#But I consider this a journey. Means I have to show something for the month. And with so many changes made in 2023 — it’s possible. :)

[dadbots]

May this year bring us an abundance of fulfillment, achieved desires and comfort. 🖤

[smileysuh]

dark protector

🌙 starring. Choi Seungcheol x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. “When I’m balls deep in your pussy, watching you writhe under me, listening to your pretty sounds- that will be the cherry on top of this birthday,” he explains. “Thank you for wanting to make me feel good, but- usually, baby, I like to be the giver.”

tw/cw. mentions of past relationship abuse/trauma/cheating, alcohol, bar fights, Cheol gets grazed with a knife, unprotected sex, dry humping, hand job, blow job, pussy eating, fingering, pleasure dom!Cheol, breast worship, dirty talk, praise, size kink/manhandling, multiple reader orgasms, groping, Cheol is a big muscled tattooed man, creampie, birthday sex, etc… I pet names: (hers) baby.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 14.2k

🍭 aus. tattoo/motorcycle au, nurse!reader, soulmates, etc…

☀️ mlist + an.  The tarot deck used in the prologue is ‘The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Guide Deck’ by Kim Krans. I had so much fun exploring a more spiritual-themed plot, the idea of soulmates and spirit guides and such :)

Prologue

It’s been six months since your breakup. Six months of self-work and healing practices. Six months of connecting with your spirit guides, hoping you can work through this dark period of your life and come out the other side.

You’ve just gotten off a long shift at the hospital, where you work as an emergency room nurse. Cleaning up other people’s messes makes you feel a little more whole every day, it shows you that while your wounds might be deeper than the skin, you have the resources to fix things that seem unfixable.

After a shower, you slump onto your couch, your hands reaching for one of your tarot decks. It’s as if you can feel the energy radiating off your spirit animal cards, and you remove them carefully from the box, holding them close to your chest.

“Spirit,” you say softly. “I think I’m finally ready to try dating again. But I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll end up in the same situation as last time, finding a man who needs to be fixed- I know my pattern is finding broken men, and I’m done with that. I need guidance. I need some sort of sign that will show up when I meet the right person.”

Part of your healing journey was writing down what traits you’d want in a partner. You’d made a list that included, ‘kind, smart, patient, stable, loyal, and protective,’ and you’d folded to your own physical tastes by writing ‘tattoos’ as well. You can’t help it, you like the way art looks on skin, and although all the tatted bad boys you’ve dated in the past have been assholes, you’re holding onto a hope that you can find a good man with tattoos. You know they’re out there, you just have to find one.

“Spirit, can you help me pull a card, and whatever animal is on that card could be a tattoo that my future significant other would have?” you ask. “Please don’t choose a lion or a wolf or something super common- I want an animal that is a little more unique, something that couldn’t just be coincidence… but, I mean, if my soulmate is meant to have a wolf then I guess I can make that work.”

You hate questioning your guides, hate putting boundaries on them. If your soulmate has a stupid, overdone tattoo like every other man with ink, then so be it.

Taking a deep breath, you begin to shuffle your spirit animal deck. 

You’re not being too fast with your shuffle, you prefer to sit for a long time and wait for cards to pop out rather than force a reading with erratic motions. Focusing on your breathing, and your ask from the spirit, you wait patiently.

Soon, a card pops out, landing on the coffee table in front of you.

An Elk looks up at you, and you take a moment to assess the card before finding the guide book.

You flip to the Earth section, finding the Elk easily. There are a few keywords at the top of the reading, they say ‘Stable, resilient, headstrong, the father.’

Stable is a word you’d written into your boyfriend manifestation notes, and you consider that for a moment before reading further. 

“The great Elk represents the Earth element in its masculine form. This means it provides underlying support and stability amidst life’s many changes. An Elk personality is fully established in themselves and knows their core values. They become known and respected for acting in ways that uphold those values. Sometimes the Elk’s ego can become inflated, but for the most part, they make damn good fathers, mothers, lovers, and friends. The world needs more elk energy.”

You think about the type of man who could be stable, whether that’s financially or emotionally. You’re hoping to find a man as set and in love with his job as you are- the kind of man you could build a future with. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been thinking about kids, and the note that Elk personalities make good fathers and lovers makes the feeling of hope stir within you.

However, the Elk - like the Lion and the Wolf -  is a pretty common tattoo. 

“I’m wondering if I should ask for a second card,” you tell your guides. “This deck has numerous animals connected to zodiac signs. Fish for Pisces, Scorpion for Scorpio… I know not all zodiacs have an animal correlated to them, so I won’t use this as a defining factor, but… maybe to make things even a little more specific, could you help me pull a card to represent the zodiac sign for my future Elk tattooed boyfriend?” 

This feels like a lot. And you’re aware that there are only a few cards in this large deck that will actually connect to the zodiac, so you prepare yourself for a dud card.

You begin to shuffle, and this time, a card pops out even faster than the first. It’s face down on your coffee table, and you take a breath, willing this to be a sign.

When you flip the card, you find a lion staring up at you.

The lion is correlated with the Leo zodiac, and you swallow thickly, thinking about the traits generally connected to Leos. The words that come to mind are ‘confident, loyal, ambitious, and protective,’ two of which are traits you’d manifested.

You find your guidebook again, reading the top line of traits: “Patient, regal, a complete master.”

“The Lion is a master of the fire element and the living mascot of self-transformation. A lion personality dedicates their life to personal and spiritual growth. This dedication inspires some and intimidates others, therefore the Lion is respected by all but known intimately by few. Some mistake the Lion as hard to access or aloof, yet those with a keener eye know better. Lions are observant, stealth, and precise in their words and actions. They do not waste energy or resources. This card reminds us that self-mastery is available to all, no matter where our quest begins.”

You consider your reading as you put your deck away and head to bed. A Leo man with an Elk tattoo, someone who is patient, stable, headstrong, loyal, and maybe a little egotistical, but hopefully not in any ways that would be damaging to you like your narcissist of an ex-boyfriend.

You’re prepared to not find a man who fits this bill, but you feel a little better about narrowing down the traits you’re attracted to. Some people don’t believe in tarot, and while you can understand that, this reading has spoken to you in a way that you can’t quite explain.

There’s no timeline to the reading, and you won’t be restricting yourself waiting for a man with an Elk tattoo to sweep you off your feet, but it feels a little easier having some parameters. 

When you fall asleep, you dream of a large man standing in shadows, Elk-like antlers protruding from his head. 

One:

“Tell me again how you found out about this place?” you sigh, getting out of your best friend’s car to stare at the tattoo studio.

“God, I’ve told you a hundred times,” Sunmin rolls her eyes. “One of my sister’s boyfriend’s cousins’s boyfriends work here.”

“I’m going to need you to say that slower.”

“My sister’s boyfriend, Jeonghan, his cousin is dating one of the artists here, and he says they’re all super hot. And I figured, since your tarot cards told you a few months ago that you’ll find some dude with an elk, a tattoo shop is a good place to look for him.”

“Okay, but please don’t bring up the actual tarot,” you plead. “People judge me for that shit all the time.”

“My lips are sealed but my eyes will be wide open,” she grins.

The two of you enter the tattoo shop, and the air conditioning is a welcome reprieve from the hot summer outside. Your friend chats with the receptionist about her consultation with an artist named Vernon, and soon the two of you are being escorted deeper into the studio.

It’s an open plan layout, with small sections for each artist. Only one man is currently tattooing someone, and you suppose that since it’s the morning, they likely get busier as the day goes on.

There’s a large man who approaches you and your friend as you sit in Vernon’s section. “Hi! You must be Vernon’s ten o’clock consultation! I’m Mingyu. Vernon’s just chatting with our boss in the back, but he’ll be out pretty quick.”

“Hi, I’m Sunmin and this is y/n,” your friend introduces you. “We have no problem waiting.”

“Cool. I don’t have a client for a while, I can keep you guys company while you wait for Vernon if you’d like.”

“We’d love that,” Sunmin beams. 

“How did you guys hear about us?” Mingyu asks, taking a seat on the tattoo artist chair.

“My sister’s boyfriend’s cousin is dating one of the guys who work here,” Sunmin explains.

“Is your sister’s boyfriend Jeonghan?” 

You’re shocked the man was able to follow what Sunmin just said.

“Yup! That’s him!” Sunmin confirms.

“Love that guy,” Mingyu grins. “Yeah, I’m dating his cousin. He told me he’d tell others about the shop but I didn’t think he’d actually follow through with it.”

“Well, here he is, following through,” Sunmin laughs. 

“So is this tattoo consult for you?”

Sunmin nods. “Yup! I’ve always liked ink, got a few small pieces, but I wanted something bigger for my thigh.” 

“How about you?” Mingyu asks. “Any future tattoo plans?”

“Not at the moment,” you respond, gaze shifting to a door that leads to the office in the back. Two men have come out, they’re both quite handsome, dressed in oversized hoodies that obscure any ink on their torsos. 

“I’ve actually been looking at elk tattoos,” Sunmin lies, “know anyone with anything like that?”

Mingyu opens his mouth to respond, but one of the men from the back is already approaching. “Hi, are you Sunmin?” he asks.

“That’s me,” your best friend beams.

“I’m Vernon,” the soft looking man smiles. Mingyu gets out of his seat, bidding a quick farewell before going back to his own section. As Vernon and Sunmin begin to talk about her tattoo plans, you find your eyes shifting to the man who must be the boss as he walks over to inspect the tattoo taking place.

He’s got a nice build, and you can see the outline of strong shoulders even from under his large black hoodie. He rolls up the sleeves, and you can see he’s heavily inked, but from a distance, you can’t make out any elk-like marks. 

Sunmin had done her best to try to ask Mingyu about a tattoo fitting what your tarot had told you to watch out for, but you suppose you shouldn’t be shocked that your soulmate isn’t in the first shop you’ve gone into. 

You relax against your chair, listening to Sunmin and Vernon talk.

You’ll do your best to find your Elk inked Leo, but you suppose you can’t rush the process.

Two: 

You’re at a bar with friends when you hear a commotion just outside. As the designated driver of the night, you haven’t touched any drinks, and although it might not be anything serious, your emergency room nurse instincts kick in, drawing you to the possible danger as you quickly make your way to the front of the bar.

You catch the tail end of what’s happening, one bouncer chasing after some guy who’s booking it down the street, and another man being held back by a second security guard. 

The man being held back looks enraged, and he manages to break out of the bouncers grasp- which is when you see blood on the back of his white shirt.

“Fuck that guy,” the injured man snarles, and when he turns, you catch a glimpse of his profile.

It’s the man from the tattoo parlour, the one you assumed was the boss.

While he looks extremely pissed off, you can’t help but approach. “Excuse me,” you say quietly, grabbing his attention. “You’re bleeding.”

“Am I?” He looks over his shoulder, grabbing at his shirt where the blood is. “Fuck, he must have grazed me.”

Must have grazed him… with a knife?

“I’m uh… I’m an ER nurse, do you mind if I take a look?” you ask.

“I’ll grab the first aid kit,” the bouncer tells you, darting back into the bar.

“I’m fine,” the tattooed man tells you.

“Then there’s no harm in me taking a look to confirm that.” You try to smile softly at him.

The man looks at you, narrowing his eyes. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“I think I was at your parlour last week, my friend had a consult,” you explain. “I’m y/n.”

He looks you up and down. “Seungcheol.”

You can see the anger and tension dissipating from his shoulders. 

“Why don’t you take a seat on the curb and I’ll look at your shoulder?” you suggest.

Seungcheol sighs, but does as he’s told. He sits down, grabbing at the back of his shirt. You catch him wince as he tugs the bloodied fabric off, and you’re shocked at what’s revealed.

It’s not the slight gash that makes you take a step back, it’s the Elk head tattoo on the center of his spine, with large antlers tangling up toward the back of his neck.

“Is it that bad?’ Seungcheol asks, looking over his shoulder at you again.

“No, it’s not that.” You do your best to compose yourself, kneeling down to look at the wound, although your eyes keep going back to the Elk. 

The bouncer returns with the first aid kit, and Seungcheol sits there quietly while you clean the wound. “You’re right that it was a graze, but I still think stitches would be a good idea,” you tell him.

“I’m not going to the hospital,” Seungheol responds while you press gauze to the wound, bandaging him up with medical tape. 

“Why not?”

“I just don’t like hospitals,” the beefy tattooed man says simply.

You release a sigh. “Listen, I’m going to give you my number, and if there’s any sign of infection, call me, okay?”

“You said you're an emergency room nurse, right?” he asks, standing up when you finish with his shoulder.

“Uh huh.” Words evade you as you look at his chiseled chest, and you do your best not to be too obvious at the way you’re gawking at him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I did to piss off the dude with the knife?”

“It’s not important,” you respond quickly. “You identified it as a knife wound, and that’s all I needed to know.”

“I was in the emergency room one time, got stabbed by some kid outside a strip club, the nurses kept pestering me about the details. It’s one of the reasons I don’t like hospitals,” Seungcheol explains.

“Well, your business is your business,” you tell him. “All I care about is that your wound doesn’t get infected, and you take care of it if you’re not getting stitches.”

Seungcheol’s gaze feels hot as he stares at you, and then he pulls his phone out of his pocket, handing it to you. “Here. For your number.”

Your fingers are shaky as you type in your digits before handing it back to him, and you can’t help but notice the way your hands briefly touch.

“I need a drink,” Seungcheol says. “You coming back inside? I’ll buy you something, as a thank you for not pestering me.”

“No thanks is necessary,” you try to assure him, but Seungcheol is already reaching for your hand.

“Don’t fight this,” he tells you. “Let me say thank you in the way that I know how.”

You allow the big burly man to guide you back into the bar. He orders himself a shot of tequila, then turns to you expectantly.

“Uh, can I get an iced tea?” you ask.

“Not drinking?”

“I’m the designated driver tonight,” you explain. “My friends are over there-” you turn and catch your whole table of friends staring at you. 

Seungcheol follows your gaze and smirks, offering your friends a small wave. “Okay, so you're a stay in your lane ER nurse, and you’re a designated driver.”

“That sums it up I guess,” you laugh.

“She’ll get an iced tea,” Seungcheol tells the bartender.

You like that he’s not pushing you. Some people pressure you to drink when you’re out, but you like to have your head screwed on straight on your shoulders. You never know when an emergency is going to happen, and your soul calling is helping people. On top of that, it’s nearly midnight, and you’ve got a shift in five hours that you need to be sober for.

“I’m trying to find red flags with you, you know?” Seungcheol says nonchalantly. “But so far, I’m not seeing any.”

“Maybe that’s because I don’t have any?” you suggest.

“I’ve been told I’m a walking red flag,” Seungcheol muses. 

“Tattoos can be deceiving,” you point out, although, studies do show that people with trauma are more likely to be inked- all your ex’s have had tattoos, and they’ve all had dark pasts. You can’t help you type, and staring at the man with the elk on his back, you wonder if this is going to be just another repetition. 

Your drinks are set in front of you and you watch Seungcheol down his tequila shot. He shakes his head out a little at the taste, and you appreciate the way his dark curls look with the motion. 

“Anyways, you’re here with friends, I won’t keep you,” he sighs.

“Thanks for the iced tea,” you smile softly.

“Don’t mention it,” Seungcheol nods.

You mirror the movement, grabbing your drink and heading back to your table.

The moment you’re seated, all your friends erupt into chatter.

“Who was that?!” one asks.

“He was hot!” another friend notes.

“Wasn’t that the dude from the tattoo shop?” Sunmin questions, looking after Seungcheol. “Is he… bleeding?”

“Yeah, it’s the guy from the parlour,” you sigh. “His name is Seungcheol, and yes, someone tried to stab him outside.”

“Jesus!” Sunmin’s eyes widen. “But… he bought you a drink?”

“I just cleaned the wound and bandaged it,” you explain. “He insisted on getting me a drink.”

“Well… that’s nice, isn’t it?” one of your friends says thoughtfully.

“I guess.” It’s clear you don’t want to talk about this further, and your friends quickly go back to discussing something else, but you inch closer to Sunmin. “He has a tattoo.”

“He has a lot of tattoos,” she laughs.

“No, he has like… this big elk head and antlers on his back.”

“What?!” 

“Don’t make a big deal out of it,” you warn her, not wanting her to raise her voice too loud so your other friends hear. You’re quite private about your spiritual leanings. Being a woman of science, and ER nurse no less, sometimes it feels like believing in fate isn’t something that works well with your job.

“We’re talking about this later,” Sunmin tells you.

“Yeah.”

You sit back, thinking about it.

Obviously your interaction with Seungcheol was short. He came off as a bit of a hot head, perhaps you’d even use the word brash- there was certainly a level of ego that radiated off of him as well, but, at the same time, he’s one of the most handsome tattooed men you’ve ever met.

You’d asked your guides for a sign, and tonight, the Elk had bared its antlered head.

Now it’s up to you to decide if you trust in fate, or if this is all just a coincidence. 

Three:

You’re about seven hours into your eight hour shift. Having started at five am, after being a designated driver and getting your friends home at three, you’re quite tired. Things were very busy for a while in the emergency room, but for whatever reason now that it’s noon, things have seemed to calm down a little.

You’re just sitting in the nurse station with your coworker Joshua when your phone buzzes in your pocket. It’s an unknown number, and at first, you’re not sure if you should answer it.

Against your better judgement, you bring your phone to your ear, “Hello?”

“Is this the stay in your lane ER nurse who’s also the designated driver?”

You let out a sigh. “Y/N.”

“Yeah, you.”

“Hi, Seungcheol.”

“Hi. So, I tried to stitch up the wound when I got home, and I’m not sure if I did a good job.”

“You tried to stitch it up?” you ask, already exasperated. “Why didn’t you ask me to do it at the bar?”

“I just didn’t,” he says simply.

“Send me a pic of the stitches,” you instruct.

“One sec.”

You wait patiently, and Joshua catches your eyes. ‘What’s happening?’ he mouths.

You quickly mute your call. “Some guy I helped at the bar last night got grazed by a knife, he didn’t want stitches, but decided to try to stitch himself up this morning.”

“What the fuck?” Joshua laughs.

“Okay, sent.” Seungcheol’s voice makes you hit the unmute button, and you open your messages to see the picture.

Joshua rolls closer, staring at your phone. While Seungcheol’s broad muscular back is a bit of a distraction, the stitch up job on the wound is sloppy, and draws most of your attention.

“Seungcheol,” you sigh. “I’m going to say this in the nicest possible way. You might be a tattoo artist, but your stitching skills are sub par at best.”

The line is quiet for a moment, then you hear a chuckle. “Someone’s in a grouchy mood.”

Joshua’s eyes widen, and he looks at you for your response. 

“You would be too if you spent all yesterday sleeping, woke up to be a designated driver for your friends, got home at three and had to be at work for five.”

“Oh… are you at work now?”

“Uh huh.”

“I shouldn’t bother you then,” Seungcheol says quickly.

“It’s no bother,” you assure him. “Look, I’m off in an hour. I’ll swing by to your shop to check out the stitching. Most stitches should be sewn within six to eight hours, we’re bordering on twelve- I just want to make sure there’s no infection.”

“You should just go home after work.”

“You should listen to your ER nurse and let her help you,” you retort, too tired to argue with him over this.

Seungcheol makes a groaning sound. “Fine.”

“See you in an hour.”

You hang up the phone and Joshua looks you up and down. “What’s his deal?”

“Honestly,” you sigh, “I couldn’t tell ya.”

Four:

You and Joshua often have the same shifts, and you carpool together to feel more green, so it’s Joshua who drives you to the tattoo parlour when you’re done work.

Seungcheol is waiting outside, arms crossed over his broad chest, and he eyes Joshua as the both of you get out of the car. 

“Hey,” Seungcheol says as you approach, “who’s this?”

“My coworker, Joshua,” you introduce them, and Joshua has the decency to hold out a hand.

You hold your breath, releasing it when Seungcheol gives him a customary curt handshake.

“He’s your ride?” Seungcheol asks.

“Uh huh, is that a problem?”

“I just don’t feel comfortable having him around while you check out my shoulder, even if he does work with you” Seungcheol explains. “Listen, I’ve got a motorcycle and an extra helmet in the shop, how about I take you home after this?”

Both men look at you, and for a moment, you feel flustered and put on the spot.

You’ve never been on a bike before- but fuck it, you’re too tired to work through Seungcheol’s weird alpha behavior and territorial mentality about you having a male coworker with you.

“That works,” you agree. “Thanks for the ride, Josh.”

“Text me when you’re home,” he warns, pulling you in for a hug.

You can practically feel Seungcheol staring daggers at the two of you when Joshua pulls away and heads back to his car.

Seungcheol’s demeanor is a bit icy as he leads you into the shop. You notice Vernon and Mingyu. Mingyu even says a loud “Hi, y/n!” and you nod politely as Seungcheol takes you into the back office, closing the door.

“So, is that dude your boyfriend?” he asks, heading to the first aid kit already open on his desk.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone right now. My last ex, uh… he did a number on me.” 

“Yeah?” Seungcheol takes off his shirt while you grab medical gloves to pull on. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m not sure what there is to say,” you admit with a sad laugh.

“Then you don’t have to say anything,” he decides.

“How about you?” you ask, softly prompting him to turn away from you on his spinny chair so you can assess the wound, gently removing the gauze. 

“What about me?” he counters.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Nope.” He’s quiet for a moment. “My ex was a bit of a shit show too.”

“Well I guess we’re kindred in that at least,” you smile, leaning close to get a better look at his shoulder. 

Seungcheol shivers slightly, and you think your breath on his throat must have set him off a little, but he stays silent. You notice his hands balling into fists on his thighs.

“I think your stitching can stay, but I’m going to clean your wound again and rebandage it.”

“Sounds good,” Seungcheol responds gruffly.

“While I’m doing this, do you mind if I ask about your tattoo? This big Elk?” You gently graze your surgical gloved pinky finger down his spine, and Seungcheol shivers again.

“Jesus, don’t do that,” he snaps.

“Sorry. It’s a pretty tattoo, I couldn’t help myself.” Your skin is heating with embarrassment, and you notice Seungcheol’s ears turning red too.

“I uh,” he swallows thickly. “My grandma was a tarot reader. She was always doing these readings, very connected to the Earth and shit. She used to tell me I had an Elk soul, like her. Something about spiritual guidance, protection, kindred souls or some shit. I’m not super into that stuff, but when she died, I kept having these stupid Elk dreams. Sort of felt like she was trying to communicate with me- if you believe in that sort of thing. Anyways, I figured if I got the tattoo, I’d feel closer to her, like she has my back.”

This is not the tattoo explanation you’d ever considered would come from a man like Seungcheol, and it takes you a few moments to register it and decide on a response.

“It sounds like you were very close with your grandma, I’m sorry that she passed.”

“It’s okay,” Seungcheol shrugs it off. “Shit happens.”

And just like that, he’s closing up again.

You wonder if you should tell him about your tarot connections, but you don’t want to sound like some crazy chick if you mention your spirit guides pointing you toward an Elk. Instead, you bite your tongue as you finish up his wound. 

“All done,” you announce.

Seungcheol doesn’t say anything as he stands up and puts on his shirt. “What’s your address?” he asks, pulling out his phone.

You show him on the maps where you live. “Are you sure you want to give me a ride? Don’t you have… clients?”

“I can get you home and be back in time for my next appointment,” he assures you. “Think of this as another way of saying thank you for fixing me up.”

So far, he’s shown two love languages. He’s bought you a drink, and now he’s doing an act of service. He’d seemed hesitant on touch today, unlike last night when he’d been drinking, and you wonder what his history in relationships is like.

It sounds like you’ve both had shitty past experiences.

You just want to figure him out.

“Have you been on a bike before?” Seungcheol asks, grabbing a small black fullface helmet off a shelf of motorcycle memorabilia. 

“No.”

“Are you scared?”

“More tired than anything else,” you admit with a laugh.

“Well, my Harley has a sissy bar, so you’ll be okay.”

You don’t even know what a sissy bar is, but you follow Seungcheol out to his bike anyways. 

“Here, we can put your stuff in my saddlebag,” he explains, opening a large additional compartment near the back tire of his bike. “I don’t always ride with these, but for whatever reason, I thought it would be a good idea to have them on today.”

He helps you put your work bag in his bike, and then, he helps you with your helmet, his fingers delicately grazing your throat as he tightens the strap there.

“If anything is wrong, just tap my thigh,” he tells you, swinging a leg over his bike and starting the engine.

Even with layers of protection over your ears from the helmet, his Harley is loud. It purrs, like a lion, and you stand in a daze for a moment before he makes a motion for you to hop on. 

You’re careful of his injured shoulder as you slowly get on the bike, adjusting yourself on the seat. 

Seungcheol reaches for your hand, settling it on his hip. He opens his visor. “Ready?”

You nod.

He nods back, and the bike roars to life. He pulls out of the parking spot, and you hold on tighter, thankful for the additional padding of a safety bar behind your back- is this the sissy bar he was talking about? 

You can’t dwell on motorcycle terms as Seungcheol gets onto the street, the bike moving even faster. The feeling of summer air is hot but pleasant on your skin as you ride between cars. You get the sneaking suspicion that Seungcheol is holding back on his driving-

You could imagine him weaving between vehicles and being a general menace on his bike, but with you on the back, he’s trying his best to be a gentleman.

You’re shocked at the trust you already have in this man. A man who a little over twelve hours ago, was a stranger.

You’ve never considered yourself an adrenaline junkie, but on the back of Seungcheol’s bike, everything else slips away.

You’re at your home before you know it, and you almost feel sad when Seungcheol pulls up to the curb. He motions for you to get off, and he joins you on the sidewalk a moment later, quickly helping you with your helmet.

“How was it?” he asks.

“That was super fun,” you tell him, beaming.

Seungcheol grins when he sees the expression on your face. “Glad you enjoyed it.”

“Listen, keep the helmet for now,” Seungcheol says. “I have your number and I know where you live, so I’ll come back for it.”

You feel your expression drop, and Seungcheol cocks his head to the side, concern written on his face.

“You good?”

“I just-” you swallow thickly. “Sorry, my uh- my ex used to say that to me. That he knew where I lived when I broke up with him. It felt like a threat, and it’s one of the reasons I had to move a couple of months ago.”

Seungcheol is quiet for a moment. “Fuck that guy.”

You nod. “Fuck that guy.”

Five:

You’ve had Seungcheol stuck in your head. After he’d dropped you off, it had been hard to sleep, your mind preoccupied with his answer about his tattoo. When you’d finally woken up hours later, you hadn’t been able to help yourself, you’d pulled out your tarot deck.

“Spirit,” you’d breathed. “I think I may have met him. The Elk. And even though you’ve given me the sign with his tattoo, I feel like I need more confirmation. I’m going to shuffle, and if this is meant for me, can you please give me a love card?”

There are numerous cards within the deck that talk about relationships, partnerships and new beginnings, and you’re hoping that one pops out.

You begin to shuffle, closing your eyes and taking it easy.

It’s about a minute before a card pops out. It’s upside down on your coffee table. 

You take a deep breath, slowly reaching out to flip the card.

The Two of Cups stares up at you, and you don’t even have to open your tarot guide book to know what that means. It’s a card of unity, of partnership. Other than the Lovers, it’s one of the most clear relationship cards you can get. 

You stare at it for a long while. The Elk may have been a coincidence. The fact that his own late grandmother had been a tarot reader may have been a coincidence. But pulling the Two of Cups, out of any other card, when seaking confirmation- this feels like fate. 

Part of you wants to be extra sure and ask for the lovers card, but you also think this might be a good time to trust your spirit team. They’ve guided you twice now, and maybe you have to look inward.

Why are you so cautious that Seungcheol might be the one?

Are you ready for a new relationship?

You’d thought you were ready- and here you are, meeting a man who fits your type-

Maybe it’s the fact that he is your type that you’re worried. What if he turns out to be a dickhead like the last ones? You’re still holding onto a lot of fear. You want to protect yourself, which you validate as a legitimate concern.

But… are you going to spend the rest of your life frightened?

Or are you going to try to let go of those fears and learn to trust again, even if it ends up biting you in the ass?

The possible risk is heartbreak, but the possible reward is endless happiness.

Fate can only do so much, this is the part where your own actions will dictate the future.

Six:

“So, how’s that dude with the tattoos doing?” Joshua asks, taking a seat next to you in the nursing station when things have finally calmed down.

“Cheol? I uh… haven’t talked to him since he dropped me off at my place two days ago.”

“Is that good or bad?” 

You shrug. “I’m not sure. We’re both busy people. I work here, and he owns a tattoo shop.”

“I guess that’s true,” Joshua nods. “Maybe you should call him and see how he’s doing?”

You quirk a brow at your friend. “What’s your angle here?”

Now it’s Joshua’s turn to shrug his shoulders. “No angle. I think, as your friend, sometimes it’s important to give you a little push. After all, your tarot said he’s your soulmate.”

Joshua’s one of your only coworkers who you’ve felt comfortable opening up to. He knows about all your spiritual inklings, and you’d filled him in on your whole Elk, Leo, Two of Cups fiasco yesterday. 

“Fine, I’ll give him a quick call,” you sigh. “Strictly as a nurse who wants to see how the wound is doing.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Joshua grins.

You roll your eyes at him, fishing your phone out of your pocket.

Seungcheol answers on the second ring. “Hey.”

“Hi, how are you doing?” you ask, putting him on speaker phone. Joshua might be encouraging you to do this as a friend, but you know better than anyone that he also loves some good tea.

“Doing okay.”

“And your shoulder?”

“Good as far as I know… why? You worried about me?” You can hear the grin in his voice, the fact that he’s loving the concern you have for him. “I’ve had worse, you know.”

“I’d just hate for it to get infected,” you sigh.

“Look, if you want to do your due diligence as a nurse and everything, how about you get drinks with me and assess it yourself?” he suggests.

Joshua grabs your thigh, eyes widening, waiting on what you’ll say next.

“We could do that,” you respond.

“Sounds good, when are you free?”

“I’m off tomorrow.”

“How do you feel about eight o’clock?” 

“That works,” you nod.

“I’ll pick you up at eight then, and bring your helmet.”

You find yourself smiling. “Will do.”

“It’s a date. See you then.”

“Bye, Cheol.”

Your heart is racing as you hang up the phone, and Joshua immediately repeats Seungcheol’s words, “It’s a date.” 

“It’s a date,” you respond, jittery at the idea.

“Some guys are assholes and say ‘let’s hang out,’ but this one says ‘it’s a date.’”

“That’s a good sign,” you insist.

“A very good sign,” Joshua agrees. “If this dude ends up being the one, I might just have to get into tarot.”

Seven:

You’re surprised to find yourself playing nighttime mini golf with Seungcheol on your date. “What happened to drinks?” you ask as he pays for your tickets and grabs your clubs from the attendant.

He shrugs. “Figured you’re a nurse so you might not wanna get on my motorcycle after I had a few drinks, also the fact that you were designated driver last time I saw you at a bar- I thought this might be more your style. But, I’ll warn you, I’m not going to go easy on ya.”

You laugh, pleasantly surprised at how astute this man can be. “I think this will be fun.”

“Me too.”

Seungcheol’s wearing black jeans and a charcoal v-neck that shows off his strong shoulders. He’s the epitome of your type: a bad boy with tattoos. Yet, when you begin to play, he’s shockingly patient.

“Let me show you how to hold the club,” he suggests on the second hole, waiting for you to nod before he steps behind you and wraps his body around your own. “Feet positioning is key.” He also gently adjusts your hands, and your heart leaps in your chest when he breathes against your throat. “It might take some time to get used to,” Seungcheol warns, “so don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t come naturally.”

You hit the golf ball, and it goes a lot closer to the hole than your first shot had.

“Did it take a while for you to get into mini golf?” you ask.

“Nah, I was always a natural,” he teases, flashing you a wink before he takes his own shot.

You admire the way his shoulders look with his back to you. “So what got you into being a tattoo artist? Into having your own place?” 

“Well, my grandma passed, and she left me a pretty big inheritance. She always thought I could succeed as a tattoo artist, but before that I was stuck doing blue collar type shit. I think, the money was her final way of telling me to follow my dreams. I’m kind of obsessed with ink, if you haven’t noticed.” He holds out his arms, which are littered with patchwork. “How about you? How does someone get into being an emergency room nurse?”

“I just like helping people,” you explain. “When I was a kid, I broke my arm falling off the monkey bars. I’d always been scared of hospitals, but the nurse who helped me in emergency was an angel. She made it less scary, and when it was over, I realized I wanted to be just like her. When people come into the emergency room, it’s never fun. It’s frightening, and cold- and I want to be there for people who are going through that, to be a warm, friendly face.”

“My grandma had a light worker's soul too,” Seungcheol nods. “That’s what she always called it anyways. She wasn’t ever officially trained, but in her later years she got into herbal medicine. Anytime I was sick it was lemon and garlic chicken noodle soup with bone broths and the works- always made me feel a lot better.”

“She sounds like she was an amazing woman.”

“She was,” Seungcheol agrees. “I don’t know you that well yet, but I think she would have liked you.”

You grin. “Is that an important trait you look for when taking girls to mini golf?” 

Seungcheol lets out a laugh. “It should be. My last ex wouldn’t have fit the bill, and at the time, I thought that was okay, but it didn’t end well.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I’ll talk about mine if you talk about yours,” he suggests. “You said your last boyfriend was a creep when you broke up, threatened to come to your place and shit, he sounds like a piece of work.”

“He was,” you sigh. “I’ve got this thing for big tattooed men, bad boy types. It always leads to me getting my heart broken. He would tell me I was the one and everything, but I found out he was cheating on me with some waitress at the bar he used to go to all the time.”

“So what I’m hearing is… I’m your type.” Seungcheol flashes you a wink and you roll your eyes at him. “I’m just fucking with you. I’m sorry to hear that. Cheaters are the fucking worst.”

“Sounds like you’ve experienced something like that too.” 

“Looks like both of our ex’s were cheating fucks,” Seungcheol says. “I know it’s a red flag to talk shit about your ex or whatever, but some ex’s deserved to be talked bad about.”

You nod. “A hundred percent.”

“Did you think you were going to be with your last one forever?” Seungcheol asks after a moment.

“I thought so.”

“Me too with mine, I was just about ready to get her a ring.” He frowns, looking down at his golf ball. With a sigh, he easily knocks it into the hole. “Well, this is just the way life happens I guess.”

It’s clear you both have very similar wounds. You’re shocked at how easy it is to talk about this with Seungcheol. Some people say not to talk about ex’s on dates with new people, but this almost feels therapeutic. You understand Seungcheol better, and you’re sure he understands you too.

It’s promising to know he thinks about the future, that he’s ready to settle down, not all men are.

Maybe you’re both in the same boat with all of this, and that’s a hopeful thought.

Eight: 

Seungcheol can’t seem to get you out of his head. 

He’d never thought of himself as a particularly superstitious man. His grandma had been spiritual, and he’d always loved that aspect of her. He’d enjoyed doing tarot readings and making all sorts of elixirs with her in the garden. She’d told him he’d be a successful tattoo artist, she’d seen it in the stars, and while she’d been a big part of making that premonition come true, he wonders what else she might be right about.

Seungcheol’s grandma had always told him he’d end up with a healer like her. A doctor, a psychiatrist, a nurse- she wasn’t very specific, but she’d said his soul would call in a light worker when the time was right.

He feels drawn to you, his little emergency room nurse, designated driver, light worker. 

It’s been such a short amount of time, but there’s something unexplainable about the way he feels.

“You look distracted,” Mingyu muses, coming to join Seungcheol outside the tattoo parlour where he’s puffing on his vape.

“Just thinking.”

“About your birthday party tonight, or that girl you brought through the other day?” Mingyu presses, grinning as he bumps his shoulder against Seungcheol’s. 

Seungcheol can’t help but sigh at his friend’s prying ways. 

“Look you don’t have to tell me anything, but summer is almost over and you need a backpack. My angel has been surrounded by testosterone motorcycle rides for months, and we’d all love another girl to be part of the group. You should invite her out tonight.”

Of course Mingyu’s coming at this from an angle of having a girlfriend. He and Wonwoo are obsessed with their ‘little angel,’ and Mingyu’s always talking about the joys of being in a relationship. It can get somewhat tedious for Seungcheol.

“Don’t you have a client soon?” Seungcheol sighs.

“Point taken, I’ll leave you be,” Mingyu says, patting him on the shoulder. 

As soon as his friend is inside, Seungcheol pulls out his phone. He thinks about what he’s going to say to you, before typing out an easy, “Up to anything tonight?”

He’s shocked by how quick your response is. “It’s Sunmi’s birthday this week so we’re celebrating tonight since it’s Saturday.”

Seungcheol’s mood drops, and a moment later, you’re calling him.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” you respond. “How are you doing?”

“Not so bad.” He wants to tell you that it’s his birthday tonight, wants to try to convince you to come, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to guilt you, doesn’t want to mess up your plans. “What’s up?”

“I just… I know we’ve only gone on one actual date, and I only met you a week ago, but… I just want you to know, when I go out tonight, I’m not going to be hitting on anyone or anything.”

He’s taken aback for a moment. “I wasn’t really worried about that.”

“Okay! Good! I just- I know with your ex and everything- and I just, I figured I’d clarify, even though we’ve only been on one date, I’m a one guy at a time kind of girl.”

He respects that you’re so direct about this, and he appreciates your loyalty. You really are a good person. 

“I’m a one girl at a time kind of guy,” Seungcheol says finally. “Glad we’re on the same page about that.”

“Me too.” He can hear your smile, and it makes his heart swell. 

“Anyways, I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight.”

“I will, bye, Cheol.”

Nine:

You’re having a great night. The drinks have been flowing, and you’re having a fun time celebrating Sunmi’s birthday. Things are fuzzy in the best way- until you hear a familiar voice say your name.

You turn to find your ex standing close to you at the bar, and your heart sinks in your chest.

“It’s been a while,” your ex states.

You can’t even find the words to speak, suddenly getting drunk seems like a horrible idea.

You’ve just started to feel safe again, to feel stable- you’d thought being out with your friends, you could let loose, but now your ex is here and your heart is beginning to race.

“Have you been drinking?” your ex asks, coming to stand closer to you at the bar top, where you’d been sipping a gin and tonic. 

“I, uh-” your words catch in your throat, and you swallow thickly. “It’s Sunmin’s birthday.”

Your ex nods, and when you look toward your table, you see Sunmin gaping at you.

Turning away from Sunmi, your ex addresses you. “Is she still a huge bitch?”

“I-” you want to defend your friend, but you feel frozen. You can’t think- you’re completely overwhelmed, and you can hear the blood rushing in your ears, your heart like thunder in your chest.

“We need to talk,” your ex says next. “Come outside with me.”

He grabs your arm, and then a hand wraps around yours. You turn to see Sunmi standing there, glaring at your ex. “What do you think you’re doing?!” she asks.

“Y/N and I need to have a chat outside,” your ex sighs, being very dismissive.

“She doesn’t have to go anywhere with you,” Sunmi insists. “Honey, do you want to go with him?”

You quickly shake your head, moving closer to your friend for safety.

“She doesn’t know what she wants,” your ex rolls his eyes, tightening his grip on your arm to the point where it almost hurts.

“We’re going to the bathroom,” Sunmi insists, somehow successfully tugging you away from your ex. 

“Run away, but I’ll be right here to talk to her when you’re done.”

It feels like a blur as Sunmi races you to the woman’s washroom. “Y/N,” she helps you to the sink, looking at your face. “Are you okay?”

“I-”

Sunmi pulls you to her chest, hugging you deeply. “We’re going to sort this out,” she promises.

“How?” You feel like crying. All the emotions come flooding back, the fear, the helplessness-

“We’re going to call Seungcheol.”

“What?” You’re in shock. “We can’t do that!”

“We can, and we will. Men like your ex only respond to other men. We’re calling him. Give me your phone.”

Reluctantly, you hand Sunmi your cell, turning on the sink to splash your arms with cold water.

“Hi, Seungcheol?” There’s a pause. “No, this is Sunmi. I’m out with y/n, we’re at a bar on Elm and fifth street, her ex just showed up- okay, okay, yeah, we’re in the bathroom in the back.”

She hangs up and you look to her for an explanation.

Your friend lets out a sigh. “As soon as I said your ex was here, Seungcheol said to give him five minutes. I’m going to keep you here and he’ll come get us, okay?”

You nod. “I’m sorry to ruin your birthday.”

“Honey, you’re not ruining anything,” she assures you, pulling you in for another hug. 

You hold back tears while you wait with Sunmi, and in no time at all, there’s a knock on the bathroom door. Seungcheol pokes his head in, and you see his expression drop when he sees you.

“What happened?” he growls, coming to join you.

“Her ex was trying to drag her outside-” Sunmi tries to explain.

“He touched you?” Seungcheol asks, anger laced in his words.

You nod, pointing to your forearm. 

“Grabbed is more like it,” Sunmi breathes.

“Okay,” Seungcheol nods. “Okay, I’ll get you out of here. Just hold onto me and we’ll get out of here.”

You nod again, allowing Seungcheol to gently take your hand. He guides you out of the bathroom, and you huddle close to his side as he walks you through the bar- you almost think things will go smoothly when your ex steps in front of you.

“Who’s this, you’re new boyfriend?” he asks, venom dripping from his words.

Seungcheol stops in his tracks. “So you must be the dip shit ex.”

“Say that again, asshole,” your ex growls, eyes narrowing.

“You must be-” Seungcheol broadens his shoulders, “the dip shit ex.”

Your ex releases a laugh, and then he’s taking a swing. It feels slow and fast at the same time, Sunmi tears you away from Seungcheol, who dodges the punch easily, only to land a blow to your ex’s stomach-

“Y/N! Sunmi!” Mingyu’s voice appears out of nowhere, and suddenly two strong arms are wrapping around you and your friend. “Outside!”

Mingyu keeps you close as he gets you and Sunmi out of the bar while a commotion ensues in your wake. Four motorcycles are pulled up on the curb. You recognize Vernon, and there’s another man you’ve never seen before.

“Cheol’s starting shit,” Mingyu tells his friends quickly.

“We heard your ex was here?” Vernon offers, giving you a sympathetic look.

“He threw a swing at Cheol when I got inside,” Mingyu tries to explain. “Y/N, we’re going to get you out of here, Wonwoo pass me the spare helmet from the saddlebag.”

“What about Seungcheol?” you ask, watching the men fuss.

“He can take care of himself,” Mingyu assures you, helping you put on the helmet.

“Cheol will meet us at our place,” the new man, Wonwoo, says. “When he gets hot like this, he doesn’t drive very safely.”

“Trust us,” Mingyu pleads. “We just gotta get you out of here, your ex made the first swing, and nothing good can come from this now.”

You turn to Sunmi and she squeezes your hand. “It’s okay, get out of here. I’ll text you what happens.”

You can’t even think as Mingyu gets onto his bike and you awkwardly take the seat behind him. You can’t comprehend how things happened the way they did- how fast the altercation had been before your ex had taken a go at Seungcheol.

As you leave the bar, heart thundering in your chest, it’s the most you can do to try to slow your breathing, your body still carrying the trauma that you’d endured with your ex, the wound you’d thought was healed now torn open.

Ten:

“Are you sure this is okay?” you ask as Mingyu covers you with a large fluffy blanket on his couch. “I mean- you just said your girlfriend is four months pregnant and sleeping in the other room-”

“It’s fine,” Mingyu assures you.

“I’m sorry if I ruined your night.” You’d found your ability to speak again once you felt safe and in Mingyu’s apartment, and now, you can’t help the anxiety bubbling inside of you. You feel like a burden- and it’s an all too familiar feeling from your time with your ex.

“You didn’t ruin it, we were almost done anyways,” Wonwoo notes. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Y/N, deep breaths,” Mingyu tells you, sitting on the couch next to you, offering your calf a reassuring squeeze.

“Is Cheol going to be okay?” you ask.

“He’s going to be fine, that man has never lost a fight,” Mingyu explains, smiling softly.

In the distance, you hear an engine revving, and Wonwoo sighs. “There he is.”

Not even five minutes later, Seungcheol is practically bursting through the door. His eyes find you on the couch, and you’re quick to stand, allowing him to envelop you in a hug. His heart is racing in his chest, he’s clearly panicked, and when he pulls away, he looks down at you with wide eyes.

“Are you okay?” he questions, cupping your face as if checking you for injury.

“I’m okay, are you okay?” you retort.

“Just a few bruised knuckles,” he assures you. 

You find yourself laughing, and as you laugh, your eyes well up with tears. Now that he’s here, you finally feel like you can take a deep breath, and he’s quick to tug you back to his chest as you cry.

“I’m going to give you a moment, then I’m going to take you home,” he tells you, hand smoothing up and down your back.

You stay in his arms until you feel a bit better, and when you pull away, Mingyu is offering you a tissue. You clean yourself up, say your goodbyes, then Seungcheol walks you out with the spare helmet in hand.

He doesn’t say anything on the way down, but at the bike, he hands you his fullface. “Want you protected,” he tells you, grabbing the bucket helmet from your grasp.

You nod, putting on the helmet and allowing him to help you fasten it up. 

You’re quiet as you both get onto the bike, and Seungcheol adjusts your hand to his hip, squeezing gently. 

The bike roars to life and you take off.

It’s a different feeling to be on a motorcycle while still a little drunk, and you find yourself throwing your head back to look up at the night sky. 

You’ve seen the stars before, but on the back of Seungcheol’s bike, it feels like you're experiencing them for the first time. 

You lose track of time doing this, and the ride is done sooner than you’d like when he pulls up to your building. “Come on, baby,” he says softly, helping you take off your helmet. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

He holds your hand, helping you with your keys to get into the apartment complex. The elevator ride is quiet, but his hand is a reassuring constant, warm and large wrapped around your own.

He’s never been to your place, and you feel a little self conscious as you open up your door. It’s a modest apartment, one bedroom- there’s really nothing to be insecure about, but you think maybe your anxiety from the bar incident is just making you a little crazy.

“How about you sit down, and I’ll get you some water?” he suggests, helping you to the couch.

You kick off your high heels, curling up on the cushions while Seungcheol putters around your kitchen. He already looks like he belongs here, and for a brief moment, you can forget about your ex.

Seungcheol rejoins you on the couch, handing you the cup. “Here.” 

“Thank you.”

You sip on your water, trying to breathe properly again.

Seungcheol gives you the space to unwind. He doesn’t pester you with questions about the altercation with your ex at the bar, and you’re grateful for it.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” he asks finally.

You shake your head, your eyes dropping to his hands. “You’re hurt though.”

“Just bruised knuckles,” he assures you. 

“There’s blood,” you insist. “I’ll-”

“Tell me where your first aid kit is and I’ll grab it.” 

You direct him to the cupboard in your bathroom, and he returns with it, setting the case onto your coffee table. 

“How’s your shoulder?” you ask as you take out the tools you’ll need.

“Almost better, I heal fast,” he says softly.

It feels good to focus on his wounds rather than your own, and you gently clean the scrapes on his hand. His right fist is pretty badly bruised, and you do your best to treat it. Then you begin to slowly wrap his knuckles, taking your time. Two wraps around his wrist, diagonal across the top to his pinky, under the hand, to the pointer, diagonal- 

It’s a nice repetition of motions, and when you’re all done, you lift his hand to your lips, gently pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “All better.”

You look up at Seungcheol, and he stares back.

Then, he slowly moves in, carefully watching your expression. He stops just an inch from your lips, and you can feel his breath on your face. He’s waiting for you to make the final move, for you to be the one with control.

With one last look at your beautiful, dark protector, you close the distance.

It’s a soft kiss, not the kind of first kiss you’ve ever had before. Seungcheol doesn’t immediately try to dominate you like men in the past have, he lets you set the pace. You lean in closer, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself as you deepen the kiss. 

Seungcheol’s arms wrap around you, and it’s a somewhat awkward position on the couch like this, so he simply pulls you onto his lap. 

You lose yourself in the kiss, allowing all your anxiety to dissipate while you enjoy the safety Seungcheol provides. 

After a while, Seungcheol pulls away, and you’re both breathing heavily. 

“How… how do your knuckles feel?” you ask.

He laughs, looking down at his hands. “I might black out my fingers when this is all healed,” he admits. “I get into too many barfights. My grandma used to say it was the Leo in me.”

“The Leo in you?” you repeat, heard thumping wildly in your chest.

“Yeah, I uh…” he lets out a soft chuckle, “I didn’t wanna pressure you to come out or anything after I heard you were at a friend’s birthday party, but it’s sort of my birthday today.”

You’re frozen for a moment. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re a Leo,” you say again.

“Uh huh. You’re not about to tell me some weird zodiac rule about our signs not being compatible, are you?”

“No, it’s not that.” You take a deep breath. Just a short time ago, you’d decided not to tell him about the Elk tattoo meaning, and now here you are, about to tell him everything. 

You’re not sure if it’s the adrenaline from the bar situation, or the slight tipsyness, but you think fuck it, if he could tell you about his tarot loving grandmother, you can tell him about this.

“A few months ago, I did a reading,” you begin to explain.

“A tarot reading,” he clarifies.

“Yeah. And I asked my guides to show me a spirit animal card that would be a tattoo on the person I’m supposed to be with. The card came up as an Elk- and before you tell me it’s a very common tattoo, I know it is, which is why I asked for further clarification with them telling me the zodiac of this person too-”

“And they said Leo,” he breathes.

You nod. “Then, when I met you, the Elk lined up, but I still wasn’t sure, so I did another reading on us, and the Two of Cups came out, it’s a love card. So with those two cards, and now the fact that you’re a Leo-”

“Is this your way of telling me you think I’m your soulmate?” Seungcheol grins.

“God, I should have guessed you’re a fucking Leo,” you roll your eyes.

“Don’t be rude,” he tuts, gently pinching your hip. “If it’s any consolation, my grandmother always told me I’d end up with someone in the medical field, and you’re an ER nurse.”

“She really said that?” you ask.

“Uh huh.” Seungcheol’s gaze dips to your lips then back up again. “I wonder if she saw this future.”

Your heart melts. After your last relationship, where the lovebombing came on fast, you’d promised yourself not to get burned by that sort of thing again- but here you are, falling for Seungcheol way quicker than you ever have with anyone else in the past.

Even so, something about this feels so right.

You let out a breath. “One time with the Elk may have been coincidence. Two times with the Two of Cups card was a little odd. But three times with your Leo Zodiac-”

“I guess the question is, do you believe in fate?” Seungcheol moves closer.

“I think you know that I do,” you laugh.

Seungcheol’s hands squeeze your hips, and he doesn’t say anything else as he brings his mouth to yours.

You kiss him eagerly, wrapping your arms around him, pressing your chests together. His tongue glides against your own and it feels like magic- there’s a bulge growing in his pants, and you can’t help but begin to grind down against him.

Seungcheol releases a small groan and it’s music to your ears, prompting you to apply more pressure to his cock when you wriggle against him.

With a sigh, Seungcheol pulls away. “Baby,” he says softly, “you’ve been drinking and I don’t want to take advantage tonight-”

“I swear that whole situation with my ex sobered me up,” you admit. “Besides, maybe I want to give you a birthday present.” 

“A birthday present?” he repeats with a chuckle.

You nod. “Cheol, I haven’t even kissed anyone in months- I’m already practically drenched from making out, you won’t make me wait even longer, will you?”

He studies your face, and you can see the moment he folds. “We can do this, but at any point if I think you look drunk, we have to stop. I don’t want you to regret this being our first time.”

“I could never regret this,” you promise, leaning in to press your lips to his throat.

Seungcheol throws his head back, his fingers digging into your hips again. The low moan he releases tells you that he has a sensitive neck, and you enjoy simply teasing him for a minute while you mentally prep yourself for what’s to come next.

You do want to move on, and this is one of those steps.

You’re not afraid of it. You had been frightened about intimacy with someone new, but Seungcheol makes you feel more safe than you’ve ever felt in your life.

You want this. 

You shift a little on Seungcheol’s lap, reaching down to cup his cock with your palm. 

Seungcheol swallows thickly, his hands smoothing up and down your hips. “Are you sure?” he asks. “You don’t want me to take care of you?”

“It’s your birthday,” you point out. “And you took care of me at the bar, I think it’s my turn to show some appreciation.”

He doesn’t argue with you, and you can feel the tension leaving his shoulders. He lets out a deep breath. “I know it’s early,” he says, “but… if we do this, I don’t want any confusion. I want you to know that you’re mine, and I’m yours.”

“Honestly? I’ve been yours since practically the moment I saw you take your shirt off so I could clean your shoulder wound.”

Seungcheol releases a chuckle. “Really?”

“Uh huh, you make me fucking feral.”

He lets out a groan of appreciation. “It’s been hard to control myself too. That day at the studio, when you touched my back tattoo- I was so close to breaking. Wanted to throw you onto my desk and make you feel good.”

You imagine what that would have been like, and it makes you moan. “Why didn’t you?”

“I could tell you had a past, and I didn’t want to scare you off,” he admits. “I’ve been… trying to be a good boy.”

Your bad boy trying to be good to make you comfortable. You really hit the jackpot with Seungcheol.

“Cheol, I’ve told you I have a thing for bad boys,” you tease.

“So maybe I should take control right now,” he suggests with a grin.

“Let me suck you off, and then you can take control,” you tell him, pulling away. “I’m going to get on my knees now.”

Seungcheol watches you slip onto the floor infront of him, and your hands find his belt. You try to focus on your task of getting his pants off, but you enjoy sneaking glances at him, seeing his pretty face as he tries to keep composure.

He lifts his hips to help you tug his jeans down, and his cock slaps up against his lower abdomen, hard and already leaking.

He’s a decent size, somewhere between six and seven inches, and his cock is as girthy as the rest of him. You lick your lips, grabbing the base so you can adjust him toward your mouth as you lean in.

“No teasing,” Seungcheol warns, voice softening when he says, “please.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Liar,” he laughs, reaching out to stroke your head.

You slip the tip of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue. 

“And that’s the teasing I was talking about,” Seungcheol muses. “Feels good though.”

You sink further down onto him, beginning to suck as you move up and down.

“Fuck, that feels even better,” he groans.

When you were with your ex, blow jobs were an expectation, and because of that, you never really enjoyed them. There’s something powerful about doing this of your own volition, about making the conscious choice to pleasure Seungcheol.

You close your eyes, getting lost in the motion of providing this for him. Hallowing your cheeks, you suck hard when you’re near the tip, and Seungcheol groans loudly, shifting further down on the couch so you’re not bent over him in such an awkward position.

“You’re good at that, baby,” Seungcheol says. “But there’s only one birthday present I’d enjoy more than this.”

You let out a “hmm?” sound, an inquiry.

“When I’m balls deep in your pussy, watching you writhe under me, listening to your pretty sounds- that will be the cherry on top of this birthday,” he explains. “Thank you for wanting to make me feel good, but- usually, baby, I like to be the giver.”

Your pussy throbs at his words, and you increase your speed on his cock, letting out a moan of appreciation. 

“Yeah? You like that?” he asks. “Say the word, baby, and I’ll make it happen.”

You pull off of him, your hand smoothing up from base to tip to pump him while you address your beautiful dark protector. “I just want to make you feel good a little while longer.”

His expression softens. “Making me feel really good.”

You grin, returning to your task. 

Seungcheol’s hand is gentle in your hair. He caresses you while you suck him off, never applying pressure or trying to get you to deep throat him. It’s an ever constant, soft touch, and you’re shocked at how much of a gentleman this heavily tattooed, bar fighting, Leo can be. 

“Baby?” His voice draws you from your thoughts. “I know I said you could say the word and be done, but- this feels too good, and I don’t wanna bust the moment I begin to fuck you.”

You pull off of his cock with a pop, smiling up at him. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He lets out a shaky breath and grins. “Where’s your bedroom, gorgeous?”

“Right there.” You point at the door adjacent to the living room.

“Come on, baby, it’s my turn to take care of you.” He helps you to your feet, pulling his pants back up, and you’re shocked when he throws you over his uninjured shoulder, carrying you to your bedroom while you erupt in a fit of butterfly fueled giggles.

Seungcheol lays you softly onto your bed, staring down at you. He takes in your silky shirt and your dress pants, you like to be more classy when you go out, to keep up with your reputation as a nurse.

The two of you are very different people. He’s black ripped jeans, plain tshirts and tattoos. And you’re classy outfits, scrubs, and a healer’s touch. Somehow, even with these differences, the two of you work. Like Yin and Yang, complementary forces, light and dark.

“Can I take these off for you?” he asks, tugging at your pant leg.

You nod, watching the way he begins to undo your button and zipper. He’s slow with his motions, precise. It’s not a rush to get you naked, it’s an enjoyed exploration, and you love the way his eyes glow when you lift your hips to allow him to pull the fabric off your lower half.

“You’re so pretty,” Seungcheol muses.

“Yeah?”

“That day you were in my shop with your friend, doing a consult with Vernon- I was trying to act like I was watching my newest apprentice work, but… I kept looking at you. And then, outside the bar, when you showed up again-” Seungcheol shakes his head, his hand smoothing along your leg gently. “Baby, you’re going to turn me into a believer.”

“Invisible string theory, perhaps,” you grin.

Seungcheol chuckles. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

He takes off his own shirt, and you watch the way his muscles move under his skin. He’s littered in tattoos, patchwork on his arms and chest. There must be a hundred small to medium sized tattoos, and you want to know the story behind each and every one.

But there’s a time and a place for that, and right now, you’re eager for something else.

Seungcheol gets on top of you, and you immediately thread your fingers through his soft dark hair, pulling his lips to your own.

Your free hand explores his muscular shoulders, careful of the bandage still on his bar wound, and you’re practically tingling with how attracted you are to this man.

He kisses you deeply, cupping your face while his other hand braces him to the bed over top of you.

Your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him closer, and he grinds against your panty clad core.

The pressure on your clit has you moaning, and Seungcheol responds by kissing down your throat. He licks at your collarbone, and then his hand moves from your cheek to your shirt. “Can I take this off?” he asks.

“Uh huh, there’s a tie at the back.”

Seungcheol pulls off of you, and in one motion, he flips you onto your stomach. His warm hand smooths over your shoulder, toying with the tie there.

You hold your breath in anticipation as he begins to undo the corset style back of your slinky top. He leans over you, pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck that makes your body erupt in goosebumps. 

You enjoy the way he takes his time with your shirt, and he slowly helps you slip it off. You’re laying flat on his bed, your tits pressed to the comforter, while Seungcheol explores your back with his hands. He traces the curvature of your sides, pressing kisses along your spine. Soft curls tickle your skin, and you’re grinning like the Cheshire Cat at how good this feels.

Seungcheol flips you over again, and his gaze dips to your exposed breasts. “You’re so pretty,” he muses, gently groping your chest, his thumb grazing over your nipple. You watch him swallow thickly, and then he’s leaning over, taking the sensitive bud in his mouth while you tangle your fingers in his curls again.

With his mouth on your breast, his free hand slips down your body, and he tugs your panties down just enough for him to access your core.

Two digits rub between your pussy lips and you feel him smile against your nipple. “You weren’t lying about being wet, baby.”

“Would never lie to you,” you breathe out shakily.

“No?” He circles your clit and you moan loudly. 

“Never,” you repeat, pushing your hips up toward his hand, needing more friction.

Seungcheol rewards you by slipping both of his digits into your wet core, pressing his palm to your clit as he begins to finger fuck you. He sucks on your breast while he does this, and you’re lost in the sensations he provides.

“Fuck, Cheol-” you whimper when his teeth graze your nipple, your pussy clenching tight around his fingers.

“Wanna make you cum,” Seungcheol says, pulling away from your breast to look down at you.

“Then make me cum,” you respond, nodding at him.

Seungcheol presses one last kiss to your lips and then he shifts down the bed, pulling his fingers from your core. He gets onto his knees at the foot of the mattress, dragging you toward himself and pulling your panties off.

He spreads your thighs. “So pretty,” he muses. “Everything about you is so fucking pretty.”

Your skin heats, it can be hard to take a compliment, but something tells you that Seungcheol will get you used to this kind of praise.

He leans forward, eyes meeting yours as he presses a kiss to your clit. You jolt at the small contact, releasing a shaky breath.

No one has eaten you out in months, and your core is already throbbing with anticipation. 

“Gonna take care of you,” Seungcheol promises, and you know that this promise extends far past the sexual setting you’re in right now.

He moves forward again, capturing your clit in his mouth while his digits easily slip into your pussy again.

You throw your head back, enjoying the sensation of him worshiping your cunt. He’s gentle with his motions at first, kitten licking your sensitive bud. You know he’s getting used to your sounds, figuring out what pressure works, what you enjoy, whether thats sucking, or more gentle stimulus.

“Feels good,” you tell him. “Like the way you crook your fingers.”

He responds by applying more pressure to the ‘come hither’ motion he’s making, and you release a whine at how good it feels.

“Just like that,” you whimper.

He sucks your clit harder too, and you moan louder, hips bucking toward his face.

Seungcheol’s free hand finds your lower abdomen and he pins you to his bed, keeping you still while he works on your pussy.

You can feel your walls clenching around him, and Seungcheol releases a groan of pleasure. It adds to your own feeling of euphoria that clearly he’s enjoying this. He hadn’t been lying when he said he’s usually a giver, and the fact that he doesn’t see this as a chore has you able to enjoy it fully, unlike certain past experiences where men had to be begged into eating you out.

Sex with Seungcheol - even foreplay like this - feels so natural. You’re not as in your head as you usually are, with his nonverbal communications and moans, you can be certain he’s enjoying this as much as you are, and it gives you the confidence to give yourself over completely to the pleasure.

Sex should always be like this, you realize.

There’s no pressure, no worrisome thoughts, it’s just two souls connecting physically in a way that’s mutually beneficial. 

Having not been eaten out in a long time, it’s not surprising that you’re extremely sensitive, and Seungcheol works you all the way to the edge before you can even comprehend what’s happening.

“Cheol-” you whimper, threading your fingers in his hair, “I’m gonna-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence, he sucks harshly on your clit, and your words become moans as your orgasm surges through you.

His hand on your abdomen keeps you steady as he works you through your high, sucking on your clit until your legs are shaking on his broad shoulders.

Seungcheol pulls away, and you open your eyes to watch him wipe the back of his mouth, licking his fingers clean. 

“Still want this?” he asks, hooking his fingers in the waistband of his jeans.

“More than anything,” you smile.

A moment later, Seungcheol is as naked as you are, and he gets between your thighs again, lips returning to your own. He doesn’t immediately slip his cock into you, instead, he grinds against your core, teasing your sensitive clit and driving you wild.

You kiss him eagerly, threading your fingers through his hair and groping his muscular shoulders, enjoying the feeling of him despite the need growing inside of you.

You’re reminded again that there’s no rush.

You can take pleasure in this without feeling like you need to be getting fucked to be worth something.

You’re a hundred percent sure that if you’d told Seungcheol you’re not ready for sex, he would have stopped, cuddled you, and not taken it personally. There’s this feeling that Seungcheol is going to be around for a long time- and as crazy as it is with how short of a time you’ve known him, you know that your connection runs deeper than your physical attraction.

Seungcheol shifts slightly, grabbing at his cock. You bite at your lip while you wait for him to line it up with your core, and you break your kiss, panting. Your eyes meet as he slips the head of his length into your wet hole, and you both groan at the feeling.

“Fuck,” Seungcheol moans, sinking in inch by inch. “You feel so fucking good.” 

“You feel better,” you retort, kissing his cheek and nuzzling his nose.

“Impossible,” he grins, burying his face in your throat as he begins to fuck you.

You claw at his shoulders, crying out with each thrust. He fills you so well- he has probably one of the biggest cocks you’ve ever taken, and the way he stretches you out is like heaven, like he was made to be in your pussy.

The sounds he’s making are unlike any other pleasured noises you’ve ever heard.

Nothing has ever felt this right.

Seungcheol’s uninjured hand finds your own, and he laces your fingers, squeezing you reassuringly as he fucks you harder, his speed increasing.

His lips are hot on your neck, and it feels delightful. You love just laying back and taking everything he’s giving you. He’s so big, like a warm, weighted blanket covering your form.

Your toes are already curling at how deep he’s hitting, and your thighs shake desperately around his hips.

“Cheol-”

“Yes, baby?” he asks.

“You just- fuck, this feels so good-”

“You deserve to feel good,” Seungcheol tells you. “You work so hard for others, I’m lucky I get to be the guy working for you.”

Your heart swells at his words. Past boyfriends’ haven't ever truly appreciated how hard it is to be an emergency room nurse. You spend your whole shift taking care of others, and that high pressure, intense mentality bleeds into your personal life. It's a sweet relief to be the one on the receiving end, to relax and know that you can fully give yourself up to the pleasure and desire you feel, without feeling obligated to return this favour with future sexual gratifications.

Seungcheol’s lips meet your own, and you get lost in him, moaning desperately as he works your pussy open.

His thrusts slow, and he stays completely still inside of you for a moment, then pulls away.

“Can you shift onto your side for me?” he asks. “One leg straight on the bed, the other thigh pulled closer to your chest.”

It’s a position you’ve never tried before, but you trust Seungcheol, and you’re quick to adjust. You lay half on your side, one leg stretched between his knees while you bring your other toward your breasts. 

Seungcheol’s warm hand finds your thigh, and he helps bend you, his free hand guiding his cock to your pussy again.

When he pushes in this time, it feels even deeper, and you let out a squeak at the stimulation.

“You like that?” he asks, hand moving from your thigh to your breast, where he gently pinches your nipple.

“So deep- I feel so full-” you whimper.

Seungcheol only grins, and he’s an absolute vision in this position. He’s practically on his knees, and his chest is all exposed and gorgeous. His tattoos are beautiful as he massages your breast with one hand, the other on your thigh, anchoring you while he fucks you.

You’re not sure if it’s the sideways angle or what, but he’s hitting a spot that has your toes curling tight, your pussy clenching.

“Fuck-” you moan.

“Shit, I should have asked this before-” Seungcheol says, voice shaky, “do I need to pull out or-”

“I’m on birth control,” you assure him. “You can cum inside.”

“Fuck,” Seungcheol groans, rutting into you even harder. 

“Kinda want you to fill me up,” you admit.

“You’re way too sexy, baby, holy shit-”

You can tell your words are doing a number on him, and it makes your core throb with pleasure.

“Can you rub your clit?” he asks. “Want you to cum with me. I hate cumming alone.”

“Yeah.” Your hand slips between your thighs awkwardly, and Seungcheol decreases his pace  to give you a chance to catch up to his pleasure.

His movements are slower now, more precise, his cock hitting that spot deep inside that has you crying out again.

“You look so good like this,” Seungcheol tells you. “My pretty little nurse.”

For some reason, his words just do something to you, and your core throbs even harder. “Cheol, I’m close-” you warn him,

“Tell me when you’re almost there and I’ll go fast again.”

You focus on the sight of him, on the tattoos and muscles, his strong features and the pretty dark curls. His small groans egg you on, and you’re at the edge in no time, giving him a nod. “Okay-”

He releases your breast, using both hands on your leg now to steady himself as he fucks you stupid, your whole body jolting with each motion. You let out a desperate whine, rubbing your clit even harder-

“Fuck, fuck-” Seungcheol groans. “Feels so fucking good- fuck, cum with me, baby, cum with me-”

You moan in response, your core clenching down desperately on his cock as your orgasm explodes through you. Your whole body shivers with endorphins, heart racing in your chest.

Seungcheol throws his head back, releasing an extremely sexy groan as he cums with you, fingers digging into your skin as he thrusts slowly and deeply, working you through your orgasms.

You rub your clit until you can’t take it anymore, tearing your hand away.

Seungcheol slumps forward, stilling completely, and you greedily grab at his shoulders. He collapses half on top of you, and you thread your fingers through his hair, panting hard.

His forehead rests against your own, and you both just try to catch your breath.

You’ve never felt connected to someone the way you feel connected to Seungcheol in this moment. It’s all consuming, and it makes you emotional as you come down from your high.

Seungcheol must notice your shaky breathing because he opens his eyes and looks at you. “You okay, baby?”

“I’m just-” you swallow thickly. “I don’t know-”

You can’t voice it, can’t voice the way you’re feeling. There are so many thoughts swirling around in your head, so many past traumas rearing their ugly faces and making you second guess yourself-

“I’m yours, and you’re mine,” Seungcheol breathes, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

And just like that, he can clear all of your anxieties, as if he was able to read your mind and see your fears. 

You’ve always been drawn to bad boys, to men who you envision as some kind of dark protector- and now, you think you’ve finally found the right one. 

☀️ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! this fic is written in conjunction to my other story 'crossroads,' read more about Mingyu, Wonwoo, and their y/n here

🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 

🔮 preview. Seungcheol’s thrusts get faster, and he rests his forehead against your spine while he rails you into the blow up mattress at a campsite where anyone could walk by. His baby fever is at an all time high, and he’s fucking you like a man who means every word he’s saying.

cw/ tw.  Unprotected sex, sex in a campsite, exhibitionism, staying quiet during sex, pussy eating, fingering, large/muscled/tattooed Cheol, quickie, baby fever, dirty talk, breeding kink, praise, breast worship, etc…

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.6k I teaser wc. 180

🌙 starring. Choi Seungcheol x afab!Reader

 bonus

It’s been just under a year since you started dating Seungcheol, and through him, you’ve found a family. Many trivia nights, and bowling excursions have been spent with Seungcheol, his friends, Sunmi, her sister, and her sister’s boyfriend Jeonghan. Once you’d met everyone face to face, it had been much easier to track Sunmi’s convoluted explanation of her connection to the tattoo parlour, and it’s been a joy to become so close with so many wonderful people.

Sunmi’s sister’s boyfriend, Jeonghan, is cousins with Mingyu and Wonwoo’s girlfriend, who’d had a beautiful baby girl this past January, and now, it’s the baby’s first summer. You don’t mind the shift of hang outs to be more baby inclusive, and now, you find yourself at a campsite with the whole gang.

While everyone is quite enamored with the little baby girl, Haesoo, no one is more obsessed than your boyfriend Seungcheol. You always get to see him coddling her while out and about as a group, but in the past three days at this campsite, you’ve contracted a serious case of baby fever.

☀️ to read the full fic AND 2.6k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here

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[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Ohhh, what if human reader brought Sally some human movies and she decides to host a movie night to see human cinema?

Went a little crazy with this one!

If you like my work, please consider commissioning me or leaving a tip on Ko-fi (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Movie night

★ You had to order the films through mail. Receiving a nice stack of VHS tapes. Some were classics. Some were newer films you don't remember being released on the format. But you don't question it. Instead you spent a whole day re-watching shows and movies you haven't seen in months. Maybe years!

★ Nobody bothered you until late in the afternoon. With a knock at the door pulling you away from the television. Sally stood past the doorframe. Arms crossed and clearly unimpressed. "Neighbor! What have you been doing? You were supposed to be at my abode ten minuets ago!"

★ Scrambling to explain, you gesture to the stack of tapes. And apologize for losing track of time "Would you like to join? I have snacks!" She considers the offer, silently thinking. Before opening her mouth to speak. "Well, I suppose, sense I'm already off schedule..."

★ If you were willing to spend a whole day watching these tapes, then they must be worth it. She thinks. And just like that Sally takes a spot on the couch. Watching as you press rewind to start from the beginning.

★ Unsurprisingly, Sally falls in love with the musicals. The grand performances and scores will linger in her mind for weeks. However, her favorite movie is The Last Unicorn. The unicorns journey really resonated with her. And the bittersweet ending nearly made her cry.

★ Mary Poppins comes in as a close second. And it’s easy to see why. The whimsical magic and charming musical numbers make it a film Sally cant help but adore. She hums along to the songs as best as she can. Even though she doesn't know the words.

★ Hide the horror movies from her. She's good enough at telling scary stories. No need to give her inspiration. If she got her hands on something you find scary, it could mean the end of sleep for Eddie.

★ She ends up hating sci-fi movies with overly complicated plots. If most of the screen time is spent on explaining and world building, she loses interest. Sally wants action! Character struggles! And easily digestible storylines! Not a ten minuet scene explaining time travel.

[thebadwritingofvivziepop]

"But what about this and that?!"

Ok, so, every time people tell their discomfort about those merchandize, the stans are like "oh, but what about the Darth Vader merch? Why aren't you complaining about that?! How about Disney Villains merch?!"

This is gonna be very delicate to talk about it so read it very slowly and carefully because I'll probably point out a lot of things.

First of all, Darth Vader wasn't created as a character to spread awareness about "toxic parents" or "bad people", he was written as an antagonist.

This is because you already know what's good and bad.

Killing children? Of course it's awful

Manipulating your son? You already know it's bad

You don't need the movie to tell you that, because you're not watching Star Wars to be educated, you watch a journey of Luke Skywalker and all the difficulties he has to endure.

Not to mention that Darth Vader is more forgiving as a villain because he does redeem himself in the end.

Darth Vader was beloved by the fans because of how is written, and also James Earl Jones really did a great job at voicing him.

But people don't love Darth Vader because they want to be like him, they love him for who he is as an antagonist, of course, that means that having an action figure of him would be cool.

If Darth Vader was created with the intention of spreading some social awareness, the fans would hardly liked him and probably his merch wouldn't be sold.

Pretty much the same goes for characters like Griffith from Berserk.

For those who don't know Berserk, let me warn you with this: is a very violent and disturbing manga, so, even if I consider it good, I wouldn't easily recommend to everyone (but I'll probably mention it a lot).

Griffith is even worse than Darth Vader because he has no redeeming qualities (he sacrifice his own comrades to make his dreams come true and rapes Caska in front of Guts out of spite), but for the way he was written, he's fascinating.

You don't need the manga to tell you that what he's doing is wrong because you already know it's wrong (because you're mature enough to know), but knowing his Machiavellian logic about why he does what he does disturbs you. It makes you hate Griffith but also admire and fear him (and there are plenty of great villains like him, but that would be for another post)

Even Griffith has his merch, but only action figures, which is just regular merch if we want to tell it that way.

There is no merch about him that are about "following your dreams" or something like that, you buy his small figures because you like Berserk and you like this character (for how is written, not because you think that what he did was right)

Merchandize is about collection after all

This is different from the Pride merch of Valentino.

The episode of Valentino and Angel Dust was written with the intention of spreading awareness of toxic relationships, sexual assault and the dangerous environment of the porn industry...or at least that seemed to be the idea (but I'll talk about that episode in another post).

Outside of how Valentino is badly written as a villain (he keeps going back and forth between intimidating and goofy), his character is portrayed as a vile, possessive and violent towards Angel Dust and clearly unredeemable

Sadly, we all know that Vivzie doesn't have self awareness nor moral compass.

I'm getting mixed messages, is that even normal?

Making merch, especially for the pride month or Valentine's day, about a character who was written to spread awareness is absolutely disgusting and shows that she and her staff didn't take this character seriously at all (and as a result not even the fans did)

I'm not part of the LGBT community, but I felt sorry for the people of that community to be associated with that guy!

It's like creating a merch for Patrick's Day and using the picture of Gerry Hutch or, even worse, making merch for the October Fest and using the pictures of Hitler.

Ok, Valentino is a fictional character, unlike the other two I mentioned, but you got my point.

If Val wasn't created with the intention of spreading awareness, maybe there wouldn't be any problem with regular merch, but for Pride Month? Just…why?!

How didn't cross her mind that it was a bad idea?

EDIT: I've made a mistake, the Valentine's Day keychain wasn't made by Vivziepop but a fan of hers. I just want to clarify this for the future.

[totaly-obsessed]

The Weight of Expectations

Alexia Putellas x reader

-> Happy Birthday to my darling @greynatomy, love ya!

-> Alexia struggles through the IVF journey and turns mean

-> Talk of pregnancy, alcohol and abuse

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“¡No puedes hablar en serio!”

Oh. Alexia was home, something new. You were currently in the bathroom closest to the bedroom, heaving up anything that you had eaten, even the light soup. 

For a couple of days, you had been like this, and two days ago you had finally done a test. A pregnancy test. This was the last IVF round before Ale and you had to start considering other options like adoption. The first 2 rounds had failed.

Positive. The goddamn test was finally positive.

Immediately you had made an appointment for a blood test to get done. You just had to be sure before telling Alexia. The blonde already blamed herself, thinking she had waited for too long, hesitant to have a child while in the midst of her career before she finally committed to it.

You had been so incredibly happy when she came to you after a game. Tears streamed down your face when she told you that she was ready to have a child. With you.

The disappointment of two failed attempts weighed heavily on Alexia. She desperately tried to console you as you cried, hiding her own tears in her pillow when you finally passed out. How could she be sad when you had to go through the physical aspect as well?

She shouldn't have waited that long, maybe 29 was too old.

After that things changed. She had left for Spain camp, and after that, she threw herself back into work in Barcelona. Her surgery was healing well and she was getting better and better by the day.

Meanwhile, you were sat at home, trying to understand the change in your wife. Did you do something wrong? With the previous tries the footballer had been so involved, checking in on you multiple times a day when she was at training. 

And now? Nothing.

Alone you had gone to the blood test yesterday, not even needing an explanation for your wife, who came home after you had gone to bed and left before you woke up.

Eight Weeks. You were already two months along. In Alexia's absence, you had completely forgotten to test, wanting to do it with her.

As soon as you had gotten the confirmation, the morning sickness hit ten times harder. Who even decided to call it that? Morning sickness… What a stupid fucking name. The whole day was filled with sudden cramps and vomiting.

And you had done it all alone until now. 

But Alexia was here now, yelling in the kitchen, before she stomped up the stairs to the bathroom, looking into every door available on her way. She was looking for you.

She hesitated for a second, seeing you crouched on the floor, head over the toilet, and pale as the white wall behind you.

“¡No puedes hablar en serio!”, she yelled again, now in your face.

“I am serious Ale, what's up?”

This was the first time you had seen her in a couple of days, her roots were starting to show, as did the bags under her eyes. But the rest of her body looked stronger than ever, the countless hours in the gym paying off.

“The kitchen is a mess, you didn’t do the laundry and you didn't mop the floors either. Look how filthy it is in this house!”

Wow.

You didn't know what you had been expecting. But definitely not this.

With slow movements you pushed yourself up, using the sink to help balance yourself. Fuck were you dizzy.

“W- What did you mean?” You hated how meek your voice sounded after your wife practically yelled at you.

Her face was red, and her eyes looked like she had been bitten by the devil, spit gathering at the corners of her mouth.

Crazy. She looked really fucking crazy, and it was terrifying.

“¿En serio?”

“Let’s just go downstairs, I made dinner and we can talk about it.” 

With a scoff the blonde turned on the spot, stomping down the stairs, leaving you in the bathroom. Tears threatened to fall. What has happened?

With your nausea, it took you a bit longer to navigate the stairs. Every step hurt, but Alexia couldn’t care less about your pain-filled noises. She was busy stabbing a fork into her dinner, already scarfing a plate of your favorite pasta dish down.

“Finally. God, you always take so long.”

The words were filled with hate as she spat them at you, not even noticing that a bit of the sauce was flung onto her cheeks. 

You couldn’t help but smile a bit, she had never managed to eat without making a mess of herself and the table. With a damp cloth, you tried to wipe the spot away, but when she hit your hand away from her, the cloth sailed to the floor as you looked at her. Eyes wide in panic.

“I am not your goddamn child. I can take care of myself.”

Your wives' usually warm eyes pierced your heart even more. Was this really the same woman who would carry you to bed every night, even after grueling training and rehab sessions?

The tears you had breathed away were back, a painful sensation in your eyes as Alexia continued to devour the meal you had prepared with so much excitement to tell her as if it didn't mean anything.

“This tastes like shit. Not even good for cooking.” She threw the fork on the plate, the clattering sound ripping you out of your shock-induced trance. “Do you want me to make you something different?

Your wife looked terrifying. Her eyes were wide open with small pupils that moved around quickly, looking you up and down before making their way through the house. The rest of her face was stoic, a facade she had perfected over the years. One that she didn’t usually use with you.

“No. I don’t want new food. I want you to get yourself together.”

The room filled with a heavy silence that nearly made you gasp for air. What did she mean?

“Amore I don’t know what has gotten into you, but maybe we should just go for a quick walk? Get some fresh air?”

That was the final nail in the coffin for the footballer, who stood up with such force, that the chair slid back and toppled over with a startling noise.

“Fresh air? You want fresh air?” She was getting in your face now, hunching a little to really get close. “Do you know what I want?”

Her breath was warm as it hit your nose.

Alcohol. You could smell alcohol.

She was a mean drunk, snapping at anyone who dared to get too close to her, her dog, or you. But just like her stern face, you were usually safe from her drunken attitude. Your wife always pushed you behind her as soon as anything looked like trouble.

This was new and you hated it.

“What do you want Ale?”

the defender had emptied your cup of coffee in one go, slamming the mug down on the counter.

“What do I want? I a housewife that can actually do her fucking job!” She was yelling now, some of the words accentuated with harsh hand movements and slight pushes to your shoulders.

“And look at how you let yourself go. Fucking pathetic! How can I even show myself in public with you?”

Shit that hurt.

You were finally pregnant with a very much wanted child, and she acted like this after leaving you alone for such a long time.

“Gained so much weight it’s-”

“I’m pregnant.”

You didn't yell. You didn’t shout. You said it with a normal voice. Well as normal as you could with tears threatening to spill.

But it was enough to quiet the drunk blonde. 

“Pregnant? You’re pregnant?”

It felt as if she was looking at you for the first time when her eyes softened and her whole body slumped. She fucked up. And she knew it.

In a frenzy you started packing things, throwing stuff into a suitcase while your wife tried to stop you. “Where are you going? Amore, please! I am so sorry!”

But it was too late.

With a suitcase and Alexia’s car, you made your way to Eli’s house, you had no one in Spain, all your family back home, so you decided to turn to your wife's mother who loved you to no end and had spent a lot of time at your house while Alexias had been ‘busy’ the last few weeks.

Alexia watched as you left. You were pregnant with a child that she wanted so badly, and she fucked it up.

Tomorrow she will make up for it. She really will.

[seriesxwriting]

Hi. Can you do a part 2 of when the reader ran away while being pregnant with Damon's baby please.

Im sorry it’s taken me so long to write this, im at the end of my uni year and im swamped with work!! I hope you enjoy <333

Second chances- The second

Second chances- ONE (you don’t have to read number one first but it will help your understanding)

Paring- Damon Salvatore X Female reader

Series- vampire diaries

Summary- Damon wonders if his fiancé will ever come back, and worries about the safety of his own child in the hands of a human.

Warnings- Fighting, death, mentions of blood.

“What do I do?” Damon asked looking up at this brother. Stefan was taken back for a moment. He stood in front of the man who had never asked him for help before, analysing his face. Trying to read some sort of emotion. “Damon I- I don’t know” he answered, ashamed that the one time his brother needed him he couldn’t help him.

Damon didn’t appear to be showing any emotion. He put the letter down on the table and then wondered over to the bourbon on the side. He poured himself a drink and downed it in the same hand motion before pouring himself another one. “Damon I think you need to go after her” Stefan said making his way over to his brother.

“Me too” he replied nodding his head. “But I don’t know how to find her- I don’t know where she’d go in a world like this”. Stefan hummed in agreement and thought to himself for a moment. “We should ask Bonnie to do a locator spell” he replied. “Mmh” Damon sipped his drink looking out the window. “You don’t sound very confident”.

Damon shrugged his shoulders “I think she’s too smart for that brother” "Too smart? what does she know of this world Damon- of our world". He thought for a second glazing over the drink in his hand. "Let's just call Bonnie" he nodded his head trying to see a glimmer of hope.

"On it" Stefan replied leaving the conversation to go and find his phone. It didn't take long until Bonnie was stood on their doorstep and the brothers welcomed her in. "I'm so sorry Damon- I don't even have the words" she breathed placing her bag on their sofa. "Maybe I deserve it, you don't know what I was like back then Bon Bon" he gave her a weak smile.

"I assume i'm glad I didn't- but no one deserves to have no contact with their child- especially considering you didn't think you'd ever have one" she reached out and stroked his arm in comfort. "Let's find them for you", Damon took a deep breath in. He wanted to believe it was possible, but he had a gut feeling the spell wasn't going to work.

Damon passed Bonnie some old clothes that belonged to the mother of his child and she used them in the spell. Her eyes closed and hands ascended while she muttered the words of the spell. But as Damon expected nothing happen, Bonnie tied again and again to get the blood to move but received nothing but disappointment. Stefan looked to Damon in shock of his correct instinct.

"Her father has suspicions of Katherine- of the rest of them, I believe he put something in place to hide her from us" Damon muttered to them and the let out a deep sigh. "I see" Stefan swallowed not knowing what to do now. "Ive never seen anything like this" Bonnie slumped taking a step back from the failed spell. "She is no ordinary woman, I always recognised that".

"Well what do we do now?" she looked up to her friend sympathetically. "I might take a drive around, see if she's gone back to the crypt or her old house in mystic falls" "is it still there?" Bonnie frowned at the disbelief. "It is, but is now a museum" he bit his lip knowing how upset his fiancé would be to see that.

"I'll come with you brother" Stefan offered but Damon shook his head. "I need to be alone, I need to do this on my own- I hope you understand" he told them both before bowing his head and leaving them both standing beside the table. He headed for his car to begin his journey. But was not successful by any means.

Ten months later:

Stefan and Damon sat on their sofas surrounded by their friends, Bonnie, Elena, Caroline, Jeramy and Alaric sat with them laughing and making chitter chatter. "Damon- why are you so glum today" Elena called out across the sofas. He left his daydream retiring to reality and looked at her straight for a moment. "Somewhere out there I have a one month old son or daughter that I can't find and will probably never meet".

"Well when you put it like that" Jeramy raised an eyebrow and looked to the floor. "We will find them Damon" Stefan encouraged with a smile but his older brother didn't feel the same way. "And I would have missed everything" he told them all, with that he stood up. "I'm going to lie down for a bit" he presented, braking all his friends hearts as they count do anything to help him.

In that moment a desperate pound on the door filled the house. Damon 's eyebrows raised and he looked to Stefan to see his reaction. "Hold that thought brother" he stated joining Damon stood up. They both headed towards the door to find out who the sister knocker was.

"Damon" I cried seeing the door finally open, id been here 30seconds but it felt like I was knocking for eternity. "Y/N" he blinked in complete surprise. He analysed me, noticing my red raw eyes and wet face, my muddy and ripped dress, my shoes covered in grass and leaves with big gaping holes. "Are you okay" he questioned taking a step outside.

Everything he'd done to me in that moment was forgotten. I didn't care about none of it. Right now the comfort of his arms around my body was exactly what I needed. "No" I answered breaking down in his neck, shaking my head. "No i'm not okay- I need you Damon" I sobbed grabbing on him tightly.

"Y/N- what's happened tell us" Stefan begged, both of their minds had gone to the worst seems I was no longer pregnant and my little baby was not in my arms. "I was ambushed- I was visiting a friend- a witch- and when I entered her house she was dead on the floor- then they all came out" I exclaimed pulling away from Damons neck but not out of his grasp.

"There was so many of them- they came from thin air- they took her Damon please, please help me get her back" I hysterically begged while my eyes leaked more tears. "Her?" he asked taking a second to swallow the new information. "She's gorgeous Damon- she looks just like us, she has my hair, she has your eyes- I was so glad to see she had your eyes" I told him feeling his grip on me tighten and his eyes light up.

"I ran so far- so fast through the woods with her so close to my chest, but the vampires were faster than my mundane legs" I told him trying to gain my normal breathing. "We will get her back Y/N- I promise, we will go back to the site it happened, will you led the way". I nodded my head a multitude of times. "Of course".

"We're coming" Bonnie appeared with the rest of the group behind her. "We won't fail". "Thank you- thank you all of you" I muttered holding onto Damons wrist for stability and comfort. "Let's go" he wrapped an arm around my waist. "Stefan- go with rick" Damon nodded widening his eyes as if talking in some code, which he was. Stefan nodded obeying his older brother and Damon took me and him over to his car.

He strapped me in as I wiped my face and then vamp ran to the other side and we were soon on the move with the other two cars following closely behind. I laid my head against the window and Damon put a hand on my leg rubbing his thumb across it sweetly. "We will find her" "I know..." I replied in a low tone "That's why I came to you". He squeezed my leg and then carried on rubbing his thumb against it.

"I was coming back to you you know" I told him with no eye contact. "I was going to say goodbye to my friend and come back to you". Damon didn't say anything but I did see a smile cross his lips. "I realised that I hurt you Damon, and I also realised that I owe you a second chance and that it would be unfair to keep you away from your child" I told him.

"I appreciate that Y/N, I will be the best father I can possibly be- and if you allow me to be, the best partner you could possibly have" He told me looking across at me. "You still want me? Even though I left?" I blinked taken back in surprise. "I did a lot worse babe- and here you are", he gave me a sympathetic smile. I placed my hand onto of his and gently squeezed it.

"Left here" I pointed keeping him in the loop directions wise. "When it happened all I could think about is how you never would have let this happen- how she's safer with you and how I am too" "Protection is most important to me, I will always ensure your safety and our daughters" he reassured me keeping his eyes n he road now. "W-whats her name?".

I let out a small giggle to myself, "I haven't named her Damon- ive just been calling her mini me, as soon as I gave birth I realised I wish you had been holding my hand, I wish id seen your face when you saw her for the first time and- most of all I wish you were there to help me name her" I told him truthfully, feeling my eyes get teary.

"I'm glad" he answered, getting teary himself. "Another left" I told him quietly. There was a few moments of silence before Damon said "I'm so sorry Y/n- seeing how strong you are- the woman you've become in this world, I hate what I did to you- how I put you down, hurt you". "When you get our daughter back- everything is forgiven- it'll be behind is forever I won't mention it for the rest of our lives- my life" I blinked taking in the realisation that he was going to live a lot longer than I was.

"Well- it looks like we're almost there" he stated turning down a long road. past a gate that stood wide open. We were now surrounded by forest, secluded. "This scene- its from a horror tape Damon" I warned him as the car came to a stop. "I can assure you y/n- i've properly created worse single handily" he lifted an eyebrow. But him saying that didn't scare me anymore- it kinda just made him more attractive. It made me feel more safe, knowing he could protect me.

Everyone stepped out of the cars and huddled round, staring down the house. "Y/N says its bad in there, just ignore the mess and look for any clues, we know they're vampires- we just need to know who" Damon told them, I saw them all nod their heads. Most of us went inside the house, but I noticed Elena and Jeramy began looking outside.

I hitched my breath seeing my dead friend sprawled across the floor, covered in ruby red blood. Damons arm snaked round my waist and I huddled up to him. "I'm sorry about your friend Y/N" he whispered kissing me on the head. "Me too- it cannot be nice to see" Stefan came in front of me blocking the view of her. "Do you want to run us through what happened?" Alaric asked me gently.

"Well the taxi dropped me off in front of the house, the gate was already swinging open in the wind, as well as the front door- I held my baby close to my chest and opened the door with my shoulder" I explained looking to the door. "I saw Annette on the floor first of all in my first step- I wanted to help her but I knew I needed to get the baby away from this crime".

"So you left?" Damon questioned rubbing my arm up and down. "I tried to, a man vamped past me and then I heard the door slam shut- then they started peeling in front of me out of their hiding places- I began to run that way as Annette has a back door" I pointed towards it and Bonnie headed that way without hesitation. "And you made it out" Stefan nodded along with my story. "Barely" I breathed thinking back to it.

"I slammed he door closed and ran as fast as I could east, I knew that Annette had traps around her garden for exactly this- I hoped they would trigger one but they caught up with me pretty fast- snatched her from my arms and beat me into the ground".

"I don't know why they didn't kill me" I blinked into thin air. "We will find out everything you want to know Y/N" Stefan nodded seriously, and then walked away from us to take a look at Annette. Damon let go of me to go and do his own searching, my skin crawled with the blood all around.

"Damon" Stan called out dangerously. He turned and walked over at his brother's hand request. "What?" I asked as I saw Damons face tense up as he saw the symbol they'd left on the witches back. "It's vampires alright- that I have a long history with" "How long?" I blinked crossing my arms around my waist. "They were a little group Katherine ran with- they must have recognised you and planned an ambush".

There was loud foot steps running across the decking, I turned around frozen in fear that they were back. Damon vamp ran in front of me in an instant and my heart relaxed a little knowing he was here. The door swing open wide and Jeramy and Elena stood in front of us panting. "We don't know who they are- but we found them" he breathed holding his hands on his knees.

"Here? in this forest?" I asked blinking my eyes trying to take in how many times id been here unknowingly. "Yes there's a log cabin a while that way- jer followed the trail they left- we could hear a baby crying coming from inside" Elena told them. The two brothers looked at each other. "Stefan, Bonnie and rick you guys come with me, jeramy you'll show us the way, Elena- get in the car with Y/N and lock the doors- get in the back so you can't bee seen- this won't take long".

My heart skipped a beat- I was worried for Damon- I was worried for my little girl, I wanted to go but I knew I wasn't going to be of much help. "Okay" I nodded, submerging all my feelings. Elena smiled at me putting her hand out. I turned to Damon kissing him on the cheek "Bring her home Damon" I whispered in his ear before turning away, he grabbed my hand spinning me back and pulled me in for a kiss.

I could tell in the way that he kissed me that things were different between us, he kissed me differently this time. I never thought things would be like this between us. I kissed him back, hard, there was so much emotion behind it. "I'll bring her back to you babe, and we will finally be a family" he whispered kissing my forehead and then swiftly leaving the house. Elena outstretched her hand to me again.

I took it giving her a weak smile and like Damon ordered we went to the car. "Im glad you came back- seeing Damon so glum ate away at me" she whispered softly to me. "I know I made the right decision coming back" I older lowly, looking out the windows from our hiding positions as best I could. "You did- he has changed and he does want a life with you and your daughter" she told me gently.

"It's- nice to hear" I smiled back at her, feeling my eyes tear up. "Honestly- we will all be here to help you, you'll be part of a bigger family too, you and your baby". "Thank you- for being so welcoming- and understand" I whispered to her, feeling warm inside. It wasn't much longer until I heard Damon calling out my name, and Stefan doing the same for Elena.

I rose up in the car and saw a sight I will never forget. Damons hands, covered in blood, his mouth dripping too. But oh- his top had been ripped down the front and it hung loosely exposing his torso. Close to his chest he held our tiny daughter in his blood soaked hands. I watched him walk in slow motion towards the car looking down at her little eyes. She knew that was her daddy.

He looked up again and his face dropped noticing I hadn't answered him yet. "Y/N" he shouted desperately, looking at all the three cars. I pushed the door open and we locked eyes. his body became loose, his face became soft. "Damon" I cried out running towards him, he opened his other arm and embraced me tightly. "Thank god you're okay" he breathed into my ear.

"Me? thank god you're okay- and you brought her back" I winced looking down at her in his arm. She was okay, I brushed my hand ver her soft head and Damon kissed my head and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Here, you must have missed her" he offered her t me but I shook my head. "No you keep her- I think this is my new favourite sight" I laughed blinking through my tears. Tears of happiness.

"What's the verdict? what does she look like?" I asked him gently. Damon smiled at me and looked back down at our daughter. "So I was thinking- about us, and how we have had a new beginning, a second chance" he began, staring back at the little girl gazing over him. "And latin for New is.." " ...Nova" I fished off for him, he turned his attention to me.

"I love it" I nodded feeling a tear roll sown my eyes. "To new beginnings" he whispered kissing me softly on my lips. "Let's get her home" I told him, holding onto his bicep. "I think im going to like hearing you say that" Damon hummed making me chuckle.

I knew I made the right decision.

Damon salvatore masterlist

The vampire diaries masterlist

All series masterlist

Masterlist of masterlist

[limonnitsa]

✨ MY ART THEN VS NOW ✨

Thanks @myokk and @keri-mcberry for tagging!

Disclaimer: I hope this post doesn't sound too pretentious or dry. This is my "Art Then vs Now" journey, so I thought every part of it is important, even if it's not mentioned anyway.

I had to digest it on stages to cover all of my art activity:

SILENCE STAGE (APR - SEPT 2023)

This is the very first sketch of Ida I made a couple of days after starting to play HL. It was bachelor's thesis period - quite intense and draining. I had a creative crisis and barely drew for myself, so one evening I finally decided to sketch something with a low-effort approach.

A month later I had some time to make a sketch dump of Ida. It was completely self-indulgent - no expectations, no pressure, just me and the thrill of drawing something I wanted to. Back then I had already been thinking about her story.

After my thesis in June I thought "F IT" and experimented with rendering black and white art and coloring it afterwards. It took about a month of trial-and-error. My hands and eyes started to remember something.

All this time I had been drawing without posting it anywhere. Some events kept convincing me that I must hide and remain an observer-

RAGING STAGE (OCT - NOV 2023)

But fortunately I snapped.

By raging I mean an OBSESSION to make it through HLMCoctober challenge.

My goals were to:

not be pathetic about the lack of feedback ("it's neither's fault, just keep going, share what you want and be interesting" was my thoughts), lower any expectations from outside

make my art style more convenient to draw faster

not only imagine but implement the ideas I have in a relatively short amount of time

develop Ida's character

study Seb&Ida dynamic

This challenge wasn't the only one I participated in. I also took part in Haloween Party Collab @lanabenikosdoormat organized (KUDOS) I was very excited by the amount of activity I had as an artist.

And all of it worked. At the end of the month I also felt more confident in coloring. But the more questions I answered, the more they came to my mind again and again and what I had wasn't enough.

So I started drawing comics.

COMICS STAGE (NOV 2023 - APR 2025)

Seb & Ida comic series I made is a bunch of random scenes I had in my head and put it chronologically.

The Disturbance idea was born back in summer, but I started drawing the drafts of storyboard only in November.

Unfortunately there's no older version of the storyboard. When I started it, I knew how the story ends but I needed to "stitch" the scenes into more smooth and consistent form. Here's the most clear example how it works.

KUDOS

These people had an influence on my art, directly and not, so I think it's rightfully to mention them as a part of my art journey in HL fandom:

The HL TikTok videos of @alliezarin and @lamieboo cheered me up a lot during my thesis period way before I got to Tumblr. They were probably one of the first creators who planted the idea of starting to draw something with Ida.

@faustinio27 is a huuuge backbone who helped me a lot in understanding Ida as a character during our discussions of her backstory! We had a thoughtful and productive discussion and she motivated me to finally make the Disturbance!

The comics of @keri-mcberry and @choccy-milky art inspired and motivated me a lot to draw my own comics! I paid attention to lines, their dynamics and made it with my own twist.

@traceyc-uk showed me THE STYLE of panelling! The first artist who comes to my mind when I think of storyboarding.

@rypnami made a cozy community where I could feel comfortable starting to socialise and get a lot of cool moots. It helped me a lot, now sometimes English is the first language I think in!

@siboom777 the first and only (yet) moot I met irl and had an insane drawing session. Her energy is very contagious!

Consider yourself as tagged, but no pressure! 🌸

This post may seem too serious or even dry but it's just my second attempt to write it and keep the key parts 🙌

FAVOURITE IDIOTIC STORY OF THIS ART MAKING TO RUIN SERIOUSNESS

I had been severely sick for a month (poorly cured myself last time), head and eyes hurt, 38.5° temperature, Arcane s2ep7 is watched, nose is full so I could't afford neither hysteria nor sleep. The only decision was to distract myself with drawing some sick ass render art at this condition in one evening. Somehow I managed to make it so nice that I still see it as one of the best art of Ida I made.

Bruh I figuratively sneezed on the canvas with my skill.

[adoptourcrew]

Here is a transcript of Rhys talking about OFMD cancellation. You can listen to his full interview on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts.

Talking Strange Paranormal Show with Aaron Sagers: Rhys Darby Returns!

Timestamp: 37:52-41:49

Aaron: I can’t help but ask about Our Flag Means Death…I absolutely love the show. It has such a huge fan base. It even has the massive queer community support and we are now in the midst of Pride Month. For you, how do you view the legacy of Our Flag Means Death professionally. How does it rank in your work?

Rhys: Very highly. It’s an odd one, because in my mind, and I’m sure all the fans' minds, it was slightly rudely cut short. We should have gone more and I think it’s because we felt like the aim was to go for three seasons, to tell the whole story. And because it was so good and it had a lot of fans and it was representational, it was funny, it was beautifully shot, awesome costumes. We’re pirates on a boat attacking each other and making out. It was a unique show and I’m still getting over the idea that they can just go “we’re canceling that” when other things, I won’t name any names of certain other comedy shows and things, that just keep running. And I think, who the hell is making these decisions and there might be a financial element to it, yeah sure. But the budget was stripped by 40% on the second season and we shot it in New Zealand, we saved a lot of money by going to another country, which seems odd. But still, then they called it quits there at the end of number two. So it’s bittersweet in a lot of ways for me because personally, for my own journey, it was the best thing I’ve ever done because I was the lead and I got to obviously use my comedic skills, that’s easy. But I got into the drama side of things and there was some real emotional pathos and nuances that I didn’t know I was capable of doing and I got to do, and I was really proud of my work on that thing. It’s like my mum always said, “pride always comes before a fall.” (laughs) And now it’s gone. But hey! Move on, we’ll move on.

Aaron: Would you and Taika ever consider, as some other creators have, perhaps completing the story in another format, another medium, comic books for instance. A way that you could tell the story that you wanted to.

Rhys: I think the fans have already done that. The fanfiction is through the roof. But I think the show that we made was something to behold and hopefully it will stick around. It’s just two seasons, there are a lot of shows that ran for two seasons, like Flight of the Conchords, for example, there are only two seasons of that. And I look at these things now as pieces of art and there they are. And you can watch them over a long weekend or whatever you want. But it’s finite and it’s done and you can enjoy it and you can always go back to it. It’s a happy place. It’s art and that’s it.

[suckerfordylansstuff]

Not a date - Steve Harrington

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!reader

Summary: Dustin is certain you're dating someone. You, on the other hand, are not so sure.

Word count: 2.5k

Notes: As you can see we're changing the style with this new post. You could consider this kind of a small prequel for "A date like no other", but mostly, I just wanted to write more of Dustin and Y/n's relationship (more will follow, inspiration has hit me). Plus, it was fun playing detective. Hope you enjoy! 💕

!This piece goes along my Steve Harrington series "New Journey", but can also be read as a standalone!

Timeline: After the winter dance, but before their first date.

“I have gathered you here today on an important issue.” Dustin was pacing around Mike's basement while all the rest of his friends followed him with their eyes “It is crucial that we take upon this matter with focus and determination. Not to mention stealthiness since a bit of spy work is going to occur.”

“Dustin, why are we here?” his dramatics had Max over the whole thing very quickly.

“It has come to my attention that my sister, my own blood, has been seeing someone behind my back and simultaneously lying to me about it.”

“And?” Lucas asked, not understanding his friend’s anger.

“What do you mean and? This is it!”

“You’re mad your sister has finally found someone?” Will was trying to understand Dustin’s motives.

“I’m mad she hasn’t told me about it. I mean, why would she do that? I certainly tell her everything.” his pacing hasn’t stopped from the moment he entered the basement.

“Maybe because she wants to focus on the new relationship and not on her little brother’s obnoxious opinions?” Max told him with a smile, making Dustin stop in his tracks.

“You’re new, you don’t get a say.” he pointed in her direction and continued his pattern on the floor.

“Dustin, what do you want us to do?” Mike sighed when he saw Dustin place large papers on top of a chair, opposite to them, a pen in his hand as he settled beside them. It reminded him of their teacher, and not in a good way.

“I want you to come with me and spy on her.” he removed his first blank paper, revealing a calendar with colorful dots on certain days “It all started a month ago. I realized she began going out a lot more than usual. I mean I love my sister, but let’s be honest, she doesn’t have many friends.” he pulled out another paper, this time a pie chart with all the colors they had previously seen on the calendar “So, I began tracking her behavior. When she would go out, when she would return, and try to figure out with whom. So far, I’ve noted 14 outings in the span of 29 days… She went out with Jonathan twice, once with Nancy, once with you, Max, and you, Eleven, for girl’s night. Three times with all of us and another three with me. That all makes 10. The other 4 are a mystery to me.” with each sentence, each ‘clue’, he was pointing the pen at every chart so the rest wouldn’t get lost

“When she hangs out with friends, I have noticed Y/n coming back at a decent hour, say around 10:30, at least 11:00. However, when she’s ‘on her own’ those hours defer.” the new paper showed the said hours with a big question mark at the end “I have caught her sneaking into the house well after 1:00 am! Clearly, she’s not out there on her own. But I haven’t been able to figure out with whom. I checked with both Nancy and Jonathan telling me that they had not seen her those specific days. She’s clearly with someone doing something, but when I ask her about what she did and where she went she outright lies to me, saying she was with Jonathan and/or Nancy.” he let the last paper fall flat on the chair, the pen rhythmically hitting his other palm “It is our mission to figure out who she is meeting on these days, so I can evaluate if I need to step in and help her.”

The kids all looked at one another, trying to see if they wanted in on this. His thinking could be correct, but the thought of him being wrong and giving them the chance to mess with him is what sealed the deal.

“Alright, we’re in.” Mike announced for all of them. Dustin’s face immediately lit up.

“But how do we know when their next meet-up is?” Lucas asked him.

“Already ahead of you my friend.” he began organizing the papers he had used, stacking them into his bag before putting it on “I overheard Y/n talk with my mother, saying she’s going out. Again, wouldn’t outright tell me with whom. So that’s why I came here, to find out if Nancy had any plans. As it turns out she did. But not with my sister, with Jonathan. Right?” his eyes fell on Will.

“Yeah, they are hanging out at ours.” Will confirmed Dustin’s words.

“Okay, so that excludes them from this ‘secret meet up’.” Max thought out loud.

“Precisely.” they were now getting out of the house from the basement’s door, making their way to their bikes.

“So… Where is she?” Eleven asked, her small voice was now loud enough for all to hear, turning their heads at once to look at Dustin.

Dustin wasn’t sure at the beginning where his sister would be. She had mentioned she would leave around 8:30. Now, he had left earlier to check on her small lie at the Wheeler’s, so their first stop was at his house to check if her car was still there. It was, which meant either of two things. She either walked to their meeting place (which was unlikely of her after everything that had happened to them, walking somewhere alone was a no-no for his sister). Or the person she was meeting picked her up. It left a lot of options open so he decided to head inside with the rest and look for more clues.

His mom greeted them, chatting a bit with the kids while Dustin looked around for any indication as to where she went. He noticed that her sneakers were missing, telling Dustin that they weren’t going somewhere fancy, so maybe their destination was the theater or maybe grabbing a bite somewhere.

“Hey, mom. I was thinking of eating the leftover pizza from last night after I come back. Y/n didn’t eat it, right?” he looked over at his mom, Tews on her lap as always.

“Oh, no, Dusty, she specifically said that she didn’t want to have anything since she’ll be going out to eat with her friends.”

Bingo.

Dustin excluded from the options list the diner where you used to work. Too many people knew you there and the secrecy wouldn’t last. So, they began roaming around the town trying to get a glimpse of you. They succeeded after a couple of tries. Lucas had caught a glimpse of your figure inside the burger place. You were sitting in a corner booth in the back of the store, your face bright, not only by the lights of the place but by your present company as well.

“Holy shit. Dustin was right.” Max climbed out of her bike, staring at the older sister of her new friend.

“Of course I was. Can you see who she is with?”

“No, his back is turned.” Lucas tried to wiggle around in an attempt to see who was with you.

We’re gonna have to get inside.” Mike noted and Dustin agreed.

“Not all of us, we’ll draw attention. Will, you’re coming with me.” the said boy wasted no time and followed his friend toward the entryway.

“Why him?” Mike called out, annoyed he wasn’t getting in on the action.

“Because he’ll be quiet, unlike you.” Dustin whisper-yelled.

They get inside and make their way to the end of the front counter. When they peaked at the back, they had a clearer shot at the two figures. Dustin could clearly see your big, bright smile, but the guy you were with was sitting opposite of you, meaning they could only see his back

“We still can’t see his face.”

“Wait… I know that hair.” Dustin’s eyes squinted as he focused on the person in question. The waiter had approached them, his lips moving, probably asking them if everything was okay. It was then when the mysterious guy turned his head, making him visible to him, a relieved sigh falling from his lips  “Oh, it’s just Steve.”

He and Will went outside without alerting you, joining the others once again.

“Okay, people, crisis averted. It was only Steve, just a friendly meet-up.” he announced to his friends before he grabbed his bike, ready to return home.

“Sure.” Max smirked his way, suddenly making a frown appear on Dustin’s face.

“Uh… Dustin? I don’t think this is very friend-like.” Mike was pointing to the restaurant. Dustin turned and met the horror. Steve had now switched his seat, joining you on your side. His arm was around your shoulders, your faces way too close for his liking. And then it happened. Steve kissed you.

Dustin was waiting for you to return back home. He was in the dark, his mother fast asleep, not realizing her own son was stewing hot. He was ready. Ready to tell you he knows your secret and ready to express his anger. He liked Steve, he didn’t like showing it, but he did. He was funny and honest with him, and a guy. He had a guy friend. Someone whom he could rely on when seeking advice. He knew he could come to you about everything, but sometimes he felt too embarrassed to say certain things. He was getting older, more ‘mature’ as his mother had said, and Steve had been through those things before, therefore could give him the advice he needed.

He liked Steve, but now he was afraid he was going to lose him… and you. You always wanted to be in a relationship and now that you were in one, you were going to spend all your time with each other, forgetting all about the party and mainly him. Or you would eventually break up and he would have to choose your side, his sister’s, and forcing him to say goodbye to his friend.

It all felt unacceptable to him, so he had to tell you about it.

Finally, he heard a car stop outside. After a couple of minutes, your keys were daggling as you opened the door. He watched you come inside, a lingering smile on your face as you took off your jacket and placed it on the hook beside the door. You were in the process of taking off your shoes when he decided to intervene.

“Hello, sister.”

He startled you, a small yelp coming from your lips as you squinted your eyes to see where your brother was hiding “Dustin? What are you doing in the dark? Do you know what time it is?”

“Do you?” he countered back, catching you by surprise.

“What?”

“How was your night?”

“Oh… It was really fun actually, thanks for asking. But this still doesn’t answer my question as to what you’re still doing up.” your arms were now folded in front of your chest, thinking you had the upper hand here.

“Oh, I just had a simple question really. Who were you with?”

It took you a second to form your question, confusion rising inside you “What?”

“I was over at Mike’s today and I stumbled upon Nancy.” Dustin stood up from the armchair and walked closer to you as he explained “I asked her if she was on her way to come get you, but she told me she wasn’t meeting with you. She was actually going to meet up with Jonathan for a date at his place.”

“Oh…” was all that came from your lips.

“I know who you met tonight. I followed you and found out you are secretly dating Steve.” his finger was accusingly pointing at your figure. He didn’t know what reaction he was really expecting from you but it certainly wasn’t what you said next.

“I’m not dating him, Dustin.”

“Wait, what?”

“We’re not dating.” you shrugged your shoulders and sat down on the couch.

“But he kissed you. I saw it!”

“I don’t know what to tell you, okay? It’s all very confusing.” your head your resting on top of your palms. You looked defeated, confused, sad, a whole different side of you than the one he had seen at the restaurant. He slowly approached you, sitting next to you. You looked up and saw him looking at you, a silent invitation to explain “It all started after we dropped you off at the ball. We happened to dance a little and it ended in a kiss. After that, we’ve been hanging out as much as we could and, yes, I admit, some kissing has gone down, but I don’t know what we are.”

Dustin noted that your voice was small but your feeling big “Do you like him?”

You looked up and locked eyes with your brother. You hadn’t been able to tell no one this, and you had no idea how much it was eating at you to get it out before this conversation “Very much.”

“Then I’m certain it will all work out.”

And just like that Dustin had forgotten all about his speech. He could still remember the way you smiled at him, thanking him with a big hug. It was the same smile when you picked up the phone, a couple of days later, Steve’s name falling from your lips. It was a soft one, your focus entirely on the voice coming from the phone, from his friend. When you finally hung up, a small shriek sounded all around the room. After just a moment he found out you were excited, beyond excited because he had asked you out on a date.

“Didn’t you go on one like yesterday?” he had asked.

“This is the first time he uses the word date, Dustin. The first time!”

He secretly smiled at your antics, even if in front of you he called it gross. When you returned home after that so-called ‘first date’, bliss was written all over your face. The next day, you all were meeting with the party for a campaign, the first time you would include Steve in your game. The first time he would see you two together officially for the first time. It was funny seeing him make all the wrong decisions and getting himself killed in the first thirty minutes. It was hilarious seeing you and him bicker about what you should do next. Steve making it his business to judge you all based on your actions. And it was certainly sweet when he would cheer with you after a successful roll. It didn’t seem all that different to him; your behavior.

It was after the campaign when Steve was talking his ear off on the way to their house about what movie you should see at the next movie night with the kids, that it truly hit him. Nothing would change. You would still be his sister and Steve would still be his friend. It couldn’t be that bad. Especially, if he saw his sister so happy every day.

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[saltynsassy31]

I thought of more stuff...

Okay so Drift joined a group to capture and weaponize the bird folk or hunt them or something until his own feathers started growing in cause he's part bird. Then ran away from group wounded, Ratchet saved him, but he couldn't be with Ratchet because he literally was hunting him down so he doesn't "deserve it" and instead finds himself in a place filled with half bird folk and Wing the dude who teaches him to not be a jerk and leads Drift to Spirituality. Anyhow then Drift leaves to find Ratchet because (idk) and stumbles upon Rodimus/HotRod a literal Phoenix dude, and HotRod gains a bodyguard. And they eventually meet up with Ratchet who's like the only adult when the two numbskulls are together.

Anyhow I thought it would be funny if Tailgate was a half bird person too, and his "vanishing" would be while cleaning a research post thought he saw a bird person and ran off a cliff not looking where he was going, but considering his bird dna he more glided (or bounced) until he got trapped in a cave. (Thankfully the lovely purple bird saved him from the blue Canadian goose that was freaking him out, a couple months after the fact) ;)

Last thing I swear. Ratchets wings, I kinda want them to just drag behind him like he can't fly, maybe because they're messed up and he won't let anyone touch them of groom him (who knows)

Anyhow hope you enjoy ;D

DUDE

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?!?!

Okay okay okay HOW do you keep guessing like, half the things I'm gonna do???????

It's not 100% accurate to what I have planned, but it's not like I had much planned anyway. Actually,I think it's probably better than what I had 😅 (though to be fair to me, I only recently started to learn about the rest of the cast LMAO)

I had no plans for Roddy though, like, nada. So consider your idea for him officially canon 😉👍

As for Ratchet and Drift. Drift is pretty close to what I had in mind of being half bird. Except he wasn't naturally a half bird (I was planning of introducing his story along side Rodimus, but I had zero plans for the fiery guy at the time. But now that I do, I can start working on it THANKS TO YOU!!!!) And his lore kinda ties in back to the Hunter and the Jet Twins (just disclaimer, the jettwins and Perceptor have their lore settled pretty firmly I just... it... it'll just take a while for me to finish their part because its big heavy lore).

Also, in general, the lore you have for Drift is actually way better, and fits a lot more than with what I had in mind. So consider it canon LMAO (we'll cross the gridge of the not natrually half bird part when we get there 🤭)

Also may I steal your design for Drift? I am absolutely in love with it! Vkdksks and it fits with the lore so much- I will credit you, obviously, all credits to you omg

Ratchet's wings...well, they used to be big too, you got that part somewhat right. He'll get his own post some day, but, in the mean time, since you've been such a dear, I'll show you the WIP for him I have so far :3

He's actually important for Blurr and Swerve's journey

As for Tailgate

YOU GUESSED 100% HIS STORY WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT HOOOOWWWW?????

I mean, not that he had a lot planned to begin with. But yes, he is a half-breed (I will be making a dedicated post to them btw, they're important, especially when it comes to Ratchet’s involvement). He's also part of the minibot trio cuz I love them, and I love their friendship uwu now I just gotta find a way to fit in Skids because his friendship with Swerve is my favourite so far. Curse me for not having read mtmte before making this au-

Cyclonus is a bird that finds him too. But everything else I hadn't yet touched on, so your story for them is pretty much canon at this point XD (I also had no plans for Whirl, so I'll keep him as the chaotic, blue Canadian goose XD)

EDUT UIFIRGOT TO COMMENT IN BABY RODDY I AM ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH IT DUDE THAT IS SO CUTE YES HE IS ABSOLUTELY BABY OH MY GOD WHAT AN UGLY BABY I LOVD HIM

Edit, again cuz I am rushing through this too much and I keep forgetting to comment on shit

But that little comic with Rewind and Swerve is sooooo accurate to them lmao

[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.9 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

See masterlist

Is this real? Is any of it even real?

Amren....this is Amren.....well, she had a ghost body and bright light all around her but it still IS her!

"Amren!"

The hope that fluttered in y/n's chest was unimaginable. It felt so good to finally see someone from your world. Even if you do not consider that someone as a friend anymore. But...whatever it takes to leave this place. Even if a tiny part of her was refusing the idea.

Amren's eyes widened slightly as she spoke, her voice imbued with an otherworldly resonance from the magic. "Y/n! Fucking finally!"

Y/n tried coming closer but Fenrys grabbed her waist and pulled her back to his chest. She tried moving but his strong grip wouldn't budge and when she looked at his face, it showed no emotion but a warriors gaze, daring Amren to even try something.

She sighed but looked back at Amren, who was watching the interaction with an amused look, "Amren...how? I-what is going on? I mean, I have been trying to come back but so far it's not working. How did you find me? Is the Book of Breathings with you?"

The female replied while still keeping her narrowed gaze on the male behind y/n "It's a long story and I do not have much time but yes I came here after managing to break through the book's spells. Clearly not with my physical body though. We have been searching for ways to bring you back ever since you left. Azriel has been going feral, even threatened to kill Rhysand if you aren't back saf-"

"You expect me to believe that? You all lied to m-"

"There is no time for this sappy nonsense talk, girl. We can all discuss it when all of this craziness is over and you're back. There is not enough time. Listen to me, I finally found where you are so just wait a little longer and we will get to you-"

"Amren no, you don't understand. There are gates opening, evil beings are coming back and I somehow am the one who needs to be the one to close those gates and then come home and...we have to kill those evil beings an- you probably have no idea what I am talking about but listen to me, I need the Book of Breathings. How can you send it to me?"

Amren's figure started to slowly disappear "I just managed to get to you, find your location after a whole month of searching and now you are telling me that I need to find a way to send the book to you? I don't understand-"

"Months? It has only been a week here-"

Amren was almost gone now "Time is different in each world girl. Just be patient a little more. We will find a way."

"No! Amren, the gate-"

Rowan, Aelin and Manon came running into the room, a shocked expression overtaking their features when they sew what was going on.

Amren looked at them before her figure completely disappeared and all the traces of an ancient magic left the room.

Aedion looked at her and Fenrys, who was still clutching her tightly to his chest, before saying "Well, are any of you planning to explain what the fuck this was?"

Fenrys seemingly cooled down becuse the second Aedion finished talking, he silently unwrapped his arm from around her and moved back. Why was she feeling sad because of it? Get your hormones together y/n.

She cleared her throat and spoke "The female you saw, she is from my world and apparently they have been searching for me for a whole month. She said now that she knows I am here, they will try their best to get me back but I tried telling her about the gates and that I need the Book of Breathings but she...she didn't underst- anyways there wasn't enough time and....well, yes."

They looked at Fenrys to see if she was lying or not but when he just nodded in confirmation, they stared at her with varying expressions. It was Manon who spoke first, her voice sharp "Your people are coming here?"

"Well, yes....maybe? They want to get me out of here, not to cause any troubles so..relax."

Aelin just sighed before heading towards the door, followed by the other two "This was definitely not how I planned my afternoon to go."

Once everyone had left, y/n also moved towards the door when his voice stopped her "So, Azriel is going mad for you?"

She turned around to see him staring out the window, not looking at her. But if those clenched hands were any indicator, Fenrys was clearly mad.

She scoffed "Out of everything that just happened, you only care about that?"

When Fenrys remained silent, y/n sighed softly. "Don't believe it. He's probably just struggling with guilt."

With those words hanging in the air, she left the room and headed towards the royal gardens, leaving Fenrys alone with his thoughts.

Too much. This was too much for her. She just wanted to go home. To leave all this behind. Why her? Why is she even special when all her life she was told the opposite? Why can't it all stop?!

Y/n was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't even realize where she ended up in the garden. It was a small, wooden gazebo that had roses of all colors covering its sides and roof. But what caught her attention the most was the blond queen sitting inside it, eyes closed and head tilted back, resting against the wood.

Seems like Aelin also was seeking a moment of peace. Best to turn around and leave-

"Don't go."

Y/n turned around to see the female in the same position with her eyes still closed. She hesitantly came closer and sat a little further away from the queen.

Aelin sighed before speaking "This place is where I find sanctuary when it all gets too much to handle."

Y/n nodded slightly as she looked towards the gardens, the birds chirping bringing her a sense of comfort, as she relaxed against the wooden pillar behind her.

"I understand you, you know. I understand how it feels to hide yourself, your secrets, from the world. To think of yourself as so unworthy, that you are doing a favor to your loved ones by hiding your true self from them."

Y/n's shock and confusion was evident on her face as she looked at her "What? I don- How?"

Did she know about the whole witch thing? Did Manon tell her?

Aelin just smirked slightly "You may seem unbreakable but even you sometimes let out your emotions through your facial expressions. And let's not talk about the obvious fact that you are in a different place surrounded by us, strangers. Of course you will feel out of place."

The winged female sighed as she just stared at the view in front of them "It is draining. I don't know what to feel or do anymore. I don't know anything."

At that, Aelin opened her eyes and looked at y/n "You know, everyone thought that I was dead until I got my throne back three years ago."

Y/n whipped her head back around and looked to her side, at the queen "What?!"

Aelin just laughed as she said "Yes! My parents and everyone I ever loved were murdered ten years ago by the King of Adarlan. Long story short, a man....Arobynn, he found me unconscious out in the open in the middle of the night and took me in. Turns out he was the King of Assasins which is why I spent the next seven years of my life under his watch, training to be the best assassin- which I did end up becoming. And all that time, I went under a false name, Celaena Sardothien, it was hilarious! no one ever knew my true identity because I would always dress in black and cover every part of my body, making it impossible for people to even tell my age."

Y/n couldn't believe what she was hearing. This female was not queen the whole time? What?

Aelin just continued with a sigh "But....when I was seventeen it all changed. By that point, I was tired of Arobynn. He was a paradox. He put me through the toughest fights, challenges and missions just to make me into what I am now, he would shower me with gifts, making me filthy rich at such a young age but....he wouldn't hesitate to punish me when I would 'let him down'. He lied when he said that he would let me go, he lied because he saw me as a posession. An object of which he couldn't let go. He was a paradox. A manipulator, caretaker, father, mentor, maybe even lover."

Y/n didn't know when she got closer to the queen, coming to sit right next to her as she silently said "That....I can understand it slightly....while mine wasn't showering me in gifts or training me to be an asassin he would beat me up, do unspeakable things but then he would ask for forgiveness, say its my fault, but he loves me....that he knows what's best for me."

The female beside her nodded her head, needing no explanation on what y/n just said "They may come in different forms but they are all monsters nonetheless. Arobynn indirectly killed the boy I loved and then acted devastated as I cried next to his dead, mutilated body. Then, when I tried to get my revenge, he was the one who informed the enemy and got me sent into a slave camp where I spent a whole year of my life. Dorian and Chaol? I know them because they were the ones to save me from that camp, even though we all hated each other at first. Lysandra? I know her because she was also under his control."

"That....that is horrible. I-I am so sorry I don't even know what to say....is- is he alive now?"

Aelin just gave her a small, sad smile "Don't worry, Lysandra slit his throat when he was asleep. Which was then followed by a shit ton of chaos."

Y/n smiled too, happy to know that this monster also got his deserved end.

"Did you kill yours too?"

She nodded "Yes, he wanted to clip my wings so that I never even thought of leaving him. It was also a stupid tradition. I trained myself, then opened an academy to train others so that they wouldn't go through what I did. It was quite the shock really, a female Illyrian whose wings weren't clipped, training others how to fight."

Aelin's hand on Y/n's shoulder was warm, a gesture of solidarity that spoke volumes more than words ever could. Her proud smile softened the edges of her usually fierce expression.

"You survived," Aelin said softly, her voice carrying the weight of understanding. "And you've grown stronger despite everything. That's what matters."

Y/n nodded, feeling a surge of gratitude toward Aelin. They may have come from different worlds, faced different kinds of horrors, but in that moment, their shared experience of overcoming abuse and manipulation bound them together.

Aelin squeezed her shoulder gently before withdrawing her hand. "We're stronger together," she said firmly. "And we'll make sure no one else suffers like we did."

With those words hanging in the air, Y/n felt a renewed sense of purpose. Despite the darkness of their pasts, there was hope in their shared resolve to protect others from similar fates.

When they left the gardens, they saw others on the training grounds. Fenrys and Rowan were fighting each other, half naked, while Aedion, Manon and Chaol watched from the sidelines, Aedion with his bandaged arm and Chaol with his cane by his side. Eva and Lysandra were sitting on one of the benches while the teen was pointing at the book in her hands, showing something to her. Abraxos was sleeping on the grass.

When they reached Lysandra and Eva, the latter looked up at y/n from her place on the bench “Y/n! You have to read this book! I will give it to you once I am done with it but it has the most exhilarating plot!” 

Y/n smiled as she looked at the book “Oh really? Then I can’t wait for it.”

Eva grinned and hugged the book to her chest. “Trust me, you’ll be hooked from the first chapter. The characters are so well-written, and the twists are mind-blowing.”

Lysandra chuckled, shaking her head. “Eva’s been talking about that book non-stop since she started it. It’s a wonder she hasn’t finished it already.”

Eva rolled her eyes playfully. “Well, I want to savor it. It’s not every day you come across such a gem.”

Y/n laughed. “I’ll take your word for it. I’m always on the lookout for a good read.”

Aelin smiled at the small interaction before looking at Chaol with a concerned gaze, “Something happened to Yreene?”

Lysandra sighed, “Apparently. He was sparring with Fenrys when his legs began hurting. Hopefully whatever Yrene is doing with the book, she is taking precautions.” 

Before anyone could say anything, Lysandra looked at y/n “Speaking of, care to explain why Fenrys is so riled up that he has been fighting nonstop for the past two hours? Aelin, you might want to check up on your birdie because he looks quite exhausted.” 

Once again, before y/n could even begin to reply, she heard a familiar voice behind her say “You liar.”

Aelin and y/n both turned around to see Manon staring at y/n with fire in her eyes.

Y/n and all three females behind her were just as confused as her when she asked, “What are you talking about, Manon?”

The witch just stepped closer to her as she said, “Knew you were a deceiving snake.” 

Manon’s fists were clenched, her muscles taut with readiness. “Let’s see if you can lie about this as well, y/n.”

With a sudden burst of speed, Manon lunged forward, her fist aiming straight for y/n’s face. She sidestepped the punch and retaliated with a swift jab to Manon’s ribs. The impact made Manon grunt, but she shook it off quickly, eyes blazing with determination.

Manon countered with a roundhouse kick aimed at y/n’s midsection. She blocked the kick with her forearm, the force of the blow sending a shockwave through her arm. Ignoring the pain, y/n grabbed Manon’s leg and twisted, attempting to throw her off balance. Manon, however, used the momentum to her advantage, flipping gracefully and landing on her feet.

The fight intensified as they exchanged blows with lightning speed. Manon’s fists were like hammers, each punch coming with incredible force. Y/n dodged and weaved, her movements fluid and precise. She countered with a powerful uppercut that connected with Manon’s jaw, sending her staggering back.

She closed the distance, launching a series of rapid punches aimed at Manon’s torso. Manon blocked and deflected, her reflexes sharp. She ducked under a particularly vicious swing and delivered a brutal knee strike to Y/N’s stomach.

The blow knocked the wind out of y/n, but she didn’t go down. Instead, she gritted their teeth and grabbed Manon’s arm, pulling her into a close-quarters grapple. The two struggled for dominance, muscles straining, breaths coming in ragged gasps.

In the distance, she could hear screams and shouts to stop, to just back off. Fenrys’ voice was the loudest of all. 

For some reason, y/n turned around to cast him a quick glance and was met with his beyond concerned gaze. It held a mixture of anger, shock and….fear. His breaths were ragged and his hands were shaking as he slowly made his way ove-

A punch to her stomach forced her backwards and onto the ground as she looked back at Manon who just told her “Coward.”

That was it. That was the final straw. Y/n didn’t know when or how she felt it but she did. Her transformation began with a disorienting sensation, her body shifting in ways she couldn't immediately comprehend. A strange taste filled her mouth, the metallic tang of iron, as her gums contorted and stretched, forming into sharp, unforgiving iron teeth. Simultaneously, her nails extended, hardening into gleaming, steel-like claws that seemed to elongate with every passing second.

Everything else became a blur. All the gasps, all the noise, everything but Manon, who was now smirking triumphantly at her. 

Y/n lunged for the witch, pinning her down with a snarl that displayed her fangs “You did it all to rile me up. It was an act wasn’t it? You planned it.”

Manon had the audacity to just smirk and shrug her shoulder while still pinned down “It worked though, didn’t it?”

“I will kill you.”

“Go ahead.”

She raised her hand, her iron nails glinting in the sun as she aimed for the queens throat but….she couldn’t do it. Something inside her refused to obey. 

With a sigh, she pushed back and away from Manon and got up. Y/n felt as her body shifted back to normal, her nails and teeth disappearing once again.

Silence fell over the area like a heavy blanket, each person frozen in shock. Aelin and Eva's mouths hung open in disbelief, Lysandra's hand instinctively covering hers. Aedion and Chaol stared, their expressions a mix of bewilderment directed at her and then at Manon. Rowan's smile was faint but discernible, while Fenrys stood wide-eyed and rigid, caught between amazement and apprehension.

Aelin closed her mouth and cleared her throat before asking "You- you are an Ironteeth Witch? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I didn't know what I was until I came here and even if I did, I consider it a curse so why should I tell you?"

She felt Manon come and stand right beside her as she said with a harsh tone "Call us a curse one more time and see what happens. You are a witch so stop denying it."

Before y/n could reply, Eva shouted "That is so amazing! A witch with wings of her own!"

Lysandra clapped "Well done you two for putting on such a brilliant show."

Y/n sighed as Manon snickered and Aedion muttered an "I am so confused" before earning a small nod in agreement from Chaol who was still questioningly staring at y/n.

Her gaze moved towards Fenrys but he wasn't looking at her anymore. He was staring at the ground with his brows furrowed and when Rowan patted him on the shoulder, he just turned around and left.

Y/n wanted to go after him but was stopped when Aelin and everyone else just came over to her, asking questions.

Fenrys thought that throughout his long life, he had seen enough shocking things that it would take a lot to ever surprise him. Well, apparently everything is different when it comes to y/n. It's like she manages to be the exception to his every thought and feeling.

She is an Ironteeth Witch? How is that even possible, isn't she from a different world? Does her world also have Ironteeth Witches?

Earlier he was angry at....well he had no idea why he was angry. For some reason, even hearing the name Azriel made him want to punch a wall. He also didn't like or trust Amren. In fact, Fenrys didn't like y/n's whole little friend group back in her world. They lied to her, ignored her when she needed a shoulder to cry on-

And why do you care, Fenrys?

Yes, why does he care, exactly? Y/n is only here temporarily. Once they solve the problem, she will go back to her home world and they will never see each other again so why does even the thought of that bother him so much?

Why does the thought of her going back to those liars that call themselves her family make him frustrated?

And worst of all, why does the thought of her going back to Azriel's arms make him want to rip out heads?

For the past hour, she couldn't find Fenrys anywhere and by the time y/n made it to her room, she was too exhausted to even think about anything but sleep. So, she collapsed on the bed and slept her exhaustion of the last few days away.

Four hours later, y/n stood in front of her mirror, assesing her look before dinner.

Thanks to Isolde, her neck was completely healed and looking as smooth as ever. This, of course, meant that she didn't need to wear a turtleneck anymore which is why she chose this simple yet still eye catching dress.

The dress she chose was a masterpiece of delicate craftsmanship, tailored to accentuate her figure in all the right places. Made from a flowing fabric that shimmered with every movement, it draped elegantly over her curves. The neckline was designed to draw attention to her healed neck, framing it gracefully while also accentuating her chest. Intricate embroidery adorned the sleeves and hem, adding a touch of detailed beauty to its otherwise understated elegance. The color, a soft shade of lavender, complemented her complexion, enhancing her natural radiance. Paired with subtle yet tasteful accessories, the dress completed a look that exuded both sophistication and effortless charm.

Not bad, y/n, not bad at all.

With a final look at herself, she opened her door to-

Fenrys was here, leaving his room as well.

Their eyes locked, holding a silent conversation of their own as they appraised each other's appearance. Fenrys stood tall, his hair styled in a casual half bun that allowed strands of golden hair to cascade over his broad shoulders. His attire was both practical and stylish—a crisp white tunic formed the foundation, complemented by a deep forest green vest that added a touch of color and structure. Dark brown pants, tucked neatly into knee-high boots, completed the ensemble, emphasizing the sturdy and agile nature of his build.

Despite the layers of clothing, Fenrys's physique was unmistakable—rippling muscles hinted at strength honed through rigorous training and battles fought. The tunic's sleeves hinted at the definition of his arms, while the vest accentuated his broad chest and shoulders. His stance exuded confidence and readiness, every movement suggesting a poised and capable warrior.

He was absolutely delicious to look at-

Mother above, y/n. Look back at his eyes. Be respectful.

She hesitantly lifted her gaze over to him but lost all her abilitiy to speak when she saw how his dark eyes were practically devouring her. Y/n cleared her throat which made him look back at her with those lust-filled and fierce eyes that made her feel all hot and bothered.

Then, as if coming back to reality, Fenrys straightened and started moving towards the stairs.

No. She had to talk to him. About what? She had no idea but-

"Are you upset with me?"

Once he heard her voice, Fenrys stopped, his back was towards her as he said "Why would I be upset with you?"

Y/n took a small step towards him. "Because you left when it was revealed that I was a....a witch. Because you refuse to look me in the face."

"And since when do you care about my feelings towards you?"

"You are right. I shouldn't but I do- you know what? This was very foolish of me, just forget this ever happened."

When y/n moved past him towards the stairs, she felt his hand grip her wrist, making her turn around to look at him.

Y/n frowned slightly, "Fenrys..."

He hesitated, then spoke in a voice laced with uncharacteristic vulnerability. "I don't trust them," he admitted quietly. "Your people, from your world. They say they want to bring you back, but what if they're not as trustworthy as you think? Didn't you say they neglected you when you needed them the most?"

Y/n sighed, understanding his concerns. "I get it. But they're my people, Fenrys. Even if things between us are complicated, I have known them for over fifty years, enough to know that they wouldn't harm m-"

"But they did. They didn't tell you when your lover was being unfaithful for two years, they didn't do shit as you got worse day by day so why should you trust them now?"

Y/n ripped her arm away from his hold as she turned to fully look at him with a narrowed gaze "What is this about Fenrys? I didn't tell you all this so that you could pity me. It was just a moment of vulnerability and you happened to be the-"

"I know because I understand you."

At her questioning gaze, Fenrys sighed before looking at the ground "Before Aelin, I.....I was.....sort of chained to another queen. Blood sworn, actually. It meant that I was her slave for as long as she pleases and that I could only ever be free of her with my honor intact if she willingly gave me her blessing and freed me from service. If not, then.....anyways what I want to say is that I know what it means to struggle and not have anyone by your side. My brother had his own demons to fight so we never could really lean on one another for support. Rowan, Lorcan and Gavriel they.....they also suffered in their own ways. Maeve made sure to traumatise each one of us differently,"

He couldn't look at her. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

Y/n gently put her hand on his chest "Fenrys, you don't have to force yourself to talk about it-"

"It is true, I see Rowan, Lorcan -unfortunately- and Gavriel as my brothers. We went through so much together and I am only standing here today because we made it, together. Gavriel made it too, I know it because I feel his presence sometimes. But even then, we all hid our pain from one another. I always only had myself to heal my own wounds. Both physical and mental."

"Oh my-"

"This is why I want you to be careful, y/n. I never had anyone to soothe my pain and I don't want you going through the same thing. When....when you go back to you world, just leave them. Promise me that you will leave them and find a better place for yourself."

"Fenrys I-"

He looked up from the ground, his eyes holding a hint of determination within them "Promise me, y/n."

She sighed "Yes. I promise, Fenrys."

He slowly nodded his head but made no move to leave and neither did y/n want to remove her hand from his chest.

The comfort Fenrys was feeling right now was unimaginable. He had never felt so at ease, so safe in someone's presence before. Even if the middle of a hallway isn't the most perfect place to experience this. He couldn't care less. He just showed her a part of him he never showed anyone, not even Aelin.

His vulnerability.

And for some reason, he wanted to keep telling her more, and in turn, hear more about her as well.

His gaze fell to her lips as his hands ached to touch her. Fenrys whispered, "You....you don't have a curse. Be proud of yourself and your lineage."

Y/n's came closer as she whispered back, "I....it will take time....getting used to that."

He smiled slightly, "That's fine. I will be proud of you anyway."

He saw her pupils dilate and her eyes widen but it seems like he was under some hypnotic curse because he added, "You...you are really beautiful."

Her lips parted and he saw a blush make it's way onto her adorable cheeks.

"I-thank you. You....you are very attractive as well."

Fenrys couldn't help the smirk that made its way onto his face "Yeah?"

She was a full red tomato now and he thought it was the most adorable sight ever. She replied with a shaky and barely audible voice, "Yeah."

They got closer and Fenrys was about to gently grab her waist when a cough interrupted their moment.

They both immediately detached and turned around to see Eva and Manon. The latter had a huge cheshire grin plastered on her face while the former had the look of a sad puppy.

Manon took eva's hand as they both started walking past y/n and Fenrys but not before Manon said, "See Eva, told you she wouldn't accept your love confession."

The younger girl playfully shoved aside the witch as she whisper shouted, "Shhh Manon! You just announced my crush to the entire kingdom!"

Y/n giggled as she followed them, Fenrys close behind her as she said, "Eva, don't listen to her! She likes to rile everyone up it seems."

Manon turned around with an amused gaze, "Glad you could finally understand that about me."

Y/n glared at her "I am still not done with you."

Manon just smiled and mused "I will keep my door open for you. Make the job easier."

Y/n just scoffed and she could feel Fenrys' chuckle from behind her as she turned her head sideways to look at him. "Something's funny, Fenny?"

She heard the witch chuckle and Eva audibly laugh while Fenrys' eyes widened "What kind of a nickname is that?"

Y/n just smirked and turned her head back around "Didn't like it? What about Fen? Or maybe Rys orrrrr Fenzo!"

Manon was full on cackling now and Eva was about to fall over because of laughing so hard. Fenrys just smiled while shaking his head "Gods save me."

As they reached the doors of the dining room, y/n smiled as she said, "No Gods to save you now. Perhaps you should change it to Aelin save me."

They were all laughing by the time they entered the room and saw the others, except Lorcan and Elide, sitting around. It was nice, yet so unusual to see Manon actually laugh. But, she wouldn't take it for granted, that woman is a paradox. Who knows, she may be laughing now but she may want to kill y/n the next moment.

Y/n just shook her head with a smile as she took her place next to Fenrys on the table. However that smile soon started disappearing when she felt a pair of eyes on her from somewhere in the room, making her feel uncomfortable.

It's just nerves. You are hungry. Just ignore it, the feeling will pass.

Aelin had an amused look as she took a bite out of her meal and said, "I think this may be the first time I ever saw Manon laugh in the past three years."

Manon just rolled her eyes "First and only. Not everyone is lucky enough to see it."

Yrene just said in a playful tone from beside Manon, "Everyone but Dorian right? I bet he gets to see it all the time."

Aedion smirked "Oh, yes. How are you feeling Manon dearest? Your princeling is coming soon."

Lysandra took a sip of her wine "Aelin, make sure that once Dorian is here, you send these two to the furthest part of the palace. They haven't seen each other in months, so it will be our poor ears that will bleed because of their 'union'."

Manon just scoffed and replied dryly, "I'll have you know, princeling's visits are strictly business." She shot a pointed glance at Yrene, who grinned mischievously.

Aedion chuckled, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "Business, huh? I'm sure it's a very serious matter, indeed."

Yrene raised her hands innocently. "Who am I to argue with our King?"

Aelin laughed, shaking her head. "Well, let's hope Dorian's arrival brings some distraction from all this impending doom." She glanced at Rowan, who was deep in conversation with Chaol about strategy.

Lysandra smirked. "If anyone can distract Manon from her duties, it's Dorian."

Manon rolled her eyes again but couldn't hide a small smile. 

Everyone, including Fenrys laughed at that and y/n felt a moment of pure bliss, seeing them interact so closely with one another. It reminded her of the inner circle but.....for some reason that didn't make her miss home at all.

But her moment of happiness was still mixed with discomfort as that mysterious gaze kept on burning a hole through her skull. When she turned her head around, she saw a servant girl who was just refilling the pitcher with water.

Everyone around her were busy with conversation, but she still felt uneasy. What was-

Fenrys gently put his hand on hers under the table and looked at her with a concerning gaze. "Are you well?"

She nodded her head slightly but that didn't ease her growing unease that someone was watching her.

The servant girl came closer to her, filled her cup with water and said "Take it."

Y/n just smiled, slightly uncomfortable as she replied, "I'm not thirsty."

The girl just gave her a cruel smile as she said in a sharp tone, "No, take what's coming for you, Winged Fury."

Before y/n could even process what was going on, the servant lunged for her, effectively throwing y/n down as everything around them erupted into chaos.

Y/n felt like she was suffocating as the the girl kept on choking her. From her peripheral vision, she saw Fenrys doing something but....her vision started going dark. This girl was inhumanly strong.

The last thing she heard before darkness enveloped her was "The Valg princes send their regards."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[risingchaos]

The hell is going on with Tuvok’s kids? How old are they? Why do they do this to me? Welcome a segment I like to call:

Chaos loses their mind over Star Trek continuity ✨

(Chaos loses their mind over Star Trek continuity ✨)

For this week’s episode: In canon, Tuvok’s children have wildly conflicting potential ages, specifically his daughter. Come along for the journey.

To start, Tuvok has a solidified age within canon. Tuvok states his stardate birthdate to be 38774 (“Unimatrix Zero II”), putting his birth year in our terms as 2264. This makes him 107 as of when Voyager goes missing in 2371.

In the episode “Flashback”, Tuvok states he is 29 years old in said flashback two months into serving aboard Sulu’s ship on a three year mission. After this ends, he resigns his Starfleet commission, and six years later, begins Pon Farr.

As an aside, it’s really funny that in this episode, Harry says to Janeway that the nebula they were seeing wasn’t the same as the one the Excelsior saw eighty years ago, which means Janeway should be aware Tuvok’s over 100, so her birthday wish to him later in the show is even more wrong.

Anyways, this makes the absolute youngest Tuvok can be when he starts Pon Farr 38. Another small aside, I did make a post about when the fuck Vulcans start Pon Farr a period ago and mistated Tuvok’s youngest potential at 35 because I forgot about the three year mission. Apologies. Tuvok’s age here is incredibly relevant, however.

He says he and T’Pel raised their four kids during this time between his Starfleet careers. In alpha canon, we only get mention of two of their names. His eldest son, Sek, and his youngest child and only daughter, Asil.

In “Hunters” when Voyager gets their letters, it’s mentioned that Sek has gone into Pon Farr some point in the previous four years, took a wife, and sired a daughter. Now, I’d say that this should put a cap on how old he is considering as far as we know Vulcans go into it in their twenties but who’s to say?

Now, here’s where shit gets annoying as hell and where I think Star Trek writers knew there’d be some nerd thirty years down the line that paid way too close attention and wanted to punish me in particular. Tuvok’s daughter, Asil.

In “Alice”, Paris mentions that Asil was conceived during Tuvok’s eleventh Pon Farr. Don’t ask me how the hell that came up in conversation between them, but it’s mentioned. Here’s the kicker, Tuvok can’t have physically had eleven Pon Farrs by that point. If he was 38 at his first, and with the seven year cycle, his eleventh wouldn’t happen until he was 108, seventy years later.

Let’s go back to my old estimate, and say the Excelsior space docked after the fight with the Klingons and Tuvok got the hell out of dodge. Let’s say he really was 35 when he went into his first Pon Farr. This now allows for Asil to have been conceived while Tuvok and T’Pel were in the same quadrant, but only by a couple years, making Asil about two when Voyager goes missing.

Wow, that sucks. A toddler without her father. But that’s not that complicated, I hear you say. That’s not too much conflicting information, it could be simple as not remembering.

O, ye of little faith.

In “Fury”, Janeway mentions being present for Asil’s kolinahr. Last I checked, two year olds can’t do months in the desert studying alone. Not unless they’re really determined, I guess. Also also, the kolinahr is something adult Vulcans do, so she couldn’t have even been a teenager.

In the episode “Lineage”, Tuvok says that it has been a while since his children were young when Tom goes to him for advice in being a father.

And, just to further make information unclear, in “Once Upon A Time”, Sam Wildman, Paris, and Tuvok are all in a shuttle crash and Wildman gets hurt pretty bad. She starts panicking a little about her young daughter growing up without her mom. Tuvok comforts her by saying his own youngest has been without her father for four years now, but he trusts the people around her to guide her well. Now this may just be me, but I feel like you wouldn’t say that exactly if your daughter was a full blown adult.

Conclusion? I don’t know, man. This show couldn’t keep its head on straight if it was a man shotgunning a Coors Light in the parking lot of a football game.

Star Trek hates me in particular, I think.

[lochyratliffs]

I love that your ask tab is "worship me" :D cracked up. My question is, is Saxon capable of actual introspection and positive change. I have serious doubts.

Sorry if this was already discussed, do you think they will again end up in a sexual relationship/affair? Is there any hope that there can be something functional, it can't be super healthy of course, still?.

thank you, hehehe 💖

i do think he is! one of the biggest themes of the white lotus as an entire show is cycles, never changing, patriarchy/class differences, choices you make leading to outcomes destined to occur by virtue of your choices... but ultimately as humans, we are all capable of change. saxon, in the beginning of the show, is disgusting in a way millions of wealthy men are. he's pretty typical, surface-level. what's not typical is his journey through the season. ultimately, saxon receives the biggest wake-up call of his life, and in real life, this change happens slowly and from within. we are blessed with the knowledge that papa ratliff's crimes mean that saxon is about to be knocked HARD off of his pedestal, whatever form that takes; whether the house is reclaimed, his job is lost, or the family disbands. he's got two choices: change, or double-down. saxon who Doubles Down ends up with like cameron from season two with a wife he resents and kids who aren't his, except (by virtue of a brother, a man who knows him intimately, who confronts him with himself) always with that voice in the back of his head telling him every night he lies awake in bed that he is living a false life. this is compelling to ME.

saxon who changes... well, there's a lot of forms that can take. maybe he joins a yoga class and meets a girl who likes to fix men, and he never tells her about thailand and he never tells her about chelsea's books and she never meets saxon's brother, who moved to NYC for college and never looked back. maybe he has a breakdown at work and he gets six weeks off for mandated therapy and rehab that he thinks is a waste of time but ends up being as honest as he can, anyway, because he's never been able to help himself, moves to canada, and never speaks to his family again, unable to face his experience and eager to start somewhere with a fresh last name (and a huge pay-cut, pretty-boy).

maybe he visits the ratliff family lake house for christmas and they talk carefully around his father. maybe, in this timeline, he and lochlan end up alone when mother drags piper off to meet the blond scion of a less radioactive family name than they have, and saxon stares carefully at the chandelier he watched a team of contractors install when he was six years old, when his father stood tall with his arms crossed, when he didn't have a brother, and lochlan asks how is your new-- job? going? because he doesn't know fucking anything about his brother, and saxon doesn't know how to answer, in this new world, where he's started to seriously consider life being a test to make him a better person, so he says good. it's good. maybe lochlan says okay, like he's answering a question saxon doesn't know he asked. maybe saxon looks at him, then, and lochlan says-- nothing, but an understanding passes between them the way it did in a room on a boat in another country, and they wordlessly head outside to the bunk house. maybe they kiss, or they don't, and one or both of them cry, and saxon holds lochlan's chin in his hand and thinks about their matching teeth, lochy's jawline something he got from his grandfather, and they collapse together the way they maybe could have months ago if saxon had been honest and terrible. maybe lochlan says it's okay, i want this, and saxon wants to scream, or maybe instead he says i don't-- blame you--, and saxon leaves and never looks him in the eyes again, even at saxon's wedding with no best man, or maybe lochlan says nothing but he sees him and they do kiss, while saxon comes and lochlan's hungry mouth takes advantage. maybe, years later, they speak honesty into each other's temples in a condo in another state where "ratliff" means exactly nothing at all.

[eldragon-x]

An aromantic reading of Deltarune and Kris Dreemurr

Pretty much what it says on the tin, just my interpretation of how the game and characters, especially chapter 2 and Kris, interact with romance, and how it coincides with the overall themes.

I've been meaning to write an essay like this for months and am trying to finally get it out less than a week before the next chapters of Deltarune come out.

Because of the time pressure, this isn't as throughout as I would've liked it to be and doesn't include screenshots, but I thought it's better to get my rough idea out than not at all, and I was afraid this might become even more daunting to write if I wait and the new chapters have even more material for this topic.

Warning for discussion of abuse and incest in relation to Snowgrave Route and speculation around Ralsei's relation to Asriel.

So, choice, autonomy, freedom, and lack thereof are some of the major themes in Deltarune that are reflected in the characters in various ways. I'm going to focus on the party members we had so far (Kris, Susie, Ralsei, and Noelle) specifically for the sake of this topic.

Kris lacks autonomy due to quite literally being controlled by the player via the soul. The exact how or why are unclear, but we do know that we are capable of acting against Kris' will and there have so far been three occassions of Kris removing the soul from their body in order to act without the players influence or knowledge.

Ralsei lacks autonomy because he is dedicated to a script. His entire purpose revolves around bringing the Deltarune prophecy to fruition, he insists Susie fight on his and Kris' side for it, he brushes it off when Susie points out how strange the Spamton Neo fight was, and he's shocked when things don't go how they're "supposed to" during the Snowgrave route.

On top of that, he's - for lack of a better word - a huge doormat, towards Kris/the player especially. Suggesting Kris should try to be merciful on their journey, but clearly only keeping it a suggestion. Offering that Kris can hit him if they want in response to them attacking his dummy?? Just generally being willing to put aside his morals and wellbeing for the player to a concerning degree.

Noelle lacks autonomy because she lacks the courage to stand up for herself and considers herself weak and helpless. She says Kris and Rudy are the only people she's able to say no to, her percieved powerlessness against Queen potentially reflects Noelle's concerning relationship with her mother, and through the Cyber City she relies on Kris to guide her and show her how the dark world works which is taken to an extreme in Snowgrave.

Susie on the contrary, is a character I would say represents freedom and choice in a way. She shuts down the player's choices and goes against the script on several occassions which makes her a strong foil to Ralsei. She first rejects her role of a hero of legend and instead joins Lancer, she's kinda weirded out by Ralsei's speech about how Darkners find fulfillment by assisting Lightners, she causes herself and Ralsei to be able to act, and she drags Ralsei along with her on the split path, questioning why everything should be up to Kris, the protagonist.

-

With that established, I now want to talk about Kris' relationships with these characters, especially in chapter 2.

Noelle and Kris are established to be childhood friends who drifted apart at some point.

It's significant that one of the important steps in the Snowgrave Route involves Noelle being unsure if they can even still call each other friends, saying they're "something else", and have Noelle think there's no good interpretation of that.

The Snowgrave Route is the Noelle Romance Route where you, essentially, force these two into the "childhood friends to lovers" trope.

People have already pointed out how Kris' and Noelle's dynamic in Snowgrave is framed like an abusive marriage. Noelle's main weapon here is a ring obtained through implying she and Kris are in a romantic relationship. Noelle relies on Kris to get "stronger" which only causes her to become more hesitant to speak up and afraid of losing control again afterwards. This is also so far the most blatant instance of characters noticing the player's presence in some way with Noelle talking about how Kris has been acting odd recently and they're unrecognizeable to her.

And, I might read too much into this, but I feel like there's something to be said about how the Kris + Noelle section of this route ends with Berdly - Noelle's closest friend who genuinely tries to look out for her when he notices she's in a bad situation - being frozen by Noelle. Friends are always second best when there is romance.

-

I wouldn't exactly call the normal route of chapter 2 the Ralsei Romance Route but it is the only route where Acid Tunnel of Love happens and I consider it sort of an equivalent to Snowgrave Kriselle when it comes to the romance aspect.

We don't exactly know how Kris feels about Ralsei, but they don't seem very fond of him, while Ralsei is almost desperate to please Kris and/or the player using Kris as a vessel, and is implied to have a crush on them/us.

And, I'm going to be blunt, having a character who is supposed to remind us of Kris' brother be implied to crush on Kris is a weird choice.

I've seen people say that these elements don't co-exist. That Acid Tunnel of Love doesn't actually have romantic undertones because Ralsei is supposed to resemble Asriel, or that Ralsei doesn't actually resemble Asriel because Acid Tunnel of Love has romantic undertones. But I just don't think that's true and it would feel insincere to me to try to "solve" this problem.

To be clear, I personally don't think Ralsei is Asriel or even has any familial relation to the Dreemurrs. What really matters to me here is that these elements are there and we currently lack the full context and maybe we just have to sit with the uncertainty and discomfort of it.

More precisely, we have to sit in the discomfort of it alongside Kris themselves, who rather cruelly has to sit through this ride, hearing Ralsei say that it's nice that they're themselves, and potentially comply with the players choice to hug Ralsei even though we know they don't like hugs, because we think it's cute.

-

Kris' relationship with Susie is very important. They seem to be closer to each other than anyone else really which is kind of wild when you remember they were still on bad terms a day ago.

I've mentioned how Susie represents the freedom of choice the most out of the main cast in my eyes, ironically partially because she takes away choices from Kris. But, seeing from a meta perspective that she's really taking away choices from the player, I believe she can become a gateway to agency for Kris, seeing how much she genuinely cares for them and how Kris themselves seems to trust her.

The ending of chapter 2 stands out to me in the context of romance in Deltarune and what it means for Kris and Susie. Specifically, when she asks who Kris would take to the upcoming town festival: Noelle or Ralsei. The two people who Kris is forced to have a "romance route" with depending on which route you play.

If you choose either of them, Kris will say it in a confused way and Susie insists that she meant nothing weird by it. If you don't respond, Kris stares at Susie "like a weirdo" and she insists she was just joking.

But if you pick Susie, there is no indicator that this is something Kris wouldn't say nor brings them discomfort. Susie complains that they're dodging the question and of course she'd be there if they went.

-

In conclusion, chapter 2 puts Kris in romantic situations which are clearly forced one way or another. Romance is "inevitable" and all characters involved lack autonomy in some way.

Susie is a character who has a lot of freedom comparatively, is never forced into a romantic situation with Kris, and Kris seems to be the most comfortable around her.

None of this inherently makes Kris aromantic of course, but it stands out how the narrative of chapter 2 seems to force romance upon them, partially through the player's hand, and frames it as something uncomfortable. And I would be surprised if this doesn't become a pattern in future chapters.

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Some things I don't know where else to bring up:

I don't really know where to fit Berdly in the big themes of autonomy and freedom, but I want to note that he also looks up to Susie and I think him "crushing" on Noelle, realizing he actually just admired her as a friend, and then "crushing" on Susie as soon as he gains respect for her is extremely closeted aro teenager behaviour.

I'm not sure what this all means for Suselle specifically, so far the game has played them rather straight, but I defenetly think their relationship is gonna go through a lot and be further developed throughout the game.

[oliviasroses19]

Just thinking about how happy I am that we got a more complex, deeper friendship with show!polin. I did enjoy the book, don’t get me wrong. But at the start, book!polin was pretty one sided on Penelope’s part. We know she loves Colin literally from the first page, but Penelope was what feels like an afterthought for Colin. It’s only when he returns from his tour and spends more time with her that he starts seeing her as a friend. He said it himself, they were acquaintances, and only more recently does he consider them being friends. He went from liking her company to Colin “my wife” Bridgerton real quick (this form of Colin exists in both bridgerton universes, thank GOD). Their story feels more like acquaintances to lovers in my opinion.

What makes show!Polin so magical, and I’m sure is the true reason for the choke hold they have on us, is the fact that we got to see their history as childhood friends develop to best friends and then to lovers. We can see the love Pen has for Colin from the start, and while he hasn’t come to his senses yet, he clearly adores her in the beginning as well.

Then we have the letters. My dear, sweet, completely inappropriate letters (only in regard to the lack of propriety). Yet another contrast between show and book Polin. Their letters truly fortify their friendship to the viewer and add even more magic to their story. Penelope is eager to talk to the man she loves and she is elated that he wants to talk to her too. And Colin gets the space to be himself in these letters. Penelope has never once made him feel silly for his rambling about the places he’s visiting while his family doesn’t shy away from brushing him off or chastising him for talking about his travels. He knows that there is at least one person back home that is excited to hear from him. His heartache confusion over not hearing from her on his second tour only solidifies how dear her letters and friendship are to him. Penelope plays such a large part in his life, he spirals when he thinks he lost her friendship. “Is there something wrong, Pen? Between us, I mean” gets me every time 😭.

We see the yearning from Pen for two seasons, see her protect and love Colin in secret, and heartbreakingly see her give up hope that he will ever love her in that way. We also get to see Colin look for her at every social assembly, protect Pen multiple times, and when he FINALLY realizes his feelings aren’t completely platonic, we see his own yearning. This makes the entire journey all the more gratifying for the viewer.

I can’t believe it sometimes that we finally made it. We got our Polin endgame. It’s been a long few years but those years just made the reward all the more incredible. The boost of serotonin I get watching them finally end up together is truly unmatched and hasn’t diminished no matter the amount of rewatches/GIFs/fan edits I see.

It’s been 6 months and not a day has gone by that i haven’t thought about my babies finally getting their happily ever after. I cannot, will not, do not want to give up the choke hold these two have on me.

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This post ran away from me but are we really surprised? Thanks for letting me dump out the contents of my brain, y’all are real ones.

[helluvagirlboss]

The False Dichotomy of What Should Be Helluva Boss’s Focus

“It should have just been a silly murder of the week show!”

Vs.

“No the IMP episodes were boring the character drama is more engaging!”

These arguments are two opposing sides of the biggest debate in the Helluva Boss fandom.

There are people who think it should have just stayed a simple murder-of-the-week comedy, that the show lost its edge and turned into a boring soap opera.

And on the flip side there are people who think the more character driven plots make for a better show longterm and that the mission episodes that focus on the business would get stale and boring.

I only joined the fandom back in May of 2024, I’m not a longterm fan but this debate has been going on for as long as I’ve been here, and based on the numerous YouTube videos recommended to me, it’s been going on for even longer than that.

Through it all I have realized what my biggest problem with this debate is.

Why does it have to be one or the other?

There is validity in the first group being annoyed that the business itself had fallen out of focus, but there is also validity in the second group wanting the show to evolve beyond its initial premise.

But for this show to thrive, it needs both the character drama and the relevancy of IMP as a business in the story.

And when I say relevancy of IMP as a business, I am not suggesting we go back to strictly the “murder of the week” format because the show has evolved beyond just the assassinations, but keep IMP as a plot device, let it be the reason the episodes’ plot happens more often than not or at least let it be used as the vehicle for character exploration.

IMP, and by association, Blitz, is the reason characters like Millie, Moxxie, Loona, and Stolas were able to find the strength to leave behind the lives they felt trapped in and why they began their journey to living life the way they want to. Their lives are the way they are because of this business, and that’s why keeping it as a relevant part of the show, even if the missions themselves aren’t the point, is crucial to the story’s narrative.

IMP is what sets them apart, sets Blitz apart, showcasing that imps are more than capable of standing on their own two feet. It is also the reason all the character are here in the story. Let it be relevant to what’s happening in the story. You don’t need an episodic “murder of the week” format to do it.

And speaking of which, on the other side of the spectrum, as much as I love S1, if the show never evolved beyond the “murder of the week” formula, it would have gotten boring and it could have risked turning into a Miraculous Ladybug situation, a show that spent four out of its six seasons going nowhere, and once it realized it had to go somewhere it fumbled the bag super hard.

The show needs both the murder business and the character drama to thrive. It needs the murder business as a plot device to keep the show focused, and it needs the complex character drama to give the show any substance.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, second half of S2 has a much better grasp on balancing both, and episode over episode structure in the second half has a much more logical and focused progression:

“Full Moon” has Stolas give Blitz the means to run his business independent of the grimoire while confessing his feelings to Blitz, something that goes poorly for both of them.

“Apology Tour” is the aftermath of the confession, I’m gonna assume it’s been a month in between considering the calendar in the previous episode and it being Halloween in this one, and Blitz trying to understand what went wrong and make things right, only to make things worse.

“Ghostfuckers” deals with the aftermath of “Apology Tour” in which Blitz completely falls apart, self-destructs, and almost tanks the one thing he is most proud of: his business. But this episode serves to remind him that the business he created allowed people like Millie to thrive and that he needs to cherish it and his friends more.

“Mastermind” is the consequences of all their fuckery, and how dangerously close they come to losing everything. In fact Stolas does end up losing everything because of it, and it all happened because of the deal he and Blitz struck to keep IMP afloat.

And finally “Sinsmas” is the direct aftermath of “Mastermind”, in which Blitz finally gets to bring Stolas into his world and gets to show him the business he created, for better or worse.

While S2B still has flaws in its pacing and tonal inconsistencies, it feels more focused and balances elements of the initial premise with the character drama that kept people intrigued. And I really really hope the writers took what made S2B work and kept that going for S3.

I’m open to discussion if anyone has to to add about this post!