#CHIMP SCREAMS

[lulublack90]

Prompt 17 - Dust

@jegulus-microfic June 17, Word count 585

Previous part First part

James thrust the giant lion teddy into Regulus’s hands. He’d won it at the basketball stall. He beamed happily at Regulus’s stunned face. Remus had a matching look as he stared down at the giant wolf teddy Sirius had pressed into his hands. 

“Thanks,” Regulus finally smiled after he’d collected himself. 

“Thanks,” Remus echoed Regulus. Sirius grinned broadly and tossed James the keys to his car. 

“You know where you’re going,” He said before dragging Remus into the backseat. 

“Ugh,” Regulus groaned. “They’re going to be gross,” James chuckled and led Regulus over to his side of the car. 

“They can’t reach the radio from back there, and I’ve heard that screaming chimps are supposed to be excellent for a driver’s concentration.” His stomach flipped when he saw the devilish look firmly plant itself on his boyfriend’s face. 

“How about something for the ride,” He heard Regulus say cheerily as he walked to the driver’s side of the car. 

James was glad his house was only ten minutes down the road and that the roads were mostly clear because the screaming chimps coming over the speakers and the equally loud screaming chimp in the back seat, cleverly disguised as a man with long black hair, were not good for a driver's concentration. He pulled into the gravelled driveway and crunched his way up to the house, relief flooding over him. 

“Damn, Potter, are you loaded or something?” Remus asked, pushing Sirius back from between the front seats where he’d been trying to reach the radio, fighting against Regulus for the last ten minutes. James felt his neck flush with embarrassment. 

“It’s my parent’s house, but yeah, the family is pretty wealthy. My dad invented the Harmony Hair Range.”

“NO WAY!!!” Sirius shoved Remus aside and yipped excitedly into James’s ear. “That’s what I use!”

“Wow,” Was all Regulus said, as he looked at the outside of the house again. He desperately needed to get them off the subject.   

“Come on, let’s get inside or Mum’s going to come out and drag us in by our hair,” He watched as Sirius automatically gripped his curly hair as though she was already heading towards them. 

He opened the front door and breathed in the smell of his childhood home. He loved this house. It might look immaculate to the untrained eye. Everything was tidy and not a speck of dust to be seen. But James could easily pick out the notch in the door frame where he’d crashed his brand-new bike when he was five. The glass pane on the left that was slightly different to the others where he’d tried to kick his shoe off and sent it sailing through the window, the discolouration in one spot on the ceiling where he’d decided it would be a good idea to test out the coke/mentos theory. It worked, and he’d been grounded for a month.

“Darlings, you're just in time,” Effie called to them as she entered the living room and enveloped each of them in a hug before ushering them into the dining room. James turned and pecked a kiss on her cheek before she could disappear to the kitchen to bring everything through. 

“Do you want a hand, Mum?” He asked quietly. 

“No, sweetheart, you go sit down, I won’t be a moment,” She replied, pushing him gently towards where Regulus was standing awkwardly. “Besides, I think he needs your help more than I do,” She said chuckling before twilling around into the kitchen.   

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[thisdungeonearth]

posts about how guys love to show videos that god could not imagine to the people in their lives are funny and all until there's some men in the comments thinking they're special like *doing ghe arm behind the head aloof shounen guy pose* yeah i just watch videos about failed theme parks and natural disasters i'm pretty weirddd 😅 those are broadly interesting topics and defunctland has 2 million subscribers you chud at least be like the guy i went on a date with who genuinely only watched car crash videos

[somewherefornow]

DETECTIVE CHIMP & KHALID NASSOUR/DOCTOR FATE in JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK (2018)

[mazu-art]

help I love twinks!!!

Rufus Shinra. Babe with slut lips. Rude: Hot bald head with dad bod energy. This is good. Reno: Dumb twink YES!

[toxicroyjamie]

Sam Obisanya is literally trapped in tedlasso and we need to save him

[distortedheart]

ohhh my god just rewatched Nope and im high and god. It's so good I fuckin love that movie it freaks me out so bad it's beautiful

[taibobo]

met & saw dethklok last night and couldn’t have been happier 😭

[okultraoldmanyaoi]

when the content of the favorite ship doesn't appear in front of you. when there's 3 other fans of it and any time you get a taste you realize you've been starved

[sheogorad]

liking someone who is completely unattainable yet who hits basically all the criteria for your type and who constantly does shit to be close to you in ways that have gone from friendly to confusing and intimate and who keeps dropping little nuggets of information that feel like at least semi intentional testing of the waters and who makes your chest hurt and your hair raise and your skin sensitive is a cruel and unusual punishment for developing friendships don't you think

[shoechoe]

I enjoy those posts that refer to instincts of the human mind as "monkey brain" "chimpanzee brain" "gorilla brain" "orangutan brain" (etc.) as though human brains are some blend of all of the other primates and our instincts are like specific primates "talking" to us. I mean that's really not how it works but it's fun to imagine it that way

[doctorwormcore]

im not even joking raul esparza's version of franklin shepard inc literally is sending me insane the neurotic awkwardness of it?? brother i am scrEAMING it down the highway

[maxbytes]

it's to the point that if you expected me to drive down the highway it'd be like putting a caveman on a spaceship and telling him to operate it.

[boxheadpaint]

when im playing a game alone and theres danger i am quiet and stoic, by necessity. when im playing with friends and theres danger i start screaming and sqwuaking like a chimp to communicate over long distance that there is danger and i am distressed. This is because humans are social animals who evolved to live in groups and signal to eachother when herobrine is there

[sheila--e]

im not dong origami anymore fuck this shit bruh 😭😭

[teaboot]

Scene from a mediocre buddy cop comedy in a future where being trans is chill

Serious government guy: So let me get this straight. Your name is Jack Fender, you're a federal agent investigating an international monkey smuggling operation, and you don't have your badge because you were undercover as an Armenian gang member's mail order girlfriend

Straight-laced agent handcuffed to the desk, topless and covered in glitter: Listen, sir, you gotta believe me- just call my partner, he'll tell you everything

Government guy: (Eyes agent's glittery D cup titties)

Handcuffed agent: Come on man, seriously

Government guy: ...Fine. what's his number

Handcuffed agent: It's on my phone

Government guy: (calls partner, puts phone on speaker)

Phone: (rings)

Phone: (immediately picks up to the tinny sound of a guy, completely breathless, running at top speed, followed closely by screaming chimp noises) Jack. Oh thank God it's you. Listen, I lost the briefcase, and the monkeys got my packer

[theonion]

Gesturing wildly with her arms and grunting whenever she spoke, Dr. Jane Goodall returned from her latest expedition with an annoying chimp accent, sources confirmed Monday. “She was there for, like, six weeks, and now she’s acting like it’s totally natural for her to puff out her lips, hit her chest with her fists, and scream unintelligible howls any time we speak,” said research assistant Jake Granger, who noted that ever since Goodall got back from the Congo rainforest, the famed primate researcher had been acting like she’d spent her entire life living as a great ape instead of growing up as a human woman born in Britain.

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