#COMMUNUCATION

[akastore]

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[skeletonsucker]

COMMUNICATE

Cut because it's just me begging a character that isn't even real

Please just

JUST

Fucking COMMUNICATE

Write a note somewhere and just like

Let it be

Leave your phone on the table with the note on the app, pretend to have misplaced it or something

Make sure that bitch CANNOT turn off no matter what NO AUTO OFF

HAVE HIM READ IT BY ACCIDENT

Please PLEASE

JUST TELL HIM

I'm begging you

C O M M U N I C A T E

I need you to

I NEED YOU TO

An idea of fluff turning to angst

inspired by this

Gaz x f!reader

You never understood the saying 'he's too good for me' until you met him.

He was beautiful, his presence alone was ethereal, turning heads to his direction. A smile that brightened the room, voice smooth as silk that made people around him swoon.

He treated you well, so well. He'd have a bouquet everytime he visited you for a date (which was a lot), paid everything without being asked to, pampered you with gifts and affection.

He was perfect.

The kind of man everyone would want to date, to introduce to their parents, the Prince Charming pulled out of a romance novel.

And at first, you felt like the luckiest girl alive.

But then, it started to get to you.

How he was always so effortlessly attractive, and while he always made it clear that he was taken, you couldn't help the lump forming in your throat every time someone couldn't take the hint or just wouldn't take any kind of rejection and kept pestering him.

He put his foot down yeah, pulled you to his side by your waist before leaving the scene, not wanting to start any kind of commotion in public. It should've comforted you, but when it happened so often.. you just couldn't take it anymore.

He was always so well dressed, even if you two were just going for out for a quick grab of greasy burgers. plated shirt with two buttons undone, showing a glimpse of his chest with his dog tag hanging around his neck, simple jeans with a belt that matches his sneakers, making it obvious that he put an effort to his look.

While you were.. well.. you haven't even showered, this was something spontaneous after all. You weren't the kind to be all dolled up all the time.

And he didn't mind it, you appreciated it. But, being out here with him looking like that? made you feel like trash. Made you feel bad for not caring about your own appearance enough.

Even when you tried your best to ignore the judgemental look you got from people by being at his side.

It wasn't his fault so you never said anything about it, it was pathetic of you, you were just so insecure- again, it wasn't his fault.

Before Kyle, you never received flowers. So you were so happy when he first got you one, and another, then another.

Then, you realized that you don't like flowers that much, what do you do with it after anyway? you've looked up how to take care of it in the internet because why would you throw them all out? it would be evil of you to throw gifts away. And it should be flattering, you should be happy to take care of every stem, but.. you didn't like how you barely have any surface in your flat that wasn't occupied with vases.

Though, you still tried to smile whenever he got you another bouquet.

He liked to take you out to fancy restaurants. It was very romantic of him. But.. those things isn't really your cup of tea for a perfect date. Being in that scene made you antsy, couldn't have your foot up to the seat as you had to act proper, got you fidgeting in your dress, eating slowly so as to not mess up your makeup.

Again, you've never said anything about it, because how could you when he looked so proud of himself, when he clearly put a lot of effort into preparing such a perfect date just for you?

Kyle felt like he always tried to be a perfect boyfriend, so he didn't understand it when you mumbled under your breath about wanting a break from this relationship.

[agnesandhilda]

my newest essay on bnha quirk hypotheticals: why I think shinsou hitoshi could mind control someone with sign language (and more generally, any other second language) AS LONG AS he and the person he's talking to are both fluent in it

[ruinix]

can dark quinn fuck reader while she's asleep?

🚩Hi. Dark content here. 🚩

Lovely, hey there. So. Um.. dark!quinn...just a lil thot, okay? 😶‍🌫️🫣 First, lil confession, I wanna be claimed just like that y'know. Yes, I am a whore. Anyway...this is more of a ramble. My head is a mess. Also...don't ask if it's gotten too long. This did not happen. Don't come for me. This is truly dark. You've been warned.

TW/CW: 18+ MDNI, Smut, Dark, Non-con, Somnophilia (not communicated kinks; make sure if you communucate what you wanted to explore and do with your partner!!), Drugging (sleeping supplements and pills), Manipulation, Deranged + Controlling behavior, 🚩

You were always a heavy sleeper. Sure, you had trouble sleeping, but once you were out, you were out. Quinn knew that. He would be a bad boyfriend if he didn't.

Afterall, he was the one who always woke up first for his early practice, the one who tried to pry your vice-like grip every time, the one who tried banging the cabinets during the morning to make sure, to constantly test your sleep. The one who touched your pussy through your panties until your arousal slicked it, until soft moans escaped your lips.

Then came the problem. You would rouse, stirring then slowly wake up, before he could make you come, before he could further his debauchery. Fucking always.

You would be so confused, too sleep-drunk, too innocent that you would just assume Quinn's cuddling you.

Even for so long, you never put two and two together. Not a clue with his touches. With his lack of care that he never asked for your consent through these acts. Well, why would he need such a thing when he owned you? Every single fiber of your being was his.

Your body that could no longer reach the heights of an orgasm without his touch. The number of times you came running towards him with tears of frustration in your eyes because no matter what you do--no matter what toy or technique--you couldn't come. The number of times you called him whining while he was on a road trip because you got so horny, yet you couldn't do a single fucking thing to help yourself.

Your mind that couldn't choose anything for yourself. Always seeking his opinion. Before, you would just go out with your friends whenever you like. Now, you preferred staying home just because Quinn planted seeds of doubt about your friends not being good for you, about them only using you because of how sweet you were, which were all not false. They were using you to get to him. You were so naive to see through their elaborate trap, so Quinn easily manipulated the circumstances that you had to break off the friendships. You didn't need them anyway. Not when you have him.

Not all of your friends were using you though. Some were good. Too good, too fucking nosy, trying to get you to see how twisted he was. Quinn can't have that, so he got rid of them too. Threats. Blackmail. He did it all, making you think they just dropped you, which made you more needy for his company.

Your soul that sang with his. So bright and innocent when you stared at hum like he hung the moon. So adorable when he fucked you so hard that he left you sore for days with bruises painting your neck, your hips, your thighs, and everywhere else. Still, you looked at him with heart-shaped eyes.

You've been such a perfect girl to love, fuck, and manipulate. So perfect, really. Except you kept waking up when it was about to be more interesting. When he was about to consume you in a different fucking level. When all he wanted was for you to come around him while you were still in dream-fucking-land. Was that too much of an ask?

So, Quinn moved.

He took his time researching things that would keep you asleep. He acted like a damned insomniac, going to a shrink and telling him he needed something to help him sleep, expertly twisting the truth, emphasizing he needed something to get him to sleep throughout the night. It was so easy. One trip to the pharmacy, he got his prescription along with bottles of melatonin and magnesium.

Getting you to drink the supplements was simple. Your eyes were twinkling as you take it as him being concerned with you. You happily take them. No questions. Not a single doubt or concern. You just take and take. Everything he gave you.

Quinn was always patient. Always bidding his time. He won't use his supposed prescription yet. Touching and testing if the supplements were enough. They were not. Therefore, he used them, telling you he saw a better additional supplement.

He waited and waited for your protest, even a question on what the fuck it is because one would normally ask, but alas, you said:

"Okay."

Then you grinned at him with such innocence that Quinn wondered how on earth did you survived this cruel world. No matter. He was here to keep you safe from anything else but him. He loved the pureness you offer. So pure that he must corrupt.

He watched. Within minutes, you were out like a light. Your body was in a supine position under the blankets, your chest moving with your every breath. Like a princess. His very own sleeping beauty.

One tug, the sheets were off. He could see the goosebumps on your skin, your nipples hardening under your silk night gown. He ran his hands over your thighs, spreading them, pushing the fabric up and up and up, exposing your lace panties. Slowly, he touches your clothed pussy, feeling along your folds, teasing your clit down to your entrance and back up.

Soft. You were so soft and getting so drenched. The need to smell you overtook him, not giving a shit anymore if the drug would actually keep you asleep. He just hooked one thigh over his shoulder, pressing his nose on your pussy and smelled your feminine musk. So divine as he started to lick over the lace.

Just one taste and he lost it. Like a feral beast who had not eaten for days, he licked and sucked and nipped, almost laughing as he heard your little whines, preening at how your hips jerked so slightly. Then he stared right at your face, waiting for you to wake but you didn't. Fuck yes.

He could barely think straight anymore. He tore your panties, slapping his cock against your quivering pussy, rubbing himself on you until he was coated by your arousal as his pre-cum dripped down his length. The way your thighs twitched, your eyebrows frowning, your barely there 'hmmm'. Everything etched in his brain. As he slowly sank his cock into your pulsing heat.

He fucked you slowly. Every thrust was full and deep. Your tits moved, bouncing, luring him in for a taste, so he indulged. Using his teeth to tug the neckline of your nightgown then he sucked your pebbled peak. One by one. he could feel your walls spasming for a mini orgasm. So adorable.

Your troubled moans filled his brain. He could basically feel your body trying to wake up, could feel the dream your mind was showing you. He was also fucking you in your dream, wasn't he? How hard was he going? Were the pathetic sounds coming out of you supposed to be your pleas to fuck you harder?

He supposed they were. What else could they be? You were always such a slut. It must be maddening for you not to get what you wanted.

"I know, my love. I know," he whispered in your ear, groaning when your pussy squeezed so tight around him that he almost came. "Let's take our time, okay? Fuck. We got the whole night."

It didn't matter to Quinn if he had to wake up for a morning skate. He would take his fucking time. He was already so fucking confident that his team would win. They always seemed to win whenever he touched you during your sleep. Now that he was fucking you, maybe it could be an easy victory. Fuck, he hoped it would be. Even if they lose, there was no way he wouldn't do this again.

Languidly, he rolled his hips as his hands gripped your hips wider, opening you up.

Then he started to get rougher. His hips bucking into you to claim you brutally. He wanted you to be so confused about why you're so sore in the morning, wanted you to feel so horrified about the new kiss marks he was leaving all over your chest, your collarbone, your neck. He wanted to see you panic when you see the handprint bruises on your thighs.

Those images of you all rattled and horrified filled his mind. He couldn't stop smiling as he pressed down your lower abdomen, his thumb softly rubbing circles around your clit until you come so hard, your lips parting, yet you didn't wake up. He kept whispering praises into your ear, chuckling at the little sniffles coming out of you because he wouldn't stop his thrusts, wouldn't stop playing with your sensitive clit.

"Give me another one, my Love. Just one. Then we'll stop," he teased into your lips, kissing you without care even if you didn't kiss back. It was exactly how he wanted. Just you in the palm of his hands. Just you being fucked by him because he could. Just like his very own sex toy. "I promise."

He lied and lied and lied.

He wouldn't stop.

Why would he?

He could only grip your skin, short nails digging into your tender flesh. When you came again, he did too, spurting deep into your pussy, kissing and licking your neck, praising you over and over again. He took his time to recover. Then he would do it again and again. The same fucking lie would escape his lips.

His sweat would drip down your sweaty body. His cum would be pooling under your ass. Your pussy would be red and raw from overuse. Your skin would be marked by bruises already darkening, reddening. He would be so greedy at the sight of you not waking up. Totally under his mercy. The night wouldn't be over, yet he was already planning the next time to do this.

He tried to stop at least. He was getting too exhausted after a couple of hours of partaking you. Hell, he almost fainted after he came so hard, but he couldn't. He needed more and more. He could only turn you both sideways, lazily fucking into you. His cum would already become too watery, too diluted, too spent.

He would only stop when he could no longer give you anything. Still, he couldn't be satiated. He would crawl down your body to start cleaning you with his tongue. Tasting the mix of your cum and his. Smelling what he has done. It was all so divine.

He did his best with the clean-up. He replaced your nightgown and panties, wiped away the sweat. Even managed to change the fucking sheets with his shaky legs.

After tucking you in with his arms around you, he passed out. Only to wake up the next fucking hour. It was time to fucking work.

Work he did, grinning and laughing to himself when you called midday, sobbing because your body fucking ached.

Sorry. This is nothing but a figment of your imagination, i fear. I didn't write this. The parasites in my head did. They were having a protest because I was reading an extremely wholesome romance fantasy book. They needed something dark so they took over my keyboard. 🤧😔

-> more thoughts? Dark List. Want to be notified? Join my taglist!

[kishibe-kisser]

You fall asleep on their shoulder (Suguru Geto, Nanami Kento, Aoi Todo)

They have a major crush on you and you fall asleep on their shoulder.

Suguru Geto: He wasn't the most fond of you, it wasn't a secret to anyone around. At least that was what he lead everyone to believe, even you. No matter how kind you were, it only seemed to anger him more and you just couldn't figure out why. You felt like he truly hated you, so much so even sitting next to him made you uncomfortable.

Though these were the car seats that were left and you found yourself smiling at Geto none the less. You couldn't be mean to him even if you tried, even though he rolled his eyes and looked the other way. His broad shoulders pressed into yours, not giving you a lot of space in your seat. It didn't bother you but you couldn't imagine how much he was disturbed at simply having to touch you.

You couldn't have been more wrong, his heart was pounding in his chest and he was trying his hardest not to look at you. He was always wondering how you could be so nice to him when he felt he didn't deserve it. Those thoughts ran through his mind as he tried to look at anything except for you. He had to try his best to not flinch when he felt your head drop on his shoulder.

Geto turned his head slowly, looking at you sound asleep on his shoulder. His heart rate increased once more, taking in just how comfortable you looked using him as a pillow. It made him think about allowing this to happen more often, maybe allowing himself to soften around you. He may have not deserved you being so kind to him, but you most definitely deserved the kindness in return.

"You deserve more than I can give you."

Nanami Kento: Kento would have been lying to himself if he said he didn't feel anything for you. Watching someone work as a sorcerer wasn't something he had felt as being attractive, not until he met you. Your fighting style was graceful, like a dance almost and when you were made to be his partner, he was relieved to see you knew what you were doing.

He would never act on his feelings, though. No, it was unprofessional to do so. So he would admire from afar and instead of doing something romantic like would prefer too, he'd step up and do his job if he saw you needed saving. It was the most he could do for you and he would do the most for you.

The job had come to a close and you were both waiting to debrief, exhaustion and pain slowly setting into your bodies from the grueling fight that you had barely survived. You were exhausted to say the least, goosebumps coating your skin leaving you to shiver. It seemed like second nature, to lean into Nanami. His body heat and large stature being comforting as you dozed off.

He was aware of what was happening, the light weight of your head dropping on his shoulder and he knew he should have woken you up. He just couldn't bring himself to do so, leaning down a little further so you could get more comfortable. Normally he wouldn't do this, give in to his emotions like this. But he was tired too, physically, emotionally and he needed the comfort too.

"Just for a few minutes, just a few. Only because today was hard."

Aoi Todo: Todo was anything but quiet. The man was outspoken, said the first thing on his mind always. It was the way he was with everyone, everyone except you. He was bubbly and open with everyone but closed off the second you came around. Todo just didn't know how to act around you, to him you were even prettier than Takada.

For a change, you and Todo were sent to fight a curse and while you knew he was good at the job, you were worried. You hadn't worked together much and well, he didn't communicate with you like he did with the rest of the team. It couldn't be so bad right? If he just hardly talked to you at all, it wouldn't slip that he liked you, right? Well while that was technically true, the lack of communucation nearly got you killed.

He wracked with regret, looking at you sitting silently next to him. You might have been fine in the end, hardly a scratch on you but Todo was tenser than ever. Simply watching you as you started to drift off in the car next to him. You rested your head on his shoulder and mumbled something before fully falling asleep. "It's not your fault Todo."

His heart pounded in his chest, wrapping a comforting arm around you and pulling you further into him. You still trusted him enough to sleep on him and you didn't blame him for what happened. Todo knew he was being stupid about this, letting this effect the way he worked. When you woke up, he'd talk to you, but for now he'd let you rest as an apology.

"I should have been protecting you out there, not risking your life with my stupidity."

A/N: my first jjk reaction. I hope you all enjoy it! Remember my JJK requests are open, check my pinned post for the rules.

Send me a request!

[ohmycale]

I read your argument post and I read the same opinions online. I would like to ask if you considered that Deruth might have hestitant to communucate his feelings because he mught lose his relationship with Cale. I agree with the opinions that communication is important but shouldnt Cale also communicate his father?

Also, you cant deny that Cale wasnt the best person in his version in the story. He was called a trash for a reason.

I also feel that you keep Violan, Basen and Lily out? Do you not consider them as Cale's family? Why or why not?

Anyway, interested on what you think

My take on this:

Deruth is the adult. Cale is the child. It doesnt matter how many times have passed. That is their relationship and their dynamic. It is the duty of the adult/parent to care for the child and assume all the heavy lifting in the relationship until Cale himself is an adult. The main reason is that in the end, it is the adult/Deruth who brought Cale into this world and is tasked to guide said Cale - not the other way around. And Deruth's problems or flaws will affect Cale no matter what. I also like to highlight that almost all power and authority resides in Deruth as a parent and adult in all ways - good or bad.

ETA: There is a line in Sekiro by the last boss - Hesitation is defeat. It's fine to hesitate - as long there is also an acceptance of the risk with the choice. In this case, the growing gap and distance between the two, the continuation of resentment or other negative feelings Cale has for the relationship. While distant is not yet formed as full rejection here, constant isolation and uneasiness in the relationship are good ingredients to maybe a permanent no contact with each other in the future. TLDR - Hesitate at your own risk.

re:Cale communicaitng. Sure, Cale can talk. The issue is - is he comfortable enough with his relationship with Deruth to actually communicate his true feelings? Deruth distanced himself and Cale would have definately felt that. Deruth was given a wide berth due to his grief and his remarriage - assuming it helped him cope in his roles. But his relationship with Cale never did recover pre-Jour's death because rifts and gaps formed during the distance. So, if there are already gaps and issues, do you think Cale would be comfortable bringing his concerns without being accused of destroying/delaying Deruth's happiness? If this is the case, shouldnt be the parent/adult be the one who gives reassurance, love and all those things that help them reconcile and their relationship grow? Or is it another burden for the child who has to hide his own authentic self because he already experienced being isolated and hurt from the person who is supposed to give him unconditional love?

2nd question - He wouldnt need to be a trash if his own father protected his new family over the status he inherited.

For the third question - Violan and her children are his stepfamily. Deruth chose them for himself - not for Cale. Stepfamily dynamics are complex and way more complicated vs bio/nuclear family. There are many issues but I would say that Cale cared for them because his father brought them in Cale's life. One argument (reflected in real life) is since they made Deruth happy, Cale should be happy that his father is happy because of them. In a morbid sense, it can implied that post-Jour, Cale wasnt able to give his father happiness or him being enough for Deruth to move on from grief (not that he is supposed to in the first place). In way, Cale deserves them than his father but his link to them is very weak. The Henituse is a classic high-functioning dysfunctional blended family.

I know many people hate the prefix of 'step' and 'half' - but in the 10yrs that this family has been doing, there has been no evidence they came together or act as one unit. It's always Cale or Deruth + Violan (& OFC Basen and Lily). Violan will side by her husband and take Deruth's lead (wrongly or rightly) because she did marry him (you dont marry children, I cant fathom why she did marry this man but I digress) and Basen and Lily would side with their parents. So, I dont think they are a family - they are people who live in the same place and trying to get along like roommates. Besides, it seems that Deruth + Cale isnt considered as a family in its own right.

Hope this satisfies your interest and ask away again if I left out something...

[transsexual-terabyte]

thanks. n sorry

cqn som3one leave front . what are you all doing here

[fipindustries]

This is probably the apex of hubris but i have worked in the past doing costumer service and i have been taking and interpreting calls where im the intermediary for customer service and i feel i might just have the right temperament for it.

I really like sorting problems out for people, i like being bestowed with the power of the one who will guide you but only if you stick to the protocol that i will ensure to enforce with an iron fist and a polite smile. I like reading from scripts, i like that there is a structure for me to hang on to.

i like clarifying communucation issues, i love repeating things as slowly and as many times as needed. I like figuring out the puzzle of how im going to make sure this information is conveyed to the client in a way they understand it. and i tend to be oblivious to other peoples moods

If im uncharitable to myself it is probably because of the power rush i get because in the client/worker dynamic i am the one who gets to set the pacing of the conversation. No sir, you will slow the fuck down and spell your name again, im getting paid for this and have nowhere else to go so i can be here all morning.

[markrosewater]

In the interest of Wotc playing attention to non-commander formats, has there ever been talk of taking away format staples for a brief period of time? As long its communucated effectively that the cards are not banned forever I'd like to see what legacy looks like without Daze for like 3 months, or modern without Force of Negation for a season or so. I like that vintage saw the unrestriction of Ponder as a way to shake up the format, and want that for other formats as well.

I have pitched the idea of a “penalty box” where cards get sidelined for a specific amount of time, but it’s never gained traction.

[nonspeakerlibrary]

Imagine if someone else, like a landscaper who has been educated by those who cultivate formal gardens, decides how you should communucate, and then enforces that decision, stamping out whatever errant shoots creep out of you, and which she sees as weeds. Imagine if your communication system, instead of growing in fertile ground, is constructed in a lab and forcibly buried in you in place of what was already growing but fervently opposed. Imagine if your efforts to communicate and connect — because it is all one thing — elicit not excited reciprocity but measurement, evaluation, strict weeding, and control.

I’m not saying text-based AAC is better than grid-based. I’m not saying any kind of chunk of a communication system is better than any other kind of chunk. I’m not saying to push for that instead of this. I’m saying that a communication system must be one that takes root in the ground where it will live, and that allows for the fullest expression possible of what the ground already contains.

I am saying when you plan in advance how someone else will communicate, you plan what they will communicate, and then it ceases to be communication. When you enforce a particular way of communication and relentlessly prune anything that does not meet your standards, then what should have become, perhaps, a powerful redwood is trained into a bonsai instead; and a bonsai, however artistically presented, cannot do the work of a tree that has grown as its own nature commanded it. What should have been, perhaps, sorrel, harassed by the controlling landscaper because it is not the violets she wishes it to be, will have leaves so damaged that they cannot absorb the sunshine of connection. And when the landscaper beams at the parents and proclaims, “Nothing worthwhile would have grown here without my efforts, so celebrate this withered stem I have coaxed from earth that was once overrun by weeds!” it is cause for grief, not gratitude.

[timidxtempted]

breathe, he says.

let the feelings wash over you...

ok. it's just

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW.

i mean, i'm trying. i'm learning. but i don't feel my feelings, ok? i think them. i think them, then i decide if they are valid to feel, then (since i decide they are rarely valid enough to feel) i think them away.

it's a system i've used for a long time and it works perfectly well and i don't know why i have to change it now, thankyouverymuch.

(i do know)

except he forces me feel things because he takes away the thinking part and all i'm left with is the feeling part and i don't know what the feelings are at first but i'm learning what each feeling feels like as it comes but sometimes i am very confused and i can't recognize it right away and how can i learn what a feeling feels like until i identify it and then can tell him and properly communucate to him what i'm feeling when he asks me?

i've only ever known what anxiety and fear and doubt and shame feel like, because they all feel like fists. anxiety is the fist just below my solar plexus squeezing until it tries to kill me. fear and panic is the fist in my chest beating it's way out. shame is the fist at the back of my head. doubt is the icky fist in the pit of my stomach. i'm very aware of those.

but now i have other feelings GOOD feelings and i know what they feel like. i know how they feel inside me without thinking about them, i just feel them. i know them now! i do! i recognize them!

i know that happy feels like warmth in my chest and tingles in my pussy that are different from aroused and happy feels like fingers trailing down the back of my neck or across my cheek. i know that happy feels like if sunshine came from somewhere in my chest and that it feels like my chest isn't big enough to contain it but not in a painful way, in the way that makes me feel like it glows so much other people can see it.

i know what unbridled silly joy feels like! it feels like an ache in my cheeks from smiling and a tickle in my throat from the laughter and the prickle of tears in my eyes that feel like the happy in my chest overflowing.

i know what fun fear feels like now too! it does not feel like a fist. it feels like a breath blown over my lower neck, the hairs standing up and electrifiying my senses and it feels like a half smile tugging at my lips the same time my heartbeat hitches up, and my body becomes sensitized all over and my cunt twitches if it's daddy scaring me

i know what peaceful feels like! that one took me longer. it took me a lot of tries to figure it out, but i did! peaceful feels like nothing and everything all at the same time. peace feels like hearing my heartbeat and feeling it steady and strong in my chest but feeling it because i am listening for it, not because i'm trying to escape it. peace feels like blue. it feels like my oldest warmest softest sweater, except i'm wearing it on the inside.

i know what safe feels like. safe feels like peace and happy together but it also feels a little like awe. it feels like looking out over the most beautiful sunrise and feeling the colours in my heart, the warmth spreading out just like the hues split the sky.

and today i know what relief feels like. i know what it feels like to have the weight of something lifted from me and i know that relief might mean tears too and that's ok, especially if i didn't know how heavy it had been weighing on me. relief feels like that deep breath i take where it seems like my lungs shouldn't be able to hold that much air, and relief feels like stepping out of wet socks into thick, dry carpet and relief feels a little like joy and peace, too.

but i didn't know that until today.

but next time i will know it. and i will feel it, instead of think it. and i will be able to let that feeling wash over me and be proud because i've learned to bypass the part of this where i tell myself that i don't get to feel those things.

i can add one more thing to the list of things i don't have to over-think or only-think about any more. and it's scary sometimes not having any idea what i'm actually feeling versus what i think i should be feeling, and it's frustrating and i'm such a fucking pain in the ass TRUST i know

but i'm trying so hard

honest i am

but damn.

patience is as fucking hard for me as words sometimes.

this was not easy to write and it was written as a diary entry.

i am choosing to share it because reasons.

if you have negative things to say, i implore you to keep that shit to yourself.

thank you.

[daily-les-mis-quotes]

They are allergic to healthy communucation

[selfcare-slenderman]

...so... since you're here... do you have any advice on how to fix things with Sera when she comes back a potential future partner?

-Des

i mean... communucation and mutual respect is always a good answer

[hellcifrogs]

Anon who started the its kinda creepy everyone smiling.

I'm not saying you can't have all smiles i said i know your fixing some of the problems, there isn't any conflict is what im saying i know if i have thoughts i should keep them to myself but this isn't me downing you or your AU i was just making note that things were too happy to be in a ninja world where killing is a thing and you made some of my favorite characters live yes but there is not enough problems or conflict, i love happy aus but somethings gotta happen ya know what im saying? if not just ignore me i was just speaking wasn't trying to put you down or out.

No, it's okay. Look, I skip fights. Most of them I try to go around them to make my job easier when drawing. We've seen the fights already, all I need is for people to understand the fights happen.

Kiba still fought Sakon but I didn't draw any that, I can't redraw everything, even the fights I do draw sometimes I wish I could make them longer, but I physically can't lol

That out of the way, let me honestly ask what about Kabuto and the Sound village? The edo tenseis? Gaara being targeted? These are some conflicts I have ongoing rn. What about Sasuke's trouble after losing Shisui? And Naruto feeling like he doesn't fit? The animal clans discrimination that keep Shikamaru of all people traveling all the time? The Sand village terrorists? Danzou is also still out there.

I do love keeping the constant happy faces, that is my favorite part and that is what I wanted to see... family 7, kids with better support and communucation skills, good guy Orochimaru earlier on, most people live AU... But I gotta say it does sting to hear 'no problems or conflict', because I'm not gonna make it perfect and manage the same 'ninja world' stake levels, but as happy and cute as it is I do put effort in making the AU make sense as a whole.

[hpdfag]

i hope he still loves me even though im so paranoid and speaking is difficult when im not all there i hope he still cares even though im unsightly and hard to communucate with im terrible and ugly and annoying but i hope he still loves me, loves me for me for me and not for what i can give him or how interesting i am i hope i can feel safe being boring one day

[chickenbutts-posts]

Today I realized that the reason I'm such a people pleaser, I never know when to set boundaries, I go completely silent when I'm mad instead of screaming or yelling, I feel an overwhelming need to prove myself every second of everyday, and I struggle with communucation is because my feelings and problems we always dwarfed in comparison to my older and much more dysfunctional siblings. I needed to be the "easy child" so my parents could get a break and I was. Good grades, always seen as quiet and well behaved, mature for my age, sometimes even the family therapist but never just a child.