#Caliban-8

[carpaccio-pov]

while i'm more or less not procrastinating might throw some callulah here (or should I call it t8 lol)

it may seem like I'm gonna draw more than once in a lifetime but i'm not

[the-fruit-bandit]

Don't you think it's funny how almost always Titans just can't help themselves when it comes to Warlocks? (Saint and Osiris, Wei Ning and Eriana, Shaxx and Felwinter, ect)

Just always seem to be drawn to each other yk?

What do Hunters get you might ask? Well that's simple: They have each other! It goes:

• meet under unlikely circumstances

• develop lifelong bond

• get into a stupid mess

• one of them dies in (or as a consequence of) said stupid mess

• the one left alive gets super traumatized, has a huge change to their entire personality makes the death become their main driving force, and then waits until they meet a new hunter so they themselves can die in a stupid mess and continue the cycle!

[guardian-battle-bracket]

The Crown Bracket - Round 2

Character information. below the cut.

This is not to reflect any personal bias of us, it's just that everyone knows who Cayde is and information on Caliban is from ONE Hunter exotic.

Cayde-6 needs no introduction, but Caliban-8 may.

Caliban-8 was, to our knoweldge, the second Hunter Vanguard. Directly responsible for the death of Tallulah Fairwind thanks to a bad hand in a card game she played against an Ahamkara, that Caliban acted as dealer for. He took over Vanguard duties following this. He would then spend almost all his time in his office, throwing burning knives at the ceiling.

[harrietvane]

Anyway, Sigourney Weaver Prospero

[rabbitmotifs]

i am the worst english student in the WORLD

[shalalalalaw]

*leans close to the mic*

Caliban-8 bottomed for Tallulah Fairwind. That man got pegged on the regular and you cannot tell me otherwise.

[inspectorlyfra]

After almost 7 months, 34 hours, 42 work sessions; many hand cramps, wrist pops and tension headaches; several extended breaks for unrelated illness and injury; and an amount of hubris that would make Erin shudder, it's finally done! I am proud to present the full text transcript of Aurora.

All transcription work was done by me. Proofreading and editing done by the lovely @asterism343 ; she also added the rune translations. Be sure to give her a hand too, I couldn't have done this without her! Thanks as well to Auroracord and ATP* for listening to me ramble about it while I worked, encouraging me to be productive, and (more importantly) helping me decide when to let myself rest. And thanks, of course, to @comicaurora for the incredible comic!

Working on this transcript was a very intense labor of love, and I enjoyed every second of it. It got me to notice a lot of things I wouldn't have otherwise, even after multiple casual rereads. I changed my mind on things a couple times and tried to make this both as streamlined and as useful as possible. Let me know if you have suggestions for any further improvements! On that note: It's on dark mode for the sake of my migraines, but if anyone wants a light mode, I can make one? It also might not load very well on mobile, she's BIG. Extra disclaimer that Google Docs only shows your name viewing a document if you have edit permissions - so anyone looking through will be anonymous!

I will be updating this with each new page to the best of my ability. So, not immediately when the page drops at 3-4am my time. I need sleep. But it should be up by the end of that day - or, if I'm busy or sick, the week's worth will go up every Friday!

*The discord server we made for this project! If you'd like an invite to stay updated and/or give suggestions, send me an ask (not anonymous) and I'll respond privately with an invite link. Please keep suggestions in the server or in my asks, not comments/reblogs/DMs.

Statistics under the cut! - Not factoring in Aster's work

project started: 12-27-2024 work sessions transcribing: 23 work time, transcribing, up to 2.3.42: 27 hours 15 minutes linebreak sessions: 19 time for linebreaks, my half: 6hrs 40min pages on the doc: 240 comic pages completed: 890 (not including pages without dialogue/sfx/runes) words: 76,170 average rate: 33.66 pages per hour, each chapter taking 63 minutes

Chapter breakdown, as precisely as I could make it:

0.0.X, 1.1.X, 1.2.X: 1hr 15min 1.3.X, 1.4.X: 1hr 30min 1.5.X: 1hr 1.6.X: 1hr 40min 1.7.X: 1hr 35min 1.8.X: 1hr 5min 1.9.X: 1hr 5min 1.10.X: 1hr 15min 1.11.X: 1hr 15min 1.12.X: 1hr 20min 1.13.X: 1hr 1.14.X: 50min 1.15.X: 55min 1.16.X: 50min 1.17.X: 50min 1.18.X: 25min 1.19.X: 1hr 1.20.X: 50min 1.21.X: 1hr 15min 1.22.X, 2.0.X: 1hr 40min 2.1.X: 2hr 2.2.X: 1hr 30min 2.3.X, 2.4.<15: 1hr 15min

number of lines / chapters appeared in = lines per chapter erin: 942 / 22 = 43 falst: 692 / 18 = 38 jolon: 76 / 2 = 38 dainix: 487 / 14 = 35 alinua: 816 / 25 = 33 kendal: 799 / 25 = 32 vash: 95 / 3 = 32 tarren: 61 / 2 = 31 tahraim: 105 / 4 = 26 ilia: 26 / 1 = 26 shrike: 95 / 4 = 24 tynan: 110 / 5 = 22 the collector: 99 / 4 = 25 tess: 334 / 17 = 20 caliban: 61 / 3 = 20 tam: 54 / 3 = 18 the void dragon: 165 / 10 = 17 argist: 17 / 1 = 17 gleicann: 51 / 3 = 17 zuurith: 61 / 5 = 12 trusk: 23 / 2 = 12 theia: 67 / 7 = 10 arenamaster: 38 / 4 = 10 primordial life: 21 / 8 = 3

[vexwerewolf]

In your opinion, what is the most fuckable Lancer frame?

Dusk Wing, windmill slam.

Now some Lanceblrs are probably gonna call me a basic bitch, but let me explain my reasoning here.

Now I'm a monsterfucker. I like fucking monsters. And we can all talk about fantasies and shit but if I'm gonna take a mech's dick - and I am, I'm the bottom in this scenario and I'm planting my flag right now - it needs to be Size 1/2. I'm sorry, but no human body is capacious enough to accept the schlong of a Size 1 mech. I don't care if you've been training on Chance XLs your entire adult life, the GMS Standard-Pattern Size 1 fuckpole is meant for mechs of its own size class only. My pelvic floor would disintegrate upon touching it. It's a non-starter. Size 1/2s only.

Unfortunately, this restriction leaves me with a distressingly small stable of viable mechs, some of which are instant disqualifications.

The Caliban is right out the window, immediately. It's not a machine intended to be an image of man fucking large. It was never meant to thrust across the battlefield erotically to affect a greater orgasm. It is a tool designed to kill human beings very, very quickly. The Caliban is married to the job, and the only ejaculations it produces are 8-gauge buckshot. I'm going to confidently put it down as asexual. Also, the awkward arrangement of its hips would produce deeply inadequate thrusting.

The Kobold is clearly into BDSM, and specifically, waxplay. The Kobold likes to cause you erotic pain by dripping molten fluids all over your naked, trembling body, and don't get me wrong, that's hot - but we're talking like 900 degrees hot. I want my body to burn with forbidden passion, not to actually catch fire because it's covered in superheated chemicals that shouldn't ever touch. Besides, their spiky carapace feels like it would be a problem for some of the positions I want to try.

The Napoleon and I actually dated once and it didn't go very well at all so he's right out.

Now you'd think on first glance that the Atlas is the perfect fuckbuddy - anthroform, roughly the correct height, weight and shape, and possessed of those athletic, muscular arms that can just pin you down while going to town on you. That's all well and good, but he's so painfully boring. All he ever wants to do is fuck missionary, and his idea of aftercare is watching Demon Slayer. I can't. I just can't.

The Goblin wouldn't return my calls. After the third try, it just texted me this:

0S1R1Smaxx1ng: girl fuck off harrison iii just added me to a group chat

Now, that leaves the Dusk Wing, which fortunately for us presents several advantages.

Firstly: hands. Six of them (at bare minimum). You know how hot it is to be pinned to the wall by your wrists, your ankles and STILL get your tits and ass groped? Those hands are dextrous and surprisingly gentle, and when those fingers go in your mouth, you can bite down hard without hurting your jaw or chipping your teeth.

Secondly: comfort. The Dusk Wing is based off of old EVA hardsuit designs, built for ergonomics, so a lot of its non-armored sections are made out of flexible polymer that doesn't chafe against your skin. The armored sections are smooth composite. There's no spurs or spikes, no jagged or protruding elements, and no crush hazards. Heat rejection systems mostly point backwards from the mech, which might be a problem if I wanted to be on top, but we've already established I don't.

Thirdly: memetics. I'm an absolute freak for mind control, and the Dusk Wing can make me feel like I'm being fucked by sixteen of itself at once. It can squeeze my tongue and whisper its name to me and make me feel like me and it are the only things in the entire universe. It can show me myself climaxing over and over and over and over and over and over.

I hope this excessively answers your question.

[diabolicalevil]

Rating Primarch hygiene/care routines

I was being an insane hypochondriac again so I figured I'd replace one form of crazy with another

Lion El'johnson: 6/10

he's being very medieval abt it. I don't think he's doing a good job but generally could be worse. he can't help that all the water sources in caliban are guarded by leviathans

Fulgrim: 10/10

twenty step care routine nothing less ever. that evil demon sword may be glowing but so is his skin

Perturabo: 4/10

his hair oil is WD40. like being half machine is p bad but it simply does not explain how dirty he usually is. soot, mechanical oils and grease, ink etc. he has a sunday everything bath and nothing else

Jaghatai Khan: 5/10

does not like bathing (takes too long) so he does not do it properly but at least he does it semi regularly?

Leman Russ: 8/10

surprisingly clean. im sure we're all vaugly aware of the fact norse men were stealing the english hoes with their sick braids and regular bathing so I assume the fenris is the same. HOWEVER. after he goes hunting you start to contemplate escaping the planet bcs he smells sososososo bad. he's a very sweaty boy

Rogal Dorn: 7/10

lacking if he doesn't have a thing to attend, he's quite busy. but when he does it's the most efficient ever. probably has one (1) cologne fulgrim or horus gifted him years ago and he just keeps buying that one

Konrad Curze: 0/10

disgusting freak man. greasy hair. unwashed. overgrown nails. stank breath. it's bad

Sanguinius: 9/10

very good at normal human bathing and he also likes a sand bath from time to time

Ferrus Manus: 6/10

he has to oil his hands im afraid. its gross and slippery and he hates it too but everyone has to have to live with it. extremely sweaty from being in the forge all day, whether he handles that in a timely manner is up to if he saw fulgrim or not that day

Angron: 8/10

also surprisingly good, saw a post abt how being in water calms him down so I think bath time is his favouritee

Roboute Guilliman: 9/10

used to getting bathed and such for political gatherings. he doesn't have much time to bathe otherwise but he does try to make time for it cause its enrichment for him. however. if he has no such things or time he's stimkyy

Mortarion: 4/10

talking abt pre heresy mortarion. he does not smell fantastic. doesn't particularly like the water so if he must cover his smell he uses strongly scented plants to mask it. yk like how plague doctors did w lavender

Magnus: 6/10

not super great but gets away with it as he's in his fuckign labyrinth library all day

Horus Lupercal: 9/10

have u seen the art of this man holy shit that beard is CRISP. I usually hate cologne but I know whatever he uses is godlyy its crazy

Lorgar Aurelian: 8/10

clean but like scentlessly clean for religious reasons. also for religious reasons if he does smell like smth it's probably incense

Vulkan: 8/10

he smells like metal. if anyone actually smells like those "chopping wood in the forest", "blacksmithing", "musky metal MAN" deodorants its him, but like in a good way. bathing wise he stays on top of it cause his sons r quick to tell him when he's stinkyy

Corvus Corax: 8/10

also scentless but he just finds perfumes, colognes etc overpowering and annoying

Alpharius/Omegon: ???

???? I have no idea

[fanfics4all]

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Day 1- Temperature Play: Toy Otto x Fem!reader Day 2- Voyeurism: Lou Chan x Male!reader Day 3- Public Sex: Barry Allen X Fem!reader Day 4- Sensory Deprivation: Negan x Fem!reader Day 5- Bondage: Derek Morgan x Fem!reader Day 6- Anonymous Sex: Jamie Hunter x Fem!reader Day 7- Bruising/Biting: John Murphy!Vampire AU x Fem!reader Day 8- Flogging: Oliver Queen x Fem!reader Day 9- Food Play: Fred and George Weasley x Fem!reader Day 10- Overstimulation: Sub!Ambrose Spellman x Dom!Fem!reader Day 11- Knife Play: F.P. Jones x Fem!reader Day 12- Breath Play: Savitar x Fem!reader Day 13- Role Play: Callie Adams-Foster x Male!reader Day 14- Gangbang: Draco Malfoy x Blaise Zabini x Theodore Nott x Fem!reader Day 15-Teasing: Althea Szewczyk-Przygocki x Fem!reader Day 16- Cock Worshiping: Daryl Dixon x Fem!reader Day 17- Squirting: Bellamy Blake x Fem!reader Day 18- Foot Fetish: Archie Andrews x Fem!reader Day 19- Fisting: Caliban x Fem!reader Day 20- Cunnilingus: Brandon Foster x Fem!reader Day 21- Shower Sex: Spencer Reid x Fem!reader Day 22- Thigh Riding: Tommy Merlyn x Fem!reader Day 23- Breeding: Malachai x Fem!reader Day 24- Somnophilia: Roy Harper x Fem!reader Day 25- Pussy Slapping: Leonard Snart x Fem!Allen!reader Day 26- Pegging: Jesus Adams-Foster x Fem!reader Day 27- Angry Sex: Rosita Espinosa x Male!reader Day 28- Phone Sex: Luke Alvez x Fem!reader Day 29- Uniforms: Octavia Blake x Male!reader Day 30- Sex Pollen: Harvey Kinkle x Fem!reader Day 31- Cock Warming: Severus Snape x Fem!reader

[dcocca]

Hello! Welcome to the Painted in the Margins official Reading List!

Here, you will find all the books referenced in the fic, divided by chapter of appearance. So, for example, if you’re currently on Chapter 8, you can go straight to the part of the list dedicated to that Chapter and see which works were mentioned, without spoiling yourself anything that could pop up on later chapters.

The list includes both works that are explicitly quoted and works that are only briefly mentioned, or are referenced as passing thoughts. Wherever an author is mentioned without any of their specific works being brought up, I will put a book title that might represent them or that I particularly love. If the same author is mentioned in more than one chapter, you will find them added more than once, in each chapter they appear on, but perhaps with a different book title mentioned (we like variety, don’t we?).

Essays and biographies are red, novels are green, and poetry is purple.

The titles Anthony sells/recommends to Ezra are in bold.

Chapter 1:

Can the Monster Speak?, Paul B. Preciado

The Nature of Gothic, John Ruskin

Dante and His Circle, Dante Gabriel Rossetti

The Pisan Cantos, Ezra Pound

Chapter 2:

The Inequality of Man, J.B.S. Haldane

Bloody Hell! Adventures in Menopause from Around the World, Mona Eltahawy et al.

Oneness vs. the 1%, Vandana Shiva

Who Really Feeds the World?, Vandana Shiva

Stuffed and Starved: The Hidden Battle for the World Food System, Raj Patel

The Sense of Beauty, George Santayana

Ways of Seeing, John Berger

Chapter 3:

Rayuela, Julio Cortázar

The Black Unicorn, Audre Lorde

Chapter 4:

Those Who Ride The Night Winds, Nikki Giovanni

Lustra, Ezra Pound

How It All Vegan! Irresistible Recipes for An Animal-Free Diet, Tanya Barnard, Sarah Kramer

Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right, Karl Marx

Chapter 5:

My Tender Matador, Pedro Lemebel

Chapter 6:

The Dispossessed, Ursula K. Le Guin

The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, Ursula K. Le Guin

Tender is the Flesh, Agustina Bazterrica

The Unworthy, Agustina Bazterrica

Weyward, Emilia Hart

Caliban and the Witch: Women, the Body and Primitive Accumulation, Silvia Federici

TBA

I hope this list will be useful to you. And I hope you will find something new to read, too. 🖤

Tagging @goodomensafterdark 💙❤️

[thefirstknife]

Do we know more or less for how long each Vanguard held their position? Especially Hunter Vanguards since there's so many of them, I was wondering how many years each of them lasted

Genuinely impossible to tell, mostly because we don't have a timeline.

Hunter Vanguards definitely lasted a few years each, though some more than others. I think Tallulah was around for a while, as well as Andal and Cayde. Others may have been around for less, but we just have no idea. Crow is the 7th Hunter Vanguard, meanwhile both Titans and Warlocks only ever had 2 each and all of them are still alive.

Saint and Osiris were Vanguard leaders since the formation of the Consensus, until roughly around the Twilight Gap; then Osiris got exiled and Saint went after him following the Gap. Zavala and Ikora took over then. So Saint and Osiris served during the first 5 Hunter Vanguards (Tallulah, Caliban-8, Aparajita-4, Kauko Swiftriver and Andal). How long did that all take? Anyone's guess.

There are also gaps in between Hunter Vanguards; we know this from the Cayde situation as it took several years for Crow to fill that position, but a similar thing also happened with Kauko for whom Cayde says:

Didn't have a Hunter Vanguard back then, what with Kauko Swiftriver finally being declared dead after two years MIA and his Dare nowhere to be found. Speaker said it was on the rest of us Hunters to figure it out.

So Kauko's spot was left unfilled for at least 2 years and only then did the Hunters (in this case Andal and Cayde) start the dare so some additional time also passed until Andal finally took the spot.

Some stuff like this scannable from the Tower says:

These crates are completely full of Vanguard history books. There are over thirty just focused on Osiris. He wasn't even the Warlock Vanguard for that long before Ikora, but it sure was a busy time.

But it does nothing to help us with the estimates. What does "for that long" mean? It will mean something different to everyone. To me personally, I think it should be at least moderately long to fit in 5 Hunter Vanguards and also everything from the formation of the Consensus until Twilight Gap, but who knows.

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

What kind of love triangles I will write:

1) Konrad and Vulcan. They are opposites in the way they relate to people and the world. Konrad despises humanity, considers it a piece of meat, and Vulcan believes in goodness and wants to become a blacksmith after the war (uwu). And an important point! Konrad believes that he would have been better if he had not had the gift of foresight and had been born in another world. And someone (I don’t remember exactly) mentioned that Vulcan could have been the most cruel and deadly of the primarchs if not for his adoptive father.

2) Dorn and Perturabo. No comments.

3) Corvus Corax and Alpharius/Omegon. Both are stealthy, using quick and silent techniques to kill. But Corvus wants to find a family, to become a real human, and Alpharius/Omegon are quite happy with playing spies and that no one will ever truly understand them.

4) Leman Russ and Magnus, obviously. Psyker hater and psyker. Savage (but smart) and intellectual (but stupid).

5) Horus and Sanguinius. Beloved brothers. But too much responsibility fell on the shoulders of the self-centered Horus, and Sanguinius is not of this world. Probably the most difficult for me.

6) Guilliman and Lorgar. Not just because of the Monarchy, but because it is literally a battle between an atheist and a believer. Logic and feelings. Although it is Guilliman who is closest to people than Lorgar.

7) Angron and Lion. A man in the skin of a beast because of his nails. Experiences hatred and pain 24/7, although this particular primarch is the most empathic from birth. Lion looks like a knight, a noble man with a code of honor. But he literally lived in the forests of Caliban for several years like an animal.

8) Fulgrim and Ferus Manus. No comments.

9) Jaghatai Khan and Mortarion. The first one devotes time to his appearance, believes that enemies should underestimate you. Mortarion immediately shouts that he is "DEATH". Both knelt before the Emperor to their displeasure. But if Jaghatai Khan humbled himself and kept his oath as a warrior (what a great guy he is, the most underrated loyal primarch), then Mortarion harbored a grudge and gladly betrayed.

[moons-among-distant-stars]

hey you! do you wanna see a fucked up woman in her fucked up caliban that doesnt do caliban things!!!

well here you are!! a caliban who's whole purpose is to fire the Requiem Communications Array (from @corsair-news-alliance's Grunt Work's Belgravia)

-- IPS-N Caliban @ LL8 -- [ LICENSES ] IPS-N Caliban 2, HA Genghis 3, C-GW Belgravia 3 [ CORE BONUSES ] Superior by Design, Superheavy Mounting [ TALENTS ] Brutal 3, Tactician 2, Nuclear Cavalier 2, Grease Monkey 2, Pankrati 1, Bonded 1 [ STATS ] HULL:4 AGI:0 SYS:0 ENGI:6 STRUCTURE:4 HP:18 ARMOR:2 STRESS:4 HEATCAP:13 REPAIR:7 TECH ATK:-2 LIMITED:+3 SPD:3 EVA:8 EDEF:8 SENSE:3 SAVE:15 [ WEAPONS ] Integrated: HHS-075 “Flayer” Shotgun SUPERHEAVY MOUNT: Requiem Communications Array HEAVY MOUNT: SUPERHEAVY WEAPON BRACING [ SYSTEMS ] Radar Designator x6, AGNI-Class NHP x4, Auto-Cooler, Explosive Vents

also the silly pilot of this.. thing

» Safi Turan el-Amin // JAWBREAKER « Corsair/Private Super Soldier (Former), LL8 [ SKILL TRIGGERS ] Apply Fists to Faces (+2), Assault (+4), Get Somewhere Quickly (+2), Numb the Pain (+6), Pull Rank (+2), Stay Cool (+6), Threaten (+2) [ GEAR ] Assault Hardsuit, Medium Signature, Field Pike, The Memory, Stims, Frag Grenades [ BOND ] THE KNAVE Powers: BITE THE BULLET, I'LL DO IT MYSELF, EYES ON THE PRIZE [ MECH SKILLS ] GRIT:4 // H:4 A:0 S:0 E:6 [ TALENTS ] Brutal 3, Tactician 2, Nuclear Cavalier 2, Grease Monkey 2, Pankrati 1, Bonded 1 [ LICENSES ] IPS-N Caliban 2, HA Genghis 3, C-GW Belgravia 3 [ CORE BONUSES ] Superior by Design, Superheavy Mounting

"Safi el-Amin should not be alive. She should not be able to do what she does. She should be braindead 30 times over. Yet here she stands. Shaking and barely alive. Clawing. Reaching for a world long gone."

(credit goes to this person w/ some modifications i made)

she might appear on @totally-normal-kidd later... who knows..

[snicketverse-fic-finder]

ASOUE characters: How popular are they on Ao3?✨📚😎😮🫢

No.of fics with each character in them

Baudelaires:

Beatrice: 417

Bertrand: 257

🔧Violet: 977 🏆

📚Klaus: 822

🍳 Sunny: 662

👶 Beatrice II: 192

Quagmires:

Mrs Quagmire: 34

Mr Quagmire: 28

🖋️Isadora: 369 🏆

🗞️ Duncan: 367

🗺️ Quigley: 332 (Surprising tbh, I thought he’d win out of the triplets at least)

Widdershins:

⚓️Captain Widdershins: 40

🍄 Fiona: 114

🪝 Fernald: 166 🏆

Olaf+his troupe:

🎭 Count Olaf: 722 🏆

🍸 Esmé Squalor: 379

Woman with hair but no beard: 30

Man with beard but no hair: 25

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143

Henchperson of indeterminate gender: 84

Bald man: 57

White-faced women: 56 (just mildly less popular than the bald man yet there’s TWO of them- that’s gotta blow 😔-)

🎪[The Freaks] 🎪

Kevin: 14 🏅

Hugo: 13

Collette: 12

Denouements:

Frank: 76

Ernest: 92

🦄: 102 🏆

Snickets: (Take this with a grain of salt bc they have a whole other series -ATWQ- going for them)

Jaques: 347

Kit: 410

Lemony: 536 🏆

Guardians+the likes:

🏦 Mr Poe: 104

🗞️ Eleanora Poe: 14

📰 Polly Poe: 1

🐑 Edgar Poe: 10

💰 Albert Poe: 6 (Why is Edgar more popular??)

🐍Uncle Monty: 114

🐍 Ink/The Incredibly Deadly Viper: 8

🪟 Aunt Josephine: 72

Ike Anwhistle: 26

[🚬 Sir: 30

Charles: 54

👓 Georgina Orwell: 143 🏅

😃 Phil: 10 ]

[🎻Vice Principal Nero: 37 (That’s less than the bald man who has maybe 3 lines total, take that!)

Mrs Bass: 4 (Damn.)

Ms. Tench: 2 (Double damn)

Mr Remora: 3

📚 Olivia Caliban: 237 🏅]

🍸 Jerome Squalor: 104

(✨Esmé Squalor: 379 but I put her in the Olaf’s troupe section. This is just for quick comparison to Jerome. Poor guy. Ish. I don’t actually feel that bad for him tbh.)

🦅 The Council of Elders: 4

🎈 Hector: 48

Hal: 8

Babs: 9

Phil: 10

[🍎 Ishmael: 17

🐟 Miranda Caliban: 8

🕶️ Friday Caliban: 26 🏅

🚢 Thursday: 5 ]

Miscellaneous VFD members:

😎 Jacquelyn Scieszka: 172 🏆

🎥 Gustav Sebald: 78

🐟 Larry Your-Waiter: 85

👑 Duchess R of Winnipeg: 61 or 64 (3 are under ‘Duchess R’

Uncategorised:

Ben: 4

🚲 The Paperboy: 3

💃 Carmelita Spats: 149

Top 3:

1~ Violet Baudelaire! 🔧💜 (977 fics on Ao3 are tagged ‘Violet Baudelaire’! 🎉)

2~Klaus Baudelaire!!📚💙(822 fics!)

3~ Count Olaf! 👁️ 😈 (722 fics!)

Loser:

Polly Poe (with a disappointing 1 fic!😱)

[tenno-aster]

Concept: Caliban's head works like a magic 8 ball. He shakes it around to give canned responses since he can't otherwise speak