#Class 11th Business Studies Classes

[ysrjune]

ok james kelly…maybe him and reader have had an on an off thing since high school or something…..also something something criminal by britney spears…….also smut ‼️

(idk if this is specific enough if not lmk 😭😭😭)

-🌪️

ᯓ HE'S A BAD BOY

. . . WITH A TAINTED HEART .ᐟ

a/n: College student James Kelly. I didn't specify a major for reader! That's all up for you to imagine. I don't remember if James parents were named in the movie, so I gave them names. This is more James pov.

15-year-old James Kelly and 15-year-old you were friends since the first day of high school. Sharing the same algebra class and sitting next to each other started all this. James wasn't shy, but he wasn't talkative.. and you were. You were talkative, so he had no other choice but to talk back because he didn't want to be rude and cause any drama.

“James, can I borrow a pencil, please?”

“James, do you have the notes from yesterday?”

“James, what are you doing today?”

James, James, James, James, James! Always asking him a question or telling him something. He never minded it. He actually appreciated that you wanted to talk to him.

Towards the end of freshman year, James and you started going out. On weekends, he'd take you to the park or to see a movie, or really anything you wanted to do. But things didn't really go the way you wanted them to. You broke up two times over the summer, once your sophomore year, again in 11th grade (and closed a 3rd time that year), and then twice again senior year. Everyone called your relationship toxic and confusing. But they just didn't understand. You weren't toxic.. confusing, sure, but not toxic. Or so you thought.

Those breakups were dumb and unnecessary anyway! You didn't even consider them breakups. They were just breaks.

Now you've been in college for a year, and coincidentally, James attends the same school. Your freshman year was chill. He didn't go up to you at all since your breakup back in senior year. The last one. For real this time. You were done with him, and he respected your wish of not wanting him to sweet-talk you back into a relationship.

James' major is Mechanical Engineering, which is way different than yours. There's no way you'd cross paths with him, and if you did, it's not like you'd try to talk to him. Both of you are busy. Way too busy for a relationship. James doesn't just go to school. He also has a (part-time) job at a body shop near his house.

After a long day at school, James returns home and is greeted by the family dog and his mother. “How was school, hon?” His mother asks. “Tiring. A little stressful. Same old same old.” James stretches and cracks his back. “Hey ma, 'M goin' out in a little while, so I won't be here for dinner.” He leaned against the counter where, on the other side, his mother was making dinner. “Are you off to see a girl?” His father asks from the dining table as he flips to the next page of the newspaper.

“No,” James responds. “Good. I want'chu to focus on your studies and not a girlfriend. The last one you had was no good.” His father responds. “Marty,” Mary says his name with a hint of anger. “Don't you talk about that sweet girl that way. You know, I ran into her at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago, and she's still respectful and very nice.” Mary stirs the pot of pasta. Mary has always liked you.

James's eyes shot up from the counter to his mom. “Did you? What did she say?” He was obviously eager to hear about what happened between you and his mother. “Oh, not much. She said hello and we hugged.. I asked her how her studies were going, and she told me a little bit about them. She asked how everyone here was doing, and then that was all.”

“Did she.. uh.” James hesitantly starts. “Specifically ask about you? No, son. She didn't.” Mary sighs. “It's okay that she didn't, Jimmy. You two should keep your minds off each other. What's done is done.”

James sighs and returns his sight to the counter. “Yeah, you're right, ma.” And then Frankie walked in. “Hey everybody.” He says, and Marty groans: "Gahh!" throwing his head back. “Can we have peace for five minutes?” Their father complains. “Come on, pa. I only said hi.” Frankie moves over to the kitchen to snag a water out of the refrigerator. “Oh yeah? Oh yeah?! You says hi, and then what happens, ah? A whole fight breaks out between you and ya brother, and who's gotta break it up? Me! Ya mutha' cant do it so I have to!”

James and Frankie give each other a confused look. “Dad, there ain't nothin' to be fighting about,” James says. “Yet.” Frankie chuckles and stands against the refrigerator. “What is this, what you doin' to my refrige'ra'ta? Awf Awf of it, boy! You see what I mean?! No peace! You're givin' me a heart attack!” Marty was making no sense with his complaining, but the boys didn't want to argue with him.

“Jimmy, where did you say you were going today?” Mary suddenly asks. “Oh. I'm just gonna sell some car parts to a guy. I won't be too late.”

That was sort of true. He was selling something alright, but not car parts. He was selling illegal drugs to teenagers in an alley. “Do you want it or not, kid?” James asks in a low, rough voice. He was frustrated. These high schoolers were practically chickening out. “Yeah, but..” One of the boys says nervously. “No buts. Look, if you take this, all your troubles are gone. You're relaxed and don't have a care in the world. Don't you want that?” James persuaded. The boys all look at each other and agree, then give their splits of money to James. And the deal was done. Well.. that one was. He still had 4 other ones to make.

By the end of all of them, it was already late night and he was tired, but he was hungry.. and he wasn't in the mood for pasta, so he went to some burger joint that was 24 hours. James heard the burgers were amazing because they were big, packed with add-ins, and their fries were amazing.

He pulls in through the drive-thru and places his order, then drives to the window. As he waited, he zoned out on whatever was in front of him until the window opened. “James.” A familiar voice calls his name. It sent chills up his spine. He looks over to the window to see you. “Y/n.” He calls back, and he can't help the grin that possesses his face. “You work in fast food? I thought you said you'd never do somethin' like this.” He laughs. You smile warmly. That laugh brings so many memories back.

“I guess I lied.” You reply. “Yeah, big time.” James keeps smiling. You give him the bag of hot food and a drink. “Here's your order.” James takes the food and drink and puts them to the side. “Thank you darlin'.”

Your heart stops. “Don't say that.” You mumble. “Oh come on, it ain't hurtin' nobody.” You shake your head. “James.. It's just.. not the time, okay? I don't think there will ever be a time for it either.” James looks down at the concrete wall and nods his head. “Yeah, okay. I get it.” He taps his finger on the wheel. “I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to upset ya.” He apologizes. “See you 'round school.” He gives you a small smile. “See you around.” You said back. See. Not talk, not catch. See.

Later that night, James was up thinking about you. He messed up so badly. It was the first time he talked to you in two years, and he screwed it up by making things awkward. What he didn't know was that you, too, were thinking of him.

Why did he have to call that name again? Your mind went back to fetch the memories of how loving and affectionate he was, how nice and such a gentleman.. even the fights and breakups were coming back, but you would still find your way back to each other, and it just proved how much you loved each other. Or at least that's how you thought of it.

He didn't actually see you around. His classes are way on the other side of the campus and were also in the morning, and yours were at noon.

It's a Friday evening, and James didn't work after school, which was great. He could just rest. No deals anything to make either. The only thing he had planned out for later was going to a house party that his buddy had invited him to. Did he think of you? Unfortunately, no. He was more focused on what drinks there would be, what snacks, and which of his other buddies were going. It was going to be fun, that's all he knew.

When he got home, it was just him. Peace and quiet. Great for a nap. He has a whole thing for when he naps. He closes the blinds, turns the AC on, locks his door, and gets all comfy in his bed. He has a big, warm, thick blanket as well. He likes his room to be cold so that he can go underneath the blanket. It's a little odd, but it makes him comfortable.

“Jimmy” knock knock

“Jimmy.” knock knock knock

“James!” knock knock knock knock knock

“JAMES!!!!!!” KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The yell of his father and banging on the door were heard outside, and it woke James right up. “What pa?! I'm busy!” James whines sleepily. “Busy doing what? Messing with your pecker, you disgusting perv? Get out here and take this trash out!” His dad yelled, and his stomps were heard leaving. James groans into a pillow and forces himself to get up from his comfy environment. He shivers at the cold air and digs into his closet for a hoodie.

He looks at the time.. oh, he took a long nap. He came home at 2:30 and it's almost 7.

James walks to the kitchen and grabs the trash bag out of the can. “I don't want any of that disgusting trash juice on the floor. Your mutha just mopped.”

James tunes Marty out and steps outside to where the garbage can is. Frankie is outside smoking a cigarette. “Dad's right inside, you know? If he sees you smoking, he'll have a cow.” Frankie removes the stick from his mouth and blows out the smoke. “Nah. He dont care no more about what I do and dont.” He leans against the stairs. “A little birdy told me you're planning to go to a party.”

“How do you know about that?” James asks. “Don't worry 'bout it,” Frankie replies and digs in his pocket to give James a few bags of something something. “I told a few folks you'd be there. You sell these to them.” James takes the baggies and puts them inside his hoodie pocket. “I don't know if I can do this tonight, Frankie. I'm supposed to be having fun.”

Frankie sniffs and takes another puff. “I wasn't asking for you to do this. I'm telling you. You bring me half the money, and the rest is yours.” Frankie points a ringed finger. James sighs and hesitates. “Frankie, I wasn't supposed to be doing any deals tonight. I just wanted to take a break and have fun with my friends.”

The older man stands up and looks down at his brother. “There ain't no breaks in this business, Jimmy. No bitching out. Do you wanna stay affording college? Cause that man in there ain't gonna help you, he dont care.” He points to the door. James rolls his eyes and inhales a deep breath. “Them old heads don't give a fuck about you or me, James. You're 20, you gotta do what you gotta do.”

James was staring at his brother with angry eyes but they also had the 'okay' look. “That's a good boy, Jimmy,” Frankie says and pats his brothers cheek. “Remember. Half.” He says and then walks away.

James stays in place for a couple of seconds and walks back into the house to get ready.

He showers, throws on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket over it. He wore regular everyday shoes to pair with. His cologne wasn't doing too much, but just enough for someone to smell when they or he walked past. He got a ride from his friend.

James was only at that party for 10 minutes before some guy went up to him for business. They went out to the back and dealt. It went smoothly. He was just wondering how many more times this was going to happen. In the span of 2 hours, he had sold all 3 baggies. Now he could finally have fun and drink as much as he wanted.

He joked and laughed with his friends for a while as they drank out of red plastic cups with liquor in them, they sang along to songs, and flirted with a couple of girls - they were just young men having fun at a party. “Hey isn't that Anthony?” Gerard, one of the guys in the group, asks. “Yeah, they call him ATM now, ya know? Because of his initials.” Someone else adds.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. That's kinda stupid if you ask me.” Gerard laughs. “But who's that girl he's with? I've never seen him with her before.” All the guys look over at Anthony and the girl. “He's always got a new girl every month,” James states the already known information. “She looks kind of familiar.”

“What if it's your ex, ah? She's got the same hair and everything.” Tony tries his best not to make it look like he's staring. “Nah, man. Every girl looks the same from the back. Plus, I doubt she'd even be at this party or any party at all.” James says, but even though he said he doubted it was you, it was a lie. He just didn't want to seem anxious about it in front of his friends.

“Are you sure?” Tony smirks as the girl turns to the side, showing off her side profile that was.. yours. James furrowed his eyebrows as Tony said that, and he looked right at you. His heart dropped. Why were you with EBT, Anthony? Whatever the hell they call him. Anthony isn't your type at all. You don't like guys who have a new girlfriend almost every two months, so what are you doing with him?

“Mister steal your girl.” Lucas laughs and puts a hand on James's shoulder. “What are you gonna do about that?” James turns his head to Lucas. “Man, get your dirty hand off of me. I don't know where that's been.” He tosses his shoulder, making the hand fall off. “I ain't gonna do nothing about that. It's not my business. She's not my girl anymore. I left her in the past.”

“Come on, we know you're not over her, Jimmy,” Gerard says after sipping on his cup. “You told us you talked to her the other day, right? Do it again. It won't hurt to catch up.” “You think AKA is gonna let me near his date? Get outta here.” James scoffs. “Let them be, I don't care.” Yes, he did. He cared a lot.

For the next half hour, James kept glancing over at you and ATM. His group of friends noticed, but they didn't say anything. They knew James would probably punch them in the throat if they tried bringing it up. As for Anthony, he also noticed James watching. The thing was that James didn't know that Anthony knew.

Anthony says something in your ear that James obviously and unfortunately couldn't hear or read from his lips in the room that was only lit up by dozens of different colored lights. You raise an eyebrow and look behind you to find James looking. He doesn't stop. He just lets the eye contact go on. “I don't know him.” You tell Anthony with a small shake of your head. James has an idea of what you're saying. “I think you're lying to me. James has been staring at us forever..”

You sigh softly. “Okay fine. He's my ex-boyfriend, but we haven't spoken since high school.” You weren't counting the time a few days ago. Anthony glances at James, who isn't staring anymore. “Change that. Go tell him to stop staring and mind his own business.” Anthony taps your ass and nudges you to walk off. “What? Why..”

“Because it's obvious he wants to say something. If talking to you again will make him stop being a creep, then go. This is the only time I won't be mad about it, though. I don't want you talking to your ex ever again.” Anthony says and nudges you again.

“God, you're so annoying,” you mumble as you head toward the corner where James and his friends are standing. The boys notice your approach, and Tony smirks. “Look who's coming,” he says to James. When James turns to see what Tony is talking about, his heart sinks again. “No, there's no way she's coming over here,” he says.

“Well, she is, so you better not embarrass yourself, tough guy.” Tony laughs. “Shut up,” James replied and tried his best not to look at you as you approached them.

Awkwardly, you stand in front of the group of young men. They don’t say anything; they just remain in place, waiting for you to speak first. “Hello,” you manage to say. “Hey,” Gerard responds. “Do any of you mind if I borrow James for a second?” You say and make eye contact with James.

James kept his gaze on you. Were you actually serious, or was this just a sick trick to embarrass him? The group of boys looks at each other as if they really needed a moment to think about it. “We don't mind at all, sweetie.” Tony gives the green flag.

“Thank you,” you say, looking at James expectantly. He exhales through his nose. “Lead the way,” he replies, following you to the back of the house, where fewer people are gathered. Outside is the best place for a conversation since it isn’t loud with music.

James is leaning against the tall brown fence. “Why did you bring me out here?” He asks. “Because Anthony told me that you wouldn't keep your eyes to yourself. He said it was because you wanted to talk to me.”

James raises an eyebrow. “I don't have anything to say.”

“Then why were you staring?” You shoot back.

James crosses his arms and replies, “Do I really need a reason?”

“Yes, you do. Obviously, you have one; you just don't want to tell me.”

“I don't know. I guess it's just weird seeing you with another guy, especially Anthony. At a party.””

“So you're saying that you're jealous.”

James huffs a laugh. “Am I?” He shakes his head. “Darlin', I ain't jealous of no one, okay? All I said was that it was weird. Don't put words in my mouth.”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“You should stop worrying about what I call you and start focusing on how dumb this is; us going back and forth. If we're gonna talk, I wanna have a nice conversation, not an argument.” James confesses.

You look down at the ground and mirror his stance. “Okay, okay.” You sigh. “Okay.” He repeats. A few awkward seconds pass by before he starts to speak again. “So, Anthony,” He brings up. “Are you really going out with him, or are you just friends?”

“I knew you were jealous.” You smirk. “I told you I'm not jealous.” He grumbles. “Just answer the question. I'm only curious.” You smile and uncross your arms. “Yeah, we're seeing each other.” James nods. “How long?” “Almost a month.”

Okay. It's not too serious.. James thinks.

“And what about you? Are you seeing anyone?” You question. James shakes his head and licks his lips before answering. “No. I'm focusing on school, and I get busy with work and other things. I don't have time for a girlfriend.” He responds.

“Ah.” You nod. “So you don't have a hookup buddy either?” That catches James off guard, but he laughs. “No.. I don't.” He says with a grin. “Not a hookup buddy.”

“So then it's usually just random girls?”

“Not totally random. It's only happened two times, and both girls are ones I know from last year. They're nice.. and I mean, it's not ĺike they wanted a relationship out of me either, so.. they were fine with just..”

“Getting dicked down and you leaving right after?” You offer.

“Yeah.” He responds. “Except I didn't leave right after. I stayed until the morning.” He says. “It wasn't awkward after we did it, so we would either just talk or go get something to eat, go back home, and then sleep it off.”

You hum in response. “I haven't done anything with Anthony.”

“How come?”

“Because I feel like that's all he wants, and if he gets it, he'll leave me right after.” James's face relaxes into a small frown. “You shouldn't be with him, then. If he doesn't like you for who you are, then you should leave and find someone who does.”

“I'm just gonna see how long we can last. Maybe he'll eventually not think like that.”

Oh, here we go. The “I can fix him” mentality. You're so pathetic.

“That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. You can't be serious.”

“Excuse you?” You give him a weirded-out expression. “Who are you to tell me that I'm stupid, James?” “An even stupider person.” He declares. “Y/n, he's not good for you. He's not good to you. Fuck, hes not good to anyone!”

“Don't take his bullshit. You need to realize that you dont deserve a douche bag like that. You need a guy who's gonna love you for who you are no matter what. A guy who wants to be there for you through everything.”

“Oh yeah, so you? You're describing yourself?”

James let out a frustrated groan, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I distinctly remember telling you to stop putting words in my mouth,” he said, his voice edged with annoyance. “And for the record, no, I'm not describing myself. The reality is that you and I are finished, and there’s nothing either of us can do to change that. I’m not the right person for you, and you’re not the right person for me. We simply don’t match. Im just trying to help you realize that LOL over there isn't a guy you should be with if you want something serious.”

“Really? You mean ATM?” You exhale sharply, rolling your eyes in exasperation. “ATM, LOL, EBT, whatever—Anthony isn't a good guy. I know you’re not naïve, so please don’t pretend to be.” He grips your shoulders, his expression earnest and concerned. “Seriously, just break up with him before he ends up hurting you.”

“James, it's clear we can't have a nice conversation like you wanted. So before this turns into something it shouldn't, I'm going to walk away. Please let me go.”

James removes his hands and sighs, lolling his head to the side. “Alright.” He mumbles. “Enjoy the rest of the party.”

“You too.” You say and walk away. James watches you and bites his lower lip. He wished he just minded his business. He wished you didn't have to bring up relationships and hooking up. It really could have gone well if it hadn't been brought up.

For the rest of the party, James stayed in a corner where he couldn't see you. Tony was the one who stayed with him while the other boys were on the dance floor. James told him everything that happened. “No dude, she was in the wrong. She's being an idiot.” Tony says. “Don't call her an Idiot.” James defends you even though you were being an idiot. “My bad.” Tony chuckles.

“Can you give me a ride home? I just can’t deal with this party any longer. It’s even harder with her here,” James said, glancing towards the crowded living room where laughter and music filled the air but failed to lift his spirits.

Tony raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. “Are you really sure about this? Don’t let a girl ruin your night, man. You've got to stay and enjoy yourself, at least a little,” he replied, trying to gauge James's mood.

James sighed, the weight of the evening pressing down on him. “I appreciate it, Tony, but I really need to go. I just want to get home, crawl into bed, and forget about all this for a while,” he admitted, his tone firm but weary. “Okay, let's go then,” Tony says.

Back at the house, James locks himself in his still-cold room. Already changed into sweats and shirtless, he replays the whole day in his mind

The day at school, receiving a reality check from Frankie and then dealing to his customers, having fun.. and then arguing with his first love. He tosses and turns in bed as he remembers. He can't sleep. He's overthinking.

What if she hates me now?

Should I have kept my mouth shut? Yes. No. Maybe. Somebody had to check her.

Is she right? Maybe I am jealous.

Jealous? What am I talking about. I'm over her. I can't get back with her anyway. I told her that already. If I asked, I'd look pathetic. I'm not pathetic.

Am I?

He falls asleep after hours of hundreds of thoughts. Hopefully, soon, he can apologize for upsetting you and OMG.

This will eventually have a part two, I just want to take a break from putting all my attention on this so I can work on my other asks. I wanted to really put in a lot of smaller details in this without smut because I wanted to prove to myself that I could write a good story without it having something sexual at the end. (Yes, there were sexual references in this, but hopefully, you know what I mean). I think this turned out well, and I hope you do too. Please let me know if it was boring and if I should leave those smaller details out and just stick to what I usually post haha.

@bxbyysstuff @anakinstwinklebunny @lovethestarrs @valloos @anisangeldust @xo-yaaaaaas-xo @anakinca @dollfilmz @gothams-sweetheart @sockiess @sythethecarrot @speaknow-sw @loveamira @alealuvshayden @mvst4far @prettiestmini @amiratheangel @blckberrie @literally-izzyy @litt1e-misssunsh1ne @chanelluvstvd @hearts4sammonroe @fratbrochrisgf

[sirenesolace]

SOLAR RETURN CHART 2024!!

Solar return charts usually last until your next one BUT because the year is almost over, i wanted to look at some of the predictions my chart indicated😸 some of them were WILD so hold on tight!!

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a professional astrologer and these are just OBSERVATIONS I am doing purely for having fun!! My aspects or placements may not turn out like yours so don’t worry 💕 These observations were made thanks to several already written posts on here about solar return charts, my personal experience and some researches😽

HAPPY HOLIDAY ❄️☃️

————————————————☆★!!

VIRGO RISING: starting with the rising sign. I read on here (I’ll try my best to tag the creators), that the year you have Virgo rising on your solar return chart, will one of your busiest years, and BOY WAS I BUSY. I started college (as indicated with my packed 9th house) and every time I thought I could relax there was a new assignment to do or notes to take for a class. I was practically drowning in homework.

SATURN + NEPTUNE 7TH HOUSE: because I was so busy all the time, i barely had time to really form any romantic relationship even tho I daydreamed about it a lot (Neptune). I was rejecting people + dates left and right, because I was busy but also I am very inexperienced with relationships: so I was sorta scared of diving into them. (Saturn representing blockage and fears in the house of relationships). Another interesting point was me manifesting and visualizing a relationship with a specific man (Neptune)

9TH HOUSE STELLIUM: I not only started college this year, but I also traveled a lot! A lot of my travels were done by plane this year. I went to a whole new country, and visited some family in another country.

4TH HOUSE LORD IN THE 9TH: the 4th house sign is Jupiter, and it’s placed in the 9th house; because I am going to college in a new country, I moved away from my home country. I’m already settled in and I absolutely LOVE the city I’m studying in😸! The people there are so freaking sweet and nice!

SUN + VENUS IN 11th HOUSE: I made sooo much friends this year and I’ve gotten so much compliments 🤭 I also became so confident this year, and that reflected in my reality. Compliments from strangers were so common this year. People would literally walk up to me and tell me the most unique compliments. It wouldn’t be the 11th house if i didn’t talk about social media. I started posting so much more on my socials (which is funny because before my solar return I took a social media break). I gained so much followers and overall focus on posting + creating content. Also I took manifesting seriously this year and gotten so much of my desires.

CHIRON 8TH HOUSE: I avoided having intimate relationships so much this year💀 Not necessarily a bad thing for me, but it’s very paradoxical knowing that I was wishing to have it so bad. I honestly was very avoidant and kinda scared to be intimate because I never experienced it AND before I can be intimate, I have to truly love someone intensely. That didn’t happen so I’m actually glad I wasn’t intimate with anyone. The solar return chart will run all the way to 2025 until my birthday (July 12th) so who knows 😛

JUNO 21°, 1ST HOUSE: I kid you not, a stranger that saw me at my hotel (while on vacation in a foreign country) asked my mom for my hand in marriage 😭😭 my mom speaks little English so he google translated what he needed to say to my mom💀 Juno in the 21st degree makes it interesting because it’s linked to Sagittarius: languages, foreign countries and long distance .

MOON 5°, 1ST HOUSE: I read on here (pls help me tag the creator) that planets at a 5° signify change. The moon is linked to menstrual cycles and because 2024 was a leap year, there was a change in my cycle. I also became better at regulating my emotions (I started meditating, doing breath work and Yoga) and became better at transmuting them so I could persist in my manifestation instead of having break downs about my reality.

LEO MERCURY IN 12TH HOUSE: I DID ACTING!! One of the things I manifested for myself. I did theatre and I had so much fun playing the character. The ugly side was that I was extremely drained from doing homework, coming late from rehearsal and I was barely sleeping + eating (literally had a breakdown multiple time and I was hopping they would kick me out the show). One of the directors (FUCK THAT BITCH) literally didn’t care fr and acted like she did. It’s a relief my mom came to visit the week before the big show and stayed with me till now. I was well fed and had so much energy because of it. Show went extremely well and my cast members kept mentioning how much the audience always were more responsive when I was on stage, so that made me so happy that they loved it🥹 One thing is that I’m never joining the theatre club again. It’s extremely demanding with my time and as much as I enjoyed acting, what I went through wasn’t worth my sanity😭 The next time I will be acting, I know it will be film acting instead because i didn’t enjoy theatre acting that much.

VIRGO AURA CONJUNCT ASC: this one was super interesting. People kept telling me you give off the vibe of someone who’s super intelligent, organized, confident and focused on her study. The word “aura” at the moment is very well known to mean “someone who radiates a lot of power/confidence” and people have told me I do radiate that; because of it I’ve gained a lot of suitors and admires (men and women).

PLUTO 5TH HOUSE: This one is gonna be a STRETCH but, I think Pluto here kinda explains me feeling burnt out about theatre 😭 the 5th house does govern this so I think it makes sense. 5th house also governs crushes and casual relationships, and i tried to avoid these as much as possible this year. I will say that I did have at least 1 crush this year which was super exciting knowing that I haven’t had one for 3 years. He acted like a “know it all”, was not a gentleman, did nicotine (one of my biggest turn offs) and when I finally did want to make time for him/ tried to reciprocate his feelings (because he literally loved me from the first time we met💀), he kept giving me mixed signals. I take a mixed signals as a “No” so I immediately stopped giving him any attention after that.

I hope you guys had as much fun reading as I had fun making this😽

[parkaplayboy]

75% || Chapter 2

stylenny x gender neutral reader

You're a senior in college during your final semester, but you find out that you're dangerously close to failing a class that you need to graduate. Lucky for you (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) you get paired up with a tutor.

words: 2.1k

PREVIOUS || NEXT

Wednesday 9:54 pm 

   You readjusted yourself under your blankets, doom scrolling through your social media. Science be damned, pre-bedtime social scrolling is necessary for a good night's rest. Unfortunately for you, a notification from your school email pops up on your screen, ripping your attention away from an exposé piece of an internet micro-celebrity you’ve never heard of.

 ‘ATTENTION! CAMPUS LIBRARY CLOSED TOMORROW..’ 

“What the hell, again?” Echoed from across the hall, tone indicating that you had about 15 seconds before your roommate was going to majestically barrel into your room. On cue, your roommate bursts into your room.

 “You do know what knocking is, don’t you?” Evan rolls his eyes, fidgeting with the one of the trinkets you had on display. “Dude, we’ve been friends since diapers. Get over yourself.” 

You scoffed. “What does that have- nevermind. What’s up?” Evan looks up at you, mindlessly tossing an eraser between his hands. “Library’s  closed again.”  

“We got the same notification, Ev. Why’s that so important all of a sudden? I wasn’t sure you knew where the library was located.” An eraser not-so-gently thrown hits your shoulder. “Well smartass, I planned on bringing Ciara over while you’re gone.” Evan states matter-of-factly.

You wrinkle your nose. “First off, TMI, Ev. I don’t need to know about you and your girlfriend’s sex-lives.” Evan interjects, in mock-defense. “Hey, I never said sex! It’s not my fault that you have an impure mind.”  

“It was implied and you know it!“ Your phone buzzes on your bed. You grab it, not bothering to continue the mock argument. 

1 New Email From: Kyle Broflovski 

“Kyle just emailed me, probably to cancel the session.” You hesitate before clicking the notification, oddly anxious. 

Hey, Y/N. Since the library is closed, do you mind moving the session to my apartment? You live in Dorm C don’t you? I can give you a ride, my house isn’t too far. 

Oh! So you’re fucked. Cool, thanks Outlook. 

“Holy shit.” Evan perks up from his leaned position on the wall. “What’s it say?” Your eyes scan over the sixteen words on your screen, reading and re-reading to make sure you read it correctly. “We’re studying at his house  tomorrow.” For a split second, there’s silence. Then, Evan begins to laugh. “What could possibly be funny right now?” Evan holds up a finger towards you, the other hand held over his mouth as he tries to stifle his laughter. “You’re totally fucked, dude.” 

Why are you friends with this guy, again? “Why am I friends with you again?” Evan grins. “I was the only one who supported your 8th grade emo phase.” Oh, right. You’re unfortunately stuck with him. “Yeah, you’re too much of a liability if I ghost you. Too much of my business would be at stake.” Evan laughs harder, shoulders shaking. “Same goes for you! I think I’d just have to like, kill you or some shit. You could take any average day in 10th grade and make a 10 part TikTok story time. I’d be fucked within the hour..” 

“Okay, okay. Suicide pact if we ever decide to stop being friends. Now, what makes you say I’m fucked? Is it that bad?” You not so subtly ask. It’s one thing for you to say you’re fucked, but when other people can see it too is when it becomes a problem. “Okay well..” Evan trails off, taking a moment to think. “You remember Oliver from 11th grade?” Remember him? If only you could forget. You had the most sickening crush on him for the entirety of 11th grade. “Of fucking course I do. What’s your point?”

Evan, rolled his eyes, mouth twitching in vague annoyance. “Well, what you might not remember, is that every time you saw him you’d get all tongue twisted and trip over your own feet. It made it obvious to anyone with eyes that you had a crush on him.” Your face burned in embarrassment.  “Exhibit A on why I can’t ghost you.” Evan ignores your comment, gearing up to speak again.

“You can not be casual to save your life, Y/N. There’s no way you’re gonna make it through tomorrow.” Evan pushing off your wall with his foot, walking towards your door.  You throw a pillow at him as he exits. “I’m gonna call your mom and tell her you’re being mean to me! You know I have Lisa’s number!” The door shuts and footsteps retreat down the hall. “Tell her I said hi.”

You unlock your phone, only to be met with the daunting blank response email window. You chew on your lip as you scan your brain for a normal sounding response. 

Hey Kyle! Y|

“No exclamation mark. It makes me sound desperate.”

Hey, Kyle. Yeah, sounds good to me. See ya th|

“See ya? What am I, a southern 5 year old?”

Hey, Kyle. Yeah, sounds good to me. See you tomorrow.

Good enough. Send.  

Thursday at 4:47 pm

His car was just both exactly how you imagined it and somehow completely different at the same time. You assumed it to be barren, to which you were partly correct. The rest of the car was empty save for a half empty water bottle in the cupholder and two charms hanging off of his mirror. One being a tiara & the other being a sword. You toyed with the notion of asking him what they stood for but you decided against it. He also had one of those plug-in car fresheners that smelled like eucalyptus and mint. 

“So, what’s your major?” Kyle turns his head slightly, to signify that he was listening to you but not fully taking his eyes off of the road. “I’m a Vet Medicine Major. I had a lot of pets growing up so I got really interested in their health from a young age..” You awkwardly trail off, choosing to stare at the road in front of you. “Dude, seriously? My boyfriend would freak out if he heard that,” Boyfriend? Of course he’s taken, he looks as good as an ethereal being on a bad day. “He’s a big animal lover. Y’know, when we were ten he protested a veal farm to the point that he didn’t eat for days.” Before you could respond, the car pulled into the driveway of his apartment. ‘Saved by the bell.’

You exit, wrapping around the car and trailing behind him towards the front door. Kyle stopped briefly to look at the sky. “Oh shit, I think it’s going to rain later.” Kyle reached into his pocket and inserted his key into the lock. “Kenny is at work and Stan is visiting his sister for the afternoon so we should be good to go.” You hum in response as he opens the door, padding inside. ‘Is Kenny the boyfriend or is Stan the boyfriend? Or both? Or neither?’ You try not to make it obvious as you damn near break your neck to look around the place. It’s messier than expected, especially compared to his car, but after finding out two other people live here the clutter makes sense. 

Thursday at 7:09 pm

“All in all, you seem to have a good understanding of the material. Today was productive.” Kyle shut his laptop and slid it further onto the table as he spoke. “Yeah, it’s easier when I can directly ask questions, I think.”  You responded, a small smile forming on your lips. The front door opened behind you, the sound of intense rain being amplified as a pair of footsteps entered the room. “And then, that stupid fucker had the audacity to ask me to comp his meal! Can you fuckin’ believe that, stan? I had half a mind to break the plate over his head- Oh, hey.”

 You turn around, eyes landing on two men, just as drop dead gorgeous as their roomate. One of the men was a chubby man with blonde hair and black roots, the other being a shorter, thin, boy-ish looking guy. “Hey, Ky. Who’s this?” The one you assumed to be Stan, asked. “Oh, right! Stan, Kenny, this is Y/N the person I’m tutoring. Y/N, this is Stan and Kenny, my boyfriends.” You have to manually remember to breathe. ‘Boyfriends? Three of the world’s hottest men are dating? Am I fucking dreaming?’ If you were dreaming, it’d be more akin to a nightmare. You give a small polite wave, eyes switching between the two men. “You’re not about to drive are you? It’s coming down pretty hard out there.” Kyle groans. “Damn, really?” 

“Hey,”  Kenny called out from the kitchen that he at some point wandered into. “The Weather App says it’ll be over in an hour.”  Kyle turns back to face where you’re sitting on the couch. “Do you mind sticking around for an hour?” What did you do to deserve this?  Your plan was to study, make awkward small talk in the car, and bitch about your sad excuse of a love life to Evan. At this point, you wanted to fist fight whichever higher power allowed this to happen. Get some sort of retribution, but instead of challenging a deity to a duel, you just smiled and nodded.

You stayed where you were sitting previously, Kyle moving next to you, Stan sitting in the arm chair to your left with Kenny sitting on the floor in front of the chair allowing Stan to play with his hair. Idle conversation was had between the three, occasionally discussing something that you know, allowing you to chime in. After the previous topic died down, comfortable silence filled the room. Until Kyle spoke up. “Stan, Y/N’s a Vet Science.” Goddamnit. Stan perked up, briefly letting go of the strands of hair between his fingers. “Dude, no way! That’s so sick! Are you planning on opening a practice? Or do you plan on going the more scientific route?” You flush slightly, not expecting to be put on the spot. “Uh, yeah definitely the more scientific route. I’ve interned at the local humane society’s med lab a few times and plan on applying there after graduation.” Stan nodded his head as he listened, the single black cross earring dangling as nodded. “Seriously? I volunteered there recently! Did you meet Mark? Oh my god, he’s so annoying,” You watched Stan as he spoke, and as much as you’d have liked to take in any of the information he was saying, he was just so goddamn pretty. How’s that meme go? “Whatever you say handsome”? You nod, occasionally throwing in a ‘mhm’ or a ‘yeah’ to show that you’re listening. 

   The rest of the conversation went smoothly, learning more about the three of them. You could tell that they’d been friends before partners with the way their chemistry flowed so well. It almost made you jealous. Okay, it  definitely made you jealous. You went into this house with one unattainable crush, and you came out with an additional two. Just the kind of shit luck you have.

Thursday at 8:21 pm

The car pulls to a halt in front of your Dorm, bringing a wave of relief over you. Before you move to get out, Kyle turns to you with his phone in his extended hand. “Can you put your number in before you go? It’s easier than the stupid campus email. The damn thing asks me to verify like 16 different ways before it lets me in.” Kyle scowls and you have to fight back a laugh. “No, for real! It’s like, I promise you no one is trying to hack into a Denver State student’s email.” You grabbed his phone from his hand, typed your numbers into the contact box and clicked save. “There you go.” You smiled and grabbed your bag from between your legs, exiting the car and closing the door quickly, walking to the other side of the car and toward your Dorm. “Thanks

 for the ride, Kyle. See you next week.” You wave before turning towards the building and walking off. You all but jogged up the stairs to your floor, basically throwing yourself into your shared dorm. “Evan!” You called out as you shed your coat and shoes. “Shit. I gotta hop off for the night guys, GG.” You flopped yourself dramatically onto the couch next to him as he pulled off his headset. “I’m fucked.” Evan rolls his eyes. “Didn’t we establish this yesterday? What’s new?” You groan and sit up to look him in the eye. “What's new is that he has not one, but two boyfriends! And they’re both just as beautiful as Kyle!” “Damn, you have a crush on the whole polycule? Could you have chosen anyone worse?” Evan chuckled softly after the comment, but it came out more pitiful than happy. “Not funny, Ev.” Evan sighed, hand coming up to rub your shoulder. “Chin up, dude. Odds are, this whole crush thing blows over in a couple of weeks!” Well, maybe he’s right. Knowing they’re all off the market might make the feelings dissolve. You could only hope.

[fosterworks-art]

Thought WAY too hard about undergrad Phoenix, and now Amazon thinks I'm a lawyer.

Commissions || Store || patreon || Webcomic

Just in case you can't read my handwriting, please look below for the notes. The below notes are a tad differently written + there may be some extra info I couldn't put in the sketches.

Page 1 - 18 y/o Phoenix

He majors in Criminology and Studio Art. So his main courses are Criminal Justice & Criminology, and Drawing.

He disappeared sometime after DL-6 and showed up with short hair, living in a duplex.

Studying to be a prosecutor - or cartoonist. His reasoning to becoming a prosecutor is unclear, he gives different answers (He can't do math, money and respect, it's a good job), he does genuinely want to help people through prosecuting, though.

Larry and Phoenix haven't seen each other for eight years, but did exchange letters.

For Larry, I wrote a couple notes for him: Going from job to job (and girl to girl) - Pretty good with tech and mechanics. That's a reference to the Thinker clocks, because it's impressive that he made them.

Page 2 - 19 y/o

Poker Hobbyist

Draws and sells card decks (and doujinshis)

People say he has a great poker face.

Also super friendly, just a doormat.

Friends don't know much about him and he doesn't talk about himself much.

He didn't remember Miles or the class trial until he saw the newspaper

That's when he decides to switch from being a prosecutor to being a defense attorney.

It doesn't change much about school.

Page 3 - 20 y/o

He's been taking summer classes this entire time. So he's a senior by 20.

He's a hard worker, and very tired. But he needs to meet Edgeworth asap.

Starts shrimping

People generally know him as a sweetheart and a softie, and a doormat. His classmates also realize that he could be a bit mean.

Heard about the Armando poisoning, but believed it was a different Dahlia Hawthorne. The one he was dating wouldn't harm a soul.

He trusted his girlfriend more than anyone, but never showed his true face until their last date. (He wore makeup and colored contacts throughout high school and college, only Larry knows what he really looks like.)

Couldn't see each other much, because they were both so busy.

Page 4- Born April 11th, 1993

This is what he looked like before the Doug Swallow trial. I just wanted to draw him when he wasn't sick, because the mask would cover the makeup.

(Just pretend I know what I'm doing with the hospital drawing)

Phoenix's 21st Birthday Presents

Not Guilty verdict

Hospital Bill

Botched Surgery (awake, aware, remembered)

Aversion to chips, pills, and romantic relationships

Friend (Mia Fey)

He didn't stay in the hospital for long and refused medication.

Yes he was in excruciating pain. Yes he finished his exams.

He ate glass, he can take it.

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Can I request college!Rejanis as roommates who start off still not liking each other, but slowly start getting closer during the late nights they stay up studying.

Things Take Time, Right?

|| Regina George x Janis Imi'ike

|| Warnings; college au, swearing, Regina and Janis arguing, relationship repair, slow burn (with no clear ending), college party mentions

|| Summary; when Janis comes home from studying, she's met with a sight she never thought she would see.

Requests closed!

Started; November 11th

Finished; November 11th

~~~

College. Janis had started off pretty excited, that was until she learnt who her roommate was. How the hell was her luck that bad?! Regina George?! Was this a fucking joke? A nightmare she would wake up from? Unfortunately no. As she now found herself face to face with the blonde devil. Ugh, just what she wanted. Mondays were already annoying as is. And now she finds out Regina George is her roommate. On a Monday. Worse Monday in history.

Regina was just as thrilled as Janis was. She'd even gone the extra length to try and change rooms, but nobody budged out of theirs. The scream she let out when she returned to her dorm was deafening. Janis grimaced when she heard it and came out of her room to face the blonde.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Janis folded her arms across her chest, honestly if she had to listen to that scream one more time.. she would set the whole dorm on fire. Consequences be damned.

"Ugh, just shut up." Regina shoved past her, getting into her room and slamming the door behind her. Janis groaned loudly and stomped back to her own room. This would be a long ass year. Maybe in the new semester she could get a roommate switch...

It wasn't long before classes started. Janis tried to focus on her work, but Regina had parties pretty much every night. Almost sure the blonde was doing it just to piss her off. So she would spend most of her nights at the library, staying at the school as late as she possibly could just to avoid it all. Avoid her.

That was, until Regina realized she needed to actually get a grip on her classes. Her grades were slipping, so she threw less parties. Pissing off Janis wasn't worth the poor grades she was getting as a result. No matter how fun it may have been.

One night, after Janis returned from her study session. She found Regina on the dorm couch. Furiously writing into her notebooks while reading off pages from textbooks. Janis raised an eyebrow and smirked," did hell freeze over?" She asked. Regina scoffed and didn't respond. "Careful, gonna burn a hole through your paper at this rate."

"Fuck off." Regina threw her eraser at her, but missed and Janis just laughed. Walking over and taking a seat beside her. She looked over Regina's notes.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you study for anything." Honestly, Janis was amazed by the sight. She never thought she would see it.

"Just... stop. I'm trying to concentrate." Regina muttered, looking through the textbook again to make sure she hasn't missed anything. She knew she had a test coming up and if she got perfect, it would seriously help her grades.

"Not so fun when someone's distracting you, is it?" Janis retorted, earning a sharp glare. She raised her hands in innocence as she stood," fine, fine." Janis walked over to the little kitchen, getting some pizza pockets from the fridge and heating them up. Regina paused as the smell of food flooded her nose. When was the last time she ate? She glanced up at Janis, eyes softening ever so slightly.

"Could we share? I'll buy you something in the cafeteria tomorrow." Regina asked slowly, treading carefully and trying to seem innocent. As though she hasn't been a bitch to Janis. Janis simply sighed and raised an eyebrow at her. Debating it over in her head, she really wanted to say no. But she knew both of them were low on food. Neither has gone out grocery shopping in a hot minute; being too busy with classes. Though she still really wanted to say no, she also knew that would just make her life more miserable.

"Fine." When the pizza pockets were done, she tossed one at Regina with a smirk. "Catch."

Regina fumbled it and glared at Janis who burst out laughing, but luckily it only landed in Regina's lap. And not the ground. She took a bite from it and looked at her," ..thanks."

"Don't work yourself too hard, Reginald." Janis teased, earning an eye roll from Regina.

Janis headed into her own room. Maybe... things could be okay between them. They would never be perfect, but they'd be okay. Eventually. Things take time, right?

[apchhii]

Headcanons on RDR2 characters, but they in Russian school

i saw video on tiktok by @3dxt.by.issie bout british school and decided to do it with my country😈😈😈😈

it's all not serious btw

Arthur Morgan

Russian name Artur (wow) Mogilev

10th grade

- hangs out with Dutch

- teachers often ask him to move something (desks, chairs, boxes, etc.)

- bad at math

- favorite of the teacher in Russian language and literature, who sends him to the Olympiads, but he never even tries to write them normally, so he never won

- almost all girls at school are pining for him, but his heart is busy (or he is gay).

Dutch van der Linde

Russian name Daniel Wasserman

11th grade

-the coolest guy in school

-good grades only because he can negotiate with teachers (and bribe them)

-flirts with 9th graders, even though he's dating Molly

-talks to teachers in class, and if he fails, he continues to chat with his classmates and desk mate Micah

-he always has the most valentines on February 14, especially from 6th graders

- rarely observes the dress code, it is almost impossible to see him in a tucked-in shirt.

Hosea Matthews

Russian name Khariton Matveyevich

teacher of Russian language and literature

- there are rumors about him that he is the scariest and strictest teacher in the whole school, but, having come to his lesson, children are convinced of the opposite

-really tries to teach children something, although his teaching methods are quite outdated

- always goes to meet students, is ready to help them, even the most beaten-up hooligans

- he is quite easy to talk to. During the whole lesson he can tell stories from his youth, about ice cream for 3 kopecks (cents), how life in USSR was better and so on.

John Marston

Russian name Ivan Markov

10th grade

-friend with Arthur since kindergarten and live with him in the same khrushchevka

- dumb

- when called to the blackboard, he stalls on purpose and is very dumb, but sometimes not on purpose

- problems with math, physics and chemistry, surprisingly good in social studies

- skips physical education, although all standards always passes on excellent (he is just lazy to carry with him a sports uniform)

- to see him in a jacket or in general observing the school uniform - a miracle

-date with girl from parallel class - Abigail.

Sadie Adler

Russian name Sasha (Alexandra) Agapova

10th grade

- a new girl

- practically does not communicate with anyone, she'sas quiet as possible

- no one bullies her or even tries to after she broke Micah's nose for slapping her on the butt

- she's frighteningly fast at assembling and disassembling a machine gun, and seems to be the only one who REALLY knows about life safety (i don't know how to translate this subject on English correctly)

- she's only friends with Abigail from the parallel class.

Russian translation:

Артур Морган:

русское имя Артур (вау) Могилев

10 класс

•тусуется с Датчем

•учителя часто просят его что-то перетащить (парты, стулья, коробки и тп)

•плох в математике

•любимчик учительницы по русскому языку и литературе, которая отправляет его на олимпиады, но он никогда даже не старается их написать нормально, потому никогда не побеждал

•по нему сохнут почти все девочки в школе, но его сердце занято

Датч ван дер Линде:

русское имя Даниил Вассерман

11 класс

•самый крутой парень в школе

•хорошие оценки только потому, что умеет договариваться с учителями (и подкупать их)

•флиртует с 9 классницами, хотя встречается с Молли

•на уроках заговаривает зубы учителям, а если не получилось, то продолжает болтать с одноклассниками и соседом по парте Майкой

•у него всегда больше всего валентинок на 14 февраля, особенно от 6-классниц

•редко соблюдает дресс код, увидеть его в заправленной рубашке практически невозможно

Хозея Мэттьюз:

русское имя Харитон Матвеевич

преподаватель русского языка и литературы

•про него ходят слухи, что он самый страшный и строгий учитель по всей школе, но, придя к нему на урок, дети убеждаются в обратном

•реально пытается научить детей хоть чему-то, хоть и его методы преподавания довольно устаревшие

•всегда идёт на встречу ученикам, готов им помочь, даже самым отбитым хулиганам

•его довольно легко разговорить. весь урок может рассказывать истории из молодости, о мороженом по 3 копейки и так далее.

Джон Марстон:

русское имя Иван Марков

10 класс

•дружит с Артуром с детского сада и живёт с ним в одной хрущевке

•тупой

•когда его вызывают к доске, то он специально тянет время и очень тупит, но иногда не специально

•проблемы с математикой, физикой и химией, на удивление хорош в обществознании

•прогуливает физкультуру, хотя все нормативы всегда сдаёт на отлично (ему просто лень тащить с собой спортивную форму)

•увидеть его в пиджаке или в целом соблюдающим школьную форму - чудо

•встречается с Эбигейл из параллельного класса

Сэди Адлер

русское имя Саша (Александра) Агапова

10 класс

•новенькая

•практически ни с кем не общается, ведёт себя максимально тихо

•её никто не задирает и даже не пытается после того, как она сломала нос Майке за то, что тот шлепнул ее по попе

•пугающе быстро умеет собирать и разбирать автомат, и кажется единственная кто РЕАЛЬНО разбирается в обж (основы безопасности жизнедеятельности)

•дружит только с Эбигейл из параллельного класса

[theposhsworld]

Ladies many of you will never level up because you let feminism manipulate you into being uncompetitive some Eastern European Sveta takes your place. With the internet competition for kind high value provider non f boy gentlemen is global. Women are only the prize to dusties.

Ladies the prize depends on basic economics. The one who is more abundant is the champion and the rarer one is the prize. Beautiful women are only a prize in high school because there are few of you since most ladies will blossom later and there are hundreds of thirsty broke dusty losers not at your level that you should not date.

If you were hot in high school you are entitled and delusional, so you are unlikely to succeed.

I am advocating the single life for most women or at most be Abdullah’s fourth wife. You are going to be happier than with some dusty.

The reality is the world is a competitive place which is why Eastern Europeans and Chinese understand this and keep winning.

Ladies complaining about plastic surgery or wearing wigs or bleaching your skin or dieting .. or whatever it is to fit the ridiculous beauty standards of virtually ever country, stay single or date broke dusty losers. Stop annoying competitive winners with your victim mindset and loser mentality. We don’t want to be broke and raise our children in poverty. If you love poverty so much that you want to raise your children in it stop making it your business.

Let me tell you what Russian gentlemen do for a chance to level up? They step in a meat grinder and die. For real. The Russian army offers Russian gentlemen who fight in Ukraine a middle class salary and a decent payout to the wife if widowed. So all of a sudden broke Russian dusties can get married if they join the army because it levels them up into the middle class. Putin said it’s better than drinking themselves to death in poverty with vodka since on women would touch that broke.

The only way a Russian dusty returns back from the war is if he loses an arm or a leg. The less attractive Russian village Svetas don’t have to go and be in Moscow or the West, they can find their equal at home who is as big of a loser as they are and a provider on top.

Russian gentlemen literally seek death and join the army for a chance to level up financially from poverty to the middle class and you are literally complaining about plastic surgery or wigs or bleaching your skin? For real?! Everything progressive teaches you to be less competitive so someone else takes your place from another country.

My father bleached his skin to get ahead at work and I fake tanned to get ahead in a beauty competition. My father had Ethiopian hair and instead of seeing himself as a victim spend an hour straightening his hair every day before work. My Afro Arab father taught me what a beauty routine was and why it mattered to reduce prejudice. He became an adviser to Yemen’s president. My father did not get anyone by crying racism is unfair but accepted Yemen as a shadier country with a lot of racism towards Afro Arabs. He married a blue blue eyed Russian woman so his children would not suffer racial discrimination but I moved to Canada and did.

My father got ahead because he had old school values a stoic who respected reality. In honour of my father who is in heaven I laser my skin. I wear cashmere in honour of my father because he said cashmere is important for respectability. We would go to London and by cashmere and I also learned about merino wool and how he got his suits tailored. My father looked like King Hailey Selseey of Ethiopia 🇪🇹.

My father went to school by donkey, worked full time and farmed full time to be the 11th best student in Yemen to get into the Harvard of the Soviet Union. To get there at age 14 my mother had no life but tutors, studies and cram school like in China.

Competition is always unfair. Someone always has an unfair advantage.

All leveled up spaces are competitive.

So ladies let me explain why there will always be beauty standards. Historically but especially today most gentlemen don’t deserve a lineage.

Let’s talk about the 1950s America or Gulf Arab countries where average Joe can carry a family. That’s 50% of the population. From 50%, how many are mean, or abusive or fat or smelly or ugly or annoying. Realistically you are left with 25% of the single male population. Half of young women are hot. So already it’s two women fighting over a father material husband. This is the best case scenario.

With the economy today 20% maybe 30% of western gentlemen are providers. Then you have red pill, divorce bitterness, 50-50, entitlement, weird sexual fetish addictions, fat, smells funny, mental health issues but refuses to see a therapist, autist who refuses social skills training who is bitter and might I continue, Tyler Perry followers, Kevin Samuels followers, people paranoid of gold diggers but want a traditional wife and all sorts of other undatedable losers.

Maybe 5-10% are father material kind generous provider gentlemen and half of you ladies are hot at 18. Okay considering obesity starts young fine 40% of you are hot chasing 5% of gentlemen. That is like 8 ladies chasing a gentleman.

In some places the ratio is higher.

The beauty standards are high and most cruel where providers are the rarest and beauty is most common. Columbia and Brazil have a developed plastic surgery industry and women die in Columbia routinely as a result of botched plastic surgery because it’s level up or die.

You know where beauty standards are not very high ? Gulf countries outside the Emirates. Lots of providers. In the Emirates Eastern European women who have gone under the knife go to compete.

Dating these days is gladiators fighting in the Collesium. If you don’t want to date a dusty, put on your sword and shied and go to the arena to compete!

Beauty standards are like your resume. Why are they there? Because 50% of young women are beautiful chasing 1% of affluent gentlemen. Beauty is common so you have to have a weird sort of beauty to stand out from the crowd to marry up. Baudelaire said beauty requires strangeness.

So when engineers apply for company like Google, they have to send their resume and a machine checks for perfect grammar and spelling and eliminates any imperfect English. An engineer doesn’t need an English degree to code but when there is a lot of competition people look for any excuse for to reduce the pile of resumes.

It’s the same with dating. When many women chase a small group of provider gentlemen ridiculous beauty standards are used to reduce the competition to a small number they can get to know. In the West it might be being thin, in another country it might be bleaching your skin and in another dangerous plastic surgery.

Often affluent gentlemen from your culture don’t like your look because it’s common and you have to change it to marry well but you can often keep most of your looks and marry another culture that finds it hot and exotic.

If in your country you have to bleach your skin and cook your hair then bleach it blonde to find a provider you can find a husband from another country who likes women of your colour with long braids. Braids might not be healthy for your hair type so wear a curly hair or Yaki hair wig. Outside of their own cultural standards for femininity most gentlemen only understand western standards that got popularized through colonialism and Hollywood or Indian standards through Bollywood.

If it were not for colonialism everyone would be ugly to everyone would be ugly to everyone outside their culture. At least western colonial beauty standards started an international common language. In the future Korea will determine all beauty standards and women will around mono lid Asian eyes plastic surgery to been seen as beautiful to gentlemen outside their culture.

K Pop bands are now the international standard for male beauty. The era of colonialism in male beauty standards is gone. It’s Koreanism. You know see western elite, royals, top healers and designers catering to K pop brand Black Pink.

In the future women around the world will be having monolid Asian surgery to compete for providers then after that everyone will look black. Africa is the fastest growing economic space so the courtesans of our children’s generation will be crimping their hair to make it like black with perms and dying their skin black because blacks will be the superior successful people of the day and you will have to look black to look boujee and a prize.

Studying fashion history I see how trends change.

If you are going to complain, rebel and look natural and healthy you will get left behind.

On the other hand if it looks obvious you are trying too hard compared to other ladies for a beauty standard where you give up your dignity for it, you will be labeled as a doormat instead of seen as beautiful.

You have to look plausibly natural but not be natural.

If you are natural you are a plain Jane who will only attract broke dusty losers.

Like fish lips or obvious unnatural dying hair or plastic surgery like fish lips is trying too hard and look cheap.

To level up you have to stop crying that beauty standards are unfair but work with them and promote economic opportunities so more gentlemen can be providers. Fight feminists and anyone who says patriarchy is bad.

If you personally insult feminists, Pickmeishas, 50-50 doormats in a nice nasty way by shaming you reduce the population that are dusty making machines. By shaming these women the dusty population goes down. That is why shaming is part of Muslim culture.

If women shame other women who are factories of low value gentlemen you will have fewer low value gentlemen and you will have to stop cooking your skin and frying your hair to compete. Shame everyone with victim mindset, socialism or money hatred. Promote prosperity.

The higher the general prosperity the lower the beauty standards and the lower the prosperity the higher the standards.

In a society where average Joe can be a generous provider he can easily compete against an entitled rich jerk with a boat full of escorts.

Beauty standards are the highest where the number of kind caring conservative provider protector gentlemen are the lowest. So promote what increases the number of high value gentlemen and shame what decreases it but don’t respond to shaming yourself. Be passive aggressive. And also promote in a positive way what increases the number.

Be at the right place at the right time and focus on the high value provider gentlemen you want and simply ignore people who don’t share your values.

The girl who gets the gold makes the rules.

The reality life is unfair and competitive so as Stephanie Synclair said you have to sacrifice who you are and your values that keep you where you are to get to the top.

Remember beauty standards are a product of female competition, whittling down the resume pile. Instead of crying how beauty standards are unfair conform or date someone from a different culture whose beauty standards you are closer to, and promote generating wealth in your society so women don’t have to pass away at the surgeon’s office trying to compete.

You can change the world unless you change your 💰bag. Accept the world as it is and not as you wish you would have it until you get your bag 💰!

[ilsolefiesta]

my 2024 solar return predictions

it's 11 days until my solar return this year. perhaps I'll write about how I spent each day leading up to and after the Solar Return. but for now, I want to explore my Solar Chart for 2024. spoiler: I hope I won't die. literally. but let's be consequent. 1. Leo Rising in the 1°. it's a really interesting story about how fate can't be avoided. Initially, I thought I would meet my Solar Return at home, with my Ascendant in Cancer in the last degree. when I saw this, I said, "no way. I don't want to deal with family issues all year." so, I decided to go to another town. ironically, this 1° change affected the Sun either. initially it was in the 3rd house but with Leo Rising it moved to the 4th. so, being the ruler of the ASC, the 4th housed Sun still emphasizes the inevitable importance of family to me this year. alright, I've got it. but still, I hope Leo will still work out. I have plans to improve my appearance and solve problems in this area that have been bothering me for a long time. additionally, I want to activate my artistic potential and become more visible and active on social media. I don't expect to become a high-class celebrity, but still... moreover, the Solar ASC is located in my Natal 11th house, so I believe it should work well.

2. the 2nd and the 3rd Solar Houses are also in Leo, with their ruler, thein the 4th house (☌ with IC, actually). ◄ as for the 2nd house: as you may know, we begin to feel the effects of the upcoming Solar Chart before the Solar Return occurs. recently, I have felt a strong desire to pursue a remote job, or at least a part-time remote job from home in addition to my current one. perhaps I could do so and work from home if we consider the fourth house as a place of real estate. the Cusp of the 2nd Solar House falls in my Natal 11th house, so I may receive some assistance from friends? I will also look for other confirming signs... ◄ as for the 3rd house, the situation is more or less clear here. as this house is responsible for brothers and sisters... my little sister is now living with me (the ruler is in the 4th house, right?). the issue is that she has exams to graduate from school next summer, and she is now studying from home remotely (the Cusp of the 3rd Solar House is in the 12th Natal House). having Solar Virgo Mercury here, I am planning to be her tutor throughout the year. aside from my siblings, the Solar Mercury is in exact ☌ with my Natal ASC. moreover, I have both Mercury and the 1st house ruling this year in profection. I believe communication, connections, and education - all activities related to the 3d (Gemini) house - will be EXTREMELY highlighted this year. well, I hope so. it should be interesting. the connection with the 12th Natal House... will I continue writing about astrology? who knows. by the way, it's fun, but I already feel the urge to re-take an exam to receive a driving license that I gave up on last year (also the issue of the 3rd House).

3. I've already mentioned my 4th house a lot, and I want to add that I have Solar Virgo IC located in my 1st Natal house. my Solar 4th house Venus is in ☌ with my Natal 2nd house Venus in Libra. I am currently undergoing renovations at my place of residence. I need to paint the walls, buy a new bed, a high mirror etc... the upcoming beautification of my home is quite predictable, and it, obviously, requires money. so, hi, 2nd Natal House...

4. the 5, 6 house. interesting situation, because I little bit lack of ideas.

Solar House - Sign - Placements - SH Cusp in Natal House:

5H - Scorpio - Sagittarius Vertex ☌ Natal IC, Pluto, Chiron - 2H. 6H - Sagittarius - Pluto in Capricorn's last ° ☌ Solar Aquarius DSC and Part of Fortune - 4H.

overall connection of 4, 5, 6 and 7 houses... I also have Solar Juno in the 4th house. idk what is it, predestined relationship with someone different than me and related to my work? I've given up on relationships and prefer to see it as a business opportunity. I really hope that my artistic potential will be unlocked and that I can monetize my skills. with the 5th house Sagittarius Vertex on the Natal IC I may receive recognition or support from family or my homeland? or, maybe, on the contrary, Sagittarius will push me to aim outside? the Cusp of the 6th house in Sagittarius could add to this. there is also an interesting placement of Solar Pluto. the matter is that it aims to leave the 6th house and has ☌ with Solar DSC and Part of Fortune. I had a very... heavy 6th house for several last years, and I've been feeling overwhelmed by routine. perhaps this is a sign that my work process will change and I need to rely on partnerships more. If we consider it from a health perspective, I think I understand what changes it may bring to my daily routine. I'm planning to get braces this year. God bless, my Pluto this year is mostly positively aspected - being in the connection with the DSC it obviously ☍ ASC. And □ the 5th house. however, my Uranus is strong in Natal 5th house. + Solar Pluto makes △ with Solar Sun and Uranus. so I think everything will be fine, despite my fear of some unexpected health effects from Pluto. moreover, I have additional signs. but I'll write about them later.

5. DSC and the 7th house. it's the most difficult part for me to analyze, as I'm totally dumb with any relations. well, I have Part of Fortune in Aquarius ☌ Natal Neptune here. and I can't say for sure whether it will make my luck dream-like or make me completely blind and overestimate myself. well, DSC ruler Uranus is in the 11th house in Taurus, also placed in the 9th Natal House. the Solar DSC is in the 5th Natal House. please, I'm so tired of drama, please, can it be something fun, light and cool? (haha, Pluto ☌ is like "hello-hello, no, haha"...)

6. the 8 and 9th houses. both are in Aquarius.

the 8th Solar house, despite being empty, is located in the 5th Natal house. remember my question from the previous point? well, answer is "no" once again, I guess...

the ruler is in the Solar 11th house (in the Natal 9th). betrayal from friends? new foreign dangerous friends? some transforming experience with education and collectives? still, it's not that bad, my Natal 8th house (Aries) ruler is Mars in the 12th house, so should I be used to the 8th house things? however, Aquarius is still a little bit frightening with its unexpectedness...

the 9th house... the Moon and Saturn are here. exactly just like in my Natal, ha. guess, I shouldn't even hope to go travel abroad this year. again, like the whole life before. both the Moon and Saturn are in Pisces. despite my Natal Taurus Moon doesn't allow me to regret these restrictions too much, guess, Pisces Moon can make me more vulnerable to this topic throughout the year. I'll probably continue learning languages and maybe even make foreign friends with the ruler in the 11th house. also Solar Saturn ☌ Natal DSC in Pisces. probably it may signify someone older who can teach me how to communicate and maintain partnerships? yes, in Natal Chart Saturn is ruling my 5th house, but I prefer not to focus on relationships to avoid disappointment later.

7. the Solar MC is in Pisces. ☌ with the Solar Moon. the Cusp is in the 7th Natal house. Neptune, ruling the MC, is also here. again, some distortion of my career/public relations vision? am I in danger of underestimating something? it would be interesting to see how I will deal with this. the best of the best is starting right now. Aries North Node and Chiron in the 10th house. it could be great and maybe give me some energy an resources. however. the North Node is in ☌ with the Natal 8th Cusp. Chiron, consequently, is in the 8th Natal House either. does this mean that career development could harm me, or should I break myself and, regardless, develop leadership and inner resources for success in my career? it's scary. btw, Solar Chiron ☍ Solar Venus. I guess I'll continue to make my appearance far from "traditional venusian" - I've had this aspect this year either - tattoos, piercings etc.

8. the 11th Solar house in Taurus (the Cusp lies in the 8th Natal House). strange combination. from the one hand, it's absolutely not the best placement. on the other hand, benefic Jupiter is here. on the OTHER hand, it's essentially weak (in Gemini) and has □ with the Sun, Moon, IC and 10th house. on the OTHER hand, it has the same sign I have in my Natal Chart and it's considered to be beneficial... hardly understand what to expect from Jupiter. especially as I had hoped for blessings from having it in the 1st house this year, but nothing "jupiterial" happened at all. Uranus is also here, so I anticipate some changes in relationships with friends and possibly a shift in understanding of myself within the group. also having Solar Taurus Uranus close to my Natal Saturn, along with other placements, makes me slightly anxious about my elderly. hope, everything will be fine.

9. the last one. the Solar 12th house in Gemini. it can bring cognitive difficulties or doubts about intellectual capacity and proficiency, especially for those with Mercury as a dominant planet (me). however, I believe that this can be compensated by a strong Solar Mercury placement. the problem is that I have Cancer Mars in the 12th house and this damn Mars makes □ to the Natal 8th house and the Solar North Node. and I remember all the scary placements, like Pluto and Chiron, as well as the North Node. I was still trying to maintain my composure at that point. and what else?! Mars? amazing. I really hope I won't die or become seriously ill or injured, nor will my loved ones. btw, the connected 6, 8 and 12 houses in Solar Chart are the main indicators of some disastrous events, and I pray that this year will be a year of great transformation, not a year of losing something or someone important..

that's how it is.

Thank you for reading!

Picture credits: Pinterest

[ladykailitha]

The Magic of Christmas Part 6/8

Angst up ahead. Sorry. I had to rough things up a bit so they didn't get together too soon. But hey, at least it's Halloween. And yes, this was actually something my friends and I used to do for Halloween. It was fun.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

***

October in the Midwest was as beautiful as it was harsh. The temperature would take a sharp decline around this time of year, and if you weren’t prepared you could get caught outside in cold ass weather in a light jacket with no gloves, no hat, no boots.

In short, Steve in this moment.

He had gone off to work assuming it would be as warm as it was the day before. But no. Mother Nature had decided that summer was officially over, autumn was a fleeting season, and that winter was here.

So yeah, he was fucking miserable. He spotted Robin all nice and cozy and protested.

“How did you know it was going to be so cold?” he whined.

She rolled her eyes at him. “The weather app on my phone?”

Steve cursed under his breath. “It was literally sixty degrees yesterday, how am I freezing my balls off?”

Robin made a face. “Ew.”

A dark grin took over his face.

“What?” she asked as he inched closer. “Whatever you are about to do, don’t.”

He pounced and managed to get his cold hands under her coat close to her skin and she shrieked, trying to get away.

He chased her trying to warm his hands up.

Eddie arrived a few minutes later to find them rosy cheeked and laughing their asses off.

“You didn’t have to wait for me outside, you know?” he said, tugging on Steve’s sleeve to guide him toward the doors that would lead into the restaurant.

Robin peered around him as though she was looking for someone. “Chrissy not coming?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Eddie said, “Her finance professor decided that he was going to have pop quiz tomorrow and only gave them two days to study for it.”

Steve grimaced. “I bet it was Callahan. That guy’s an ass. Especially if there are more than three girls in his class.”

Eddie tilted his head to the side. “That’s right, I forgot you must have gotten your business degree if you’re running your own business.”

“Worthless as it is to actual fucking business,” he groused.

They walked into the restaurant and Eddie immediately clocked why they had been waiting for him outside. It was hotter than the Devil’s tit in here and it was crammed wall to wall with people.

“Reservations for four under the name Harrington,” Steve said when they reached the hostess.

She scanned her list. “No one under that name for tonight.”

Steve frowned. “Today is the 11th, right? It is six o’clock right? How is my name not on the list?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” the hostess said briskly. “There is no one under that name for six o’clock.”

“How about Buckley?” Robin asked, stepping forward.

She scanned her list again. “Nothing for six.”

Eddie frowned. “Okay, then for what time?”

The hostess blinked at him. “Excuse me?”

“You clearly have a Buckley on your list,” Eddie explained, “as you didn’t say no to the name, just the time. So what time is the reservation for?”

“Well,” the hostess said with a sneer, “if you can’t remember the time, how do I know you are the Buckley that made the reservation?”

Robin pulled out her ID and handed it to her. “It’s under Robin Buckley for tonight, if not 6pm then 6:30pm.”

The hostess took her ID and looked from it to her and then back again several times. She sighed heavily. “Yes, we have a reservation at 6:30 under that name.”

They were shown to their seats and sat down.

The food was terrible, the service was worse, and the prices for the food were exorbitant for what they got.

Steve left the bare minimum of a tip, roughly eighteen percent and they were chased out of the restaurant by a screaming server demanding more tip.

“Well that was horrific,” Robin said as they all huddled inside Steve’s car, waiting for the cops to arrive so that they could get the screaming lady away from them so Eddie could get to his van and Steve could drive off safely.

“And who’s idea was this anyway?” Eddie hissed. He had never been treated that badly by anyone in his life. And he was a metalhead in high school.

Steve ducked his head down. “It was mine. But I had heard nothing but good things about it from my colleagues for weeks. I just want to do something unique.”

“That was unique all right,” Eddie growled. “Getting yelled and chased for leaving a decent tip. Congrats, zero for ten would never do it again.”

“I’m sorry!” he cried. “It’s never happened to me before either.”

“Whatever.”

Just then the cops arrived and the server went dashing back into restaurant the second she saw them. They talked to Steve and got his information and his version of events. Ten minutes later, Steve and Robin were on their way home in silence and a very pissed off Eddie was on his way back to his place.

*

“Edward Allen Munson!” Chrissy snapped after Eddie told her about his night. “Are you seriously telling me that you think that Steve, your Steve would deliberately take you to a restaurant were they were rude to you, the food was bad, and then proceed to get chased out said restaurant to humiliate you?”

“Not when you say it like that,” he muttered looking down at his hands.

“You think?!” she screeched. “How could you possibly think that of Steve?”

Eddie picked at the thread of the rip of the knee of his jeans. “It was a lapse in judgment, okay! I don’t really think of him like that! I don’t. I–I don’t.”

“So do you want to tell me what was going through your head?” Chrissy asked.

“All the times that I got made fun of for the way I dress,” Eddie muttered, “the music I liked, the games I played, the art I drew. I could see it all happening again like it was in slow motion.”

She threw her arms around his shoulders. “But Steve isn’t like that. He hired you for you. Your art, the way you dress. Then he liked you as a person. A person who made him laugh, who drew him out of his shell, who looked him in the eye and said, ‘I won’t hurt you.’ Only you did, Ed. So much.”

“I’ll make it up to him,” Eddie promised.

“You better.”

*

Only two days later Robin messaged him to say that one the charities he was on the board for just got indicted for fraud and that for the next couple of weeks Steve was going to be living in the office until got it figured out.

But apparently the universe was out to get Eddie because the next thing he knew Steve was on his way to London because one of the companies Steve’s own company had been trying to buy for literal years was finally willing to sell.

So off Steve went. And Robin went with him. Leaving behind two very bereft artists.

It was getting close to Halloween and Eddie was getting worried. So he called Robin.

“You guys will be back in time for Halloween, right?” he asked nervously. “I’m not DMing a one-shot in your house if you guys aren’t in it.”

“We’re working on it,” Robin promised. “It’s just one of the original owners is dragging his feet on one sentence in one paragraph. And it’s stupid and pointless.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry. That does sound bad.”

“I’ll keep you guys posted,” she said firmly. “We’ll make it back even if I have to shank the old bastard.”

Eddie laughed feeling easier about the Halloween party.

“I’ll be your alibi,” he said with a grin.

“You’re on!”

*

They barely made it in town by the 29th. Steve was running on two hours of sleep and bleary-eyed when he fell into bed that night. Robin had insisted that they stay up until at least nine to avoid jetlag.

Something that Steve struggled with mightily, but sleep was bliss once he was allowed to crawl into his bed.

He woke up at eleven the next morning, still tired, but finally alive enough to function beyond zombie-like.

Robin and Steve got to work cleaning the house. Technically Claudia and Dustin lived there, too. But she had recently started dating again and spent most of her time at his place. So in the house hadn’t been lived in during the two weeks they were gone.

They got the dining room set up for the game and then went shopping. Steve was going all out.

He bought ingredients for pizza and as many toppings as he could think of. Sausage, ground beef, bacon, peppers, onions, mushrooms, ham, hell he even grabbed pineapple in case someone wanted it. He was also making two different kinds of sauce. A white cheese and a marinara.

He got everything prepared and in the fridge, then tomorrow he was going to make the dough.

“You have really outdone yourself,” Robin said patting him on the shoulder. “Those little shitheads better appreciate your hard work.”

Steve scoffed. “They won’t.”

“True,” Robin said with a laugh.

*

Eddie wasn’t sure what he thought of Steve’s house. At least from the outside. It was very post modern and a little ugly.

But when he was led in, he fell in love with the place. It was warm and welcoming and so soft.

If Eddie had been a writer he would have spoke to the metaphor of the house being like Steve. Looking pretentious and aloof on the outside, but warm and inviting on the inside.

The guilt from the last time he saw Steve burned in his gut. He had railed against judging a book by its cover for so long, that he forgot what that actually meant.

“So are the kids here yet?” Eddie asked as she took his coat.

Robin shook her head. “Not yet. But they should be in about a half hour. Steve wanted to give you time to set up before they got here to ‘deepen the surprise’ as he called it.”

Eddie grinned. “Lead the way!”

She lead him to the dinning room with the long oak wood table. It was gorgeous.

“We don’t usually eat in here,” she said as he set up. “There’s a lovely little breakfast nook in the kitchen that’s better suited for our eating needs, but I figured that you’d want more space for your game.”

“Brilliant as always, Birdie,” Eddie said, kissing her cheek.

“Oi!” Steve said from the other door to the dinning room. “No stealing my lesbian. You have one of your own.”

Eddie threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah, yeah.”

Now that the door was open delicious smells came wafting through the air.

“Holy shit, Stevie,” he gasped. “What are you making? I thought it was booze and pizza tonight, nothing fancy.”

Robin laughed as Steve ducked his head.

“This guy do anything simple?” she asked mockingly. “Never!”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Homemade just tastes better than fast food.” He turned on his heel and walked back into the kitchen.

“Only because you’re a food snob!” she crowed after him.

Eddie shook his head. “I’ve never gotten why people can be such snobs about food. It all comes out the other end in the end.”

Robin snorted. “That’s be we both grew up poor. Steve didn’t have boxed mac and cheese until he moved in with me.”

“But boxed mac is the best!” Eddie protested.

“Only if you haven’t had his grandmother’s mac and cheese. It’s made in a casserole dish with bread crumb topping and extra cheese sprinkled on top at the end for extra gooeyness.”

Eddie straightened up. “One moment please.”

He walked into the kitchen like a man on a mission. “You sir have been holding out on me. You have a grandma approved mac and cheese recipe and you haven’t shared?”

Steve who had started the rant confused, threw back his head and laughed. “Sorry, Eds. I’ll bring to the next movie night. I promise.”

Eddie nodded and then turned on his heel to go back to setting up the D&D game.

Once everything was set up and they were just waiting for the kids to arrive, Eddie took time to suss out how badly he had fucked up.

“You are going to still join us, right?” Eddie asked chewing on his lower lip nervously.

Steve crumpled. “I want to. I do, but I’m so tired.”

“You would have been so tired if you had ordered pizza like the rest of us heathens, you know that, right?” Eddie said, bumping their shoulders together.

“If I’m being honest,” Steve said, scratching his cheek, “I wasn’t sure if you’d still wanted me to.”

Eddie threw his arms around him and sighed. “I’m sorry, Stevie. Of course I want you here. It’s sometimes I get locked into the us verses them mentality and forgot that you aren’t like that.” He tilted his head to side with big smile. “Plus we get to freak out your goblins not once, but twice if you play.”

Steve blinked for a moment. “Nope, you’re absolutely right, that is a fantastic idea.”

Eddie grinned. “You can play until your first death and then you can go to bed. Robin and I will handle it from there.”

“Sounds like a perfect plan,” he said with a smile.

They were close, so close. All it would have taken was to lean forward just a little and they would have been kissing.

But of course that was when the Party decided to arrive.

Steve got down their pizza orders and popped them into the oven. Then he lead them to dining room.

“Why are we eating out here?” Mike asked. “I hate that long table, it makes me feel like a peasant in a king’s castle or some shit.”

“Robin is making the drinks,” Steve said, “which means she needs the full bar to make them. There’ll be a menu and each of you will be given cups with lines on them. Once you hit the top line, it’s water and soda for the rest of the night. Do you understand?”

Everyone nodded. Even Mike. They knew that Steve had risked a lot of clout with their parents for this and they did not want to blow that for him.

Suddenly Dustin was tugging on Steve’s sleeve. “Why is Eddie Munson in our house?”

Everyone else turned and looked at the head of the long the table. Sure enough, there was Eddie, waving at them.

“Settle on in, my stalwart adventurers,” Eddie greeted warmly. “Your D&D accouterments are over by the door. You’ll have ten minutes to get ready and then we’ll start the haunted forest one-shot campaign for five.”

Everyone looked around and counted off.

“Are you playing and DMing?” Lucas asked, tilting his head in confusion.

Steve walked over to the door and pulled out a set of brightly yellow dice and sat down next to Eddie. “Nope.”

And suddenly there was pandemonium as they realized that Steve was playing with them.

Steve ended up playing the whole night, having been sucked into the story telling. After it was over and Steve was curled up with Dustin on the floor of the living room where everyone was camped out in sleeping bags including Eddie and Robin, Dustin thanked Steve.

“This was awesome, Steve,” he murmured drowsily. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I knew how upset you were about not being able to meet him,” Steve said, “especially since I work with him all the time for the charity.”

Dustin lifted his head. “So you came up with this as a way to make up for it?”

Steve hummed.

“Thanks, Steve.”

“You’re welcome, bud.”

As they drifted off to sleep, Eddie smiled to himself under the comfort of his sleeping bag. Yeah, Steve was a good dude.

****

Part 7 Part 8

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @carlprocastinator1000 @mogami13 @samsoble

[thetourturedwritersclub]

Finis vitae sed non amoris-its the end of life but not of love

Chapter Four: December

December 1st 1976

Dear diary,

The quiz was really easy. I guess all that studying did pay off. I saw James on the hall today. I quietly observed him. He was laughing, his smile as bright as the sun. James has a very special charm, a very comforting one I would say. But he's also incredibly annoying at times (a big portion of it).

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 3rd 1976

Dear diary,

I hung out with Narcissa today. We took a walk around the Black Lake. It's her last year at Hogwarts and I don't want her to go. Narcissa is my favourite cousin. She's the one I confine in. She is like my safe space. But I want her to be happy. And if Malfoy makes her happy, so be it.

Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

December 5th 1976

Dear diary,

I had another tutoring session with Potter today. This time we discussed Amortentia. The potion of love. We spoke of the effects of the Potion and I taught him how to prepare it. One thing I've really noticed is that James, yes James. We're on a first name basis now.

Has started concentrating more and has stared paying more attention. Which is nice, it does show that our hard work is paying of. The atmosphere has become filled with a tension I can't quite name. Which is a shame because I thought we were becoming somewhat friends.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 7th 1976

Dear diary,

I finished the book Remus gave me. And it was so incredible and heartbreaking at the same time. Incredible in the way that it's written, yet while having a heartbreaking story. I feel really bad for Orpheus. His insecurities are his biggest regrets. His is going to regret his lack off trust forever

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 11th 1976

Dear diary,

Today the Hufflepuf versus Ravenclaw match took place. Pandora was doing the commentary. Now one thing to know is that Panda isn't the most well-versed when it comes to sports like Quidditch. Frankly she doesn't care at all.So the commentary involved a lot of cursing, chaotic descriptions and it was hilarious. I'm glad I saw the match. I'm glad I didn't stay in my dorm.

But I did see a pair of hazel eyes on the crowd looking at me. A pair of very pretty eyes that belonged to James Potter. He was just quietly looking at me with such a soft look on his dumb face that made me feel... strange. Really strange. His expression changed rather quickly when he noticed I was looking back at him. It went from soft, to calm to nervous and embarrassed. My face showed it less but I went threw the same mental roller coaster.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 16th 1976

Dear diary,

Merlin I have been busy. So busy. School can sometimes take you like an angry storm which lasts for days.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 17th 1976

Dear diary,

I have been invited to form a book club with Remus and Lily. Remus and I have become friends. We meet at the library occasionally. I'm really excited and happy. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

December 20th 1976

Dear diary,

Today was the last day of classes because of Winter break. Thank you Merlin! I'm spending it at Hogwarts with my friends. For five days it's Christmas so I went shopping with my friends. You say where particularly? I say outside of Hogwarts territories

We snuck out to go shopping. I noticed Barty was looking at some type of piercings machine and I got that for him. Secretly of course. For Evan I got a model of the human skeleton which came with a book about anatomy. For Dorcas I got set of paints and brushes. For Remus I got a murder mystery by Agatha Christie and a box of chocolates. For James I made a cart and got him a red sweater with an embroidered lion. It reminded me of him because he is really adamant to show his Griffindoor pride. I think it's nice and I hope he likes it. Goodbye for now.

R. A. B

December 25th 1976

Dear diary,

Merry Christmas!! We had a Christmas gathering at the common room, since we were the only students from Slytherin staying at Hogwarts.

We ate a nice breakfast and decided to explore the castle until lunch, then we ate said lunch. After that I went to the library and met Remus. The library has become our meeting spot now. I always find him there after lunch. I gave him the present and he seemed to like it.

From the library I left with an annotated copy of "Anna Karenina". Which such a sweet gesture and incredible gift. I thanked him and gave him a hug. I thought about asking him to give my gift to James but then I realised that was really cowardly so I didn't. I went and gave to him myself.

Well to be honest,he approached me first. I wished him merry christmas, asked him if I was spending it here at Hogwarts. He was and I gave him the gift. Strangely he also gave me gift in return. A necklace. A beautiful silver necklace with my name on it. He looked so nervous for my reaction, while I was thinking that this was the second most beautiful thing I ever layed eyes on. I smiled at him like a damn foul and thanked him. He helped me put it on. When his fingers touched the back of my neck I felt sparks of electricity.

He opened the gift I gave him and he looked very happy. He thanked hugged me. We took a walk together in the yard untill he had to go to his friends and I met up with mine. We went for dinner and then in the common room to open the gifts, like a big happy family.

Pandora had crocheted me an emerald green sweater, Barty got me star shaped earrings, Evan got me a new notebook and quill set, with a cart which said :" For your poems, because I know you love to write - With Love Evan", and Dorcas made me a painting.

By the end of the night I wanted to cry, tears of joy of course. Even tho I say that sometimes I feel like a parent, I'm just so grateful to be surrounded by such an incredible and thoughtful group of people. Usually I don't show a lot of emotion and have good composure but it takes so much energy to not smile all the time when people make you happy. It's just so draining to not show emotion in fear of being perceived as weak. It takes so much energy to always be so composed.

Goodbye for now,

R. A. B

December 28th 1976

Dear diary,

I reorganised my part of the dorm. Now it looks nicer. It has less of a mess and more decorations.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

December 31st 1976

Dear diary

We went to the Griffidoor New Year party today. It was nice. It wasn't extremely loud which I do appreciate. We were all so drunk. Evan and Barty were dancing, giving their all. While Sirius was singing Rasputin on top of a table. He looked crazy and I was struggling to contain my laugh. Marlene and Dorcas were making out on a corner while Panda was making moves on Lily.

I went outside for some fresh air and there I meet James. He also was there for fresh air, while drunkenly flirting with me. I had to say I was enjoying myself. Then the clock went 11:59. Almost midnight, when James Potter asked me question I never thought I'd hear from his mouth.

" Do you want to kiss me at midnight?". And then I replied with. "Only if you promise me a real kiss next year." He replied grinning "Yes." and kissed me. How much I wished that yes was true.

And then we kissed.

Goodbye for now

R. A. B

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello yall!!! This chapter features : Drunk! Starchaser, Regulus angst, Platonic moonwater, Panda lily, Rose killer, Dorlene and so much more. Also Regulus is drunk and spontaneous here. This chapter was so long and bit difficult to write bc I'm not rlly good with the emotional or romantic stuff, I'm more of a scenery and dynamics person. Tho it was so fun to write! Hope yall enjoy it!

Amazing ppl who wanted to be tagged (tell me if you want to be tagged or unttaged) :

@ivy-is-chaos

@reddamselette

@permetutotheworld

@that-stressed-out-chic

@raine-ray

@blurstardust

[ixhika-jsx]

Ixhika's studyblr 𐙚 (introduction)

I started my studyblr not long ago then a week I guess ? No body knows bout me yet tho but that doesn't matter for me...what matters is that this is my blog - MY JOURNEY

Hey you all ,

Myself Ishika a.k.a eunhee

She/her - INFP - capricorn - age 15 and half (yes I am small comparable to my class because I skipped several classes)

Born on 11 january......

I would say I am 5'5 and healthy weight (so you all can visualise me if you want)

A high-school student from India- 11th grader - non medical, Which means my subjects particularly are:

• Mathematics (weakest subject for me)

• Chemistry (love and hate relationship)

• Physics (second fab)

• English (oml fab)

• Computer science (piece of cake for me)

I actually started my studyblr because I lost interest in studies while ago because of all the stress and pressure.

when I see the studyblr community I actually feel really United yk what I mean...

Intrerests: 🚦

There are lot of things that interest me like seriously.....

Dance , singing , playing basketball , editing videos ,

writing books (fanfics , thriller , actions mostly) ,

programming ( I am actually a full stack web app developer) ,

Baking , stock market ( if you know what I mean) , learning korean (I am kinda trying¿)

Well I am into kpop and kdrama too

Targets : 🎯

I am actually currently aiming for 11th final exam GPA to be 4.7 atleast

Next milestone is of 12th boards final exam GPA to be around same 4.7

Most important milestone and the second final one is that JEE MAINS AND ADVANCE exam (yes I am a jee aspirant)

I want to do something related computer science yk and forensic science so I dunno

My back up is a lawyer/judge in business because I am actually really good in social science subjects yk and business interests me a lot so yeaa

Final milestone is that I want to be a dance choreographer.....that's actually my dream...idc it can even be part time but I am not gonna abandon it.

MY THIS YEAR *BTS* BLACK SWAN CHALLENGE

CYBER FORENSIC INVESTIGATOR *MASTERPOST*

MY POST CATEGORIES:

#studyblr ixh

#diaries ixh

#life goes on series

#writing ixh

#tips ixh

#venting series

#black swan challenge

#achievement ixh

Thats it for the introduction I guess.....I don't think there is more to add in it...uhh yeaa 🏷

I wish to make friends here in this studyblr community !! So let's be friends? 🫶🏻📎

[lyriciste]

Cool kids

Warnings: not

Time/Era: Modern AU, OC and Edmund are 17-18

Word count: 1072

Summary: Y/N and Edmund’s first meeting in UK highschool

A/N: This is my first ever fanfiction. Please tell me what you think about it, i just want to improve my writing. English is NOT my mother tongue guys. Part 2?

-

Edmund wasn’t really happy to walk into corridor’s school every morning, looking straight in front, just to not have to show them his presence. He was what we call a weirdo. ‘three months left’ he say to himself. He loved being a ghost to mind his own business and have no one interfere. It is moreover for that he regularly wears a headphone for music, just to mark boundery between them and him.

There was obviously his little sister Lucy, a young curious girl and so full of life Edmund has difficulty following her when she tells you something. Lucy was in her 11th year, and Edmund sadly smiled when he reminded his baby sister would be alone for the rest of secondary school, when he’ll be in college next September. She was a sun, like if it’s impossible to not like her. Between her feminist club, soccer team and baby-sitting, Edmund knew she will be fine. Maybe he is the one to be scared without his loved ones.

He spend most of his time with Philip, probably his only friend, Lucy and Peter. Susan was gone in United State with an anthropology scholarship. The first Pevensie studies History in London, not far from Finchley. Peter comes back on week-ends, for Lucy and his parents hapiness.

Philip was pretty popular as we say. He knows a lot of people, or people know him ? Regularly, this last took Edmund to parties or at concerts. Music was what brought them closer. They met on the record store one day after school. What Edmund particularly appreciates, was his natural way of being and sincerity. Although Phillipe is often on the right and left, with other people, he comes back every time with firendship and respect.

One day of May, the young Pevensie’s black eyes landed on her. She was sat on the floor, reading lesson, legs crossed, highlighting her Converse, having obviously already been well used. Her all oven bag was between her legs for her uniform skirt doesn’t let see her underwear. Raising his eyes, Edmund sees her long brown light hair. And what it hid was so pretty. Her thin and smooth jawline, her cheekbones, her hairy eyebrows, and her bloody blue eyes. He could see them when the bell rings, when she stood up to store her stuff. He promised himself not to dwell on people. But she was heading toward the same class than him. Edmund blessed every existing gods. He never saw her before. He followed her with his eyes, until she sat at the last row, back left. Edmund’s place was bottom right. She seems to go unoticed. We don’t know her, but she has her place. She is where she has to be.

From his sit, Edmund does not follow their math class, and at first sight, she neither. If the boy doesn’t follow the class, this is to rock better on his chair and perceive her between the two people who separate them. But she, simply seems to do something else. She comes off with somebody’s paper, that she copies word to word, making logical mistakes to make it appear that she did it herself. Her concentrate face gives her hard and more real features. Like she’s not a perfect girl everyone like to be friend with.

Edmund stared at her writting and write until the end of the class, giving her new paper leaving the room. Edmund does the same, because he did his homework, contrary to her. When entering the hallway, he saw her with another girl going to the cafetaria, giving her paper. Now she was smiling. Such a beautiful smile, taking over her entire face as she laughed.

‘Ed !’ hear the young man behind him

He knew who it was. A girl’s voice at school, it could only be Lucy.

‘My last hour teacher is absent, can you bring me home if you end at the same time please ?’

‘Yep Lu.’

He hadn’t even looked at her.

‘C’mon please be descreet’ she said when she looked at what, or who Edmund was gazing

He looked at his little sister by rolling his eyes.

‘I will be in front of the school by three o’clock. Don’t make me wait for one hour this time.’

‘I had forgotten that soccer training has been postponed. She’s cute by the way.’

‘This is why i’m looking at her.’

‘She seems to be just like you, a bit mysterious, weirdo, often by herself.’

Her brother turn his face on Lucy’s way and said ‘You know her ?’

‘I know the girl she’s with, she’s on my feminist club.’

‘What about her ?’

‘Don’t know about her, she’s not on a team or club. Sometimes i see her at the library.’

This prove that Lucy cares more about people and the world around her, than he did in his entire life.

-

At his geography class, Edmund could calm his nerve far from her. He loves geography, he one time had a geo-politic class, which he loved. Law school was a good decision when the time to choose what he could do of his life. He’s very intrested in being judge. He find it when he realizes that he could use his fairness and his sensitive side to creat a balance between, understand people and analyse a situation.

Maybe he’s not that good to care content of the fact that he never noticed her before. He hated himself for that. He never experienced such a feeling, he did not know if it was good or bad. Not bad for anyone but Edmund thinks it will be such a nightmare to spot her on corridors, but a delightful dream to see her gentle face.

Thanks God to ring that bloody bell. He ran out of the class and spotted in front of his locker. In fact he had nothing to do in his locker, he just wanted to see her once more. He waited for her until the corridor was empty, he did not saw the girl. Not wanting to be caught by a teacher, he races to his car on the parking. Throwing his bag on the backseat, he let himself leaning on the car's hood and light up a cigarette. Lucy's gonna freak out, but whatever when we are teen?

This is when he could breeth out his first inhalation on cig that she shows up.

[friend-of-wisdom]

Monday, November 11th 2024

I haven't posted in a while because I was so tired! I applied for my Master's Degree at the end of October, then 5 days later I sent the finished version of my thesis to my advisor and he made corrections on it during the weekend. He sent it back to me last Monday and today I've finished the corrections and I'm ready to send the final version of my thesis to him.

I also finished the readings for my Philosophy of Religion class and today presented a seminar at the class. I actually hate this class, but it's mandatory so i just had to deal with it against my will. Finally I'm done with that class!!!

I have to read some texts this week for the Intro to Philosophy class but it's not gonna take much of my time. I have to study german, as well. I didn't go to german class last thursday bc I was busy editing my thesis. Anyways, I feel so much lighter now that my thesis is done, i have applied for the Master's program and i'm done with Philosophy of Religion. Ugh it was a rollercoaster!!

[starsmoonandsun1]

Uranus Transiting the houses

Uranus transit through the 1st house will change the way you present yourself. You have an opportunity to free yourself from old ways of existing. You may break away from relationships that don’t serve the new version of yourself. You are open and

Uranus transit to the 2nd house can make your income inconsistent. It may be difficult to manage money. It comes it goes. This is a great time to make money through “Uranian” fields. Astrology, medical supplies, internet based business.

Uranus transit to the 3rd house may have you taking interesting classes. This transit wants to free your mind. You will develop new interests. Since this has to do with your mobility/way you get to around you may have an issue; perhaps your car breaks down , your train breaks down etc be aware of accidents

Uranus transit to the 4th house classically represent a move. That is mostly what happens. If you do not move it can signify changes in the home someone moves out, you redecorate etc This also can bring feelings of restless and instability

Because the 4th house is opposite the 10th house -the house of career in terms of polarity this can very well mean a career change. Anytime a planet crosses an angular house it represents big sweeping changes in all areas -1st 7th 4th and 10th are angular

Uranus transiting the 5th is my number one pregnancy transit. This can also bring interesting love affairs, it can make us extremely creative- innovative new ideas flow to us. We can liberate our ego and redefine ourselves. “To thy self be true” is the motto

Uranus Transiting the 6th house usually brings work that is inconsistent or something in our job changes. This is a great time to work in Uranian fields; Internet, medical, anything futuristic

Uranus transit to the 7th shakes up our relationships. You want something new, fresh, different and exciting. If you see this coming infuse your current relationship with some excitement. Singles may find relationships are inconsistent and unreliable. This is a major marriage and divorce transit

Uranus transiting the 8th house you may have someone pass away. You may receive unexpected money, your sexual desires may get ramped up You want to becomes sexually liberated, anything goes ⚡️⚡️This placement can also enhance your interest in occcult and your intuition

Uranus transits to the 9th I often see when people take a break from school, change majors, or leave school all together. I do like this transit for opening your mind. You may study astrology, technology, universal laws, an excellent time to release ridged views

Uranus transits to the 10th house sometimes you see a job loss, or a change in career path, or someone that decides to work for themselves. You really want to do your own thing, watch your behavior when an outer planet transits the 10th - this puts your business on front street. It can be a scandal placement

When Uranus transits the 11th house your group of friends may change. You may attract fun and unusual friends. Since this is also the house of groups you may become apart of some revolutionary group

“You had me at fuck the system”

When Uranus transits the 12th you may have difficulty sleeping. Your unconscious mind is highly active, you may have dreams and insights but not fully understand them till Uranus crosses into the 1st. What was repressed begins to emerge. Great time for therapy

[skzhocomments]

Dear Diary, - Kim Seungmin Fanfic - Chapter 8

General Masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 7 | Chapter 9

---

Chapter 8

Chapter word count: ~3.4k words

---

11th of April Dear Diary, I’m having a couple of hard months. I’m tired all the time, and it feels like no amount of sleep I get can fix it. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately. All my free time. Yuna keeps complaining that I do nothing else anymore. I haven’t really seen Changbin in the past two weeks, since I no longer have an appetite and stopped eating lunch at the cafeteria, and any time he wants us to meet up, I’m too busy or too tired. I tried to initiate outings as well, but it feels like it’s always the wrong time. Not to mention that things have been weird between us ever since that party last month. We’ve been dating for half a year now, and never had sex, nor did anything remotely sexual, so I can’t help but feel bad for turning him down. I just… I don’t know. I’m not sure I like him that much anymore? Fuck, this sounds bad. I enjoy spending time with him, but I have so much on my plate right now, that I don’t really feel like our relationship is a priority, you know? Work has been busy, and the next exam session comes in just two months, and I’m again not prepared at all. I haven’t even been attending any studying sessions with Seungmin lately, because I don’t really feel like getting out of my room, or doing anything, for that matter. Anyways, what’s the point, right? Whatever. Phoebe

“Thanks for saving me a seat.” I whisper as I hastily sit down next to Seungmin, trying to keep my head down to attract as little attention as possible to me. It’s bad enough that the lecture began 40 minutes ago.

“You’re late. Again.” Seungmin states matter of factly.

“I overslept.”

“Did you?” He whispers back, fidgeting with his pen. “Phoebe, you’re never on time anymore, and your undereyes are a darker shade than vantablack.”

“Stop exaggerating.” I roll my eyes.

“And stop that. You’re hurting yourself.” He continues speaking as if he didn’t hear me, yanking my hand away from my mouth.

I haven’t even noticed I’ve been biting the skin around my nails. It’s become a habit these past months.

Looking at my hands, he’s right. I should stop.

They’re bleeding.

“Sorry.” I mumble and turn away, placing both my hands under my legs to prevent myself from biting my nails any further.

It’s hard to focus on the lecture. The title on the blackboard doesn’t tell me anything, and I’ve missed half of it already, so the professor’s words make no sense. I don’t even know why I came here. I should’ve stayed in bed.

All of a sudden, I feel someone jerking my shoulder.

“Phoebe.” Seungmin looks at me expectedly, and I’m shocked to see he is standing up already.

“Yeah?”

“The lecture’s over.”

“Oh.”

“It’s been over for the past 5 minutes while I’ve been calling your name.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” I look away and start putting my belongings back in my bag. We have a one-hour break until the next class, and I’m dreading whatever Seungmin wants to say.

“Let’s get something to eat first. I’m sure you’ve skipped breakfast.”

Knowing there’s no way out, I comply and follow Seungmin outside. He takes me to a café close to our Uni; thankfully not the one I work at. I wouldn’t have wanted to see my boss again, not until my shift starts, at least.

“See? You’re doing that again.” Seungmin says all of a sudden, and I look at his concerned expression.

“What?” I ask, tightening my hand around my coffee cup, my half-eaten sandwich long forgotten on the table in front of me. I don't really feel like eating.

“You don’t pay attention to anything around you. Seriously, where’s your head at lately?”

“I’m just tired.” I reply automatically.

“All you do is sleep. Or so Yuna says.”

“Yuna’s barely staying over at the dorms these days.” I shrug.

“Her sister’s back in town, but soon enough, she’ll come back and confirm. I’m serious, what’s up? You lost weight, you look so worn out… I’m worried about you, Bee.”

“Really, Seungmin, everything’s fine, I just-”

“Bibi!” I hear and instantly turn my head around to see Changbin.

“Hey.” I let out a lazy smile. Changbin’s burst of energy is tiring and seeing him makes me grip my coffee cup even tighter and take a quick sip.

“Where have you been, stranger? You should’ve called me if you were free.” He speaks casually, although something in his tone tells me he’s slightly disappointed to see me here with Seungmin.

“We just had one hour between classes, that’s all.” I smile and move a bit to the right, giving him enough space to squeeze next to me in the small booth.

He puts an arm around my shoulders, but instead of the action feeling natural, I start feeling uncomfortable. I don’t say anything, and he doesn’t notice, but my chest feels tight, and I don’t understand why I feel so repulsed by his arm around me all of a sudden.

We’re dating after all. This should feel normal, comfortable even.

I don’t want him to keep touching me. It’s suffocating. I’m drowning, and I can’t breathe.

I shift a bit in my seat, but Changbin stays oblivious, and the worst part is, I know he’s not doing it on purpose. He has golden retriever energy; he’s just happy to see me, but he suffocates me, without even knowing it.

“Bin, can you go grab me a donut?” Seungmin asks.

“Go get it yourself.” Changbin immediately retorts.

“No. I want you to get it for me. Please?”

“Why?” Changbin whines loudly.

“Just because.”

“Ugh, fine! You’re lucky I love you.” He removes his arm from me and stands up, heading towards the counter, and I instantly start feeling better. I let air enter my lungs and I close my eyes, being able to relax once again.

When Changbin returns and hands Seungmin his donut, he says a quick thanks, but before leaving Changbin enough time to sit back down, he stands up himself.

“Time to go, Phoebe. Our class starts in 15 minutes.”

“Already?” Changbin frowns. “If you were going to get up anyway, why did you make me buy you this?”

“I like spending your money.” Seungmin shrugs and Changbin fakes a punch in his direction.

“Sorry, Binnie.” I smile apologetically, standing up as well.

“No worries. Text me later?” Changbin smiles and I wave shortly, following Seungmin out.

“You know, if you aren’t into him anymore, you should break up.” Seungmin says, and the look he gives me makes me cower.

“It’s not that, it’s just…”

“Don’t make excuses, Phoebe. It’s obvious enough. He’s the only one who doesn’t know.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him anymore, but it’s just hard to see him nowadays.”

“Be serious. You didn’t know how to run away faster from that booth when he hugged you. That’s not normal. You should be happy to see him.”

“Why are you giving me relationship advice?” I laugh briefly.

“Because I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, in case you genuinely can’t figure your feelings out.” He replies, and I immediately get a sinking feeling in my stomach. I must be acting like his ex who fell out of love with him.

“Oh, and you think you can figure them out for me?” I roll my eyes, slightly irritated, trying to not think about his ex. I don’t want to be like that. I’m not like that.

Am I?

“I didn’t say that. I just-” Seungmin starts, but I feel so irritated for some reason, that I just cut him off.

“Whatever.”

“Something’s up with you, not just with Changbin. You’re different.”

“So what?”

“Phoebe, I’m just trying to help-” He grabs my hand to make me look at him, but I immediately yank it away.

“I don’t want your help!” I let out a bit too loud, making the few people around us turn their heads. Seungmin looks shocked for a few seconds, and something shifts in his eyes – confusion, disappointment, maybe – but his gaze quickly changes to indifference.

“Fine.” He replies coldly, and we continue making our way towards class.

~

“I’m here!” My coworker rushes through the door and comes quickly to the counter.

“Hey! Thanks so much for coming, you’re a saviour.” I smile and take off my apron, untying my hair.

“No worries, this is the least I could do after you took over my shift last week. Go have fun!”

“Thanks. I’m off!” I wave and practically run out of the restaurant.

Changbin invited me to a party, and I’ve refused him again due to being assigned this shift, but after thinking a bit more about Seungmin’s words from two weeks ago, I realised that I’ve been treating Changbin unfairly.

So, I asked my coworker to cover for me tonight so I could go to the party and see if there was still anything left between me and Changbin, and even though it’s already pretty late, I’m sure I’ll find him there.

I decide against texting him to let him know. A surprise is never a bad idea.

~

The frat house is as busy as ever, with loud music echoing all the way to the end of the street, and it’s bustling with people, just as these parties usually go.

People already seem pretty drunk, and it’s hard to make my way through the front door with so many drunk students, but I manage to squeeze past and head into the living room, to see if I’m able to find my boyfriend.

There he is. I smile, noticing him from across the room, but the smile quickly falls as I see him excitedly talk to a girl I don’t recognize.

His eyes are sparkling under the lights, and she laughs at each word coming out of his mouth, and I see the way she moves to grab his biceps and whisper something in his ear.

He moves his arm slightly, as if to shake her off, but they continue talking to each other and I see her reaching out to his waist to hold onto. I’m not sure if she’s just acting drunk, or if she really is drunk, but the fact that Changbin doesn’t seem too bothered by her actions sends a pang through my heart.

I feel like a loser, standing there in the living room watching a girl flirt with my boyfriend who seems oblivious to her advances, and I feel even worse as I turn around and leave instead of marching over and making my presence known.

All the energy leaves my body as soon as I walk away from the house, and I decide to sit on a bench in the nearby park. I’m not entirely sure why my heart hurts as much as it does; I was pretty sure I no longer felt as strongly for Changbin.

Apparently, I was wrong.

I don’t even know anymore. This is so confusing, it makes my head spin.

I’m tired.

I really want to go to my room and sleep, but I don’t have the energy to stand up, so I simply lean my head back against the bench and close my eyes, trying to stop thinking.

It hurts.

Everything hurts, and it’s in shambles, and I’m breaking apart.

“Bee?” A voice I recognise says my name, and I open my eyes and turn my head around to see Seungmin looking at me with an expression I can’t quite decipher.

“Oh, hey.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Hm?” I instinctively place my hands on my cheeks. They are wet. “Oh. I haven’t noticed.”

“Okay, now I’m seriously getting concerned. Why are you crying on a bench at 12 AM? Weren’t you at work?”

“It’s nothing. I made a deal with a coworker so I could go home earlier.”

“You didn’t go home though…?”

“No, guess not.” I shrug, and Seungmin sits down next to me.

“Hey, listen… I’m sorry for the other day.” He resumes talking. Ever since our ‘fight’, things between us have been cold.

“I’m sorry too… I snapped for no reason at you. You were just being a friend.”

“Mhm.” Seungmin nods.

“I still have to give you back your camera, you know?” I chuckle. “You can’t stop being my friend.”

“I wasn’t planning to.” Seungmin chuckles as well. “I guess I was a bit… hurt?”

“Hurt?” I turn my head to look at him better. “Why?”

“Because, I don’t know, Bee. I see you, and something is wrong, and you won’t tell anyone.”

“You’re saying that as if you’re one big talker and I’m a porcupine.” I laugh slightly, still, deep down I know he’s right.

“I’m just saying. I know feelings are quite complicated, and I’ve been where you are just a little while ago. Well, on the other side of it. If anything, you’re Ria and I’m Changbin.”

“Seungmin!” I gasp. “Don’t say that! I’m nothing like Ria!”

It’s not like I haven’t thought about this before, but I don’t want him to think like that about me. I don’t.

I don’t want him to see me like a soulless monster who is out to hurt everyone around them without caring.

I care, but I’m just… tired.

That’s it.

“If I’m so wrong, you could tell me what the real truth is, then? What’s going on between you two?”

“Ugh… alright… I just… Seungmin, everything is just so overwhelming, and I wasn’t sure about anything anymore, and tonight… he invited me to a party, but I initially couldn’t go, and once my coworker agreed to change shifts, I thought I’d go and surprise him.”

As I say this, my eyes start watering up again, so I sniff slightly then continue saying everything that’s been weighting heavy on my heart for the past 30 minutes.

“I saw him talking to a girl, and they seemed to get along so well… I can’t even describe how horrible I felt. She was just so pretty, and looked absolutely perfect, and I…”

As I say everything out loud, I realise how pathetic this sounds. I don’t remember ever being so insecure in the past.

What happened to me?

“Bee, you’re all of those things, too. Not pathetic, I meant-”

Seungmin starts talking, but a sob goes past my lips, cutting him off, and I find myself hiding my face away in my palms.

“Hey,” he starts talking again, dragging my hands away with one hand and cupping my cheek with the other. His thumbs remove the tears that fall down my cheeks, and my heart skips a beat, and everything hurts.

I’ve never been so confused before. Here I am, crying my heart out on a park bench at midnight, getting comforted by a friend I’ve been mean to for the past weeks.

“I feel like I’m going crazy.” I confess, and Seungmin’s expression flicks to something I once again can’t put my finger on. His eyes get softer. “And instead of saying something, anything, I ended up going home, but I couldn’t even get there, Minnie. I’m on a bench in a park 20 minutes away from the dorms and I’m so exhausted, this day was shit and I haven’t even eaten anything, and- God, how did it get to this?!”

I cry harder.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter-” I try to play it off, but of course, Seungmin wouldn’t let me.

“It matters. Bee, there’s so much on your plate right now, of course it feels overwhelming.” Seungmin comforts me, caressing my cheek while continuing to wipe away the tears that keep falling uncontrollably. “Let’s just take it one by one, and we’ll find something, yeah? Let me help you.”

I nod.

“What would you like to start with?”

“M-maybe the Changbin situation?” I sniffled.

“Yeah. Okay.” He nods.

“I- I don’t want to be like Ria. I really don’t.”

“I know.” He smiles. “Listen, when Ria and I broke up, it really hurt. But… I figured that even if we knew each other and spent some great times together, we didn’t really click that well. We had nothing in common, and by the end of our relationship, I always felt on edge when we’d meet. Even though I tried to communicate what was making me anxious, nothing would change. At some point, you have to think about what matters to you more.”

“Do you think I should break up with him?” I ask him in a whisper, closing my eyes.

“I can’t decide that for you, Bee. But what I can tell you is, if it no longer makes you happy, you have to do something about it instead of dragging it.”

“Okay… I- I will think about it and-”

“Phoebe? What are you doing here?” I hear another familiar voice that instantly makes me open my eyes.

When I see who it is, I freeze. Seungmin is quick to remove his hands from my face and turn around, standing up as he sees Changbin approaching.

His expression is angry and confused, a large frown on his face, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Binnie, I was just-”

“You’re here with him. Again. Are you cheating on me?” He immediately asks in an accusatory tone.

“What?! No!” I immediately try defending myself and I stand up.

“No?” Changbin scoffs with a small laugh that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Do you think I’m stupid or something? And really? Seungmin? My friend?!” He continues, looking at Seungmin with such a cold gaze, it could freeze the world around him.

“We didn’t do anything, Changbin.” I say quietly.

“Yeah, because a man and a woman in their early 20s are surely not doing anything sneaking behind her boyfriend’s back just to hang out with each other. And I even invited you tonight. And you,” he points to Seungmin, “I thought you were a better friend than that.”

“I think you need to calm down a bit, and you two really need to talk.” Seungmin speaks calmly.

“Big words coming from someone who was flirting with my girlfriend 10 seconds ago.” Changbin scoffs again.

“That never happened, Bin. Phoebe needed some help, and I happened to be here. I just ran into her.”

“Phoebe needed some help?” He repeats with a sneer. “And what exactly do you need help with that you couldn’t come to me for?” Changbin looks at me, and I instinctively bite my lower lip.

I can’t talk. I can’t.

I feel like my ribs are squeezing my lungs and I can’t breathe, and the urge to burst into crying again comes back stronger, and I want to hide away from Changbin’s gaze.

It hurts seeing him look at me this way.

I look at Seungmin and want nothing more than to reach out for his hand, but he looks back at me, his eyes telling me just what he’s said earlier.

You need to make a decision.

“Listen, man. This is just a misunderstanding. No one cheated on anyone. Phoebe wouldn’t do that to you. I really think you should talk and fix it between yourselves.” Seungmin says, turning around.

Don’t go. I want to tell him. I don’t want to be left alone with Changbin. I don’t want to have to explain why I’ve been so distant.

I don’t want to have this conversation when my thoughts are a mess and I’m not certain of anything.

But he leaves, and it’s just me and Changbin, and this unbearable cold between us.

“Fine, let’s hear you explain.” Changbin looks at me again, and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to calm down.

“Explain?” I ask back, opening my eyes and trying my hardest to be composed. “Maybe you should explain to me what you were doing with that girl earlier.”

“Girl?” His face immediately drops. “How did you-”

“Know?” I cut him off. “Well, I don’t know, Changbin. Maybe I wanted to surprise my boyfriend and take time off work and show up at that stupid party.”

“Listen, nothing happened between us. When I noticed she was flirting with me, I left. Okay?”

“You sure felt comfortable having her hands all over you.”

“Says you.” He counters back. “With how Seungmin was holding your face, it looked like he was about to kiss you.”

“Changbin!” I shout, annoyed. “I was crying, and he was comforting me, okay?! He did nothing of that sort!”

“And why the hell were you crying, huh?! Why the hell aren’t you talking to me about anything?! I’m your boyfriend, for fuck’s sake!” He exclaims, clearly hurt.

“Because I don’t-” I start, but I don’t even know how I want to finish this sentence.

I don’t trust you.

I don’t want to be with you anymore.

“I’ll tell you why, Phoebe.” He says, noticing my hesitation. “I’ll make it easy on you, yeah?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“You don’t want this relationship. I get it. Let’s break up. It’s for the best.”

He waits for a few moments, perhaps hoping that I’d say something and fight for us.

But I don’t.

I can’t.

When he sees that I stay silent, he scoffs again with a curse under his breath, and he leaves.

And so, I am once again alone in the middle of this park, and my heart is breaking, and I’m so incredibly tired, I just wish I could be in bed and sleep it off.

~

Chapter 7 | Chapter 9

[tinytangerine1003]

From the ask game:

21: What I love most about myself

26: My biggest pet peeves

30: What I hate the most about work/school

Hope when you read this that the day has been lovely or will be! Either one. :D

Aww thank you ^^ I hope your day is good and interesting too <3 21: I have been told that I am a good listener. It feels nice when someone patiently hears your problems or stories or dreams or about anything you have to say. I love that I am able to do that for the people I care about. I answered both of these in another ask so copy pasting that from there (hope you don't mind 😭)

26: Yk when people with long nails scratch something or someone drags their shoes on a rough floor and that weird screeching noise it makes, I can't stand that, it makes my whole body shiver and I get chills even. 30: Actually, I am gonna write a different one here because there is a lot I hate about my school. As you start getting in senior classes your number of holidays starts getting less. Till 8th grade you get about 45 days long summer break. In 11th and 12th they reduce to about 25. Why is that? Don't older kids feel the heat too? I don't wanna attend these "extra classes" where everyone is too busy dying from the heat to focus on studying, it really isn't benefitting anyone. No one is happy being there, not the teachers and certainly not the kids. Similarly, when the fog is too thick and temperature too low in winters, only the kids till middle school get a day off. 💌💌