#Cod incorrect quote

[ragingbookdragon]

Laswell: This is the team I want you to be a medic for.

Y/N: This hellish nightmare of a squad?

Laswell: They’re not that bad.

Y/N: I have a twenty-seven year old who has an inferiority complex because he’s the youngest man here, a Scotsman who likes to have constant pissing matches that end with him speaking a language no one understands, a living Halloween decoration with so many issues I would be here for hours explaining them, I have nothing negative to say about Farah and Alex, and a grumpy old man who thinks he’s a DILF but I don’t really think he inherently knows what qualifies being a DILF but I don’t have the heart to tell him.

Laswell: Well…Farah and Alex are wonderful.

[mochroialainn]

Soap and Gaz fucking about and hitting Price in the eye

Price: Again with the eye, do you want me to call [name]?

Soap and Gaz: Nooo!!

Price: *chuckling* works every time they're scared to death of her

Name suddenly appearing: Call me for what

Price: [name], my love

...

This is so stupid but its all I can think about when I hear that tiktok audio

[thephantomsdream]

Soap: What did you do on break, Lt?

Ghost: Rode my bike and slept in an alleyway behind a bar.

Gaz: Checks out... (leaves the room)

Ghost: ...

Ghost: Want to know what I really did?

Soap: (immediately interested)

Soap: Yeah!

Ghost: (pulls out his phone)

Ghost: (shows picture of him having someone cuddled up next to him, both under a blanket, two switches in hand, both on the Stardew Valley logo screen)

Soap: (his smile falls immediately)

Soap: Wh—

Ghost: I played Stardew Valley with the missus.

Soap: The mi—?!

Ghost: Planted crops, went to the mines...

Ghost: (swipes through more pictures of them playing)

Soap: (stunned silence)

Ghost: Upgraded the house for the missus, made some town friends... (screenshots of more gameplay)

Soap: Wait—

Ghost: Even fishing. (shows a picture of him catching a legendary fish)

Ghost: The missus doesn't like fishing. (clicks his tongue) Caught them all though. (nods to himself)

Ghost: (smirks) Want to know why I'm telling you this?

Soap: (still stunned, but nods)

Ghost: Because nobody will believe you.

Ghost: (starts deleting all pictures in front of Soap)

Soap: (pained gasp)

Soap: Ye monster.

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Y/N: Fuck me if I'm wrong but- Ghost: Wrong. You are wrong Y/N: I haven't even said- Ghost, taking his shirt off: You are WRONG

[skyrigel]

Simon: Truth or dare ?

Y/n: Truth.

Simon: I dare you to kiss me now.

Y/n *getting up*: FINE !

Johnny: Is it just me who heard truth...no one else ?

Masterlist

[sunflwrapple]

Y/N : I’ll do anything you want

Ghost : anything?

Y/N : anything.

Ghost : drink more water

Y/N : what?

Ghost : go outside, get back on your workout routine, stop procrastinating—

Y/N : wait—

Ghost : continue pursuing education, achieve acclamations, manifest the best version of yourself.

Y/N : WAIT— NO— PLEASE—

[rip-cod-brainrot]

Ghost, during a mission that’s going badly: Right, lads. I think we are well and truly fucked

Soap, under his breath: I would be if you’d just give me a chance

Ghost: what

Soap: what

Gaz, frantically reloading: No. Nuh-uh. I’m not dying here. I refuse to let that be the last conversation I hear

[call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes]

Soap: You’re 37? You look younger!

Ghost: I let a demon possess me in exchange for eternal youth.

Soap: Haha, you’re so funny, Lt.

Soap leaves

Demon inside Ghost: You gotta stop saying that, mate. Someone is gonna believe you.

Ghost: I’m getting tea.

Demon inside Ghost: Oh, with biscuits?!

[v1x3n]

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Soap: Weak. I sleep with a gun.

Y/N: You’re both pathetic

Soap: What do YOU sleep with?

Y/N: Simon.

[ragingbookdragon]

Y/N: He said he likes to play catch so I asked him if he wants to catch these hands. He said yes, so I fucking hit him. What is the problem???

Ghost: You hit a general of the United States Army in front of the United States President and the Queen of England. How do you not see the problem?

Y/N: Is it because I assaulted him in front of two world leaders?

Ghost: YES IT’S BECAUSE—

[mochroialainn]

Simon *walks into the kitchen*: Bitch whats for dinner?

Y/N *softly*: Grilled chesse?

Simon: If you ever let me talk to you like that you better smack the shit out of me. If I ever talk to you like that, do you understand?

Y/N: Yeah?

Simon: Yeah

[thephantomsdream]

Price: It has 5 bedrooms, three bathrooms, full basement with laundry room, but it has room for making a couple more bedrooms and a bathroom.

Price: Was thinking of using this bedroom as a guest bedroom for now.

Price: The other bigger ones for the kids someday.

Price: An open kitchen, very big, a little bare for now.

Price: This is my office.

Price: This would be your space. You can do anything you want with it.

Price: A reading room, a gaming room, art room...

Y/N: What?

Price: In the back there's a greenhouse and a big garden. Do you like gardening or just having flowers around?

Price: I can arrange someone to come every so often to take care of the yard.

Y/N: Wait...

Price: Let me walk you through it, you'll love it.

Price: I can build a gazebo riiiight there. What do you think?

Y/N: John, enough.

Price: (tilts head confused)

Y/N: This is literally our first date.

Price: (shaking his head) None of that.

Price: What's your ring size?

[metallictastinglifesupportliquid]

Simon, bursting into the room: It's missing! Y/N: What's missing? Simon: T-the thing! I don't know! Y/N, turing around with a baby in their arms: What thing? Simon: Oh! Nevermind you have it Y/N: Y/N: You mean our CHILD??

[skyrigel]

Simon: This date is boring.

Y/n: This is not a date, you are stalking me.

Simon: As your beloved stalker I request you to go nice places.

Y/n: I need to buy groceries.

Simon: See ? Perks of getting kidnapped would be no more grocery shopping.

Y/n: ...

Simon: One pack will be okay *whispering* you don't have much time.

Y/n: ...

Simon: Is the duct tape on sale ?

Masterlist

[sunflwrapple]

[Older bf!Simon]

Y/N : why was there 5,000 transferred to my account?

Ghost : oh I thought that was gonna hit Monday

Ghost : for you, lovie

Ghost : you deserve it

Y/N : wait huh???

Y/N : for me? For what?

Y/N : just cause??

Ghost : gotta make sure my baby gets stuff paid for

Ghost : because you spending my money turns me on