#Collapsable walls

[themegachessatron]

A Review of my time in Skyrim's Prisons (Featuring some followers): Castle Dour Dungeons

The dead speak! This is part six of my ongoing series reviewing the prison facilities in each of Skyrim's major cities. I'm sorry this one took longer than the others, I just came back from a place with very poor internet and could not post for a while.

In this chapter we examine the capital of Skyrim, Solitude. Expectations for the Castle Dour Dungeons are high given its location in the imperial and indeed national capital. I'm anxious to see if it lives up to such lofty expectations or falls short and gives the Stormcloaks another reason to hate Tullius' guts.

Upon entering my cell I was presented with a notably scarce décor. There is a table provided with seating for two and a single sleeping space (are they expecting us to have friends over for lunch?). Also supplied was an adequate lighting source, an additional chair off to the other side of the cell (for all one's third wheeling needs), a waste disposal bucket, multiple sacs into which things can be placed and a pile of hay which is presumably to act as sustenance in the event a steed ends up in here for horsing around the city. I had noticed that the southern-left wall appeared to have some faulty bricking installed which I have to consider a shortcoming of the maintenance of this facility. I was about to investigate further when I encountered an issue.

He keeps doing this. It's become a recurring issue. I am here to experience this prison fully from the perspective of a prisoner and yet Inigo insists on quickly releasing me at every turn. I had asked him this time why he paid my leave and how he had acquired the funding to do so, but he responded by saying that he hadn't paid any bail at all and refused to elaborate further. I'm scared. This Khajiit clearly knows something I don't which worries me deeply.

I at this point decided "to the Far Shores with it" and did the review at whatever way I so chose. Inigo made it clear that integrity was for the feeble anyway. I examined the central room outside my cell and was greeted with a truly breath-taking sight. Apart from some choice walling which I will elaborate on later, this building is simply magnificent in terms of architecture and structure. It's a sight to behold with expertly laid out cells and a torture chamber, a feature not seen in any other prisons so far. Though the presence of a torture chamber is likely motivated by the civil war, it can also function as an effective deterrent from any hopeful escape artists trying to free themselves or reach the belongings chest to retrieve their potions of vigorous well-being or the like. The layout and structural design of this facility puts every one previously reviewed to shame, with one exception.

This wall is frankly pathetic. It obviously stuck out from the moment I arrived and exposing it to so much as a minor gust fully collapsed a person-sized chunk of the wall leading to a potential escape route. Now, I'm hardly a qualified construction worker but this does not seem well put together at all and creates a myriad of issues, least of all giving prisoners an escape route. Falling bricks may not only put the safety of prisoners at risk but unattended bricks may be used as weaponry to attack innocents. This is simply shoddy and nothing else. I had expected better.

Following the resulting path led to a greater issue. This path goes directly to the prisoner belonging chest and leaves said chest fully exposed. Now admittedly the chest, like all belongings chests, is protected by a very strong lock but the point still stands that easy access is granted to prisoners who are afforded the luxury of retrieving their aforementioned potions of vigorous well-being to keep themselves in shape during the escape should an altercation break out. This opening, much like the faulty walling that created this escape route, is also the result of shoddy build quality and upkeep in Castle Dour. It may look impressive but it very evidently folds like a deck of cards.

Beyond this lay a very short trip to the exit out into the city through a sewer drain. This exit combines the worst elements of Dragonsreach Dungeon and Riften Jail to form an utterly uninspired and uninteresting route to escape that leaves little to make the escape feel special for the fleeing criminal. Still, I suppose beggars cannot be choosers when you are escaping prison.

Emerging from the drain onto the city streets reunited me with my team who, with the exception of the ever-unpredictable Inigo had decided not to partake in the bulk of this review. They had been fortunately spared from the events that led to my Solitude arrest which may or may not have involved getting up onto a stage in the middle of a public execution and singing a song about Goblins (A song which Jordan found particularly entertaining). What I had failed to account for during my following of the escape trail was the Imperial guard finding the wall hole during my escape and following it to chase me down under a new separate charge of destroying Imperial property. This was unexpected, but not unwelcome as it showed diligence in the Imperial guards which I hadn't expected from soldiers not out in the front lines of the war.

In closing, Castle Dour Dungeons were not quite what I had hoped they would be. I had expected a gold standard of quality and while they do excel in guardsman training, interior design and torture, they fall flat in furnishings of cells and structural integrity, two areas I had expected the very wealthy capital city to excel in.

Final score: Seven Potions of Vigorous Well-Being out of Ten Potions of Vigorous Well-Being

Thank you for reading this review. Next time we examine the opposing side of the civil war and see what Ulfric does with people who feel like being just a bit too kind to the Argonian dock workers.

PS: Don't expect another long gap between reviews. That was a one-off and regular service should resume.

[nobleriver]

The Doctor and River Song + Being A Besotted Old Married Couple

I’m all yours, Sweetie.  Only River Song gets to call me that.

Bonus:

[freyadragonlord]

I feel like the biggest difference between Kim Dokja and Han Yoojin is that while Dokja has for the most part carefully constructed his freak persona as a way to protect his vulnerabilities and trick his companions into believing he has his shit together, Yoojin just naturally is the freakiest little menace the world has ever seen

[thewordsarestuckinmyhead]

how it feels as a writer to refrain yourself from sharing anything about a WIP until it’s fully done.

[jackass-democrats]

Free loaders feed off of the working people and vote democrat.

As always, never buy anything made in china. Don't ever trust a democrat and NEVER leave your child alone with one.

[solargeist]

had a dream that Grian told Xelqua “No” to something, so Xelqua had a little tantrum and took all the screws out of Grian’s house via Watcher magic

[xhaunique]

The Cycle won this round.

Fanart of Trout from the webcomic "What Lurks Beneath" by ArualMeow.

[jackassdemocrats]

Trump 2024

[forsoobado137]

The Olympic chocolate muffin saga is the best part about the Olympics. I think the funniest thing is the videos of the other athletes being like "no muffins left the Norwegian swimmer ate them all." Now I can't stop thinking about Norway hogging all the muffins from the Nordics. The moment he gets his hands on any chocolate dessert, there's no going back, and they will have to stage an intervention to stop his outrageous muffin consumption.

[mebis-reblogs]

Reminder that there's a very big fracture on moon's superstructure letting light (and rain) in

[alliebirb]

Atom Eve next season needs less time as Mark’s therapist and more time going balls to wall w/ her OP powers!!!! I’m tired of this green lantern object generation, have her turn the air in a viltrumite’s lungs into mayonnaise!!!!!!!

[fantasticalleigh]

drew "look at me" mcintyre

high ponytail drew is my favorite drew <3 if you couldn't tell

[jackass-democrats]

[hyperfixated-maybe]

Don't you know the Devil wears a suit and tie

I saw him driving down the 61 in early July

White as a cotton field and sharp as a knife

I heard him howlin’ as he passed me by

Imaginary Appalachia has been playing nonstop in my head since I saw Spinny’s post. This song in particular is about THESE THREE ASSHOLES. I mean guys. Okay so the Devil? Scar.

“I know you I know you, young man

I know you by the state of your hands

You're a six string picker

Just as I... I am

Let me learn ya some I know a few turns to make all the girls dance”

Devil says “I know you”. He sees how they feel cheated, just like he did. He sees the anger in these three and he uses it to convince them to join the army, because he knows first hand what that anger will make them willing to do. They are just like him, and if they follow him they will reach their goals.

Foolish foolish was I

Damn my foolish eyes

Cause that man's lessons had a price

Oh sweet price

My sweet soul

Everlasting

My very own

Eternal light

Then Ushari died. And they should NEVER have dealt with an evil lion like that. They are paying the price with the love of their lives.

^^^this is basically my version of a speedpaint… This took FOREVER and I am so proud of it.

[melon-colli]

🩸Have a Varre-ful day!💉

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[maiios]

bug

designs by @lyss-butterscotch