#Dont compare Yourself with others
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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hmmm. thinking about how veilguard seems to subscribe more to the more traditional "video game as personal power fulfillment fantasy of heroism" than any other dragon age game, except perhaps origins, though origins does it more artfully.
#da2 certainly is not a power fulfillment fantasy#and inquisition seems like it could be on the surface#but under that surface is the horror of how power corrupts#and rots you from the inside and steals everything from you even yourself#maybe thats not true for a trevelyan#but inquisition at least has the opportunity to be played as either#depending on how the world treats your character as someone they are comfortable with having power#or not#which is a commentary in itself#origins idk#it has never stuck with me the way the other 2 games did so someone else will have to do that analysis#but veilguard is sooooooo hero fantasy fulfillment in comparison#you win in the end#nothing bad ever really happens to you at all#you tell everyone what to do and they listen and love you for it#no one blames you for anything ever#you are always right#you save the day!#compare that to leandra telling hawke their baby brother/sisters gruesome death is their fault#like JHERGJKHERGKJHREG#anyway its not necessarily a bad thing#but its a very... traditional#video game narrative path#that i dont think most of us were expecting or interested in#from a franchise who has deconstructed such things in the past#veilguard critical#mine
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im convinced there isnt a more expressive character in the entire game of Wizard101 than Captain Pork
#tag yourself im the bottom right#i wanna see the facial rigging on this guy compared to literally any other character#wizard101#w101#wiz101#w101 fandom#wizard101 fandom#w101 screenshot#wizzy fandom#wizposting#captain pork#you dont want to know how much of my hard disk is taken up by screenshots of this guy#our bi king
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i think you have to beat into your brain that everyone writes differently and that your writing style is something to cherish even in the places it lacks …. it’s valuable enough that it’s all yours.
#uh oh ari’s getting emo abt writing again ……..#dont blame me blame my uterus#BUT IVE … been thinking about this latelyyy T. T it’s too easy to compare yourself to others#like … ahh this person writes dialogue so well. i’m jealous. this person has such a good flow#but i really do think all writing styles should be treasured !!! so it’s hypocritical of me to get mopey lol#i love my writing style despite it all …. even tho my prose does 99% of the lifting#ignore me dash i havent eaten#PDJNDJDB#ari noises ✩
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i know posting fic can be discouraging with how little feedback you get these days, especially in smaller fandoms, but it's so wild to me seeing writers have meltdowns where they threaten not to write/post fic ever again because they're not getting enough comments.
like if you never want to post for a fandom again due to a lack of comments then that is literally your loss first and foremost because you made attention your primary goal when posting your creations. you already forgot what the whole point is.
if you're butthurt it's 'only' your friends paying attention to your fic then you're completely lost. the point of fandom is connecting through creation. why the fuck are you prioritizing the idea of an audience of strangers when the people that love you and met you through fandom are loving what you make?
it's fine and it's more than okay to be disappointed that something you put so much effort on didn't get the reception you hoped. it's understandable to want praise from people that aren't already attached to you. but when you let this absence become central in your fandom existence you're forgetting something.
we're not sharing our creations to become fandom influencers or clout chasers, we're sharing them because we can't help it, because we simply want to summon our ideas into existence. and if other people enjoy that, then that's honestly awesome. if not then, well that's too bad but we still wanted it out there.
just the fact that you posted it is already worth celebrating! a lot of people never gather enough courage to share their creations publicly. god knows for the longest time i didn't. so you should be proud for taking that step. and you should be happy with yourself without needing others to validate that.
#rambling#about writing#i cant emphasize enough that its completely fair to be bummed about lack of interaction#but dont give strangers all the power when it comes to you and your creations#its for you it should always be for you first and foremost and everything else is a bonus#A BONUS#and yeah comparing yourself to the attention artists get is like. futile#its different mediums. itll never work the same way#yes its hard. yes maybe you want to give up#and if you want to do that its fine#but you need to acknowledge its all up to you rather than blaming others#i do know some ppl create whether its art or writing to become big fandom names or whatever#i dont really respect nor care for that#but they can exist for sure. just dont let those types of people define what your fandom experience should be like#and treasure your friends . treasure the friends that want to read what you do .#don't take that willingness to check what you do for granted#anyway this is certainly not about anyone i follow or im in contact with just stuff ive been ruminating with for a long time#after seeing hoards of discourse about the topic
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bsd fandom has always mischaracterised kunikida to hell and back but the fact that i am seeing SO MUCH hate for his character right after his 'death' is insane
#'kunikida is a boring character' 'dazai doesnt even like kunikida' 'kunikida has never suffered through trauma' DO U HEAR YOURSELF...#on one hand yeah studio bones butchering ln1 so bad will always be a main source of the misinterpretations#but EVEN THENNN you dont HAVE to read ln1 to get it. you just need to use your brain!!!!!#i dont care if you dislike kunikida or dislike knkdz or whatever. you can have your own opinion#but dont make up bullshit reasons for why you dont like them??????#and also ship wars are so stupid if i see ONE MORE POST comparing skk and knkdz's partnerships#which while have some good parallels#are ultimately not the same#then i will FIND YOU#skk and knkdz involve dazai in two very different stages of his life and you cant compare them#'oh this is healthier. oh this is more interesting. oh this partnership carries more weight. oh--' SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE SECONDS#LET PEOPLE LIVEEEEE#sorry for being petty but ive gone seven years without a knkdz manga interaction and so many skk shippers still wanna whine about how their#ship is better or whatever. like you already own so much content. so much of the fandom is skk tunnel visioned#why are you threatened by other shippers just having fun. calm the fuck DOWN#and also STOP PUTTING YOUR BASELESS HATE IN THE KNKDZ TAG I DONT WANNA SEE ITTTT#tag it as anti or whatever but dont shove your hate into the ship tag lol thats just basic etiquette#ok sorry im done now goodbye#this went from being annoyed at bad knkd takes to stupid knkdz hate but. those always seem to come together#smiles through the pain#bsd spoilers#sorry forgor to tag that
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GIRL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT !! that rendering looks so goddamn good!!

THANK YOU,,, but its just ik every artist goes thru this period a lot of times but rn i feel like my art isnt at a level that i want it to be and its so FRUSTRATINGG like grating my teeth pulling my hair biting my fist levels of frustrating
#sorry im gonna use this ask to type out my current frustrations#like theres so many things i can improve on and stuff#and recently i just havent been making illustrations and i kinda miss doing those but AUGHHHHHHH I DONT KNOW I DONT KNWOWWWWW#and im just like i want to do a million things but i have to finish a million other things and i want to try this and that out#and i want my style to be this but oh thats also cute#LIKE OK i know its bad to compare yourself to other people all the time but i was scrolling thru insta to look at art and stuff and#i jusy kinda went wow what am i doing with my life but like in an art sense#all these people are making incredible things and im just kinda here and IDKKKKKKKWKEWNEIEJWSNWJJ2JENE ITS SO. ANNOYING.#whatever its such a non issue anwy#thank you again though#franswers#wait this is a cute picture#cool bear picture
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am i rlly going to write a death note literary analysis when i could be doing other things
about the discourse going on in the tag abt "death note is acab and thats why the characters couldnt better the world with the note (/written in somewhat jokey matter)" vs "death note is trying to say we all have potential for evil, especially if you get a chance to insta-hurt ppl without repercussions, and it doesnt matter if youre a cop or not", i personally feel like it ignores the things that i like abt death note, which is "both of these things are true", and simultaneously "both of these things do not matter". the first part of this is dedicated to the first point, the latter to the last.
first point. i think its an important part of the message and themes (unintentional or not, and i lean on the former because... come on, can you really say the author intended you to not think of the cops as good people, at least compared to light and l) that light is a cops son, and that almost everyone who gets the death note is cop adjacent/thinks like a cop and is already corrupt/powerful when they get it (mello raised to think hed be just like l, yotsuba group is self explanatory; you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me teru "churchill" mikami, who was hand selected by light out of a bunch of rabid kira supporters, is a normal citizen). i appreciated the cop post bc its rlly important to not gloss over that aspect.
all of this would be an argument for "only someone like them would do something like this, and i am not like them, so im above them and immune to thinking about what id do with it", but... misa is the MOST important outlier in all of this bc her murders are solely selfish in nature and shes not doing any of this for "the greater good"!!! her nature of being an exception and still a very very bad person is really really important...
or it would be if death note gave a shit about her character at all!!! im not talking about her tragic side, im talking about exploring the ramifications of her killing people the way lights murders are (somewhat) explored. that would strengthen the message greatly! but shes dismissed and that weakens it overall. firstly, she's dismissed by the characters when l only sees her as a way to get to kira and basically shelves her the rest of the time. secondly, shes dismissed by the narrative when her character is gradually ground down to a stump and (not to sound perilously close to the bad takes ppl meme about) she never faces repercussions for her actions. every other character using the death note is treated relatively seriously, but misa just dies bc her love is dead. im not saying this isnt a... fitting punishment or that it isnt in character, but it doesnt fit snugly into the theme other people are talking about of "you reap what you sow" at all.
we do have something of an equivalent to misa's grayscale motives. surprise surprise, its light yagami. first is light's characterization in the musical (i will also note that misa never kills anyone in the musical). light's thinking is coplike, yes — he literally starts his first song by talking about "throw[ing] away the key" — but also, oddly enough, could be read as progressive and therefore sympathetic to tumblr ("let the corporations make the regulations / and hold no one accountable when everything gets wrong / let the rich and famous get away with murder / every time a high-priced mouthpiece starts to talk, his client gets to walk"). compare to the anime and manga, where his bigotry and pride and disgust come from a place of lukewarm dissatisfaction and boredom. the musical has much less time to play around with lights character, so it gives the audience something to immediately hook on. more on how that actually plays out later.
in the animanga, none of this is justified from the start. animanga light could say he was just killing people to make humanity way, way worse, and that wouldnt matter, because at the root of it, it was always his boredom that made him pick up the note. of course he actually believes in justice and believes hes doing the right thing (no, he believes he's doing the wrong thing, for the sake of the world... the right thing, because he is god...), but it was boredom at the start. all animanga light says about justice and righteousness and the law is a front in the end, bc he is exactly like l and misa — amoral. selfish. searching for entertainment. hedonistic. we know this. he kills naomi misora*. he kills lind l. turner. everything hes saying deserves to be dismissed from the beginning.
"but doesnt that mean you agree with the discourse post you wrote this post to argue against?" like i said, i agree with both of them! but i... still think its not right to reduce death note to the message of "the power to kill people is bad". because that is not exactly what the story is saying, even though that's literally its whole plot and therefore reaching that conclusion is self explanatory (lmao). let's look at the concept of mu. nothingness. "there's no heaven or hell". The Real Slay The Princess (Death Note Essay) Starts Here.
in light's final moments in the death note manga, while screaming about not wanting to die, he remembers that the first day they met, ryuk told light that "there's no heaven or hell. no matter what they do in life, all people go to the same place. all humans are equal in death". it is retroactively revealed that light knew this the whole time, operated under this knowledge for all the years we watched him — the knowledge that nothing he does is actually bad, that nothing any human does is actually bad, that shinigami are not "evil", that the universe does not care. that no one cares except humans. this oblivion absolutely terrifies him more than anything anyone could ever do to him. its what he thinks of before anything else as he flails there, screaming, dying. one could say everything he does after that day is him trying to escape that fact, or wrest control over it. but it doesnt work.
here are the lyrics of requiem, the musical's final song, sung over the bodies of l and musical light, a light who was at least somewhat good-intentioned at first: "sleep now, here among your choices / then fade away / hear how the world rejoices / shades of gray / gone who was right or wrong / who was weak or strong / nothing left to learn". this is the final message the death note musical and the manga chose to leave us with. there is no judgement. even after all that acknowledged hurt, after all the damage done, there is no judgement.
in the manga and anime alike, the world is just as fucked when light picks up the death note as when he dies. sure, we as readers can guess otherwise logically (and be optimistic, believing the world was never fucked regardless), but that's not what death note wants you to think. it ends with matsuda and another member of the task force noting how the world is worse again even though they killed kira (matsuda is clearly much worse for wear, but still determined), we see the shitty motorcycle band again, it ends with misa and a whole kira cult on a mountain even though kira died a long time ago...
its extremely important that light is never killed by any human or any aspect of the law. he is always killed by ryuk: a chaotic force completely detached from human sensibilities, one that does not care about good and evil. same with l; in the anime, manga, and musical, he is always killed by rems senseless, morally gray love (and you could argue in the kdrama that hes killed by love there too lol). justice is just a set dressing.
this is not just because death note is a tragedy, because good and evil can still matter in a tragedy. the theme of "nothingness" and "good and evil doesnt matter here" is also shown in a situation relatively unrelated to light winning or losing, or being good or bad. and its in fucking lawlight of all things. we all know ls not a good person. we know lights not a good person. this is tip of the iceberg death note knowledge. but the moment they start to interact, none of that starts to matter. textually, their relationship becomes more important than the people theyve killed and hurt. and the thing is? the thing is? THAT WORKS STORY-WISE. THAT'S ENTERTAINING. AND IT'S NEVER TEXTUALLY CALLED OUT IN A LASTING WAY. l and lights relationship, no matter how much i meme it, is genuinely important to the themes and "mu" because it makes it clear that despite all the pretensions, despite everything, this was never about good and evil. and it still works in the story. this is why death note is simultaneously a comedy — isn't the battle of good and evil supposed to matter more? well, fine, i'll keep watching this anyway. that suspension of disbelief comes crashing down the moment l dies, though, and a relationship built on nothingness (the "mu" sort, meaninglessness, not "character development" nothingness, theres plenty of character development) gives way to just nothingness (again, "mu", not light's post-l depression nothingness), forever.
(an aside: there is no one to root for in death note, and the only things to root for are either interesting character relationships, convoluted plots, or complete and total destruction: for everything to end so no more damage is done.)
not to say that death note does not encourage its readers to consider what damage they might do with the death note (obviously.), or that its characters never do. look at matsuda, a much easier heroic figure to latch on to than soichiro because of his unique place in the cast dynamic and because he's willing to consider both sides of the situation and kill light instantly for all he's done. its just that the story's own stance on the subject is... complicated by the existence of shinigami worldviews and by its own insistence that the world cannot change for the better.
also, this is not to say that this is executed well by the death note manga at all. it is a very strong tool, artistically, to establish and then violently remove any emotional connections between characters and make your story only about the exceedingly convoluted lengths characters go to to survive and catch each other so the reader can realize how ultimately pointless all of this is, but like... is that a good story choice if that's all you do? i would say not really. add in a good dollop of misogyny that destroys the second-to-last character who might actually be an interesting contrast to the rest of the cast's dull one-track focus on winning and justice, and youve got yourself a shitty story that... honestly still achieves what it went out to do, just not in a way id ever want to replicate.
anyway, back to the parts death note's actually trying to say. no matter what any human does in their life, no matter how they try to hurt or help the world, they all die in the end. hey, light, they all die in the end. once dead, they can never come back to life. and the seasons turn. and the world rejoices. and you say "goodbye"...
that's all.
no analysis of death notes overarching theme would be complete without nears final monologue, the definitive roast of light, the "you're just a murderer" speech: "what is right from wrong? what is good from evil? nobody can truly distinguish between them. even if there is a god." if we take this as talking about the actual god in the room (ryuk) as well as light, then near admits that humans will never be able to withstand these overwhelming forces and that, using justice and happiness and selfishness, they are just scrabbling to find meaning in things they ultimately have no control over.
but of course, near does not stop there. "[...] even then i'd stop and think for myself. i'd decide for myself whether his teachings are right and wrong." nears alright with not having control over everything, because near can still control nears own actions. these forces can and do exist, but they have no sway over nears own humanity — unlike light, who caved.
one of the creators of death note said they believe its message is "life is short, so everyone should do their best". the first time i learned this, i was like, thats... nice and optimistic, but an awful reading of the story! "life is short, so everyone should be desperate and striving like light yagami", who literally cut off other ppls lives for his own life? what character in death note are we supposed to strive towards when we "do our best"? they all do awful things with their lives! honestly, maybe they shouldnt have tried their best, if this is what their best is!
but with the view of "mu"... it makes a bit more sense. just a little. maybe.
there is no good and evil. there is only what humans think, and no matter what we do, we all die in the end. it is easy to be crushed and terrified by this in the same way light is, but what is more important than justice and righteousness and finding meaning is... doing your best. not being a person that hurts others too much. not letting yourself get swallowed up by an ideal. not going too far. and simultaneously, trusting yourself.
it leaves a few questions, though... was the currently dead l even a little bit right about his blatantly amoral approach, then? was there a point to this pain, and me slogging through this dumbass manga, and all the people that have lost their lives to a selfish teenage cop's son and the whims of everyone chasing after him? was there a point to any of this...?
the manga** never answers this. it stays clinically impartial until the very end. the musical is anything but clinically impartial (and i love it so much for that), and its ryuk that has the last word.
"there's no point at all."
of course theres no point. none of this was ever supposed to happen. that is what matters more than all the hurt and the crimes and the pain.
and that's... actually okay, because it's over now.
yes, death note has many really important themes present in its story, but its viewpoint is nihilism first and foremost. thats why its so fun and easy to play around with all the other messages, because no matter what fun or torment or awful things or righteous justice or absolute nothingness or sentimentality happens in between, there is always an end.
there is always the end.
#*naomi was killed off bc the author thought shed solve the case too quickly. ironic. i dont think it was meant to forward a theme other than#'light evil! oh no!!!' bc it had minimal buildup and absolutely no repercussions. it is just kind of smth that happens#everything in death note is just smth that happens bc. at some point i just have to admit its NOT RLLY WELL WRITTEN#but it says something. it says many things. and i like balancing the two in my head#death note#personal#**>reduces anime ending to a footnote /j#anime ending: light regrets COMING THIS FAR- not his crimes. he sees l as another regret and dies.#another example of the tragic self (and tragic relationship) ultimately being more important than morals#l would be proud of the torment he inflicted on light if he were not fucking dead#i would also bring up the argument that the way every death note character uses the note is so extreme that its hard to compare them#to real people but lets assume that the author was trying to replicate how actual human beings work as much as possible*#you made it deep enough into the tags would you like to hear about near and mello being nonbinary—#'there is an end so why not enjoy the middle? chain yourself to a hot boy eat strawberry shortcake be bisexual and lie'#*either that or they were just explicitly trying to have fun like they said they was doing#light yagami#sure ill tag my boy#'you cant say the curtains are just blue!' well can i say the curtains were shittily made#norrie if you look at this post ever again ill death note you myself
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How do you become so art good? Can I have the prophecy??? Plese, may I have some wisdom?
draw what and when it makes you happy. be kind to yourself and your art. but most importantly, have fun
#sorry if the phrasing doesnt make much sense im a little sleep deprived#im sure your stuff is awesome#im sure YOURE awesome! dont stress yourself out too much about “perfecting” and comparing yourself to others#enjoy creating! find the joy in making silly pictures#thank you for the ask :) take care#ask
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I'm so used to going into da games knowing my companions will have Personal Issues That Need Therapy Solving that having Davrin be weirdly self actualized is actually throwing me off
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#davrin#like hes done the work! he knows who he is and what he wants and hes comfortable with that! he just needs some griffon help!#maybe he needs a little bit of help learning you dont need a grand purpose to live and can just be as yourself#but compared to some of the stuff the others have going on davrins a vacation#loving davrin hours
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I really feel like I don't deserve to rest and I know it's fucking me up I know it doesn't make any sense to starve myself from sleep and then expect to be productive but I can't get around it it's like a block in my brain. I can't feel differently just because I know I should feel differently
#i havent slept more than 5 hours a night for the last 4 days#which is really bad for me since i need closer to 10 hours a night to feel rested#i cant stop comparing myself to other people. oh i dont have it so bad i dont know what my problem is just get over yourself etc.#but im so tired.#i dont want to fish for reassurance bc that feels dishonest and i think maybe my friends judge me for not doing enough#and i really dont have any acceptable explanation for why im staying up so late except i feel safest late at night playing games#im just sad :(#and lonely#sorry
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One thing I find irritating about modern society where I'm from
Is that the people who allegedly have "empathy", are evil.
Bold claim but hear me out on my reasoning
The empathy people will throw words at others like "ableist" "racist" "sexist" like a death sentence and then bristle if you ask them how or wtf that means.
"If you say Adhd is not a disability, you're abelist."
"Wait what? How?"
"Educate yourself"/"I don't owe you my emotional labor"
What????? Where's your empathy?
Allegedly its in the "you're ableist" statement but I dont really see it.
Performative empathy. These annoying people want any excuse to bludgeon people with their righteous hammer.
If they cared about the people they fought for, they would disseminate proper information they they wish people already knew.
Think about it. What does using harsh words against any questions do? It silences the conversation. Now nobody wants to ask or learn because they're afraid. They're not gaining knowledge to connect with others. They're learning to camouflage so you don't see them.
Thank you for starting the Squid Game. Great. I'm not sure about this because I don't feel feelings, but I'm pretty sure "empathy" isn't meant to be a guillotine. Empathy isn't a weapon. So how dare these people claim to have "empathy"?
Do you really think that just because it's a feeling, we can't verify if you truly are empathetic or not? It shows in your actions.
#this actually ties into the selfishness epidemic here#i dont owe you any-- you do. its the rent you pay for reaping the rewards of civilized society#you need to pull your weight to make sure the trust is still there in this trust based society before the structure crumbles#and you have nothing to take home other than loneliness#which is exactly whats happening here right now#you owe it to yourself to maintain upkeep of a system that benefits you. for your benefit#avo but i dont owe helping my neighbors i dont even go outside. you order doordash dawg. thats a benefit of a trust based society#im not saying go outside and martyr yourself and talk to 1000 people.#just indulge the thought: i could do this and it will make my/their/our experience better#and dont perform empathy. do empathy. my personal annoyance#stop being so fucking afraid of talking to people. dont initiate the convo if you dont want to talk#'statement 1'. 'clarifying statement 1'. 'fuck you i dont owe you anything'. BITCH#you beat me with your 'empathy' ill beat you with a rock. lets see which weighs heavier#true empathy is fostering connection.#but avo what about people who cant contribute. their worth shouldnt depend on it#tfym. what is the cost of giving a thumbs up to someone. tipping a dollar. picking up dropped groceries. or leaving your trashbins aligned#watch me. im a very people person (compared to the rest of my kind)#i personally. sit down and talk to people will all sorts of ideas and views not to convert but to see from their eyes#my capacity to execute this is VERY low. so yk the small things i do to maintain upkeep of society?#smile at a kid. bring back an item for a friend from a store. put my neighbors trash out when i put mine#you can also take this a lower level. align your trash so its easy for the garbage truck driver to empty it out without getting out.#or even a lower level. use state funded public services that depend on amount of users. like library. check out an ebook from home. easy#idk man just get creative
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i gotta post my art on tiktok more often its the only place anyone sees it
#i love my like 740 followers and average 5 notes on each post. its so great. slash sarcasm#ik follower counts and also notes don't mean shit but also like DAMN#and then twitter i havent gotten a like on anything recent in like 2-3 days#not to like complain its just gettinf 2 me again... bluh#even tiktok isnt that good conpared to normal its almost never hit a hundred likes but its better !!#jello shut up challenge#i try not 2 let it get to me but also like. i dunno is my art worse than other peopes shit#shakes myself really hard jello dont get weird and jelous and stop comparing yourself to other people STOP !!!#the one thing i know is that it does do better when its something that like more people know.#but even then it does WAY worse than like everyone elses idk why. maybe its just bad and im delusional#fhis isnt too serious im fine ill be good its whatever
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Going to the gym regularly again is great cos I feel much better about myself in general and it gives me a great opportunity to practice what I preach and not compare myself with others because the gym I go to seems exclusively populated by enormous muscle bound studs and I will NOT let it get to me in a bad way instead I will just be neutral or maybe even horny about it but I refuse to feel bad about myself when I'm literally AT the gym it's fine it's fine you're good
#pat talks#ignore this im rambling#dont compare yourself to other's its not healthy is the point#and i am reminded why that is
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there is something actually demonic that awakens in me when someone continuously repeatedly fails to comment on what has been said to make it about themself. few things peeve me like someone whos just not good at acknowledging & engaging with others. i do too get the "whoaa just like xyz" reactions yknow but you cant be doing that. all the time. otherwise youre just speaking over other people. & it feels like you dont give a fuck what they said. & i dont fucking like it!
#theres just places i dont talk anymore bc i got drowned out too many times by people doing this to me. shrugs#i do love to like. draw parallels & compare what other ppl & i are doing. but bare minimum acknowledgement is bare minimum#even if you are making it about yourself bc what has been said got you excited youre still speaking over people.#when im talking about something surprisingly i dont want the convo to be made about smth else entirely the moment i start it!#& like everyone does this from time to time im sure but if its something that happens all the time i just gotta go man.#sorry just pondering. im often getting spoken over it has always been the case its why im so hesitant to talk a lot of the time#im very scared of doing this to other people bc ppl used to do it to me constantly. skgh.#whatever runs around in circles thsts all i haev to say#i havent slept enough my body is just evil & tormenting me
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transgender moment on the mrt
#mom texted '#'dont compare yourself to others and be yourself' like wow. are you sure you want to say that to (points myself) this one specifically#krispeaks
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