#ESPECIALLY THIS MONTH!
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death is just so present in our lives! in every happening in the world, in our own countries and cities, our families, in videogames, in books, in movies, in shows, in music, every little corner, it's there! it's a bit hard to nagivate this after such a big loss, it's impossible to escape from it even if i'm not even trying to... man
#ESPECIALLY THIS MONTH!#its so hard bc its october. all halloween#day of the death is approaching</3#so much death talk#im always consuming videogames and death is just THE THING from them#and its hitting so harddddd#ive been so sensitive#everything is a little bit triggering lol😮💨#im working on it i promise#balconies... i really shudder seeing them#i gotta work hard on this boo
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
EDIT: seems this is more common among ND people than i thought, and probably not limited to AuDHD specifically :] i was just describing my own experiences and didn't expect this post to blow up, so don't take me for an authority, but i'm glad it resonated with so many of y'all
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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growth // decay
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#sukuna#ryoumen sukuna#itafushikugi#take them take them take them im DONE#i started this 3 WEEKS AGO kms curse u job.....curse u commute......#whatever its fine bc look mom i can still draw omg i can still draw and i dont hate it!!!!!#this was th first actual insp that had hit since like. march. and i was like omg yippee finally i can not want to die while doing my hobby#regardless of th 3 week timeline (atrocious) im soosososo pleased w these#nobara in particular i am especially proud of i tried smth new with her hair and the render and i ws like!!!! :D!!!!!!#altho i kinda ended up shooting myself in th foot bc of it when it came time to move onto itfs#bc by then a whole week had passed and id forgotten how i did it so i was worried abt style consistency#esp when megumi's colour palette said it wanted to be blue all of a sudden#but i decided hey whatever ill lean in2 primaries itll b fine and fun (it was in fact not so fine and fun i suffered the whole time)#nobara looks GREAT megumi looks great in lowercase bc tht hood made me want to die#yuuji...#kinda worried abt yuuji bc of sukuna it looks pretty busy over there on the left but whatever man ive been working on this fr too long#i dont dislike it at all but i definitely think hes the weakest of th series dsgkjsfdj rip i redid his pose like 4 times#whatever we persist!!! enjoy hina draws the first years with plants and weird eye horror episode 352347#hopefully this is a sufficient offering after my month+ hiatus gomen smile
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You know how Jaybin was very "pat-patable" so there were always one or two panels where other characters patted his head? So, I actually need this to be ultimate Jason's ability to charm anyone to want to pat him on the head, to the point it continues even after he becomes a double-fridge. Once his helmet is not on him, everyone is just... struck with an urge to ruffle his hair. And it doesn't matter if they are older, younger, or shorter — everyone just want to do that.
Jason brings kids from streets to Leslie to check on them and help to settle down with new families? Leslie asks him to lean over here and pats him on the head, ignoring his flustered face. Jason cooperates with Two-Face? Get a random pat-pat.
The worst part? Kids do that, too!
One moment, he is squatting in front of a kid, cooing at them, and in the next moment, they softly ruffle his hair to thank him for help. And this is embarrassing.
Jason, muttering: I think I am cursed
Dick, worried: What? Why? What are the symptoms?
Jason: Look
Jason, making his way to Tim, who flips through files: So, birdie, I got rid of the trafficking ring you asked me to take care of.
Tim, without getting distracted: Thanks, Jay *reaches out to pat him on the head*
Jason: SEE? THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. WITH EVERYONE.
Dick, stifling a giggle: Well—
Jason, calling Talia at midnight: Are you sure there are no side effects of Pit sounding like this? Sure-sure?
Talia, tired as fuck: I think I would notice that, Jason.
Jason: THEN WHAT IS THE REASON.
Talia: *hangs up*
Jason, pacing in the Cave next to Bruce, because he is a) also insomniac; b) is the greatest detective, so he should be a help: There is only one theory that stays unverified, but it is too unbelievable
Bruce: Hm? Which one?
Jason: The one that means that I am just cute like that. Ridiculous, right?
Bruce: *tries to fight a smile*
Jason: No. No. SHUT UP.
Bruce: I didn't say anything, lad.
Jason: I HEAR YOU THINKING FROM THERE
Bruce, amused: Okay, I'll think quieter.
#Bruce: I think I have a theory but we need to test it for the next month#Bruce: thus I will be patting you on head three times a day. for the sake of accurate collection of data.#Jason knowing well that this is bullshit but he is touch-starved (especially when it comes to B): ok whatever#jason todd#red hood#batman#dcu#dcu comics#dc universe#batfamily#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#tim drake#harvey dent
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Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!
I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished
#makeaterriblecomicday2024#comic#comics#sketch#does this count as horror like comment subscribe down below#Ever since I stopped being on social media as often/stopped taking it deadly serious I've been able to fall back in love with the process..#...of art which is fantastic!! I do enjoy taking my time with things but it's still very easy to get caught up in making something Perfect#ESPECIALLY WITH COMICS#As a comic maker and comic enjoyer you have to remind yourself people speed through reading them. It's ok to take shortcuts#Every frame does not need to be a painting#Anyways this was a great way to make something after falling into an MMO hole for a few days...#unrelated did u guys know Wizard 101 is still alive with an active player base#Ok hopefully I can get back on track to finishing my next short horror comic in the next month or so wish me luck fellers
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!!
#Undertale being the first game i saw to casually show lgbt representation#really changed my life haha#happy pride month#to Toby fox especially /j#art#undertale#pride month#undyne#alphys#sans undertale#papyrus#mad mew mew#napstablook#mettaton#wow lots of characters
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i’m delving back into my roots. krbk and bakusquad how i’ve missed thee
#HOPE IPU GUYS ENJOY I HAVENT POSTED IN MONTHS WHOOPS!#bnha#mha#art#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#kiribaku#kirishima eijirou#bakugou katsuki#bakushima#krbk#bakusquad#kaminari denki#sero hanta#ashido mina#jirou kyouka#i had fun drawing all their smiles especially. made me smile too
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my extras that i didn’t wanna include with the other ones bc they’re not as cool 💔 still cutesy tho
#cw blood#gravity falls#art#artists on tumblr#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#stan twins on the brain lately#they’ve been there for months but they’re especially active now
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shoutout to readers who like, kudos, bookmark and comment on older fics, it really means so much, especially for those of us stuck in a writing rut who haven't written for some time, you guys are awesome <3
#fandom#fanfiction#commenting#to everyone who has been reading and kudosing and commenting on my fics over the past few months as I've been stuck in a writing rut:#thank you thank you thank you it really does mean the world to me to know that there are people out there who still like my writing#even though i feel stuck right now#you guys are truly the best#comments on my older / more under the radar fics are especially appreciated#just wanted to give a little shoutout today for no particular reason :D
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How did Bonnie get so fucking tall in FNAF 2…
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#vanessa fnaf#mike schmidt#abby schmidt#withered bonnie#fnaf 2#fnaf 2 movie#so the behind the scene photos shown last month#Bonnie’s gonna be so big#LIKE I know he’s been big the fnaf 2 model scaling is wacky#but withered Bonnie is gonna be a HUGE guy#I can’t imagine how Mike and Vanessa will react#especially Vanessa like she knows these animatronics#she’d have no reasons to why he’s so big now#dude just grew Bonnie built so different#Abby of course is just happy to see her friend again#she only supports him 🩵
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You know how baby hair just does whatever it wants, sticking up in the wildest directions like it has no regard for the laws of physics? I just know Geto’s baby is coming out with a full head of thick, silky dark hair. No matter what hair type you have, his genes are winning, no question.
And oh my god, he’s so the type to do his babygirl’s hair every morning. He’d settle her on his lap, big hands incredibly gentle as he smooths down the unruly strands sticking up at odd angles. His touch would be so light, so careful, especially near her soft spot. It's truly a precious sight to see.
“Oh, is that cold? Daddy’s sorry,” he murmurs after spritzing just a little water, rubbing the tiniest circle on her head as if to soothe her. Tilting his head, thoughtful, his fingers ghosting over her silky strands. “Hmm, what should we do today, princess? Just a little clip? Maybe tiny pigtails?”
She doesn’t care, of course, just babbles happily, staring up at him with big, trusting eyes, reaching clumsily for his thick fingers. And he just chuckles, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead, already so completely wrapped around her little finger.
God, he’s such a girl dad. It’s ridiculous.
Here is the TikTok link if you need it!
#The baby fever I have is a curse#I just know geto talks to his baby like all the time#Every babble he has some form of a response#Gojo too but I feel like he would be scared of his child the first 6 months especially after you explain what a soft spot it#snail yaps#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#Geto x reader#Geto suguru x reader#Suguru x reader#Suguru fluff
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I got inspired by this poste by @krakintakin
(sry I had to draw it) Happy pride month everyone! Go listen to some gay music 🏳️🌈
#Ugh they look so ugly in this#especially the last panel of copia#I was drawing very fast#My first thought was: do they even need to make special GAY music ?#Sorry to all my non ghost fan followers#You'll probably see me posting more of them#I got the brain worms#I can't help it#happy pride 🌈#my stuff#shit ghosting#the band ghost#the band ghost fanart#papa v perpetua#papa emeritus iv#frater imperator#copia#perpetua ghost#it is pride month walter#it is pride month you know what that means#meme#meme redraw
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geniuenly what was their problem
#pushing their agenda down my throat#fernando especially girl u want to kiss him so bad it makes you look stupid and short#happy early pride month to them i guess#fernando alonso#mark webber#webbonso#f1#formula 1#formula one
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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In the tranquil forest 🌳
#sousou no frieren#frieren#frieren: beyond journey's end#frieren fanart#frieren at the funeral#I'm really proud of this one#especially with the background it turned out so well 😭#I actually started drawing a while ago but I couldn't get the bg right#and then came back months later and finally figured it out#sometimes all you really need is some time
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O displaced soul, where does your path now lead?
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr fanart#dan heng#hsr dan heng#dan heng hsr#stuff and things#userpharawee#the caption is a line from the (ingame) poem The Last Veranda by Lipos (an amphorean poet)#and hhhh don't mind me I'm just once again neck deep in blorbo feels#thinking about how dan heng and tb have been stranded in amphoreus for months now#and how dan heng has never really spent that long in any one place#(apart from the luofu but obviously most of that time was spent in the shackling prison so. not very home-y#and the Express ofc which is cool and definitely a place to call home especially with the fam there#but... it's also a space train that's always on the move. and he literally sleeps on the floor in the archives lol)#so amphoreus must start to feel at least a liiiittle bit like Home to him#to a point where he even started to connect to the waters there#I'm sure that's also part of the reason why he's so invested in protecting the people of okhema and helping the flame chase journey#AUGH I love him sm
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