#Else Statements

[heavenlyyshecomes]

all the updates from al shifa right now are just "we're waiting to die" I feel so sick

[carelesswhisper41]

I'm having a rotten day, but looking up at this lovely calendar by @8pxl helps 🌸

[aw-tysm]

This idea that all autistic people are good at self reflection in a way that we can pick up on the fact that we are autistic... needs to stop. Or even just being good at self reflection and self awareness in general.

I am so sick and tired of hearing about how we're all so good at that. How all adults self diagnosed before diagnosis. That we somehow have this inner knowledge of ourselves or understanding towards the fact that we do have autism and how it affects us.

That is NOT the case for all of us.

There are many autistic people who don't even realise that they are autistic. Who won't question it themselves. Who hear about it and don't think "hey I align with some of these things".

There are many autistic people who think that they're just like everyone else around them, even if other people see it differently.

There are early diagnosed autistics who were never told about their diagnosis, that haven't questioned whether they are or aren't. And then are surprised when they are told about it or find out.

HECK. There are diagnosed autistics who don't even realise how severely autism affects them at all, even if others do.

There are many of us who had to be told and often by professionals. There are many of us who haven't done indepth research on autism before being diagnosed. There are many of us who sometimes have a diagnosis forced on us without us having ever questioned autism in the first place. Many of us don't even understand how to do that kind of research or reflection.

If you actually know how autism affects many autistics, then you would understand that self awareness and self relfection are things that many autistics can be bad at. These are things we can struggle with.

[eyesteeth]

this is perhaps a bit strange to say but i love how faulkner's first reaction to being put on suicide watch was to think 'what if i killed myself specifically to spite these guys'. usually i only see 'healthy' responses to such 'help' in fiction, so it's genuinely a nice change of pace to see such an 'ugly' one, especially since that Is my primary response to such behavior as well

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[annamationsart]

everyone loves talking about little jon in correlation to mr. spider but no one ever talks about how insufferable this kid was. i wouldn’t wish sitting next to him in class upon my worst enemy

[fujouppy]

i cannot grasp why we arent all collectively going insane over this scene. she ran back to her! she couldnt bring herself to simply leave sua alone to continuously imagine her own death over and over for however long, she needed to comfort her in some way. and of course mizi would not acknowledge what is to come (neither would sua of course), but this still means so much.

at this point in the story mizi is so disgusted with humans and what she perceives to be this horribly exploitative way they love one another, but her running back contrasts what she says at the end of the mv so directly. why does she run back to sua instead of just walking away as she first thought to? to get something from her? or because she cannot bring herself to leave her to suffer alone?

all the relationships depicted in alien stage are unhealthy in one way or another, mizisua included, but besides the hurt there is so much sweetness and genuine love in all of them (once again, mizisua included). mizi is simply wrong here, the hopeful mindset depicted in wiege is out of touch with the reality of the world, but so is what she says in karma. humans arent cruel exploitative creatures, theyre complex, oftentimes deeply troubled, but most of all so incredibly loving. and that fact is neither good or bad, but it is a fact.

[hale-my-nathan]

Trump Weird News - Pickie! Pickie!

[sergle]

man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin

[cricketsintheaudience]

Peruchetti, Mauro. "Modern Heroes," 2009. Hand-carved white marble, 74.75 x 76.75 x 29.5 in.

[visenyaism]

“all must choose” but rhaenyra looking hot and correct with good posture and her dad’s crown perfectly resting on her head like it belongs there just cannot beat that killer limp-wristed might frisbee the conqueror’s crown at any moment adult boy-king suicidal ennui + fundamentalist sword violence psychopath combination it’s not fair.

[fox-guardian]

I can't get over that last scene from this episode. that long pause where sam was quietly grabbing a drink and you could barely hear celia talking to jack as she put him to bed in the other room. nothing was happening in that moment that needed to be recorded. no terrible events no big revelations. just sam and celia quietly going about their lives, sharing a domestic moment.

as something watched and listened. and we don't know why it's listening.

[lotus-pear]

rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening

[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[arthurs-better-half]

Yellow - The Heart / "Because I care about him."

1. Malevolent part 40 “The Order” II // 2. Marina Ianova Tsvetaeva, Poem Of The End // 3. Malevolent part 21 // 4. Chen Chen, Nature Poem // 5. Malevolent part 21 // 6. Ace Song - Izzie Burton // 7. Clarice Lispector, The Stream of Life // 8. Malevolent part 21 // 9. O My Heart - Mother Mother // 10. Malevolent part 22 // 11. Leah Horlick, For Your Own Good // 12. Malevolent part 21 // 13. Roadkill - Searows // 14. Malevolent part 21 / Malevolent part 22 / Wanderer by Joseph Feely // 15. Malevolent part 22 // 16. @starparkdesigns (Instagram) // 17. Malevolent part 22 // 18. “How to Be a Dog” by Andrew Kane // 19. Malevolent part 22 // 20. halfabed - clem turner // 21. Malevolent part 22 // 22. Franz Kafka, The Castle // 23. Malevolent part 22 // 24. Against the Kitchen Floor - Will Wood // 25. Janet Fitch, White Oleander // 26. Malevolent part 22 // 27. @metamorphesque (x) // 28. Malevolent part 40 “The Order” II // 29. Judas’ Gift by Adam Phillips // 30. @/lostaffections (Twitter)

I actually just want to get this one done so I can move on to other ones but I hope it's good enough I've been working on it for ages. Anyway I’m going to chew through drywall if I see someone say Yellow is genuinely uncaring again. The FAÇADE.

Ask to tag

YELLOW: I... I... (Quieter.) Why you, John? What did you have to offer? Why does he care about... you? JOHN (softly): Because... I care about him.

Either love is... - A shrine? - or else a scar.

YELLOW: What is that? ARTHUR: A poem. YELLOW: You wrote it?

"Why can't you see me? Why can't I stop / needing you to see me?"

YELLOW: Why did you share that? ARTHUR: Because... it's beautiful. It makes me feel strong. It makes me... feel. (He sighs.) Doesn't it make you? YELLOW (uncertain): I suppose.

And it's not something I'm missing Not something that I need But when you said something's wrong We both know that you meant me

I'm restless and harsh and despairing. Although I do have love inside me. I just don't know how to use love. Sometimes it tears at my flesh, like barbs.

YELLOW: Does it hurt?

And I throw my heart into the fire 'Cause, I want to set my heart on fire And I watch it try befriending embers But the ice don't melt in mid-December

YELLOW: Because I'm trying to understand. You want that, right? You wanted me back here, you wanted my friendship. So tell me what I have to do. ARTHUR: To what end? YELLOW (frustrated): To any fucking end. Did you even want your body back?

for you, ready. You'll never recover from that kind of devotion. Little lights

YELLOW: Wait. ARTHUR: What? YELLOW: There are... snowshoes, next to the door.

And maybe I'm crazy But some part of me had to care for you What would it take for me to be cared for, too?

ARTHUR: We can always turn back if there's nothing for us out here. YELLOW: You keep saying 'us' as if we're one. ARTHUR: It's an old habit. (He walks through the snow.) YELLOW: Fine. Then let's leave. We've paid, slept. You've shaved, taken a much-needed bath. Is there anything else for us here?

ARTHUR: I don't want to hurt you. (Gentle, optimistic piano melody.) I never have. I can be a real pain... when you cross me the wrong way, don't get me wrong, and - and don't say anything about that, but... I don't lavish causing strife. I don't - I don't enjoy making others suffer. I don't like hurting people. YELLOW: People. ARTHUR (scoffing, splashing water): You don't have to be a human to be a person, Yellow.

- How many times can the same thing break your heart? - As long as you love it

YELLOW: What's that? ARTHUR: God, look, I promise you, we can talk about all of this soon, when I'm not so hungover. For now, I just want to shave and head back to the room. YELLOW: Right.

A fugitive is also a kind of dog. Of course you must learn to love, to love always and love entirely and to be wounded by nothing so much as the violence of your own love. You must learn to be confused but never disappointed by a deficiency of love.

YELLOW: We're at the edge of the woods. This is where we came through last night. Your snowshoes are around here somewhere. ARTHUR: My what? (Shocked.) Oh, Jesus! I completely forgot. YELLOW (slightly smug): I noticed.

i sing a song to you with lyrics i can't even pronounce with lyrics that predate words the melody won't come out.

YELLOW: I don't know, Arthur! I see the mountain on the horizon, I'm leading us there. What do you want from me? ARTHUR: Some communication, Yellow! (Frustrated) God damn it.

"You misinterpret everything, even the silence."

YELLOW (furious): I'm trying, Arthur, I'm fucking trying!

I swear, I'm really trying Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet

Isn't it funny. I'm enjoying my hatred so much more than I ever enjoyed love. Love is temperamental. Tiring. It makes demands. Love uses you, changes its mind. But hatred, now, that's something you can use. Sculpt. Wield. It's hard, or soft, however you need it. Love humiliates you, but Hatred cradles you.

YELLOW: You're... sorry?

Rage, that is love - rotten! Rage, that is desire - rotten! Rage! - like a prayer, unanswered, ricocheting from your ceiling and landing right onto your eyes, never quite reaching where it was meant to.

ARTHUR: I know. I'm not apologizing for you.

entrusted to secrecy in Judas' story is that betrayal is one of the forms revelation takes. Betrayal is an uncanny form of intimacy. Somewhere in ourselves we associate being loved with being betrayed, and being betrayed with growing. And we do a lot of work trying not to know this when it is, in fact...

he doesn't hate him, he came to realize, and that's what he hated.

@sunw00d because you asked

[sneegupdates]

With Vidcon coming up next week and ICE doing raids within the state of California, please remember to have SOME type of ID on you. You should anyway because a good majority of you are gonna be flying in so a passport should do just fine.

Also, if you are traveling to Vidcon alone, please find a group to travel with because it is currently not (and hasn't really been) safe to go anywhere alone outside of the con. If you all can sleep within the same hotel/air bnb, that would be preferable.

If you do happen to get stopped by an ICE agent, DO NOT, under ANY circumstance, give them ANY information. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. You have a right to remain silent so if they ask you ANY personal questions, DO NOT ANSWER, just say "I'm exercising my right to remain silent" THAT'S IT.

I would link some things down below but I'm not sure what websites are the right ones for correct information so if you know if any I can link, please let me know!