#FUCK. FUCK
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once again i have stepdaddied too close to the sun
#stepdaddy!roman#god....fuck. we're getting stupid and soft#fuckin pool day with this asshole#did you know he taught you to swim#napping on the water on a floatie. holdin onto each other#he rubs sunscreen on you#he says he'll kill you if you get sunburnt#you draw a penis in the sunscreen you rub on his back#fuck. FUCK#why am i like this
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Every single fucking thing about Joey’s character makes sense when you consider he has internalized that physical abuse is a good thing
#And yet he still could never bring himself to hit his own kid#And he thinks this was A FAILURE ON HIS OWN PART#He couldn’t have known. He could not have known#He had no way of being a good father HE COULDNT HAVE KNOWN#He had NO GOOD EXAMPLES all he had was years of being H I T#Oh my god. Oh my god I’m going crazy he got HIT?#We know he didn’t hit Trick because he KNOWS he was a bad father to Trick#And Trick doesn’t even think he was a bad father he keeps defending him. even when Trick is insulting him Trick is defending him#And then Joey???? Joey???????#Joey who dedicated his entire life to working in places where he would be yelled at???? Where he wld be berated#Where he would constantly be stressed and angry?????#Joey who doesn’t even think he has anger issues he just thinks it’s everyone else’s fault because he’s internalized that#anger is just something you deserve 😭😭😭😭😭#Oh my god HE GOT HIT??.$:?)? ITS SO OVER FOR ME?.!:?#FUUUUCK#AND HES A TEXTBOOK ABUSE VICTIM TOO HES ANGRY HES PROMISCUOUS HE CANT HOLD A JOB HE CANT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP#FUCK. FUCK#bistro huddy#joey#velbi.txt
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dick is the best man bruce has ever known. btw.
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vfaust coming straight to your house covered in blood after murdering that man (let’s pretend it wasn’t a hate crime for a second). you’re terrified by the look in his eyes but the way he cradles your face in his red stained hands and devours you in a kiss wipes your brain clean of thought. he fucks you doggy on the stairs, bumping against your cervix, balls heavy before pumping you full of hot cum. he helps you get up to clean off but before you can stumble your way down the hall and think of how to ask him wtf happened, he grabs you by the jaw and licks off the blood he got on you 🥴 he and eurory could carve their names in me as a tramp stamp for all i care
ohh for fuck’s sake. yeah. yeahhh fuck
yeah, Faust pounding on that door. not too hard, not too crazy, but enough that you rush to open it, and there he is, and he’s… wet. what the fuck. you make a dumb joke. out swimming? what the fuck’ve you been up to? and the way the smile slides right off your face as he barges in and slams the door behind you, walking into you, forcing you back onto your feet so you’re stumbling. it hurts when you fall on the stairs - you hit your ass, barely manage to keep your head from cracking on one.
“what the fuck, Faust, Euronymous isn’t even here. they’re coming by later, they -”
he ignores everything you’re saying in favor of folding that long, long body into a hunching sort of feral crawl as he pursues you up the stairs. you laugh a little but back away all the same, because what the fuck…? he’s acting so fucking weird, and - and…. the stains on his shirt - he’s all wet, but it’s red, and -
“Faust. Faust, wait - hey - whoa, wait, what happened, are you okay? are you hurt?” the panic in your voice. he moans, and deep inside your gut it’s an alarm bell. what the fuck is his problem? “hey, fucking - hey, stop, you’re freaking me out, what happened to you? should i call somebody, like…”
and god, he’s over you, lips on you, and he smells unmistakably like blood. iron and dirt and some rotten undertone, his sloppy kisses all over your throat, big hands on your hips, your body, pulling at your clothes. he’s not saying anything. it’s making you scared, he’s covered in blood and acting fucking comatose, acting like a fucking psycho, and in the back of your mind you’re thinking of Euronymous, where the fuck is he? where is he to handle this right now?? everyone was over earlier, they’re gunna come grab you again before you all have another fuckin house party, and WHERE IS HE.
not here.
but Faust is. and he’s breathing fucking hard, ragged, all those breaths coming straight down from his diaphragm. it’s only kind of scary once he grabs you and starts trying to force you to turn around. you struggle a little, but this is your friend, he’s your - he’s your something, he’s - but -
“Euro’ll be back soon, he’ll be back, he - you know he wouldn’t want you to… Faust, c’mon, hey. ease up, hey - ! you’re fucking scaring me.”
it’s too bad. he forces you to turn and bend for him anyway, him in his ripped, bloody shirt, his leather jacket, his fucking old disgusting jeans that he unzips and pulls down his thighs. he’s moaning and humming and gasping as he fits his big cock between your thighs, nudging against your cunt. he doesn’t even check if you’re wet. he reaches around to stick his fingers into your mouth while you struggle, ignoring the way your teeth scrape. he jams them into your pussy and finds a loose, half-hearted rhythm, fucking them too hard too fast, but look at that - you’re getting wet, anyway, and so quickly. mmm, Euronymous would not like that. fuck, no, he wouldn’t. Faust takes the care and tenderness to spit into his own hand, too, stroking his cock a couple times before fitting it right up against your hole and fucking it in.
it won’t go in, not at first. you’re too fuckin’ dry, too afraid. he has to hammer his hips sharply back and forth. shallow doesn’t always mean nicer, does it? not when he’s working into you like that, smelling like fuckin’ pennies, like sweat and adrenaline, like cheap booze. rutting into you. ignoring all the ways you try to work words together to convince him to stop - he has a way to solve that, and it’s his big fucking hand over your mouth while he mounts you mindlessly. he does work it in. oh, yeah, he fucks his big, thick cock inside of you and then it’s fucking over for you. he’s stroking all those places, especially with you bent over the stairs like that, like a fucking animal. being made to take it. his teeth are on your shoulder, he’s grunting with each vicious snap of his lean hips.
and wouldn’t you fucking know it, you’re moaning. moaning like a bitch in heat while he fucks you, covered in blood, knowing that at any minute Euronymous and the rest of them are going to be back to pick you up. stuffed full of Faust’s unforgiving dick, you’re ashamed at how it makes your cuntflesh ripple around him. needy. he strokes spots even Euronymous doesn’t get, something you would rather die than admit. his hand smells like blood, it tastes like it when he mashes it harder against your lips with the intensity of his fucking. like you’re just a tool, a means to an end, and it only makes you wanna cum harder. it’s everywhere, the blood - you can feel it smearing into your skin where your shirt rides up, where he presses the impossibly long length of his body over yours. everywhere.
toward the end, he’s moaning louder, cock pounding against your cervix. over and over and over and over, and when his dick starts swelling up, that’s it - you’re done, wailing into your own empty home, cumming on his mean, long cock, tasting blood while he empties his balls into you. he's not kind about it, shoving into you with each spurt of his hot cum so that you cry out - he likes that pathetic, hurt sound you make.
and after, when he yanks his hips back and puts his softening dick away while you scramble to get dressed, he watches you with those same lifeless eyes. a hint of a smirk on his full lips while you catch your breath, knowing his cum's gunna leak out of your well-fucked, twitching pussy. your wide eyes, your fear and shame and confusion
you try to ask him again what happened to him, but he grabs you by the jaw and stoops down to drag his tongue over your chin, your lips, your cheek where he's smeared a dead stranger's blood on your face, fingers digging in harder when you struggle
#fuck. fuck#i was sitting on this for a second#i'm fucking raging wet for this#lords of chaos#lords of chaos smut#vfaust#valter!faust#ask
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I'm fine. Just learned that Pepcid can help PMDD patients because it's a histamine inhibitor and thinking about how I only got diagnosed with MCAS nearly a decade after a full hysterectomy to deal with my endo, and I'm not pissed I got that full hysterectomy at 31 or that I got a proper MCAS diagnosis many years later.
But I am fucking pissed that I gave up on demanding better from doctors before I was 20 because none of them took my period pain seriously and also mad that they took my exhaustion alone seriously enough to best guess I had celiac when what has honestly been happening this whole time is that I have MCAS and react to high-histamine meals like pasta and other things made of wheat, which is high histamine.
And, again, I would not be where I am if we hadn't yanked wheat from my diet when I was 20, and I don't regret the choice because the change in my ability to function was so fucking astounding it was literally like when I had my hysterectomy.
But that I stopped trusting doctors before I was 20 because they never listened about my period pain, but they WOULD listen about exhaustion that WASN'T during one week a month they thought was just me being silly about all these lady pains. And just how that their willinginess to downplay and ignore a major source of pain has led me to shit ass pain management even now because they only care if it's the "right" kind of pain and I don't know what that means for any doctor. Yes, my doctor takes me seriously, but also what if she doesn't this time. Because that's what it's like. You spend enough time getting told you're just being crazy unless it's this ONE TIME, it's real hard to believe you'll be listened to a second time.
Anyway, Fuck. Glad it's getting better. But FUCK.
#fuck. FUCK#health shit#pmdd#endometriosis#mcas#well of course we care about your pain when it's not your period!#a period is such a common thing why would we worry about THAT pain#no we haven't researched it#why would we#that's just part of periods#have you tried having a fucking baby
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I ACCIDENTALLY CLOSED LITERALLY ALL OF MY TABS ON MY PHONE
#whiskey yelling into the void#ALL OF THOSE TABS.#112 OF THEM#MOST OF THEM FANFICTIONS#FUCK. FUCK#ONE OF THEM WAS A TWILIGHT PRINCESS WALKTHROUGH I’VE HAD OPEN FOR YEARS#ANOTHER WAS A HOMESTUCK FANVENTURE I DON’T REMEMBER THE NAME OF#END ME. FUCKING END ME#THEY’RE GONE FROM MY BROWSER HISTORY#HEAD IN HANDS#devastated. distraught.#i can look thru my ao3 history and find some of em maybe#i was planning on commenting on some of those :(
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im normal. i dont start crying over the fact that goro didnt get a chat photo. not even one. i dont cry over the fact that he belongs nowhere. that even in maruki's reality he had to make sure he was allowed to join the group photo. no. No
#fuck. fuck#agh.#when the towns lore#goro akechi#sorry i saw someone being mean about him and it made me clench my fists trying not to go Uhm actually
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THE EMAILS I HAVENT ANSWERED
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i finished talos principle 2. now i'm going to cry my eyes out over the ending, this game never fails to rewire my brain.
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do. do you think randy could play memory on the guitar
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#fuck#fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#im catastrophizing and i know it but i can't fucking. stop it.#why do i ruin everything i touch#every attempt i make to make myself understood just makes people angry#every expressed emotion just makes people uncomfortable#fuck. fuck#im so tired#im so fucking tired I'm so scared i can't keep losing people i can't i can't i can't#hhhhh#i...... gods damn it all what do i have to fix myself#it doesn't really matter in the end cuz i won't fucking do it will i#I can't do anything#period. End of sentiment. I can't DO things. im fucked no matter what goddamnit#fuck. fuck fuck fuck. what is WRONG with me#i can't even cry for help because i cant fucking be helped i refuse it all despite knowing i need it despite knowing#KNOWING#that i have to be the one to do it#and i can't.#worthless. fuck. such a worthless piece of shit
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dog behind by the aubreys. if you even care.
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ahaaha. eedgar. ahaha. hugged him. despite having no idea what was going on. ahaha. fuck.
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THERE CN B NO MERCY IN TH HEART OF TH HEART OF WOLVES THERE CN B NO SHELTER KN THE EYE OF THE STORM NO NO NO NO CAST INTO FLAMES 2 BURN N 2 DIE N BURN BUT INSTEAD I FOUND COMFORT. IN ITS. CORE.
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Hey everyone, I know it's going to be a busy day for a lot of people, but Google enrolled everyone over 18 into their AI program automatically.
If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.
Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.
Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.
I saw this over on bluesky and figured it would be good to spread on here. It only takes a few minutes to do.
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