#Friend Breakup

[starsandlightning]

Do you ever have those conversations that you know are friendship-ending? And even as you’re having them, you’re like, “wow this is so terrible!! I didn’t realize this would hurt as much as it does, can we stop now?” But the deeper in you go, the more you understand that there’s no turning back. They can’t unsay what they just said. And you can’t change their mind.

So afterwards you just sit there like. I can’t believe that just happened. We exchanged Valentine’s baskets last year. I was at your last birthday party. You send me funny reels and reply to all my notes. You check in on me. You know about my mother. And this is how it ends?

Idk it’s been a rough year

[martyrborne]

Devotion: profound dedication, loyalty, or love for a person, activity, or cause.

To love like a dog. To give everything and receive nothing but table scraps. To always want more.

[sunshineysprinkles]

idk who needs to hear this today, but don't go lurking on ex friends and partners. nothing you see or read will make you feel better there. all you're doing is hurting your own feelings. leave them in the past and do your best to move on with your own life, to make what you have now happier rather than dwelling on things that used to be (:

[writingthethoughtsaway]

“I believed you even when I knew you were lying.”

- S. C. C.

[robinsnestwoutrest]

How I’ve Been Feeling // A Friendship is Burning To Ashes (And I’m Not Sure If I’m Angry Or Just Tired)

Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms // Tired - beabadoobee // ritikajyala // Tucker Edwards // aidashakur // Best Friend - Lauren Aquilina

[ettle]

There's a lot of support and positivity for friendships where one or both members don't speak very often, and that's great.

But I want to pour one out for the friends who work to keep those friendships alive. To the friends who realize how long it's been and send the first message. To the friends that make the plans, and move heaven and earth to make sure the other one can make it. To the friends who reassure the other that they will always be there when the other wants to reach out.

And also.

To the friends who decided to stop texting first, and never heard from the other again. To the friends who decide to let other people bend their own schedules for a change, and suddenly no one hangs out anymore. To the friends who always held a space open but are left making the hard decision to close the door.

[seasofjupiterx]

why does no one talk about how friends can break your heart so devastatingly intimately sometimes a million times worse than romantic partners

why does no one talk about friend break ups…

[millybrowm]

i’ve been processing the end of a close friendship recently. i’ve been feeling a lot of grief about it, especially because the end of it came around because they just stopped trying. it feels like they don’t care. we don’t have a lot of space in our culture to grieve the ends of friendships—romantic relationships are too highly prioritized—and that’s what i’m trying to do with this zine.

[twilicats]

Disco Elysium reference. PLEASE click for better quality

[everyone-loves-you]

[jos-has-too-many-hobbies]

Losing a friend of years is so soul destroying.

When you realize they fundamentally didn’t value friendship in the same way you do- as an equal to romance

When you can’t get rid of the speaking mannerisms you picked up from them

When they seem so unbothered, as if nothing happened, and you have to reconcile that with your grief

When you can’t tell how much of what you see looking back is the rose-tinted glasses coming off and how much is grasping for some sort of personal justification

When the person you can no longer stand to be around undeniably shaped you into the person you are now

When no one takes your heartbreak seriously, because you were “just friends”

[datamodel-of-disaster]

Ooof.

It's been about a year now, and I'm still not entirely over my devastating friend breakup.

Like, I guess I AM over it in the sense that I'm pretty much fine. I did my grieving (Read: cried my eyes out on the living room rug, downed a bottle of too expensive wine at a sushibar while sorting through the devastation with Husband and QPP, listened to Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball and wallowed in self pity until I got tired of myself, wrote a lot of cruel/angry/miserable/desperate tumblr posts that didn't make it out of my drafts, read The Friendship by Connie Palmen and Take Care Of Yourself by Sophie Calle, found a modicum of peace with the fact that I really felt more humiliated than sad, you know.) and I mostly no longer think about it. It's not really a thing in my life anymore.

....

But holy fuck. I'm NOT over it in the sense that accidentally coming across anything they made is still a recipe for Instant Physical Panic. Like, heart racing, nausea, the works.

It's just...

I can't fucking believe they wrecked me so bad that accidentally seeing their art or their fics or even their bloody username makes my body respond with such instantaneous threat response, almost 9 months later still.

There they are, completely and utterly unaffected, and there am I, having hypertension over seeing their art reblogged on somebody else's blog. It's like the humiliation just won't end.

And whatever can I do about it? Nothing, that's what.

Except this.

One of the reasons I originally gave them the ick was my "bad habit" of publicly processing all my feelings; guess I'm not escaping that allegation. Still. I'm lancing the boils of this grief, one by one. Better out in the open than festering inside.

[writingthethoughtsaway]

“Do you have any idea of how many little things remind me of you everyday?”

- S. C. C.

[adventuresyettobehad]

it’s been a long week. i wish i could tell you about it.

[dewdrop-clove]

Homoerotic friendships will be the death of me.

Wdym you never loved me in that way? You looked at me like there was some hidden beauty in my eyes, something only you could see.

Wdym you were just using me to make him jealous? You loved me the same even when we were alone.

Wdym it didn't mean anything? We slept next to eachother and when I woke you up to breakfast in bed, you smiled at me so sweetly. If that had been the last thing I'd ever seen, I would've died happy.

Wdym we aren't soulmates? You told me I understood you better than anyone ever had.

Wdym I need to let you go? How can I let go of the best thing I ever had?

[florence-not-italy]

hahaha. isn't it so funny you'll always be my favourite best friend but i was never yours to start with.