#breakups

[our--impossible--love]

[sunshineysprinkles]

idk who needs to hear this today, but don't go lurking on ex friends and partners. nothing you see or read will make you feel better there. all you're doing is hurting your own feelings. leave them in the past and do your best to move on with your own life, to make what you have now happier rather than dwelling on things that used to be (:

[inbabylontheywept]

she was dead silent on the drive home, but that was okay. sometimes, after band practice, she was just out of words. it was a short drive to her house. the only part where it actually felt weird was after i pulled up her parent’s driveway. 

after that, the silence stretched so far it smeared and left a weird residue. she kept looking at the car door like she wanted to leave, so i looked at the door too, then she looked at me, and i looked at her, and my first thought was that she was going to tell me that the door was stuck. i was used to that car always doing some damn thing. it was the car me and all my siblings had learned to drive in, and it was really beat to hell. there were dents all over the body, which we’d unsuccessfully tried fixing up with spackle. it had looked nice for maybe a week, but then the sun wrecked it - the spackle cracked up like the mud on the bottom of a dry riverbed and turned a sort of off yellow-white that made the car looked like it had been molded out of chicken shit. it also had a bullet hole it through the cabin that whistled like a toothless old man whenever the car went above 40, so loud it could drown out the radio, and a cabin that smelled so strongly of bugspray that even the arizona summer we drove everywhere we could with the windows down.

(if you have kids one day, you will maybe, possibly, begin to understand how much i loved that car.)

anyway, i was thinking about what else could possibly be wrong with the chickenshitmobile, and she just kept looking at me, and then i wondered if there was something on my face, and she just kept looking at me, and then the penny dropped and i realized she was trying to work up the nerve to break up with me. 

now, i’d seen her work up the nerve to do things like this before – it could take quite a while. and knowing it was about to happen made the waiting immediately unbearable. 

so i said hey. 

and she looked at me, very startled, and said hey back real small. like she’d been caught. and in a way, i suppose she had. 

and i said it’s okay. you can just say it. i’ll be okay.

i’m always okay. 

and she said: i’m really sorry. 

i loved her, you know? it was highschool, but teenagers are capable of love. the way people love changes over time just as much as the way they stand, or the way they talk, but things don’t stop existing just because they're different. opposite really – a thing only stops changing when it's fully gone.

and i said, nothing to be sorry for, and i meant it. she looked a little relived, and i was happy to give her that peace. then she left. i watched her make it through the front door, because that was just habit at that point, and then i sat there a while afterwards, checking how i felt. and the answer was not good, but good enough to make it home. good enough to limp on. 

so i put my car in reverse, took my last look goodbye, and immediately backed into her neighbor’s car. 

crunch. 

air bags didn't go off, which was good. i left a decent dent in the bumper of the other car. genuinely couldn’t tell if i did anything to my car – anything wrong with it just kind of blended together into the general ecosystem of hand mottled, sun cracked, chickenshit spackle. 

i checked my glove box, and my car insurance info was, of course, out of date. my phone was dead too. as a teenager, my phone was less my lifeline to my friends, and more my tether to my parents, so i wasn’t particularly conscious of keeping it charged. both my fault.

i sat there a few minutes, trying to think of the best way to handle things, and there was only one answer i could think of, and i hated that answer, so i spent a few more minutes trying and failing to think of a better one, and then a few more coming to peace with what had to be done. 

then i went back to knock on my now ex’s front door. 

her dad opened, which i was very relieved over, even if he seemed less than thrilled. he looked me over, and in a firm, but slightly apologetic way said: she does not want to see you right now. 

(i think he assumed i was going to try and talk her out of the break up?)

and i said not here for her. i just backed into your neighbor’s car, and i need to call my dad, but my phone’s dead. could i borrow yours?

and he looked at me, then back at his neighbors car, which sure enough was dented, then he looked at the chickenshitmobile, and if there was something wrong with it, it just kind of blended into the general Wrongness of the car, then back to me, and i could see him imagining the last ten minutes from my pov: getting broken up with, backing into a car, having to walk up to your exes door and borrow a phone, calling my dad to tell him that i just reversed into someone.  

and his expression shifted from stern and apologetic to truly sad, which felt more kind that i deserved. things only got here because i kept fucking up - forgot to look behind me, forgot to replace the insurance forms, forgot to charge my phone. it was my mess, but his sympathy meant the world to me. i probably would’ve cried if he said sorry, or patted me on the back or called me sport, but instead he said

stay out here – i’ll bring you a phone.

and then he left.  

i found a nice spot on the lawn in the shade under a sycamore, then settled into his grass.i was trying not to freak out, and was doing an okay job. he came out a minute or so later, not just with a phone, but a juicebox and a jar of green olives, which really threw a wrench in the whole try not to cry thing. soon as i saw those, a few tears squoze out. i was still hoping i could pass them off as Manly Tears but then he told me that he’d gotten the olives a few weeks before and had been meaning to hand them off to me, and that this was his last chance for that. then i made a sound like a horse drowning in a bog, and he patted my back pretty rough, four solid thumps, like he wasn't sure if i was crying or choking on an olive, and was trying to cover both bases at once.

then he went back inside, and i made a few more bog horse noises while finishing off the rest of the entire jar of green olives, and then i called my dad.

he was about ten minutes away that day, and luckily was home. he drove over, and we went to the neighbor’s house, and from there things actually went quite nice. the neighbor was a retired man who actually said he could fix the dent himself, no need for insurance. he said he appreciated that i didn't just drive off, and i said i was really sorry about his car, and he said he was really sorry about my car, and then he gestured to the chickenshitmobile and i laughed because it really was a disaster on wheels.

then we left.

i thought we were going to head straight home, but instead we went to a gas station, and we both got several slim jims that we folded into thick enough coils that we could put them on a hotdog bun because the growing up mormon equivalent of having a sad brewski with your dad is just choosing to make bad decisions sober. then he took me to the canals and we watched the sun turn all orange and pink, and he looked over at me and said:

brains are good at remembering bad days. so you gotta make sure that a bad day has a good part in it, so you can remember that too. remember that when you have a kid. try to do a good job on days like that - they're going to be a big part of how they remember you.

and then he gave me a big hug and said he was never going to eat another slim jim again.

---

the year after that i went to college, which kicked my butt in new and exciting ways. and on a lot of those bad days, after a test that went sour, or a faux paus that was particularly embarrassing, or some other hardship of my new adult life, i’d stop by the gas station and pick up leathery, half jerkied hotdog before heading to the canals to watch the sun set. i’d take a bite and imagine my dad next to me, grimacing through the slim-jim wad, asking what good thing i was going use that time to remember. 

and in my head, i’d say you, dad. 

i’m going to remember you.

[hopelessvalentines]

i would’ve left the entire world behind for you

[itchy-arms]

[incognitopolls]

Hypothetical scenario: you are in a happy, committed, long-term relationship. However, something changes that renders the two of you incompatible. Assume both of you were on the same page originally– for example, neither of you previously wanted children, but now your partner does.

"One of you realizes your sexuality is different + doesn't align w/ their gender": for example, if both of you are women, one of you realizes you're actually straight, or you're different genders and one of you realizes you're gay. Or both of you are nonbinary and have previously identified as bisexual but one of you realizes you're asexual. Et cetera.

–

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[mytranssnakes]

Gay people love having breakups before theyre even together, and then get together anyway

[our--impossible--love]

[smolkooks]

incoming call... (part ii) - kenji sato

a/n: roughly 2k more words of kenji sato fluff! sequel to 'incoming call...' link to part i

ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚

“ouch!”

you snickered, “ken, i told you not to get too close! she doesn’t like strangers,” you leant down to scratch the little kitten’s cheeks, and because she knew you and you were undoubtedly her best friend, she purred in contentment, all the while giving kenji sato an irritated glare.

the nickname—ken—slipped off your tongue smoothly, the same way you’d been saying it for the past few months that you’d been spending around your highschool sweetheart. even though you’d been apart for so many years and hadn’t seen each other for so long, it had been easy to slip back into an old rhythm.

“fuck, i didn’t know she’d actually bite me, she looks so tiny,” he hissed, shaking his reddened finger.

“size means nothing when it comes to animals,” you retorted, and despite the way you rolled your eyes, you still handed him an ice pack from your freezer, “take this, big baby.”

he huffed but took it anyway, pressing it to his injury.

it had become a bit of a routine—after his games, he’d come over to your clinic to visit you while you handled the late-night clean ups. the rest of the vet team headed home at closing, but with no kids or family to care for, you often spent your evenings here, keeping the animals company and handling some of the extra paper work. 

“how’s emi doing, by the way?” you said as you refilled some of the water bowls. most of the animals were sleeping at this time, but you still liked to make sure they were all fed and watered. in fact, it was better to do it while they were asleep—less whinging from the little babies for treats.

“she’s doing well,” he said, and it was his turn to roll his eyes as he leant against the bench, “attitude and all, as always.”

“she’s a teenage girl,” you said with a laugh, “it’s so normal. i was one, so i can affirm.”

“mhm,” he said, eyes gleaming, “i remember.”

it was weird, toeing this line with kenji sato. so long ago, you’d been each other’s universes and after separating to go to university, the two of you had been sucked into different orbits—him going into baseball in the states, and you pursuing veterinary medicine in australia. it almost felt like fate nudging you, having the two of you run into each other—back in japan all these years later.

saving you from responding, his phone rang at that very moment. being around kenji all these weeks had gotten you used to his late night calls—how he’d have to run off to take care of the city. but this call seemed to come from one of his teammates, with the familiar way he addressed the person on the other side of the line.

he’d told you that at first he didn’t have any friends here, too busy to do anything but work. but now, he’d grown close to plenty of his teammates and of course, he had you.

“yeah well, i’m kinda busy right now actually...why?” you overheard him say as you busied yourself with some clean up and tried not to look like you were eavesdropping, “oh...oh! yeah uh—what?! what the...” his change in tone piqued your interest.

“...right, thanks for telling me, i’ll call you back later, yuta. thanks...” he hung up, and turned sharply to you, meeting your awaiting gaze, “the press caught you, uh, getting into my car.”

you frowned, confused at the problem with that, considering it wasn’t at all illegal for kenji to have friends.

“they’re blowing it up,” he said, running a hand through his hair and messing it up again, “i...i don’t mind, but i don’t want it to hurt you, that’s all.”

you waved his concerns off, “it’s whatever, to me. as long as it doesn’t harm your reputation, i don’t really have a public image to maintain. my patients don’t care who i date or don’t date.”

date? you felt flustered the moment those words left your lips. even though the two of you had been getting closer again and flirting and doing things that one would do while dating, neither of you had clarified the boundary yet.

kenji seemed equally as flustered and didn’t address what you’d said, not wanting to embarrass you, “you’re right,” he smiled crookedly, and you returned one back despite your racing heart.

***

the moment you stepped into your mum’s house, you were bombarded.

“what’s this about you dating kenji again!” she exclaimed, shutting the door behind you and ushering you into your childhood living room, “i haven’t seen that boy in decades. and since when were you—,”

“what, mum?” you cut her off sharply, even as she shoved you into a chair and poured you hot tea, sitting down opposite you eagerly, “i’m not dating him? plus, where’d you even—,”

she shoved the article in your face before you could even finish the question, her phone screen so bright that it took your eyes a second to adjust. “mum, your phone’s so bright, it can’t be good for your eyes.”

“not important, y/n,” she snapped hurriedly, “look at it.”

blinking your eyes to focus, you finally saw the image clearly. it really did look like you were dating. the window of kenji’s porsche was wound down, and you were leant over towards him, pressed so close to him in a way you didn’t remember doing, even though you knew that you’d only been reaching over to grab the gum from his glovebox. the way he was looking at you, though—you hadn’t noticed in the moment. it was really full of adoration, eyes glittering with a love you remembered so clearly from your highschool days, and his arm was reached out around you in a way you also hadn’t noticed before.

“explain,” your mum demanded, although she didn’t seem annoyed, she seemed...quite excited, the way her eyes were suspiciously bright, “i miss seeing that lovely boy around.”

embarrassed, especially as your eyes scanned over the headline—baseball star kenji sato’s new sweetheart?!—you stuttered, “uh, i ran into him a few weeks ago and we’ve been hanging out, you know, at the clinic.”

“well, then, what are you doing in his car?” she rushed, waving her phone around again, “doesn’t look like the clinic to me. and look—,” she scrolled down a bit further to another picture, this one even more incriminating.

it was you, tucked in the audience of one of kenji’s baseball games, dressed in his team colours, cheering amongst the other vip guests sitting amongst you—friends and family of the players.

“well—,”

“i’m not hearing it,” she cut you off, a grin breaking out, “you’re bringing him over! i can’t believe it—my daughter and kenji, reunited,” she sighed happily, “i was worried you would never settle down, you know.”

flustered, you didn’t even bother to object, sagging in your seat at her insistence.

***

“y/n, i’m really sorry, i didn’t think it’d be that bad,” he said hurriedly as he followed you up the stairs to your apartment, “i’m really sorry. i’m trying to get them to take it down but you know how—,”

you whirled around as you shut the door to your apartment after letting him in, “my mum wants to see you.”

“huh?”

you sighed, switching on the lights and throwing yourself onto your couch, “she saw the article and couldn’t stop going on about how i was finally settling down and how she needed to see you again.”

he ran a hand through his hair, “you...don’t mind?”

“kenji,” you sat up straight, beckoning him over, “i don’t mind. and i wouldn’t mind...”

the silence was loud, the only sound in the room the quiet humming of your lights and the traffic outside, as he sat down beside you, sinking into the cushions.

you knew you didn’t have to finish your sentence. kenji sato knew you too well. he met your eyes and pulled you close, hugging you to his chest. you breathed in his scent—clean, and a little tinted with fish. you’d found out that he often had to go fishing—diving, more like—for emi’s dinners, and that was why he was so often around your apartment block...to fish in the river like a weirdo.

“y/n...”

you hummed, waiting for him to continue as you pressed your face into his chest.

“i really meant it when i said i missed you, back when we first saw each other again,” he began, and you smiled into his skin, “i was so lonely. drained, and it was like fate—seeing you that day saved me, i swear. you were all i could think about. i couldn’t...i couldn’t imagine never seeing you again.”

“kenji,” you murmured, leaning back to look at him earnestly, “i missed you, too.”

“what i’m trying to say is,” he swallowed, looking down before looking up to meet your gaze again, “i...i wanna date you, y/n. if you’ll have me,” suddenly shy, he flushed a bit at his own words.

you smiled at how sweet it was, how shy he seemed and also how your stomach fluttered with butterflies, “ken, of course i’ll have you. you’re all i want.”

you’d barely finished your sentence when his lips met yours in a gentle, soft kiss. you couldn’t really put it into words, how it felt to kiss kenji again after all these years. it felt like coming home. it felt like taking all the colours of the sunset and smearing it across a canvas. it felt like drinking warm milk tea. you hummed into the kiss as he deepened it, pulling you closer by the nape of your neck, and you reached up to tangle your hands in his dark locks, pulling him down towards you at the same time.

you were so close to him you could feel his heartbeat—almost hear it, and you hoped he couldn’t hear how quickly yours was racing. he tasted of caramel, and you couldn’t help but sigh as his hands slid down to your waist, pulling you onto his lap as you broke apart from the kiss, curling into him in a hug.

“y/n,” he murmured, keeping his arms wrapped around you, “i really, really missed you.”

you’d missed him too. his little habits, his dishevelled hair—fish smell, and all. you’d missed him more than anything.

finally, you’d come home.

[heartofmuse]

Drifting away hurts even if it's you who cut the rope.

e.v.e.

[in-silver-lake]

party on you

synopsis: you felt like your world stopped. billie, though, she had no problem just moving on. cw: angst, breakup, no happy ending, college au a/n: this is mostly inspired by party 4 u by charli xcx - i just realised that the way she looped it at the end meant u could hear it as "party on you" or "you party on". i mean wtaf.

i remember that night like it was yesterday: the hot sting of my angry tears, the shake in my hands, the bite of the cold, frigid winter air. i remember the horrifyingly blank look on her face, how crushingly impersonal and carelessly she upended my world with eight simple words: i dont think i can do this anymore. as if we hadn’t just shared the last ten months of our lives together, as if i hadn’t bared my soul to her, whispered thoughts that only live in the darkest corners of my mind, trusted her with my body, as if i hadn’t slept one night without an i love you, goodnight. 

in hindsight, the signs were there. the distance that crept up, that started growing between us, the way she would sound irritated when i called her, as if me trying to talk and find out about her day was a bother. she started to see me less and less, always telling me she was busy, that she was seeing her friends, that she was tired and didn’t feel like it. when we did see each other, it was awkward, my attempts at connecting with her blocked by this invisible wall she had put up, her disinterest and growing indifference like a knife to my chest. whenever i tried to ask her if everything was okay, she would dismiss me, huffing in annoyance as if my love, my care for her was a burden. it all came to a head one night in august, the weather strangely cold for that time of year, penetrating through to my bones as i stood on her doorstep, desperate to see her. the blankness behind her eyes, the indifference on her face as i cried, as she told me that i was too much, too clingy, that she couldn’t handle this relationship anymore, hitting my deep in my chest. 

it had been two weeks since, and for every moment of those two weeks i felt as if i was sleepwalking, going through the motions, not feeling or thinking much of anything except for a deep ache in my chest, constantly obsessing over what i did wrong.

my friends, in a well-meaning attempt to cheer me up, get me out of my head, dragged me to a party. i felt detached from myself as they dressed me, did my makeup, grinning as they laughed amongst one another, eyes light, unburdened, as they told me how pretty i looked. they were speaking, playing music, but i couldn’t hear any of it, smiling and forcing a laugh when they starting giggling at something. 

i stood in the corner of some stranger’s kitchen, the dark room broken up only by scattered neon light. i had a red cup in my hand, shoved there by one of my friends, the smell of something strong wafting up and burning my nose. i hadn’t taken a single sip. my dress felt entirely too tight, my makeup too heavy, and the dense, claustrophobic press of bodies in the crowded space was making my skin crawl. i was cornered by my friends, most of them well on their way to being drunk, their voices grating and too loud, pathetically failing in my attempt to seem normal, happy, relaxed. my eyes swept the room, taking in the drunk, sweaty faces of college students who had grasped the opportunity to loosen up, but then-

there she was. in the middle of the room, like i was seeing a ghost. her sleek, black hair was held back by a black-and-white patterned bandana, a loose, long-sleeve jersey hanging off her frame, my eyes drawn to her like a compass is drawn to true north as she radiated an easy, confident energy that was so distinctly billie. 

but there she was. kissing another girl. hands smoothing over long, shiny blonde hair, over tight, black fabric, gripping the outside of her thigh, her neck, her cheek, the girl eagerly reciprocating with her own roaming touch. their tongues clashing as they made out, right there, right in front of me. 

everything around me seemed to go still, and all i could see was them, her, as i heard our last argument play over and over again in my head, like someone had turned the volume up on the memory that had been haunting me since it happened. i couldn’t breathe, i couldn’t move, feet planted to the spot. i had tunnel vision, unable to tear my eyes away, even as my vision grew hazy with tears. as if she could feel my gaze, billie looked up, the girl tilting her head to continue kissing her neck. for the briefest moment, i thought i saw a flicker of guilt in billie’s eyes, but i forced myself to tear my eyes away from hers. i ignored everything in me that told me to stay where i was, if nothing else just to be in her presence, and walked away. 

out the door, down the street, away from her, away from her life.

just like she wanted.

[clubeso]

Severing Ties Tarot Spread

Spiritual & Occult PDF guides available for download.

[laseracronym]

Why You Broke Up With Them (MHA/Reader)

Summary: The reason why you broke up with various MHA characters. Part 1? (Angst up ahead. This isn't intended to be bashing, it's just a fun angsty thought exercise for the drama lol) Part 2

Characters: Iida, Bakugou, Aizawa, and Yamada

MHA-MHA-MHA

Iida

His family expectations. He's a legacy hero and he's expected to honor and carry on the values of the Iida family. You found yourself struggling more and more to fit the mold laid out for you as the partner of the next head of the family, to navigate the world of the hero industry's elite. You decided it would be for the best that you parted ways.

Bakugou

He was way too busy, constantly training or out on patrol, constantly on the grind. He always demanded perfection from himself as a hero, never letting himself slow down, he spread himself too thin and your relationship ended up falling through the cracks. It got to the point where you felt more like his roommate than his partner, and any attempt to suggest he needed better balance in his life only led to arguments.

Aizawa

He pushed you away. He was always distant when it came to your relationship, it felt like he was keeping you at arms length. He didn't want to admit just how much he felt for you, because that would mean that you were another person he was afraid of losing. So scared of this loss, he kept himself shut away and allowed the distance between you to grow until it was impossible to cross anymore.

Yamada

He never let you see the real him. It didn't take long into your relationship to realize that Present Mic was just a persona he put on, one he used to protect his inner, true self. Even out of costume, he still kept so much of that persona going in front of you, rarely did you get to see the real Hizashi. It never felt like you were with an actual person, try as he might it was too much to put down the act.

(Requests)

[itchy-arms]

[shakespearean-simp]

exboyfriend!mattheo watching f!reader clean up her new boyfriend instead of him

when mattheo beat him up after hearing him say to his friends that he was using her and that she was a slut

m: *why doesn't she look at me like that anymore? he doesn't deserve her. i love her. i love her? i love her. i miss her. please come back. i need her. yeah i need her. why does she look at him the way she used to look at me? she deserves someone better. like me. he should eat shit. he looks like shit too. good job mattheo.*