#GRADE 1 WHY
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happy "our marriage is never gonna recover from this" day
#this is why you share your plan with 1 (one) other person; kids. otherwise you end up embarrassing yourself in front of the people#you were trying to impress (and the man youve fallen head over heels for)#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#ed teach#edward teach#blackbeard#september 1st#s01e04#Discomfort in a Married State#gif#i didnt get the colour grading quite how i wanted it but i had fun tweaking them! its all learning; baybeee#im having fun! hopefully new laptop will have the power to let me control more things. maybe#(or maybe thats just skill issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)#yall gotta be nice to me ok im still figuring things out#also like. as i said earlier. i knowwww this scenes been giffed to shit. but also not so many with the leap year note! so.#i learnt that 1717 was NOT a leap year in the process of making this. djenks i feel betrayed & lied to#did YOU remember we had a february 29th this year? because i sure didnt. i squandered her
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look at me im so awesome. Og is from 2020
#im on a redrawing spree it helps me feel better abt my art cause when im redrawing my own art the only person i have to worry about being#better than is myself. Amen#dear past me you are a coward. hashtag aphmau is fat#aphmau fanart#aphposting#doodles#my art#art#fanart#any drawings i post upcoming are probably all going to be redraws of my old stuff#i just like seeing how ive changed#NUMBER 1. WHY IS 2020S LEGS SO LONG 😭#i remember when iw as drawing in class in 8th grade and this girl told me Dude her legs are soo long abt a different drawing#and im like Ok that was rude. im killing myself#and then i started making legs shorter and i got so much better amen#also i changed her bracelet into like a friendship bracelet thing just for me. bcuz i think its cute and i saw#fanart of aphmau wearing a bunch of kandi bracelets and i had to include something#still figuring out her hair. im not sure what kind of texture i want her to have#shoutout to the cat i drew in the old one. Truly a masterpiece?
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can't believe the americans are mocking "sixth form" when freshman, sophomore, junior and senior makes NO INTUITIVE SENSE
#fhjy#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#adventuring party#im not even english and our system has grades 1 through 10 and then next school stage years 1-4 and then university#which is like#very transparent#but i do not see where these yanks (affectionate) get off mocking a number based name when junior year isnt even the first one#why is the man fresh???
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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HI CARPET I LOVE YOU!!! JUMPS AROUND IN YOUR INBOX EXCITEDLY!! FEEL FREE TO RESPOND TO THIS NEVER OR WHENEVER YOU WANT SINCE I KNOW UNIVERSITY IS ENDLESSLY TIME-CONSUMING... mwah.... I hope Carpet has been THRIVING and if not I'm coming to your uni posthaste to give them a few stern words
crying thank u so much gray i love you too!!!!! i’ve been missing my tumblr amigos so much! carpet has been. existing. like u said endlessly time consuming but i’m learning a ton art-wise and trying lots of new stuff way outside my comfort zone, so I’m super excited to start incorporating that all into my fan work!! 💕
enjoy some kwami doodles while I plug away at homework in the meantime :)

#carpetbug answers#amigos 💕#currently grinding some paintings that r due monday :’)#but yeah!! carpetbug paintings inks and charcoals coming soon!!!#maybe sculptures too if i’m feeling crazy#also got my first midterm grade back and it was a 99. what the fuck did i do to get -1. why wouldn’t she just give me the 100.
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okay okay okay okay
last grade (93%) on the last thing (the paper) is in
somehow
some-fucking-how
in spite of my brain actively melting down for half this term while trying to get into a neurologist and then onto a medication for the migraines, i think i pulled off mostly A's????????
............................who wants to join me in slightly panicked and bewildered but mostly happy screaming?
#for those of you who live in countries with saner grading systems: A's for us means 90% and up#which is why this is honestly slightly insane bc i did the math at the start of april and at that point i'd spend on average 1 in 3 days#actively having a migraine and the rest of them in recovery from that#lyli survives finals week#personal
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...
#shout out to me for being an insufferable loud mouth in my group therapy class for over controlled losers#which is funny bc 1) i used to b extremely extremely shy and afraid of speaking to ppl and 2) bc im probably a normal amount of talkative#now lol. but in this class. its a class setting but im not getting a grade and the material isnt beyond my compression and psychology is a#soft science so i can argue back on things and not b objectivly wrong. so im like fuck it im gonna b annoying bc there r no consequences#except ppl thinking im annoying and like why tf would i care. i only see these ppl in this specific setting#and they have no authority over me and also they're annoying too bc they have similar issues to me but different. and there r archetypes.#like some ppl get real caught up on the rules and terminology of the material and im like ugh ur missing the point. the details dont fucking#matter. just think abt how u can use the idea. or some ppl r like really judgy and think theyre right abt things and im like. ugh. u sound#so insufferable. shut the fuck up. or some ppl r just extremely quiet and blank faced and just giving u nothing u have to carry the whole#conversation to make up for their lack of input. and i dont mean that in a bad way. i think everyone has the right to b annoying. i still#like them. so im like. well fuck it. i can b annoying too. so my annoying things r that im very padantic about the examples that our#instructors give. like: that doesn't fit with what u just said. or this is why i disagree with the idea. or actually i already do this thing#were learning today. which like. if i was an instructor. at least id b glad me as a student was engaging seriously with the materials#and is hopefully clarifying aspects of things. im told im good at conceptualizing things into metaphor.#whatever. i dont care. i mean. i feel intolerable but like also im not gonna stop bc who gives a fuck#also everytime they talk abt evolution stuff or data from studies im very suspicious. like show me how the fuck they quantified the number#of expressions the human face can make. show me the fucking data bc u cant fucking tell me its not an infinite number if u consider every#varied muscle movement in every combination. and its apparently very obvious when im disagreeing bc i make a face#which one of the instructors tried to prement my comments today but i was critical from a different perspective than she thought lol#anyway. shout of to being insufferable. as fucking lyrics from jc superstar wrattle endlessly through the empty caverns of my mind#i fucking love that musical. its rocketed up to like number 3 position. i lov musicals so much#bc im cringe and i don't give a fuck#unrelated
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i don't think i've ever seen a high school sports team with an actual costumed mascot, but kids movies and tv of the 2000s would make you think that they were actually a big thing that every school had
#do you guys remember hatching pete from 2009... that was like#the logical conclusion of this trope#is that the high school mascot gets a hero storyarc#the idea of the whole school being inspired and enamored by a mysterious teenager dancing in a chicken suit...#hilarious.#like normally the trope was to present it as like a demoralizing/humbling thing a character gets stuck w doing#and that's not a positive representation of it i suppose. but. does anybody WANT to do that?#like kids actually do like playing sports and cheerleading. perhaps...#perhaps there could be a kid out there who wants to dance in a costume but they'll probably just gravitate towards furryism#theyd wanna pick out their own costume! duh#text post#ive been rewatching hannah montana thats why im saying this#the way that season 1 episode is referenced in season 4 when she sees the dean of the college that rejected her#they were like 'you have no extracurriculars to speak of...#when you were in eighth grade you were a tricycle-riding pirate for... half???... a basketball game#and in the twelfth the grade... you climbed a rope'#sorry i still find that line hilarious#miley stewart really was out there lookin like she had no accomplishments to speak of LOL
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yuuta nation has a fav that’s never lost a fight but kisses bugs to get out of them
#a win is a win i guess😭😭😭😭#every so often i remember that and just pause in my tracks. like why did he do that 😭#he absolutely did NOT have to he’s just so goddamn strange …..#if you think about it the real winners are todo fans. never lost. strong battle iq. supportive friend. grade 1 before graduation#jjk spoilers
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Grade so bad you consider dropping out
#me: man I felt like this module went well. perhaps I'll get my first first. perhaps that's overambitious. a 2:1 would be nice though!#my lecturer: yeah okay so you got a third#anyway fuck that shit I'm not going to class later#<- now you might say that this is the attitude that will continue to get me bad grades but my attendance for Bad Grade Module was 100%#I Cannot take people discussing their grades. sorry#it's the same lecturer who gave me the bad grade and honestly maybe he'll guess that that's why I'm not in. i don't care#I feel rather demotivated and discouraged right now. I wonder why
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coming back on really quickly to say a) i miss megumi b) i cannot believe there is now CANONICALLY someone named kaito in jjk phanpara and c) i also cannot believe that the cursed technique i made up for an oc i made based on one of my annoying classmates is also now canon in jjk phanpara
#for those not in the know kaito is the name of a minor character in pomegranate ink KFHDJS#he’s tullia’s cousin and gives reader one of her recommendations for grade 1 status#as for the cursed technique it’s the one the girl in phanpara has!! at least from what i’ve heard LMAO i haven’t played or anything#but it’s based on pain felt boosting cursed energy iirc?? which is EXACTLY what the character i made up had KFHDJ except he had chronic pain#so like his whole arc was him choosing to be happy and live a life where he didn’t cause more pain for himself in the pursuit of power etc#never posted this story because it was very self indulgent BUT i wrote it in like 2021 so it was certainly before phanpara#which is why the coincidence is making me giggle#m’s thoughts
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im completely running out of motivation for schoolwork
#idk. got a bad grade on an essay (it was like a B-B+ but still) and thought i was gonna fail my compsci project cuz my code didnt work#(he gave me 100???????)#but it still seems to have destroyed my drive to do anything at all. like why bother. why am i doing this shit.#i cant write well and thats about all im good at so why bother at all#idk. second time this week where i havent bothered to do my homework when i should#i feel so busy... i need to fix the way i percieve time cuz i have 1 event on saturday at 6 and i feel like itll take up the whole day#sigh but yeah idk. i have little passion for anything rn. everything feels out of obligation or smth#but maybe im just being dramatic#you can never tell with me#vent#misty muses
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hi I completely understand why you disabled replies on that contract grading post. but I'm presenting at an anti-ableism conference later this month and I would love to use it as an example of some of the current practices in academia that students find harmful. would that be okay with you? and if so, would you prefer I give you credit or remove your url?
you can use it 100% i would like credit, you dont have the remove my url. :]
#ask#i turned it off bc 1) ppl were annoying abt why i dont like contract grading#and 2) people kept trauma dumping
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small update
ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof
my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔
scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.
I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.
#im so sorry for this meltdown once again#so sorry#and for the paper - many people got 20#it was actually a very easy paper and yes 20 was doable#even i could've gotten a 20 had i not screwed up the way i did#and i feel so bad to even say “had i not screwed up...” the excuse sounds horrible to my ears#well what is done is done#i can only try better next time#this course might just end up being the easiest to get an A#let's hope that I don't fuck up this one too#after seeing my paper i just returned it and came back#and my friend was like “ok. why did u not ask them why you've lost so much when the concepts are all right there on your paper?”#and i was like “um so should i ask them?” she went “YES.”#but by the time i went back to the hall the TAs had left so i have to mail mine now#and im very worried that she wouldn't change the current grading#last time i missed an A in math by 1/2 marks and i don't want the same thing to happen this time 😔😔#oh god ONE good thing can help me right now please#ru's trying#JUST 1 good thing#just give me ONE#i was so out of sorts today i slept for ~5 hours during the day and missed my calc class#i deliberately missed it though bc i wasn't feeling up to mark#i regret not going but my brain simply said no we're not there atm so maybe it was for the better#once again im so so SO sorry for the meltdowns lately#it's been bad rains and cloudy days in my head for a while now#i hope for the sun soon
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Ouch one of my assignments in a course that determines whether I can continue being a research student just came back with a shitty grade. Thankfully, even though it brought my overall grade down by a…concerning amount, I’ve just barely maintained my GPA for that class
Now I just have to hope that the last few projects (2 handed in but unmarked, 1 due at the end of the week) do reeeeallllly well
#i considered contesting the grade on the basis that my marker missed a few details that could’ve gotten me an extra mark or two#but i did the math and an extra 1-2 points won’t change the gpa so there’s no use begging for scraps#anyway. that’s part of the reason why i’ve been m.i.a for the past week or so#things have been really hectic irl#academia
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a possible ship name for clarice and jimmy monet is clarinet and i think thats beautiful
#war flashbacks to 4th grade when like half of my classmates played clarinet. why#trying to think of one that isnt a portmanteau but its harddddd especially when they both only have like 1-2 episodes of characterization#and the radio is on and the radioman is speaking#ship names arent even that useful 2 me esp if its something like thsi like.#2 me its mostly for tagging purposes. on tiktok i like to use the better sounding ones cuz its fun#but i mean its nice to have one word to use i suppose
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