#Game Path to Nowhere Victoria

[whiteraven87]

The Flame that never Fades is a story of forbidden love, born in a world where there's no room for it - the ruthless realm of Formula 1, where perfection, milliseconds, and cold calculation rule the game.

Victoria Lorenz, the only woman on the grid, is a fierce spirit and the shining gem of Mercedes. Young, ambitious, and blindly in love with one man - Toto Wolff, the Mercedes Team Principal. He - married, powerful, experienced - sees her at first as an escape, a desire, an obsession he wants to control. She gives him everything, naively hoping he might one day love her back.

What starts as a calculated affair slowly transforms into a storm of passion that breaks all boundaries and changes everything. It's a story of feelings that burn through the soul - of a love that begins as an illusion, only to become painfully real when it might already be too late. Of devotion that knows no limits, and the price one pays to be loved… even if only for a moment.

This is a passionate, painful and full of illusions story. A tale that doesn't promise a happy ending, but stays in your heart forever…

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warnings: age gap (28 years), forbidden romance, obsession, desire, dark romance, smut, infidelity, emotional manipulation, dominant older man, angst, longing, possessiveness, emotional pain, toxic dynamics, no promise for happy ending.

💥 For mature readers 18+ – due to intense emotion, mature themes, and erotic content.

word count: 37k

read on: AO3 - Wattpad - or read below

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There's no one like you I can't wait for the nights with you I imagine the things we'll do I just wanna be loved by you J2, Coleen McMahon (Scorpions cover)

Song Playlist on Spotify:

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Hello, my Dear Readers

If you found your way here after reading the Unstoppable series, then I know you carry traces of Miriell and Toto within you — their struggle, their tenderness, their love and their pain. Thank you for walking that path with me.

If you haven't yet discovered their story, I wholeheartedly encourage you to explore The Unstoppable Series — a tale of strength, perseverance, and a love forged in the fire of pain and passion.

Link: The Unstoppable Series - Masterlist

But now — it's time for something entirely different.

The Flame That Never Fades is not a continuation, It's a standalone and a completely new story, set in the same world of Formula 1, but with an entirely different emotional weight.

This is not a classic love story. This is a dark romance — filled with tension, obsession, illusions, and choices that cannot be undone. With desires that know no boundaries.

It's a story that doesn't lead to easy answers. But perhaps that's why... it stays with us.

I'm glad you're here. We're about to begin a journey that will hurt. But it will be real.

cheers, WhiteRaven87

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Prologue 1: Middle of the Night 2: Frozen 3: Shameless 4: Lilith 5: Ruthless 6: The Machine 7: Ride 8: No One Like You 9: Sad Girl 10: Summetime Sadness 11: Un-break My Heart 12: Blue Jeans 13: Too Deep 14: Into Dust 15: Born to Die 16: Dark Paradise Epilogue

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Prologue

She always said she didn't need anyone. That she had grown used to solitude — to the echo of silence in an empty house, to the sound of her own thoughts bouncing off the walls. But the moment she looked into his eyes for the first time — dark, full of gravity and experience — she knew that loneliness would never be enough again.

***

She met them at the brightest moment of her life. Young, ambitious, stubborn. A girl from nowhere. An orphan from Poland whose sheer determination and extraordinary talent had led her to the top of the junior rankings. When she entered the Mercedes academy, she was only twenty-two years old, with a gaze that said just one thing: no one will ever break me.

That was when Susie — elegant, warm, with grace and strength that Victoria instantly admired — reached out to her. And behind her came him.

Toto Wolff. The team principal. A man whose name was spoken with both reverence and fear. Tall, impeccably dressed, with eyes that could see right through a person.

"Victoria Lorenz," he said simply, looking at her. "A name one remembers. And the eyes of a warrior."

In that moment, her heart — locked away for years — stirred for the first time.

***

She quickly proved to be more than just a young girl with a wild temperament. She stepped onto podiums with an elusive smile on her lips, won against all odds, never showed weakness. In the paddock they whispered about her: "Mercedes' diamond," "the fury of the track," "as beautiful as a dream, as fast as lightning."

She was named the sexiest athlete of the year, fans went wild, sponsors lined up.

But her eyes always searched for just one gaze. The one she carried in her heart, even though she had no right to it.

To Toto, she was like a daughter. A child without a family, whom he and Susie took under their wings. They invited her to their home for Christmas, visited her forest hideaway in Masuria, where Toto carried wood for the fireplace and Susie cooked dinner. Jack, their young son, called her "Aunt Vici," curled up in her arms and ran to her with every joy and every scraped knee. She was his confidante.

And at the same time — a lonely woman, who each night fell asleep with his father in her thoughts.

Sometimes, when Toto hugged her in a fatherly gesture, feeling like a protector, Victoria froze under his touch, soaking it in with all her being, like parched earth drinks in the rain. When they sat side by side in the motorhome and their knees brushed by accident, she felt it physically — an electric sting that would later haunt her in dreams.

She had no right to love him.

But she did.

Madly. Silently. To the point of losing herself.

She knew every tone of his voice, every gesture, the scent of his cologne, the way he ran his fingers through his hair when he was tense. She knew when he was tired, even if no one else saw it. She knew him better than anyone.

And she knew she was just Victoria to him — the girl who had no one, whom he and Susie had decided to protect.

So she stayed silent.

She hid her feelings beneath a mask of irony, strength, and nonchalance.

She called him boss with that mischievous smirk that disguised the trembling of her heart.

But the truth in his eyes... was still to come.

Because every mask eventually falls. Every desire demands release. And even the purest intention can turn into sin, when it ignites between two hearts that were never meant to come close.

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Next -> Chapter 1: Middle of the Night

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[drunkenelephantmaraonline]

Discover Kenya’s Hidden Game Reserves for a Unique Safari Adventure

When people think of a Kenyan safari, iconic spots like the Maasai Mara, Amboseli, and Tsavo often top the list. But Kenya is also home to lesser-known national reserves and game parks that offer equally thrilling wildlife experiences—with far fewer crowds.

At Drunken Elephant Mara, we specialize in taking travelers beyond the well-trodden path to unveil some of Kenya’s best-kept safari secrets. Here are our top picks for off-the-beaten-track game reserves in Kenya you should explore.

Meru National Park

Why Go: This lush, unspoiled park was the setting for Born Free, the story of Elsa the lioness. Meru is a sanctuary of peace and raw beauty, offering excellent Big Five sightings.

Highlights:

Spot lions, elephants, rhinos, and leopards in a serene setting.

Explore Adamson’s Falls and the Tana River.

Birdwatching paradise with over 300 species.

Best Time to Visit: June to October (Dry season)

Samburu National Reserve

Why Go: Set in northern Kenya, Samburu is home to rare and unique wildlife species not found elsewhere—the Samburu Special Five.

Highlights:

View Grevy’s zebra, reticulated giraffe, Somali ostrich, gerenuk, and Beisa oryx.

Discover the Ewaso Ng’iro River, a hub for elephants and crocodiles.

Meet the vibrant Samburu people and learn about their culture.

Best Time to Visit: January – March, July – October

Aberdare National Park

Why Go: A misty, mountainous retreat filled with waterfalls and deep forests, this park is a refreshing alternative to the savannah.

Highlights:

Stay at Treetops Lodge, where Queen Elizabeth II became queen.

Spot rare bongo antelopes and elusive black leopards.

Trout fishing and scenic hikes to Karuru Falls.

Best Time to Visit: June to September

Ol Pejeta Conservancy

Why Go: A model for conservation, Ol Pejeta is home to the last two northern white rhinos on Earth and the only chimpanzee sanctuary in Kenya.

Highlights:

Visit Sweetwaters Chimpanzee Sanctuary.

Join night game drives to spot hyenas and leopards.

Participate in lion tracking and guided bush walks.

Best Time to Visit: Year-round

Shimba Hills National Reserve

Why Go: Close to Kenya’s coast, Shimba Hills is a rare mix of coastal rainforest and wildlife, ideal for those combining beach and bush.

Highlights:

See sable antelopes—found nowhere else in Kenya.

Hike to Sheldrick Falls and enjoy a swim.

Encounter elephants, leopards, and rich birdlife.

Best Time to Visit: October – December, March – May

Ruma National Park

Why Go: Located in western Kenya, Ruma is the country’s last refuge for the endangered roan antelope.

Highlights:

Spot roan and oribi antelopes in peaceful surroundings.

Take boat rides on nearby Lake Victoria.

Perfect for a quiet, uncrowded safari.

Best Time to Visit: December – February

Why Travel with Drunken Elephant Mara?

At Drunken Elephant Mara, we offer more than just safaris—we deliver authentic, eco-conscious adventures tailored to your preferences. From world-famous parks to hidden national reserves in Kenya, our expert guides will help you uncover the wild beauty most travelers miss.

📩 Let’s Plan Your Safari! 📧 Email: adventure@drunkenelephantmara.com 📞 Call: +254 738 450 106 🔗 Explore Game Reserves in Kenya

Final Thoughts

Kenya’s lesser-known game reserves and national parks offer a fresh perspective on safari travel—wilder, quieter, and deeply rewarding. Whether you’re a seasoned adventurer or a first-time explorer, these hidden gems promise memories that last a lifetime.

Ready to roam off the beaten path? Book your Kenyan safari with Drunken Elephant Mara today!

For more information, stay connected with us on Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), Pinterest, Threads, Instagram, Tripadvisor, YouTube, and Google Maps.

[cosplayclans]

Game Path to Nowhere Victoria Cosplay Costumes

[writings-of-a-daphodil]

A Gift

Luke x ghost!reader

Summary: It's your birthday and you wish you could spend it with your family. Luke and the band try to cheer you up (super fluffy).

Requested?: Nope

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

A/n: This kinda came out of nowhere and once I had the idea I got carried away. I hope y'all like it!!

For you birthdays were a big thing when you were alive. You and your family would always go on a camping trip and have the time of your lives together. It wasn’t just limited to your family either, it was open to your friends too. It was your favorite tradition.

When you had met Luke, you had been looking forward to inviting him and the band, but then the fateful night at the Orpheum had happened. You and the rest of the band had died that night, now it was twenty-twenty and you were ghosts.

It had been great meeting Julie and forming a band with her, but as your birthday rolled around you were feeling immensely sad. Like Luke you had visited their family and you had seen them preparing to go on the camping trip in your honor. While it made you happy to see them keeping up the tradition, it also felt like a stab to the heart that you couldn’t be there with them.

In the days leading up to your birthday you had grown quiet and more reserved, struggling to find the energy to be happy. You couldn’t visit your family anymore, it just made you cry, but knowing that they were camping and you couldn’t be there also made you cry. It was a lose-lose.

So you had spent most of your time at the beach, watching the ocean and letting it calm you. There was something so relaxing about the way the waves moved and the push and pull of the tide. It was also nice to have privacy, just the crashing waves to keep you company.

It was inevitable that the band would notice your mood and absence of course, and notice they did.

You were at the beach, watching the ocean like normal. It was admittedly a beautiful day for your birthday. The sun was just breaking through the marine layer, creating bright orange patterns on the clouds.

Luke poofed in beside you, startling you out of your sad thoughts. The two of you had been dating since you got the band together and he was always there to comfort you.

“Hey,” he said, wrapping an arm around you. You sniffed in return.

“You didn’t think I would forget what today is, did you?” He asked, giving a small smile.

“No,” you answered, smiling a little bit.

“Good,” he stood up in front of you and grabbed your hands. “You are amazing and you are so great and understanding when it comes to me missing my parents, now it’s my turn to help you with your grief.”

You didn’t have time to respond before you felt the cold sand disappear from beneath you. The world shifted to new surroundings, ones that you definitely did not recognize.

“Luke?” You asked, letting go of his hand. You weren’t exactly in the mood for any surprises at the moment.

Luke moved back to standing in front of you. “Trust me on this, okay?”

He took your hand again and led you down a path. You looked around, trying to find anything that would clue you into where you were.

You slowly began to recognize your surroundings and you stopped walking. “What’s wrong?” Luke asked, stopping with you once he realized you weren’t moving.

“Luke, I-I’ve already visited, seeing them just makes me even sadder.”

“That isn’t why we’re here, Y/n/n. I’ve got a completely unrelated surprise for you.”

You hesitantly began to walk and Luke gave you an encouraging smile. “You are going to have a great day today. I promise.”

You gave him a weak and slightly nervous smile as you followed him. You walked over a hill and what you saw made you smile for real.

Julie and her family were setting up a campsite while the rest of the band and Flynn helped. After the whole Caleb fiasco Julie had let her family in on the ghostly little secret.

“Happy Birthday!” Luke exclaimed, gesturing excitedly at everyone.

“Happy Birthday, Y/n!” Everyone called, though Flynn, Carlos, Victoria, and Ray were a little late since they didn’t see your arrival.

You smiled at your found family. “Guys, this is so sweet.”

“Oh, this isn’t everything,” Reggie said excitedly. “Wait till you see what else we have planned.”

For the first time in a while, you forgot your grief and excitement replaced it. “I can’t wait.”

~~~~

After a few incredibly fun activities, you made it back to your campsite. The sun was still up and you had a while before everyone would eat dinner.

Still hyped up you had a lot of energy and you didn’t know if you could just sit around and chat or play cards. Thankfully Carlos suggested a game of Ultimate frisbee and once the words were out of his mouth, Reggie was chanting it to. You were definitely up for a game and from there, teams were formed.

It was you, Julie, and Alex versus Luke, Reggie, Flynn, and Carlos. You may or may not have specifically engineered it to have Alex on your team, him being the tallest gave an advantage.

You took on Luke. He smirked at you as Alex threw the frisbee to Julie and Flynn intercepted. You rolled your eyes and saw Flynn get ready to throw the frisbee at Carlos. Julie was trying to guard her and Alex was on Reggie, so in a split second you ran over to Carlos. You knew you were faster than Luke so you’d be able to get to Carlos and catch the frisbee first and fortunately you were right.

You intercepted and Luke tried to guard you, giving you a pouty face when Alex caught your throw. You smirked at him, running past Alex to the area near your goal. You had barely stopped running when Alex tossed the frisbee back to you. Luke was almost to you and Julie was open. You threw it to her and smiled as she caught it, scoring a point.

“We’ll get it next time,” Luke called running off towards his team's end of the field.

“Sure!” You called back, a bright smile on your face. However, Luke was right, his team scored the next two times and your team scored the last time before dinner, leaving you at a tie.

You all made your way back to the campsite and you ghosts sat down while the ‘lifers’ got their food.

“It was interesting seeing the frisbee get caught in midair.” Ray chuckled as he took his seat, almost sitting in Reggie before Julie warned him.

“Yes, I’m glad you were having fun,” Victoria said, patting Julie. You smiled at the gesture, trying not to feel sad about your own aunts.

Dinner was full of fun chatting and Julie translating for you and the guys. After dinner the guys got their instruments out and began to sing ‘happy birthday’ to you. You sang along so everyone could see you and it turned into an impromptu concert.

As the sun disappeared and the stars came out, you and your found family sang, enjoying the moment. You would definitely treasure these memories for years to come.

After you finished singing Luke came over to you. “Just close your eyes for a second,” he said, grinning at you like an excited puppy. You did what he asked, though rather reluctantly.

“Guys, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“We wanted to,” Alex said.

You heard a lot of shuffling right in front of you and eventually Luke spoke. “Okay, open your eyes.”

In front of you was a small pile of gifts. “Guys-“

Luke cut you off before you could protest any further, “Stop, you deserve all of this and more. And don’t say you feel bad for not doing more for our birthdays, I know how long it takes you to knit those scarves.”

“Fine,” you smiled. “Which one first?”

“Ooo! Open mine!” Reggie begged, pointing at a cleanly wrapped box.” You unwrapped it, careful to make sure none of the trash went anywhere, and gasped at what you were holding. It was an incredibly detailed and beautiful sketch of a horse.

“Reggie, did you draw this?”

He nodded. “And it’s got the first country song we wrote together on it.”

You beamed at him. “We’ll get that country album some day,” you vowed, gently nudging Luke when he rolled his eyes.

“Mine next,” Alex requested, pointing to an even more elaborately wrapped box. You opened it to see Alex had decorated your old guitar strap, painting it with your favorite colors. You had been meaning to do that since you got it and you were grateful he had taken the initiative.

“I love it.”

“Good, I’m not that artistic so I didn’t know what to get you and then I remembered that you had been meaning to decorate your guitar strap since you got it, so I did it,” Alex rambled.

You laughed. “How very thoughtful of you.”

You turned your attention back to the rest of the stack, but Luke was already ready. “Here’s mine.”

“You took the small package from him and opened it. Inside was a little box and in that there was a necklace. The pendant was an old guitar pick branded with the sunset curve logo and with it was a little card in Luke’s messy handwriting: A memento of the band we started all those years ago.

“I think I’m gonna cry.” You put your hand to your mouth and Luke took the necklace from the box, putting it on you.

“I love you so much,” Luke whispered to you.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, kissing his cheek.

After admiring the necklace for a little while longer, you went to open the rest of the pile. Julie got you a gift card so you could shop together(you still only had your clothes from the nineties). Ray gave you a framed photograph of you guys at the garage party singing Edge of Great and Carlos got you a ball of yarn. Even Victoria even got you a little candle that you absolutely adored and Flynn got you a bracelet that matched one that she and Julie were wearing.

“Guys, these are all so great, I can’t thank you enough! You better bet I’ll be stepping it up for your guys’ birthdays.”

“Looking forward to it,” Carlos said, after Julie repeated what you said. He turned to his left and smiled at you and you laughed, you were sitting more to his right.

“Tell him that I can’t wait,” you requested and Julie obliged.

While she did that you got up and hugged everyone you could. “Guys, this could not have been a better day.”

“It’s not over yet. We have one last gift for you!” Reggie said excitedly and you smiled brightly, tears of joy forming in your eyes.

“You guys didn’t have to,” you protested, blushing at the kindness they had been showing you. “You’ve already done so much for me.”

“Yes we did.” Julie sat down next to you and Luke sat on the other side, with an arm around you while Reggie and Alex leaned in behind you. You tilted your head as Julie turned on her phone and went to her camera roll.

You were about to ask what was going on when she played a video. Julie and the guys appeared on screen and you saw that they were standing outside the garage.

“Happy Birthday, Y/n!” They all yelled and you smiled, expecting them to do a little birthday recording of a song for you, but instead of getting their instruments Luke spoke.

“We noticed how sad you were about your parents and we had this idea...” with that the screen shifted.

You were only more confused when you recognized the inside of your parents house. It was easy to tell that the camera was filming from just inside your old kitchen. You watched curiously as Julie and your parents stepped into the frame.

“If you could say one thing to her, what would you say?” Julie asked and you realized she was talking about you.

Your mom sniffed, tears in her eyes. “I’d let her know how much I love her and how proud we are of her. I just wish we could tell her that. She was so talented, I just wish she could have lived her dream.”

Tears welled in your eyes at what your mom said, but they started falling when your dad spoke. “I’d wish her a happy birthday and tell her that I wish she could come camping with us. We kept up our tradition and I just wish she could know how much she meant-means to us. We missed out on so much with her and though we can’t get it back I hope she knows that we love her with all of our hearts.”

The video faded into a slideshow of some pictures of you, and in the background Now or Never was playing.

A good majority of the old pictures were taken during your camping trips and it was interesting to see how you had grown. When you were twelve, guitars began to appear in the pictures and there were quite a few ones of you playing around a campfire. Everyone was laughing in those, and it made you smile to remember when they were taken.

After the pictures of your family, they faded to pictures of you with the guys. There was even one of your first gig, you recalled that your mom had taken it. Your parents had been so excited for you. You had always felt so lucky to have such supportive parents.

From there, there were the newest pictures, ones of you with Julie and even some from your current camping trip that she must have added at the last minute.

After the last picture faded away you immediately grabbed all of your friends into a group hug. You couldn’t believe they had done this for you. You felt so unbelievably honored and touched.

You sniffed. “Guys, how did you do this?”

“Well, Alex, Reggie, and I got most of the pictures, we used some cameras to sneak them,” Luke explained.

“Yeah, it was not easy. I can’t count the number of times your parents almost saw the floating cameras,” Reggie said and you laughed.

You turned to Julie. “It means the world to me that you got my parents to say that. How?”

“I told them that I was trying to get to know the old band that had once practiced in my garage and from there they told me everything.” You hugged the girl tightly.

“I can’t begin to explain how much this means to me.” You opened your mouth to explain more, but nothing came out. “Just...this is...wow, guys. I-I just, thank you? I don’t know, thank you doesn’t sound like enough.”

“You don’t have to explain, Y/n, we’re just glad you liked it,” Alex said.

“After this, I’m gonna make sure you guys have great birthdays too.” Some more tears fell. “I just, wow.”

“So you liked it?” Luke asked and you beamed at him.

“I loved it.”

****

Tada, I hope y'all enjoyed this! Once I started writing it bloomed into this and I'm happy with what it came out to be. It's also been a while since I played frisbee, so sorry if the rules are wrong. Anyways, I loved writing this and I hope y'all have a fantastically safe and wonderful day/night!

Also if you want me to do more gender neutral fics just let me know, I only do she/her because that's what I’m most comfortable with, but please let me know if you want they/them on more stuff. I want to make this blog inclusive.

P.S. I am open to requests, but I won't get to them until after Halloween :) Please check my blog for the pinned post before requesting.

P.P.S. if you want to be on my taglist for all things Julie and the Phantoms, feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn’t.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #048

(from yesterday, my b)

Do you drink more or less water than is recommended? Way, WAAAAAAY less. I drink practically none; I'm literally only alive because of the water in food, haha. Do you like taking walks? Sigh, I used to love walking. In my school years back when we lived in the woods, I would walk outside usually at night with my iPod for literally hours on end. I seriously worn down a path in my front yard at night, back yard during the day. Now just walking to the bathroom directly beside my room is incredibly painful because of muscle atrophy. Do you remember The Land Before Time movies? Who was your favourite character? Oh god, of course, I was OBSESSED. I even had a computer game based on it. Littlefoot was my favorite. It's even a possibility that I'll get a tree star tattoo in remembrance of my mom when she passes. Are you one of those people who texts back instantly? Usually, yes. Assuming money wasn’t an issue, what car would buy right now, given the chance? Ugh, I wish. Whatever Mom wants; I don't need my own car. It'd be a fucking dream come true if I could get a nice, new car for my mother. What she has now is hanging on by an actual goddamn thread. Do you think going to college/university is the best option after you’ve left school? This varies person-to-person. Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No, that shit is way too overpriced. I don't know how big their undergarments go, either, but I highly doubt they reach my size. Do you have a large dog? We have literally the smallest breed of dog, haha. Mom's not a massive fan of small dogs, but Cookie just worked for us. Have you ever been to Europe? No, but I'm going to Germany one day. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? Love 'em. When was the last time you bitched someone out? Idr. I actually think the only time I truly did that was on this one occasion with my sister's fucking abusive ex-boyfriend. Maybe. "Bitched out" implies being aggressive and merciless to me and Dustin fucking got it, idk about anyone else. What does your ex look like? "The" ex is your average height for a guy I think, an olive sort of tan with his Italian blood, underweight (even though he could EAT this mf never gained a goddamn pound), brown eyes, thin black hair (though in some light it looked more dark brown) that was kinda long for a guy, and last I saw a picture of him, he had a full (but not necessarily long) beard and mustache. What is your heritage? German, Irish, and Polish. We don't know Dad's side, though, other than his last name being Irish. Is your best friend a virgin? No. For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy? Ugh... that would be life-changing but I just really don't think I could. I hate my body so, so much. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? Probably not, because I'd be very depressed. My brain is very bad at confusing boredom for depression, so. Have you ever used your parents’ credit card before? Not without their express permission. Are you afraid of plane rides? Not especially. Turbulence can make my heart speed up for a bit, but I'm not terrified. Have you ever made a turkey dinner all by yourself? Hell no. Do you have a gay friend? Yep. How many sex partners have you had? Names? Well I didn't/haven't gone "all the way" with either of them, but I've had two sexual partners, Jason and Girt. I guess maybe Sara, but to be totally honest I'm not sure if I'd count her here. Nowhere near on the level of the other two. Do you ever feel like people get tired of you? Oh god yes. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Nope. I feel too strongly and am just too expressive of it at like all times. Would you rather sleep for 3 days, or stay awake for 3 days? Eugh... I guess stay awake for three days again, even though last time I did that it had a very negative affect on my body. My nightmares are just SO frequent nowadays that THREE STRAIGHT DAYS of sleeping with those going on... oh god kill me. Whose bedroom were you in last? Besides mine, Mom's. Are you watching TV? What’s on? No; I don't even have a TV in my room. Ever made out on a rooftop? Can't say I have. Would you date anyone you met online? Probably not again, but who knows. Have you ever made your parents cry? Mom, oh yes. Sadly. I THINK the night I called Dad and made up after the divorce, his voice was shaking/kinda choked, but I don't know if he was tearing up or anything. If the last person you kissed invited you to a family dinner, would you go? Of course. Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? I don't know, but I want to in a rare instance. Did you sleep alone the last two nights? Yeah; well, if you're only counting human company. My cat cuddles with me pretty much every night, haha. Are you dressing up as anything for Halloween? Idk. Most likely not. Have you met the last person you kissed’s parents? Mom, yes. Dad's dead. Who is the first person you see in the mornings? Mom, seeing as she's the only one I live with. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you? Yep. Are you one of those people who just don’t care? God no, I care too much. I mean, about most things. When is the next time you will kiss someone? I absolutely hate questions that assume I'm a psychic. But if things go the way I want them to, the moment Girt next steps through my doorway, whenever that'll be since he's kinda sick. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? Jason. Do you have a secret life? I guess you could say that, as hardcore of a secret I keep me being an RPer ss. Who was the last person to call you baby? Girt. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? omg yes I FUCKING HATE when people leave their goddamn shopping carts randomly about the parking lot. I can barely walk and I'm not even that fucking lazy. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? There's no way. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do? Is my mom out? If so, get Roman out, then Venus. I hate hate hate picking between them, like I want them both out IMMEDIATELY, but... Who was the last person you shared a bed with? Girt. Where was the furthest place you traveled? Illinois. Do you like mustard? Yes. Do you look like your mom or dad? I've heard both, idk. How long does it take you in the shower? Not even 10 minutes. Can you do splits? Hell no. Was your mom a cheerleader? Oh god I could NEVER picture her as one. I don't think she played any kind of sport growing up, but I could be wrong. Do you like Care Bears? I think they're cute, but that's the extent of it. Do you wear your seatbelt? Yes, WEAR YOUR GODDAMN SEATBELT. My own sister would be dead without one. Seatbelt burns ARE worth your fucking life. Anything big ever happen in your town? Maybe? I dunno. Nothing THAT big. Is your tongue pierced? Not anymore. :( It was damaging my teeth. Snake eyes were my favorite piercing I've ever had, though, they were SO cute. Ever been to L.A.? No. Whose house did you last spend the night at besides your own? Sara's. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No, thank fucking god. Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom mirror? Ha, yeah. Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them? Lmao hi, Rachel. Sara was once this situation too, but we're not friends now. What are you listening to right now? "Cowboy" by Lindemann. What’s worse: a headache or a stomach ache? STOMACH. I CANNOT handle stomach pain. Have you ever drank sweet tea? Did you like it? Living where I do, of course I've tried it, it's like, THE staple drink here, but I hate it to the point I refuse to drink it. Anybody ever tell you that “you could do so much better” about a person? I feel like someone mighta said this about Jason at some point... Have you ever kissed an ex after you two have broken up? No. When was the last time you talked to your most recent ex? Months ago. Ever kissed someone who smokes? No; someone who smokes kissed ME, but I went full statue. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seat? I STRONGLY prefer window. I've actually noticed that while taking off and getting the plane in position and all, I get fairly dizzy if I can't see outside/the surroundings. Do you ever wear boots with skinny jeans? UGH I used to love wearing my tall, leather black boots with them in high school, like that was THE LOOK, but I don't wear jeans anymore. Have you ever showered with someone? Only as a child. Are you racist to any race? Nope. What are/would you like to go to college for? I'm never going back to college. I dropped out three times; I can't afford to keep doing that. What kind of tea do you prefer? None. Have you ever intentionally hurt an animal? I've given like dogs a mild pop when misbehaving and shit, but nothing beyond that. I never would. Have you ever read all night long? I don't believe I have, actually, but maybe. Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. Y'know, I've never even been to a hotel with an s/o. Have you ever peed in the woods? I'm quite certain no. I remember I really, really needed to once when fishing on the boat with my dad and sister, but I'm pretty sure I didn't/wasn't able. What’s your favorite love movie? The Notebook. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No. Magazines have never been my thing. What kind of mom are you? Not one. Where are you ticklish? Like... everywhere. What hurts your feelings more than anything else? Probably calling me weak. Do you believe you’ve had a past life? No. Has a family member ever hit you? My mom has with the excuse of "spanking" when growing up. When you look back, do you think your life story will be a good one? Who fuckin' knows. Ever had any drug addictions? No. Do you have any anniversaries coming up? With Girt in less than a month, yeah. Who is the most shallow person you know? *shrug* What was your first intimate experience with a person? That woulda been with Jason in high school, but if I'm being completely honest, I can't really remember the first time we went beyond making out, oddly enough. Like I remember a lot, just... not the first. Did you ever play Frogger when you were a kid? BITCH I LOVED THAT GAME. I sucked at it except for the first level, but it sure was fun, haha. When were you at your lowest in your life so far? When my first real boyfriend Jason left me and I was in a constant state of literally wanting to die for over a year.

[lauwrite1225]

Somebody to die for.

Finan x OC; The Old Guard inspired Alternative Universe

Summary : Victoria's life is rather simple until she has a car accident from which she ends up miraculously unscathed. A series of weird events animates her daily life, everything seemingly bringing her to a strange man. Until this very man knocks at her door.

Spotify Playlist • Masterlist

A/N : And there it is, the first chapter of this fic I have been working on for a few weeks now! I'll post every Friday! A very BIG thank you too @maggiescarborough​ for all her precious help and thanks to whom this is story is way better than originally ahah!

Warnings : mention of blood and death

Chapter 1 : I'm fallin' so I'm takin' my time on my ride

“Vicky you shouldn’t drive home so late.”

Victoria sighs as she climbs down the few stairs from her parents’ house down to the garden, her mother following her close. It’s dark and the motion detector activates the outdoor light, making the little path leading to where she parked her car more visible. 

“Stay for the night at least, you can leave early.” Her mother insists, arms crossed upon her chest to protect herself from the cold.

“I can’t mom.” She unlocks her car, throwing her bag on the passenger seat before turning around and leaning against the door. “I have to open the shop tomorrow and I don’t want to be late if there’s too many people on the road.” 

“That’s not safe, Vicky.”

“Come on, mom, it’s not the first time I’m driving during the night.” She exhales, sitting in the car and starting it. “I’ll text you when I’m home.” She smiles, ignoring her mother’s eye roll and closing the door. 

She slowly drives away from her parents' house, an old house lost in the middle of Essex. Her mother wasn't wrong about the risk of driving during the night on country roads, but Vicky took this road so many times, she's not really worried. She turns on the radio and turns the sound up when she recognizes the melody of Ride by Twenty one Pilots. Her fingers tap the steering wheel in rhythm with the drum, her head nodding regularly. She knows that song by heart and can't resist singing the lyrics as she drives in the direction of London. 

After half an hour of driving, a heavy rain is now falling, Vicky starts to regret not having listened to her mother. She woke up early this morning to be in time for the family lunch her parents have been harassing her about for a month. She yawns, her hand passing through her blond hair as she drives on a small quite deserted road. She tries to turn up the music louder to not fall asleep, but inevitably, her head starts to nod and her eyelids grow heavier. She closes her eyes, just one second, but when she opens them again, she’s blinded by the headlights of another car in front of her. Panicked, she hits the brake with all her strength, a slew of insults escaping her lips. The person in the vehicle in front seems to do the same and swerves. But inevitably, the two cars meet and the shock makes Vicky’s head hit the steering wheel violently.

For a long moment, it’s just darkness and silence and Victoria finds it awkwardly peaceful. She feels weak and out of her body, the strangest feeling she has ever felt. She can’t tell how long she’s been that way but suddenly it vanishes. She’s overwhelmed by all her senses who awaken at the same time. She panics, the feeling of her heart beating resounding in her whole body and the air painfully filling her lungs. She abruptly opens her eyes, straightening until the back of her head hits the car seat. 

It takes her a few minutes to calm her breath and to realize where she is, morning’s light blinding her. She’s still in her car, the windshield broken in a million pieces dispersed everywhere. She quickly notices the blood on the steering wheel and her clothes and immediately she brings her fingers to her forehead and indeed she finds fresh blood, but no wound. It should have reassured her, however it horrifies her. She tries to open the door and has to force it to finally leave the car. In the process, she falls on the floor and crawls to move away from the vehicle. The sleeves of her shirt are torn and stained with blood, but again, she’s perfectly healthy. Her confusion makes her sick and she leans on a side to throw up, her whole body shaking with a long thrill. 

Once her stomach is emptied she starts to look around her, now that there’s daylight she is able to see the fields that expand as far as the eye can see. She’s alone on this road, with her car with smoke coming out of the hood and absolutely no sign of the other vehicle. She stands on her feet, her legs shaking, and walks a little further to see if there’s anyone.

“They fucking left me alone.” She grumbles as she realizes she really was utterly alone. 

She walks back to her car and grabs her bag and jacket before searching her phone. When she finally has a hand on it, she sighs of relief. Though it doesn’t last long as she discovers how the screen is cracked. 

“New car and new phone it is, then.” Victoria speaks to herself, more to try to stay calm than anything. Fortunately, it’s still working but she realises right after that there's no signal. “Obviously.”

She looks around her one last time before facing the facts, she has to walk back home. She fills her bag with the important papers stacked in her car before walking away. After a quarter hour of walking, she starts to recognize where she is and estimates she should arrive in a village in another quarter hour. This time alone gives her the occasion to try to understand what happened last night. She obviously got into a car accident and the other person involved let her on her own, didn't even try to search for help, it is morning now, in six hours at least, if they left to find help, they should have already been back. No, they left her on her own as if she was dead. 

Victoria stops, the thought troubling her. She can't explain what she felt after the accident, she has already fainted a few times in her life, and it has never been like this before. But what is even more troubling, is that she's perfectly healthy, not even a scratch despite the blood she found on her clothes and in the car. Nothing is making sense.

She covers her face with both of her hands, then rubs her eyes as waking up from a bad dream. But she's still in the middle of a road, in the middle of nowhere. 

“What the hell?!” She shouts, frustrated by so much incomprehension. 

She continues to walk, she wipes the blood from her face before she reaches the village and puts her jacket on to hide the state of her clothes. She has no idea of what happened and she definitely doesn't want to have to explain it to anyone. She finishes her way home with public transports, and it's past midday when she arrives in London. She gets a few messages, from her boss and even more from her mother. She sends excuses to her boss with a lie and another lie to her mother, saying she fell asleep and forgot to text her before. 

Once she's in her small flat, she rushes to the shower after throwing her clothes in the washer. She stays at least an hour under the water, her mind playing the past events over and over until she's upset again. When she steps out of the shower, she’s starving. So she grabs the first thing she finds in her fridge, which happens to be the leftovers of her lunch from two days ago. She tries to remain distracted, turning on the TV and starting an episode of Game of Thrones, her best friend Rebecca has been harassing for a month to start watching the show. And for a brief hour, she’s captivated by the Battle of Bastards, and by how good looking Kit Harrington is in armor. 

The rest of the day is uneventful and when Rebecca visits her later in the afternoon Victoria hesitates to talk to her about her accident. But she’s pretty sure she’d simply think her completely crazy. 

“Are you alright, Vicky?” Rebecca eventually asks when she hands her a cup of tea. 

Victoria smiles kindly. “Yes.” She’s not used to lying to her best friend. They have known each other since middle school and she could count the number of times she lied to her on one hand, one being for her surprise birthday for her 18th birthday. “Why are you asking?”

She sits next to her friend on the couch, bringing her own cup of tea to her lips to blow on it. “I don’t know you’re very silent. And you said you weren’t feeling good this morning.”

“Oh… Well it was nothing, just felt nauseous.”

Rebecca narrows her dark eyes but doesn't push further. “How were your parents?” She asks, changing the subject, much to Vicky's pleasure.

“They were fine.” She takes a long sip of her tea. “They wondered if you'd like to come for dinner one day.”

Rebecca grins, her parents have always been pretty fond of her, even proposing her to join family events. It never bothered Victoria who was happy to have a friend with her. “Of course, I'll come. I just need a date.”

“I'll text you.”

Rebecca leaves after dinner and as soon as the door is closed Vicky falls into her bed, exhausted. She doesn't have time to overthink as usually when she tries to find sleep, she finds Morpheus' arms the moment she closes her eyes. But her sleep is far from being peaceful, her dreams bringing her sometime in the Middle Age, judging by the clothes of the men surrounding her. She's in the middle of a fight opposing warriors with long hair and tattooed faces and others with more modest appearance, only a fire alighting the area. She looks around her, trying to understand the scene, but her vision is almost constantly brought back to one of the warriors. It's a tall man, wearing leather armor above a greenish tunic, with dark hair and beard. He is using his sword with such ability, his movements swift and precise, Vicky can't help but be impressed. From the corner of her eyes she can see men falling and how trees seem to delimit a clearing. She looks up to the sky and can see the stars shining in the sky, never before she has seen them so clearly. Then, a sound catches her attention and she's staring at the warrior again. He is not fighting anymore, frozen and his face twisting into a grimace. She looks down to his abdomen in sync with him and she gasps as she sees the sword coming out of his belly. And it's like she can feel all his pain as the sword leaves his body, her guts tearing apart. The man coughs blood, falling on his knees, his hands pressed on the gaping hole in his abdomen. He finishes his fall, head first in the mud and Victoria can feel the life leaving his body as the man takes his last breaths, his brown eyes looking into the void. 

Victoria wakes up abruptly, sweating and panting. She presses a hand on her chest, desperately trying to calm her breath. Once she's calmed she pours herself a cup of water, still haunted by the sensation of her dream or maybe nightmare. She doesn't find sleep after that, so she just lies on her couch, watching TV, until morning comes and the hour she has to leave for work. 

It's only the first night of a dozen as sleepless. Most of the time, she finds herself in the Middle Age, in various places, some faces regularly appearing. Sometimes she's in other periods, even in modern days. But the common point to all her dreams is this man. Each time she can see him more clearly, his thick hair is most of the time cut short around his ears, a scar slashing his forehead while two small others are ornamenting his left cheekbone. One day, she decides to draw him, she spends the afternoon on it, but she's determined to make it as realistic as possible. As the lines darken the paper, she realizes how the man reminds her of someone. She sends the drawing to Rebecca without much explanation and she immediately replies to her that he reminds her of the guy from the conspiracy theory video they watched one late night. 

Victoria takes the time to search the video in her browser history, and indeed, Rebecca was right. The man is the spitting portrait of the one called the “time traveler”. She watches the video with probably much more interest than the first time, desperate to understand why he is haunting her nights. That's clearly the least credible story she has ever heard: a man, the same man, captured in pictures at different places and at different periods of time. A guy talented with photoshop could perfectly create this whole theory. She sighs, closing her laptop and just comes to the conclusion that her brain registered the man's face when she watched the video with Rebecca and simply has a fixation on it since. 

Curious to know the origins of the other faces she can see in her dreams, she draws them as well and she finds herself with three other men. The younger looking is blond with a bowl cut, a long face and an endearing smile. The two others look much more like warriors, one has long hair tied and shaved on the sides, his eyes a piercing blue, the other has different colour eyes and a tattoo covering the side of his neck. Once again, she sends her drawings to Rebecca but this time she has no idea of where she could have seen them. 

Days pass, the dreams don't fade but Victoria forgets about her accident and all the strange things that happened, until the police call her. Obviously, her car had to be found as she didn't call anyone to take care of it, she just wanted to forget what happened. She tries to give the best explanation to the police, telling them she's alright and shock made her forget to deal with her broken vehicle. After an hour on the phone they finally let her alone, adding that if she wanted to file a complaint there would probably not be a lot of results. She just replies that she will think of it, when in fact she won't at all.

As things couldn’t get weirder, one afternoon she meets an odd customer at the bookshop she’s been working for years now. She doesn’t notice him particularly, until she feels like he is staring at her behind his sunglasses. She tries to ignore him, but can’t resist staring back. He is wearing a grey sweatshirt, the hood covering his hair, but at the color of his beard she guesses it’s as dark. There’s something familiar to him and decided to understand what his problem with her is, she fully turns to face him. 

“Can I help you?”

The man seems to freeze, his hands sinking in the pockets of his trousers. He lowers his head and reads the badge with Victoria’s name on her jacket. He looks back to her and this time she raises an eyebrow, her arms crossing over her chest. 

“No that’s alright.” He mutters with an accent she doesn’t get in the moment. “Sorry for botherin’ ya.” 

He steps back and leaves the bookshop without another word. She doesn’t move for a moment, frowning and still staring at the shop’s door. She has dealt with a thousand customers in five years of working here, sometimes extremely weird, even more than this one, however it’s him who remains stuck in her head even a few days after his visit. 

But the culmination of this month filled by weird events happens a week after the man came to the bookshop. It’s a friday, and as usual, Vicky has her free afternoon and spends it at her flat, watching the last episode of Game of Thrones while drawing. But she’s interrupted by a knock on her door. She frowns, pretty sure she expected no one to come today. The person knocks again and she gets up from her desk chair. She unlocks the door, opens it, and before she can even say “hello”, she gasps in surprise at the sight of the man standing in front of her. 

Victoria has no doubts. It’s the man from her dreams or the one theorists call the “time traveler”, standing in the corridor of her floor with a tight, uncomfortable.

A/N : A first chapter full of misteries ahah ! Don’t hesitate to comment, express your ideas regarding what could happen or whatever could happen, I’m really curious to know ahah! See you next week for some answers ;)

Tags : @maggiescarborough​ @geekandbooknerd​ @obipoelover​ @finansarms​ ; Don’t hesitate to tell me if you want to be add to the tag list of the fic!

[fangirlinglikeabus]

blue sky (doctor who)

summary: something’s been worrying victoria. the doctor wants to talk about it. jamie is very bad at pretending he has a reason to leave them alone together. (gen, general audiences; warning for internalised homophobia but it’s hopefully not too heavy and it works itself out in the end)

you’ll just have to take my word for this that this is also on other sites because last time i posted with links it didn’t show up in the tags. i’ll reblog with them later

It was a beautiful day; hot but not too hot, with a clear blue sky framing the tops of the buildings. No threat of rain whatsoever, which had pleased the Doctor when he'd first peered, cautiously, out of the TARDIS, umbrella at the ready. 'England' and 'August' were two words that placed together didn't inspire him with much confidence as to the state of the weather, but today had thankfully proved him wrong. So far, the dry spell had held.

They'd parked the TARDIS a few streets away and wandered through the town, the three of them together - Jamie, Victoria, and the Doctor - until they'd arrived at the café. The Doctor had suggested they stop for some food - lunch, he'd said, although it was probably only about eleven o'clock, local time. Something was on his mind, some reason he had for wanting to sit there rather than continue walking, only it wasn't clear what it was.  That concerned Victoria, but she tried to console herself; if it was really serious the Doctor would surely have told them already. Anyway, there were no monsters around that she could see, no aliens climbing out of the cracks in the pavement to attack them, to make this beautiful day miserable and fraught with danger, so for once maybe it wasn't anything to do with that, and they were safe.

Victoria tore her eyes away from the sights of the street - the girl about her age that she'd made eye contact with suddenly and alarmingly - to look at the Doctor. He was playing a game of patience, the cards placed haphazardly on the table in front of him. Every so often he looked up and cleared his throat loudly at Jamie, who kept leaning too far forwards, casting a shadow over the game. Each time Jamie would say 'eh?', realise what he was doing, and sit back in his seat with an embarrassed cough and a look which seemed to say, 'I'm only doing this because I want to, not because you told me to'.

It had a comforting familiarity to it, as did much of what the two of them got up to, like the friendly arguments about the Doctor's ability to fly the TARDIS, or the attempts to explain some technological development to Jamie which usually ended up with him saying 'oh, aye', his code for 'I still don't understand this, but I don't care enough to try'. The Doctor apparently hadn't managed to decipher it yet, since he still made the effort each time, and Victoria hadn't the heart to tell him.

Then again, maybe he knew, and it was just a game the two of them played, another steady part of their friendship. They'd known each other much longer than either of them had known Victoria, had rhythms and rules to their relationship, some of which she might not know about even now, and as a result of it seemed inseparable. She could barely imagine Jamie without the Doctor, or the Doctor without Jamie; they'd probably travel together for the rest of their lives, if they could.

Which just left her. Victoria.

It was easy to think she'd stay with them, with that funny little man and his Jacobite friend, in the light of the sun. They had taken her in when she was lost, and shown her kindness, and she loved them for that. But the trouble was that they weren't always in the light of the sun. They were in the London Underground, fleeing yeti - or in a future Britain in the grips of an ice age, escaping towering Martians.

Occasionally the Doctor would look up and meet her eyes, and she would glance away. There was something contemplative about his expression today, something in the way he regarded her that worried Victoria. Worried her because he seemed worried, on her behalf, and she hated the idea of concerning him unduly. Of course, it was nice to have someone care about you in that way, and she was grateful that it was the Doctor who cared for her, but it did make her feel self-conscious, especially because in this case there was really nothing to worry about. She'd talk to him about it if there was something, except for the ongoing problem of what she would do in the future, which for now she wouldn't bring up with him, because anyway she hadn't really decided what she intended to do with it or what her own feelings were yet. As he finished the card game (cheating, she was sure, backtracking on his own moves when he decided he didn't like them or when he realised he'd reached a dead end, but she didn't point it out) Victoria wracked her brains on what could possibly be bothering him about her. Her mind came up blank. Unless -

No, he couldn't possibly have noticed that. She'd hidden it from him very carefully. And if he had he would have brought it up already. Victoria was struck with a terrible vision of the Doctor looking horribly severe, all appearances of the fool or the father wiped from his face, ordering her out of the TARDIS.

She hadn't initiated it! That had been the girl - the girl they'd met a few stops ago, Liss. She'd been the one to take action, leaning in to kiss Victoria, who had fled before anything else could happen, hoping that no evidence of it appeared on her face. Maybe it had. Maybe it was a bit like that story the Doctor had referenced offhand once, about the man whose sins appeared on his face, in a portrait.

In the meantime, as her thoughts wandered down that path, the Doctor had begun to look panicked, patting down his pockets with increasing desperation.

"Oh my word!" he exclaimed finally. "I forgot to bring any money with me!" Casting around, his eyes fell on Jamie. He took on a placating tone. "Jamie, would you mind terribly if I asked you to go back to the TARDIS and fetch me something to pay the bill with?" He delivered the line very naturally, and Victoria wouldn't have suspected anything at all if Jamie hadn't then looked very deliberately between the two of them, said stiltedly, as though he was reading from a script,

"Oh, aye, I can do that,"

and moved off with the gait of someone who fully intended to take as long as humanly possible in carrying out the task he'd been set.

"Victoria," the Doctor began - almost as soon as Jamie was out of earshot, in case there was any doubt that it had been a deliberate plan between the two of them. She braced herself for the conversation to come. But then he stopped, apparently unsure of where to go from there. Victoria waited, her heart hammering away in her chest.

"Is there something on your mind?" the Doctor eventually settled on.

Victoria ran briefly through all the things that were on her mind. If she wanted to stay with Jamie and the Doctor; where she would go if she didn’t want to stay with Jamie and the Doctor; whether or not they'd be suddenly thrust into mortal peril in this nice English town; the kiss that she didn't want to think about and everything wrapped up in that; consequently, her father, who she had an uneasy feeling would have been disappointed in her, although she had no specific evidence for that because of course it would never have been something they'd have talked about together, not in a million years, not in 1866 or any date that followed in what should have been the ordinary course of her life.

"No, there's nothing," Victoria said. Nothing she could tell him, she meant. Although the Doctor was very old, and very strange, and seemed to know a lot of things that other people didn't, she couldn't imagine ever sitting down with him and explaining that a girl had kissed her, and because a girl had kissed her she was now unable to stop thinking about anything apart from whether she'd liked it, and whether she wanted to do it again, and whether she'd been like that all along or if it was some sort of disease, some sort of situation where once you'd fallen, you stayed fallen, like Adam and Eve taking a bite of the apple in the garden of Eden and being cast out forever.

She looked away from him. She didn't like to tell lies to the Doctor. In an ideal world she could have told him everything; they could always talk like they had near the very beginning, in the cybermen's tomb. But they couldn't, not with this.

Casting about for something to distract her attention, some excuse not to look at the Doctor, Victoria's eye fell on two girls walking on the other side of the street. They were making slow progress, ambling along as though they had nowhere better to be in the world and were taking joy from that. They were holding hands, swinging each other's arms back and forth while they walked.

As Victoria watched, one of them said something and the other laughed, leaning forwards for a kiss.

"Victoria?"

"Hm?" Her head jerked back towards the Doctor, as suddenly as if she'd been caught doing something criminal, not just letting her eye wander.

The Doctor didn't immediately pose the question he'd been meaning to put to her, but instead gazed after Victoria, at the two girls.

"A charming couple, aren't they?" he said, sounding pleased.

"Couple?"

"Oh yes, that sort of thing is quite normal by this period," the Doctor replied, cheerfully and entirely without artifice, as though he had no idea whatsoever how this was affecting her. "Not without some struggle, I might add, but your country sees the light in the end."

Victoria felt, suddenly, like she was about to cry. Which was silly - she hadn't even cried when her father had died, except a few times in her room, when the only people who might notice were the Doctor and Jamie if they happened to be in the vicinity, and definitely not in such a public place as this, where anyone might walk past and see her. And it was over such a small thing as well. She'd faced down monsters before, big scary hulking things, so why -

"Oh, Victoria," the Doctor said gently, fumbling in his pocket and pulling out, in turn, a pack of top trumps, tickets for Casablanca, a bag of sweets, and at last a clean white handkerchief, which he handed over to her.

That was the last straw - that small gesture, the ridiculousness of the contents of the Doctor's pockets, which now lay strewn across the table. Victoria began to sob. She buried her face in the handkerchief, hoping that no-one would hear, hoping that she would run out of tears and then she could stop feeling so miserable.

At last she recovered enough to speak. "I'm sorry," she said wretchedly. "I've ruined the nice day out you wanted for us all." But when she looked up at the Doctor he didn't seem annoyed. He smiled and reached across to pat her hand.

"That's quite alright, Victoria," he said. "It's more important to me to know that you're happy than anything else."

This threatened to make her well up again, but she composed herself. "You said - it was normal now."

"Hm?"

Victoria forced herself to go on. "Those two girls, I mean."

"Oh, yes." The Doctor was about to launch into an explanation of the history that had led up to the time period they were visiting, but he caught the expression on Victoria's face and thought better of it. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know."

She looked down at his hands; at the table; at the top trumps, a battered old set with a picture of a t-rex emblazoned on the first card and the whole thing clumsily kept together by a rubber band, which almost made her smile, it was such a Doctor-ish thing for him to carry around. "I know."

"Good." The Doctor paused, although whether to gather his own thoughts or wait for her to say something was unclear.

"There was a girl -" Victoria began, but fell silent.

The Doctor smiled encouragingly. "Go on."

"Never mind." She couldn't talk about it just yet. The Doctor had said it was fine, and she trusted him, but she was still walking on untested ground, unable to quite shake the sensation that she'd done something horrible.

The Doctor, after waiting for a few moments, said, "Naturally it will take some time for you to get used to."

"Yes," Victoria said. Her voice shook more than she wanted it to, and it came out much too quietly. She wished she could sound stronger - but then, she reminded herself, this wasn't some terrifying creature that she had to stand up to, but the Doctor, who was looking at her as a compassionate father might look at a daughter.

That brought with it another pang, and Victoria came very close to crying again.

The Doctor smiled at her, and pulled his chair closer. "Listen to me, Victoria. It will get easier. I know it might not seem like it now, but I promise you it will. Falling in love with another woman, and acting on that feeling, is no more inherently good or bad than if we were talking about the same situation with a man. It has just the same potential to bring you great happiness, if you'll let it. Do you understand me?"

Victoria nodded. She didn't yet trust herself to speak.

The Doctor smiled and patted her hand again. "Brave girl. Ah, and here's Jamie back with the money."

Victoria turned around. Sure enough, there he was, approaching the table cautiously.

"Is everything alright?" he asked once he was close enough, glancing uncertainly between the two of them.

"Oh, yes," the Doctor said, beaming, "I think everything's quite alright now, isn't it, Victoria?"

"Yes," she said, and even managed a smile of her own up at Jamie. She was surprised to realise that it was true, at least temporarily. For a moment even the worst of her worries seemed perfectly manageable in the face of the beautiful summer day. Everything was absolutely calm and normal. But then -

"Oh, Jamie, you picked up the wrong purse!"

"Well you didn't tell me what I was looking for! You just said fetch something you could pay the bill with, an' that had money in it, so -"

"But Jamie, these aren't even from the right planet!"

"An' just how was I supposed to know that? Next time you get it, an' don't go bothering me if you're going to complain -"

Well, she supposed that was normal too. Victoria started to laugh - laugh uncontrollably at the two of them, being so ridiculous over something that barely mattered. They stopped arguing with each other, shocked into indignation by her laughter.

"Now, really, Victoria, I do think that's quite unfair -" the Doctor began.

It was a beautiful day; hot but not too hot, with a clear blue sky framing the tops of the buildings.

Maybe things would work themselves out after all.

[twohearts-hs]

‘I’ll Always Be Waiting’ - Shawn Mendes Imagine

Words: 3.4k

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: They were together throughout high school, but she had to break it due to their very separate plans. He couldn’t see her leave, so he asked her to make a promise...to meet again in five years. 

|| Masterlist in bio ||

-

They were the ‘it’ couple. Every one of the small high school knew exactly who this couple was. One of the reasons was the fact that they were together throughout the whole of high school, something that doesn’t happen often. It was all just gossip that surrounds the school, but generally, everyone knew that Shawn and Y/N would never break up. There was a saying with that, “I’ll do that when Shawn and Y/N break up” or “It’s just as impossible as the golden couple breaking up”. But, the two of them never focused their lives based on the subtle whispers that surround the school, they were in love and so they lived their lives in one big love bubble.

Shawn remembers the first time he set his eyes on the beauty of mystery. It was his grade ten year and she just moved from Victoria to Pickering. He remembers hanging with his mates as she walked out of the locker room. The beauty was in his first-period gym class. He did anything that day to grab her attention. It was aggravating, seeing her run, seeing her not pay attention. He tried in dodgeball to hit the walls hard to create a noise. He did everything. But, the shy beauty didn’t bat an eye to him.

It was an hour into class when he did something that till this day, he regrets. Y/N was talking to a friend, who was a boy, and Shawn decided to grab her attention once again, by hitting this boy. He didn’t like how he looked at her, like a piece of meat, when all she wanted was a humble conversation.

But, being his clumsy self, he hit her, “Oh my God, I am so sorry,” he rushed right towards her, as Y/N held her face. Tears hit her delicate eyes as Shawn stood in front of him.

“It’s ok, it is all part of the game,” she mumbled looking at the tall boy in front of her. He smiled, doing something so out of there.

He grabbed her hand gently and took it off her face. “You need to ice that,” he mumbled, “it looks painful,” she laughed, nodding.

“You have a powerful throw,” she told him, smiling so beautifully.

“Of course I do, look at these guns,” she laughed and instantly that laugh was the medicine needed to cure everything.

The two got close, him being in her science class. It started with them being partners in gym and him teaching her the rules to every game to her helping him with biology, chemistry and physics. Which created Y/N to go over to his house. Eventually, the two created a bond by October. By November they were a couple.

He was hilarious, she learnt right away, the humour too powerful for her to understand. But, he used that humour wherever he could, so he could hear that laugh of her’s. Their first date was a disaster. Y/N remembers that day so clearly. He invited her over for dinner. Shawn liked her so much that he was putting more than a hundred percent into it. He created a candlelit dinner and tried to cook Kraft dinner, as that was the only thing he could cook. The key word from that was ‘try’. He burnt it, as they were making out on the counter of the kitchen. Her legs were wrapped around his hips as his arms were on her hips. The makeout session was so hot that he burnt the pasta that sat in the pot, ready to go.

Before that, she laughed about how he was going to make her this absolute gourmet dish...when reality it was quite the opposite. Instead, she jumped off the counter, kissed his cheek and he watched as she made him dinner.

Y/N was so good at everything, she went into his pantry and grabbed a few boxes of pasta and went to the fridge and grabbing some things and made this gorgeous white sauce pasta. He was in awe...no he was in love.

Their night was so innocent, stolen kisses shared as he played her his guitar and makeout sessions out on the patio. His mother knew not to interrupt, so she left them to it.

Karen loves that girl, still does after they decided to split. She remembers meeting the future teacher and the minute she heard Y/N’s voice, she knew her son had to marry her, even though they were both 16. She was perfect. But, she did see something that she wishes she didn’t.

They were seventeen when she walked into them having sex. Karen walked in thinking her son was doing homework, when she really saw him on top of his girlfriend, under covers, completely naked. Shawn got all blushy and told his mum to get out. Y/N was not as embarrassed, but laughed, kissing her boyfriend as he rolled off.

“The moment is ruined,” he muttered. She laughed and got dressed and walked downstairs where she was welcomed to a lot of questions by Karen.

“I know you two are seventeen and responsible but-”

“Mum,” Shawn tried to interrupt, but she kept going on about protection.

“Karen, it's ok,” Y/N stated, sitting in the dining room and smiling, “I have an IUD,” she told her as Shawn was too embarrassed to mutter a word. “It's not our first rodeo, we’ve been doing this since we were sixteen,” she told her, grabbing a glass of water.

Karen still knew after that that she was still the one.

Y/N was the start for everything. She told Shawn to go onto YouTube and to write an album. She believed in him. She was also the muse for everything.

But, when he broke the news that he was going on tour again, but for longer and how many opportunities he has, Y/N had to break it with him. She knew the second album would be a hit and she knew that it was best if they took a break as he has the world in his hands and she has school in the U.K. to look forward too.

So, she asked Shawn right before the album dropped to meet her in the forest by her house. She sat on the rock by the small river trying to figure out the words to say. How do you break up with the love of your life? Y/N just turned eighteen, she was an adult, she had a future. Shawn was much more, he was making millions, had fans, doing what he loves. She was an obstacle, in her eyes.

Shawn thought that they were going to go on a date by the river, kiss a little, dance and be themselves. He brought her a rose like he normally did. But, when he saw his girlfriend sitting and watching the river, he knew something was wrong.

He held her hands as she looked down, playing with his fingers and trying to figure out the words.

“Shawn, you’re about to go away,” he knew where this was going to go, he shook his head violently, not wanting her to say the words she was going to say, “you have the whole world in front of you. You are travelling, you are singing, you are doing so much. I have to go to university and I think it is best—”

“No, no, Y/N. No, we can do this. You are going to the local university and I’ll be home soon. I have been looking at a place for us, baby, we are meant to be together. We are gonna get married, have kids,” he muttered, rambling his words.

“I got accepted to the university in London, Shawn,” she told him. He looked at her with a puzzled look.

“What? What university?” he was so confused.

“I did a scholarship thing just for giggles and I got accepted. I am going to be a writer, you are a musician. We are going two separate paths, Shawnie. We can’t be together anymore, honey. If we are supposed to be together forever, then we’ll see each other again, somewhere on our paths,” she stated, getting up and looking at him.

“Y/N, you can’t do this,” she shook her head, still holding his hand as she tried to let go.

“This is me breaking up with you, Shawn,” he looked at her with a blank look.

What ended up was Shawn muttered a sentence and it was impossible to not agree. “One more time, you and me, one more time. Then, five years from now, on this day, at this time, we are going to meet here and we will either be ready to be together or we learnt we aren't supposed to be together,” she agreed.

What they meant for “one more time” was bluntly sex. They were two horny teenagers after all. So they went to his car and had passionate car sex one more time. Then she was gone, and gone for a long time.

Y/N went on and moved to London where she studied her dream and became a journalist for ‘The Times’. Shawn sold out stadiums after stadiums. But, after that night they never talked again.

Shawn went home in tears, first heartbreak and hopefully last. Karen knew that this wasn’t the end of them, but she had to let her son feel what this felt like, learn from it and move on with someone else for the time being.

He did the tour, he took a break and wrote his third album, which was all about her. He unadded her from every social media, he couldn’t bear looking at her summer adventures or spring break trips. Brian would show some pictures, but he’d be in a bad mood for the rest of night, as Y/N would be with another man in the picture. He was territorial when it came to things that are his and this was one situation.

He lived as though Y/N never existed. He fucked girls one after another and she was nowhere to be seen. One moment she was in London, according to Facebook on Brian’s phone, then she was in Barcelona, then Ibiza, etc.; she was unpredictable.

The minute his third album came out, she knew that it was mostly based on her, just like how the few songs on the last one were about her too. The roses on the album cover were because her favourite flower was a rose. ‘Nervous’ was how he stalked this one café because she used to study there. ‘Fallin’ All In You’ was about their relationship and ‘Particular Taste’. ‘When You’re Ready’ hit her hard, the moment she heard it on the radio in her London flat, that was when it clicked, the whole album, besides a few songs were based on her. And all she can say is, “How dare you?”

Y/N knew she would regret this. She knew it, she knew that this was wrong, but she had to. After how many years that they were apart, she was mad at him for the first time. Her innocent teenage self wasn’t there anymore. She had to go through a heartbreak as well, she had to go through money problems and backstabbing friends. She lived, she dealt and fuck she was placed in therapy after what happened with her ex after Shawn.

When Y/N first went to the U.K., she met a really nice businessman who she fell in love with over a course of a few years. But, he was a manipulator and narcissistic bitch. There wasn’t much good in their year and a half relationship, just emotional abuse and manipulation. It really affected her, mentally, emotionally, she wasn’t herself anymore. She was a healing mess.

But, hearing the album from Shawn and the few songs from his second that he added before the album was released, she couldn’t believe him. He pretends that she doesn’t exist, but then sings about her where the world is left wondering, “Who hurt the Shawn Mendes?”

So, her best friend and she went to his concert where he performed the songs he wrote about her. Y/N stood in her spot watching him prance around the stage with his guitar, a smile upon his still beautiful features, yet heartbroken eyes. He couldn’t see her, she made sure that was on purpose. She was far away, but he was so proud about everything and she felt like her seventeen-year-old self once again, blinded by love and admiration.

But, it was the small things she picked up. The screen showing flowers and outlines of a female who looked very similar to her. The rose was her favourite flower when they first met. Shawn used to bring a rose to her on every date. The rose burned on the screen and she knew right then that this was about her.

Y/N left the concert, almost regretting her decision so long ago. She needed a drink and she needed one bad. Her friend left her, saying she had to go home to her fiancé, so Y/N was left to her own misery in the small dimly lit pub.

A half an hour later a sound went off, signally someone came in. She didn’t turn, she just nursed the whiskey in her hand as she stared at it. But, a figure sat next to her. She knew who it was before she looked. She knew the energy, the smell, the feeling. He sat next to her and he had no idea.

“A beer,” he muttered, looking up at the bartender. This was when she had a burst of confidence.

“Perfectly Wrong, When You’re Ready, Particular Taste, Nervous, Ruin, I can go on,” she muttered. He knew the voice right away. His head darted next to himself to the figure he loved so much.

He stared, as she looked up and lined eyes. “Why? Why did you write about me?” she asked, taking a sip from the liquor.

“You’re here,” he muttered, just staring at her. Y/N changed, she truly changed, he noticed.

“I am. I went to school here, I work here, live here, so I am here. Why are you here?” she asked, he couldn’t figure out the words.

“What happened to you?” she laughed, ordering another one and turning herself.

“Not everyone becomes a global superstar and makes millions and is liked by everyone,” she told him. She was so cold, so off, so broken; she hated the world at the moment and he wondered why.

“Right,” he laughed, as he just looked at her with awe, “You are so gorgeous,” he muttered. She laughed.

“Still your charming self, I see. At least one of us is happy,” she told me. He shook his head, running his hands through his hair.

“No, no, Y/N, I am not happy. I haven’t been happy since we broke up,” she shook her head.

“You have two years until we meet again, become happy, find someone,” she said as she left a few pounds on the counter and grabbed her coat.

“Stop,” he said, grabbing her hand and looked at her, “You said that if we are meant to be, our paths would cross. Our paths are crossing right now, honey, they’re fucking crossing,” she shook her head.

“I just got out of a relationship, Shawn. Give me two years and I will see if I am ready,” she said and he shook his head.

“I am ready, I am so ready, baby,” she shook her head.

“But, I am not. You said in your song that you’ll wait, please, just do that for now,” she told him, “I’ll be ready, just give me time. Good concert by the way,” she told me as she waved and left.

She left so fast as she appeared. Y/N was gone again, he lost her again and he didn’t know if he could wait again.

-

Two years felt like forever, at least for him. He wrote many more songs about her and after a while, she realised that she shouldn’t hate that, he’s still waiting for her. She got over demons and issues and moved back home. She moved to Toronto because she was ready. Her apartment was cute, she went back to school and begin getting an education degree, as she loves to write, but she wants to teach children more.

That was what Shawn loved about her, she wanted to teach everyone. She wanted to be a guide and a teacher and a healer. Her broken heart learned to heal itself but still wondered what happened when she got hurt from her ex. But, she knew Shawn was waiting for her and nobody else was. That was the perfect thing about him, he loved her more than life itself and fuck, she loved him more than the moon and Earth.

So, she went to Toronto, she went to the local university, so when that five-year mark came, he can travel, she could learn and they could be happy.

Of course, the universe loves to tease her. The minute she stepped into the familiar city, he was everywhere, whether it was on bulletin board or actual physical self.

She remembers when she saw him across the street one day, she laughed and still waited. Y/N didn’t want to be creepy, she wanted their paths to cross again, to fulfil each other’s promise. They are waiting for each other and the universe works in wonderful ways to make them cross.

They had 3 months left, she has been in the city for a year. It was a cold fall morning, walking into the café and setting everything up. She loved this little place, she loved watching people interact, learn, talk, fall in love. Another thing Shawn loves about her, she was in love with the world itself. Her hands were numb from the Canadian cold and were regaining it’s feeling when she turned the kettle on.

The bell rang, she looked up, seven in the morning. She wondered who would be there.

Shawn shivered from the cold as he entered the local café close to the studio. It was early, too early for him. He prefers the duvet of his bed and warm apartment than the cold fall morning on a Monday.

Y/N came around the corner, a smile upon her face, messy ponytail and cute sweater. This was her, this was the woman he fell in love with all those years ago. The girl in the London pub wasn’t her, this was her.

“Hi,” she muttered, a wider smile came to her face. He just stared in awe.

“You’re here,” he muttered, nerves taking him, “you’re in Toronto. What the fuck are you doing here?” she laughed, loved how confused he was/

“I came back,” she told him from across the counter, he nodded, hands coming out of his pocket and running through his hair; a nervous tick. “Three months,” she muttered.

“What?” he asked, still not believing she was right in front of him.

“Three months till the river. But, I set a rule that if our paths—”

“Crossed than we are really meant to be,” he finished.

“This is our path crossing, Shawnie,” she told him, using the nickname.

“Yeah, it really is,” he smiled, laughing. Y/N came behind the counter towards him.

“I’m ready when you are,” she told him, “you are travelling the world, I am going to the local university studying education, there’s a cute apart-”

She was interrupted by his lips on hers, a passionate kiss shared between them. Y/N smiled into the kiss, grabbing his curls as they rocked back and forth, pulling away and hugging each other and little tears are shared between them.

“Thank you for waiting,” she told him, pulling away.

“Marry me?” he muttered out, she laughed.

“One day, mister, one day,” she told him, grabbing his cheeks and kissing his lips, “I am not going anywhere hun.”

-

Tag list - comment, DM, inbox to be added/removed :)

@alinashawn @mendesnecessary @claredolphinbear24 @notunlimited @harrysahottie @ashwarren32 @iimagineloves @i-am-bisexual-and-a-girl @purple-cream-cheese @shawns-mendess @lilya-petrichor @laggyphone @winchesterwife27 @neverlandqueen15 @kissme-hs

[onegirllis]

Since Life is Strange 2 is finally fully released, I let myself to write a probably not-so-short review of the complete season. The momentum for such a summary is already gone I presume but it took me a moment to finally digest and find the proper words to describe what I think and feel about this production. Following the game from the start, I patiently waited to look at the story as a whole, hoping to find an explanation for tons of burning questions and satisfying outcomes to my choices and decisions. Unfortunately, most of those didn’t happen, therefore I present you with a piece that is not very favorable towards the newest Dontnod production, harsh in places but honest. Please, do not read if you really enjoyed the story of the two brothers and find it meaningful and important, not burdened with any fallacy. Life is way too short to read reviews that just leave you frustrated.

Remember the scene in Life is Strange season one (I still hate the fact that I have to separate different instances of the franchise calling them seasons), when Max summoned by an enormous plasma TV in Victoria’s room fantasizes about watching “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within” on it? “I like this movie, I don’t care what everybody says,” getting protective about her preferences, the little freckle leaves the room soon after, never gifting us with any explanation as to why she indeed values this animation so much or why it was an important statement. It was never brought back again, it will never matter, becoming simply a meme material or a trigger for snarky comments from Twitch streamers and YouTubers. I watched the said movie a long time ago, recalling only two things about it: the breathtaking animation of hair at the beginning and the fact that the main male character looked like Ben Affleck. The rest of the story fell into obscurity before the end credits hit the screen. I reached for this title only because I was interested in anything video games related, and the name of the popular franchise was more than enough.

The same thing goes for Life is Strange 2.

Just like the mentioned FF: The Spirits Within, the second instance of the beloved series is more of an animation than an interactive experience. Recently, plenty of video games, overwhelmed by finally reachable technology of smooth mocaps, facial expressions, hyper-realistic locations, and scanned people as characters, turned into an alley dedicated to B-class movies. From adventures by David Cage to Death Stranding, video games started to flip their working template, replacing the actual action with long animations, not the other way around. With scattered gameplay, sometimes forced as if the developers reminded themselves at the last minute that this product is supposed to be interactive, they raise an eyebrow at best, and boil your blood with the lack of creativity at its worst. Life Is Strange 2 follows this trend with astonishing enthusiasm and to the core. Even regarding this particular genre that’s supposed to focus on narrative, it barely stands as a walking simulator becoming a hardly watchable TV series — a road trip story where walking is limited.

Well, shit.

The gameplay in Life is Strange 2 is nonexistent. To be frank, riveting action-packed sequences were never a trademark of the series, but a blatant lack of any didn’t make this experience any better. With the first one, the rewind power allowed the player to actually be part of the narrative. The second, where Sean just serves as a witness to his brother’s actions, plays more like a full motion picture. An enormous amount of un-skippable cut-scenes change LIS2 into a tedious, dragging journey straight from the worst selection of buy 1 get 3 free Z-class movies. The music and the mastery in creating an atmosphere that rose Dontnod to international fame due to widespread acclaim can’t save those sequences either. It almost feels like their own creation so enchanted the development team that they ignored all the red flags and clumsy solutions to immerse in the world themselves, treating the actual player as a lesser evil, throwing them a bone just to claim it is a video game format. To no surprise, most of the items the player interacts with don’t matter at all and don’t serve any purpose either to foreshadow an upcoming outcome, present exposition to the world, or be in any way helpful.

The lack of superpower is not an issue here though. Before the Storm met the expectations with way more grace, proving that a story doesn’t need a lot of strange in life to grip and hold its audience for hours. Watching a superhero growing up is an interesting premise, but a hell of a challenge to execute and execute well. Some stories like “Little Man Tate” translate to a brilliant film, but don’t necessarily work as games, after the planning stage or first Game Design Document. The references regarding the first game also remain scattered and uneven, tossed on the pile with a heap of faith that devoted fans would notice, but without a purpose in mind.

Even if I sound harsh, I do believe that Dontnod wanted to deliver the best story possible, but Life is Strange 2 feels even too big to absorb or fill with details. Captain Spirit, not necessarily my cup of tea either, was in my opinion way more coherent, as the creative team felt more comfortable with such a small scope of a product. Everything falls into place after careful exploration, makes more sense with every minute. The mystery about the mother, an alumnus of Blackwell Academy, and an admirer of Jefferson’s work is a solid premise that didn’t raise expectations up the roof nor overpromise. The mystery of yet another mother, this time Life is Strange 2, played for over 3 and a half episodes, falls flat in comparison and ends in the disappointing question “that’s it?”

No, that’s not it. There’s more to it.

Life is Strange 1 was mocked as Tumblr: The Game, while the second instance could easily pass as Twitter: The Animated Series. The writers didn’t challenge themselves or the audience to answer the question of why certain people voted for Donald Trump, or why they would do it yet again. The only reason presented in the story is quite simplistic and obvious – because they are evil, deplorable people, not worth listening to. They are the worst. We are better. Issues of being harangued by foreigners about domestic policies and troubles of your own country are a brewing can of worms I wouldn’t like to touch at the moment. Still, this particular stance, which serves as painful generalization that every single republican voter in the US is foul, can be forged only by someone who either lives in a bubble or doesn’t live here at all. Simply because we all have parents, grandparents, relatives, friends, or co-workers who decided to elect the actual prescient to power. Some of them are racists, disgusting, and horrible personas, and some just belong to the scared of change, confused and manipulated crowd that don’t accept the fast-paced transformation nor the need for a revolution. We coexist together, arguing and fighting, especially during holiday breaks, but even if it costs me a headache, I wouldn’t call them evil. Millions of people voted for Trump, but only a few wouldn’t spit on a swastika if confronted with the Nazi banner.

It’s even more painful when you understand what kind of message was sewed into the stitches of a shattered story. There was no ill will, or at least I don’t think so, but an honest, genuine need to express the concern about modern America. Unfortunately, when executed, this concern changed into another yell or discourse by the family table during an argument with your racist uncle. An open discussion in a game community that unifies both left and right supporters equally by their love for this form of entertainment would be appreciated by many, just like after playing LIS1, a handful of people changed their views on LGBT issues.

Instead of a lesson that had to be experienced, we got a lecture about morality and tolerance, contradicting itself constantly and nonchalantly following the well-known tropes NOT in a sarcastic and admirable way known from Saturday Night Live, but in a lazy and sometimes even clumsy substitute of a dramatic format. The political landscape painted in LIS2 is caricatural, unforgiving, harsh like a deserted wasteland with a few peaceful oases to stop at, but shies over its own existence, not willing to thoroughly discuss the dreadful weather. Guess what? The sand won’t change into greener pastures only because you close your eyes, putting your imagination to work. Donald Trump might not be re-elected for a second term, but his supporters will stay in place, even more conflicted by the other side. It’s a brave decision to deliver such a punitive story but such a cowardice to break its pillars, hoping that the general public wouldn’t notice or get distracted when things get too heated up.

The lack of subtlety forced scene by scene is even more polarizing. There is no peaceful dialogue with the other side as if it couldn’t exist in this world. There is no change of heart or a path to do so. Sometimes it feels like the only message that LIS2 writers wanted to provide was to find your own, peaceful and liberal hermitage, either among hipsters in the Redwood forest, driving a car that your ‘family with money but no soul’ had bought you or move to a trailer park filled with artistic souls in Nowhere, Arizona. Any contact with the outside world can hurt you and your feelings. Drop off the grid or die. The end.

No discussion.

The efforts of trying to understand the motivation behind even the most dreadful character of the first game, got lost in preparation for the second. LIS2 builds a higher wall between two political sides, than any other game released after Trump became the president of the United States and desperately wants to keep it erected, ignoring the crumbling foundations of such. A proverbial river you shall not cross nor build bridges over since the only outcome would end up in death, destruction, or you and your young brother getting hurt.

I’m familiar with the discussion about LIS2, especially with a shouting match that if you do not like this instance, you are therefore a racist pig, a disgusting person without a soul, conscience, or working brain that doesn’t understand the situation and never will. On the contrary. In my humble opinion, we deserve a better discussion, better stories, better representation, not sticking to whatever is presented because it’s brave enough or was never approached before. I disagree with the stance that a Latino, bisexual main character is enough to close your eyes, omitting all problems that this title tries to shun, riding its high horse. No. Those topics are way too crucial to just walk past, setting for less with your head down, thanking for the game industry to take notice. You the player deserve better, even if you don’t struggle with specific issues on a daily basis. And after playing LIS2, you may feel so good about yourself, stating that an effort was made but it it wasn’t made enough.

I expected more. I wanted Dontnod to do more, and frankly, I feel silly putting so much faith in them and supporting their efforts. Armed with resources provided by Square Enix, I’m sure they are aware of the fact that most of their audience is quite young and wouldn’t mind a lesson or message about what to do amidst troubled times. Well, Dontnod doesn’t have any but warns you that voicing your opinion or being different may end up in disaster. Outraged, they just yell at the news, angry about what our reality has changed into, but nothing comes out of it. It’s all right, though. Our parents do the same thing. We started to do the same thing, but instead of complaining to family members, we have Twitter.

While Life is Strange 2 tries really hard to come across as a realistic and raw portrait of the US at the end of the decade, they didn’t have enough courage to show realistic obstacles two runaways would be faced with. The brothers do meet a handful of bigots and racists, but the rest of the fellow travelers help them beyond understanding or hidden agenda. Sean and Daniel never really struggle to find a place to stay or a warm meal, usually complaining on or off the screen just before the game mercifully provides them with a solution. There’s no trap they can fall into, no ambiguous characters that promise one thing and then demand something in return. It’s very honorable for Brody to pay for a place to stay, but if an adult man gave young kids a key to a motel room, I would consider a way more sinister outcome. It’s not even about Brody himself, since good people exist, just like the racist ones, but the boys not even once are put in a realistic, scary situation created by a supposed ally. If somebody is helpful, this person is always decent, offering them a job, a ride, some food or money. The bad people wear red hats and yell racist slurs. America by Dontnod is simple to navigate but raw and painful when not necessary and fairy-tale-like when it could teach an actual lesson. Running away from home is not so hazardous because of Trump supporters but because you can end up dead in a ravine, being robbed and raped. It’s not the first and surely not the last time when the developers feared to touch any topic of sexual abuse with a ten-foot pole, but then the journey plays more like a vacation than a desperate escape. Sean gets beaten-up a few times, loses his eye due to a brawl, but it doesn’t affect him at all in the long run. When Daniel finally gets kidnapped, it’s not an Epstein-like circle, dealing with human trafficking, but a religious cult that worships him. The first option, even if it feels like a stretch, is unfortunately way more realistic than the latter.

Preaching to the choir is not the biggest sin this game commits though. That brings me to the most discussed theme of the production, which is education.

With all due respect to the developers, writers, and designers, Life is Strange 2 in this aspect falls flat as a discovery of a Sunday father, who is responsible for taking his kid to the zoo and struggles to find any common ground with his offspring, either trying to crack jokes about famous pop-culture phenomena or talk about food discussing their next favorite meal. The said father is trying his best though, perfectly aware that it’s his only chance to teach his son a thing or two, but doesn’t know exactly where to start, torn apart between buying more ice cream and throwing a fit about a stain on the carpet. The father doesn’t even like kids that much and can’t translate his lessons into an engaging play that would be memorized forever, rolling his eyes and counting the days to his kid’s graduation so they could share a beer or two and talk about adult things. Now, any effort to explain how the world works seems to be in vain, therefore a waste of his precious time. Leaving the emotional approach aside, the father doesn’t have to cuddle with his kid when he’s scared, bullied, traumatized or asks millions of questions about the future or present, because the full-time mother is waiting at home willing to replace him in this duty. The mother, knowing that her ex-partner sucks big time at talking about feelings, will be the one who will hold the kid, patiently explaining that the boogieman does not exist, playing pirates, or stay late at night to distract his sorrows. The kid will never discuss his fears with his dad though, trying so hard to impress his male parent. He will never know, and it’s fine. The mother is going to do the job while he can deliver a once a week entertainment along with the lines of ultimate wisdom that most likely will be forgotten anyway.

This is not raising a kid, it’s nursing them like a fragile plant in a flowerpot, focusing on water, sun, and fertilizer, but discarding the emotional background, hoping that somebody else would take care of such issues if things go south.

Sean can’t raise his brother well, simply because he is immature and will stay immature for the rest of the game. There is no moment when he truly goes through a transformation changing from a boy to a man, a fully grown-up adult who takes responsibility for his actions and makes sacrifices for the sake of the greater good. No, surrendering in a fight in the church doesn’t serve as one, neither does the first sexual experience. He doesn’t wonder even once if the hastily constructed plan is benefiting Daniel, forcing it to the last minutes of the game, taking the separation as the worst thing that could happen. There’s no spark of a tragedy like in “The Road” when a father gives up his son to strangers for the sake of saving him. Sean doesn’t care, presenting no character development across the board, merely pushing forward. If there are doubts, they disappear in the blink of an eye when the next cut-scene takes place.

I understand that such a young lad as Sean wouldn’t know how to raise a kid, especially if having no model to rely on. However, a part of growing pains is developing the awareness that we know way less than we assumed. That said, Sean Diaz is always assuming he is right, not asking for advice regarding Daniel even once. Apparently, it’s not something that he’s interested in or ever will be. If Life is Strange 2 wants to pass as a coming of age story, it falls on its face before it even starts.

Moreover, locked in the auto-driven plot, Sean cannot grow up and gain a new perspective; otherwise, the story wouldn’t reach its big, explosion-packed finale of crossing the border. His desperate efforts of influencing his brother usually converge to order him around, feed him with half-truths or simply leave him in the dark when convenient. I didn’t see any difference or change in Sean’s approach from episode one when he scolded his brother, annoyed for his party plans being interrupted, and in episode three, when he reacts similarly, for the sake of spending time alone with the chosen love interest. There’s no deep thought, no wonder about his own wrongdoings expressed to his brother, no faults admitted, no fallacies explained, with one life-threating situation after another. From an illegal weed growing farm, to destroying police stations, Sean just follows the road, paved by the writers, oblivious to the harm done to his younger sibling, as if Daniel simply forgets the morally gray choices, growing his moral spine entirely on performing chores. Washing the dishes and peeling potatoes does not make us better people but understanding a perspective so different than our own does. Thanks to Sean, Daniel expands his world, but it’s a very one-sided perspective, focusing on always praised, hippie-style liberties, and disregarding every option that requires any code of conduct, as represented by the grandparents. While the older brother forces the younger one to keep up with the designed tasks, he never discusses the issues that really matter. In episode 3, the youngster gets involved in a heist, a robbery, but after it fails, costing Sean his eye and the possible death of some of their companions, this is never mentioned. Mexico, a plan that is hardly a plan at all, is supposed to be an answer to all the questions and doubts. El Dorado of knowledge.

This is not how you raise a dog, not to mention a child.

There is no emotional bond, no special ties between the brothers, except a few problematic moments that play mostly on simple connection forged by blood, not by circumstances. Sean worries about Daniel because he’s his brother, but the player starts to wonder quite quickly why and what for. Reminiscing about old times gets nailed down to a few lines about the comforts and amenities of a life long gone. The tough topics, such as grieving after personally witnessing their father’s death, are mentioned scarcely and without much emphasis, as if serving only as a reminder to the player, but not a poignant struggle. Same goes with the dog, their friends mutilated at the end of the weed farm chapter, Chris (aka captain spirit) who is mentioned just before the end credits of the second episode, and tons of others. On top of it, the scattered and not so often dialogue lines about putting people in danger refer only to the good folk, siding with the brothers, not to humankind in general. Killing a police officer or knocking down a gas station owner are just natural ways of how things work in America, honorable deeds since it’s apparently perfectly fine for a kid to attempt a homicide if people are mean.

What a brave story.

Chloe Price had been suffering for five years after William, her beloved father, died in a car crash. For Sean and Daniel, there is no grief to experience, but a memory to share with a plan to erect a monument in the future. Esteban Diaz is a plot device, a symbol of inequality, but not a family member. Even a dream sequence with his guest appearance lacks the impact of the subconscious conversations we’ve seen in Before the Storm. It just simply doesn’t matter.

I can’t believe I have to say this but the relatable part about LIS1 wasn’t the tornado, just like in LIS2 crossing the border is its weakest point, but it’s those small moments, gestures, quick smiles in passing, the atmosphere and a breath of fresh air when a line, sometimes silly, got dropped. In the most recent story, there is not a single line worth quoting, memorizing, or discussing. And please, don’t bring up “awesome possum” again. It’s literally taken from The Lego Movie song.

The brothers, just like Thelma and Louise, decide to leave everything behind, throwing away the life as they knew it and forging their own future despite all odds. Although, when the two desperate women drive off the cliff committing suicide, chased by the armed forces, there is nothing to explain as the audience fully understands their reasoning. Their will of life was strong, but the path they followed was too steep to return. Without any help or support, confronted with brutal honesty and the world’s cruelty around them, it is the best possible solution. The story of the two brothers, even if it tries to echo the iconic movie, couldn’t be more different. Despite resources at their disposal, family members that do care about their wellbeing, the whole community rising in protest in their hometown, they risk everything for the sake of getting back to the land they don’t even know. Their Mexican heritage is also mentioned just as an exposition, and, as we learn in the very last episode, just before the ending that Daniel doesn’t speak Spanish. So why do the stubborn Diaz brothers despite all odds travel to Mexico? Because.

Canada was too close, I guess.

Last but not least, let’s talk about sex, because why the hell not. A lot of fans or admirers of the previous instances howled across all social media about how much they miss Max and Chloe. I don’t really think it’s the case, but those two girls symbolize something that LIS2 has a tremendous problem with. There’s no emotional connection between the characters the brothers meet along the way, especially the ones that really should matter. Even the love interests feel more like nagging choices than anything else, an experiment during a camping trip, not something that would last or could be fantasized about. Instead of nerve-wracking decisions such as if you’re supposed to kiss Rachel, hold her hand, or the ecstatic discovery (for PriceFielders, but it was ecstatic, right?) that Chloe changed her phone’s background, we are instead presented with a lineup of sexual experiences, that maybe trail-blaze the road when it comes to topics tackled by a video game, but fall into obscurity as an emotional construction. There is no build-up between Sean and Finn as everything develops to a kiss in one conversation, and Cassidy has fewer lines than Victoria Chase before she invites Sean to her tent. We watch it as we watched it before, trying to get attached, feel something, but the only thing we remember was how much it touched us years ago when we played a different game but with a similar title. The sex scene, relatable or not, is stripped from the emotional intimacy and is as sensitively challenging as a dog being killed.

Character development doesn’t move an inch even if Sean, a surrogate father to his brother, lost his virginity to an older girl. There’s no single thought in his head that he might conceive his own offspring during this short but probably memorable experience. There’s not a single line except for the satisfaction of some female parts finally discovered. Oh, dashing explorer, will you ever learn?

It’s sad. I did want to like this game and gave it plenty of chances like no other titles ever. I’ve made excuses for the poor execution, technical problems, with the whiny voice acting that was driving me up the wall, plot twists written (I think) on a lunch break, and so on, but I couldn’t stand it. It’s a hard pass when it comes to a video game in general, not to mention the story, script, and everything else. Life is Strange season one; a low-budget production, was the first step to create a masterpiece that LIS2 might’ve been able to become. The second season didn’t learn much from LIS1’s mistakes, additionally exchanging the well-known beauty for a garbage fire, ignoring all the warning signs along the way. Delivering a story that tackles such important topics, it slides between the checkmarks on the board of issues, mentioning conversion therapy, religion, gayness, illegal immigration, and a spiral of crimes but never elaborating on any of them. There is no meat and potatoes presented on the plate of events, but just a sticky, sweet gravy with nothing underneath that leaves you not only hungry but frustrated, willing to call the chef and yell at the waiter. The trick is that unless you were living under a rock, there are tons of other productions in different media that give those themes justice, carefully unfolding all the aspects, giving voice to both sides. The fact that it’s the first video game having an affair with serious issues doesn’t matter. I don’t believe that anybody who consumes any kind of other media like decent books, movies, or TV shows can remain blind to the problems of Life is Strange 2, claiming it to be a good story. It’s not.

So here we are, girls, boys, and beyond. Life is Strange 2 with its broken mechanics, story, characters, and spirit slowly but surely will be forgotten. It’s Dontnod’s Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within that you might love to watch or play on your brand-new TV, despite what everybody else would say, omitting any valid or invalid criticism, but unfortunately, it won’t change the general optics about this particular piece of media. A lost chance or recklessness created a convoluted mess and with a heart beating in the wrong place. You might praise Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, get excited about it since it’s a free world, free country (and even if it’s not, no one will take this ersatz of such liberty) and don’t let anybody tell you what to love. The problem is, that most likely the only thing that people will remember about this production is that the main male character looked like Ben Affleck and the hair animation was dope. Everything else won’t matter.

The same thing goes, unfortunately, for Life is Strange 2, subtitle: The Spirits Without.

[tea-and-conspiracy]

GAME OVER for Laelia

Laelia knew this day was likely inevitable the moment she ignited the Delphinus’ engines all those months ago. The Empire always kept score, and it never left accounts unsettled.

So she did not feel fear as she stood with her back to the wall, cigarette smoldering in her mouth as she stared dispassionately across the yard at the firing squad. They stared back with equal apathy, eager to do their duty in the name of their emperor -- whoever the fuck that even was now.

Yes, Laelia Belisar, former Jen and convicted deserter, was prepared to die...until the Tribunus returned, marching the rest of her family with him.

They were chained together in a miserable row: Mother and Father, Tacitus, Irene, Antonius, and Sophia. Regardless of where her prodigious, over-achieving siblings had once ranked, even they were now evidently disposable. The Tribunus lined them up beside her and began to blindfold them each.

“Wait...wait a minute!” Laelia protested. “What is this?!”

“Your punishment,” the Tribunus said, “for not revealing the location of your fellow deserters. If one traitor cannot be trusted, then neither can her entire family.”

“No...no, no! This wasn’t part of the bargain, you never mentioned this!” Laelia suddenly surged forward, only to go nowhere; her own bindings held her fast to a post.

“If you truly still had a sliver of loyalty to Garlemald, you wouldn’t have needed such encouragement,” the Tribunus replied. She could practically hear his eyebrow arching smugly. “But it is clear you have chosen a darker path.”

“But they didn’t desert! It was only me!” she cried. “My family is innocent!”

“And when we execute you, which one of them will vow revenge?”

“NONE of them! They are loyal servants of the Empire!”

“Perhaps. Once upon a time.” Now the Tribunus blindfolded her as well, promptly marching away.

Bereft of sight, it was hard not to panic. She could not see her family’s expressions, nor know whether or not the squad was taking aim.

“Please!” she begged. “Let them go!”

“Will you reveal to us the locations of the others?” the Tribunus asked. “Of Victoria Castellus, Maxima Sawyer, and Decius Struja?”

Laelia half-sobbed in indecision. It wasn’t fair. Did she condemn her own flesh and blood to death, or those who fought and bled beside her, who protected her when she needed it most?

“I hope the Warrior of Light personally shoves a gunblade up your ass,” she growled.

That, naturally, did not go over well.

“Laelia Belisar!” the Tribunus called from across the yard. “For the crimes of desertion, sedition, piracy, espionage, and treason, I hereby sentence you and your family to death. Have you any last words?”

“Fuck the Galvuses and fuck the Empi--”

She could not finish before an over-eager, trigger-happy recruit put a bullet in her. The others fired on instinct, riddling her with bullets.

Laelia never knew whether or not they spared her family in the end, or whether or not those close to her would be safe.

Instead she bled out in futility into the snow, having accomplished, ultimately, nothing.

[archiveddvrpg]

Congratulations, VICTORIA! You’ve been accepted for the role of KATHERINE with an FC change to Magdalena Frackowiak. Admin Minnie: We've been waiting a long time for someone to turn Verona's best shot into a living, breathing being on our dash. Our Katarina is a force to be reckoned with, and not to be underestimated. It would be easy to capture her as a femme fatale, but you captured her layered depths, her spirit and her ferocity. Reading your application was like a breath of fresh air for all that Katarina could be and, with you in our ranks again, undoubtedly will be. We're excited to have you back with us again, and so excited to see Katarina take shape in your hands! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Victoria

Age | 23

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | On a scale of one to ten, maybe six? Higher on the weekends, but I work until six Monday through Friday and after that, I’ll be able to get a few replies done per day. I’m always around on Discord for plotting, though.

Timezone | EST

How did you find the rp?  | I was friends with Rosey during DV’s first introduction in the rpc, didn’t get to apply, and kind of fell off from Tumblr for a LONG while before going back and forth between town rps and indie. Once I circled back around and found DV again, I’d applied for Santino Gallo with the fc change of Stephen James. However, I stepped away when I realised I wasn’t in the right headspace to invest so much time into a place like DiVerona, and now I’m back feeling a lot better and more confident about my writing.

Current/Past RP Accounts | here, here, and here

IN CHARACTER

Character | Katherine, Katarina Du Pont with a faceclaim change to Magdalena Frackowiak

What drew you to this character? | Admittedly, the process of how I chose Katherine was very much like playing a game of roulette. After making sure the cast list was filtered to all open roles, I blindly scrolled and clicked, ready to read whatever biography I clicked on. That was Caesar’s. And, though I did immediately feel for the man that had created and lost an empire, I had to read at least one more biography to be sure of my decision to pick one. The next time, it was Katherine. Katherine woke me up. Katarina Du Pont reminds me so much of what could be the hellspawn of two of my own original characters that I immediately knew yes– I could write her. I could get into her head, learn her, feel her so I could write her. Katherine feels real to me. She’s alive when I think of her, when I write about her. And that’s what led me here, to send in an application to write her.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

FOOL ME ONCE, FOOL ME TWICE, AND THEN A THIRD – A RECAP

They jeered at her. Back at the police station, from behind closed doors, with their backs turned and some had the gall to do speak ill to her face. Thrice now, she had been caught off guard and bested.

There was nothing fair in a war, after all, and just the same, Marcello’s fist had come flying out of nowhere the night that Cosimo had been shot. As luck would have it, it was but a third blow that had struck her to the ground. In retrospect, it was sheer and utter irony. Katarina was a detective with the police force and yet she had been caught off guard, flaw in her so-called constant vigilance found imperfect. Three punches, three blows and two had been to her head then she had fallen to the ground. She’d hardly put up a fight. It was a blow to her ego as much it had injured her physically– but she promised herself that she would get back at the bastard.

Next, it was the night at the Teatro Nuovo that Katarina found herself bested twice more. The witches had been hanged and Lillian’s assistant had immediately moved to help, but trying to preserve the crime scene as a cop, and protect the woman with the knowledge that Paola was dear and important to her best friend while chaos erupted in the theatre had her too spread out, focusing on three things at once.

Threes. Why would everything continue to occur in threes?

That she had been decked hard enough by Paola that the woman had slipped past her had been insult enough to her pride. Of course, it was forgivable in an instant, but that it would soon be twice in one night that Katarina could not forgive. A shake of her head and moment to catch her breath amidst the commotion was what she deemed more than enough.

But the night was not over yet, and while she sought her comrades, dodged and pushed against foe, a gunshot rang out over the din of the fray– and Katarina found herself face to face with Odessa Vernon. Once upon a time, she had been friends with her brother. Years and years ago, Lawrence might have been won to righteousness. But that was the past. And at present, Katarina had thought she would be a foe to fight past quickly enough to make sure those that were hers were safe. Yet, it was but another miscalculation on her part, having not expected the girl’s desperation to get past her. Stumbling to catch her breath and wipe at her bloody lip, she saw that it was her own sister that had succeeded– and that blow was worse than the injuries she had sustained, and Odessa had fled with.

JUSTICE SERVED - Three times she was bested in a fight. What good of a cop was she if she did not manage her duty? The virtuousness of her words, and righteousness of her gun beside her badge meant nothing if she could not survive the fight. Revenge was a fickle thing in her mind– but was it revenge, she pondered, or was it justice? She would bring justice to the man who had assaulted her in the alley as the Castelvecchio Bridge broke. Katarina would forgive as what was right when someone who was innocent and neutral only wished to do right. Yet, for the last transgression, the one who stuck out in her mind the most, Katarina wants justice in the form of a rematch. Another opportunity at Odessa. And, while her sister isn’t apparently entirely useless in a fight, the elder sister would prove once and for all somehow in some way that she was of the most value. With the task to protect Cosimo’s princessa, she knew there was no room for error. The princessa was doing good for others, and that goodness would not be ruined by the like of the Montagues.

A TRIFECTA - Three was a mystical, lucky number. A group of three made for the strongest formation, made for a strong formation for a building, and it would take three notable mistakes for Katarina to learn that her tongue and gun were nothing without a third skill in the trifecta. A triple threat was what they called it, and it was what she would be in this war. Her looks were hardly a weapon after all, and they especially were not one that she could count on. So, she would train. Katarina would learn better how to fight, would train to find that balance in warfare and learn to use it to her best advantage. The Du Pont girl was the best goddamn shot in Verona, with a tongue tempered to destroy at an even more devastating level. She would do best to complete the trio by honing her skill in hand to hand combat by training at Measure by Measure. Three skills like these put together would be perfect, and with that in mind she has pushed harder and more viciously than before to be as indomitable as she believed herself to be.

WHAT COULD BE BETTER? - But, what if she couldn’t? The seed of doubt had begun to fester as unwillingly as an ant an unwilling victim to a shoe, or child with a magnifying glass. And, oh, it burned in her mind. Try as Katarina might to quell her unbidden fear and dismiss it, the thought had come to mind and there it would stay, unforgotten and at the forefront of her thoughts when she lay sleepless in her bed. What, then? What else was there for her? What else could the woman with a bladed tongue do? The answer was clear before her one late night, and immediately she found herself leaping from her bed. Katarina was justice, righteousness rolled into a body that fought and felt viscerally to do all she believed needed to be done. Becoming a cop was no mistake, but perhaps just a moment on her path. It has been a month since she had begun to look more into the possibility, and the blonde has yet to confess to anyone that her current vocation might not be the best to suit her. Her pride in serving justice needed to advance somehow, and this just might be the way to do it.

SISTER DEAREST - An injured bunny might be able to hop to safety. But it should take care to not be caught, especially by a Kat. Increasingly and ever more still, the love for one’s kin has begun to truly leave her. Romulus and Remus. Cain and Abel. It has become unavoidable, the truth that neither could truly live their life in Verona to the fullest while the other remained. Brigette seemed more useless now to the Capulet cause now more than ever, and if given the order to extinguish a liability to Cosimo and his successor… Would she be able to carry out her duty? Justice would always be due when there were those who betrayed their loyalties, and righteousness would always win. Katarina herself did not cut corners, did not excuse herself above reproach. So, why should her simpering little sister be treated any better? For as long as she could remember, the younger Du Pont had been a thorn in her side, an unwanted connection and reminder that she would never be who her family wanted. But, that was the point of it all, Katerina would tell herself. The Du Ponts did not want a wolf. But, she was who they needed. Not a bleating sheep.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | No one likes a dirty cop, and they seldom survive when it comes to war, run aground by responsibilities to the Capulets and the badge and inevitably caught in the crosshairs. If the opportunity arises where it makes no sense for Katherine to survive– kill her.

IN DEPTH

Please choose between the interview or the para sample (or both, if you like!)

In-Character Interview: The following questions must be answered in-character, and in para form (quotations, actions written out if applicable, etc). There is no minimum or maximum limit for your response - simply answer as you would if you were playing the character.

What is your favorite place in Verona? | “The Cathedral.” The answer tumbled from her lips without so much a pause. The house of God worked twofold as the heart of Capulet business, and it was there where order and integrity flowed. Humans were flawed, were they not? Justice was not synonymous with peace, nor righteousness with divinity. But, God gave comfort and hope to the people, and it was only fitting that behind it all, the Capulets did God’s work to serve and keep warm their Verona. Just like the Medicis did once for Florence, the Capulets did so for Verona. “There is a certain sense of… Order to the place that is a comfort, a place where I can clear my mind and take a moment both at the beginning and end of the day to find peace.” Katarina’s words were lilted with the tone of a woman who had calculated every move she had and would make, steady and without an ounce of indecisiveness while her voice kept to a smoky yet calm sound, sliding pleasurably from her tongue. No one ever doubted the blonde’s conviction in her words, and why would they? She wasn’t a liar. The elder Du Pont loved order and rules, and by god, the way she lived her life was a direct example. It was after she gave answer she finally graced the other with a smile. “The Cathedral, it is beautiful, it it not?”

What does your typical day look like? | Her brow had arched somewhat, but the stoicness of her other  features had yet not moved an inch. “My typical day?” Katarina had almost laughed. Almost. There was nothing ever typical in her day, in her life. There was no such thing as monotony in the lifestyle of a Capulet cop such as she. Sitting up straighter, the blonde’s arms fold one over the other, the small twitch at the corner of her mouth barely giving the possibility of a half-smile before it disappeared again as she spoke. “I wake up at four, turn on my kettle and make a sort of ‘tea’ for myself, consisting of lemon, apple cider vinegar, a few drops of liquid cayenne, and ground cinnamon and ginger. After a half hour of easy yoga, I make a protein shake before I work out with weights.” She seemed… Bored? Amused? The details of her life had never been asked about, and in her line of profession, the less people knew the better. But, perhaps, just this once, she would give details of her life. Her arm came out then, turning on the elbow to cross almost diagonally ahead of her, patting at the table gently per each of the next two steps  in her routine. “I then get ready for work, and travel to The Cathedral before I make my way to the precinct. From there, the day to day differs. But, every night it is the same. The Cathedral, tea, and a bath before bed.” Katarina blinked once then, pausing from the monotonous way she delivered the broad strokes of the painting of her life. “The life of a cop can be very boring, I do promise you.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far? | Her chin tilted downwards now, regarding them carefully with her crystalline gaze. In truth, her biggest mistake in her life had been wishing and wanting for a younger sister. What Katarina had wanted was a playmate, a comrade in arms that would be by her side. Yet with but a small age gap between them, the Du Pont girls could be no more different than oil and water. They did not get along– no, and they never would. “My biggest mistake in my life was not asking for a third sibling. Third time’s a charm, isn’t it?” It was a joke, mostly, a half-smile finally coming to fruition. It was no secret that she and darling Bunny did not get along. If Katarina could avoid her entirely, she would. And on a day to day basis, her little sister never came to mind– almost entirely forgotten with distaste until someone thrust that bitterness back to her mouth at the sound of her sister’s name. Or worse yet, the sight or sound of the younger woman herself. But it seemed almost sinister, with the way her head was tilted before Katarina brought her chin up with a haughty glance, words cutting and sure. “I don’t believe in mistakes. I believe that things happen for a reason, action and reaction, whatever path had been necessary to get there and to the destination are a part of life. What a mistake is, is a lesson to be learned from, and an opportunity to grow. Agree, or disagree?”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you? | This is the first time during the interview that she had furrowed her brows, head tilting to the side as she contemplated her answer. What was the most difficult task asked of her? Straightening once more, Katarina Du Pont had intertwined her lithe fingers together, seeming to toy with a few answers before one tumbled eloquently from her lips. “I do not recall ever having a difficult task asked of me.” As she spoke, a challenging glint came to her eyes, as if she were next to explain any or every task given to her and explain her case. Breezily, she continued: “Or rather, I can not say, retrospectively, that any task could be called difficult enough to stand out as the most difficult. My profession requires me to do what I must for the good of the people and for the sake of the law.” Who’s law? The Capulets? Verona’s? She wore a badge, toted a gun and around and yet– And, yet, she wore a cross ‘round her neck, spending time in the place of God that without question belonged to the Capulets. It did occur to her once that her vocation made her loyalty questionable. But, Katarina had never been one to lie. She could never be bothered to twist sly, pretty words like her sister. Brigette gave someone what they wanted to hear. And the elder of the two gave the incontestable truth. No matter how much or who it hurt. Facts would always be better than some addle-brained fiction after all. “ Does holding my tongue from time to time count as a difficult task? I assure you, even that does not happen often.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? | “If it were not the Capulets and Montagues, it would be another family,” Katarina shrugged, sitting back in her seat as she drummed her fingers once on the tabletop before continuing to speak. “We,” Was Katarina speaking for the police force or the Capulets? Who could know? “Protect the innocent and give justice for those wronged.” The blonde spoke with conviction, believing every word that fell from her lips without giving the other any reason to doubt her belief. She did what was right. The woman lived her life based on facts, evidence. There was no room in her mind for daydreams or pretending that the world around her was not a warzone. No, the blonde lived in the present, moving forward towards the future and whatever it might bring. “Living is war itself, is it not? We war within ourselves, push against the odds. I do not wish to see the uninvolved, the innocent people of Verona to be harmed. This place is my home– and what else am I to do than continue to live?”

In-Character Para Sample: N/A

Extras:

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[fucktgisshitok-blog]

Good For Nothing

A/N: Working hard on setting dates that my fics come out so just bear with my randomness until then. Catch up on chapter 1 here. @tephi101 made the moodboard. So all credit goes to her artistic abilities. :)

Warnings: Smoking, Language, Horn Dog Hvitserk's sexual content

Chapter 2

Victoria's POV

I walked up the steps that lead to the school and I looked up at it with dread. I should have just stayed home with Brad today. Biting my lip I walked in and was immediately greeted with the tardy bell. Fuck it. I decided to meet with my cousins where we usually met when we were late for our classes. Bjorn was already there. Ubbe was nowhere to be seen and Hvitserk was practically fucking a girl against the wall. I grimaced and rolled my eyes. I sat beside Bjorn and reached into his shirt pocket for a cigarette. I put it between my lips and he lit it for me.

“Where is Ubbe this fine morning.” I asked, taking a long drag.

Bjorn scoffed and took his own hit.

“Where do you think?” Hvitserk piped up, not taking his lips from his latest conquest's neck.

“Let me guess. With Torvi.” I stated.

Bjorn nodded, blowing smoke out. I knew he was upset. He had been in love with her for quite some time. Yet out of the blue Ubbe came along and swept her away. I patted Bjorn's hand. “It'll be okay. You'll find someone.” I stated.

We heard a door open and we all stiffened.

“Fucking bitch. Why can't I come stay with you?” We heard from the very bottom of the stairs. “I don't want to be there anymore, dad. Why did you leave me there with her?” I furrowed my brows and crept slowly down the stairs to see who it was. “Because Athelstan thinks he is my father and he isn't. No. But dad listen…”

You recognized the boy immediately. He was Aethelred. His mom was big on helping the school, money wise. He was a rich kid, what did he have to be unhappy about. “I only ever see you once every three years anyway. Maybe we can...dad listen to me, please. No…” You inhaled again and blew the smoke towards him. “I can't believe this. So basically you want me to ‘man up’. Un-fucking-believable. Where am I supposed to work here?” He asked, swatting away the smoke and then looked up at me. “I will call you back.” He hung up and glared. “Can I help you?”

I held my cigarette out to him. “Looks like you could use a hit or two.”

“Do you even begin to realize how fucking disgusting those things are?” He asked, wrinkling up his nose.

“Try it. You might like the buzz.” I stated.

Aethelred's POV

Did I want to take the risk of my mother catching the smell of cigarette smoke on me? Woman had a nose like a hound. Fuck it. I took the half smoked cigarette from this girl and put it between my lips.

“Now inhale.” Oh great. She thought I was stupid.

“I'm not an idiot.”

“By the way, the movie theater I work at is hiring. They are desperate for help so you can come with me and they will hire you on the spot. You game?” She asked. Who in the hell was she? Why had I never seen her before?

“Do you always listen to people's conversations?” I asked.

“Only the cute ones. Think about it, Aethelred.” She said and turned to go up the stairs.

What in the fuck? “How do you know my name?”

“I'm a psychic.” She said, before disappearing around the corner for the next flight of stairs. I was struck. That was the weirdest conversation I had ever had in my whole life. Yet my legs were following her path before I could even think. I rounded the corner and slowly crept up the next set of stairs before I heard talking.

“You do know that your father hates Athelstan right? And that Aethelred is Athelstan's stepson. Not to mention they were close knit with my father until he married that cunt Judith.” A guy said.

“I know. But he is intriguing and he seems to dislike them as much as our family does.” Her voice chimed in.

“I hope you know what you're doing.” Came the male voice.

“Hopefully him, soon enough.” I felt a blush creep across my face. I am a literal virgin. Not by choice. I have tried many times but was always cockblocked by my mother. I rounded the corner and looked at the group. Two guys and this random girl. I studied her face. “Oh my God! I almost ran you over today!” I yelled.

“Can you shut the fuck up man, before we get busted. You can talk normally. You don't have to yell.” Said the blonde boy beside of her.

“You also flipped me off. You really know how to woo a lady.” She said, pulling a flask from her friend's hoodie pocket. She popped open the top and took a drink, a single drop dripping from her lips and down her chin. I flicked my tongue over my bottom lip and forced myself to not wipe it off. She was beautiful. I was going to take that job just to get to know her better.

“So, am I giving you a lift to work or do we have to walk?” I asked with a sheepish grin.

Tag list: @tephi101 @jacksonroth @lol-haha-joke @two-unbeatable-beaters @supernaturalvikingwhore @misskalonthelady @grungyblonde @filthyshieldmaiden @unic0rn-world @captstefanbrandt

[hcneymilkks]

unrequited love | Cai Xukun

next

Once upon a time….wait no.

Ever wondered why the Gods and Goddesses of Greek Mythology lived on the highest mountains? There is a tale, a story not known to man as well as Venus, or Zeus. A tale locked up in secret, only for the curious to find it.

A cure to the deadliest disease planet earth has ever known.

That is if there is one.

________

The book, now unlocked, lay on the floor of Victoria’s room. It was old yet sturdy, with legible writing and dust.

It was Monday evening, the sun starting to set and the sky turning pink. Victoria breathed in the slowly musking air, the smell of flowers tickling her nostrils. An intern at the Athens University Museum greeted her with the opportunity of a research assignment. One that would boost her GPA and that would immediately qualify her for an internship as well.

That was a month ago.

She procrastinated yet again and finally agreed to the research, leaving her with only one topic everyone avoided.

The Hanahaki Disease.

Unlike the tale of Athena and Arachne mentioned in class, the Hanahaki disease was nowhere ever to be mentioned, not even once. The belief in Greek Mythology to someone is the same as believing in God as to Catholics. Both, if not all religions, stated that everything started from something, and their purpose on earth is unique and important.

The Hanahaki Disease? A curse and a blessing wrapped up in one.

The only source given? The tale of Goddess Flora, creator of flowers, first-known to die a death that lingered in the minds all who lived in Olympus. Most of all, Cai Xukun.

_______

Everyone had a purpose in Mount Olympus, some more than others. As to how it naturally was. It was seen to the mortals down below that arguments were always happening, the dislike for each other grew stronger with each passing moment. Mortals were used as game pieces, the Gods and Goddesses choosing a new path, creating a new choice. Yet, the entertainment of mortals was not enough to satisfy the Gods and Goddesses. Slaves of each were used, going against one another, choosing new paths, a whole new game.

But somewhere, along the edges of Mount Olympus, lived a woman who survived on instincts and knowledge. Some say she was accounted as a twin of Athena, the Goddess of wisdom, maybe even more powerful than her. Her beliefs were the opposite of others, the odd one out. Her subtle observations made it clear she wanted nothing to do with them. But never wanted to be a game piece. So she hid, far away from the main streets of humanity as possible.

But her routine would soon be broken by a man whom everyone feared. By the snap of his fingers, all humanity and Mount Olympus would be broken, as if harmony never existed.

Cai Xukun, God of War.

_______

What started out as a day of researching trees and how they collect water became shattered as Flora was led back to the main streets of Mount Olympus, her hands and ankles held with metal cuffs.

The people’s eyes never left the number of guards surrounding the woman, her head held low and her dress tattered. There was no use of escaping, for the second time wouldn’t work as they now knew where she lived.

The tall golden doors of what the mortals would call City Hall were opened and the chattering at the top of the stairs was abruptly stopped.

“Greetings, my gods. I have come with a concern for the wellbeing of Mount Olympus and it’s peoples.”

Cai Xukun went down the golden stairs, his silver hair reflecting off the already bright surfaces of the building. His sword at his side, his helmet tucked under his left arm. He reached the bottom of the stairs, the guards creating a space for him. The woman stayed looking down, staring at her dirty feet and bloody skin, her long hair covering her face.

“Raise your head woman.”

No response.

“I said raise your head!” He struck the woman on the head, her feet giving way and she fell to the ground in a heap of chains.

“Enough Xukun. That is not how you treat a lady.” Zhangjing, God of Thunder stood beside him. “Yixing, what is the purpose of this intrusion?”

The guard who spoke earlier, Yixing, explained to them and the other Gods who were making their way down that the woman was living on the outskirts of Mount Olympus. He then proceeded to dump out a heap of fabric along with her other personal items, one being thin wood slabs filled with notes Yixing was unable to read.

The woman, who still breathed, tried to get up but spears were pointed in every part of her, any inches closer and they would pierce through her delicate skin.

“That is all?” Zhengjing asked and Yixing responded.

The other Gods looked at the woman and her belongings, seeing no threat to the people. They voiced their opinions to set her free and live the rest of her life undisturbed. Cai Xukun had other plans.

“Ignite the fire, I want a public execution.”

“Xukun there is no need for one, she perceives no threat to us. It is a waste of resources and time.” Zhengjing explained but he paid no attention, leaving the other eight Gods to rest for the remainder of the day.

Heavy breathing snapped everyone out of a daze, all eyes on the woman wrapped in chains. Zhengjing ordered for her release, bridal carrying her out of city hall and into the spare rooms of the sleeping corridors, not without bidding the others good night.

Zhengjing laid her on the freshly made bed, asking the slave to bring in medical supplies and cursing when he should have asked Zhengting to come. He decided to let the woman be, not before brushing the hair off of her face and smirking.

“Oh, now you pissed off Xukun.”

_______

It was another day in Mount Olympus, the sun shining so brightly it passed through the thick white curtains of the sleeping corridors. Flora cursed under her breath when she switched to sleep on her left side, the sun hitting her closed eyelids and already giving her a headache.

A knock on the door made her grumble a little go away and proceeded to turn on her right side, instantly feeling a sharp pain on her lower side. She groaned as the door unlocked revealing Zhengjing.

“I see you’re still sleeping.”

She glared at the man, who already looked like a model with perfect hair and clothes so perfectly pressed there wasn’t a wrinkle in sight.

“Why am I here? I specifically heard from yesterday that Xukun wanted me dead.”

Zhengjing nodded, instantly remembering yesterday’s events. “That’s God Cai Xukun to you, and yes he wanted you to die but he doesn’t make the rules here.” He walked closer to her bed, the woman now sat up and brought the blanket closer to her as if it would shield her.

“I do, and my first order of business with you is to go to God Zhengting, he will fix your wounds. Then you will eat breakfast and come back here, we need to talk.”

“Well, why can’t you say everything now? We are already talking. Besides, I do need to go home and focus on my studies.” Flora crossed her arms, feeling even more pain.

“Go and get changed, the guards by your door will be leading you to Zhengting.” Zhengjing stood up and walked to the door, coming to a halt. He then shook his head and opened the door, bringing a whisper of wind from the cold hallway into the room.

________

Zhu Zhengting had a gift. A gift so different it could heal or destroy the people in moments. But yet, Zhengting was not Cai Xukun. He was his own person and kept reminding everyone. Unlike Cai Xukun, Zhengting could heal wounds so large and unpredictable. Yet, as all gifts do, they have boundaries. Boundaries that can break him down to the core if even tried.

Seaweed patches were put on the wrists and ankles of Flora, who changed out of her tattered clothes into makeshift pants and shirt. She was never the one to wear dresses often as her studies involved much more than sitting. Zhengting hummed a tune unfamiliar to her, as water rushed onto the seaweed and tickled her legs.

“What have you been doing to receive these little cuts on your legs and arms?”

She never spoke.

Zhengting didn’t want to push it. Instead, he continued working, catching the little cuts as well. He, unlike Cai Xukun, knew his boundaries. Learning from the last attempt of pondering with another woman.

He didn’t break himself, he broke her.

The sun was now high in the air, making Flora sweat. It was times like these where she wanted to stay in the forest. The tall trees giving her shade and the moss cushioning her back as she researched. All evidence of her wounds were gone, the seaweed dried up and taken from Zhengting. She stood up and stretched her arms, no pain.

“Thank you God Zhengting.” she gave a little smile and he smiled bigger, brighter than the sun.

________

“Why didn’t you kill her Zheng?” Cai Xukun was pacing back and forth of the City Hall, getting angrier by the minute.

It was their daily meeting. But this time, the air felt different. It was more constricted, more frightening. As if the silver-haired man was about to break.

“Xukun please if you would sit down-”

“Sit down? SIT DOWN! HOW CAN I SIT DOWN WHEN THIS OUTSIDER IS HERE? IN MOUNT OLYMPUS!? SHE IS A THREAT TO THE PEOPLE!”

“Xukun, if you want, I can always take her. Persephone always complaining about how it’s so boring down in the Underworld.” Xiao Gui comments, sipping his drink without a care in the world.

Cai Xukun stopped and looked at Xiao Gui. “That is a definite no. Before entering into the Underworld she must die. I’m not letting her leave just like that.”

Zhengjing growled and slammed his hands on the table, making everyone jump at the sudden atmosphere change. He glared at Cai Xukun, tension running through.

“We are keeping her alive and that’s final. I don’t care what you say. You will be in charge of her from now on Xukun. Her research is important to us now.”

“Mind if I intrude but what is her research about?” Linong squeaked. Although he posses the special arrows allowing for two different strangers to fall in love, he was shy.

Zhengjing smiled at Linong, softening his gaze. It became hard again after he turned to face the silver-haired man, who in response rolled his eyes.

“I believe, like Zhengting, is a healer. Yet, she does not possess a gift. Rather, she wants to create one.”

[micahrodney]

Thread; Chapter 5 - Fantasyland

This was a commission for MatthewCaveatZealot. There was a terribly familiar thump as Neil's head hit the ceiling above his bed. The same precariously rigged alarm clock on his loft bed was blaring, and the disorientation that came with it. Neil wanted to believe that what he had experienced was a dream, but he knew better by now. He was awake, for certain, but he had not truly been asleep.

The question now was how he made it back to his dorm room, though he feared the answer was obvious. Another day or so of him running on “autopilot”. Let alone what that must have been like for his family.

His family. God, he missed them so much right now. In the past week, his universe had expanded a thousand-fold, entirely against his will. All Neil wanted was the safe surroundings of his old family home. He wanted Travis's insufferable theatre music blasting at all hours of the night. He missed Dawn spending every hour of the night playing on the NES they had. Just as comforting were the random pop-ins from Kim, and the sight of his father hard at work, with papers sprawled all over the coffee table.

He wanted his mother. Just his mother being there. Her presence.

The hole in his heart was warmed by a bit of metal. It was then that Neil noticed that he was wearing an amulet of sorts. It was on a chain of silver and ended in a pendant made of some otherworldly metal. It shone as brightly as freshly pressed steel but had faint transparency to it. Etched into it with crystalline blue lines were several stars, connected by points: the Crossroads, of course. Roughly, they formed a constellation similar in appearance to the Southern Cross.

“Can you hear me?” Rem asked, directly into his mind. 

As the Somni spoke, the blue lines glowed faintly.

“Yeah,” Neil replied, dazedly. “Are you going to explain this?” 

“We simply moved this one to a more convenient position along this thread. But fear not, you are in your original world, as Nox promised,” Rem explained. “To this one's family, the transition was natural. That is to say, this one did not do anything untoward or unexpected in its absence.” 

“If we're going to be communicating regularly,” Neil said, exasperated. “You could try being a little easier to understand.”

“What does this one mean?” Rem asked, as patiently as Neil had ever heard him. 

“For starters, you could stop calling me 'this one.' You know, use 'you' and 'your',” Neil replied. 

Rem waited for a moment to respond as if he were trying to wrap his head around the new mode of communication. “Very well. Neil. I will attempt to speak more plainly to... you.”

“I appreciate the effort,” Neil praised faintly. 

“It is difficult for me,” Rem added. “Somni are not accustomed to dealing with other races. Your presence is honestly slightly confusing to me. It upsets our natural order.”

“Well, I can't exactly stop existing to make things convenient for you,” Neil retorted, thinking back to their first exchange where he had nearly been reduced to atoms by his soon-to-be mentor. 

“Indeed not,” Rem agreed. “Now are we going to spend the rest of the day discussing our feelings on the matter, or shall we get down to business?”

Rem was consistent, Neil had to give him that.

“Alright, boss,” Neil said, leaning his head back against his pillow. “What's the game plan?”

“The Crossroad we are concerned with is a crucial event that will take place this evening at your friend Damian's house. Something will happen, we know not what, but you must be there to witness it occur,” Rem explained. 

“Wait, that's it?” Neil asked. “You don't have any more information than that?” 

“We observe only the surface level information about these changes. I may as well ask you about the inner workings of an ant colony. It is up to you to be at the right place at the right time. The event should be significant enough that you will not mistake it if that is any consolation,” Rem said, without any sign of sympathy. 

“Cool,” Neil sighed. “And then what am I supposed to do?” 

“Binders can read the movement of the Crossroads and correct their course. When you finally do enter the critical moment your perception of events will be rather metaphysical,” Rem began. Here, for the first time ever, his tone softened somewhat, though it retained every ounce of its original rigidity. “The experience can be quite frightening. Just know that I will be watching over you and you will not be in any personal danger. However, if you fail-”

“I get it,” Neil cut him off firmly. He didn't need to be told. Thousands of timelines erased in an instant. Trillions of lives cut short. 

“Good,” Rem uttered. “Now what is your plan?” 

“I just have to get to Damian's house, and I know the perfect way to get there.”

---

Angie stirred her coffee idly as she listened to Neil's proposal. The tiny booth at The Junction was not an ideal location for the chat, but it was her lunch break and the poor boy seemed so desperate. It was quiet enough for two in the afternoon, with a drizzle keeping most people off the streets.

“So you finally want to join my game?” Angie summarized. 

“Yeah, I mean,” Neil rubbed the back of his neck. His own coffee was barely touched, but the aroma was satisfying and kept him alert. “Damian always talks about how great it is.”

“Normally I wouldn't let you just pop in last second. I mean our session starts in like four hours,” Angie began. “But honestly Jack and Violet can't make it tonight so it will probably be a good one for you to test out the waters a bit.” 

Neil knew about Jack and Violet but was not familiar with them personally. Honestly the fewer unfamiliar faces the better for his purposes.

“Is this just about the game?” Angie asked, leaning into Neil slightly across the table. There was a peculiar expression on her face which Neil couldn't read. 

“What do you mean?” Neil asked, somewhat defensively. He had made the decision to wear a blue sweater today and he felt like he was drowning in it under her gaze. 

“I mean... a little birdie told me about Erica,” Angie replied, tilting her head slightly. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

In all that had happened over the past week, Neil had completely forgotten about Erica. The girl he loved for years, and who broke his heart completely out of nowhere. He guessed he should still be feeling sad about that, and yet when the fate of the multiverse was at stake, a young romance seemed pretty insignificant.

“Oh, well yeah,” Neil shrugged. “I mean, I'm okay and all. It was just so sudden.” 

“Take it from me, breakups suck, but they also just kind of... happen, you know?” Angie said, leaning back in her seat. “It'll hit you every once in a while. You'll get reminded of them and what you had, and then, boom, you're crying into your pillow again for no good reason. But it gets easier, bud.” 

Neil coughed uncomfortably. He wasn't sure how to process this new and unsolicited advice. Naturally, his brain defaulted to asking the worst possible question.

“You've had a breakup recently too, huh?” 

Angie rolled her eyes at him. “Tactful.”

“Sorry, I'm just really bad at this,” Neil laughed. 

“Utterly hopeless. Too bad I can't teach you how to talk to women since that requires a brain,” Angie teased. 

The two chuckled nervously and there was a brief silence, during which a thousand possible conversations could have happened if either party knew what to say. Neil wondered for a moment how many different threads had just been created at this moment involving either of them being just a little bolder.

“So who all will be at Damian's place tonight?” Neil asked, as casually as he could manage. 

“Trying to meet somebody?” Angie teased. 

Neil blushed slightly. “I mean, I just wanna get a sense of the crowd, you know. Usually, when I'm at Damian's house it's just his folks and kid sister. And they have a pretty quiet household usually. It's-”

“Settle down, champ,” Angie said, knocking her fist on the table to get Neil's attention. “It's gonna be Damian, Ash, and Victoria. And now you, I guess. Which reminds me, do you already have a character created?” 

“Oh, uh,” Neil's blush intensified. Perhaps this was a bad idea after all. 

“Hang on, I always carry the Rules Cyclopedia with me in my backpack. Hope you don't have any plans for the next hour and a half,” Angie chuckled. 

---

Damian's house, or more accurately his father's house, was practically a castle. The post-modern nightmare was rigid white walls with wide bay windows and a wrap-around patio. It looked more like the office space of some high-tech startup than it did a residential home. To complete the effect, the home was surrounded by twelve acres of dense woodlands with neatly lined cobblestone paths. If Damian's dad had the power, he would have evicted the animals too. 

The main ground-floor living space was technically called the “sunroom” but all the shades had been drawn and track-lighting illuminated a rectangular mahogany table. Six comfortable leather desk chairs were arranged around the promising assortment of battle maps, books, bowls full of various flavors of chips, soda bottles, and even a tray of deviled eggs, courtesy of Damian's mother.

Angie sat at the head of the table, a beautifully illustrated dungeon master's screen creating a sense of distance between her and the players. She had dressed up for the occasion, with a grey wizard's robe draped over her shoulders and clip-on elf ears.

The players were more casual, the only one who really got into the spirit of the event was Damian himself, who was wearing a maroon vest and bracers to mirror his half-elf rogue character: Quem. He was sitting just to Angie's left and fidgeting with his dice.

Opposite Damian was Neil himself, who had, after considerable effort of grasping the rules of this strange new game, had settled on a gnomish wizard named Frobozz the Magnificent. This was definitely not his usual scene, and he much preferred games on a computer screen to those played with pen and paper.

But duty called.

At the end of the table were Angie's friends Ash and Victoria. Ash sat beside Damian, his chiseled features and slight stubble capturing the image of the rugged Marcus, the human fighter he played. He wore a black t-shirt bearing the album artwork from Metallica's “Master of Puppets”.

Victoria was dressed somewhat plainly in a grey v-neck and jeans but wore a black pick around her neck as a sort of talisman. Damian had mentioned that she was the guitarist of a local garage band, and the connection between these two and Angie started to make more sense. She was controlling Elwin, the halfling bard.

“Alright guys,” Angie said waving her arms in a grandiose bordering on the satiric gesture of welcome. “As you all know we are joined by a new face tonight. This is Neil.”

“Hey, man,” Ash nodded respectfully. 

“Welcome, welcome,” Victoria greeted. 

“Uh, hi everyone,” Neil replied nervously. “So yeah. First time.” 

“It'll get under your skin,” Ash said. 

“He's not wrong,” Damian chuckled. “I was just gonna play a session or two to see what I thought. Now I host the game.” 

“Yeah, Damian, I gotta say, this doesn't seem like your scene,” Neil said, feeling slightly bolstered by the presence of his friend. 

“Hey, I get to spend five hours a week pretending to be the world's greatest thief. What's not to like?” Damian shrugged. 

“He only started playing because he was trying to sleep with my friend Liana,” Angie corrected. 

“Lies and slander!” Damian chuckled a little too brazenly. 

“I mean, fair enough, you stuck around after she moved, but you were not subtle about it,” Angie added, fiddling with a sheave of notes behind her screen. 

“Get used to this,” Victoria said conspiratorially to Neil. “D&D is about 80% game to 20% trash talking.”

“Don't forget the snacks and beer,” Ash added. 

---

When the game finally began properly, Neil had to admit the appeal. Gone were the five random strangers sitting around a table. In their place were a team of four heroes being led through a fantasy realm through Angie's skillful story-telling.

The heroes had been tasked with the recovery of an ancient artifact from the ruins of a long-abandoned castle. Elwin, Quem, and Marcus began the session already at the gates of the castle, where they had left off the previous week. Angie used this as an opportunity to introduce Neil's character. Frobozz was a former wizard of the fallen kingdom who had been magically sealed away in the castle dungeon for many years. Now Frobozz was helping the heroes while he decided what to do with the rest of his life. It was a simple story that allowed Neil an out in case this wasn't for him.

But it was hardly necessary. Within the first hour, he already knew he loved the world that Angie had created. The castle was filled with deadly traps and terribly clever puzzles to solve. And when they reached their first combat encounter and Angie broke out the battle map and clay miniatures it went to the next level.

“I don't have a gnome wizard mini yet, so you'll have to be a goblin for now,” Angie said apologetically as she placed the figurine on the map. 

The battle was fierce, with the four of them facing off against four undead warriors, each one mirroring the players themselves. A hulking zombie still in plate mail led them, followed closely by two skeletons, one wielding a dagger and the other a bow. In the rear was a spell-slinging shade. And considering Neil did not know what he was doing, the battle was especially hectic.

It was about halfway into the melee when there was a knock on the sunroom door. Ash was explaining the finer points of the Magic Missile spell to Neil, while Victoria was desperately searching through her character sheet to see if she had any Potions of Healing left.

“Come on in!” Damian called. 

The door slid open and his little sister Talia entered the room. She was wearing a set of lime green pajamas and holding a stuffed Babar the Elephant.

“Talia, what's up?” Damian asked, walking over to the young girl.

“Mama needs your help,” Talia said. “In the kitchen.” 

The plan was for their family to have a traditional dinner around this time, but Damian would be excused to bring his plate back to the sunroom. As for the others, Mr. Levant had ordered them a couple of pizzas out of consideration for their palate.

“Hi, Talia,” Neil greeted politely. 

Talia froze in place and gave the unmasked expression of shock that only kids can truly manage. She then covered both of her eyes with her hands, and meekly muttered, “Don't talk to strangers.”

“Stranger? That's Neil,” Damian laughed. “You're being silly, kiddo.”

“Sorry, I'm not trying to frighten you, little miss,” Neil apologized, scooting his chair back in. 

Stranger... maybe I am a stranger. What if this isn't my thread after all? 

“It's about dinner time, isn't it?” Ash asked. 

“One-track mind,” Victoria teased. 

Damian ignored both of them and took his little sister's hand. “Alright kiddo, take me to her. Angie, I'll just be a few minutes.”

Neil leaned back in his chair a bit as he tried to consider what he would do as soon as Damian got back. He was in a tough fight and had no idea how to get out of the mess they were in. As his brain whirred with the possibilities Ash and Victoria were debating, he felt a pulse from the amulet.

“You are near the Crossroad now,” Rem informed him. It was clear that nobody else in the room, except him, had heard the voice. “It's not in that room. Somewhere else in the house. We still don't have a clear picture.”

Neil was taken aback. For a moment he had almost forgotten why he was there. Now that he was reminded, he needed a way to excuse himself from the group.

“Uh, I'm gonna go see if Damian needs any help,” Neil explained. 

“You can just say you're using the can, dude, we're grownups here,” Ash said. 

“Allegedly,” Victoria smirked. 

“I'm not the one who tried to seduce a dinosaur, okay?” Ash shot back, referencing some prior adventure of theirs. 

“It's a valid strategy, I'm a bard. I'm sorry you don't understand our love,” Victoria laughed. 

--- Neil slunk down the narrow T-shaped hallway from the sunroom in the southeast corner of the house into the open-layout public space. The western side of the house was an open space, with carpet for the living room half and tile for the dining room. Around the corner from this, facing the front door, was the stairwell leading up to the bedrooms. On the opposite side of this were the stairs leading down into the basement. The kitchen was off to the side of the dining room, on the opposite side of the house from the sunroom.

“So any bright ideas?” Neil whispered. 

“It seems likely that it is in the floor below you,” Rem offered. 

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Neil sighed, moving towards the basement door and placing a hand on the basement door. 

“Talia!” shouted Damian's mother from the kitchen. “Don't touch the pan, it's still hot!” 

Neil jumped at the sudden shout, and his fingers rattled the doorknob. Footsteps approached from the stairs above him and he quickly let go, attempting to act casual. He was temporarily frozen as Anders Levant rounded the corner.

Damian's step-father was an impressive-looking man; bald but with a neatly trimmed beard that lined features nicely. He was wearing a black collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and draped in grey suspenders that connected to his matching pants. The man looked constantly ready for action, and this was no exception.

“Evening, Neil,” he said with a smile, but with the grain of unflinching seriousness that coated everything the man said. “Break time from the grand adventures, eh?”

“Mr. Levant,” Neil nodded. In truth, Neil had only met him once or twice before. He was something of an enigma and wasn't one for large social gatherings. “Sorry, I was just going to see if I could help your wife set out dinner.”

“Were you?” Mr. Levant said, his voice raised slightly.“ I'm certain she would welcome that. You're going to make some woman very happy someday. My generation never got taught 'woman's work', you know.” 

Mr. Levant let out a deep bellowing laugh and patted Neil on the shoulder. There was a slight, reflexive grip as he reached Neil's neck. A tight pinch, and then he let go. His touch felt like lightning at the moment, but it was over as soon as it began.

“Right,” Neil nodded. “I mean, I figured. I guess I'd better go into the kitchen then, right?”

“You know where it is, oh grand explorer,” Mr. Levant nodded. It was a statement, not a question, and it carried the subtext of dismissal. 

“Yes sir,” Neil said, sliding past Mr. Levant and walking down the hallway towards the kitchen. He glanced briefly over his shoulder to see Mr. Levant sliding a key into the basement door and locking it shut. 

“It's him.” 

Rem's message was unnecessary, as he felt a powerful burning in his chest at the sight. The pieces were falling into place right before him, and now he just had to do something about it. He had to get into that basement. Something horrible was going to happen down there. But what? And how? And how did it relate to Mr. Levant?

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

“Pizza!” Talia cried. 

“Tiny one, that is for your brother's friends!” Mrs. Levant said. “You can have one slice after you finish your dinner.” 

“I'll get it!” Neil said, opening the front door. 

There was another way into the basement. A window on the lower level. It was narrow, but Neil was slim and he could probably squeeze his way through it. He just had to get outside and work his way around to it. This was going to require a distraction and the pizza man was perfectly timed. He opened the door to a haggard-looking college kid holding two large boxes and a couple of 2-liters.

“Hey sir, it's $18.78.” 

“I'll grab the food from you,” Neil said, taking the pizza. 

“You gonna pay for it too, Neil?” Damian asked, appearing from the kitchen and patting him on the shoulder. 

“I'll get you back for it, I promise,” Neil laughed, trying to hide his nerves. As he turned around, Mr. Levant was still standing by the basement door. 

Damian handed the guy $25. The window was closing, and he was being watched closely. He couldn't exactly bolt out the front door after the pizza guy. Holding the food and balancing the two-liters anxiously he moved towards the sunroom. Neil felt a knot forming in his stomach. His time was running out.

Then he considered another strategy. One born from desperation and recklessness.

“Rem,” Neil whispered, his lips hidden behind the two-liters. “It's Mr. Levant himself, right?” 

“Correct. What does that have to do with-”

Before Rem could finish his thoughts, Neil acted. Feigning himself slipping on his shoelaces, he barreled into Mr. Levant, food first. Pizza and soda went everywhere and Mr. Levant was knocked back against the rear wall, his head making contact with the molding of the dining room door-frame.

“Son of a bitch!” Mr. Levant cursed, as he reached back to his head. His hand came back bloody. 

Neil didn't look much better as he had hit the opposite frame, except his forehead took the brunt of it, leaving a nasty gash between his eyes.

“Oh! Daddy's bleeding!” Talia cried. 

“Dad!” Damian cried out, rushing past Neil to help his father up. 

“I'm sorry!” Neil blurted, doing his part to keep up the illusion. “I slipped, I'm so sorry!”

“Hey, is everyone alive?” Angie asked, poking her head out of the sunroom. 

“We've got to get you both to a hospital,” Mrs. Levant said, emerging from the kitchen. She had been through far worse and was doing a wonderful job of maintaining her composure. “Talia grab some towels. Damian, you start the car. Are you alright, husband?” 

“Looks like you got me,” Mr. Levant chuckled, calming down slightly as he sat up to stare Neil directly in the face. “Boy, you certainly do know how to throw a party, don't you?”

There was an understanding between the two of them at that moment. They were both going to play their part, certainly. But Neil felt it as sure as he felt the burning in his breast from the amulet, and the uncomfortable way the light glinted off of that phony smile of his. Anders Levant knew exactly what he had done, and – somehow – why he had done it. There was far more to this man than Neil could have ever possibly imagined. 

It's him, alright.

[wiym]

MY BIRTH STORY

Trigger warning/s: Birth trauma and postnatal mood disorders

Less than a quarter of healthy, low risk, first time parents will have a normal birth in an Australian hospital. With the recent release of Birth Time: the documentary in Australia and New Zealand, I felt that revisiting my birth story was timely.

It’s a clichéd adage but it’s true: for me, the birth plan went well and truly out the window. In fact, it was never let into the building.

EST. READING TIME: 5 minutes

In my early twenties, I used to avoid making eye contact with the family planning section at the chemist. These days I have an emergency stash of tests in my bedside drawer. I’m not even late - my period tracker says it’s due today - but I have a nagging feeling that won’t go away.

I pee on the stick, and there’s only one line. Oh well. I shrug, insouciant, throw out the test and go about my day.

Until four in the afternoon, when I sit bolt upright on the couch and realise that I, generally a rule follower, hadn’t waited for that result. In fact, the box tells you to wait five minutes. So much for sitting on the couch with an egg timer.

 I dig through the bin and in my shaking hands is a positive pregnancy test (note: those trying to conceive affectionately refer to this as a BFP). I test again, and again. I can’t wait, I race in my car to Victoria Park where my boyfriend of two years is working, with three BFPs sitting in the cup holder.

And so begins the uncontrollable for the Type A control freak.

In a pandemic, there are already things I can’t control. I’m redeployed to a different unit at my work and can no longer take potential COVID patients.

I’m anxious, exhausted and most of all - experiencing morning sickness that will turn into hyperemesis. Then, I have to take extended time off work.

As I do with most things, I jump straight into the deep end of pregnancy world and obsessively research. I avoid the foods you’re meant to avoid, and I buy all of the pre-baby accoutrements. Birthing ball, new yoga mat (and maternity yoga pants to boot), and the books. Oh my god, the books.

I do the hypnobirthing classes and listen to birthing stories while hiking with my dogs.

Being pregnant is simultaneously my new persona and hobby. I honestly still wouldn’t change a thing now, in spite of what I know, because even through vomiting for 7, nearly 8, months; I love being pregnant with all my heart.

I neatly type up a birth plan, beautifully formatted and fonted. Natural, natural, natural. No episiotomy. No pain relief. Don’t even offer it to me - I’ll ask. No interventions unless necessary. Delayed cord clamping. Immediate skin to skin. Quiet, low lighting, music. To me, this was a covenant between myself and the computer. Absolute, resolute and set in stone.

By the third trimester my partner and I have the hospital bag meticulously packed, nursery ready, and the big waiting game to do. Eager for our little family to be complete.

At my 38 week appointment, our obstetrician informs us that baby isn’t showing any signs of coming any time soon. I take that as a challenge and research a litany of labour-inducing old wives’ tales.

PSA: none of these actually work. If you are healthy with no complications, your baby will come when ready. Don’t rush. Even when you feel as if you can’t possibly be pregnant for single millisecond more. Your baby isn’t term until 40 weeks.

But here’s the kicker; the impending threat of an induction and/or caesarean looms overhead. I’m told I am a small girl. He appears to be a big baby. His head isn’t engaged at all. And that the clock is ticking.

Now I wonder what might have happened had that idea never been put into my head. If I had been given the space to accept my birth as it would come. Real birth. Normalised.

The pitfalls don’t just lie with mainstream media. You are being sold something. The expensive classes will tell you that having a natural birth without medication is possible, if you buy our book. The private obstetrician will tell you that you need an induction, an epidural, a caesarean; pay us.

At 39 weeks, the Friday before Christmas, my baby is showing signs of coming. What follows is 9 days of latent, or prodromal, or pre, or (my least favourite term) false labour.

On the Monday we go into hospital. With contractions 3 minutes apart, we are told my cervix and uterus aren’t agreeing. Simply put: head isn’t engaging, cervix isn’t dilating. And that I’ll know it when I’m in real labour.

During the week that follows I try exercises from Spinning Babies to get some relief from the round the clock contractions, Jack gives me massages and on one night I even give a glass of red wine and a bubble bath a go.

Websites that want to sell me something tell me that it’s because I’m too stressed for the labour to progress. Try our tea. 

Why are we capitalising on something so sacred as birth?

 I walk with one foot on the curb and one foot on the path - and I do this for kilometres. Through King’s Park in 30-degree heat. Along the coast. Around the neighbourhood.

On Christmas Eve, I can’t sleep, speak or move through the contractions and we wait as long as possible. We camp on the fold out bed in the living room (those without air conditioning throughout improvise), the birthing playlist quietly crooning and candles burning. I do my breathing and mantras; relax, relax, relaaaaax. And the contractions stop as abruptly as they started, 20 hours later.

I cry. Low keening, animalistic sobbing. I don’t understand what is happening to me. I don’t feel confident in making the choice whether or not to go to the hospital anymore.

They tell you the hospital is the safest place to birth and in the same breath tell you to avoid the hospital unless you’re damn near crowning.

I’m new to this. It’s my first time. I feel scared, unsupported and alone. I’m in so much pain.

I just want to meet my baby.

 Barely two days later, I shake Jack awake. I’ve got a Miss Clavel feeling. Something is not right. Instinctively I know that after nine days of exhausting labour that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, I will be too tired to push.

I call the hospital and ask if I can come in.

Have you just had enough? A voice asks on the other end.

So I don’t take the Panadol or the shower or the bath. We roll into the birthing unit and I’m put on the monitor. Like the High Striker at a fairground, I get the sense that the rolling peaks on the screen need to reach acceptable heights before I’m taken seriously.

The midwife is watching for decelerations, which don’t happen, but also doesn’t see any accelerations. My baby is tired, and I don’t blame him.

And then I am asked the question.

What do you want to get out of being in hospital today? Do you want to have your baby?

I nod, because yes. So comes the new plan. Break my waters and start the syntocin drip tomorrow. Temazepam and Panadeine Forte tonight. So quickly everything I imagined for my birth is going out the window, but I’m desperate.

The next morning we waddle into the birthing suites to start my induction bright and early. I feel robbed of the moment my waters break as it is cracked with something that looks like a crochet hook on a glove. With a gush and then a steady trickle, all the amniotic fluid keeping my baby safe and sound floods out. My obstetrician tells me it’s meconium stained, the paediatric RN in me fleetingly panics. But it is all systems go. I race from active labour to transition. I can only focus on the contractions.

I want my mum.

I’m offered the epidural I’d refused the day prior again but I shake my head. Not in the birth plan. Gas and air only, please. I end up screaming into the Entonox mouthpiece every 2 minutes and throw up all over myself before I allow myself the grace of an epidural. Which only works for about fifteen minutes before I’m once again writhing and screaming, one leg ice numb but the rest of me on fire. Intense pressure between my legs, the urge to push. But it’s only been a couple hours.

My mum arrives in the hospital. On the birth plan, she was meant to be waiting outside. She stands near me now, in the birthing suite.

I’m making noises I am not proud of and inform my midwife of my need to push. Oh, it’s too soon? Pardon me. Before the midwife’s assessment I steel myself to be told I am nowhere near, after a week of disappointment and being nowhere near.

Oh. You’re having a baby.

I ask if we need to wait for the doctor when she tells me she’s calling my obstetrician.

No, she laughs. You don’t have to wait.

With my knees to my chest, I’m told to stop pushing and so I stop. Afterwards, my partner tells me that our son was getting distressed despite my best efforts to get him out and the obstetrician was pulling back on the cord that was tight around his neck. And my poor tired baby’s heart rate drops dangerously. I’m given a deadline to push him out, but I can’t and I’m given the episiotomy I had expressly verboten on my birth plan. He is vacuum assisted out. He is safe.

I’m handed a small, beanlike baby covered in blood and vernix. I kiss him and end up with blood on my face. He doesn’t cry.

He’s taken off my chest and it feels like the longest pause before he lets out the best scream I’ve ever heard.

My mum looks at me. He’s beautiful, she mouths. Is he okay? He’s okay.

My partner cuts the cord. No delayed cord clamping, breathing is more important. Oliver is soon enough placed back onto my chest.

And he is beautiful.

What starts days later as the baby blues progresses into postnatal depression and anxiety. It took me a long time to accept what happened was birth trauma. That my birth story is ridiculously common, even amongst my group of friends, and that’s not due to our failure as the birthing parent. I can’t tell you how long I felt I only had myself to blame for having false expectations. And how much value I put into my ability to birth the “right” way as a direct translation of my ability to mother. How I felt that my son’s birth complications were my fault (it wasn’t). Too many Australian birthing parents are made to feel this way.

So I write this birth story once more, and I let go of what happened for my own sake. I didn’t fail. My son is beautiful, and worth every second of the agony it took to get him here.

A previous version of this post was published on my friend’s blog Mummy Neutral as ‘Type A and the Uncontrollable Pre-Labour’ in January 2021.

Please check her blog out as she posts some really raw and beautiful insights into pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

If you’re feeling distressed about anything discussed or about your own birth experience, please click the life ring symbol at the top of my blog for some helpful links. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 if you need immediate assistance.

Birth Time: the documentary is showing in select cinemas now. You can visit the website to find out more and if you have birthed in Australia in the last 5 years, you can complete a survey about your experience.

[dalekofchaos]

How Me and my friend would change Twilight

Here’s how Me and my friend @aspiecrow would change Twilight.

The short version. Make Charlie, Bella, Alice, Rosalie Jacob and Leah the protagonists, make the Cullen family pure evil and the villains and have the romance be between Bella and Alice.

Basic Plot: Charlie Swan is excited that his daughter Bella has arrived in the small town of Forks, Washington to live with him. However, almost as soon as she arrives and settles in, Charlie begins to notice that Bella has become unhealthily obsessed with a boy in her school, and that something isn't quite right about the whole situation. It is then that his best friend takes him aside and turns his entire world upside down.

Finding out that his best friend Billy is part of a shapeshifter tribe that has an uneasy truce with a clan of undead creatures who live in the town (the head of which is the town doctor who Charlie has trusted for years), and now it looks like the truce will be coming to an end, as the clan are grooming Charlie's daughter to become their newest member.

Rather than being a cop, Charlie is the Fire Chief in the Forks Fire Department.  

Now it’s important to know that in our version.....The vampires don't sparkle. The Cullens are not vegetarians, they are blood thirsty monsters. It’s only Alice and Rosalie who are vegan vampires.

Vampires in this version, their skin becomes vulnerable to objects that are blessed by the Church's priests or Shapeshifter Shamen’s magic.

Forks, Washington actually looks like it does in real life (if it doesn't work for the story, change it to another location).

The tribe that Jacob belongs to is explicitly called "shapeshifters", not werewolves. They also shapeshift into different animals, like black bears, cougars, and birds. It’s only Jacob and Billy who can shapeshift into a wolf. Leah shifts into a Cougar. Emily shifts into a Eagle and Sam shifts into Black Bear.

While imprinting doesn't exist, Sam and Emily are in an abusive relationship, with Sam acting like it's no big deal that he mutilated Emily. This is resolved when Leah and Emily team-up and kick Sam's ass, sending him packing.

Bella and Charlie actually have a great relationship. Bella is not emotionally distant or horrible to him.

Bella adores Jessica, Angela, Eric and Mike. She is never cold or distant to them and always lets her friends know about what’s going on after she breaks free from Edward’s thrawl.

Angela and Jessica belong to a Coven of Witches. The Cullens do not dare cross the Coven. Angela and Jessica are girlfriends.

Mike and Eric are just humans and Bella’s friends and Jessica and Angela’s beards. 

Bella is more likable rather than the complete sociopath Meyer gave us

Bella only starts to act the way she does in Meyer's scribbling when Edward starts to groom her for either eating or Siring.

The Volturi remain exactly as they are in the movies because that's incredibly entertaining. and the only good part about them cause the overacting was a work of brilliance!

At the end of the first book Charlie, Alice, Rosalie, The Coven and the shifter tribe manages to save Bella and kill James and Esme. The rest of the Cullens flee as it has never happened for decades for a vampire to be killed, so they flee and go to see the Volturi. 

Edward and James are best friends, partners in crime, they’ve feasted on many girls together throughout the years of their immortal lives. Together they were gonna drain Bella dry. But James would’ve been killed along with Esme.

For the next two books we have Charlie, Bella, Angela, Jessica, Rosalie and Alice become a kickass vampire hunting team. Eventually Jacob, Seth and Leah would’ve been recruited.

Jacob Black’s character remains as it did in Twilight and New Moon as he was horribly made out of character in the last two books. Jacob is Bella’s bestie. 

Bella, and Alice are in love. While Rosalie and Leah get together in Eclipse.

The Cullens would team up with Victoria as they all seek revenge for Esme and James.

There will be a subplot about Bella, Alice, Rosalie and Leah trying to get Emily out of her abusive relationship with Sam.

Thanks to Charlie’s position in the Fire Department and his friendship with the Shapeshifter Clan, Charlie gets his axe and the water in the departments Firetrucks all blessed by the clan’s magic. Charlie now has the means to fight the Vampires. 

In New Moon. What happens is Alice and Rosalie have to go into hiding to keep Bella safe as the Volturi have sent assassins. Bella still finds friendship in Jacob, but also  with Leah(this is Jacob being Leah's wingman) Bella would not be distant towards Jessica or Angela and would not seek thrills to hurt herself. But the big change is Victoria after she kills Harry, Charlie hunts her and wounds her with a blessed axe. Also instead of Bella cliff diving, Victoria throws Bella off a cliff and attempts to kill Bella. Alice had a mental breakdown and intends to go to the Volturi to do what Edward was attempting to do but she would've burst into flames and Rosalie brings Bella to save her. Alice tells Aro that she will turn Bella. Tensions are high when Bella, Alice and Rosalie return. Leah and Jacob. Alice and Rosalie tell them that they are not their family, they have been trying to leave the Cullens for a long time. So they come to a new peace treaty. Help them kill Victoria and The Cullen clan and there will be peace, but if Bella is turned, the treaty is over. Bella and Charlie return home and begin preparation into hunting down and killing the Cullens together as a family.

Eclipse. Riley would be genderbent because Victoria is a lesbian and James was her beard and abuser(if you look at her wiki it says James only saw her as a trophy and an asset). Moving on. The plan to use an army of Newborn Vampires would remain the same. Rosalie and Leah would begin a relationship to the shock of the tribe, Alice and Jacob. Absolutely no one keeps Bella in the dark. Alice tells Bella everything while they visit Renee. There is no love triangle. Angela and Jessica have cast a protection spell on Bella and Charlie. Jacob is trying to keep Bella safe and does not want her to be a casualty of a war if the treaty fails. It's basically a team up of Bella, Alice, Jacob, Angela, Jessica, Rosalie and Leah. Charlie’s Firefighting team using the blessed water easily wipes out the Newborn army. After the Newborn army have been destroyed. Everyone is surprised that only Victoria and Riley are there. The rest of the Cullens are nowhere to be found.  Given her advanced age, Rosalie easily kills Riley. While Victoria closes in on Bella, Angela, Jessica, Alice and Rosalie are drained from fighting Riley and the army, and Victoria shatters Jacob's collar bone. But to Victoria's surprise Bella and Charlie together manages to kill Victoria using everything they learned together and what Charlie taught Bella. They manage to save Jacob in time. Bella and Alice sleep peacefully as the threat for the moment is over. But Alice and Bella share a collective dream. Edward. He simply tells them “I’ll see you soon.” But.... that wasn’t all. They see Edward in the home of Renee and leaves you to assume the worst. End of Eclipse.

Breaking Dawn. It begins with Renee's funeral. Bella is both heartbroken and outraged. Edward has taken nearly everything from her, so now it's Bella's turn to hurt him and avenge Renee. Breaking Dawn signifies The Cullens' return and they cut a bloody path in Forks. Carlisle kills Billy while Jacob is forced to watch and helpless to do anything. Jasper and Emmett slaughter Sam's pack. Jacob, Leah and Seth are the only survivors. I wasn't kidding when I said The Cullens would be pure evil. This is their revenge for Esme and driving them out of Forks. They have been seeking the Volturi's permission for their revenge, they used Victoria and Riley as their pawns and when that failed. They have returned. To kill Bella, Charlie and her allies one by one. Edward kills Eric, and Mike to punish Bella sending her calling cards to let her know he was the one who killed them. Edward would never dare mess with the Witches, so he just hits them where it hurts by killing Mike and Eric. Edward wounds Charlie, but not kills him. Now it's time to strike back. The Coven will keep The Volturi at bay. To prepare Bella. Alice has no choice but to turn Bella. Her shield abilities as a vampire will come in handy against Edward's mind games. Jacob and Leah hunt and corner Jasper and rip him apart like a ragdoll. Rosalie visits Emmett. Rosalie kills him and shows no remorse and throws her ring into the fire with Emmett. Alice finally confronts Carlisle. Remembering everything he has made her done and everything he has done. Carlisle greets her as he always has. As his play thing and "child" and scolds her for her treachery. "you will all pay for what you did to your darling mother" Tells her what Edward intends to do to Bella. "my beautiful Edward intends to make your Bella suffer before he kills her" and they finally fight. Carlisle spats out every form of abuse at Alice, saying he should have left her to die in the asylum and Alice finally overcomes her fear and kills Carlisle. Alice kills her abusive father and she is finally free from her past. And to the finale. Bella, Charlie and Edward. Bella goes to the Cullen estate to kill Edward. Edward plays his mind games with Bella. Telling him all this death and destruction is her fault. All she had to do was die by his and James' hands and everything would've gone perfect but she ruined everything. Bella shuts everything out. It finally ends with Bella beating Edward and venting out her rage and frustrations on Edward and together with Charlie, they decapitate Edward, finally killing him. Bella's last words to Edward is "that was for my mother, you son of a bitch" Bella kills her abuser and finally the Cullen clan are killed for good. Breaking Dawn ends with Bella and Alice and Rosalie and Leah's weddings....and Aro marrying them off because that's how extra Aro is

Now onto The Cullen family.

Carlisle. Okay so we know that he and his father were priests. Now this is where everything changes, as a vampire Carlisle is an emotionally and mentally manipulative monster.  Carlisle used his position as priest as a mask and to hunt humans. Carlisle then kills his way to become a doctor as he thought that religion became boring and the long con is no longer fun to him and decided to evolve and has been feeding on Forks ever since. Carlisle only chooses to sire the absolute worst of human society as he feels he should only be in the presence of monsters such as himself. 

Esme. As a human, she was a black widow in Forks.  She just so happened to be one in Carlisle's flock and he found out and it attracted him and decided to turn her and they were partners in blood ever since.

Edward is a complete and utter bastard. His past is rather than being a victim of the Spanish plague, he took part in the Spanish Inquisition torture as a human and as a vampire, he is on Angelus levels of awful. Rather than spending his immortality going to school for the rest of his life, there is an actual purpose for that. That is how he chooses his victims. He uses his charming good looks and charm as a lure for his victims, his victims as a trade mark being high school girls. When they are under his thrall, they are not themselves. They are distant, codependent on Edward, high and mighty, get them to push everyone away, so when he gets what he wants, nobody looks that deep when they disappear.  He is much like he is in actual continuity, only we are supposed to see how he treats Bella as horrible because it is. He stalks her, he is only attracted to her because of her smell and watches her sleep cause seeing his prey sleep is amusing to him. We are not supposed to think this is cute, we are meant to see the way he treats her and his victims as wrong and abusive. He lures them in, gets them under their thrall and when they push everyone away, he kills them, however, with Bella he thought differently, he wanted to turn her or he just wanted to slowly drain her until there was nothing left.

Rosalie was born into a wealthy family and lived through the great depression. The attention she got due to her upbringing made her self-absorbed, shallow, and materialistic.While her family wanted more, Rosalie was content of being Rosalie. Rosalie was in a loveless relationship and Rosalie was raped by her fiance and his drunk friends. Eventually Rosalie would kill them one by one and saving her fiance for last. Carlisle turns Rosalie just because he feels like he can manipulate her and turn her into a monster like the rest of the family. But Rosalie did not want to be like the rest of the Cullens. After avenging her rape and murder, she did not want to feed on a human being, Rosalie would choose to feed on animals instead and the only one she was close with was Alice. Alice was the only one she felt close to and eventually, Bella. Rosalie fell in love with Bella.  Rosalie knows all to well how manipulative and dangerous men are, especially from her family. So Rosalie would turn against her family with Alice and save Bella. The relationship between Bella and Rosalie is actually healthy and loving, by the end of the second book they become close friends and in the third book they stand together against Victoria and in the fourth and final book they stand united against The Cullen family.

Jasper was a Confederate soldier, only he would be as awful as the South, he was fighting for slavery and oppression and as a vampire he is so much worse, even taking part in the trail of tears which definitely gives Jacob’s family a reason to hate Jasper and The Cullens.  As a vampire, he viewed humans and shifters as beneath him and the rest of the vampires, so he would want to keep slaves to feed on. 

Emmett was a Redcoat....who also happened to fight bears. Go big or go home right?

Alice along with Rosalie are the only good vampires in the Cullen clan, and becomes a turncoat to aid Charlie and she saves Bella. I’d keep her original backstory cause that is what works.  She has no memories of her past life, only the knowledge that she was once in a mental hospital. There is a grave with her name on it, with her “death” marked as the same year she was put in the sanitarium. Carlisle takes pity on the child and  manipulates her to giving her a place to belong and at some point she stopped hunting humans and only fed on animals or blood from the morgue. She grew to love Bella and finally found a way to get out and to save Bella with Rosalie, there is a lot of distrust, but eventually everyone joins forces at the end.  Bella, and Alice, Rosalie and Leah all marry They all love each other. Together they all fight The Cullens, and Victoria.