#HELP MEEEE LMFAO

[crazylazycorgi]

Discovery collab Kaveh you mean the world to me.... 🥹💕🌎

Pic w/ just Kaveh and w/o frame below, along with a sketch.

Tbh I just like drawing his hair so... 😛

Here's the sketch cause the art climate is full of shit.

[demonixoverlord]

cant wait to be able to follow the cool artists that are "18+, minors DNI"

mainly cus I like their art but I don't wanna be like .. yeeted into the oblivion lmfao

isn't it great following a cool artist and then accidentally realizing they're "18+" and you unfollow bc you don't wanna be thrown into the void lmfaooo

could be just me but I hope they know I just really liked their art and am not trying to be like "hehehe adult art" lollllll

[dipperpinesrpblog]

It's refreshing that you don't know what a molotov cocktail is.

wait NO I DO OH MY GOS IM STUPID.I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.SORRY IM REALLY TIRED RECENTLY.

[tokagrem]

WHY DO THEY INSIST ON PUTTING "LEAGUE OF LEGENDS" ON EVERY PIECE OF MERCH 😭😭😭😭 SHUT UUPP I DONT NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW I LIKE THIS DOGSHIT

[wakaposting]

just had the most crystal clear moment of hypocrisy in my entire life. was sitting here like 'oh you know waka and shiba would be an interesting pair of characters to think about but their age difference weirds me out a little bit'. really???? ms. wakaposting dot tumblr dot com is gonna say a five year age difference is a little weird???? yrwk has cooked me beyond recognition

[formulamar]

puppy love (but it’s cats!) part 1

max verstappen x vet!yn

fc: girls from pinterest

summary: as a Monaco native, Yn has had her fair share of encounters with F1 drivers. and as a vet, she has even fostered close relationships with some of the driver's pets. what happens when she is introduced to a single Max Verstappen who has two adorable cats?

vetyn

liked by albon_pets and 2,568 others

vetyn we had the cutest visitor today! 🐱💗

210 comments

ynbestfriend: hard at work or hardly working 🧐

vetyn: you’re just jealous i’m not crunching numbers all day 🙄

ynsfriend: can’t decide who’s cuter!

albon_pets: Dr. Yn we thought WE were the CUTEST?

vetyn: i promise YOU ARE! also some of my finest patients 🐾

albono23: now i can’t help but wonder which sibling commented this 😭😭😭

rumorhasitf1

liked by lion33, maxiellvr and 4,672 others

rumorhasitf1: 🚨 RUMOR HAS IT 🚨

Nearly 7 months after his dramatic split with his ex-girlfriend, it appears like Max is on the hunt for love 👀. Sources confirm the World Champion has recently joined the popular celebrity dating app Raya and he has been spotted out on a few dates. Is it possible we might see a new face in the RB garage soon?

531 comments

maxiellvr: lowkey i feel like he's going to end up dating who we least expect

30three: like Kendall Jenner or something 😭

rbgirl: no because when i saw that TikTok with his Raya profile I actually jumped!!!!

dutch1: sooooooooo who's gonna help a girl out and let Max know i'm free any day of the week!

vermax: no fr I wish he would do a Jeremy Fragrence type thing so I could apply to be his girlfriend 😒

verstappen4life: NOT THE JEREMY FRAGRANCE LMAODHJ

maxisfast: I never thought this day would come...@/maxverstappen1 OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU

frmlamax: yeah so, actually, he was on those dates with me sos xx

jimandsas1: hey, girly! so I know we don't know each other but...

maxstap1: dates. DATES. we all see that s at the end of DATE right? oh those lucky girls...

twitter

vetyn’s story

translation: “new client”

twitter

vetyn

liked by lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux and 2,954 others

vetyn: joyeux anniversaire à moi 🥳 (happy anniversary to me)

it's been 6 AMAZING years of having my dream job. feeling very grateful today. can't wait to keep learning, growing and meeting adorable friends 💘

245 comments

lilymhe: LETS GOOOO YN! WE'RE ALL SUPER PROUD! (but mostly me duh)

vetyn: thank you! you're my fav! (don't tell alex pls)

alex_albon: Oh ok. Cool. We pick favorites now.

char16: now WHAT is going on in the albono house 😭

ynbestfriend: ily girl. can't wait to celebrate you this weekend 😝

liked by vetyn

alexandrasaintmleux: Félicitations, belle ❤️‍🔥

vetyn: merci belle 🥰

albon_pets: Thanks for everything, doc 🤓

liked by vetyn

ynfriend: so proud!

roscoelovescoco: All's My Love's Dr. YN

vetyn: Awwww thank you Roscoe, I miss ya!

russ63: NOW WHY AM I JUST FINDING OUT YN IS ROSCOE'S VET TOO????

ham1lton: omg yes. I believe he was the og f1-related client and then it was the albon pets

ynsister: love you. almost reunited 🇪🇸

liked by vetyn

rumorhasitf1

liked by maxlov3r and 5,728 others

rumorhasitf1: Looks like Max Verstappen had a wild night out celebrating his 6th win of the season in Barcelona 👀

1,034 comments

rbgirl: THAT SHOULD BE ME HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE ME MAKING YOU LAUGH THAT SHOULD BE ME THIS IS SO SAD THAT SHOULD BE MEEEEEE THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE

maxstap1: you're so quick with it LMFAO

maxlovescats: WOAH I JUST WOKE UP?????

butfirstmax: honestly i'm so happy for him go live your life king

maxisfast: is this like his frat boy era

hamstappen: I swear if they're back together and I threw that party for nothing

hamstappen: just kidding hehe

rbgirl: HELPPPPPPPPPP

vermax: rb pr team prob freaking out as we speak

30three: and Max is sleeping soundly

sluttycatdad: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

maxielno1: okay now... doesn't that kinda look like....

justaninchident: that's what I was thinking too

username: wait who

maxielno1: his ex

maxverstappen1

liked by redbullracing, vetyn and 1,309,672 others

maxverstappen1: Barcelona, that was fun! Let's do it again?

23,672 comments

redbullracing: 🦁

rbgirl: oh trust we saw it was fun

maxisfast: 😭

maxielno1: SIMPLY LOVELY 🥰

f1fan: LETS GO CHAMP 🙌

vetyn: mega! 💙💙

maxverstappen1: 😘💙

albono33: YN?

rbgirl: idk who this is but what is happenig here....

30three: so proud of you! 🧡

verstappen4life: yes! let’s do this everytime!

vermax: great job!!!! glad you had fun 😉

martingarrix: Mate how was the club?

maxverstappen1: Pretty good 😂

f1fan: 🔥🔥🔥

somedutchguy: LEGEND

twitter

vetyn's story

to be continued..

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩

a/n: y’all probably caught on already but this is set during the 2024 season anddddd i just wanted to do one part but tumblr is super annoying with the image limit 🙁 but lmk if you’re interested in a pt. 2! have a great day/night 🫶💐

[kirain]

My sister in CHRIST you are the QUEEN of cockblocking! You write the most mouthwatering, romantic frickin foreplay I've ever read but then you just...CUT TO BLACK??! STOP FRUSTRATING MEEEE!!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

LMFAO!

This is such a compliment! But also, I'm so sorry—that's all you get. 😅

I'm not a smut writer and the best I can do is tasteful, suggestive scenes like this:

Based on @vonspe's art here.

Scipio found Emmrich in their quarters, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back turned. At first, he merely seemed lost in thought, but as Scipio stepped closer, he caught the trembling of his shoulders, the frantic, uneven breaths.

"Emmrich?" he called gently.

The older man stiffened, hastily wiping his face. "Yes, darling?"

His voice was rough, his forced poise unconvincing.

He didn't turn around.

"You're crying," Scipio frowned.

"It's nothing." Emmrich lied, composing himself. "I just—" He shook his head. "No, it's nothing."

Scipio walked around the bed, but Emmrich wouldn't meet his gaze, his damp lashes lowered, his lip quivering.

It hurt.

"Is it the battle?" He knelt between Emmrich's legs, placing his hands on his knees. "Come on, talk to me. Are you scared?"

A long silence stretched between them. Then, finally, Emmrich sighed, his voice raw.

"I'm scared to die." He swallowed. "But more than that... I'm scared of losing you."

Scipio blinked in surprise before his expression shifted, a smile tugging at his lips—not out of amusement, but tenderness.

"Don't work yourself up over nothing." He ran his hands up and down Emmrich's thighs, a slow, comforting motion.

Emmrich groaned. "I can't help it. What if—?"

"'What if', 'what if'. What if we win?" Scipio teased.

"Darling—"

"No more 'what ifs'. I want to enjoy my night with you, not fret about things that won't happen."

"You can't promise that."

"And you can't promise we'll fail." Scipio grinned, raising to his feet. "So let's focus on the here and now."

He cupped Emmrich's face, brushing his thumb over the wetness on his cheek, then leaned in, kissing him softly. Emmrich let out a quiet moan, gripping Scipio's wrists.

"Darling, we mustn't—mph."

Scipio deepened the kiss, starved and lingering, coaxing Emmrich away from his darkest thoughts.

"Amore," he growled.

His hands moved with care, unbuttoning Emmrich's shirt, then pushing it from his shoulders. He felt the tension in his body, the weight of his fears still clinging to him—so he took his time, peeling away the layers of fabric, pressing kisses along the newly bared skin. Emmrich's breath hitched as Scipio's lips brushed over his collarbone, down to his chest, each touch chasing away the shadows of tomorrow.

"Don't cry anymore," he begged. "Just feel good."

Emmrich moaned again, louder, losing control as the elf's hands drifted to the small of his back, to the nape of his neck, kneading the sensitive pressure points into a loose, tingling surrender.

"Darling, I—ah!"

His toes curled. His throat tightened. His fingers tangled in Scipio's dark hair, a desperate need replacing his sorrow.

"That's it. Be alive with me tonight."

Scipio eased him onto the bed, his legs hugging his hips, his fingers basking in the warmth of his skin.

In that moment, all Emmrich could do was embrace him, soothed by the beating of his heart. As Scipio's lips trailed along his shoulder, sucking and nibbling, he shivered with anticipation.

And before he realised it, his fear was silenced by hope.

[auggieblogs]

Where’s the trophy? | MV1 Instagram au

Max Verstappen x fem! reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚ In which they both are world champions

Author’s note: Hiii, my loves. I hope everyone is doing good. First of all thank you so much for 1k followers, I love you all so much❤️‍🩹. This is not my best work so, apologies in advance!!!

Also this was requested by lovely @sm3156 🥰 (thank you bubs). I had fun writing it<3

―୨୧⋆ ˚masterlist

maxverstappen1

liked by virat.kohli, oscarpiastri and 567,771 others

maxverstappen1 Big congratulations to team India!!!🇮🇳 and my lovely wife. I couldn't be more proud, nothing but love for you❤️

tagged indiancricketteam and yourusername

comments:

username what a match, well played y/n!!!

username please this match had me biting my nails and everything

username just like max

username lmfao he was STRESSED 😭

maxverstappen1 I was actually about to throw up ☝🏻

username max is my favourite wag 🫶🏻

*liked by yourusername*

username like husband like wife (world champions)

virat.kohli Well done, champs. Y/N you're a ⭐

*liked by maxverstappen1 and yourusername*

yousername ❤️❤️❤️

username take a bow everyone

username im not even a cricket fan but i watched it for y/n and it was so worth it

username max giggling like a little girl every time y/n blew him a kiss was my highlight

yourusername So glad you were here to witness it💖

*liked by maxverstappen1*

maxverstappen1 No where I'd rather be.

username she knows how to ball...and bat

username scoot over max verstappen, she's our wife now

username feeling proud indian armyyyy (IYKYK)

oscarpiastri 🏆🇮🇳

username Y/N L/N THE WOMAN YOU ARE!!!!

yourusername

liked by landonorris, redbullracing and 456,332 others

yourusername My world champion❤️‍🔥 no. 1 looks great on you!!!

tagged maxverstappen1

comments:

username they are so alchemy coded OMFG

username WHERE'S THE TROPHY HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO MEEEE

redbullracing When both of them are world champions>>>

username redbull admin is the biggest y/n & max shipper

username max verstappen i was always familiar

maxverstappen1 Had to live up the L/N name😉

yousername I'm a very proud wife;)

username he is so fucking hot my god

usernmame my fantasy threesome actually.

danielricciardo our* world champion🙄

yousername no sharing tonight im afraid🤷🏻‍♀️

username WOAHHHHH ITS A FAMILY SHOW

username or is it???

username she's literally not better than max, we all saw you throwing away your headsets y/n😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username she was about to commit crimes after that horrible pit stop 💀

yourusername i was pissed okay 😞

username HELP they are equally whipped for each other

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 175 spoilers and thoughts but it's nothing really serious i just really enjoyed this week LMFAO and more below the cut

.

.

.

i need it to be known that this panel was the thumbnail for the ep and i was . so confused. bc wow that expression is not one u usually see on javier but also considering what happened in the angel arc,,, maybe,,, he's learning to be more like lloyd for real after all,,, LMFAOOO

and then it turned out it was just the spirit king's perception of him AHAHAHAHA the other two panels showing that were good too,,, wow,,, whats wrong with him,,, with THEM,,, /j genuinely the gags where javier looks lowkey like a fucking thug are so silly funny WAHAHAHA

they say the more u spend time w ur loved ones the more u become like them,,, or something like that. idk thats just what i heard HAHA

and jesus christ yeah okay when you look at lloyd's construction from this lens. yeah. the spirit king does have a very very good point about protecting nature from forces like this,,, lloyd buddy you've been fucking with nature a lil too much cool it a lil bit ur making spirits mad sob sob sob

i do hope that lloyd and the spirit king are able to come to a compromise? cause im sure lloyd wouldn't just,,, fuck up nature just Cause right,,, right,,,,,,? he's a good enough guy,,,,,,,,,,,, right,,,,,,,,,,,

speaking of the spirit king. oh my god that's just fucking ice king . cmon now HAHAHAHA

the resemblance,,, just enough to avoid copyright probably. thats so silly HAHAHAHA

it's ok mr spirit king. surely lloyd will. compromise. after u stop uuhh attacking ofc but like. yeah,,,,,, surely,,,,, <- so much copium oh my god please lloyd don't fuck this up LAKFJDLSDJKF

ALSOOO more world building reinforcement hehe, based on what we know about when the demon king prequel takes place, this dragon should be tyrannus!

i think the way u can tell too besides just Knowing that is the missing gem on the forehead; verkis has a gem directly on his forehead thats pretty bright (in both tged and dkc), whereas tyrannus has no gem at all! so this dragon in this ep is absolutely tyrannus,,, i wonder what else he was up to at this time,,, hm hm!!!

oh also,,, the estate citizens reactions to the snow piling on was actually really really sweet,,, they're so cute look at them,,, work hard play hard as they say!!!

i think it's really telling that they're able to play so freely like this even without lloyd's explicit say-so bc ofc, lloyd wouldn't force anybody to work in bad conditions,,, they know when to rest, they know safety like the back of their hands, and they know lloyd wouldn't make them work in a mf blizzard,,, :') true fronterans,,,

also the humans being absolutely drenched in mana and power is also incredibly funny . i am incredibly curious to know what kind of powerhouses came out of frontera estate in the years between tged and cpsm. this is so silly i love it

ALSO I KNEW LLOYDS SINGING WOULD BE A FORCE OF FUCKING NATURE IT TAKES DOWN SPIRITS TOO THATS SO FUCKING INSANE. alicia's reaction too fucking SENT ME bc i had forgotten that she technically had never heard his singing before LMFAOOO (in the bone dragon arc she had covered her ears w mana and was spared,,, my god,,, an atomic bomb of a weapon) the fucking timing of the spirit just. falling LMFAOOO

some insane fucking expressions btw. lloyd u never cease to amaze w how fucking monstrous u look sometimes. artist youve outdone urself again . im VERY happy we got something other than the open mouth ones (theyre monstrously good but like the spit freaks me out HAHA) so the grinning is. CHEFS KISS. lloyd,,, u really dont ever hold back,,,

ALSO ALICIA FUCKING SMACKING HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD AND THEN THREATENING TO NEVER SEE LLOYD AGAIN IF HE SANG. AND LLOYD'S EXPRESSION AS A RESULT. CHRIST LKADJFLKJSDFHAHAHAHAHHAHAA

THESE PANELS WERE SO FUCKING GOOD. LLOYD LOOKS SO DAMN DISTRAUGHT HE LOOKS SO UPSET HELP MEEEE . saddest fucking puppy ive ever seen jesus christ. HE LOOKS SO SAD,,, maybe he thought the queen wouldn't be too bothered by the singing since EVERYONE ELSE WAS but no,,, not even she can handle it,,, hey lloyd, at least javier is willing to appreciate the effort u put in by singing (not that he'd ever want to listen but y'know,,, its the thought that counts,,,)

like bro literally looks like this

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND THEN the moment, the very MOMENT that the spirit king determines that he wants to kill lloyd,,, oohhh it's over for him,,,

"HERE COMES JAVIER WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!"

GENUINELY THIS PANEL IS SO COOL TOO the build up to it in the episode was also really really good,,,, from a tiny twinkle to a zoomed in motion blur of javier getting ready to SWING at the mf i REALLY LIKE THAT

i went insane over this on twitter i was so so happy to see this,,, literally the very moment he detects any threat to lloyd, javier just KNOWS. he drops EVERYTHING and IMMEDIATELY RUSHES TO HIS AID. that's so,,,,, THAT'S SO!??!?!?,,,,, ACCUSATORY POINT,,,, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

fellas is it gay to know exactly when your friend is in trouble and immediately fight for him no matter what. /j /lh

i really like that lloyd knew immediately too. he knows his knight. he's well aware of what javier would do,,, he'd probably do the same for him,,, god they know each other so well. im so. they make me SICK. affectionately

and then the final nail in the coffin (in a very positive way),,, alicia wondering why she even fell for lloyd,,, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

she's questioning everything in this very moment and yet i'm willing to bet she'll just accept that this is how he is,,, alicia and javier shaking hands fr

god i couldn't stop giggling this entire ep. there were so many silly things and shenanigans in this ep while also getting into the start of smth to consider when they're building the railroad (i.e. the issue of construction fucking up the natural mountain/nature around them). i just had a lot of fun overall and i really really like that,,, im very happy :3 YAYYYY YAYYYYY

excited to see what happens next week,,, i really hope they come to a good compromise w the spirit king!!!

[uneatenclient]

murderbot tv show ep 5 reactions/spoilers under cut. i fucking love mb

oh? flashback?

goddddd it said "i'm sorry" before shooting itself last time i'm still soooo

'this thing is heavy' 'IT'S NOT A THING IT'S A PERSON' 'yes i know' ratthi 🤝 arada being firm on mb's personhood even under pressure

omg they're all so worried LITERALLY ALL OF THEM ARE ON THE VERGE OF CRYING

THERE'S TOO PURE ARADA FOR MY BINGO BOARD

holy fucking shit arada lmfao

but ugh. UGH. i don't want her here. the dynamic!! give it back!!

maybe i'll be lucky and it'll show how close they are by comparison? plz

omfg 'not unless you're stupid enough to do the thing you're doing right now. [biggest sigh] idiots'

we're one step closer to 'my idiots' and i cannot fucking wait

uh. guys. maybe. dont?

WHAT

bharadwaj???

not pin-lee and gurathin??? WHY THO

oh jeez

this is such pure corporate indoctrination. presaux just looking at each other like uhhhhhh

i should count how many times mb calls its humans stupid in this ep i think its 3 so far let me look

—

'despite my best efforts'

i'm reacting all over again every time i watch the eps i find something new and great

'fix me? why'd i even bother to shoot myself?'

oh that shot was fucking gross how did i miss that before

GOD THAT ACTRESS DID SOMETHING W ARADA'S VOICE THERE AND IT'S SO FUNNY AND REAL AT THE SAME TIME

yep stupid and then idiots ok 2 so far hello again intro

there's 3

"yeah that was preeetty heroic" i fucking love you mb have i said that recently

oh dear

TERRIBLE SHOW

how does no one know they have faces

HOW IS SHE SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE TEAM SAYING IT HAD A NICE FACE GET ME OUT OF HEEEREEE

also what adult says pee-pee

the fucking expressions on everyone's faces

WHAT

RATTHI

RATTHI OH MY FUCKING GOD

YOU SIGNED THIS THING TODAY?? YESTERDAY???

'okay this part was actually kind of entertaining' it fucking hates relationship drama AND gratitude but humans embarassing themselves? funny

ratthi's fucking forehead bruise

'this secunit it our friend' 'eh. debatable'

oh my god. ratthi with one banger after another this ep lmfaooo

MB PLEASE

i should count the sarcastic bitching as calling them stupid tbh we'd be up to 6 or 7

'oh n— hes gonna do it? he looks way too into this' botfucker confirmed?? ignore me

'nice'

'looking at their hopeful faces, i was glad i didnt murder them' camera/eyes shoot to lbb 'mostly

plz pin gurathing to the wall plz pin gura

ITS CRUCIAL TO MY ENJOYMENT OF THE STORY

the clearing of throat fucking hell

'uh oh' 'UH OH'

PLZ PIN GURATHIN

she agrees with me completely

BHARADWAJ AFTER ALL I DID FOR YOU

'i don't agree with gurathin' 'HA!' help meeee

gurathin's fucking face

SO UNFAIR

SECCY

FUICKING HELP ME

oh?

oh? the scene?

PLEASE

'i don't watch that crap' [deathglare]

OH MY GOD THEY EXPANDED ON IT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

the scene PLEASE PLEASE

holy fuck

holy fuck that was so fast??

THANK YOU FOR MAKING MB THE BADASS IT SHOULD BE

FUCK I KNEW I COULD TRUST MARTHA WELLS

did it fucking have its energy weapon ready to shoot him?? was that why the thing on its arm glowed yellow???

dude. 'i don't know what i would've done if she hadn't kept it calm' much? you would've fried his fucking brain?? badass tbh you deserve a crash out after living like this so long

sad it didn't add the 'but the others like you, and i like them' bit but i'll get over it

it has to admit it eventually

so completely avoiding eye contact

gurathin is so fed up. this is bringing back so much cr bullshit i can feel it. i bet everyone in the room could feel it. i absolutely get it godddd poor dude

that's the gurathin character arc i want not the fucking. mensah obsession. ugh

he fucking calls her mensah when he's mad but ayda when he's worried

god. mensah saying all that is WAY harder to believe seeing it than it was reading/listening to it. probably because everyone is much less well-behaved in the show

GET EM MB

yeah i fucking bet she was

IT'S EXPRESSING ITS WANTS SO FAST. FUCK YEAH YOU GO MB

gurathin and mb are such two sides of the same coin

you question her so much gura. the same way mb does tbh but it does it internally

oh no

oh no oh no

stop

don't make me watch this

stoppp

at least she's trying?????

LMFAO

NO OH GOD

IT'S FUCKING FACE

NEVER BEEN MORE SCANDALIZED OR HORRIFIED IN ITS EXISTENCE

HORRILIZED

the performance reliability tanking i'm fjkahdjsjdj

'first among the equals' is fascinating

awwww

OH COME ON

absolutely did that on purpose it was so insistent lmfao

the pout and crossed arms

they're so fyucking similar what am i gonna dooo

stop no

don't be weird

ohhhh he's mean he probably likes her less than secunit at this point

i do love him if i ignore the elephant we haven't come back to anyway

omg she's making it deal with family stories and oh nooo she couldn't possibly have a favorite

oh my fuck

'cuz most humans are greedy bastards' THIS BITCH IN ITS REBELLIOUS TEENAGE PHASE ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER IT WANTS NOW

I'M FUCKING IN LOVE

AND ALSO IT'S RIGHT

aww. baby's first conversation

gosh. gosh.

interesting. foreshadowing the other beacon drama. if this doesn't turn out worse somehow

.........oh

fucking. OKAY THEN

WHAT THE SHIT

sometimes it feels like they're fucking around with the order of things but it's just that they added in so much kinda similar stuff it's like getting slapped in the face

IN A GOOD WAY

BC WAHT THE FUCK WAS THAT

i hope mensah gets it to talk about gurathin i wanna know what she'd sayyyyy

and my bingo with 1 new star

[telugxrl13]

so...i just watched wicked! here's my review, with the goods and the bads. these are more or less in order. major spoilers for wicked below!!

disclaimer: i watched and am talking about this movie as a person who has not watched the plays or any content related to wicked before, and just knows the story of the wizard of oz. i didn't even know the wicked witch of the west's name was elphaba before this movie came out (it's never generally mentioned okay 😭) so that is how clueless i am. however, im kinda glad about that, because otherwise much of the plot might have been somewhat anticlimatic.

additionally, i am a naturally cynical person and even if i love something, i feel the need to point out all its flaws, so bear with me!

below the cut! bullet points because i felt like it

wicked was an overall amazing movie and experience, ariana and cynthia were outstanding, and i absolutely cannot wait for the second movie!

the introduction with the munchkins celebrating elphaba's death had me expecting her to die throughout the whole movie, i was almost certain there would be tears. BUT IM SOO GLAD SHE DIDNT!

elphaba being the child of a secret alcoholic affair was NOT expected, nor did i expect that to be shown. (plus it escalated so fast) random, but i had to say it 😭 and im sorta glad her moms not alive anymore

at first, i expected nessarose to be that one person in elphaba's childhood, i was actually really surprised when she wasn't. still, an interesting character who needs more recognition!

the fact that the movie was directed by an asian director has me so happy, because i also saw a lot of representation in the background cast! different skin colors, body types, hair colors (GINGER REPRESENTATION LMFAO), we got them all! and i was SUPER happy about that!

one of my new favorite quotes is 'well, bock, i believe strangers...are just people i've never met *hair flip walks off*'. like GALINDA HELP 😭😭🙏🏽🙏🏽 whyd i actually expect that to be some sort of inspirational quote loll

is there a reason why all the male extras were so zesty? like i swear, ALL OF THEM WERE GAY FOR FIYERO (and fiyero was flirting back). ESPECIALLY THAT ONE ASIAN DUDE WHO BECAME FRIENDS WITH GALINDA IN THE BEGINNING, his lines had me rolling lmfao

not the popular boy x popular girl until popular boy actually falls for the nerd girl trope...whyyy...also fiyero lowkey gave flynn rider vibes with that entrance (but i havent watched tangled either cuz i dont have a life or a disney account sooo)

madame morrible using elphaba, and the wizard being powerless? that was not expected ( though my dad anticipated madame morrible being 'evil' from the beginning, hes smarter than me )

someone would say 'save the turtles!' to elphaba and she'd be like oF cOuRsE and be so confused why everyones laughing 😭

"we're...friends. best friends" babes your lesbian i need them to both ditch fiyero and get together

defying gravity is HANDS DOWN my favorite song. NO ONE can convince me otherwise. its the most dramatic song, its at the very climax, and ITS MEEEE will always be playing in my head

SO IF YOU CARE TO FINDDDD MEEE LOOOK TO THE WESTERN SKIEEEES

fuck glinda and elphaba themes (unless someone wants to match freaks with me) A SHIZ THEMED 300 FOLLOWER EVENT (thats never happening forget i said that)

i need to see how glinda became the good witch and see elphaba saving the turtles animals cant wait for the next movieeee

anyway, thats it gbye! (ill probably edit this if i remember more stuff)

ps. i am extremely sorry to the people sitting near me in the theater who probably had to hear me sing a few times :P

[mangocurist]

CHIEFZYPIERCE IS LOSING 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

HELP MEEEE LMFAO LAV IDK WHAT U EXPECT ME TO DO HERE

[cobra-creampuff]

and now for more of the exact same thing.

late s3 canon divergence au in which we all live in a world of sunshine and daisies where mickey is allowed to a) be more three dimensional and b) have positive character development that isn't directly connected to his relationship with ian and also it happens when i say it does even though it's kind of really unrealistic and probably slightly ooc but again it's a world of sunshine and daisies and also it's been literally a full ten years since i've so much as heard his voice. cough.

uh so. yeah. late s3 canon divergence au in which mickey fights with ian about how unfair ian is being re: terry + svetlana + mickey staying closeted-ish + etc. idr the order of things but lets just say for the concept's sake that the divergence happens before the whole ian: you love me -> mickey: kicks him in the face thing because. *megamind voice* listen i don't really know where to go with that.

anyway so mickey tells ian to shut up and listen for once in his fucking life and then goes tf off about how marrying svetlana, claiming yevgeny, and staying closeted-ish (for now) is The Right Thing To Do, for various reasons. his own safety first, which it's pretty fucked up for ian to seemingly not care about, and ian's safety too, which is possibly even more fucked up for ian to seemingly not care about.

and then we have like four(?) options going from there.

so option 1 mickey's like: and also hey, he said he wanted to make sure mickey was okay but then three fucking seconds later started berating him. yeah, mickey was being stubborn and cold or whatever but jesus christ. and on that note, why was it so easy for ian to Be There for mandy when this happened to her but not mickey?? and then ian maybe is like that's not the same/that's not what happened (because it really seemed like he didn't realize that. it is the same and that is what happened. and like lmfao from later stuff in the show that we will simply pretend to have not seen, i know that's mainly because the fucking writers don't realize it is the same and that is what happened, and you know what they probably would not give a shit even if they did LOL. but i'm not bitter about it or anything. and since i'm ascribing to murder in real life death of the author here, we're going full watson here and. ian doesn't Get It because lots of people don't - obviously lmao - but he will!!!)

anyway so mickey is visibly devastated by ian saying this, and then he's bitter (just like meeee- wait i mean-) and laughs without humor about how ian is such a hypocrite. about how oh saint ian doesn't have any internalized homophobia. and ian is like what the fuck does that have to do with fucking anything, and mickey tells him oh nothing of course mickey is just talking shit like always since he's sooooo morally inferior and/or stupid and he definitely doesn't understand any of this. but hey! just as a totally unrelated thought experiment, why doesn't ian picture it with lip in his place and mandy in mickey's and with a male whore instead and just see what he thinks is so different/what he thinks happened then. and ian does and mickey sees in his face that he's realized, but he still wants to know. so he asks again why ian cares about mandy more than him. and ian is like well first of all i definitely do not care about mandy more than you and second we should talk apparently talk about this for real for real let's go upstairs for some privacy. and they do and it doesn't solve everything but by god does it help.

okay well that one's not really about anything being The Right Thing To Do, but you know. it's important to me! like i totally get that ian was going through multiple crises at the same time and dealing with the same traumatic event as mickey and also having an actual legitimate clinical mental break and experiencing a state of mind he had never dealt with before. it's not his fault. BUT. even tho it wasn't his fault he was still being completely unfair and none of any of that was mickey's fault either and it always bothered me that only ian ever got to be angry about it. but i digress.

now back to actually the sunshine and daisies unrealistic positive character development (but honestly like........ not really THAT unrealistic. To Me. like the only really unrealistic part is for mickey to be like. Informed enough for this. i think. but like. maturity and self awareness and honesty and courage and a moral code, all that is just maybe a little bit early to arrive here. i think it's an optimistic but not completely unbelievable divergence is what i'm saying! anyway).

so option 2A is like: instead of talking about What Happened and how much ian does or doesn't care, mickey starts talking about The Baby (who at this point is of course not born and i think probably too early along to be gendered let alone named). he's like what do you want me to do man. be just like your piece of shit parents and just abandon this kid because i don't want it? you want to be with a guy like that? and ian's like well it's probably not even yours, considering all the Factors. just get a paternity test and then you're off the hook. and mickey says, "don't be a fucking hypocrite, ian clayton gallagher." and ian's like damn. i want to but i absolutely cannot argue with that huh.

option 2B is more hurt/comfort than that and it goes: mickey starts talking about The Baby. and he's the one to point out it's probably not technically His or whatever. but. the chances that it's still a milkovich are. basically 100. and he points out if he marries svetlana, and he's on the birth certificate, and all around is legally the kid's FatherTM, then terry can't get his fucking hands on it. mickey has full parental rights. he couldn't completely keep the kid safe from terry, not without causing everybody - including the baby - a whole lot more danger right now, but he'd have so much more power to protect it than he otherwise would. he could make sure terry can't be next of kin if something happens to svet and mickey. he could make sure teachers and doctors and whoever else know not to leave the kid in terry's "care". even if terry himself changes his tune later for whatever fucking reason, if svet and/or mickey piss him off and he tries to take their kid away as punishment, or if he just fucking decides he wants another victim/pawn, or whatEVER, and he's the one to demand a paternity test, or if any other random john does, even if it ends up legally documented somewhere that mickey isn't the biological father as long as he and svet are The Parents from the start he would still retain custody and parental rights.

so. mickey marries svetlana. he's put on the birth certificate. he is legally the baby's father until such time as he and/or svetlana decide otherwise and a judge agrees. svetlana gets a marriage visa or green card or whatever the fuck and is now a legal resident. they stay married long enough for her to get naturalized as a us citizen. they get divorced, mickey no-contest hands over full custody to her, she moves to fucking socal or some shit and they never ever ever ever have to fucking see each other again. all her problems are solved, and none of the horrible shit terry put the rest of them through ever has to happen to the baby.

he can't let terry have the baby, mickey says. he can't. it's not fair, he says. it's not right. nobody deserves to be terry milkovich's kid. and sure mickey doesn't want it. he doesn't want to have to sleep next to his- you know, and no doubt svet doesn't want to have to do that either. but even though the baby may or may not be a result of. That. it didn't do it. it didn't do anything. it's just a baby. and mickey's voice is all raised - he's angry, he's scared, he's fucking righteous about this. it's just a fucking baby! its only fucking crime is being born wrong!

and. well. that kinda takes the fucking wind right out of ian's sails. mostly cuz it sucks all the air out of the room altogether. and mickey realizes too, right after he's said that, why he's so. uh. passionate about this. i mean not all the way, or just... he doesn't want to look directly at that yet. but ian can see it on his face that deep down he knows. ian can see it on mickey's face that what sounded like to him is exactly what it was. and maybe he breathes out the softest italicized oh (non-romantic) that has ever been spoken while mickey cringes a little bit and looks away, looks down, ducks his head enough to hide his face, enough to muffle his voice slightly against his own chest. he mumbles, "it's not his fault." he whispers, "he can't help it."

and what thee fuck is ian going to say to that? no? no, i won't support you protecting an innocent kid out of the long-buried goodness of your heart that i always knew was there and reparent yourself in the process? no, i refuse to be involved with you while you make an agonizing sacrifice in the name of kindness and healing, the way i've been demanding you do in my favor for months? no of course not.

but wait hang on i can fix this with the romantically-tinted option 2C, which goes like: mickey says he can't back out, he can't come out. he has to do this. and ian rolls his eyes or scoffs or both or gives mickey the fucking chin or whatever he does to indicate he thinks the reason mickey "has" to do this is because mickey's a fucking pussy and the only other option is to stand up to his dad. and mickey snaps that actually he has more than one (1) fucking motivation dickhead. and ian challenges him, all oh yeah like what. and mickey gets nice and right up in ian's face and gives him the fucking rundown.

i'm doing this because of you, he says. and ian scoffs again of course, but this time mickey just ignores him and steams right on. he says i'm doing this because you are. fucking self-righteous. and spiteful. and controlling. and fucking sadistic. and ian's like is this supposed to make me less pissed off. but mickey goes on. and you're kind. and generous. and god damn chivalrous, for fuck's sake. and so fucking brave. which finally shuts ian and his very, very loud facial expressions up.

so, mickey says. i know that you couldn't give less of a shit right now if svetlana has her kid taken away, gets deported directly into a russian prison, and never sees the fucking sun again in her life. maybe you even wish that on her. maybe i kind of do too. but i also know that if it hadn't happened to you, if you weren't there... if we were friends, and i didn't do this, we wouldn't be friends anymore.

he says, yeah, i love you, you love me. big fucking whoop. that happens to the fucking worst of us.

he says, i want you to like me.

he says, i'm just trying to grow the fuck up, okay? i don't want to be a fucking shallow selfish stupid god damn teenager for my entire fucking life like our piece of shit fucking parents. i want to be a man. and i- even if it's too late or this is too much, i want to be the kind of man that you would like.

so obviously ian is struck completely dumb. he just stares, wide-eyed and amazed and so absolutely wooed, while mickey finishes his fucking. grand speech. while he adds, quiet and exhausted and somewhat resigned, i'm not fucking ready, if i was ever gonna- but. it has to be done. she can't do it by herself. and there's no one else.

and. i mean really the inherent romance of "i want you to like me" and "i want to be the kind of man that you would like" would have been enough. but now here's this killer finishing move too. because you know fiona is ian's hero. and isn't that exactly what she did for all of them? with one fucking choice, mickey has already become the kind of man ian would like. and beyond! he's become the kind of man that ian respects. that ian admires.

and yeah, he'd like to still be angry. he'd like to still be exactly the selfish teenager mickey has decided he no longer is. and they are teenagers, still, so really that should be their fucking right! and also ian's fucking brain is on fire and he doesn't know what the fuck is going on!! but. well. he doesn't want it to be too late. he doesn't want this to be too much. he wants to grow up too, he's always wanted to grow up, to be a man. to be a good man. an honorable and reliable man. he doesn't want to be like- he doesn't want to be like their parents either.

and he wants mickey to like him too.

anyway. i think i'm clinically insane.

[vulqan]

i am the one who set up our digital forms for boarding and grooming pets, right. i set it up in such a way so that when the owner is filling it out, if they want to give consent for us to use photos or videos of their pet on our social media channels or website, they click yes, and then continue to the second part of the question, which is four sentences, each with a checkbox to click to affirm they consent to each specific thing.

i must reiterate that it is four sentences. total.

my coworker just checked in a man's pets for boarding and somehow the social media consent came up - he said "i wanted to click yes but then there was all that extra stuff so i clicked no instead. but it's fine for y'all to use pics of them." NO IT'S NOT!! THAT'S WHAT CLICKING NO MEANS!! and my dumbass coworker was like "oh well if he meant yes and he told me that verbally then i'll put yes on our physical paperwork 🥰" NO YOU WON'T BECAUSE HIS SIGNED PAPERWORK WON'T BACK YOU UP WHEN HE SUES US. IDIOT. RAHHH

sorry this is my uterus talking mostly but also my team makes me so angry i could cry sometimes lmfao 😭 help meeee

[fapper]

LMFAO HELP THE PROF ASKED US TO NAME FAMOUS POETS AND THIS BITCH FR SAID “TAYLOR SWIFT” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 SAVE MEEEE

[cdyssey]

Elsbeth (1.10) Reactions:

as always, spoilers under the cut ☺️

ANDRÉ DE SHIELDS!!! LAURA BENANTI!!

THIS EPISODE OF TV IS FOR MEEEE! <33

OH, YES. I absolutely adore that we’re not going to get the culprit straight off the bat. It’s a good and a welcome subversion

SKFJSJSKSJ, Elsbeth blaming her fashion sense on her knees. But also, that red ensemble is stunning.

Yay, Donnelly!!

Kaya calling Elsbeth because she knows she would want to see the festival up close. 😭

“Huh, have a hunch?” / “Ha, I usually do by now, don’t I? But I don’t.” And that thoroughly shocks Elsbeth herself. I really love that we’re getting to see her off-kilter and how it messes with her sense of self. Elsbeth KNOWS she’s damn good at what she does, and so when she’s off, she’s off.

wow, that pantsuit on Donnelly. 😍

“And because she’s good at it.” Kaya defending her gf. <33

NOT ELSBETH CRYING NO. I CAN’T TAKE IT!

NO!!!!

“Dont leave without saying goodbye.” You just kicked her off of the job she loves, man. You can’t say THAT to her too. 😭

“Can we still talk about the case?” / “um, I can’t really think about that right now.” Baby is too distraught to even think about solving high-profile homicides. :((

“Like combination nail polish and staple remover.” / “Sounds like a winner.” lmao

“And also in the healing power of the sun and certain textiles.” ALAKDJJAS, ELSBETH’S FACE

I love that Nadine is a dumbass.

Laura Benanti kissing Elsbeth’s cheek is the stuff of dreams!

The pawn owner giving a hyper specific definition of Pangaea lmfao. This show does throwaway jokes so well.

I could watch Donnelly, Kaya, and elsbeth forever. Best trio. Kaya and Donnelly’s deadpan humor just works so well as a foil to Elsbeth’s general cheeriness.

“I don’t respect it, but it works.” 🥺

Laura benanti is so hot

Aww, Nadine sharing cookies with Elsbeth!! Love that she unironically likes Elsbeth.

“I get hodgepodge and hot mess.” Don’t listen to them, sweetie. Ur a fashion icon.

Matteo making an Elsbeth inspired show!!!!! He gets it!!!!!!!!! I don’t even care if he’s the murderer!!!!!!! (He so totally is.) He gets it!!!!!!!!

Elsbeth’s reluctance immediately turning into eagerness when Matteo offers up Nadine as her fashion coach. I know what you are!

“And I saw your sports illustrated spread. That bathing suit totally showed your—“ ELSBETH GESTURING TO HER WHOLE MIDSECTION. HELP ME THAT IS SO FUNNY. I NEED A GIF OF THAT NOW

“Well, I can’t figure out everything for you, can I?” Gkdkskskwkwosk

“Now, remember, chin up.” [Nadine gently tilts Elsbeth’s chin.] god bless this show for its commitment to constructing such intimate moments of connection between Elsbeth and other women every single episode

Gonzo! Glad they brought her back.

Matteo: “That was twenty years ago… before Nadine had an accent.”

Dear god, the pangaea project ☠️

Elsbeth’s instincts being off because she’s upset about having to leave the precinct is such a nice touch. Oh, god, the way her voice goes all wobbly.

“I came here with an assignment from the Department of Justice and maybe you think I was wrong to accept that because you think you’re above blame, but I did my best to be fair, and you know, there was plenty of evidence that made you look bad.”

OH, perfect moment, writer’s room. It would have been so easy to let Elsbeth sit there and take the unfairness, but the fact that she stands up for herself is a fundamental truth of her character that we’ve seen time and time again throughout the season. She’s not a pushover. She’s not dumb. And she’s the furthest thing from weak.

And she will damn sure let you know it.

“Okay then. I guess you’re right, as you always are. My work here is done.” GET HIS ASS!!!

Kaya: “I’ll be there.” 😭

Kaya immediately turning back to Wagner. “What was she supposed to do?”

YES, I NEED THIS PERSONAL DRAMA! Up the stakes between the main characters! Give them deeply intimate things to fight for or to fight about!!

That Kaya/Elsbeth hug. 😭😭

Donnelly: “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m gonna miss you.” GKSKSKSK, Donnelly running away from her hug.

Matteo exuberantly pointing at Elsbeth and it immediately cutting to her looking like the saddest little kitten. 😭

Elsbeth, violently sobbing: “I don’t know. I think… I think I’ve lost my mojo.” OKAY, I HATE TO SEE HER CRY, but the angst lover in me is also enjoying this deeply.

Nadine trying to comfort her, stroking her arm. 🌈

MY FUCKING GOD LOOK AT KAYA. LOOK AT HOW HOT SHE IS. WHAT THE FUKC

THAT DRESSSSS AUWHGJA!

Wagner showing up to the fashion show, lmao. They filmed that like the end of The Parent Trap when the dad shows up at the end again.

“Oh, I wish I didn’t have to do this.”Elsbeth’s tenderness and compassion towards Matteo—(towards so many of the culprits)—is just stunning. Absolutely character defining.

“I’m old, darling. Time collapses.” Gorgeous way to put it.

Love the high drama of the whole Nick/Nadine/Ezra/Matteo story.

For Good Wife/Fight fans, was Celetano a character over there, or is he a new invention?

Elsbeth and Laura Benanti still hanging out!!!

“… but actually, they’re far worse than what I imagined.” QLLQOQKWOEKDMSKW

“Thank you for teaching me how to notice things… and for being my friend.” 😭 Oh, that little break in Kaya’s voice.

Elsbeth grabbing her hands. 😭😭

“I know a bunch of people died, but we did have a lot of fun.” / “Yeah.” this is the fun of Kaya and Elsbeth, too, that they have an ungodly amount of fun solving gruesomecrimes.

ELSBETH GETTING AN OFFICE! YAYAYAYAY! KAYA EXCITED ABOUT BEING OUTSIDE OF ELSBETH’S OFFICE! KAYA GOING TO BE A DETECTIVE!! ELSBETH AND KAYA SO EXCITED TOGETHER! WAH!!

final thoughts on the finale: oh, this was such a wonderful episode—I had a goddamn blast.

I really hate to say it because I think the howcatchem gimmick is what makes Elsbeth structurally unique as a procedural, but not knowing the culprit worked for me so well for me in this episode. It was fun to piece it together with her, and even to watch her struggle a bit as she dealt with other stressors. That was all great—I felt both grounded in Elsbeth’s emotional state and invested in the case as it gradually unfolded. André and Laura were excellent guest stars! They understood the Elsbeth assignment of high camp fnekdnsns. Carra Patterson and Wendell Pierce were fantastic as always, too, but I have to admit, I wish the Wagner corruption plot had been more interesting in general.

(He was never ever going to be the antagonist, but having it be Noonan felt a little anticlimactic after all the cool set up. 😭 I sort of wish we’d gotten one last quiet moment between Elsbeth and Wagner to talk about it, too.)

looking ahead, I’m so, so excited for what Elsbeth has in store. Carrie Preston is just a delight, from start to finish. There is a high chance I’m going to start binging TGW/F soon just to get a chance to see her at the start. :’)

I really hope that S2 leans into more of the elements that made the finale such a treat—like not being afraid to shake up the formula and playing to personal drama/stakes/moments between the central cast. They’re all gorgeous characters, and I desperately want to know more about their internal lives, and share some of those tiny, unseen moments with them. and if that means sacrificing some of the screen space that would have originally been used to get to know a culprit better, I think that’s absolutely okay from time-to-time. <3

But overall, Elsbeth has genuinely and quickly become one of my favorite new finds of 2024. It’s fun and clever. It doesn’t take itself seriously, which I think is crucial to the DNA of the show. And yet, it has such a big heart at its core, which is what gives it life.

I’m going to miss it sm while it’s on hiatus!! Thursdays just got a whole lot duller.