#He's hyped to commit murder

[zsaszsingone]

yes,  victor  zsasz  loves  disco,  but  have  you  considered  he  also  listens  to  hot  girl    &    bad  bitch  playlists  when  he  needs  the  boost?  

[airandangels]

okay I don't say this to be unkind

but you know that hottest vintage men poll tournament

(I think we can agree Mifune was a deserving winner)

okay another similar poll has swum into my ken the last couple of days but it's, like, 70s music dudes and I have to say

you could be the most ordinary-ass-looking dude in the 1970s and be a star and have ladies all aflutter for you

now it is a good thing that ordinary-looking dudes can get a lady-flutter going! There are a lot more ordinary-looking people than special-looking people, that's what defines those looks as ordinary, and everyone's just doing their best with what they've got.

it's just a really funny contrast to see them one after the other

you see Cary Grant and Toshiro Mifune and young Vincent Price and people posting "propaganda" of how handsome and debonair they were and swooning in the tags

and then boom the same thing but it's some fluffy-haired dude called Jeff

[starbuck]

okay, just read about my lovers again. feeling calm. 😌

[kxsagi]

Okaokay this is weird as hell but like BLLK boys with readers who read like downbad BL like hella downbad BL and they caught them reading it

“𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫”

a/n: this is kinda reminding me of that one anime “kiss him, not me”

... did you pray today?

suggestive content inside! 

ft. isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, kaiser michael, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, shidou ryusei, karasu tabito

isagi yoichi

bro just wanted to cuddle and play mario kart but now he’s standing behind you like he just walked into a crime scene. 

“why is he blushing while getting slammed into a locker?” 

you go, “that’s just their love language.” 

isagi: “THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE IS VIOLENCE???” 

full-on existential crisis. like he’s rethinking your entire relationship. 

“so… you’d rather have someone call you a filthy brat and collar you than hear me say ‘you look cute today’?” 

you: “yes.” 

he’s quiet the rest of the night and suddenly tries being meaner the next day. tells you “move faster” while opening the door and then IMMEDIATELY apologizes. 

now thinks you’ll only find him hot if he scowls and calls you a peasant. 

itoshi rin

you were reading it peacefully until you felt a cold stare from the doorway. 

rin: “you’ve been rereading the same five panels for 20 minutes.” 

you: “he just said ‘i’ll never love you’ while pushing him against a wall… it’s peak literature.” 

rin blinks. “you need help.” 

and yet… two days later he slides you a different BL manga and mumbles “this one has less dubcon.” 

does NOT make eye contact. 

will never admit it but he read a full one just to “see what the hype was.” he absolutely got invested. 

“the writing was ass but the pining was kinda raw. 7/10.” 

secretly furious when the top breaks the bottom’s heart. “what a manipulative loser. i hope he gets hit by a car.” 

itoshi sae

he finds it on your ipad, opens it, and is hit with a panel of a guy crying during a kiss. 

“is this supposed to be hot or are you mentally unwell?” 

you: “both.” 

stares at you like you just confessed to murder. 

“this guy has commitment issues, the other one’s a masochist, and they’ve kissed five times in a public bathroom. i’m judging you so hard right now.” 

continues reading. 

eventually he starts live texting you commentary on your own manga. 

“chapter 18: he cheated and the other guy forgave him. you like this???” 

“chapter 21: now they’re crying and having shower sex. y’all really do need therapy.” 

and then two hours later: “okay, but lowkey that last panel hit.” 

he’s converted. unwillingly. but he is. 

kaiser michael

sees the cover and snatches your phone like you’re watching porn in public. 

“you’re reading this?!” 

reads the title aloud: “‘he growled in my ear: you’re mine now, kitten’...” 

wheezing with laughter. 

“what the hell does that even mean?? are you okay??” 

you just smile and go, “you’d look good saying it too, actually.” 

that shuts him up for a solid three seconds. 

then he’s like “say less” and tries imitating the line. except he does it in a fake german accent. 

now he’s obsessed. he wants to cosplay the mean top. 

“should i dye my hair black and wear a leather collar?” 

you: “i will leave you.” 

also starts quoting it randomly. “kitten, i’ll destroy your sanity” while brushing his teeth. help. 

nagi seishiro

you thought you were safe because he never cares about anything. 

you were wrong. 

“yo, why is this guy crying with a handprint on his thigh?” 

you: “he’s healing through pain.” 

nagi: “he’s healing through getting railed.” 

next thing you know he’s laying on your lap, scrolling through your reading list like it’s the sunday paper. 

“this one’s plot is trash. but the art’s cool.” 

asks if there’s a BL where the guy just naps and gets spoiled. you show him one. now he’s hooked. 

goes “based” every time the bottom gets carried to bed. 

unbothered king. will read it in the middle of practice if bored. 

mikage reo

“WHAT are you READING??” 

covers his eyes like he’s a victorian man seeing a woman’s ankle for the first time. 

“wait is that a leash? WHY IS HE ON A LEASH?!” 

you just say, “he lost a bet.” 

reo.exe has stopped working. 

refuses to touch your phone. “it’s tainted now.” 

but then spends the next three hours grilling you like a concerned mom. 

“do you like that? do you want me to talk like that?? should i start growling at you?” 

you tease him and say “yes daddy~” 

he goes pale. the most flustered he’s ever been. 

next day he tries calling you “bunny” and ends up choking on his own tongue. 

shidou ryusei

oh he’s into it IMMEDIATELY. 

snatches it and starts flipping through like a pervert at a used bookstore. 

“yo, this guy’s calling him his prey. that’s hot.” 

he finds the filthiest line and yells it across the room. 

“’rip me apart like the beast you are’ – YOU LIKE THIS SHIT?!” 

you’re hiding under a pillow in shame. 

shidou: “nah nah this is PEAK. 10/10. i’d do that too.” 

probably acts out the scenes just to mess with you. full feral. 

now he uses manga pickup lines on you in public. 

“hey, princess. want me to ruin your innocence?” 

sir, this is a costco. 

karasu tabito

catches you mid-giggle and snatches your phone. 

“what’s so funny– OH HELL NO.” 

“did this dude just moan from getting his hair pulled?” 

gives you a 10 minute roast session. 

“bro’s getting railed and saying ‘thank you’ like it’s customer service.” 

reads the whole thing anyway. gets unreasonably invested. 

“why is this actually good though. that bastard cheated on him and he STILL forgave him? nah. couldn’t be me.” 

sends you memes of your fave couple like “this you?” 

pretends he hates it. secretly makes an alt account to read fanfics of it. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[barnesdolls]

Steve Rogers and His Unhealthy Obsession with Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers was many things.

Captain America. A national hero. A good friend.

But above all else—

Steve Rogers was a wife guy.

Except he wasn’t even married.

To be clear—Bucky wasn’t his husband.

They were just two idiots in love who refused to admit it and instead chose to ruin the lives of everyone around them.

And Bucky, despite all his grumbling and dramatic sighing, secretly loved every second of it.

—

INCIDENT #1: STEVE, A MENACE TO SOCIETY

The first time Sam realized how deeply Steve had committed to his role as Bucky’s personal hype man, they were all in the common room when Steve casually turned to Natasha and said:

“You know, Buck can kill someone in six different ways with a spoon.”

Bucky, mid-sip of coffee, nearly choked. “Steve—”

“And he never misses with a knife.” Steve beamed proudly. “Seriously, Nat, you’d be impressed. One time in the ‘40s—”

Natasha raised a brow. “Does he cook?”

Steve nodded. “Oh, yeah, and he’s really good at it. You should try his stew—”

“That’s not what I meant,” Natasha cut in.

Sam snorted. “Yeah, does he do anything that doesn’t involve stabbing?”

Steve turned to Bucky. “Do you?”

Bucky sighed into his coffee. “I breathe, Steve.”

“And beautifully, too.”

Bucky muttered a curse under his breath.

Steve, still smiling dreamily, added, “And he’s great at woodworking.”

Natasha leaned back. “Are you gonna tell us about how incredible his battle tactics are next?”

Steve gasped. “Oh my God, YES.”

Bucky groaned. “Oh my God, NO.”

—

INCIDENT #2: STEVE WILL THROW HANDS

It was a casual mission. A simple extraction.

Then some random HYDRA goon had the audacity to say, “The Winter Soldier? Wasn’t he just a brainwashed puppet?”

And Steve, who normally gave his speeches about “being the bigger man”, just decked the guy so hard he left a dent in the wall.

The whole room froze.

Bucky blinked. “Steve?”

Steve turned to him. “Yeah?”

Bucky pointed at the unconscious guy. “Did you just—”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah.”

Sam, who had witnessed everything, crossed his arms. “So, what, you just throw hands now?”

Steve nodded confidently. “If it’s for Bucky, absolutely.”

Natasha muttered, “This is embarrassing.”

Bucky, secretly pleased but refusing to show it, just sighed and said, “Steve, I literally do not care.”

Steve smiled. “I care enough for both of us.”

Bucky buried his face in his hands.

—

INCIDENT #3: STEVE CASUALLY DROPS GAY MARRIAGE INTO CONVERSATION FOR NO REASON

Bucky was minding his own business, sharpening his knife, when Steve just… said it.

“Hey, did you know gay marriage is legal in this century?”

Bucky froze mid-sharpening.

Slowly, he turned to Steve. “…And?”

Steve shrugged. “Just thought you should know.”

Bucky squinted. “…Why?”

Steve cleared his throat. “No reason.”

Bucky just stared at him. “Did you wake up today and decide, ‘Gee, I wonder if Bucky Barnes is up to date on modern marriage laws’?”

Steve looked suspiciously innocent. “I just thought it was interesting.”

Bucky leaned back, arms crossed. “Uh-huh. And this has nothing to do with you calling me your ‘murder husband’ to everyone we meet?”

Steve coughed. “Completely unrelated.”

Bucky didn’t blink. “Steve.”

Steve nodded. “Bucky.”

A long pause.

Then Bucky sighed. “Get out of my room.”

—

INCIDENT #4: “IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO BUCKY, I’M SUING”

During a mission briefing, Tony was explaining the team formations, and Steve—who was normally all about discipline—immediately interrupted.

“Wait, wait, wait. Where’s Bucky in this plan?”

Tony sighed. “Steve, he’s fine. He can handle himself.”

Steve crossed his arms. “That’s not what I asked.”

Tony rubbed his temples. “Steve—”

“Where. Is. Bucky?”

Everyone turned to look at Bucky, who was just sitting there, eating a protein bar.

He waved awkwardly. “Hi.”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “He’s on his mission, Cap. You’re not even in the same sector.”

Steve scowled. “Then I object.”

Tony stared. “This isn’t a wedding.”

Steve pointed at Bucky. “Then put me with him.”

“For what reason?”

Steve, without hesitation: “Moral support.”

Bucky groaned. “Jesus Christ, Steve.”

Tony closed his laptop. “I’m done.”

Sam sighed, rubbing his face. “You two are so much.”

Steve turned to Bucky, softly. “You’ll be okay, though, right?”

Bucky muttered something under his breath but nodded.

Steve smiled, content.

Sam whispered, “I swear to God, someone needs to get Steve laid.”

Bucky, mid-bite of his protein bar, choked.

—

INCIDENT #5: “WOW. GROUNDBREAKING.”

Steve was pacing.

And not just regular pacing—he was pacing like a father-to-be in a hospital waiting room, hands on his hips, looking like he was about to deliver the most serious speech of his life.

Bucky, lounging on the couch, beer in hand, just watched him with the energy of a man witnessing a trainwreck in slow motion.

Steve stopped pacing. Took a deep breath. Turned to Bucky with determined blue eyes.

“I have feelings for you.”

Silence.

A long, obnoxiously long silence.

Bucky just blinked.

Then, in the flattest, most sarcastic tone possible, he said:

“Wow. Groundbreaking.”

Steve frowned. “Wait—what?”

Bucky took a slow sip of his beer. “You don’t say, Steve.”

Steve squinted. “Are you being sarcastic?”

Bucky set the beer down. “Me? Sarcastic? No, Stevie, I am just so shocked right now. Truly, this is the most unexpected thing I’ve ever heard.”

Steve sighed deeply. “Bucky—”

Bucky gestured wildly. “I mean, sure, you look at me like I’m the last donut in a police station, and yeah, you literally threw hands with a guy for talking shit about me, and maybe you once told Tony that if anything happens to me you’d ‘file a formal complaint with the universe’—”

Steve groaned. “It was a joke.”

Bucky pointed at him. “No, it was a declaration.”

Sam, passing by with a sandwich, paused mid-bite. “Wait, he said that?”

Bucky nodded. “Oh, he said that.”

Sam whistled. “That’s crazy.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “I regret saying anything.”

Bucky smirked. “Oh, no, don’t regret it now, sweetheart. You’ve been in love with me since the Roosevelt administration.”

Steve glared. “I hate you.”

Bucky patted his knee, grinning. “You love me.”

Sam shook his head, muttering, “I need new friends,” before walking away.

[itsabouttimex2]

Any fandom trends in LMK you literally can’t stand?

Urgh fucking absolutely.

Every now and then (often in the cycle of several months) there’s a new fic/comic that circulates the fandom promising that it’s going to be “The nuanced portrayal of Macaque and Sun Wukong that all of you were waiting for!” and the fandom cheers and claps and begins to hype and recommend this fic to every little corner of the audience that it possibly can, on twitter and reddit and tumblr-

Except the author’s idea of “nuance” is fucking inevitably:

“Sun Wukong gets his asshole verbally ripped and his teeth kicked in every other chapter and Macaque gets lightly scolded every five chapters and also everyone loves and forgives him and is on his side without any trouble. Also Wukong is a big bumbling dumbass who can’t tie his own shoes without making people hate him. Also Macaque never ever makes mistakes because the author likes him too much just doesn’t. But if he does no one calls him out on it. And if they do they’re in the wrong. And we’re going to address and rip apart Wukong for all of his shortcomings and mistakes, while pretending that Macaque has never done anything wrong. Look how nuanced I’m being!”

This also inevitably comes with a hefty helping of a side dish of “the author doesn’t know the difference between killing for fun and killing in self defense” that is never fun to deal with under any terms, where Sun Wukong puts down Macaque because the latter is a legitimate threat to either Wukong himself, his fellow pilgrims, a town or even the world, and then being treated like a cold-blooded murdered because the author can’t comprehend morality he committed the grave sin of “self-defense”.

(And yes, I’m aware that portraying a flawed relationship as nuanced isn’t a situation of splitting the blame exactly 50/50, it’s engaging with both sides of a situation and giving them proper care in regards to the context arisen from conflict and abrasion, etc. But when you’re hitting us with a 90/10, man? Just tell us that you’re biased! People will still read your stories!)

(And obv this doesn’t include villain AUS)

It’s just so fucking tiresome to hear the constancy hype around a big new “nuanced” fic and then it’s more of the fandom typical “shitting on Sun Wukong”.

The most recent one was genuinely so egregious in spite of the constant hype that I stopped reading Monkie Kid fanfic on A03 almost entirely at this point.

It’s just not worth the hassle.

[scoutswritingcorner]

Marvel Women with an FTM S/O

A/n: Hihi, have some crumbs I'm alive and well, just doing the grind ya' know. Anyways back into my Marvel hype fixations and so here. Also I live in delusional land, let me believe all these Marvel ladies are alive and well, thank you. Also I did this because I wanted to and no one can stop me. Thank you. PS: Sorry if these seem out of character I tried 🤷‍♂️ and if you guys want more please let me know.

TW: Talks about violence, transphobia, and dysphoria. Nothing goes into detail.

Natasha Romanoff:

Natasha has always known in a sense. She never really understood what but she knew something was different about you.

When you tell her, she is immediately supportive and reminds you that no matter what you identify as she loved you all the same.

Immediately asks for your new name and pronouns. Will help you change your name, she’s got some debts that need to be repaid anyways.

She can and will rudely or passive aggressively correct someone. Unless you tell her not to.

Has punched someone for misgendering you on purpose and she will do it again.

Now, Natasha has a hard time saying how much she absolutely adores you. Which she does with her whole being but you’ll know from how much she does for you.

Soft hugs and kisses on the lips or cheek, words of encouragement, words of praise.

She doesn’t infantilize you at all, she knows you are more than capable of kicking ass as much as she is but she just wants to pamper you.

She still calls you “babe”, “baby”, “sweetheart”. But behind closed doors and in the dark of night she will call you, “baby boy”, “prince”, “sweet boy”, “handsome” etc.

If you wear a binder? She’s watching the hours. On a mission or at work? She’s immediately helping you take it off once at home/somewhere safe.

Top surgery? She’s your personal nurse until you get better. Don’t point it out cause she will stop.

Don’t get me started on the fact she’s either your personal trainer or she gets Steve to help.

Dysphoria? She’s getting big sweaters/hoodies she owns and letting you wear them. They smell like her and it helps you. Let her hold you during those times (if you can handle physical touch).

Wanda Maximoff:

When you first tell her she’s quiet at first. She’s letting you tell her and she’s trying to understand.

But once she fully understands? Oh boy, you are getting hugged and kissed all over. She’s so proud of you and happy that you trust her enough to let her know who you truly are.

She immediately does her research and asks what your new name is and what pronouns you use.

Also very protective of you, but she won’t punch someone outright like Natasha. No she will stare them down and be so passive aggressive it’s not funny.

She has had so many arguments with people over the fact they misgendered you.

Another one who pampers you to hell and back. 

Go clothes shopping with her, please. She’ll buy matching outfit sets with you.

Matching jewelry? Yes please.

If you’re wearing a binder, you best bet your bottom dollar that she is also watching the hours. She doesn’t want you hurt or injured.

Top surgery? She’s also your personal nurse.

Dysmorphia? She’s letting you stay in bed and she’ll happily cuddle you.

Calls you different pet names: “baby”, “babe”, “handsome”, etc

If you just started testosterone and you start to grow facial hair, please let her help you shave. She has such a calming voice and steady hands.

(Lowkey headcanon she’s watched Pietro shave/helped him shave if he got injured anyways-)

She will teach you if you don’t know how.

If Pietro is still alive she asks him about certain clothes or shaving products to help you.

Wife Material 👌

Yelena Belova:

I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this. She loves you to death and she will commit murder for you but she is gonna have to take a minute to understand this.

Not to say she doesn’t know or care but she just needs a minute to adjust.

She loves you dearly, even though she doesn’t say it much or show it around the others, but if this is who you are, then you are her boyfriend. End of story.

She has also punched and possibly killed people who have misgendered you. The jury is still out on the killing part.

She’s not big on PDA but in private she will be all over you from calling you petnames to soft kisses.

She will also personally train you to perfectly punch a transphobe or bigot in the face. (“Eyes, nose or throat.” She says)

She thinks you are the strongest and bravest person she’s met. To say who you are and not care what others think? She’s even more in love with you.

Petnames include, “Prince” (cause she always says your her “Prince in distress”), “Darling”, “Babe”, “медведь” (Bear), etc.

Feeling disphoric? Movie night while wearing comfy clothes and staying in bed. She’ll order your favorite food too.

Wearing a binder for too long? She’s on your ass and cussing you out (lovingly) in Russian. She’ll wait until you get somewhere comfortable to help you take it off but until then? She’s cussing you out. Once again, in a loving manner.

Got top surgery? She’s not gonna be your personal nurse but she will help if asked. Makes sure to remind you on important things and (secretly) keeps your snacks and drinks stocked up.

She also trains with you. She doesn’t go easy, but it’s because she knows your limit and doesn’t want you to think she is babying you. So she goes a little too hard. Just tell her to calm down and she will.

Maria Hill:

Maria is another one who also kinda knew. But she wasn’t going to say anything because that’s not her place.

When you finally tell her, she smiles at you. She’s happy you trusted her enough to tell her.

She immediately asks for your new name and updates everything in the SHIELD system. 

Does not play about you getting misgendered. Not that anyone in SHIELD who knew you would but the newer recruits were always somewhat ballsy and trying to get on her good side. 

When she finds out they are lucky they aren’t shot on the spot. Instead she yells and digs into them so much they are nothing but a crying mess. Even Fury didn’t step in.

She helps with training and makes sure your new uniform fits perfectly. 

Knows everything about if your wearing a binder. If you even say your chest hurts and it’s totally unrelated, she is making you take your binder off for a while. She will not take no for an answer.

If you get top surgery, she’ll get (take) a few days off every week while you heal to make sure your doing well and everything is stocked up.

She has shut down someone being openly transphobic to you before and she will do it again. She will be rude but professional about it.

Maria tends to work a lot, so on those bad dysphoric days she will most likely be at work but that doesn’t mean she won’t leave you alone. She will rush home if you call her. Fury has told her multiple times that she can go but this is Maria, workaholic to the bone.

If you want to stay in bed? She’ll stay with you and let you snuggle up to her all you want. She feels bad if she can’t rush home to reassure you.

For pet names, I feel she just uses “babe” or “dear” a lot. But in private moments or intimate moments she will call you, “handsome” or “her pretty boy”.

She’s not one for PDA or anything romantic in the front of her peers really but you’ve wormed your way into her heart so when she notices your particularly down or upset about something or just life in general, she call you over and let you hug her for however long you need just whispering a soft, “I got you, handsome.” in your ear.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

An Alex Cross Joint Mission

Alex Cross & The Heartbreak Brotherhood Part 1

Main Cast: Alex Cross, John Clark, and Terry Richmond, Black Female OC.

Warning(s): 18+, Explicit Sex, Violence, Murder, Mystery, Thriller, and Drama. Grown Folks Shit.

Summary: Homicide Detective Alex Cross must join forces with former elite Navy SEAL John Clark, and former marine MCMAP instructor Terry Richmond to solve the mystery of a murderous stalker seeking revenge on all three of them. The only connection the men have to each other is a sexy femme fatale they each had an intimate relationship with recently.

Word count: 1.8K

Dedicating this one to @nahimjustfeelingit-writes !

"Six minutes

Six minutes

Six minutes Doug E. Fresh

You're on…"

Doug E. Fresh—"The Show"

Alex Cross bounced around in the front seat of his Ford Explorer in time to the old Hip Hop song blasting on his radio. From the rearview mirror he glimpsed his nine-year-old son Damon and seven-year-old daughter Jannie rolling their eyes at him.

"Y'all don't know nothing about this. Nana Mama used to play this for me when I was little to hype up my day."

Both of his children ignored him as he bobbed his head in time to Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew's "The Show". He told a little white lie to them. It was his mother who used to play it for him when he was four years old, before she passed away from a drug overdose. Alex avoided mentioning his mother because it would remind his children of their own mother, who died in a drive-by shooting a couple of years ago. The pain was still tender, yet he wanted to get them excited about going to a church picnic with Nana Mama and other children from the community center he volunteered for.

Alex had other plans for himself that afternoon. He was going to meet a beautiful woman he'd been spending time with for the past six weeks whenever she was in town. A fellow doctorate in psychology, Sasha worked for a global PR firm and traveled a lot for her job. They'd recently become intimate, and the sex was mind-blowing for him. Nothing interested him more than a sexy, intelligent woman with a body for days. He'd been reluctant to take the next step with Sasha, preferring to keep their sporadic dates platonic and fun. Spending time with her without a commitment allowed him to dip his toe back into the dating scene without pressure. She was flexible, not put off by him being a widow with children, and seemed to always know when to give him space for his home life. After four weeks of seeing each other, he crossed over into intimacy easily with her. Sasha was hard to resist. Forty-two days in, he had an itch for her that needed scratching.

He pulled into the parking lot of the Holy Comforter- St. Cyprian Catholic Church. Nana Mama stood by her Blue Honda Accord with her best friend Mrs. Whitman, waiting for them. He turned down the music and watched his children jump out from the back, grateful to be freed from Dad's old-time music. He stepped out of the car for a minute.

"I'll see you guys later…hey, have fun today," he said.

Damon and Jannie nodded, running over to Nana Mama's car. Alex's grandmother had to do some earlier prep work at the church kitchen and he agreed to drop his children off later, before he met up with Sasha at the National Mall.

"Are you sure you and Sasha don't want to hang with us? We'd like to meet your new girlfriend," Nana Mama said.

She gave him a teasing grin, and Mrs. Whitman chuckled.

"No, I'm not ready to bring people around the kids yet," he said.

He leaned over and kissed Nana Mama's cheek. Jumping back into his car, he waved at Damon and Jannie. Changing the music on the radio to something more adult contemporary, he headed for a grown-up picnic on the National Mall. He'd also been a little proactive in reserving a luxury hotel room. The four times they'd had sex had been in hotel suites that she booked while in town. She lived in Maryland when not traveling, and they both stayed cautious with their personal lives interacting just yet. They were still in the getting-to-know-each-other phase with fucking thrown into the equation now. He made plans to wine and dine her later that evening after a long "nap" at the hotel. Nana Mama knew not to wait up for him because he wanted to spend as much time with Sasha as he could before she jetted off to solve some other public figure's national reputation.

Traffic slowed him up, but he didn't fret. It was a sunny day with blue skies and he was on his way to have some adult fun after a stressful week of work. He had some vacation time stacked up, and he wanted to convince Sasha to run off to Vegas for a weekend. Janet Jackson would start her music residency there and he snagged some tickets because Sasha was a huge fan.

He parked his car in the visitor parking lot on Ohio Drive and strolled toward the spot where they would meet, carrying a fancy bottle of wine in a bag. Sasha texted a picture of herself to his phone, blowing him a kiss, letting him know she provided all the goodies for their day. All he had to do was show up. This was part of Sasha's routine on their dates. She'd plan something special or spontaneous and give him the locations to meet her where she'd make him feel like a king. He reciprocated when he could, but Sasha was part of the jet set, often overseas. Most of their time together had to be centered on her schedule of availability.

Alex wandered past other people who had the same plans to picnic in the sun. He looked around for the familiar gorgeous face with the dark mocha skin as soft as a rose petal and those lush lips he so wanted to kiss right then and there. Sasha was so fine that it made him step up his dating game, which had always been above solid before he was even married.

Checking the location pin she sent him, Alex surveyed the surroundings. She had to be late, or moved to a different spot. Quite a few tourists meandered about taking pictures. Perched on a picnic table, a light brown-skinned Black man in expensive maroon jogging fits stared at his smartphone. He glanced at Alex with green eyes and gave the international Black man head nod of "W'sup." Alex returned the nod and moved past him, keeping an eye out for his date.

Another Black man glanced around the area near Alex, checking his phone, too. He eyed Alex and dropped his gaze back to his phone as it dinged a message for him. The man grinned at his phone and faint dimples popped in his cheeks. He had on comfortable tan cargo pants and a tight, long-sleeved white shirt.

Alex sported a light blue sweater with pale blue drawstring casual pants. D.C. weather was always fickle later in the fall. Warm one minute, chilly the next.

Ten minutes went by and Alex started fidgeting while waiting. He finally pulled out his smartphone from his pants pocket and called her number.

"Sasha, I'm at the spot for our picnic. No worries if you're running late. Just wanted to make sure I'm in the right location," he said.

The green-eyed man on the bench stared at Alex when he said Sasha's name out loud. So did the dimpled dude near him. He heard a distant sound of something popping like a firecracker or a whip snapping suddenly. One woman let out a terrifying scream as her companion, another woman, fell face forward onto the ground. Dead.

A sharp, hot pressure radiated in Alex's left shoulder and several more people screamed as a blood stain bloomed like a rose and ruined his good sweater. The shock of being shot hadn't registered in his brain yet as he noticed the dimpled man near him take a grazing on the hip from the same bullet that exited Alex's body. Another shot tried to take the stranger down again, but the dimpled man jumped behind the picnic table as the green-eyed man dove over the side joining him, just missing getting struck himself by another two bullets that went through the picnic table and bench.

Alex dropped to the ground and yelled at other potential victims to run and hide. From his position on the ground, he pressed a hand against his shoulder, using his sweater to help staunch the flow of blood.

"You okay, man?" the dimpled man asked.

"Yeah, clean shot through me…you?"

"I'll live. Bullet that hit you nicked me."

Green eyes used his phone to call 911. The dimpled man looked in the direction of the gunshots.

"That's a roof shot with a high caliber rifle. A good mile away. I'm guessing the museum over there from this angle," dimples said.

Police sirens blared in the distance, so did fire trucks.

No more shots were fired.

The green-eyed man glanced at Alex's wound.

"Keep putting pressure on it," green eyes said. "I think we should stay here until help arrives. Those shots weren't random. The first shot that hit that woman was meant for me. It looked like she got in the way by accident. You were next…and then you. This was a planned hit. Someone aimed all those bullets at us."

"I'm Alex," Alex said, lifting himself to rest against the picnic bench.

He needed to collect information from these men.

"I'm Terry," green eyes said,

"John," the dimpled man added reluctantly.

"Who would want the three of us taken out? We don't even know each other," Alex mumbled to himself.

"I heard you mention a name when you made a phone call before the shots happened…Sasha," John said.

"Yeah, she was my date today," Alex said.

"What she look like?" Terry interjected.

Alex grunted and pulled out his cell phone with his right hand. He swiped a screen to the last text photo he received.

"That's her," Alex said.

Terry's eyes narrowed, and John's lips curled down into a frown. They each pulled out their phones and showed Alex the same photo and text from Sasha.

"What the hell is this?" Alex said.

Cops and paramedics arrived on the scene. Alex left Nana Mama a message on her phone, and then contacted his best friend and partner on the force, John Sampson, who arrived soon after the paramedics lifted him onto the back of their ambulance. Terry stayed around to answer questions, but John had disappeared.

On the ride to the hospital, Alex wracked his brain trying to figure out who his lover Sasha really was. Had she set them all up for murder in one fell swoop? What had he done to warrant her plotting something like that? Or was someone else behind it? John vanished without a trace, and that seemed suspicious, but would he take a chance of getting wounded like that if he were part of the nefarious plot?

Alex closed his eyes.

The first chance he got, he was going to investigate the two men that were marked for death with him.

A.N.:

Giving y'all a taste now. I'll be working on adding updates in spring of 2025, so bookmark it! I have so much to write in other fandoms, lol! I haven't watched the series yet, but Aldis is that dude and I have been waiting to write something for him. So combining him with two other hot men is a treat!

[goldtheorys]

Jeff the Killer SFW alphabet

_x gn reader 🖤

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Oh, you’re never getting away. I said it before, Jeff doesn’t really get many chances to make friends, much less get a partner with his… lifestyle. As soon as he becomes aware and open to the idea of affection he’s constantly giving it, and constantly demanding it. Something something velcro bf.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Ehhhhh. He’s a good friend, to a certain extent. I mean, emotional support? Genuine love and affection? Unlikely unless you’ve been putting up with him for years. If you have, you’re still the target of a lot of cruel pranks, but he’s come to rely on you and lets you do the same in return.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Well, as long as nobodies around? Stuck to you like glue. He personally favors you on top of him like a weighted blanket while he sleeps after a long night of very normal and legal hobbies 👀 Rarely initiates, but he never refuses it if you offer. Or just throw yourself at him with no warning.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Ah, well… he can’t really do that. Just because the hype over him has died down since he first snapped doesn’t mean he can ever live a normal life. He’s moving between places every few months evading, well, everyone but you really. Although, if you have a home that’s not dead slap in the middle of a city… he wouldn’t mind treating that as a base of sorts. But if you want to keep that home, don’t let him near the stove. He’ll burn it down. Or the cleaning supplies! He’ll make new elements to add to the periodic table… please don’t leave your Jeff unsupervised.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Depends how far you are in the relationship/circumstances. If you’ve been a thing for less than a year, or you betrayed him in some way, he’ll take little to no issue in killing you. Maybe he’ll be attached enough at that point to make it quick and painless, but that’s the best you’ll get. Now if it’s been longer or you didn’t try to sell him out or anything, he’ll just full ghost. He can’t bring himself to kill someone he loves, but he’s also no good with emotions. No closure, reason, goodbye… one day you’ll just wake up and never see him again.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Well, marriage is kind off the table unless you jump through a few flaming hoops. As for commitment… that’s a tricky one. He likes to ignore his emotions, and his needs, and anything that makes life too complicated. But, even as a deranged murderer, he’s still human in some sense of the word. He’ll never admit it and might disappear for a few weeks if you bring it up, but yeah, if you’re reeeeaaaalllyy worth it, he can try to get over that little fear and stick by you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Oof… he’s got the potential. I mean, look at it logically. He went psycho killer at 13-14, right? And I imagine him early-mid twenties for this. That’s a lot of years where he hasn’t felt love or affection. Does he want it? Yes. Does he want to give it back? Also yes. Is he any good at that? No! But he’s really trying to. He’ll come around to being gentle physically somewhat quick, but emotionally would take a lot of work.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He likes bear hugs, the type where the air is squeezed out of you and ribs nearly crack. On you of course, he’d start fighting it like a wild cat if you tried the same. Prefers quick hugs if he isn’t initiating.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Either immediately or it takes him so long it’s worrying when he finally says it, no in between. He tends to fall into an obsession of sorts if he was to go so far as to consider you date worthy, but with the fear of commitment he might wait a long while until it feels safe to say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Varies on your lifestyle. If you’re a “normie” he gets jealous of EVERYONE. Friends, past lovers, neighbors, pets… probably the air you breathe lol. The narcissism is still there; he’s hot, strong, perfect, of course you love him. But he can’t give you that normal life style, and that’s what worries him. He’s afraid you’ll think it’s too strenuous with him and cheat. Now if you’re a killer, monster, whatever, he still has his moments, but it’s rare and easy for him to get over. You’re on the same paths, so he only takes a problem if you stare at someone for too long. In both situations though, if he thinks someone else is about to ruin what he has, they’re dead within 12 hours.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Light, ticklish surprise kisses if he’s tired or somehow calm. They’re rare, but he loves the way your shoulders hunch up defensively when he trails them on the back of your neck, dragging his nails along your arm/waist. Usually they’re a lot rougher. They’re just like him; sudden, powerful, and warm. These ones… tend to lead to something else, but it’s also usually his welcome home kiss after he’s been waiting on you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Ummm… 😭 probably avoids them at all costs honestly. Or bullies the hell out of em if he can’t escape. If it’s like a situation where you have a kid already, guardian for your little sib etc, he might be more tolerant, but there would still be a petty rivalry. Long story short, he kinda hates em.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Will literally body slam you back into bed if you try to get up before he’s ready. Running, killing and the scars in his body are all a bit strenuous, so once he falls asleep next to you he never wants it to end. The pain is dulled and you’re right in front of him, kind of forced to admire how beautiful he is, could there ever be a more perfect situation?

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He’s like a cat, he won’t let you sleep. If you try, he’ll roll his body on top of yours and just start blasting music from YOUR phone, like an asshole. Once you’re convinced to do an all nighter though, it’s all video games and him shit talking his own dead victims. Sometimes, if you go to cook or bake something he’ll try to help, but it all ends in disaster. Best to just let him treat you like a jungle gym, it’s the least destructive he’ll be in that situation.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Okay, again, this can go two ways. He’s a complicated-not-complicated man. It’s not like he can hide his identity from you with the scarring and whatnot. Most likely scenario is after having befriended him in someway, he says everything all at once, before you start dating. He wants to see how you handle it, if you’ll run, if you already knew, if it somehow changed your opinion of him. Less likely, and I don’t know how this one would happen exactly, but he might wait a long while just to make sure you really will stay. Whether it’s right away or far later, it’s one last effort/checkbox to see if you’re worth his time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very easily angered. Come on. It’s Jeff. Although, one plus side is that he won’t take it out on you. He might scream and yell at you, especially if you’re the cause of the issue somehow, but once he realizes it’s hurting your feelings or just making you pissed too, he scampers off to do some killing and let off steam. (pssst i wrote how he comes back after events like that in my old jtk headcanons post)

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

It would take awhile for anything to stick. When you first met, he couldn’t even remember your name. He’s very self centered and thinks it all should be about him, but at the point of dating some things just subconsciously stay stuck in his memory. And then there’s a few he consciously makes the effort to remember. Soon after, your body, your brain, your speech patterns are practically burned into his memory.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It’s a bit shallow, but his first favorite is when you first met. He always likes seeing how people perceive him, gauging the expressions on their faces. Everything had flickered so fast across yours, it made him laugh that he could immediately take so much space in someone’s mind. So yeah, he stayed for the ego boost from that maybe.

His second favorite is his first kiss with you. But he’ll never tell anyone that, especially not you.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Ough…that’s a tough one…

But these are relationship headcanons so-

He would be very protective. It doesn’t matter if you’re secretly worse. Sometimes when he’s up at night and couldn’t get you to stay up, he stares and realizes you’re kind of all he’s got. If anyone wants to get in the way of your happiness (especially with him), he’ll gut them and bring the heart to you like a fucked up cat.

He likes it when you cover for him. If you’re out in public and someone seems to be catching onto him, he appreciates when you pull his hood down further and/or make a scene so he can slip away.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

The only thing he would do out of free will is the anniversary celebration. He’s not stupid, he knows most couples are supposed to celebrate that or whatever. He’ll steal snacks or cool expensive shit from his victims homes and bring those to you on the date, but probably won’t say that it’s for that exactly… he rarely gives gifts any other time though, so it’s not difficult to guess why he did it that day of all days.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

A bit of a slob, and expects you to clean up after him. If you yell at and sass him enough he’ll make an effort to be cleaner, but hey, nobody’s perfect. (He’d argue against that but whatever). Also no regard for the cleanliness of your bathroom because if he’s in a bad mental state, he’ll recut his smile scars, leaving his blood splattered in there.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

As long as his smile scars aren’t completely healed and faded, he considers himself absolutely stunning, so apart from that he doesn’t worry about it too much. Appreciates when you try to get him in on the face care routine or wash his hair, it’s one of the only activities you can do with him where he’s not squirming around and shadow boxing you the whole time.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Ok so again, a year or less he won’t really give a fuck. He’s very hesitant to get emotionally attached, but he’s not immune to it. If he’s been with you long enough you’re a part of his routine in some way or another, weeks spent away from you feel like torture. You’ve gotten accustomed to taking calls from random numbers, since it’s usually him calling from a stolen phone to make sure you’re still alive, maybe drop a quiet “love you”.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

A new type of felony was established because of him. Nobody else is yet to commit it. Will you ever get to know what fucked up shit he did to get that? No.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He HATES it when people constantly argue with him or are total killjoys. He’ll admit to a certain extent he’s a little wild and impulsive, but people who constantly want to stay in line and follow the rules piss him off.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He talks in his sleep! Ask him questions, sometimes you’ll get half coherent answers.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

THIS TOOK SO LONG hope it was enjoyable though! Jeff is currently kind of like. the main love interest in my fanfic. FOR NOW. but yeah i did this to help make it easier to write him for myself. Ummm request open!

[rottenpumpkin13]

AGSZC have a medical emergency. What happened and who was a good noodle and went to the infirmary in a timely manner? And who was rushed to medical after they swore they were fine and collapsed trying to run a training lesson?

Angeal: Sustained a deep gash during a spar with an overenthusiastic Second. Immediately reported to medical like the responsible adult he pretends to be. Apologized profusely to the medics for "wasting their time" while actively dripping blood onto the floor. Took his prescribed rest period without complaint. The only functional human being in this disaster of a friend group.

Sephiroth: Had an unknown allergic reaction. Did not acknowledge it. Continued working despite his entire existence looking like it had been put through a soft blur filter. Challenged Genesis to a spar while visibly feverish and slurring like a man three drinks past his limit. Collapsed mid-fight so theatrically that bystanders assumed Genesis had committed a murder. Zack immediately tackled Genesis, sobbing and screaming "HOW COULD YOU?" like this was a revenge plot in a soap opera. Sephiroth, confused as to why everyone was making a fuss, had to be carried to medical by a team of people because he is physically and metaphorically dense. Still refuses to believe he was "ill" and claims it was simply "an unexpected loss of consciousness."

Genesis: Attempted a Limit Break demonstration in front of an audience. Landed wrong. Sprained his ankle so violently that the sound it made could only be described as a handful of crackers being smashed. Refused medical attention, declared himself "totally fine," then immediately fainted in the most unnecessarily dramatic fashion possible, complete with clutching his heart and sighing dramatically. Had to be carried to medical like a wounded prince (splaying the back of his hand against his forehead). Accused the doctors of "medical imprisonment" and claimed they were stifling his artistic spirit by not letting him go. Spent the next three days theatrically reciting Loveless to anyone who couldn’t escape fast enough, including unconscious patients, passing nurses, and an IV drip he started addressing as "dear listener" because he was hyped up on drugs to help with the pain.

Zack: Got absolutely obliterated by a training bot. Something was definitely broken. Insisted he was completely fine and immediately took off running to prove it. Collapsed the second he sneezed. Had to be hauled to medical by someone stronger and more responsible (Angeal, raving about how "it's because you always on that damn phone). Got chewed out by both the doctors and Angeal, but somehow walked away feeling encouraged + he got a fun scented sticker to put on his cast and Kunsel drew a dick on it so

Cloud: Severe dehydration and exhaustion from treating "mandatory hydration" as a suggestion rather than a law of nature. Was actively avoiding medical like a fugitive until Zack found him slumped in a hallway looking like an overcooked noodle. Zack dragged him to the infirmary as Cloud weakly insisted he just needed "five more minutes." Fought tooth and nail the entire way there, successfully losing every battle. Was forcibly given IV fluids while Zack lectured him like a disappointed parent, but Zack's lecturing sounded like:

Zack: You have to drink water, man. It's literally free. Do you think the mitochondria is just gonna power your cells with vibes? It won't, man. If you don't start taking hydration seriously I'll be forced to resort to drastic measures, like….uh….I don't know…OH! I'll fill my mouth up with water and force it into yours like a mother bird hydrating her young. Cloud: I'LL DRINK WATER—

[vesna-v-irkutske]

do you know which letter artyom mentions nikita in?

Actually, it turned out that Artyom had mentioned Nikita in several other letters, but only briefly (well, at least from what I've seen; I think there's a lot left behind the scenes). Personally, I think this letter somewhat stands out. I think it's from their period in the pre-trial detention center (2011-2013), otherwise it would have been a special form instead of a random piece of paper. This is just a small published snippet (since it's the 9th page).

"The band has a bad name because it has an extraneous person's last name, and it doesn't matter if it's a singer or someone else. I don't like the emphasis on persons in things like band names, etc. But that's just my opinion, I don't criticize those who make music in these directions, using all sorts of nasty things in their names. Some people think that these are childish pranks, whereas this is a peculiar way of expressing their attitude to the problems of modern society. That is, everything has its pros and cons, and so does the work of DP (Dismembered PugachOva) and similar collectives. It's just that their activities can be described ambiguously. As you've already understood, I'm not only talking about the names, but also about the lyrics and music =) However much I like to look at any things or phenomena from all sides, (something was covered up; I wonder if this was done by a censor or by whoever posted it) Well, again, if my memory serves me right, of course =) By the way, I'd like those who dedicate their masterpieces to the DP band, for example, or to the criminal activities of those who committed murders and attempted murders in Akademgorodok in Irkutsk in 2010-2011, to at least just take note of my opinion about all these tributes and glorifications of the so-called "hammermen": all this is being done to the detriment of both me and Lytkin, so I have a wish that the guys slow down and stop at least mentioning me in some texts or somewhere else, if, of course, such facts take place. Of course, I can't decide for Nikita, but I don't think he needs that kind of fame either. I know he wants all this hype, but he just doesn't seem to understand how serious the situation he's in is. I understand that people want to have fun, but let them do it in a way that it doesn't create problems for their idols or those whom they consider to be such. I'm going to ask you, Natasha, to catch someone more rational from them and tell, well, from those who are involved in music there in your communities, and tell them my last words, or rather, their essence. I'm not holding you responsible for the reaction to these words of those to whom they are addressed, I'm just asking you to try to convey them so that it doesn't get any worse =) That's why I drew attention to the fact that it's necessary to convey the essence of these words — you may have to change, add or remove something in them, depending on the situation and the mindset and temperament of the person to whom you will convey this. If, of course, you consider it necessary to fulfill this request =) Thank you in advance =)"

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XVI good omens season 2 (still not traumatic) episode 3 EDINBURGH

HELLO IT'S ME IT'S THE OFFICIAL GOOD OMENS MASCOT WHY DO I STILL KEEP INTRODUCING MYSELF IDK. If you don't know who I am, thank God and Satan for their mercy and flee. Also, the day after I post this, I'll be watching the last three episodes on livestream for the first time so. You know. I'm hyped on the energy of this being my last day not enveloped in tears. Take the summary:

Before the episode starts, someone asks why Crowley said in the last episode that Aziraphale couldn't fall because look at him, all angelic when Crowley looked the same as starmaker. I reply that "Crowley thinks he deserved it, he sees Azi as something beautiful and untouched while he probably sees himself as idk marked in some way so god kicked him down."

I am told that I am learning too fast to weaponise the narrative to induce angst. So then I say oh, I go too fast for you. Tears ensue.

The episode begins! Everyone shrieks about Edinburgh, David Tennant, how it is their favourite episode, and SCOTTISH CROWLEY.

We open with lesbians being gay, and then Muriel enters as Inspector Constable! They are very sweet and very determined to do their job right, and they are adopted by Crowley and Aziraphale just like Jim.

Crowley sits on Aziraphale's chair's arm. The maggots all swoon.

Fine, I also swooned.

Aziraphale gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss-mansplain-manipulate-manwhores his way into getting Crowley to give him the Bentley keys (BOUNDARIES. BOUNDARIES.).

WHAT PLENTY OF USE DO BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF THE BOOKSHOP?

The really ineffable plan is whatever the fuck was happening in Aziraphale's brain when he somehow went from London to Edinburgh via Loch Ness (check the map) and then proceeded to disguise himself as a detective who pretends to be a journalist.

Crowley slays in sleeve garters and a cardigan keeping house in the bookshop meanwhile, does not sell books, instead cleans with Jimbriel and periodically yeets book stacks into corners when distracted.

Aziraphale reads his old diary entries about Crowley, a (6000+) 13 year old with a crush.

MINISODE MINISODE. They are in Edinburgh during the mid 1800s. Victorian outfits, check. Scottish Crowley, check. Capitalist Karen Aziraphale, che-wait what.

Huh. Well. There's a wee bit of body snatchin' going on, to sell to doctors for medical research because there aren't enough murderers, and to make enough money to survive.

Aziraphale channels his inner capitalist judgemental Karen and ruins that plan, come on Aziraphale you have religious trauma but you're better than this, and long story short, Wee Morag dies after Aziraphale realises his error, her friend Elspeth has to sell her corpse for pennies, and is about to commit suicide with laudanum. Azi, oh god. I'm glad you underwent character development at least.

NOW CROWLEY HERE SLAYS. I KNOW THIS IS AZIRAPHALE'S PERSPECTIVE AND IS BIASED. BUT WITH THIS POV, CROWLEY SLAYS.

He calmly educates Aziraphale about how his whole "the poor have more opportunities and you shouldn't give them money or they'll lose the virtue of poverty" is absolute bullshit, and he does this understanding Aziraphale's situation and not losing his temper.

The framing. The framing of the shot when they see Wee Morag and Elspeth sitting down on a step and explaining their situation. Aziraphale stands above, bustling with righteousness, and judges them. Crowley sits down. He sits down next to them, rather than taking the high ground. He meets them where they are and empathises. It is the fact that he is fallen and damned that makes him behave really divine and sorry I wrote a whole hymn on him have it I'll stop rambling just know I love him.

I think his amusement is a facade so hell won't think he's genuinely being good. I think he's morally grey and incredibly brave and kind.

When Elspeth is bouta kill herself with the laudanum, Crowley grabs it and drinks it himself, and grows tiny and then huge, absolutely high off his head. David Tennant takes the opportunity to travel Scotland from east to west in terms of accent variety.

He gives us the good message of NO DYIN'. NO MORE DYIN'. IT'S NOT ON. And then forces Aziraphale (who doesn't want to ruin her virtuous poverty) to give the girl all the guineas he has in his pocket, and tells her to go off and start a farm or something. BUT NOT JUST PRETENDY GOOD, BE PROPERLY GOOD.

He then gets pulled into hell. To be punished for this. Aziraphale is frightened and heartbroken for him, looking around desperately, and we find out that Crowley didn't meet him for a while after. And later he wanted holy water. To protect himself? He got punished by hell. For how long? The whole month in between the incident and the diary entry? There can't be anyone better at punishment and cruelty than hell.

Sorry I'm just screaming here.

Never mind fuck I started this summary really happy and bouncy and listening to a dance playlist. Dionysus by BTS and Italian pop is still playing and now I'm crying.

Is this the natural progression. Fuck I'm crying. Sorry guys something else happens with Aziraphale politely talking to a phone and Crowley smiling really beautifully while unsuccessfully trying to manipulate two lesbians into a relationship and something about a visit I don't care everyone's being morally dubious as usual and then lovely Scottish music outro I CAN'T FUCKING ELABORATE I'M SITTING HERE CRYING OVER CROWLEY.

right summary done, time to go sob, lmao i thought i wouldn't cry today over good omens HAHAHAHA still not traumatic eh HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[gojossocks]

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Genre: fluff, comedy

Summary: you’re watching the final episode of Attack on Titan. Fully captivated with the anime and clearly simping over your favorite fictional character, your boyfriend throws a silly tantrum.

WC: 1.3k

a/n: I hope jjk and aot fans' mental health is okay, here is a fic to make up for the shibuya arc and aot's final ep :")

Gojo Satoru has always been insufferable, it is a known fact to everyone in Jujutsu High. He had been more insufferable this past week, though. 

He had been complaining to his bestfriends about you and Suguru swears that he might shave his whole head or commit murder as a result of his insanity. Being the receiving end of Gojo’s relentless antics can make you go crazy like that. 

Suguru’s sitting on his best friend’s couch, doing the paper that both of them should be doing. Instead, Satoru has been whining endlessly about you, claiming that you aren’t giving him attention anymore since you got hyped for the last episode of your favorite anime show, Attack on Titan. 

“Satoru,” he sighs, rubbing his temples. “It’s normal for our age to be obsessed over shows. She’s not cheating on you, stop being dramatic.” 

“I know but all she does is talk about it!” Satoru crosses his arms over his chest before huffing, glaring at your poor Levi plushie. “Especially that shorty over there.” 

“You’re right, Satoru. Maybe she does love Levi over you.” Suguru smirks at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes which earned a sharp look from his best friend. 

“OH shut the fuck up Sugu-” 

Satoru’s rant came to an abrupt halt when his door swung open. You rushed to him, pulling him in a tight embrace. Caught off guard, Satoru stiffened for a moment before tentatively wrapping his arms around you, rubbing your back in a soothing pattern. His eyes widened when you started to sob, staining his shirt with your tears.  

(Suguru pretends he is non-existent in Satoru’s apartment) 

He couldn’t understand anything you’re saying because you’re sobbing and your voice is muffled with his shirt so he pulls away and looks at you worriedly, concern etching his features.  “What’s wrong, babe? What happened?”

He gently scoops you into his arms, settling on the couch with you nestled on his lap. 

“It’s over, Eren’s dead.” you mumbled, your voice laden with the aftermath of the episode . He couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter  that quickly died down when he saw your puffy eyes and the glare you shot his way. He halted his amused look when he noticed you pulling away but his grip on you remained still, preventing you from escaping. 

He grins at you, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “It’s okay, Y/N. I’m here.” He assures you, his voice soothing. “Let’s get some ice cream and cuddle all day, yeah?” 

Satoru couldn’t help but to revel in the sensation of having your undivided attention, you just look so cute with your pout as you look at him with puppy eyes. The grip you have on him when he soothes you didn’t go unnoticed by him too. His eyes flickered to Suguru, who shook his head begrudgingly on the other side of the couch before returning to his work. 

“It’s such a shame, ‘Toru. I’m gonna miss Levi so much, my pretty pretty baby girl.”  you cooed, your eyes fixed on your phone. Satoru’s eyebrows shot up in confusion before your words registered in his brain.

“HA?!” He exclaimed and glanced over, only to find out that your lock screen wallpaper has been changed. No longer was it graced by Satoru’s cheeky grin as he stole a kiss from you, it had now been replaced by Levi ackerman. You constantly talking about your fictional ‘husband’ annoys your boyfriend but setting him as a wallpaper?! That is so low. You’ve done it now. 

Satoru looks at you in disbelief, his eyes wide in bewilderment. “Y/N! How could you betray your boyfriend like that?! It’s a show, he’s not real. He’s not your baby girl. I am!” 

A giggle escapes your lips as you look up at him“You’re my baby girl?” you teased. 

“That’s not the point.” He complains. “Why don’t you dote on your boyfriend instead?  I’m clearly more attractive and taller than Remy or whatever that guy’s name is.” 

“Satoru, you’ve read the manga. You know who Levi is.” Suguru chimed in, emitting a groan from your boyfriend. 

“Shut up Suguru! I thought you were on my side!” 

The next day, you were surprised when Satoru didn’t accompany you to school as usual. Throughout your shared class, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Not to mention that he styled and parted his hair differently, mirroring the look of your fictional crush. Suguru and Ieri couldn’t contain their laughter when they first caught sight of Satoru’s new look. 

Gone was his usual nosiness and his penchant for poking into other people’s business. Satoru, now wearing a stoic expression, glared at anyone who dared to look at him. It was clear that he was trying to also embody the persona of Levi Ackerman and you don’t know whether to feel concerned, annoyed, or amused. 

The breaking point came after your last class of the day. Back at Satoru's apartment, he continued with his newfound demeanor, and you'd had enough. Despite trying to hold back laughter at the absurdity of the situation, you found yourself missing the usual antics of your clingy and insufferable boyfriend.

When you requested for cuddles and he responded with a dismissive ‘tch.’ and that did it. You decided to take matters into your own hands so you straddled his lap and cornered him, smirking at the visible reaction you elicited from your boyfriend.

His eyes widened, cheeks flushing, as he looked at you in surprise. 

“Got you.” you grinned at him, your voice dripping with amusement. “I thought I was dating Satoru Gojo so why are you acting like Levi?”

He stammered for a moment, clearly caught off guard. "I-I thought you liked this... stoic stuff."

Rolling your eyes, you leaned in, your lips inches away from his ear. "I like my cute and energetic boyfriend way more," you whispered, the warmth of your breath causing a visible shiver to run down his spine.

“Well Satoru Gojo isn’t your wallpaper, is it?”  he grumbled, a hint of jealousy evident from his voice.  

"Come on, 'Toru, don't be jealous. Levi's just a fictional character. You're the real deal. I also changed back my wallpaper!" you opened your phone to reveal your lock screen, hoping to dispel his jealousy. You changed it back to his face. 

“But babe, you don’t love me anymore” he pouted, his lower lip jutting out a mockingly hurt manner, his expression resembling a wounded puppy. “I figured if I became a replica of him, you’d love me again.” 

You wanted to smack him but you decided against it. You know your boyfriend’s smart but you kinda doubted that once he made that conclusion.

“Satoru, it’s just a show. Of course, I love you!” you reassured, offering a warm smile to emphasize your sincerity. 

Satoru sighs in a deliberately exaggerated manner. A playful grin tugs at his lips as he looks at you.  "Fine, but I better get some extra attention tonight to make up for this betrayal," he demanded. 

You chuckled, and leaned in to plant a quick, affectionate kiss on his cheek. "Deal."

“Also, tell me you love me then.” He added, his hand squeezing your thigh. 

“I love you.” you reply sincerely, 

“Hm?” He leans his ear towards you. “What was that?” 

You decided to play along and plant a soft kiss on his lips, "I," another kiss, "love," followed by another, "you." and you conclude with a final, lingering kiss. 

"Happy?" you say, pulling back.

"Very much," Satoru grins at you victoriously. but then, he looks at you with a sly twinkle in his eyes. "Wait, no. Tell me you don't love Levi and that you'll throw your plushie away so I could cuddle you 24/7."

"No."

"BABE!" Satoru whines. 

You can't help but laugh at his theatrics and without a moment's hesitation, you shower him with even more affection and assurances. Needless to say, that day (and perhaps the entire week), you let him hog you to himself, indulging in countless cuddles and sweet gestures to nurse his ego back to full health.

wanna read more?

[uniquethingtastemaker]

Hi Clementine! I found your Jade fic because Sol reblogged it and adytshrgeutrdjghvkguftyfdhgfd)tfhgvjgv!!!!! 💗💗💗💗💗💗 Oh my gosh!! It was just absolutely perfect and I am in love with your writing now!!! 💙💙💙💙💙 Jade is already one of my favorite Twisted Wonderland characters and for you to write something so amazing - like I can’t even right now. This is perfect, you are amazing, and I love you so much for writing such an incredible story with Jade and posting it on here. Thank you so much!

Ahhhhh!! I'm screaming! Thank you for all the compliments! I always love specific ones lol

I looooove Sol too. She's amazing. I've been in her dms talking and discussing ideas. She's helped me a lot

I'm so glad you like my writing! This fanfic for Jade was really fun. I wasn't expecting it to become so good either, but here we are. I love to write stuff in canon, so expect to see more of that

Because you left so much love in my inbox, I'll disclose what I've been working on recently. It brings me joy when I give people some teasers lol... I also have no idea who your fav characters are, so i have no idea if this will interest you. Disclaimer: this is all WIPs, so things are subjected to change lol

I've been writing the "Overblot Slap -- Vil x Reader." That one is going to be a hit. Many people liked my theory if you just slapped Vil, he probably wouldn't overblot, so I'm making it into a fanfic. It will probably end up being 12k too if not a little more. It goes from Vil's "overblot prevention" to marriage, like Jade's

I have it all lined out. However, I'm still talking to @solxamber about Vil's characterization in terms of the man learning emotional processing. I feel like that would be really hard for him because it's not he usually does. It's hard to break habits, but Vil is nothing if not determined.

Like the Jade x Reader fanfic, it has a good variety of scenes and feelings. This one is more fluff, feel good, and wholesome. Unfortunately, no spice scene... so far at least. It doesn't seem necessary. However, there are some huge comedy elements. The Reader is bold as always and occassionally sassy.

I will disclose a little tiny, tiny teaser to get people hyped:

It's a wild move to stomp up to an almost overblotting Vil, slap him, and then say, "Yeah, you're ugly. You've been acting ugly for awhile now. You almost committed murder because of your stupid ego and inferiority complex. Not everything's about you. You don't get to decide you've lost when you haven't even performed. You're shirking your responsibilities as the team leader."

I read that and kinda lose my mind because what a power move. Again, Reader is bold and so done lol

It's so nice to see Vil so happy in this too. The progression is endearing to watch

We got a Rook x Observant Reader. I'm still playing around with it. I'm not sure how their relationship will play out. I have the first meeting and then Reader semi-catching Rook spying on them. It's more like "oh, i'll investigate where I think he was and check for anything that would indicate he was here." Then they realize that might be intimidating or threatening to someone who wants to stay hidden, so they just kinda apologize to air, knowing Rook is somewhere in the area lol

However, it's unclear where I go after that. I know that Vil's going to a problem. It's Chapter 5. What do you expect?

I'd like to write something with Azul (the man was so funny in the Jade x Reader). I'm not 100% how that will look. I have an idea that might turn into a series. Idk if I'm going to fully commit. Basically take characters realizing their sentient and they're kinda in a game. They kinda get one of those isekai systems where it's like "don't let the Reader know you're sentient and you can earn points." So they get to know Reader that way. Then maybe they're about to die and so Azul pulls them into Twisted Wonderland. That's really the only way I can think of a romance happening with Azul.

As someone so guarded and assuming everyone has ulterior motives, I feel like if Azul would be hard to get to. If didn't have the security of like "oh this person doesn't know i can hear them. Therefore, they will just say their true feelings about me because they don't have a reason not to," then it would be a lot harder

This concept would also be fun for an Idia x Reader. The whole "oh my god, i'm in a game" moment is great. He make so many fun anime trope references and whatnot. He's also so sassy and sarcastic. I haven't written for him before but this seems hilarious to me. I can envision it now.

Technically, I think all the overblot students could have a concept like this. Maybe everyone honestly.

This was also inspired by my reaction to Octavinelle revealing Jamil as the mastermind behind the chaos or whatever. I remember screaming in outrage when Jamil hypnotized Azul. Then the cheer that went up after the twist happened was so loud. So I thought it would be funny if Azul could hear the Reader during that section. He doesn't have anyone like that in game, so I thought I would give it to him

[woodchipp]

Hot take: jokes about censoring Jimmy's name or on the vein of "I'm sorry you had to draw J*mmy, here let me edit it out for you :(" are not just childish, but miss the whole point of the story.

Jimmy is not some sort of unique Satanic evil. He's not worse than many, many other villains who have committed murder, rape and abuse. The whole point of his character, which is obvious from his design, is that he is a common man. His awful actions stem from human desires and fears, like the loss of a job, a life of "struggle", and the desire of control and appreciation.

Refusing to acknowledge him, censoring him, reducing him only to "that asshole who raped Anya", comes from the same desire to dehumanize criminals: the belief that there is a category of people beneath us, and only they are capable of horrible actions. Which is the opposite of what Mouthwashing, as a story, shows, which is how easily one can just... not do the right thing, and hurt others.

(also Swansea is nowhere near the badass hero the fandom hypes him as. bro was just as much of a sexist to anya as jimmy, and probably reacted to her confession by telling her to get drunk)

Strongly agree | Agree | Neutral | Disagree | Strongly disagree

I don't have much to add. Not only is reducing Jimmy to "that asshole who raped Anya" a very simplistic and surface-level reading of him as a character, it's also a reductive reading of Anya as a character. She is the kind of person who wonts to see the best in other people, she can be playful and competitive, she's attentive to the point of noticing the smallest things and problems, she has a knack for photography, she's able to deduce the mouthwash couldn't be used as a disinfectant at a glance - point is, she's so much more than what Jimmy did to her.

She's a great, tridimensional character and I like her a lot <3

As for Swansea, the man himself explicitly says Daisuke's death is the only regret he's got at the end of the day. I think people tend to forget that while he genuinely cared about Daisuke, he also didn't give a shit about anyone else.

Considering that he has to have noticed Anya's bloodied corpse while searching for disinfectant in the medbay, the fact he doesn't mention Anya in his last speech whatsoever directly implies he didn't consider her/her death important enough to mention.

[magenta-malice]

TADC theory and OC-story concept

I haven't been active on this blog for a while now, and that's sadly because I kinda fell out of the TADC–Jax hype. I'm hoping ep5 will bring back some interest in the show for me (not sure about it, but we'll see!), BUT I did want to make a post and share:

a darker, probably-unlikely TADC theory that I’ve been thinking about

and an also darker and detailed story idea with my TADC OC (which the fics A Slithering Adventure and Stress Relief are part of)

TW: mention of depression, self-destructive tendencies, drug addiction, suicide (oh boi...)

WC: 7277

Let me know if you find any of them interesting!

Also changed the name of this blog cause I wanted to switch it up with my main that I don't even use.

1. THEORY: The Circus is a Digital Prison / Rehabilitation Program

This one isn’t tied to any OC, but more of a theory-lore idea.

What if the digital circus was never supposed to be a circus at all? What if it started out as a government-funded or corporate-backed digital prison?

The original idea was to develop a new kind of incarceration. Instead of physical prison, they would digitally upload the minds of criminals and mentally unstable individuals into a simulated world. Their memories and identities were stripped, and they were dropped into a surreal, chaotic environment meant to break them psychologically and eventually rewire them into "model citizens".

As time went on, the system evolved. The circus was just the latest version of the simulation: something colorful, distracting, and bizarre enough to keep inmates occupied while still applying extreme mental stress.

The cast members we know (Pomni, Jax, Ragatha, etc.) are just the most recent batch of inmates. Every one of them committed a crime in the real world, ranging from severe to petty, depending on how far they were willing to go as humans. Some ideas for what they could've done:

Murder (Jax?);

Cybercrime or hacking, possibly part of an anti-corporate movement (Kinger, Pomni?);

Repeated vandalism (Ragatha?);

Arson (Gangle?);

Anarchist actions (Zooble?)

NOTE that I haven't put too much thought into the crime ideas and matching them with the characters. But this would tie with Goose saying they actually deserve to be there (or at least I think they said that, not sure).

Caine wasn’t always the ringleader – he was created to become the AI warden. His happy, chaotic personality is a mask meant to pacify the inmates and is a part of the psychological manipulation. His goal is to keep the inmates distracted and compliant, until someone steps out of line, and things get darker.

The abstracted aren’t glitches. They’re inmates who broke under pressure, people whose minds fractured beyond repair. The “cellar” isn’t a hidden corner of the circus. It’s solitary confinement. It’s where the system dumps those it can’t control.

This theory would mean none of the cast members are there by accident. They were chosen, one by one - erased from the real world by powerful people who are still watching their suffering from the outside, using it as both control and entertainment.

2. My Own Story and My OC, Azryn

This one could actually be darker in a sense, so just bear with me lol.

Azryn was the first human ever trapped in the digital circus. Long before Pomni and the others arrived, she was already there – alone and terrified. In the real world, Azryn struggled with severe depression, suicidal ideation, and drug addiction. On the night she planned to take her life, she mysteriously woke up in the digital circus.

Additional lore I wasn't sure about:

She had a close friend (or ex-partner) who was a talented programmer. They saw Azryn’s addiction and self-destructive spiral and, instead of helping her, became obsessed with the idea of "fixing" her. When they found her overdosing, they uploaded her mind into the digital circus - believing they had “saved” her by giving her a second life. But in truth, they only trapped her in a nightmare she couldn’t escape from.

I was also thinking they created the circus together, but I’m not entirely sure which direction I want to go with that yet.

After waking up in the digital world, Azryn believed she had actually died and ended up in some kind of hell. She locked herself in her room and refused to interact with Caine, who was already there at that point.

But whoever uploaded Azryn into the circus didn’t disappear. From the outside, they could still watch her suffer, monitor her every move, and even manipulate Caine from time to time. Azryn doesn’t know exactly how, but she can feel it: she’s being watched. Controlled. Punished.

Sometimes, in the quiet moments when no one else is around, she breaks down and screams at the walls, her voice raw and hopeless: “Are you enjoying this?” “Is this what you wanted?” “Is this what saving me means to you?”

Over time, more and more cast members appeared (I imagined the person who put Azryn there would have this twisted mission of "fixing" other people as well). The world around her became louder, weirder, and more unbearable. Azryn tried every possible way to die in the circus, but nothing worked. Eventually, her mind broke, and she abstracted – but her abstraction was different. She retained her consciousness in the cellar. Down there, she could still feel. She could still see. She witnessed the pain of every lost cast member, felt the weight of their loneliness, and realized that someone had to stop this place from continuing.

Somehow, after what seemed like forever, Azryn magically appeared back in the circus: fully intact, fully aware, and deeply changed. But she kept her past a secret. When she reappeared (sometime after Pomni’s arrival), she pretended to be a new arrival, claiming she didn’t know anything. Only Kinger had a vague sense of familiarity about her, because they used to be friends before Azryn abstracted – but his fractured mind couldn’t put it together.

Azryn's true goal is to end the circus and find a way out – but she lies to the others to protect them. She fears that if they knew who she really was (or what she knew), they’d panic.

That fear proves true when Caine eventually turns on her. At first, he simply avoids her, as if he’s unsure whether to acknowledge her return. But when she starts investigating the circus too deeply and planting ideas of escape in others, he retaliates. He sees her as a threat to the system - and maybe even to his own sense of control.

When the truth starts surfacing, Caine manipulates the rest of the cast into believing Azryn is the one who created the circus. He spreads the idea that “C&A” stands for “Caine & Azryn,” and claims that she’s responsible for trapping everyone. This breaks her completely and forces her to fight back.

I also imagined her to have a slow-burn, enemies-to friends-to lovers relationship with Jax lol. From the start, Azryn saw straight through Jax’s antics and called him out, which annoyed him enough to target her constantly. But over time, through being stuck together in adventures and sharing vulnerable moments, they grew closer. Jax eventually opened up to her, only to later feel deeply betrayed when her true backstory was revealed. He was hurt that he had trusted her with his feelings while she had kept everything hidden.

Final thought I had:

If Azryn had already died in the real world, then escaping the circus would be impossible for her - she wouldn’t have a body to wake up to. Even if she and the others eventually found a way out, Azryn wouldn’t be able to go with them. She’d be left behind, all alone in there once again, just like how it all started.

I imagined this ending with a quiet, devastating goodbye between her and Jax. After everything they went through - the fights, the trust, the slow healing - he’d be forced to leave her behind, and she'd have to let him go. She’d smile through it, trying to be strong for him. And once they’re all gone, she’d be alone in the empty circus… still standing, still fighting, but finally at peace with her fate, knowing she's saved everyone there.