#How to Write an Opening Chapter
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Rip lamp. You will be missed
this is my little piece of fanart of chapter 10’s final scene from @qoldenskies’s amazing fic Clipped wings
GO READ IT. GO READ THE CANARY CONTINUITY. BEWARE: it’s REALLY GOOD BUT HEAVY. ANGST ALL THE WAY
#i REALLY LOVE this story#the writing#emotions#EVERYTHING. BUT PIZZA SUPREME IN THE SKY I WANNA SCREAM AT LEO#canary continuity#Rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#fanart#sorry for the photo quality#It’s in my sketchbook and my camera is shit#~about the piece~#I saw the author talking about the lamps symbolism#the last light donnie has#and the bowl scene earlier#so i REALLY wanted to point the LIGHT aspect out by making the room completly dark and the glass bright yellow. yay contrast!#THIS WAS MADE BEFORE CHAPTER 11#this is just how i think the scene in Dee’s room will play out#Theory 1#the fam will come RUNNING to Donnie’s room but he won’t open the door bc he’s freaking out and trying to clean the glass with his BARE HAND#and they won’t be able to do anything ( or maybe they can try to portal in?)#Theory 2#Raph will break down the door right away and give himself and Donnie flashbacks freaking him out even MORE#MAKING THE SITUATION EVEN WORSE#ANYWAY. thx for reading this mess of a post
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hello I love love love pez dispenser debris with my whole chest. its my roman empire I treat it like its canon.
Its so fun going back and re-reading everything (but especially the social media parts) after seeing your Battle of Yokohama posts. Its not even a fic?? but still managed to make me emotional??
I also notice and appreciate how you're setting up the stage for the whole thing (?) with bakugou. Like. There's Izuku's subtle resentment that's barely noticeable to the naked eye. There's that starburst scar. There's the tremble in Little Izuku's hands.
But then the first time he's really introduced it's through KIRISHIMA's pov!!! Kirishima who only has a boundless supply of love and affection for him. Kirishima who says THIS line: "He’s fucking good, and he’s always known it, and there’s not a single person out there that could ever change his mind about that. "
And the Audience shifts uncomfortably in their seats. They exchange nervous looks. They can hear the Greek chorus in the background. But they don't get the chance to make excuses or hide from reality because immediately after? We find out the awful, heart wrenching detail of that injury....you know, the on that left that starburst scar?
THE DREAD THE DICHOTOMY THE DISSONANCE
its gonna be a shitshow and i am HERE FOR IT
I’m so so glad you like it!
I won’t confirm or deny anything with Bakugou but I am very excited for my plans for him in pez. I hope y’all like it as much as I do.
Bakugou’s one of those characters that I had to shelve for the sake of pacing. The inclusion of some characters precludes certain plots or storylines or arcs for the other characters. So I sort of push them back to give the other characters a chance to breathe.
Yagi had the same issue. None of the very early events in pez would have worked out right if Yagi had been there, because he would have showed up to the hospital room, and putting All Might himself in the room is just a fucking grenade toss into the life of any version of Midoriya Izuku.
It’d fuck up the pacing. “All Might” affirming Izuku’s story kicked off Theory Four for Tiny Izuku. Having All Might in the room from the start would have fucked with Izuku’s initial reliance on theories 1-3, the start of his relationship with Hitoshi, his first meeting with the class, all of it.
So Yagi ended up shelved for the open of action so Tiny Izuku and Hitoshi and Aizawa could have their time developing before his presence pulled the pin on the grenade, so to speak. Which culminated in making up a nebulous fake gala in America for him to be attending and tossing in some jokes about how his agency fucking hated his guts.
It helps with the pacing. Aizawa can’t properly build tension if Yagi’s there to help smooth things over or sort of take the lead on this from the start. There’s a chance (not a good one, but a chance) that Yagi could have swooped in and convinced Aizawa to let him handle this had he been the one to arrive at the hospital wing first. If he had been an option, Izuku probably would have called him first and tried avoiding looping in Aizawa at all.
Aizawa’s had time to start understanding just how fucked this entire thing is. Every single point of his investigation uncovers new abuses with terrifying implications, and the fact that Yagi knew something from the beginning hangs over him throughout like a specter. And by the time Yagi finally comes off the shelf, Aizawa’s at the point of boiling over. It culminated in that contentious, infuriated discussion in the halls that wouldn’t have felt realistic for me if Yagi had been there from the beginning. Aizawa needed to hold his student’s burnt and bloody shirt in his hands and have to wonder if Yagi knew about this to get to the point where he’s punching lockers.
Bakugou’s got the same issues as Yagi. He’s the pin on a grenade that gets pulled as soon as he gets involved. Without even touching on how Izuku got injured, he’s just too tangled in Izuku’s canonical past to properly build up narrative tension and let the other characters slowly figure out how they occupy this story.
Like, obviously I won’t say what I’ll do with him in pez, but it’s one of those things where it’d utterly fuck the narrative pacing if he was involved from the start. It would feel rushed and off balanced. The overall story needs more time to build tension before really addressing him.
So he ends up on the shelf for the first part, and I have him be in the gym without his phone because he exercises without music like a psychopath. The other characters get to meet Tiny Izuku without him Right There, already knowing him and being able to be questioned about what the fuck happened.
Then, when he finally shows up, he gets a very slow assimilation into the narrative. He’s only there in flashes. He’s not doing much actively because he’s trying to talk to Izuku first. We don’t see his POV.
I personally love sitting on a POV, as like, a writing mechanic until the time is right. It’s just so useful for building conflict and avoiding reveals until the perfect moment.
The entire class has a very different understanding of Izuku and Bakugou’s relationship than what happened in canon. Half of them low key believe Kaminari’s theory that they were each other’s disastrous gay awakening and that’s why they were at each other’s fucking throats when school began.
Both Bakugou and Izuku are in a very interesting position where they’ve had the (questionable) benefit of growing and changing and building major relationships without the people in their lives knowing about their past. Now, they’ve found out about Izuku’s past, and he feels like the foundation of those relationships are getting ripped out. Pez is playing a game of jenga with their interpersonal relationship right now. They haven’t figured out yet if the entire tower comes down.
#pez dispenser debris#I’m SO glad you like it#pez is one of those ‘it gets worse before it gets better’ fics#it’s still getting worse it’s got a lot to go of getting worse actually#Idk I think of major personal growth as something profoundly difficult#do you have any idea how long it takes me to get off my bullshit#and the underlying psychological conflicts in pez aren’t minor they’re at the bedrock of who they are as people#it’s a bloody and painful exorcism of past ghosts#you can sort of tell I was just sort of punting Yagi early fic#I was like ‘idk fuck he’s in meetings???’ and then I was like ‘FUCK I have to make up an actual event for the tweet okay he’s at a gala fuck#yagi was doing whatever the fuck let him not be there at the open of action I needed Aizawa to brew in the desire to throttle him#Yokohama continues to be my guilty pleasure#I love to sprinkle it in to the social media bits and chapters#I’m like smacking myself like ‘you need to stop you need to STOP they don’t know what happened it’s not in this fic it won’t be in this fic’#and then i’m like ‘Yokohama meme tho’#still playing with actually writing that thing. I’ve started it and then I had to backtrack#like the issue with just opening with Yokohama is that as a premise it’s kind of hard to swallow unless there’s time to build in the social#decline that caused it. like you need the sidekick strike you need the growing crime levels the tension etc to understand why it was such a#big deal and to understand why literally just these kids showed up. so now I’m back at the sports festival like ‘I am not writing an entire#goddamn sports festival.’ it also puts me in a unique position of potentially having two ongoing and concurrent fics actively spoiling each#other. like some of what happens on those random two weeks between the sports festival and pez will be mentioned in pez and Yokohama has#already been mentioned in pez so pez spoils any potential Yokohama fic and Yokohama potentially spoils pez depending on when it all gets#published. it’s. it’s a weird time. also I’m in this weird chicken and egg debacle where me discussing it on my tumblr makes me#me more likely to then weave it into pez. like there may be vague references to Izuku’s Adventure In The Underground now because it’s on my#mind way more now that I’ve talked about it here. it’s. it’s weird time
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I'm so mad actually I can't believe some people took this scene in chapter 3 and turned it into a who's right about their grief when the scene in chapter 4 literally has ivypool saying I don't mean to make it all about me- haven't thought much about how dovewing is handling her own grief- people read chapter 3 and to me it seems as if chapter 4 doesn't even exist and the rest of what ivypool says in chapter three after saying this doesn't as well
“Dovewing, I’m truly sorry that Rowankit died. But losing a sickly kit—a kit you’ll be reunited with in StarClan one day—is different from losing a full-grown cat who was just coming into her own as a warrior. A cat who doesn’t exist anywhere—who is just gone.”
ignored this and what was said and called it a day
#im so done i cant take it anymore how can you read something like this and view it like that wheres the nuance ivypool right what??? this-#scene is literally ivypool speaking on their grief and their mind ivypool literally says i dont mean to make this all about me-#ive done so little to make sure dovewing is okay she also lost a kit ivypool realized that dovewing understood her fears mean nothing to yo#hello its right there read it ivypool says one shitty thing in chapter three then goes back on it no one cares like okay what the hell sure#dovewing shouldve been mad here wrong dovewing was being understanding throughout the whole convo dammmmmmm she knows ivypool is letting-#their grief eat away at them one of the few scene where these two actually get talk anything out in oots those two barely talked and kept-#secrets away from one another so why would dove start snapping back please be so for real!! i know these two had a scene in the updated-#ultimate guide talked it out for once and left closer than they ever been thats again what is need here dovewing should have been angry-#here andddd what was that going to doing here actually nothing at all#like damm read the rest of the chapters too becuz the whole icewing part skipped over just for more dumbass discourse over whether ivypool-#was right or wrong or dovewing should be angry here thats not even what the third/fouth chapter is about i need to stop writing#no no i cant believe it is that your only takeaway man like come on chapter three then chapter four ivy obviously again feels more regret-#well ivy shouldnt have said that buddy of course ivy is going to open up about it for one they dont believe dovewing can relate them fully-#and dove asked so youre saying because she asked ivy ivy shouldve compared their child death to doves were going to in circles#ivypools heart#ivypool#dovewing#icewing#probably shouldnt tag miss icey but she is here too so whatver guess she stays
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banner art by the amazing @eluvisen !
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Open Your Eyes and It Will Blind You - Chapter 6
Pairing: Jaheira/Rasaad Characters: Jaheira, Rasaad, OC Bhaalspawn (Caden), Aerie, Imoen, Minsc Rating: G Warnings: None Descriptors: Angst, Avoidance, Fix-It, Slow Burn, Romantic Tension, Canon-Typical Violence, Fake Character Death, Grief Fic Word Count (Thus Far): 31k Chapter Word Count: 5.8k Setting: Several years after BG2 TOB Summary: Years after the defeat of Irenicus and Melissan, Jaheira and Rasaad are both still haunted by the things they have lost, and neither of them is much good at opening up despite how deeply they’ve come to care for each other. When Rasaad decides he must travel to Calimshan to face up to his brothers in Sun Soul, she and their friends insist on accompanying him, and the two must begin to come to terms with their unacknowledged feelings while uncovering a deep darkness that has infected the place Rasaad once called home. (Chap 6/?) Chapter Summary: Jaheira and her companions break into the Selunite monastery in search of information about Gahan and his Sharran loyalties - and discover far more than they expected. read on ao3 | send me fic requests!
It takes them the better part of the day to track down an entrance to the tunnel system.
Jaheira remembers Rasaad describing a passageway from the markets, but most of the shopkeepers in the khanduq merely seem baffled by the idea. Others squint as if they expect an amlakkar trap, and say nothing at all. But gold paves many roads, and the combination of Caden's purse and utterly guileless sincerity ultimately gets them what they are looking for, from a young apothecary's apprentice hauling crates off the back of a wagon.
“Sure, I know what ya mean." The girl pauses in her work, her dark eyes sweeping over their odd little group with mild and wary fascination, as if she is examining a bit of unexpected and exotic wildlife. Then she shrugs and hoists herself up to sit on one of the loose crates, rattling the bottles within. "You're talkin' about the tunnels to the harbor. Master Adel uses 'em plenty when he’s shipping in rare herbs; Cal’port’s taxes are murder.”
"That does sound like it might be what we seek," says Caden. His eyes are shadowed from grief and lack of sleep and there’s a touch of stubble on his jaw, giving him a ragged and exhausted look. But with the girl, who can’t be more than fifteen, he is instinctively gentle, his voice soft and his smile good-humored. "Might those tunnels go elsewhere besides the harbor as well?"
She relaxes, drawing herself into a cross-legged position on top of the crate, and returns his smile with a cautious one of her own. "Where ya trying to get, stranger?" she asks. "Most places ‘round here have a plenty good front door."
"Hypothetically speaking... perhaps the door is closed," Caden answers carefully.
"Ah." The girl lifts her eyebrows with a knowing nod. "Amlakkar trouble, eh?” This seems to cheer her up a little; apparently it’s a motivation she can easily fathom. “Well - there's plenty 'a branches off the tunnels, for sure. My master and I don't touch 'em, though."
Jaheira stirs, rousing herself with effort from her own thoughts. "If you can get us into the tunnels," she mutters, "I can find our way from there."
Caden produces a handful of gold from his pouch, offering it to the girl. "You can tell us how to get in, then?"
"Sure. Furthest boat slip west, there's a door marked with blue paint. Anyone asks, tell them Adel sent you." The girl grins, pocketing the coins. "Hope you enjoy the trip. Place stinks something awful," she adds with some relish.
"Stinks?" Aerie asks politely.
The girl laughs. "Well, of course. It’s the sewer route; what else d’you expect?"
Read More on AO3
Tag List:
@redfoxwithaccount @yeehawitsjakee @the-magpie-collective @rhysintherain @justlet-melive
@scribblingface @writer86 @thedarkstrategist @marigoldbaker @krawwan
@eluvisen
(Want to join one of my tag lists? Click here!)
#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 2#bg2#baldur's gate fanfiction#baldur's gate fic#jaheira#jaheira baldur's gate#jaheira bg2#rasaad yn bashir#jaheira x rasaad#rasaad x jaheira#open your eyes#open your eyes and it will blind you#jaheira fanfic#the tagging struggle is real as always XD#but eyyyyyy we're back!#quite pleased with how this turned out#and very glad to be getting the writing mojo back :3#ty to everyone who has been helping me lately with beta or encouragement or just listening to me ramble <3#i appreciate you all#and hope y'all enjoy this chapter :3
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Ride 787: The back that was pushed!!

Pag 1
1: Packed with the passion of everyone in Sohoku... a full throttle injection of will-power!!

Pag 2
1: Iitsuka-san!!
Goo Fukuoka!!
Oh, Tomaribata!!
Fukuoka, take the mountain!!
2: What about Hakogaku's Manami!?
3: Don't worry about him. He did catch up to me but then suddenly stopped
When I shouted at him, he closed his eyes and fell silent!!
4: Is it because he found out that Iitsuka-san is Fukuoka Josei's “mountain shogun”?
Yeah, probably!!
Amazing!!
5: Let's take the lead now!!
Ahead there's also Fujiwara-san from the Kyuushu team Kumadai!!
6: But anyway for a moment I was so scared....

Pag 3
1: When Hakogaku sent ahead their ace Manami!!
2: I can hear it
4: The first day's mountain prize!! Let's take it, at our hometown's Inter High!!
5: Wait....!!
6: “The sound of wheels”? “He's catching up”?
Could it be that Manami is waiting for someone?

Pag 4
1: And that's why he slowed down....!?
2: Raise your pace, Tomaribata!!
4: We're still at the start of the mountain, if we use up our legs here....
It's fine, we'll establish a good distance now
Huh!? But
Think, idiot!! If you think about it, you'll get it!! The person Manami slowed his legs down to wait for....

Pag 5
1: It's Sohoku's “Mountain King”!!



Pag 8
1: Mountain King!!
2: Fo-fo-for the first day's mountain!?
Why even the Mountain King, even the Mountain King!!
I don't know!! I don't know but that doesn't change the reality!!
3: Last year so many times we couldn't race each other
So I thought that maybe this year too...
4: What do I do if he doesn't come, I thought....
5: I was scared
6: For a while I couldn't even open my eyes

Pag 9
2: I caught up
4: Thank god it's real!!

Pag 10
1: You came, Sakamichi-kun
Yeah!! Manami-kun!!

Pag 11
1: Can we race?
2: Yes!!

Pag 12
3: Everyone in the team pushed my back!!

Pag 13
1: Onoda-kun!!
2: He should have caught up with Manami around now!!
3: Onoda-san!!
4: Hahaha!!
5: Back-gate slope-senpai!!
6: At full throttle!!
At full throttle!!
Run!!
Please run!!

Pag 14
1: Nghh...!!
2: “Nghhh” it's right!!
3: Ahaha
Hahaha
They're suddenly laughing, let's raise our pace!!
Yes!!
4: It was during your training camp on our first year
5: When we raced for the first time
6: I remember I was so excited when I heard that our names were “Sakamichi” and “Sangaku”
It's the perfect combo!!

Pag 15
1: I was surprised you didn't even have your feet fastening on
We stopped at the summer house and talked
2: We were so free back then!!
We didn't have any responsibility, not teams nor jerseys!!
3: Ahaha
4: When you're in second and third year the things you have to do increases so much....
5: I'd throw this “captain” title away anytime!!
Hahaha I get it, it's difficult for me too

Pag 16
1: If someone on my team heard that they would get angry
Doubashi-kun especially would get angry!!
Sounds scary...
4: You're wearing the number “3”
Ah, yeah, uhm, we talked with everyone on the team
Huh.... on official races the winner of the previous year should wear the number “1”
5: I see, leave it to me then
I'll push through, hahaha!!
Thank you!!
Is.. is that alright?
Waa, Pierre-sensei is so reliable!!
6: Your teacher....!!
Then...
7: Yeah, “3” like Makishima-san's “173”

Pag 17
1: I'm also wearing Toudou-san's number “13”
2: “Sleeping beauty”!!
Kuah!! Toudou!!

Pag 18
1: That day, the first day of the Inter High two years ago
2: While we were pulling the team, I imagined those two fighting for the mountain prize....
3: I'm sure they must be having fun
Fighting until you're empty
It can't not be fun!!
4: We can't go right now, but let's do it
A fight until the last drop, until our limits!!
Yeah!!
5: We promised to race
Today may be the day to truly make that wish....

Pag 19
1: come true!!

Pag 20
1: Our third year, the last Inter High
2: The first day.... a fight to compete only for the colored bib
3: The purity of this race is infinitely high!!
4: Yeah!!

Pag 21
5: Let's do it, Manami-kun!!

Pag 22
2: I've been waiting to hear those words!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 787#THEYRE SO CUTE YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#pag 15 is the cutest thing ever#MANAMI IS SO EXCITED!! LOOK AT HIM BEING SO HAPPY!!!#he couldnt even open his eyes at first bc he was scared it wasnt real and onoda wouldnt be there#EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY#i love this so much you have no idea#manami being like 'id throw away the title of captain tbh' and onoda being like 'yeah i get it mood' lmao#i love seeing how their friendship goes both way#bc we always see onoda liking manami so much ya know#like hes the one whos always thinking about him etc#while manami takes 3 months to reply to him via text lmao but thats just manami being manami#i swear if kiji or midosuji crush this sansaka date imma throw hands#(i know it will probably happen tbh)#oh another thing! THE PARALLELS!! man i love parallels so much and the fact that theyre paralleling exactly maki-chan and toudou is#making me emotional#and also it makes me think that the end of this ih will parallel the first one meaning the two finalists will be first years#like roku vs tobirama and roku will win! wishful thinking? perhaps!! who knows!!#anyway the urge to write a sansaka fic after this chapter is strong. specifically some sort of 5+1 fic
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Do you think you will ever check out Raincode? It's made by the same people who made DR but with a more focus on mystery. (It has the same vibes and stuff, I feel like you would like it a lot) another thing, the writing is so banger
Yes, I've already played Raincode!! Really enjoyed it, especially for the DR-like vibe and I actually made charms of the main cast:
I have sketches of Yomi and Yakou that I've been meaning to add to this set for ages but haven't been able to bring myself to refine them ;v; Makes me happy when people recognize the Raincode merch at cons tho! I'm really excited for Kodaka's new game too, I haven't played the demo yet!
#i think raincode just didnt have the same grip as DR for me#while i enjoyed it a lot and the general plot kept me hooked i think there were plot points that i wish had been explored more#and the ending was a bit predictable to me which doesnt necessarily make it bad but it set it up to be very shocking and then it was kinda#like yeah... saw that coming ages ago#i think there was a lot i wanted from the premise of the game that it just didnt provide which tbf happens quite often in DR too#but i think the biggest thing is that the characters in raincode feel a bit one dimensional and dont really get devloped as much as id like#now i played before the DLC content was released and have yet to play the DLC so ik that the charas get more fleshed out in that but the#game felt a little bit incomplete to me without that#i think dr appeals to me so well bc the main plot of the game allows for extremely strong archetypes of characters so even when theyre bein#comically over the top or die off early there's still a lot of room for personal headcanons and theories#but raincode misses the mark on that just a tiny bit#perhaps its also just that the cast is so small too#i like the dr murder mysteries bc whether im attached to the victim or murderer or hate their guts im personally invested in the trials#with raincode i didnt like that most of the mysteries felt so impersonal and the NPCs more often than not were generic#it def removed a layer of investment for me#ALL THAT TO SAY. I DONT DISLIKE RAINCODE#like i said i really enjoyed it and i think chapter 3?? Or whichever chapter they infiltrate the school in was my favorite specifically bc#it actually does kinda hit the mark with having NPC's with proper designs and also i really like desuhiko and his ability despite him being#the “pervert” archetype#all of this is mostly reflection on why it doesnt have as much of a vice grip as danganronpa has on me even after all these years#but as a game it was really fun to play and i did enjoy the overall storyline#i think yomi mightve been my next kokichi if his writing didnt flop so hard towards end game#he was so my type of character and then he just kinda. ended up doing nothing.#also i think makoto is ugly. no offense. send tweet#askibble#OH ONE MORE THING i really enjoyed the initial chapter and how the game opens up but im really mad that they didnt call back to the prologu#detectives at all#like i really thought maybe they'd at least haunt the narrative but nooppee#i really like that one girl pucci. or wahtegver her name was#ive been wanting to replay it recently tbh
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Limbo
Previous I Masterlist I Next
CWs: dissociation/derealisation [whumpee thinking they aren't really alive], mentioned torture, mentioned character death, a candid conversation about death with Death the jolly fellow himself, angel whumpee, deity whumper, religious themes, carewhumper, the poor boy has no idea what's coming the boy is not doing so well :/ if only there was someone who cared :pensive: ( <- actively making him worse)
“Am I dead?”
The angel looks far away, grey, foggy under his skin. He perches on the bed he was provided, in the lavish guest room he was given. It's an emperor-size bed; it makes him look little with his bruised-up legs hanging off the edge.
Sitting at the long dinner table, legs propped up as he leans back in his chair, Grim hums distractedly. — “Hm?”
“Am I dead?” — Auden repeats after a swallow of consideration, this time at least managing to sound like he wasn't just talking to himself.
The Reaper’s lips curl with a slow hum. He forgets about the pen he was twirling — always playing, always busying his hands with something. A pen, a blade, someone's hair. His hand pauses only briefly, then he continues spinning it between his fingers like he never stopped. — “Mm. It feels like that, doesn’t it.”
There is the sound of thunder, far away, but close enough that Auden can hear it rumble. The sound of his Fall. It scares him so much he can barely breathe. His hands dig into the heavenly soft sheets, feeling undeserving. A moment passes.
“Mori,” — he starts quietly, voice breaking, — “they um… I did not mean to, I really didn't, but I asked them how uh, h-how they got,” — he gestures vaguely in the direction of the intimidating double doors leading into the bedroom, — “...here.”
He feels so similar to how he felt on the day Grim brought him home. Weak and hazy, no particular colour to him. Just tired. Shaken, commanding about as much presence as a ghost.
“It was really stupid, I know. It would be insensitive to ask anyone that, right? Especially so out of the blue, like I did. But I did not m-mean it um, literally. I just thought — I thought they were so nice. So kind. They, I, I did not expect anyone here to be nice. Not to me. I-It surprised me.”
They never found out what he really meant. He meant it to be a compliment. They took it as an order. — “That is what I had meant,” — he tells the Mori in his memory, a small murmur, as if they could still hear him, still trying to explain himself.
“They had gone quiet, and I um, I told them they didn't have to t-tell me anything they didn't want to. I felt horrible. But I asked them, so they answered.”
Now Auden is the one going quiet. He doesn't know how to continue, or if he even wants to. His melancholic rambling isn't even fully directed at the Reaper. Grim’s interest has been piqued, however. — “And what did they tell you?”
Auden squirms, frowning. — “Not pleasant things.”
“Is that so,” — muses the deity, expecting this to be the end of the conversation. For a minute it was, but then the angel finds it in himself to continue.
“They told me they came close to dying, many times. They told me they did die, but not literally — that confused me a little, but I’m, uh, I think I am starting to get it.” — Stealing a glance at the Reaper, he sees a bit of humour glint in his vermilion eyes. He must know the story as well as Mori, though, unlike them, he clearly finds the tale a lot more amusing. — “They said they barely remembered who they were before… before you um, saved them.”
The way he is saying all this makes it seem like he has some sort of conundrum he must solve. Like every bit of information Mori had relayed to him is a puzzle piece. However, while it is fun hearing about how Mori remembers their meeting, Grim does not enjoy long roundabout tangents that go on forever. Setting aside the pen, he stretches, swinging those heavy boots off the table, and fixes Auden with a questioning look. — “This is a lovely retelling darling, but is there somewhere you are going with this? Or did you just feel like sharing with me something I already know?”
The thunderstorm flies ever closer. Static ruffles the feathers on Auden's wings. His shoulders hitch higher, hiding him.
“You saved Mori…”
“Mhm.”
“And you saved me, from the, the dragon lady.”
Grim laughs. — “I did.”
“S-So, since Mori was saved by you when they were dying, and I was saved when I was near death, and we both ended up here, here w-with, well, with you…” — he trails off, hesitant to finish his train of thought. It's like he can't even bring himself to say it.
Finally, Grim's expectant gaze forces the words to tumble out of his mouth anyway.
“I was wondering if maybe… I did die.”
The silence is so loud Auden doesn't even dare to look up, afraid that all he would find is a pitying, mocking grin. His guess at the Reaper's expression is not far off.
“Are you asking me?” — Grim asks belatedly. The fanged smile is clear enough in his voice.
“...Nothing really felt real since then,” — Auden finishes vaguely, weakly, eyes stuck to his own shaky hands clasped around each other in his lap. He feels silly, now. Saying it all aloud made it sound like it's either the most obvious or the most stupid assumption in the world. He can't tell which one it is from the Reaper's mood, but shame sears his cheeks nevertheless.
It takes another moment of cruel silence before he is granted a curious reply; — “Where do you suppose you are right now?”
Auden curls up a little more. — “Somewhere between alive and dead.”
Oh, the poor thing is lost, in more ways than just one.
Grim thinks for a minute, leaning his temple onto his fist. The angel's reality has been all but turned upside down, and now his mind is fracturing. Perhaps the shards could be built into something vastly different. His Lord does find moulding minds especially enjoyable, though such a process can be unfathomably delicate. Still, for now, the safest way forward may just be care and patience. The angel is confused enough as it is, and while hilarious, he doesn't want his lamb losing all touch with reality before meeting his new master. He will have a difficult enough time keeping track of what is real under his care anyway.
“Where do angels go when they die?” — he inquires instead, half interested in Auden's answer himself.
“They don't…”
Grim rolls his eyes. Of course. — “Where do Fallen go?”
“To Hell,” — Auden answers promptly, but then thinks further, and finds the answer insufficient. He doesn't really know what happens to Fallen Angels besides ‘eternal damnation’, since that is just a sentence, not reality. He just never thought to think further than that. Because Fallen can die. They do die, swiftly, once they reach here, once demons find them and tear them apart. — “But, but when they die… I am not sure.”
“Would you like to know?” — the Reaper asks with an easy smile.
Auden lifts his head, a little surprised to be offered to be let in on such secrets of life and death. Asking questions rarely lead to straight answers back up in his Heaven. Most of the time, he was met with disdainful expressions and waved off, told that these kinds of matters should not interest him, or, more humiliatingly, that he should already know the answer. Embarrassed, he learned not to ask questions, and only now is he starting to realise how much of his present knowledge is made up of his own assumptions.
To think he would be learning of death from Death himself — and for his silly question to be met with an unexpectedly straightforward desire to answer; no mocking, nor judgement, nor annoyance…
A small glimmer returns to his eyes as he looks to the deity intently. — “Yes please,” — he whispers, amazed, a little reverent.
The Reaper lifts a claw and beckons Auden over. The angel slides off the mattress and begins walking over obediently, only to stop in his tracks all of a sudden, hesitating.
“W-Wait, no, no I don't,” — he stutters, waving his hands out in front of him, seemingly swiftly having changed his mind. — “You don't have to, to show — I'll, I'm sorry…”
Grim is confused for a moment, not understanding the sudden reluctance, his outstretched hand sinking ever so slightly. Then, he chuckles, light as a cloud. He waves his hand dismissively. — “Oh, no, not like that. That did sound somewhat threatening, I will admit. No need to fear; you are a smart boy, you do not need such demonstration.”
Being beckoned to come closer by the Reaper after inquiring about what happens to Fallen when they die — Grim can't exactly fault the angel for hesitating. Nevertheless, with a small bit more encouragement, the nervous dove sulks up to him cautiously in the end, keeping his hands close in front of him.
“Choose one,” — the Reaper says, motioning to the jade porcelain vase filled to the brim with fresh roses set in the middle of the table. Auden saw so many bouquets arranged in large pots lining the hall as he was looking for a way out. He wonders just how much work it takes to keep every one of them filled and replenished in such a massive mansion.
Once he has made his choice — sliding free the flower that least upsets the balance of the rest as he takes it out — he looks to the Reaper. The Reaper picks one for himself and lifts it to his nose.
“When angels die, their souls float towards Heaven.” — He flips the rose downwards, letting it flop on the table. — “When demons die, their souls remain stuck here. And when Fallen die — ”
The radiant red petals are suddenly wilting, growing limp and dark, then dry and ugly in the Reaper's hand. Auden watches the healthy, beautiful flower rot, and then finally completely erode into black ashes, floating in the air like smoke after a wildfire, leaving nothing behind. Some sort of twisted awe leaves his mouth open and raises the hairs on the back of his neck in seeing the effects of Death's touch. Obliteration, destruction, extinction — with just a single touch…
He held that same hand from Miss Thu’lin’s palace all the way here.
“When Fallen die,” — Grim repeats as he rubs the pads of his fingers together to rid them of the flower's remains, — “their souls have nowhere left to go, so they disperse, just like that. Like a warm breath on a cold winter night.”
Auden clutches his own rose close to his chest, far, far from those deadly talons of shadow. — “Do they just… cease to exist? Permanently?”
The angel's wide eyes bring fondness to the Reaper's smile. He asks, instead of answering; — “do you think you exist?”
“...I don't know,” — Auden admits, a hushed whisper.
The fondness remains as he puts his hand out, scaring a flinch out of the angel. Auden goes to carefully place his rose into Death's hand, but he takes hold of Auden's wrist before he could, plucking it from him and returning it to the vase. He holds his hand gently, but firmly, feeling resistance. It's hard to tell the difference between his silver jewellery and icy skin.
“You are alive, my dear,” — assures Grim, making sure Auden hears him, looking directly into his eyes, — “you are here with me, and that should be all the evidence you need that you still exist as, if you didn't, I could never find you again.”
The young angel's lips quiver, his eyes growing misty, but he listens, and tries in earnest to believe those words. His eyes flicker down as the Reaper's thumb runs across the back of his hand. Back and forth, slow and gentle. Auden's face never crumbles fully, his tears silent as they flow.
Death's frigid kiss presses onto his knuckles like a curse, and the angel forgets to pull away.
<3
Masterlist | Ko-fi
Taglist: @whumpsday @whump-me-all-night-long @whumpifi @sordayciega @a-miscellaneous-number-of-rats
Taglist (tagged in everything I write): @morning-star-whump @whumprince @a-living-canvas
#whump#my writing#whump writing#creepy whumper#intimate whumper#fear#tw: derealization#tw: dissociation#the angel boy is very sad how unfortunate :(#angel whumpee#religious themes#power dynamics#god whumper#carewhumper#just a small little auden moment before the next chapter#if anyone wishes to give him a hug or perhaps a little gift#my asks are open#i will give them to him :) <- nefarious#i cannot believe its taking me this long to get to the actual meat of the story#were 12 chapters in and auden still hasnt even met his master#what are we doing#what specifically am i doing#.........#oc grim#oc auden
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To be honest I am a huge Nalu shipper. But the thing is I want to know the difference between the way Natsu cares about his guildmates and Lucy. Like what is the obvious difference since that boy sees every as Nakama so how can we say that the wag he cares about Lucy is different?
Like even when Erza passed away? (All the way back in first season there was a segment where the guild was gathered at her grave and all) Natsu was still very reactive. Plus he was also said to be depressed even when Lisanna passed.
What's the difference between all of them and Lucy?
the fact that he stayed. the fact that before he met Lucy, Natsu wasn't one to stay in a group or even want to work with anyone besides Happy at the start of the story. hell, he was ready to just file Lucy down as "New Guildmate" once they reached Fairy Tail
but then, Lucy doesn't leave. she follows him on his mission to save Macao despite her not needing to or even really understanding everything about it. she stays and then fights with him and saves him. it's no secret that Natsu is strong and can take care of himself really well. he's been going on solo missions for years now, and no one has really stopped him, but that means he's been in a lot of sticky situations where he and Happy are on their own and have no backup. and yet, without asking, Lucy offers it

and i think this is the moment when Natsu considers that maybe it's okay to have someone there to have his back (sans Happy)


"but Natsu only needed Lucy for the next quest because of the requirements," well, Natsu also wouldn't have taken or even considered that quest if it weren't for Lucy, yeah? he was not a team player (in the picking job's sense) or really wanted other people to help him on his quests sans Happy. and then he goes and picks a job that caters to their team whilst ensuring that Lucy can't say no

or maybe i'm reading too much into it 🤷🏻♀️
or maybe Natsu's got horrible abandonment issues that he will latch onto people so fast (Igneel & Lisanna) but also cause him to distance himself so far when left behind (his 1st time at the guild, Lisanna's death). Erza and Gray are Natsu's closest friends after Lisanna and yet they cannot reach him when he closes himself off. and then we have Lucy, who stuck by and had his back, so who is to say Natsu didn't make some contingencies to ensure whether or not she'd join him?
but maybe it's the rose, colored ship glasses i have on
because yeah, Natsu cares for all of his guildmates. the power of friendship is his biggest motivator. when we meet Natsu, our first introductions of him is defending his guild's reputation from Bora (who was using it as a guise for human trafficking) and saving Macao. and our 1st big arc (Galuna Island), where Natsu adamantly refuses to allow Gray to use Ice Shell and sacrifice himself despite how antagonistic they've been to each other. we get Natsu 100% at Erza's defense throughout the Tower of Heaven and he is even ready to defend Wendy though they only met hours ago
Natsu is a character with a bleeding heart and cannot help but wear it on his sleeve, but we don't really see him allow others to fight his battles or have his back until Lucy comes in. to be honest, i don't even think he had his heart on his sleeve until Lucy. he still has a bleeding heart (i don't think anything could stop that), but he was not ready to be open in receiving company because he was so used to it being ripped away from him
that being said: of all the characters he interacts with, he finds Lucy to be someone compatible enough for him to start going on team missions and inviting her on them (for example, his 1st S-class mission, which he stole, he went to her house to show it to her. the fact that part of the reward was a celestial key might be a coincidence, but i wouldn't doubt it as Natsu and Happy's trump card in case she refused)
but yeah, the difference is that he stayed and didn't push her away at the beginning, but instead continued to invite her along with him to the point that doing a mission without Lucy wasn't his regular anymore. compared to the rest of the guild, of whom he spent most of his childhood with, even if he spoke to no one, they would still be around and talk to him anyway. he might not invite them on job and only challenge them to fights, but the guild is his home and a constant in his life, a constant he needs (bc heavy abandonment issues).
"okay, but he still pushed her away after he watched Igneel die right in front of him. and he left the guild for a whole year, too. so what's the difference there?" you may ask.
so 1) Natsu never thought the guild would disband. he returns to Fiore after a year and is the last to know that they disbanded. he assumed, like all the other times before and while he and others were sealed for 7 years, that Fairy Tail would still be there when he returned. he assumed that his disappearance would not impact so hard because the guild would still be around and Lucy would have the others with her
which, did not happen :)
and like, so many guild members go off on jobs, quests, or even just leave for an indiscriminate amount of time (which i, personally, believe was his rationality for leaving), so him being gone for a year was nothing! right? no harm, eh? his plan was never to be gone forever :))))
2) he just watched his father die and lost any chance of having some semblance of a long term reunion with Igneel. he literally lost one of his main driving motivations for getting stronger and taking jobs. before Fairy Tail, before anyone, it was Igneel. and to learn that a) Igneel was always with him to begin with and b) he only got to see him for less than a day after 14 years of nothing......i would feel lost too ngl
man's needed space from everybody. and he also needed comfort, but Natsu has been shown not to really be the character who asks to receive comfort (and when he does receive it, it's usually when he's already emotionally compromised). he is in the habit of shutting people out after being abandoned or losing someone close to him, with his next rationale being to "get stronger" in order to prevent what happened in the past to ever happen in the future.
anyway
what makes this different? well for one, he sent the letter only to Lucy (or it's implied since no one else is shown getting one) because of how the two spend most of their time together. even the line that goes with the panel makes it sound like Natsu is unsure on how the note will be received (maybe even hesitant? but that could be my own hopes)

and one of the 1st people he reunites with after a year is Lucy and we get such a similar parallel to the first chapter of Fairy Tail between the two as if the narrative itself is slotting them together to say "ah yes, now everything is back to normal and new journeys can begin"
but yeah, this is just a long way of saying, that Natsu does love his friends and guildmates but even when he is close to them, he kept to himself (and Happy) and sort of stayed in their orbit but always with some emotional distance because of his fear of abandonment. and then you have Lucy where he will stay for and allow her to orbit around him and he will invite to new adventures no questions asked
that's the difference
#this is 100% unrelated but reading the older chapters had me realize how Cana's hair is a lot curlier than in the anime#my girlie's waves got straightened T^T and they were so gorgeous too#also love the translator's notes at the end of each volume <3#fill me with so much joy and why they chose to go in what direction for each translation#this post is longer than i thought oops#like i was gonna leave it at 'bc Natsu stayed for her' and then be done#but no i can't just leave it there and not back it up#also me saying Natsu stayed for Lucy is not me trying to undermine his other relationships in the guild#Natsu's bonds with Fairy Tail are the very core of this story so to say that he loved any of his guildmates less would not be right#his love for Lucy is different#it started the same but shifted as the arcs progressed#his priorities with her are different than they are with his friends and guildmates despite being on a fairly even level#fun fact! i started writing this 6 hours ago. had class. got distracted w/ old ft plot while searching for manga panels. and now we're here#btw: this is not excusing Natsu's act of leaving without so much of a warning. this is just explaining his personal rationale and emotions.#ofc Lucy was right to feel upset and betrayed for being left behind by Natsu and then to be alone bc the guild disbanded. i would too!#but we aren't talking about that. we're talking about what makes Natsu's feelings for Lucy different from the rest of the guild#also sorry i got a little lazy with the manga panels after the first couple T^T and mayhaps distracted (rereading Igneel's death is sO fun!#fairy tail#natsu dragneel#nalu#fairy tail nalu#ft meta#also like how natsu loves is very open and through action#no matter whether its familial or platonic or romantic#how he shows it is the same fierce protectiveness and attentiveness#personally i see natsu's love being in equal fervor for all. none really trump over the other. they're just different
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askbox question because i've never thrown like, a 'request/idea' offering sorta post out there:
what do you want to see in tough and sweet? like, specific dates you'd like to see the boys go on, certain tropes covered, different kinks/nsfw scenes, scenarios and convos tackled, idk literally anything!
i'm curious because i used to brainrot about it lots here before i started actually writing it but then i stopped so i wouldn't spoil things, and while i'm ofc writing what i love and want to write, it's fun to know what readers wanna read, and to try to incorporate those things where i can. :-) but also my list of scenes to include is So Long i feel like so many ideas will already be in my drafting doc LOL <3
i have the whole fic plotted out, but lots of room for little things in between the bigger plot points, so! no promises obvi, but i'd love to hear your thoughts. the main one i get asked for in comments/asks is about writing a gale pov oneshot, which i'm most definitely doing– sooner than you think. >:) lmkkk, anon is fine!! if i don't reply, i promise i read it, i just have 100+ asks rn and too much to do irl but i appreciate each one soso much :'))
#tough and sweet fic#genuinely have been crying over the kind asks about TAS these past two months. my heart is so so full i'm so thankful#i hope i'll have a day to just sit and reply to them all soon bc i feel so bad just letting them sit there </33#i read them almost every day tho i'm so srs. i can't even express how much i cherish anyone taking the time to write such kind things <33#still hiding from comments on ch7 bc i have to get brave enough to open my inbox every time i post a new chapter SHJGDK <3
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In my opinion, the reason the reunion scene was skipped was because the author couldn’t figure out a way to write it non-romantically and gave up after a while
honestly. i kinda agree with you nonnie.
it just. the set up to the scene is sooooo romantic. you have lloyd being absolutely devastated at the thought he's not going to see any of his loved ones ever again and that he's been dropped back into his terrible life, to the place he admitted he'd rather die than go back to,,, and then someone knocks at the door and when he opens it this is the sight that greets him:

his best friend, the person he's closest to, the one he's spent years with, the one he promised a peaceful life at his side, the one he wanted to grow old with, the one he sacrificed everything for, the one he effectively gave his life to save, the one he thought he'd never see again, standing at his door, having crossed literal dimensional barriers to get to him, a soft and teary smile on his face as he tells him "i missed you"
like. c'mon.
i'm all for platonic interpretations, i'm aroace, i love me a good best friendship as much as the next guy, but,,,, isn't this,,, like,,, really fucking romantic??? extremely so??? am i??? reading too much into it?? because it feels really, really romantic to me.
and like you say. where do you go from there. what response could lloyd give that doesn't involve throwing himself at javier and clinging to him with all of his strength. what conversation could these two have that doesn't involve them seeing how truly devoted they are to each other. what resolution does their arc together have that isn't them spending the rest of their lives together, at each other's side, like they so dearly wanted to.
but. alas. that wasn't the story bk moon wanted to tell. and that's very much his right. i just think that if he didn't want me to assume there's no in-character and narratively satisfying version of that conversation that doesn't end with them kissing he should've at least tried to give us something. and not completely skipped it lol
but that's just my opinion too :]
#hey i got an ask#Anonymous#tged#the greatest estate developer#tged spoilers#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#llojavi#ch 401#and like. god. this really was his favorite scene to write uh.#i just. i don't get it. what was going through his head. what was he thinking. what was the point of all of This.#i just need ten minutes locked in a room with him. preferably with a translator but i am willing to compromise. just gimme ten minutes.#i can make him spill the soup i know this#fuck if i think too long about how this is the. second last chapter we get. before we officially end the novel with the two of them sharing#a relieved smile at the fact they can finally live their lives together without worries. i do go a little crazy.#this would probably be a hot take if there were enough opinions about tged for it to be considered spicy in the first place. but. i don't#love the extra chapters. the one with javier making a wish to a shooting star is acceptable tho it does create more questions than answers.#but the others are. meh. i would've much preferred if tged had ended in ch 401 with an open ending. maybe ch 402 if only because i did want#to see lloyd interact with arcos and marbella as suho. but there would be no last minute shoehorned wedding in my ideal ending.#i just!! i don't like forced romance!!!! i don't like compulsory amato/heteronormativity!!!!!!#i want my fictional relationships to have proper build up and chemistry and to be narratively satisfying!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!#i'm good. i'm okay. this is fine. we're all fine.#anyway. yeah
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Is this a safe space to say I liked the bnha epilogue and didn't see anything wrong with it? 🧍🏻♂️it was just a fun little bonus chapter I honestly don't know why people are upset about it
Anyway I love Shouto and I hope he enjoys his bowl and chopstick making classes
#i don't care about ships at all so i don't care what's canon and what's not#i'm very neutral towards izuchaco but then having a crush on each other has been a thing since the beginning#so the status quo didn't change#and some are saying that izuku rejecting bakugo's offer to join his agency is ooc#but i don't think it is at all#izuku's goal was to be a hero and he reached it#also he's literally 25 years old now why would he still want to compete with bakugo for the rest of his life#it was always bakugo whonwas obsessed with competing with him#they still get to work together as heroes which is so special#and izuku found fulfillment as a hero and teacher#i think it's beautiful#my biggest complaint about the ending of mha is how the villains were handled but that has nothing to do with this chapter#it was literally just a fun lighthearted bonus chapter of them all as adults it's mot that serious#idk maybe it's a big deal for people that care about ships but i just do not#and while i would have rathered there be no indications of any relationships#i think the way izuku and ochaco was handled was pretty chill#it just ended with them agreeing that they'd like to talk to get closer and do something for themselves for once#while i won't deny that it was def supposed to be romantic#it leaves it very open ended that if you don't like them together you can just easily headcanon that they try it out then amicably break up#after realizing that they don't work#and you can always headcanon that izuku eventually joins bakugo's agency or whatever#it was a very flexible ending and you can write whatever fanfiction you want with it#at least it didn't end with them married with kids which i would actually really dislike#bnha#my posts#bnha spoilers
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Day 47 of being positively shook at the bit of info revealed at the end of HZ092.
#yes it's about amethio's current narrative direction (again)#truly a testament of impeccable writing that there is so much to say about such a short scene bc the themes are conveyed so effectively#lead writer dai sato. i know what you were going for..#honestly i'm just pleasantly surprised again and again that they really went there and made such a bold narrative choice#and straight up said he died#took me off guard as a viewer because it wasn't something i expected at all or even imagined in the first place before mega voltage aired#but absolutely makes sense in retrospect because. yeah of course that's what they'd go for in such a situation after the rakua events#much better than any alternative i could have thought about#it's both bittersweet and satisfying.#really love that amethio's arc is a constant test of his will and his resilience and beliefs#facing obstacles. being humbled. being banished. etc#even better this time because he reaffirmed his bonds with the people closest to him in chapter 4#and found his own path and got told to follow his beliefs by gibeon#you could expect him to get even closer to the others esp after everything that happened#(opening up to zir and conia about his past and teaming up with liko and the others)#but no <3 isolating him from others (presumably) as a test of the strength of his bonds and beliefs. and it's peak!#i assume he might be alone now (just with his pkmn) so he truly is going through his own kind of independence..#just like liko and co.. who are currently traveling by themselves without adult supervision.. It Is The (Almost) Same Arc#amethio being isolated after getting acceptance so his resilience can be tested and so we can see how far he'll go. peak cinema etc#it's such a compelling arc i'm kinda losing it tbh. taking one thing and then giving him another.. letting him grow from his experiences#need to know if he'll show up with zygarde or something#hz092#character notes#episode notes
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War is over…

#ROFS#yes… I finished…. I finally finished drafting the entirety of this fic…#wow… I physically felt like a weight on my shoulders finally lifted off of me#this series is 36 CHAPTERS LONG#[and knowing me— it’ll probably be longer because of how much I freaking write]#but 36 chapters….. wow… I really enjoyed rough drafting this because it’s (personally) a really interesting concept#and we need more style and bunny fics that are some good old classic paranormal horror stories that isn’t dd:dne or wtv#just some good old spooky and mystery#Eric is there too#there is also a side of candy (if you squint) and background creek#this story has by far my favorite opening hook!!!!!#love that part where Cartman says: ‘you know for a dead girl- you’re such an annoying bitch!’#also love that silly little part where Kenny says: ‘be mine the same way I want to be yours.’#wow…. ROFS <3333#bruh im acting like the series was already published and ended LMAO#it technically ended in my head with all these drafts!#THIRTY SIX CHAPTERS#!!!!!!!#[still in shock]#can’t wait to publish the first chapter for real!
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E&T: Caught in the Clutches of Lust
No im not sorry for any of this. cope and seethe
Btw I used a line from @painsandconfusion and @wormwriting's degradation starter list that I saved THREE YEARS AGO for this very moment. I am always playing the long game (⊙ˍ⊙)
←Previous - Masterlist
Ingredients: VERY creepy/intimate whumper, implied threat of noncon, a lot of noncon touching (unsexy but right on the edge), implied noncon kiss, unsexy nudity
Shiori?
No, it couldn’t be, she was a world away, she was human, he’d left her waiting by the fountain after the party and she’d moved on and forgotten about him, no reason to follow him here, into the depths of hell, looking exactly like she had the night of the party, jarringly out of place in her pretty dress, smiling at him like he wasn’t a blood-covered, unrecognizable version of himself.
And then he blinked, and all of a sudden it wasn’t Shiori at all, but Lythia, wearing the same yellow bandana that she always did while she was working in the palace gardens, the little black braids of her hair just as beautiful as he remembered. There was no pity in her dark eyes, like there had been the last time he saw her, looking up at him from the crowd while he was chained to that pillar, promising he’d be rescued after it was already too late. Actually seeing her hurt, and Erebus looked away for a moment, just a moment…
When he saw the woman in front of him now, his jaw dropped, eyes widening, his tense, burning hands finally relaxing.
“Come on, let’s get you somewhere safe.”
Her voice was just as he remembered, and she was smiling at him so kindly, her eyes soft, her gloved hand outstretched, she was here to save him, she’d found a way to bring him back, he was too tired and scared and stressed to do anything else besides surrender control to her once again, to take her small hand and follow her blindly towards the fate she’d chosen for him. She was squeezing his still-healing hand tightly in hers, but she could do whatever she wanted with him just as long as she got him out of this place.
“Well, that was easy.”
The voice wasn’t Shiori’s, or Lythia’s, and it certainly wasn’t Neteri’s.
Erebus jumped back, finally seeing the person next to him clearly for the first time. She-they?-smirked at him, bright purple eyes sparkling. Their white hair was long and wavy, partially braided back with impeccable precision. Gold jewelry and a low-cut black dress accentuated their natural beauty, seeming very out of place in this hellish world. Most striking of all, though, was their bright red skin, a shade that was very familiar to Erebus.
This was a lust demon, and she’d lead him right into her lair.
“You-how did-I-”
They laughed, deep and bright, obviously amused by his shock and confusion. “You only saw what your heart wanted you to see, darling. It’s not my fault you turned into a meek little lamb and followed me here.”
Erebus’s face grew hot. “Well I-I…” his wings sank behind him. He’d thought he was about to be saved. Like an idiot. She’d led him away from the bubbling pools and acrid air into a sort of cave, a furnished one at that. But now he was cornered in here, at a disadvantage in the cramped space. He swallowed and changed the topic, hand resting on the pommel of his sword. “Who are you and what do you want with me?”
“Apologies.” She bowed slightly, the sort of bow people gave when they were pretending to show respect during negotiations, but then declared war a few weeks later. “My name is Asmodeum, and really,” they gave him a disapproving look, “I’d rather not fight with you. I heard you’ve defeated Somiaken and Vorath already, but I believe you and I could work something out without coming to blows.” They held their hands up briefly, but the way they watched him made it clear that their guard was still up. “So, tell me your name, now. Unless you’d prefer I just call you darling?”
Erebus very much did not want that, so he complied. “Erebus. But you didn’t really answer my question. What do you want, if not to fight me?”
Asmodeum sighed wistfully. “Well, I can tell that you’re the sort of person who’ll never agree to what I really want, but I believe something can be arranged. You see, I’ve been stuck here for Akumo knows how long with no toys to play with. So, I was thinking-”
“I-I’m not gonna be your toy,” Erebus choked, his throat feeling like it was closing up.
“Ah, ah, ah.” Asmodeum wagged a finger. “Let me finish, dear. I could have my way with you quite easily, you know. It would be oh so effortless to drag you back into my domain proper and throw you into a pool of boiling water or lava and watch the show. However, I think your forced cooperation would make this a little more fun, and it would be nice if you behaved for me. So, if you let me do what I want with you, barring the most intimate acts, I’ll let you kill me once I’ve had my fill.”
“What happens if I don’t say yes?”
Asmodeum casually examined their nails. “I will take you by force and I will defile you.”
“D-defile?! You don’t mean…” Erebus quickly glanced down, and Asmodeum smiled wickedly.
“Oh, I do mean. If you let me play with you, I swear I won’t do anything of the sort. Call it an incentive. So come on, Erebus, get rid of your sword.” Erebus just tightened his grip on it, weighing his options. As much as he didn’t want to let this demon…play with him...did he really have any other options? He was exhausted, and there wasn’t much room in here for him to try and put up a proper fight. And more than anything, he really, really didn’t want to risk being...Despite the anxiety building in his chest, Erebus unbuckled the sword belt around his waist, setting it carefully on the ground.
“Fine. But if you so much as touch me there I’ll-I’ll make you regret it.” How would he do that? He wasn’t sure. But he just-he had to make it clear that he wasn’t surrendering. He was just…agreeing to play along. Just to get a break from fighting. He was okay with this. He’d be fine. He'd been through so much worse.
He'd be fine.
“I promise I won’t cross that boundary, don’t you fret.” Asmodeum walked over to him, kicking his sword out of reach as they took his hand. “First things first, you’re absolutely filthy. Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?”
Erebus pulled his hand out of her grasp. “I mean, I-I can do that myself,” he muttered. Asmodeum raised an eyebrow.
“I’m sure you can, but I want to wash you, dear. And right now,” she grabbed his hand once more, “I get what I want.” They pulled him along into a bathroom, and he followed reluctantly, feeling an odd sense of familiarity in just going along with this sort of thing. Their threat was certainly a motivator, but that didn’t mean he was going to roll over completely on every little thing, right? He had to make it clear that he wasn’t happy with this, despite agreeing to it. She started filling up the bathtub with water, turning to him with a smile. “Let me strip you now.”
“I-I’d rather-”
“Shhhh.” She placed a finger on his lips, her other hand starting to undo the ties on his shirt. “None of that, dear. I can’t get you all clean if you’re wearing these dirty clothes, now can I?” He looked away as they tugged his shirt off, hoping that they’d-nope, now they were going to try and take off his pants, too.
“You said you weren’t going to-to do that to me.”
“I won’t. But that doesn’t mean you get to keep your clothes on the whole time, you shy little thing. I just won’t touch.” Erebus stifled a whine as she pulled down his pants, and his underwear along with them. “There we go. You can get in now.” He did so, almost jumping into the warm water and crouching down, hugging his knees close and spreading his wings around himself protectively. They gently pushed his wings back, stroking his face as he glared at them with wide eyes. “There’s no use hiding when I’ve already seen everything, silly. I think I’m going to need to get these arms out of the way, hmmm?” They pulled out a pair of manacles, and Erebus’s stomach sank.
“Wait, I won’t resist just-just don’t-”
“Too late for that, Erebus.” She clamped them around his wrists, twisting the chain securely around the faucet. “Besides, you look absolutely darling like that, all helpless. Now, keep those wings out of the way or I’ll pierce them together.” Erebus’s wings sank in defeat, slowly moving back until they were behind him. There wasn’t any winning here, was there? “Good boy.” She grabbed a cup from the countertop and started using it to pour water on him, rinsing away some of the pieces of flesh stuck to his bloodied skin. After she lathered a washcloth with soap, she began to gently clean the dried blood off his face. He screwed his eyes shut, fists clenched as he tried to think about anything else.
Even back when he was a prince, he’d hated being fussed over, preferring to take care of himself when he could. Asmodeum, however, seemed to have no concept of personal space, or just didn’t care. She had to work hard to get through the blood caked over most of his skin, leaning in close, starting with his face before switching to his hair. Their hands slid in, tenderly working through tangled bloody mats and massaging his scalp. He hated how nice it felt, how much it reminded him of the way Lythia always used to play with his hair, forcing himself to open his eyes and look at Asmodeum, to remind himself who was…
Lythia smiled at him sweetly, and Erebus felt his blood run cold. That wasn’t her, no matter what he saw, no matter how he felt. She wasn’t here. She was back home, probably still tending the palace gardens despite the change in management. Did she still think of him as she looked at all the places they used to laugh? Or could she not get the image of him screaming and sobbing up on that podium out of her mind, unable to remember any other version of him than the one he’d left her with? Maybe that’s what he deserved to be remembered as, since he’d hardly thought of her since that day, the memories too painful.
Erebus shuddered when Asmodeum moved to his horns, which were always far more sensitive than they had any right to be. She seemed to be able to tell, continuing to stroke them long after they were clean, and as much as he wanted to ask them to stop, he was afraid it would only encourage them. At the very least, the disconnect between Lythia and his horns was enough to push the thoughts of her out of his mind, and Asmodeum changed back to their normal form.
Her hands finally slid lower, caressing his neck, fingers slipping under his collar, making sure the skin underneath was clean, pressing down against his throat every so often as they did so. It wasn't enough to really choke him, but the message was clear.
They moved onto his shoulders, his wings, his arms, his back. He caught their smile as they saw what his right arm really looked like, and her fingers traced his whip scars as they were uncovered. Dread started to pool in his stomach as she moved to his chest, scrubbing away, revealing-
“Oh, well isn’t this pretty.” They marveled at his brand, stroking the lines of the scar, pausing over his rapidly-beathing heart. “Too bad you’re already owned by someone else, huh? But I suppose they’re not here now, are they?” Erebus just bit his lip, refusing to make eye contact. The thought of his…of Neteri not being here hurt, and, try as he might, he couldn’t help but think of her, of the way she’d always protected him. He wondered how angry she’d get if she saw what was happening to him, or if she could feel now that someone besides her was touching him. He could imagine her bursting in, yelling at Asmodeum to get their hands off of him, unchaining him and letting him cover up before pulling him into a hug-wait wait what was he thinking she’d been his captor she’d hurt him and ripped him into pieces and kept him locked up but she'd promised to save him and he missed her.
“What’s wrong, darling? Is even this too much for you?” Asmodeum brushed away a tear he didn’t realize had been falling with her finger, her skin no longer red, but brown. He couldn't look her in the eye. Not while she wore that face. “Such a sensitive little thing.” Hearing those words in that voice was already bad enough. Erebus tugged at his chains, wishing he could rub away those stupid traitorous tears, because he wasn’t crying about Neteri or Asmodeum or any of this.
Their hands plunged beneath the surface of the blood-clouded water now, and Erebus couldn't stop himself from tensing up as they scrubbed his stomach, glad the parts of him that were previously under clothes weren't as caked in blood as those that weren't. Still, there was enough to clean that she had an excuse for her hands to wander lower still, caressing his hips, his thighs, and now he was trembling, fists clenched, tears dripping even more steadily into the tepid, cloudy water, no one had ever touched him there, at least she was wearing her own face now, but please, please stay away from there, you said you wouldn't touch me there and if you do then why am I here why am I letting you do this why do I keep letting people hurt me if I just stood up for myself more if I wasn't such a coward maybe I'd still be-
"You're rather pathetic, aren't you?" Asmodeum mused as they cradled his face, turning him towards them. Erebus blinked away tears, just now realizing that they'd finished cleaning him, the tub already drained. He couldn't exactly argue, crying and shivering like he was, so he just swallowed and gave the tiniest nod as he pulled himself together, hoping it'd be enough to get them to move on.
With a satisfied smile, she unhooked his wrists from the faucet, but left the manacles on as she pulled him up and out of the tub. He tried to cover himself as best he could as they toweled him off, hoping they’d stop touching him or at least give him clothes soon. Thankfully, they did, handing him a small bundle, and upon unrolling it he found...a pair of shorts that barely reached his knees, and that was all. Once he’d put them on, she dragged him into another room and let go, crossing her arms. “Kneel.”
“I don’t-” Asmodeum raised an eyebrow, and Erebus stopped himself. They were expecting him to obey their every little whim if he didn’t want to be...he knelt, staring at the floor. She circled him a few times, and he clenched his fists in his lap, hating how much of his body was on display. Not that she hadn’t already seen everything.
“You were just made to kneel, weren't you? Absolutely gorgeous." Erebus's face burned even hotter than before. All he could hope was that they'd be done with him soon, but he'd never specified how long this would go on for when he agreed to it, so this might last…He was such an idiot, why did he just go along with this without any negotiation?
Asmodeum stopped in front of him. "Well, what are you in the mood for, dear? Pain,” her hand slid under his chin, tilting it up, “or pleasure?”
“Please just-anything but-” he choked, and she just laughed.
“Anything, you say? Then, I think...I'm in the mood for this.” They grabbed his collar, yanking him up onto the nearby bed. Before he could even try to sit up they were on him, wrapping themselves around him, worming in between his shackled arms, forcing him to embrace her back. A shudder ran down his spine as her skin came into contact with his, her arms pinning him flush against her body, her legs tangling around his. “Have you ever been this close to someone, darling?” she whispered in his ear, their fingers stroking his hair.
“I-I, um, a few times but-”
“Aw, and you’re still nervous.” Her hand ran down the back of his head, stopping at his collar. “It’s so cute how you still wear this. I’m sure you could get it off if you tried, so you must like having it on, huh? Do you miss your owner?”
“She’s not-I don’t-I just-it’s…” he screwed his eyes shut, “I can’t take it off, alright?!”
“Such a dutiful little pet-”
“I wasn’t h-her pet!”
“You’re so adorable when you’re in denial.” They stroked his back, rubbing around the base of his wings. Erebus just opted for staring at the wall, hoping they wouldn't touch his horns. “Do you know how lust demons feed, my dear?”
“By eating…?”
“Well, of course, but not the same way you do. We feed off of humans, more specifically, their bodily fluids.” She smiled widely, showing off her fangs. “And I haven’t had a meal ever since being locked up in here. I normally get my fix a different way, but, to be considerate of you, innocent little boy,” they shifted until their lips were right next to the base of his neck, fingers pushing his collar out of the way, “I’ll settle for feasting on your blood.”
Her fangs sank into his neck, and he couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden pain. He tried to breathe in calmly through gritted teeth as she sucked on the holes in his flesh, drinking his blood. Soon enough, his ears started ringing, and lightheadedness crept in. He gripped the chain between his wrists just too feel something solid, glad that he was lying down, at least. By the time Asmodeum pulled away, licking droplets of blood from their lips, a dizzy haze had settled over Erebus. He closed his eyes, tears leaking out as she snuggled back into him, just hoping that this would all be over soon. In fact, maybe he would just...let the blackness take him...just for a little bit...so he didn’t have to be...awake…
Erebus’s mouth tasted like dried blood when he woke up, and Asmodeum was still wrapped around him tightly. She smiled when their eyes met. “Did you have a good little nap, my darling? I hope you don’t mind, but,” she gripped his chin, her thumb stroking his lips, “I had a little bit of fun with you while you were out of it.” A bit of...wait is that why his mouth tasted like-
“W-you-you can’t d-do that to me I-I don’t-” his voice broke, and he couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, no matter how many fast little breaths he sucked in, just get away, get away from me stop touching me don’t do that to me please please I don’t want that you can’t do that to me you can’t you can’t I never wanted that not from you not from anyone and now now now I-I’m-I’ve been-
He felt something solid press into his hands, and he realized that Asmodeum was standing in front of him, and that was his sword in his hands, he was sitting up now and that was his sword and Asmodeum was smiling they were holding out their arms to him they were ready they were ready they were laughing they were coughing up blood they were on the ground there was so much blood how much of it was his he wasn’t sure he didn’t know they reached up and he backed away he had to get away he couldn’t stay here a second longer she was dead she was dead she was already crumbling away and he had to go he wanted to rip off his own skin he could still feel her touching him where where where were his clothes where was the key to these manacles he had to go he-
Erebus dropped his sword. He fell to his knees. He buried his face in his hands.
And he screamed.
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#i wrote something#erebus & terror#erebus#asmodeum#creepy whumper#intimate whumper#nonhuman whumpee#demon whumper#noncon kiss#noncon touch#can i get a lmao in chat this guy is having the worst time of his life maybe#yeah shiori is human and normal and i meant it when i said they'd never see each other again#bro's neteri devotion is literally getting worse now that they're apart what is he DOING#i cant believe superhell isnt the healing environment he needs to process his trauma 😔#but yeah back when i was still in college and writing like chapters 3-6 ish of E&T (like him getting branded)#i was like ''okay but the bathing scene is soooo fun and sexy i want to write it right now''#so i did and then it sat there for 3 years#it's honestly really weird that it's out in the open now it's been My Secret Writing for SO long#had to make a lot of edits though and i can see how much ive improved since then like yeah let's GUT this bitch#asmodeum fucking sucks. sorry. they are the literal fucking worst#they're also technically genderfluid but since the way they're perceived is based on the person's attraction#erebus just gets female/androgynous vibes cuz he doesn't like men 👍#uh what else oh yeah we had to give him the kissing trauma. rare instance of me projecting write it down kids#god i started the final edit of this at 4:30 and i was like ''yeah i can have it ready by 5''#it's 5:51 you idiot
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Regarding that post pointing out the superb versatility of werewolves - I am now positively HAUNTED by the concept of werewolf Arthur Morgan .
What is he running from? Being a Literal monster? Being considered a monster for his actions? The absolute buffet of trauma this man has been through? Plurality? Homosexuality? He witnessed his abusive father's death. He's alienated from society largely by circumstances and secondarily by choice. What is he so afraid of? He literally dies of a disease he caught from someone he was harassing at the behest of someone else. Is he doomed to be a tool? An instrument of violence who willingly gives up his agency to be wielded by those who perhaps cared about him once, or maybe still do, in their own way, but who ultimately cannot be held solely responsible for what happened to him as their shared world falls apart? would he roam the forests, body twisted into something it simultaneously never should have been and always was, struggling to reckon with the decisions he has made - or refused to make - under the all seeing eye of the full moon?
Anyway he's very babygirl to me and I have a need to put that man in some Fucking Situations.
#.txt#arthur morgan#rdr2#you can just pretend this isn't about that one guy from the cowboy game. if you like.#obligatory reminder that um. i haven't played rdr2 past the opening chapters.#I'm just fucking Like This about him. my characterisation is 40% wiki crawling and 60% Vibes.#but people on ao3 seem to like how i write him. so :)#anyway i also posted this to pillowfort. but i am trying to get braver about posting my writing here too.#so#...i might keep my Arthur Morgan posting to PF tho. I'm shy
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One thing about writing is you criticise it the way you criticise the books you read. If you're not careful, you see you're writing the exact things you hate reading about🫠
#like im constantly questioning the dialogues and conversations#is it cringe?#is it so obvious i dont talk with people?#does a conversation like that even happens between these two characters?#I'm struggling lmao😭#and the other thing is#english isn't my first language#i might be able to read and talk with people informally#but writing was never my strong suit💀#but ill admit i love how it turned out till now#it's 5.7k words and i still haven't finished the first chapter...#lord help me😭#oh and its half past 6 in the morning...#idk why my body woke me up this early#bitch my eyes are barely open but im awake...
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