#Humans are basically Space Orks

[drunkenskunk]

“No, but you don’t understand! The thing about evolving on a Death World is that you don’t really realize you’re doing it until you get the chance to leave. For most of human history, the presence of carnivorous monsters, venomous micropredators, extremely dangerous natural disasters like hurricanes and tornadoes, geological instability, the most lethal cocktail of microbial and viral life forms in the galaxy, and let’s not forget the crushing gravity of Earth... all of that just seemed entirely normal for us. That’s just business as usual, yeah? Hell, before we left Earth, we thought our species was rather weak, frail, and defenseless, because we only had other Earth fauna for comparison.

“So, you can imagine our surprise when, upon finally joining the greater galactic community, everyone else takes one look at human beings, and they see us as these enormous, robust, dangerous, completely insane superpredators. Not only will we eat damn near anything, we selectively bred toxic peppers to make them deliberately more poisonous, specifically to season our food. We regularly expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation for the aesthetic. Oxygen is considered one of the deadliest chemical weapons in the galaxy, and that’s what we breathe.

“And I haven’t even gotten into just how our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is ridiculous, when compared to other sapient species in the galaxy. A broken leg is a death sentence for most, causing them to slip into shock and die... but it barely slows us down. Our hyperactive scar tissue allows us to shrug off injuries that are almost universally fatal for everyone else in the galaxy. Hell, we invented surgical techniques centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support, which effectively means that what we have traditionally treated as routine medical procedures, other species would treat as highly inventive forms of murder.

“Like... I don’t want to put too fine a point on it, but we’re kinda terrifying, when you really think about it, aren’t we?”

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

[bogleech]

i dont really go to dr who or anything but i feel like your nazi/fascism allegory immediately falls through once you make whatever youre using "born like that", implying that everyone that is a nazi or everyone that is a facist was Born evil and therefore you dont have to worry about falling victim to nazi rhetoric because Youre not one of those evil bad guys and you dont have to worry about any of your friends or family being neo nazis because clearly theyre one of the good guys + you can easily tell who the bad guys are even though its. a far much more complex thing than that and youre going to run into someone that you think is a cool, chill person but it turns out theyre jsut really good at hiding their fascist beliefs.

Yeah, exactly, if a narrative wants me to think the alien invaders are actually morally despicable then they need to show me that they're capable of anything we would consider kindness or that not all of them are the same! If they hatch out of the queen slug's spores with an automatic instinct to find and eat babies then that can't really be considered any more good or evil than a cat's drive to eat birds. It's an unfortunate problem for other species but never works as an allegory for an ideological choice! One of the best subversions of this are the Orks in Warhammer 40,000, of all things. If I remember right, they were the result of an advanced species using biotechnology to create their own "warrior caste," deliberately "stupider" and driven by a lust for violence, so basically a sub-race created by eugenicists be expendable military slaves. How well that worked out for the civilization is obvious, but the setting never treats the Orks as necessarily good or evil but more of a chaotic force that has no idea what it's really doing at any given time. Conversely, the Yeerks in Animorphs were given a lot of complex, conflicting motivations that feel pretty human. I ultimately end up feeling bad for them as a whole because they're pitiful little slugs you can crush with one hand, and most of what they do is driven by a mix of fear and radical indoctrination. Their leader, however, pretty much is a space hitler who can be held completely accountable for the war as well for horrible things done to his own kind in order to enforce their obedience. And we do still get good-guy yeerks who rebel against that system!

[danvolodar]

Why the new fluff in 40k undermines the setting: part 1, what was

As a grognard, I can't help but feel the new fluff in Warhammer is not just not to my liking, but destructive for the setting as a whole.

And I don't mean the newly found racial and gender diversity in the Imperial Guard or the laughable ceaseless argument over female Space Marines and Custodes, but the very basic fluff for the factions like the Tau, newCrons, and particularly Leagues of Votann.

First, a brief note on what I'll call "good" and "bad" for a setting. The very basic requirement, of course, is for a setting to be internally consistent, to offer plot and circumstances that'd make its overall workings logical and believable at least as long as reasonable suspension of disbelief is maintained. Furthermore, most settings have core themes, and Warhammer 40k, eponymous with the ironic "grimdark" moniker, particularly so. In that regard, anything that reinforces the setting's themes is good for it, anything that undermines them (including undermining by turning up to 11, when these themes begin to undermine verisimilitude) is bad.

The core themes of "grimdark" 40k I'll be grumbling about here will be a few. The Imperium is vast, but at the same time, stagnant and technologically backwards: the Iron Men rebellion has killed AI (and thinking machines are susceptible to demonic possession, anyway), much of technology has been irrevocably lost, and the vestiges are eagerly guarded by the technoreligious Mechanicus cult. The Imperium's situation is ever precarious, because it has neither reliable logistics (instead forced to fly kilometers-long cathedrals through literal Hell using the light of a psychic crematorium for guidance, ever at the risk of arriving a century too late or too early, or not arriving at all), nor even reliable communications.

FFG's Dark Heresy has a lot of great insight in its GMing sections, so I'll be using some for quotes. Here's what they have to say on interstellar communications in the Imperium:

So as you can see, no matter how competent, the rulers of the Imperium simply have no means to govern it well, given their inability to gather reliable information on its current state, or reliably react to achieve predictable results.

The Imperium is surrounded by enemies on all sides: the Enemy Without, xenos civilisations bent on superiority and wiping the Humanity whole; the Enemy Within, secessionists and heretics, looking to undermine the unified government, thus allowing the other threats to defeat the Humanity in detail; and the Enemy Beyond, demons and other Warp entities ever looking for a single psyker unaccounted for by the Inquisition to enter realspace and turn it into hellscape to their liking. Thus, the Imperium has existed in the state of total war for thousands of years, with the most oppressive measures taken out of necessity to prevent utter collapse, and constant heroic sacrifice inevitably required to preserve even what rotting corpse of the great empire that still persists.

Again, a couple quotes on how the writers at FFG see it:

At the same time, as it used to be in oldhammer, the Imperium is peerless. There are no other civilisations in the Galaxy that'd develop and grow the way Humanity goes: the Eldar are dying out in their hideouts, the Orks are an unthinking menace that constructs spaceships from scrap, the soulless Necrons are ever on the cusp of awakening and sterilising the Galaxy, the forces of Chaos seek only to destroy.

Of course, gradually, with new editions released and GW seeking to sell more minis, that all changed. And the way I see, each new major release has been undermining the core themes of the setting. There have been issues both great and small. So as not to make this post ridiculously long, I'll cut here, and explore them in detail in the next post.

[nicki0kaye]

basically after my dad's passing, I could not pick up anything I had started prior to losing him. Thankfully, I've had this lil project percolating in the back of my mind for years now. Because this kept me going through a family tragedy, I humbly request if you see this and hate it, please just keep scrolling. I'm going through a lot.

I'll do a full write up sometime, but basically my goal was to get at least one of every type of playable race in 40k onto one ship, living harmoniously and being queer as fuck. From left to right we have; Fighter-caste alien who wants to punch and kiss everyone, pilot-caste alien who is mom and tired, space-elf who is your auntie and does community theatre (murderously), pilot-caste alien first time father who has adopted all the orks, human imperial inquisitor secretly married to space-elf and is therefore your uncle, and in the back, an ex-Space Marine super soldier who has realized She is Girl

We are missing the two space deamons who kidnapped--I mean helped the space marine realize she is Girl, the horde of tiny orks who's imagination literally keeps the ship from imploding, the big ork who loves to cook, the adopted skelerobot who thinks its an ork, the giant murder machine grandpa who is very proud of you and is almost done knitting you a scarf, and the lovingly hand-raised fuckbeast named Baby

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[paragonrobits]

i've seen some joking takes on the possibility of Hunter the Parenting being some kind of stealth prequel to Warhammer 40k and at the risk of sounding a bit like a killjoy (but I'm an old WoD fan, its sort of expected probably), I have to say that if you're actually serious about that, I have to say that if you go to the mental brain-break of trying to combine the respective and almost completely incompatible metaphysics/cosmology of all the different WoD gameline, the circumstances of Warhammer 40k happening within WoD is categorically impossible

a few reasons why:

What to know the weirdest thing? The absolute weirdest bit of WoD lore? Okay, get ready for it; space, as we know it, does not technically have an objective reality within the context of WoD. The planets are generally depicted as being spirit realms in their own right. Alien life does not exist, except as weird spirits probably born from ideas until they achieve a retroactive existence. This is related to the fact that science is not an objective facet of reality, but a specific magical paradigm enforced by the Technocracy, the assumed default antagonists of the Mage line, and that includes planets, which technically only exist in a scientific context because people think it does. (If enough people sincerely 'knew' that the planets are crystal spheres pushed by angels, that would retroactively become reality.) So that essentially means that a lot of Warhammer's basic physics, goofy and over the top as they are, can't really exist in the setting in an objective sense. (In theory you COULD, if you got all humanity to believe there's orks and elves in space, but in practice that would be a lot of work without much to show for it, and again, in 40k they just exist. Humanity's opinion on them is irrelevant. In WoD, Earth is the only functional planet for all intents and purposes.)

The Warp is... not exactly the same thing as the Umbra, or the spirit world. In fact, there's several aspects of the Warp (it as a realm of ideas and dreams/nightmares, where faith takes on a form, and so on) that are similar to aspects of the Umbra, but not in the same precise region, and a lot of them have their own existence independent from anyone's belief. Mortal life is, paradoxically, both a largely irrelevant aspect of existence to spirits and the source of what we think of as reality, but that means that not only do equivalents to the Chaos Gods not exist, they probably wouldn't be able to materialize in the 40k way. The Triat, the cosmic forces of the Wyrm and Wyld and Weaver, MIGHT be assumed to be equivalent, but no; they're bigger than the Chaos gods, and sort of in a 'thrashing cosmic force that can be read as not actually being sapient'. That last point is a bit foggy to be honest, since the Wyrm is often described as being driven mad and THAT'S why the force of balance has become malicious corruption, but they are often implied to be cosmic forces that do not and CANNOT make moral choices, but simply do what is in their nature. Tzeentch may make schemes, but he is still shaped by forces and making his decisions, in his own way; the Weaver does not, and when she strives to define all reality into absolute stasis, it is simpler her doing what she IS. But anyway the point is that the Umbra isn't really analogous to the Warp, and its the closest thing in the setting. 3. A lot of 40k's aspects are integral, inalterable parts of the setting that have their own objective reality; psykers exist and pull power from the Warp. WoD is not like this, it is weird and chaotic and a mash up of cosmologies that make no sense in full context, half the time things only exist because people think they do and at the exact same time half the spirits and spirit realms we see are KIND OF like mythologies but also not. Everything is weird and full of secrets and also the world was supposed to have been destroyed several years before the events of WoD, but a big part of the setting is that everyone is facing down one apocalypse or another. 4. If you do obvious magic that people think isn't possible (in terms of what the local paradigm concludes is impossible; time travel machines have the same effect even in places where science is a dominant paradigm because EVERYONE KNOWS TIME TRAVEL ISNT POSSIBLE), you tend to explode. Or get retconned out of reality. Not in the same way as demons being drawn by psykers, but... look, its called Paradox and it gets weird, and reality doesn't like getting bent out of shape. This also means that the kind of impossible feats and blasting attacks typical for 40k Psykers would be EVEN MORE DESTRUCTIVE to them, personally. So the kinds of thing the Emperor is known to do isn't something that could generally happen in the setting of WoD.

[the-boring-distopia]

Hey guys. I'm currently busy but I just want to say the Mercy au is nearing it's end. I will probably complete it soon and it will be up on ao3 before june ends (the english version, anyway. The hungarian needs some work). I finalized most of the plot and written like ⅔ of the remaining dialogue, I also want to redraw the cover I made for it but I'm not sure about that one lol. I was not giving consistent updates because my schedule got crazy and I did not want to hype it up without actually delivering a new chapter. But yeah, it's all coming together. I will probably drop all the remaining chapters together to avoid having to rewrite them like with chapter three - which I will fix soon.

It was a wild ride and though it's not yet technically over, I'm not sure what my next big project will be. I've been writing short fics beside the Mercy au and I do enjoy those but I'm thinking about starting a new big project after this one ends. I just miss having multi-chapter fics with long plotlines and even minor characters having their time. It also just allows for characters to have more time to be presented.

These are some of the ideas I gathered over the months and I'm just curious which one you'd actually like:

I've been wanting to write an Idan political drama for a long time, something about Ianthe taking out rivals who are trying to square up with Corona. Just some Dominicus political drama with characters jabbing at each other in public and manufacturing their downfall behind closed doors. I fully intend to paint Ida as distopian, authorian and borderline cult like as possible, so things like political corruption, human experiments and even slavery would not be off the table as topics that come up - also murder, but Ianthe is there so you're probably not surprised. I'm thinking at least four chapters for this one, but I must warn you I'm first and foremost a descriptive writer, this has not yet shown in my other fics but there will be paragraphs about Idan architecture and character descriptions. [I actually have a name idea for this one! What about "Stoma"? The area around a tumor that supports it and helps it survive?]

When I said I'm putting Mercymorn in the Warhammer universe, I meant it. But there are just so many opportunities, characters and things that would make Mercymorn absolutely crazy that I can't do this idea justice without giving it at least three chapters. Plot would be basically Mercymorn walking up on a foreign ship after being murdered by god and she's forced to escape onto another ship because the ship gets attacked. This becomes a pattern that continues until Mercymorn has enough and tries to kill her new boss who also turns out to he immortal and trying to recreate humanity, which pisses Mercymorn off even more. There will be a fair bit of gore in this one, mixed in with dark humor, evil space bugs, orks, a suspiciously big talking rat, necrons, Mercymorn accidentally ejecting a demon out of an air lock and some more. [Gotta name this one "Call a doctor - but not for me"]

Harrianthe arranged marriage au where they are both told that they need to kill each other, but the attempted murder makes them actually fall in love because they are freaks. In this au the emperor does not call for them so they never go to canaan house, Gideon is dead (major plot point) and the Tomb may or may not be open. In this au Ianthe is intersex and her arm is missing because Corona has absorbed it in the womb, they need to have a necromantic heir for the ninth to get resources and funding from the third in exchange for some old records (another plot point), but Harrow is scarred by what happened to the 200 children while Ianthe is missing Corona so they need to figure that out. I don't know how many chapters yet, probably a lot.

I've been thinking a lot about Alecto so what about a short adventure where Alecto takes a stroll around Dominicus and observes things? Shes just rolling around in fields of flowers and tearing animals apart for dinner, just your usual barbie girl activities. Three chapters?

And at last, a really stupid idea: a friend of mine wanted to write a warhammer fantasy au for tlt but they abandoned the project. The main idea was that there is this artefact (that opens the tomb, but they don't know that) that every character is trying to get before their enemies do, instead of houses every character has a faction of interest, Harrow has a cult of vampires/necromancers who want to keep the tomb closed (more like Harror tries to keep the illusion lol), Camilla and Palamedes (who is kind of dead) are working for Tzeentch and they want to study it, Ianthe wants the artefact solely to cause problems, John is the emperor and Mercymorn is trying to kill him every day unsuccessfully, Judith and Marta are from Cathay... You get the idea. I just love the idea of putting these characters in a medieval setting where "rats have nuclear weapons" and "the sex demons are fighting the lizard people" are both valid sentences. I just want to write Ianthe foil her own plans and blame Babs for it, or Camilla having to deal with everybodies bullshit. I don't know how long this one should be, until Ianthe catching fire and accidentally betraying herself stops being funny, I guess.

[dzthenerd490]

Space Marine Chapter: Angel Guard

Description: A Space Marine Chapter born from the Dark Angels and hailing from the moon Vigilus orbiting the world of New Cadia. Entrusted to protect High Ranking Imperials during Crusades especially the established members of Crusade Councils. They ensure that all assets during a crusade are secured so that no enemy can exploit any possible weaknesses that will lead to either a shameful retreat or unthinkable surrender of Imperial forces. They are one of the only Chapters that not only get along with Imperial Troopers rather well but refer to Troopers from the Children of Cadia Regiment as brothers and sisters.

It is believed this kinship comes from the fact that they were born on one of the moons of New Cadia, a planet that was colonized to be the new home of the Cadians after the fall of their original world. However, the only Imperial force they will never acknowledge as friendly in any manner is their parent Legion the Dark Angels. Like most Chapters born from the Dark Angels they are rather ashamed of the downfall of the Dark Angels and actively avoid even making eye contact with them and refuse to bow when a Dark Angel passes by.

Unique Trait: “Golden Fortification” a powerful ability that coats an Angel Guard in golden light making them indestructible to all forms of attack. This ability can be maintained for as long as the Angel Guard desires but only so long as they remain in place. If they move their position they will lose this ability and be unable to utilize it again for at least 5 hours.

Arsenal:

Crystal Blade Holy Spear - A Holy Spear made with a unique crystal found only on Vigilus. Like all Holy Weapons it can be activated with a chant from the wielder, for the Crystal Blade Holy Spear the cant is “Holy Spear, erase all my enemies”. Once said the crystal will glow bright and be able to completely incinerate anything it touches. This state of the Crystal Blade Holy Spear is very dangerous as it can erase the Angel Guard and other Imperial Forces if not used carefully.

Holy Shield of Regeneration - A Holy Weapon commonly given to all Chapters born from the Dark Angels. The Shield is strong enough to even be able to resist more than one blast from a Necron Atomizer cannon. However, should the shield or the wielder ever suffer great damage, the user can chant “May the Blessings of the Emperor shield me from pain” and both the user and the shield will heal instantly.

Bolter Pistol - Heavily condensed version of the original Bolter Gun made to be able to hold 6 canisters of God Blood with a total of 120 bolt shots. Normally only possesses Incendiary, Cryo, Explosive, Electric, and Armor Piercing frequencies.

Dual Cyber Batons - Batons made with batteries inside that shock anything upon impact with anywhere to 200 to 500,000,000 volts. The amount of voltage can be changed by the Angel Guard through a cyber connection with the Helmet Visor. Powerful enough to merely stun a human as well as fry the insides of even the strongest of Orks.

Deity of Worship: Because the Angel Guards are ashamed of their heritage they do not acknowledge Lion as their God anymore. Instead they worship both Rogal and Roboute as their Gods. They worship Rogal to make their bodies fortified and strong enough to defend crusade councils they are assigned to protect. They worship Roboute to remind themselves to always put their duty first and have the strength and determination to follow it through, always.

Recruitment: Because Vigilus has been colonized with the Angel Guard's DNA factory it naturally worships both Roboute and Rogal. it is considered the utmost essential and most honorable duty to be able to guard anything within the Imperium on Vigilus because of this. As such schools on Vigilus not only teach students common Imperial Propaganda, History, and basic Education such as Math, Science, and Literature; they also teach students to be the best guards in any situation. Often students are assigned to guard certain items of importance in the schools, unknown to them they are being watched by the Priests of both Churches.

Occasionally children that are known to be talentless or troublemakers will be given candy and promised more in exchange for stealing the items the guard students are protecting. The student on guard is to protect the item they are assigned to for at least one month. If they can prevent the item being taken from its position within that month from the various assigned thieves, they will be chosen as an Angel Guard.

Once they are chosen, they and their parents will be told of this and how it will be a great honor to become an Angel Guard. This will be done as a test of faith as if the parents of the child refuses they will be banished to a planet in the region of the rotting Dark Angels where they will live out their days in shame and false hope. Naturally those that accept will be taken to the Angel Guard DNA factory within the Capital City of Vigilus.

Once the process within the rebirthing pod is complete they will return to their city as elite guards until such time as they are called to action during a crusade. Because they must be sentinel guards without weakness they are to only meet with past friends and family when they are off duty and their armor is gone.

Caution Regarding Chaos:

Khorne of Sacrifice and War - Immune, Angel Guards are meant to be sentinels of protection, war and battle does not interest them; only defense and Khorne is a god that only knows attack, his voice cannot reach them.

Tzeentch of Corrupting Knowledge and Magic - Immune, being the embodiment of perfect sentinels they have no need for any further knowledge. Or at least anything Tzeentch can tempt them with.

Nurgle of Disease and Decay - Low Risk, there is a rare chance that an Angel Guard will be disillusioned by their task as a sentinel and become so bored to the point they will see themselves as living corpses. Nurgle will find a good place for them should they reach a point of great depression. However, because of their faith in Roboute and Rogal as well as their genetically bred determination they can mostly resist Nurgle’s calls.

Slaanesh of Pleasure and Pain - Medium Risk, being a sentinel is an honor but it can be a bore for Angel Guards who find very little chance at free time given their dwindled ability to enjoy it. Slaanesh can help them find joy and excitement in life again but for a price that only the most bored and disillusioned Angel Guards will be willing to pay.

Malice of Anarchy and Vengeance - High Risk, Angel Guards that have died in combat or never get to see any real action may be filled with regret to the point that Malice can grant them what they need to get revenge or obtain the power they need to do more in life.

.

Warhammer 40K Retold Hub

WH40KR: Space Marines Hub

[f101-voodoo-silver]

One thing about 40k that got severely skewed because of the tabletop vs the lore is that space marines are utter manlets.

Even normal humans should be taller than they are (they're 28mm so they're the same size as people from other games like Bolt Action, ergo 175cm when they should be 195-205cm methinks) and SMs wearing armor were... the same height as a guard. Which means they're even shorter.

Thankfully this is changing but even normal Astartes should be 250+cm tall unarmored and nearly 300cm tall with. Primaris' and Thunder Warriors should be even bigger. Orks should also be massive, much more than they currently are.

Also I fucking hate GW for the shitty balance meaning a couple squads of IG can face off a few SMs. Like lmao no they should get utterly facefucked unless the former has heavy weapons on hand.

We're basically integrating 40k stuff into our wargame so it's properly represented, so yeah a single space marine will be able to fight and win against an entire army of modern military dudes.

[sortyourlifeoutmate]

So I am presently intrigued by the Leagues of Votann, and I wanted to learn more about their lore and so - since it's 10th edition now and everything - I got a copy of the 9th ed codex for a song. Nice!

How well GW did in reviving the squats and fitting them into the tone of what 40k is now, you know, thirty-odd years later is likely a subjective matter. They couldn't ever come back how they were! I do quite like some of the ways they've transposed a lot of the WFB Dwarf ideas into SPACE - they're still hoarders, still live in deep dark holds, etcetera, and I do kind of like the angle that, really, they're a survivor of humanity's past and a glimpse at what might have gone on back then.

I always enjoy imagining The Dark Age of Technology stuff from 40k, because it's basically that period of time when somewhere in the galaxy humanity was doing something that you saw once in a sci-fi film and would like to happen. Doesn't matter how ridiculous, during humanity's technological golden age it happened somewhere before everything went to shit.

So the idea that, like, you know, the squats - as imrpessive as they are now - are more-or-less, like, leftover miners? Guys who were basically, hell, maybe even just artificially grown and made to go off into space and dig rocks but, since everything went to shit, got left to their own devices and now this is where they are? Kinda neat. Kinda makes me think of orks, actually - still around way after the war they were made for is over, just carrying on.

That's not explicit, obviously, but it's how I like to think of it.

But really the main takeaway I'm getting from the codex is that it's their first codex. It's giving me a strong sense of the first tau codex where they hadn't really settled in yet. You're told they've been around and have all these pre-existing relations, but you don't feel it, because really they don't and just showed up.

That, and they're way, way too reasonable. Just like the first tau codex these guys get along, they don't squabble, they aren't especially superstitious, they get how technology works, they're motivated, united, and what obvious flaws they have aren't really given all that much weight or time.

Which isn't very 40k, you know? Everyone here is broken.

Guess they need time to breathe...

[artrenewal]

Adding my own chapters that I'll draw and expand on one day.

Iron specters-A successor of the iron hands that splintered off during the heresy after their Primarchs death. instead of embracing the code of iron within and iron without they took a humanistic approach after working with the salamanders. They picked a random abandoned solar system filled with dark skin humans with silver hair and eyes that worshipped a dysfunctional necron tomb that seemingly gives them super natural strength and recruited from them in the small local back water solar system was an ork infestation in a forge world they retook it and also created several other chapters while defending the solar system from invasions after invasion of all of humanities enemies from slannesh to dark eldar slowly creating a safe bubble being trapped inside they were forgotten by the imperium and thought dead left with no mechanicum aid they retook the forge world and learned everything they can they forge and crafted their own versions of power armor, spears and shields after 10,000 years they finally broke through and rejoined the imperium and fight for humanity at large.

post union unlike most worlds they don't produce soldiers they only produce only officers, sisters, assassins, psychers etc. they also forbid the mechanicum from ever entering the solar system and have even attacked them in several occasion in protest the mechanicum refuses to share information or produce for them.

due to the lack of support they slowly build various amount of skills that splinter off into other groups post rejoining the imperium but due to the closeness of it all they still consider each other as one and each chapter as a branch. This one is the melee. All groups however are expected to be master technicians, blacksmiths, linguist , hunters , builders, etc.

due to the lack of aid they have trained and expanded the once singular inhabited solar system into a forge system that's fortified enough to make even dorn grunt in some approval. The people went from an early 1800s based society to a post modern 2100s one with zulu esthetic that encourage innovation.

due to closeness they all recruit the same way. they pick a random planet out of the solar system outside of recently used ones take any willing males if they don't have enough they will then raid and take them. They do 8 things forge 100 weapons in 2 weeks. hunt a creature any creature with only the worst weapons they crafted and skin them. touch the necron tomb, Basic then special training for a year, fighting in wars as an assistant or scout, pilot thunderhawks and provide arial support and finally lead a legion of base line humans against any enemy available failure will have you take up a leadership position in the PDF.

their main weapons of choice is a spear that after reaching sergeant is upgraded to a lightning spear adorned with Trible scribed a logo of the emperor and a gear they can also fit their spears into their shields. They used heavily redesigned small shields that create a bubble of protection that also cause's confusion in chaos entities making them seemingly hard to see but not invisible. They then adorn their armor how they see fit with the skin of the creature they killed in training then cast it in a coating of plasteel. They will then return to their families and further adorn their armor and coat it also in plasteel. when they return they will then be considered full space marines that is the final test.

Their main battle style is dexterity and speed over everything. their goal is to swarm and saturate the enemy with multiple pockets that speed in and out then into each other like a dancing hurricane of spears and death. They only fight at legion size at minimum fighting by half any lower and they will retreat and bombard the planet.

Bladed Bulwark Warhawk: unlike other chapters they specialize in space battle with heavily modified spaceships that look more like sea urchins they destroy enemy offensive capability then attack them from within and take any non chaos tainted tech anything chaos is thrown in a black hole the black hole now has eyes.

officers of the solar protectors: This chapter is the long range arm of the legion, they lead an army of base line humans into war and use their contrasting sizes to their advantage and work with humans being recruited into the legion even post rejoining the imperium. They are expert marksmen and use heavily modified heavy bolters as snipers that can be refitted back into a heavy bolter.

The sisters arms of vengeance: a post union chapter that works with the sisters of battle the only group that can match their hate for humanities enemies. this is a legion of haters their main goal is not to win but to personally ruin the days of any hostile species. it can be from letting an ork kill them leading to the ork being sad he didn't get a good fight, destroying the engine of eldar space ships or craft worlds not even to kill them but to strand them in space and watch them panic. and throwing their stones into space this goes on for every enemy except the necrons. They also are simps for the sisters and are seemingly always with them or in their original solar system.

Craft sons: This chapter fight wars using biological weapons that can so from melting, gassing, etc the enemy. their suits are also heavily modified to release a toxic cloud after they die as a final act of hate.

The quakes: They are an entirely terminator focused chapter these terminators are also heavily modified one big modification are heavy boots with wires leading up to their power packs that act as their versions of fist weapons. They create earthquakes while they walk destrouing structures by walking and can be opt out of easily. They mainly use some of the lightest armor that can be used for a terminator allowing for dexterity and an increase in speed its compensates with a scaled down version of knight shields.

(Solar defence force) SDF Final wall: unlike most of the legion they stayed entirely in the solar system defending it from all enemies and Are building odd structures on all their planets and stars. They mainly allow the pdf to fight their own battles and provide support.

EMP Squad: they specialize in technological warfare via destroying ships, weapons, vehicles etc remotely and long term fortification warfare. Long story short they turn off vehicles, power weapons etc build a sand castle and kill whoever jas the guts to look them in the eye.

[misanthropemom]

It's so cute when my old people friends on Facebook discover a basic Tumblr thing like stabby or humans are space orks. Someone just posted the picture that started the whole "they crave that mineral" thing.

[mayyonase]

Very silly post but I'm feeling autisitc so What Army I think the Jade Winglet would play on Tabletop Warhammer 40k.

Moonwatcher:

I think she'd play a very psyker heavy army, probably Thousand Sons. I think she'd be drawn to the concept of Psykers as a whole.

I think she might at first get kinda turned off from the setting as a whole specifically because Psykers are basically always in danger of dying painfully, but she'll come around to it.

Winter:

Easy call, Guard. Too interested in Humans as a whole and the guard represents to most human faction. I also think he'd find their playstyle intriguing on top of that. He almost certainly also ends up with the best painted army. Every single unit of his would be obscenely detailed.

Peril (And Turtle):

They're together because Peril can't actually touch the pieces, and I think Turtle would be content to just kinda help her play.

Khorne.

Daemons? Space marines? Yeah Sure, either.

Simple army, simple fun. Blood for the Blood God, Skulls for the Skull throne.

Qibli:

Tau. I think he'd like their flavor of "good". Just as well their more long range tactical play would probably be something he's interested in. Surprisingly I think he'd also be the first one to get into the game, and that he and Kinkajou would end up getting everyone else to play.

Kinkajou:

Orks. At first because they were the funny option but it's grown into a genuine attachment as she got more into the universe. She's weirdly good at it but still stays silly with plays that may not be "Tactically Optimal"

[skeleton-png]

aw necrons are awesome. they’ve woken up after millions of years asleep to find humans and eldar (space elves) and orks (space orcs) all over what used to be their empire, so they’re basically in a perpetual state of “get off my lawn >:(“

also some of them have robot dementia.

highly recommend all the necron books— The Infinite and the Divine rocks, as do both Twice Dead King books and also Severed

Ahh, that's pretty funny haha. I really appreciate the book recommendations, I'll check them out some time. Thank you lots!!

[thestrangestoneofall]

Hi, finally doing something besides reposting again lol

I watch a lot of stuff about like Arma and occasionally play foxhole, war games are my shit

So now of course I’m writing the basics for a far future scifi story about humanity in a union with various alien races and it will have many additions to “Humans are Space Orks” cuz I think that tag is funny

Stay tuned

[stackofsnakes]

Aliens come in many flavours. scary aliens and aliens that are basically just green humans are classics, recently there's a lot of aliens that are better than us "What do you mean you haven't eliminated suffering? Are you stupid?" or just in awe at us (humans are space orks), but personally i like the idea of aliens just being so different to us, any contact is frustratingly convoluted, their own problems are entirely incomprhensible to us and any sort of coexistence within a society is just pointless. Like, no social commentary here, no race or disability allegories, just an exercize in weirdness.

[articskele]

Which Warhammer 40k factions I think my OCs would like!!

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Dove: The Adepta Sororitas, aka Battle Sisters. She would LOVE these gals. She already has that archangel with a flaming sword / divine rage / Joan of Arc thing going on, and the sheer force of human will used to create literal miracles on the battlefield is right up her alley. And she's a brutal motherfucker like them too- AND THE STORY OF SAINT CELESTINE

For context, just like how the Space Marines have different chapters (or subclasses for a D&D comparison lol), the Battle Sisters have six orders based on six saints. All of these saints are dead except for one, Saint Celestine.

She basically has the ability to come back from the dead, and each time, she must brave the terrors of the warp (basically this universe's hell), going through various trials to find pieces of herself. The last trial being to find and comfort a crying little girl that represents her hope.

But her bones appear in this realm everytime she dies, so when she no longer has the strength to climb the growing pile of bones is when she will truly die. And OUGHHHH that hits Dove HARD.

Suffice to say she's a ride or die Sororita enthusiast, she either has cosplayed one or REALLY wants to, and in a Warhammer AU she would absolutely be one.

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Mel: Oh they're an Adeptus Mechanicus girlie >:D She adores the vibes of the Ad Mech, the robes and the agumentations and the quest for knowledge. And the goofy aspects are just as important to her as the serious ones!

There's the Sydonian Skatros, a skitarii model with comically long stilt legs so it doesn't need to climb up to a vantage point in order to use a sniper rifle.

There's the Ironstrider Ballistarius, which is basically a self-powered chicken walker. The only person who knew how it worked died, and everyone's afraid that if they turn it off they won't be able to turn it back on, so when they're not in battle they're just left running in circles-

Tech priests will literally recite instruction manuals, like when they do the ritual for turning something on they're basically saying "press the power button and hold for three seconds" in High Gothic or Binaric.

Speaking of Binaric, tech priests have invented a variety of languages designed to transmit information as efficiently as possible, but to those without the augmentations to understand it, it just sounds like electronic noises. And they get noticeably miffed with having to speak normally because it's suboptimal-

Mel relates to these funny cyborgs more than they'd like to admit, they're a firm believer in tech priests having autism bc "THEY'RE JUST LIKE ME FR," and she insists that playing the Mechanicus OST will make your electronics work better.

Though my second choice would be Orks! I don't know nearly as much about them, but they're basically hulking green giants with rough british accents who make their shoddy craftsmanship work way better than it should through sheer force of collective will. And they're just plain fun!

I saw this one photo of a book, where it had this formal Ad Mech prayer, and right below it was the ork battle cry "cmon cmon cmon!!" and I think both sum her up very well gjhsdfksd

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Stone: The Astra Militarum, aka Imperial Guard. The appeal of the Guard is that they're the underdogs of the galaxy. In a world where the weakest weapon is a laser gun that can blast through concrete, in a world where the literal gods of chaos lay waste to all that oppose them, there are regular humans. And they fight on.

I've heard that it's been quoted ad nauseam, but one of the most badass phrases I've heard is about the fall of Cadia. Cadia was a planet situated right next to the Eye of Terror, basically a giant warp rift. Thus making the planet the cork that kept everything from exploding out of control.

Countless demons kept coming out of it to attack the planet, among other things as the conflict heated up, but eventually the planet itself was obliterated. The Eye of Terror spread, isolating all who stood on the other side of the galaxy, but there are still people over there who fight to the bitter end.

The planet broke before the Guard did.

And I've heard that the demographic of Guard fans, at least for people who actually play the tabletop, are older dudes? So that fits him too ouo

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Petra: She's giving Salamanders! Despite the bright red eyes and all-consuming flame weapons of these Space Marines, they're known for their appreciation of humanity and the arts. Salamanders will go out of their way to ensure the safety of civilians, and they pride themselves in crafting weapons that are both effective and beautiful.

It reminds me of how Petra would've been a blacksmith had she never been torn from her homeworld, and come to think of it, I could see her going on to pursue that career after the trio beats Percy!

And I imagine she'd really resonate with the idea of super intimidating self-sufficient warriors who are more than what meets the eye, being someone who hides her emotions behind fire and explosions. Also dragons are hella cool >:D