#I ... cannot relate
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The part of the Httyd books I didn't get (Just a me problem)
ALL THE GODDAM RAIN. I live in a desert, have for my whole life; it rains like once in two months. It's an unusually "rainy month" when it rains more than three times. 99% of our water comes from the snow on the mountains. The Bogs of Berk honestly don't feel real. they just do not. Like I understand that there are places where it rains constantly on a logical level-I've been in rainy places for like a couple of days- but emotionally, the concept of a constant downpour is such a foreign concept that it feels just as fantastical as the dragons in the books.
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everyone says they wanna fuck an alien but when laezel baldursgate3 steps up...
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They only have three snakes, meanwhile I grew up in an area with only three types of VENEMOUS danger noodles???? Not even to get into counting the various other harmless ones we'd find??? How???
gonna be honest nothing has fucked with my head more than learning that the UK only has three species of snake. like what do you mean three? three species with twelve subspecies? three native species but a ton of other nonnative ones? three species technically but it's an accident of ancient taxonomy?
nope. just three
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It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.
#also has made it increasingly difficult to relate to those early into their transition honestly#like not in a bitter way it’s just like hard to express how diff the experience is#of being like a year on T vs 5 😭#ETA I muted this post ages ago now but fwiw seeing transphobes pop up in the notes on occasion just to say cruel reactionary shit#you are clowns I cannot imagine seeing a post that is ONLY about discussing with folks about the reality of a medication#and choosing to make that your moment to get a schoolyard bully jab in about how you find it gross or something.#you are less well adjusted than most children. may the universe be kinder to you than you are to others.
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* * *
Mission mode change detected, now in Monument Mode Goodnight friends. After exchanging our final bits of data,
I will hold vigil on this spot in Mare Crisium to watch humanity's continued journey to the stars.
Here, I will outlast your mightiest rivers, your tallest mountains, and perhaps even your species as we know it.
But it is remarkable that a species might be outlasted by its own ingenuity.
Here lies Blue Ghost, a testament to the team who, with the loving support of their families and friends, built and operated this machine and its payloads,
to push the capabilities and knowledge of humanity one small step further.
Per aspera ad astra!
Love, Blue Ghost
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no you are actively crying over a dying robot on the moon i am doing just fine thanks
#blue ghost#space things#‘mission mode change detected now in monument mode’#are you fucking kidding me pals#i really really cannot#our dying robot emissary on the moon feels a bit too on the nose#for These Times#years ago chris hadfield gave a talk at the place where i worked#and he answered all kinds of questions about space and told us space facts#anyway he related that it’s hard to sleep in space#because you close your eyes and still see bursts of cosmic radiation#no matter what you do#and you have to be like strapped down on a table#or else you will float away#anyway#thinking space thoughts#good night blue ghost#never sleep
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Mel and Viktor being drawn to each other but repelling each other at the same time... Ughhh you know I critique the fuck out of the writing sometimes but someone COOKED HERE
#arcane#mel medarda#viktor arcane#viktor#melvik#one must see beyond ships and instead witness the glorious narrative foils unfolding before our eyes#meljayvik#somebody pussy queened the fuck out in the writing room I cannot deny it#And you know what people don't talk about their parallels enough in relation to each other and their own characters#the parallels go so far beyond Jayce love my king tho#and that theory about her magic not protecting him against the explosion because his own magic repelled it
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my hands still remember
#my other favourite flavour of them: sad#i think they're both very tragic in different ways#it's like one of them has too much of a past while the other has nothing#i like to imagine that some days stelle feels a bit uncomfortable with how many “human” experiences#are ones that she cannot relate to#she wasn't created for it in the first place.#honkai star rail#hsr#stelle#aventurine#avenstelle#fanart#digital#my art
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is it normal to want to fuck but not want romance?
#its not that i dont want a romantic relationship its more like.#i dont care for it.#like i feel like with the way people talk about it and yearn for it feels v#too much#likw yeah i get it crushes are fun but like romance is just meh in comparison to everything else for me#not saying i wouldn't want a romance but like its the last thing i'd be thinkin of in life.#cus i see some of my friends being down bad for romance and i#i cannot relate#i dont understand why its that big a deal.#maybe i did when i was like 9 but now i really dont care.#would still wanna fuck wit someone though.#consensually.#i also prefer the romance in like fiction. that shit is juicy to me.
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The Murderbot TV show is finally here!
#murderbot diaries#murderbot#Ratthi#ayda mensah#arada#gurathin#digital art#When I made my last murderbot comic I didn't realize how close we were to season 1 starting.#I have yet to watch the new episodes so I cannot vouch for the quality - but I am still going to say 'hey watch this show!'#It's a fun sci-fi about a robot who was built to be a security guard and just wants to watch TV.#It is powered by anxiety and depression and struggles to understand it's place in the world.#Which is to say it is a deeply relatable character.#It is also a great narrative about how much stronger we are when we are not alone.#Give it a try if you haven't already! The books are novella length and the audiobook is only a few hours long.#EDIT: if you saw this before I adjusted the colours - no you didn't.#I need a new laptop badly...my current one is incapable of seeing purple or yellow.#EDIT 2: If you saw this with the typo...I'm so sorry. And no you didn't.
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i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.
it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.
at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.
even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.
when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.
the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.
you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?
and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?
and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."
how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.
i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.
i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?
#spilled ink#warm up#tbh more of a diary than a poem#i need to write this stuff down bc my ptsd likes to forget trauma pretty much WHILE it's happening#and any time i find myself making it ''my fault'' again i have to walk myself through the grounding steps#it's so hard to describe emotional abuse. bc it's so fucking easy to get sucked into#like. you're an empathetic person. so when ur partner comes to you after a nasty fight and is like#“i really was trying to get my feelings heard and you didn't hear me last night” you're like - okay you know what#i'll do the right thing. this is my fault. let me take accountability and try to empathize and talk things out.#with the assumption that later - it'll be ''your turn'' right. you'll be able to bring up the screaming and talk about how#you BOTH need to make a safe space for each other. that you can't listen if your partner is literally shouting at you.#since YOU reflect and grow and try to be a better partner. you assume SHE will be doing the same thing.#but it is never your turn. she will never bring up the screaming. you cannot tell if she LEGIT just doesn't feel culpable.#and when u bring it up. she says ''so i deserved you talking to me badly? <- this doesn't go well.#she says you're blaming her. she doesn't understand that arguments are ''two sides and the truth''. it's that 1 person is right and 1 isn't#so u try to talk it out. get both perspectives heard. but over time it just becomes easier to let her get her rant out and shut up about u#until one day you wake up and despite months of treating you terribly - and admitting it 3 weeks ago!!! - she's now saying...#you were always terrible . you were always the issue. she never got her feelings heard.#meanwhile you remember literally MONTHS of supporting her and listening to her and silencing yourself.#and bc she TRAINED you to accept fault ... you just say sorry. you feel insane. you feel incredibly unhinged.#meanwhile. i fully am the kind of person that will reflect. come back after a fight. apologize before you ask. say things like#“i see your side now and i was wrong about this/that/the other thing.” ...... this is EMOTIONAL MATURITY.#she literally started calling it ''mindgames'' and ''flip flopping." ........#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#<- girl who def was emotionally abused but also doesn't really understand that yet#anyway love u get OUT OF THERE IF YOU RELATE BYE!!!!
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the real reason tmagp is on break 'til april 11th is so sam can observe ramadan without being chased by a murderous clown blob
#tmagp#tmagp s1#tmagp spoilers#the Magnus protocol#if for some islam-related reason this joke doesn't work plz tell me - i was thinking. i would like to see some content#exploring/including sam possibly being muslim considering his name and VAs ethnicity#and what better way to support that than make it myself?#joos yaps#samama#samama khalid#tmagp sam#but i am v much an outsider so lmk if i missed something#tbf. i cannot think of any way this could be somehow misconstrued. but you dont know what you dont know!
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POV you’ve informed the Queen and the Court’s Sorcerer of something and they very clearly know something that they’re not letting on
#hehe just a silly doodle#Gwen’s great at subtlety so would this even happen? debatable#just feel like they’d definitely get up to magical shenanigans post-canon#plus there were enough things in the show that could make a reappearance#Lady Vivian is visiting? Oh no is she still under the curse??? D: *cue mutual looks of alarm*#(it’s okay she’s not. justiceforvivian2024)#but anyway STILL they’d definitely go sneaking around in the vaults or library to find answers to the latest Situation tm#like yeah magic is legal and Guinevere is literally the queen#but that doesn’t stop them from shiftilly snooping!! shiftilly snooping just Happens when ur friends with Merlin#it’s like enrichment for them#ANYWAY yet again I have NO idea what proper anatomy is and I did not use a reference for Merlin and only glanced at one for Gwen so#sorry I cannot do u justice merlin + guinevere </3#my mom once glanced at one of my doodles when I was home and she was like why does Merlin look like a monkey#WHICH WAS KINDA OUT OF POCKET TBH 😭😭#but maybe one of these days I’ll actually learn drawing-related things so I can better spread my beloved post canon Merlin agenda#Merlin#Gwen#merlin fanart#bbc merlin#my art#art#merwen#EDIT: fixed up the colouring bc it was bothering meee rip
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Will Brainstorm ever be able to bag someone? Or is just constantly fumbling.
It would take a miracle
#unless you're into the whole biting thing in which case I cannot help you#sorry I had my romance related asks lined up bahaha#my art#ask
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Trying to explain my obsession with tgwdlm to people
#he’s having such a terrible time#and sadistically I love that for him#I’m certain this will have been done before but I don’t care#I love him#and all of them#never have I related to someone so much#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#paul matthews#tgwdlm#the guy who didn't like musicals#starkid#team starkid#I’m so excited#cannot wait#for the reprisal#my current hyperfixation#and special interest#and everything#so much so that this terrible meme is the first meme I’ve ever made#but I stand by it
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I WANT TO SEE THE AZURETIME DUO AND OTHER POSTSAKEN SURVIVORS INTERACT
I never see ANY content with Azuretime interacting with other survivors. It’s always just them and they need some postsaken friends
(I told you I’d be back lol. I love ur Azure design too much (‘: )
welcome back to purgatory hell, take my silly little headcanons


#i cannot lie i had NO IDEA what character to have interacting with azure#now that i think about it i probably couldve done cerulean but uuhhh#lowkey dgaf about cerulean yet and we know nothing about her relation to azure#so he gets to be buddies with john doe hahahahhh#as for two time i think they and 7n7 grow pretty close#theyre almost like a second adult child to him#forsaken#forsaken roblox#forsaken art#postsaken au#azure forsaken#two time forsaken#john doe forsaken#c00lkidd forsaken#007n7 forsaken#mildes art tag#rats asks#roblox#roblox art
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The soul of Wicked is randomly inventing extremely elaborate relationships between characters who barely interact at all in canon. Also Fiyero is here.
#I am never drawing Fiyero that detail again but I must admit he is slaying#Also double jointed Fiyero feels so obvious but ive never heard anyone else say it#wicked#wicked movie#wicked 2024#wizard of oz#oz books#land of oz#fiyero tigelaar#boq woodsman#wicked boq#general jinjur#art#digital art#fanart#OK so initially the thought was just that Jinjur had Boq basically kidnapped as a court jester for her amusement#I needed to figure out where to put him since Wicked ends so differently from the book and we dont really know where he goes after the movi#And. Ill be honest having him kidnapped by yet another female dictator felt cosmically funny. Man cannot stop getting into situations.#also it felt mildly less depressing then the other option which was him rotting alone in the woods until people found him#At first it was just gonna be like ooooo she treats him bad and yells go white boy go and threatens to rust him into a statue if he doesnt#Which is still basically accurate. But then I read something on her wiki. And I realized. She is a munchkin too.#That combined with the hc that munchkins have big families meant the next step was obvious. I. should make them related.#They are cousins and Boq feels kinda responsible for not saving her like he promised he would even tho he was just a kid#and he kinda didnt have that option when he was running away to Shiz#So like even tho the whole dictator thing is kinda giving him flashbacks he wants to make sure she doesnt become another Nessa 'cause of hi#Also idk if her age was ever actually stated in the book but I was under the impression she was a teenager just a little older than Tip
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