#I ALMOST FORGOT TO POST THIS. brain empty

[aq2003]

here is my 10th doctor playlist! give it a listen if u want :]

the songs are ordered (vaguely) chronologically and by series, the sections are as follows:

rose: song for ten -> everything changes in time

martha: my angel put the devil in me -> against the kitchen floor

the master: this is gallifrey: our childhood, our home -> green jewels

donna: a noble girl about town -> the frost

post-journey's end: song for ten (reprise) -> cicada days

time lord victorious: your eyes, will i ever -> take me as i am

the end of time: time and i -> flight of the crows

60th specials: wave after wave -> inertia

some personal favorites on this playlist:

rose:

i'm born to run by american authors

space girl by frances forever

day & night by billie piper

walk backwards by maude latour

astronomy by conan gray

everything changes in time by madds buckley

martha:

have you met miss jones? by frank sinatra

marsha, thankk you for the dialectics, but i need you to leave by will wood

the fall by half-alive

twenty twelve by matt maeson

canary in a coal mine by the crane wives

against the kitchen floor by will wood

donna:

at my back by madds buckley

the mountain song by tophouse

move me by half-alive

h.s by tom cardy

pompeii by bastille

the frost by mitski

other:

scrawny by wallows

cicada days by will wood

time and i by jukebox the ghost

flight of the crows by jhariah

wave after wave by sleeping at last

inertia by ajr

[xivymoonartx]

✨ Emoji Commission for @veiledbyart ✨

[a-b-riddle]

Part Three

Warning: If you don't like Taylor Swift, you're not gonna like this chapter that much, homie. But So Long, London is so fitting for this drabble series. (I guess a series since it's longer than a drabble at this point)

Can’t stop thinking about reader just trying to move on

You had to remind yourself several times not to check in with the guys. It had almost become second nature doing something big like this. But going to another country…

Not that they would care. You told yourself. It was for the best that way.

The expo went better than you expected. You didn’t believe that there would be a line out the door of eager readers wanting to read your book, but you got a decent amount. More than a few told you they couldn’t wait to read it. Several asking for photos and asking questions on any future books, a spin-off or even continuing the series.

When one a particular large group of girls your age asked for a group photo, you could have cried. They were had found each other in an online book club. You had given them your book several months ago. All copies signed with a note thanking them for taking the time to read what you had poured your heart into.

You had spent a large chunk of your free time talking to them. Bonding more so as women than over your book.

"Have you listened to Taylor's new album?"

It had only been out for two days and you had been able to avoid it like the plague. You didn't need to even listen to 'So Long, London' to know it would fucking gut you. So you would enjoy your time in the states. Save the listening experience for when you were packing up their stuff.

They had posted and tagged you before continuing on with the rest of the expo. You had reposted the photo to your own social media. Or at least one attached to the pen name you had crafted. You only had twelve thousand instagram followers, but it was something.

The first day was much like the second. You had attended several Q & A sessions with a panel of more experienced authors and managed to go to a few meet and greets. Before you knew it, it was time to pack up shop.

The agent the publishing house had assigned to you had stuck with you for most of the day. You were able to pick her brain a bit about new ideas for possible future plot lines and her thoughts. Overall, the trip was great.

Not only were you able to make great connections and take a lot back home with you to reference, but for a few days you forgot what waited for you back home. Or rather what wasn't waiting for you.

By the time your plane landed back in London you could barely hold yourself up. You left the expo, went straight to the hotel to shower, pack and head to the airport.

Your flight was delayed. Your luggage was taking forever to get onto the belt. It was only seven, but fuck if you weren’t ready to just call it a day. Tomorrow you would have to start again. Opening up the shop. Coming back to an empty flat. Maybe start gathering up the items the boys had left behind.

Should you give them in separate boxes or just one giant one and let them sort it out themselves? It was easy to discern whose sweatshirt and t-shirts belonged to who, but when it got to things like socks and chargers...

Yeah.

They could sort it themselves.

You could drop it off at Kyle's when you knew he would be at the gym. He was good at avoiding you anyway.

It wasn't until you stood in your apartment did it hit you.

You were alone.

For the first time in over a year you couldn't call one of them over to soothe that ache of loneliness.

For the first time in over a year, you had to relearn how to handle just being alone.

You usually showered at night. Washing away the grime of the day before settling into bed. But today was a new chapter. You woke up wanting to start it on a good note. Plus you went straight to bed after getting home so you still had a bit of airport funk on you.

It had been a week. One official since you had sent that text nailing the coffin shut. You had touched base with your friends who didn't bat an eye at you dating four men at once. They liked them, even if Simon scared them. You didn't give them the details of the breakup or the cause. You were pretty private in your problems and if you wanted relationship advice, you would seek an unbiased unopinion.

You had a good group of friends, but the moment you told them that you were well and truly heartbroken, they would insist the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Something you were nowhere near ready for.

So you needed to look like you had your shit together. You put on a dress that was feminine and, most importantly, comfy as fuck. An A-line floral frock paired with a light sweater and some white trainers. You knew a few of your friends would be stopping by for tea so you need to look like you were taking the separation well. Even if you were barely holding it together.

With makeup and perfume on, you started the early morning stroll to your shop.

You loved openings. Starting up the register and selecting the playlist for today. Picking out the essential oil to put in the diffuser even though you mostly stuck with a lavender and vanilla blend during the spring months.

For the morning you stuck with a Taylor Swift Instrumental playlist you had found initially for studying, but you liked the peaceful feeling it brought. Even when it covered the most gut wrenching songs.

You had started to collect the online orders that had accumulated over the last week. Sending out the e-mails alerting to your patrons that their orders were ready for pick up. Luckily you weren't set to receive a delivery until tomorrow.

It was eight and everything was set. Although not many people came to a bookstore at eight in the morning, it really didn't bother you opening up that early considering you were the only employee that was on the payroll. It gave you the possibility of making money, but mostly you spent the morning reading or writing.

You flipped the sign over from CLOSED to OPEN. Ready to start take on the day.

You had turned the kettle on in the back room when your friends had stopped by around lunch. You always said it was just tea, but you always had an array of snacks on standby for you all to munch on.

Meredith was complaining about what a dick the new client at the law firm was being. An absolute slime who had been married to his wife for almost twenty-five years before he decided to fuck his twenty-two year old assistant.

Tabitha didn't want to talk about work. To her, her career in tech was just a paycheck. She did what she needed to do and left when she was done.

You talked about the expo and how your book. Although neither of them really read, they had promised that they would read your book. You didn't hold your breath. They had reposted your posts as well as making ones of their owns in celebration of you. Words of praise about your dedication and hard work.

You realized that even though they couldn't give you the support you needed as readers, they supported you blindly. You could have written absolute garbage, but they would still support you.

You talked about how many people liked your book and wanted pictures and to sign their copies.

Then came the question you had been rehearsing since you had texted them a week ago. They both shared a look before Meredith finally asked.

"How are you holding up?" You gave a half-smile and a shrug. So perfectly rehearsed in your head you were ready to deliver your lies lines.

"I'm fine," you lied. "It was just fading so there isn't much of a difference, I guess." Not necessarily a lie. "We just wanted different things and were on different paths in life." Not a lie. "It's for the best." You weren't sure if that last one was a lie or not just yet.

They both shared a passing look before returning their gazes back to you. "You know you can come to us about this stuff." Tabitha's hand reached across the table, placing a hand on top of yours.

"It wasn't going to work out." You added. "Situations like that don't and I should have known better."

"A situation?" Meredith asked. "When have you ever called it a situation?"

"It always was one."

"I love you enough to call bullshit." She raised her eyebrow at you, crossing her arms over her chest. "You loved them and you need to stop pretending this is easy."

"You're a divorce lawyer, Mere," You reminded. "You see marriages fall apart every day."

"I do. I get to see from across the table how a woman is still willing to take her cheating arse of a husband back. So the fact that you went from on cloud nine with all of them to not even talking about the break up is concerning to say the least."

"Tabitha," you looked at your only ally left. "A little back up would be nice."

"I'm with her on this one." She confirmed. "You loved them. Not that I cared, but if you weren't talking about books or the shop, you were talking about them. What you did, where you went. How they fucked you."

"I think I'll miss that part the most." Mere sighed. "I lived vicariously through you."

"You know you could actually date people." Tabitha suggested.

"I'd rather live with chronic carpal tunnel than a man." You almost choked on your tea. If you were wearing pearls you would have used the comedic relief of clutching them to break the awkwardness of the current topic of conversation.

"That should be put on a t-shirt." You suggested

"I wouldn't mind it on a welcome mat to be honest." Tabitha added.

"But in all seriousness, cut this bullshit." Meredith gave you an sympathetic smile. "We're here. Good, bad and ugly."

You returned her smile. "I know."

You had closed up shop for the evening. Your lunch had gone longer than expected so now you were left doing the dishes and clean up during closing. You were setting the last cup on the drying rack when you heard the front door chime.

Shit.

You must have forgotten to lock the door when you turned the sign.

“I’m sorry!” You apologized, making your way out of the back break area and to the front of the store. “We’re-”

“Closed.” He said, locking the door behind him. “I saw the sign.”

[sakumz]

Hii! I really like your writing style, would you be interested in writing a headcanon or scenario about a man in ZZZ acting a bit possessive toward his partner, if you don’t mind?

a/n : hellooo and I'm sorry it took awhile to write this (wanted to post on vdays but I forgot) hehe

____________________________________________

[ wise, lighter, harumasa x fem reader ]

____________________________________________

--- wise

he can't help but feel a little jealous when he sees you, his beloved be a little LITTLE too touchy with his lovely sister. why are you patting her head when she's done something good? must you really give her hugs too when you say goodbye? are you dating her or him?

today. he just can't stand TODAY! he was supposed to be having movie night at your home, why is belle here? she said she'll help bring over snacks and be done with it. someone's gotta handle the store, you know yet she's here, yapping mid way through the movies and even feeding you popcorn. he leans closer to you. heck you can even hear his breathing if you focus a little more on him. just as he's about to drape an arm over to your shoulders, you stand up.

" what's wrong? " belle asks as you grab the now empty bowl on her lap.

" it's almost half empty and we're barely halfway through the movie. I'm gonna get more popcorn, just stay put you two! " wise sighs heavily as you disappear into the kitchen.

" why are you doing this? " wise heaves a huff as belle tries not to laugh. has he caught on?

" because I like her- "

" she's my woman you know! I got to her first. "

" but she clearly likes me more, " as you walk back to your spot.

you were pulled into a hug, your bowl falling flat as your brain malfunctions.

" no she doesn't like you as much as me! she's mine. " he hugs you tighter as the room falls eerily quiet.

" of course I like you as much as her, what's wrong? " belle and you can't help but burst out laughing.

" then why do you keep- " you turn to kiss him, pulling away quickly as belle snaps a photo of wise flustered face.

" you don't have to be so possessive over me, I'm yours you know. " you smile as wise hugs you once more, burying his face in your hair to hide his smile.

--- lighter

" come on sweetheart, I'll treat you a hundred times better than that red scarf, " the man next to you stirs as you giggle.

lighter took you to this random bar after a long motorcycle ride. who would've thought a few minutes of talking about your day to a stranger would lead to him hitting you up.

you feel lighter's shoulders tremble a little, next thing you know. more sweet words spilled from the drunken guy led to the glass lighter was gripping hard to shatter.

" aw look at what sunglasses did, he splashed a little on your dress. here let me wipe- " the man took the serviette, ready to pat your dress dry as lighters hand came flying towards his own.

" I'll handle this and I'm sorry for your dress. " he takes the serviette from the man and wipes the part he ruined. his frown visible.

" see sweetheart, I'll treat you a hundred times- "

" better than me, but I'll punch you a hundred times to get it through your thick skull that she's not interested. " lighter spat as both you and the drunken man were left speechless. the man couldn't help but run with his tail between his legs.

" thank you for that but you know, a hundred is countable and my love for you is so much more than that. " you kiss his cheek as his sunglasses fall slightly from the bridge of his nose, exposing his shock filled green eyes.

--- harumasa

who would have thought harumasa would ever have a stand off with his long awaited rival. your possessive cat.

must your cat really stick by your side the moment you come home? he's there as you make dinner, eat (the cat sits on an empty vacant seat), crash on your couch, bed and when you go to the toilet? must he really wait outside...

harumasa sighs as he watches the cat follow you like a lost child. when you make dinner and press a kiss to your cats head. dont think harumasa missed the part where you steal pieces of meat and feed it to that cat!

" come on, can't I cuddle my girlfriend? " he spat at the cat as he pulls away from the hug and your cat is quick to steal a spot on your lap.

" just let my baby be, you don't see me complaining when your cat acts needy to you. "

" that's because she NEVER acts needy! " he points an accusing finger at you as you laugh.

to say the least, he really hates your boy cat. when you arrive at H.A.N.D with your cat in a carrier, why did nobody stop or toss your cat out? you said you've just collected him from the vet during your break and everyone was fine with it.

why did soukaku release your cat from the carrier? your cat was sitting on his seat, right next to you as miyabi and soukaku pats and compliments how well behaved and adorable he is. yanagi couldn't help but laugh when a co worker said your cat would've been a better partner than harumasa himself. WHAT!?

" CAT! your mother is my woman and you're second place in her heart, get it in your little fur brain or I'll just have to make you! " he grabs the cat, glaring directly as your cat gave the most nonchalant uncaring look to him.

" he's just a cat, don't get jelly. " soukaku says as she pulls the cat away from him.

" I am not jealous! " he spits.

" don't be possessive then, " miyabi says from behind him as he slumps on his chair.

" you're number one in my heart so dont worry about a cat. he won't replace you, besides. we already made plans for a vacation so you won't feel the presence of that cat for a week, " you rub circles on his hand as a faint smirk tugs at his lips.

[hypno-matt]

Taking Notes

CW: Spirals, Edging

This morning I was talking to @mastern3ro about my love of spirals, especially being made to watch one and then post about just how blank it made you feel.

So I decided to turn that concept into an even better one.

The task I was given for this was simple. Watch a spiral for 20 minutes while repeating the phrase "I'm a needy hypnotoy." Very basic.

The fun part, however, was that i decided to track howni was doing every few minutes, in order to properly show what a sub goes through when they spend such time staring.

I figured I could use the Notes App to record how I felt every now and then, while using my PC to do all the heavy hypno-lifting.

I sat down at my desk, and put on my favourite spiral from an array of almost a dozen, pairing it with a nice looping set of binaurals.

I pressed play, and began taking notes.

"Minute 1: The spiral is pretty and the binaural is great but nothing too far out of the ordinary so far.

Succint and to the point. As every great piece of information should be.

Nothing had really happened yet, besides me starting to repeat my mantra, very quickly finding a rythm that did not require much effort on my part.

I continued staring for couple of minutes, unaware of what was going to happen down the line.

"Min. 3: mm it feels nice, its hard to focus on the spiral, the hournal, the repeatimg amd the audio. It feels lile im cinfusimg himself ><

Im a needy hyonotoy.."

And here i had encountered my first problem. I had uknowingly overwhelmed myself. The audio, the video, the repetition and the note-taking were fine on their own, but too taxing for my brain combined.

I couldn't really stop now though, I didn't want to give up on this idea so soon. Besides, this overloading, while tiring, felt pretty great.

I had to keep going.

"Min 5;

I aasumed a better position, my legs sprea andd my baxk hucnhed iver. Hunchedf. Over? Is that how you sau it? Theres so much to keep track of and my brrtain is laggign.. i thinkk

Ik. A needy hypnoyy :)"

My brain was lagging. But it felt amazing. Arousing, even. So much so that i had decided to sink into my chair and spread my legs a little.

The overloading factor of this task was in full effect. It was already hard to remember to do everything. To listen, to stare, to repeat and to jot down what i was feeling. My voice began to trail off, the cadence that i had built up going away almost immediately.

"7: i gott caught up in takimg photos thw light of the apirall is so prettty ans so is my facee"

Just after the 5th minute I had noticed how adorable I looked. How relaxed my body was, and how much my eyes were fluttering.

Plus, the light from the spiral was coloring my otherwise dark room in warm pinks and purples. I would have been a fool if i didn't take a few photos, even it if overloaded me more.

"10:ii look so pretyyy im drooling..

Im turned on the lighht so i can photo myssefl"

By this point, my mantra had escaped my mouth, now only occupying space in my quickly fading mind.

I lazily turned on the light, ready to look at myself again, only to realize that the spiral was all i needed right now.

I was halfway through. I had to stare.

"12: toyyy neewdyyt wdsgiunggg rewlwqttong is aurkmaric drooolimgg"

Toy was needy,edging and relaxing. Drooling automatically, my thoughts slowly leaking out.

When did i start edging? Or touching at all really? I had forgotten, but i did not care.

"13 ddrrooollinng ii sshhoyld kbeell.

Oii ttottyyy"

What was once "I'm a needy hypnotoy" became reduced to "I'm toy". Maybe I took "succint" too far.

It didn't really matter though. Toy had to kneel. It's what seemed most proper. It's what seemed the hottest. It had to be done.

"15 beeetyer onn. Mym kenes

Im aneedy hypnotttoot im soo good"

Toy felt better on its knees. I felt so happy, so empty, my blank face more apparent now than ever.

Toy was beggining to become completely broken.

"17 mmfmcm imm so bbapnk imm a needy hoypnotoy

I forgot ot repeatt

Mmy mouutu iiis so drooollyy.."

After a few minutes of looking at itself through its phone's camera, toy realized that he had forgot his mantra.

Its mouth was occupied with drooling. It didn't have the brainppwer to do anything else.Toy went even blanker as he stared so intently at the spiral and himself.

"18 mminnn ttook liiikeww nn hoyrr"

The 18th minute did feel like an hour. Toy's mind couldn't really grasp time anymore. It was almost there, just 2 minutes left, but the time felt like it took ages.

Toy didn't mind. It loved staring. Listening. Drooling. Taking notes.

Toy obeyed.

"220000 oiikmm gonnww

Ttoyyy

.........."

And just like that, toy was gone. Its mind completely cleaned out, its body relaxed. It finished its task, and it felt great.

Toy closed its computer, and went to bed, repeating the words "needy hypnotoy" to itself until its mind returned about 45 mins later..

It had a great idea to write all this down. Just reading through, seeing the reactions and remembering them fully, it makes toy drop all over again.

I'm a needy hypnotoy. Please use me.

[hazza3000]

No rizz just constant yapping - Stiles Stilinski

main masterlist Teen wolf masterlist

I'm not too sure how to feel about this one but it's been sat in my drafts for so long I finally decided to post it, let me know how you feel!

---

Stiles can't stop staring. He's not going to say he has a problem, he does, but he just can't help himself. She's always been there, so effortlessly beautiful and kind to everyone, she was never like Lydia who made fun of him before becoming friends she's always been nice and there for him.

Even though stereotypically she shouldn't be considering she hangs out with Lydia, Jackson and Danny but she never stopped speaking to them. It always used to be the three of you against the world and when high school came and friendship groups changed although you hung out with Lydia's group you never stopped talking to them, showing up to hang outs and inviting them to the parties you threw.

Before he may have stood a chance with saying something but instead in his brain he thought it would be easier to make up this crush on Lydia which he regrets now but hey, young teenage him didn't understand it and when he decided as a young freshman was the year to admit it to you, you started hanging out with Lydia's group. 

Now with the supernatural infiltrating your lives, you still somehow smile, when Scott was bit you believed Stiles that he was a werewolf, heck you were out in the woods with them. He likes you, so much, yet you, kind you just see him as a friend.

"Dude your jaw is literally going to fall off" Scott states looking at his best friend with an eye roll, it's always the same thing.

Stiles doesn't hear him to start off with watching as you walk through the hallway, walk feels like an understatement it's more of a strut, confidence and perfection rolling off you. Stiles can't tear his eyes away from the short skirt that rests high up on your thighs, the tight top, the flawless curls. Perfection to describe you is an understatement.

Your face in what almost seems to be a pout soon changes when you spot them stood down the hall, a wide smile breaks out on your pretty lips as you immediately make a beeline over to them. Your heels click on the floor whilst Stiles stares, a goofy grin forming on his face, love struck eyes taking over his expression, puppy love with so much more meaning than any one of the boys could comprehend.

"Hey guys" your sultry voice makes the hallway go silent; all Stiles can focus on is you.

"Hey, hi, how’s your day going" Stiles rambles, stumbling over his words as he attempts to act casual but fails miserably.

In an attempt to save himself from embarrassment he tries to lean against his lockers, trying to perfect the cool guy façade. However, he forgot his locker door is open so instead of his elbow meeting the locker it meets empty space causing him to trip and almost fall headfirst. Your arms move before your mind can comprehend as you catch him from falling, a gasp falling from your lips startled at how clumsy your friend can be.

"Are you okay?" your voice asks startled as you grip him tighter feeling him almost fall from your grasp.

Stiles cringes and groans both internally and externally, yet again he’s made a fool of himself in front of you. The one person who he wishes to impress, the one person who he wishes would see his looks for what they are. Everyone else around them knows that he is totally in love with you, but you, you remain oblivious at this point he can’t tell if it’s on purpose because your too nice to reject him or whether you really are this clueless.

"Smooth, real smooth" Isaac murmurs, feeling pained for him, I mean it's hard to watch.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm great even better now" Stiles stammers standing up straight.

A frown etches across his face as he feels you remove your hands from his shoulders, his body aches for your touch, yearning for you to give him your undivided attention. He goes to say something when his eyes land on the little pink slips in your hands, dusted with glitter and black cursive writing in the middle, invitations his brain eventually supplies.

A ridiculously high IQ slashed too nothing in your presence, really, he should be tested or maybe medicated but the only medication he can stomach is you.

"Now what are those, pretty lady?" Isaac asks causing Stiles to scowl, he doesn't like his tone.

Stiles has never been particularly fond of Isaac; the sassy wolf having caused a lot of problems for Stiles in the beginning, but hatred begins mixing with the jealousy in his stomach at the easy flirtation that comes from the blond beta. Every time he’s around you; he flirts in a way that Stiles wishes he can possess.

Stiles is a smart man but when it comes to you, he doesn’t think, and he most certainly doesn’t hesitate. His hand reaches for his bag itching for the wolfsbane inside, only for emergencies, Deaton told him, and Stiles can promise that it will be an emergency if Isaac doesn’t stop flirting with you. His anger gets put to a standstill at your wide smile taking over the concerned expression that was once there, excitement his brain supplies.

"Oh, their invitations for a party after the lacrosse game tonight" your excitement is contagious, and he isn't the only one who feels it noticing how the rest of his friends begin beaming.

You begin handing out an invite to each of them before stopping at Isaac and giving him four, the blonde wolf frowns at you about to question. Scott smiles widely like a puppy, immediately thanking you. Once again, you’ve turned the mood around knowing that every one of them needs a bit of fun after dealing with the latest big bad.

"Thanks, it'll be nice for everyone to cool off a bit" the teen wolf says with a beaming smile, one of the only parties he's ever been consistently invited to, even before the bite was yours.

"There's one for you, Erica, Boyd and Derek if he wants to come. I haven't seen the others all day, but I wanted them to feel included. Oh, and tell Erica that she can come earlier with the rest of the girls to get ready" you explain, and what could only be described as heart eyes take over Isaacs face.

The way you effortlessly include everyone, not wanting anyone to feel left out or sad, no matter what. It's one of the reasons Derek was a lot nicer to you, your too nice for your own good. Its why Stiles gets so protective over you, it's like you couldn't see evil unless it smacked you in the face, not that he’d ever let that happen.

"Thank you, I'm sure they'd appreciate it" Isaac says, not sure how he's going to tell Derek he's been invited to a party.

Isaac's grin is wide, he's never really had a friend like her before, someone who can invite anyone in with open arms. She was one of the only people when Lydia rejected him to speak up and ask him if he was okay before walking him out. She's a soft spot for the whole pack.

"They don't have to come of course, but I want everyone to be included. Oh, shoot I have to get to class, I'll see you guys later" you wave your hand about to leave before Stiles jolts into action, well with a smack on the back from Scott.

"I can walk you, if you like? I mean we have the same class, and I thought—" Stiles begins rambling not knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

"Yeah, that would be nice" you say cutting him off with a finger to his lips.

He clumsily packs his bag not wanting to keep you waiting before leaving the other two wolves who just shake their heads at him. It's tragic, the way he fails at every interaction, his constant yapping and quite obvious pining, it's painful to watch.

"If Stiles doesn't snatch her up soon, I might have to swoop in" Isaac comments earning a smack from Scott as the two wolves leave shaking their head at the scene—

Said scene being Stiles walking close to you as he begins talking your ear off about something. Your smiles wide as you listen to him intently never one to cut him off and quite happy to listen as it’s usually something interesting. Never one to cut anyone off, always there to listen… your too sweet.

--

Erica, Lydia, and Allison came back to your house after school to get ready for the lacrosse game and party afterwards and although it was awkward to begin with conversation soon started to flow between the four of you. Cocktails and smiles before the big game tonight, they helped you set up for the party later, parents away as always makes for a lot of parties at your house.

"Here I got you something" Allison says pulling a jersey out of her bag and handing it to me.

I frown looking at the number fourteen on the back and the words Stilinski etched in the top. It's normally the girlfriends of the players that wear the jerseys and I'm about to tell her as much when Lydia cuts of my train of thoughts.

"Come on, just wear it. We're all wearing lacrosse shirts, and we didn't want you to feel left out. Plus, it's clean, Scott washed it before giving it to her" Lydia states nudging the shirt closer to me.

"Did you ask him? What if he gets offended with me wearing it?" I ask with a hint of confusion in my voice.

Erica just shakes her head with a laugh Boyd's jersey clinging to her chest, considering she made me put about a hundred pins in the back just so it would fit her. My frown deepens at her laugh, curious if I said something wrong.

"Trust me, honey. He will be far from offended" Erica says, so I agree with a shrug pulling it on as the girls help me style it too my outfit, whilst their scheming continues.

I can’t see any harm in it if Stiles doesn’t mind, it doesn’t take us long to finish getting ready before heading over to the school. We promised the boys that we’d meet them on the lacrosse field whilst they warm up for the game. Scott waves us over with a happy smile, immediately coming over to Allison and telling her how pretty she is, puppy love it’s adorable.

Stiles, Isaac and Jackson on the other hand seem deep in some form of debate. After hearing Scott speak up Stiles turns and his jaw practically falls of his face, his eyes glaze and his cheeks turn pink. Hunger is evident in his gaze as he looks over the jersey that’s hung over my figure. 

When Scott had told him that he’d given his jersey to a girl, Stiles was furious ranting and raving at the thought of you now thinking that he had a girlfriend because some random girl was wearing his jersey. He should’ve have known that his best friend wouldn’t have done that and now his anger with Scott turns to amazement, he could kiss the man.

“Hey guys” I say with a wide grin, walking over carefully so my heels don’t sink to much in the grass.

“Hey” Stiles says too dumbstruck to stumble on his words.

He’s barely able to focus with you wearing his jersey, HIS. A possessive feeling surges through his chest as he thinks about the other students believing he has some claim over you, it almost feels like he does as well, his imagination runs wild as his lacrosse shorts begin tightening. He needs to cool it and quick.

“Sorry about the jersey, you can have it back after—” I attempt to apologise wondering why he’s so quiet.

Stiles is never one to be quiet, he’s known for his sarcasm and inability to shut up so if seeing me in his jersey has made him go silent, he’s probably too nice to say that a boundary has been crossed. I wouldn’t want to upset him, and I would over to take off but I’m not wearing anything underneath. 

Isaac and Jackon on the other hand shake their heads, confused on how you can be so oblivious. Jackson is convinced that your just taking pity on Stiles and not wanting to upset him by rejection and he told Stiles as much before you came over hence a debate occurring whilst Isaac believed that you may like someone else, like him, and your too sweet to say anything as you don’t want to upset Stiles.

“No, it’s fine it looks better on you anyway, you should keep it” Stiles blurts out, not even thinking about his words or the implications of them.

His face turns bright red as his brain catches up with his mouth realising that his lack of filter has once again messed it up with you. He wants to take it back but is scared he’ll make himself look more of a dickhead. However, when your laughter plagues his ears, he can’t even form words.

“Thanks, Sti” I say with a beaming smile, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Stiles has to bite back a groan, his knees suddenly feel weak and is it hot out here. You pull back a glossy stain staying on his cheek which he refuses to wipe off, he’s never washing his face again, he’s decided. He hears Jackson snort behind him as his brain comes back online but before he can shout at him the sound of a whistle cuts through the pitch.

Coach. The conversation comes to an abrupt end as coach appears hollering at the boys to come to the field for his usual pep talk which has definitely been stolen from a movie and it always ends with him telling them to win. We bid the boys a goodbye before making our way over to the stands by the bench.

Not too long after that the lacrosse game begins, the game is rough brutal teenagers being hit off here and there the bench becoming sparser as injuries make their rounds. We’ve been neck and neck the entire game. Stiles is sat on the bench anxiously having a bad feeling about this, it almost seems supernatural the way players are being knocked about. 

Stiles startles as a hand is placed on his shoulder, looking up to see you smiling encouragingly being able to sense his nerves from behind him. The lacrosse glove falls from his lips as he stares at you for a little longer than what’s socially acceptable, he even seems to miss as another player gets sent off.

“Stilinski, you’re up” Coach hollers at him but Stiles was too busy staring at me to be able to comprehend his words.

“What?” Stiles questions turning to look at coach confused as to why he’s talking to him, he never talks to the bench warmers. 

“Do you want to play or—” Coach attempts to rant but gets cut off by me as I stand up nudging Stiles, assuming his lack of words his down to nerves.

“He wants to play don’t you, Sti” I say nudging him forwards, as the words seem to register in his brain his eyes widen.

“Yeah, play in the game, yeah” Stiles jumps off the bench, the supernatural world leaving his brain as he jogs on the pitch.

“Go, Stiles” I cheer loudly, his cheeks turning red as he covers them with his helmet.

The game continues the same for a little while until the last ten minutes. Stiles manages to get the ball, he seemingly stares at it for a moment shock from the fact that he just caught it, he doesn’t run he just stares momentarily.

“Stiles run” I scream loudly, the others on the Beacon Hills side screaming at him as well cheering him on as he finally takes off into a sprint.

And somehow ends up scoring the winning goal, the crowd goes wild as the whistle blows signalling the end of the game as we win, with only one goal ahead. Scott and Boyd immediately run over launching him in the air as the other players pat him on the back cheering celebrating the win. 

Family and friends on the stands rush onto the field getting ready to celebrate as coach screams cheering the win. Stiles is beaming with pride, having the moment he has always dreamed of come true feels amazing. I run straight over to him getting ready to celebrate and as soon as his feet hit the ground, he looks around for me, taking his helmet off to help him see better.

He watches as I rush over to him beaming and he picks me up without a second thought, I a girlish shrill leaves my lips as he spins me around happily. He hardly notices Scott and Allison behind him, or the other players jostling us around he has me in his arms and he played in an actual lacrosse game, not only that he scored the winning goal! 

“You did it!” I exclaim excitedly a wide smile etched onto my lips as I pull back to look at him.

“Yeah, I guess I did” Stiles says a matching grin on his face.

It’s only then that he notices the proximity, our faces are close together, foreheads practically touching, his jersey clinging to my figure and before he can think about it, he leans forwards closing the gap. His lips find mine without even thinking about what he’s done, it was too easy it wasn’t his fault, and this wasn’t a part of his six-year plan.

A startled gasp falls from my lips as our mouth’s connect, shock written across my face. Stiles hearing this noise immediately pulls away about to apologise, fearing that he’s ruined everything that he’s rushed into this without even asking. Before he can even speak, I grab the back of his neck and pull him in again, my lips connoting with his in a more passionate kiss.

My legs wrap around his waist, my nails raking through his hair as we spend a few minutes wrapped up in bliss. Stiles is in a haze not believing that this is the end to his already perfect night, he finally got the girl. The girl of his dreams, the girl he’s been dreaming about for ten years, and nothing can stop him now.

Hollering breaks, us apart eventually, the team seemingly whooping and cheering as we pull apart, but Stiles isn’t ready for this to end. His lips immediately begin chasing mine eagerly, he’s finally got his moment he doesn’t want anyone else to spoil it.

“Stiles” I whisper, placing my hand on his cheek as he grins at me dopily.

“Yeah” he responds voice hoarse, his forehead moving to rest against mine once again.

“Later” I say placing one last kiss to his lips before jumping down.

His brain finally catches up and his jaw drops slightly at the implication as I begin walking away over to Allison and Lydia before he can question what I mean. Scott and Isaac come over shoving him in congratulations as the rough housing begins, happy that their friend both one the game and got his girl simultaneously.

“You finally did it” Scott exclaims excitedly, and Stiles can’t help but grin.

“Yeah, I did” Stiles replies with the same smile he’s had on his face since he won the game, watching as I talk with the girls.

“I can’t believe you had it in you” Isaac states, looking over at us and Stiles is about to retort snarkily when my voice breaks through.

“Stiles, are you coming?” I ask, calling over to them as Allison makes her way too Scott, all of us about to leave to head to mine for the real party to begin.

“Always” Stiles responds without even thinking, immediately walking over picking his helmet up on the way.

We naturally split off into couples, none of us even thinking about it, completely natural. Stiles is a nervous wreck as we make our way over to the jeep, his hands clammy and before he can stop himself, he asks the question he needs to know the answer too.

“You know I really like you, right?” Stiles asks, earning a snort from me as I turn to face him.

My back presses against the Jeep’s passenger side, as I pull him forward by his jersey his lips caressing mine once again, I run my finger down his jaw before allowing it to dip over his torso nails scraping in their wake.

“I do now” I say, leaning forwards to place a kiss on his lips. 

It turns out Stiles can get his dream girl, and good things do happen in Beacon Hills, even too human boys like him that have zero flirting skills and are all talk. And let’s just say if the windows are steamed up and they both arrive at the party late, no one says anything…

Well at least not until the morning as it was her party after all.

[scoobysnakz]

i am genuinely so sorry for disappearing for a while. things have been hectic with family and school and stuff and i forgot how tumblr works for a while too but ive got seveal drafts nearly done to be posted soon !!! but again i am so sorry !! (not proofread so i am so sorry)

loser miguel who pulls you into the nearest storage room, large hands hungrily gripping your waist. he’s hasty to lock the door behind the two of you, somehow managing to simultaneously keep the kiss going. his hands greedily roam around your body, lingering on every peek and curve as if he’s trying to memorise the feeling of you.

it reeks of damp and you’re certain you saw something moving on the floor but you couldn’t care less.

he’s unsure of how it happened; all he knows is that you pulled away from the hug and smiled up at him with those soft pouty and lips and suddenly the only thing his brain could focus on was how pretty they’d looked wrapped around his cock.

loser miguel who presses you against the wall, not caring for the mop he just knocked onto the floor, you kiss him too sweetly for him to pay attention to anything else.

he pants heavy breaths against your neck as his lips trail down towards the collar of your shirt. “gonna be a good chica?” he questions.

you whine a compliant yes and that’s all the permission he needs before sliding down to his knees. his hands are quick to unbutton your jeans and letting them drop to your ankles.

loser miguel who’s thumb slowly traces circles around the wet patch directly above your clit. “wet from a few kisses?” he teases, smirking as you scowl distastefully down at him.

he keeps a slow, purposefully teasing pace, revelling in the tiny whines that weasel through your tightly pursed lips.

“don’t be like that,” he scolds lightly, “let me hear you.”

loser miguel who is knuckle deep in your cunt. his long fingers being this skilled shouldn’t surprise you, you’ve always assumed miguel’s had plenty of practice pleasing other women but the things he’s making you experience right now… it feels almost blasphemous.

every fibre of your being is thrumming with pleasure, your breathy moans vouching for it. his fingers repeatedly curl up into that sweet spongey spot deep inside that makes you shudder and the way he’s praising you for it has both your stomach and cunt fluttering.

loser miguel who stares at your dripping folds with with wide, almost hungry, eyes. his mouth waters as he wonders how sweet you taste, how long he could live off on your taste and needy moans alone.

he presses a teasing kiss to your weeping bud that makes your hips instantly jolt upwards. “patience is virtue,” he says before pulling his fingers out of you.

you feel hopelessly empty now. his thick fingers had stretched you out so well, given you a feeling of fullness no man has before.

“please,” you whine, hands feebly reaching for his own and trying to redirect them back to your leaking entrance. but he pays no attention to how desperate you are for him, as hard as it makes his cock.

you can’t quite wrap your head around how he’s getting off on this. you thought he wanted this as badly as you, was equally as needy for the physical contact. yet here he is, teasing you so cruelly that you’re almost certain it’s a form of torture.

he looks you in the eye, a glint of something you can’t quite place making your heart race, and licks the tip of his finger. your breath quickens as you watch, almost sinful groans rumbling from his chest.

loser miguel who continues to make a show of licking your juices off of his fingers, revelling in your envious whines as you desperately plead for his touch.

loser miguel who has no idea how long you’ve been waiting for this too, how short your patience is when you’re on the brink of orgasm, how the carnal desire is mutual.

it’s his turn to let out a soft whimper as you firmly place your hand on the back of his head, guiding him back towards your cunt.

“miguel.” that sweet, submissive tone is gone, completely replaced by a sudden desperation to just feel him again.

your eyes bore down into him, one of the most physically intimidating men your eyes have had the pleasure gracing, and you suddenly realise who has the control here.

“make me cum.”

loser miguel who does just that. he obediently laps at your folds as his hands grip your inner thighs. his tongue circles your clit over and over, flicking your sensitive bud until you’re practically dripping onto his face.

your face burns bright at the lewd slurping sounds that fill the cramped storage cupboard. you can hear him panting heavily, the warm breath that ghosts your cunt making it twitch, and slurred mumbles of how good your juices taste.

as he picks up his speed you feel your stomach tightening. instinctively, your hands slide through his dark curls. your hips stutter forwards, pressing firmer against his face and he gladly obliges.

“cum for me, mami,” he murmurs, still hungrily devouring your cunt.

and you do just that. with a sharp inhale, your head falls back and your legs go limp. pleasure engulfs you like a hot, thick blanket as you helplessly call out his name.

it’s music to his ears, your breathy moans of his name. if he wasn’t already, he’d be growing painfully hard. he can’t get enough of it, knowing it’s because of him that you’re cumming so beautifully.

(let me know if you want to be removed) tag list: @lacedinweb22 @xxyaoi-nationxx @farrowroyale @mynamesstevenwithav @m4dyy @pinkismylife@kenz-ee @queerponcho @mcmiracles @nic-stars @ella-unenchanted04 @basedpear @rhythmloid @safixiovi @braverthanthenewworld @sad-author-san @envyjmoney @poeticmoonspirit @avatar-lover @stopxplease @lauraolar14 @straw-berry-ghoul @babygirl7777 @iluvoaldmen @stressed-cherry

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[whatswrongwithblue]

Reader does actually try to walk off a cliff and Alastor catches them and gets furious and sexy about it and pounds Vexi... I mean reader into the mattress so hard she can't walk anymore and he ends up laughing saying 'let's see you try to do that again now your legs won't work'

Beta'd by @inuhalfdemon

For my darling @redvexillum, I know you're Overtime Vexi right now; working hard on the Discord server, keeping up with daily Kinktober posts, and also literally working an IRL job. This is a no pressure gift to you. Read when you have time and need a little pick me up. I even based Reader off of your avatar on your blog and used language specifically from my favorite fic of yours . . . you know the one *wink wink*.

TRIGGER WARNINGS!: suicide ideation, suicide attempt, depression, mental illness, dissociation, possesive Alastor, Alastor owns Reader's soul, sex as punishment, angry sex, oral (fem receiving), p/v sex, shadow tendrils/tentacles, bondage, use of a gag, overstimulation, lack of aftercare, begging, dom/sub dynamic.

Falling

The warm night breeze ghosted through your hair; a gentle lover’s caress across the back of your neck. It calmed your nerves as you looked down at the drop below and you closed your eyes, thinking you could almost hear the wind telling you to take that final step.

Just one little step.

A few seconds of falling.

Then darkness. Nothing. Peace.

The wind kicked up a little harder, fanning out your wings, and nearly making you lose your balance. You gasped and flailed your arms, catching your balance before you fell.

A stupid lingering human instinct to save yourself. Your body’s nervous system fighting against what your mind desperately wanted.

You took a deep, steadying breath in, and tucked your wings in. They were tiny; pink and membranous things that seemed more for aesthetic than any kind of purpose. It’s not like you could fly with them. They were no more useful than your asymmetrical horns when it came to that skill only very few Sinners were lucky enough to have. And they weren’t even very demonic looking, as far as demon appendages went. Both your horns and your wings were pink, slightly darker shades than the pastel of your skin and hair. Even your fucking irises were pink.

While you quite loved pink as a human, it just felt insulting down in Hell. Like every other aspect of your demon visage. Useless. Infantile. Boring.

Nearly making you fall to your death by being caught in a sudden gust of hot air was the only favor your wings had ever done for you.

Not that you would permanently die, you lamented. Eventually you would re-spawn somewhere within the city. But re-spawning took hours, sometimes even days. And in that time would be nothing. When you were alive you always joked about wishing that you could just take your brain out of your skull, like a temporary death, just to quiet the awful thoughts and feelings your malfunctioning organ plagued you with day and night.

Here in Hell, you could actually do that. Again and again, if you so chose to.

All you had to do was jump.

Maybe it wasn’t worth it. When you came back, Alastor would certainly hunt you down and find you. And you could just see the disappointment in his face. Hear the disgust in his voice. How lowly he would think of his darling then, that she would perform such an empty and pathetic act.

But then again, he was going to find out who you were at your core eventually. Better to rip the bandage off and make him face just how truly damaged you were before you continued to waste his time further. He was bound to get tired of pulling you out of your depressed funks after enough time had gone by. And what good did you bring to his life anyway?

You were a distraction.

He had snapped that to you earlier that evening when you had interrupted his work at the hotel. Those last stinging words echoed through your mind, branding themselves into your grey matter so that you never forgot them.

Well, you wouldn’t be distracting him anymore after this stunt. He wouldn’t bother with you afterwards.

And if you found you really did enjoy the nothingness that came between death and re-spawning, the extermination wasn’t far away. All you had to do was stand in front of an exorcist and simply not move as they brought their blade down on you. Then it would truly be an eternity of peace and quiet for you.

No more distractions.

The thought came to you bitterly as you considered that Alastor was the one who had been distracting you. All these months of his attention, of him making you his darling, of him making you fall in love with him, had just distracted you for a while. But now the pain was back, worse than ever, with one small argument between you two and you realized if it wasn’t for him, you likely would have jumped off this roof months ago.

You could have let it all go during the last extermination, while everyone else was huddled safely inside the hotel.

What a waste of time. A useless, boring, distracting life.

A deep breath. A single tear sliding down your cheek. A last thought of warmth and safety whispering through your mind . . .

“Alastor.”

His name left your lips like a prayer and an apology.

You took a step over the ledge.

The street below became your entire field of view as you lost your footing entirely.

And then the world glitched.

Colors blended in choppy formation and static screamed in your ears, threatening to burst your ears drums. Everything was fuzzy and going dark and a strange tingling filled your body, like your very blood had turned to static.

And then you were back on your own two feet, standing face to chest with the red and black pinstriped suit you knew so well.

Unnaturally large claws had you by the shoulders and you tilted your head up, taking in the full view of a very angry Radio Demon.

Alastor towered over you, his antlers spread wide, his eyes turning like radio dials, and he lifted you up like you weighed nothing until you were face to face and your feet were dangling several feet in the air.

“What the fuck was that?” he snarled, his voice even more full of static than you were used to.

Your eyes went wide at the use of vulgarity from him. You could count with your two useless wings how many times you had heard him swear before and never had it been directed at you.

When you didn’t answer right away, he shook you, calling you by your real name rather than darling, which he never did. He demanded an answer but all you could manage was a little whimper before you broke.

Your chin quivered and you felt the swell of tears in your eyes as a sob squeezed your chest and erupted out.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out and then slowly, ever so gently, you felt yourself being lowered to the ground and then your face was pressed against the soft fabric of Alastor’s suit. His bow tie tickled the side of your face and his scent, heady with Spanish moss and cypress, and some other uniquely Earthy smell that was entirely him, filled your senses.

“Darling,” he said quietly, “my darling . . . why?”

You could barely breath through your sobs, let alone speak, so it took you a moment to gather the strength to answer. Clutching at the back of his jacket, you pressed your face into him harder, trying to hide your reasoning, bury your shame, pretend like every pathetic part of you didn’t exist.

But he had seen, hadn’t he? He had watched you take that step, had come up here to find you and seen that final microsecond when there was nothing but air between you and the ground below.

And he had altered reality to bring you back to him. To save you.

Half of you hoped that meant he really did love you like you loved him. Like he promised every day that he did, even though you never quite believed it.

The other half of you whispered an insipid little lie that was too tempting to not consider  . . . that this whole stunt of yours was just another distraction.

“I don’t want to be a bother anymore,” you finally whispered, hiccupping and choking as you struggled to speak.

Alastor went stiff around you, and you thought then that he would finally push you away. Agree that you really were just a bother. That if he were to ever shackle himself to another soul, it certainly wouldn’t be to such a weak little wretch as yourself.

Instead, his long, clawed fingers grasped you by your chin, forcing you to look up at him. And though his expression was often hard to read, the strain in his smile showed anger while the burning in his ruby eyes showed pain.

“What gave you the idea that you could do such a thing? That I would allow it?”

“Wha . . . what?”

“You’re mine now, darling.” He pulled on your chin, forcing you on tip toe as he brought your face closer to him. “You belong to me and I don’t let what belongs to me just fly away. It seems you have forgotten that.”

His claws were digging into your cheeks and along your jaw line, stinging and threatening, even as he brought his lips down and gave you the gentlest kiss on the forehead.

 

“Perhaps I need to remind you of that,” he whispered to you, his voice low and tender, crackling with a passion you couldn’t misplace. He was angry, you realized, oh yes he was furious with you. But as the world went fuzzy once again, and you felt the familiar sensation of melting into shadow, and your soul blended with his, you could literally feel that burning rage inside of him being twisted and morphed into more direct emotions. Lust and desire filled what was left of your identity as Alastor transported you through the ceiling and walls of the hotel and into your room.

Now this was flying.

Alastor had sat you at the foot of your bed, making quick work of removing your underwear, lifting your pleated skirt above your hips, and kneeling before you, all before you had come down from the bizarre and disorienting high of being nothing but shadow with him.

Now you were reduced to a shell of a person, thoughtless and detached from your feelings and in the best of ways, as Alastor’s tongue made your nervous system aware of nothing else but the bundle of nerves between your legs.

Your knees were resting on his shoulders and already shaking as his tongue twisted and lapped at your clit, occasionally giving the swollen pearl a hard suck, as two fingers pumped into your core, working to pull a second climax from you.

Distantly you were aware of the flutter of your wings; a helpless reflex, along with the tremble of your legs. Tears streamed down your cheeks, though you paid that no mind either. Even if you had noticed them, you wouldn’t be able to place which emotion was drawing them from your eyes.

You only knew that this feeling; the intense physical sensation of Alastor turning you into a whimpering, wanton mess, allowed you to dissociate in the best of ways and everything that had tormented you to the point of standing on that cliff’s edge was completely forgotten.

The fingers of one of your hands wrapped themselves in a white-knuckled grip around his antler while your other hand found purchase in his red locks and you sobbed out his name as you came again.

Just as your walls began to clench, Alastor pulled himself from your clutches, leaving your cunt to clench needfully onto nothing. The abrupt lack of touch right at the beginning of your orgasm was torture and in his absence you pressed your legs together, searching for any friction that would allow for a fraction of the satisfaction his tongue and fingers should be giving you.  

“Now, now, dear,” Alastor tutted, and you felt your legs forced back apart. “Remember, I’m here to make a point. And that point is . . .” You looked down to see tendrils of shadows spreading your legs farther open, tangling themselves around your thighs and hips. “. . . You’re mine.” He began undoing the top of his trousers. “And  any rash decisions,” he pushed his trousers down below his waist, “like trying to jump off buildings,” he pulled his cock free and you salivated at the sight of its red and swollen tip already weeping pre-cum for you, “or pleasuring yourself without permission,” he leaned over you, his tense and wicked smile inches away from your lips as his took a painful fistful of your hair, “will be met with severe punishments.”

You swallowed, daring to meet his eyes with your own submissive, watery ones, and nodded.

“There’s my darling I know and cherish,” he said sweetly. His fingers left your hair and traced along your jaw until they came to your lips.

“And now that we’re at an understanding,” he snapped his fingers and your clothes vanished, “let’s see how well you can take your punishment.”

His cock thrust into you as black tendrils slithered their way up the rest of your nude body, pinning you in place. They teased and stroked every erogenous zone with lovely tenderness, their touch soothing and affectionate even as they forced you to near absolute stillness. In stark contrast, Alastor pounded into you, stretching you to the point of burning and igniting the still burning embers of your last orgasm that Alastor had left unfinished.

You came within seconds, your walls spasming hard against the fat width of his cock. Alastor drove on as if he hadn’t noticed, deep enough to hit the blind end of your depths with every forward thrust. The bruising combination left a dull cramp in your belly as your climax went on for several more moments, an intense combination of pleasure and pressure.   

After the quaking within your core subsided, you went limp within the clutches of the shadows. Three orgasms as intense as the ones you had just experienced were more than enough to placate your mind and body and your teary eyes now began to droop with sleepiness.

And yet Alastor was clearly not finished with you.

“Alastor,” you pleaded, knowing he still hadn’t come but you intended to beg for him to be a little gentler with you until he had. Instead of letting you speak, however; a tendril that had been near your throat laced itself through your open mouth and synched itself around your head, effectively gagging you.

The only response you got from your lover was an angry red glow of his eyes as they narrowed onto you, before he gripped your thighs with his claws and continued on with his brutal pace.

Too much, too much, too much, you internally screamed, a fresh torrent of hot tears burning down your cheeks. Your teeth sunk into the meat of the tentacle between your lips and you strained against the ones holding your wrists down to the bed.

The brutal pace of your punishment went on for several more minutes; an eternity for your overstimulated sex. Everything between your ribs and your thighs burned and ached from the ceaseless, intrusive rhythm of Alastor’s body against yours. Inside and out, he continued to savagely ravish you, until there was nothing else for you to do but begin to silently cry and take the punishment he was dolling out.

Alastor pulled out of you with a suddenness that both relieved and confused you. Your throbbing cunt ached from what it had just been through but as your eyes met his, you felt an emptiness within you. Still wrapped in tentacles, you glanced down at his glistening cock before you looked back up at the sharp tooth smile on the face of the man that you feared and loved above all else.

He still looked as pissed off as ever but there was a softness at the corner of his eyes that hinted at concern and you knew him well enough to know he was worried he might have taken things to far.

As you felt the shadow tentacles begin to loosen around you, you felt a emotion so long-forgotten you almost didn’t recognize it.

Confidence.

And with that thought, you wordlessly turned yourself around until your lay on your belly, exposing your backside and the tiny pink wings you knew Alastor loved to play with whenever he was angry.

A moment came and went and you were just beginning to wonder if you had misread the owner of your soul. You opened your mouth to speak his name once more but before you could utter a syllable, you felt your arms yanked back by the wrists and a powerful tendril wrap around your throat, holding you face down into the mattress.

The shadows that were still around your hips tightened and forcefully lifted your ass into the air and you braced yourself a second before Alastor’s cock slammed back into you, filling you back up to completion and eviscerating that feeling of emptiness.

Tired and spent as you were, you moaned aloud and squeezed his member with every last bit of strength you had within your spongey walls.  

You felt the long, slow drag of his retreating cock sliding against every sensitive bundle of nerves inside of you before another snap of Alastor’s hips had it rocketing back into you.

“Say it,” he commanded and you shuddered with your whole body, knowing what he wanted to hear.

“I’m your darling,” you replied, breathless and yet moaning again as he rewarded you with another thrust.

“And?”

“I belong to you.” He matched this thrust with a gentle stroke of a shadow across the membrane of one of your wings. “Mmmmmm, more,” you begged, as your wings gave a tiny, involuntary flap at the feather light touch.

But he had stilled behind you, waiting for your needfulness to build until you were begging.

“Please,” you sobbed out, feeling your chin quiver as all the emotions of the night came rushing back to you. “I’m sorry, Al’. I’m so sorry.”

As you spoke, the touching of your wings and the powerful movement of his cock began anew. You blabbered on, afraid if you stopped talking, the pleasant sensation of his touch within you and above you would end.

“I love you. I’ll never leave you. I’ll never even think about leaving you ever again. Not in anyway. Not even when your angry with me. Not even when I hate myself. Because I’m yours and I’ll always be yours. I’m so sorry, Alastor. Please don’t stop. Please, you feel so good. Fill me up, love. Because I’m your darling and I’ll be good from now on, please just fill me up. I’m your good girl and I love you and I want to feel you inside me. Please, please, oh God Al’, you feel so good, I’m – I’m – I-”

With a painful pull on your wrists you felt all the way into your shoulders, you felt him spill his seed within you as his body tense and every shadow of his went impossibly taut around you. The heat of his cum burned your walls and spilled down your inner thighs, coating you and marking you as his, and you came along with him, screaming into the sheets. Every tendril bruised into your skin, leaving marks around your throat, breasts, wings, hips, and thighs, as Alastor lost all control, even as he continued to pound into you with an uneven and desperate pace.

Everything blurred as you came down from the high together. You felt your muscles turn to jelly and give out in the final moments of your climax, just in time to feel Alastor finally still and begin to soften before he pulled out.

After several serene moments had gone by, the sheets beneath you began to move and pull away. As if in a dream, you felt your body being moved up the bed and then Alastor’s weight joined next to you as you were tucked into bed. Without being cleaned and without a word of praise or love, which he usually included in an aftercare routine for you.

But you knew, deep within the fog of your exhausted mind, that you deserved this. You would wake up in the morning marked by the bruises and the sticky mess between your legs, and only then would you be allowed to shower and heal yourself.

“Thank you,” you murmured with closed eyes as he finished tucking you in. “I don’t think I can move after that, let alone walk.”

An amused, deep chuckle came from Alastor before he pinched your cheek hard enough to make your eyes snap back open.

He got up from the bed, now fully dressed, and straightened his bow tie and monocle before marching towards the door with a pleased and arrogant look on his face.

“Good, my darling. That’s good. Let’s see you try to pull that nonsense again now that your legs don’t work. Sweet dreams,” he added as he opened the bedroom door and gave you one last warning smile before he slammed the door behind him, hard enough to knock a few decorations off the walls.

You sighed as you heard a lock clicking into place, knowing his point was made, and that he was still very much angry with you. But the storm had passed, for both of you. You relaxed into the soft pillow and closed your eyes, the first smile in days touching your lips as you drifted off to sleep.

[theonevoice]

Idolaters - In the Light

- You said it yourself, Aziraphale, we are the side of Light. The Serpent almost succeded in corrupting you, but you're safe now. You're home. You'll be pure again. No place for shadows here, no shades of grey. Our holy Light will shine in every corner of Hell until the last demon will be vanished. Come, be pure again, renounce the demon and all his works and empty promises...

Did I hurt myself by finishing this while listening to Pathway from the Made in Abyss OST? Yes, yes I did... if you know, you know...

EDIT: I updated the pictures because I forgot half of the things I had to draw and then made another post but then I started getting notes from two slightly different versions of the same thing and panicked and my stupid order-obsessed brain was shouting and crying and throwing up at the mess so here we are. As I was saying, keep it real: did you imagine a sublime artist drawing inspiration from the ether? Nope, it's a messy unhinged insomniac who works two day jobs and digipaints cross-legged on a bed balancing laptop tablet and cats at 4am.

EDIT2: It took me months but I finally managed to figure out what was bothering me about this: I messed up his upper/lower body proportions (I think I somehow stretched the bottom half of the canvas when I went back to add the sword that I had initially forgotten, yes I can be *this* dumb). I'll come back to fix it, one day...

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART II

Felix x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (9,7k words)

Author's note: I'm sorry guys but I have to leave you with another cliffhanger. The last part will be posted this weekend, feel free to vent in my inbox and enjoy x

Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.

FELIX: I'm just your uh... normal guy. [smiles] Just trying to be a nice guy and do something my mum would be proud of at the end of the day. [snickers] I don't really have any lines, I don't have, like, a strategy to attract girls. Basically, I just walk into a bar and they heard my voice and accent, sorted. I wouldn't say how many girls I've been with [chuckles] uhm... people only focus on the numbers and a gentleman doesn't say. [laughs]

-

Felix has been staring at the surface of the pool long enough that it starts to calm him down. He was nervous a minute ago, waiting for you in anticipation even though he should be relaxed knowing that you said yes to having a date with him.

The date is set in the pool of the villa with a fruit platter and a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice served at the side of the pool. It's not the first time he's going on a date but his pattern of dating is casually meeting someone someplace and taking them home for a hook-up, that's it.

It's going to be hard to change that pattern, especially when he's been trapped in it long enough that it's comfortable. Going on a date and try not to do any physical touches? Felix already has a hard time imagining it.

"Hi, hello!"

Felix's head snaps in your direction and he almost chokes on air seeing you walking toward him in a crimson-red bikini.

"Have you been waiting long?" You ask.

Felix quickly offers his hand to help you get into the pool, slowly engulfing both of your bodies in the lukewarm water from the chest down. The lights from the bottom of the pool casts a bluish glow on your face and with this proximity, he can see your face up close and observes every facial feature you have.

Felix slightly shakes his head in disbelief. You're so perfect from head to toe that he's having a hard time wrapping his head around it and you're right in front of him.

-

FELIX: She's lush! In that red bikini looking like a forbidden apple and I just want to take a bite.

-

"Aren't you going to pour me a drink?" You're eyeing the two empty champagne flutes.

It's obvious he's too busy lusting over your body that he forgot to be a gentleman. You hold the glass as Felix filled them with bubby wine and pours himself a glass after.

"It's so nice!" You compliment.

Again, Felix has to force his brain to cooperate and actively stop himself from looking at your body, "Huh?"

"The date," you say, picking a grape from the plate and shoving it into your mouth, "I've never been on a date this nice before."

Felix gulps his wine to fuel his guts, "me too," he says, reaching for the grape but you get ahead of him.

"Here," you say, bringing a grape close to his mouth and feeding it to him.

He's more than eager to eat it right from your hand and grins as he chews on it while you refill both of your glasses with more wine.

"Thank you for picking me for the date by the way," you tell him with a smile.

Felix clinks his glass with yours, "thank you for saying yes," he thanked you back.

After taking a sip, you put the wine away and focus on him instead, making him nervous as you tilt your head low and look at him through your lashes. It's the classic trick in the book of seduction but you do it effortlessly with a hundred percent rate of success, making him feel like a special man, the only man in the world.

"I was surprised when Lana told me you asked me for a date," you explain.

The water is still enough that Felix can see you scoot closer to him that your knees bumps with him and it takes everything in him not to put his hand on your thigh, "May I know why you chose me?"

Felix has to force his brain to work extra tonight and rakes his hair to the back as if it would help, "I have my eyes on you on the first day," he admits.

Your lips curl into a smile and it's a familiar one that tells you're not buying his words, "yeah?"

Good thing Felix has just the proof of it, "I'm the one who kissed you at the blindfold game," he confidently spills the truth.

You hold a gaze for a moment then look away to get your wine glass, "I know."

If you know, then why you didn't react the way Felix expected to? You hold your wine glass close to your mouth but not drinking it, "What I want to know is why you didn't make a move on me until now?"

Felix finishes his wine before answering, "I have my reasons," he answers.

Your hand reaches for the fruit platter next to his shoulder and picks a slice of strawberry, "is it because I'm your second choice?"

"No!" Felix immediately denies it.

"The boys talked about which girls they were going for. You are Alex and Jamie's choice, then Jamie partnered up with you so I–I uh..." he stammers as he watches you eat the strawberry, then wash it down with the wine.

-

FELIX: Sitting this close and not able to kiss her? Impossible. She's irresistible, my gosh... [sucks air through teeth]

-

When Felix talked to you in the firepit that night, you have your guard up because he knows you were with Jamie but now, look at you! Your head is slightly tilted and flutter your eyelashes at him. You got game and Felix likes having all of your attention just for him. He's more than eager to give you all of his attention, that wouldn't be hard, you're the only one he's seeing.

Felix licks his lips as his throat got dry from watching you and quickly recovers by splashing some water into the back of his neck, "I think compared to them, I don't think I'd have a shot with you," he furtherly explains.

You stare into his eyes and locked them in an intense gaze, "why? I think you're attractive," you tell him.

He unconsciously reaches for his ear as he gets flustered by your compliment.

"I think you know by now that three of the girls are chasing after you. Shouldn't you be happy?" You share the news Felix already knew. He wants to know something else, something more important, "depends," he says, "If one of the three is you then yes, I'd be happy."

A laugh burst out of you and Felix is elated to know that he's the one who made you laugh like that. There's something else as important he needs to know, "so what's your type?"

You fix the strap of your bikini and Felix reflexively looks at your cleavage, glancing at the soft mounds inside your bikini top, then quickly shifts his eyes back to your face.

"On the paper, no, you're not," you honestly answer.

Felix's smile fades a little but he keeps his disappointment to himself by sipping his drink.

"But I'm attracted to you," you add.

He swallows his drink at once and almost choked on it, the scintillating smile returns to his face.

"The fact that you're not my type but I'm attracted to you... I think that says something," you tell him with a sly smile. You hold his gaze before looking away and it's cute that you can be bold then shy the next minute.

He sees that you're eyeing the fruit platter next to him, "want something?"

You lowly chuckle and shyly say, "I was looking at your biceps actually but yes, okay, I'd like a strawberry, please?"

You always seem to know what to say and how to make his heart flutter, he can't help but softly laugh, flustered. You hold his hand by the wrist and steady his hand as you eat the strawberry right from between his fingers.

Felix briefly feels how your mouth and lips feel like. It's not technically a rule break and he was playing it safe until you did that. He clears his throat to steer his mind back on track, "Uhm... is that what you like about me? My biceps?"

You lick the juice escaping the corner of your mouth with your tongue, "you have a great body but what I like is the freckles," you share.

Felix unconsciously reaches for his face, "Yeah?"

You pull your hand out of the water and touch his chest, "I didn't know that you also have freckles on your chest."

Is it the beads of water slowly trickling down his chest or it's your fingertips that are lightly touching him that make him tingle inside? Felix feels the need to do the same with you. He reaches for the stray hair escaping your messy bun and tucks it behind your ear.

Instead of retracting his hand, he keeps it there, holding the side of your face.

-

FELIX: [Hisses] I want to kiss her so badly.

-

Felix may as well take his chance, leaning in close but doing it carefully as he seeks permission from you. He leans in closer to whisper in your ear with his hand still holding one side of your head, "Should we kiss?"

You put your hand on his thigh underwater and seductively chuckle, hinting that you probably think it's not a bad idea after all.

"I just got out of this thing," you avoid mentioning Jamie in the sentence, then you smile as you say, "I don't want to rush things."

Felix nods in understanding, "That's fair."

However, the hand resting on his thigh tells him otherwise.

-

FELIX: The chemistry we have is electric. I get the feeling that he can't resist me for long.

-

The date ends since it's about to be curfew soon. You and Felix exchange a hug, a long one that he gets to feel your body against him.

"That was a nice date," you mutter with a hand around his neck.

Felix uses the opportunity to draw you closer until your breasts squashed between your chests, "Yeah, indeed."

Being the gentleman he is, he gets out of the swimming pool first, then immediately offers his hand to help you. You take it without complaining, letting him hold you until you got out of the water.

Felix watches as the streams of water trickle down your body and your bikini stick to your skin, leaving so little to his imagination. He grabs a towel from a stack prepared on the lounger and put it around your shoulder.

"Thank you," you thank him, then he grabs one for himself and walks back into the house together.

-

FELIX: She refused to kiss but I’m confident to say the date went well.

-

The date may have ended but the night continues.

You both go straight to the bathroom with water dripping down your bodies and it's empty since everyone else is tucked in for bedtime. The spacious shower stall gives Felix an idea crossed but he's afraid of crossing the line to ask you.

"You can go in first," he offers.

You drop the wet towel and put it on the edge of the bathtub, "how about we shower together?"

Are you reading his mind? Because that's exactly the idea he had in mind. Felix suddenly doesn't know what to do with himself, aimlessly pacing around the bathroom.

"You can use my nice-smelling shampoo," you offer with a playful laugh.

"I can't say no to that," he replies.

Felix has to calm himself as you enter the shower after him, turning your back to him to help you untie the straps of your bikini. He puts all of your hair away and carefully works the knot open, you take it off yourself after. He watches as you hook your fingers around the sides of your bikini bottom and slide it down your legs, putting the bikini aside with your feet.

It's when you turn around to face him that he starts malfunctioning. There's nothing left to imagine now he sees all of you, that beautiful body of yours that he wants to explore if it wasn't for the stupid rules. You step under the shower and tilt your head up to let the water rain down your chest.

Felix has never been this jealous of the water for being able to be all over you.

"Want me to wash your hair?" You ask, taking the shampoo out of your toiletry bag.

Unable to verbally answers, he stifled a nod.

-

FELIX: I don't know how I'm still alive after seeing her phenomenal body [whistles]

-

It's the way you stare up at him with your hands slowly massaging his scalp and standing so close to him that it alarms him that he's rather in danger.

"Is it good?"

He's not sure what you're asking, the way you shampoo his hair or how your body makes him feel. He chooses to compliment you instead, "You're good at this."

"Yeah?" You ask with a grin.

"Mmh, yeah," he tries to distract himself by talking but not long after, he found his eyes looking at your breasts, hung so beautifully on your chest, merely inches away from his chest.

"Time to wash it," you inform, pulling him under the shower and washing all the suds away from his hair while brushing it clean with your fingers.

As you intently clean his hair, Felix braves himself to put his hands on each side of your waist and reminds himself to not go lower than that.

"It smells nice," he comments, opening his eyes from closing it for too long.

You drop your hands on his shoulders then clasped your hands together on the back of his head. With his proximity, your hardening nipples are lightly grazing his chest, raising the goosebumps on his arms.

"You're lucky I let you use it," you say with a sweet smile on your face and your eyes staring back at him. 

This is it. Felix has hit his limits. He can't resist it anymore.

-

FELIX: Oh fuck, I'm in trouble.

-

"I'm glad we didn't kiss on the date," Felix says.

You chuckle right at his face, "Huh? Why?"

Getting bolder, Felix wraps his hands around you and pulls you even closer, "Because now is the right time to do it."

Your teeth faintly biting your lower lip and he can see the lust in your eyes. Once you close your eyes, Felix knows that he just got your permission. The sweet smell of your breath welcomes him as he kisses your slightly parted mouth. You kiss him back with the same eagerness with a broken moan slips out of you between kisses.

Felix expected sparks but what he gets are far greater, fireworks getting off inside his chest.

-

FELIX: The kiss is such a long time coming and I just don't care about the rules at that moment. It feels so right.

-

You pull away first with a gasp and an open mouth, keeping your hands looped around his neck

"Wow. We made that kiss worth the six grands."

Felix grins in agreement with you, except that for him, the kiss is worth more than that. He'd pay with his own money if he had to, it was special, one of a kind. Then another problem appears, Felix craves for it more than before. He leans in for another but you're quick to turn your face to the side, sending his lips landed on your cheek.

"We can't break another rule today," you whisper into his ear.

Defeated, Felix drops his head on your neck and holds you close.

You reach for the faucet and turn it to the side, "How about a cold shower, mmh?" 

-

FELIX: A part of me is glad that she stopped me or else, we would have done everything by now [shamelessly laughs]

-

It was too late to have you sleeping with him last night.

Hopefully, later, he can fix this bed situation so he can wake up next to you and probably, sneaks a kiss or two. Seeing your face and exchanging a secretive smile is enough to gather his spirits to last the day.

Cole is going through his routine and asks everyone the question of the day, "anyone breaks any rules last night?"

He scans everyone to spot any guilty faces and Felix knows that he's safe from his suspicious eyes since Cole is his bedmate.

"You guys are looking guilty over there," Heidi points at Jamie and Mia's bed.

Fuck Jamie, he's so stupid to let you go but smart enough to leave you because you deserve better. Felix is confident that he is that 'someone better'.

Unlike everyone else, Felix can't wait for everyone to know that he kissed you and gets jealous of him.

-

FELIX: Another day, another chance to break the rules [winks]

- 

Too bad that despite his excitement, Felix can't spend time with you as you are being called to the front yard for a workshop with the other girls. He has no other things to do but join Alex working out and at the same time, helping him with some lower body workouts.

"You didn't tell me about your date last night," He says as he's taking a minute of a break between sets.

Felix counts the time and at the same time answering to his question, "It went great, man."

Alex is the one who encourages him to keep trying even when you were still with Jamie.

"Told you," he says with a triumphant smirk and getting up, grabbing dumbbells in both hands.

"Did you do anything?" Alex glances at him to get any hints from Felix's expression.

Felix refuses to answer but the grin on his face gives it away.

"How much did you spend?"

He's bad at lying and it's not like he's talking to Cole, which reminds him to look around, "Just one kiss," Felix answers after steering clear that Cole is out of his earshot.

Alex laughs and puts the dumbbells down, "just get ready, bro."

Surprisingly, Felix doesn't care so much about what everyone is going to say when they know about him breaking the rules.

"As an experienced rulebreaker, do you have any tips?" Felix playfully asks.

Alex laughs again and plops down on the hot sand, "I hate to tell you but the only way is through," he says with a stupid grin.

"Thank you, Dorothy!" Felix jokingly responds.

-

FELIX: I missed her even though I know she's only on a different side of the villa [chuckles]

-

Felix can't hide his smile when he sees you back from the workshop.

Moreover, he doesn't want to be around Jamie. The fact that he left you for someone else leaves a bad taste in him. Or maybe it's just that Felix grows protective of you that makes him feel that way.

"It's so hot. I'm thinking of taking a dip," you tell him.

He glares at you, "And you're not inviting me?"

"Yes. I'm not inviting you," you tell him with a sly smile, walking to the pool while dragging him along behind you.

Seeing your wet body only reminds him of last night, except that you have not even a thread covering that beautiful body of yours. He's standing next to you inside the pool, facing the view of the beach. He should distract himself from looking at your body by starting a conversation, or anything to keep his head occupied.

"So uh... how was the workshop?" He asks.

You turn to face him when he wishes that you didn't, "basically that when we let men into us, we also absorbed everything about them," you answer.

Your hand is floating on the surface of the water and drifting close to him, "it taught us that we should be more selective of the men we let in," you finish.

Can't help himself to touch you, he places a hand on the arch of your back, "that sounds great," he comments.

You nod and prop a hand under your chin, looking at him with a soft smile.

"What's your verdict on me?" Felix asks.

You tilt your head with a questioning look on your face.

He pulls you close and allows himself to place a kiss on your bare shoulder, "will you let me in?"

You shyly chuckle while putting your hand on his shoulder, "We'll see..." you vaguely answer.

-

FELIX: She may have not fully recovered from the previous thing but I think we're off to a good start.

-

You turn him around and jump onto his back, "get me there," you order.

"To the end of the pool?"

You nod, "and back," you continue.

"I didn't know that I have to do lower body workout," he says.

You throw your arms around his neck, "Go! Go! Go!"

Felix hoists you higher on his back and slowly walks to the end of the pool, carrying you on his back.

"Am I heavy?" You lean in close.

"If you're asking of we can do the wheelbarrow position, the answer is yes," he shamelessly pulls a lewd joke.

-

FELIX: It's so hard to not think about sex when she's walking around being the hot temptation she is.

-

The firepit is your favorite place in the villa and it unconsciously becomes his favorite place too.

"We're matching!" You exclaim, spotting the navy blue shirt he's wearing and pointing at the dress you're wearing.

"We're meant to be," he coyly responds.

If only you knew that he took a peek at what you'll be wearing tonight and purposely matches his clothes with yours. You sit next to him on the long sofa, lounging with him under the moonlight with the fire keeping the night warm for both of you.

You're lying sideway facing him and resting your head on his arm, this way, he can see the curve of your body wrapped in a skin-tight dress with thin straps.

He takes this chance to ask the question he's been wanting to ask, "Will you sleep on my bed tonight?" 

Your fingers are busy playing with the button on his shirt.

"For the rest of the retreat too?" He asks again.

You lowly chuckle, "No."

Felix jerks his head away, refusing to believe that you just rejected him.

You look up at him and say, "But you can sleep on my bed."

He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and dryly laugh, "Oh yeah, we're going to evict Heidi tonight."

-

FELIX: The bed situation has been sorted, there's one more thing left to do now.

-

Felix runs his hand up and down your arm, "it's a nice dress," he compliments.

"I borrow this from Laura," you share.

The strap accidentally got caught in Felix's bracelet and pulls it down your arm, almost spilling your breast out of your dress.

"Whoops," Felix cheekily responds. He carefully fixes it for you and slides the strap back to its place on your shoulder.

It seems wrong to be this close to you and not kiss you. Not when that's what he thought about all day, the taste and the softness of your lips. Felix tilts your head and seeks your permission with a thumb that tenderly brushes your lower lip.You close your eyes, once again, letting him get what he wants and hopefully, it's what you want too.

Felix doesn't need to worry as you return his kiss with the same eagerness. He can taste your lips with a hint of mint that he believes is coming from your lip gloss. A hand wraps around your neck to keep you still as his tongue pries open your mouth so he can deepen the kiss and tastes you wholly. 

Everything else doesn't matter at that moment, it's just you and him, encased in a breathtaking kiss.

-

FELIX: I'm willing to pay with my own money just to kiss her again [shrugs]

-

"Do I have your lipstick on me?"

You nod as you wipe your smudged lipstick.

"Does it look good on me?" Felix leans in close so you can clean it for him.

"Yes," you reply, intently wiping the lipstick mark you left on his lips with your thumb.

With you still leaning close and your finger brushing his lips, Felix is tempted to kiss you again. You quickly sense his intention and look away to prevent it from happening. One kiss is enough, for now.

-

FELIX: I just can't stop... oh, my God! I don't want to stop.

-

It's only about time that Lana comes and announces the damage you both did.

Before that, you fix your dress and hair, leaving nothing that will give anyone the impression that the two of you have kissed. Felix holds your hand as you both make your way to the cabana and sit on the smaller sofa on the side of the room. He leans in close to the side of your head and softly asks, "Are you nervous?"

You take a deep breath and answer, "Yeah."

It would be a lie to say that he's not as nervous. This is his first time being on the hot seat but he knows what to do, he has his defense at the ready.

"It'll be fine," he comforts you while tucking a hair behind your ear.

The sweet smile you give him puts him at ease. Then you take his hand, clasped it together with yours, and rest it on your lap.

"Hello, everyone!" Lana greets with her computer voice.

"Hello, Lana banana!" Heidi being the loudest of us greets her back.

"There have been breaches of the rules," Lana announces.

Cole brushes his hair to the back in frustration and leans back on the sofa, "I'm so done with y'all."

Felix decides to own up to his mistakes and comes forward, "We kissed. Twice," he concisely admits.

Felix glances around and sees that Jamie is grinning, probably going to enjoy that he's not the one about to get shouted at. Instead of that, there's a moment of silence and he's not sure if it means good or bad.

"Well, if it's you guys..." Laura says, flipping her hair to the back, "I think you deserve it."

Alex nods, agreeing with her and Felix appreciates that Alex has his back like a good friend he is.

"I agree," Maeve adds with a smile shot at you.

-

FELIX: Whoa, what was that? That is not the reaction I was expecting we'd get [eyes widens]

-

"I feel like... you guys are building connections so..." Heidi gives her opinion.

Felix lets out a quiet sigh of relief and smiles at everyone, "Thank you, guys. We appreciate it," he says, shaking your clasped hand in giddiness.

He looks at you and you look back at him with a sweet smile. He feels more certain about his choices, this is right, you are right for him.

"But that's not all..." Lana drops a sudden announcement.

-

FELIX: Oh... fuck off, Lana!

-

"We have reached the middle of the retreat. However, certain individuals haven't shown the growth we wanted," Lana continues.

Felix feels your hand holding him tighter and he puts his other hand on you, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand.

You put your head on his shoulder, "Is she sending us home?" You meekly ask him.

Considering that he has broken the rules that automatically put both of you on Lana's naughty list, his heart races in his chest. Felix doesn't want to leave yet. Now that he's with you, he wants to stay for as long as he could.

"I'll be sending home two people."

"Two? Right now?" Cole gasps in pure shock.

You nuzzle your head further into his neck, "what the hell," you softly murmur with a restless sigh.

Felix lets go of his hand to put his arm around you. He can't say much because he's not in a good position to know for certain that it's not you or him Lana going to send home.

"Oh, fuck!" Heidi sighs into her hands.

The situation turns even more bleak as everyone got hit by the realization that they can get kicked out at any moment and they should have taken the rules seriously.

-

FELIX: I'm absolutely shitting it.

-

"Come on, Lana! You can't be serious," Cole says with a nervous laugh.

"The guests leaving the treat are..."

Felix hears your panicked whine on his shoulder and reflexively pulls you closer to him, knowing that you seek comfort from him.

"Daniel and Aly."

"Oh, my God!" You mutter, slung your hand across his shoulder.

Everyone is in complete shock while a few of them kind of figured that they're the ones who have been fooling around the retreat and not taking the process seriously. Despite all of that, it'll be a loss not having them again in here. Felix cherished the time he spent with them even though he doesn't know them on a personal level.

"Since arriving at my retreat, you have ignored my rules, dismissed my teachings, and failed to grow. And pursued your own desires at the expense of those around you."

Everyone gets quiet as Lana explains the reasons why she sends them home tonight.

"Daniel and Aly, you must now leave my retreat."

-

FELIX: I think Daniel had a problem following the rules and always chose to be selfish.

-

"Love you," Aly mutters to you as she hugs you.

You sniffle and say back to her, "Love you, Al!"

Besides Maeve, Felix has seen you hang out with Aly a few times so he understands that it must feel like you're losing a friend. That only proves what a caring person you are and he's lucky to be with you.

After watching them leave, you turn to hug to seek comfort from each other.

-

FELIX: I hope they continue to grow outside of the retreat. I wish you all the best, Daniel and Aly! [smiles]

-

It's bedtime and he feels bad if he has to evict Heidi, he turns to Cole, kindly asking him to sleep with her.

"Don't let me down, okay?" Cole warns before taking his pillow with him to Heidi's bed.

He saw you're chatting with Maeve in the make-up room and that explains why it's taking you long to come to bed. He's listening to everyone else talking about Daniel and Aly leaving one bed unoccupied for the night.

When you finally appear, you're smiling as you make your way to his bed. You toss the cushion onto the floor to make some space on the bed while he's puffing your pillow for you, then puts his arm out for you to rest on.

Felix doesn't wait to kiss you on the cheek, "you smell so good," he says.

You smile and say, "I'm pretty sure it's the moisturizer."

-

FELIX: I'm sharing a bed with her and she smells so good [hisses air through teeth] It's not going to be easy tonight!

-

There is not an ounce of privacy in the villa but as time goes on, Felix has come to the point that he stops caring about it.

The lights are out and as you turn to your side, your body instantly molds against him. Felix almost lets out a lewd groan the moment your ass is rubbing against his crotch. His self-control is being put to the test tonight and he's most likely to fail at it. He plants soft kisses along your shoulder and up the column of your neck, "I'm so happy that we're sharing a bed," he whispers into your ear.

Felix hears you softly giggling and if only you knew how much he likes hearing your giggles.

You slightly turn your head to the side, "Me too."

He plants his mouth on your neck again and tries not to think about kissing your lips that are mere inches away from his.

"Mmh..." he hums as he plants his nose in your hair and the smell of your shampoo brings him back to that night he showered with you. He hums again but it comes out as a low growl with the deep voice he has.

You look over your shoulder and gently grips his chin, "let's not break any more rules," you lowly say.

He nods and hastily kisses the nape of your neck, "mmh... 'kay."

It's like his hands have their own brains, they start to roam around your body, feeling your clothed body all over. Well, he can vividly picture it in his head without looking, you're wearing a white, thin tank top with boxer shorts that barely cover your body.

"You're so beautiful," he seductively says into your ear.

Sensing that he's close to danger, you take his hands and clasped them with yours to prevent them from wandering around. Felix sighs in defeat, then breaks into laughter as you caught on to his bad intention.

You laugh along and turn to softly kiss him on the jaw, "Goodnight."

He returns it with a long kiss on your cheek, "Goodnight, babe."

-

FELIX: [sticks tongue out] It's clear that she has better self-control than me [laughs] 

-

You look adorable with your hair tousled, barefaced, and disoriented like an angel who has just fallen from heaven.

"Morning," he forgot that his voice is even deeper in the morning and slightly surprised you with it.

You sleepily smile at him, "Morning."

You reach for his head and slip your hand in his hair, lazily scratching at it.

Felix is smitten, he can look at your face for hours without getting bored. If only he could kiss you while he's at it, it would be perfect. He notices that your tank top slides to the side, almost exposing your breast. He immediately helps you fix it before anyone can see it.

Cole is calling for Felix across the room, "Are we good, bro?"

He chuckles knowing that he's asking whether he broke rules or not, "Nothing happened. I promise you," he assures him.

-

FELIX: I had the hardest yet the best sleep I had so far in the retreat.

-

"How are things going, my friend?" Killian asks.

Felix leans back on the sofa and looks at the beach with its postcard-worthy view.

"We've been good if that's what you're asking," Felix playfully replies then shot a glare at Cole.

"I have no problems with you breaking rules if you like each other," Cole defends his strict policy about rulebreaking. He stares at him and with a serious face asks him, "Do you like her?"

"I do," Felix replies without a beat.

He smiles out of the blue like a fool in love he is, "I started to notice these little things about her and find them cute."

Cole and Killian break into laughter in unison but Felix is too happy to feel offended and laughs along with them.

"Oh, boy!" Cole exclaims, enjoying making fun of him too much.

-

FELIX: [Covers face with hands] I like her so much it's so stupid. I don't know if she likes me back, I'm sure she is but... [shrugs] no, I actually don't know.

-

Seeing that you're done giving your daily interview, he begins searching for you in the house.

Instead of you, he bumps into Maeve and she knows right away he's looking for her best friend.

"She's in the bathroom," she informs.

"Thank you!" He quickly mutters to her, heading to the bathroom, seeing you standing by the sink and lathering your body with sunblock. It's time that he returns the favor you've done to him once.

"Need help?"

You smile the moment you see him standing in the doorway, "yes, please!"

Felix enthusiastically takes his position behind you, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder before lathering the skin with sunblock. Not that he's no longer attracted to your body, unfortunately, he will always be but he's getting better at controlling his impulses.

Sure it's tempting to untie your bikini and with everyone out of the house, you and him could have another round in the shower. He takes a deep breath when the urge comes up and reminds himself that he shouldn't break any rules, he's aiming to form a genuine connection with you to get a green light

He slips his arms under and around you, "you're so beautiful, babe."

You giggle in response and look at his reflection in the mirror, "Thank you!"

Without warning, he lifts you and carries you out of the bathroom like a sack of potato, sending you squealing, "I'm taking you with me everywhere.”

-

FELIX: Things are going better between me and her. We're happy with each other.

-

Knowing that none of you break the rules, Felix can relax when it's time to get to the cabana. He's sitting next to you, putting his arm around you and fiddling with the strap of your bikini, twirling it around his finger.

"Hello, everyone!"

"Hello, Lana!" He half-heartedly greets her back. From the sound of her ever-the-same computer voice, Felix gets the feeling that she's going to share the good news.

"I'm about to initiate my test."

-

FELIX: Oh shit. I was wrong to think that it was going to be good news.

-

"With the help of two new arrivals."

With Daniel and Aly left, it only makes sense that Lana brought new contestants into the retreat. Felix should have seen it coming and now, he's just nervous, afraid that it's going to be what he thinks it is.

"The first new arrival is Poppy."

Everyone starts to guess what she looks like just from her name.

"The second new arrival is Josh."

Now this is what Felix fears the most: what is Lana going to do with them? Because if it would be like the last time, Felix dislikes the idea.

"Two of you will be going on private dates with the new arrivals."

-

FELIX: Whoever this new guy is... I don't feel threatened. At all.

-

This is not good.

Things are looking up for him and Lana decides to stir things up by sending new guests which he's sure, not only going to change the dynamic in the house but possibly, cause some chaos too.

"They have selected the guests they are most attracted to from the choice of those in relationships."

Did Felix accidentally manifest it into reality? 

-

FELIX: Josh, my guy, you'd better not step on my toes.

-

"Josh has chosen to go on a date with..."

Felix's heart is beating out of control, it's like his body is telling him that his worst fear is about to come true. He closes his eyes and tries to be cool if it's you who gets chosen.

When Lana calls your name, his heart leaps and he closes his eyes.

"Of course!" He mutters under his breath. He didn't intend for you to hear it but he's a bit upset about being put in this situation.

-

FELIX: I trust her. It's this new guy that I don't trust.

-

Felix looks at you to see your reaction. You seem to be at a loss for words and turn rigid next to him. Unlike him, you probably didn't expect to get picked.

"You may now leave to get ready for your dates."

He pulls you into a hug and reluctantly lets you go, "See you later," he says and manages to put on a smile for you.

"Bye," you say to him.

He watches as you leave to go on a date with someone else.

-

FELIX: If she goes for this new guy, I'm not going to lie... [licks lips] I'll be absolutely heartbroken.

-

"How are you feeling, Felix?" Maeve asks from the end of the sofa, curious about his feelings about this situation as if his face didn't tell how worried he is right now.

"It's not easy," he answers, "I trust her but I can't lie, there's a little part of me that's worried."

Maeve gently pats him on the knee, "Well, Lana said it's a test so..."

She shifts on her seat to put her feet up, "it wouldn't be easy."

Felix's head is in overdrive. There are so many thoughts inside his head and most of them are not doing him good.

"Yeah..." he half-heartedly answers.

"But I know her and I'm sure she'll stay faithful to you," Maeve tells her.

Considering that it's coming from your closest friend in this retreat, Felix decides to hang on to those words. At least, after this, he'll know whether he can trust you or not.

-

FELIX: This guy chose her for a reason and that makes me restless [drops head into hands] 

-

The boys agreed to wear matching black shirts tonight. Felix just picked whatever piece of clothing he has in white color and put it on, having no energy to dress up for tonight.

Killian offers him the extra black shirt he packed with him, "You can wear mine, mate!"

Cole can only laugh seeing him so restless as they're hanging out by the fire pit and talking about the new guy when that's the last thing he wants to talk about.

"Are you nervous?" Jamie asks.

Felix knows that Jamie tries to take a dig at him, "not really," he coyly answers.

If only he knew that Felix is so close to losing it.

-

FELIX: My head is all over the place right now... I refuse to show it. I don't want to show my weakness.

-

Felix tries not to think too much about it. However, when you show up linking your arm with the new guy, he slouched down on the sofa to hide himself.

"Ooh... she's smiling," Killian quietly informs him.

He tries so hard not to look no matter how much he wanted to. He doesn't want to see you're happy with someone else.

"This is not good, man!" Cole adds, putting Killian's words deeper into him.

Felix covers his eyes as if it would stop him from facing reality. Cole aggressively pats his knee and not stopping until he snaps his head his way.

"They're coming this way!" He informs.

"Oh, fuck!" Felix curses under his breath and sits straighter on the sofa.

Good thing that with the job he has as a model, he knows how to put on a good front even though he's dying inside. He takes a deep breath and put on a straight face.

"Hey, everyone," you greet them as you descend the stairs to the firepit.

"This is Josh," you introduce.

Instead of parting ways, you decide to sit next to each other on the sofa across from him.

-

FELIX: Fucking hell, man?!

-

Jamie decides to be the one breaking the awkward silence, "How was the date?"

Josh nods with a smile on his face, "it was good."

The answer doesn't quite give Jamie the satisfaction, so he turns to you for another answer.

"It was nice. I think we got on well," you answer and glance at Josh.

"I've chosen her for a reason and I enjoyed the date. I think I'm going to try, get to know her better," Josh adds after you.

It takes everything in him to not go at him or snatch you away, out of this retreat. Felix starts to heat, inside and outside.

-

FELIX: Josh is a nice-looking guy and I can see that he's on a mission. Well, he's going to be a big problem to me [gulps air]

-

"I'm sure you guys have a lot to talk about," Cole kindly put the conversation to an end.

"Josh, right? We'll introduce you to the girls," he gets up, indirectly telling everyone to come along as well so you and Felix can talk.

Once they left, you walk over and sit next to him. He takes your hand resting on the space between you and him, "it's nice to have you back," he says with a smile.

You lean on the sofa and sit facing him, "yeah?"

He swallows air before asking you the question he's been dying to know.

"How was the date? Really?" He asks and nervously gulps air, it's like no matter how much air he takes, he stays breathless.

"Well, I did tell him about you," you begin.

That's a good thing but it's too early to celebrate yet, "yeah?"

"But he said he doesn't care," you continue with an awkward laugh.

-

FELIX: Oh, Josh, man, I'll never let you step on my toes.

-

You fiddle with the end of your hair before looking him in the eyes and continue talking.

"Josh is a nice guy but..." you put all of your hair to the side, "we didn't do anything."

Felix can't help but let a smile blooms on his face hearing your words.

You playfully grab his biceps and squeeze on them, "No one was going to change my mind."

The smile grows wider on his face and he can finally breathe for the first time.

"I know we have something great going on and I don't want to throw that away," you say with a soft smile that matches the gaze.

But Felix has one more question to assure him that he's made the right choice, "Does this mean you like me?"

Your forehead wrinkles in confusion, "Of course, I like you. I wouldn't have tried if I don't."

-

FELIX: Tonight, I am the happiest man on this retreat. Possibly the luckiest too [grins]

-

Ecstatic, he throws himself at you, sending both of you toppled onto the sofa. He rests his head on your chest and lets you brush his hair like you always do, "You're sweating," you tell him.

Felix laughs his embarrassment away, "I tried to stay confident but I was struggling."

You coo at him and brush his hair to the back, "Well, I kind of want to make you sweat a little."

He puts his arms around you and nestles his head in your neck, "I'm glad to have you back, babe," he says.

He gets carried away that he leans in to kiss you to abruptly stops as he remembers Lana's rules and gasps in shock, "Oh, fuck!" 

You cradle his head and kiss him on the cheek to compensate for it.

-

FELIX: I can't believe I'm about to thank Lana because this test only brought us closer, stronger. So thank you, Lana! [Blows a kiss to the camera]

-

The two new arrivals don't make a significant change except that the empty bed is now occupied.

Yeah, he's happy that Alex also stays with Laura and proves to everyone that he has a connection with her. However, Felix is too over the moon to even think about everyone else. His cheeks hurt from smiling non-stop and now he's about to spoil you with cuddles as you climb onto the bed.

Cole warns the new arrivals that he's watching even though his eyes are closed, earning a series of laughter from everyone.

The lights are out but with his heart full to the brim, Felix can't sleep. He touches you all over and places kisses on the skin he can land his lips on. He likes you so much and he always thinks that just saying it is not enough. He wants to show you with actions.

-

FELIX: We've been good lately so I don't see why we can't spend a little money [smirks]

-

Felix waits until the night got late.

When he deems that everyone is fast asleep, he begins by disrupting your sleep with slobbering kisses on your neck and face. His hand is placing fluttering touches on your body and once in a while, squeezes on the flesh.

He doesn't stop until you wake up from your slumber and when you do, he whispers into your ear, "Baby?"

You turn your head on your pillow and look at him with half-shut eyes, "why are you still awake?"

Instead of answering you, he kisses the nape of your neck, knowing that it's your sensitive spot.

"I like you so, so, so much," he whispers into your ear and emphasizes the words to you.

You lowly giggle, then tangle your hand in his hair, softly tugging at it, "I like you too, baby."

Catching you off guard, he turns your head by your chin and crashes his lips against yours.

-

FELIX: I'm so happy she chose me and I want to show her that [raises an eyebrow]

-

Felix gives you no time to stop him. He distracts you, keeping your mouth busy while he slides his hand down, swiftly sliding his hand inside your silk shorts. You whine against his lips as his hand makes contact with your sex, so soft and warm.

"Shh..." he hushed you.

Felix touches you as he would to a delicate flower, doing it so carefully and with so much tenderness. You pull the duvet to cover you and muffle any noises that may come out of you even though you have planted your mouth on his neck.

Felix hovers his head above you, watching your face in the dark as your breathless moans echo under the cover. He traces your fold, fingers lightly circling your clit and applying gentle pressures when he knows you're getting closer to coming undone, "Close?"

"Mmh," you hum in answer.

He keeps doing the same thing with more intensity and adds more speed to it. From the way your cunt pulsates under his touch, you're on the brink of your release. He kisses you whole to contain your moans and stops moving his hand once you hit your high, feeling your hand clawing at his shoulder.

As it gets suffocating staying under the cover, he retracts his hand and put the duvet away. He hovers above you and tenderly caresses your face with his knuckle. 

"I'm so happy that you're with me," he tells you just in case, what he just did, did not quite deliver the message to you.

You put both hands around his neck and pull him close, sending him collapsing on top of you. You turn your head to only give him a chance to capture your lips in a rapturous kiss.

Felix doesn't even think about the money at that moment. All he thinks about is you, you, and you.

-

FELIX: Let's think about the money later, when it's time.

-

It's his bad behavior last night that makes you act super careful today. You're sitting on the far end of the sofa even though he's patting the space next to him.

"Why are you sitting so far away, babe?"

You shrug and adorably pout, "I'm setting uh... a safe space?"

He laughs at your excessive effort to not create another damage to the prize fund, "Come here!" He insists.

"I wouldn't do anything," he promises, "at least not in here."

You refrain from coming at him and remain where you are, shaking your head at him. Felix eventually comes to you and puts you on his lap.

"I didn't mean to break the rules," he explains, "I wanted to show you how much I like you."

You're poking his freckled cheek with your index finger, "we have to be good from now on."

He nods in agreement, "I agree."

You hold his chin and turn his head to face you, "I'm serious!"

"I'm serious," he convinces you.

You cover his mouth with your hand, "then stop pouting your lips at me."

He chuckles and puts your hand away, "My lips have always been like this."

You put his hand to cover his mouth this time, "From now on, you have to talk to me like this."

He refuses to obey, then puts his hand away, "No, I don't want to."

You try to get away from him but he's quick to hold you down, not letting you off his lap.

"Where are you going, mmh?" He's tickling your neck with his nose.

-

FELIX: Lana called us to the cabana and I am shitting it because of what we've done last night.

-

"Somebody better not ruin my good mood," Cole says once he's seated.

Felix shoots an uneasy glance at you and you turn his head away, avoiding looking him in the eyes. Nothing wouldn't change, he's ready to defend himself and you for what he did.

"There has been a breach of the rules."

Lana doesn't dillydally, she goes straight to business, and by business, he means putting him at a stake and about to set him on fire.

Heidi looks at everyone and coo, "Who's been bad?"

Felix remains calm despite his heart feeling like about to jump out of his chest. It's always better, to tell the truth fast than prolong the pain.

"We kissed last night," Felix blurts out.

"Again?" Laura asks with eyelids fluttering.

He takes a deep breath before coming up with his first defense, "I was so happy last night and got carried away, it felt right in the moment to do so."

Cole gives him a death glare, "Was that it? Just a kiss?"

Felix hates to disappoint him but he can't lie, he doesn't have a good poker face.

"Something else also happened last night," Felix's voice goes lower than it already is.

"Oh, no..." Killian exclaims next to him.

Lana takes control of the situation, "Last night, the two of you kissed multiple times."

Cole's eyes widen and are about to pop out of their sockets.

"But that's not all they did," Lana continues.

Here it is, Felix squeezes your clasped hand and braces himself for what's about to come.

"They're engaged in a prolonged, manual gratification."

-

FELIX: I'm not sorry for what I did but I admit I feel bad for letting everyone down by being selfish.

-

"You have cost the group a total of $33.000."

Felix turns to you, seeing you wince in both pain and disappointment. But he appreciates that you don't blame it all on him even though it wouldn't happen if he didn't lead you to it.

"I'm speechless as to how much we've lost money this fast," Heidi says with her voice heavily tinted with disappointment.

"The prize fund stands at $86.000."

Everyone gasps in shock and face-palm hearing the announcement.

Cole shakes his head and sighs, "We lost more than half of the money, fuck... sake..."

-

FELIX: Hearing it makes it real and I genuinely feel bad.

-

"Today, I asked you to respect my rules but instead of building deeper and meaningful confections, you have continued signs that you may not be here for the right reasons."

Felix's heart drops and his head goes straight thinking that he'd be sent home tonight. He holds your hand tighter because this probably would be his last to do so.

"Therefore, I'm setting you the ultimate test."

Oh? He can breathe a little knowing that it's not elimination.

"To see if you can adhere to my retreat rules under the most trying of circumstances."

You slightly shift on your seat and scoot closer to him.

"Tonight, you will spend the night alone in the private suite."

-

FELIX: I'm screwed. I don't trust myself, that's the problem.

-

It doesn't take a genius to know that everyone is too haste to pull a conclusion: that Felix will fail.

"To be honest guys, I've always been the one who initiated it but not tonight," Felix makes a promise to himself and everyone.

"I'll not break any rules," he states and hopes that no one hears how his voice is quivering at the end of the sentence.

"If you did, that would be the most disrespectful thing you do to us," Cole says.

Felix raises his hand as if he's making an oath, "I promise."

"Please make your way to the private suite!" Lana orders.

-

FELIX: The pressure is on but it's the only way to prove that we have a real connection.

-

You jump onto the bed the second you both entered the private suite.

"Oh, it's so nice," you sigh, laying on the bed with a sheer dress on and looking at him with dreamy eyes.

"Stop looking so sexy," he says, getting on the bed and lying next to you.

The bed is much softer than the ones in the shared bedroom and covered in silk sheets. He looks around and sees sex toys, condoms, and even lubricants provided at the side of the bed.

"What do you want to do first?" You ask with a sultry voice.

Felix is not sure if you're being playful or trying to seduce him. Either way, he decides to play along with you, "First, I'll take your clothes off."

"Yep."

He glides his hand down your curve, "Then I'll give you head."

"And I’ll return the favor after," you continue with a sly smile.

That gets his eyebrow raised in excitement, "And after that…"

"And after that?" You repeat his words then bite your lower lip.

This is a dangerous game but Felix wants to test his limit, sees how far he can go, "We'll do some more foreplay, use a sex toy or two," he's eyeing the selections of sex toys on the bedside table.

You delightfully hum and turn over to lay on your stomach, "And after that?"

He takes a deep breath as he can vividly imagine it in his head in real-time, "Sex, " he lowers his hand to the curve of your ass, "Lots and lots of sex," he shamelessly adds.

You locked in an intense gaze with him and purposely lower your voice as you ask him, "What are you waiting for then?"

-

FELIX: Lana, what makes you think it's a good idea to put me in a room with her and not do anything? [Shakes head in disbelief]

-

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[cosmicstrawberrycake]

HAIII okay buttered noodles r 10/10 what :0 ummmm I forgot what I was gonna ask hold on

HAII!! thank u for reminding me to post this oneshot!! somehow!! 0_<

(thank you for the buttered noodle appeciation <3!!)

cashier!hange zoë meet cute!!

part two maybe!! :3 i'll be back in a little bit with a cowboy!hange request!! i've had this one in the drafts for a while hehe ^^ (divider creds to @/cinnamoncafe!!)

part one

hange tapped their fingers on their register, absentmindedly glancing around the empty convenience store. soft bossa nova was playing in the background, soothing their brain into mush. it didn’t help with how hot the sun was- the whirring of the A/C practically coaxed them into nap time.

they needed to stay awake though. to see you.

about 3 months ago, the janky automatic doors had opened to reveal the most stunning human being they'd ever seen- which just so happened to be yourself.

you hadn’t done much to win their affection, but the simple way you had strolled in, bought a snack, and literally just complimented their hair made Hange fall head over heels in love.

it embarrassed them that they barely knew anything about you- how could someone be so deeply in love and so utterly clueless at the same time???

that didn’t matter now though. what mattered now was that their watch them it was 3pm- the exact hour you’d be showing up.

Eand sure enough, two minutes later, you strode into the shop, shooting Hange a smile that made their knees turn to jelly and their heart skip a concerning amount of beats.

oh gods- what were they going to say?? internally, Hange cursed themself heavily. they were a scientist for heavens sake- shouldn’t they be prepared for any outcome??

they followed your slow figure throughout the store closely, resting their hand on their palm like a little kid making googly eyes at their crush.

when they heard the sound of your shoes clacking against the tile floors, Hange immediately sprang back up to assume their usual cashier position.

nervously, they shot you a grin as you placed your items on their counter, trying their best to seek as normal as humanly possible.

“hey, you’re hange, right?” they perked up hopefully. “levi’s friend?” a fist of disappointment punched them square in the face.

yet another gorgeous girl was going to ask them to set her up with levi ackerman- Hange’s best friend and fellow bandmate.

mentally letting out a deep sigh, they responded.

“yeah, that’s me. why’re you asking?” they playfully quirked up one eyebrow. “wait, wait, let me guess- you want me to set you up with him?"

almost immediately you made a fake gagging noise, much to Hange’s surprise. “sorry, sorry!! that’s kinda rude of me. he’s just like… not my type. if you get what I mean.”

hange thanked whatever generous deity had blessed them today, because OH MY GOD YOU WERE QUEER!!!

“oh, yeah no, i totally get that. i swing that way myself.” they chuckled, scanning another one of your items. “but- why would ya ask about Levi if you didn’t want to fuck him or something?”

you gave hange a quick once-over with a look of disbelief, like they’d just said something absolutely outrageous.

“i knew you guys hung out and- i wanted to get closer to you.” intense eye contact ensues. “you seem like a cool person and… we knew each other in highschool, so it’d be cool to reconnect.”

hange’s brain immediately stopped working. you went to the same school as them??? surely they would’ve remembered someone as breathtaking as you being in the same vicinity as them!!

“oh, for real? I don’t really remember highschool at all!” a plain lie. they could tell you every single detail about every day they were in that building since freshman year.

"wait, actually?" you raised an eyebrow at them. "are you sure? i was in, like, all of your classes every year. we did tons of projects together too..."

shiiiittttt... how were they going to salvage this??

"cooool. man, i wish i could remember you, you seem really interesting..." hange sighs dramatically and leans against the counter, putting on their strange nerd charm as much as possible. "if only there were some way for us to connect again, after all this time..."

they deeply exhale once more, halfheartedly scanning the last of your items while looking up at you through their oval shaped glasses.

"if you want my number you should just ask for it, dork." you giggled at their antics, sliding forward a crumpled piece of paper from your pocket.

for about a solid minute, hange stood there, staring at the piece of paper you had given them.

was this actually happening?

"oh, sweeeeet! thanks."

they stood there smiling like it was the medieval times they'd been given a dozen cows or something.

now, hange was frozen. which you hadn't prepared for.

it seemed they had two ways they could be excited: the first way was the most common, where they ran around screaming while flapping their hands, a triumphant glimmer in their eyes.

the second way was... this. they would be staring at something unblinkingly, a impossibly wide smile plastered on their lips, completely silent.

"uh... hange? you alright there?"

they look up from the note, the blinding sunlight from the dirty store windows making their irises look like deep, dark pools of honey. cliche, i know.

"yeah! yeah- i could never be better, honestly." hange clears their throat, trying to look as unflustered as possible.

"well, i've gotta go. got some errands to run before i crash tonight." you shoot them a quick smile- they try not to melt. "you'll call me later, won't you?"

hange tried their best to hold back their wide grin, nodding as they slid forward the plastic bag full of your goodies.

"i'll see ya later, cutie."

the second you left the store, their entire body immediately relaxed and an unfamiliar warmth creeped up onto their cheeks.

for the first time in forever, they are absolutely smitten.

---------

[sorry if this isn't very good !! i'm going thru a yucky writer's block, so this was just a quick thing i needed to put out, hehe ^^]

[peanutpotpot]

Happy Juvia Day(?)

Here's another entry for GruVia Month 2025 Week 1: Birthday. Another brain rot and fluff! I wrote this at 2 AM because I cannot sleep and I just had to write and post it before I forget and lose motivation hahaha

Word count: ~1, 600 | Rating: r13 | Language: English

--------

It's almost 12 midnight when Gray arrived in his apartment. He turned on the lights and noticed that his place was clean and tidy, especially since his clothes were not on the floor, and that's enough of a clue that his girlfriend was in his apartment.

Actually, he wished she was in his place when he decided to catch up on the last trip of the train. He was so tired, he went on a solo mission, but he really wanted to go home and rest with Juvia. Gosh, he's been out for four days and he cannot think of anything else but to be with her. He's getting sappy.

Assuming that she's in his room, he quietly opened his bedroom’s door. And there she was, silently sleeping. Gray sat next to her and made a quick peck on her forehead before going to the bathroom to take a shower.

Feeling refreshed, he put on a new pair of boxers and lay beside his sleeping girlfriend.

“Welcome home.” He heard his girlfriend whisper as she turned in his direction to wrap her arms around him with her eyes still closed.

Finding her antics adorable, Gray made a quick kiss on her lips.

“I'm home. Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asked and he felt her head shake as she nuzzled her face to his chest.

“Juvia felt your kiss on her forehead so she waited for you as you took a shower.” She finally looked at him and smiled.

“How's your mission?” Juvia asked.

“It was fine, it was harder than I expected but I finished it with no major injuries,” he replied as he made little kisses on her neck.

“You're early, you're supposed to be going home tomorrow morning,” Juvia sighed as she continued to appreciate the way he makes her feel.

Gray stopped and went on top of her.

“I don't know, I suddenly had this feeling that I have to go home today.” Gray frowned.

“I didn't miss any important events, did I?” His question made Juvia giggle.

She reached for his face with her hand and caressed one of his cheeks.

“Nope. It's another simple day.”

“Really? I know it's not our anniversary. But I don't know, something's off.”

Juvia wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer for an embrace. Gray leaned forward, finding comfort in her embrace.

“Is this why you came home early?” Juvia asked as she played around with his hair.

“Hmm.” Gray hummed as he closed his eyes. The tiredness of his body slowly started kicking in again.

“I even bought a cupcake on my way here just in case I forgot something.”

“You bought Juvia a cupcake?” Juvia chuckled.

“Hmm, I don't want to come home empty-handed,” he replied with a yawn. Juvia's touch was lulling him to sleep.

“Well… maybe because it's Juvia's birthday?” Juvia said nonchalantly, announcing the information as if it's not a big deal.

Suddenly, Gray’s tiredness was gone and Juvia felt his body stiffen.

“Gray-sama… go back to sleep.”

Gray straightened up, lifted his upper body to check if he heard her clearly.

“What do you mean maybe it's your birthday?” Gray frowned, looking intently into her eyes, looking for answers.

Juvia smiled and caressed one of his cheeks.

“Well, it's technically yesterday but it's not a big deal, Gray-sama.” Her reply made his frown deepen.

“It's your birthday and I didn't know.”

“Juvia doesn't mind.”

“I do.” Gray insisted.

Juvia offered him a sweet smile as she noticed the guilt in his eyes.

“It's your birthday and I wasn't here to celebrate it with you.” Gray sighed. He felt horrible for not being present.

“I shouldn't have taken that mission,” Gray whispered guiltily. He could not even look at her.

“No, Gray-sama. Look at Juvia.” Gray was still lost in his thoughts. “Please?”

Gray looked at her and Juvia didn't know how to feel. Guilty for making him feel guilty? Or happy because he's concerned about her feelings.

“Juvia doesn't mind because she doesn't really celebrate her own birthday.”

“But why? It's the day of your birth. I could at least buy you a gift.”

“You bought me a cupcake.” Juvia just shrugged.

“Juvia…” Gray complained at her answer. “It wasn't enough.”

Worrying that he might continue feeling guilty, Juvia pushed her lover and pinned him to bed and slightly kissed his lips.

“Well, for Juvia, today is—”

“You mean yesterday?” Gray said sarcastically. Juvia just sighed.

“Yesterday was just a normal day to her because she doesn't think her birthday is worth celebrating.” And before he could react to her statement, Juvia pecked his lips again as her sign of shutting him up.

“Juvia knows it's an important day but Juvia doesn't really have any experience of celebrating her birthday, you know? Juvia never told you because to her, it's just another day. Sure, she's grateful to be alive for another year, but she's always been grateful to be alive every day.” Juvia leaned into Gray's chest.

“Especially when she knows she can finally be like this with you.” Juvia chuckled. “She's been through a lot so she's treating every day as a special day. Her birthday is special, but it's as special as any other normal day.” Juvia grinned, which made Gray smile. Finally getting much better, getting assurance from her.

“So please stop being guilty? She didn't inform you to make you feel bad, she informed you so you know why you feel off. She's fine not celebrating it because she's happy to be alive every day and she's happy to be with you. Okay?”

“I love you.” That's what Gray could only respond with. He didn't know what else to say. He knew that sometimes his girlfriend’s worldview can be unique from his. But he was there to support and accept it.

“I love you too,” Juvia replied, kissing him passionately. “Now go back to sleep. Juvia knows you're tired. We can talk again tomorrow.”

—

Juvia woke up with the smell of sugar and buttery aroma. She slid her hands to her side and realized that her Gray-sama was not on her side.

It's weird for her Gray-sama to wake up earlier than her. Curious about what he's up to, she quickly cleaned up, and went to the kitchen.

As she expected, it's her Gray-sama… and he's cooking.

“What are you up to?” she asked, which startled Gray. He was too focused on what he was doing that he didn't notice her presence.

“Oh shit.” Seeing him slightly panicking, Juvia went closer but was stopped.

“Stay there!” Juvia raised her eyebrow at his request.

“Um, you can sit there and I'll just finish this.” Gray pointed to a stool near the kitchen counter. “This will be quick. Geez, you're up so early.”

Juvia chuckled at his statement.

“Are you trying to surprise Juvia with breakfast?”

“Yeah but you're up. Good thing I'm almost done.” Gray didn't even look at her, too focused on his activity. Juvia noticed that he's writing something.

“Alright.” Gray brushed his hands. “Done.”

Gray turned around with a grin and started singing,

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday my dear Juvia. Happy birthday to you!” Gray sang as he went in her direction, carrying a tray of food.

“Thank you, darling!” Juvia thanked him with a kiss on his cheek. “Ohhh, pancakes. Yum!”

“Well yeah, I figure that cupcake is not enough but it's too early for a birthday cake so… pancakes.” Gray smiled sheepishly. “I hope that's alright with you?”

“It's more than perfect. But—”

“And before you say more, I understand what you were trying to say last night. You treat your everydays as special days but I realized that I can make your birthday, your normal day, a more special day.”

Juvia's eyes widened at his statement. She could not believe his words.

“I figured that you may treat your birthday as your normal day, but I can make it, hopefully, a more memorable day compared to your other special normal days.” Gray grinned.

Just when she thought nothing could make her fall for him harder, oh boy, she was wrong.

Juvia's heart was full. This man is just unbelievable.

“Juvia? Why are you crying?” Gray asked his girlfriend with worry. “Did I do something wrong? Is this too much?”

Juvia shook her head. “She's just happy, Gray-sama.” she continued, wiping her tears away.

Gray smiled at her.

“Well then, make a wish.” Gray pulled out a candle and was about put it on top of the pancakes. “Oh shit, I brought the wrong one.”

Curious, Juvia took a look at the pancakes.

“I forgot to write the word ‘day’ on this one but I rewrote it but I think I panicked when I noticed you were already awake.” Gray blushed, brushing his cheek with his finger. “Should I bring the correct one?”

Gray accidentally only wrote ‘Happy Juvia’ using chocolate syrup on the pancakes he made for her.

And with that, Juvia laughed. A heartfelt laugh that sounded like music to Gray’s ears.

“I'm so sorry, Gray-sama, but it's so funny.” Juvia laughed so much that tears formed in her eyes.

“Happy Juvia!” Juvia cracked again as she read the text on her pancakes, which made Gray laugh as well.

There they were. Early in the morning laughing over a silly mistake.

“There's nothing wrong with this, Gray-sama. It completely describes Juvia now… she's happy. Today is a normal day, a normal day with a Happy Juvia.” Juvia looked at her love in the eyes and grinned. Gray could not help but kiss her on her lips.

“Before it gets soggy, make a wish, Happy Juvia!” Gray said and Juvia nodded with excitement.

Happy Juvia made a simple wish. She wished her normal days would never end. Normal days where her beloved Gray-sama would never fail to make them more special.

The End.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Marcus

Pairing: Marcus (Pike, Moreno, Acacius) x f!reader

Word Count: 6900+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I saw a post from @pimosworld innocently asking for a Marcus bachlorette style fic and, while this isn't exactly right, this is what my brain came up with. Shoutout to @mermaidxatxheart for listening to me ramble and helping me, as well as @vanemando15 for being a cheerleader!

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Marcus Moreno Masterlist

Marcus Pike Masterlist

Marcus Acacius Masterlist

“Thanks for coming to Level Up Comics!” I smile at the customer as I hand them their bag, a quiet grunt all I get in return before they head out the door, the little bell jingling with their exit. I stretch, walking around from behind the counter and heading back towards the display case where several boxes sit in front, unopened figurines and collectibles pouring from them. My family and friends thought I was crazy for opening a physical media store in this age of digital products. They said no one would come in let alone want to actually buy “this crap.”

But here I am, a few years after opening, and I’m doing pretty good for myself. There are still collectors out there who want their favorites in case something happens to their files. They want the figurines from the original manufacturers, rather than printing them themselves. I can’t blame them. There’s something different, something magical about reading the printed word, having a figure of your favorite character that was made decades ago by something other than a 3D printer in someone’s basement.

The bell jingles and I yell out a greeting, shoving a few more figures in the back of the case before standing and turning, a pair of dark brown eyes meeting mine. I can already feel the smile on my face. 

“Hi, Marcus!” Shit, was that too enthusiastic? If it is, he doesn’t let on, his own smile shyly spreading across his face. “How…how are you?”

He rubs the back of his neck with his large hand, his eyes darting away from mine. “I’m..I’m good. You?”

“Good. That’s good. I mean, I’m good. Good. It’s all…good.” What the fuck?

He chuckles lightly, looking anywhere but at me. “Good.”

We’re both silent for several moments. He’s so hot. Way out of my league hot. And the weird thing is, I don’t even think he realizes just how attractive he is. 

“Did my back issue of X-Men come in?”

“Oh!” I slap my forehead. “I almost forgot! Yes. Let me get that for you.” Trying desperately to hide the heat in my cheeks, I quickly walk around the counter, kneeling to sift through the special order pile. 

“You got more figures in?”

“Yeah,” I yell from my crouched position. “There’s a few bins in the back I haven’t emptied yet. Feel free to have a look!” 

“Thanks.” I hear him shuffle off towards the back of the shop just as I locate his order. The door bell dings again and I stand, smoothing down my jeans. A man stands at the counter, his bright blue eyes roaming up and down my body before her plasters on the most ingenuine smile I’ve ever seen. 

“Hi. How can I help you?” I ask him as I place Marcus’s order on the counter.

 “Hi beautiful. I’m looking for a comic.”

I internally sigh. I already know where this is going. It happens several times a week.

“Well you’ve come to the right shop. What are you looking for?”

He chuckles, intending to be endearing. It isn’t. “I’m looking for a very specific issue of Hawkeye. You know who that is?”

Seriously? “I am very familiar with Hawkeye. Are you?”

He scoffs. “Haha. You’re a funny, pretty thing. Anyway, I’m looking for a specific run of his. Do you know what that means?”

Anger surges through me and I grip the desk to ground myself. Out of the corner of my eye I see Marcus at the back of the store, standing and turning towards us but not moving. He’s even hot in my peripheral. 

“Which run are you looking for? Or are you wanting a recommendation?”

He laughs, the vile sound of it echoing off the walls. “A recommendation? From you? What would you know? You’re just a pretty little girl.”

A clunk from the back of the store and I see Marcus trip over one of the boxes. He doesn’t go down, but turns to fix the boxes that he’s kicked over. The man in front of me is unphased, his eyes still on me, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

“Well?” He spits out. 

I look at him, giving him a smile. “Well, if you’re asking me personally, my favorite run is the Matt Fraction run. Not only because of his artistic style and great story, but the fact that they weaved in Clint’s deafness, drawing him wearing his hearing aids, and even doing an entire issue completely in American Sign Language. A great story and representation of a marginalized community from, in my opinion, one of the best and most relatable Avengers. Now, would you like the individual issues, an omnibus, or the digital version?”

The smug smile slowly fades from his face, his eyes hardening. “You don’t have to be such a bitch.”

“I do when customers act like a bitch.” 

He grabs the fliers on the counter and throws them at me, turning towards the door. “Fuck you and this place!” He tries to slam the door behind him but he fumbles with the handle, flipping me off one final time before disappearing around the corner. 

I sigh, bending down to pick up the fliers. A hand reaches out, large and inviting, carefully helping me pick up the scattered papers. I look up at him, at Marcus, sweet Marcus. Who had heard all of that. 

“I’m sorry Marcus. I shouldn’t have lost my cool.”

He hands me the small stack he’s collected, meeting my gaze. “You don’t have to apologize for standing up to a sexist asshole. I should be the one who’s sorry.”

I combine our stacks, both of us standing as I tap them on the counter to even them out. “Why should you apologize?”

“I should’ve come to help,” he rubs the back of his neck, his ear turning slightly pink. 

I shake my head. “No, Marcus don’t worry about it. I get assholes like that all the time. Really, it’s ok.”

He shakes his head. “It’s really not-”

To my own surprise, I reach out and squeeze his arm. “Really, I’m ok. Thank you, Marcus.”

He smiles at me, opening his mouth to say something, but his phone rings from inside his pocket. “Sorry. Sorry.” He pulls it out, tapping on the clear screen only he can see. “Shit. I have to take this. Work. You sure you’re ok?”

I smile, trying not to show my sadness at his leaving. “I am. Hope everything’s ok at work.”

“Thanks. I’ll uh…see you around.” His eyebrows pull together as his phone rings again, his eyes moving down to the screen before he turns around and heads out the door, pausing to give me a wave through the window before he disappears into the crowd. 

I’ll never meet a man owning this shop. They’re either assholes, taken, or hopelessly out of my league. My own phone beeps and I pull it out, scanning the clear screen with my reservation confirmation. I tap the confirm button, nerves flooding my system. 

I can’t believe I signed up for a virtual version of the bachelorette.

—----

I closed the shop early and rushed home to get ready for that night. I arrive promptly at 7pm as they requested, the giant VIRTUAL LIFE logo on the side of the building bathing the sidewalk in bright blue light. I take a deep breath and walk inside, the door disappearing momentarily to let me in before reappearing behind me. The front desk assistant guides me to a row of elevators and instructs me to head to floor 28. I’m the only one in the elevator, the lights illuminating each floor as we pass it. The elevator stops and the doors open to a small waiting room, black leather couches and chairs surround a coffee table with several tablets, each loaded with some form of entertainment. While it looks like there are windows, if you look closely, you can tell they’re simulated, trying to grant us as much privacy as possible. Although, I think it may be more about guarding their own technology secrets. 

“Ivy?” a woman calls my name from the only doorway in the room aside from the elevator. I nod, standing and smoothing down my dress. 

“That’s me.”

“Right this way.” She leads me into another small office, a simple desk with a single chair for me to sit in. She sits opposite me at the desk, tapping in mid air at what I’m assuming is the computer screen in front of her. 

“Ivy it says here you signed up for the bachelorette program to meet a compatible mate. Is that correct?”

Swallowing down my embarrassment, I nod. “Y-yeah.”

She taps a few more things. “Great. Do you know how this works?”

“You guys take a picture of my brain and show me a story?”

She chuckles, the first time her professional demeanor has broken. “Almost but not quite. After we’re done here, you will be taken to the simulation room. You’ve already done your physical-”

“Yeah. They had me put on this suit and they captured the way I moved. Motion capture, I think?”

She nods. “Yes that’s it exactly. This way, your avatar inside your world will move like you. It helps with immersion.” I nod. “They also completed your brain scan to find the most viable dates and look of mate that you are searching for. You indicated you’re looking for a male mate, is that correct?”

I nod. “Yeah. Yes.”

She nods. “Alright. If you’ll go through the door, someone in scanning will take you. Good luck!” She gestures to a door on the opposite wall from where we entered. I go through the door and another woman greats me, leading me to chair where she has me sit and get comfortable. It reminds me of what the dentist chairs used to look like except way more comfortable. She turns to me, holding a helmet with different little lights on it. 

“Any questions?”

“Yeah. So what will he..I mean, how will I know who he is?”

“You will just know. Sort of like in a regular video game, where you can tell who is important to talk to.”

“Ok..but…will he look like him or?”

That’s reassuring. But then she interrupts my thoughts. “Don’t forget, he will be there too also looking for you.”

She shakes her head. “Your algorithm took in your scan and will give him the appearance of someone you find appealing or comforting. We’ve found it’s easier to accept someone if they have an outward appearance you’re already familiar with.”

“So you base connections on personality as opposed to looks?”

She nods. “Those relationships have the highest success rate, so yes.”

“And after, will you show me who he is?”

She nods. “In the simulation, you’ll go on 3 dates. They may be something as simple as communicating in an office to being a superhero or even traveling back in time. The algorithm takes both of your likes, dislikes, and desires and places you in situations. The more you play along and immerse yourself, or yourselves, into the simulation, the better the outcome, meaning a closer connection. And don’t worry - you cannot be physically harmed. And if it’s too much or you want to stop, you only need to say “End simulation”. Please be aware that time may pass differently in the simulation, but you will only be in for an hour. After, you will both meet here, in reality, and can determine whether you’d like to continue with a relationship or not. Any more questions?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. Not at the moment, anyway.”

She places the helmet on my head, the nodes all changing different colors as it comes in contact with me. She squeezes my shoulder and I look up at her. “Just relax and try to go with the theme. It’s more fun that way, ok?”

I nod, wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. “Yeah. Makes sense.”

“Good luck!” She taps a button on her clear screen and my vision fades to black so just a couple of seconds. But then I’m blinking awake, the tips of my fingers tingling and my toes feeling like they just woke up. My vision starts to clear and the room comes into focus. I’m sitting at a bar, a fancier bar, which explains the nice dress. As my hearing levels out, I realize that the blonde man to my right is talking to me, his body shifted in my direction. His grey eyes are slightly unsettling. This can’t be my mate, can it? 

“...and so I had them fired! Can you imagine? I asked for my steak to be medium and they brought it out medium well. That will teach that guy to listen to the customer at his next job.” Grey Eyes chuckles and takes a sip of the drink in front of him. He nods towards the glass in front of me. “Do you want another?”

“What? Oh, uh sure.” 

He flags the bartender down and orders a rum and coke before making a show of leaning on his beefy arm against the bar. “I’m glad you finally saw reason and agreed to come out with me tonight.”

I give him a small smile. “Yeah. Same here.” This doesn’t feel right. Maybe they got it wrong? Someone bumps into me from behind and grey eyes catches me, glaring at the person who bumped me, who had moved on. 

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah. It’ll take more than a drunk asshole to bring me down.” Grey Eyes laughs, picking up his glass and holding it up towards me. “I’ll drink to that.” I glance down to grab my drink, only to find it wasn’t there. I look back at Grey Eyes and see him frozen in place, the smirk on his face completely gone, his glass shaking as he continues to hold it in mid air. My glass appears next to his, lightly clicking against his glass. 

“Now that’s not very nice.” That voice. I would know his voice anywhere. My entire body relaxes as I turn to look into the dark brown eyes that I love so much.

“Marcus!” I exclaim, ignoring the vein in grey eye’s neck that’s threatening to pop. Marcus on the other hand, looks good. I mean, he always looks good to me but he’s dressed in nice black pants and a light blue button up shirt with matching black jacket. I’m not sure how a blue shirt makes his brown eyes pop, but it does. Marcus pushes his black frames up his nose.

“Hey, Ivy. Sorry to interrupt your date, but this not so kind gentlemen put a little something in your drink.”

“He what?” I blink rapidly a few times, trying to pry my eyes away from him. Grey Eyes vein relaxes somewhat and he sputters out.

“Fuck you man! We’re on a date! What….what are you doing to me?”

Marcus shrugs. “Well, you wanted to make it so she can’t move. Only fair if I return the favor.” 

Grey Eyes goes to say something else, but then seems to recognize the man standing next to me, his eyes going wide.

“Aren’t you the guy that can move metal?”

My eyes snap to Marcus, who is smiling. “I see I have a fan.”

Grey Eyes tries to backtrack. “Listen, man. I’m sorry. I was just trying to get her to loosen up a bit. Have some fun.”

Marcus looks at me, his brown eyes wide and smiling. “Ivy, do you wish to continue your date with this man?”

“Nope.” I pop the “p” sound at the end of the word. “Little hard to have fun when my date is trying to render me unconscious.”

Marcus waves the bartender over. “Call the police. This man is in possession of Freeze Me.”

 A handful of what felt like seconds later, several officers show up and arrest Grey Eyes, who barely puts up a struggle. I turn towards Marcus, my smile stretching my face as I grab his arm. “My hero.”

His eyes dart around the room, his arm coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “It was nothing.”

Gosh he’s so cute when he does that neck rub thing. Wait. Gotta play along. 

“Is Marcus the Metal Bender actually acting shy around me?”

He chuckles nervously and I think how perfect they coded him. Like he was picked out of my brain. Which I guess he was. 

“Just trying to be respectful.”

I wish he wouldn’t. Wait, are we even allowed to have sex in here? Wow, getting ahead of yourself there, Ivy.

“Youwannagetoutofhere?” He speaks so fast it all comes out in a jumble and I cock my head to the side. 

“What?”

He swallows hard and I can’t help but watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Hell yeah I do.” 

—-

It’s a few weeks later, or at least it feels like some time has passed. That lady did say time passes differently here. Now I’m in an office building, a stack of files in my arms, walking down the hall. A quick glance around tells me I’m in the Heroics head quarters. Marcus appears from around the corner and looks up at me, smiling and walking towards me. But then a man in a much too tight blue suit with a glowing M on it joins him, Marcus’s shoulders sagging slightly as he gives me a sad little wave.

“When are you two going to go on a date already?” A woman with bright pink hair appears next to me. 

“I uh, me?”

She slaps my shoulder. “Yes, you Ivy.” She leans in closer to my ear. “Aren’t you the one who confessed to having a crush on our heroic leader?”

I will the heat rising in my face to not show. “Oh, I uh..I-”

“You know he likes you too.” Her jaw drops when she sees the confused look on my face. “Oh don’t tell me you can’t tell! That man can hardly look at you and he’s taken down alien forces by just staring at them.”

She feels like a close friend so I go with it. “Yeah, ok I like him. Keep your voice down, will you?” She continues walking with me to the end of the hall where I deposit the stack of files into several slots, each one making a small whoosh sound as they’re whisked away to their destinations.

When I’m done, Pink Hair gently grabs my face and turns me to her. “I love you, Ivy. You know you’re like the sister I never had. So please listen to me when I say ask that man out before something happens and you regret not ever trying.”

Well fuck. That is…really spot on to reality isn’t it? 

I never get a chance to answer her as the entire building suddenly shakes, alarms and lights screeching and illuminating the halls. One of the tall filing cabinets starts to topple in my direction and I can only look on in horror, frozen in place by the rumbling building. I throw my hands up, as if that’s going to stop it, but nothing happens. The cabinet is laid gently on its side, floating to the ground. 

“Come on!” I look up into those dark eyes, Marcus extending his hand to me and helping me to my feet. “We have to get out of here!” He tightens his grip and somehow leads us out of the chaotic building out into the streets. Which is also nuts. People are running everywhere and…wait. Is that an alien spaceship coming towards us??

Marcus pulls me behind a wall, glancing around it and waving hand signals to a small group of heroes across the street behind another wall, Pink Hair amongst them. He turns back to me, his face full of worry as he starts to take his shirt off, exposing…not skin but a uniform? No. His hero costume, which is a black shirt,and arm bands. He sees me staring down and he shrugs. “I normally have a tach vest but we’re out of time.” 

“Should you not go out there without one?”

Marcus shakes his head. “I have to support my team. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I mean, people safe.”

“You could just stay here with me? The others can handle-” my words are cut off by a giant laser beam cutting through the street, coming directly from the ship. 

He takes my hand and squeezes it. “Get yourself to safety. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I need you to be safe.” Another laser beam, the sound of some smaller buildings crumbling to the ground. “Go! Get to safety!” He releases my hand. 

I get a glimpse of the deep craters that lasers had left in their wake through the cement of the street, the piles of rubble and dust, and this spurs me on.

“Marcus?” He leans against the wall, readying himself, but he looks at me. 

“Yeah?”

Mustering up my courage, I lean towards his hunched body, softly planting a kiss on his lips. When I pull back, I see his chest heaving, his eyes moving between mine.

“Please make it back, Marcus.”

Before he can answer, the ship comes into view and his team moves out, following behind Miracle Guy, who had flown right up the ship and started punching it. Marcus’s head whips around, assessing the situation and I squeeze his arm once more before quickly moving out of the immediate area. I know I should move more, but I can’t get hurt so… 

The fight that ensues between the ship, the aliens inside, and the Heroics team is nothing short of brilliant. They may argue in the halls, but in the field, they all take direction from Marcus, who is a brilliant leader, playing all of their strengths. Marcus bends metal like it’s made of playdough, a beautiful dance of destruction and strength. Then the ship comes crashing down, everyone moving out of the way except-

“Marcus!” I emerge from my hiding place at a full run as the smoke around the alien ship that’s currently scraping along the road as it crashes and envelops Marcus. The ship stops, groaning as it falls back and lays still, no other life forms moving or detected on board. For a few moments, no one moves. Then Marcus emerges from the smoke, his face soot stained and a small gash in his shirt and along his cheek, but otherwise unharmed. 

“Marcus!” I run to him, his eyes finding mine, his entire body relaxing as he realizes I’m safe, just before I launch myself into his arms, our lips crashing together as my right hand fists in his shirt, my left tugging on his hair. Miracle Guy wolf whistles but I couldn’t care less. I feel his tongue gently lick out and I part my lips, letting him take whatever he wants. But before it can go any further, my vision starts to blacken, the last thing I see is Marcus’s eyes going out of focus as he succumbs to his own transition to the next simulation.

—----

I find myself blinking awake for the second time in what feels like weeks, but I know in reality it’s only been maybe 20 minutes that I was in there. The tips of my fingers and toes are tingling, my vision and hearing clearing and I find myself in…a breakroom. Am I back at the Heroics? The slight weight in my hand takes my focus and I realize I’m holding a cup of tea. I must be on my break. I walk towards the floor-to-ceiling windows, looking outside. I’m not back at Heroics - the cityscape is all wrong. I hear the door open behind me and I turn, the smile on my face widening as Marcus enters the room. His hair is shorter than the last simulation. And his face is clean shaven, which is a look I’ve never seen on him before. Not that it matters - he’s beautiful no matter what. I wonder what he’ll look like when he’s a little older. Probably hot as-

“Hey, Ivy.” Marcus smiles down at me, grabbing his own mug and pouring a cup of coffee from the carafe. I notice the FBI logo on the mug and figure that must be where we are.

“Hey,  Marcus.” I take a sip of my tea as we both watch the other. But then the door opens again, another agent walking into the room. He claps his hands together, looking at us.

“Hey! Congrats on finally cracking that art case, you two! 8 months is a long time to do an operation like that. Great work!” He shakes both of our hands as we thank him. Marcus catches my eye and, with a small movement, jerks his head towards the door. I nod, thanking the other agent again and follow Marcus out of the tiny breakroom and down the hall, stopping in front of an office door labeled MARCUS PIKE. I wonder if that's his name back In reality. He extends his arm towards his office and I head inside, smiling at him as I do, noting how his eyes dart around, that hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck as he closes the door behind him.

“I uh…great work, Ivy.” 

“You too.” 

He puts his hands in his pockets and finally looks me in my eyes and he nods once. 

“Listen. Do you..uh..I mean, would you like to…this is coming out all weird.”

I squeeze his arm and he looks down at my hand, taking a deep breath. 

“Would you like to get something to eat?”

My stomach erupts in butterflies. “Like on a date?”

The redness in his eyes spreads down onto his cheeks as he stammers, gesturing around vaguely. “No! No, not uh. Not a date.”

I can feel my face falling. “Oh.”

“Uh, unless you…uh…unless you want to? Make it a…a date?” His eyes are wide and bright, like a damn puppy. 

I smile, tucking some hair behind my ear. “Yeah. Yeah, I would love to go on a date with you, Marcus.” 

His smile is bright, lighting up the room. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

He let's out a sigh of relief. “Great! I found this great pancake place.”

Pancakes? I love this man already. “It's nearly dinner time!” I can't help the small giggle that I let out. 

“Yeah, well you said your favorite food is pancakes. And they're open 24 hours.”

He remembered my favorite food? I'm so screwed. Damn this program is good. “You're right! I'd love to get pancakes with you. On a date. For a date. When will this date be, by the way?”

“Oh. I uh, would it be too weird if we went tonight? Is that too soo-”

“No! I mean, yes! No it's not too soon. I'd love to go!” If my heart could stop beating through my chest, that would be great. It's not that I'm some young girl getting asked on her first date. I just really like Marcus. Or whomever this is. My heart sinks at the thought of it not being the Marcus I know in reality. 

“Great! I'll pick you up at 7? Unless you'd rather meet me there? I don't want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Marcus, we just spent 8 months together on assignment. I think I'm comfortable around you.”

He chuckles. “Fair point.” His office phone rings and he apologizes to me, picking it up. I wave ro him and he mouths “See you at 7!”

—----

He picks me up with a flourish of flowers, all long legs and button up shirt that I'm really dying to unbutton. If that's even allowed here. 

But what's more than that is the conversation. I thought I had learned everything about him over the last 8 months. I was very wrong. 

“You were a bass player in a band?” I ask, choking on my drink.

He laughs, holding his hands up in front of him. “What can I say? I wanted to meet more people.”

“I bet you had all the girls hanging on you.”

Marcus shrugs. “Not really. They all want to date the drummer or the singer.”

“Really? Not the sexy bass player?”

Marcus takes too large of a sip of his drink and coughs, pounding his chest. “No, not the…you think I'm sexy?”

I set my fork down and meet his eyes. “If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be here.”

We spend several moments, just looking at each other and then I remember that he's not a simulation but a real person on the other end of those eyes. My heart squeezes thinking about how it won't actually be Marcus. Despite that thought, we really get along well and the conversation flows freely between us. Sooner than I’d like, we’re leaving the small diner, heading back to my place. Marcus parks in my driveway and turns to me, his eyes bright and wide like a damn puppy. We had been talking about books, one of my favorite topics.

“..and I know everyone complains that Tolkien takes 20 pages to describe a flower, but I really love that attention to detail. It makes it more immersive for me. One of these days I’ll get you to read Lord of the Rings!” I tap my fingers on his bicep to emphasize my point.

Marcus rubs his neck. “I uh…I already have.”

My jaw drops. “What? When??”

“When you told me it was your favorite book. Or books, I should say.”

I think back. “Marcus, that was…months ago!”

His eyes meet mine, the light from the street lamp outside adding a sparkle to them. “You said they were your favorite so…I read them.”

My stomach does flips, my heart beating. “You read them all for me?”

He nods. “Even the Silmarillion.”

I can’t help it. This is so fucking hot. I reach out and grip his shirt, pulling him to me, his soft lips pressing against mine, the heat between us quickly rising. His large hand cradles the back of my head, holding me to him as his other hand settles on my hip, squeezing it lightly. We make out for several minutes, Marcus kissing and nipping a path down my neck. 

“Do you want to come in?” I ask breathlessly. 

He pulls back and looks at me. “I do but-” he whispers. “Are we allowed?”

“I…I’m not sure. We could try to-” 

But then my vision starts to blacken around the edges, and before I pass out, I hear Marcus say “See you in the next one!” before we both black out.

—----

Now familiar with the way I wake in these simulations, I wiggle my fingers and toes, giving myself a moment to figure out where I am. The room looks…ok, this isn’t from my time. Roman decor and pillars line the grand bedroom, some food laying on a small table for, I’m assuming, me. A quick glance down shows me in a beautiful white garb and I marvel for a moment at how clean it is. 

BOOM!

The ground shakes and I duck down, completely caught off guard. It’s only after the boom dies down that I hear it - the distant sound of clanking swords and men yelling. I walk to the small window set into the wall and look out, my brain taking a moment to process the scene in front of me. 

I’m several floors up in a sort of round building, a castle I realize as I see the lower tiers, more square in their shape. I’m sure the grounds would have been beautiful, if it weren’t for the massive amounts of soldiers fighting in the streets. I can make out their bodies, the blood, sweat, and dirt spreading almost like a disease. Spear and swords burst from chests or stomachs, limbs separating from their bodies to be lost to the throngs of soldiers. The seem to be moving closer to the castle, which I’m not sure if I want to happen or not. Turning on my sandaled heel, I walk to the door, pressing my ear against the wood to listen. Hearing nothing, I try to open it. Nothing. The door doesn’t open or move, the handle locked into place.

Well, fuck. 

Before I can try and figure out how far down the next ledge is out the window, or if I can even fit out the window, I hear a commotion outside my door. It’s not loud, but I hear a man gurgling and sputtering, a small bit of crimson blood pooling under the door. I grab an iron rod by the fire and hold it up, preparing to defend myself. I know they said I can’t be hurt but damn this feels real. The door opens and a man walks through, wide, muscular shoulders under his Roman armor, Medusa proudly engrained on the front. I lunge, the iron rod above my head but the man turns and grabs the rod and I  would’ve fallen to the floor if he hadn’t caught me.

“Ivy! Here you are!” 

It’s him. Marcus. Only he’s older, probably closer to 50. Grey streaks in his curls and patchy facial hair only accentuate his beauty, a new scar forming across his nose, bleeding lightly down his face. He’s covered in dirt and blood and ash, but I throw my arms around him anyway.

“Marcus! Thank God, what’s going on?”

He cups my face, pushing my hair out of my face. “You are so beautiful, my love. I would bring every army from the entire world to rescue you from this horrid Emperor.” And then his lips are on mine, urgency behind them, but a desire to show me how l much I am loved. This man apparently started the battle outside, for me, and still wants to make sure that I know how important I am to him? 

“We have to flee. Come!” But before we can leave, the door flies open and 5 guards file in, grabbing Marcus and holding his arms out to his sides. I pick the iron rod up from the floor and run towards them, unsure of what I would do but I know I’ll beat the shit out of them until they let him go. But another hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, twisting it hard so I drop the rod. I look up into the eyes of a man that I’m assuming is the Emperor, his golden robes flowing around him. He looks vaguely familiar, like that one asshole from the comic shop.

“Now, now my dear. What were you planning on doing with that?”

I open my mouth to reply, but then he smacks me across the face and I slam down onto the floor. Ok, that hurt. Didn’t she say I wouldn’t get hurt? Maybe she meant I wouldn’t die. Marcus swears, cursing the Emperor for hitting me. 

“Are you alright, my love?” Marcus grunts as the men punch him in the stomach. 

“Marcus, Marcus, Marcus. You’re kind are dying out. I told you to just accept your fate and take your banishment, but instead, you stayed behind and fell in love with a woman. How…stupid.” Marcus tries to speak but he’s punched again, his body hunching over. I try to stand, but then I’m drug up by my hair, the Emperor’s fingers digging at my scalp as he pulls me to his side. 

“This one?” His eyes rake over my body. “She is attractive, I’ll give you that. Even if she is attracted to a brute like you.” I jerk my body, trying to get out of his grip but it’s too tight, my hands gripping his arms to try and get some relief from the stinging at the back of my scalp.

“Let her go. You can kill me, I don’t care, but let her go.”

The Emperor looks from me to Marcus, a sick smile spreading on his face. “I didn’t go through the trouble of kidnapping her just to have you give up. So I’ll tell you what I’ll do instead. LOOK AT ME!” The Emperor bellows from beside me, Marcus’s eyes moving from mine to his. 

He steps closer to Marcus, dragging me a little beside him. “Such a wild man. How about this: you watch as I take her. Then, I’ll drive my sword through her belly so she can slowly bleed out on the floor. Only after the light has left her eyes will I either kill you or lock you up to suffer the rest of your days. How does that sound?”

The darkness that settles over Marcus is unforgiving, his eyes hardening in resolution. He growls and screams, throwing the soldiers off him as he grabs his sword from the ground, swinging it and taking out all of the soldiers in only a handful of moves. He spins, aiming his sword at the Emperor, who has now moved me in front of him as a human shield, a knife to my throat. 

“I’ll kill her, Marcus! You are too weak to save her!”

Marcus’s gaze moves briefly to mine and I release my weak grip on the Emperor’s arms, letting them fall to my side. Marcus shifts his body ever so slightly before he throws something from behind his back. The object whizzes past my cheek, scratching it slightly as the blade buries itself in the Emperor’s neck. He drops his knife and clutches at his throat, his eyes wide with fear. He crumbles to the floor and sputters for several moments before his body stops moving. I run to Marcus, throwing my arms around him again. He grunts and I remember the soldiers hitting him.

“Are you hurt?”

He clutches his side. “I’ve had worse.”

“You are so fucking hot right now,” I speak quietly to him and he smiles. “I’m covered in dirt and blood and sweat.”

“Stop trying to turn me on more I already said you’re hot.”

He laughs but then inhales sharply at the pain. “I’ll take it, I guess.”

“No, that’s my job.” I bring my lips to his, pushing him back towards the chaise lounge chair on the other side of the room. He sits, pulling me onto his lap as I straddle him, my dress getting dirty as I shift my hips. He groans, his large hands sliding up my bare thighs under my dress and fuck! My vision starts to blacken and I hear Marcus whine out some expletives as we both are brought out of the simulation. 

—---------------------------

Hopefully for the last time, I blink awake, wiggling my fingers and toes as I look around the room. The helmet is gently lifted from my head and the woman that had put it on me moves into my eyesight.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m here.”

“Good. Wait just a moment for your body to fully catch up. Do you have any questions?”

“Yeah why did you stop us having sex?”

She studies me for a moment. “It is not allowed in the programming.”

“I cross my arms. “Well your programming is stupid.”

She chuckles so quietly I thought I’d imagined it. “The algorithm wants you and your mate to match based on personality and emotions, not just physical.”

“I can guarantee you it wasn’t just physical.” 

She helps me stand and I shake my limbs out, full feeling returning to them. I smooth out my dress as she readjusts my hair. “Are you ready to meet him?”

Him. My reality man. “Y..yeah.” 

“Right through that door. He’s already waiting for you.” I move towards the door but she stops me. “I just have to say, I’ve been doing this for years and I’ve never seen a situation like yours and his.”

I furrow my brow. “What do you mean?”

So smiles softly. “So…rooted in reality.”

Yeah that’s not confusing. But she doesn’t explain further, turning back to the chair and helmet, starting to clean them. I take a deep breath to steady myself and open the door, walking through and closing it behind me. The man on the other side of the room, my mate, turns towards me and we both gasp.

“Marcus?”

“Ivy?”

We meet in the middle of the room and I cup his face, Marcus tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Is it really you?”

He nods. “Yeah. You? Real?”

“Real.”

He pulls my face to his, kissing me deeply, but then pulling back a moment later. 

“I’ve been dying to ask you out since forever. I never thought I’d be paired with you, here of all places.”

I cock my head to the side. “Why didn’t you ever ask me?”

“Have you seen yourself? You’re entirely out of my league.”

“I’m fairly certain it’s the other way around.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but I put my finger on his lips. “I think we went through several first dates in there. Plus, we’re already friends. Can we…that is, can you take me back to your place first? Then we can eat?”

Marcus’s eyes darken, his hands finding a place on my hips as he pulls me against his body, letting me feel how into that idea he is. 

We’re married a year later.

—----

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[s-4pphics]

mourn. intro. (e.w.)

INTRO. 

WORD COUNT: 4.1k

WARNINGS: streetracer!ellie, dealer!oc, backstory lemme cook, parental death, mentions of overdoses, funeral, baby ellie :), oc intro… cackles evilly

A/N: last post til eid lol 

pay zakat. feed a family this ramadan. k!ll zios.

SEPTEMBER, 2009

ANGUISH floods Ellie’s chest as she witnesses decorative rosewood being lowered into the sopping dirt. It’s cinematic; watching herself from a bird’s eye view, floating above her own body. Her brain cranks at an alarming rate. Churning in attempts to convince her that she’s not actually here, staring dead at her mother’s casket. The grass sludges beneath her shoes with every unsteady shuffle of her feet. 

There aren't many people around. Three of her mother’s former work friends, a service dog, and the officiant. They’re hardly acknowledging Ellie; no one would be able to stop her from leaping head-first into the ground due to the lowering clouds. Buried and suffocated by grass and mud, a feast for the maggots, but loved eternally. Every cell in Ellie’s body thrums with anxiety. Just when she trusted that her mother’s health was improving, she woke up, shrouded in ice next to a limp body and an empty pill bottle on the nightstand. The same ones her mother took to sleep throughout the night. 

That was three weeks ago. She doesn’t remember calling 911. 

Her best friend — her only friend is gone. And it’s permanent. This isn’t like how her mother used to scavenge the streets until dawn searching for another job before Ellie woke up. She’s not coming back to crawl into their shared, warm bed, sleep for half an hour, then help her get ready for school. No more oatmeal in the mornings. No laughter. No joy. No symmetry. Ellie’s life is forever scattered. Beaten to death until she’s leaking venomous, black blood.

There’s a man that keeps staring at her with pity: familiarity crushes her every time they lock eyes. She kind of remembers him. Somewhat. She almost forgot her shoes before coming here. He seems more upset than her. At least externally; Ellie’s rotting from the inside. 

Her mother’s chamber is completely submerged underneath dirt within the next few hours. The man from earlier is much closer now. 

She jumps when he whispers, 

I owed your mom a favor. 

OCTOBER, 2009

Ellie hates Joel. Hates her mother for leaving her with him. Hates herself for not being able to save her from the claws of addiction. 

Joel’s home is always silent during the day. He gave Ellie the grace of letting her stay home until the Spring, but it’s too quiet. Music never plays and they never talk, and it’s driving her to madness. The silence makes her itch. 

Until the sun sets. 

She already has trouble sleeping. Her insomnia combined with the thunderous clanking that blares from the garage every night is enough to get her sobbing into her pillow until the sun rises the next morning. One night, the noise had gotten so uncontrollably loud that Ellie barged into the garage to shout every curse she recalled her mom screaming into the phone before bedtime.

She didn't expect, however, to see Joel’s legs extended out from underneath her mom’s wrecked ‘57 Chevrolet. Ellie could hear him grunting as cranking and banging of metal took over the space. 

… What are you doing? 

Joel rolls out from beneath the car on a creeper, face confused and smeared with dark sludge. 

Why’re you up? 

It’s loud. She snaps. Why is her car here. 

Joel sighs. Just trying to fix it up. 

For what. Ellie eyes the cracked windshield. She somehow remembers how a rock hit it on the freeway when she was six. Her mom was livid. She can’t drive it anymore. 

Joel’s face twists uncomfortably. It’s almost comical; the seemingly boiling child stands at a whopping four-foot-three with her fists clenched, burning holes through her bright yellow Spongebob pjs. Her glare sharpens when he mumbles, 

Kid… 

So you stole her freaking car? Her eyes swelter, brows hauled downward and hands in fists. He sits up straight, palms up in surrender, wrench in hand. How’d he even get back into their old house?

No, I — He rushes, She asked me to try n’ get it started again. That’s all. I… I shoulda asked you —

Ellie’s not sure why she’s so enraged, but she’s hollering with a pointed index in his direction, berating him, degrading him with sobbed vulgarities. Pushes him hard when he rises to comfort her. Eyes him with so much disdain that he flinches. 

She hates him. She misses her mom. 

The guest room door slammed shut with the click of a lock. She screamed for her mother for hours. Voice shrieking so loud that the neighbors came knocking after the first fifteen minutes. Cops pounded on Joel’s door and proceeded to conduct a wellness check on the household after an hour. 

Their presence made Ellie swallow her scorn. Ellie’s already received a small taste of what it’s like to be in the system. She vowed to never reenter as if her life depended on it. 

NOVEMBER, 2009

Joel made Ellie chocolate chip pancakes for her birthday. 

Breakfast is silent, per usual. Light clinks of utensils on silverware and breathing are the only proof of life in the room. Ellie refuses to touch the squared slices of pineapple. It was her mother’s favorite, despite her complaints of an itchy mouth after every juicy piece. 

Your mom and I… 

Ellie pauses, skeptic eyes connecting with Joel’s. He’s treading light, she can tell. The nerves in his fingers are evident; The sorrow in his eyes suffocates her. Joel’s gaze drops onto his plate at the scrutiny he receives from across the table. 

She’s a good friend of mine, He mutters before his lips turn downward. Was. 

Ellie snorts humorlessly, Way to rub it in. 

Joel’s eyes flutter shut as he sighs, I’m… Sorr—

Were you the one she told? Her tone is sharp. Unforgiving. I heard her on the phone a few days before she did it. 

A storm flurries in the man’s gaze. A familiar one; It’s identical to when she would catch her mother in the middle of night talking to herself with a bottle in her hand. The winds in his pupils take her back to one of the darkest times of Ellie’s life. Maybe they were closer than she assumed. They look identical when they’re guilty. 

I didn’t—

But he did. He’ll never forget being on the other line with Ellie’s mother as she attempted to keep her cries to a minimum. Her croaked wails terrified him. Left wounds in his chest as his heart raced. I can’t do this to her, She’d said, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t! … Please… You owe me…

Joel did what he could over the phone. Made promises to her that he couldn’t keep, reaffirmed how much Ellie loved her. How badly she needed her mother, and eventually eased her sobs into pained whimpers. He believed the calmness she exuded prior to ending the call was a sign of understanding of her importance, but it wasn’t. Her mind and body merely accepted her fate. She was dead two mornings after. 

And Ellie was a witness to it all. 

Ellie’s eyes roll and sickness floods her, so she stands, You’re a liar. When you’re ready to tell the truth… You know where I am. She doesn’t bother to push her chair in, clean her dishes, pause at his calls of her name. Her feet stomp through the hallway, marrow searing beneath her skin. The guest room door slams shut and she breaks, guarded by the plainness of the beige walls while tears flow. 

She knows he knew. Why else would her mother leave her with him? 

-

-

- 

When Ellie got up to use the restroom hours later, she nearly tripped over a teddy bear holding a birthday cake. With candles. She’s never received a gift before. 

She doesn’t tell him that she slept for an hour with it hugged to her chest. 

The noises in the garage halt for a week. Ellie still can’t fall asleep. Joel has the same problem, she’s discovered. She finds him sprawled out on the couch one night, burning holes through the roof with a picture frame in his arms. She watches him silently for some time, perched behind the main wall of the hallway. 

Hey. 

Joel’s acknowledgement earns a gasp followed by scuffling, and he snorts. He sits up and sets the dusty frame on the cushion in front of him, noting how awful Ellie is at hiding; It makes him smile. Barely, but he’s endeared; Her entire arm was exposed. He can even see her duck-shaped slippers from where she’s tucked behind the wall. 

Ellie. 

She doesn’t come out, and he sighs. His heart twists painfully when he hears a wet sniffle. He’s up and moving when a guttural sob echoes from the hallway, crouching down in front of Ellie with her knees squeezed into her heaving chest. Joel’s heart cracks at her flushed cheeks drenched in salt. Talking won’t calm her, he knows it, but he’s unsure of what else to do. Ellie… isn’t an emotional kid, but he hushes her, attempts to cradle, apologizes softly. 

But when her wet eyes pinch open, she unravels and falls into him completely. Her arms squeeze around his neck in a deadly grip and she cries and coughs and whines for her mother. Joel holds her just as tightly as she hangs off him. 

We're gonna be fine, sweetheart. He mumbles, and he feels her head shake in denial, tucked in the crook of his neck. His knees wobble, and a soothing hand rises to caress the back of her head; He's never seen a kid this hopeless. It makes him wonder. 

What the hell did she witness in that house? 

Ellie’s always struggled to fall asleep alone. 

Her need to be coddled to dreamland was always a mystery to her mother. Skin-to-skin was a normal trait for infants, toddlers, maybe even a little over, but at age ten? Eleven, and unable to fall asleep without the feeling or knowledge of a loved one present? There was only one time where she recalled her mother carrying her to her own room to rest, but the second the door clicked shut, she was up. Awake. Alert and exposed to harm. Or, at least that’s what she convinced herself. 

She crawled into her mother’s bed minutes later and snoozed throughout the entire night. She didn’t hear the end of it when the sun rose. 

Joel doesn’t berate her, though. 

I can’t sleep by myself, she’d said to him after she calmed from her breakdown in the living room. They’d sat on the couch as he rubbed a comforting palm down her back, her small ones coming up to wipe her wet cheeks. 

How come? 

She scoffed, Scared of the dark, I guess? I dunno. I just can’t. 

Joel hummed in understanding. 

I’m like that, too. Sometimes. 

Ellie snickered wetly, You’re old, though. It’s not the same. 

Joel scoffed and snatched his hand away in mocked hurt. I’m not old! 

The gray hairs say otherwise! 

That night was the first time they ever laughed together. The first time Ellie laughed since her mother’s death, and it carried on until she knocked out beside him on the couch. 

For Joel, though, he couldn’t rest. Not when Ellie favored his daughter that much. Whenever he feels as though he’s progressing, letting go of grief, something life changing — disastrous — forces him right back to square one. Meeting Ellie was one of those moments. He tried to keep his weeping to a minimum as he held her sleeping form, eyes glued to the picture of him hugging his baby after her first soccer win. 

DECEMBER, 2009

It’s New Year’s Eve, and Ellie’s trapped inside the garage with Joel. 

Watching him tweak her mother’s vehicle has aided her raging boredom… To a certain degree. When he starts getting nerdy and raving about car parts, she tunes him out, despite the slight interest she’s taken with underneath the hood. 

The connecting wires, the bolts, the valves and cranks and this manual makes absolutely zero sense—

Can you stop dillydallyin’ around n’ hand me that? 

Ellie’s gobsmacked reading is paused when she passes Joel the manual, dark sludge-covered hands staining the fading paper. She cringes. 

Ellie watches silently as Joel inspects the contents, nodding to himself as his eyes flicker from the vehicle to the booklet, mapping out his next moves of attack. His eyes sparkle and curiosity sparks in her. 

Did you fix it? 

Joel only murmurs to himself, and Ellie’s eyes roll. She inches closer to him and waves a hand in front of his eyes. Hellooo? Is it gonna start? 

… I think so, kid. His head shakes in disbelief, If I can get that transmission replaced, it might be alright. 

Ellie’s brows furrow… What on earth is a transmission? 

I’ve been workin’ on cars for a while. I can tell you now that finding such an essential part for a model this old is gonna be tough. Might cost me an arm n’ leg. 

Ellie shrugs, You’ll figure it out, old man. 

He stares down at her blankly, Gee, thanks. Hand me that wrench, assistant. 

Ellie mocks glee on her skip to the rolling cart, Gosh golly dang, does this mean I’m hired? 

He jokingly snatches the tool from her extended hand. Little bugger. And just like that, you’re not gettin’ paid. How’s it feel to be outta funds? 

WAAAAAAA—

Ellie’s fake wails earn her a deep holler. 

Ellie oversees Joel until the clock strikes twelve, following his line of vision on every rusted compartment of the vehicle. Stood attentively at his side as he pointed out the carefully crafted machinery, listing their parts despite Ellie’s protest of forgetfulness. There are so many names for everything; Building cars seems so complicated, but curiosity sparks in her. She starts to think: maybe cars aren’t so boring. 

Another sleepless night for the both of them; Might as well commit to movie night. Fireworks are still going off in the small neighborhood hours later. The booming colors in the sky makes Joel's teeth grind. Reminds him of the time he took Sarah to Santa Monica Pier. 

Joel? 

Mhm? 

… What favor did you owe my mom? 

Thickness builds in his throat the second Ellie mentions her. He sets the large bowl of chocolate-doused popcorn onto the coffee table, reaching for the remote to turn the movie down. Not off, down. Ellie hates feeling like she’s being scolded. 

Joel doesn’t look at her, but her eyes are glued on the side of his face. 

Umm… He scratches his face, Did your mom ever mention me to you? Ellie denies with a hum. 

Joel’s mind whirs back to the first time he met Anna: sophomore year. He was exhausted, drained, barely making it, but despite being miserable, he still cared deeply for his education. He studied until his eyes burned, jotted down notes until his hand cramped and the librarian was gently urging him to head home. 

She… We were friends in college. He fonds, We met at an ice cream truck. 

Weird. Ellie notes causally, She hates dairy. 

… Yeah. She does. Joel coughs to mask the brokenness in his voice. 

Anna was… a genius, to put it lightly. Academically gifted to an intimidating degree. Her mind was a camera; She’d scan one excerpt from the thickest novel once and still manage to repeat it word for word years later. They had comms together; Her voice sounded like tweeting birds whenever she recited her prepared speech like it was nothing. She was an emotional speaker, entranced everyone in the room, and always ended with a question that forced students and professors to self-reflect. Joel wouldn’t call it a crush… Merely admiration. Envy. He was motivated whenever he left comms. 

He’ll never forget the image of her, sweating and worn, carrying what seemed like a twenty-pound backpack — all stuffed with calculus books — while ordering a can of Sprite from the humming, beaten down truck. Anna didn’t leave after the vendor handed her the soft drink. She simply turned to Joel, inspected him from head to toe, and turned back to the vendor. 

I’ll cover whatever he gets, too. With a thumb aimed at him. He nearly choked. 

A free snow cone couldn’t halt the racing in his chest. 

I know what you are. 

What, He questioned without a stutter. 

You fix cars? Anna quirked a brow at him. Joel’s brows pull downward. How did she know that? He’s fixed one car since he’s been enrolled. His buddy pulled up in front of his dorm asking for a windshield repair. But he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. I dunno. 

The green-eyed girl scoffs and sips from her nearly emptied can. 

You down to replace a tire? Some jackass thought it would be funny to leave a rusty nail in our parking lot. 

Our. She must have roommates… or lives where he does, he thinks. For how much? Not a beat missed. 

Her shoulders lift, I dunno. How much does a tire cost? 

Depends on the model. What d’you drive?

A chevy. Don’t ask the year, I’m not sure. It was a hand-me-down. 

A slight pause between them before Anna suggests with a sigh,

Come see ‘er. 

-

-

-

Thar she blows. 

Joel can’t help but snicker at the woman in front of him, posing right next to her teetered vehicle. It’s quite charismatic; the bright pink bumper stickers, the crisp turquoise paint job, the slight scratch on the trunk. It’s nice. Classically vintage; it suits her. 

A beauty, he notes with his eyes locked onto Anna’s. She gives a hum in agreement. 

Revive her, if ya don’t mind. I’m desperate and can’t sue, so. Joel nods and inspects the damage on her tire. The air is nearly fully gone, and it’s making her drive slump. 

Tire shouldn’t be more than thirty-five… Gonna have to head home for some stuff. Willing to wait an hour? When he turns to her, they’re shoulder to shoulder. 

Anna smirks, Whatever you need, mechanic. 

My dad, Joel corrects, He taught me the basics when I was like… twelve. 

Her voice lowers, Good on him… Earned me a discount, eh? A hand claps down on his shoulder and gives it an encouraging squeeze, and he revs to life. 

He swears the tips of his ears are red hot, Sure… minus that deposit. I needa twenty for emotional damages. 

Fuck off. Her eyes are soft, Might never go to the shop again. You’re officially my car fixer-upper. Fuck these grease-balls n’ their price spikes. 

Joel snorts, You get into that many goddamn accidents? 

She leans in closer, and his throat closes. Slams shut. Turns to dust. 

You’ll find out, mechanic.

That’s why you’re spending so much time on it, Ellie notes at Joel’s retelling before a harsh gasp escapes her. Dude, were you in love with my mom or somethin’?

The man stutters and coughs, No — what? I told you she was a frien—

Ellie snickers with a judgmental point, Yeaaah, yeaaah, I know how these things go. You sucker! 

What the hell — I’m not a sucker… And what things—

Anna and Joeeel sitting in a tree! — 

A pillow smacks Ellie dead in the face, and she topples over in cackles. Joel rubs deep in his temples. Ellie would’ve loved Sarah. Two little bullies who feast on his suffering. 

No more storytelling. I’m going to bed. 

You can’t! Remember? Ellie hollers as tears fall from her eyes. She coos at Joel when he lifts himself off the couch and down the hall, trying to mask his small smile. 

Aww! C’mon, old man, it was a joke! 

I can’t wait for you to go back to school, ya vermin! 

-

-

-

An exhausted Ellie creeps into Joel’s room half an hour later. She sighs in relief when she doesn’t hear snoring. Her mom was the worst when she was tired. She tiptoes across the carpeted floors until she’s in front of the unoccupied side of the mattress, stealthily adjusting the blankets and pulling back the sheets. 

She slowly manages to tuck herself in, fixing the pillows so her head rests on the cold side of the case, exhaling happily at the warmth defrosting her limbs. 

The second she dozed off, she yanked to consciousness by raspy sarcasm. Her eyes roll underneath her lids.

You can’t, either. Joel croaks, Remember?

JANUARY, 2010

Five days until school. Five days until misery. Five days until… strangers. Ellie’s skin crawls whenever she thinks about being an enclosed space with snot-nosed boys and soggy lunches. 

And math… Gross. 

Joel has been more than willing to postpone Ellie’s enrollment whenever she becomes anxious, but she always denies his requests. She’s grown to like Joel, but… he’s not the best teacher, especially social studies. Reviewing one of her old packets nearly gave him an aneurysm. She can’t afford to be homeschooled by him. 

What's been the best distraction from her impending doom? 

Binge watching Cars for the billionth time… And helping Joel patch up that blue Chevy. 

They celebrated their first victory last night for repairs, at least: Joel stuck and twisted the key to start up the engine, and it managed to stutter to life. For less than five seconds. The headlights barely came on and an old Foreigner record broke through the crackly speaker. They rejoiced with the brightest smiles as their hands slapped the dashboard before the vehicle crashed out once more. 

A glimmer of hope. A chance for reconnection. Anna’s sending them messages. The joy in that car shifted to grievance; Joel had to cradle Ellie in his lap as she wept into his shoulder. 

But there’s hope. Ellie wanted nothing more than to get this car working after that. Duty calls, though, and the alarm’s coming from a backpack. 

You got this, kid. Stop stressin’. 

Ellie, without a doubt in her mind, does not got this. 

Screaming children, muddy slides, bloody band aids; they’re all on the other side of that office door. Her worst nightmare has come to life, and she desires nothing more than to hide out in her mom’s car forever. The bag strapped around her shoulders matches the weight of a body. She refuses to let go of Joel’s hand as he speaks with the giggly receptionist who’s too happy to see him (what the hell), but it's okay; he’s holding hers just as tightly. Just as paranoid, apparently. 

She’ll be with Mrs. Lawson for the remainder of the year. Ellie hears the receptionist say over her pounding heart, She’s incredible! I’m sure they'll develop an amazing bond. 

Ellie’s palms are sweltering. Joel must feel it because his thumb nuzzles into her wrist. She’s not built for this. Maybe returning so soon wasn’t a great idea. She can’t do this without her mom. 

Cool backpack, Spidey, is said from behind her, and she stiffens instantly. 

She has a Spider-man backpack. 

Hush. An older man’s voice replies. Sounds strained. Stressed, but he only receives a light snicker from her in return. 

Ellie watches with squinted eyes as a young girl gets escorted towards the front of the office by… the principal, she assumes? He seems fancy in his suit slacks. 

You stay right here until I get your uncle on the phone, The suited man is stern towards the girl, who plops down on one of the waiting chairs. Backpack and all, You can explain to him how you swore at a teacher. I’m not dealing with this from you today. 

M’kay, Mr. Harris. 

Ellie observes the entire scene indiscreetly. Her stares are obvious, glued to the clearly agitated dean who stomps into his office. 

Where’d you get your backpack? 

Ellie’s stunned at your sudden whisper. She shocks herself when she quietly stutters,

Um… Walmart? 

You smile, I like it. I want one. 

Ellie simply nods, but gets paused before she can redirect her attention to Joel. 

Are you new? Your voice grows quieter when you look over your shoulder. Right at the principal’s door. I am, too. I just moved schools. 

This shocks the brunette. The new year just started, and you're already locked in the office with evidently angry staff. 

Yeah… I’m new. 

Something in your grin shifts. Ellie’s nails lock into Joel’s hand. … Interesting— 

Young lady! Did Mr. Harris give you permission to speak? 

You audibly ponder like the attendance clerk asked you to solve a riddle. 

No, ma’am. I apologize. 

Then hush. Not another word. 

Ellie watches you fold your hands politely, twiddling your thumbs. Your eyes don’t leave her backpack. 

Ready, kiddo? 

Her eyes finally reconnect with Joel’s, encouraging and chocolate, and she nods. He guides her to the office exit where her new life resides. Before their departure, she can’t help but take one last respectful glance over her shoulder. She finds you staring with a quirked lip and your wrist outstretched like your shooting spider webs at her. Ellie jerks her head forward and releases the breath she’s been holding. 

What a weirdo. 

tagggiiiiessss :3: @inf3ct3dd @fleshunger @sawaagyapong @elliesbitchh @aouiaa @elliesatchel @williamellieslilho @elliewilliamgfooc @bready101 @myluvforstarz

[mixiury]

Character(s): Wanderer x GN Reader

Summary: Just him falling in love with you

A/N: Sorry for disappearing for two years, I actually forgot about this account XD. I had this on my drafts, so i thought of posting it while i cook something new. I also plan to come back to writing, so feel free to send me any requests :)

To live for centuries means to see people come and go, all of them different in small ways but overall the same when you see them in the big picture. As time goes by, everyone just becomes stains in the wall, amusing when they first appear, at least until the novelty turns boring and plain.

They are all going to be washed away by the time anyway. Why should he brother on finding out a meaning behind their existence if they never mean to stay?

That same mentality is one he has kept for many years, slowly losing interest in everyone who he crosses paths, only finding purpose in keeping around those who can be of use for him. But you? You are not useful at all. Actually, you are not even boring, like most of the other mortals he has met. No, you are straight annoying. Frustrating.

Frustrating your tone to speak; unable to hide his irritation every time he hears your voice, never afraid to say your thoughts aloud for others to listen and making it everyone's problem, echoing through the deepness of his mind as a haunting melody that he just can't seem to get rid of

Frustrating your sense of humor; the same one that makes him wonder if there is any braincells left inside that empty brain of yours, and the same one that causes so many pity laughs and smiles to those around you, wishing that he was the one hearing your jokes instead so he could tell you on the face how unfunny they are.

Frustrating your eyes; lighting up with enthusiasm everytime you talk about something you are passionate about. Blindly sharing that light and joy that only you are capable of creating with anyone interested, not even realizing how easily it can be extinguished if left within the reach of others.

Because it doesn't matter how many times he tries to come with a logical conclussion, Wanderer simply can't understand how someone so gullible and naive has survived until now; for everyone he knew who was fool enough to remain soft over the progression of time ended up murdered at the hands of the reality.

Everyone but you, apparently.

That's what he can't wrap his head around.

You, somehow, against all odds, have managed to stay true to yourself without letting others hands drown you and, at the same time, without falling into the cruelty of this world. Soft but steady. Sparkling but constant. Defying everything he knows and everything he believed to be an absolute truth, the puppet finds himself in an endless internal conflict over you.

You have took a shape and color in the wall of his life that he had yet to see.

It's stupid how complex humans can be. He could almost hear you laughing at him for not understanding somethingas basic as humanity. But you don't do it. You never do. And that makes it all more frustrating.

Unable to get the answers he search for, trying to guess your hand in this card game that you are not even aware you are playing. The different possibilities run through his mind as he attempts to figure out your next move, reading between the lines for any hints and hidden meanings.

Maybe it is all an act you are performing. Maybe there is more in the surface than he can see. Maybe you are hiding your true self behind a facede he has yet to uncover.

There has to be something. It must be.

However, all his conclusions quickly discarded the moment your hand lingers with his, just like a soft breeze in summer days, able of take away all his doubts with just one touch; strong enough to blew away each of the cards on the table, only for him to realize that there was never a winner in the first place, for it was never a competition but only a way to spend time with you.

And it's frustrating. It's frustrating how you can just tear down everything he took so many years to build; How all this time he spent analyzing your every move over and over was for nothing.

But somehow, now that he is in the other side of the conversation, listening to the same unfunny jokes he has heard before, instead of pointing out all their flaws as he once wished, everything on his mind is how he doesn't want you to ever stop speaking.

To think you are the only person able to shine like that. To make him feel like that.

[mediumgayitalian]

Whenever you post your writing on here it genuinely makes my day because ITS SO GOOD. like genuinely your fics or one shots are so spectacular. You're definitely my fave solangelo fanfic author ever!! I just love how you describe things, and how you write the dynamics between others (and so much more, I can't think of it all off my top of my head but I have tons of positive things to say about your works!!!) It's all so well written and ties everything together in a very nice ribbon!

also p.s IF you don't mind, do you have any tips for writing? I've been trying to improve at it for awhile, and I have made some progress but I tend to struggle writing stuff revolving settings and how people interact with each others.

Otherwise that's all, love your works :)

thank you!! im not as confident in my descriptions but i do love writing dynamics. i am lucky to have so many in my life to draw upon. so thank u!!

as for advice!! i will tell u a secret. there are RARELY words in my mind. i am thinking about stories all the time -- genuinely all the time -- but they are almost always movies in my head. sometimes comics or animations, but really every idea i have is transliterated from movie to fic.

and like.......it kind of sucks actually. nothing i come up with ever translates as nicely as i would like it to to literature. there are some things words cannot convey, and it never stops frustrating me that what i write is not the same or as good as the movie in my head. (if i had a bajillion dollars, i would spend it all on movie sets and copyright fines. lol.)

however i've noticed that in the act of transliterating my brain movies to written fic, i'm pretty good at moving the 'camera' and writing dialogue. straight dialogue is easy -- i can just write down whatever convo i hear in my head -- the challenge there is the body language; i will never be able to use words to say what body language says but i have learned over time that certain deliberate movements can very clearly communicate emotions or even sentences. lemme see if i can come up with an example:

"I just -- well." Will scratches the back of his neck, staring out to the common. "It's gonna be pretty empty? At camp, I mean. So if you wanted to hang out." He looks back abruptly, eyes shining something hopeful and biting back a lopsided smile. "I would be amenable!"

like i have a very clear picture of what will is doing here. he is standing on the porch of the hades cabin, literally minutes before curfew, rocking back and forth in his scrubs he forgot to take off, avoiding nico's eyes as he asks him on a totally not-date. totally. but i have to pick and choose what motions to write, because 1) when you space out dialogue, even by a sentence, it reads as a pause between sentences and words. which is the point, a lot of the time, but if you describe too much between dialogue you'll have pauses where you don't want them, and 2) everything must be INTENTIONAL. if you describe a scene in intense detail, that means it will be important to the story. whether or not readers consciously know this, it is one of the rules of stories -- lots of details, lots of importance. you have to pick and choose. you don't want to overstate the importance of a gesture anymore than you want to understate an important one. and if you break this rule but overdetailing constantly, nothing seems important.

ANYWAYS.

the other part of that -- 'moving the camera', which i wrote for the setting piece of your question. when i am imagining stories in my head, when i'm watching them, i get a camera focusing on what's important. does that make sense? in film, the camera knows that you, audience, are watching. in a pov film -- like ferris bueller, or deadpool -- that characters know the audience is there and speak to the audience (percy does this in his books, too). but in most movies, the characters do not know that they are in a movie. they are unaware that they are characters. you, audience, are a voyeur, intruding on their lives, with the help of the invisible cameraman, who takes videos from their lives and brings them to you. the cameraman is your window. and you, audience, know, as a person yourself, that the story you see on the screen leaves out details of life (like using the toilet, sleeping eight whole hours, etc etc). so you understand, even subconsciously, that the cameraman only shows you scenes that matter, that the cameraman moves from angle to angle and shot to shot. i, writer, know this also. so when i am imagining these movies in my head, the camera in my mind shows me the important angles, the important scenes. characters say things in my head and the cameraman shows me the reaction of the characters around them, and then i know who to focus on, when the camera changes, when to move the camera around.

this is a very long winded and kind of metaphorical way to say a couple things that i will now spell out:

practice. ALL THE TIME. ive been writing an a nearly daily basis for the past four years. i don't post everything. the really early stuff was awful. but i improve because i PRACTICE.

learn intentionally. i have taken writer's craft courses, i have read essays and listened to writers talk. i don't just learn by doing, i learn by LEARNING. i learn from professionals. i know it doesn't seem like that but you didn't just magically learn how to write well when learning english. it is a skill and an art and there are specific actions that you need to do to write well. you have to look into them. you have to practice using them.

read/watch and NOTICE. i do not just read or watch for fun, although i do love to read and watch films. i look for symbolism, for details, for mannerisms. if something is really good, look at it again. what emotion is the character feeling? how do you know? what did they do to show it to you? how would you describe that character's tone of voice? why has the film chosen to show you this angle? what details are present in the paragraph? how does this character form dialogue? what does this character care about? how do you know? you need to do literature circle on the regular i mean it.

ENJOY what you're doing. i write for fun. i write for me, for my own audience -- although the attention i get on here doesn't hurt lol. it is so much easier to care about something you love. practice doing something you want to do, write because you want to see your own stories in words, not because you want to impress others. impressing others will come.

i hope that was helpful!! mwah!! good luck!!