#I can write my characters building and using a pipe bomb

[lucithornz]

Some people need AI to make their fics this isn't as cut and dry and you and your friends are making it out to be. It's a tool that helps people be creative. Please try to be more open minded

I really don't want to dignify this with a full response because I feel like I have made my points clear on this issue.

HOWEVER

It's all fun and games until you need your precious little AI to write a fanfiction about your characters building a pipe bomb

[emacrow]

So you know the movie Ponyo

What I'm really trying to ask is do you know the mother and the father are like a little thing where the mother looks like an epic Sea Goddess cuz she is and he looks like a sad sickly old man

I'm just imagine that Klarion and Danny

Like Danny looks like an epic beautiful star Death god powerful in the way he moves but it's subtle like he's slowly comforting you to death

And Klarion looks like a crazy witch boy with a cat who look like he's out right feral and about to throw a pipe bomb at you just because he can

I'm just imagining what happens is Young/Dark Justice is worried about Klarion he's been gone for a while and they're wondering what he's planning I imagine they're surprised when they see him with a Lazarus pit

It's a specially surprising when electric entity sticks their head out of the Lazarus pit and starts talking to Klarion as the JLD and YJL hide there waiting for Klarion into demand help our power they watch this being completely start flirting with Klarion

I imagine Klarion and Danny's conversation going like this

Danny: Hello there my amazing chaos what have you came to talk to me about this time

He puts his hands up to pick up Klarion and bring him closer to his face

Klarion: It's that stupid Doctor Fate it's like he doesn't understand too much balance can ruin the order of the world I might love chaos but that would cause a chaos I couldn't even control

Klarion sits down and Danny's hands rubbing his head on one of Danny's fingers as comfort

Danny: Oh my love I could always talk to him and get him to try slow it down a bit if that's what you need

Danny's face turns into one of concern as he says that slowly starting to move around in the bigger than normal Lazarus pit that Klarion found for him

Klarion: No starlight me and Teekl have that old fart handled how about you tell me about your day instead did you find any more stars how is the balance between life and death doing for you

Danny puts him back down as a twinkle goes in to his eyes as he lays down in Lazarus water slowly starting to swim around as he say

Danny: oh Klarion life and death has been amazing and there's a new Star nursery that I found out there it's just wonderful

After Danny says that he pauses for a moment and presents to go underneath the water he comes out looking smaller with white hair and still wearing the same clothing he was wearing when he was larger surprising Klarion by grabbing his hands

Danny: oh Klarion my dear I have an idea how about we let Dr.Fate have what he wants for once in his miserable life let him have order without the balance that he needs that should show him that he needs you should it not

Klarion takes a second to think through It after he does he grabs Danny's hands right back

Klarion: that's an amazing idea Danny I'll stay with you in the infinite realms let's see how Dr Fate work without chaos helping him keep the balance

After that Danny kisses Klarion on the cheek using the the Lazarus pits to take him and Klarion to somewhere called the infinite realms

I'm sorry this is my first time really writing out Klarion I don't know how to write out characters that well I hope it was good that is what I really like is YJ and JLD was just reacting to this conversation since like the plan was listen and find information

You bet damn right that Dr Fate would have trouble keeping the balance, and would probably have the justice league trying to find Klarion because he thinks he up to something but in reality Klarion is in the middle of deep space, playing around with the stars as Danny is molding and feeding the baby star nursery to build a new universe in the making.

Dani is probably with him doing looping loops playing with star dust while Dan beat up any asteroids that had bad bacteria and let some of the good meteorites in that has good bacteria, and frozen water inside of them.

By the the time Justice league figured it out, probably the Green lantern, Hal. He probably gobsmacked and godsmacked straight back where he came form accidentally by Danny's star fueled cape.

[olderthannetfic]

Now I'm wondering how countries like Japan and China teach literacy.

Since kanji / hanzi don't really have that much in the way of phonetic elements, they kinda have to teach them by memorization and I don't think they have many reading comprehension problems over there.

(Although both countries do have supplementary phonetic writing systems in the form of bopomofo and pinyin for China, and the kanas for Japan)

--

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RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

It's a little closer to teaching vocabulary than spelling, but the same kinds of principles apply: You teach the building blocks, like the traditional radicals, which aren't so different from teaching Latin and Greek roots in an English class for English speakers.

And, as a matter of fact, lots of those radicals do predict pronunciation, just not in every single case. They can also be clues to meaning, but again, not absolutely consistently. Many characters have a sound-cueing radical on one side and a meaning-cueing radical on the other. It's just that only some are still useful in the modern day, while others are more like the English word 'plumbing' where knowledge of Roman lead pipes explains why this word comes from the one for lead, but the root probably wouldn't help a kid learn the word in the first place.

One similarity to teaching phonics would be teaching students to tell very complicated and similar characters apart: you want to help a student spot all the little building blocks of the character and then spot the ones that are different, not just glance at the whole character and get a general overall vibe. If you do a whole look-based approach, too many characters are too easy to mistake for one another.

Remembering a bajillion Chinese characters is hard if you're trying to memorize them in a year and not all of elementary school, but I think people who don't read them underestimate how many component parts there are and how approachable they can be if you start by learning fundamentals, not just memorizing a few individual characters as though they have no relation to anything else.

They're actually pretty systematic, just in the way that English spelling is with its overlapping systems and historical artifacts, not in the way that highly regular Spanish spelling is.

Having taken a lot of Japanese classes, I will say that Japanese as a foreign language textbooks often do a piss poor job of this and totally do teach kanji in a sight words-y way... But my Mandarin class started with important foundational concepts that served me well in Japanese later even if I bombed out of Chinese class at the time.

Can you tell how irritated I am by all the foreign language learners who think characters are sooooo hard when, really, it's just their crappy textbook? Haha.

They're moderately hard in the way that learning a full adult spectrum of vocabulary is hard, but people do that for foreign languages all the time. The countries that use characters do tend to make sets that are smaller for certain kinds of applications, same as we have things like simple English wikipedia, but a literate adult will always know lots more, whether it's from their career in engineering or their predilection for historical romance novels.

Uh... anyway, the answer is "Bit by bit in elementary school, just like in any other country".

[whenwillderekhalebehappy]

so i just started playing fallout 4 ,,, here are my preliminary opinions

- lame storyline, i don't want to be married heterosexual. idc abt this fuckass baby either.

- fr tho, it feels like the devs just chose the most generic backstory they could think of so they could get that part out of the way. it's not interesting or good. moreover, if that actually happened to a person, they'd be traumatized and terrified, not running around looking for guns and stimpaks. like, it feels like my character doesn't even give that much of a shit that this happened. like ooh the world ended, my wife was murdered, my infant child was kidnapped, it is 200 years in the future, but yeah no i don't have any questions, ill just roll with it. LAZY WRITING!

- also: how does the survivor know that his baby is still alive. the story has him frozen, unfrozen to witness murder and kidnapping, frozen again and then unfrozen to start the game. how am i supposed to know when that kidnapping happened? like yeah it could've been recent but it could also have been 100 years ago.

- upon exiting the vault you immediately start like 11 quests. why?? for what reason?? i just got here??

- do not love that feral ghouls will just lay on the ground waiting for you to get close enough so they can attack you. 1. its annoying, you get ambushed every time. 2. why would they be doing that, are they sleeping? waiting? doesnt make sense for them to be doing either of those things. they're feral, they wander around attacking whatever comes near them, they don't lie down and wait for prey, thats just ,,, not how they work?

- i especially dont like that the ghouls also dont show up as hostile on the little navigation bar until they get up. the whole point of that is so i know if there's hostiles in the area. if all the hostiles just sneak up on you, there's no reason to look at it.

- the fact that you can just max out your SPECIAL stats kinda defeats the purpose of those stats. the point is that it allows you to pick strengths and weaknesses for your character, instead of it being skills you can learn. it adds difficulty and personalization.

- i genuinely don't like the "improved" graphics. maybe its because my pc is shitty and i have to run low quality, but i cant see shit. especially all the harsh shadows make it really hard to gauge depth and to see things on the ground (like feral ghouls waiting to attack you).

- why is VATS under Q. thats dumb

- follow up: why are we now using the enter key and arrow keys in addition to wasd. let me keep my hand on the mouse instead of constantly having to switch (update: after 10 hours in-game i found out you can also press E, still stupid)

- why cant i just go up to people and ask them shit. why do i have to wait until they want to talk to me.

- i do like the whole settlement building thing. ive been having more fun with that than anything else tbh

- it is nice that you can make radaway and you dont have to rely on scavenging or bartering for it

- they are harsh on the raiders. like i get that they're enemies but labelling them 'raider scum' is a bit much. like thats still a person.

- in the intro thing they say war never changes at least 3 times. i get it. dont overdo it.

- also in the intro, they just say the US ended ww2 by dropping the bombs on hiroshima and nagasaki which is a VERY BOLD statement about history.

- i've barely encountered anyone who's nice. ive met preston and his friends but beyond that its basically been nothing but raiders. where are the friendly npc's? it makes the whole world feel hostile and empty

- the variety of weapons and mods is ,, actually a little too much. i don't know the difference between a pistol and a revolver, let alone what a receiver is. the game kind of expects you to just , understand what all these things mean and how to best modify your weapons. I don't. i barely know what i'm supposed to be looking at. "um yeah i definitely prefer the hardened enhanced glowsighted tempered auto pipe revolver pistol over the hardboiled standardized incendiary double barreled shotgun rifle" <- statement dreamed up by the utterly deranged

- recently encountered super mutants, why do they yell at you that they are super mutants. i know that. i mean, the character technically doesn't since no one's bothered to explain all the new creatures to him, but still.

anywho, ive only been playing for a week or so, so there might be more redeeming qualities later on. but so far im not very impressed

[fadebolt]

Personal room rankings:

1 - Submerged Superstructure: LAB14 (10/10) 2 - Shoreline: AI (10/10) 3 - Silent Construct: E02 (9/10) 4 - Metropolis: splitpath (8/10) 5 - Outer Expanse: RAIL01 (8/10) 6 - Chimney Canopy: S07 (8/10) 7 - Metropolis: LAB03 (6/10) 8 - Looks to the Moon: O02 (6/10) 9 - Arena Submerged Superstructure: Memory Bypass (4/10) 10 - Subterranean: G0R01 (4/10)

Extra comment: Okay, I'll admit it, this is quite the biased pick from me. Why? Because I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but I did go to Submerged as a non-Rivulet Slugcat before (I believe it was Monk, specifically), and I found it weirdly enjoyable. Especially rooms like this where you have to figure out how to get up with your limited mobility, as they sort of brought back the feelings of exploring this game for the very first time, where you still had no idea about the optimal ways of traversing rooms.

As for the list, we've got two pretty neat ones for today.

The first is one that I expected to see lots of votes on, only for that to not really happen - RAIL01. Outer Expanse has 3 rooms like this, and while I would technically consider this to be worse than the second, it is only slightly below it. It's really hard to comment on it, because its layout is so strange and different, but in like, a good way. I guess I like that there's a decent bit of decision making that goes into traversing this thing, and it's nice that Squidcadas spawn here. Sorry that I couldn't come up with anything more to say, but I just like these kinds of unique and well designed rooms.

Now, there was one other room that I also expected to be highly voted, which did in fact live up to my expectations. And yep, it's AI. One of the most important rooms in the game. The place where we'd originally get all of our sweet lore and world building from (which still holds up for every Slugcat, except Spearmaster and Artificer). The design of this place is very iconic, and for a good reason - it perfectly communicates everything a player needs to know, and it makes for a very effective introduction to the character, one that makes her appear humble, lonely, quiet and powerless. And as many people have pointed out before, that makes for a perfect contrast for Five Pebbles' introduction, who is also lonely, sure, but absolutely not humble, powerless or quiet. The thing about this room is that its quality is very much dependent on the game's writing, the quality of its story. But since the story is excellent, the room also ends up becoming one of the greatest, as a result.

I uhh… don't really have a segue for this, cus y'know, AI is quite a special room and all. Anyways, we have two bonus rooms coming up!

First up is C11 from Chimney Canopy, which is alright. The one issue I have with this place is how most of it is basically always unused. Why? Because you have a decent amount of distance (try saying the last 4 words quickly multiple times) that you need to climb up, to reach the connection pipe to B12, which is a one-way leap that more often than not, you will not want to take, because no matter where you're going, it'll just unnecessarily make your route longer and more complicated. And unfortunately, there's nothing interesting about the lower parts, you just have that one jump, and sometimes, you gotta do some combat or pipe juking. So I'd say this is probably a 6/10. Really cool if you wanna climb it, you just usually don't.

And for the last one, there's G02 from Subterranean. For this one, I kind of have to look past how much this general area of Sub has tortured me on an Expedition recently, because in the grand scheme of things, the room is very well designed. You have the dangerous Adult Centipedes, but there's also plenty of Cherry Bombs, so players can easily learn that they're perfect for deterring these crawling batteries. There's also a Popcorn Plant that you can use whenever you won't eat the Centipedes (either they died in a previous cycle, and didn't come back yet, or you just avoided them). You do have unfriendly flora too, those being the Monster Kelps, but this place is often filled with spears, and even when it's not, the ground is perfectly flat, so you can just crawl. Oh, and the number of Mushrooms is quite the overkill, but honestly, I'd never complain about those. So yeah, this place is nice. I'd say it deserves an 8/10, maybe potentially even a 9/10. (Although…. the nasty Dropwigs on some campaigns…. cus I guess the Centipedes are just not enough. At least they only appear for combat focused slugs)

Pick Your Favorite Rain World Room, Day 215.2 R2

This is not single elimination! Every room with at least 15.0% vote will move on to the next round.

There is a hidden slugcat in one of the rooms (they can be in any color). If u can see it comment or reblog with where they are and if u are first, u get a cookie!

Credit for game screenshots goes to: Rain World Interactive Map, Rain World Wiki and me

Congratulations for day 214 winners!

[mythrilhusk]

Korosensei Never Dies - Chapter 6

Words - 1967 Ao3 Version Chapter 5 (last) Chapter 7 (Next)

AN: Just wanted to note (although it’s already in tags) that there are no ships in this story. The characters may be affectionate with each other, but it’s all platonic. 

====

Exams are the worst part of school, but the end of the first term approaches fast. Tommy determines he will not fail. Philza has promised to teach them how to fight, and by the ever-loving stars, Tommy wants to show off his mad skillz. 

He's so intent on getting fighting lessons that he's dragged his friends into group study sessions. Wilbur insists on leading said sessions, and somehow the schoolwork gets entwined with role-playing battles with fiercesome monsters. 

"The answer is forty-two!! I pull out a bazooka and blast everything to smithereens!" Tubbo cackles. "Nothing shall stand in the way of world domination." 

"Tubbo," Wilbur sighs for the fortieth time. "That would kill all of your teammates." 

"Do I care?" Tubbo grins innocently. "Less competition, big man!" 

"I lay down and die." Ranboo says drily, leaning against the wall with his arm around Tubbo's shoulders. 

"Not you, Ranboo, you're going to be my puppet queen. Every world-dominating super-villain needs a puppet queen." Tubbo says, quite matter-of-fact.

Tommy scrawls messily on his workbook, determined to complete the next answer first and get a turn. "Ha! Fucking x equals twenty-nine!" He crows. "I shoot my nets at Tubbo and capture him!!" 

"Stand-off." Wilbur says with a grin. "Who wrote Frankenstein?" 

"Some woman with a boring name." Tommy retorts. 

"Anne Rice!" Tubbo cries. 

"Tommy, you got the closer answer. It was Mary Shelley." 

"Alright, I win, and I say 'Hahaha, you fucking imbecile, you are no match for me!' and then I drag them to jail." 

"I completed my worksheet, Wilbur." Eret pipes up. Wilbur takes it, then nods for Eret to complete his bonus action. "I stab Tommy and release Tubbo, saying, 'The world is yours for the taking, but allow me to oversee a portion of it.' and then I kneel and plant my sword in the dust." 

"Oh! Oh!" Tubbo waves his worksheet in the air. "Ranboo, stab him for me!" 

"As you wish." Ranboo sighs with a wicked grin. Eret protests weakly in the background. 

"Ranboo, you need to answer a question correctly, first." Wilbur steeples his fingers. "Or else there will be penalties." 

"I, uh, I think I got this one correct." Ranboo shows his study sheet to Wilbur, who nods curtly. 

"Fine, go ahead." 

Ranboo turns to Eret and says in a dark tone, "You betrayed your friend. I can't trust you, Eret." Then he turns to Wilbur, "I run him through with my dagger." 

"Eret, you're now a ghost." Wilbur shuffles through his game notes. 

"Aw, man. Can I haunt anyone?" 

"Yes."

"I haunt Ranboo to remind him of his crimes." 

"Aw, dang, another voice." Ranboo groans playfully. 

"Whaddya mean, another??" Tubbo cries. "Am I being replaced, Ranboo??" 

"You- you are the voice." Ranboo laughs nervously. "Even when you're dead, I'll still hear you, shouting at me to not kill the bees." 

"You better not. I worked hard to cultivate our apiary." 

"I won't, I won't." 

Tommy finishes his worksheet, ignoring the chatter of the others. "Ha!" He turns it into a paper plane and throws it to Wilbur. "I want twelve actions now!" 

"Okay, Tommy." Wilbur replies with a sly smile. The others protest, but Tommy has Wilbur wrapped around his little finger, so they won't be winning this battle. 

"But! I want to split them up between us, because I'm a fucking nice person who loves women." 

"Go ahead." 

"My first action as King de facto of the world is to declare peace between the Moon and Mars." 

"Wait, wait, you're king?? Eret, you didn't even kill him properly!!" Tubbo throws up his hands. "Ranboo, kill Tommy for me." 

"Hypothetically, what if I didn't?" 

"Ranboo. Are you betraying me??" 

"No, no, I said hypothetically." 

"Then, hypothetically, I would nuke your entire homeland and make you watch as I killed your family before your very eyes." 

"Oh! Oh, no." 

"And then I would torture you to death." 

"Oh, man. That would not be good." 

"So are you going to betray me?" 

"Apparently not." 

"Aw, man. I wanted to torture somebody." Tubbo sighs. 

Ranboo gives Tommy a look that says 'help me'. 

"You both lost your turns for talking too long." Wilbur decides. "Tommy and Eret, you both have an extra turn." 

"I turn corporeal using necromancy, and I use Tubbo's soul as the energy source, draining him of life." Eret says, his cheerful eyes belying his dark tone. 

"No! Ranboo, avenge meeeee!!" Tubbo cries melodramatically to the heavens. 

"Oh no! I'll avenge you!!" 

"I kill Ranboo." Tommy cackles at the horrified look on Ranboo's face. 

"Oh, that's not good." 

"How do you kill him, Tommy?" Wilbur asks. 

"I stab the bastard through the fucking eyes." 

"Oh. Man. That sounds painful." Ranboo winces.

"It is. You're screaming like a fucking bitch." 

"Am I? Oh dang, that's not fun. Am I a ghost now?" 

"Ghostboo." Tubbo laughs. "You're now Ghostboo." 

"You're Toast, you don't get to mock my name." 

Tommy frowns. "What's my ghost name?"

"Ghommy." Ranboo laughs. "Eret is Gheret." 

"Tommy, you think we're ready for the exams?" Wilbur gathers the papers scattered across the floor.  

"Fuck yeah, we are. We'll crush those bastards to dust. We'll get the highest grades of anybody in the entire school!"

++++

"What do you mean, you can't transfer me?? My grades are the worst they've ever been in years!!" Jack cries, stomping his foot on the polished wood floor of the principal's office. 

"I'm sorry, duckie, but I can't let anyone transfer between classes this year." Puffy-- rumored to be a pirate in a past life and therefore always called Captain-- frowns as she flicks through Jack's portfolio. "Why did you want to be transferred, anyway?" 

"No reason." Jack grumbles, then stomps out of the office, slamming the door behind himself. 

"How'd it go?" Niki hops down from one of the pillars. 

"Terribly. Those bastards in 3-E must've told Captain Puffy to not let anyone in. They're probably planning to take over the world now, using Techno as bait!" Jack cries, his eyes burning with furious tears. 

"That's awful!" Niki wails. "What will we do?" 

"What do heroes do to villains? We bomb them." 

"Bomb them?" 

"I don't know how yet." Jack grins, filled with burning rage. "But we'll think of something." 

"I know a man." Niki says decisively. "He'll get us supplies. If they really are planning to end the world, we need to stop them." 

++++

Exams roll around, and 3-E joins the the main school buildings for the tests. Quackity and Sapnap both leap on and hug Karl Jacobs. Tommy strides through the testing auditorium like he owns the place, with Wilbur glaring at everyone and Tubbo whetting his dagger with a placid smile. 

Fundy watches the chaos from the sidelines, chewing on caramel taffy and bubblegum at the same time. He doesn't recognize the quiet boy huddled in a corner and writing. Before he can creep over and look at the boy's words, Eret accosts him. "Hey, man." 

"Oh, hey!" Fundy grins and hugs his friend. "What've you been up to?" 

"Oh, just trying to stop the world from ending and make a profit in the process, you know, the usual." 

"Right, right. What's up with that, anyway? This guy, Technoblade? He must be really hard to kill if nobody's done it yet." 

"We have till the year ends." Eret says gravely. 

"Right. But why hasn't anybody, I don't know, tried to get in on the action?" 

"The government is supposed to be keeping his location a secret." Eret adjusts his sunglasses. 

"Weird." Fundy pops a bubble between his lips. 

"Indeed. I know there must be a weakness. But I'm not sure what it is."

"Maybe it's something like technical immortality! Maybe he can only be killed if he lets it happen!" Fundy theorizes, chewing more intensely. 

Eret grimaces. "Perhaps. Threatening his friend, Philza, directly is out of the question. But perhaps we can get the kill switch from the president." 

"Woah, woah, back up!" Fundy laughs. "There's already a kill switch in his friend and the prezz hasn't thought to use that??" 

"Well, he's a hostage, but- oh." 

"Exactly!! If the prezz actually wanted him dead, all they'd have to do is threaten to kill this Philza dude if Techno doesn't let himself be killed!" Fundy blows another bubble and pops it with his teeth. "Damn, I'm good." 

"That's assuming Technoblade would die if he allowed it. What if he can't?" Eret muses. 

"He has to have some weakness. How was he even created??" 

"I- I don't know." 

"The only way a mutant like that could be created is through Human intervention, aka a laboratory and scientists!!" Fundy claps his hands together excitedly. "But why would scientists create a creature who can destroy the world?? Unless he can't, and this is all just a damn test." 

"Hmm." Eret doesn't sound convinced. 

"So, they're trying to develop immortality, and they're testing it on Technoblade-"

"Why him?" Eret asks. "And if it is a test, why here, with a bunch of students?"

"He got loose before the tests could be finalized, and they're trying to contain him again!" Fundy starts pacing. "He was a terrorist, yeah? I remember him in the news. The Acolyte." 

"Blood for the blood god." Eret reminisces, paling. "That's right." 

"He only ever went after important government figures! But, five years ago, he disappeared, and nobody ever heard from him again. Until now..." Fundy grins wildly. "This is amazing, I can't believe I get front row seats to a conspiracy!" 

"Wait." Eret groans. "He had a partner." 

"Oh! He did?" 

"Technoblade was the Acolyte. But his partner was the Angel. What if that was-" 

"Philza!!" Fundy cries. "Oh god, we have both of the most deadly international terrorists in my school!! Why couldn't I have worn better clothes??" 

"I don't think that should be our main concern." Eret steeples his fingers. "I think we should worry more about what they're planning to do." 

"I'm going to talk to Captain Puffy." Fundy decides. "Come with me?" 

"I'll pass. Good luck." 

"I've got the best luck in the world." Fundy crows and skips off. He glances back once, briefly, only to see Eret watching him with an unreadable expression. 

++++

Tipsy, Schlatt lounges on one of the pristine metal tables. In the background, HBomb sweeps up the shards of a broken whiskey bottle, the remnants of a drunken tantrum. 

"Heyyy." Schlatt greets the mercenary waiting in the doorway. "Come on in." 

"How much do I get paid for my trouble?" The mercenary asks, slouching in a too-large purple hoodie and baggy pants. 

"Fifteen billion, take it or leave it." Schlatt grins. 

"I'll take it. But this is the last time." 

"Sure, honey." 

"How'd you lose him again?" 

"Bitch killed half my fucking scientists." Schlatt shrugs genially, hiding his irritation. "But we've got a neutralizing agent, now." He tosses a capsule to the mercenary, who catches it and inspects it. "Inject that and he'll be as harmless as a two-ton hippo." 

"That's hardly what I'd call harmless." 

"Eh, semantics. He won't be immortal." 

"Hmm." The mercenary pockets the neutralizer. "I'll do it. But you'd better pay me exactly what you promised, or he dies." 

"C'mon, darling, what do you take me for? A scam artist?? Nah, that's not my fucking style. Return him safe and sound, and everything will be just fine." Schlatt lights a cigar, takes a deep drag, then lets it all out in a slow plume. "Do as I say and nobody gets hurt." 

++++

Eret opens his buzzing phone and answers, "Hey." 

"Crocodiles don't cry often." The familiar voice says coldly into their ear. 

"Crocodile tears are worthless." Eret replies. 

Purpled laughs on the other end. "What do you say, partner? Ready to make some dough?" 

Eret grins, baring her teeth. "Always." 

Chapter 7 (Next)

[blue-likethebird]

Shimizu Kiyoko: A Meta

Recently, Haikyuu finished its last match and ended an 8-year run in Shonen Jump. I love Haikyuu. It has so many unique characters with complex motivations, a plot that had me invested for 4 years straight, good pacing and a fanbase full of talented creators. It had a big impact on my style as an author and even motivated me to try out for my school’s volleyball team back in middle school (but I ended up getting hit in the head with a serve and cut after the first tryouts ended rip.) But like every story, Haikyuu had a few flaws too.

Shimizu Kiyoko is without a doubt one of my favourite characters after Michimiya and Suga. But when I reread the series following the manga’s end, I had the uncomfortable realization that as much as I love Kiyoko, the way her character was handled fell into a few -kinda misogynistic- pitfalls. Well, this is me taking a closer look at that. Below the cut is the full meta, which contains spoilers for the final arc of Haikyuu!! You’re free to add your thoughts, argue that I’m wrong, or call me a bitch and block me at your own discretion!

In fairness, Haikyuu is a series about a boys’ volleyball team, and that premise doesn’t leave much room for girls outside of the supporting cast. At the very least, Furudate did a good job making the female characters in his series likeable individuals with distinct personalities who have lives of their own outside of the guys. Even characters like Michimiya, Kanoka and Mika -who are comparatively minor characters serving romantic roles in the story- have identities not revolving around their relationships with boys. I’m glad that the girls were allowed to express ugly emotions, have supportive relationships with one another, and weren’t solely defined by what guys they were in love with. On that level, Haikyuu is leaps and bounds better than a lot of other shonen mangas ie Boruto’s Dad.

Unfortunately, Kiyoko’s arc fell slightly short of the mark. In the grand scheme of things, she really didn’t have much to do and her identity as a character is comparatively murkier than others once you strip away her relationships with the men in Haikyuu. Given her potential, popularity, and the higher standards Haikyuu set for its ladies, it’s a bit disappointing.

“But blue!” Someone in the back row pipes up. “You said yourself that Kiyoko isn’t a main character! Authors don’t develop the supporting cast nearly as much as the protagonists!”

Well yeah. If authors expanded on every character to the extent they expand on the lead, then it would be impossible to get to the actual plot. But hey, Oikawa appears less frequently than Kiyoko does and his motivations and interests are given time to develop. Heck, Yachi only joined the cast in chapter 73 and the series explores her interest in art and relationship with her mother really well during her introduction. We don’t know Kiyoko’s family situation, or why she quit track, or what drives her to put so much of her own time into the volleyball club. And the scenes where she has an impact on the story, or the game going on, or Hinata’s quest to become a great volleyball player, or another character she interacts with are few and far between when stacked up against other members of Karasuno’s volleyball club. The only exception would be Kinoshita and Narita, who have the bad luck of being Haikyuu’s version of “those two guys” so that’s not exactly the best demonstration of what Kiyoko has to offer.

Then there’s my beef with the pedestal she’s dropped on: Both in canon and out, Kiyoko is presented as a perfect goddess who can do no wrong. This setup has so much room to expand on and deconstruct, which dozens of stories have done incredibly well. Even Haikyuu itself has done a similar thing through Kageyama’s relationship with the other Kitadaii alumni and the “king of the court” storyline. Yet Kiyoko never gets a chance to explain her feelings on being held to such a high standard, nor is it ever brought up as something that could be uncomfortable for her. It’s briefly implied that she’s somewhat out of her element when she’s the centre of attention in the “do your best” scene, but that’s not really touched on further. Given that haikyuu has acknowleged being held to unreachable standards is damaging, it would have made sense to acknowledge Kiyoko’s perspective too. Is she insecure about being considered flawless? Is it something that brings her confidence or boosts her ego? Idk, because it’s never explained clearly. It’s like a porcelain doll: Kiyoko is perfect, but by keeping her up on a high shelf to maintain that perfection, we miss the chance to get a closer look that could help further our appreciation of her.

It’s not that being one of the less dynamic characters is inherently a misogynistic pratfall, since there are plenty of male characters out there who could give a cardboard box a run for its money in terms of complexity. However, given that Kiyoko’s character is already floundering among all the unaddressed idealizations around her, to have so little opportunity to address that and how damaging it can be, well it’s not great to say the least. She’s also one of the only characters in the whole series to suffer from this particular burden. It’s kinda difficult to handwave that as just a weird coinky dink that Kiyoko’s not given more development while the arrival of Lev at Nekoma warranted a dissection of how this affects their dynamic. 

This all builds up to a defining moment. The one that made me realize how Shimizu Kiyoko had never quite escaped the trap so many other shonen manga ladies since Sakura and Orehime had fallen victim to.

The reveal that she and Tanaka got married between the end of nationals and the time skip. That was when I realized that for all I loved her and the series she was a part of, the writing surrounding her was misogynistic. 

I have a... variety of emotions about this particular relationship’s road to becoming canon, and they’re not especially positive emotions either. I could prattle on for ages about the execution or buildup, and a whole other post could be written about why I always interpreted her as a lesbian, but that’s best saved for another time. How was Kiyoko falling in love with Tanaka a weak point?

To put it bluntly, it’s because she didn’t.

We’re shown over and over again that Tanaka has feelings for Kiyoko. That was established in basically the first scene they appeared together in. What irks me is that she never gets the same: that the ‘hints’ that Kiyoko returns those feelings barely qualify as hints at all. Yet, with one scene where Tanaka carries her bag, we’re supposed to believe that the few scraps of interest she’s shown throughout the 300+ chapters of the manga they’ve both appeared in is a strong enough end point to lead to them getting hitched. Come to think of it, is there ever even a scene outside of the bag carrying where they spoke one-on-one about anything meaningful? Did Tanaka ever get to see her as more than her pedestal that we saw? The scene they ended off on is where most romance arcs start for heaven’s sake, and it ultimately disservices both characters. 

Once again, poor Kiyoko got screwed over by the series denying her a chance to express her feelings, and the marriage bomb came off as less of a satisfying conclusion to either of their arcs and more like a one-sided “wear the girl down” pullout where the girl in question is treated more like a prize than part of a healthy relationship. That kind of “romance” is more at home in a cliche action bland-com than Haikyuu, where the relationships are written with more complexity. This would have so easily been avoided with even one throwaway line. But since Kiyoko never got to express her own feelings, a crucial building block to a satisfying romantic arc was left out and the whole relationship toppled over like a jenga tower.

To wrap this up, lemme say that Haikyuu is one of my favourite series and one of the strongest shonen or sports manga I’ve read. I love both Kiyoko and Tanaka both a fuck ton, and I’m incredibly grateful that Furudate gave us such a powerful series these past eight years. None of this is me trying to bash the author, story, or any of the characters and I’m definitely not trying to argue that they’re in any way problematic. This is merely one interpretation of the series and an examination of a relatively minor part of the genuinely enjoyable whole. My goal in writing this longass meta wasn’t to condemn. But, in a manga whose biggest strength is having such well-rounded characters, it’s still somewhat of a shame that so much of Kiyoko’s potential stayed just that: potential. Haikyuu is a series that’s well-known for giving complex personal stories to all its cast from major player to one-chapter rivals. Why is it that Shimizu Kiyoko -who’s been a regular presence in the story since the very first chapter- couldn’t get the same?

[i-write-sometimes-blog]

Runaway (Harley Quinn x Reader)

Request: a request with harley quinn and reader? Idk it could be awesome cause you’re such a great writer so I thought maybe you can do something with it :) by anon

Words: 1,088

A/N: Birds of prey is a gem. Thanks for the request, I tried my best really, sorry if this feels a little out of character, Harley is very different from what I'm use to write. Let me know what you think!

“Why did you put fireworks next to the bomb?” panting you yelled at her running as fast as your legs allowed you to, watching the building on fire and the colorful lights of the fireworks lighting up the dark streets of Gotham over your shoulder.

“I wanted it to be pretty” she said, a big smile lying on her lips while she admired her creation.

“Harley, this was supposed to be subtle!” you told her. The woman dressed in colorful and extravagant clothing stopped in the middle of the street to clap in excitement as she jumped a little bit.

“Subtle isn't fun” she said between giggles.

“Keep moving!” you told her as you grabbed her by the arm and started pulling her in the opposite direction of the explosion.

Rushing through the streets almost empty at this hour of the night, but both the chaos behind you and the colorful lady by your side attracted the eyes of the people around. Most of them drunk harmless people but some others very dangerous. There were a lot of people that wanted the head of this pretty girl, now that she didn't have the protection of that very specific man that broke her heart. They wanted to kill her for things she did in the past and they seemed to appear in the least pleasant moments.

Harley and you entered to a dark street only to almost crash against some bad looking men. They probably wanted the jewels you had just stole or they were looking for Harley, you didn't even know what she had done to piss the off.

"Oh, hi guys" said Harley waving her hand to them.

"We can do this the easy way" you said already looking for the knives in your waistband, as a knife master you carried some of your precious blades anywhere "or we can do this the painful way" the three tall men only held up their weapons.

"Fine, let's play" said Harley running towards one of them kicking him right in the face with her boot. Immediately the other two started to shoot against you.

Whit easy you threw a knife in their direction, the blade flew through the air and hit right in the throat.

"That's my girl!" Harley told to the man she was fighting before punching him one more time in the face, knocking him out.

The only man standing was a big one, sure he was over six feet. You threw some of your knives but somehow he seemed to dodge every one of them. He got closer to you and you started to fight hand to hand.

Suddenly a loud sound rumbled and the big man fell to the ground, revealing Quinn with a big metal pipe.

"I had him" you protested.

"No doubt, pumpkin. Come on." she offered you a hand and you went back to running.

As the fireworks kept painting the night sky with different colors you heard the police's sirens becoming dangerously close to the place, so both of you hurried to the roofless car and slided inside it with ease. Regretting already being sit at the copilot seat you held to your place while Harley pressed the accelerator, sending the car running down the street.

Harley Quinn was going to get you kill one of these days. She was amazing, not doubt, she was the best planning thefts and she was beyond adorable not to mention how dangerous she was. But she had a tendency to make this her way, not others but hers. So the whole city knew it was her, attracting the cop's attention most of the times and forcing you to rush.

"Harley, watch out!" You yelled when you saw the road ending in front of you. The girl just smiled before pressing the brakes and turning the wheel, with the motion the car turned abruptly before racing again in a new direction.

"Relax, Gummie bear. I got this under control" she said enjoying herself more than she should, Harley had a talent to find the cutest nicknames and you couldn't help it but smiled back at her, watching how the lights of the dark city made her pale skin shine. But the moment didn't last much, the sound of the bullets flying over your head made you get back to the action.

Harley and you exchanged gazes, she looked at you with that sickening grin you just couldn't resist. She had an idea.

"Hold the wheel" she yelled. You reached out for it as she asked and tried to keep the vehicle steady.

The blonde woman searched in the backseat for something you couldn't see and you didn't need to, the car was full of surprises and deadly weapons, just as Harley. You heard her giggle and you didn't need to look back at her to know there was a wide smirk on her face. Moments later you saw a cop's car suddenly exploited through the mirror, slowing down the rest of the cars that stopped avoiding crashing with the car in flames. All those sounds were followed by the enthusiastic laugh of your girlfriend.

"Piece of cake" she said as she got back on your previous seat, turning the wheel you got into a lonely and dark street hoping to lose the police and after a few minutes the car was racing on an empty highway.

"One day!" You said, the wind hitting your face and waving your hair. "I swear one day you're gonna get us both kill" you wish there was a time you didn't end up running for your life.

"Oh, come on" she said playfully, "You like getting in trouble with me, Y/N"

The only thing you could do was smile as you shook your head. She was right, you really enjoyed all this mess you pulled you through and no matter how much you tried you couldn't be mad at her.

"I knew it!" She said and pressed a kiss on your cheek.

By the corner of your eyes you caught Harley smiling happily as she admired some of the sparkly jewels on her hands. You liked to see her that radiant and relax, of course you loved her madness, her laugh and everything that came with that, but times like this were a treasure.

"Yeah, I do"

The car's engine kept rumbling through the night air of Gotham as your girl and you ranway. You knew that the life with Harley was for sure never gonna be boring.

[minaminokyoko]

A Love Letter to ‘Knives Out’

Disclaimer: This isn’t even a review. This is literally just me freaking out about what a great movie I just bloody watched and I just need to vomit words everywhere about it. Sorry in advance.

I think the best thing ever is I went into this with zero information. I remember seeing the original trailer months ago, but it wasn’t detailed. Just the short one of the premise, and to be honest, I’m not really into Whodunits. Clue is one of the exceptions and Castle is the only detective-related thing I’ve ever liked and followed religiously (up until the final godawful two seasons), so I have no predisposition to even care about murder mysteries. But then Rian Johnson dangled the juicy carrot of Chris Evans playing against type (because we all know the man is a sweetie and I can personally vouch that he’s great at hugs) and so I decided to add it to my watchlist. Then the reviews came pouring in that it was great, which surprised me, and so I decided to take a leap of faith to see if the hype was real.

Oh God, was it ever.

Y’all know me by now. I’m a hard, cynical old bitch. It’s tough to impress me, but fucking hell, I really loved Knives Out.

It’s not that it does anything new; it’s that it is a fresh, creative spin on tropes we’re used to and it’s also the strong performances that just make it a delightful film. It’s kooky and dark and offbeat. It’s charming. It’s wonderfully political. It’s irreverent. This is the niche kind of writing that I adore. It’s why I’ve loved shows like Frasier or movies like Snatch. I love the interwoven mess between the plot and the characters and everything coming to light in a big explosion.

Spoilers down below for my talking points, naturally.

I want to start with Marta, simply because I love how this movie framed the character as innocent, but not stupid, useless, or weak. I love that she had a great relationship with Harlan. I love that Harlan didn’t have any evil ulterior motives. It was simply a man who looked around and realized that he thought he was providing for his family but all he really was doing was supporting selfish, downright cruel people. That family basically just siphoned off of him and had the entitlement complex that is currently killing this country right this fucking second. It was very satisfying when he left them nothing and gave Marta the money and the choice of what to do. The final shot of the movie is genius.

Which segways into probably my second favorite thing about the movie: the commentary about the entitled upperclass versus the working class immigrant. The whole Trump debate during the party made me groan because we all just wrapped up three holidays, so I know that people were having to go home for the holidays and listen to the broken-ass logic of their Trump supporter relatives. Especially since they dragged Marta into the bullshit conversation. I LOVE the writing of having this girl who busted her ass, who listened, who was a genuinely good person, still being able to be a good person in the end after one hell of an ordeal. I loved how the movie poked all kinds of holes in the fake narrative of inheritance and immigration and patriotism. Fuck that. This country isn’t some holy land. This country was stolen from the people who were born here and then they built a fake fucking pedestal on top of the mass graves and proclaimed it theirs. Fuck that revision history and fuck the people who believe these lies. This movie is so satisfying because it’s a giant middle finger to those people and it’s a reminder that the future is these hardworking, kind people who care about society and they are the ones who have earned all the good things this country has to offer.

I also love the examples of bigotry and microaggressions that were more subtle. The WASPs in this movie don’t even realize the backhanded compliments and the truly insulting shit that they do since they’re so entitled. For example, Richard handing Marta his plate while he was arguing for Trump. That’s brilliantly done. He thinks of her as a servant while he pretends she’s on equal footing: saying one thing and yet his actions prove the opposite. There’s also Meg’s comment of “we’re his REAL family,” showing that those bastards all will smile and welcome you until the second you cease to be useful to them and then they show you just how truly ugly they are beneath those “civil” masks. When the will was read, it was the exact shitshow we all knew it would be. That was a great representation of the upper class. It’s not about being loud and racist; it’s all those subtle, hideous things they do to suppress people of color and the working class so they can stay on top where they think they belong. This narrative is powerfully woven in that regard and I really needed to hear this story in today’s climate, especially since we just started 2020 today, which could be the end of everything all over again. I applaud the writing. As a woman of color, I see this kind of shit every single day, especially now that I work in higher education, so I really hope it opens more eyes to the shit that not only immigrants but working class POC deal with on a daily basis. I likened it to Zootopia, where you came to the movie for one reason but then you were served an absolutely piping hot side dish alongside the entrée. Well done, Knives Out. Well done.

I need to give a nod to this powerhouse cast as well. I forgot Michael Shannon was in this movie so seeing him made me giddy, as I’ve always liked him since he’s so damn sinister. He’s a great antagonist actor and I almost wish he’d been given more to do. Jamie Lee Curtis did great as well.

But y’all know what’s coming. I mean, look at my profile picture. You know I have to stop and talk about my future husband’s performance.

Chris Evans as a villain.

Not only that, but Chris Evans as a GREAT villain.

Oh, God, pass me the cigarette.

We all knew from his work in the MCU that the man can act his fine America’s ass off, but boy, did I really like his role here. I compare it to Chris Hemsworth in the godawful movie Bad Times at the El Royale, because while that is one of the worst movies of the decade, it was extremely smart in casting Hemsworth in the villain role. Why? Because it sold the believable factor. Chris Hemsworth is so handsome and charismatic that he COULD in fact be a creepy ass cult leader. You take one look at that man’s chest and tell me you wouldn’t fight a smelly hippie to jump in his bed. Damn right I’d be in a Chris Hemsworth cult. Point being, Chris Evans as the handsome but cruel Hugh was phenomenal. I really enjoyed seeing everything unfold. He did such a great job. It’s all the more satisfying knowing that in real life, he’s the cutest, sweetest goofball on earth. I’m so delighted he took this role because he knocked it out of the park.

Which brings me to my next point.

I’m gonna be a basic fangirl bitch for a second here. Just hear me out.

I’d LOVE an alternate ending to this movie where Hugh didn’t do it.

I know, I know. That’s super basic and dumb and I know part of it is because I just wanted to like Hugh anyway, but it actually would be a great piece of storytelling if you changed the ending.

In this premise, Marta really did mix up the bottles and accidentally killed Harlan. Well, what I would change is that Hugh really did have a benevolent epiphany and he decides to come back to stick it to his shitass family and he figures out what Marta did and decides to help her so she’ll slip him his cut. Then the rest of the film is Hugh and Marta trying to cover the rest of their tracks so that Blanc doesn’t piece together Marta’s accidental crime. Over the course of helping her, Hugh gets to know her and they become friends, so by the time they pull it all off—mind you, I’m ambiguous in this AU, I’d be fine if the detective works it out but lets them cover it up or if they actually manage to just destroy all the evidence so he can’t convict her and he admits defeat—he’s now invested and doesn’t accept the money when she goes to pay him. Bonus points if he falls in love with her during the cover up. It’s not necessary, but I saw a couple little sparks, so I think it would be very cute if Hugh and Marta hooked up to protect each other from the horrible family and build their own empire together. But that’s me.

Trust me, this movie is brilliant as written. It doesn’t need that alternate ending. But I have to admit it got my mind churning about what a fantastic character arc it could be if Hugh hadn’t been the bad guy and he and Marta learned things about each other and formed a friendship. I’m a writer, it’s kind of a hobby, sorry. I hope I’m not the only one who thought that, but we’ll see.

I’m so glad I started 2020 with this film. It’s a rare gem. I can’t wait for it to get on DVD, because I am gonna snag it asap and watch it again. What a romp. It’s also gratifying in a petty way that J.J. Abrams went out of his way to undo Rian Johnson’s work in the Star Wars franchise and it’s backfiring majorly critically speaking meanwhile Knives Out is getting bomb ass good reviews, so good for you, Rian. Your revenge is at hand. #TEAMPETTY

I can’t recommend this hard enough. If you love murder mysteries or if you just love Clue-style quirky black comedy, please see Knives Out. It’s worth every red dime, to quote the movie.

Kyo out.

[jswdmb1]

24 Frames

“You thought God was an architect, now you know

He's something like a pipe bomb ready to blow

And everything you built that's all for show 

goes up in flames - in twenty- four frames”

- Jason Isbell

This may come as a shock, especially to those who know me well, but I can be very stubborn. Sometimes this can work into my favor as it helps bolster confidence when I take a difficult position that I know is right, or it can help me persist when odds are long such as starting a new business.  But this often is a character trait that I know can hold me back.  In particular, I bristle at things I am told that I “should” do even when it clearly would be in my best interest to do whatever is being suggested.  It usually takes someone equally stubborn to get me to move off of my position, but this did happen recently.

My wife is always on me to watch various different television programs, but I always balk.  I watch some TV but is it well documented (on this blog) that it is pretty much limited to PBS and reruns of old game shows and sitcoms.  I don’t like to leave that comfort zone, and it takes a lot for me to try out a new show – especially one that is episodic that expects you to come back week-after-week. I know that means I miss out on a lot of good stuff, but I’m okay with that as it allows me to keep my time on the tube under control and I don’t get more involved with something than I really want to be.  But on this one particular show, she was quite persistent, and I was challenged to at least give it a try.

The show is Schitt’s Creek, and I am sure you have heard of it if you do not already know it well. If you haven’t seen it, do not worry, as I will not be disclosing too much about the program.  Even if you have heard a lot about it and feel you know the story, part of the charm of the show is watching the characters develop throughout the series, so plot turns and the such are not as important as in some other episodic series.  The basic plot is that an extremely wealthy family of four, including two adult children, are forced to move to a small town when they lose everything overnight due to a business manager not paying taxes.  The series starts with the scene of revenue agents raiding their mansion as the family frantically collects a few belongings, so no time is spent on their past life.  Every moment from the first scene is spent on their life afterwards which involves living somewhere in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of regular folks.  It sounds like a typical fish-out-of-water setting (think the second Bob Newhart show for the closest example), and that is certainly mined for plenty of laughs, but it quickly becomes clear that the show is about much more than this.

That is all you are going to get from me about the actual show, because no more details are relevant to the rest of this post.  Except that the acting in this show is brilliant and worth watching for that alone.  The father and mother are played by Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara, both of whom I have been watching for decades in their various film roles and on the hilarious SCTV program.  The chemistry between the two is so natural and genuine that you quickly adopt them as Johnny and Moira Rose and forget their 40+ years in show business as other characters.  The children played by Levy’s son Dan and Annie Murphy are equally good and get a lot of the laughs as their clear lack of reality in their past lives plays to insane results when applied to the real world of the town of Schitt’s Creek.  The supporting cast is not just a bunch of wacky neighbors but add much depth to the show and develop themselves over the course of the series, especially the character of Stevie played by Emily Hampshire. The character of Roland Schitt, played by Chris Elliot, may be the best second banana on television since Cosmo Kramer. Again, none of this gives away much if anything about the show or the various plot arcs, but it should give you extra motivation to watch as talent like this collecting in one place is rare indeed.

And why exactly am I so intent on you watching this show?  While the quality of the program and the enjoyment it will provide you is enough reason to dive in, I have discovered a much greater purpose to following the evolving journey of the Roses.  Even though the show was created over five years ago, and largely wrapped production on its sixth season before 2020, it has become for me the perfect allegory for the United States right now.  Our country is going through the same experience that the Roses went through much of the first two seasons.  After the sudden event of COVID-19, we found ourselves much in a place like Schitt’s Creek. Over seven months into this pandemic, we are still stuck in what life was like before and when will it ever return. I do not think this is much of a spoiler alert for anyone who is rational, but how the way things were is never coming back.  COVID-19 has wreaked havoc on our society, and we like to blame it for all of our current problems, but it simply laid bare all of our faults and weaknesses almost overnight.  We are now no longer able to push those existential problems aside and have to face them head on. Many of us are not up for the challenge and would like something to change things back overnight, but that is not happening.  It doesn’t matter if there is a vaccine, or a new president, we have to face that we collectively lived lives that were not grounded in reality and our fates hung delicately in the balance just waiting for something like COVID-19 to come and bring it crashing down.  Just like the Roses lost everything in one quick raid, we now find ourselves building our lives all over again in a strange place where we are very uncomfortable.

Now I know that is difficult to hear and very depressing, but here comes the good part.  Just because things have changed does not necessarily mean that we can’t grow and develop into something even better than we had before. Obviously, a deadly disease like COVID-19 is not something we ever wanted, and it has brought countless suffering and death to too many people, but it does provide for a starting point to helping us grow beyond some of the shallower lives we lead previously.  It may take a lot of tough love, but we will eventually get the virus under control and the big question will be what is next.  For me, there needs to be an evolution past wherever we were before this all went down. I think our guide can be the Rose family in Schitt’s Creek.  The a-ha moment for me came at the end of season two titled “Happy Anniversary”.  I will disclose nothing more about it other than to say it was a transformative episode not only for the Roses, but for my own outlook on things as we move into what will be a very dark winter.  

If you are a watcher of the series, some of this may make more sense to you, but I think even you could benefit from another viewing to see if you can apply some of this to your own life as well.  I am actually only through Season 3 so far (I know enough about what lies ahead to be able to write this post, but it hasn’t ruined a thing for me), but I am already making plans for starting over to pick up things I missed the first time around. And it is important that you start in the beginning and move through the episodes sequentially.  Not so much because you will lose the story, as many of the stories are self-contained within an episode, but because you will miss out on the character development along the way (again, kudos to the actors and actresses in this show who so brilliantly developed these characters). I know this is playing it up quite a bit but trust this one-time reluctant viewer to be assured that your time is going to be well spent.

This many come off as a review, but it really is not.  I mean, if I were a reviewer, I would include some of the above in my story (and end with four stars or whatever the highest rating is), but this has become so much more for me.  It has served as a life-saving antidote to the poison spewed in traditional media and social media that makes me nauseous on a daily basis.  I find myself occasionally daydreaming about a funny scene I saw, or a subtle profound moment in the show, which has replaced some of the constant worry about the pandemic, or economy, or the election, all of which have a life-or-death feeling to them.  It has proven to be a rare new tool in my arsenal against anxiety and it will end up being one of my lasting memories of 2020.  That is a lot to say for one show about a year as particularly disastrous as this one, but I sincerely believe that.  

So, don’t be like me and be stubborn if you haven’t seen this show.  As soon as you read my last sentence, get yourself on Netflix and start watching with Season 1, Episode 1.  And make sure you don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow because the one negative is that it will be hard to stop once you get started.  But I think it is okay right now to binge on something that is finally showing us that there is a way to succeed in life without putting others down or placing selfish pursuits over relationships.  So, dig in and enjoy and I promise that I have learned one other thing throughout this experience – keep an open mind.  Because when you keep your mind closed, you shut out a world of possibilities, even when that world seems to have none.  

Enjoy,

Jim

[peterpparkrr]

(Mike Wheeler x Reader): Dangerous

Request: hey just wondering if you could do an imagine where there’s a new girl in hawkins and the gang find out she has elemental powers but she also has borderline personality disorder so can’t regulate her emotions too well n stuff ?? maybe end with some mike x reader fluff ? thankyou and all good if you’re too busy xxx A/N: I do not have bpd and this is just one interpretation of how a character with bpd might behave. I by no means want to stereotype or misrepresent any mental illness so please take this with a grain of salt. I’ve done a lot of reading and research in an attempt to better understand and write this character but if it’s not accurate or offensive please let me know and I will take it down.

Dad said that Hawkins would be a better place for you to grow up. That a small town meant you would be safer, and that somehow that would make you happier.

What a load of bullshit.

He moved you here because of the Incident. He moved you here because he’s embarrassed and ashamed to have you as a daughter.

You can see it in the way he looks at you like you’re a nuclear bomb that could go off at any moment and destroy his whole life. You’d already done it once.

When you walked into Hawkins Middle School you already knew that this new school, that this whole town was going to be a nightmare. You tried to breathe slowly and not think too much about how everyone was staring at you as you walked through the hallways.

Once you found your locker and started loading your stuff into it you started to hear whispers behind your back. You knew people were talking about you. You were the new girl so you were an easy target for teasing, and you weren’t the first new girl this year, so the kids had plenty of practice.

You were standing up in front of your English class, having been forced by your teacher to introduce yourself when you heard it. Someone hissing schizo from the back of the classroom. Your eyes flickered towards the face that said it, and before you knew it the teacher was reprimanding your classmates while you turned beet red, standing

“I heard she had to leave her old school because she had a breakdown,” you heard a girl behind you in the hallway whisper to her friend.

“My mom said that she threatened to kill herself in front of her classmates and that she’s a danger to us,” You heard a voice hiss as a group of kids pushed past you, shooting glances your way.

“Should we go talk to her?” You heard another voice, across the hallway say to their friends as you stood at you locker packing up your things for the day.

“Can you stop talking about me behind my back?” You snapped as you turned around to confront the group of kids in your class.

“S-sorry, we were just-just gonna ask if you maybe wanted to go to the arcade with us this weekend?” A nervous-looking boy with a mop of curly hair asked you.

“Is this some kind of joke?” You ask suspiciously.

The boy glanced around at the rest of the group before turning back to you, “No?”

“No. They’re just being weird.” A redheaded girl says as she moves forward and puts her hand out, “I’m Max.”

“And these idiots are Lucas, Will, Dustin, Mike, and Jane.” She says as she points down the line of kids standing in front of you.

Will perks up at the end, “Oh, but we all call Jane El, it’s a long story.”

“Um…” You mutter awkwardly as you glance around at all of them.

The tall one, Mike clears his throat awkwardly, “So this weekend, are you free?”

You glance at him before realizing they’re being genuine, “I guess,” You tell them with a shrug.

“Cool,” He said with a grin before you turned back to your locker and the girls had to drag the boys away before they started to get creepy and weird.

When you got home from school you made your way into the kitchen to make yourself a snack when your dad peaked his head out of his office.

“How was the first day, kiddo?” He asked as he grabbed a slice of your apple and bit down on it before you could object.

“It was okay,” You tell him with a shrug as you focus on scooping some peanut butter out of the container and onto your plate, “I uh… I’m going to the arcade with some friends tomorrow,” You tell him.

“Really? That’s-that’s great sweetie,” You dad replies with a slightly stunned smile before you can see his overprotective dad brain kick in again, “Are you sure about this?”

You give him an annoyed look before going back to your snack.

“I just mean, do you think it’s a good idea?” Your dad clarified as he looked down at you in that overly concerned way that you hated so much.

“I want to be normal dad, why can’t you just let me be happy?” You ask him with a hmph before stalking up to your room in indignation.

The next evening you left the house with little more than a nod at your father as he reminded you to be back before curfew.

When you got the arcade it was already packed with kids your age but you quickly found ‘the party’ and were pushed in to have a turn. Everyone watched and cheered amicably for you the first couple of levels before some nearby games opened up at most of the group moved to the new game.

You were so in the zone that you didn’t notice everyone had stepped away until Mike suddenly appeared right next to you and stared at the screen in awe.

“No way! How’d you get to level 56? I thought it was impossible!” He exclaimed.

“Guess I’m just a genius,” You replied smugly as you deftly moved the controls around.

“Guys! Come look at this, (Y/N)’s amazing!” Mike called over to Max and Lucas as you continued to play.

Everything was going great until some of the more aggressive boys in your class sauntered in.

“Oh look, the geek squad found another freak to join their ranks. Careful guys, she might kill you if you piss her off,” One of them jeered.

“Shut up,” You muttered lowly as you balled your fists up tightly.

“Oh, are you going to do something about it? Are you going to hurt me?” He continued to taunt.

You tried to remain calm, you really did. You started to do the breathing exercises you’d been taught but the voice laughing at you just kept cutting through. You tried to hold it back, it’s had barely been a week here in Hawkins, yet here you were.

The power washed over you like a tsunami. It felt like you were drowning, but like those boys were too. It felt like justice. It wasn’t until you heard a scream that you realized what you’d done and that you were able to focus forward and realized your burst of energy had blown the water pipes in the building. All the games were sparking and everyone was drenched in water as people scattered out the exits.

The boys who had been taunting you scrambled to their feet before fleeing the building. You turned to look and saw the group of kids who’d taken you in staring back at you with stunned expressions. They could have become real friends, but you’d fucked it all up.

Before anyone could say anything you bolted out of the building and into the cool spring air.

You found refuge in an unlit corner of the now abandoned parking lot.

You were so lost in thought that you didn’t even realize that they’d found you until they were right in front of your face.

“There you are, (Y/N), we were so worried, are you okay?” Max asks as she reaches to squeeze your shoulder in comfort.

“You guys aren’t scared of me?” You ask as you look up at the group, “You should leave me alone, I’m dangerous.”

“Honestly, after all the crazy shit we’ve seen in the past year, this is not that surprising,” Dustin quips before Lucas hits him in the gut.

Will rolls his eyes, “What he means to say, is that we have some idea of what you’re going through. Especially El.”

You turn to El, confused as to how this seemingly perfect girl could have any idea what you’re going through.

“I have powers too,” She tells you shyly before she closes her eyes and sticks her hand out. Within moments the rocks and pebbles around you guys slowly begin to levitate in the air. They then drop back to the ground as she opens her eyes, “See, you’re not the only freak.”

Lucas nods, “(Y/N), we’re not going to let anything happen to you. You’re one of us now, you’re part of the party. If anything, your powers just cement that.”

“Uh, wow,” You stutter out, “Thanks guys, I don’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” El says with a shrug, “But we should all probably get home before our parents get too worried. Mike can bike you home, right Mike?”

“Of course,” He says with a nod as the rest of the group heads towards their bikes and starts heading home.

“I’m sorry about… all of this,” You tell Mike awkwardly as you trail behind, “You can just head home, I’ll be fine.”

Mike shoots you a look of indignation, “(Y/N), I want to take you home. I want to know you’re okay,” He tells you, “I just want you to know that you can trust us. That you can trust me.”

“You’re really great Mike, El’s really lucky.”

“(Y/N)-” Mike says before he realizes why you’re saying that, “El and I aren’t dating. We kissed. A few times. But that was well over a year ago, we’re just best friends.”

“Oh,” You mutter.

“And I’d really like to kiss you now if that’s alright,” Mike adds somewhat timidly.

“That’s more than alright,” You muttered at your toes before looking up at Mike and realizing how hard you’ve already fallen for this boy before you realize that he’s leaning closer and your lips press against his.

Maybe Hawkins won’t be so bad after all.

[shy-magpie]

RQG 146

[Author’s note: Sorry about the long break! I caught a bug and haven’t been able to edit for love or money. I have been writing the live blogs as the episodes come out but I suspect I will have to edit the stuffing out of them to get something that is both coherent and not twice as long as the show. Also I’m going to try to remember to toss a cut at the top of these things so it doesn’t take up so much of the dash etc.]

I love when they go auctioneer because they want to get to the content faster. Ooh reminder that the party have slightly conflicting goals. I almost spaced that Zolf's priority is the info to save the world while Cel is more narrowly focused on taking out the threat to their village. 

Final bets on whether: 1) the timelines are simultaneous 2) its the same room 3) who(or what) is in the chair ~Hamid time~ Another stealth check and I think Alex rolled something secret. I love these nerds, I don't think they even noticed they slipped into the more precise language of math to describe the place, always makes me feel trusted when people don't hide that kind of thing. Bulk head doors are a good sign. Alex might be trying to build up to it but Bryn wants to get a description of the figure in the chair as badly as we do if not more. Full blank-masked male, cables from the chair to the organ. Ben, sweetie, we aren't going to shoot-first-ask-questions-later, or even take that as your serious suggestion moments after you reminded us Zolf is aiming for capture. "Could be another one of the dead bodies" Pardon me while I glitch on the idea that it being another member of the doomed party is the only thing that I can't recall being proposed over the last week. Am I forgetting or did Figgis actually come up as a suggestion but not that? Alex adds a ladder, to save Hamid one of his last spells "Tension, tension, tension" I can't parse how many of them are chanting but who ever that is, know I adore you. I should be vibrating from stress and instead I'm grinning like a fool. Thats my boy! Hamid's spell slots might be running scary low but his mind is sharp as ever, he remembers his potions! Oh dangerous game, but the extra time invisible as he gets closer sounds worth it. Picked up a few things from Sasha. "Think" Alex is actively trolling. The lights are bad? You choose to do that, Alex, put away the "victim of circumstances" tone. Oh the organ! I needed a better description of that. Lydia might be the only one who loves this description more than me. A pipe organ that makes potions instead of music? Bryn has heard of one where each key is an alchemical symbol. I might need to hunt down art for that if its a known pathfinder thing. Hamid recognizes it but is the wrong school to understand this, both by training as a wizard and as sorcerer. The pipes are actually full of various fluids and powders. Yes Cel needs to see this. Thank you Helen! How much money has he spent on this? Where is he getting the money? I need that clipped! (tension chant evolved) Oh hell of a bet Hamid Sasha would be proud. The table is so proud of him. FTR I think that was Ben not Bryn saying "I stroke his cheek", because Bryn wouldn't risk Alex making that joke canon and using it to hurt Hamid. (naturally there was such no risk if Ben made that joke) Cable to the back of the neck, in clerical robes (crap I remember a “Shoin the healer painting”(?) but I thought he was an alchemist? Is this an assistant? Mini boss? Or is he multi classing), a party mask? Back to that theme. Its a prop corpse and its not the same room, I'm going to scream. Hamid don't you dare! Dollars to donuts its going to stand up and be some kind of creepy corpse robot Hamid waves Skraak in Speaker time, Shoin sounds worse maybe off script. ~~party time~~ Oh Cel has to lose most of the beast voice. Never mind! Smaller pencils acquired! I love this description even better the second time around. Oh bless Lydia for giving the fuller description. 55 HP! 14 Con! Comfort beard. Ooh Azu has a potion to make her even further stronger than Zolf. (iirc she had 1 point over him already) Yes he is in fact lawful evil and no he doesn't ever let them rest. Wise Cel/Lydia! I love Azu's auras! Aura of courage sounds especially useful. Yes yes Azu is good, brave, and resolute. Oh poor Zolf can't prep without either sleep or knowing for sure the fight is coming. Cel actually has 59 HP thank goodness! Another hall? Its circling the dome Hamid is in. It better be the same dome! I feel a bit like I'm betraying the party to enjoy the set design when the set is designed to kill them. They go as fast as they can while checking for traps. I refuse to parse that any other way. Oh poor Alex, we appreciate the set design even if the characters don't. Next door has a porthole to look through. Bless Helen/Azu for reminding them to check for traps. Cel can still disable it! It was a hand buzzer? Oh, to waste spells. Missed an in laid wood image of Shoin as a saint. This guy has too much ego and money. Anyone else thinking of that old joke where a guy has to become a monk to be allowed to find out what is behind a ridiculous number of doors and the punchline is you have to become a monk to find out what he saw? Ok it is a good thing its not the right door ~Hamid time~

Alex you troll! I refuse to concede we needed something to bleed to the stress levels. Shoin’s voice officially probably not a pre recording. I love Hamid! Hangs a handkerchief over the corpse's eyes. Poseidon? Couldn't be any god other than Zolf's ex? Ok doesn't seem in good enough shape to be a necrobot, but the organ might change that. Metal chairs sized for the party bolted to floor. I think Hamid is officially having fun not following Shoin's suggestion to sit at the table. Look at the leader in him collecting the paperwork Official connection between blue veins and the simulacrum! Also a spot for the power source Liliana was working on? Red string joke! ~break~ He Acid Blasts a speaker and it pisses Shoin off. Yeah "young man" was exact wrong thing to try. Were you trying to hit his daddy issues? I love one troll and 1 Kobold! Minion this! If Hamid speaks up? Shoin’s sense are fallible, might come up later Hamid is the best! Might die of being the best, but if he has to go its fingers up. Halfling, Dragon and troll, not a damn inch of leverage except what he gets Shoin to give him by refusing to follow orders. Pretending to attempt to comply is so much more frustrating (and better listening) than if he simply went "shan't". The party comes in! A swear! Not really another way to put it. The corpse explodes! Is Shoin the organ itself? A hug! A Cel & Hamid hug! Zolf backs Hamid's play, and  joins in Shoin baiting. Hamid hugs Azu and Zolf! Finally a proper Zolf hug! Cel finally gets to check out the organ. It prioritizes looks over efficiency and isn't just a potion maker. Some of it goes over Cel's head. Cel blocks the outlet. Lydia still thinks slightly sideways like me, and I love it. The cylinders are near boiling. Hamid orders Skraak to safety! Cel tries to hug Skraak, but Skraak doesn't recognize them. Poor brave little guy tried to attack before they can explain. Cel takes chatty!Skraak well and they have another little bonding growl exchange. They get ready to skip Shoin's game and go to the next room. Bad sounds. Fist sized drops of luminous green liquid from the top of the room that don't act right. Zolf attempts open the door to the next room, Hamid sprints towards it. Thank goodness someone wants to live. Natural 1? But its initiative, so that shouldn't hurt too badly right? Right? No effect thank goodness Homing blobs? I am torn exactly between that being cool and not something I want the party to deal with. How many fire balls does Hamid have left? I think Cel is out of bombs, and if we remember nothing else from Kew its that swarms require explosions. Zolf! Its the big brother of the buzzer door and is locked to boot. Azu attacks the goo nearest Zolf. Helen is too wound up to remember how to roll. Bryn and Ben couch her through it in that RQ way. Cleave! More blobs and the existing ones move towards people. Magic missile! 4 pews! 2 at the nearest to him, 2 at the one nearest Cel. I'd say squishy solidarity but Cel is pretty tough for once. Cel shoots the nearest 3? Then flies up 10 feet up and towards Skraak. Zolf blesses the party! Fair Alex! Not everything has to have a mechanical effect. Azu attacks again. It explodes, if Azu hits it it will die.  At least one person should be safe. Skraak! He froze! Worth a shot Ben You'll see? It tries to blob Skraak and isn't big enough to hurt them. Is Skraak safe from collateral damage? Hamid and Cel both protect Skraak. Hamid tells Skraak to use his spear, Skraak runs instead. Thank god he might not die trying to be a hero. Something drains into the pipe organ and the pipe organ attacks! OMG it is a 50ft tall brain soup drinking electric monster! Yes Ben! Perfect! Shoin Mr Ceiling-ed himself theory has player buy in! Bye! Also I will eat my hat if the drop blobs aren't able to merge into something more dangerous.

[oya-script4]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Todoroki Shouto, Bakugou Katsuki, Ishiyama Ken | Cementoss, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Kirishima Eijirou Additional Tags: Villains, villain! Deku, Villain Midoriya Izuku, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Izuku is crazy, Todoroki and Midoriya are married, this is like a while after, I just needed to write this out, Serial Killers, villain AU, Husbands who kill together stay together, slightly sexual Summary:

Things get a little out of hand.

To those of you who don’t want to go to AO3, the story is below the cut:

He couldn’t move his gaze away from the death all around him. He couldn’t help but smile at what was engulfing him, at what was transpiring at his feet. Entrails, liquids, and limbs strewn over the buildings like light fixtures his mother used to put up on the ceiling in his house for Christmas. He couldn’t help feel his face light up at the sight of his husband ripping apart a hero in the most literal sense. He could swear that he was even holding a barely beating heart in his left hand as the hero dropped to his fortifying feet.

Was today his birthday?

Looking at all this destruction his partner caused all because someone bumped into him and would not apologize was all too much. He wanted him to take him now. Take him back home and just go to town on him. He was so damn ready.

“Babe, we have to get you out of here,” His husband clung to his side, “All Might will be showing up soon. I went a little overboard,”

“I want to stay and talk to All Might! Can I Shoto?!”

“Izuku, darling, you know we can’t. Last time you did that, I ran into my old classmates and barely made it out of Bakugou’s range. Let alone out of there alive.”

“DEKU!!”

“Damn it, we have to get out of here now,” Shoto turned around, ready to defend the love of his life and the whole reason he turned on the Hero’s. His entire old class stood behind his old teacher and a few other heroes. But All Might was not seen, again.

“I’ll have to tell Tomura that he’s not here again,”

“Ignore that, we can’t stand our chances against all of these guys. We have to go.”

Izuku looked past his husband to Bakugou. Bakugou was staring at him as if Izuku had killed his family, as if Izuku has floored his house with a very well placed pipe bomb, paralyzing his father and putting his mother into a coma…. Oh wait, that did happen! Izuku couldn’t help that he loved danger. Couldn’t help that the only reason he had scars was because Shoto listened to his insane wants in the bedroom, and acted them out. He couldn’t help being a better villain than a hero. Katsuki had grown older, or at least looked like he’d grown older. His eyes looked like they were lacking enough rest, but a man with red spiked hair held onto his hand and tried to calm him down with whispers.

Looks like he had a pawn to call his own too.

Izuku couldn’t hold back a chuckle. He was born without a quirk, born with nothing but intelligence. Bakugou made fun of him for that. Then, he confessed to Bakugo, he loved him even though all the shit he dragged him through, but Bakugou only got more harsh, more rude, more… evil. Izuku saw the world as it was. He went home and found that someone loved him, his mother. But she never saw him as a hero either. She saw him as much of a burden as everyone else did. In a blind rage Izuku disposed of her too.

In the moment she died, Izuku Midoriya also died. His father, who manifested out of the shadows found Izuku and brought him to a small organization which he had made. Izuku found home, found refuge with like-minded people, not feeling weird, and not being looked down upon simply because he was a child or quirkless. He was thought highly of because he wasn’t even 16 before he’d killed many many people. His intelligence was through the roof, and many Villains would come to him for information before they attacked a certain hero.

“What are you doing here, Deku?!”

“Todoroki, how could you side with them?”

“Stop this madness!”

The students were screaming and crying behind the heroes. Shoto knew that the heroes who came were well prepared to kill the two. The Heroes were also a wall to hold the children, who were now third years, back. They tried to keep them from acting out with their emotions.

“Kurogiri should be here soon,” Izuku smiled as he sent a text, “We can hold them off for five minutes right?”

“Be careful,” Shoto smiled.

The two held hands and just stared at the group. They almost looked like a couple ready for death, ready for no one to accept their view of the world.

“I’m the villain, Killer Bunny,” Izuku screamed. He opened one of his arms out as if to accept a half-assed hug, “And this is my husband Ice-Fire.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Bakugou screamed. The Hero known as Cementoss held him back slightly. “You can’t be the Killer Bunny! He’s killed thousands of people! Thousands of heroes! Deku, you wouldn’t--”

“Ka-chan, I don’t really think you have the right to tell me who I am. That type of thinking is what got us here in the first place, is it not?”

Izuku smiled. He held onto Shoto’s hand a little tighter, not wanting to lash out and take the small knife he had very well hidden and slid it right into Bakugou’s chatty ass mouth. Oh, what he’d give for Kurogiri and Tomura to allow him his sutures and stitch up that mouth for good. No way in hell would he allow anyone to take his piece of art away from him. He’d sell his own soul to the devil if it meant he could have Bakugou dangling in his room, huffing and puffing, with several serrated blades thrusted to the hilt in his body watching Izuku and Shoto have sex right in front of him.

Izuku had to take a breath and chill out before just his thoughts got him off. He simply relished in the killer gaze which Bakugou was trying to murder him with. His handiwork. Bakugou was none the wiser that if he’d just been kinder to Izuku then none of this would’ve happened. It’s not like Izuku was lashing out at Bakugou for making fun of him, no. Izuku saw an opportunity to destroy, an opportunity to kill, and no one cared. No one thought he was a threat. No one thought that this poor quirkless boy could do anything to even a fly.

So, naturally, he had to prove them wrong. Oh, boy, did he!

“Time to go,” Shoto commented slightly pulling Izuku back, knowing that Kurogiri was going to be right there very shortly.

“We won’t let you leave,” Shoto looked behind him.

“Damn it,” he bit his tongue. They were surrounded by about 12 pro-heroes and then his entire 1-A class. They were outgunned and outnumbered.

“I see you found someone, Ka-chan.” Izuku commented. He tilted his head slightly as a smile adorned his face.

Bakugou’s eyes’ widened, he backed up from Cementoss and pulled the red-haired man behind him. “You leave him out of this!”

“We have to get out of here, Izuku--”

“WHY--” A tall man, with blue hair and glasses almost too large for his face yelled. He pointed at Shoto “Why, Todoroki? You had just started using both sides, and then you vanish to only appear beside him?!”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, Ida.” Shoto sighed

Behind them, a black circular cloud appeared. “I’m afraid we have to cut this reunion short. You have several Heroes underneath our shoes who need medical help,” Izuku laughed, “Or a grave”

“Now, please,” Kurogiri’s voice spoke softly through the portal.

Shoto pulled Izuku into the portal, “Another time, Ka-chan~.” Bakugou didn’t move, protecting the man beside him. He looked around making sure that the portal that Izuku was going through was the only one and that not one of the members were going to be kidnapped like a couple months ago when they had lost Tsuyu. Other heroes cursed at Izuku and rushed to get him before the portal closed, however, they were not fast enough.

Killer Bunny and Ice-Fire got away.

[tialovestelevision]

A Buffy Dialogue - 6:1-8

T: It’s time for A Buffy Dialogue, this one on the opening act of Season 6. I’m joined here by Dragon, because there’s just so very much to talk about in these eight episodes. They’re sort of the establishing shots of this season, which is, oddly, the one with the most… start-to-end… season arc in the show. Like, there aren’t really any one-shot episodes so far. They all build the season’s story and emotional beats. So, Dragon, what shall we talk about first?

{*\../*} : Well, since the big arc of the season thus far has been about our characters and their personal motivations for their thoroughly disastrous choices, let’s do a character-by-character breakdown for the readers on where people are and what we think the writers are trying to tell us (and are actually telling us, not always the same thing). Some people are obviously not going to need much telling - the Trio basically speak for themselves, for instance, and Anya’s not got much going on except taking over the Magic Shop. But everyone else has issues! So let’s talk about them.

T: I think I’d like to start with Giles. His bad decisions are both fairly straightforward and the one whose mistakes are most understandable, I think. He’s not operating under any great trauma like Buffy, or mystical whatsit combined with the way the show metaphorized mundane problems like Willow. So… he seems like the onramp here.

{*\../*} : So at the end of “Tabula Rasa” we have Giles on a plane going to England because he’s spent the time since flying back in “Flooded” feeling like a barrier to Buffy’s recovery (probably best expressed in “I Wish I Could Stay”), and the evidence is fairly clearly on his side about the truth of that. He can’t stand watching her suffer at this stage in her relationship, and he’s making classically bad parenting-with-adult-children decisions like writing checks he can’t afford to write on a regular basis to cover bills and having parenting conversations for them instead of refusing and letting them make their own mistakes. That Dawn is being cast symbolically as Buffy’s kid is a bit of a problem given the realistic implications of having an older sister with no job or stable support system ‘raising’ a sibling only a few years younger, which the show actually talks about briefly in Season 5 and then drops completely for 6, and plays into the show’s overall failure to make a stable decision about how realistic it wants Buffy’s dealings with the ‘real’ world post-death to be. But that IS the symbolism here, and Giles is aware he’s acting an enabler to Buffy avoiding her responsibilities as Dawn’s guardian/parent. Given that he can’t make himself stop enabling her, removing himself is a logical choice. Maybe even a better one than staying. But from what you were writing about “Once More With Feeling,” you don’t seem to think so?

T: I hadn’t really thought about whether Giles could afford the check or not… I figured that, after Buffy got him three years of backpay in “Choices,” he probably had some extra cash lying about. Maybe not, though… he apparently spent his whole time from being fired by the Council in Season 3 to his return to England in “Bargaining” maintaining both a house in Sunnydale (and a nice one! But Angel had a mansion there and no money, and Dracula conjured a castle, and Glory kept a mansion or really lovely condo on a nurse’s salary, so Sunnydale’s real estate market apparently operates in some base-cthulu numerical system), so maybe he was in debt that the back pay paid off? Anyway, the show obviously wants us to think of the check as a bad thing for him to have done, and “he can’t actually afford it” is a better explanation for that than most.

{*\../*} : Especially if it’s “he can afford this one, but what about the next one?” which is actually pretty typical with parents and adult children.

T: That’s true. Anyway… to your point about how realistic Buffy’s post-resurrection mundane life is supposed to be… that’s kind of the key problem with the writing here, isn’t it? If we were going to treat it as realistic, the right answer by Giles would be to call the Council, inform them that they’re about to have one Slayer who’s in jail and another who’s homeless and can’t do any Slaying because she’s too busy working a menial job, and get them to start providing a stipend and maybe even paying for health insurance, then having Buffy set up six months of weekly sessions with a therapist who, living in Sunnydale, has almost certainly Seen Some Shit. If we’re going to treat it as metaphorical, shouldn’t there be a monster in the pipes? How can literal pipes break and cause metaphorical life problems? We have to keep this very careful balance of literal and metaphorical issues and barriers to solutions that the show never really gives us for any of what Giles is doing to make sense.

If there is no support network available for Buffy to draw from, she needs to keep the support network she has, because even if Giles’s current behavior is going to do more harm than good in the long run… well, the tire is flat. Yes, the Fix-A-Flat means it’ll cost more to repair later and might need replacing, but when it’s that or starve to death alone in the desert on the now-abandoned Route 66, you use the goddamn Fix-A-Flat.

{*\../*} : Yeah. A lot of this season really fails to cohere because it’s trying to apply the same making-metaphor-of-life-problems rules it uses in high school to young working adult drama, and that doesn’t really work very well at all. But since we just watched Willow wipe everybody’s memories and then Giles get on a plane anyway, I think we can agree that Giles is making a choice that will End Badly for reasons that have a lot to do with his personal relationship with Buffy and maybe less to do with an objective view of the overall situation.

T: Which one could say about Willow and the others in “Bargaining,” too, come to think of it. Oh, look, shiny transition!

{*\../*} : They work better when you don’t point them out, honey.

T: In the spirit of Buffy, I’m going to be impressed with the cleverness of my own writing even if my expressions of being impressed make it less clever.

{*\../*} : Fair play. Yes, the time-bomb we set up in “Bargaining” that finally blows up in “Once More with Feeling” by resurrecting Buffy is absolutely about putting personal emotional stuff above the moral or the practical. We talked about that quite a bit in “Afterlife,” but I think it’s important to pull out two pieces of parallel evidence from the rest of this first third of the season that show nobody has Learned Their Lesson at all. They’re actually not obviously related, because one is played as a gag and one is played as Serious Business complete with a Very Sad Song montage, but I think they are crucially connected: Willow’s stunts with first Tara’s memory and then everyone’s, and the fact that Xander summoned Sweet.

T: They’re both afraid. Willow has more power than Xander by far - I actually agree with Buffy that, by the end of Season 5, Willow has more power than anyone else in the main cast - but neither of them really knows how to prevent loss. I’m not sure if Buffy’s death helped form that fear, but I can pretty much guarantee that it’s on their minds.

{*\../*} : Absolutely. But they have another key commonality. If Buffy is currently the show’s metaphor/punching bag for trying to find your way in a world that’s financially unstable and doesn’t seem to care about your trauma while it’s checking you for credentials and contacts, Xander and Willow are both in the middle of another big life transition: adult relationships. It’s more obvious with Xander, because he and Anya finally come out about being engaged in “All The Way,” but let’s look at Tara and Willow for a minute. They’re living a house together, they’re supporting a household (do either of them have jobs? They seem like they must have jobs of some kind, but that’s never brought up. More realism problems), they’re effectively raising Dawn until Buffy comes back and even then they often seem to be acting as the heads of the household. They’re in a long-term, settled relationship. But they have never once, as far as we can tell, had a real actual fight before. They certainly haven’t learned to fight in a healthy way, which is an absolutely critical skill in a relationship where one partner comes from an abusive background.

So Willow’s on the cusp of having a wonderful adult lesbian family life, but she doesn’t know how to resolve conflict in it and she’s terrified beyond words of losing it. And, as we’ve established with Buffy, she’s got a ton of magical power and isn’t shy about throwing it at problems that scare her (Buffy’s death, Glory, maybe even Joyce’s death before that). Frankly, that she tries to magic her problems with Tara away is almost totally unsurprising in both the realistic and metaphorical senses.

T: True. The precise form of magic she chooses to use is, because Willow has spent most of the show as someone with intense emotional intelligence (Tara has more than her, but Willow spent the time before Tara’s arrival basically second only to Oz in ability to understand people’s needs and feelings) and Tara’s experiences make memory modification even worse than it would normally be, but… well, she has a hammer. Everything from death to life to deities to relationship issues looks like nails. She has a really, really good hammer.

{*\../*} : I think this another of those cases where the writing kinda trips and falls flat trying to get at the metaphor. Because if magic is power, in a different drama setting where power was fame or money Willow would be covering over their relationship problems with a fancy trip or flashy gifts or something of the sort. If magic is lesbian and/or female empowerment, then she'd probably be covering up their fight with really great lesbian sex instead of dealing with the issue. But Willow’s hammer is magic, so that’s where the writers go, and they’re willing to let Willow look either stupid or callous or both for not thinking about the correlation with Glory.

T: She left the Lethe’s bramble in front of the fire. They are obviously willing to make her look both. I don’t think they know how much both they have her looking.

{*\../*} : True facts. But having made that bed, now Willow is crying on the floor in her bathroom while Michelle Branch plays super-sad music and Tara does the I Am Leaving packing montage. Surely she will take this as a chance to sort herself out and learn better conflict management skills, right?

T: Because the next three episodes are called “Coping,” “Adjusting,” and “Living a Healthy Life.” No, wait, the other thing.

{*\../*} : Yeah.....  Anyway, my point from earlier is that Xander doing something extremely similar with Sweet - to try to force a happy ending with Anya - is played for comedy because Xander himself is usually played for comedy, but he’s basically doing the same shit as Willow but with less power and more stupid.

T: And by the by, how did I miss that the singer in the Bronze was Michelle Branch? I called out Hinton Battle over and over and missed Michelle Branch. I am shamed. She doesn’t have three Tony Awards, but she does have a Grammy.

And… yeah. Xander, look back at your life. You’ve lived the life needed to answer this question. “In all of history, how many times has summoning a demon worked out well?”

{*\../*} : Do Wolfram & Hart count?

T: Whenever they summon demons, they have to find more evil lawyers willing to risk being devoured by demons to hire. I imagine that’s a pretty employee-friendly job market from the start.

{*\../*} : So speaking of that ending musical montage, Buffy is doing a dead stare over the bar at the Bronze and then she’s locking mouths with Spike behind the stairs. This does not portend good things. I think your coverage of her in “Once More with Feeling” pretty much sums up the lousy place she’s in, but I thought she was starting to look up before the big whammy spell took her memories away. Is she basically reverting to bad coping because of the opposite of the King Ralph thing (speaking of Xander playing other people’s serious stuff for comedy beats)? The spell took her memory of losing heaven away and then gave it back, and she’s having a meltdown instead of laughing?

T: That seems possible. Alternatively, she was just getting better at putting on a happy face. Or her emotional arc over these episodes makes no sense. The writers certainly aren’t telling us. It would, though, make the King Ralph line contribute more than a quick laugh at an outdated cultural reference, and Buffy loves doing that, so let’s go with that.

{*\../*} : I think there will be more to say about Buffy after the upcoming episodes, but I did want to note one thing that I thought was interesting - she’s in a weird liminal space in these eight episodes in a lot of ways, hanging between the dead-and-complete heroine and the newly arrived, very harried twenty-something with serious trauma, but one that stands out to me in particular is her relationship with Dawn.

When we see her with Dawn in “After Life,” Dawn is acting almost as a surrogate mother to her - cleaning her, bandaging her, trying to get through to her. In “Flooded” and “All the Way,” Buffy is very distinctly acting in the maternal role toward Dawn - trying to provide, trying to hammer out the logistical kinks of life, trying to manage Dawn’s social behavior. She winds up defaulting to getting Giles to help in all three areas, but she takes them on as her job to then press him to help her with in the first place. But in “Tabula Rasa,” memories removed, she and Dawn revert very quickly to a much more natural role as sisters and seem much happier about it.

T: I think Dawn might actually be the only member of the cast to be really aware of how badly off Buffy is in “After Life,” and, to a degree, the episodes after it. Well, her and Spike. This is a Problem for Buffy, since Spike is basically toxic relationship structures given human form then having had that human form’s soul ripped out and body filled with even more toxic ideas about what love means, and Dawn is a teenager who needs a ton of taking care of herself (and is also, I’ll note, the victim of an inordinate amount of trauma - trauma that starts with finding out that she doesn’t, technically, exist and moves on to watching her friends suffer torture and injury and risk death to keep her safe, being betrayed by a trusted ally, and watching two parent figures die within months of each other, one of whom literally flings herself off a tower to keep Dawn safe). Neither is in a position to do much to help Buffy, apart from simple physical and emotional first aid from Dawn in “After Life.”

{*\../*} : Something that literally just occurred to me while I was thinking about the last scene of “Tabula Rasa” earlier - Dawn is, of course, being played in that scene as the teenage daughter reacting with anger when her abused mother moves out of the house. That was obvious from the get-go. But if she’s being played that way in that scene, and Willow and Tara are being played very much as her parents, who does that make Buffy (who is also being played as her parent)?

Crazy theory - someone in the Buffy writing staff was casting Buffy in the role of a biological parent rebuilding a relationship with their teenage child who’s living with a married lesbian couple that doesn’t include that parent.

T: Wouldn’t that make Willow her ex? That… actually makes a ton of sense, given the family and relationship structure here.

{*\../*} : Her ex who’s still pathologically attached to her and literally drags her back into the life of the family? Wow. This reading is seriously gaining steam.

T: And she does that while still in a relationship with her new-ish partner. A relationship that is, on the surface, quite healthy. Yeah… we’ve got a winner here.

{*\../*} : Healthy right up until the point when Willow starts becoming (magically) emotionally abusive and engaging in (magical) gaslighting, which her ex (Buffy) is too busy with her own issues to remark on.... Shit.

T: Hence “on the surface.” But yeah… I think we’ve found a model by which everyone’s behavior, other than Willow being stupid with the Lethe’s bramble, actually makes sense. Buffy is back somewhere she doesn’t want to be but loves the people there too much to tell them she wants to go literally anywhere else, Willow is trying to drag Buffy back into her life, Xander is Xander, Dawn is watching her family disintegrate for the umpteenth time in the last six months. Everything fits. Except the Lethe’s bramble in front of the fire. But the only possible model to explain that is “... and using magic makes you occasionally suffer bouts of extreme stupidity.”

… Or Willow wanting to get caught, because it’ll get Tara out of the way in a way that leaves her with less guilt (because Tara would be doing the leaving) and lets her pursue her ex again unimpeded.

It’s not that I don’t buy this model. It’s that I hate it.

{*\../*} : Season 6 - when it’s not incoherent, the model for coherence sucks. Thanks for listening to us in this little catch-up, y’all, and having a good night. Coming up next, “Coping,” “Adjusting,” and “Living a Healthy Life.” Really. We swear.

T: I want to live in a world where those are the next episodes. It sounds like a better world. A world where there is a kitten on my head right now, and it’s mewing and adorable. There is no kitten on my head.

[segadores-y-soldados]

Blizzard’s shitshow of a timeline

Alright, settle in kids, because this is gonna be a long one - I had to rant about this to @starsherit earlier today and fuck, maybe no one’s gonna want to dive into this mess, but fuck it, I’m frustrated by the maddeningly slow progress Blizzard’s Overwatch development team has put forward on this.

fucking LONGASS RANT under the cut, you’ve been warned.

Let’s start at the very fucking beginning.

Not that Omnic Crisis shit.

The fucking Overwatch “Cinematic Trailer” - aka the video that introduced Overwatch to the world.

This video was uploaded by “Play Overwatch,” Overwatch’s official Youtube Channel, on November 7, 2014 - almost a full year and a half before the game was actually released (May 23, 2016).

As most of you know, in the trailer, the characters Reaper and Widowmaker attempt to steal an item call the Gauntlet of Doomfist while Winston and Tracer attempt to stop them.  Some kids and Pixar magic help save the day and prevent the “bad guys” from making off with the loot.  We were shown a few key things: Widowmaker’s infrared ability, Tracer’s temporal stuff, Winston’s rage, Reaper’s Death Blossom, etc.

But this was fairly early on in the public aspects of Overwatch’s development so there are numerous inconsistencies: the one most frequently pointed out is Reaper’s skintone, which is extremely pale and not the same as his “grey” skintone that eventually made it to the final game (I don’t want to talk too much about Blizzard’s inconsistencies with his whole visible cosmetics because that’s a related but a whole separate issue and I’m trying to focus on timeline, storytelling, and world-building stuff here).

Another thing which I have NEVER seen pointed out

Is that Reaper actually uses a pipe bomb launcher at two points in the short.

The first:

And yes, It shoots exactly what you think it does.

And the second:

That seems really familiar doesn’t it?

Only problem is that the “final version” of Reaper doesn’t have this ability at all -

Junkrat does.

So what happened?

Well, as with most things that occur over a year and half, things change.  It was a video game early on in its stages of relatively public development.  It’s pretty well-known that Blizzard changed a lot of mechanics, made a ton of new characters, changed designs, etc.  It happens - it’s all part of the process of creation and design.  I don’t think anyone is faulting Blizzard for trying to make a very unique team-based game with a bunch of very unique characters.

The problem however, is that Blizzard and the Overwatch team have been very clear that they wanted the game design to come first, and the story design to come second.

You know what other series this has been a major issue for?

The Legend of Zelda.

I’ve talked about this issue frequently, under different usernames, with different people, for different fandoms, for different series - there is no one “right way” to make a game, just as there is no one “right way” to develop a story.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to prioritize gameplay, design, and development and make a story that fits those aspects later.  It can work.  But it does mean that if you aren’t careful, you will get problems poking through the cracks where you’ve glued them together.

And boy, does Overwatch have a lot of those.

For example, take this article:

https://playoverwatch.com/en-us/blog/19809396/

For those of you who can’t read it at the moment, it’s a long, “in-universe” article written by a editorialist for Overwatch’s fictional “Atlas News syndicate” about John “Jack” Morrison and his personal history - from a kid in Indiana, to supersoldier, to Omnic Crisis hero, to Overwatch’s commander, to the potential vigilante Soldier: 76.  It is where, essentially, most of the “meat” of Morrison’s and Reyes’ backstories are laid out for players and fans.

It was also posted on July 6, 2015, again, almost a full year before the game itself was put out on the street.

And it is FILLED with problems.

Problem 1:

["Even I had my doubts about whether Overwatch would succeed," UN Under-Secretary-General Gabrielle Adawe, one of Overwatch's key architects, said shortly after the end of the Omnic Crisis. "But Morrison never gave up hope. He didn't just meet our expectations for what Overwatch and its agents could achieve; he shattered them."

The UN rewarded Morrison for his contributions by making him Overwatch's first official commander. Reyes was passed over in the process, and it created a rift between the two men that would lead to tragic consequences.]

Jack Morrison is made Strike-Commander of Overwatch “shortly after the end of the Omnic Crisis.”  In the Soldier: 76 trailer (posted by Blizzard to their Youtube channel on July 7, 2015, a day after this ARG news article), Soldier confirms this description of his Overwatch career by saying “I led Overwatch for twenty years.”

So let’s start the timeline:

From that same ARG article:

[When [Jack Morrison] died under mysterious circumstances six years ago, I felt as if a part of my childhood died with him.]

[That Morrison was buried here six years ago. All that's left is the shadow of the hero we once knew.]

Source 1: The Explosion at the Swiss Base occurred roughly “six years ago” from the article’s posting “in-universe.”

New Source:

https://playoverwatch.com/en-us/blog/20130523

This article, also written “in-universe,” describes the Museum Heist attempt.  It expresses concerns and doubts about what a “Recalled Overwatch” can possibly hope to achieve in the world, after the public already said they didn’t want it.  This matches with the information given in the Soldier: 76 origins trailer, the Recall animated short, and the “Cinematic Teaser” (posted May 2, 2016 - narrated by Winston).

This article gives “the meat” of Overwatch’s total lore, describing the rise and fall of the organization, and even events that occurred after that.  It does not give a direct amount of years since “the fall,” but it more or less matches the other information other sources provide.

New Source:

https://twitter.com/to_grok/status/826487157430874112

A twitter conversation between user to_grok and Michael Chu, Overwatch’s lead writer, on both the Fall of Overwatch and Reaper’s biography (aka why I’m writing this mess).

[Michael Chu: No, Overwatch was disbanded around five years ago.]

Chu confirms that this particular aspect of the timeline has not changed.

Alright so, let’s crunch some numbers:

Reinhardt: age 61 in-game - born in the year 2016; Ana Amari: age 60 in-game - born in the year 2017.

2016 + 61 = 2077; 2017+ 60 = 2077

The “current point” when the majority of Overwatch’s gameplay, shorts, comics, and events occur roughly between 2076-2078, centering around the revelation of Jack Morrison’s “un-death” about 5 - 6 years ago, which is when the Swiss Base was destroyed and Overwatch was disbanded.

Let’s use the ARG article’s number and roll back 6 years:

2077 -  6 = 2071

[2071 - the year that Overwatch was disbanded and the year that the Swiss Base explosion occurred.]

Now let’s figure out when the Omnic Crisis ended, and supposedly when Jack was made Overwatch’s commander:

2071 - 20 years = 2051

[2051 - the year the Omnic Crisis was ended, Morrison became Strike-Commander, Overwatch moved from being a task force into being a global organization for peace]

Time since the end of the Omnic Crisis and Overwatch was officially made a global organization for peace: 26 years.

AND NOW WE COME TO PROBLEM 2:

From Article 1:

[According to Overwatch's former agents, this outcome was inevitable. "After Morrison's promotion to strike commander, his relationship with Reyes changed," Dr. Angela Ziegler, medical director of Overwatch, stated during a UN committee hearing. "The tension became more pronounced as time went on. I tried to mend things. We all did. Sometimes when the closest bonds break, all you can do is pray you stay out of the cross fire."]

Angela, oh Angela.

Angela’s in-game age: 37 years old.

Time since the end of the Omnic Crisis to the “present” game: 26 years:

Angela’s age at the end of the Omnic Crisis: 11 years old.

Now -

This seems like a real fucking contradiction to the story being developed, doesn’t it?

New Source: Mercy’s “official biography” from the Play Overwatch website:

[Ziegler rose to become the head of surgery at a prominent Swiss hospital before pioneering a breakthrough in the field of applied nanobiology that radically improved the treatment of life-threatening illnesses and injuries. It was this expertise that attracted the attention of Overwatch.]

I would be fucking shocked if an 11 year old could do this.

Other noteworthy aspects: since Jesse McCree is also 37 years old in-game, the same age as Angela, he too is 11 years old at the end of the Omnic Crisis.

Which means we have several contradictions going on:

1. Jack Morrison was made Strike-Commander 26 years ago, when Angela and Jesse were children and apparently somehow “a part of Overwatch” so they could witness this “transformation” between Morrison and Reyes.

2. Jack Morrison was made Strike-Commander 26 years ago and Angela and Jesse were not actually present for this event (because they were children) and therefore Angela’s quote from the article is impossible.

3. Jack Morrison was not actually made Strike-Commander 26 years ago, but instead was made Strike-Commander after Angela and Jesse join, making Angela’s quote possible but therefore making the entire timeline inaccurate.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Things change during game development, I completely understand that.  The problem is that when you post multiple, contradicting “official sources” without having a clear understanding of your own story, you are going to run into - and even create - some problems.

The contradictions continue past this - as many people have pointed out, Chu and the Overwatch development team have retconned Genji’s backstory and the “lore aspects” of Tracer’s chronal accelerator, so they’re definitely open to changing parts of their story to make things fit better - even things that were “consistent” upon release like the chronal accelerator.

Which is why it is weird that Chu states that the wording in Reaper’s biography is intentional.

Because as I’ve already pointed out, Reaper is not at all the character he was originally shown to be in November 2014, and we have a number of other sources saying that his gameplay mechanics changed a lot during development time (at one point, his consumption of soul globes was going to prevent Mercy from being able to revive teammates).

Hypothetically, the Overwatch team could make a backstory that fits the description - it is entirely possible that Reyes became something along the lines of Reaper in SEP, or that he gained his Reaper abilities through unethical experiments at Blackwatch, or that - in order to give Overwatch plausible deniability - he conducted his Blackwatch missions under the guise of “Reaper,” pretending to be a mercenary instead of an agent of peace.

And he could actually just have been a double agent the whole time.

The last one is particularly frustrating for people who are fans of making Reaper a more complicated, complex character, because it does seem like “the easy way out” for the Overwatch team to take in order to avoid addressing the deeper questions that Overwatch’s attempts at a lore bring to the surface: was Reyes fucked over by Overwatch and the U.N.?  Is he actually a “ruthless mercenary” or is he searching for answers on his own?  Why does he blame Morrison and Overwatch for “becoming what he is?”

And yup -

Here’s another goddamn contradiction:

New Source: Old Soldiers Comic:

Transcript:

[Ana *removes Reaper’s mask*: What happened to you…?

Reaper *emphasis is from the comic, not me*: He did this to me, Ana.  They left me to become this thing.

Ana: Gabriel…

Reaper: They left you to die.  They left me to suffer… … Never forget that.]

Alright, so let’s try to break this problem down into different parts:

Part 1: Reaper has been Reaper for “decades.”

See, the above hypotheses could be explanations for Reaper’s inconsistencies in his biography, except for the fact that Old Soldiers, which is more recent than his Play Overwatch bio, states through Reaper himself that he “blames” two group - “him” and “them,” most likely Morrison and, with some easy inference, either Overwatch or Blackwatch.

Now, the most probable hypothesis, given all the information we know that is still somewhat consistent, is that Reaper is talking about some fall out related to the Swiss Base explosion, which he was caught in.  Prevailing fan theory says that some one - potentially Angela - or some group - potentially Talon or another anti-Overwatch organization - pulled his dying body out of the wreck and forced him to undergo experiments that transformed him into the Reaper.  If either of these theories are true, then his Play Overwatch biography is inaccurate and Chu is supporting the wrong timeline.

Part 2: the “Mercy botched Reaper” theory has largely been debunked.

https://us.battle.net/forums/en/overwatch/topic/20747844983#post-16

Granted, it was debunked by Chu, but technically, no one can find the supposed interaction of “This wasn’t my intention for you.”/”You knew what you were going,” so while it may have existed at one point, it has all but disappeared.  It’s entirely possible that fans misinterpreted or misheard the current Mercy/Reaper interaction of “what happened to you?”/”you tell me, doc” as implying that Mercy botched saving Reaper.  However, Old Soldiers also supports Chu, in its own way: Reaper does not say anything about Mercy failing to save him - he only resents Morrison and possibly Overwatch.

However, as someone in that Blizzard forum post points out, Reaper does have an audio line of “Don’t forget, you’re the one responsible for this,” although I personally cannot recall if or when he says the line in-game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoKRFx5Sb5g#t=4m7s

(Note that the video is about the Mercy botches saving Reaper theory and some of it may be outdated or have been removed from the game)

Anyways, back to the main point: Old Soldiers certainly implies that whatever made Reaper Reaper occurred sometime during Overwatch, or sometime after it, which, once again, when we do the math, generally does not add up to “decades” - unless the idea that Overwatch had a hand in making him into Reaper is true, or that they left him in the hands of some group that made him into Reaper and then “returned” him to Overwatch.

Plausible, but again…

Part 3: What the fuck kinda halfassed character motivation is that?

I personally find it strange that Reaper would work for a group he’s hated for “decades,” even as a double-agent.  It’s not that it’s impossible or even totally unheard of - it just seems unnecessarily shoddy in developing his character and placing it into the larger, admittedly inconsistent world of Overwatch.

It’s like trying to fit an old square block into a peg hole.

It would just be easier for Chu and the writing team to be clear and state that - much like Genji and Tracer and possibly even Soldier: 76 and Mercy - Reaper’s biography and his timeline have undergone numerous changes from the very beginning of development, to the game’s release, and even after, through Old Soldiers and Infiltration and beyond.  We all know what Blizzard did with the First Strike comic - admitting that the story had changed from its initial conception and therefore they needed to pull it was disappointing, but it at least acknowledged that their development of Overwatch’s world had shifted and would need to be reorganized.  Hell, if you pay close attention to the wording of the cancellation, you’ll see that Liao - supposedly the sixth member of the Overwatch original team - is not even mentioned in the entire post:

https://us.battle.net/forums/en/overwatch/topic/20752185714

I would be extremely...skeptical of Chu’s claims that the wording of Reaper’s biography is intentional - because we already know that Blizzard has retconned so much of the early Overwatch content and is putting the original lore through a massive overhaul.  So sure, maybe Reaper’s “decades” of work is going to be canon, but the fact remains that what is implied, right now, in the contradicting content that is out there, is that it is not.

Let me see if I can explain this:

From what is out there right now - Reaper blames Morrison, Overwatch, possibly some other group or people for his specific condition.  Ana - a character he worked with for his entire Overwatch career - is shocked by “what he had become.”  This is supported not only in Old Soldiers, but in their in-game interactions as well.

It would be extremely surprising if Reyes had been Reaper “the whole time” that Overwatch was around and Ana was completely unaware of his behavior, especially if the new fan theories that “Reaper” was his call sign are true.

From what Blizzard could eventually release - Reaper’s backstory could be changed to make it so that he was, in fact, Reaper for “decades,” that Reyes was turned into Reaper either during SEP or the Crisis or Overwatch eras - but that would involve scrubbing much of his current interactions with other characters, all of whom are surprised by “what he has become.”

“Oh but he was Reaper in secret” - what bullshit.  You think a globally-recognized hero, no matter how bitter he is, surrounded by the same people for nearly THIRTY YEARS, just sneaks off into the night to kill people and then comes back with literally no one noticing?

That makes Morrison and Amari both blind and incompetent.

The simplest conclusion is either:

1. Part of the “different direction” of First Strike will be reworking Reaper’s biography, and potentially changing a bunch of other information already out there and present in the game or

2. The “decades” line is just inaccurate.

Things change, even after a game is released.  Shit gets retconned all the damn time.  It happens.  Genji was not an Overwatch agent and then a cyborg.  Angela did not work for Overwatch at age 11.  The in-game map of Dorado’s location in Mexico is way different from the map in the Soldier: 76 origins trailer.  The photos of Junkrat and Roadhog in the bank are literally just their models from their “line up” pictures.  Reaper does not shoot bombs.  Liao seemingly does not exist anymore.  Tracer’s chronal accelerator can be removed.  Hanzo has a fucking undercut.  Torbjorn has eight children.  Symmetra now has her shield generator.  Roadhog has hook 2.1.

Things change.

I will be astounded if Blizzard can make all these contradictions work for Reaper, but I suspect somewhere, much like his fucking pipe bomb launcher and his “Don’t forget, you’re the one responsible for this” line and his bloody skintone, something, somewhere, will be cut or changed or contradicted.  I suspect that it is entirely possible that we will see a comic or a short or some sort of lore where Reyes was “left behind by his team” and tortured into becoming Reaper and then returned to work as a double-agent - something that happened “decades” ago, as opposed to a comic or short or some sort of lore where Talon or another group pulls him from the wreck of the Swiss Base and makes him into something new only “six years” ago.

Something that is, unfortunately, “the easy way out” of developing Reaper as a more complicated, more complex character.

Of course, at the rate story-based content is released for Overwatch, it could be a long while before we see the results of this whole debate and discussion and mess.

...Maybe even decades?

It’s hard to say.

So I can already figure a lot of people who have come across are saying, “Aren’t you just being a disgruntled, delusional fan?  Is your interpretation of this so important that you’re unwilling to change in the face of new information?”

That’s not really the point of this - I have my interpretation and it is unfortunately built on piles and piles of already-released, already-contradicting information that Blizzard has put out.  While I am a fan of post-Fall Reaper and the idea that he was made after the Swiss Base explosion, my biggest gripe with Blizzard isn’t Reaper at all, but fucking the Overwatch timeline as a whole.  The Crisis ended thirty years ago?  Morrison was Overwatch commander for twenty years?  When are Angela and Jesse recruited?  When did Winston escape from the moon colony?  Did he make Athena, or is she possibly an Omnic God Program like some fans hypothesize?  Who fucking joins “Post-Recall” Overwatch and why?  Why DOES Hanzo have an undercut?  What is the fucking point of the Ilios map and why do I care about guarding some hole to the center of the earth?  What is Junkrat’s secret?  Will we ever see Roadhog’s face?  Will Brigitte ever become a playable character?  Are you guys gonna fucking hire Terry Crews or not?

Blizzard has SO MANY FUCKING PROBLEMS in their timeline that the Reaper “decades” thing is just one surface part of the iceberg.

It’s fine and dandy to put gameplay and game design before story - Overwatch’s gameplay is practically seamless and so fucking fluid that you don’t even really need a story - it’s got that Halo “Red vs Blue” or Team Fortress 2 type chaos built into it and that makes it fun, flexible, and fair for the vast majority of players.

But it would be great for Blizzard to recognize - beyond Genji and Tracer, beyond First Strike - that the problems poking through the glue holding disjointed gameplay and story together do have an impact on how their characters and lore are perceived in the long run.

Whether that comes down to complaints about the Sombra ARG, or the disappointing amount of skins for some characters over others, or the fact that half the maps seemingly have nothing to do with the world being built, or the fact that the comics are good but totally separated from one another, or the fact that the shorts are just enough to tease and not enough to really explore the world and characters -

Or even if comes down to Reaper being a “bad guy” for “decades.”

Reyes having been Reaper for “decades” and therefore having been “a bad guy all along” will be a massive disappointment for everyone who wants to see the complicated, complex, dark-skinned, Latino character get a good backstory and eventually a good redemption arc - but it will be disappointingly expected too.  The silver lining is that he’s still one of the funniest, funnest, wittiest, most sarcastic characters in the game, and no matter how many contradictions they build onto him, nothing will take away from shit like “I’m back in black,” “Welcome to the black hole,” “I’m a high-functioning psychopath,” “What kind of name is Doomfist anyways?”, and the fucking line of solid gold, “It’s in the refrigerator.”

Also

Sometimes being the “bad guy” is way more fun than being the hero.

I have no fucking clue who’s actually gonna read all of this but in summary:

To Chu, if you come across this: be very careful about overhyping things or vaguing information for your followers.  I don’t think any of us here want to see the First Strike cancellation repeat itself.  When you wrote Old Soldiers, were you thinking about Reaper’s biography and the word “decades”?  It would be very interesting to learn how Blizzard’s timeline for Overwatch has changed throughout development.

To everyone else, whoever reads this: be skeptical of claims made by Blizzard, individual members of their team, and by fellow fans, including me!  Like, holy shit, it’s crazy cool you got this far, but seriously, take a look, click those URLs, find that missing dialogue, do the math.  “Word of God” means very little in this day and age when content creators change their ideas and stories all the time for something new, something they think is better.

Thanks for reading, sorry if I rambled in places, and sorry if I didn’t end very strong.  I wanted to write more shitty fic shit this morning but got totally sidetracked by hunting down this problem and it just...I’m tired of seeing funny, interesting, unique, creative characters get reworked by their creators into something more “typical” so that they don’t have to deal with the heavy lifting of the problems that come with defying expectations.  Reflections was a great start - hell, having such a diverse cast of characters to begin with was a great start - but I look at things like the First Strike cancellation and the whole “we’re moving in a different direction,” and it just echoes other video game series that have done the same thing in the past.

The theme of Overwatch is that there are “limitless possibilities” - “anyone can be a hero.”  The world could always use more heroes.  So to turn that around and make the “stereotypical bad guy” into a tired, tried stereotype once again would be bitterly disappointing.  And at a time when people of all races, ages, genders, beliefs, and origins are facing harsh, real world struggles in the face of renewed evils, Overwatch provides an opportunity for fun, fairness, and optimism.  To use that platform to tell the same tired, tried story is just exhausting.

[brundleflyforawhiteguy]

I’ve often thought that an Elm Street TV series would be the best way to continue the franchise. Yeah, they tried that with Freddy's Nightmares, and got…not so great results. But the problem is that Freddy needs to be used sparingly and tastefully so his menace isn't diluted. The first few movies introduce him in silhouette. They build up to his entrance. He's defeated by characters who find strength inside themselves, not a pipe bomb or a machete. Where would you would like the series to go?

I agree that it’s smart to keep Freddy in the shadows and make him scary again, but in some ways, the damage is already done. Like, the menace has already been diluted. He’s rapped with the Fat Boys and there’s no coming back from that. 

I also think that a TV series, not that it’s impossible, would be very tough because it’s hard to make Freddy scary in that way, in a way that requires him to keep to the shadows and be in the background, in the format of a weekly TV show. By its nature, it’s diluting. It’s exposing the character and drawing him into the light. 

The best course of action, to me, is to do a movie that would take in all those elements that made the early films work and just apply it to a new film and a new story. Best thing about a new movie that keeps Freddy in the shadows and is focused on making him scary again is that Robert could still play Freddy if that was the case. 

When Freddy’s front and center and the star of the show and operating under all this VFX, that’s when the fact that Englund’s too old for it comes into play. But if he’s in the darkness as more of a Nosferatu role, that’s absolutely still something he can pull off. 

I did write a spec script for an Elm Street movie (to be honest, that was the title, too, Elm Street) and tried to tell a new story that combined what I felt were some of my favorite aspects of the early films while also attempting to do something new. I tried to write a reason into the story that would allow Englund to come back to the role, and that was that Freddy was weaker, that he was once again needing to build up his power again and by doing that, he passed some of his own power into a handful of new characters. The plot was basically about sleeper agents.

The new angle was that these were all kids that Freddy had visited in their sleep when they were younger. He didn’t kill them, but he did scare them, and he suggested things to them. These kids have basically repressed these memories of Freddy, but they basically served as an “in case of emergency break glass” scenario for him. If he ever needed them, he could activate them, and they wouldn’t even really know what was happening. 

It was kind of a cross between Freddy’s Revenge and Dream Warriors. It was about Freddy manipulating these kids, but in doing so, also inadvertently giving them the powers they would need to fight back. The ending was something I had thought up when I was fourteen, honestly, years before I ever thought of what my own “take” on Nightmare on Elm Street would be. 

I just remember vividly having ideas about somehow, characters trapping Freddy in his own “nightmare” and a script about Freddy passing a portion of his power into these other characters allowed me to do that, so that it ends with Freddy being trapped in a loop where he is forced to live the day of his death over and over for all time. 

The script was full of references and call backs to the other movies, and those were things that I honestly think would hurt if I ever got to pitch it to a studio, because they wouldn’t care. Like, it was a deep-cut Elm Street movie to the point where it opened with a quote in red text on a black screen. The studio wouldn’t get the reference there, they’d just dismiss it as “nobody reads anymore.” 

It’s tougher for me to imagine Elm Street as an ongoing narrative TV series, but I could still see it happening. And it could be really interesting too. But I’d like to see one more good movie before it’s reimagined for television.