#I cleared out my queue so I don't feel like I need to keep it going

[famewolf]

my brain has been really out of whack recently (I think it's the time change among other things) so I'm going to try out some things to see if they help

I might not be on social media a whole lot in the next week or two, but if you're mutuals and want my discord, send me a message

[neverendingford]

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[thewickwheat]

I'm going to a post full details under the cut, but a short run down:

I've sort of vaguely mentioned this here and there but this year I'm forcing myself to go on a long hiatus. Its been something in the plans for years now, but I can't put it off any longer because 2024 was the worst wrist pain I've dealt with and I don't want to risk permanently damaging myself if I haven't already.

If you're waiting on a comm, don't worry! My hiatus won't officially start until I've finished them all up (estimating April-May to finish up everything), so just bare with me!

Character Sheet comms are staying open

If you're able and willing to support me during this break, please check out my shops or my Patreon!

Ko-Fi - Physical/Digital Merch + Donations

INPRNT - Physical Prints

Patreon - Process Videos and WiPs

Full details and extra info under the cut

So this has been a long time coming but this year I’ll be taking a long hiatus. This is something I’ve wanted to do for years but I can’t put it off any longer due to how bad my wrist pain was in 2024. I’m feeling incredibly burnt out as well and my turn around times growing longer and longer is a very clear sign of it. It also means I’ve had a growing anxiety that if I continue at this pace I will end up doing permanent damage to my body, if I haven’t already. Creating art is the one thing I know I want to do for the rest of my life, be that drawing for myself or helping other people see their visions come to life, and I don’t want to put that at risk.  

So I can’t put my hiatus off any longer and I’m making this year the start. If you are still waiting on a commission from me, don’t worry! I am going to keep working on them and my official hiatus time won’t start until everything has been finished up. I’m estimating April to May to get everything cleared off the table since I’m going to work at a steady pace. Character sheet commissions are going to remain open, they are not in high demand and I can put them in a queue and so should anyone have interest in one during my hiatus, it could be something I pick up when I need the extra cash. However all other types of commissions are going to be unavailable for the foreseeable future. 

I am aiming for a 6 month long hiatus at the least. If I can go longer I will aim for a full year break. Freelance and commission work has been my main source of income for over 10 years now, so during this time I may also look into getting a part time job so I don't have to rely so heavily on art, which will also affect how much I’ll be able to take on in the future. I’m not quitting art during this hiatus, I do want to keep drawing and creating! But I will be working at a slower pace, creating for myself, experimenting and trying other projects. I also have more merch ideas on the list to work on! I’ve got some plush designs I want to have made,namely a new Zenos plush that will have doll fiber hair that can be brushed and styled.

I will also design more tag style keychains with more XIV characters (like the Scions and other major NPCs), since people have really liked those a lot! I’ll also plan out some other ideas and maybe design some original design plushies or other merch. We’ll see!

If anyone enjoys my work and wants to help support me during my hiatus, please check out my available merch. I have prints on INPRNT, and a variety of items on Ko-Fi (limited prints, artbooks both physical and digital, keychains, stickers, etc.), I also have a patreon where I post process videos of illustrations. You can also drop donations of my Ko-Fi. I will be adding a goal that I’ll set at a high amount I don't expect to reach, just because I personally want a visual of donations or purchases during my break. Even small donations would mean a lot. If only 10% of my followers on twitter or tumblr bought a single Ko-Fi donation, it would be a substantial amount of money. I say this not to guilt folks into donating, but to point out small donations can still have a lot of power. And so I appreciate any support at all!

Thank you so much if you read this entire message. It means a lot to me and I hope a good long break means when I’m  able to get back to commission and freelance I’ll approach them with much more vigor and skill!

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm going to be honest

I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.

I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.

It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.

I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.

It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.

Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.

Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.

First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.

I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.

So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.

I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.

I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.

So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.

I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.

I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.

I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.

There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.

I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.

Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.

I'm forcing it and I'm tired.

It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.

I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.

It's not you, it's me.

So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.

Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.

I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.

I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.

Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.

I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.

It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.

I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.

This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.

Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.

Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.

[sulumuns-dootah]

Taking the WHB demons (+ angels) to the Zoo

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

A/N: It's my b-day! And as a treat to myself I went to visit a local Zoo so ofc I'll write about how our demons (+ angels) would behave if they got to go too! ^^

Characters: All of the demons + the Seraphs

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With Satan in your group, you don't have to worry about being suffocated in a crowd of people. In a true Satan fashion, they all get a healthy dose of his boots to their behinds if they get even remotely close. And no, children are not safe from him.

Sitri is the snacks and drinks provider. No need to buy overpriced slushies and ice-cream when as soon as you get a craving, something sweet is being handed to you.

As unathletic as Leraye is, you'll see him speedwalking from an enclosure to enclosure. Oh, but if the Zoo has a tropical house with storm sounds for the immersive ambiance? Good luck getting him out of there.

Paimon takes photos of everything and anything. Every few enclosures has to take a break to pick out the best photos and delete the rest to clear out space for more.

Interestingly, Belial - or moreso Jjyu is really quiet. Maybe because someone told him that if he doesn't learn his manners, he might end up as food for one of the animals. This also might be the first time Belial has had such peace and quiet since he first got Jjyu.

Please, tell Astaroth to keep his snake at home in advance. The last thing anyone wants is to argue with the staff that it's really his snake and that he didn't steal it.

You barely notice Zagan even being there. Well, if he didn't leave his talismans everywhere, that is. Despite being practically expresionless, you can see him softly smile while watching animals do something cute.

Ppyong acts like a toddler. In the beginning he'll fly around all excited, happily exclaiming at the actions of the animals. Then he gets all tired and whiny, so Zagan someone has to carry him around. Once he's all rested up, it's back to square one

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"Oh, that's you favorite animal? M'kay, gimme a second to look up how much it costs." - Mammon

"Look at them, all they do is lay around and do nothing and we still have to pay to see them!" - Bimet

Eligos nearly buy out the plushies in the souvenir shop. Can't balme him, tho, they're usually super cute (and expensive x.x).

Do you feel guilty for dragging everyone around just to see your favorite animals? Valerfor is more than happy to be dragged around! Just give him enough time to read the info plaque so the two of you can have an interesting convo later.

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Oh boy is it hard to get Leviathan to come with you. And honestly, I wouldn't recommend at all. The people make him anxious and the fact that the animals get all of your attention instead of him? How he wishes he could hang them all.

Foras is probably the best Hades noble to visit with. He's eager to see all the animals the place has to offer. Also doesn't mind being dragged around.

Scheduling tip: make sure the day is overcast. If it's rainy, Barbatos will refuse to go anywhere. If it's sunny, there's no way you can keep his clothes on and with all the kids around... yikes.

Glasyalabolas will hang around the predators and vultures. If he's not there, he's probably about, scaring unattended children.

A Zoo is an amazing place to release Orias back into the wilderness. Just let him loose to disappear amongst all the other children at the playground. There's a chance that some unfortunate parent will mistake him for their own kid and take him home.

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Beelzebub is excited to try out all the food at the food court/restaurant within the Zoo. If there's a queue, he'll just walk up to the front. In such case is handy to have Satan with you to kick everyone out of the way.

Our poor Bael tries to coordinate the whole trip with you. The whole time he's holding an itinerary with time spans that you can spend on certain sections so you can catch as much commented feedings as possible.

Stolas has you to stop at every stall with snacks. So what, Sitri has a whole bag of them? Those he can have anytime, but these are only available at the Zoo (they're not)

The only one who's allowed to tour the Zoo on his own, separate from the group is Naberius, because nobody's willing to stop at every enclosure so he can read the plaques and commit them to memory. The only ones he avoids are canines bc they count as his family or smth and he hates to see them caged.

Oh lord the amount of times you've accidentally left Amon behind because he fell asleep while sitting somewhere in shade on a bench. Only once Beel returns from his food tasting will Amon stick with the group, so he can spend time by his side.

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Similar to Glasyalabolas, Ronove likes to hang around vultures and animals known to scare people. If there's a night exhibition, he'd also enjoy that. Partially because when people get startled when they enter a room and see him just silently standing there.

Phenix is kinda a hard one. Obviously, in their state it's difficult to go out anywhere in the human world. They agree, so they're content wiht just seeing Paimon's photos.

Another demon, who better be left at home is Dantalian. Sure, he can pass as a human, but you'd have to have him on a leash or keep an eye on him constantly. The moment he's out of your sight, he'll just try to get into an enclosure of some dangerous animal.

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Taking out Belphegor could be actually funny. Get him a wheelchair and take turns witht he rest of your group pushing him around. Just make sure to not leave him anywhere, just like Amon.

Beleth loves the house of felines. He's the exact opposite of Naberius. He's aware how endangered some large cat breeds are and he's happy to see some of his nearly extinct relatives safely protected.

Our floor gremlin Gusion has the answer to every question you might have about an animal. How? He's literally looking at the plaque rn. (*tired side-eye*)

A trip? Bathin very much cuncurs. Actually, why even go to a local Zoo when you can go to the one at the other side of the country? But don't get surprised if he gets a bit too excited iykwim.

Andrealphus spends most of the time in an area dedicated to bees and showcasing beekeeping. (my zoo has it and it's super adorable) Most of the animal enclosures have a stench to them and the pollinating flowers are so soothing to him. Also there's something about the constant buzzing that helps calm his mind.

As long as Belphegor doesn't go, Agares is happy to join you. He's taken over his country and now he would like to take over your attention? Not happening. It's either him or Belphie.

And as a loyal servant, Vassago refuses to go anywhere if his king is not going either. If you end up going with these two, however, I would avoid commented feeding since they could technicaly count as a speech.

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Being there since the begining, Lucifer's seen all the animals on earth as they were made by God, so he doesn't really see a reason to go to a Zoo, but eventually agrees to go when the others keep talking about it.

Morax is the best demon to take with you. All animals tend to naturally flock to him and so whenever you approach an enclosure, the animal will walk as close to him as it can, giving you the best view and if it's safe to, you can even pet it.

Big cat lover no.2 AKA Marbas! Will wait unti it's the cats' feeding time and then just watch as they tear their meal apart (it's usually a whole dead rabbit from what I've seen).

Buer would much more preffer a quiet getaway to maybe do some yoga or meditation, but nobody really asks him. As long as it makes you happy, he's happy to tag along. You'll probably find him later on with Adrealphus in the bee field.

Ooh, Gamigin loves snakes! They remind him of dragons (notice how he doesn't think they're related). "Wow, look at that one! I was that size when I was about 1000 years old!"

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Gabriel will most definitely decline your invitation to come along from the get go, so here's what you do: instead of a trip to a Zoo, you tell him that you're going a place where humans celebrate all the different types of God's creations. If he actually endures the whole schebang is a whole different question, though.

Been there, seen the animals before. Michael isn't interested in going anywhere where humans congregate. Though, it would make wiping them out easier.

Raphael is actually happy to go along with you. The whole experience is like reading a book witht he author's commentary. "Oh, that one was my idea. Can you tell?", "Yeah, I was telling Michael that it was a bad idea, but he wouldn't listen.", "Ahah, that one is scary to you? Gabriel made that one!"

[your-nanas-house]

Experimenting with your husband

◇ Pairing: Robert Fischer X wife!Reader

◇ Warnings: smut, marriage, spanking with queue book, brief cock sucking and cum swallowing, awkwardness, role-play gone wrong.

◇ Summary: You want to try something new with your husband.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. This is inspired by this post of @tommyshelby87

Thoughts of regret started to fill your head as your husband watched you with a poker face.

He had returned from a stressful day of work and had been complaining about it non-stop, walking around the huge house while getting into his home clothes made of smooth silk and his rich soft slippers that matched yours.

As your husband kept rambling you kept pondering about your own things and the increasing need to try out the new found kink and how to approach the topic.

Which brings you to where you were at that moment... sat at the dining table with the food in front of you and Robert frozen in place. 

It wasn't one of your best ideas to approach such a topic while eating casually spaghetti with tomato sauce. You could have started it in any other way and you were aware of it, mentally slapping you the past 2 minutes as your man didn't seem to react at all to what you said, remaining still and confused or maybe shocked, disgusted... you didn't know because he didn't move a single muscle.

"Robert... I.. we don't have to do it. I didn't think it was a big deal since it's not the first time you spank me— please say something. You don't have to spank me with your cheque book if you don't want to, love" you began to ramble, apologizing and trying to reassure him while continuing to mention your desire, making him become pinker and pinker unconsciously.

"Y/n...Y/n!" Robert raised slightly his voice to make you stop, his glass of wine brushing against his lips just waiting to be drank 

"I never said no... we— w-we can try, I mean.. who am I to deny my wife, hm?" He continued before gulping down the dark red liquid in one go. 

The rich man could already feel the familiar tingle that usually was followed by the rush of his blood straight to his cock. 

The experience was new for sure, he tended usually to make love to his wife not just fucks, quickies where present in their intimate life but still— he never fucked his wife like a cheap whore or treating her as inferior. 

"Ok... so we?.... Bedroom?" His voice nearly cracked as he tried awkwardly to communicate with you who were watching him, a bit nervous. 

It seemed like it was your first time, awkwardly talking, eager but shy smiles plus awkward the rush to the bedroom while dumping slightly against each other and the embarrassing apologies.

"We keep our safe word" Robert informed you as he searched the specific object you requested for the spanks of that night in his work coat, his hands shaking slightly as his eyes never left your nervous but excited form

"Okay, love?" He asked in search of reassurance before trying to fit in his new role. 

As soon as you nodded, confirming that you would use your usual word if you wanted him to stop, the businessman cleared his throat before speaking again using a bit raspier tone than usual

"Good girl... undress" he demanded, watching you while elegantly fixing his robes so as to take place on the bed easily and enjoy the small show

"You can keep on my favorite" his slender finger played a bit with the hem of the lacy black thong you were wearing, tracing slowly the form down to the wet spot between your legs and stopping there for a couple of seconds just feeling.

Your body was shivering as you let him check you as if you were meat or… a gemstone, his gentle finger tips traveled around your skin again till they stopped on your lower stomach.

A loud click of his tongue echoed softly in the room, interrupting your heavy breathing and signaling the start of your new experience.

"Lay down on my lap, sweetheart" Robert ordered, patting his thighs which were covered by the smooth fabric of his silk pants. 

The material felt amazing against your bare warm skin, it just rubbed softly against it every time you moved slightly to adjust in a comfortable position, ready to receive anything your husband would give you.

"You're surprisingly very pretty for a cheap whore, darling" The man hummed, getting in the part as best he could as his eyes never left his hand which were busy kneading your round ass cheeks

"Tell me what you want again" his tone lowered as he brushed his lips against your ear when you tilts your head slightly up to look at him

"I-I want you to keep me bend over your lap.. take your queue book and spank my ass with it... sir" you whispered, gulping slightly since you still needed to adjust at the kind of roleplay they were creating and you could tell by the rosy cheeks of your husband that he needed some minutes too

"Good girl, you've been a very good girl. I might actually reward you with what you desire... dirty slut" he gulped out the name testing the water before falling in an awkward silence just like you.

The embarrassing situation was starting to become a bit of a turn off for the both of you, so you needed to take the lead and guide your man into something less uncomfortable so as to satisfy yourselves.

"Baby, this isn't working so well, maybe... without the role-play and the mean names. Just be yourself, yes?" At your words Robert nodded quickly, relieved and ready to start again in a less embarrassing way

"Someone told me you've been bit lazy today, wife" the man informed you with a teasing tone before continuing, his fingertips traveling again on your skin, drawing imaginary lazy patterns on it

"Very lazy actually... need your husband to pay you to do some home chores, now?... or maybe you just need a little punishment, hm? What you say, love? Do you agree with your man? What is it that you need?" Hearing his teasing and scolding tone you just nodded along, your breath hitched at the mere thought of what was about to come and you could already feel your wetness on your own thighs.

It took Robert little time to go for the first spank, trying at first to be sure that you were still comfortable... then he hit another time, bit harder, still testing, the rich paper collided with your skin... again and again. 

It wasn't uncomfortable per sé, quite enjoyable especially because your husband was the usual caring one and made sure not to cut or hurt you too much with the book while still using enough force to satisfy your need. 

His ego drank from your moans and his cock started to twitch in his pants, pressing more and more against your stomach as you wiggles slightly and hissed on his lap at the stinging sensation each time the paper hit your now red-ish ass.

He felt quite pathetic to be that worked up for something like that, he hadn’t even reached the twentys spanks and he was already about to cum like a damn teeneager

"Love, sorry— fuck, I can't anymore. I don't wanna cum in my pajamas, can you suck it, please?" Robert begged you with a soft whine, breaking completely his cocky facade as he got closer and closer to release pathetically and messily

"Please, love.. please— fuck" he cursed and begged more, sighing in relief just when you smiles amused and shifted in a kneeled position between his legs, your mouth wrapped around his angry red tip as your tongue worked him and your hand took care of your needy pussy as well.

You were a bit surprised though, expecting you to enjoy it more than him... but you were wrong given the rock-hard length that was down your throat shooting thick warm cum. 

You sure had him riled up pretty bad.

[wip]

AH ANOTHER ONE, POST LIMITS!!!!!

I don't know why we're still only using 250 posts per day across all blogs. I hit this SO often and it's extremely frustrating. Are there plans to raise this???? Double it to 500?? Make it 250 PER BLOG at least???

Something that isn't just roughly ten posts an hour, which can go by extremely fast when you're trying to support artists and various crowdfunding efforts. There's not even a way to increase post limit with an ad free subscription, this seems like something that doesn't need to stay the way it is and i feel like we should talk about this and figure out a better number.

I get how limits help fight back against spam, but last week i kept hitting post limit early in the day because the counter resets at 9pm for me - so all of my late night posts + everything that piled up in the queue since i was blocked all day before 9pm gives me significantly less room to work with the next day. I am not spam, i am a human being, and doing regular organic activity is getting me driven off the site!!! the way this feels is like do you want us on here or not lol?? why are we being punished for finding it engaging, I do not think 250 is a reasonable limit.

250posts/24hrs is 10.4 posts an hour, and is all you have to work with regardless of how many other side blogs you maintain. There's not even a way to see how many posts you have left for the day, I think post limit needs addressing!!!! or at least some kind of acknowledgement to start!! 250 forever just does not make sense

Answer: Hi there, @cinna-bunnie!

A little tease for y’all, because we just can’t help it—we hear you loud and clear. We are working on this, and we think you should stay tuned.

👀

You’ll know more soon, and we like to think you might like what you see. Have a great day, and keep the questions coming, folks.

[inside-lees-mind]

Hiii (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

I see that u r accepting nsfw asks🫶

So can I request an Ukyo x reader where the reader is touching theirself then ukyo hears them and helps them??

It's okay if you don't want to do this tho 🥲

hiiii thank you for the request! I’ll totally write this!

So sorry, I’m going to assume fem! Reader. Do let me know if you wanted otherwise.

Warnings: Masturbation, Oral (Fem! Receiving)

He couldn’t help it. His ears were too sensitive. Too sensitive to not notice the slick sounds of what he can only assume is the pad of your finger teasing yourself. Too sensitive to not notice the sound of a finger sliding in, then back out with a slick “pop!”

Too sensitive to not notice the way your breath hitches as quiet squelches leak out from behind your bedroom door, if you could even call it that.

You had assumed he was a sleep, and maybe if he was he wouldn’t have woken up over such small noises, but he wasn’t. He didn’t know what to do. In this stone world, he currently has no earplugs, headphones, muffs, or anything to drown out the sounds.

And unfortunately, as disgusting as he felt for it, he couldn’t control the way his pants tightened, the way his breath hitched with yours, or the way his mind can’t help but picture what your face must look like. And that image doesn’t help the situation in his pants at all.

He feels it’s too far to let himself touch himself to your sounds. After all, you didn’t even know he was listening. And though it’s not his fault, he’d feel creepy and like he took advantage if he made it a silent mutual thing. So he endures it until he hears you grunt and a whisper falls from your lips.

“Ukyo…” he heard it loud and clear, even though you’d whispered it low enough anybody else wouldn’t have noticed. Then a low groan and you whisper again, “It’s not enough…”

He can’t help but let the idea cross his mind that maybe he could make you cum quick. And he finds himself nearing your door, though he feels selfish for not keeping his mouth shut and staying still during this. He hesitates, but now he feels creepier if he doesn’t knock. After all, now he’s standing at the door, close enough that with his ears he’s certain you’re curling and thrusting in 2 fingers, but the rhythm he picks up for your clit is irregular. And your disappointed noises that follow soon after tell him that’s not how it’s supposed to be.

So before you can do anything else, he knocks in the door. He hears you freeze, the air goes still and silent, before finally you call out.

“Uh… yes?”

“Hey…” He doesn’t know what to say yet, but he quickly tries to think of the right words. “I heard my name.”

“Oh, sorry I must have been dreaming.” You chuckle awkwardly, lying through your teeth.

“I heard more than that.” He says quickly, tone clearly a bit more nervous than he intended. It goes silent for a moment before he hears shuffling, then footsteps, and lastly the door swings open.

You’re standing there is pajamas that are haphazardly thrown on. He knows it’s a little weird to think, considering the lack of consent given thus far, but he wishes you hadn’t gotten dressed again.

“I heard my name, and I know that doesn’t mean that you want to have sex with me, but I figured I’d… uh… ask? Do you want any help?” He’s more calm than a lot of people would be, but he’s also a nervous wreck inside.

“Yes, I do.” You answer quickly, and on queue, both of you are backing into the room, the thin excuse for a door gets locked behind him.

He decides he’d take his time, within reason, because he’s fairly certain you’re already sexually frustrated.

Between the two of you, it was fairly obvious there were feelings. Even the two of you could see that. However, the two of you have no relationship. So he knows he’s gotta cover some basic respectful bases. Not only that, but he’s dying to kiss you.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, and you chuckle. It’s cute he feels the need to ask when you let him in to have sex. You nod, and he closes the gap between you two. He pecks your lips first, before changing to an open mouth kiss, one that deepens in hunger as a new kind of heat brews between the two of you.

Once the two of you are exploring the taste of each other’s mouthes with your tongues, he finally starts to touch you. His hands find their way under your shirt, and soon his lips leave your mouth for your neck. His hands leave your shirt to slip off your pants, but not before looking to you for permission, which you grant.

And soon his head is buried between your thighs, his tongue lapping at your clit in an experimental rhythm. His eyes are locked on your face, watching your reactions. Once he finds the pace he sees, or more so hears, the best reaction, he keeps it and adds his fingers into your cunt.

His fingers curl a few times before rubbing against your g-spot, then pulling out and pushing back in time with his tongue on your clit. He continues his motions as you tangle your hands in his white hair, your head thrown back as you breathe heavily.

“Don’t stop…” You breathe out. He hums against your clit in response, causing you to whine.

He doesn’t stop, he doesn’t change anything. And soon your hips buck up against his face a bit, which he doesn’t mind, and your back arches off the bed. Your legs shake a bit as he pushes you over the edge.

“Fuck, yes! Ukyo!” You shout, moaning for him.

“So pretty…” he mutters when he pulls away, slick covering his chin.

You’re already thinking about returning the favor.

I was half awake when I wrote this so I apologize if it’s not very great at points. I’ll look over it tomorrow but I’m posting it for now.

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Emmy

Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend Emily for a while but see her flirting with JJ, or so you think…

Word Count: 2.1k

Fluff, self doubt? slight miscommunication

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

Reader POV:

Why does she have to sit like that?? Like it's so hot. Never thought I'd have a thing for man spreading but here we are. To be honest I never thought I had a thing for brunettes but then Miss Emily Prentiss waltzed into my life and now my perspective of everything has changed.

She's talking to JJ about something and I see Jayj brush over Emily arm, she's flirting, teasing. I'm suddenly grounded again and look down at the file I'm supposed to be working on. I can feel that godforsaken lump in my throat forming. Fuck sake, I can't cry at work. Especially over some stupid unrequited crush. I though Emily was just busy and that's why she's been blowing me off more lately but clearly not. She's found someone else.

I knew Emily would never like me, but damn did it have to hurt this bad? We're best friends which doesn't help the situation although I thought I made my feeling abundantly clear with my glances, touches, comments and flirting. Clearly not. I look up again at the sound of Emily laughing. I could listen to her laugh in repeat all day, it's the best sound in the world in my opinion. But, I soon realise the reason her head is thrown back and her cheeks have become flushed is because of JJ. She's laughing at some joke she made.

I take this as my queue to take my work and go sit with Garcia for a bit, she's like my sister we don't have secrets. I tell her everything, she tells me everything. That's how we work.

I'm walking down the corridor lost in my head and accidentally bump into Rossi.

"Hey, kiddo. Slow down, your gunna run someone over if you keep that speed up!" He said light heartedly with a warm smile. I look at him and mumble a sorry before I try continue my previous beeline to Pen's office. He obviously realised something is off as he grabs my bicep before I can run off again.

"Y/L/N, are you okay?" Those stupid three words, 'are you okay?'. I hate it when people ask because then the waterworks take that as their signal to turn on.

I turn and look him, teary eyed. "Yeah, I'm okay, ah uhm I was just going to see Garcia."

I say chocking back tears.

"Oh kid." He immediately brings me into his embrace, rubbing my back soothingly. This is his way of saying 'I'm here if you wanna talk but I won't press' and that's why I love Rossi. He's always there but never forces you to talk before you happy to. I pull away after a minute.

"Thanks Rossi. I needed that, but I should get to Penelope I have a couple things to run by her." He could tell I was lying and that I was only going to Pen because I needed to talk to her but he went with it anyway.

"Okay well, I'm around if you need okay?" I nod and continue walking to Garcia's office.

I knock the pattern that me and Pen made up my first day on the team so she'd know it was me knocking on the door. "Come in my love!" I hear her call out cheerfully from the other side. Her chair swivels round so she can see me and her once chirpy mood is instantaneously changed to one of extreme concern. "Oh honey what's wrong?" She says as she brings me into a hug.

"It's stupid, Pen." I say realising how childish I'm being right now.

"No," she says pulling away so I can look he in the eye "Your emotions are never stupid. Don't invalidate your feeling y/n/n. Ever." I smile gratefully at her and pull a chair from the corner and sit next to her at her desk. "Okay, so..." and off I went.

I told her about my massive crush on my best friend and how we have been flirting on and off, spending more time alone together, the glances the lingering touches. I told her everything. My cheeks were stained with tears by the time I finished.

"Honey, I don't understand why you're crying though that's all so amazing, what's got you down?" She says the confusion evident in her voice.

"She's been blowing me off so much recently and I didn't know why but I think I just figured it out." My skin around my nail is now bleeding slightly where I've been picking at it. A habit both Emily and me share.

"What is it?" Garcia says realising my hesitation.

"I don't wanna sound jealous or crazy or just downright mean but I think she likes JJ. I mean just now they were talking in the Bullpen and JJ was touching her arm and it wasn't just an innocent touch you know? I could just tell. Then when I tried to ignore it and finish my work I heard Emily laugh at one of her jokes and I looked up to see Em with her head back laughing and Jayj's hand on her shoulder." I choke back sobs while ranting to Pen when someone knocks on the door. "Shit." I mumble under my breath and Pen tells me not to worry and just face the computers and look busy. So I do just that.

"Hey Garcia I need a really quick favour from you if that's okay?" I hear the person say from the doorway. At this moment I think the universe must have it out for me at this point. The person who needs a favour from Garcia is the exact woman I've just spent the last 30 minutes crying over. Emily Fucking Prentiss.

"Oh hi y/n/n!" She says all too cheerfully to be the person who's been cancelling all her plans with me.

"Hi Emmy." After I say hi back I immediately regret it because you can hear the tears in my voice, it's gone all groggy and horrible.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" she rushes over to my side after she hears me speak and brings my head to her stomach as she's standing and i'm sitting. Even though she's the reason I'm in this state to begin with I can't help but wrap my arms around her waist and stuff my head into her shirt and take in her comforting presence.

"Uhm I'm gunna leave you two be for a minute." I hear Pen say before she leaves and I hear the door click shut.

Goddamnit Garcia. I think to myself.

"What's got you all worked up, huh?" She says in the most soft, loving voice I've ever heard which just makes me swoon even more.

"Okay, look Em, I'm gunna say a lot of things and I just need you to listen right now okay?" She grabs Garcia's chair and sits opposite me, our knees brushing as she takes my hands in hers to make me stop picking my nails.

"Okay, go for it. I'm all ears." she stares into my eyes and I gaze back into her honey brown eyes, god I could stare at them all day and never get bored.

"You're the reason I'm crying Emmy." she looks taken aback but keeps true to her word and let's me continue nonetheless.

"Emily, I am so scared to say this but there's truly no other way to explain why I'm so upset without telling you. I'm so helplessly in love with you it hurts Em. I thought I was dropping hints with the flirting and the touches and glances but clearly I wasn't obvious enough. You keep blowing me off and saying you're too busy to hang out but I realise now that's not the case. I saw you and JJ in the Bullpen today and the way she was looking at you and how her hand lingered on your arm, and the way she held your shoulder when you were laughing. Even just the way you laughed you threw your head back and everything. Emmy, if you're into JJ that's fine but I just wished you told so I could be let down gently and not feeling like I've been stabbed in the heart."

About halfway through my little rant I started crying again and she started to say my name to try get me to stop talking but I wouldn't listen because I needed to get my feelings out in the air.

"Are you done?" She asked as she brings my hands, that's she's still griping, into her lap, causing me to lean a little closer to her.

"Yes." I say quietly so only she could hear.

"Okay now I'm going to do something and you're not allowed to interrupt me, okay?" The only expression I could see on her face was love and admiration which confused me but I nodded anyway.

"Good. Now, what I want to say is, I love you too y/n/n." A smile is plastered across her face as she confesses to me, my face was quite the opposite. My jaw was on the floor and my eyes were slightly wide.

"What do you mea-" all of a sudden her finger on my lips silenced me.

"I'm not finished." She says with a smirk.

Her finger that was on my lips, now rests on the side of my face cupping my cheek. Her thumb is brushing over my skin as she pulls me in.

Our lips collide and I know it's super cliché but I felt sparks. It's like all the doubts I'd ever had had just dissipated within a millisecond of her lips being on mine. Her free hand moved to my waist as I deepened the kiss by weaving my hand into her raven curls and pulling her impossibly closer. Slowly she coaxes me off the chair and into her lap, and she rests her hand on my hip the other firmly planted on the back of my neck, making sure I don't pull away. Her lips glided across mine like we had done it a thousand times before. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip asking for entrance which I gave her.

After a few minutes of just making out her lips detached from mine and made their way to my neck. I leaned my head to the side to give her more access. She pulled down part of my shirt and sucked at the pale skin. She pulled away and kissed the now purple spot on my chest before covering it back up with my shirt and making her way back to my mouth.

This time the kisses were sweet and short, we broke apart to look at each other when I broke the silence.

"What does this mean Emmy?" I say, My voice full of hope.

"Well my tongue was just down your throat I hope it's clear what this means." She joked and I let out a laugh. "I want to be yours y/n/n, if you'll let me. Also, I never had nor will I ever have a thing for JJ, I promise sweetheart." The use of the nickname made me smile brightly and she noticed taking a mental note to keep using them. She kissed my forehead as I began to speak. "Of course I'll be your girlfriend Em."

At this she kissed me, but this one felt different. All the love and passion we had for one another was poured into this short interaction.

We pulled away as we heard the door click open again and watched Garcia walk in.

"Oh my god! You guys!!" She squealed delighted at the scene in front of her. I smiled and climbed off Emily's lap. "Are you two..?" Pen said, gesturing between me and Emily.

"We sure are!" Em said, looking at me lovingly. I just nodded and thanked Garcia for listening to me cry for nothing before making me way to the door.

Emily's hand found it's way into mine as we began to walk out of Pen's office both smiling and chatting quietly just to one another.

As we walked back into the Bullpen Rossi looked out his office window and gave me a thumbs up, I returned the gesture and sat down at my desk, filled with happiness and briming with excitement about what the future holds.

[antianakin]

Also, I had another question for you, if you don’t mind giving your thoughts on it: I recently came across a post criticizing Obi-Wan and Yoda for not telling Luke that Anakin was ‘Darth Vader’: AKA: his father. And I think it’s been kind of established that they were going to tell Luke when they felt he was ready, but when things spiraled out of control at the beginning of ‘A New Hope’ that they thought it would just be too painful? And like… OBVIOUSLY they are not telling Luke he needs to kill Anakin to be cruel. They’re telling him Anakin WILL force Luke’s hand into having to defend himself because Anakin will try to slice Luke’s fucking head off. Lol.

But anyway, the reason this tumblr post I came across bothered me is because it was really vindictive and bitter in accusing Yoda… of wanting revenge. Like… saying THAT’S the reason Yoda tried to get Luke to kill Anakin. And not… idk… the fact the galaxy was on fire. 🤦‍♀️ Essentially, they admitted that what the Jedi went through was a genocide. But instead of showing SYMPATHY, they turned it around by saying that Yoda was CRUEL and demonizing him even if he DID want revenge… as a GENOCIDE victim. And it just felt… SO gross. 😭🤢 Because it was OBVIOUS what they cared about the most was Anakin’s pain in the suit and Luke’s conflict with killing Anakin. But Yoda being a GENOCIDE VICTIM meant nothing to them. And that isn’t even the REASON Yoda and Obi-Wan say Luke may have to kill Anakin! It’s because Anakin is dangerous and burning the galaxy down with Palpatine at that point in time. Essentially; they believe it’s for the greater good.

But what REALLY grinds my gears is how even if their theory about Yoda WAS true… they would demonize the GENOCIDE VICTIM over wanting justice/revenge over the actual guy who helped slaughter them. 🤦‍♀️🤢 It just… pissed me off SO much. Lol.

But anyway, you don’t have to give your thoughts if you don’t want to, but I always love hearing your take on backwards logic like this from radical Anakin/Anidala/anti Jedi fans (this was from a radical Anidala fan, which I guess makes sense now that I think about it why they didn’t care about the Jedi’s plight and just the Skywalker family’s pain).

Someone else sent me an ask about something very similar to this yesterday. My response is in the queue, so I don't want to completely overlap this. But whatever post generated these asks, I'm so glad I've curated my dash enough not to have to see it.

I think people seem to overestimate the amount of time Obi-Wan and Yoda have in which they could have told Luke about Vader.

Obi-Wan is a stranger to Luke for most of his life, something that generally gets explained away in other media as Owen not wanting Obi-Wan around, but it's not super clear in the films themselves why Obi-Wan has kept his distance for so long. But regardless, he has. And Obi-Wan DOES give Luke quite a lot of information that his aunt and uncle have been keeping from him in the immediate aftermath of them meeting in ANH. He tells him that his father was a Jedi who was "killed" by Darth Vader, and he tells him Darth Vader was his student and that Vader betrayed them all. The only thing missing is that these are the same people, but also this is their FIRST conversation about this and Obi-Wan is pretty clearly trying to gently bring Luke into this wider world he's never known and not just drop a bunch of massive bombshells on his shoulders. He's also trying to convince Luke to leave Tatooine with him, and it likely won't help to tell him that his father is a traitor who is currently still an incredible danger to him.

And then Owen and Beru die and Luke is in mourning and Obi-Wan's primary focus is on getting to Alderaan and not throwing more pressure on Luke than he can handle in a situation where he's already going to feel under a lot of pressure. And then he dies. And while Obi-Wan is occasionally able to speak to Luke after he dies, it seems to be pretty sporadic at best and he can't stick around for very long until after Luke gets to Dagobah. So his ability to have a nice long conversation about Vader is incredibly minimal.

And finally there's Luke's time on Dagobah where he does seem to have more ready access to both Obi-Wan and Yoda, but Yoda is still seeing a LOT of reasons to keep this information from Luke. Luke struggles with believing in himself, he takes a weapon into the cave, he's reckless and impulsive, etc. And there's no telling just how long the two of them have together and it's more important to get Luke as trained as possible so that he stays alive (and also so that when it IS time for him to learn this information, he can HANDLE IT).

And that's it. There's always bigger priorities and good reason for both Yoda and Obi-Wan to believe that Luke isn't quite ready to learn this given how painful of a truth it would be. And you know what? When Luke IS given this information, he nearly gives up on everything as a reaction. He wasn't ready. Yoda and Obi-Wan were right.

The other ask I answered is more about Obi-Wan telling Luke he has to prepare himself for the super likely possibility that he'll have to kill his father, so I won't go into that much here. It's weird to put accusations on Yoda since, to my memory, Yoda and Luke never HAVE a conversation about Vader, let alone one where Yoda tells Luke to kill him. Is the argument supposed to be that Yoda kept the information from Luke so that Luke would always hate Anakin and therefore be more likely to kill him?

But. Yeah. The kinder, more objective answer to this is like you said, they're preparing him for the possibility that Anakin will try to kill HIM and so he might have to defend himself. They're preparing him for the possibility that Anakin CANNOT BE SAVED because he's shown exactly no inclination to stop murdering people for the last twenty some-odd years, even when faced with people he used to claim to love. Don't lose a thousand people just to save one. If Luke refuses to do what has to be done and dies as a result (or is turned into a Sith himself), the entire galaxy suffers. Leia MIGHT be able to pick up the torch after him (although she'd never have a living master to help her train), but it would probably take YEARS before she could manage to do what Luke could not.

The more bitter answer to this from someone who's not a fan of Anakin is that Anakin deserves it. Like you said, I'm more inclined to feel sympathy for the people who are genocide victims wanting justice or even vengeance for what was done to them than I am inclined to feel sympathy for the person who committed said genocide. It's why I feel a hell of a lot more sympathy for Reva than I ever have for Anakin (Reva also stops killing people WAY earlier than Anakin and shows more empathy towards people she's not personally related to than Anakin ever does). I'm over here HOPING that suit hurts him, I HOPE that he struggles to breathe every day, I hope his breath burns in his lungs every time air is pumped into him, I hope he feels that pain every moment of every day he has to stay alive. I could not give less of a shit about Anakin's pain. It's not even just the one genocide, either. Every single clone who dies after Order 66, their enslavement and loss of what little autonomy they had, can thank Anakin for what was done to them. And then he spends over TWENTY YEARS spreading pain and destruction and death across the galaxy. There are MILLIONS of lives gone exclusively because of Anakin. Anakin is DROWNING in the blood of the people he's killed. I hope it suffocates him. Even if Obi-Wan and Yoda DID want Luke to kill his father out of vengeance, I wouldn't blame them.

So yeah. Fuck Anakin. Who gives a shit if he's in pain. Luke is so lucky he didn't have to actually get to know his complete shit heel of a father and that his primary father figures ended up being Owen, Obi-Wan, and Yoda. Imagine how awful his life would've been if he'd actually had to live with Anakin as a father at any point. Luke dodged a bullet in so many ways.

This is why I don't engage with people like that anymore. There's so little point. I'm set in my ways and opinions now for the most part and they likely are, too. Arguing with them is just going to make everybody feel worse. I'd rather stay in my corner, even if I'm ranting in that corner.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

Pinned FAQ

How do I request a card?

You can request up to 3 cards for free during openaskbox events! During those, the /ask inbox opens up for a few hours, during which I try to write as many as I can live on twitch and post them on tumblr.

After the event is over and I close that inbox, there are still a BUNCH of leftover requests. This is how I fill the daily content queue, I use those up til it's empty again and then run another openaskbox.

On Saturdays at 1pm EST I write all 28 cards due to go up for the week from that pool of leftover asks live on twitch and then queue them to go up after stream

What if I don't wanna wait?

If you'd like to throw a bit of cash around instead of waiting, you can buy via the etsy listing or you can tune in to those^ Saturday livestreams, there's a variety of ways to donate to get cards written for you on the spot

How do I buy the card I've requested?

The etsy listing is available here! Please remember to include in the notes of the purchase which card(s) you want to buy. If you'd like me to bundle together all the cards you've requested over a period of a few years, dm me here on the blog and I can quote you on a cheaper bundle price

Why did you answer all those asks, it messed up my dash?

Sorry about that! So to keep all of that ^ organized, at the end of the month, I answer about 112-140 leftover asks in order to record them to a proper "to-write document"

It helps me keep organized, it allows me to easily search for spelling issues, and it gets a few eyeballs on the request in case someone tries to slip an obscure slur into their request that I'm not cool with writing (it has happened)

Lots of the regulars are used to this dash nonsense, but there are folks who want to avoid it entirely. If you're on mobile I'd just recommend unfollowing for a while, but if you're on desktop, you can blacklist the tag "added to notepad" and go to xkit to tick the "fully hide blocked tags" option so it clears up your dash

Wait I thought requests were closed, why can I still send things?

That's because requests use /ask, but /submit is always open because it's for YOUR calligraphy, pet photos, fanart of man... etc. Requests are NOT open when it's not openaskbox day but feel free to send me cool shit YOU made anytime

Wait you have a twitch, do you do anything other than calligraphy?

I try! my schedule at work (restaurant) varies week to week so I try my best to stream whenever I've got free time to, nothing's really planned out though

What are your regular writing tools and paper?

I mainly just use speedball nibs, specifically the c-series (c-0 through c-4) because they're angled flat nibs that let me do most blackletter hands I write. I have a supply of leonardt thin tips for detailing and illustrating

The blackletter hands I use rotate through a gothic textura, an italic, a fraktur and an uncial throughout the day, since I post four cards per day.

As for paper, the cards you see on the daily are on plain index cue cards I buy from staples. When commissioned/doing larger pieces, I work with a variety of paper, including a 32 lb xerox paper that has juuuust a perfect amount of lamination that avoids ink feathering, black paper that I bought a hundred sheets of in 2019 and I no longer remember the label, and a BOATLOAD of southworth's ivory parchment paper at both 32 and 64 lb weights. If you're looking to get anything larger than 11x17, I have a bigass 18x24 pad of watercolour paper I can cut down to whatever size we need.

[scary-grace]

Enough to Go By (Chapter 4) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 4

You think about Tenko more now, but you’re allowed to – he’s your patient, and if he was your patient at the clinic, you’d expect to see him for a follow-up on the four gunshot wounds you cleaned and dressed. You’re allowed to think about him, so you think about him. You think about him a lot.

The thoughts take two directions. One is just wondering about him – how he’s feeling, how he spends his days, what he’s thinking about, what he thinks of you, whether he’s thought about you at all. The other is thinking about the situation he’s in. His parents and grandparents and his sister are dead. He’s been missing for fifteen years. He’s got a quirk and he’s a villain, ambitious and strategic enough to target UA High and escape alive, albeit badly injured. His guardian is a cloud of mist in a suit with some kind of split personality. And there’s someone else in his world – two someone elses. The doctor he referenced, who wouldn’t help him, and the one he calls Sensei, who gave him his new name and a hand to wear over his face and set him up to fail.

You think about Tenko a lot, but you can’t think about him all the time, because now that you’re a nurse, you’re twice as busy as you were before. The doctors expect more of you, and so do the other nurses – and so do the MAs and CNAs and high school students who are starting their apprenticeships, since you now have three years’ experience to go with your reputation for smoothing things over with difficult patients. Your friends keep you busy, too. They might call Kazuo to find out if something’s wrong with them, but they call you to find out what to do about it.

“You need to get a scan,” you say to Yoshimi for probably the fifth time. “I know you don’t want to –”

“It’s weird!”

“Not any weirder than whatever Yoji does when the two of you are at second base,” you say, and in the background of the call, someone snickers. If you had to guess, you’d say it’s Mitsuko – she has the guts to bully Yoshimi into making the call, combined with the brass balls to feel comfortable eavesdropping. “It’s called a mammogram. You’d have to start getting them at some point anyway, just like we all do. It’s just to make sure there’s nothing weird going on.”

“Stop it. You’re freaking her out for no reason.” Yoji’s there, too. “It’s probably just an STD.”

You’re stunned into silence for a second by the sheer classlessness of saying that about one’s own girlfriend, but you bounce back fast. “First of all, they’re called STIs, genius. Secondly, there’s not an STI on the planet that gives you nipple discharge. Yoshimi, get the scan. I’ll go with you if you want. Just get it done.”

“Can I do it at your clinic?”

“Uh –” You glance at the Imaging queue. Things look quiet, but you can’t count on that to last – but if you report Yoshimi’s symptoms, which include soreness, nipple discharge, and what she describes as a weird rash, you’re pretty sure the doctor on call will bump her to the head of the line. “Yeah, come in now. I can’t stick around after my shift, though. I have stuff to do tonight.”

“Ooh, stuff. Let me see –” There’s some rustling, which you can only assume is Mitsuko grabbing the phone. “Is stuff tall, dark, handsome, way too serious, and currently working as a sidekick?”

“That would be stuff,” you admit. “It’s not a big deal. We’re just grabbing a drink after our shifts.”

For the first time since you and Kazuo broke up, you have a date, and it’s Kazuo’s fault. Or maybe it’s you and your friends’ fault, because you decided to throw Kazuo a twentieth birthday party and invited a few of his friends from UA. One of those friends is Sugimura Hiroki, who fits perfectly with your type of dark-haired boys who want to be heroes and who’s so painfully shy that it took him six beers and the entire party to talk to you. You were sort of weirded out by that. You’re not very intimidating, and you spent the first half of the conversation trying to figure out if he knew you were quirkless, since you learned the hard way that it’s something you need to disclose up front. But the two of you eventually worked your way around to the point, which was that Sugimura wants to get to know you better, and he tripped over his tongue so badly that you finally just asked him out to end the suspense.

It’s taken you a while to actually schedule the date, but tonight’s the night, and you’re sort of anxious about it. Luckily, work is busy enough to keep you distracted. Your lunch break ends while Mitsuko is still going into increasingly nasty speculations about Sugimura’s physical attributes, and you hang up the phone without saying goodbye.

There’s a message waiting for you on your computer, from the front desk. FOF. Can you take him?

It’s not Tenko. You know Tenko wouldn’t come here again. You send the same message you did when it was him. How F are we talking?

Jumpy, talking to himself, chainsmoking. He’s in costume.

“In costume” could literally mean that the patient’s wearing a costume, but it’s also code for when the front desk thinks the patient’s a villain. You’re used to dealing with villains by now. Send him back.

When the knock on the door comes, you’re ready and waiting, and the CNA ushers in a tall man in a black-and-grey bodysuit – so “in costume” was literal this time around – and a paper bag over his head. You’re momentarily transfixed by the paper bag, and more so when you realize that he’s bringing a lighted cigarette to his mouth while wearing something highly flammable on his face. The CNA shuts the door and bolts. You face your patient and introduce yourself. “Have a seat if you feel comfortable doing so. What brings you in today?”

“I’m not – whole.”

That’s concerning. “Are you injured?” Your concern grows when he gestures at his face. “It would really help if I could see the injury. Can you take the bag off?”

He shakes his head. Instead he reaches into his pocket and produces a torn full-face mask. You look at him, then at him, putting the pieces together. “How do you feel right now?”

He doesn’t answer – maybe can’t answer – so you default to the face chart you use when little kids aren’t able to express how they feel in words. Your patient points to scared, stressed, anxious, angry. Then he throws in happy, possibly to mess with you, or to distract you from the fact that the first four emotions indicate that he’s ready to snap at any second. “How about this?” you ask, after thinking it over. “I can ask the doctor to give you something that will help you calm down –”

“Please!” The patient bursts out. Drug-seeking? “No, I don’t need it, sister! I’m so calm it’s hard to believe.”

“Okay, then we’ll just have it here in case you decide you want it. As an option,” you say, keeping your voice smooth and calm. “Either way, this is a quiet place to wait. You’re safe in here with me. And if you want, I can sew up your mask for you. Would that help?”

“You can do that?”

“Easily,” you say. “Can I see it for a second? I need to make sure I grab the right thread.”

The patient hands the mask over, which is a good sign. You’ve established at least a little bit of trust. You examine the mask and decide that you’ll need the thinnest-gauge needle and thread you have. “I can definitely fix this,” you tell the patient. “It might look a little rough, but it’ll cover you up like it did before. And it should last until you get where you’re going.”

The patient nods. You stand up. “I’m going to get some supplies, and a little anxiety medication if you decide you want it. I’ll be right back, okay? Just wait here.”

The patient nods again. Given how labile his mood is, you need to be fast about this, and get back before he gets upset or decides to leave. You step out the door and shut it behind you, heading for the supply closet, but you’re waylaid on the way there by one of the doctors. “We need you up front. Now.”

“I can’t. I have a patient, and he’s –”

“I don’t care. We’ve got a hero coming to visit, and we need somebody to keep things calm,” the doctor says. Shit. “Figure out what they want, get them as little of it as you can get away with, and get them out of here.”

“Which hero?”

The doctor shakes his head. Great. “Just hurry.”

You can’t go just yet. “My patient’s got a lot of anxiety and he’s in costume. I need him to stay calm. Can you –”

“2mg diazepam. I’ll put it in the chart.” The doctor unlocks one of the medicine cabinets, extracts a prefilled dosage cup, and hands it to you. “Go.”

Diazepam is long-acting. Hopefully long-acting enough to keep your patient quiet while you get rid of the hero. You skitter back down the hall with the dosage cup and hand it over to the patient, along with a tiny bottle of water to wash it down. “I’ll be right back. Just finding the right thread.”

The patient downs the pill dry, which is both good and bad for you. You shut the door again and head for the lobby. You don’t make it there. A cloud of black mist boils up around you, swallowing you whole.

By the time your feet hit the familiar wooden floor of the bar, you’re already out of patience. “No. Send me back right now.”

“Shigaraki Tomura has need of you. You will assist him.”

“Not right now I won’t. You snatched me from work,” you say. You’re facing the wall and the All Might poster again, and you don’t want to turn around. If you see Tenko, it’ll make it harder to say no. “If I go missing, people will notice. Is he dying?”

“No,” Kurogiri says.

“Is he in imminent danger of dying?”

“No.”

“Then send me back,” you say. If Tenko’s asked Kurogiri to get you, it means he needs medical assistance – or follow-up. You’ve needed to follow up anyway. “I can come back later.”

“No, I need you right now!”

“How much later?” Kurogiri asks, ignoring Tenko’s protest.

You think it over. You can dispense with the hero situation quickly, stitch your patient’s mask, and sneak out of work early. They’ll have to give you the emergency time off. You’ve never asked before in three years of working there. “Ninety minutes.”

“That’s too long. Kurogiri, don’t let her leave!”

“Ninety minutes. I’ll be in the alley behind the clinic.” You ignore Tenko, too, in favor of focusing on Kurogiri. He’s the one who decides if you leave or not. “All right?”

The mist wells up around you again, which counts as a yes. You land on your feet in the hallway, reorient yourself, and head for the lobby again. Tenko wants you again – needs you, your stupid brain corrects – but he’s going to have to wait for you to sort this out.

The hero in the lobby is Uwabami, the Snake Hero, and she’s got two sidekicks with her. No, students. You recognize one of them from your limited viewing of the UA Sports Festival and feel a spike of guilt run through you. She’s from Class 1-A. The same class Tenko tried to kill.

You don’t need to think about that, and you don’t need to feel guilty, because you didn’t do anything to her. You force yourself to focus. Uwabami wouldn’t have brought high school students here if she was doing any kind of investigating, which means your patient and any others who might be nervous around law enforcement are probably safe. The question of why she’s here still remains. You step forward. “Welcome to Yokohama Free Clinic South. What can we help you with today?”

“We’re on patrol,” Uwabami says. “My interns gave some feedback that our patrol involved a little too much publicity –”

The students look unrepentant. Good for them. “So we’re engaging in some down-to-earth patrolling,” Uwabami continues. “Tell us about how heroes support your clinic.”

Heroes don’t support your clinic. Most heroes strongly dislike the free clinic network, and the feeling is mutual, for a bunch of reasons you’re more than willing to articulate. Then you think better of it. Picking a fight with a hero in front of hero students is a bad move if you want to get out of here any time soon, and if you’re going to keep helping Tenko, you need to stay completely off the heroic radar. You focus on the students instead. “You’re on internships, right? They’re supposed to show you what life will be like as a hero.”

“Yes,” the girl who’s not from 1-A says. “They’re supposed to.”

“We have a program like that here, too,” you say. You gesture for them to come forward, and they desert their supervising hero at high speed. “A lot of our nurses and techs started working here in high school. Let me introduce you.”

You’re on much more solid ground talking about this. This clinic and this program saved your ass – without their sponsorship, you’d never have been able to get around your quirklessness as a barrier to nursing school, and you started getting on-the-job clinical training while most other nursing students were stuck in the classroom. You catch yourself evangelizing a little bit, but you don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world to do. You’re proud of the work you do as part of the clinic. It’s nice to get to talk about it.

You clear the hero students out in half an hour, hoping you’ve impressed them even a little bit, then hurry back to your patient. The diazepam’s kicked in nicely, and he chatters away to you while you stitch the tear in his mask. You learn that his name is Jin, or Bubaigawara, or Twice, which you’d guess are his first name, his family name, and his villain name, in that order. He doesn’t say how his mask got torn and you don’t ask, but you send him on his way in a better mood than before. “Thanks, sister,” he says on his way out the door. “You could be worse. You’re a saint!”

Different tone, different pitch, completely different meaning between the first sentence and the second. It reminds you of Kurogiri. You know enough villains now that you can compare them to one another. You shake your head, bemused, then head back inside. Time to guilt-trip your boss into letting you leave two hours early.

Your guilt-trip is successful, mostly because of how you handled the hero situation, but as you’re trying to sneak out, Yoshimi arrives for her scan. After you cajoled her into the office, you can’t abandon her to some random tech. You do abandon Mitsuko in the waiting room, though – she says the words “nipple discharge” as loudly as possible, then starts picking on the scant amount of makeup you did for your date. You don’t feel bad at all for leaving her behind.

Yoshimi’s scan goes quickly, and just like you feared, it nets her a follow-up appointment at the main branch of the free clinic tomorrow. Tomorrow’s your day off. You promise her you’ll go with her – you, and not Mitsuko or Yoji – then talk the doctor into sending her home with a dose of a different anti-anxiety medication than the one you got for Twice. Then you check your phone for the time. Almost ninety minutes exactly. You race out to the alley.

The mist engulfs you almost the instant you set foot in the alley, and you’re in the bar a moment later, facing Kurogiri. Tenko’s nowhere to be found, and before you can ask the question, Kurogiri turns and sets off through a doorway, deeper into the recesses of the building. You follow him, wondering if this counts as being taken to a secondary location. Or maybe the bar counts as the secondary location, even though you’ve been here before. Either way, you’ve listened to way too many of Mitsuru’s true-crime podcasts.

Kurogiri leads you into an absolutely filthy room. The floor is covered – empty wrappers, empty cans, old newspapers and magazines, plastic cases for game disks and chips. You have a bad feeling about who lives here, and when Kurogiri clears his throat and speaks up, you’re proven right. “Shigaraki Tomura. I have brought the girl.”

The only semi-organized spot in the room is a desk with two monitors on it, a keyboard in front of it, and Tenko slumped down with his head pillowed on one arm. He looks up, and for a split second, you can see that he’s happy even behind the hand. Then his face turns bright red and his expression twists into a snarl. “I told you not to bring her in here! Get out!”

You don’t need to be told twice. You duck out the door and retreat about twenty feet down the hallway, listening as Kurogiri tries to placate Tenko. “You asked for her to be brought to you immediately, not for me to summon you when she arrived. I followed your orders to the letter.”

“I didn’t want –” Tenko breaks off, swears. Then he mumbles something, and Kurogiri chuckles. “Don’t laugh at me!”

You check your phone. You aren’t supposed to meet Sugimura until eight, but you’ve got no idea how long this particular encounter is going to run. You might need to tell him you’re running late. You’ve just sent the text and tucked your phone away when Kurogiri reappears. “We will return to the bar,” he says. “Shigaraki Tomura awaits you there.”

So Kurogiri warped him to the bar. You wonder what that was all about. Was Tenko embarrassed that you saw how filthy his room was, or just embarrassed that you saw his room at all? Or did he change his mind about wanting you here? The last thought upsets you. You follow Kurogiri back into the bar and find Tenko sitting at the counter. It’s an improvement from the last time you saw him, when he was sprawled out and bleeding from four gunshot wounds, but this time he’s got his arms crossed, clearly pissed about something. His face is still red behind the hand. There’s a bloodstained bandage taped to his right shoulder.

A pile of supplies appears on the bar as you come closer. “What happened this time?”

“It wouldn’t stop bleeding.” Tenko uncrosses his left arm to gesture at the wound. “This is the fourth one I’ve used.”

If he’s gone through four bandages, it must be pretty deep. “How long ago did it happen?”

“Two hours,” Kurogiri says. “Shigaraki Tomura sent me to retrieve you immediately.”

“Can you fix it or not?” Tenko snaps.

“I need to see it first,” you say. You come a few steps closer, sit down facing Tenko on the barstool next to his, and reach for the bandage. He doesn’t stop you from unwrapping it, and you detour to glove up before you start peeling the fabric of his shirt back from the wound. It’s oozing blood rapidly. It’s jagged at the edges, and deep – if you suctioned the blood away, you’d be looking at exposed muscle, and you’re so horrified by the fact that Tenko’s been badly hurt again that you ask a question you shouldn’t. “How did this happen?”

“Hero Killer,” Tenko says, and your stomach lurches. “I thought he might be useful, but he’s just like the rest of them. Obsessed with the precious Symbol of Peace.”

You don’t know very much about the Hero Killer, except that he kills or cripples heroes and he’s not in Yokohama any longer. Tenko’s still ranting. “Why can’t anybody shut up about All Might? Don’t they know –”

“That he’s not gonna fuck them?” you interrupt, and Tenko nearly chokes. “I guess they can dream.”

Tenko’s expression is contorting behind the hand. You’re pretty sure it’s not the result of your explorations of the wound, because you’re not touching it. You watch, concerned, as his shoulders shake and his mouth twitches, until awkward, rusty laughter finally issues from his mouth.

You always try to make people laugh. You’ve been in the habit since you were little. It’s an effective strategy for defusing tension, whether the joke is funny or not, and your jokes are usually at least kind of funny. But you always liked making Tenko laugh when you were kids. You were always just a little prouder of that than you were with other people. Tenko made people smile all the time. He deserved for somebody to make him laugh, too.

Tenko’s laughter is brief and uneven, because he’s trying to get it under control. “Stop it,” he finally snaps at you. His mouth is still twitching. “It’s serious.”

“Right,” you agree. But you can’t resist another joke. “It would be a novel strategy. If you can’t beat the Symbol of Peace, make him unfuckable instead.”

“I can beat him,” Tenko says, but his voice is strained to the point of snapping, and his shoulders are shaking again. “Can you fix my arm or not?”

“I can fix it,” you say, “but I’ll need a suture kit. And I’ll either need to cut your sleeve or you’ll need to take your shirt off.”

“I’m not taking my shirt off.” Tenko’s face is red again. “It’s ruined anyway. Just cut it.”

You cut his sleeve open from the neckline and peel it back, then go looking through the medical supplies. Kurogiri took your advice about additions to their supplies, and nothing turned up missing at work, which means they honored your request to steal from someone else. You’ve got local anesthetic this time, which is good, because you need it. You start numbing the edges of the wound, asking every so often if Tenko can feel what you’re doing. When he stops saying yes, you open the suture kit.

It’s a bit weird, but putting stitches in is one of your favorite parts of the job. You can get in the zone with it, even when the patient wants to talk. Tenko wants to talk. “People talk about the League of Villains out there. Don’t they?” he asks. You nod. “What do they say?”

“Um –” You’re not sure this is an answer Tenko wants to hear. “They’re wondering why the attack on UA happened.”

“What do you mean, why?”

“Like, if there was a message behind it,” you elaborate. You need to be careful, with the stitches and with this line of thought. “More than just killing All Might, because lots of villains want to do that. If there was a message, it didn’t get out. The police and UA haven’t shared much information – not even how the breach happened in the first place.”

Tenko scoffs. “They don’t have a clue. They won’t see it coming the next time we hit them, either.”

He’s planning something else. Your blood runs cold, and for a moment you’re torn about whether or not to ask. Tenko makes the decision for you. “What else do they say about the League?”

“Not very much, otherwise,” you say, and Tenko swears. “There are a lot of villains, just like there are a lot of heroes. People talk about the ones they see the most of.”

“Which heroes do you talk about?”

“I don’t really talk about heroes.” You tie off a stitch, trim the thread to the appropriate length, and take another. “One of my friends has this nasty crush on Endeavor, so we talk about him sometimes, but otherwise – no.”

“Your friend has a crush on Endeavor,” Tenko repeats.

“Like I said. Nasty.”

You’re conscious of Tenko staring at you, and you will your face not to heat up under his gaze. You don’t even know why he’s staring, and you’ve got stitches to do, so it doesn’t matter. Your phone buzzes in your pocket – probably Sugimura, probably confirming your date. A date you’re not sure you want to go on anymore. Did you ever really want to go on it? Or did you just say yes because –

“You look weird.”

You look up from the stitches, startled. “Huh?”

“You look weird,” Tenko repeats. “Your clothes are different and you’ve got stuff on your face.”

Tenko and Mitsuko feel the same about your makeup skills, apparently. “Sorry.”

“Why do you look like that?” Tenko presses. You tie off his next stitch. “Are you going on a date or something?”

You answer without thinking about whether it’s the smart thing to do. “Yes.”

It’s quiet for a long stretch of seconds. “Go on your date, then,” Tenko says. His voice is flat. “I don’t need you.”

It stings. You don’t want it to, but it does, and you look down at the cut on his shoulder so he won’t see it on your face. “You still need a few more stitches. At least let me finish them.”

“No. Get out.” Tenko jerks out of your grip. You barely have enough time to cut the hanging thread on your last stitch. “I don’t want you here. Kurogiri –”

“Shigaraki Tomura, I’m not sure that’s wise.”

“I didn’t ask you!” Tenko swats at you open-handed and you leap backwards. “Get out! I don’t –”

You don’t hear the end of that sentence. Kurogiri warps you away too fast, and possibly saves your life. He drops you back in the alley behind the clinic, holding half a suture kit and still wearing bloodstained gloves. You peel them off and dump them into the garbage, furious with yourself. You shouldn’t have said that. You shouldn’t have talked about your life at all, and above all else, you should have remembered that you were talking to a villain, not your best friend – that whatever’s left of your best friend isn’t enough. He’s angry with you, and he’s been having you followed. Just how angry is he? Angry enough to hurt you? Or angry enough to never talk to you again?

You’re sickened and more than a little scared to realize that you’re more frightened of the latter possibility than the former. It’s entirely possible that you’ve never been in less of a mood to go on a date.

But you do go on the date, because you said you would, and it’s – fine. There’s nothing to complain about, but there’s nothing to be excited about, either. You and Sugimura hug to say goodbye, and you promise to text each other about setting up another one, and then you walk home. Mitsuko texts you, wanting details, or DETAILS, but you’ve got nothing to share. It was just a date, and no matter how many times you try to tell yourself otherwise, you’re angry about it.

Not because of Sugimura asking you out, not because you agreed, not because you went. Because you told Tenko and gave him a reason to get rid of you. Why does this keep happening? Why do you keep finding him and losing him, over and over again? What is it going to take for you to hold on?

“So how was the date?”

The voice emanates from the alleyway on your right and you nearly jump out of your skin. Tenko’s there, hand down from over his face, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He hasn’t changed his shirt. “I didn’t think heroes were your type.”

“They aren’t.”

“Then why were you on a date with one?”

“He asked.”

“And you just go with whoever asks?” Tenko looks half-incredulous, half-disgusted. You shake your head. “Forget it. Come with me.”

You shake your head again and take a step back – away from the alley, closer to the street. Tenko looks frustrated. “Come with me,” he repeats.

“What, so you can kill me?” You take another step back, well into the glow of a streetlight. You see shock flicker across Tenko’s face. “I don’t have a death wish.”

“Well, I don’t want to kill you,” Tenko fires back. He looks surprised at himself for saying it, but only for a moment – then he repeats himself, with more conviction. “I don’t want to kill you. You’re supposed to be my sidekick.”

Your jaw drops. “You remember?”

“I don’t remember everything.” Tenko takes the hand called Father out of the back pocket of his pants and studies it for a moment. Then he puts it away. “I remember that.”

Some kids played a different game every day. You and Tenko always played the same one, with a rotating cast of classmates at your side. All the heroes in the world were working together to fight one big villain, the worst villain the world had ever seen, and Tenko could never decide which hero he liked best, so he played a different one every day. But no matter which hero he played, no matter who else was playing with the two of you, you were always his sidekick. You reminded him every day that you didn’t have a quirk, and he always said the same thing in response, no matter which hero he was pretending to be that day, even though he didn’t have a quirk, either: You don’t need a quirk to be on my side. My quirk’s enough for both of us.

“Come on,” Tenko says again. He holds out his hand, three fingers and his thumb folded down, his pinky finger extended towards you. “Are you coming or what?”

You’ve never seen the world in black and white, but some things are unmistakable: There’s a line here, not visible to others but clear as day to you. On one side of it is Tenko and the darkness that’s swallowed him, the evil that surrounds him, the terrible things he’s done and is planning to do. On the other side is everything else – your dreams, your friends, your family that’s always loved you but used you anyway, a world that’s punished you time and time again for being born without a quirk, the knowledge that the world is so much crueler to so many others. You don’t think Tenko’s planning to kidnap you, to never let you leave. You’ll come back here, physically. You’ll go home and go to sleep and wake up early on your day off to take Yoshimi to her appointment at the main clinic, but you know instinctively that if you cross this line within yourself, there’s no coming back. Tenko was your best friend when you were five years old. Is he worth it?

You hate yourself for asking the question. You leave the light behind and link your finger with Tenko’s. “Where are we going?”

The black mist rises and wells up around you both. “You’ll see,” Tenko says, and for the first time since you found him again, he smiles.

[pokemontheywouldhave]

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Currently accepting requests :3 Hello and welcome to the blog! Feel free to submit some team members for your favorite and not-so-favorite characters to the submission link above.

Currently the only restrictions on what may not be submitted onto the blog is no OCs or real life modern politicians (active in the last fifty years or have been alive this century) since I don't want to drag in that part of Tumblr. Other real life people are allowed unless I feel submissions are getting mean spirited. The ban list is subject to growing but I'd rather try to keep it small.

RULES OF SUBMISSIONS AND INTERACTING WITH THE BLOG 1) Please no more than one trainer/Pokémon in one request at a time. If you'd like to see a versus, please have a clear way to separate the options (using / or "or", no "and"s please). I will only allow trainer versus of the same/overlapping fandoms (No Naruto/Dragon Ball but Undertale/Deltarune is okay). 2) Use the form to submit for polls. If you use the ask box or ask in reblogs, your request will be ignored. 3) Anyone can have any Pokémon. This includes legendaries, mythicals, ultra beasts, paradox of past or future, and whatever other categories the series introduces that most trainers probably won't have. It's more fun that way. If there's art of the Pokémon, it can be submitted. Heck, I have the Magikarp Jump patterns. I also have stuff from Home to allow for forms that don't have official art including shinies. 4) If the character already has the Pokémon, whether because they're in Pokémon already or through official crossover, then the request will be deleted. This will only count for the exact form of the Pokémon so other forms including shinies are allowed. (Ash and Pikachu isn't allowed but Ash and shiny Pikachu is) 5) Please be specific if the Pokémon in question has multiple forms, especially if it doesn't have a "generic form" according to official art (see Vivillon or Alcremie). For example: midnight Lycanroc instead of just Lycanroc. 6) Be kind on this blog. Do not bully others for voting either way in a poll. Propagandizing is perfectly fine but the second you get mean to an individual is when you get the ban hammer (it's Tinkaton's so watch out). 7) There's no limit to how many times an individual can be requested. 8) Repeat requests will be deleted. Please search the blog to make sure you aren't asking for something already asked for. Spreadsheet coming soon with everything including queue stuff. 9) Trainers don't have to be human or even sentient. Be silly with it! 10) If you ask for a country having a certain Pokémon and the games have a region based on said country, please don't ask for any of the new Pokémon from that region (IE no asking if France has something introduced in Kalos). 11) Anyone can request “YOU (reader)” or “your OC”. Propaganda is unlikely to be added to these so it’s not needed. “You” polls will not have the shiny option separate from regular forms but OC polls will be allowed to have shinies.

Queue is filled up to July 25th (I do need to catch up on requests, expect a longer wait time)

[jadejetts]

feel like i should finally post the few bits of music related to astrothrill i've made in the few years past. its been long enough that i feel comfortable in doing so :]

most of the stuff i did in this time was with LMMS, which, a bunch of vsts are a buggy mess in!! genny vst is what i primarily used (with the SEGAudio soundfont later on), along with spooky keys as a theremin- the former randomly putting sustain on a note even when the entire song is turned off, forcing you to restart the program and keep trying to export until it decides to work fine, and the latter's wibbly-wobbliness is just. gone in newer versions. songs with spooky keys made in older versions will keep their wibbly-wobbliness, but placing any new notes is a no go!! in learning all this, I don't recommend LMMS to anyone unless it's a last resort- unless things have changed since i last used it!!

this here is my oldest piece of my astrothrill stuff, circa 2021. i had an imagery of a scorched hill with a once-abandoned base sitting atop it,, with it's new resident of Sairen-X9. WAY too depressing in hindsight for the main style I wanted to go for.

i eventually re-arranged the melody into something a lot faster and action-oriented. the first half of this was done in a few weeks after, but the second half was done a couple years down the line into 2023 after being stuck for ages. a fair bit better to what i thought i wanted!! nowadays i still feel it's not "bright" enough, this still feels like something you'd hear in the later half of whatever AstroThrill's gonna end up being, rather than something that sets the overarching tone of fun cartoony sci-fi yknow?? this only says final because i'm done iterating on this particular version rather than me feeling like it's ready- ill get it there eventually :]

onto another song now! this one's just a snippet, didn't get too far- but i feel like what Is there is quite close to what i want!! i've always enjoyed marches with that rolling drum sound (looking at astro blaster's queue music) and i did want to try and pull something like that off eventually!! the inspiration that gave me the spark for this was one of the final bits of music in fortnite's collision event- specifically when you're shooting down a bunch of spikes right above the zero point (shoutouts to Phill Boucher [pronounced boo-shay] who's music is too good for that game)

and then i experimented with it again, probably going "what if i cut it down or something. jazz jig rhythm for no reason" and it just kinda. formed into This. i am SO shocked and happy with how this little jingle turned out- i wanted it to feel older than the rest of the stuff i had, like late-70s to mid 80s, and sustaining the notes gave it that little extra flair that feels Perfect. instrument-wise can still be improved by going for actual old synths and not SEGAudio but it's what i got and used ghsCXLKH

this last snippet here goes back to sairen's theme- i just had another jolt of inspiration of the beginning melody in this song during a particularly tense game of capture the flag(? maybe it was infection) in halo infinite ghscvklhcklv after making this it made it very clear that what comes really easy to me music-wise is dramatic stuff darker in tone than the music AstroThrill needs, but this is still probably my second favorite piece i've done right behind the gamma co. jingle from an "instrumentation completeness" standpoint

i haven't fiddled around with music for a while and i definitely gotta get back to it!! these here are some of my favorite pieces of art i've ever done, mostly because music is so utterly special to me. not that other forms of art aren't!! but music is like. insane. shoutouts to micheal giacchino, mike morasky, tee lopes, a TON of people who've worked with nintendo (jun ishikawa, hirokazu ando, megumi ohara, yuuta ogasawara, ryo nagamatsu, shiho fujii, and naoto kubo to name a few), tony grayson and john "joy" tay for being some of my absolute favorite musicians and gigantic inspirations to me not just music-wise but art-wise as a whole

[paula-of-christ]

Why do you veil? I've been thinking about and reconsidering my own practice of veiling (I veil during mass and adoration. My rule of thumb is that if Jesus isn't in the tabernacle, I'm veiling in that room) and I wanna hear some perspectives from women who veil more on a daily basis.

I answered my reasoning for doing so privately with you, since I wasn't at my computer and didn't feel i could type out an adequate response on my phone. But I didn't answer the question fully to my satisfaction, and as this ask will be thrown into the queue, it will be some weeks before it is actually posted.

I would first like to start off by linking to a post I made a couple of years ago regarding the discernment of headcovering. There's nothing wrong with searching for answers from others, but I don't want you to feel a decision paralysis regarding it. If you feel a pull towards doing so, you can get some cheap scarves from thrifting or bandanas and try it out, and if you don't like it, no harm done!

Now that I am older, have done more historical research into it, and have grown theologically in my own life, the reasons why I cover my head on a (roughly) daily basis can be boiled down to a few points. Not necessarily in the order of importance.

1) women - particularly if they are married - have been covering their heads across every culture and ethnicity for several millennia. It is only in very recent history (regardless of if you believe in young earth or not) that women have stopped covering their heads, and then it's only in western countries that they have done so.

2) it is healthier for the hair to keep it in protective styles (such as braids) and covered from the elements. Since I started covering my hair, the health of my hair has skyrocketed, and I need trims much less frequently, as I do not have split ends or dryness in my hair.

3) this is kind of a two-for-one, as it makes it more special that my husband is just about the only man who gets to see my hair, and it provides a very clear line around other men that I am not to be flirted with/engaged inappropriately with. It's like wearing a subconscious neon sign saying that I am religious and not interested in messing around.

4) it makes it easier to be modest in my dress. I am not going to cover my head but then wear skimpy clothing, because that would feel weird. This is relatively not an issue, as my wardrobe in general isn't going to be tight or showing a lot of skin, but there are a few articles of clothing that I only wear for date night or that need to be paired with something more loose fitting in order to look correct with a head covering.

It's come around a lot for me, and there are definitely days when I don't do so, be it convenience or comfort, but I do have some sort of covering on 90% of the time I'm leaving the house, and it mostly boils down to modesty, rather than religious reasons in particular.

[emilykaldwen]

*pinches the bridge of my nose*

Okay kids, sit down. I think things in the fandom space needs a little clarification.

Fan Artists and Fan Fiction writers are frustrated and upset about how the reblog rate has plummeted over the years as the rest of the internet moved to a 'hit the heart to help the algorithm'. Tumblr doesn't work that way. Likes don't do anything for a post, it just locks it in your personal scrapbook.

You Do Not Have to Reblog things YOU do not want to

When people say 'reblog the post' they mean reblog instead of ONLY hitting the like button. Tumblr relies on reblogs to put things on your dash. If you're liking something, then it hits your interests, and you should be reblogging it.

HOWEVER YOU ARE NEVER OBLIGATED TO REBLOG ALL THE THINGS.

Most people, including myself, will reblog from friends because we're friends! I support your foray into a fandom space I have no understanding of, but odds are if you are into it, then some of my other mutuals may be into it so I'll reblog. But I'm not out here reblogging every post I see from people I don't know in fandom spaces I'm not familiar with. It's my blog. I curate what I'd like. Some people have a dozen sideblogs for every fandom niche interest. Some of us just have the one blog and you strap in for whatever fandom chaos we go on. If you tag me in something, I occasionally miss it because I get the notification on my phone but don't have the free moment to do it and forget. Or maybe I add it into my queue.

When you are creating something you need to be mindful of your audience.

I'm in my mid 30s. I do not play in the Disney space (I know Disney Descendents is popular? That came out waaaaay after my time I don't know what it is), I don't know what that girl with the ghost band thing is that was going around a few years ago. I have fellow adult friends who do not engage with fan creation that involves minors. Additionally, I've seen people create OCs for shows like Criminal Minds. Hey! more power to you, I've never watched the show, and I know there's fic out there (I had someone tell me about a what I think was a Harry Potter/Criminal Minds crossover??? wow), but it's not going to get the same kind of traction as say, a Teen Wolf fan work.

I'm not saying don't create for your niche interests! CREATE! BE FREE AND MERRY! but understand that those creations just won't get the same kind of traction because it's a niche interest.

We create for ourselves, we share to find other people who enjoy our hobbies.

Which brings me to my second point:

NO ONE IS KNOCKING ON YOUR BEDROOM DOOR TO MAKE FRIENDS

Making friends is hard! I totally get it. But a sure fire way to turn people off way fast is to start a conversation with me but make it abundantly clear you care about nothing that I say/offer and are just waiting for your turn to talk so you can tell me about YOUR things and expect ME to ask questions. Conversation is a two way street. It's a back and forth. It is not me sitting there like a parent patiently listening to my child tell me about the cool toy adventure they're doing. I'm not your parent. I'm not your captive audience. I'm another person, and if you want friends - MEANINGFUL friends - then you need to make an effort to engage with people.

And it's hard. It's hard because so many people out there are very navel-gazey, and people get so caught up in the excitement of their own creations that they forget to ask other people about theirs. And... you're gonna have to be okay with that. You're gonna have to be okay with it feeling like pulling teeth, and know that hey! you're never gonna be buddy buddies with everyone. You just keep being you, you just keep showing the kind of person you are, and eventually it'll happen.

It's taken me over a decade to form meaningful mature friendships online. I've had friends over the years, ofc, but it's only now, when I can approach something with clear expectations and not thinking everyone is off having fun without me in some little clique, that I've been able to connect with people more honestly. And taking a five year break from tumblr helped a lot with that. I bought a house, I got a new job, I did other meaningful things with my life that wasn't on the internet.

The internet isn't actually a popularity place. You do not have to be popular to exist. I have been on tumblr since the inception pretty much. I have 200 followers and I only interact with 10 of them, maybe 15. And I'll tell you that outta those 200, 90% of them are blogs that haven't updated in years. A follower count does not promise reblogs, does not promise friends. It's literally impossible to be best buddies with 2000 people, to have a meaningful connection with every. single. one.

anyway I'm tired. I'm too old for this shit. Go touch some grass, go get off tumblr and play a new video game, join a book club, read more books, do things that aren't perpetually refreshing your dash and thinking everyone is off having fun without you because I promise you it's not fucking true. You need to have a life offline. You need a hobby that doesn't involve the computer. Seriously. Go touch grass.