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kpopfanfictrash · 5 years ago

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Hi Shanna! I really liked how detailed and technical ur dance ranking of twice was--as someone who has no formal dance experience, it was enlightening. Would u mind doing one for bts? Only if u want to of course :)

Hello! I have a few of these in my inbox, so yes! I will do this one for bts (but then I must stop before this becomes my blog LOL). I’ll give the same caveats I gave for Twice, though. 1) Dance is always somewhat subjective because it’s an art form. I can talk about technique, but at a certain point my favorite dancer might not be someone else’s favorite dancer because of performance quality, and 2) ALL OF BTS ARE GREAT DANCERS! You don’t become a professional performance artist without already being head and shoulders above the rest. At the end of the day, all are fantastic.

NOTE: Please don’t use my words on any other platform/to respond to the boys. I’m posting only to give some insight to their skills, not to try and critique BTS. They have dance coaches, trainers and choreographers for that. They absolutely do not need some random person on the internet telling them what they should be doing.

With that in mind, here are my personal thoughts/loose ranking of bts at dancers:

1. Jimin. Not that I’m biased. LOL but seriously, part of the reason I’m drawn to Jimin is because he’s such a fantastic performer. With dance, a lot of people think it’s just body type which can make or break a dancer. To some extent, this is true. If you aren’t born with amazing arches, turnout or flexibility, there’s only so much you can do to improve. That said, there’s a certain intrinsic performance quality which also can’t be taught. You either have it, or you don’t and Jimin has it. It’s mesmerizing to watch him on stage. He has such fantastic control when he dances; his execution of choreography is flawless, but he also puts his own spin on things without standing out too much (a bad thing, when you’re dancing as part of a group!) Jimin does have a background in contemporary/ballet, which is different from Hobi. One of the places this is visible is in how grounded Jimin is with his transitions/how he finishes his movements. This is SUPER dorky of me lmao, but one of my favorite moves I’ve ever seen him do is this roll up from the ground at 2:05. The absolute CONTROL Jimin has; his heels don’t move an inch, which is so hard to do. Another impressive move to me was the jump Jimin did in the Dynamite dance break (1:09). Neil Haskell did this freaking move all the time on SYTYCD lmao, and it was a staple “trick” on the dance circuit for years, because it’s hard and requires a gymnast/martial arts background. LOTS of control and complicated timing. I could honestly go on for pages about Jimin’s performance quality, but I’ll stop and say one other thing. I occasionally see people praising Jimin as an amazing contemporary dancer (on par with professional contemporary dancers), and I do think it’s important to clarify Jimin diverged from that path nearly ten years ago to become an Idol dancer. Those are two very different styles of dance and although Jimin is FANTASTIC, it’s okay for him not to be the best at every single dance style! lol he’s the first one to say (because he has, while watching the black swan orchestral video) he couldn’t do some of the things professional contemporary dancers can do. (I will add though, yoongi is also right in that I have full faith Jimin COULD have done those things, had he chosen to pursue that path). ANYWAYS. I’ve rambled enough about how much I love Jimin. ONWARD!

2. Hoseok. Surprise, surprise! LOL okay, so let me start by saying out of all BTS, Hoseok is what I consider the smartest dancer. What I mean by that is, the man never burns out. He knows when to conserve his energy and when to go all out. Hoseok is the master of rise and fall in intensity, and there’s a reason he’s highly regarded by all dancers in the industry. Hoseok also seems to have a choreographer’s mind, whereas you don’t see this as much with Jimin. To clarify, being a dancer and being a choreographer are two separate things. It’s like being a soccer player versus being a coach. Being a choreographer requires a big-picture mentality not all dancers have. Hoseok has this though, and you can see this in the natural leadership role he takes whenever they’re rehearsing on their own. He sees mistakes, fixes transitions, etc. (it’s hot, but I digress). Hoseok has a background in various styles of hip-hop, which is really clear when he freestyles. He’s demonstrated popping, tutting, locking and more, which you really only learn through rigorous hip-hop training. His MMA 2019 solo is WILD because he showcases like, five different styles all within a minute. They’re all sub-genres of a genre (hip-hop), if that makes sense. He doesn’t have the same contemporary background as Jimin, which is somewhat apparent whenever BTS leans into more contemporary styles (spring day, black swan, etc). Hobi is good, don’t get me wrong, but his spot isn’t as natural, he’s not as flexible and sometimes you see him overthinking movements. But anyways, Hoseok fancams are the BEST. Go watch one today.

3. Jungkook. Jungkook has improved SO. MUCH. Y’ALL. I can’t stress this enough! A lot of BTS fans probably remember Big Hit sent Jungkook to LA for a few months prior to debut to get him to loosen up in his dancing/improve his performance quality, and boy did he ever. Overall, I think Jungkook’s biggest strengths are his 1) endless stamina (wtf lol) and 2) lately, performance quality. When I’m talking about stamina, I mean Jungkook always goes full-fucking-out in performances and it catches the audience’s eye. One example which comes to mind was during MMA 2019 Dionysus. If you start at like, 2:10, BTS does this really exhausting floor part and then you see everyone around him conserving their energy as they move into the next chorus. It’s supposed to be a breather in the choreo lmao but Jungkook is FULL OUT. It’s his intensity and strength which really makes him stand out as a dancer. If I had written this a year ago, I would’ve said Jungkook’s biggest weakness is contemporary dance. The flip side of the coin to being strong is it can be difficult to slow things down and display the same intensity with slower music. Then, he went and did Black Swan. Like... just watch this spring day performance and contrast it with this black swan one for jungkook. He has gotten SO MUCH BETTER at staying grounded, moving through his transitions, instead of rushing past them to get to the next step. I’m just really proud of him. I still think hobi + jimin have a leg up on him, but Jungkook is a close third.

4. Taehyung. When you get to Taehyung + Yoongi, things start to get blurry. But since this is a list of my personal preferences, I’m going to put Taehyung first because for me, performance is everything. In my opinion, Taehyung’s performance quality is second only to Jimin. More immature dancers will often refer to performance as “making faces.” I.e., purse your lips on count five, smile on count 8 and frown on count 1. A mature dancer though, knows dancing is really an extension of acting. You need to embody the emotions of the song and convey them to your audience, and not just through your facial expressions! I think Tae does a really great job of this, and I’ll often watch his fancams, even though his dance technique isn’t as strong as say, Jimin or Hobi. That’s Taehyung’s main weakness, in my opinion. If he’d started dancing at an earlier age, or taken ballet/contemporary.... lord, idk LOL. help us all.

5. Yoongi. THIS MAN! Used to be a b-boy and the background is crystal clear if you’ve ever watched a Yoongi fancam (and if you haven’t, what are you doing with your life?) There’s an effortless quality to his movement and, when he wants to, his strength + performance quality rival Jungkook or Taehyung. That said, I think the main reason I’m not ranking Yoongi above them is consistency. Yoongi, simply put, isn’t a dancer. He’s a rapper/producer who likes to dance and enjoys dancing as part of BTS. I’m not saying he doesn’t like it, but it’s not his main passion, unlike some of the others. His intensity can vary depending on his visibility, which again, isn’t a bad thing. When Yoongi does turn it on, he turns it ON. He’s also very comfortable onstage, which is important. Yoongi doesn’t hesitate in his improv (esp. in his solos or rap line performances), which gives his stage quality a more natural ease.

6/7. Namjoon + Seokjin. I honestly don’t know who I would put as seventh; it’s hard to pick. And again, I don’t consider either of them to be bad dancers. It’s just when you have a group of people and some have prior dance experience/a strong passion for dance, and some don’t... it is what it is! I will say I think both Seokjin and Namjoon have grown tremendously over the past years. They’ve become so much more comfortable onstage, and it really shows in their performance quality. Sometimes, being confident you won’t look stupid is half the battle LOL. The other thing I’ll say is their execution of choreography is always down pat. You’ll rarely see either one messing up the steps, which means they practice a LOT. Sure, there are areas where their technique could be improved. Quality of transitions, staying grounded through difficult moves, always using their spot on turns... but I think it’s amazing that, despite their lack of formal dance training, they both keep up with some of the above dancers. Like... fuck it up, guys.

and that’s all! thank you for reading if you made it this far LOL WOO, BTS!

#not @ my long-winded ass waxing poetic about jimin lmao #asks #bts

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steve0discusses · 5 years ago

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S4 Ep 39: Pharaoh Can Fly (Selectively)

Guys, they’re back

Best storyboarder is back, and the visual difference between last episode and this episode is like when your art teacher picks up your charcoal and just fixes everything wrong with your gesture drawings. It’s like...I mean look at this:

I just really love and appreciate how illustrative this storyboarder is. And I say just storyboarder because this had about the same budget as the last episode--there wasn’t that much actual animation as per usual. But, all of the scenes were drawn so well, like panels out of a good manga. They just...they always nail it when they’re at the helm and I don’t know why they’re on Yugioh, but bless this storyboarder.

Plot wise, everyone got pulled into the dragon by gooey tentacles that came out of it’s stomach, don’t think about it.

Meanwhile, all of the minibosses could communicate with them and beg for help, yes, even the same miniboss who may have dressed up like Pegasus and catfished Seto Kaiba.

(keep reading under the cut)

The whole process of getting absorbed into the Orichalcos demon was a whole lot of symbolism and it was...kinda gross. Also kinda sketch. Also, for Kaiba it is a neat little nod to S1 when he had a vision that his brother was absorbed into a dragon mass.

I don’t think that the makers of the show remember S1, but either they just really like goopy dragons, or it’s a coincidence or I dunno, on purpose? Probably a coincidence.

And like I made this joke and realized...what if they actually meant to make that parallel though? This is the America crossover season, and they have referenced America’s love of trickster rabbits before with Pegasus but do they know about Br’er rabbit in Japan? Do they know? It’s a pretty Americana Deep-cut, and I have no idea how common this folktale is outside of the states.

I see anime busting out absorbing goopy masses all the time so I’m gonna assume that there might be a Japanese folklore I don’t know about which uses a similar structure (although I’m also assuming it has an extremely different history and association ((which I won’t be going into because I don’t feel like putting a trigger warning on this recap)).)

And looking at Wikipedia, there’s people that think the original reference to moist, absorbing creatures could have even come from as far as India. Which is...fascinating to how it also developed in Africa, and then the Cherokee also made the same story independently and then it fused together here in the States to make it what was eventually made into a Disney movie that will never be released again--this is just a really old ass story, all in all, possibly like over a thousand years old.

And a FASCINATING google deep dive I won’t go into for obvious reasons but knock yourself out.

Also, lets get distracted for a sec and see how well this storyboarder drew a fitted jacket at that angle. Dear Lord, did they get reference for that or did their brain just already know that those folds would be there? You can even tell that Pharaoh has just a little bit of padding at his shoulders. Ugh. Guys this storyboarder is so freakin good at these little fitted jackets.

So, once Yugi and his friends are absorbed into the mass, where they should have died...and maybe some of them did, but I don’t know if I should add that to the Death Count because like...they could have held their breath in the amount of time they were stuck in there...maybe...Anyway, they are saved by being tossed into the figurative briar patch--by the souls all hanging out in the Leviathan’s stomach--which again makes me wonder...did they pull a folklore on us? Again, I have no idea.

Like a lot of the people in this dragon have been thorns in their side this entire season, they’ve all tried to kill them at one point--all the minibosses, Mai, Pegasus--but now they have decided to team up with Pharaoh (along with the rest of the human race) and offer whatever they can to free them from the grip of the gross dragon mass.

And like, the ending of the folk tale is that the thorny ass briar patch is also where the rabbit lives usually. It hurts everyone else, but the rabbit--the rabbit can deal with it. And likewise, Pharaoh is freakin dead. He’s at home here. He’s surrounded by spirit power, his friends and their friendship power, this is like his zone, and now he’s crazy powerful for it and will be for the rest of the episode.

And like Yami is a very trickster God (especially Season Zero Yami) so like...it does make sense that he would mirror a folk tale based on trickster Gods, even if it is by complete accident.

So Pharaoh imagines everyone’s tears as individual drops in a glass or something--it’s not a literal glass or anything--it’s just there because the only thing actually happening on screen was his hand hanging out of this dragon’s weird puss skin.

And he’s now a fully charged Sonic the Hedgehog and no longer needs Kaiba or Joey at all. Just gonna grab his God card demons and take charge of everything else from here on out.

By first exploding his buddies right the hell out of this lizard and across hundreds of feet of open ocean.

Joey decides to remind Kaiba that he lost the Battle City tournament.

Seto’s roast was actually in the show, PS. He is not super excited to be reminded that Yugi owns every card that he spent 2 seasons failing to get.

And then Pharaoh did something really, really...

...just really really wild.

OH OK.

YEAH JUST TAKE OFF.

GO AHEAD THERE’S NO REASON THIS WOULD BOTHER ME.

I mean he IS super powered right now but like...

Like...WTF?

4 SEASONS. 4 SEASONS I thought this guy was glued to Yugi like Peter Pan’s Shadow and apparently--he can bounce.

Can Pharaoh do this every time Yugi asks Tea out on a date and tries to instead make the ghost in his head do all the work now? Can Pharaoh just be like “NOPE” and then phase out of the house, leaving Yugi to actually do the hard stuff?

It really adds a level of complexity to their relationship if Yugi can get a room.

(If not a room for romance, but at the very least a room to poop in.)

OR has he been able to allow Yugi to wicked poop in peace this whole time, but the show just never felt like telling us because they felt like it wasn’t important (although it is crazy important)?

Either way I am just...floored at this character development.

Yami just let Yugi out of his sight for like...I want to say 8 full minutes. Just incredible amount of trust on Yami’s part. Incredible. Knowing Yugi’s track record, he should have died in those 8 minutes but...he was being babysat by both Kaiba and Joey.

So Yami summons the Gods and they shoot lasers--you kinda expect this sort of thing.

And this is...probably...the real reason why Dartz didn’t bother trying to attack Pharaoh 5,000 years ago.

I can still think it’s because of Bakura but like...this is probably the real reason. It felt pretty chump to just shoot a laser at the bastard. Pharaoh just had to be reminded that this is a thing he can just do. If he felt like it.

Which he never feels like doing, because he’s too busy watching Yugi’s every move, and getting distracted by High School shenanigans.

After this happens, the giant snake falls to the ocean, splitting into just sooooooo many ghosts.

Over 7.8 billion ghosts, if we’re to assume that this is most of the population on Earth.

(thinking the weird-o in the hat is probably a Duel Monsters card? The duel monsters were throwing themselves into the Leviathan at one point so this is probably like a dark magician boy or something...I just don’t get very attached to the monster cards so it was like...whatever. The cards die like constantly so who cares?)

It is a pretty set dressing. Like Christmas lights but...dead people.

We also find out that the lost family of our minibosses Alister and Raphael, have indeed spent the last many years inside the Leviathan stomach, which is pretty tragic. We get a bitter sweet conclusion to Alister and Raphael’s story--although it’s not a full on ending for either character. Their life still hella sucks, they are in therapy for basically forever.

Where is Gurimo?

I don’t know what sort of job or life these two are qualified to have now, but youknow...Marik’s boat probably has jobs available.

Hold up. Can we talk about the windows?

I know absolutely none of you care about this, but I do, not to be picky or condescending to an overworked art team, but because I just want to know what they were trying to aim for.

There’s an iron stained glass style windowpane thing going on and that’s what’s really getting me. Like...I know these guys were technologically advanced, but why did you use this WW2 background? What happened to Ancient Greece that you were doing before?

Like doing a super past with future tech is so cool to me--I love that sort of concept art. That’s going into like Black Panther stuff where you’re referencing the earliest stuff in Africa and then blending it with stuff beyond our science. But Atlantis is a real big shrug and a “listen we ran out of time and had to press print,” and it’s such a shame. It feels less cohesive than even when this show does Egypt.

And yo this show and how it draws ancient Egypt--I feel like I’ve already talked about that. I have a feeling I’m going to talk a lot more about it next season. I’ll get to it when we get to it. I’m hoping that they have more time and budget to actually DO Egypt for once. (I say knowing they won’t)

Like it’s one of those things where this isn’t a history show, like at all, and it’s very much a fantasy. I’m not going to be like those sewing people on youtube that get annoyed because their TV show doesn’t have handsewn stitching in their Victorian bodices they rented from the costume department from an LA discount warehouse. Because, yo, it’s TV, and I can stretch my own imagination because it’s acting. (although I confess, I watch every single one of those videos).

But...the potential, y’all...the potential.

Anyway, Dartz isn’t dead. He was just taking his toot sweet time getting down the steps of his Gazebo.

This is where things get very anime. I get this problem a lot with anime, I really do--and maybe it’s just me. But like...sometimes it feels like anime changes the rules during the boss fight.

That happens a lot, right? Where suddenly the final boss reveals something that like...should have been addressed way earlier? And he’s alive but you don’t get why?

Anyway, Pharaoh reacts by getting maybe way too attached to his newfound independence.

Which like...I can understand Tea forgetting that Yugi is one people that is two people all the time, but the writers as well?

And what’s kind of great about this scene is that Dartz does see Yugi as two people here. He doesn’t look at Yugi, he looks at both. When Pharaoh is like “Leave me, Yugi!” Dartz heard all of that.

Just kind of a neat thing that we finally have a dude that can just...see Pharaoh for what he is, but it probably won’t matter because there’s like only one more episode left of this season.

Anyway, Pharaoh and Dartz have a chat about where evil comes from...and like...it’s some Yugioh lore, all right.

So before the show decides to give us the Genesis on Yugioh and reveal where the evil of the Orichalcos comes from, or if all evil was created by Orichalcos itself (which is IMPLYING stuff about Orichalcos) the snake shuts him the hell up.

As it should. Leave that Pandora’s box freakin closed. That’s going into extended universe of Star Wars books territory (RIP.)

As an aside--pretty sure that Yugi is standing outside that tornado. Maybe it was just the editing of the episode but like...

Yo I’m pretty sure Yugi is just standing there. For the first time, it’s not his nuts getting roasted. Wow. Tables have turned so much since he was dead.

Anyway, here’s the link for new people so you can read these in order

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

There’s only one left! We can do it! We can finish this season in 2020! And actually get back to recapping Full Metal Alchemist! ~~Woooo~~

Oh man that movie better still be on Netflix or I’ll have to buy it lolol.

#Yugioh #ygo #Yu-Gi-Oh #Yami Yugi #Yugi Muto #Seto Kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Dartz #Alister #Raphael #Valon #Mai Valentine #My favorite storyboarder #who deserves to be listed as a character in the show #ep 39 #S4 #recap #photo recap #episode recap

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thatbookgirl1118 · 5 years ago

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Aight y'all.

I keep seeing these Snape hate posts, and it's driving me nuts. I think a lot of people are just jumping on the bandwagon because of the disgusting things JK's been saying lately, and while I agree that she's being terrible, it doesn't have anything to do with Snape and I don't think that warrants condensing this man's entire complex, conflicting background into "guy got friend-zoned and didn't leave her alone."

So here's why Snape is not the horrible character y'all been making him out to be lately:

Number one. Lily. One of the favorite reasons for why Snape is terrible is that he's a 'creepy stalker' and wouldn't leave Lily alone.

Let's take a look at the facts.

Lily and Snape met when they were, like, eight. They were the only people who understood each other, and Snape was the one person Lily could go to when Petunia was being a royal biatch. They were BEST FRIENDS.

Then they go to Hogwarts, and they're sorted into different houses. Not just different, OPPOSITE. SLYTHERIN AND GRYFFINDOR. And you know what happened? NOTHING. LITERALLY. NOTHING. THEY STAYED FRIENDS. Yes, it was a bit of a strain, especially once Lily and James became friends, but in reality the cause of their falling out had nothing to do with her being a Gryffindor. And before she became friends with James, let's remember: she HATED him. VEHEMENTLY. And Snape agreed, especially considering he was FREAKING BULLIED BY HIM. James was a good person at heart, and he did a lot of good things, but let's please not forget that he made mistakes, too. It doesn't discount the good things about him, it makes him human, and let's please remember that THAT'S KINDA THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SERIES. So how things stand: Snape and Lily are inter-house friends, James is an ass. (Also, part of the reason Snape hated James initially was that he liked Lily, and so did Snape. The difference, of course, was that James was a complete ass to everyone INCLUDING Lily, and Snape was her best friend.) Then Snape starts falling in with the wrong crowd. And his friendship with Lily becomes a liability, because she's both a Gryffindor and, far more importantly, Muggleborn.

Now. I'm NOT saying that everything Snape did was okay. A lot of it was disgusting and despicable and generally horrible. But again. He's HUMAN. He's kinda the biggest grey area on earth, and that makes him HUMAN.

So, one day, when James is, as usual, being a complete ass, Lily stands up for Snape. And he's feeling scared, and embarrassed, and weak, and all the other things VICTIMS OF BULLYING tend to feel, and the girl he likes just stood up for him. Which had to hurt, because Snape wants her to see him as a protector, because he likes her, but she just saved HIM. Add this to all the conflicting emotions he must be having about the future Death Eaters he's hanging out with, and his desire to both have and protect Lily, and he's basically a ticking time bomb. And he explodes. And calls Lily a mudblood.

Major wtf is wrong w u moment.

But that's the point. He SCREWS UP. Because he's HUMAN.

At this point, Snape knows he's gone too far. He probably could've salvaged the relationship, and he probably knew that somewhere in his heart, but he was probably mostly feeling horrified and sick to his stomach and had also, lets remember, kinda convinced himself that Lily liked James and she could never be his. He didn't feel worthy of her. So he decides to distance himself from her, because he knows he's getting mixed up with the wrong people, but it's what everyone expects from him. But she doesn't belong there, and he wants to protect her (also one of the main reasons he probably got involved with these people in the first place, to try and protect her), so he tells her to stay away from him.

Now, if I remember correctly (I could be completely wrong because it's been a bit since I read the last book, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), Lily didn't actually stop. I'm pretty sure she tried to talk to him several more times after the incident. That's not the behavior a victim of stalking and abuse would exhibit, don't ya think? But even if this didn't happen, I think we've made a firm case for them being CLOSE FRIENDS. Honestly I wouldn't blame her for immediately abandoning his dumb butt after what he said to her.

So fast forward a bit. Lily marries James, and Snape joins Lord Voldemort. Then he hears the prophecy Trelawney gives, and not knowing who it pertains to, tells Voldemort. Voldemort then becomes convinced that it means Harry.

Now, Snape has not only just discovered that the love of his life is about to be killed, but that it was HIS FAULT. He told Voldemort about the prophecy. So he goes to Dumbledore and literally BEGS him to hide Lily. In return he turns traitor to the Death Eaters and risks his life over and over, all for the arbitrary promise he's been made that Lily and her family will be protected. AND HER FAMILY. HE DIDN'T PULL THE THING WHERE HE ONLY SAVES HER AND LETS THE REST OF THEM DIE HE SAVES ALL OF THEM BECAUSE HE KNOWS LILY DOESN'T LOVE HIM BUT HE. STILL. LOVES. HER. AND HE WANTS HER TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE EVEN IF IT ISN'T WITH HIM. Y'ALL THAT'S THE EXACT DEFINITION OF TRUE LOVE YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

And then, after all that, Lily DIES. As does James, and while he may have been Snape's rival, I think we've established that Snape is human, and that had to hurt if only because he was the man Lily loved and the father of her child.

And after all this, after risking his life for a promise that wasn't even kept, do you know what he did?

He stayed and helped Dumbledore. He was one of the main reasons Harry was able to defeat Voldemort. Yes, in the beginning, it was probably just a convenient way to avoid Azkaban. But he did what Dumbledore instructed EVEN AFTER THE MAN WAS DEAD. He could've easily killed Dumbledore and then joined Voldemort for real, but he helped Harry instead, because he was still atoning for what happened to Lily.

And speaking of Harry, let's talk about that relationship. From even a conceptual standpoint, before they ever met, think about what this boy represents to Snape. He's Lily's son, yes, but because of that he's a constant reminder of her and everything that happened with her. He's also James' son, Snape's bully and the man who got Lily. And to top it all off, he's the REASON SHE'S DEAD. If it weren't for him and the prophecy, she'd still be alive. Now, these are not things that are okay to think about an innocent child. I'm not saying he was justified in treating Harry like shit. In fact, I loathed Snape with my entire soul for the first 6 books. I'm saying LOOK AT THE FACTS. Snape is not a normal person. He's a Death Eater, who's done and seen terrible things, and only switched to the right side because of Lily. So he's not going to think to himself, "this isn't this innocent child's fault." Hell, even if he did, he's not going to take it into account when he interacts with the kid. And on top of it all, as is said several times, Harry is INCREDIBLY like his father. He looks like him, talks like him, and has a penchant for getting into trouble. So when he clashes with Snape (and honestly I think even if they didn't have a history these two would've clashed, they're just too different), Snape takes it personally and treats Harry like shit. AND YET. First year, when Quirrel tries to kill Harry, who saves him? Snape. Third year, when Lupin transforms into a werewolf (and Snape's been making his potion all year and whether Dumbledore forced him or not, let's remember that Lupin was a Marauder and while he probably didn't take direct part in the bullying, he certainly didn't DO anything about it, so frankly it's a miracle Snape didn't poison him), his first instinct is to protect the children - and frankly I think that would've been his first instinct no matter who those kids were, because regardless of the terrible things he's done, Snape is first and foremost a teacher. Fifth year, while he didn't do anything to help the kids directly, he takes the warning Harry gives him (they've got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden) and sends the Order after the kids. I don't think it's ever directly stated that it was him, but how else could the Order know they were there? ALSO. I'M NOT GLOSSING OVER ALL THE SERIOUSLY HORRIBLE THINGS SNAPE DID FIFTH YEAR. But he DID send the Order, so let's give credit where credit's due. He also gives Harry Occlumency lessons, which he made exceedingly unpleasant but he was still trying to protect Harry. Sixth year he hurts Harry in about a billion ways, but to be fair the majority of those ways were ordered by Dumbledore (I have a separate rant on why he's not a bad character either but this essay is long enough). He also tries to protect Malfoy this year, yes on both Dumbledore and his mother's orders, but Snape does recognize that he's just a child and shouldn't have to do something like this.

Now. Seventh year. Snape does a lot of really horrible things this year. Yeah, he does them because he needs Voldemort to trust him so he can bring him down, but that doesn't excuse them. I'm not going to unpack all those things here, because this is already really long, but I'm NOT just ignoring them. Actually I think that they're pretty important to his development, and how he loses himself a bit. But let's look at the two moments that really show the good in him.

Number one. He refused to fight McGonagall. This woman has not only been his colleague for many years, she was his TEACHER. He's known her since he was 11. She's witnessed everything he's gone through, every choice he's made, good and bad, and even not knowing all the reasons and details she STILL forgave him. She treated him with respect, as a fellow teacher. She TRUSTED him, and as far as she knows, he betrayed that trust. That HAD to hurt, knowing she thought he was a bad guy. So in his final interaction with her, when she attacks him to keep him from Harry, he doesn't fight. He can't tell her he's on her side, because he still has a job to do, but he just deflects her spells. His refusal to fight her is the last good piece of him, fighting its way out.

The second time was, of course, his final moments with Harry. After everything he's done to him, after the years of abuse and killing Dumbledore in front of his eyes, Harry still feels pain when he realizes Snape is about to die. He still feels the need to talk to Snape in his final moments, to carry out his final request (to take the memories to the pensieve). This is personally one of my favorite Harry moments, because it shows just how good and kind he is, that he even feels pity for a man he hates and doesn't even know why. But let's take a look at Snape. He's literally dying, but his first reaction to seeing Harry is to give him the memories, so he can defeat Voldemort. He is, to the very end, loyal to Dumbledore. And his second thought - his last - is Lily. He asks Harry to look at him, so that he might see Lily's eyes one last time, even if they're not really hers. His last thought on this earth was of her, and if that isn't love, I don't know what the hell is.

The point of all this is, Snape is human. He isn't necessarily a good person, but he isn't necessarily and a bad one either. Even as a child, he was never as kind as Lily, but she made him kinder. The time when he lost his way the most was when she stopped being there to keep him good. He thought she was happy without him, so he didn't think he mattered, and he did some pretty horrible things. People go dark when they think they don't matter. That was the entire reason for Voldemort's thirst for power. And when he realized she was in danger, and there was something he could do, he did it. Immediately. Without hesitation. He joined the good side and risked his life for the chance that Dumbledore would protect her and her family, even knowing that she'd never know what he was doing. He didn't do it to "get the girl." He did it to save the girl, to let her be happy. And when she died anyway, he spent the next 16 years trying to bring Voldemort down, and let's be honest, he probably didn't do it because it was "the right thing." He did it because it was what Lily would've wanted. He did it to honor her memory, and to protect her son. Snape wasn't some creepy stalker who got rejected and turned bitter. He fell in love with his best friend and spent his entire life trying to protect her and keep her happy, and then trying to honor her memory. He was a man entirely motivated by love, and honestly, I don't know what's more beautiful than that.

#this is really long #but i feel strongly about this #snape is complicated #but he loved Lily #his story is beautiful because it's complicated #harry potter #potterverse #book characters #fictional characters #book rant #fantasy #character development #lily potter #severus snape #pro snape

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faejilly · 5 years ago

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I was tagged by @la-muerta & @facialteeth & @thedivinemissema for the WIP/Title Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

AND THEN by @shadoedseptmbr @msviolacea & @ravenclawnerd for the “stories you want to write... but for some reason haven’t yet”

so this will be a mish-mash of both? The WIPs will mostly have blurbs in this case (to fit the second meme) but you are still welcome to ask follow-up questions, if you’d like ;) Assuming you make it through the list, it is uh. Not Short.

Anyone who would like to play with their WIPs, please consider yourself tagged in either or both of these. :D

Misc Fic Folder:

“untitled document” - where I’m working on fictober fills so I have word-counts for my GYWO tracker. I am not working on these because Brains Are Dumb and also Going Back To Work Is Exhausting

I made a file called “YULETIDE!” which has nothing in it but I’m determined to finish this year so that is definitely technically a thing in the Unending WIP List of Doom worth mentioning. (Tho obviously that’s all I could say even if I had started, because anonymous.)

“coda-fics, rewatch!” -yes, that exclamation mark is important! it’s to keep me motivated! (it didn’t work). Much like untitled, this is for putting stuff so I can do word count tracking even if I don’t know what I’m doing. Currently I think it just says “MARYSE” because I was working on my SH 1x6 coda-fic and then got distracted and haven’t typed anything up yet. (Yay notebooks? Boo notebooks? Not even sure at this point.)

WNIP (works not in progress) Folder:

“TOG” - I had one vivid mental image of how Nicky & Joe met (blood-stained evil smiles?) but then no idea for a follow-up story and also the fandom is insane and I’m not sure I want to deal with all of *gestures vaguely* all that

“Shan Xia Notes” -for a TTRPG that never quite got off the ground; she was a semi-tragic selkie who was still in love with the evil queen/lady who stole her skin and I got to play her for like one session and she was surprisingly chaotic neutral, which wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. But the game never really got off the ground, so I never had enough info to really delve into writing backstory fic

“post-Kruschev” -Kruschev’s List was the last episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King, and I was debating writing an epilogue in place of the s5 we never got, to try and tie up some loose ends, but the fandom’s three old-ladies in trench coats and I never quite worked up the gumption to get it anywhere

“Code Realize warm as silk sequel” -there is literally nothing in this file except “SEX! Only a little angst” because I wanted to write some “we can’t actually touch each other” smut but never actually did. 🤷‍♀️

BioWare (also all Not-In-Progress Anymore)

“seb/adelaide”, “Theia” & “DAI Erana” -these WIP folders were cannibalized for ficlets for the last few times I did fictober, and while originally I had ideas for longer epilogues for all three of them, at this point I don’t think any of the remaining bits could support a story any longer.

”whispers in the dark” -Maia Ryder never really got much fic at all; the cancellation of any further Andromeda stuff was really disheartening, and at this point I’d have to play the game again, and I don’t think I’m gonna manage that any time soon

”TSP” -a Mass Effect 3 Shepard AU collab project that kind of went off the rails, and our mutual brains/lives never quite seem to line up so we can try and rebuild it ”Ngaio & Tane” -my one truly ruthless Shepard (Alliance background, who romanced Traynor) whose father Tane Shepard was, I think, in PsyOps, and I wanted to figure out their complicated relationship but never really did know where I was going with it

”JE Zu & Yaling” -so I’ve rambled about my Tragic Sagacious Zu Romance Thoughts regarding Jade Empire more than once (#Icy Yaling should have most of it) but apparently I want to yell about it more than I want to actually write it? Whoops.

”CI sequel: 5 times fic?” -Cruel Intentions is a kinkmeme fill that I started and then it sat for like five years before I actually finished it, and I liked the ending, but it does leave a giant fucking question mark in terms of how those people got from there to where they are after the game, and I kind of wanted to write a proper h/c fic rather than just... leaving them wallowing in all that trauma?

But I didn’t. I don’t even remember for sure how I wanted to frame the 5/1 of it all, besides it being something sad about allowing people to see you or touch you in some way. (Prayers maybe, since I think there was definitely some Sebastian & Fenris & faith stuff going on in there.)

“candles” -Merribela prompt fill that I never was happy with? Not sure what I might do with it at this point, so it’s just sitting there all sad and lonely and neglected-like.

Shadowhunters

pt1: WIP LIST ONLY

“Persuasion” -so I keep trying to write Persuasion AUs in many fandoms because it’s my favorite Austen, but I think I like it too much, I have no real solid concept of how I’d transform it, and if I don’t have anything else to say about different characters within that framework, I have no push to actually write anything? Also this SH version of it suffered from MASSIVE scope creep when I started outlining and it got too big for me to handle so I like, killed it twice? Whoops. This one is really probably never gonna happen.

“oosdt sequel” -I wanted to write more about the Forest That Eats People and Magnus & Alec as Guardians Between Worlds, and also some background Magnus’ Found Family & Lightwood Family Feels (maybe some clizzy?) and I left a Madzie plot-thread dangling from the first one on purpose even but I think this one had too many ideas and not enough focus so it’s sort of sprawling all over a doc with a lot of “???” in it

“procedural-ish” -this was originally going to be a sex-farce. and then it turned more serious. and then maybe kind of copaganda which was uncomfortable in terms of the Everything That Is The News in 2020, and then maybe it was more a Mafia AU and at that point I had self-inflicted tone whiplash and I wished the voices in my head were a little more forthcoming about their plans so I stopped before I brained myself on my computer monitor in frustration.

“I had rather a rose than live forever” -I started a reverse!verse Malec (Shadowhunter!Magnus, High Warlock!Alec) for bingo last year, and I couldn’t quite get it together in time, so I made a moodboard inspired by the bits I’d started instead. I may see if one of my prompts from Bingo this year help me finish it?

“fall fright fest (practical magic au)” -exactly what it says on the tin! almost exactly a year old & neglected! IDEK ANYMORE (I talked about this one with the WIP meme last time tho: here)

“priest!kink theology?” -I thought it was gonna be smut? I like priest!kink. I have made other people like it and yell at me even! But then I kept diverging into demon!Magnus thinking about Priest!Alec’s faith and as usual, IDEK ANYMORE *laughs*

(If they’re remotely canon-adjacent or divergent, a bunch of these are in here because I need to rewatch the show to get the pacing/timing/tone right and I haven’t, and I don’t know why, because I enjoy the show, but BRAINS! Are Dumb! So I guess that’s it?)

“I do” -I have tried to write this damnable Malec arranged marriage fic like six different times. I have signed up for fic exchanges and bangs with it, I have rewritten massive sections, trying to change tone or structure or POV or whatever, and it basically comes down to they like each other too fast and I keep not gutting it enough to get back to a useful pace, but by the time I realized that I was on take six and kind of sick of it. I may get back to it eventually

“wing!fic” -canon divergent in early s1, trying to deal with the consequences of Simon’s kidnapping as the Truly Serious Event that it should have been. It uh. Got heavier than I expected with those consequences (considering it was originally just supposed to be Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus) and also see above re: rewatching for pacing.

“2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn“ -yes that is the actual wip title. It used to be “spite fic” because I was originally inspired by fighting against a lot of fic!Alec characterization that was clearly based more on the books and ATG syndrome than the Alec in the show, which is the Alec I know and like and want to read about. BUT, pacing and etc. again, I think. Also I have somehow entirely lost my knack for writing porn, which makes it difficult to finish something originally intended to be smut!fic. Or even teasing almost!smut.

“rubbish heap” -so this is about three different fics that I realized complemented each other really well so they’re now all in the same file as I try to turn them into the sequel of “with an if in its soul”. It includes amnesia, parabatai lore shenanigans, a s3 rewrite, and some truly awful Owl adjustments that make me wince in horrified authorly delight and pain. BUT, as with the other ones in this file, the scope is large and I normally write short-fic and I kind of just threw up my hands in exasperation. I may have to break it back up into the three different fics instead, if I ever actually want to write it. Them? But also I need to take better notes on s3 to make sure I have what I need in here.

SH Pt 2: Started posting or not yet in hiatus because it’s actually almost ready to be a thing in the real world! maybe!?

“kisses (firsts)” -I actually started publishing this one, a “series of firsts” that was supposed to be kind of relationship milestones and kind of an excuse for smut, and then there wasn’t that much smut and I lost momentum and also dear lords & ladies the timeline is stupid, wtf. I may not ever add to this one, tbqh. It doesn’t stop in a terrible place, and they’re all ficlets so they stand alone all right.

“clizzy epilogue” -this is blank atm, it’s more a reminder for me to keep poking away at my “girls who can’t breathe air, only fire” collection BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLIZZY AT SOME POINT

"mer!alec" -pts 2-4 of a series, but apparently having an actual plan gets in the way of me *writing* the thing, and I haven't managed to throw the half an outline far enough away from my brain to be able to write again. Or something like that.

"ibhww" -if broken hearts were whole is a soulmate fic I started a million years ago, and purposefully set aside to finish some other WIPs because I thought they'd be quick, and now it's just buried under two and a half years of regret and shame so it's hard to get back to it

"iafy" -i am for you is a delightful & frothy semi-epistolary fluff piece that also just lost momentum because Life & 2020 & etc. It's far and away the most popular thing I've ever posted on AO3, which also makes me feel weird sometimes, and I feel like the fact that there's no grand conclusion planned, just a bit more fluff and settling in, might end up being disappointing? Basically, it's the first time I think I've psyched myself out about reader expectations, and until I get over that I'm going to have trouble finishing the last couple chapters. (There really are probably only two more chapters though. IT’S SO CLOSE, I wish I could just... write it. And yet?)

“fake-hating” -I do not like fake dating as a trope that much, I just do not get it, but I love outside POVs and arranged marriages and there’s this delighful tumblr post about how they wished there was more fic about people who were together but had to pretend they werent’, and uh. This may be that? Eventually? I’m not exhausted by my failure to finish it yet, so it’s still in the regular folder rather than the hiatus folder, even though nothing’s been posted for it.

AND I THINK THAT’S IT?

Not as terrible as it could be, but still. MANY WORDS THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. Posting the equivalent of one’s old ratty sketchbook is always a weird feeling. :D

#on writing #writing memery #unending WIP List Of Doom

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iliveinprocrasti-nation · 5 years ago

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Go ahead and info dump about literally anything, its almost guaranteed to be more interesting than school

ok so i had to finish some notes for school but the school day has ended so strap on your seatbelts and get ready to hear about some of the cultural/literary effects of tuberculosis because these facts live in my head rent free. i’m hoping these are all correct but if anything isn’t then plz tell me

So tuberculosis has been in and out throughout history. The difference when it came in the Victorian era is that people Did Not Know How To Act. the mid-1800s in Europe and the U.S. was real bad for tb (for background on tb: it’s an infectious disease that goes ham on the lungs and messes with the organs and sometimes the spinal cord and has literally been around since the Neolithic period). It’s treatable and stuff now but it wasn’t really back then.

So the Victorians looked at this disease that caused people to basically just waste away and, for some reason, decided “wow! romantic!” Tuberculosis was thought as a romantic way to die (one of the names for tb is “consumption”; this’ll come up later particularly because of Lord Byron). Tb was also called “the white plague”. Was it to compare it to other serious diseases, or was it to also give a nod to the fact that it was associated with youth and innocence (many younger people would die from the disease which also gave it the name “the robber of youth”), going so far as to even be associated with holiness? Yes.

So starting in the late 1700s (like... 1780 i think) through the 1800s people looked at tb and they looked at women and they were like “here are your beauty standards, you’re welcome”. One of the symptoms of tb is lack of appetite, so victims would get real skinny. Therefore, being skinny became a majour beauty standard. Fashion also changed to “consumptive chic” where skirts were made bigger and corsets became more pointed so that thin waists became really emphasised (look up some drawings of rich women in dresses and you’ll see what i mean). This actually changed later when they stopped romanticising tb, and corsets were changed to be stretchier because people thought that the pressure put on the ribs and lungs by the stiff corsets of the Victorian era would exacerbate tuberculosis.

Tb victims also got really pale, but they would have very red lips and cheeks (y’know that funny little disease you see in a lot of period movies when a character has a fever and dramatically coughs blood into a handkerchief before tragically dying? welcome to tuberculosis). So women would use makeup (sometimes arsenic i think but dont quote me on that) to make themselves pale and then colour their lips and cheeks red. It would be an interesting look, can’t say I’m gonna go for it.

The effects of tuberculosis on culture also are still around today. Suprise! Hemlines rose a few inches because people were like “damn, you see that long skirt?? it is touching the floor. obviously, it is now infested with tuberculosis”. Much smart, very intelligence. You know, the same way they thought it was spread by miasma (pockets of bad air) (they technically weren’t totally wrong but they were definitely not right). A similar reasoning to the skirt was behind facial hair going out of style. Sunbathing?? Started by doctors who would recommend sunlight as a cure for tb.

Now we’re gonna move onto literature and a fun little game I like to call “Did your Victorian fave romanticise tuberculosis?” Do you like John Keats? Lord Byron? Edgar Allen Poe? Robert Louis Stevenson? Emily Brontë? If so, your Victorian fave has, indeed, romanticised tuberculosis (and also maybe died from it like these guys did not have the greatest luck but it could have also been the universe looking at their work and saying “well here you go then ig”). This practice was known as “graveyard poetry”, and I guess it is *technically* a very odd form of coping. Should we bring it back? Perhaps.

Lord Byron is known as having remarked to his friend “I should like, I think, to die of consumption” (a quote that lives in my head rent free because ????). His reason? He thought he could get a lot of chicks because they would obviously pity him and think his dying process was “interesting” (sir are you ok wtf that is not how you get a da-).

Edgar Allen Poe again retains his title as the weirdest motherfucker in the book. So apparently he saw his (first) wife, who eventually died of tuberculosis, cough up blood at the dinner table one day, and his response to this event was saying that all the, yknow, hacking up blood made her look “even more ethereal”. I would just like to say: what the actual fuck. Everyone else kinda paints it as very sad but with a strange beauty to it (understandable ig). Poe has missed that pitch, and has instead chosen to swing at his overall theme that I like to call “unfortunate, but sexy!”

Emily Brontë did romanticise tuberculosis a little bit, but I think she gets a pass because the majority of her family (her, her brother, her four sisters, and their mother) all died of tuberculosis so I think she just had trauma and dealt with it the best she could.

Also bonus: did tuberculosis give us vampires? I read this somewhere so I’m just gonna add this in. Some people think that vampires are just kinda,,, funky tuberculosis victims I think?? The venn diagram between vampires and tuberculosis victims having red lips, an association with blood, being pale, and just kinda wasting away is a perfect circle.

#i spent an hour typing this out and it was the best hour of my life #if you cannot tell #i have spent hours researching this #and my parents and irl friends hear me talk about it nonstop #thank you for the excuse to ramble #j answers #jae likes epidemiology #tuberculosis #blood tw #death tw #long post #tell me if i have to tag anything else #poppyville #cursing tw

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doodle-doodie-doo · 5 years ago

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Ranting about how Gaz, taster of pork is my fave iz ep bc >:(((

iI wanted to make this rant for a while now so why the hell not, I’ve also been wanting to rant about this ep and why its my all time favorite...because why the hell not... __________ This episode is way above the others for me, nothing can beat this. Ever sense I started watching Invader Zim I wanted an ep like this, and when I first watched it I knew it was going to be my fave and god I was so so exited, where do I start? I hear some people don’t like this episode because how much Dib abuse is in it, for someone who kins Dib and whenever I see Dib get hurt in the show (which is like every single fucking ep) I feel horrible for him, but in this ep I did not, and I actually found it pretty funny, I laughed. From the start I knew Gaz and Dib where going to be my favorites and the more the show went on the more and more I loved these two and wanted to just see these two on screen, honestly I was starting to get tired of a lot of ep’s just being Dib vs Zim, I really wanted something else, not ONLY in this ep just about Dib and Gaz, how its done is done so so PERFECTLY. _____________ I don’t want to point out every single part why I like it so much (probably will, anyways) starting off, Dib is fucking adorable in the start, thats perfect for me, LOVE THAT SHIT. That fucking....squeal he did?? yes. Ill take that shit. thank u..... And Gaz just walking in bitching about how Dib ate her food and hes just fucking too focused on his hard drives or whatever, its fucking perfect. Dib just being a fanboy in the start and Gaz bitching about whatever to him is perfect for me, I think this was the first time we saw Gaz’s room and I love how it’s filled with stuffed animals, that is so perfect for her character you have NO IDEA. And I love what I’m assuming is dragon pajamas, what I love most of all is Gaz calling in her stuff animals to throw Dib out her room, the idea of Gaz having these creepy dolls that come to life is one of the best concepts for her character and I wish people would do more with that. I like how Dib just isn’t down right scared of Gaz all the time, like he is still willing to be selfish about himself, giving her the shadow hog curse and lying ABOUT IT LMAO WHAT AN ASSHOLE. Dib then starts to act fucking dumb af, like “OH NO I DIDNT DO CRAP GAZ 0W0W0W0W0W0W0W0W0W0W00″ But Gaz b like: nah hoe Dib’s still being an ass, then the ep JUST GETS FUCKING BETTER. One of my alltime favorite things about this ep is that you can slowly see Dib get more and more scared, and Gaz more and more upset, you can tell something really bad is going to happen to Dib at the end, but you don’t know what, and it’s even more scary because its Gaz...THAT IS JUST, SUCH ASMAZING WRITING, I REALLY ADORE SHIT LIKE THAT, GOD. I love how Gaz dosen’t start getting angry too early, I like how you see her eat every single food and creepy music is just being played, she’s also not eating all the food too fast, you can just FELL SHIT BOUTTA HAPPEN SOON 4 REAL one of my favorite fucking animation clips from this ep is just when Gaz is eating and just spitting it all in Dib’s face while he’s reading his book trying to fix this curse, you can start to feel Dib, and how much he is starting to panic, its amazing,. _______ AND THEN THE FUCKING, MASHED PATATO PART HHABSJDGEK THAT PART HAD ME DYING, AND WHEN GAZ OPENED HER EYES WHILE DOING IT IT WAS SO FUCKING CURSED, AND THEN GAZ JUST GIVES UP AND THROWS THE FOOD AT SOME RANDOM ASS AND DIB IS LIKE “NOOO NOT ZITA” ITS SO FUCKING DUMB AND PERFECT I LOVE IT. I forgot to add this but I love Gaz’s voice through out this and how she is acting, she’s not too too scary (at the start at least) like how shes acting and her voice tone and everything, which makes it even more scary for some reason, like its not overdone, u fucking SCARED LIKE U CAN TELL SOME SHIT BOUTTA GO DOWN. side note I love how Gaz’s teacher is nothing like mrs. Bitters, its so funny. ALSO??? ALSO???? I LOVE THE LITTLE MOMENT WHERE GAZ AND DIB IS HOLDING HANDS WHILE WALKING HOME, LOVE THAT, LOVE THAT SOOO MUCH, SO CUTE WTF. also I LOVE THE PIG GIRL THING. Just seeing art for that in that ep is so cool, AND WHEN GAZ IS IN THAT LITTLE PIGGY OUTFIT SO SO CUTE, I’m telling you, Gaz’s animal is Pigs, like Dib’s animal is moths. It fits too well. It’s so so cool to see something crazy and insane happening to Gaz for a change and not Dib and Zim. And its still just as funny, if not, even MORE FUNNY. and i adore the PART WHERE DIB IS JUST TALKING TO A RANDOM HOBO LIKE ITS SO FUCKING RANDOM AND POINTLESS IM WATCHING THE EP RN AND I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT IT JUST EXISTS LMAOO aND it is super super cute when Dib was talking to Zim, just, that part was so perfect, you can tell that Dib really does care. AND HERE COMES THE BEST PART AND THE IDEA FOR MY DEMON GAZ AU WHERE LIKE, GAZ SEEMS LIKE SHE HAS THESE EVIL POWERS, JHONEN CAN SAY “NO SHE DONT HOE” BUT IM LIKE “YEET TEET S I R” THAT, YES YES HELL YES THAT WAS SO SO PERFECT WHAT THE FUCK?? and___ _______ oh my god. oh. my. fucking. god. Like the most funny part of tHE EP IS THE PART WE WHERE WAITING FOR, DO YALL KNOW HOW FUCKING FUNNY IT WAS??? OK, OK. A LISTEN. WHEN GAZ FINALLY COMES OUT HER CAGE THINNG, U KNOW DIB BOUTTA GET BLASTED, AND GAZ JUST BEATS THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT HIM, but get this, HE SOUNDS LIKE A SQUEAKY TOY. YES, YES, YES, ALL MY YES, 100/10, 100/10. 100/10. thtt SHITR....HAD ME DEAD, FUCKING DEAD. AND THE PART WHERE THEY WHERE IN BEAVER COSTUMES WHERE SO SO ADORBALE, THEY ARE SO CUTE, I LOVE THEM, Dib and Gaz where so so on point in this ep. ________ the shadow hog place,,,,,OH MY FUCKING GOD, HOW, HOW CAN YOU GET MORE PERFECT??? THE PIGS AND EVERYTHING JUST, EVERYTHING LOOKS AND FEELS SO SPOTLESS, WHOEVER DESIGNED THAT MMMEFNJEFHIE This is when Dib starts to get very protective and this is JUST. WHAT. I WANT. from Dib and Gaz. PLUS i love the shadow Hog, hes nice. ONE ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS EVER, LIKE, MAYBE IN THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN SHOW, IS JUST DIB FIGHTING THEM SHADOW HOG GUARDS, JUST, ITS NOT normal Dib abuse like in every ep, THEM HOGS ARE LEGIT BEATING THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT HIM, LIKE DAMN BRUH THEY FUCKING, DAMN, BUT THATS NOT GOING TO STOP DIB, EVERYTIME HE GETS HURT HE JUST GETS RIGHT BACK UP, HE DOSENT WANT GAZ TO GET HURT OR DIE, HE CARES THAT MUCH, HE JUST KEEPS FUCKING, GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND DAMN WTJHWVWUTD, BRUUUHHH DID YALL SEE THE PART WHEN DIB GOT THROWN BACK AND THE BACKGROUND WAS RED?? BRUH I FELT THAT BRUH, DIB REALLY DID SAY:N BEKFHEJHFJOEFJKFJKLWEHLIFJGEIURGFURWEHGRK LIKE MY MAN GOT THROWN LIKE THAT LIKE BRUIH KISSES TO THE ANIMATIORS THAT FUCKING, THAT MOVEMEANT WAS SO SO IMPRESSIVE AND SMOOTH HOW TF THEY DID THAT EVERYTIME I WATCH HIM GET THROWN BACK LIKE THAT WHEN THE SCREEN IS RED IM JUST ALWAYS LIKE ‘whoa” aND gAZ and the shadow hog lord oh my god they are perfect, I love how they just, start dancing in tu tu’s and playing video games and Gaz is just ranting to him about how dumb her life is its all. so perfct. Keep in mind this is both going on at the same time which makes it 100 times better, this is what makes a cartoon so GOD DAMN PERFECT. pOOR Dib when he comes in he just feels so so horrible, so sorry for Gaz, and the pig lord actua,lly dosent know what to do and gaz is like “yeah punish him lmfao” AND THEN THE TOILET PART OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT WAS JUST ALMOST AS FUNNY AS WHEN GAZ BEATS DIB AAND HES JUST A SQUEAKY TOY LMAO, it makes it 10000000000 times better because you dont see whats in the toilet and Dibs just freaking out, that is so perfect, that what makes good writing and a joke work, that was perfect. AND THE ENDING, OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST dIB YELLING IN PAIN, perfect. Theres jsut so much good shit in this ep that just makes it better than the others. I wanted more of shit like this from the show and etc, I also want more fanart of pig Gaz. Good shit man

#Invader zim #rant #iz #Dib membrane #Gaz membrane #Zim #Gaz taster of pork #spoilers for ppl who plan on watching iz soon for the first time

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ichigo777666 · 5 years ago

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FE3H Characters Ranked

My opinions of all the main characters in FE3H ranked from worst to best in my opinion. These are MY opinions! Spoilers ahead, obviously.

*NOTES*

This does not include any of the DLC characters. This also does not include the following characters since they have limited dialog / appearances within the game: Gwendal, Pallardo, Duke Aegir, Anna, Lambert, Ionious, Metodey, Kostas, Holst, Macuil, and Indech. Any other characters who are only mentioned by name are also not included. And Byleth is also not on this list due to being the player’s character.

Everyone else included in this list has a few interactions or mentions in multiple ending paths so they’re fair game. Not having a lot of interactions is not going to affect placement that much so don’t be surprised if some major characters wind up low on the list…

*The PIT*

Aka the worst of the worst. The characters I would throw into the void.

#54 – Leonie

I absolutely hate this character so much. Her personality is so flat and grating that she drives me up a wall. Her character can be summed up in two words “loves Jeralt” – that’s it. Just about everything about Leonie revolves around impressing Jeralt or being like Jeralt or doing this because of Jeralt ect. I don’t care if she’s useful as a playable character – every time she opens her mouth I cringe. Her support which is only available after Jeralt dies in which she berates you for “not appreciating him enough” is just the epitomny of selfishness. Then PTS she basically turns herself into a second Jeralt, replicting his outfit as best she can and giving herself his title “the blade breaker” and adds a 2. Excuse you, but is ANYONE can call themseleves that it’s Byleth, aka Jeralt’s child, not YOU. But she doesn’t care and does it anyway...

#53 – Rodrigue

Oh boy this is going to be a very unpopular opinion but in terms of a character, Rodrigue is kind shit. Rodrigue earns this spot for being the shittiest living parent in the game. His eldest son Glenn dies and his comment on that is how “he died like a true knight”. His first emotional response is pride not remorse. He never mentions how much he loved him or how he misses him: just how proud he was of him… And this pisses off poor Felix. Felix whom gets left ALONE after this happens because Rodrigue decides he’s got to be Dimitri’s mentor / guardian. So he basically straight up abandons his grieving 13 year old son to be the new father figure of the prince. Dimitri was more important to him that his own child. We can all see what the impact of this was on Felix through the game. And then, in Azure Sky, when Rodrigue joins you as a “mentor” character, he lacks all balls. Dimitri is going crazy and acting like a psychopath and Rodrigue doesn’t even really try to do anything about that – he just stands aside and comments on how he’s “changed”. I mean FRICK MAN – your were his guardian, his mentor. TALK TO HIM! But NOOOOOOO! So yeah, Rodrigue sucks!

#52 – Lord Lonato

Speaking of shit parents, here’s another for you! Yes, Lonato was kind enough to allow Ashe and his siblings to live with him, which is the oddest decision ever considering this came about after Lonato caught Ashe sneaking into his castle to steal from him. “I’ll just adopt this thief child”. Despite that act of kindness, he also chose to not tell Ashe the truth about what happened to his son Christophe; that Christophe was not involve with the Duscar incident but rather had been a part of a plot to try and kill Rhea. Lonato could not bring himself to believe that his son was wrong or had done anything wrong. Despite the fact that his son had decided, for whatever reason, to try and kill someone, Lonato thought that this was okay. He then sacrificed himself for the sake of trying to avenge his true son instead of continuing to care for the children he’d taken in. He basically took Ashe & his siblings in, giving them security for the first time in years, then chooses to follow his only wrong beliefs and thus put Ashe & his siblings back into the world again. He gave them 7 years of security and this just went “oh well, you’re on your own again”.

#51 – Gilbert / Gustave

And rounding out the “shit parents” section of the list, we have the father that literally abandons his daughter and wife due to own depression. He’s totally alive and out there but just can’t bring himself to give a crap about either or write them any letters. Nope, he’s caught up in his head that he wasn’t there during the tragedy of Duscar, of how he “should have arrived sooner”. I mean, really? It is in now way his fault just because he’s a knight. He wasn’t supposed to be there and he’s got guilt that he wasn’t there? Seriously man?! And then when he finally does reunite with Annette all he does is push her away. Instead of letting Annette decide whatever she wants to be around him again, he chooses for her and denies her attempts to reconnect with him. Yeah, shit father…

*The Bottom of the Barrel*

These characters are bad. They’re not absolute utter garbage like the PIT characters, but they still are awful.

#50 – Dimitri

Yeah, I don’t like Dimitri. What is there to like about this guy? He was traumatized as a teenage when his dad was killed in-front of him and that changed him into a survival-guilt ridden bloodthirsty killer? Jeez, it honestly feels like someone tried to ft a whole bunch of tropes into one cohesive character and failed massively. The whole “brooding” phase in Azure Sky where he’s basically a tantrum throwing 5 year old only makes him worse. Also, I still don’t understand WHY he immediately jumped to the whole “Edelgard is the one who killed my parents” conclusion. The entire Duscar incident had nothing to do with Edelgard, unless Dimitri thinks a teenager with no power could do that. And, if he’s blaming the Empire, why does that extend to Edelgard who was just a princess at the time? I could see if something like the FE was present and that’s why he went crazy after Edelgard but I’m pretty sure the FE didn’t exist back then… so WTF? This is like “my parents were killed by a drunk driver. Hey you, unrelated person who just learned to drive this year, you are drunk therefore I HATE YOU – you killed my parents!” Really, no. NO.

#49 – Acheron

He has a minor role only but you fight him twice and you can get some background from Lorenz. He’s annoying and I guess he’s designed to be so. I don’t like him much. But he’s not as annoying as Dimitri.

#48 – Cyril

Oh Cyril. He’s such an annoying character. He’s a more toned down version of Leonie with his obsession with Rhea. He’s a bit of a jerk during his support conversations and he’s dismissive of his homeland. I think his supports with Seteth best show what Cyril’s all about: he’s devoting himself to repaying Rhea without thought for anything else, even his own future. He has no ambitions and no desires….how can a character be so bland?

#47 – Hannerman

And the obsessive one. ‘Obsession with Crests’ is just the only phrase you need to describe Hannerman. While I can understand why Hannerman as a character wants to research crests, the way he goes about it is just wrong. He hounds Lysithia w/o realizing why she’s avoiding his questions until she basically has to spell out WHY she’s uncomfortable with talking about it. He’s been hounding Seteth for 21 years about his crest and Flayn’s too. 21 fricking years of bothering someone and he can’t understand the answer “no”.

#46 – Arundel

Yeah, he’s a piece of shit but at least he’s interesting. He’s Edelgard’s uncle and yet he basically allowed her to be experimented on. Why? Who knows? He’s associated with TWSITD but why? Power? Conquest? He’s mysterious. His personality “suddenly changed” leaving the option open that he was replaced and the Arundel that exists now is a fake. He’s intriguing but he’s still a piece of crap.

#45 – Dedue

Oh Dedue. I feel like Dedue is stuck playing the “victim” card but without looking for sympathy. He’s from Duscar so everyone looks down on him...and Dedue just takes it. He doesn’t try to defend himself or say that just because he’s from Duscar doesn’t mean he’s evil. He does nothing to try and change anyone’s opinions – he’s content to just sit and take it. But then he talks about wanting to have the world move past the tragedy….so which is it Dedue? In order to have it change, you need to actually DO SOMETHING!!!!

#44 – Thales

The weakest character of the main three. The game tells you almost nothing about Thales...and then you go and read the wiki and find out he’s Arundel….yeah mind telling us that game?! So he’s higher than Arundel.

#43 – Nemesis

Another evil character with no personality or real background. Why did he start his rampage? Was he manipulated or just evil? Who knows….

#42 – Judith

Judith has such a small role unless you’re playing VW. And in VW she’s a bit of a bitch who treats Claude as a misbehaving child even after he proves himself again and again.

#41 – Nader

AKA the Alymrian general you meet briefly in VW and in CF. He’s in for less than a few minutes and he appears to be jolly/happy and has the rep of being an undefeated general. I guess he’s alright. But with no real role I can’t bring myself to feel anything for him

#40 – Annette

When I first played I was on the fence with Annette. I sorta liked her determination and her drive to reunite her family. But then her singing started...and oh boy do I hate her singing. So many of her supports center around that annoying singing! Just STOP already, please! Also WTF is that blue “tab” in her PTS redesign that’s right on her butt? It’s the only one...

#39 – Ferdinand

Ferdinand’s personality is just...annoying. From his meme’d battle line to his constant talk of “being a noble” he just grates my nerves. And why does he act like this? Because his father is not and he’s trying to not be like his father and be a “good person”….

*The Low-End*

These characters are “eh” characters. They’re aren’t too good or too bad...but they lean more towards bad than good.

#38 – Kronya / Monica

This was an interesting idea. I just wish she had been more involved or usable. Like if you’re playing BE house, she becomes a playable member. Something to endear her a bit more other than “this other random character you rescued who acts suspiciously”. Let’s face it, we all knew something was up with her. And then she’s killed off so easily and quickly...

#37 – Cornelia

Okay, she’s a bit interesting and a manipulator. They weren’t afraid to give her an “ugly face”. She’s a schemer and not afraid to flaunt her assets to give her an advantage.

#36 – Alois

Eh. Alois. Loves jokes, very loyal. I guess he’s alright but he’s not spectacular and some of the jokes and just so so so so so so bad.

#35 – Ashe

Ashe is another character that I think lacked development. I mean he just gained a slight bit of confidence and purpose but he’s not one for much change. His personality over all is a bit bland: he likes stories about knights and is worried about his siblings. Oh and he used to be a thief.

#34 – Jeritza

Bland because he’s meant to be bland. His other personality is typical “killer knight”. What saves Jeritza is his support conversations where you get background and you realize why he’s the way he is.

*The Middle Ground*

These characters are right in the middle. Not great but not awful.

#33 – Ladislava

In every ending except CF, you only get to see her once but in CF you can chat with her and learn more about her. She’s the head of Edelgard’s person guard and its heavily implied she had next to nothing before this appointment. She’s fully loyal to Edelgard, even willing to die for her cause.

#32 – Flame Emperor

I listed this character separate since FE is an enigma. I actually liked the design of the FE and the whole mystery surrounding them.

#31 – Manuela

I’m...ambivalent about Manuela. She’s a drunken whiner at time and other time she turns into something sweet and reliable. She’s so worried about her age but she’s NOT that old. It’s a bit trope-y though...to have an older character all concerned about her age.

#30 – Jeralt

Jeralt’s a good dad character albeit a flawed one too. It’s a shame they didn’t give him any support conversations to flesh him out more. As it is most of what we learn about Jeralt comes from others.

#29 – Sothis

I don’t hate Sothis like most. She’s a bit bratty, yes but look at from her way – she’s got no memories, no recollections, and has found herself somehow stuck with this person. She tries to help out Byleth best she can, even if it sometimes leads to near disaster.

#28 – Gatekeeper

A nice wholesome character who always wants to help out and be useful. He’s a nice guy but suffers from lack of characterization.

#27 – Mercedes

First off, I dislike the “breathy” quality of her voice. She’s a very nice girl and very kind...but that’s about all there is to Mercedes...

#26 – Raphael

Ah, the big guy who loves to eat. He’s overprotective but not too overprotective of his little sister. He’s strong, interested in his muscles, and in getting stronger but it’s because he’s shouldering the responsible of taking care of his sister. Still he’s a bit trope-y.

#25 – Lindhardt

Lindhardt make up your dang mind! He talks about wanting to study crests but when he’s offered by two separate people to do just that he complains about how he’s being “tied down”. Really? His laziness and sleepiness also gets tired after a while.

#24 – Ignatz

Ignatz is a character who shows a lot of growth and goes from having no confidence in what he wants to do to finding his path. However Ignatz remains a pushover who gives in to whatever anyone advises even when he knows its wrong. It takes a long, long, long time for Ignatz to learn to have any say in himself...which is why he’s down here.

#23 – Solon

The most developed of the three main TWSITD characters. I feel his reveal as Tomas was ruined by the poorly executed Monica / Kronya earlier. However he was unexpected. Who expects the librarian? It would have been better if they didn’t have him as “suspect” in the whole Flayn is missing part through.

#22 – Randolph

You only really get to know Randolph in CF although he’s got a minor part in AS where we see that he truly cares for his sister and how he feels he must do this, even if he risks dying. In CF, we get to learn more about Randolph. He’s actually a step-uncle to Caspar through his mother marrying into the family. He has no power or clout so everything he earns is done by action. It’s a shame they killed him off so early.

#21 – Caspar

Caspar is a good character in several ways. He’s not depressed about not being the heir to his house and is motivated to find his own way. He knows he’s flawed and in his supports he tries to change only to learn that he’s better off following his own path. It’s his boisterous yelling and charging headfirst into danger is what I don’t like about him.

*The High Side*

These are characters I like. They’re not the best but I like them and can understand them.

#20 – Hilda

Ah Hilda. Hilda’s one of those characters that surprise you. Hilda starts off being this lazy character who doesn’t want to battle and doesn’t want to do chores. Not because she can’t do them, but just because she’s lazy. You see her trying to get out of things in her supports only to either feel guilty or wind up helping someone learn something. But I think where Hilda shines is in VW where she acts as Claude’s “advisor” and some of Claude’s best plans come from suggestions from Hilda. By then she’s come into her own. I also enjoy Hilda’s C support with Seteth greatly where he just lists all the excuses she’s given flat out as Hilda gets more and more nervous.

#19 – Claude

Claude made it up here due to his unprediacbility. Some of his plots/schemes are downright hillarious. Claude is unashamed of who he is and where he comes from – he knows who he is and who he wants to become. And, in a game riddled with characters who struggle with that very issues, Claude’s a bit of a breath of fresh air.

#18 – Fleche

Ah Fleche. She’s a very minor character but she’s got such an impact on the story in AM – this is what path we’re going to discuss. We first meet Fleche when she’s talking with Randolph, her brother, right before Randolph heads out on a mission that will ultimately end with his death. Instead of doing the typical thing for a young girl which is to cry, Fleche goes ‘nah’ and decides to take revenge. She disguises herself as a “maiden” and goes to try and join the Kingdom Army; she’s allowed to by Dimitri. Fleche bides her time and waits until after a big battle and then straight up goes and tries to murder Dimitri. She actually stabs him once and barely fails in her task of killing him. Against Dimitri, one of the strongest characters... a little girl.. Yeah, Fleche is kinda badass.

#17 – Miklan

Okay, so here’s another good sympathetic villain character. Miklan was born with no crest so he was looked down upon by his family. He was the first child however so his family kept him...at least until his brother Sylvain was born with a crest. Then Milan became “garbage” and useless in the eyes of his family and thus was disinherited. He lashed out against his brother multiple times. With no one on his side, Milkan became the leader of a group a bandits and began taking things he wanted, things he felt he should have had, by any means necessary. He later stole the heirloom lance from his family, intent of keeping it and its power for himself. While it’s true Miklan is not a nice person at all, more like a sadist, the reason he became that way was due the treatment of his family.

#16 – Dorothea

I am in the camp of the very few who like Dorothea’s second outfit better than her first – that dress is boss. Some of her supports are downright sweet and her interactions with Ingrid in their paralogue are just adorable. I love how we get to see so many different sides of Dorothea and how she treats each of her aquantinces with the side of herself that’s most appropiate.

#15 – Shamir

The silent Shamir. Unlike so many characters who talk and talk and talk, Shamir only speaks when necessary until she gets close to someone. Her skills are top-knotch, which is showcased in her supports. Her personality is a reflection of her work and the kind of jobs she does as well as her way of protecting herself. She’s mysterious and deadly.

#14 – Rhea

Oh Rhea. I’m often torn in the way I feel about her, going from understanding to becoming frustrated with her within the span of a single conversation. Her desire to see her mother is what drives everything she does – every single thing. She is 100% committed to trying to reach her goal, no matter the cost, and she’s been at it for almost an eon. Outside of that goal, what she’s doing she truly believes is the right thing. She’s trying to guide people towards the right path and away from conflict. She lets no one truly into her innermost thoughts, not even Seteth, and her emotions are all sequested away, so much so that when they do come out it becomes obvious. I mean, for anyone who thinks she’s nuts, let’s take a look at some of the trauma she’s gone through. Her beloved mother, whom she obviously cared for more than anything, was murdered and her body was used to make a weapon. Said weapon was then used to slaughter the vast majority of her brethern who were then in turn alos turned into weapons to be used to kill. She had to then fight the man who had killed her mother to reclaim what’s left of her body and to stop any more pointless killing. Yeah, Rhea’s had it rough.

#13 – Marianne

Ah, sweet Marianne. It was great to watch her change and grow based on her supports with the other characters. Her caring nature towards the animals, espcially the horses, was lovely – she even knows the names of a few of them (the only one to refer to the horses by name). I like how her PTS outfit reflects the changes she’s overcome – even the subtly of making her hair neater.

#12 – Catherine

Badass female knight with a legendary sword. She’s brash, not lady-like, and not afraid of anything really. The way she rushes into combat w/o a though for danger, the fact that she doesn’t try and hide her past from the person whom it affects the most, and her way of testing people. Catherine’s great.

#11 – Hubert

Juts missing the top 10 is loyal Hubert. I’ll admit I didn’t like Hubert at first but he grew on me bit by bit. Hubert’s S-Support with Byleth is like the cutest thing ever – I was not expecting it at all. This is loyalty done in a good way.

*The Summit*

The best characters in the game, IMO. These are the characters I love!

#10 – Petra

I got to admit, I like her not-perfect talking. That’s so much of Petra’s charm. Adding to that is how Petra’s always trying her best and trying to advance herself. She has modest goals she wishes to reach and doesn’t try and sell herself as better than she is. She’s always willing to learn and to help others. When there’s someone with a different opinion, Petra tries to understand why they feel the weay they feel and to try and find common ground.

#9 – Lysithia

Oh poor girl. Lysithia struggles with others seeing her as a child or too childish due to the fact that she’s younger than most of the students. She’s incredibly intellegent and throws herself into her studies. Both of these things lead to others teasing her, either playfully or actually. Instead of taking it stride, this ‘teasing’ causes her temper to show and erupt. She can’t tell them WHY she’s trying so hard, why she’s so desperate to achieve cause that would reveal her secret. She’s burrying all this hurt and anger deep inside that she can’t talk about because can understand what she went through (except perhaps Edelgard). And even though she knows she’s going to likely die soon, she’s not focused on her own life: she’s doing all she’s doing to try and help her family...

#8 – Sylvain

Sylvain quickly became one of my favorite blue lion boys. At first glance he looks like this degenerate womanizer...and then you learn abut him and why Sylvain is why he is. His father views him as a studhorse and that his crest is the only good thing about him; his father literally cannot see Sylvain as an actual person, just a way to further the family. Having a father like this and a brother who hates him for having been born with a crest has greatly shaped Sylvain. In order to have some semblence of himself, Sylvain began to act out, to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he could to not be what he was supposed to be. His father wanted a noble son; Sylvain did everything he could to not be that. This got him into trouble again and again but Sylvain didn’t care. Sylvain is willing to do things that make others look down upon him if it helps him try and escape from his life...

#7 – Bernadetta

Aw, Bernie. Bernie’s such a good girl. Based on what she went through, it’s amazing she’s even sane. Her father’s idea of parenting was tying her to a chair and forcing her to remain quiet and submissive for hours, to “teach her to be a good wife” which is the reason she turned into such a nervous wreck of shut-in. He resorted to beating to near death a boy she made friends with because he was a commoner, which terrified Bernie into not wanting to make friends at all. Bernie’s mom seemed to have a little sense and smuggled her out but this is only AFTER she allows this stuff to go on for years – YEARS. Bernie’s had years of psycological trama inflicted on her and then she gets thrust into a school surrounded by people whom she has to interact with. The poor thing. It’s a testament to her professors and friends to see how far Bernie has come; to watch her change and grow as she slowly comes around to adjusting to normality.

#6 – Ingrid

There is something incredibly entertaining about a lady knight who loves to gorge herself on food. Loving eating food is generally a character trait you see on guys (typically big guys like Raphael) so to see it on a chick is a good change of pace. Her whole no-nonsense strict attitude is a great contrast to that. She’s not girly or into very lady-like things such as dresses or makeup or tea parties. Ingrid is a guy’s soul in a girl’s body….and she’s amazing.

#5 – Felix

If you haven’t read the entry for Rodrigue (he’s #53 on this list) go read that first. After all that shit that Felix’s gone through, it’s amazing he’s even still standing and capable. He’s stewing with anger and grief that he’s never been able to work through and it manifests as anger and his stand-off attitude. Poor freaking Felix.

#4 – Flayn

Fishy Queen. I do not get the hate for Flayn. She’s been horribly oversheleted by Seteth in his attempts to protect her so it’s left Flayn a bit naive. Flayn’s usually very cheery and happy which is a bright light in the depressing war times. She’s also a quite capable mage, mainly with healing magic but she can also learn a good bit of reason magic too. Flayn is always trying her best while trying to fit in with the others – she’s over 1000 years old, mind you! It can’t be easy trying to fit in when you don’t understand and when a vast majorirty of those years were spent asleep. She was involved in an ancient battle where she was badly injured (Seteth blames it on her being too young) and requires sleep inorder to heal. Meanwhile everyone else she knew and lived with aside from Seteth was killed. She wakes up an everything she knew and just about everyone she knew is just...gone. Not only her beloved mother but any friends she had too are just gone. It’s no wonder she fears falling asleep when this is what happened. Her obession with fish? It’s Flayn’s coping mechanism for dealing with the loss of her mother. Flayn explains on numerous occassions that she spent lots of time sitting with her mother while she fished and that fish is her favorite food due “to no small part” of this pastime. Fishing and eating fish is Flayn’s way of remembering her mother and dealing with the fact that she’s no longer with her. Flayn’s supports are just great; they all develop her personality more. With Dimitri and Dedue, Flayn’s cooking is explored. Flayn can’t cook although she tries her best. With Dedue, Flayn tries to learn to cook better. With Dimitri, Flayn expresses her disdain that no one enjoys her cookings and how this wastes food, even when she tries her best. Obviously Flayn never cooked before – her mother did most of it. Now there’s no one in her family to cook so Flayn’s trying to learn to try and follow in her mom’s footsteps. With Ignatz and Manuela, Flayn’s exploring things she never has seen or done before: the opera for Manuela and paintings with Ignatz. In Claude’s and Lindhardt’s supports, Flayn sidesteps questions about her heritage and her crests. With Sylvain, we see how Flayn grows and learns to not trust the rumors others say. In Felix’s, she’s trying to help Felix find a purpose after the war ends that still allows him to use his sword. With Raphael’s it’s Flayn who’s being helped by Raphael as she tries to “grow stronger”; she even mentions how she’s frail and how this worries Seteth. And then there’s Ferdinand’s supports where it’s clear Flayn’s been starved of physical affections aside from Seteth. And their supports, between Seteth and Flayn, are a great progression between the two...Overall, I love little Flayn.

#3 – Lorenz

I like noble boy. I will admit, I hated his schooldays haircut with a burning passion...and then man on man did he become HOT pts. Winner of the best boy glow-up. A lot of Lorenz’s character flaws are the fault of his father. His father taught him that all that is important is being nobility and Lorenz ate it up, not knowing any better. His father instilled into him how he neeed to find a wife to further the family’s influence and thus how she must be a noble. This worked so well on Lorenz to the point that he willing to even give up someone he loves if they happen to be a commoner. Lorenz spends a lot of time trying to ‘interview’ girls to find his perfect noble bride, coming off as a bit on an ass – even when he’s confronted by Byleth he refuses to believe he’s done anything wrong since this is what his father taught him to do. It takes a long time until Lorenz starts seeing that he is wrong that what his father taught him is wrong. He starts using his own head and his own eyes to determine what is instead of using the opinion blasted into him by his father. He’s always trying to help other, feeling it’s his obligation as a noble to help those around him, which is a quality that he alone seems to take seriously (despite the school being filled with nobles). He originally dislikes Claude cause he believes that Claude isn’t taking his responsibility as the next Alliance head seriously since Claude is so laid back. He eventually comes to see that, despite appearances, Claude is working on the issues and is capable. His S support with Byleth where he mentions how he has "worked tirelessly to improve" "to become a man truly worthy of (Byleth)" and then is uttely shocked if Byleth tells him he already was worthy shows how dedicated he can be. With Ignatz, he instills confidence in him, seeing talent in Ignatz for art and talking about how there is more to knighthood than combat. His poetry writing comes out with Manuela’s supports and he convinces Hilda through actions to actually throw herself into battle. But I think his best supports are with Marianne. The vast majority of her supports are the others telling her to “be more confident” or “smile more” or other such things where they give her advice on how to improve...but Lorenz is the only one who comes to see that nothing needs to change. He starts by complementing her and then commenting on how she “needs polish” only to realize he was wrong and state she is “becautiful just the way she is”, accepting her fully for who she is without looking to change a thing. He is, essentially, telling her she is perfect the way she is and she doesn’t need to change at all for him to love her...which I find just so utterly sweet.

#2 – Edelgard

Edel gets a lot of hate but I honestly love her character so much. Edelgard is a doer not someone who sits by and does nothing. Due to things outside of her (and her father’s) control, she would up the victim in an experiment, a experiment that killed all of her siblings. Edelgard alone survived although at a cost. That experience forever changed her. Gone was the child and in her place rose Lady Edelgard. Unlike Lysithia who is dealing with her similar situation by trying to provide for her family before her time runs out, Edelgard isn’t. Her goal is the destruction of the circumstances that caused the experiment as well as those who caused the experiment to happen upon her so that this cannot happen again to anyone else. Since the experiment were done to give crests and since Edelgard has obviously seen how some children are treated whent hey have / do not have one, she aims to destroy all of that. Edelgard is literally stomping her foot down and saying ‘no, this isn’t a good or fair system and I’m not going to stand around and let it continue’. She’s willing to sacrifice everything to attain this goal, even if it turns her into a monster or ends in her death. Instead of waiting for the world to change, Edelgard decides to BE the change. She knows she’s going to be responsible for the deaths of a lot of people and she clearly struggles with the idea of this but in the end she decides that if she does nothing than that number will be greater so she persists. She burries her desire for friends and for love because she can’t bring herself to trust or rely on others – her father loved her but couldn’t protect her; the nobles in her father’s court are resonsible for hurting her too. They had her trust and they betrayed it. Her heart has been broken already; I don’t think she wants to risk it breaking again by trusting someone who will betray her, by making friends who can abandon her, by falling in love with someone who doesn’t understand what she’s doing. In CF when you side with Edelgard, you get to see more of that emotion slowly come out. Think on the PTS reunions: Dimitri was in disbelief and then apathetic that Byleth was alive; Claude was slightly surprised but then glad; Edelgard though broke down. Edelgard was the only one to get so emotional over Byleth’s return – someone she had trusted whom had returned that trust wasn’t dead after all; there wasn’t another corpse to add to the pile of people she cared for. And in that final animatic where Byleth falls – she’s clearly so upset. She’s crying, clearly devistated. Devistation which turns into laughter when Byleth revives because she can’t believe it. I stand by my opinion that Crimson Flower is the canon ending for FE3H. It’s the only ending where the endings song is different; all 3 other paths have the same song “Edge of Dawn” but not CF – you get something different. Add to that that EoD is sung by Edelgard. And let’s not forget the symbolism. The game is Fire Emblem. What’s a fire emblem? Crest of Flames. Who posess this crets out of the main cast: Byleth & Edelgard. And in CF you unite. Also notice the same letters. Crimson Flower (CF) & Crest of Flames (CF). That’s not a coincidence.

#1 – Seteth

I honestly could fill pages on why I love Seteth as a character but for here I’ll try and keep it shortish. I’ll start with his supports. Seteth’s supports are all about his advice to the others and him trying to guide them. For Cyril, he’s talking about how it’s great to repay debts but it is also important to consider one’s future as well; he doesn’t want to see Cyril just waste his whole life in servitude to Rhea but rather to grow into his own. With Catherine, it’s concern over her safety, over how she throws herself into battle without care for the consequences. For Manuela, it starts with a lecture over her drinking habits but turns into something far more personal when his wife and daughter get mentioned. Outside of the paralogue, this is the only time an outside person gets to learn that Seteth even had/has a wife and daughter and it’s Manuela who gets told it, implying a deeper friendship. Hannerman’s involves his investiagtion of Seteth’s crest and how Seteth is constantly refuting him, obviously trying to protect himself and Flayn from others finding out the truth. With Leonie, he teaches her how to relax while fishing while she improves his own skills in the area. For Hilda, he’s trying to improve her work ethic first by confronting her about her excuses, and then by writing a story about her laziness...which does work somewhat as it gets her to work on illustrations. For Ingrid, he’s a voice of reason about the demands of her father and he’s the one who suggests that Ingrid simply talk to him about her issues, something which she didn’t consider. For Felix, he’s trying to help Felix realize his beliefs are holding him back and that he needs to make friends. With Bernie, he helps her build some confidence in her own skills and talents. And of course we can’t forget his interactions with Flayn where he goes from overly protective, to realizing he’s a bit too overbearing, to actual apologizing for that. Seteth acts as a conduit or a spark that helps inspire change in those around him, to wake up potential, or to see things differently. He’s strict and often seems somewhat unreasonable about rules and regulations but its obvious this is his way of trying to protect people. He’s shouldering massive guilt over the events that happened in the last war. He personally blames himself for Flayn being hurt and for his wife dying. This event spurred him on to becoming overprotective of his daughter, of the only thing he had left. Seteth is doing what he’s doing to PROTECT his child (unwilling to see her to come to harm), even if he’s going about it in the incorrect way. He has literally devoted his whole life to protecting Flayn to the point that when she gets kidnapped, he falls apart at the seams and is unable to do anything at all except despair and distress. Flayn has become his whole world and just about everything Seteth does is to protect her or help her. That kind of devotion from a father is incredible, especially in a series where most of the parents kinda suck. I also adore how he breaks the typical “paper-skinned mage” trope. Let’s face it, most of us probably thought the stern chuch advisor was likely going to be a mage – and then we get a wyvern rider with a lance. I could go on and on, but I’ll leave it here. Seteth is just the best character.

...this was 18 pages of writing.....

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elliepassmore · 6 years ago

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A Court of Mist and Fury Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: fantasy, Fae, vague retellings, Persephone & Hades, found families At the start of the book, we're back in the Spring Court, though some things have changed since Feyre brought Amarantha down. For starters, there's a lot more people around than there were in the first one. We get to see a bit what court life is like in Spring and the kinds of people who reside there. They turn out to be pretty similar to what we'd think of when we think of snobby human nobility, so, naturally, they grate on Feyre's nerves. Unlike ACoTaR, we also get to see two of the other courts: the Night Court and the Summer Court. The Night Court is...definitely not what it was set up to be in the first book. Not to give too many spoilers, but it has two faces. One side, Velaris and the moonstone palace, is luxurious and vibrant, but peaceful. The other side, Hewn City, is dark and cunning and cruel, the side that Amarantha modeled her domain after. I really enjoyed seeing the stark differences between the two sides of the court, especially since they provide us with two kinds of cities, both beautiful in their own ways, but so completely different from one another. We also get to see a part of the court that's somewhere between the two, which is the Illyrian camps. The camps are mostly tents with a few stone buildings, and they fit more with the cunning and darkness of the Hewn City, but not nearly as cruel. Seeing so much of the one court definitely helps get a better grasp on the feel and nature of the place, which I really liked. The other court we see is the Summer Court, and only for a couple of chapters. Similar to Velaris, we get to see a city in the Summer Court that's vibrant, with the people there enjoying their High Lord's presence and aid in recovery. Unlike Velaris, the city feels more light. It definitely has the feel of a city on the sea in a way that Velaris doesn't, despite it also being located on the water. They have obviously different feels and tones to them, and I liked the subtle details Maas added to make these cities different despite their similarities. We also get to learn a bit more about the traditions of Prythia in this one as well. Having seen Calanmai and Nynsar in the first one, we now get to see the solstice and the Tithe of the Spring Court, as well as Starfall in the Night Court. Each holiday has its own background and their introduction through Feyre feels natural. I think there's a tricky balance when it comes to authors introducing world building to their readers and characters. Adding the information too obviously makes it feel forced, but including too little information too subtly can make it confusing. I think we get a good balance here, with Feyre having the holidays/events explained to her as they're happening or having her give a little info and brushing off the rest as "I wasn't really paying attention," the latter of which can only really be accepted because of her state of mind at the moment the holiday is occurring, but it works.

The plot amps things up a lot. If we thought Amarantha was bad, Hybern turns out to be so much worse, and they’re cunning enough to get their claws in in places we wouldn’t expect. I love how the tension was built up over the pages and there were times of ‘wtf is going on’ sprinkled throughout. Since the main showdown wasn’t until the end of the book, most of it was spent strategizing and hoping against hope that things would go right for once.

In terms of Feyre's state of mind, Maas once again does a brilliant job of showing the different ways people deal with trauma and depression. Feyre, for one, definitely has symptoms of PTSD--nightmares, triggers, feeling trapped, needing a distraction, inability to do things that once brought her joy, apathy--as well as, separately, symptoms of depression. She starts out having a pretty rough time and the switch to healing happens gradually and over months at a time, so despite her body's quick healing, Feyre isn't completely better until near the end of the book, and 'better' doesn't necessarily mean 100% okay. I especially enjoyed how Maas showed Feyre changing as she healed, because, let's face it, we're probably all aware (and it you're not, you're about to be) that trauma changes people and that, equally, healing from said trauma can also change a person. Both of these things hold true for Feyre, so she isn't the same person at the beginning of the book as she was at the end of the last one, and she's not the same person at the end of this book as she is at the beginning of it. In terms of healing, we also get to see Feyre separating from the mentality of abuse that Tamlin had her in. For physical growth, Feyre discovers she holds powers from each of the High Lords who gave her life, and it's super fun to read the scenes where she's training/experimenting with them (like most people who've read the book, I'm especially partial to the water-wolves scene). Tamlin is another character who has to deal with his trauma in this one...though maybe we should accept now that just about every character in this book has trauma they're healing/have healed from. Anyway, Tamlin desperately tried to protect Feyre in the first book, and we saw how jealous and possessive he could get, but what happened with Amarantha just pushed him overboard. He's now 1ox worse than in the first book, and basically smothers Feyre trying to keep her safe, continually triggering her PTSD and leading to the events leading into Part 2 of the book. What I like about this is that there were signs in ACoTaR that Tamlin could very easily turn into an abusive person and a lot of people ignored them or fell into the trap of believing them to be romantic--I'm not saying everyone did, but a lot of people definitely did, myself included--so his attitude and behavior doesn't come from nowhere. It's a good example of how trauma causes different people to react differently, though it's not an excuse, especially when Tamli does some pretty terrible things in this book and tries to play it off as "it was rough" or "I love you" or whatever else he says. We get to see more of Rhysand in this book, as well as more of his court. As previously mentioned, he's one of the many characters dealing with his own traumas from Under the Mountain, and we get an explanation for his actions in ACoTaR, proving he wasn't just being a massive dick to be a massive dick, but to protect people and to help Feyre bring Amarantha down without Amarantha knowing. Knowing he was against Amarantha the entire time adds a rape/sexual assault element to his servicing her Under the Mountain, which is addressed by both him and Feyre during the book. It's clear he has trauma from that, it's expressed multiple times throughout the book, and Maas handles the situation well. It isn't romanticized or trivialized, and his reservations and trauma from it are considered valid and aren't brushed aside or made fun of. Rhys ends up being a very complex character, with different sides to him, much like how his court has many different sides. He has the cunning, cruel side he shows to Hewn City; the relaxed, kind side he shows to Velaris; the warrior he shows to the Illyrians; and the caring and friendly side he gives to his Inner Court alone. Inside Rhys' Inner Court are Mor, Cassian, Azriel, and Amren. Mor is his cousin in that loose sense that Maas has when it comes to cousins being related, and grew up in Hewn City. She's funny, acts irreverent, and fun-loving. She's willing to give people the space they need, but she's also willing to go to the mat for her family or push them when they need it. Like Feyre and Rhysand, she's survived darkness and trauma and came out the other side, though her healing was done centuries ago. Cassian and Azriel are both Illyrian warriors Rhysand befriended when they were kids. Cassian is fiery and pushes, but is unceasingly caring and would do anything for his family. He's the jokster of the group, definitely. Azriel is the more quiet of the two, the spymaster, and has a quieter method of caring for his family. Amren is a creature from another world who took the form of a High Fae. She's a bit scary, definitely otherworldly, and is surprisingly understanding about what others need in order to get things done. I wouldn't say she's caring, but she definitely cares for her family and people. We don't really see a lot of Lucien, but when he is around he mostly acts like Tamlin's lackey and not Feyre's friend. Nesta and Elain are in this book a bit more than the last one, and play a pretty crucial role in the middle and the end of the book. I liked the both of them by the time the last book ended, but Nesta's reactions toward Feyre and the rest of the Night Court made me dislike her a little, though her sparring with Cassian was hilarious and I treasure their interactions. Likewise, both Elaine and Nesta showed fire when it came to protecting each other and their people from the looming threat of Hybern. Tarquin, the High Lord of the Summer Court, makes a reappearance in this one too, along with some of his still-living family members. He seems like a decent enough guy, new to the whole ruling thing, but as he himself says, he hasn't quite learned the cunning tricks and backstabbery that High Lords and their courts often employ. This one's my favorite book in the series because we get to see more of the world of Prythia and we get to meet a lot of new, pretty awesome characters. I love the Inner Circle, they all fit together so well and have different methods and ways of doing things, but it works. I also really like the Feyre and Rhys we see in this book, so different from the ones we saw in the last book, but better for it. And Tamlin....when I first heard that he and Feyre were having issues(*SPOILER* and wouldn't end up together*END SPOILER*) I was disappointed, but after I read the book for the first time, I liked how it worked out much better. It’s a vague Persephone and Hades retelling, which may or may not have something to do with why I like it so much. The P&H myth has so many different renditions from ancient times to now and it hasn’t really been all that explored by YA fiction, so I love whenever there’s a nod to it somewhere, and if you know the more popular versions of the myth, there are more than sprinkles of it in the frame of the book. Honestly though, I think this is the best book in the series. ACoTaR was good, ACoWaR was pretty good too but with an...odd ending, and ACoFaS was an awesome bit of fluff, but this one is the richest in characters, world building, and plot.

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summerseachild · 6 years ago

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Summersea’s GoT Season 4 Rewatch 2019

Otherwise known as: “The Long Slow Slide to D and D Running Out of Material from the Books”

4x01:

1. The visuals of Ice getting melted down are SO PRETTY (while RoC plays on the background 😎 living my best Lannister Life over here.)

2. Jaime getting the sword and trying NOT to be Lord of Casterly Rock and HOLY SHIT TELLING TYWIN NO and getting away with it.

3. Tyrion is trying so hard to greet the Dornish politely... poor guy.

4. It’s pride month so I’m just pointing out that Oberyn is soooo biiiii and This Bi Girl loves him. And him playing with the flame and Ellaria trying to stop him from killing the Lannister who insulted him... I just love their dynamic.

5. Drogon is just a big happy dragon-Cat and in Dany’s first appearance of this season. He PURRS.

6. I love Jaime and Cersei’s scene with Jaime’s new hand. They snipe at each other, but it is SO how they interact.

7. Jon and Sansa reacting to Robb’s death :(

8. GUESS WHO DID NOT MISS JANOS SLYNT OR ALLISER THORNE AT ALL THATS RIGHT MEEEE. Also Alliser is Peter Knox in a Discovery of Witches so I just HATE HIS FACE.

9. TREAT THAT BOOK MORE CAREFULLY JOFFREY YOU LITTLE SHIT and treat your uncle more nicely too. Jaime looks a little taken aback at what a little turd his oldest has become, but handles it well I think.

10. Jaime and Brienne trying to sort out how to keep his vow to Catelyn 🤣

11. YES ARYA GET NEEDLE BACK. Also Sandor being like NO CHILD COME BACK HERE DO NOT RUSH INTO DANGER WITHOUT ME is precious.

12. Sandor Clegane saying FUCK THE KING gives me such satisfaction

13. I should not be so happy about Arya re-enacting the time when Polliver

14. But I am happy that Sandor got his chickens

4x02

1. So I had forgotten that the girls who were in the scene where Theon gets cut are Myranda and the girl Ramsay is hunting later. I remembered how much I hate the Myranda thing real quick, though.

2. I love Tyrion being understanding of Jaime’s disability because HE WOULD BE. Also Tyrion pouring wine on the table to be like “look spilling is no big deal” is PRECIOUS.

3. Bronn knocking Jaime around while sparring is a great source of joy to me.

4. Theon finds out that Robb is dead when he’s got a RAZOR TO RAMSAY’S THROAT I can’t with Alfie’s face.

5. Every time I see Joffrey chop that book in half I want the purple wedding to be right now.

6. Tyrion trying to make Shae leave :...(

7. KEEP AWAY FROM SHIREEN, RED WOMAN, said Davos probably a lot

8. Question: why don’t the direwolves being food BACK to the hungry humans? Especially when Bran can warg into them?

9. So I want to go through every frame of that vision Bran has with the weirwood because the one we haven’t seen before is a Dragons over King’s Landing. Those ARE THE ROOFS YOU SEE IN THE NEXT SHOT FOR THE WEDDING.

10. Haha oh right this IS the purple wedding ep ooops I’d almost forgot. Not sorry for wishing death on Joffrey but sorry for Cersei’s sake and everyone else it fucks over.

11. Loras having eye sex with Oberyn cracks me up I mean they both have eyes and good gaydar... (bi-dar? queer-dar?)

12. Is Margaery... flirting with Brienne? Or is that just Margaery’s personality?

13. JAIME’S FACE when he sees Brienne and Cersei talking is SO FUNNY he’s like shit shit shit DANGER

14. What did Qyburn DO for Cersei that she is recommending to other women? She told him symptoms were gone in a previous ep in a weird mysterious way... did he help her end a pregnancy?? How long has it BEEN since Blackwater? This never comes back again but I’m super curious.

15. Oberyn has zero chill around Tywin and I love it.

16. Margaery looking like she is is going to murder someone during the war of the five Kings show is A Mood. (I mean... there IS about to be a murder.)

17. I don’t think the Tyrells planned it but Joffrey being a shit and making Tyrion touch his wine goblet and SANSA TOUCHING IT TOO played right into their hands.

4x03: oh brother here comes altar sex

1. I want very much for Hector Barbossa to be waiting at the top of that ladder for Sansa after approaching the ship and the creepy fog. But no it’s Petyr Baelish. Ew.

2. Hello new Tommen! Good to see you again after Karstark killed your identical cousin! Also Tywin being like GOOD KINGS ARE SMART AND LISTEN TO THEIR SMART ADVISORS. (That moment when a sitting US president needs to listen to Tywin. Scary?)

3. Altar sex has not aged well for me. I’m not a J/C shipper who thinks they’ve got a healthy relationship that’s all sunshine and kitties. I know the two of them have a messed up dynamic, but this scene misses the mark in so many ways and I hate it. I wish they would have left it out rather than done it wrong. (Also I think it was a tryout for me for “can you get a valonqar scene right?” And the answer was a resounding NO.)

4. Speaking of healthy relationships though Sam and Gilly are cute and sweet and awkward and everything that is good and pure in this world.

5. And so is Davos telling Shireen about his smuggling adventures.

6. Oberyn sat his beautiful self right in the middle of the Kinsey scale and said THE VIEW IS GREAT HERE. What an icon. Also offering Tywin fricking Lannister a seat on the bed where you were just having sex with like FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE was A Move.

7. Tywin TELLS OBERYN ABOUT DANY and Oberyn looks like this is the first he’s heard of it.

8. Tyrion saying goodbye to Pod gave me a decent sized lump in my throat.

9. Daario taking down the Champion Of Meereen with one thrown dagger and one slash of a sword is sexy as fuck and I don’t care who knows I think so.

4x04

1. Missandei teaching Grey Worm and just hanging out with him is so important to me this time around.

2. Jaime and Bronn are weird friends and I kind of love it.

3. The Kingslayer Brothers: coming soon to a stage near you. I’d buy that band’s shirt.

4. Olenna Tyrell is a STONE COLD LADY and I love that about her. She protected her granddaughter and I respect that.

5. That is A LOT OF WINE IN THAT GLASS Cersei my love. Also Jaime TRYING to convince her Tyrion didn’t do it hurts me. He loves them both so much, but they all hurt each other.

6. Ser Pounce is a big fluff like my Freya!

7. OATHKEEPER AND THE WHITE BOOK AND THE ARMOR. Brienne’s face is so pure when he gives it to her.

8. I had near forgotten all of this stuff at the wall with Olly and Jon and the cannibals and the mutineers at Craster’s and waiting for Mance’s army. (We know where my heart is though, don’t we...)

9. SIT DOWN LOCKE. I forgot that human shitstain showed up at the wall looking for Bran.

10. We didn’t need the mutineer plot. What did it add? What did we learn about the world or its people? Nothing we didn’t already know. What. Was. The. Point. We’d already seen the walkers and knew about the babies, we knew the world was violent and classist. WE KNEW.

11. I love when Summer is like HELLO BROTHER GHOST OH NO A TRAP

12. The white walker riding across the frozen lake... what a gorgeous image, and the ice henge...

13. WHAT DO THE BLUE EYED ICE BABIES GROW UP TO BEEEEE DO WE EVEN KNOW

4x05

1. I’d say long live King Tommen, but I’d cry.

2. Cersei is beauty she is grace she wants to punch Margaery in the face. (But actually is acting like she might need Margaery to help Tommen? That scene was hard to read.)

3. Meereen has a lot of cool geometrical carvings.

4. Dany thinking about what kind of ruler she wants to be and what responsibilities she has to the people she freed? THAT IS WHO SHE IS, D AND D YOU DICKS.

5. Sansa’s like “greeeeeaaaaat another creepy little kid” when she meets Robin.

6. And Lysa lets it ALL OUT about what Petyr has had her do... wow.

7. Cersei is going along with the Tyrell marriages way too easily what is her game.

8. Tywin is... almost treating his daughter like someone he can trust and have a conversation with? What is this?

9. And then there’s the stupidity about the mines running out. Wtf.

10. Arya is a little drama queen with saying the Hound’s name last while HE WAS LISTENING.

11. Lysa is SO DAMAGED. Poor Sansa.

12. Aw Brienne you don’t know what a loyal kid you’ve got in Podrick give him a chance.

13. Arya practicing water dancing is so cool.

14. Cersei and Oberyn talking is actually really interesting. And they talk about Myrcella :....( and Oberyn is TELLING THE TRUTH about her being happy.

15. Cersei got her A BOAT for her birthday because she LIKES THE OPEN WATER I had forgotten that and I am freaking out for fic reasons because of fics I haven’t written yet that involve Myrcella being good at boats.

16. Geez Pod I don’t know how to skin a rabbit but I know you need to before you cook it. And... does Brienne actually need help with that armor, or does she realize Pod needs to feel useful? I’m going with the second.

17. I had forgotten how creepy Jojen’s visions were.

18. Bran warging into Hodor and killing Locke is... problematic, but Bran had every reason to think Locke was going to kill him. Good fucking riddance.

19. Jon being happy to see Ghost XD

20. So... there’s just a troop of Crasters daughters out there still? Idek.

4x06 the laws of gods and men (and by men we mean Tywin)

1. Braavos is so pretty! I love her. I love her canals, I love the Titan, I love the domes, I just love her.

2. I remember when people lost their shit over Mark Gattis being in this episode. He is quite good here, and Davos is quite clever.

3. Salador’s joke about the red shirt is FUNNY and I’m not afraid to say so.

4. No one wants to see Ramsay having sex.

5. EVERYONE wants to see Yara giving a great speech.

6. She... ran from some dogs when she was burying her axe in dudes’ GUTS five seconds earlier? LAAAAAAME. Yes yes she also saw how fucked up in the head Theon was (more awards Alfie deserved and didn’t get), and she did want to lose any more people when he wasn’t willing to come but the way this was cut it reads like she was all OH NO DOGS which is the stupidest thing ever.

7. NOOOO POOR GOATS. I get that dragons have to eat though...

8. I cannot believe Dany didn’t take the time to FIND OUT WHICH MEEREENESE WERE LESS TERRIBLE. They would have been fucking allies. BUT NO LET’S JUST CRUCIFY PEOPLE WITH NO IDEA OF THE NUANCES OF THE LOCAL SITUATION. What stupidity.

9. At least she’s trying to learn??? She’s so small on that throne in a huge room. What a great shot.

10. Oberyn is a bisexual who CANNOT SIT IN A CHAIR NORMALLY. I am not complaining.

11. I cannot see the scene of Jaime and Tyrion walking down into the courtroom for the trial without giggling at the memory of the outtake where they dance like dorks into the room and down the aisle.

12. Jaime looking at Tyrion like YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOURSELF is a mood.

13. How did they get the poison necklace? Didn’t Littlefinger throw it in the Blackwater FAR off shore? A bit AFTER he killed Dontos? How does Pycelle have it here? Maybe they washed up together? Maybe D and D forgot Petyr tossed it in the bay? WHO KNOWS???

14. Jaime trying to convince Tywin one last time and offering to leave the kingsguard in exchange for Tyrion HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HE DID THAT. Cersei never would have spoken to him again if he’d left her and married and gone back to the Rock and given Tywin what he wanted. Jaime KNEW he was screwing over a relationship that means SO MUCH TO HIM but it’s TYRION’S LIFE we’re talking about here. That’s how much he loves his little brother.

15. Tywin is like DONE so fast Jaime barely gets the offer out lol

16. And it all would have worked if Shae hadn’t walked through those doors.

17. Do we know WHY Shae agreed to testify to this? What did Tywin offer her or threaten her with?

18. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LITTLE BRO WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS?! is Jaime’s face all the time this scene.

19. Tyrion’s “confession”is such a piece of acting wow Peter enjoy your Emmys.

4x07

1. Jeez Tyrion didn’t know Jaime COULDN’T save him. He had no idea that losing his hand had affected his abilities that badly. That... hurts.

2. Arya, Sandor, and the dying farmer is such a great scene... And Arya only killing that asshole only after Sandor learns his name for her so she knows the name of the man she’s killing.... A++ would watch again.

3. Everyone LISTEN TO JON he has seen things none of you have.

4. Tyrion finding out Bronn has been bought is so very upsetting but I love this scene.

5. But really though once Tywin named The Mountain champion, anyone who Tyrion asks to be his champion at this point he’s basically asking to die.

6. Dany’s like “well I guess fucking Daario isn’t going to cause a political disaster at least.”

7. I had forgotten how fascinating Selyse and Melisandre’s interactions are.

8. IS THAT SETTING UP BURNING SHIREEN FUCK THAT.

9. Dany is capable of nuanced thought when it comes to innocence and guilt of whole groups of people and WE JUST SAW IT with how Jorah changes her mind and I’m JUST SO ANGRY.

10. That is the only time we get the story of Sandor and the fire from his own mouth and I did not mean to be this moved.

11. Hot Pie talking about food (oh yeah and Arya) is so precious. And now I want steak and kidney pie. With gravy.

12. “Using honest feelings to do dishonest work is one of her greatest talents.” The truest thing Tyrion has ever said about Cersei.

13. What a great snow castle. Too bad Joffrey part 2 knocked it down.

14. Ew ew ew Petyr kissing Sansa is so skeevy and gross.

15. “A great deal might change between now and never” is a great line though.

16. I hate Petyr but it’s good he pushed Lysa out the Moon Door before she killed Sansa.

4x08

1. Jon and Co all reminding Sam that Gilly is a survivor is so great. Brotherhood at its best.

2. Missandei and Grey Worm are young people with old souls and their relationship is precious to me.

3. Alfie is SO GOOD at showing how deeply Ramsay has him under his control even when he’s alone with the Ironborn.

4. Petyr is part Braavosi? Fascinating.

5. Sansa TOLD the Lords of Vale who she was??? Her testimony is such a good bit of acting on Sansa’s part. It’s a lie hidden in a lot of truth, and she was QUICK to think it through and come up with it.

6. Jorah telling Dany about the pardon is a scene that breaks my heart. 💔 She is HARSH here but I love the full blown Targaryen on display.

7. Roose being like TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE like the Lion King cracks me up so hard.

8. I will never give Ramsay the Bolton name in anything I write as long as I am a fan of this show out of pure hatred. He is Ramsay Snow forever and always.

9. I remember I was so worried that they were going to have Petyr try to sexually assault Sansa. OH I WAS A SWEET SUMMER CHILD.

10. Arya laughing at the news of Lady Arryn’s Death is an immensely human reaction and I love that she just CANNOT STOP.

11. I know people hated that scene with Jaime and Tyrion talking about beetles but I have two takeaways: first, a septon tried to touch Jaime once???? Headcanon: Little Jaime looked that septon dead in the eye and said “my father wouldn’t like that” and it never happened again. The septon was summarily replaced. Second: Jaime has never thought about ANYTHING in his whole life as deeply as baby Tyrion thought about beetles.

12. Oberyn is so fun to watch fight and Jaime agrees with me.

13. You don’t need him to confess Oberyn really you don’t you GOT HIM my beautiful prince.

14. How did the Gods make their will known if BOTH champions killed each other dead, huh Tywin? (The Mountain is... less Dead?)

4x09

1. Sam mulling over the legalistic interpretation of their vows and Jon trying to explain what sex and love are like are both SO CUTE.

2. I love that everyone around that fire has heard the “Tormund fucked a bear” story and I’m kind of sorry Ygritte didn’t let him finish.

3. Maester Aemon revealing his Targaryen identity was lovely. Also Sam Cussing to get Gilly in the gate= AMAZING

4. Alliser Thorne ADMITTING HE WAS WRONG? I am dead of shock.

5. Sam and Pyp talking about fear and bravery is... so darling.

6. They have A GIANT RIDING A MAMMOTH and I will forgive a small amount of nonsense for giving me that image.

7. See Alliser looking at the horn blower like REALLY? IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF MY SPEECH? Before they realize it’s the horn at Castle Black is PRICELESS.

8. Speaking of which I may not like Alliser but he gives a good “let’s not die” speech.

9. Bless Grenn for getting Janos Slynt off the wall.

10. Pyp dying in Sam’s arms was not something I was ready for.

11. You’ve heard of horsepower... now get ready for MAMMOTH POWER (wildling used mammoth salesmen probably)

12. Sam remembering that being NICE to Olly when asking to go up the wall rather than just screaming at him is... telling.

13. Grenn is THE BEST KID AND I LOVE HIM

14. Ghost is going to EAT SOME WILDLINGS

15. Ygritte :...(

16. How is Tormund even ALIVE??? He’s like a frickin PIN CUSHION.

17. “They held the gate” is a line that will make me cry now. Grenn and co. Didn’t let that giant through :...(

3x10: back when D and D remembered the Children existed that one time

Also back when Jaime had a plan that didn’t end with ANY OF HIS FAMILY KILLING EACH OTHER BUT TYWIN ENDS UP DEAD ANYWAY WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS.

1. Jon deciding single-handedly that he’s going to KILL Mance Rayder. Boss move.

2. Oh FFS. Pull the stick out of your ass Stannis and let Mance be.

3. Qyburn is like “out of my way bitch I’m doing necromancy”

4. Cersei telling Tywin the truth to get out of Marrying Loras is... still... making my jaw drop and I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DO IT. And there’s ACTUAL EMOTION on Tywin’s face and EVERYTHING SHE SAYS ABOUT PAYING SOME REAL FUCKING ATTENTION TO HIS FAMILY IS TRUE

5. Ah yes “Jaime writes his family’s dialogue” part one. I CHOOSE YOU OMG AND SEX IN THE LORD COMMANDER’S OFFICE I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT THAT. Even if I’m still on the fence about whether Jaime would be ok with doing it THERE I’m mostly on board because she JUST TOLD DAD THE TRUTH AND TOLD HIM HE WAS THE ONE SHE WANTED AND I DON’T KNOW WHO LET THE SHIPPERS WRITE THIS SCENE BUT YAY.

6. Dany is still learning all kinds of nuance... I feel like the year contract thing was an attempt to balance her need to be a liberator and the reality on the ground?

7. You are telling me that the Dany who was that upset at Drogon eating ONE child let him burn a WHOLE CITY? I call bullshit.

8. Also this is a CLASSIC example of “one sibling does something wrong and the other two get punished for it” poor Viserion and Rhaegal.

9. Maester Aemon knows how to give a mass eulogy.

10. MEANWHILE NORTH OF THE NORTH HI BRAN meet the hugest weirwood in Westeros AND SOME ICE ZOMBIES

11. POOR MEERA I FORGOT SHE HAD TO HELP JOJEN DIE

12. If the children can do that WHERE ARE THEY LATER

13. holy shit bloodraven is creepy

14. Arya and Brienne meeting :) so cute

15. And Sandor being like YOU ARE TOO NAIVE TO PROTECT HER is cute in its own way.

16. Wow Brienne and Sandor really knock the shit out of each other how are they still alive.

17. Sandor saying awful things to Arya to make it easier for her to kill him was tragic and you can see the desperation in his eyes even as he says the worst of it.

18. JAIME LANNISTER MAKES DECISIONS HE WILL REGRET LATER LIKE NOT GOING ALL OF THE WAY TO THE BOAT WITH TYRION

19. I Had forgotten how rough that last conversation between Tywin and Tyrion was and how devastating those performances are.

20. Varys being like oh fuck those bells I’m going too... prescient.

21. Love the music with Arya on the ship to Braavos!

#summersea has feels about got #summersea got rewatch 2019

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paulisweeabootrash · 6 years ago

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First Impression: That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

I started writing up this review with the intent of shelving it for this year's end-of-year cleanup (yup, I intend to make that a yearly thing), but the more I watched, the more I felt it deserved a longer writeup. Especially given how popular and well-received it was, because frankly I don't think it lives up to the hype. So shapeshift into a more comfortable form as we talk about...

...That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime (2018)

Episodes watched: 14.

Platform: Crunchyroll.

The victim of a freak stabbing, a nice but forever-single 37-year-old has his dying thoughts — from wishing he weren’t feeling pain to wishing he could have a shot with many women in his next life — granted as wishes by a mysterious voice. The voice turns out to be "Great Sage", a sort of... user interface(?) of a fantasy world that functions according to very RPG-like rules. Generic monsters vs. named human and humanoid heroes, powers that can be acquired and leveled up, that sort of thing. Those "granted wishes" come in the form of a new body, that of a slime, impervious to many things and able to absorb the abilities of other monsters by engulfing them, which he can apparently use either to literally eat them or to keep them alive “stored” inside him (which sounds... horrifying) — "analyzing" them using the Great Sage and gaining the use of their abilities in either case. Granted the name Rimuru by Veldora, a godlike dragon he befriends (and then eats in order to carry him around), our slimy protagonist goes out into the world to explore and fix other people's problems. Monsters, as we soon see in much more detail, typically have no names and minimal organization or skill, and once named, "evolve" into more powerful variants with not only superior strength but also the capacity to use superior magic and technology. It's an interesting mechanic/premise that really feels like it would be at home in an ancient etiological myth.

It starts off feeling very much like watching a pretty good adaptation of an RPG or maybe point-and-click adventure, as the plot progresses mainly via Rimuru using items and abilities he has incidentally acquired for unrelated reasons to stumble into and complete quests for other characters. It bounces wildly in tone from fantasy combat to ecchi to adorable wholesome content, and I assume at some point there will be some kind of confrontation with or followup on the human hero who imprisoned Veldora in the first place? But for the first five episodes, it's mostly "ooh what's this?" followed by a sort of self-imposed quest to create a goblin nation-state from the ground up by naming everyone, taming the dire wolves who are threatening the goblins, and importing technology from the aforementioned named humanoids. Then it takes an abrupt turn for the serious, laying on us three episodes of backstory about Shizu, a character who I can't really talk about at all without spoilers, but that short arc was engaging and resulted in Rimuru finally being able to take on a humanoid form, which turns out to be a great disguise in future episodes.

Meanwhile, the vague world conquest plans of majin (a term used here to refer to powerful humanoid magic-users) and demon lords having been taking shape in the background, as a vast orc army is steamrolling through every weaker group of monsters it can find. The next few episodes focus on a group of oni, ahem, ogres (but they’re totally traditional Japanese depictions of oni) who join Rimuru's village after their own is destroyed by the orcs and an underground civilization of lizardpeople who attempt, in a hilariously clumsily and overconfident way, to join forces with Rimuru's followers against the orcs. The oni are pretty great, especially Rimuru's secretary/bodyguard Shion and scout/diplomat/spy/whatever Souei, as is the unassuming goblin Gobta, who has frequently been the comic relief up to this point but becomes important to the looming conflict.

The lizardpeople/Rimuru-followers alliance is eventually formed and the show tries to make their war against the orcs epic and dramatic, but... here it largely fails. This arc is full of tedious repetitive exposition about the same characters and tedious repetitive exposition about the same characters and tedious repetitive exposition about the same characters and tedious repetitive exposition about the same characters, as if they expect the audience goes into every episode having forgotten the events of the previous episode and even several recurring characters' names. Add to this some sudden new abilities getting pulled out of Rimuru's and others' asses, increasingly frequent jarring tone shifts from scene to scene, combat scenes where everyone is stationary and stupid, and cap it all off with a "boss fight" that only gets started after some villainous exposition monologuing worthy of Dragon Ball Z and an exposition dump flashback about the orcs that raises more questions than it answers, and at this point I'm only still watching to find out where the hell it goes from here. This feels like a bad adaptation of a game now... but maybe a bad adaptation of a good game. Maybe it would work better, honestly, in RPG format. It's not like this doesn't have potential as a premise. But I don't get the hype, because I really don't think it lives up to it.

W/A/S: 4 / 5 / any random number 3–8, depending on episode / !

Weeb: Like I said about Death March, "not weeb so much as geek". But this is getting a higher weeb score than that because some basic elements (such as, uh, the main character himself) probably come off as really weird if you've never played any of the Dragon Quest (a.k.a. Dragon Warrior) games, which are responsible for the generic low-level slime monster we know today. Not to mention that this show's versions of orcs, ogres, and demons are more like depictions of those various races in other Japanese media than they are like the Germanic/Anglosphere/Tolkien-influenced fantasy canon.

Ass: Rimuru likes boobs. He likes to talk about them. He likes to cuddle up against them. He checks out everyone. He's... a sad old virgin. Expect gag boobs and gratuitous camera angles, but not all the way to anything sexually explicit.

Shit (writing): Again, it really does feel like we're watching Rimuru complete a series of quests or puzzles to advance through the predetermined areas of a game. Which is probably the point, but that doesn't work quite as well as a storytelling technique when the audience isn't actually figuring out how to complete those quests. The sudden tone shift for Shizu's three-episode story arc and the weird exposition dumps throughout feel like they're trying to cram a lot of source material into relatively few episodes and it's not going well — which is odd considering that they got a 24-episode season instead of the more typical 13. And considering that the source material has been going in some form or other for five years prior to the anime (it originated on Shōsetsuka ni Narō, the same self-publishing website responsible for a great deal of the last decade’s epidemic flourishing of isekai, including the above-mentioned Death March and Re:ZERO).

Shit (other): I like the character designs. And they did a great job in particular making Rimuru expressive despite not... uh... having a face. But the animation is sometimes embarrassingly bad, especially in action scenes — I swear, there was a fight at like 4fps at one point, the CG orc army is just painful to look at, and the "battles" between the orcs and lizardpeople are mostly just them staring at each other and then occasionally weakly thrusting a spear forward.

Content: Brief surprisingly violent shots, given the often-silly tone of the show.

-----

Stray observations:

- I said Rimuru pulled new abilities out of his ass, but... wait, do slimes have asses? Can he form a temporary ass, like a comb jelly?

- Rimuru is not only lusting after the various elf and oni women; he is also obviously attracted to Souei, one of the male oni, and this is not played as being surprising or gross or funny in-universe, so, uh... yay bi representation... I guess...

- PS: I continued watching (even though this is frustrating) past the episodes this review covers, and I just want to add that I hate the pegasus knights. Nobody had the sense to equip them with either ranged weapons or large melee weapons like lances. They just fly around with swords that wouldn't be able to reach their enemies unless they pull up right alongside them. This might make sense if they attempted a charge and attacked at point blank, which is the entire point of the distinctive cavalry saber, or maybe they could even dismount to fight on foot, and use the ability to fly for extreme maneuverability getting to a particular point on the battlefield? Nope. The closest they come to either of those tactics is to just fly leisurely towards Charybdis's open mouth without even unsheathing their swords in ep. 19. WTF? Look, I'm hardly a military expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I think these pegasus knights were dreamed up by someone who has only dimly heard of the concept of cavalry of any kind and hasn't spent more than a few seconds thinking about how you even can use horses in war, let alone bother to look up even a basic overview of how armies actually historically did.

#weeaboo trash #anime review #first impression review #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #disappointing bi representation

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965cchikudasai · 8 years ago

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Arslan Senki vol.16 (final book) - Detailed spoilers + illustrations

So I finished reading the book and here are some detailed spoilers about the deaths of some characters.

(Warning: NOVEL SPOILERS)

Jaswant

first victim (vol.16 actually starts with his death)

Arslan gave him the order to protect the women (Nasrin, Aiyar, Tus’ wives, Parizad, etc) and escort them to Sindhura

on their way to Sindhura he gets badly injured in a battle against Paripada (a Sindhuran general who was caught as a war prisoner by the Parsian army)

Jaswant arrives in Sindhura and asks King Rajendra to accept the refugees from Pars

Rajendra wants to refuse but gets convinced by his wife Salima (yes they married in vol.15)

Rajendra reluctantly agrees to accept the refugees

Jaswant dies from the injuries (p26)

Rajendra suddenly says “I always wanted him (Jaswant) [as my servant]...” and it suddenly turns out that Jaswant, Salima, Rajendra and Gadevi were all childhood friends (which is such an obvious ass-pull because in vol.3 it was clearly stated that neither Rajendra nor Gadevi knew Jaswant)

Jaswant’s last words (to Rajendra): “I am very grateful [that you accepted the refugees]. I will return to Pars as soon as possible and tell His Majesty Arslan how kind Your Majesty King Rajendra and Your Highness Queen Salima w-... (*dies before completing his sentence*)”

what I don’t like about this: 1) Jaswant’s death was totally pointless, 2) Jaswant wanted to stay by Arslan’s side but had to leave Pars because Arslan gave him the fucking order to escort the women to Sindhura, 3) the only person who was at Jaswant’s side when he died was Rajendra (and Salima in the background) wtf Jaswant didn’t deserve this, if anything, he deserved to die in Arslan’s arms, 4) When Jofanes reports about Jaswant’s death to Arslan, he (*Jofanes) adds a little joke wtf (it pissed me off because I wasn’t in the mood for any kind of humour in that moment :/).

Bruhan

dies in a duel against Merlaine (p47)

Arslan “I don’t want to see someone who is tied up to be killed. So if you wish, you can choose someone and challenge them to a duel.” (wtf????) → Merlaine volunteers and he kills Bruhan in a ‘fair’ duel

last words: “How did my brother [Jimsa] die?” [Kishward answers: “He died as a general of Pars.”]

Lucian

killed by Grugan (p74)

his death was absolutely meaningless and redundant

last words (to his nephew): “My nephew, please take care of His Majesty Arslan... He is too gentle... I am very worried about that...”

Grugan

Elam kills him with only one fucking arrow (p75)

Guiscard

Merlaine and Farangis’ arrows hit his chest (p92)

last words: “I won’t die... I won’t die... I won’t die...!!”

most pathetic death scene

inconsistency: In one of the earlier volumes it was mentioned in the narrative part that Guiscard later becomes the founder of the “Kerfanis dynasty” in Maryam but in this volume it turned out that he had no children lmao

also the whole battle against Maryam concludes within 8 fucking pages

Tahamine & Leyla

Zahhak (who possessed Andragoras’ body) orders her to come with him to put pressure on Arslan

Tahimine refuses saying “I did something bad to Arslan. Now that I think, I used to hate on him even though he didn’t anything wrong.” (wow she realised it just now???)

Zahhak is like “Okay, then die” and kills her (p.126)

last words (to Leyla): “Leyla... Leyla... please call me your mother...“

Leyla

she’s beheaded by Zahhak right after Tahamine was killed (p.126)

Parafuda

dies in a battle against Zahhak and his troops (p136)

manages to beat one of the snakes on Zahhak’s shoulders but dies from the poison of the snakes

last words (to Farangis): “Please tell *Parizad [*his wife] that she was a great woman...”

Fitna

Gieve’s arrow hits her on her forehead and she dies (p144)

no last words

the most ridiculous thing about this is that Gieve beat the whole troop of Misr all by himself (within 1 page lmao)

I mean was Fitna, or rather the whole story about Misr, really necessary for the plot in the first place??

Kubard

dies in a duel against Ilterish (they kill each other at the same time)

he’s actually the only character whose death was depicted in a somewhat detailed and dramatic way (p162)

last words: “That’s about it, I guess.”

Isfan

the most ridiculous death in this volume (p163)

no last words

he’s attacked by the sorcerer and dies from the toxic gas/liquid (what the hell???) the sorcerer splashed on him (literally, that’s all what was written in the novel)

WTF????????

???????????????????

Sorcerer

Arslan gets outraged when he heard about Isfan’s death and challenges him to a duel (wtf)

Arslan “I will avenge Isfan!! I can’t leave it like this! I need to kill him [the sorcerer] with my own hands!”

And now I present you the most ridiculous conversation in this volume which goes as follows:

Sorcerer: You are a coward! If it wasn’t for the holy sword Rukhnabad, you wouldn’t even try to fight me!

Arslan: Okay, if you wish, I won’t use Rukhnabad to fight you. But you have to promise that you don’t use any magical power, either, okay?

WTF (it sounds like a children’s quarrel)

Arslan kills the sorcerer with Rukhnabad (p167)

again: WTF

Merlaine

manages to beat one of the snakes on Zahhak’s shoulders with his arrow

he’s surrounded by Zahhak’s troops and is badly injured, but still continues to fight bravely

but then he gets beheaded by Zahhak (p170)

no last words

Zahhak (to Merlaine): “Out of you all humans, you were the bravest brat”

Merlaine gets praised by the Snake King! What a honour wooooow

yes I’m super salty

Kishward

manages to beat both snakes on Zahhak’s shoulders with his two swords

but is killed by Zahhak (p173)

last words: “Your Majesty... Nasrin... Aiyar”

he was one of the major characters and appeared since vol.1 (1986)

number of pages Tanaka dedicated to the depiction of his death: 1 page

Tanaka are you fucking serious

Hilmes

dies in a duel against Daryun (p177)

last words: “I’m now coming to see you, Irina...”

Hilmes was one of the main characters

he was the antagonist of this series

number of pages Tanaka dedicated to the depiction of his battle against Daryun: 3 pages

Tanaka are you really fucking serious

also ridiculous conversation part2

Hilmes: You are the only one who might be able to kill me, Daryun.

Daryun: I won’t kill you. I will capture you alive and drag you before His Majesty Arslan. And you will kneel down before him and apologise for all you’ve done.” → then kills Hilmes

Arslan: You killed Lord Hilmes. How brave of you.

Daryun: He wanted to die. I just helped him out with that.

??????????

??????????????????

Daryun

fights Zahhak

manages to kill the two snakes on Zahhak’s shoulders but gets stabbed in his chest and dies

Zahhak (to Arslan): “He was the strongest out of all humans I’ve ever met.”

woooow Zahhak praised him yesss!! (*pure saltiness*)

at least he died in Arslan’s arms

last words (to Arslan): “I was truly happy to be able to served you”

number of pages Tanaka dedicated to depict the battle and death of one of the most popular characters of the series: 2.5 pages (*note: it’s 2 and a half pages, and not 25 pages)

Arslan

is outraged by Daryun’s death and challenges Zahhak to a duel WTF (who is this hod-headed guy??? is he really Arslan???)

Arslan and Zahhak kill each other in a duel (p200)

pages dedicated to this most important “protagonist vs main villain” battle: 2 pages

at this point everything seems so ridiculous that I don’t have the motivation to translate his last words

wtf

@ Tanaka Yoshiki this gif is for you

About Zahhak:

The most ridiculous thing about this book and the deaths of so many characters is... you know if the remaining generals had all attacked Zahhak TOGETHER at the same time (e.g. Gieve, Farangis, Elam and Merlaine focusing on beating the two snakes and Daryun, Kishward, Kubard and Arslan with his Rukhnabad focusing on beating Zahhak himself), they could have beat Zahhak and his two fucking snakes so easily. (*Also, it’s worth noting that Arslan is able to seal part of Zahhak’s supernatural power with his holy sword Rukhnabad lmao)

But no, they all attack Zahhak in a 1-on-1 battle for no reason, so even if they manage to beat the snakes or wound Zahhak, they give them enough time to heal/regenerate until the next general comes to challenge Zahhak to another duel. It’s like

day 1: Merlaine’s turn. He beats one of the snakes and dies.

day 2: (the snakes had enough time to regenerate) Parafuda’s turn. He beats one of the snakes and dies.

day 3: (again: the snakes had enough time to completely regenerate) Kishward’s turn. He beats both snakes and even manages to wound Zahhak, then he dies.

day 4: (again: the snakes had enough time to completely regenerate and Zahhak’s wounds are already healed) Daryun kills both snakes and dies.

day 4: FINALLY, Arslan doesn’t wait until the snakes have regenerated. But too bad, he dies, too.

Do you see how ridiculous this is??????

Everyone’s so extremely dumb in this book and I just hated it.

#arslan senki #arslan senki novel spoilers #what the hell #worst volume #worst book I've ever read #in my life #srsly #arslan #daryun #vol.16

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seenashwrite · 7 years ago

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Conversations With The Commissioner: Crappy Monsters In Barber Shops, a.k.a. Nash's First Headcanon + Wine = The Image I’ll Never Be Able To Top

@lipstickandwhiskey kindly thought to tag me when she saw a jovial post that reminded her of my disappointment in the lack of dinosaurs in the *alternate world and hoped to cheer me, but little did she know [mainly because I completely brain farted on posting this way-back-when] this had been addressed. In an objectively bizarre way. Admittedly.

FYI: Spit-take warning in effect, also cursing, should you choose to carry on

Preamble

* Dear SPN Writers' Room*: I'm not calling it The Bad Place, because I'm done with y'all ripping from other stuff, in this case, a beyond phenomenal show - hey! you do recognize carefully crafted season arcs when you see it! - even if y'all thought it was a homage, it's not since viewers of the show "The Good Place" already know about The Bad Place and it's not a physical nightmare, it's a psychological nightmare.

Pay. Attention. Stop ripping from well-known pop culture shit without (1) making sure the “homage” is used correctly, (2) double-checking that something similar hasn't been done before and, if so, (3) adding your own cheeky-sneaky spin. Not doing so makes you look, at best, like hacks, at worst, like doofy dipshits, particularly when it is from shows in your same genre - like a renowned show from the same fucking network that hadn't even ended their run but a year and a half prior to when yours started - and wrapping up *your* season with a title that was an iconic element from an iconic show [it was iconic, for several reasons, that's an essay for another time] which was the basis for everything from a/possibly *the* pivotal moment in the series and which was tied to many of the composer's pieces for the soundtrack, as it was a central thread. TV Tropes is your friend.

Tangentially related, while we're here:

[Shep as Romo Lampkin]

I digress.

The Background

The Commissioner and I pop a cork, start talking about the Wayward pilot. We don't say a word about the scripting or the acting [because if we do, I go down a Dolly Deadeyes road, and nobody wants that]. Rather, we do a deep dive on the things that resemble other things and postulate how this came to be. Not in the minds of the peeps behind it, no, the dive comes via what the youths call a "headcanon". I've never had one before, I don't think, and I'm proud this is the first.

Oh, and a housekeeping side note: While my observations/the conversing began that night, the main convo/legit start on the image at the bottom happened later on. This has been run through the Nash snark filter for funsies, which is why the tone is the same for the whole conversation as, in truth, I have little clear memory of a lot of this, and the time taken for the assemblage of the image took longer than a conversation's worth, since the beginnings were sponsored by wine but it had to be done, it's how I combat insomnia and after seeing the monsters, I needed to purge my feelings of.... well....

The Beginning

After a verbal review (an accosting-of, really) of both Well-Coiffed Predator in a Bane Mask and Dollar Store Doomsday from the Wayward pilot, we begin discussing theories on how exactly this came to be in the alt world. Everything below is based on (a) the fact that New!Kaia's outfit denotes the presence of some sort of killa shopping and/or a hella talented Matrix-obsessed seamstress in the alt-world, therefore why not additional styling like a salon, and (b) the fact that we were lit on wine.

And the Predator rip - who, in the concept art, does not appear rippy-offy, it should be noted - got that mask somehow. He's either homaging Bane all over his face [his own face, not the other-way-'round] or he's gotten hold of one of the real things, modded it a touch to account for the spread of his general mouth region. Seems their temp name is the generic supernatural/folklore catch-all that I was vaguely aware of - "Canid" - and that some dude who's apparently of import on the show hates it, and I concur because all I can think of when I see the name is Candida. The Commissioner asked for a reminder, and I explained what that infection was and that now upon learning the creature’s name, I looked upon it as a yeast infection made sentient. The copious amounts of viscous discharge helps that along.

This then got a general science light bulb to pop, and we again consulted the googles, and boo-yah:

It's a dog. That. That up there, that I linked to. A daaaawwwwg.

No, not a if-this-is-a-dog-then-what-does-the-owner-look-like, maybe-they're-just-disgruntled-puppy-mill-alums type of WTF. The WTF is because I, once again, am wondering if at any point people over yonder are bothering to check shit out with this cool new thing called google. I know. It's a novel suggestion.

Somebody sure as shit used said googlins for squid beak - it's a touch birdy beak, but nah, slimy squid goes better with the aesthetic - and I guess they had to, as they already gave the far superior on the creepy scale pacu teeth to the Dollar Store Doomsday.

Because we were sneery and feeling gross at this point, we needed something fun, so we refilled on wine, and decided to make a mash-up image of the “inspirations” [to be clear: The Commissioner decided I should make a mash-up]. We were also feeling gross after looking at all that above, so for an eye sorbet, we needed some pretty, and STAT. We both instantly knew what would do the trick.

We start the conversation with Bane.

The Conversation

[looking at still from that Batman movie Bane was in; neither of us have cared to clarify which of the Nolan B-mans it was, because we don't care]

The Commissioner: He is so smooth, like, everything, even the fit of the clothes.

Nash: I'll never forget his turn as young Picard in that shit 'Trek movie, what was it called?

[we do not look it up; digression discussion of the awesomeness that is Sir Patrick Stewart]

TC: What's in his hand? Is that a riding crop? Or a shuffleboard thing?

N: Yes, exactly, Bane took a break from beating up Batman to shuffle. Nooooo. He got drug away from riding his horsey----

TC: YOU MUST MEAN HIS STALLION - if he rides horses, they are buff

N: ---to bring the mask, and is he pissed about it?

TC: No. No, because he is a dollbaby - he loves dogs.

N: You're mixing Tom Hardy with Bane.

TC: NO.

N: [realizing] BECAUSE THAT IS A DOG THING, THAT CREATURE IS DOG

[digression googles to look at pics/vids of Tom Hardy with pups]

N: Oh, no, wait - can we make it a putter? Like he was on his way to golf?

TC: But he still doesn't mind, because he's good guy Bane? And golf sucks? Oh hell yes.

[putter image sought; we go back to staring at Hardy, sip wine for untold moments]

N: And Preddie's all - Oh Bane, no! I couldn't possibly! Aren't these custom made? But he's gripping the shit out of it, like, pry it from my hands, bitches.

TC: And he takes a sniff when nobody's looking and swoons. *SWOONS*

N: Freaked-out stylist saw, though, and a touch of pee slips out, because it was weird before, but now shit's kicked off.

TC: Oh, she's already wet her pants at least once, absolutely. Do we need to add her?

N: No, she's in the bathroom.

TC: But you know who we should add.

[Image of 1990s Leonardo Di Caprio is immediately sought; we love the R+J still too much for words and select it with zero pause]

N: But why?

TC: You know he's gonna end up bopping around to other worlds anyhow, and for Bane to be here, there must be other rifts----

N: Low-Sugar Low-Fat Low-Calorie Eye of Saurons?

TC: ----so they're babysitting.

N: THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE [gulp of wine] Hey, you know who should be his foster parents if he’s bopping around to all points?

TC: Is it some side-character who's off-show at the moment? So we can get the show back to, um, Sam and Dean?

N: Chuck and Amara.

TC: You remember they're brother and sister, right?

N: [side-eye] Okay.

TC: They are. It's canon.

N: OKAAAY. [stares at Leo] Alright, what are we having him do? Satan's crotch goblin?

TC: [possibly disgusted with me] Pencils.

N: YES I KNOW WHAT TO DO they need to keep him busy so they just keep giving him piles of pencils to sharpen, and he's distressed because there's no more and the sharpener’s motor burnt out.

TC: [touch of a spit take]

[we stare at the collection of images; it is a bitch to find a clear shot of a Pred sitting, but we need him in a barber chair; I will ultimately cobble it from three separate images; it was worth every goddamn minute]

TC: Okay, now what about that thing? The thing? Deadpool?

N: No he was something else, that's Reynolds. Deadshot? Wait, hang on.

[we watch the Bob Ross Deadpool thing, maybe twice, I have no idea]

TC: What'd you say?

N: I dunno.

TC: Me neither I just remember thinking you were wrong.

N: [looks it up, or we'll be here all week] DOOMSDAY

TC: Stop, stop, stop - didn't we also say Lord of the Rings cave troll?

N: I can't remember if it was me or somebody else.

TC: Do cave troll.

[we search]

N: Holy shit. He's in the club.

[image chosen; best one is of him pointing; I later add the touch of a framed photo of King Kong that's inexplicably hanging in the barber shop, also next to it a photo of Captain Shitty Render]

N: But Doomsday.

TC: Do it.

[image chosen; this was also a bitch, I had to blur and cobble and blend and hide part of his bottom half because ZACK SNYDER LOVES SHOOTING EVERYTHING LIKE WE'RE IN A DANK CAVE]

N: They're so glad Bane pulls through, because Preddy won't shut the fuck up about him.

TC: It's because his last boyfriend was garbage, keeps hanging out with humans, and Bane's loyal, like he was to that chick from Inception, like----

N: LIKE DOG

[the bottle is empty; we are sleepy]

The Results

I regret not adding an aquarium with a squid.

The Aftermath

Both TC and my Tumblr wife @butiaintgonnaloveem had reactions that can nicely tuck under the umbrella of [in concerned tone] Nash are you okay, like, is life beating you down somehow, this is crazypants which I appreciate from the latter, but as for the former I pointed out that they are my enabler/dealer/peer-pressurer in every bit of this.

There is no end to this post.

#Nash Shares #Conversations with The Commissioner #dollar store Doomsday #discount 90s Leo DiCaprio #well-coiffed Predator in a Bane mask #poorly rendered #rip-offs #do better #pseudo-art #Wayward Sisters pilot #wine-induced head canons #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

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roccoroks · 7 years ago

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VOLUME 6 DAG FILES GATHER ROUND FUCKERS.....ITS THAT TIME AGIAN! ITS STORY TIME WITH ROCCO!!!! its been a long fucking week, elevator took a shit, roof blew off and the Indians are back from cherrokee and all of this in one 18 hour period, not to mention i have a desk clerk that thinks he is supreme overlord over the internet systems and security systems and he is not. thats my job. i am to supreme pizza as he is to cheese pizza but he has yet to figure this out. anywho (count down to when someone photoshops dicks into that gif) to day started out harmless enough, bird chirping and shit, sun was out, it was like 80 degrees but that was the highlight of my day. see i was being called in because we could no longer remote view our security systems because Lord WiFi fucked up the routers again. 10:30 am i arrive at the motel..... IN MAH NEW TRUCK MIGHT I ADD! *phone rings* me: hello (bleeeeep) how my i help.... dag: YES I WOULD LIKE TO BOOK ONE OF THOSE ROOOMS, THEY GOT DAT JACUZZZZZZZZI IN EM me: (MOTHER OF FUCK COULD YOU TALK ANY LOUDER!!) YES MAM, WE HAVE THOSE (MEETING HER VOLUME EQUALLY AS LOUD) dag: HOW MUCH IT BE FO 1 NIGHT? me: just one second.....( rack rate of 59.95, 10 dollar fee for destroying my hearing in everyway possible and the 5.00 i hate you fee) mam? dag: WHAT? me: huh? oh it will be 89.95 (i rounded up) dag: last time we stayed there... me: (oh for fuck sake, here we go) dag: it was 29.45 and tax me: was not, it has never been that rate.....ever dag: it was to me: was not, i know for a fact it wasnt, our minimum rate is 49.95 not 29 (oh shit im being a asshole and jill said i wasnt allow to be a dick anymore) you may have us mistaken with another motel mam dag: i dont like your tone me: (i dont like you) im sorry mam but the truth is that our rate is 89.95, now if you stay 3 nights i can give you 10.00 off dag: (yells to here husband) HEY! RICKYBOBBYJIMBOB BASS HE SAYS HE WILL GIVE IT TO US FOR 10.00 OFF IF WE BOOK 3 NIGHTS OR MORE dags husband: SHEEEEEIT THATS ALMOST 40.00 OFF *heard in the background* me: O.o (you no math what good) dag: OH YEAH WE TAKE THAT, THATS A GOOD DEAL 10 OFF A NIGHT! me: (i seem to have made the screaming mongoose happy) ok i just need some info from you and we can get your reservation in place, when are you coming? ( i swear if you say as we speak and start moaning that the last person did, i will commit suicide) dag: uuhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... me: ( WAS THAT A FUCKING MOAN) mama? dag: HOLD ON, IMA THINGKIN (say it just as i spelled it) me: ........ *begins making the universal jack off sign* dag: oh! WE IS COMING TODDAY ME: (REALLY.....HOW CAN YOU BE THIS STUPID AND NOT KNOW WHEN YOU ARE EVEN COMING IN.....WHEN ITS TODAY!!!) *A SHORT SERIES OF QUESTIONS LATER* me: ok i need your zip code please dag: ******* (its cherrokees zip code) me: (fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... you people always cause problems) ok mam i have your reservation right here and i will see you soon! *dag hangs up with out further conflict* -12:4.....something pm IDK- -there is a nasty storm moving is and the wind is cutting about 60 mph in straight lines and shit getting crazy up in hurr- *struggling with printer, trying to refill the paper tray* me: *grabs multiple sheets of paper* yes, take my load of white paper *wont fit, grabbed to much paper* me: how about now *still no beuno* *removes more paper* me: now? *begins shoving paper into tray at maximum force* *still to much!* me: I WILL DESTROY YOU HP LASERJET P1101W! *phone rings* me: *throws paper in fit of rage, paper now covers 95% of the desk* .... O.e FML!! hello how may i help you? Jill: rocco? me:.....what jill: the cameras still dont work, i cant see shit on my phone me:......no shit? that might be because i have yet to get to that problem.... jill: dont be a ass just fix it me: why does this need to be delt with right this moment, im in the fight of my life with this stupid printer.... jill: i need to be able to watch everyone work... me: ......pervert.. jill: blow it out you ass me: you would like that wouldnt you...*heres her hang up the phone*...PERVERT! *TURNS AROUND TO SEE A LARGE LADY STANDING IN MY LOBBY* ME: hello what can i do for you? Dag: yeah hunneh wez gotza reservation widjall (good luck reading that shit) me: oh ok, whats the first name .....*notices she has what looks like a cross tattoo on her right shoulder*....thats a interesting tattoo you got there dag: oh this old ting? hunneh thats from a long time ago... me: oh is it tribal? (she indian so must bee) dag: sweety child no thats a pork chop... me:..........(BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH WTAF!) *snicker* uh...how come *pfssssss* i mean to stay *choking back tears* what pork chop dags husband: *from the couch in the lobby* BECAUSE SHES A FAT ASS! me: e.o.....(ho god ho god ho god! i cant do it! i just cant do it) falls in the floor laughing my ass off dag: mothafuck i told you not to speak! bitch you want to eat tonight dont you! me: (oh shit!) snaps to attention dags husband: pfssss wtf ever you know who wears the britches in this relationship! me: (shut up dude, this bitch has the size and capacity of a small bread truck, you may never be heard from again) here are your keys enjoy your stay (please dont eat me) *dag leaves, phone rings* me: hello how may i help you? jill: rocco me: now what jill: moms dog is sick me: i dont care jill: oh and bobby is sick, you have to cover third shift tonight, we have 3 late reservations coming in and you need to take care of it *loud noise heard in parking lot* me: OH SHIT NIGGA! THE ROOF JUST BLEW THE FUCK OFF AND LANDED ON A CAR! JILL: WHAT?! *hangs up phone and runs outside* me: *see that part of the roof has blown off and landed on one of the maids cars* OH THANK GOD, its just marys car thats distroyed. mary: OH YEAH BECAUSE THATS SOOOOO MUCH BETTER! me: meh.....*goes back inside while mary rages out* -12 am now...things are quiet.... to quiet... me: *le derpin on the omputer* *loud thud heard from outside* me: maybe its just thunder and it will go away. *more more disturbing louder noises heard from out side* me: please be thunder! please? please?? *yet another loud noise followed by muffled cussing and a loud clang!* me:.....my suspicions are now aroused..... *phone rings* me: front desk customer: yes we are in 304 and there are some people fighting on the balcony. me: yes sir i will get right on that! - it was that this time all hell broke loose- me: *looks out in the parking lot to see not one not two but all, yes all of my patio furniture from third floor laying in the parking lot and just then i see a tv fall to the ground* HOLY FUCK! *runs out the door* *screaming that i could hear running up the steps to 3rd floor* "your a piece of shit! i cant brelieve you would smoke my last cigarette you boofalo fuckin squirrel shit eating ass clown" me: holy shit! porkchop is fucking pissed! *arrives out of breath to 3rd floor* HEY HEY HEY! YOU TWO NEED TO KNOCK IT THE FUCK.... *pork chop throws a ash tray at me, just as it passes me i hear it break the sound barrier* me: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! *DUCKS* WTF! LOOK YOU BEST STOP OR IM GOING TO CALL THE COPS! *porkchop is now ignoring me and is attempting to throw her husband off the 3rd floor railing, yes they are hammered drunk* dag: "ima kill you, you sorry fucker! how dare you smoke my last cig!" me: *calls the cops" 911: 911 whats your emergency? me: yes my name is -------- and im at the --------- and there are two indians beating the shit out of each other on my patio 911: sir? me: SEND THE COPS! THE FAT ONE IS TRYING TO EAT THE LITTLE ONE! 911: ok sir units are dispatched and on the way me: *hags up phone and hides in ice room* -about 29 seconds later, two squads show up- me: oh thank god! -by this point the husband was locked in the bathroom narrowly avoiding being eaten, and porkchop was dragging out all the furniture on to the patio saying all the while " your ass can live outside just like that chicken of yours!" me: wtf does that even mean! - cops arrive on the balcony to find me hiding in the ice room and porkchop the great white grizzly bear destroying the room- cops- mam, your under arrest for destruction of property and DIP (drunk in pubic) dag: *grabs a remote off the table and squares up to fight.....i shit you not...* cops: *circling the enraged wildebeest, one goes in for the kill and nails a lucky blow to the back of her knee and she drops like a 900 pound bag of booze, shit and regret* your going to jail! me: oh snap! 20 mins later after filling out a report cops: ok have a nice night. me: wa....wait, whos going to help me clean..... cops: no me... *leaves* so there i sat, parking lot covered in furniture, 3rd floor could legally be turned into fema for government aid and 302 completely destroyed. me: *looks around......locks the doors and goes home*

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otakuemilee · 8 years ago

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Just my thoughts on death note NETFLIX movie

So i watched the death note movie last night and GOOD LORD it was bad I mean if i had never seen the original I might have actually liked it but since I have there was so many plot holes and scences were missing most not even all of charters were off and a bunch of other stuff

(I’M CURRENTLY REWATCHING THE ORIGINAL SERIES )

Side note sorry for the spelling errors and missing words I wrote all of these at 12-3 in the morning

Holy shit this is so American right off the bat

3 cop cars lights blazing with in the first minute

Pft light Turner ( is he related to timmy Turner from fairy odd parents

Kay so misa is a cheerleader now ?kool I guess

Light Turner:that smart guy who dose other people’s math home work

Creeper stop looking at the cheerleaders creep

So misa is the head bitch of the cheer team?

In case if you forgot where the movie took place, there is a highschool/collage football team practicing with the cheerleaders neer by

Oh misa smokes now also during practice?also also where the hell did the cigeret come from and how is fit already lit?

Boy notices girl (I bet they are going to do it later on in the movie ()

“Fuck I think she likes me even though we probley never met before ” look

Edgy title sequences with flashing different colours

+ Roll credits

None of the T’s are side ways nor upside down

Oh shit rave time

Oh shit sudden winds

Did she inhale he cigeret ?

Oh geez the note book has fallen from the sky

Oh shit right its right beside me

Let’s grab it

Roll credits

Now it’s raining suddenly everyone run away

Bullies sucks

Classic I’m gonna beat up up and steal your money

Girl tries to be tough only to be pushed by the bully and guy yells out after catching her “DON’T TOUCH HER”

OH SHIT SMART GUY HAD BEEN HANDING OUT ANSWERS TO PEOPLE

smart guy tries to make the principal see the bigger picture of things for students

Why did light lose his mom at a young age

In the anime he had his mother why the odd detail of a lost one to justify the guy HANDING out answers to people and to be edgy ????

Kool girl can’t talk to the edgy guy of the school

Random ass jumpscare Falling asleep in detention cliques

Why did you have to push all the books off the desk you could have placed them on the desk either side of you? Also why all the books anyways ?

At least they kept the rules of the book right

Why dose the writing end here ?

Holy fuck flashing lights,damn it the power when out why?

WHAT THE FUCK MARBLES

Why are there millions of marble in here in a glass jar some where back there

“Anyone there” clique

What’s with the millions of jars in the front or back of the class??

WHAT or who knocked this over?

AH BIG SPIKY THING

HOLY FUCK IT LOOKED AT ME

*nocks a shelf down by falling into it from fear*

Random winds indoors

Locked door when shits going down clique

Light Turner is a little bitch

Screams for a whole minute quite to look at shit flying around the class room screams like a little bitch again

Oh shit everything stoped and this room is a mess I’m going to be untroubled for this

My Apple has been ate *dun dun dun*

Ah A DISIMBODY VOICE

Main character thinks they are sleeping in a odd senerior clique

“Eight foot demon lookin mother fucker” -light Turner

Was just freaking out a second ago but listens to what the “Eight foot demon lookin mother ” has to say and dose the thing he says to do

Oh shit that chick is getting bullied what do I do?

“Let’s kill them by writing their name in this ‘death note ”

God damn I know you want this person to die but by decapations that’s a little fucked up mate

I was right God damn, that’s disturbing! A fucking lader to the face , it didn’t even take the head completely off just where the mouth separates

Also the girl and that guy now needs some deep mentle health help now that shits gonna stay with them forever now

OH DAMN SON THAT’S NOT RIGHT

Oh shit I was talking to the demon lookin mother fucker and now he gone but the powers back on and the class room is a mess

-12 minute mark

Oh look the book I just used to kill that dude like just pick this back up and act like nothing happened

Awkward dinner with my father (OH shit wait where’s lights little sis?) With a earth quake happening at the same time

Mubble mubble? Mumble . Mumble mumble mumble? Mumble mumble? JUST SPEAK CLEARLY PLEASE

SO the mom got ran over and died and apparently talking about this makes light angry as hell?

Time to use the death note to write that guys name down or wait what don’t trust ryuk?

AH DEMON IN MY CLOSET

Let’s toss a Apple in here

“2 days? Wow your fingers are huge ”

Causal steals evidence from the folder of your dead mom’s case

Out of pure spite I’m gonna kill the one who killed my mother

That felt good

WHAT THE FUCK Hollywood I get it more blood the better but god damn vomitting blood after falling neck first onto a knife that’s just gross and yes shocking but ewwwwww

Fuck ryuk looks fucking creepy as fuck,

Also why is ryuk so sinnicual in this in the anime he’s just like to as you want I’ll be right here eating all of the apples

Let’s read this thing out in public no one will notice except my crush

Cheer leader girl is kinda messed up

Oh wow your name is Mia,U COULD HAVE KEPT THE NAME MISA

-22 minute mark

“ I can’t tell you what this is but if you really want to know lemme tell you all about it”

Girl thinks u are batshit crazy son

Out of everything they kept the hostage scene ???

Oh damn you killed a man I believe everything you say and do now

Back to the whole sub plot of mommy died now I’m emotionally dead inside and now I have this book I can feel something now

“ Let us make a new world light”

Takes the lady up to his room and I told you they were gonna fuck

“Lets kill every one bad to fine the good”

“ be named kira” “why kira ? What dose it mean ?” “I means light in Celtic or Russian like that ” ^— it means killer in the translation to English or to (*キラキラ*) shine/glitter in japanese you twat also Russian yes but it means like the sun And no way is it even close to having a Celtic background it’s Greek meaning lady

Okay they kept the prison scene but to a minimum

Why the fuck is L at the scene of the crime??? Why didn’t they cast him like the fans wanted, who cares about a diverse cast , we want the quirks of the actual charter to be shown

If they cut out the whole tennis since I’m gonna be sad and if they do the whole tough black guy thing I’m gonna be really upset with the character

What’s with the random ass song ???

No really wtf

A SINGLE SONG PUTS THE GREATEST DETIVE TO LIVE ASLEEP DON’T LET ANYONE KNOW ABOUT IT

WHERE’S MY OLD MAN WATARI WHAMMY ?

dose the dad even have a name or naw

Wahhh that was watari singing that random add song??? Why is he japanese he was a English gentalman(kinda)in the anime ????

WHAT NO WHY?

L IS A CLEAN FREAK NO CANDY IS SPLIT NO WHERE WHY YOU NO SIT CORRECT KNEES TO YOUR CHIN FEET ON THE FLOOR GOD DAME IT

but hey you have the room of which they meet in so I guess that’s cool or are you gonna gloss over that and not show the task force guys ?

Apparently talking about killing people gives Mia a boner good to know

NO TASK FORCE ? THE FUCK

JAMES TURNER WHY?????

OMG JUST EAT THE ICE CREAM YOU DICK

L WHAT NO THIS ISN’T HOW THAT HAPPENED THE PUT A FAKE

WHAT ABOUT THE SHINIGAMI EYES MOTHER DUCKED? WHERE S REM? MISA SHINIGMA WHAT ABOUT HER HUH? YOU MISSES A CRUSAL PLOT POINT DUMBASSES

ALSO IT WAS OVER A LEADERS CONFRENACE OF HEAD POLICE FORCE PEOPLE NOT A TYPICAL ONE COME ALL REPORTER MEET AND GREET

NO VOICE MODOFACATIONS EAITHER??? REALLY?

Hahaha they kept the stalking of light

WHAT THE FUCK happened

Let’s do all live interviews with a mass killer on the lose

Let’s drop all of the f bombs man screw ratings

WHO MADE RYUK THE GOD OF ALL SHINIGMAS? DID THEY NOT LOOK AT DEATH NOTE THIRTEEN? ALSO WHO MADE THIS BOOK?

LET’S JUST BE DICKS IN PUBLIC TO EACH OTHER

UM WHAT IS HAPPING

NO NO NO NO NO NO

THE DEATH NOTE DOSENT WORK LIKE THAT YO,U CAN’T KILL OFF THE ONE CHARATER THAT LEADS TO SOMETHING IMPORTANT ASLO MIA YOU MORE USELESS THAN THE CHARTER MISA AT LEAST SHE HAD THE SHINIGAMI EYES AND HAD A NPTE BOOK OF HER OWN AND ACTUALLY DID THINGS

WHAT THERE IS NO RULE 89 Its FAKE you idiot There’s only 6ish rules and they have the simplest of loop holds but misa can see them too she knows more than you do about the death note light Turner

Uh no what the hell is st.martains orphanage in Montauk IT WAS WHAMMYS ORPHANAGE IN LONDON ENGLAND WHERE MELLO,MATT AND N AND I GUESS BB LIVED AND WORKED ON BECOMING THE NEXT L BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

??? Rochester wards what the hell is that??? I mean yeah sure yeah you got that part right about becoming great detectives but it was only yo become a sucesor to L Because he had a few months to live or whatever the time ACTUALly was

????? Now this is bull shit locking children away to make them stay sane? To be come a great deftective and the rest of which you are saying is shit , La in his thirty or so cause MATT and mello and near are all in their 20s or a wee bit older

Fuck this movie man

L looks so week in this like yeah watari is basically L’S father and what not but the guy I know and looked up to is being please as a guy who can’t do anything for him self watari this watari that I get it but there are things of which I don’t get about this portrale why dose he sleep for — amount of hours when we takes cat naps through out the day OKAY THIS TAKES THE FUCKING CAKE L IS RESTRICTED BY A POLICE OFFICER THIS MAN KNOWS HOW TO EVERY FIGHTING TECHNIQUE LNOWN TO MAN BUT GOD FORBID A OFFICER TAKES HIM DOWN AND HEY LET’S TAKE THE MOST MENTAL STABLE MAN EVER AND TURN HIM INTO A NEVIOUSE MESS

SO WAIT NO TRAPS IN THE ROOM NO PENCILE IN THE DOOR NO GOOD FUCKING PARTS TO THE ORIGINAL YOU PEICE OF GARBAGE CREATER

THE ORIGINAL HAD A BETTER SOUND TRACK AND NOT SOME CHEEP OVER USED SCARY MOVIE BMG

THAT’S HOW WATARI DIES IN THIS SHITTY VERSION A SAD PATHTIC DEATH

WHAT THE FUCK there are no rules you twat

This movie honestly broke my heart turned L into a shallow mess of a characterwhich made him look so week skipped a bunch a details that made the anime what it was it slipped over MAT,mello and near and the final battle at the end misa sucked a lot the final scene really is the point where ryuk writes lights name in the book but booboo Mia had to write it and blah blah blah I AM THE FINAL BATTLE AND THERE IS 21:48 LEFT TO THIS SERISE WHAT THE FUCK IF GONNA HAPPEN??? WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENES

NO BOTH OF THEM DIES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THAT’S HOW THIS SHIT ENDS OH WAIT NO SINCE LIGTS PAPER GOT BURNT IN A FIRE MEANS THE BITCH OH LIGHT ISN’T KIRA BECAUSE HE SAW HIS NAME A PAPER AND THESE DOSNENT HAPEN BECAUSE OF THIS AND THAT YOU MESSED UP BIG TIME MOVIE ALSO FUCK THE THE RULE OF WHO EVER TOUCHES THE NOTE BOOK SEES SHINIGAMI

FUCK THIS MOVIE TO THE FULLEST EXTENT THIS DID NO JUSTICE YOU THE ORIGINAL THIS WAS TERRIBLE AND I VERY MUCHED HATES HOW THE ENDING TURNES OUT FUCK YOU ADAM WINGARD AND ALL THOSE WHO HELPEd make this

Side note

WHO the hell comes into someone’s house and is all like HI yeah I know I don’t live here but gtfo the adults need to speak

#death note #netflix #i wasted so much time #please don't let this go mainstream please #for the love of god

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