#I fear regretting this post in 5 years for who knows what | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sl3epyaf · 1 month ago

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What if you got turned into a 5 year old? WHB kings

Small fic based off of this post I made, tweaked the concept a bit tho

Not proofread, forgive me for typing mistakes-

GN reader/MC :]

This was meant to be done a lot earlier but I just didn't have ANY motivation to write sooo.. /ᐠ - ˕ -マ

Enjoy whatever this is- <3

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When you first woke up you felt weird.. not like sick but just weird. It took some effort but you finally managed to get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror- instead of your usual self there stood a tiny you- around 5 years old in front of the mirror.

Your thoughts were cut off by the door getting opened.

For the first 20 seconds or so you and Satan kept staring at each other before he finally manages to blurt out "What the fuck happened to you?". Honestly, that's what you wanted to know as well because how the hell did you just wake up on a Thursday like this?!

You open your mouth to say something only to manage to say "Don't know". It appears whatever- this was also turned your ability to speak back to the one you had as a five year old, but at least your mind was intact-

"Well shit" The short devil says before picking you up and placing you on his shoulders and bolting out of room straight over to where Sitri, Paimon and Ppyong were talking.

Paimon was the first one to notice you, a gasp escaping his lips "MCC～ What happened to you?" Oh boy, you were going to hear that question a lot.. You just knew it.

You shrug your shoulders. That gesture somehow earned you an 'aww' from Paimon- you could only guess he found you extremely adorable.

"We're going to Tartaros, perhaps Mammon knows how to fix you" 'Someone get me to Lucifer please because he's the closest person who can probably fix this' you think to yourself, internally facepalming. Though a certain concern quickly appeared in your head- how on earth were you going to get there so fast?!

Well you got your answer extremely fast as Satan bolted outside and into where he keeps his motorcycles..

And when Satan placed you on his motorcycle? You almost screamed. Surely he wasn't going to drive there with you on board?! Actually knowing him he would..

Unfortunately you fears were true as the devil of wrath started the engine and started speeding towards Tartaros but at least he was holding you tight so you wouldn't fall?

If you were to ignore the.. few panic attacks you almost got on your trip to Tartaros then you could say it was the best trip you've ever had in your life.

Instead of parking his motorcycle somewhere Satan decided 'fuck driving rules' and drove straight through walls and straight to Mammon.

The sudden stop caused you to fly out of Satan's arms and into Mammon's.

"Who are they?" "MC" "What happened to them?" Ah shit, here we go again. You lift your head "Don't know, woke up like this"

You then noticed Bimet looking at you with an appraising gaze before pulling you into his arms and then pulling a donation box from God knows where- You didn't even have to know that Bimet was going to use your tiny self as means to get money- probably charging Tartaros devils a hefty sum of gold to see you..

You poke Bimet's cheek "I want money." If that fucker was going to make money off of you then you wanted some of the share!

"Fine."

Anddd about three hours later you were regretting your life choices. You weren't going to lie, you were about 60% sure that Bimet wasn't going to try and make money off of you but he did- the good news is that you're keeping 60% of what was earned, the bad news was that you were EXHAUSTED, your legs hurting from walking around so much.. and so now you were leaning against Mammon's chest, his large hands patting your head which caused you to drift off and finally fall asleep.

You're not sure how long you slept but you were woken up by the slight smell of smoke and so you open eyes and you found yourself laying on the couch with Belphegor's arms around you.

"Huh-" you blink before looking around, now all eyes are on you. "His Maj' and I found heard about your situation and now we're here just chillin'". Beleth explains, squishing the cigarette he was smoking under his boot.

Shockingly that didn't comfort you in the slightest.. why? Because if Beleth and Belphegor heard about the situation then how many more- and more importantly- did the angels hear about it?! Or are they the ones behind it?

"Stop movin' so damn much" You hear a tired voice behind you. Apparently you moving around slightly woke the king of sloth up which to be honest made you laugh just a tiny bit.. "Morning" You greet him knowing damn well that Belphegor would rather not be awake right now.. in your defense- it was not your fault that he woke up.

In the corner of your eye you can see Beleth checking the clock, he sighs as he walks over to you, carefully unwrapping Belphegor's arms around you "Sorry we've gotta go, got some stuff to deal with"

You frown a bit- you've been up for about 3 minutes and hadn't had the chance to talk with Beleth and Belphegor much- at least you got to nap. You wave them goodbye and then look around the room "Where Satan?"

"He had something to do in Gehenna so he had to leave" Mammon explains, getting up "I'll get you something to eat". Now that food was mentioned you did realize that you were hungry-

When the door to your room was suddenly opened you almost screamed after realizing who came in.

"And here I thought you couldn't get anymore adorable～" Asmodeus greets you, picking you up. "Have the devils treated you well? Have you been fed proper food?"

'If by being fed means getting no food then yes i've been fed well, really well in fact' you think. But instead of voicing your- thoughts you shake your head and manage to respond with "No food".

Almost immediately Asmodeus frowns at your response, reaching down to boop your nose. For half a second you were temped to bite Asmo's finger like an angry cat but you didn't, instead you respond with "Mammon bringing food".

"I see～Let's hope he brings something that's edible for you, your teeth aren't good enough to bite down on gold". Oh crap- you didn't even think about that- Now you had to pray that whoever of the seven kings held their one shared braincell gave it to Mammon for a moment to make him realize that gold is NOT good food for a human child.. or hell a normal human in general!

'Thanks Asmo now you're giving my small brain the overthinking syndrome..'

Oblivious to your now panicking mind Asmodeus sits down and shockingly begins to tell you about his past wife and kids.

At some point Mammon had come back and (very hesitantly considering Asmodeus' presence) had given you a plate of normal food so now you were snacking on food while listening to Asmo's story peacefully-

Well until that peace was lost by a fly starting to buzz hear your ear!

You pout slightly "Bub.."

Your annoyance was either clearly written on your face or your tone considering the fly disappeared about 5 seconds after. Replaced with Beelzebub's figure standing in the middle of the room- .. holding a bottle of wine?!

"I heard you changed into a child so I brought you something to drink!". You widen your eyes, staring at Beelzebub like he was the biggest idiot in the room- which he was but you weren't going to say that out loud considering you didn't have the will or patience to deal with a fly bugging you for the next week or two..

"Wine is not safe for human children to consume" Asmodeus says in your stead, tightening his grip on you slightly as if he's worried that Beel might actually shove some wine down your throat..

"It's not?" 'Dear god never let this man have kids..' You think to yourself..

"It's not" You confirm with a sigh, focusing on eating your sandwich again. "Do we know what caused this?" Beel suddenly asks and you sigh again. Considering that you had food in your mouth you shake your head as a clear 'no', 'hell no' even.

"We should call Levi!" Beel suggests, earning nods from the two other kings with you. 'Solomon you saying these guys are idiots would be an understatement of the fucking universe time.'

When Leviathan got the call for him to come and take a look at you he almost laughed and he was internally laughing until he arrived in the room, immediately starting to glare daggers at Asmo who's lap you were still sitting in.

And then you were snatched from Asmo's lap by Levi- You weren't a devil but even you could sense the envy radiating from him. "Levi!" Beel greets Leviathan with a bright smile on his face which earned a scoff from him-

'I can't imagine just getting brushed off like that, i'd cry for 6 years at least'

"What happened to them?" Leviathan finally asks- shockingly you didn't hear that as much as you thought you would or maybe you were asleep when those questions were asked- honestly you didn't know. "We don't know, Satan crashed here with his motorcycle with them in his arms" Mammon responds- well at least you didn't have to respond.

"An angel attack?" THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW. "Don't know" You respond, crossing your tiny arms with a pout "We thought you might know Levi" Beelzebub adds, smiling at Leviathan. "Well clearly I don't, I've never seen this before" Okay now you wanted to know- did Levi wake up on the wrong foot or something???

"I'm dialing Lucifer's number～" Asmo says with a slight smirk. "You're not blocked?" You ask with a straight face. In the corner of your eye you could see Leviathan get a small smirk on his face before it returned back to his original expression. The devil king of envy holding you slightly closer as Asmodeus frowns "Blocked"

Yeah you didn't find that part that shocking- almost everyone you know that isn't from Abaddon has him blocked.. more often than not you were this close to also blocking him.

"I'll call Lucifer for master" Mammon says, quickly dialing Lucifer.

[Can this mf just come home to me already? :( Alright back to our scheduled programming.. ]

Shockingly it didn't take that long for Lucifer to arrive. He knocked on the door before walking in, his eyes scanning the room before they fell on you.

"What happened to them?" He finally asks while picking you up from a less than willing Leviathan's arms. Lucifer places his hand on your small forehead as to check your temperature- well you didn't know why he did that but to be fair there was a reason he was a doctor and not you-

"They apparently woke up like this. I miss when my kids were this small" Asmodeus responds with a sigh, clearly reminiscing about the past. "Is it some sort of an angel attack?" Mammon continues, making Lucifer raise an eyebrow- 'Yeah I don't think he's too fond of his former brethen being blamed for everything even if my favorite motto is to blame Gabriel..'

"I don't believe it is" The fallen angel confirms, looking at you again before continuing "I've heard rumors of a mischievious devil going around and spiking other's drinks with magic that turns them into a random creature or in MC's case into a child for a day".

You look at Lucifer with a raised eyebrow- did he deal with someone like this earlier this week or something? "Harmless?" You ask, hands reaching to play with the messy strands of Lucifer's hair. Hell since you had the opportunity to do so- why not? In the corner of your eye you can see Leviathan glaring daggers at you- you were going to get hung for that later weren't you-

He pauses for a few seconds before nodding "I believe it is harmless"

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And that's how you got babied for the rest of the day with Beleth, Belphegor and Satan arriving back at some point.

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb asmodeus #whb leviathan #whb lucifer #whb beelzebub #whb belphegor #whb mammon #whb satan #lucifer whb #whb beleth #whb ppyong #whb paimon #whb bimet

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sourcherryandsprinkles · 1 year ago

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prompt #5 with conrad!! maybe reader and conrad are best friends but there's always been tension and one night they make out (maybe in the pool or on the dock?) but reader freaks out about it when she goes bed and decides the next day to act normal and pretend like it didn't happen so it doesn't make their relationship weird <3

This request is so old, I'm very sorry to the anon who sent it... I forgot to finish the ending and post

—

Ever since that silly spin the bottle game in Oliver’s basement when you were thirteen years old, you’ve been dying to kiss your best friend. You hadn’t realized what the fire of jealousy in your guts meant when you saw Penelope and Mariah kissing Conrad as a result of the game, but you did three years later when he told you about Aubrey.

Their relationship didn’t last until summer. So, when the Fishers came back to Cousins, he was your Conrad again.

That summer, you could write a full journal about the many almost-kisses, more-than-friends gestures and special attention between you and him.

Unfortunately, nothing happened until two summers later.

It was late, you and Conrad were sitting in his backyard, talking on the poolside with your feet dipping in the water. Sometimes you would have a night dip, but the moon was full above your heads, which added a chill to the night air.

And then, it happened.

Conrad kissed you. The world around you blurred from the gentle way he was cupping your cheek as his lips pressed against yours, the chirp of the crickets fading into white noise, and for that brief moment, it was just the two of you.

As you were sneaking back inside your house, you fought an urge to scream. It finally happened. Conrad had kissed you. Thirteen-years-old you would never believe it. You flopped down on your bed and squeezed your pillow, needing to exteriorize your excitement without waking your parents.

You couldn't wait to see him again tomorrow. To greet him with a kiss and watch the look on your friends’ faces.

What if that kiss was a mistake though? You both wanted it when it happened, but what if tomorrow Conrad regrets it? Or, what if you get together and then realize it’s not working and break up? No exes stay friends after breaking up. Your grin was immediately wiped from your face, the fear of losing Conrad settling in.

You made sure to keep your distances the following day. You tried to not make it too obvious that Conrad would catch on, but just enough so he wouldn’t make another move on you. Even if you were yearning for another kiss.

‘’Do you want to go on the boardwalk?’’ Conrad asked, leaning on the kitchen island as you were eating cherries from the fruit bowl.

You nodded, swallowing before speaking. ‘’Sure. Who else is coming?’’

‘’Just me and you.’’

Suddenly, the boardwalk didn’t seem like a good idea. Being alone with Conrad didn’t seem like a good idea.

‘’I don’t know…’’ you hesitated, glancing outside and seeing the bright sun. ‘’Isn’t it a bit hot to go on rides? I don’t want to get a heatstroke.’’

Conrad hummed. It wasn’t that hot, in his opinion, but he didn’t push. ‘’We could go in the pool? I think Steven and Jeremiah are already in there.’’

The four of you played volleyball for a bit. You usually teamed with Conrad, but you decided to switch and play with Jeremiah instead...which turned out to be a mistake. Your team wasn't doing great; Jeremiah was terrible at volleyball and you were much shorter than your opponents. You tried bringing up the unfair disadvantage, but Steven’s phone went off and he had to meet with Shayla. Jeremiah followed suit, seeing Belly was back from her debutante lesson.

Which left you and Conrad alone.

You felt him pass under the volleyball net and come up behind you, but you disappeared underwater and swam away. Unfortunately, your tactic must not have been as smooth as you thought because Conrad saw through your plan and called you out on it.

‘’Is this what we do now? Making out and then never talking about it?’’ he questioned, sounding more disappointed than mad, which pinched your heart.

You were caught off guard by his words, not expecting him to be so blunt. ‘’What do you want me to say?’’ you replied, your tone a pinch too defensive.

The pool's rippling water seemed to mirror the tension between you two.

Conrad exhaled deeply. ‘’Why are you acting like nothing happened? Because last night you were pretty into it and now you’re pushing me away.’’

You closed your eyes, remembering his hand under your shirt as you were kissing by the poolside, groping and massaging your tits in a way that made your panties wet. You wanted to experience it again.

‘’Last night was a mistake. We…we can’t.’’ You shook your head, stepping back as Conrad swam to you again. ‘’It’ll ruin our friendship and I don’t want to lose you as a friend—’’

‘’I don’t want us to be friends anymore. I want more.’’ He reached under the water to grab your hand. ‘’How many times do I have to say it until you get it?’’

—

All and more taglist: @kenqki @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade @mellabella101 @vxnity713 @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart @xyzstar @graceberman3 @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark @laurasdrey @mischieftom @fanatic4niall @peterholland04 @idkwhattonamethisblogs @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @zoeynicolas @thejuleshypothesis @multi-fandom-bi-bitch @lexasaurs634 @notasadgirlipromise @thejuleshypothesis @katherinejess @rafesgirlstuff @lafleshlumpeater @iamluminosity

TSITP taglist: @msmarvelknight @maritaleane @dingus0401 @idontknowwhatimdoing777 @nomorespahgetti @lomlolivia @5sosbands @bloodyhw @depthsofdespairr @a-band-aid-for-your-heart @gilbertscurls @brandirouse86 @leilani-nichole @bloody-mf-bsc @papayaboyluvr @bchindureyes @bellysbeach @slytherinambitious @darylscvmdumpster @johannelis2302nely @aqshua @foockingasshole @straberryshortcake143 @luiise @sickntiredtoo @adrluvh @mymultiveres @Rosekar16 @hopeurokays @amysangrl @hopelessromantic727 @beth-gallagher22 @lonelywitchv2 @arinexeisnotworking @cloudrainy342 @theflcwer @alllriseabove @angelxxrose @angelxxrose-blog @r1vrsefx @sierraluvzz @rodriqos @cruzgrecia @evelestrange @aesthetixhoe @hoeforsirius @sarcasm-and-stiles @tristanswildcat @bingsbitch @buckyswhxre @rehead1180

#conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher fanfic #the summer i turned pretty imagine #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp imagine #tsitp

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sosomohanad1996 · 3 months ago

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Read it once in your life, and never regret it. ✋✅

Do you feel bored of the posts asking for help from Gaza? You’re right, but imagine our situation as we live this war day after day for 13 months. Do you think we’re tired too?!!

Asking for help is not easy; it’s very embarrassing, especially for a family that used to live a decent life. My husband and I completed our university education with distinction, worked in respectable jobs, and were used to helping others, not asking for help. But the war has turned our lives into a nightmare; we lost our home, our sources of income, and even our ability to provide the simplest of needs.

What was once a beautiful dream and reality has now become a nightmare. Starvation is one thing, but starving, freezing, and being forced to flee in the middle of the night when tanks suddenly arrive in your area, running for your life and your family’s life under fire, leaving behind everything you built over the years, and returning after 5 months of suffering in displacement and tents to find that your home, where you lived your happiest moments, is nothing but rubble, is something completely different! 💔😓

Can you feel my broken heart now? Can you imagine what I’m going through at this moment? Everything I am living now cannot be described with words, and every moment here is filled with pain and fear. We desperately need your help, as we live in hope of escaping Gaza to save our lives and live safely away from the explosions.

Look at my children, how they lived before the war. But now I can't feed them. I can't buy any of the necessities of life because of the war.

You might feel powerless to stop this genocide, but you can certainly save my family. We appeal to your compassionate hearts to help us escape this catastrophe, which the human mind cannot even fathom.

Please share our campaign with your family and friends. This will help us reach those who can help us directly. Be the reason to bring hope back to our hearts ♥️

I know you share my story out of love and humanity, and I am truly grateful for that. 🙏💚

The painful truth is sharing alone does not feed the hungry or provide medicine for the sick.💔

Cost of a bag of flour is $300 which is the main source of food for my family and is needed weekly just to make bread. We live in a tent my child trembles from hunger and cold, and all I can do is pray. 😥

Please, don’t just watch or share. Even a small donation could be a lifeline for a hungry child or a suffering patient. 🙏

Don’t close your eyes to our suffering. We are calling upon your humanity.

Last donation 2 weeks ago

Our hope for survival comes from the generosity of your hearts. Your donations are the lifeline that keeps my family standing strong, They are our only source of income. Every contribution brings us closer to securing food and medicine for my family. Please, don’t leave us alone; your compassion is the light that dispels this darkness. ✨🫂

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #536 )✅️

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#free palestine #artists on tumblr #severance #save palestine #save gaza #gaza strip #gazaunderattack

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kyunghwannie · 4 months ago

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Who in twice have this wild experiences in sex. If you can give explanation much better.

You can put a member many times over if you think she experience more than one of this scenarios.

1.) Had sex in a public place.

2.) Had a quickie sex during break while having a concert.

3.) Had one night stand with a fan.

4.) Had sex with a man with big belly or fat man.

5.) Had sex with a much older man like 20+ years older.

6.) Had sex with a man having BBC or BWC.(Specify who's member prefers BBC or BWC)

P.s. This is part 1 of my ask since I thought of many scenarios so I decided to divide it. Take your time answering this bro, I know you can cook. 🔥

KYUNGHWANNIE’S "TWICE: BEHIND THE SCENES (WAY BEHIND)" SEXUAL ADVENTURES TIER LIST

Before that, go read Chaeng

(Disclaimer: This is 100% delulu fanfiction. But also… idols are human. And humans do wild shit. So let’s play pretend with sparkly judgment.)

1.) Had Sex in a Public Place

Winner: Sana (duh).

Where? Backstage at a music show, pressed against a mirror in the shared dressing room.

Why Her? That girl has zero fear. One wink at a staffer she trusted, and suddenly she’s hiking her skirt up in a supply closet, muffling her moans in his shoulder while the others rehearse "TT" down the hall.

Bonus Detail: She loved the risk—sweat dripping down her thighs, his fingers digging into her ass as she rode him, whispering "unnie could walk in…" just to feel him throb.

Honorable Mention: Nayeon (airplane bathroom. Allegedly.)

2.) Quickie During a Concert Break

Winner: Jihyo.

The Scene: Coachella. 90-degree heat. She’s drenched in sweat, still in her stage corset, and some VIP fan (who totally wasn’t Kyunghwannie, hehe) sneaks her into a trailer.

The Act: Bent over a makeup chair, skirt shoved up, him pounding into her like he’s trying to match the bass of "Feel Special." She came twice in 7 minutes.

Aftermath: Fixed her smudged lipstick, walked back onstage like nothing happened, and still hit the high note in "Cry For Me." Icon behavior.

3.) One-Night Stand with a Fan

Winner: Momo.

The Setup: After-party in Tokyo. Drunk, horny, and over the dating ban. Some ONCE with very good dance skills (and hands) flirted his way into her hotel room.

The Reality: She rode him reverse-cowgirl so he could watch her ass bounce, then kicked him out at 4 AM with a "don’t tweet about this."

Regrets? Zero. But she did steal his hoodie.

4.) Sex with a Fat Man

Winner: Jeongyeon. (I judge you for this ask, anon. But I deliver.)

The Story: Post-breakup rebound. Some adorable chubby producer with dad vibes made her laugh, then ate her out like it was his last meal.

Her Review: "10/10, would suffocate again."

Kyunghwannie’s Note: I hate that what i wrote is kinda wholesome

5.) Sex with a Man 20+ Years Older

Winner: Mina.

The Plot Twist: It was her ballet instructor from her pre-debut days. Reconnected, "mentorship" got… hands-on.

The Dynamic: She let him tie her up with silk ribbons (for ~artistic purposes~), then cried when he fucked her with the maturity of a man who actually knows how to pace.

Why It Fits: Mina’s a secret old soul. Also, "respect your elders" took on a new meaning.

6.) BBC/BWC Enthusiast

Prefer BBC: Sana (again). Size queen energy. Once whimpered "it won’t fit—" before taking every inch like the champ she is.

Prefer BWC: Tzuyu. Shy until she’s not. Some blonde foreign model ruined her for mortal men.

Wildcard: Chaeyoung (no preference, but definitely drew her partner’s dick in her notebook afterward).

Final Verdict:

Most Likely to Have Done All of These: Sana. No further questions.

Least Likely (But Still Possible): Dahyun… unless it was in a church confessional. Then maybe.

(Remember, ONCE: This is fiction. But if you squint… 👀)

=======

KYUNGHWANNIE’S "TWICE & THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF PORN-BRAIN FANS" ROAST SESSION ✨

(Disclaimer: This is a 100% unserious, glitter-coated drag of porn tropes, not the members themselves. Idols are innocent angels who only drink smoothies and hold hands. Probably.)

Sparkly Judgment Delivered! ✨ (Now go touch grass, anon.)

1.) The "Fat Guy Kink" – AKA "Sir, This Is a Wendy’s"

Alleged Suspect: Jeongyeon (because I've seen most fic i saw of her insist in wattpad).

The "Plot":

"Ohhh, Jeongyeon loves a big teddy bear of a man!" – says every fanfic written by someone who watches too much "Chubby CEO Seduces Idol" JAV.

Reality Check: Jeongyeon’s type is literally "someone who brings me food and leaves." She’s not climbing Mount Dad Bod for plot convenience.

Roast Level: 🌟 "If I wanted a belly, I’d just wait for Momo to finish eating." – Jeongyeon, probably.

2.) The "BBC/BWC Obsession" – AKA "Pornhub Called, They Want Their Stereotypes Back"

Alleged Suspects: Sana (BBC) & Tzuyu (BWC)

The "Logic":

"Sana’s Japanese, so obviously she craves BBC!" – 🤓

"Tzuyu’s tall, so she needs BWC to match!" – 🤡

Reality Check:

Sana would actually prefer someone who can keep up with her energy, not just their shoe size.

Tzuyu is not a math equation ("if height = dick length, then…"). Girl just wants a guy who doesn’t faint when she looks at him.

Roast Level: ✨ "Anon, you’ve been watching too much ‘Foreigner Corrupts Innocent girl’ category. Go outside."

Final Verdict:

TWICE’s real kinks? Personal space, sleep, and not being shipped with random body types.

Sparkly Roast Complete! 🌈 (Now go watch a cooking show or something. Reset that algorithm.)

💎 P.S. for Anon: "No kink-shaming here, babes—just a gentle, sparkly reality check that real-life TWICE isn’t the weird JAV plot where a big bbc guy pound them into oblivion or a pervy fat guy is leeching on them. Maybe if It's like fluff, iam acceptable to it. Wholesome fun is smth else.. Enjoy your fantasies, but maybe balance that diet with some fresh air and a cold shower. Love ya! ✨" and dont argue with me or else I'll make a smut with the same trope saying it is you who is the Guy- oh wait, you’d enjoy it anyway. SHIT!-

(Translation: Go off, but hydrate.)

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thevoiceoflove1993 · 2 months ago

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as it is pride month here's my personal interpretation of the timeline of my favorite fictional gay couple's (k/s) relationship that no one has asked for. based on only having watched the shows (tos + tas) and the original series movies and having read the motion picture novelization (meaning i don't have any background knowledge of whatever some canon comic book or whatever says abt what happened in between these shows/movies) (this also means tas is still canon to me and i see it as taking place after tos, like idec!)

under a cut bc my poor non-trek followers and anyone not interested don't have to scroll past All That lol

tos + tas: they go from respecting to liking to on top of that being attracted to and having romantic feelings for each other but being in denial abt it/repressing it most of the time. but at some point they do reach some level of internal awareness abt it but they don't act on their feelings; spock bc of his issues with/fear of emotions and kirk bc of his feelings of having to prioritize his professional responsibilities, and not wanting to overwhelm spock and destroy what they have/take advantage of him as a subordinate officer.

post-tas (at the end of the 5 year mission): something happens to make spock run away and decide to do kolinahr, i.e. his feelings for kirk have become so strong he can't ignore/deal with it anymore, or there is some kind of confession from kirk, or maybe they even kiss like once and spock can't deal with it. either way i always thought this makes sense bc big life changes like in this case their impending seperation due to the end of the mission often facilitate contemplation, realizations, emotional outbursts, etc.

so spock goes to vulcan to re-immerse himself in vulcan philosophy and purge himself of his emotions; kirk is heartbroken but tries to move on by making a change to his career (going from captain to admiral, not commanding a starship anymore) and goes on a rebound with that woman he eventually marries whose name i forgot (sorry) but the marriage fails and he feels unsatisfied w his professional life as well

tmp: kirk is still unsatisfied w his life and clings to the illusion that getting back to the enterprise will make him feel the way he did before the 5 year mission ended. however when he gets there he quickly realizes that everything has changed and that it isn't the place (the enterprise) he misses but instead the time and circumstances that he can't return to. which includes spock, who isn't there.

then as we know spock comes back, noticeably colder and standoffish which hurts and angers kirk, who wants to go back to the close relationship they used to have, while spock is on a completely different page still chasing absolute logic devoid of feeling. then after mind melding with v'ger spock finally realizes he doesn't actually want a life without feelings and communicates that to kirk along with his regret over what happened between them ("i should have known" etc)

post-tmp/between tmp and the wrath of khan: imo they get together after tmp, anything else wouldn't make sense to me lol. they're very in love but still have issues for example i would think spock still struggles with accepting his emotional side from time to time, especially in the beginning, and they don't always communicate well. a lot of time passes between these films so i don't have a detailed timeline for all these years but basically i think they're in a relationship but it's a relationship that isn't entirely satisfying bc both of them still have to work on themselves.

wrath of khan: they've been together for years and love each other a lot and spock is comfortable with his feelings (we see in the movie he openly talks abt them, even in front of others, like when he tells jim to be careful even though bones is right there). however kirk feels insecure in their relationship and is once again unsatisfied bc their careers have seperated them again, but he can't admit that and, just as he always has, tells himself their jobs are more important than having their personal feelings pandered to. spock reassures him he still loves him and is committed to him even if they can't see each other often. due to the events of the movie they then get to be together on the enterprise again and kirk is happy abt it. then (spoiler) spock sacrifices himself to save the crew and kirk is in shock and devastated after his death.

the search for spock: the movie is so gay i feel like i don't even have to say anything abt how i interpret it bc that's basically just the movie lmao. kirk is absolutely spock-obsessed and his relief when he gets him back in the end is so beautiful. basically kirk learns that always putting his professional responsibilities first doesn't make him happy.

post-tsfs: kirk realizes spock doesn't remember everything (yet) and that they can't just go back to being together. he's sad abt it but he hasn't given up on them or anything, he's giving spock time and is committed to waiting for him.

the whale movie: spock still doesn't remember everything and kirk struggles with that. spock re-discovers himself, this time learning abt emotions in a more healthy way than during his original upbringing.

after the voyage home: at some point spock regains all his memories and kirk and him get together again. i don't wanna write abt the last two movies bc imo most of the development regarding k/s happens earlier. basically i think that after the voyage home their relationship is more successful due to all they've been through individually and together. in the final movie we ofc have lots of k/s drama but they give such old married couple vibes in this that i think they're just going through a rough patch. but they still love each other and are together/married.

also after all of this they retire together to some beautiful place and get to finally just chill (and i think kirk struggles with just chilling but that spock teaches him how to appreciate peace and quiet, and eventually he grows to like it), and nobody dies alone or has to live on without the other for decades. the end.

#it's 3 am so this is rambly and not well written but eh #k/s #star trek tos #t

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toffeecoco1 · 1 year ago

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A concept:

SQH is forced to reveal the system and/or his status as a transmigrator, due to a truth serum or whatever other convenient plot device. I HIGHLY doubt MBJ would just pass this knowledge on to LBH, especially if LBH didn’t ask—and how on earth would he think to ask??

So instead, I think at least part of it happens with LBH around. He watches SQH have a meltdown over being revealed, spewing nonsense about writing a book and then waking up inside it. He doesn’t even need to catch the entire mess, only fragments of it—enough to understand that it’s possible to jump from one world to the next, to end up in a world you already know.

And he starts wondering. Thinking about someone else he knows who has always known too much and brushed it off by claiming he read it in some book or another that Binghe can’t confirm exists. And though SQH appears to have found himself in this world as a child, who’s to say that’s the only possibility? His shizun’s personality changed suddenly and drastically, and he has no memories of his shizun having such startlingly extensive knowledge before that event.

What happens then depends on when this takes place: if it’s post-canon, he probably corners SQH to ask, and is smug about threatening him, then cradles the knowledge he receives close to his chest. Whether he brings this to his shizun is hard to tell, but he’d definitely carry himself with a light, happy air. Knowing that his shizun has always been kind to him and always loved him is simply euphoric. SQQ might notice him acting different and ask him about it, which might lead to a conversation—where SQQ is terrified at first, but relieved and simply relaxed by the end. He truly doesn’t mind being Shen Qingqiu and living what is technically a lie, but it’s… lovely to let his guard down a little around his husband, even if by this point “Shen Qingqiu” is no longer a mask he has to hide behind.

(Being post-canon is also fun because binghe can think back to the mausoleum and go “wow. maybe this should have been obvious.”)

Alternatively, I LOVE the idea that this happens earlier, during the 5 years where SQQ is dead. Rather than excitement and giddiness at solving a puzzle and figuring out more about his beloved, Binghe feels only grief and a slow horror as the pieces fall into place.

Maybe he still doesn’t know why his shizun pushed him into the abyss, but if none of the abuse he suffered was actually at his hands, if shizun truly was only ever kind to him… at the least he can begin to understand why his shizun might have sacrificed himself for him.

When he corners SQH this time, it’s with real anger, laced with fear and regret. SQH’s panicked answers give him enough information to piece together that SQQ likely didn’t have a choice in pushing him into the abyss.

So he wallows. His beloved never once tried to hurt him, was always kind to him and protected him. Likely knew he would escape the abyss alive. And he repaid that with threats and coercion, and drove his shizun to his death.

Years later, when he is in a dream and suddenly realises that his shizun is real, he doesn’t slowly smirk and begin to plot. He instead falls to his knees, gripping tightly to his shizun’s clothing and sobbing—much to SQQ’s confusion. But, still slightly numb with the whiplash of being kissed clumsily without warning and then suddenly cried on by a man he’s convinced is going to kill him, all SQQ can do is gently pat his disciple’s head.

#bingqiu #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #scum villain’s self saving system #shang qinghua #i was reading tossawary’s “if it can be destroyed”#and had the thought that. hm.#what if lbh saw something like this.#what if sqq’s system reveal was actually airplane’s system reveal #i think i meant to make sqh and moshang more relevant here oops #they’re having their own little relationship crisis on the side. binghe’s not going to interfere with that mess #writing

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sporkfingers · 2 years ago

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Some Tang Sanzang concept art that I don’t think I’ll finish anytime soon, but whateva

The scar on his head is from a spat with wukong gone wrong, spur of the moment which he regretted after he realized what he had done-

he waited for his sifu to use the fillet tightening sultra to punish him, he’s shaking, apologizing profusely in a small voice. To his surprise he doesn’t feel the painstaking ache of the band squeezing. Instead, when he looks up he finds Tripitaka, his sifu, looking at him with a horrified look on his face. But…. He’s not scared of wukong… he’s scared of himself, if he could cause such a reaction in this godly simian, a demon that the heavens feared, then…what he had been doing…it wasn’t right, it couldn’t be.

-Lololol that’s my head canon/ my own home brew story of Jttw that I’ve been making in my mind, I like to imagine that’s the point where they’re relationship starts to turn for the better and instead of reluctant companions they become friends who wish to protect each other in every way, no matter the cost. They are representative of the mind and the heart, like in most cases they clash and argue, resent and fear each other, but when finding balance and harmony throughout their journey the mind and heart grow closer and work as one. They’re relationship to me is something more than friendship, it’s love but not romantic love, but it’s also not familial love like a father and son, though some translations of the book describe their relationship as such I’d like to think of it as something deeper. Again not romantic kissy love. These babes are Buddhists lololol but it is more than friendship. I might post my version of the story on here and you can interpret as you please, father son, a couple, friends, enemies. But know that in the end what him and sun wukong have is complex, it can not be summed up in one word. At least that’s my take on them,

Also the other scars are from demons, getting captured and such, the scar between his eyebrows he got as a baby, and the read on his wrists are from rope burn, again from being tied up and captured.

I like to see the monk as having a fit build despite acting and appearing weak, though he does not know what to do with this rocking bod he has. (This drawing was inspired by gidget… I loved their reference for their tang and decided I would make my own concept sheet depicting his scars and body type as well.)

I want to start posting my dynamic stuff on here and actually drawing my Jttw ideas… I just get really perfectionist about them and end up only liking the art after a year goes by and it’s too late to post them….

If you made it here tell me what you think, I’ve spent like 5 minutes writing this and my cat is chirping angrily at me cause she wants me to pet her lolololol so pouty, my cute baby is throwing a fit

Sorry if you think these takes are trash it’s just my headcanons, they might change overtime though

#jttw #journey to the west #tang sanzang #tripitaka #jttw tripitaka #jttw tang sanzang #jttw fanart

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mohaanaad · 3 months ago

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Urgent

Read it once in your life, and never regret it. ✋✅

Do you feel bored of the posts asking for help from Gaza? You’re right, but imagine our situation as we live this war day after day for 13 months. Do you think we’re tired too?!!

After/before

This is my little girl. She is dying of hunger. She is dying from the bombing and the siege. We are living in famine. There is no food or drink. This little girl is appealing to you for help. Please help us so that we can feed these children.

https://gofund.me/80aa4a5c

Look at my children, how they lived before the war. But now I can't feed them. I can't buy any of the necessities of life because of the war.

Please share our campaign with your family and friends. This will help us reach those who can help us directly. Be the reason to bring hope back to our hearts

This is my martyred brother. We lost him in this damned war. I hope you can help us with a donation, even if it's small.

I know you share my story out of love and humanity, and I am truly grateful for that. 🙏💚

The painful truth is sharing alone does not feed the hungry or provide medicine for the sick.💔

Please, don’t just watch or share. Even a small donation could be a lifeline for a hungry child or a suffering patient. 🙏

Don’t close your eyes to our suffering. We are calling upon your humanity.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #536 )✅️

@seasonofprophecy @northgazaupdates2 @a-sky-of-diamonds @90-ghost @ankle-beez @ @sayruq @neptunering @flower-tea-fairies @a-shade-of-blue @sar-soor @paper-mario-wiki @gazanarchive @writerqueenofjewels @the-baller-g-fib-blog @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @just-shower-thoughts @girlinafairytalelovestory @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness-blog @maoistyuri @dykesbat @acepumpkinpatrick @feluka-blog-blog @kordeliiius @queerstudiesnatural @the-bastard-king @aria-ashryver @malcriada @bat-luun @mangocheesecakes @nightowlssleep @self-hating-zionist @staretes @friendshapedplant @yokohama-crackhouse @omiteo777@donothing-nothingworks @fantasticfilmfanatic-123 @katamariwar @woohoo2001 @yesitsanusha @a-shade-of-blue @feluka-blog-blog @noble-kale @collageadjacent @aleciosun @khizuo @sayruq @malcriada @palestinegenocide @sar-soor @akajustmerry @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @tortiefrancis @divortion @visenyasdragon @kordeliiius @falesten-iw @troythecatfish @theropoda @tamamita @baby-girl-aaron-dessner-deactiv @junglejim4322 @jonesthebonelord @lordmimi @90-ghost @writerqueenofjewels @choccybug @variantsofblue-deactivated20250 @zigcarnivorous @skricrich-yellowtooth @lonniemachin @thatsonehellofabird @ashwantsafreepalestine @heritageposts @mitzle @rubitheracoon

#@gaza #free palestine #cats of tumblr #ieri shoko #jujutsu kaisen #please help #help gaza #save gaza #save palestine #severance #gaza under attack

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anonithemousse · 3 months ago

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The Magnus Archives Animated Update 3# - Little bit of everything

Greetings 👋

I started writing this post around Easter, but I put it off, because I needed some time to recover.

Yes, I finished The Magnus Archives. And yes, despite expecting this type of ending by looking at what genre it is, I was still completely devastated. I mean 3 days of being zombie with eyes red from random whailing.

I don't regret listening to this podcast though. This story is amazing in many levels and it would take me ages to write all my thoughts.

In short, general summary:

Narration - This is my first time listening to narrative podcast, so I like how this medium was used to tell the story, both from read statements and characters' experiences. You can get a clear idea of what's happening, or confuse viewer just as much as the characters are in current situation.

Voice Acting - Everyone did great job by delivering played characters' personalities and emotions just with voice. Jonny/Jon really did the job here especially. The stories, even if given second-hand story-wise, feel genuine with how Jon delivers the feelings of person giving the statement. You can easily forget you're listening to just one voice for entire episode.

Setup - The idea for world and how the horrors work has potential, yet the exploration is properly limited to what characters can really experience and comprehend. Since this is horror, fear relies on how much (or how little) you know about the danger and so not all mysteries will be trully solved. You will still get lot of side stories nicely unwrapped and concluded with satisfaction.

Characters - What I like about them the most is they all are multidimensional. It's clear they all have different points of view, they have flaws, they make mistakes. They're not superheroes, but people who try to figure things out and won't always suceed. Some dynamics hurt, but they're also well settled in circumstances and personalities. Even though it hurts to see characters in conflict with each other, I can understand behaviour of each.

I also really liked how relationship between Jon Sims and Martin Blackwood evolved throughout the series. It wasn't in main focus for most of the series, but there were enough clues to see them bonding, at least to me.

The genuine worry of Jon for Martin in Season 4, but not butting into his business, because he believes Martin knows what he's doing? I loved that.

And their dynamics in Season 5? Wonderful. I think this is what I felt lacking in many relationships I've seen over years. They communicate, they address issues, they set boundaries, they listen to each other. Well, it doesn't sound that simple and perfect when put in these words, their relationship is more complex than that. But it's genuine. No foul play, just two people trully caring for each other and listening to other's feeling, doing their best.

I usually am passive towards couples in fiction, but TMA just awoken something in me. I think most of the time the couples I've seen were... ingenuine...? Unhealthy? Shallow? Cliche? The other ships I really liked are Ruby and Sapphire (Steven Universe), Luz and Amity (The Owl House) or Balister and Ambrosius (Nimona) for exactly reasons mentioned above.

So yeah, given that plus my devastation after TMA finale, I spent last month mostly drawing Jon and Martin to cope. The main goal remained, to find the fitting designs, but it also made me explore their personalities and relationship dynamics. You can see in my recent posts most of the results. I regret nothing, hehe!

But there's more! I drew other characters as well, whenever I felt like it. They've been shared in separate posts as well, riiight here.

There's lot for me to discover and creative within The Magnus Archives territory and it's hard to predict what next turn my journey will take at this point. I will not slow down, nonetheless!

That's all from me, for now. You can expect more drawings or rambling.

Stay tuned and stay creative! 🎨

#character design #fanart #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #tma #animation #concept art #martin blackwood #art #journal entry #review #podcast #writer community

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scottxlogan · 4 months ago

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Get to Know Your Author

Get to know your author

Tagged by @mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea (Thanks for the tag)

1. How many works on AO3? 345

2. Total AO3 word count? 6,632,998 (Yeah I've written a lot through the years)

3. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Under Your Spell (pairing Scott/Logan, Rating E) While on a mission Logan’s deviation from the objective takes him down a surprising path when he finds himself suddenly overtaken with thoughts of Scott Summers.

Ever After (Pairing: Scott/Logan, Rating T) Post Days of Future Past timeline Logan awakens to find himself in a very different place than the one he left.

The Confession (Pairing: Scott/Logan, Rating E) After a night of drinking with Logan, Scott makes quite a few drunken confessions in an attempt to coax Logan into sleeping with him. The next morning Scott faces the aftermath of his actions humiliated and concerned about what truly happened the night before.

Uninvited (pairing Scott/Logan, Rating M) An eighteen year old Scott Summers goes on a mission that end up horribly wrong. When he ends up stranded in Canada away from his team in bitter weather conditions he has a chance encounter that causes him to cross paths with Logan. Logan takes Scott in and grudgingly offers to help Scott find his way back to his team. However, before that can happen the two make surprising discoveries about one another that leads to an undeniable attraction and uncovers a history of violence behind them at the hands of William Stryker. (Set in between Wolverine Origins and the original X-Men film; written as a loose prequel to another fan work I did called Starting Over)

The Key To the Past (pairing Scott/Logan, Rating E) Post Days of Future Past Charles Xavier sends his group of teenage mutants out in search of a man who once helped him not so long ago. When the group led by Scott Summers finds their way to the mystery mutant, Scott finds himself wrapped up in a situation he isn’t quite prepared for when his past, present and future all collide.

4 What fandoms do you write for? Marvel, X-Men, Avengers mostly. I've done characters outside of this fandom in the past, but not in a while. Mostly just things within that context.

5 Do you respond to comments? Always. It might take me a moment but when someone leaves me a comment I always respond to them. Comments are what keeps the creative fires alive.

6 Fic with the angstiest ending? I'm such a sucker for happy endings that it's hard for me to write an angsty ending, but in this particular one shot I did and it ended on such an angsty note. Of course I did write a follow up one shot that didn't end so angsty, but this one is probably the most angsty thing I've ever written: The End (Pairing: Scott/Logan, Rating T) Logan’s latest outburst during a training session leaves Scott discovering just how unhappy Logan is in their current living arrangement with Jean. Unable to keep carrying on the way he has been Logan calls it quits on his relationship with Scott. Desperate to make Logan stay, Scott makes one last appeal for his heart.

Runner Up would be this Bucky-centric Stucky angst I did forever ago:

Gone (Pairing: Steve/Bucky, Rating T) Bucky Barnes is haunted by a life of pain and misery, but on a night surrounded by fear he finds himself longing for the one thing he can never have.

7 Fic with the happiest ending? Probably Ever After that was listed above for Scogan, but just to mix it up a bit, I think I'll throw in one of my WinterIron pieces that had a happy ending after an angst filled journey to reach happily ever after :)

Home Again (Bucky/Tony, Rating M) Bucky returns from a grueling mission to his new best friend Alpine. He begins pondering the path he’s been on after facing the reality that some wounds can never truly be healed. In the height of his exhaustion, Bucky comes face to face with the last person that he ever anticipated seeing again in this lifetime or any other. When one of his biggest regrets manifests before him in impossible ways, will Bucky find the strength to make up for the mistakes of the past and find something even more profound along the way?

8 Do you get hate? I have written for a long time and never really got hate until I started writing WinterIron (Tony/Bucky) fic. I got so much hate from an anti that every day for 6 months+ I was getting death threats and a lot of horrific comments sent my way. I tried to be polite with the person, tried to offer up alternatives to spreading hate, but ultimate after that abuse I wound up closing off my anon asks after having Tumblr for years and never wanting to because I enjoyed allowing anons the opportunity to reach out. I've also put my WinterIron fics under moderation which is sad because fandom should be a celebration of fun for those who enjoy it.

9 Do you write smut? Yes, I have and if you look at my AO3 you can see it's there.

10 Have you ever co-written a fic? Yes, I've co-authored a couple of fics with @mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea and I've participated in a few Round Robins through the years which are always an adventure.

11 All time favorite ship? I'd have to say it's Scogan (Scott/Logan). I love a lot of other ships and ship both characters in other places to, but that's been the longest lasting ship for me that's brought me joy through the years. I don't always write them as I love lots of other ships, but they will always be near and dear to my heart regardless of my other fandom loves.

12 WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh you know I never say never because I've been trying to make this year about finishing fics that absolutely should reach an ending. I found that I have 20 WIPs on AO3 that I want to find a way to finish one day (there were 22 a few months ago and one of them was started a decade ago so I am working on it). I don't want to close the door on unfinished fics because at this point I'd like to say never say never to the reaching an ending.

13 Writing strengths? I love world building and working through the dynamics of a relationship between two characters. My favorite types to write are characters who aren't perfect and have flaws, who make mistakes and then spent time trying to untangle the messes they have gotten themselves into as it's fun to dip into their heads and see what they want to say/do. So for me I think it's fun to step in and see where the characters take me. I'm also good at cliffhangers apparently lol.

14 Writing weaknesses? I tend to get frustrated when there's no response in general to my writing. I'd like to say I rise above it, but when there's literally no response or likes to something it makes me second guess what I'm doing and reconsider if something is worth continuing. In a lot of instances in WIPs when I had no engagement I felt as if it wasn't worth pursuing because people weren't responding to it and those who were were offering up hate to just simply troll. It's a sad day when the trolls are the ones speaking up in fandom, but when it reaches that point where no one else has anything nice to say it stifled the creative process. Maybe that's not a writing weakness, but that's something that really has been bothering me as of late with writing/art in general. If you want a 'technical' answer I think my biggest weakness is I get these 'big' ideas that go beyond where my time allows and I want to see them all through but sometimes veer off into other stories because the idea is so big I'm focused too hard on how to make it 'perfect' in it's execution.

Tagging: @sgfic, @naughtyneganjdm, @stormxpadme, @chaoticgardenbread, @pandagirl45, @psychiccatpanda, @polizwrites, @scottcyclopssummers, @shewhowillrise, @poepoe-thebunny, @strangenewwords, @morrow-dim, @rowinablx @riotwritesthingsand absolutely anyone else who would like to participate. No one is under any obligation to respond, but I figured I would toss it out there to anyone who might be interested :)

#ask meme #know your author #writing #ask #just because #anyone can respond #winteriron #scogan #stucky #scott summers #james howlett #cyclops #wolverine #bucky barnes #tony stark #writing stuff

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saintsir4n · 1 year ago

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Hewwo! Currently I have an unnatural obsession with Brian O’Conner atm n I read ALL that u have to post on him. So can u make some 1shots on the newest addition to the family and Carson n Brian navigate life as new parents, maybe even throw a little vacation for the 2 of them while rest r taking care of baby Jessie😘

BABY STEPS

WARNINGS: mentions of postpartum depression and angst.

——

“No, no, Jessie don’t touch mama’s hair when you’re trying to — and you’ve done it,” Carson groaned, when some baby food got in her hair. Jessie babbled in her high chair. A silicone bib was wrapped around her little neck and a confused look was written on her chubby face. “Now it’s all in my braids.”

“Digging the new look,” Brian teased as he jogged into the room, having heard his wife’s yell. The 13 month year old, squealed when she saw her dad. “Jessie, have you been causing trouble? You know your mommy’s hair is her pride and joy.”

“Don’t say that Brian," Carson grumbled out, trying to clean out her braids.

His jokes only irritated her, he knew that.

“She won’t know," Brian didn't see the harm in trying to lighten the mood and picked up their daughter after taking off her bib, smiling brightly and broadly when she mirrored his experience with her baby teeth.

“She understands more than you think. She’s got your big beady eyes — I’m kidding baby, you know I think they’re adorable,” she quickly corrected herself upon catching her daughter's frown. “See.”

“Don’t mock her," Brian playfully scolded, “Don’t mock me.” he turned to his princess, tickling her tummy. “Mommy’s being mean ain’t she?”

“She likes you more than me," Carson shrugged, standing up and pinning her hair up.

Brian quietly scoffed as he gently bounced their daughter, “No, she doesn’t.” he never understood why she kept saying that. “She loves us equally. You just gotta be more patient with her.”

“It’s easy for you to say that, you leave the house more than I do.”

Brian sighed, “You know what I mean. Just be more …”

“Patient?” Carson snapped back, trying to clean up the mess their daughter made.

All day, every day she felt exhausted, tired and even more frustrated with everything, especially with her husband, which meant they were rarely intimate.

“Maybe next time you feed her you tie up your hair I don’t know — wait, Sonny," he called out, watching as she folded her arms and glowered at him.

“I don’t need your shit right now Brian," she hissed, trying not to startle their daughter who picked up more words recently. “You aren’t here every day. I have to do so much around the house. We have a dog that does as much damage as our daughter —“

“— she doesn’t cause damage. Ultra’s a dog and she’s a baby what did you expect?” Brian exclaimed.

Jessie stared between them in confusion as she was placed back in her highchair.

“More support. I need more help from you. That’s what I expected. No, in fact, that’s what you promised me.” She had expressed to him that they would share equal responsibilities before they decided to keep their baby. She feared motherhood because she never had a mom growing up. Brian’s parents were flaky so he told her that they would do their best together. At times she would regret agreeing. “Every day I have to tidy up 5 times. I wake up early to her cries and screams, I prepare her food, prepare the dog's food, our food, all while you’re out —“

“Working? Providing for us. And everything you said, that’s what you’re supposed to do. That’s your job.”

Brian's eyes snapped shut when he realised his mistake.

Carson slowly nodded to herself, “Wow. Thanks, Brian.”

“You know what I mean," he tried, staring at her apologetically, "I'm sorry."

“Yeah, I do know what you mean," Carson exhaled. “Just forget I said anything. Jessie needs to be put down for her nap.”

She approached their daughter, missing the confusion on her husband's face.

“She just ate isn’t that a bit too soon?”

Carson carefully picked up Jessie, who quickly started fussing. Stay calm, please stay calm. She would tell herself and Jessie. Sometimes she wouldn't think of anything else.

“I’ve got her on a schedule. She needs to stick with it so I can get some me time because asking you for help is too much apparently," she gritted, not hearing the whimpering from Jessie.

“Don’t get like that, I’m trying to help when I can," Brian threw his hands up in the air.

“Well, it’s not good enough. You’re not here for me. Not as much as you promised. And some days I am losing my fucking —“ Jessie started to cry, “No. No, don't cry.”

“It’s okay baby,” Brian neared them, taking her tiny hand as tears streamed down her face.

Jessie didn't want to be held, no, she didn't want to be in her mom's arms. That was clear.

“I’m sorry Jess," Carson repeated, for what felt like an hour.

But only a minute went by.

She wanted to cry. She wanted nothing more than to cry, but she couldn't she had other things to do. Her throat was drying up, and her eyes blinking rapidly.

Only when Brian took Jessie did she start to calm down.

Carson had to tear her eyes away from the soft and tender sight.

Brian was a good dad. He loved singing and playing with his daughter whenever he could.

And it only made Carson feel worse.

“She’s good, aren't you princess?" Brian bounced her, "I’ll put her down and we can talk.”

Carson sat down in her chair, with tears pooling in her eyes. She hated it, not now, go away, please. Fuck, she felt exhausted, useless, confused.

Brian turned to his wife, panicking at the sadness flashing over her face. She turned so he wouldn’t see, but he could.

“What’s the point?” Carson sighed, rubbing her face, “Nothing's gonna change.”

“I wanna help," Brian knew he needed to do more.

“Until you can’t and it’s me that’s left to do everything. Like I’m supposed to right?” Carson drawled with a sniffle and stood up again.

“Sonny, can you just wait a second. I’m sorry about what I said.”

Carson waved him off, “I’m going to go and get this food out of my hair. You know, my pride and joy, right?"

Brian cursed herself when she left the room. He offered his daughter a small smile when she leaned her head against his shoulder and eyes drooped.

Nap time.

He could do that, he could follow his wife's schedule, even if it was a little. He needed to help.

He put down Jessie in her Princess crib. Princess Jasmine posters were all over the room, she even had a little doll that she clung to.

Brian pressed a kiss to her head as she drifted to sleep, "Daddy loves you. Mommy loves you too. She's tired and Daddy needs to do more."

Shortly after he left the nursery and pulled out his phone, looking around before dialling.

“Hey," he greeted, glad that his wife was locked away in their room.

“Wassup Brian?” Suki's voice tore through the phone.

“I need some help. Carson needs to get out for a few days. The house is driving her crazy.”

“The house or you?”

“Alright, alright, I was thinking of going on a trip just us two. You up babysitting, and looking after Ultra?”

“Sure, you paying me right," he heard her laughing.

Brian groaned, “Suki.”

“Me and Tej can do it. Don’t worry. Just book the trip and pack her bags. I know she needs this.”

Brian frowned, “What’s she said?”

“Mind your business. Now go and talk to your wife.”

——

a/n:

thank you for the suggestion! it was so cute to write. I didn’t expect it to turn so angsty, but I kinda feel like this is where their early stages of parenthood would go to, considering Brian would work and Carson would stay at home. They’re living a normalish life and Carson is having to deal with so much.

I also feel like if Brian planned a trip to go somewhere, he would feel like that would solve everything but Carson might just get worse. She feels like she doesn’t have his support because he simply isn’t there all the time.

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borderline-culture-is · 4 months ago

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God. Ok, I might regret this when I'm actually not going though a meltdown but I need to vent. No anon, no lying.

I personally believe this is about my mental issues, which includes my BPD traits. This is why I'm posting this here. Also it's a cry for help, it's a cry for validation.

Hi, my name is Cat (on the internet, 🍬🐈‍⬛, candy cat, referring to my main username) this blog was supposed to be about gaming, but my life went downhill (around other good stuff that happened) and I already posted vents on TS4 so I thought I might as well keep it as my main Tumblr account.

I never showed myself with no fear cause people always saw me as the edgy one who did for attention, like, an NT. Who. Romanticized shit like this. I post and comment stuff referring to that, I feel like a stereotype, my parents and other adults in my life made me feel like that.

They act as if everything I go through is. How my teacher put it yesterday, hysterical. I have a "hysterical" mindset. All my traumas, problems and disability comes from that. Nothing else. I am a normal person, an neurotypical creating problems. I feel like. People here treat me that way too. Because the only thing I'm diagnosed to is autism. I don't have a place to speak about cluster b issues. Even though. The entirety of my life, I did not only relate to, but acted as such.

I am the kid who didn't relate to others, the one people looked at and thought "she's weird" "she's a attention seeking poser". As a teenager I would look back at 5 year old me and think "my emo phase came so early and it's still going strongly' and a way to validate myself from being different from the different people. At 12 to 14 I was really aggressive. I would hurt people, choke them, break their things, almost break their arms, I'd say proudly I'd become a serial killer (and duh I liked creepypasta bc of the revenge porn.), people called me a psychopath. I'd proudly wear that label. Of course, I didn't do it for attention, I was being true to myself, really. I didn't like the system, I don't like people and yes I did cry myself to sleep almost every night, specially when I felt abandoned, when I knew something was wrong with me and I didn't know what. No one ever took my behavior seriously. I was a kid going through puberty, I was going to grow out of it. This... "Puberty" lasted 14 years. Fourteen. Years.

After 14, something changed. Everyone I knew at school moved out. I had a clean slate. I looked myself in the mirror, I thought back at how people treated me and I thought "you know what, I'm cute, I like cute things and I do not. Want to make friends. I do not need friends, I need to work on myself." And so I did. I started wearing cuter things, I embraced the childish things that was taken away from me. I expressed myself how I wanted to express, after all, people never saw me, they won't start seeing me just because of how I look. Eventually I broke my second rule, I made friends, but my initial uninterest was what made these friendships last to this day, I didn't rush to get closer to them, and that's what made it. I was a new person, but still with the impulses, the hate.

The pandemic happened. I had to deal with my parents more, all the pent up anger flared, many times, I broke things, I hurt my parents. I fucked over many friendships.

Everything, everything in my life till I was 14 came back. I was still antisocial, I still did every. Single. Edgy shit I did back then. (Besides reading creepypastas). I did not grow out of it. I was HOLDING IT BACK all this time. I'm not edgy because I want to, this is PART OF ME. I am NOT edgy, something is deeply wrong with me. I want to kill and it's not "haha this person is really annoying" I PLANNED murders countless times, I repeated the act in my head and EVERY TIME I talked myself out of it, was because I didn't want the consequences. That's all.

But no. I'm a neurotypical. I'm an autist that thinks psychopaths are cute. Because. Doesn't matter how many times I relate to pwBPD, pwASPD and pwNPD, I will NEVER be one of you, because not only I was conditioned to not believe ANYTHING bad ever happened to me, I'm just a HYSTERICAL WOMAN who needs attention from her parents that "aren't actually neglectful". The doctors said it themselves. I just have depression. That's all I have, that's all I will ever have.

My feelings are fake. I'm normal.

sending hugs if you want them

#borderline culture is #tw vent #cw vent #- 🍬🐈‍⬛

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sosomohanad1996 · 3 months ago

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Urgent

Read it once in your life, and never regret it. ✋✅

Do you feel bored of the posts asking for help from Gaza? You’re right, but imagine our situation as we live this war day after day for 13 months. Do you think we’re tired too?!!

After

Before

Look at my children, how they lived before the war. But now I can't feed them. I can't buy any of the necessities of life because of the war.

Please share our campaign with your family and friends. This will help us reach those who can help us directly. Be the reason to bring hope back to our hearts

This is my martyred brother. We lost him in this damned war. I hope you can help us with a donation, even if it's small.

I know you share my story out of love and humanity, and I am truly grateful for that. 🙏💚

The painful truth is sharing alone does not feed the hungry or provide medicine for the sick.💔

Please, don’t just watch or share. Even a small donation could be a lifeline for a hungry child or a suffering patient. 🙏

Don’t close your eyes to our suffering. We are calling upon your humanity.

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #536 )✅️

@donothing-nothingworks @fantasticfilmfanatic-123 @katamariwar @woohoo2001 @yesitsanusha @a-shade-of-blue @noble-kale @collageadjacent @aleciosun @khizuo @sayruq @palestinegenocide @sar-soor @akajustmerry @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @tortiefrancis @divortion @visenyasdragon @kordeliiius @falesten-iw @troythecatfish @theropoda @tamamita @baby-girl-aaron-dessner-deactiv @junglejim4322 @jonesthebonelord @lordmimi @90-ghost @writerqueenofjewels @choccybug @variantsofblue-deactivated20250 @zigcarnivorous @skricrich-yellowtooth @lonniemachin @thatsonehellofabird @ashwantsafreepalestine @heritageposts @mitzle @rubitheracoon @timetravellingkitty @deathlonging @mahoushojoe @tamamita @idontmindifuforgetme @commissions4aid-international @vague-humanoid @evillesbianvillainarchive @ot3 @slicedblackolives @paper-mario-wiki

#free palestine #gaza strip #artists on tumblr #save gaza #severance #free gaza #gaza genocide #taylor swift #jujutsu kaisen #gaza under attack

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laxmiree · 1 year ago

Text

[CN] MLQC’s Lucien - Rebirth Date - English Translation [3/3]

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

No Man's Land Solo SSR Event | Rebirth Date Part 1 | Date Part 2 | Date Part 3 (You're here!) | Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

I can't help but laugh, placing my hand in his as if placing both my life and death in his hand.

I've never felt so free and happy. All the unknowns seem to have transformed into challenges at this moment, and I want to overcomes them.

Translation under the cut!

Previous Part=> [Click Here]

—[Part 4]—

Lucien: Radiation, disasters, and the like are merely puzzles posed by objective reality, and we are the problem solvers.

Lucien: Only in this way do we qualify to step onto a new level.

His voice is exceptionally gentle, accompanied by the buzzing sound of an electric current that sends shivers down my spine.

MC: ...Are you going to kill me?

Lucien: [chuckles] Do you want me to?

He lowers the machine in his hand, bringing the rapidly spinning chainsaw blade dangerously close to my neck.

Lucien: I can dismember your limbs, but that won’t be particularly useful to me right now.

Lucien: I can extract your brain intact and keep it active for a certain period of time. Maybe you would still be considered 'alive' in some biological sense.

Lucien: Of course, the most important thing is your heart and... your Evol 'core'.

Lucien: I've been curious for a long time about how it works, allowing you to withstand any severe radiation threat and survive until now.

Lucien: Maybe when I cut you open, there will be an answer to all this. What do you think?

I can feel the intense wind pressure from the chainsaw pressing down on all my nerves, but at the same time, it seems that an even more majestic and surging force is roaring in my chest.

My mind is almost blank, leaving only some kind of instinct.

MC: ....No, you are wrong.

MC: If I die, you won't get any answers.

At this moment, I seem to see something more clearly.

MC: And... it's not you who is studying me to carry out so-called 'evolution', but rather me using you to complete ‘change’.

The corners of his mouth curve into a more pronounced arc.

Lucien: Is that so? But it seems I have the opportunity to lock you up again at any time.

Lucien: I have many ways to keep you from going anywhere, even... to take away your right to choose death.

MC: Then go ahead and try. Just hope you don't die too soon from my radiation.

MC: Just like right now, you've been around me without any protection for too long.

In this gamble, that ever-surging power now settles in my heart. It feels unfamiliar to me, yet at this moment, it seems to belong to me completely.

His deep eyes fill with more laughter. He elegantly sets the machine aside, squats down, and places his hands on both sides of the bag.

His warm breath hits my face, and he seems like another cage, closing in on me even more.

Lucien: Do you know? Ten years ago, your data readings fluctuated wildly. They thought it was due to your unstable condition, but I suspected back then that it was because of ‘fear’.

Lucien: Humans can feel the existence of life through extreme fear. They will instinctively want to protect themselves, and that drive will generate immense energy.

Lucien: Back then, my knowledge and skills were far from sufficient to fully uncover everything about you, so I concluded... that we both needed some time.

Lucien: [whispers] But later, I regretted it. Actually, I shouldn't have let you go back then.

His gentle voice brushes past my ear like a feather, making me instinctively hold my breath.

Something heavy and complex seems to be shedding its outer shell, revealing a more genuine and indescribable side to me.

Lucien: A lot of time was wasted, so when you appeared before me, I was very happy.

Lucien: And you're slowly starting to trust me, which is good.

MC: So everything over the past six months... was it all your facade?

MC: To make me truly feel fear?

Lucien: [chuckles] No, I want you to always remember the feeling you just had.

His noticeably cold fingertips brush my cheek, meticulously tracing a certain outline.

Lucien: You should have been constantly thinking, striving to survive, and seeing many scenes.

Lucien: Remember how you used that power and then tame it.

Lucien: Only then will you be complete.

A pair of calm abysses engulf me, tempting me to gaze upon what lies hidden deep beneath the surface-

A soul that is pure yet obsessive, mad yet patient.

Lucien: Besides, I have never pretended in front of you. Just because you don’t see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Lucien: Our time is running out. I think it's a good idea to use myself as a stepping stone for change.

Lucien: After all, solving the problem is the key to everything, and I don't want to cause you too much pain.

I freeze momentarily, suddenly realizing something, and repeatedly examine his entire body.

The person in front of me has no skin ulcers, looks mentally stable, and everything seems normal…

MC: Could it be that you…

Lucien: I am my own test subject, and the facts prove that I have succeeded.

He lifts his palm, revealing faint flickering motes of light. I can sense a power radiating from within.

Lucien: As I've mentioned before, your body seems to possess a sort of 'core' or 'field'.

Lucien: Your core affects the radiation energy, either absorbing or repelling it; hence, you remain unaffected.

Lucien: And I used the power you unleashed earlier to replicate a similar 'field'.

Flecks of excitement dance in his eyes as he arrogantly retracts his fingertips.

Lucien: [chuckles] If my hypothesis is correct, in a few days, I will be able to create a 'core' with a near-identical operating mechanism in a few days.

Lucien: I might soon be able to research the data from the heavily contaminated areas myself, including... the machines there.

With that, he rises to his feet, carefully placing various organs and components into separate jars before turning his head back.

Lucien: I previously asked you, 'Is death the end?' Do you remember your answer?

MC: ...I remember.

Lucien: I don't think death is the end.

He lets out a soft chuckle tinged with an air of undeniable arrogance.

Lucien: No one here cares about death, because it's too commonplace, and also because they don't understand the value of death.

Watching his retreating figure without turning his head, I instinctively crawl out of the black bag.

I feel as if I've just experienced death and have been reborn with new flesh and blood in this moment.

I want to know what he means and see how far he can go.

✂———————–

Following his figure, I enter a room on the side of the deep pit. Jars of all shapes and sizes are placed in the dimly lit environment.

The wall is covered with a dense jumble of numbers and changing curves, new numbers and symbols overlapping the old marks, layer upon layer.

I look around in surprise, momentarily at a loss for words.

MC: These... are all your doing?

Lucien: Not entirely, I just took over them.

He places the jars on different shelves and writes new numbers in one spot.

Lucien: Someone else conducted experiments here before, leaving behind many things and data. There are always predecessors doing similar things, just like the information you brought back.

Lucien: I just found them, researched and revised their conclusions, and came up with my own answers.

MC: How do you know that someone else will do the same thing…?

Lucien: There will always be.

Lucien: There will always be those who are curious, questioning all the current definitions and conjectures, wanting to know how this world actually works.

Lucien: There are always things that spread wider and longer than diseases and death, leaving their mark on the world in various ways.

I stand there in a daze, Lucien is clearly standing in front of me, yet I feel like he is so far away.

In a world ravaged by wounds, his words sounded like a miracle, but he spoke them as if it were a matter of course.

At this moment, I suddenly have a premonition.

Even if Lucien disappears from the world one day, there will surely be someone who will sweep away the dust of time, pick up the whole box, and continue to climb upwards on this silent boulder.

Lucien: Aside from that, these corpses are also quite nutritious.

Having seemingly finished his preparations, Lucien spoke abruptly, causing my expression to change instantly.

✂———————–

Following his footsteps, I arrive at another dark, large building. I had never thought that the buildings next to the laboratory each had their own purpose.

Amidst the continuous rumbling, Lucien opens each black bag one by one and empties their contents into a deep pit, its contents and depth obscured from view.

Lucien: Corpses can be fermented by bacteria to produce biogas, which is a tremendous source of chemical energy.

Lucien: Moreover, improper handling of these corpses could lead to an outbreak of plague, resulting in even more deaths.

Unable to understand what he's saying, I stare into the depths of the pit for a long moment before turning my gaze towards Lucien.

MC: Have you been experimenting on the people in the city all this time?

Lucien: [chuckles] I don't deny it.

Faced with his somewhat ambiguous answer, I fall silent for a moment.

Lucien is both saving and experimenting. It seems as if the divine and the devil coexist paradoxically within him, making it impossible for me to define him in any way.

Lucien: The more people who survive, the more it proves that my path is the correct one.

Lucien: I deeply regret the loss of those who died, but I will only use their deaths to go further.

As we leave the building, the sky is so dark that no single star can be seen.

Lucien doesn't stop but walks towards the city.

Seeing this, I instinctively halt—I am not wearing my isolation suit, and my presence could harm the city's residents.

Lucien: [gently] It's okay, MC. Trust me.

He stands in the darkness yet extends an invitation to me like a burning flame.

Lucien: Let me show you what this world can be.

In the empty square, not a sliver of light is visible. Lucien takes out a small device, instantly illuminating his face. A small, dome-shaped black hole is also aimed at me.

MC: …!

Instinctively assuming it to be a weapon, I cover my neck and recoil half a step.

Unexpectedly, Lucien laughs and gestures with the device at me for quite a while. I instinctively try to escape his ‘target lock’, but it only makes his laughter more pronounced.

Finally, I can't resist moving closer. After he presses the button, I find myself appearing on the lit-up screen!

The me in the picture frame steps back in fear, nervously runs around, and finally moves closer out of curiosity.

MC: …What is this! So amazing!

Lucien: I don't know either. But since we've found it, it means someone invented it in this world.

Lucien: It has no significance for survival, yet it still exists.

With a gentle shake of the device, specks of light dance exuberantly in his eyes.

Lucien: How boring it would be if the only meaning of this world was survival.

My heart is racing, and the moment I take the device, it feels heavy.

I don't know what I pressed, but Lucien's face appears on the screen.

Lucien looks straight at me through the device.

Lucien: [softly] MC, do you know? From the moment you appeared before me, I realized that this world is actually full of color.

Lucien: So, I really want you to see what the world looks like through my eyes.

An unknown button press triggers a blinding flash of light that erupts in an instant, searing an imprint onto my retinas-

The whole world seems to be glowing.

Multicolored luminescence suffuses every corner of the city. The splendid and brilliant lights are like eternal fireworks, blooming with unparalleled beauty.

Zone X is lit up.

Shadowy figures emerge from the corners, their heads raised and eyes wide open.

??: ...Is this also a radiation tide?

??: It must be... it must be! Run! Otherwise, none of us will survive!

??: It hurts! I feel so much pain!!

??: Wait… City lord is over there!

??: City lord! Save us!!

Countless cries of clamor and anguish rise and fall, eyes full of pleading and struggle are cast in my direction.

Lucien: These are all my doing, they are just some lights that I turned on.

As those words settle, the entire square instantly falls silent.

??: There's no way so many lights would turn on in this world... you must be lying!

??: ...Really? Could it be that City Lord is just that powerful?

??: Run!!

In that fleeting moment, I seem to perceive a myriad of faces. Doubt, curiosity, anger, despair...

In the unfamiliar yet radiant scene of rebirth, something sprouts and grows amidst the ruins.

As someone charges forward with a roar, Lucien remains nonchalant, a smile still gracing his lips.

His eyes hold no trace of them.

Lucien: MC, the future awaiting everyone will never be peaceful; death and struggle will inevitably permeate the entirety of human history.

Lucien: But if, after enduring pain and struggle, one can gain the courage to face the truth, it will surely lead humanity to a further future.

MC: ...What kind of future?

Lucien: For example…

As blood splatters everywhere, I see Lucien proudly raise the corners of his mouth.

Lucien: You can stand in front of everyone just as ordinarily as this.

Lucien: Without restrictions, in a state of freedom.

Lucien: I think this future is just beginning.

Lucien extends his hand to me as he speaks.

I have never seen someone like this, standing before me in such a real and equal way, in the face of me who always brings death to others because of my radiation.

He has calculated everything and cut open everything, inviting me to embark on an unknown and long journey together.

Almost without hesitation, I step forward and grasp that hand, letting the blood stains on it also stain my hand.

Since he has used himself and the future as bait, then I have absolutely no reason to give up.

MC: Lucien, is all of this tonight part of your bigger trap?

Lucien: [chuckles] What if it is?

I stare back at him deeply, the corners of my mouth curling into a smile.

MC: Then I will gladly accept it*.

With a dazzling halo around his arched eyebrows and eyes, he pulls my hand up and we start running together.

Lucien: The isolation membrane I placed on you only lasts for 15 minutes. "Miss Death" is about to come again.

As he speaks, he spreads his palm open with a serious demeanor. Despite being covered in blood, he appears as graceful as the wisest grand wizard from a book.

I can't help but laugh, placing my hand in his as if placing both my life and death in his hand.

MC: Pfft, don't you need to escape from me then?

Lucien: I don't need to.

He laughs casually, and there’s even a hint of anticipation.

Lucien: Death is one of my best nutrients.

The static dark screens served as a backdrop behind him. The neon light outlines his silhouette as if it could illuminate everything.

I subconsciously raise the device in my hand and aim it behind us-

Countless images of Lucien appear on the machines behind me. I excitedly sway it back and forth, and the pictures of the machine sway in real time along with my movements.

MC: You need to tell me what's happening when you return!

Lucien: I'd be happy to explain it to you.

MC: Then I also want to know the principle behind it and more!

Lucien: In that case, a certain student might need to put in a bit more effort outside of the experiments.

The sky starts to rain at some point, as if a joyful symphony is playing.

MC: Lucien, do you find this world interesting?

Lucien: [chuckles] Incredibly interesting.

MC: I'm starting to find it interesting too!

I've never felt so free and happy. All the unknowns seem to have transformed into challenges at this moment, and I want to overcome them.

MC: With Zone X being so bright, more people are bound to notice it, right?

Lucien: Probably, similar people will understand its significance. Some will come closer, and some will question it—

Lucien: But perhaps more and more areas will light up like this.

Lucien: The data you brought back contains a very special piece of information.

Lucien: It is said that there is a person in this world who can change everything. The recorder referred to her as — 'Queen'.

I was stunned for a moment and slowly stopped walking.

Lucien stands in front of me, still gazing at me with a gentle smile.

I look at our intertwined palms, and after a long while, I raise my head resolutely and hold his hand even tighter.

MC: If there really is someone who can change everything, I will be that person.

MC: I will be the 'Queen'.

Lucien smiles gently.

Lucien: Then I will witness your coronation.

He holds my hand, steps over the line between light and darkness, and merges into the darkness.

Lucien: Welcome to the new world.

—————Fin————–

[T/N]

*: The Chinese idiom 甘之如饴 (gān zhī rú yí) literally translates to "as sweet as syrup." It is used to describe someone who willingly endures hardship or difficulty, often with a sense of satisfaction or joy. Fun fact: it's also a reference to a line from Aquarium date, which EN server translates differently 🤧

[Lux's rambles corner]

Post-Apocalypse AU really ends with a BANG with this one date ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ. Suddenly, putting Lucien at the end makes sense because his dates signify the rebirth of the post-apocalyptic world. No matter how dark, bleak, and filthy the world is, there will always be hope, and there will always be people who try to bring everyone toward a better future 🥺

Anyway, let's talk about this date bit by bit, shall we? Although this kind of feels like a compressed main story, some things are different. Essentially, the first half of this date is filled with foreshadowing and world-building, while the other half is filled with revelation.

First of all, the date name 【新生之约】 is a reference to what XM said in S1 chapter 13-8: "However, you must believe that before things reach the worst point, everything can still be reborn and changed.". The words "reborn"/"rebirth" and "change" are essentially what this date is about.

In this post-apocalyptic world, abnormal radiation unleashed by the 1917 comet impact brings death and illness to everyone. Many scientists tried to research this matter and even went as far as to conduct human experiments. In this AU, Lucien is a “city lord” who also researches this matter, and MC is one of his test subjects. Zone X is considered one of the deadliest, where the people who come here are either at their wits' end, seeking death, or refusing to leave their homes.

[Radioactive Butterfly]

MC’s “CORE” power has an interesting twist on this date. Besides having some kind of power that can change the world, it also makes her deadly to others because her core not only repels the radiation but also absorbs it. I think one part from the [No Man’s Land] event perfectly paints MC’s unique situation on this date.

In Lucien's laboratory, I discovered an exceptionally beautiful butterfly with vibrant wings trapped inside a glass dome, gently fluttering its wings. A. Quietly admire it. B. Open the glass cover and release the butterfly.

If you choose A, Lucien appears behind MC and explains that the butterfly's wing color was caused by radiation, so while it was beautiful, it had to live its entire life under the glass dome. If you choose B, the lab radiation alarm blares because the radiation level inside the building has suddenly spiked several hundred times—it turns out that the butterfly is radioactive.

MC is in the same situation as the butterfly. Her ‘vibrant wings’ (core power) prevent her from living freely. She has to isolate herself from others to protect them. Her life has primarily been one of experimentation, treated as a tool for a future envisioned by many lunatic scientists. Most people don't see her as an equal, but rather as a means to an end.

For MC, Lucien is different from them in many ways.

….I asked Lucien why he never referred to me by my experiment number. Lucien also seemed to ponder for a moment, and then he simply said that perhaps I am not just an experimental subject or a creation.

Take note of how her question doesn't grant an immediate answer from Lucien because this habit is not deliberate; Lucien subconsciously regards her as more than just an ‘experiment subject.'

MC believes that he is different from those crazy scientists. He doesn't hurt her too much and even gives her some kind of small freedom by giving her an isolation suit that allows her to explore freely and interact with other people and living creatures without fear of hurting them. Although she doesn't fully trust him, she still sees him as the gentle and generous City Lord who tried his best to save his people.

But during one of their visits, seeing Lucien's unsettling composure as he tends to the horrific illness, MC perhaps begins to see the other side that Lucien hasn't let her see.

[Eros and Thanatos]

Their time is running out as the radiation tide gets worse in Zone X. And as what they call it, desperate times call for desperate measures. In order to push MC to control her power and free her, Lucien bets his own life with a pretty-much-staged reveal of his other side (i mean, come on, he’s been hiding the whole corpse thing for MONTHS, and you told me he clumsily forgot to clean up one day and conveniently leave traces of blood that can lead you to his dark basement thingy???)

Rather than using the dark side™ to explain his other side, I’ll just use Eros and Thanatos dual theory instinct.

Walking into the city, a man with a festering arm rushed out, accusing Lucien of not only failing to cure him but also making him neither human nor a ghost. Meanwhile, another person lying on a stretcher claimed that it was the city lord who had saved them.

If you choose to ask him, Lucien will react like this:

Lucien smiled and said that the truth shouldn't be told by him but depends on which truth I am willing to believe.

In the early 1910s, Sigmund Freud proposed the theory of Eros and Thanatos. This theory suggests two fundamental forces influencing human behavior:

Eros (Life Drive): Represents the instinct to create, bond, and preserve life. It encompasses sexual and social urges, as well as the will to survive.

Thanatos (Death Drive): Represents an unconscious drive towards self-destruction, aggression, and returning to an inanimate state. It manifests in destructive urges and aggression directed inwards or outwards.

It seems as if the divine and the devil coexist paradoxically within him, making it impossible for me to define him in any way.

As a character, Lucien embodies both Eros and Thanatos. His curiosity, thirst for knowledge, scientific pursuits, and care for life reflect Eros, while his willingness to use painful and deadly experiments even toward himself to achieve his goals and his anticipation of his death signify Thanatos. His Thanatos-driven action highlights a ruthless determination to achieve his objectives; essentially, you can call it his Ares’ side. Not only did they coexist, but both Eros and Thanatos instincts can blend as well. For example, through his use of corpses for biogas production, which is an approach to utilizing death for the benefit of life.

A pure, yet obsessive, mad, yet patient soul

His intentions and ideals are inherently good and pure. He is also a patient man, willing to wait for years for his research to bear fruit. Even if it doesn’t yield anything in his lifetime, it doesn’t matter to him, as he believes someone will continue his path. However, his obsession (in this context, 偏执 means ‘inflexible’ obsession/fixation with his ideal and truth of the world. It contains some stubbornness in it ahah) and madness drives him to do anything to achieve his goals. What he said in Season 1 Chapter 16 is proven true during this date—that he won't hesitate to sacrifice anyone, even himself, to advance the world. MC remains the sole exception to this, as she is the only person to whom he grants some freedom and choice in this matter. He won't sacrifice someone important to him.

[Philosophies of Death and Rebirth]

Speaking of death and life- of course Lucien’s date won’t be complete without some kind of philosophical discussion about them-

Lucien: Humans can feel the existence of life through extreme fear. They will instinctively want to protect themselves, and that drive will generate immense energy.

Around 200 years ago, Kierkegaard shared insights about human existence (Kierkegaard, 1983). He explained that humans are unique because we are aware of our existence and can reflect on ourselves. This awareness brings two emotions: awe and dread. We feel awe at the beauty of life and dread at the reality of death, which can come at any moment. Awe inspires us to live fully, seek love, make connections, and find meaning in life. On the other hand, Dread reminds us of death's constant presence and makes us even more aware of our existence.

MC: So everything over the past six months... was it all your facade?

MC: To make me truly feel fear?

Lucien: [chuckles] No, I want you to always remember the feeling you just had.

Lucien: You should have been constantly thinking, striving to survive, and seeing many scenes.

Lucien: Remember how you used that power and then tame it.

Lucien: Only then will you be complete.

Rather than making her feel fear, Lucien's goal is for her to fully control her own power. I think in the end, they're both using each other to complete their own goal; MC uses Lucien to complete her change, and Lucien copies MC's power so that he can research the radiation himself. It's a mutually beneficial cooperation. Which, although extreme (worst case scenario is that Lucien dead and MC be traumatized by the whole thing) it's arguably the least risky way according to Lucien's enigmatic working mind lol. Like, at least in the worst-case scenario, she won't be dead.

Interestingly, this part of Lucien's dialogue can be analyzed through Heidegger's concept of "being-toward-death."

Heidegger (1962) wrote, “If I take death into my life. Acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life—and only then will I be free to become myself.”

Heidegger's philosophy exhorts us to accept death and to use it as a means of understanding the purpose of life. According to Heidegger, acknowledging death allows us to enjoy life to the fullest and cherish the time we have. Death, in this view, can be a source of freedom as it liberates us from the limitations of life and enables us to realize our full potential, in this case, MC fully realizing her power.

So, with all being said and done, is death the end? I don’t think so. Death is not the end, as new life and knowledge can be born through understanding death. Death is not the end, because there will always be people who pick up and continue your path even after your passing. Death is not the end when it can provide for new life to grow, even through something as unhinged as using corpses to produce electricity.

Watching his retreating figure without turning his head, I instinctively crawl out of the black bag.

I feel as if I've just experienced death and have been reborn with new flesh and blood in this moment.

I want to know what he means and see how far he can go.

Death and apocalypse don’t necessarily mean the end; they can even mark the beginning of a new future. After all, only after experiencing death can you be reborn from the ashes like a phoenix.

And while at it, they somehow have ‘wholesome’ heart-to-heart talk… isn’t it silly that they can finally talk frankly when both of them are kind of trying to kill the other-

//just kidding, i personally like this talk because it fulfills something that I didn't realize needed lol. It feels like- S2 ch 23 approach to S1 ch 13 conflict if that makes sense? 😂 like instead of a dramatic break-up, we get them just, communicating their feelings because of their instinctive trust in each other ksksksks. Perhaps it's because MC instinctively trusts that Lucien won't kill her, and her curiosity exceeds her fear. And maybe it's because Lucien trusts that MC can unlock her power that he is willing to bet his own life.

[Future in his eyes]

Lucien: Why change the world? I think this world is fine.

Lucien: What I want to seek is 'evolution'.

What is 'evolution' in the post-apocalypse setting? It's more abstract from Lucien's practice of 'evolution' in the main story (like evolving 'everyone' or straight up ascending the world's dimension).

In this AU, 'evolution' is more about to the process of advancing and adapting to overcome extreme challenges like war, illness, and disaster, which will always permeate human history. This concept of evolution is about finding ways to adapt and advance humanity to solve these crises. Some real-life examples would be how wars and pandemics accelerate technological development. When trying to survive, humanity gains immense power to conquer those challenges.

Lucien: Radiation, disasters, and the like are merely puzzles posed by objective reality, and we are the problem solvers.

Lucien: Only in this way do we qualify to step onto a new level.

According to this dialogue, Lucien sees that the world is already undergoing evolution. The ongoing process of 'solving' post-apocalyptic challenges through continuous scientific and technological advancements is a form of evolution itself. Of course, it's a collective effort, and he is just one of many people who try to solve it. Lucien is not interested in fundamentally changing the world but in advancing and adapting it. However, his ultimate objective is still the same as that of the main story.

MC: What's your objective?

Lucien: A better future. -[S1 Chapter 13]

I don't think MC's and Lucien's ideas of change and evolution clash; rather, they can complement each other. Imagine a seed: Lucien wants the seed to be tough enough to survive in a harsh world by making the seed stronger, while MC wants to change the world so it'll be less harsh to the seed; both of them want a better future where the seed to survive and thrive but through a different approach.

Lucien: [softly] MC, do you know? From the moment you appeared before me, I realized that this world is actually full of color.

Lucien: So, I really want you to see what the world looks like through my eyes.

If there's one thing that MC has already changed, it's Lucien. She doesn't change his view on evolution, but she made him realize that the world is not so depressing and actually full of color: it's beautiful and interesting. So, it would be boring if the world were only about survival.

What is the end point of that evolution? We will never know, but for a start, we can see the beginning of the future through his eyes. Through adaptation and innovation, he generates electricity that can light up the entire area, transforming the deadliest area into a beacon of hope.

While lighting up the area doesn't immediately solve the crisis, it is a step towards evolution. Not only does it aid in a better future, but it also possesses the power of 'beauty'. Quoting from Gallery Date, (beautiful things have the power to inspire people and change their hearts) it can lead to more and more areas being illuminated.

That future even contains his selfish wishes... like a future where MC can be ordinary and free or a future where they can hold hands without any worries.

Lastly, compare these two lines:

Strangers speak in tongues I cannot comprehend, their eyes perpetually fixed on the distant future, but all I sense is madness.

Sharp, resolute, and scrutinizing. He seems to be peering through me to a distant place.

Here, you can see how both Lucien and the mad scientists from her past focus on the future. However, while the other scientists see only their own envisioned future and use her to reach it, Lucien sees the future within her. He recognizes her potential, and rather than simply seeing her as a test subject, he sees her as equal and wants her to be an active participant in shaping the future.

So all this time, he’s been patiently waiting for her to come to his side, then reveal everything and invite her to embark on a long and unknown journey together. After that experiment, both of them had already gotten what they wanted from their cooperation. Now that she knows how to control her power, she can be free and protect herself, and he doesn't need her help to research things in the radiated area. Isn't it ironic that the same person who threatened to lock her up is the one giving her freedom? He will simply drift away and continue to move forward the world in the direction that he wants if she chooses not to. However, he hopes that she will continue to accompany him in moving forward.

Luckily, she takes his hand and they run towards the unknown future together. Rather than the joy of survival, it signifies the arrival of freedom and a brand-new world. He also encourages her to become "Queen" and seek the change she wants. “Welcome to the new world.” text with the screen all black is such a BRILLIANT way to end this date. There is always a trend, but the changes in the world will always exceed our imagination.

Thank you for reading!

#enjoy the 2.5k words worth of ramble slash analysis lol #IT'S THAT GOOD #mlqc lucien #mr love queen's choice #mlqc cn #mlqc spoiler #mlqc #mlqc translation #mr. love queen's choice #mr love lucien #mlqc xu mo #mlqc spoilers

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