#I had the sketch for this and decided instead of collage stuff

[aweebshitdrawings]

Here’s the full comic

Well back it again, with another comic from @babyblankyerror Hitman Stan AU

Hope yall enjoy ;)

[fluffsnake]

Here goes my art masterpost for the @spnangelbang (bangel) :D

Doors Unlocked and Open Story: sidewinder @hawkland Art: by moi~

I'm so happy to have had the opportunity to collab with @hawkland on this! The fic caught my attention straight away with the unique and interesting story premise, and Hawk here has been an absolute joy to work with ♥ you can read it here ^^

I couldn't decide on only one scene to draw, and wanted to depict both Cas and Dean embracing their new roles respectively, so in the end I settled on doing a collage of multiple scenes from the fic. I hope you enjoy!

“I love you, Cas. I’m dead and it doesn’t matter, because I’ve found you and I can tell you to your stupid goddamn face that I love you.”

also here's a process video and more rambling below the cut if ur into that kinda stuff

Now I realize I liked the initial composition too, where instead of Death!Dean I wanted to try and re-draw the banner a little better...

I feel like it looked better in the page overall, but I just had to draw a cocky Death!Dean leaning on his scythe instead as soon as I got the idea :")

P.S. I'm no good at drawing, like, graphic elements, but I would've totally wanted to add some SLUUURP and munch munch SFX indicators like in the initial sketch haah

please pretend they're there, or something.

[marble-arble]

Hey, I yap a lot and I engaged in a lot of stuff this year. Let’s talk about 2024.

Things I deemed worth remembering in 2024

Films:

Police Story (1985): Best martial arts movie ever? Probably. I understand why Every Frame A Painting was so disillusioned by Jackie Chan’s US work (though I’m certain Jackie Chan doesn’t mind how well it pays the bills). Really just a masterclass in combining comedy and action. The last 10 minutes of raw action, perfection.

Hundreds Of Beavers (2023): Speaking of comedy, holy shit. This is the biggest love letter to video games and looney tunes I’ve ever seen. I think this is one of the best to ever do it. Perfectly walks the line between cheap and charming to the point where the latter would be lost without the former.

The Lighthouse (2019): Was everything everyone hyped it up to be. Anything I could say would either be lacking or a pale imitation of what’s already been said by people smarter than me.

Sunset Boulevard (1950): I took a film noir class this semester! I didn’t pay attention or care about most of them ahah. But, this one is a banger. Gloria Swanson owns every scene as Norma Desmond. Her performance made this movie. Everyone else was up to snuff of course, and a sharp script coupled with incredible shot composition makes this the best film I saw in that class and one of the best I saw this year.

Eega (2012): Do not look anything up about this movie. Don’t even search for it by its title. Find friends and just watch it. The entire way through. You can get past those first 30 minutes and it will be worth it.

They Live (1988): We gotta aim for anti-capitalist radicalization this fast irl (this is a joke). John Carpenter’s musclebound 80’s extravaganza, anything but subtle, but a good time throughout. Has one of the most dragged out fight scenes I’ve ever seen and I loved every minute of it.

Playtime (1967): Jesus christ. One of those “How did they do this?” movies like Police Story but instead of stunt work it’s the blocking. It’s almost exhausting despite it being nothing but looking at people go about their day. It’s quite good in fact! But you can definitely feel the exhaustion director Jacque Tati had with modern life by the end. A worthy movie to go into financial ruin for.

Shorter Films/TV

Various Works of Jan Svankmajer (1989, 1988, 1982, 1966, 1964):

I was introduced to him last year in a film class with the “Lunch” segment from 1992’s “Food”. Haven’t checked out the rest from that collection but I loved that one segment so much that this year I decided to dive into his other works. Cinemassacre has a great video that gives five great shorts to check out from him as a beginner. I’ll be talking about the ones he recommended, however, out of the chronological order he suggests, but if you’re curious and want a guide, use his.

“Darkness Light Darkness” from 1989 is so charming to me. I think human bodies are just very funny things, watching him construct one in real time reminded me of some of my own strange thoughts about my own body. His 1988 sports (i say that word loosely) comedy “Virile Games” is like a monty python sketch with 90’s nicktoons humor. I don’t have any better way to describe it, that’s just what it is to me. 1982’s “Dimensions In Dialogue” feels at parts Jan flexing his mastery over the stop motion/claymation medium. Impressive claywork in two of the segments and some fascinating materials for stop motion in one. Also his most direct feature with its messaging and subtext.

1966’s puppet show endeavor “Punch and Judy” was kinda a miss for me. Some great moments in the very end but it felt the most aimless. Still enjoyed it but not one I think I’ll revisit very soon. However his first ever feature, 1964’s “The Last Trick” I’ve revisited plenty. Being at the very start of Svankmajer’s career, he’s not messing around with the stop motion, claymation, collage style he became known for. But I think he’s still in top form here. A lot of charming effect work and enjoyably surreal comedy from two magicians who desperately want to one up each other. I think it stands as one of his best even if later on his style became much more daring.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time with Svankmajer. I’ll probably get around to his feature length films “Alice” and “Conspirators of Pleasure” with more of his short films along the way. If you have a love for strange mediums and a somewhat off kilter sense of humor, I really recommend trying out his shorts.

X-Men ‘97 (2024): I’ve never seen the original 90’s cartoon and don’t plan to. ‘97 delivers on every level. Stunningly gorgeous, perfectly structured (remembering you can have a serialized narrative but have episodes that can stand on their own was a welcome holdover from the 90’s), and the best monologues I’ve heard in a minute. Feels like the first revival to understand and embrace the appeal of the original work yet still have the courage and finesse to elevate the material with some great creative decisions. Hope the team and new head writer can keep the momentum going from season two onwards.

Radio TV Solutions “RTVS” (idfk): Preaching to the choir, I love this channel. A friend late last year and early this year got me hooked on Wayne’s selfaware ai half life saga. Other friends upped the ante by getting me into RTVS other works. They’re really fucking funny. I can be watching a stream for a fake console, nosferatu going into the public domain, or even a merch reveal stream for Pizza Tower and they’ll hit me with the most obtuse bits that remind me I’m a very weird person who’s very happy to find equally weird yet incredibly funny people.

Manga (Mostly):

Jujitsu Kaisen (2018-2024): I started reading this last year but with it officially calling wraps, I think now is a good time to say my thoughts on it. It’s s’alright. I really loved how much Gege’s art evolved throughout the series, I especially liked where his style was by Culling Games onward. But, this was a bit of a rush job. I can see why many left the series disillusioned with the conclusion. Can’t say I’m crazy about it myself, buuuut I think I had a good time by the end.

One Piece (1997-): We really are in the final saga. I'm gonna have this mostly be my thoughts on the insane climax of Egghead island cause wow. I had my reservations hearing murmurings that the final saga of One Piece would be only 5 years long. But if Oda plays his cards right (and the multiple decades spent on weekly manga don’t catch up and kill him) he could end it then. Fantastic arc that escalated so much in its climax I get why the anime announced a hiatus. Gonna be great watching all this play out when it’s animated.

Azumanga Daioh (1999-2002): Yeah. It’s peak. Azuma just knows how to make the most insane characters worm their way into your heart. The dynamics and interactions were perfect, art only got better. Beautiful series that does everything it needs to.

Yotsuba&! (2003-): Ofc I had to start what most people consider to be Azuma’s best work still going on today. I can see why so many love this series. Azuma captures the essence of being a child so earnestly without it ever feeling fake or overly-sentimental. The supporting cast is even better than Azumanga Daioh with some really incredible characters throughout (and Yanda). I think I prefer Azumanga Daioh just a bit for how good the interplay with the main cast is in that series, but Yotsuba is a wonderful manga.

Marvel’s New Ultimate Universe (Spider-Man, X-Men, Ultimates 2024): These were the three Ultimate universe titles I chose to follow. Now I’m about 2 months behind on what's been happening with them but I liked what I was reading. Very much a slow and steady start, this is Johnathan Hickman at the helm, the long con is always the end goal. But if you wanna try out a Big 2 comic, these are a great start.

Dungeon Meshi (2014-2023): I’m gonna save most of my thoughts on this when I talk about the anime I saw (and care to remember) this year. But the anime inspired me to read all of the manga and I’m very grateful I did. Ryoko Kui is a master. Probably the best fantasy story I’ve ever read.

Goodnight Punpun (2007-2013): Hey it’s that manga everyone treats like an SCP. Can’t say it's not warranted to some degree. If you have a headspace that’s easily swayed by any form of media, this could worsen depression for anyone going through it or with a history with it. And if not that, it’s not a very pleasant manga regardless of mental wellbeing. Very few punches are pulled, very few lines not crossed. But I do think this is the best manga Asano has made wholesale.

With the benefit of it being his longest work, Punpun feels like the most complete package. Now I’m usually pretty susceptible to any media I read/watch/play affecting my headspace. I think with my knowledge of Punpun’s legacy, I went into this with a ”Voyeur to tragedy” mindset which shielded me and left me shocked but also in awe of Asano’s abilities. Definitely not a manga for everyone or one I find myself able to really recommend. It’s to be read by those genuinely curious about it with or even because of its legacy. If you do, Punpun left me inspired and speechless at the same time.

Solanin: (2005-2006): The second work by Inio Asano I read. In some ways the more depressing one for me. I’m in my mid 20’s and am still figuring out what to do. I think the first half is stronger than the second half. The first chapter's statement that “Freedom without purpose is kinda boring” has stuck with me for a while now. The latter half I wasn’t as into, but it’s an incredibly honest story about the struggles of your mid 20’s and that expecting a grand coda to anything from it is a bit silly.

Dead Dead Demons DEDEDEDE Destruction: (2014-2022): My final Asano work for this trilogy, and wow. This one was a lot! Not even in the ways that Punpun was a lot thematically, DeDeDeDe packs so many ideas and concepts into it’s 100 chapters that somehow it’s climax, (that giving credit looking back Asano managed to elude to it somewhat), but it still feels rushed!!!

DeDeDeDe starts with what I assume was Asano showing two girls friendship (debatable) persevering through a looming disaster, also becomes commentary about social media feeding our worst habits, radicalism, and modern times in general. Sometimes it's incredibly kind and empathetic with characters like Makoto, other times it feels like Asano goes for the lowest hanging fruit for mockery, sometimes someone looks like they came from Doraemon. Intentionally of course, very aware what the Isobyean sections was meant to be a sendup of.

I can’t really get into it without spoiling which even with my mixed feelings towards the ending I don’t wish to spoil. I guess the hook for me was Kadode and Ontan’s bond and the series seems to be focusing on that. But the way everything wraps up felt way too out of left field. A manga that wanted to tackle big ideas through an intimate lens but I think it lost that balance by the end. Probably my second favorite work by Asano. Could’ve been first, oh well.

Shimeji Simulation (2019-2023): By the same author as Girls Last Tour, I probably would not have given this a shot if not for the recommendation of a friend and it’s pretty damn good. Tsukumizu has such an enjoyably loose approach to manga. Alternating between traditional page layout and 4komas that are sometimes 4.5komas, this is a manga that embraces surrealness with the most casual touch. The writing really captures depression in its most genuine sense. It’s not miserable, but it isn’t happy. If you’ve ever had days where it feels like anywhere you go is just a detour from your room, it’s like that. A manga for people who’ve had hazy brains on clear days. I’m slowly chipping through it. Maybe it’ll be 2025 when I finish it. I do recommend it wholeheartedly.

Video Games:

Dragon Quest III HD-2D (2024): Game of the year. I’ve been looking forward to this game for so long and I loved it. I’ve never played DQ3 before but this delivered on every front. The HD-2D style is what it should be (imo) with no mixels getting in the way. The story isn’t mind blowing but charming nonetheless. So many little setpieces and ideas here that feel like you can see the ripples this game would have on many games later. Not perfect of course. The battles don’t really have much strategy beyond how hard and fast you can hit and how much you minimize damage taken from getting hit. And there were some noticeable difficulty spikes with some bosses which made me pretty bitter. But I still loved this game to the very end. Definitely seeing myself replaying this and messing around more with its class system. Absolute beast of a JRPG.

Star Fetchers: Escape from Pork Belly (2024): I loved the pilot, I supported the kickstarter for Episode 1. I loved the demo for episode 1, and I loved this dlc to tide us over until Episode 1 comes out. Everything great about Star Fetchers in a quick one and done Punch Out style adventure, and a great showcase for what tech they’ve been working on for Episode 1. I can’t wait to see what they have in store.

Lunisitice (2022): I’m not crazy into 3D Platformers outside of a select few and this one might have become my favorite. It’s incredibly charming and simple. It's a game I can just pop on whenever I wanna smile a bit. Really loved it.

Celeste (2018): I’m not crazy into ~~3~~ 2D Platformers outside of a select few and this one might have become my- you get it. Really wonderful to finally play this game. I’m no platforming expert, my strawberry count was pitifully low and I’m definitely not enough of a platforming pervert to attempt the B-Sides. But the heart on display here did show me why so many love this game, and I do too.

Enjoy The Diner (2023): What a remarkably chill game. The only thing that I think matches this game's approach to writing and by extension Sci-Fi is Shimeji Simulation. And even then both of them feel a bit too different to really be lumped together. I’ve never felt a game that was so content in letting pieces fall where they may in its writing. There’s rarely a cause for panic, no urgency whatsoever. It’s another series that takes a very casual approach to surreality with sci-fi. This is a vibe, an experience to go through if you’ve ever had conversations with a friend at 3 in the morning.

Webfishing and Atlyss (2024): I will lump these two together as I hope experiences made with furries in mind crop up more and more as we go into another hell world lol. Loved both of em, chose a great year to embrace being a furry and all that brought with it.

Anime:

Dungeon Meshi Season 1 (2024): Fantastic. Trigger knocked it out of the park. I only got into it this year, but this is such a fun take on dungeon crawling. Starts deceptively simple with a fun gimmick that greatly appeals to me and my love of food, then (remember when I said I read the whole manga because of this anime) completely sidewinds you with incredibly deep pathos and some beautiful character moments. Laios and company are just the perfect DnD group. Can’t wait to see how Trigger adapts some of the later chapters and the major surprises and turns within them. Fantastic.

A decent chunk of Dragon Ball Z’s original 90’s dub: I got into Dragon Ball when the Kai re-cut was airing on Nicktoons. That was my exposure to the saga of Dragon Ball Z. So I got to watch a series with no filler and a dub that was made with faithfulness to the original script in mind (and a score that I hesitate to say is great for reasons already known if you ever followed what happened with the composer for Kai).

With friends I watched the original dub with the Faulconer score, all the filler pacing intact, and a dub with as many wisecracks the translators wanted to put in. Honestly, it was fun. I’m very aware of the debates that have been had about changes from sub to dub and had them as well. Do I like this more than Kai? No. But was it fun? Yes.

Dandadan (2024): I never got into Dandadan’s manga, but science saru’s adaptation has left me charmed and impressed multiple times. Not a lot to say, this will definitely put this series on the map for many.

One Piece (1999): Well the anime is still flexing its animation team and budget acquired since Wano Act III. Egghead is still marred by the usual pacing issues sticking with One Piece’s anime since Enies Lobby, but if you’re gonna stretch moments to fill an episode, may as well do it with the most bombastic moments you can. Can’t blame em for the hiatus as so many moments later on are gonna need a lot of tlc if they’re gonna hit. Also that opening, “Assu!” Best opening One Piece has ever had. They really should let Megumi Ishitani do more with One Piece.

One Piece Fan Letter (2024): Well hey, ask and you shall receive. This is so much more than I could ever expect it to be. What could’ve been just a cute segway into the Fishman Island recut is also the biggest love letter to One Piece I’ve ever seen. Ishitani and co. understand the heart of this series, why you love it, why you laugh at it, and all the emotions it carries. Ishitani’s style is as fluid as ever and her skills as a director make her the best thing to happen to any shonen anime ever. I need her to direct a One Piece movie. And I need all of you to experience One Piece, if not just for how good One Piece is, for how amazing this one OVA is. I left this OVA with such a big smile on my face.

Bakemonogatari (2009): I’ve known about Monogatari. I’ve always been curious about Monogatari. I’ve watched plenty of memes that recreated its eccentric editing style in other media, I also knew how much this show was accused of being for anime perverts (derogatory). After a friend's recommendation once again, I watched it.

Y'know what, yea. It’s got lots of pervert shit but it was fucking worth it for me. This was wonderful. The presentation is an acquired taste but you can acquire it as soon as Bakemonogatari ends. I loved its rapid editing style, its soundtrack, and the characters. The presentation is top notch, but I loved so many characters by the end of its 15 episode run.

Initially I pinned the go crazy go nuts girl Suruga as my favorite, though looking back at her arc Suruga Monkey is maybe one of the weaker ones in Bake. Not bad, but feels weaker in comparison. I still quite like Suruga, and both Hitagi and Hachikuji are great with arcs that measure up as well.

I got to Nadeko Snake. Loved it. My feelings on Nadeko herself are positive though I think I gotta give her time to grow on me (She can pat herself on the back for the best opening in Bake). Anyways, I was enjoying myself thoroughly. Thinking it was a good experience but maybe not something I’ll leave much with. Then the final arc Tsubasa Cat bookends ybe season.

Wow. I always liked Tsubasa. Her presence was great in the past arcs, but her arc, god it was so good. I won’t spoil but certain moments and revelations hit me close to home in ways I didn’t expect. Is Tsubasa my favorite character now? Maybe, I still have a ways to go with this series, but that arc, I like that arc a lot. I like Bakemonogatari a lot.

Kizumonogatari Trilogy (2016-17): I liked it so much I immediately jumped into the prequel that the director spent just shy of a decade making. If you want the long and the short of it, all three good, but here’s a rough recollection of my headspace throughout all 3.

Iron Blooded: Wow this movie is pretty. This artstyle is kinda fucking everything, oh the cut ins are french now that’s cool. God this movie is so fucking pretty. Holy shit what an entrance. I can see why it took just shy of a decade to put this out. Phenomenal, next one.

Hot Blooded: God this movie is fucking pretty. This series also has an incredible ost, thank fucking god, holy shit this action. God I love you Hanekawa. Also it’s fascinating watching Araragi be more in line with what is usually expected from a light novel protagonist. Bake has him as a hapless but endearing lead, but here he’s a very adolescent loner who can barely compose himself in Kizu. There’s something very interesting as both in adaptation and original publication Bake starts the entire Monogatari series. The allusions to everything that happened in Kizu were quickly revealed in publication as Kizu is the second monogatari book published. But the anime, being a passion project by the director, continued with every book from Kizu onward. I’m glad I’m watching Kizu when I do, I think having this context going forward will be nothing but helpful. But back on topic, Araragi is a very different guy here. Also cause I didn’t mention her earlier Kiss-Shot is wonderful.

Cold Blooded: God this movie is SO fucking pretty- Oh.

Now, I made a post not too long ago about how this trilogy left me with a lot to chew on. I’ll admit here, a lot of it is Cold-Blooded but the whole package really stunned me. Every praise I've lauded the last two here applies to Cold Blooded as well, even more I think. But it’s final moments cut deep for me. I wish I could elaborate more and how many incredible moments there are in Cold Blooded, but words fail me in that regard. I’ve had to think about how this is the beginning of Monogatari. This is what inspires Araragi to stop being such a loner, and choosing to live and make the incredibly meaningful bonds he develops in Bake. Araragi makes the decision to start growing up.

I wrote, like, five pages on what Kizumonogatari made me feel. And I think all together Kizu was discussed in about 2 pages collectively. The rest was a very personal mess of words. It’s weird, Kizu gave me the ability to write about things I thought I never could, but what I wrote about was a lot. And I’m too much of a coward to post that in confidence without thinking it would be unwelcome. It’s stuff I want to share one day. It’s me admitting a lot of things. If anyone is interested I’ll share. But at the moment I don’t have the confidence to talk about it without it feeling like it’s unwelcome, too much, and lacking finesse. This movie made me reflect on a lot. Mentally and Identity wise. I’ll always thank it for that

2024 was a weird one for me. Lotta good, some bad, a whole lot of introspection this fall. Let’s see what 2025 will bring.

Have a Happy New Year Everyone

Best Movie: Police Story (but also Kizumonogatari)

Best Not A Movie: Jan Svankmajer’s strange works.

Best Manga/Comic: Azumanga Daioh

Best Video Game: Dragon Quest III: HD-2D

Best Anime: Kizumonogatari Trilogy

[false-kingdom]

I took a break from posting art online……and then lost all that art.

So I decided to take a big break from posting to social media a few months ago. I would occasionally but the majority was kept offline. I reached a stand still with my art and felt like I needed to just work through stuff without the worry of posting it anywhere. I wanted to experiment privately without any outside input to really focus of what I wanted to improve. I just drew to draw and drew what I wanted (so HOW stuff and my own comic stuff basically). And it was amazing for my mental health. I was pumping out concept art for my comic and really honing my style to reflect how I wanted it to. It was liberating to make art without sharing it anywhere besides a few friends.

And then I accidentally deleted Procreate.

Apple has a fun lil system where if you want to remove an app from your home screen, it has a window that pops up asking to delete the app or just remove from Home Screen (it should be noted that the delete completely option is the one at the top and highlighted red). I’ve always thought to myself how bad a system that is and it would be so easy to accidentally delete an app instead of just moving it if you weren’t really paying attention.

I went through the five stages of grief in about thirty minutes when I realized there was no safe way to get 6 months of work back. Six. Months. Normally, I backup to an external drive once every two-weeks to a month at the latest, and upload finished pieces to my drive. But because I wasn’t posting it anywhere, I didn’t feel the need to and just kept forgetting. And forgetting.

So I have no one to blame other than myself. I know I wanted a revamp but a hard restart isn’t really what I had in mind. Some stuff I was able to get WIP shots of and could save but most is gone.

One piece I did manage to get my hands on again was just a quick collage of face study’s for Bo and Vincent, in their 20’s. They did have color but this shot of the sketches were all I had sent. Them smiling makes me feel pretty okay with things. I’d say lesson learned but this was a lesson I already knew and slacked off on. Don’t slack off. Back up your digital work. Even if you’re not posting online. Back. It. Up.

[catearsandchaos]

I’ve had a couple of different Heraldries in my time in re-enactment. The 12th Century is before all the fun stuff comes in- when there’s too many cadet branches that need unique heraldries and things start getting weird. For us, heraldries are found in their most basic form. And nothing really encapsulates that more than the heraldry I spent all of my early years under- Loncastre.

Loncastre, or Lancaster as it is known in the modern day, was the local group I joined when I started and so I got a shield with their heraldry and most of my stuff is still marked up with a cinquefoil even now. A red cinquefoil on a yellow background, this heraldry has belonged to the Lancaster group since the society was founded and is the closest they could get in heraldic iconography to Lancaster’s red rose, for those who know their English history.

The D’Oyly heraldry is a whole other matter. When creating families and heraldries we don’t use extant names or examples- in many cases they still belong to families in the UK and can be traced back so we try not to step on any toes. Instead, you collect as many sources as you can find, consult the experts in our in-house collage of heralds and make up your own.

We have decided to somewhat strike out in a previously unseen direction for our heraldry which has led to a lot of research and a lot of experimentation. It turns out, there are very few sources showing an English Eagle on a heraldry from the 12th Century so we’ve been constantly tweaking the design for over a year now until we are happy with it. In fact, the latest update comes to you live from 15 minutes ago when the newest sketch came in.

Working on the progression of this heraldry has been really interesting as it’s forced us to think about a lot of things like our responsibilities as re-enactors to both accuracy and being in the public eye at events and how we can thread that needle, which is why nothing will be confirmed until every one of us is happy with it.

[cigiwaters]

April 2024 Update

At the end in the "Failed Experiment" heading I'll leave that failed experiment. At the start of April I planned on doing a daily update and posting the result as month's end for my monthly update. On day 86 or so I lost track. Only to realize on day 108.

Looking at April in hindsight, what do I think I can learn or what I learned?

I see where I started trying to branch out into multi-day works instead of sticking to a single day and moving on.

Day 65: Was a failed attempt at it.

Day 71 and 72 was the Nek-sliver.

Day 89 and 90 were Pekora Vegetta.

Looking at the naming convention I use, surprisingly Frieren (I have three 76s and she's 2) wasn't one of them. 89 and 80B, paper bag guy, also weren't.

I suppose towards the end of the month I started stretching myself more with fanart.

The Failed Experiment

Monthly Format, yo!

Yo! Not sure what will be here at month's end, but I decided to try this for April, 2024. I don't want to spam daily with my draw something a day project, but I definitely want to make sure I'm reflecting on this stuff to some degree.

Then I had a thought. Doesn't Tumblr have a draft feature?

*returns a day later to see everyone beyond that is missing despite attempts to save*

Arguably.

I hope, hoped, to use the draft to keep a daily reflection written, formatted, etc. while avoiding a daily spam of drawings that I don't feel merit their own posts. Since my plan is, was, will be, to release a collage monthly... well, this seemed a way to kill two bids at once.

Daily Logs

Day 63 - One of the Lost

One of the lost entries. This will be brief unless I come back to rewrite it when I'm in a better headspace.

Primary Goal: Explore CSP's brushes some.

I feel I accomplished that.

Day 64 - One of the Lost

The primary goal of this one was to play around with a certain style's coloring technique some. Maybe even use it as a template for this purpose going into the future so I could jump straight into the coloring section.

I "ran out of time" partway through practicing inking. Looks like I still have an issue with relative brush sizes.

Since I forgot to mark it, no reference used.

Day 65

*Returns to this on day 76, and coughs up a lung* Vacation and illness arc ahead.

Was going to use this over a few days to practice different shading and coloring techniques, but I ended up dropping it due to travel.

Day 66

Quick sketch due to traveling.

Day 67

Another quick sketch. A borderline abstract sketch of my time in Tennessee.

Day 68

Sad frog in the snow.

Day 69

Random quick sketches.

Day 70

Incomplete sketch of an idea. A Sliver in a circular shape. First attempt was coiling it up.

Day 71

A second attempt. The head is circular with the tail and arm blades making the expression.

Day 72

Probably inspired by Albert from "The Girl From the Other Side". I had finished the series a few days beforehand.

Day 73

My most blatant cheat image.

Day 74

Sickness fulling kicking in.

Day 75

Stupid sick sketch. Random doodle became an "Amogus". Then I did a reflected jump scare in the visor.

Day 76

Starting to feel better. Streak tracking app didn't save my things from yesterday so I thought it was day 75 still when I started. Then I got a "there is already a save by this name!" when I tried to save it as day 75.

After the "proper 76" I continued sketching a bit in the style that feels more "right". The eyes are clearly off. I can feel I'm getting a better sense of hair chunk flows. Granted, at my basic skill "better" is relative.

I'm calling this here. With more time I could do more with it. Maybe another day I will, but it is late and I nearing my limit of trying to put off taking my next dose of cold medicine.

Frieren is the subject.

The next day I ended up doing more work on it.

Day 77

Gave a night landscape a try again.

Day 78

A bunch of random shapes and quick practice. I forget what triggered my desire to go back to working on the basicer basics.

Day 79

Maybe inspired by Albert from "Girl on the Other Side". The horn shape was the primary object of my focus on this day.

Day 80

The goal this day was perspective playing. You can still somewhat see where I kept redrawing the eyes, repositioning them, to get the perspective I wanted.

Day 81

Day 81 proper was just a sketch of The Durge from Baldur's Gate 3.

The warmup was inspired by Pikat's Partner's 30 Day Video.

Day 82

Inspired by a meme, maybe a YouTube short? It was a four frame dealio where each layer was improving your "level". Flat image of water in a glass. Then shading it. Then two more of the red water slurping around the glass.

Day 83

Was in a rush between chores, friends, getting my other X times a week things done. A Haro on adult Gon Freecs' body. The left arm really needs more work. At least the forearm.

Day 84

Got a bug in my ear to try a technique for shirts.

Day 85

Wanted to give cold weather clothes a try.

Day 86

Was a second attempt at a sweater. Turned into randomness.

Day... bleh

At some point I lost track of this. Keeping a daily log just ended up being too much for me right now, I guess.

[memphisfaith]

Hearts of Lust: Chapter 7

Pairing Kim Namjoon X Reader

Genre: Collage!AU, Smut

Word Count: 1.K

Warning: Cursing, mentions of smut, smut, consumption of alcohol, mentions of violence, violence, crack personality disorders, Chaotic energy.

Summary: College is any young adult's prime years, at least that's what Lee (y/n) and Kim Namjoon thought. The two are infamous for two reasons, by two very different crowds. Among the professors they are picture perfect students with perfect scores, attendance, and image. However, among the student body they're the very essence of lust with amazing bodies, sex appeal, and skill. The two, although strikingly similar, butt heads quite a bit with competitions of everything from grades to who can get a person to drop their pants the fastest. With the two of them ready to conquer the school year it's all a matter of Go Big or Go Home.

I glance over the group of guys beside me, the group of them doing different things in their own little sub groups. Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook are buzzing around making random spazzy gestures as they run in circles. Jin, Yoongi, and Taehyung sit at a table working on an assignment for their class. While Namjoon and I read the first book assigned by our lit. Professor.

I sigh, placing my book down and rubbing my eyes. The constant yelling and laughter coming from the three wild boys made it hard to focus on my book. I finally gave it a rest and marked my page before closing the book. 

Instead I took out my loose paper notes from my earlier class and copied them down in my notebook in a neater fashion. I pull out my colored fine tip pens and markers, notebook, and the papers.

I then muted the yelling boys out and began to copy down the notes, memorizing them as I wrote. A quarter through my notes, I glanced at the clock. We only had an hour of study hall between the 2nd and 3rd lectures, and from what I can tell I only had a few minutes to pack up before we had to go. I decide to go ahead and start.

I packed my stuff quicker than I thought I would have, so with the few spare minutes I have to spare I sit watching kookie and Tae playfight. However things started to get a little too rough. A collective sigh left Namjoon and I, unconsciously my hand reaches out in a fist, A muscle reflex I gained when things like this happened. A group agreement that if two or more can't agree on something or if we cant decide who is to do something we play rock, paper, scissors. Loser loses the argument or does the task.

With three shakes I pop my hand out revealing paper, I glance over at Namjoon's hand. He holds out scissors. Despite the fact he still has his head stuck in that book reading the pages, I can still see that smug smirk tucked behind the cover and pages.

I groan as I drop my bag and stand from my chair. I walk over to the two and wedge myself between the two. I cross my arms and glare sharply at the two. "Stop it, If you want to fight, wait until you go to your martial arts club." I scold. 

The two bowed their heads with a collective, "Yes Noona.". I nod my head in approval before walking back over to my seat. I sat in my seat but it wasn't long before the hourly bell rang. Namjoon and I walked to our lecture while the rest of them broke off to go to their other lectures. I sat in my seat beside the foul demon as class started.

I wipe my stray hairs out of my face with my wrist holding the paintbrush in my hand. Glancing down at my sketch book where I glued and taped in my different references. The hue of one of the vases is a little darker than what I'd had mixed on my palate. 

I walked back over to the paint station and began to mix that darker color. "(y/n)!" I hear Withrow call, "Yeah!" I call back. "I need you for a minute." she calls again, I put my palate down and grab a hand towel on the way out. 

I wipe paint off as I make my way over to her, but my eyes widen at the crowd with her, "What's all this?" I gap looking over the crowd. "Well the fund raiser for the club went better than expected." She huffs. "The one for studio time?" I ask and she nods, "And the one that includes the art lessons." She adds.

My eyes widen, "It's a joint event?" I ask in a slight panic. She nods her head, I set out an aggravated scoff "I'll have to talk to the admin and secretary about this." I mumble. "It's okay I'm sure you and I can handle this," I assure.

I run back over to my work station and grab my apron, I put it on as I hurriedly rush back to the main classroom. "Hello everyone, welcome to the open studio and class. Mrs. Withrow is passing out a folder full of art styles we can offer to teach you today for those who want to learn. Everyone else  is welcome to do as they please because this is an open studio. All we ask is that you behave maturely, don't disturb those around you, and keep your area as clean as possible." I smile. 

I hear sounds of agreement before letting the large group find their seat. "NOONA!!" I hear a familiar yell, My eyes widen as I see Kookie and Tae waving at me. "What are you two doing here?!? Don't you have dance practice with Hoseok?" I whisper quietly. 

The two grin at me childishly, "Don't tell Hyung we skipped. We heard your fundraising and we both could resist coming to see you." Taehyung spoke up. I sigh and rub my hand over my face "Fine, hurry up and sit down. Don't cause too much trouble you two." I warn as they hurry off to grab a seat beside each other.

I go back to getting everyone settled. Without much thought I wonder the room helping the occasional person, flirting here and there as well. Open studio was half way over when the door was busted open to reveal a pissed off Hoseok.

"THERE YOU TWO ARE!" He screams, My eyes widen as he marches his way over to the two boys. Oh hell no, he doesn't get to come in here like that. I quickly place myself between the three of them and glare at Hoseok. 

"Who the hell do you think you are coming in here like that. Can't you see they're working. you don't get to just come in here like that and snatch them up. So you best walk out that door and try again or so help me Jung Hoseok." I sneer. 

Hoseok stiffens up before bowing his head "Yes ma'am." He whispers before walking back to the door and closing it, only to knock and wait for a response. "That's what I thought." I mutter as I let him in.

<---- Prev // Masterlist // Next ---->

[corpsentry]

january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 35 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Violet’s promotion became official, and Bianca set her sights on a certain blonde.

This Chapter: Violet begins her new job, and things are not exactly what she expected.

***

Even though everything was technically all the same, Violet felt like she had walked into a completely different building.

She had greeted Roxy with a smile, the receptionist at her desk when Violet had walked in at 9:30 for her visit with HR, people actually present unlike when Violet usually came in at the crack of dawn. Trixie had insisted that she take a slow morning, almost forbidding her to come in with the rest of the floor, and Violet guessed that it made sense since it was her first day.

Violet walked out of the elevator, her heels clacking on the floor, her stomach filled with butterflies.

Her morning had been a lot more messy than she preferred. She had changed her clothes a million times, unsure what to wear, until she had finally settled on a simple long sleeved top and a full skirt. It was completely Fame approved, but Violet felt comfortable in it, none of it too flashy or attention grabbing. Violet knew how to use a sewing machine in heels, but she still had a pair of flats in her bag, just in case someone truly cared about the company's safety guidelines.

She paused in front of the door, smoothing down her skirt, one, two, three times, before grabbing the handle and opening the door to the first day of the rest of her life.

“Violet!” Trixie smiled brightly, standing up from where he had been leaning over Gia’s shoulder, who was somehow still miraculously working at the company - even after her screw up in the Fall. “Welcome! I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Oh,” Violet stopped. She couldn’t remember ever being greeted with so much enthusiasm when coming into work, but it was nice, very nice. “I’m happy to be here?”

“Yes you are,” Trixie grinned, walking over to her, the man wearing a somewhat ridiculous white t-shirt with a pink and blue band logo Violet didn’t recognise. “We’re going to have so much fun, but first, Everyone!”

Trixie clapped his hands, catching the attention of the entire department who all turned to them.

“This is Violet Chachki, you all already know her as Fame’s assistant,” Trixie smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “Say hi.”

“Hello,” Violet said, lifting her hand in greeting. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself, the whole thing horribly embarrassing, everyone looking at her. Violet wasn’t unused to attention, but she disliked it heavily when it was focused on her person, and not on something she had created.

She attempted a smile, doing her very best not to let anyone know how awkward she felt.

“She is going to be working with us now here in the best department of Galactica!” Trixie released her, earning a laugh from everyone. “I want you all to make her feel welcome and settled since we all know what it was like to be new,” he finished with a lot of them looking on with slight smiles and waves.

“You got it coach!”

Violet turned to look at the source of the voice, an incredibly tall bald man with a gigantic smile and a raspy voice the one who had called out. Violet recognized Bob, who was the design department's project manager, though she didn’t think she had ever seen him in Fame’s office.

“Let me show you around.” Trixie looped their arms together, dragging Violet with him before she had the chance to put down her bag, or even take off her jacket.

The design floor was a myriad of various fabrics in countless colors and prints with a multitude of textures to choose from.

Dress forms, in an assortment of sizes, lined the walls under large glass windows that brought in natural light and a beautiful view, of the east side, of Central Park.

The floor had neat rows of long work tables each with their own computers, drawing sections, sewing machines, hanging dress form and a rolling stool.

“Aaaaaaaand this, is your desk!” Trixie smiled brightly, throwing an arm out as he showed Violet her place.

“What…” Violet looked at the big collage that was put right in the middle. “Is that?”

“Right?” Trixie grinned, clearly very proud of himself “I made it for you.”

“Oh…” Violet bit her lip, unease welling up in her body. The gesture was kind, but it was strange to see so many pictures of herself, most of all because she had no idea when most of them had actually been taken. “Thank you.” She was sure she could stuff it in her drawer later, the paper looking sturdy enough to be shoved down there.

“Don’t mention it,” Trixie gave her a halfarm hug, holding her against his side for a minute. “Now, next on the agenda- Jovan, pay attention.”

“Sure thing coach.”

Violet watched as Jovan turned around, the man sitting backwards on his chair, one of his long limbs pulled up in what looked like an extremely uncomfortable position.

“Hello.” Jovan smiled, a gigantic white toothed grin on his face. He was bald, the top of his head somehow not smooth like Bob’s, but instead sort of wrinkly.

“Jovan will be your desk mate.”

Violet had wondered who she’d be seated next to, and while she had never actually spoken to Jovan, he wasn’t her worst option.

“Hello,” Violet held out her hand, “I’m Violet.”

“Please,” Jovan snorted, grabbing her hand in a surprisingly hard grip. “I already know who you are.”

“Jovan is one of our contemporary designers.”

Violet nodded, hiding a smile. It was clear as day that Jovan was in contemporary, his shirt a multicolored almost neon asymmetrical tunic.

“One of the best,” Jovan squeezed her hand, letting it go, “contemporary designers. Don’t touch my stuff, and I promise that you and I will get along great.”

“Jovan-” Trixie started scolding, but Violet cut in.

“I’ll keep my hands to myself.” Violet put her bag on the table. She had never seen Trixie scold anyone, but judging by the furrow of his brow, Jovan was toeing the line.

“What’s on the agenda, coach?” Jovan had somehow managed to cross his legs around the chair, a pencil dangling from his mouth.

“Oh,” Trixie smiled, and Violet reached inside her bag, grabbing her notebook. “Violet has the morning off.”

“Wha-” Violet paused, unsure if she had heard Trixie correctly. “Excuse me, what did you say?” It was only Monday, but Violet knew that design had their weekly department wide meetings every Thursday, and if she was being honest, she had expected to be thrown directly into the work, the Christmas collection just around the corner.

“The morning off.” Trixie grinned. “Decorate your desk, say hi to everyone, get all your little knick knacks in order and later we’ll have cake to celebrate your first day.”

***

Jovan groaned slightly. He was supposed to be working on the holiday collection but he just couldn’t seem to find an interesting angle.

Jovan didn’t like making gowns, and though he had managed once or twice to sneak in a pants suit or something mildly interesting, Raja and Fame had a clear almost inarguable preference towards high classic glamor when it came to the holidays.

He flipped back and forth between his sketches, pencil in his mouth, erasing a line here of adding one there. After a bit, he sensed a disturbance in the energy, his attention shifted slightly across the table to his new deskmate.

Violet was sitting at her desk, tapping her nails on the wood, her lip between her teeth as she was looking out on the department. She was practically radiating nervous energy, her desk already all neatly set up.

Jovan noticed a leather bound planner, a collection of pens and pencils in an empty Dior box, a thick stack of sketching paper, as well as a well stocked sewing kit, a golden pair of scissors sticking out.

She seemed to be in worse shape than he was, clearly not used to being given idle creative time, and Jovan smiled slightly, deciding to take pity on her.

“Hey, Violet.” Jovan pushed his chair out, scooting over to her table. “I’m working on this dress,” Jovan put his sketches down on Violet’s desk, “and I can’t figure out the hem length. Will you check it out?”

“Oh, um, sure…” Violet leaned over the desk table, pushing a bit of her hair behind her ear. Jovan hadn’t noticed the bracelet or her rings before, the golden jewelry clearly well worn, but also well taken care of. “What’s the problem?”

“See, I’m trying it three different ways, but they all feel wrong...” Jovan tapped his sketches, already enjoying how seriously Violet considered the question, examining each sketch closely and looking at them back and forth a few times before attempting an answer.

“I like the length on the second one, but the shoulders on the third one might balance it out more,” she finally said, and he smiled.

“Yeah, good call, thanks!” Jovan stretched, yawning slightly. He was already feeling much better, but Violet still looked lost.

“I need caffeine.” Jovan stood up. “You wanna come for some espresso or a latte or something?”

“Oh.” Violet looked genuinely surprised at his request, sneaking a quick glaze at Trixie’s closed office door before she made up her mind. “Um, alright…” Violet reached for her coat, but Jovan stopped her.

“No,” Jovan smiled. “I just mean the espresso machine we have in the break room.” Jovan pointed over his shoulder, Violet following his fingers, her brow furrowing. “You did know that we have a break room down here, right?”

Jovan had heard the rumor that Fame only drank Starbucks, though he hadn’t imagined that her assistants shared the luxury, but Violet shook her head, the woman both looking mystified and curious, and Jovan realised that he had never actually seen her in any of the Galactica break rooms ever.

“Come on,” Jovan grabbed her elbow, giving it a squeeze. “I’ll show you.”

***

“Stop, omigod, I can’t breathe,” Maxwell wheezed, clutching Bob’s shoulder and practically choking with laughter at his boyfriend’s story.

“No, but listen. Then Acid turned to him and-”

Maxwell reached up and covered Bob’s mouth with his hand, having just spotted Jovan strolling towards the break room with Violet in tow.

“Incoming mole,” he warned, giving a nod with his head.

Maxwell had been working at Galactica for his entire career - over ten years now. He’d seen many assistants come and go from Miss Fame’s office.

Most of the time, they moved on to other jobs in the industry, working for buyers or as stylists. Occasionally, they were promoted within the company. Shangela had started off as Fame’s assistant years ago, and so had Laganja in marketing. But this was the first time anyone had been sent to design. Granted, Violet was one of the more competent and longer-lasting assistants, but still.

He was suspicious.

Bob seemed perfectly ready to welcome Violet to the family with open arms. Maxwell, on the other hand, was more cautious, and the last thing he wanted was for Violet to walk in on some debaucherous story about drag queens.

“Look professional!” he hissed, before removing his hand.

“First of all, I’m always professional. And second, would you relax?” Bob smirked, leaning against the table, his favorite mug in hand. “She seems perfectly nice.”

“Oh please,” Maxwell huffed, “You just want upstairs gossip.”

For as long as Bob has been at the company--nearly as long as Maxwell, he’d been utterly fascinated with senior management. Their weird quirks and tempestuous moods, all the tabloid nonsense.

“Uh!” Bob gasped, holding a hand to his chest. “I resent that!”

“Well, resent it or not, it’s true,” Maxwell quipped.

“You name one time when I’ve been the source of gossip around here,” Bob said, a hand on his hip, in full queen mode.

“That’s...what...all the time!” Maxwell sputtered, caught off guard by that ridiculous defense. Bob was a notorious gossip. He was the only person Maxwell knew who still talked on the phone with multiple people every day, for fun. It was half the reason why they’d never moved in together, Maxwell unable to imagine living with Bob’s need to talk on the phone for hours in the evening. Maxwell enjoyed people too, sometimes, but after work, he more often than not wanted some peace and solitude.

“So you can’t name one specific time? Interesting.” Bob’s brown eyes glittered with amusement, always the happiest when he was in teasing mode.

“You’re impossible!” Maxwell turned to Jovan, who was now busy with the espresso machine. “Bob says he’s not a gossip.”

“Ha!” Jovan snorted. “Violet, what do you want?”

“An americano is more than fine.” Violet smiled, and Maxwell realised that he wasn’t sure if he had ever seen that expression on the former assistants face before.

He had never spoken with her before, Ivy always the assistant who came along to the design meetings, but he had seen her follow Fame down the halls, and he still remembered how bad he had felt for her during Fame’s temperature meltdown at their September show.

“Violet, Violet, Violet,” Bob put a hand down, turning his body towards her. “Do not listen to them.” Bob pouting at both Maxwell and Jovan. “I’m not a gossip. I’m a very trustworthy confidante, so if you have anything you need to share about, you know, upstairs...I’m all ears.” Bob grinned.

“Ah!” Maxwell cried triumphantly, “Case in fucking point you fucking gossip!”

“Upstairs?” Violet looked genuinely confused for a moment.

“You know,” Bob pointed at the ceiling, “Upstairs.”

“Ah.”

Maxwell made a face at Bob, clearing his throat slightly.

Why did he have to reveal everything right away? They didn’t know how trustworthy this girl was yet, and so they should really assume zero percent. It was the only safe and logical conclusion.

“Sorry, assistant code,” said Violet with an apologetic shrug. “My lips are sealed”

“Wow. Okay, I see how it is,” Bob said, and Maxwell rolled his eyes.

“Honestly Bob, what if she’d come down here and started reporting all kinds of rumors? Wouldn’t that make you concerned?” he asked, reaching up to tug on on Bob’s ear.

“Concerned…. Entertained… Potato, potahto.” Bob grinned, taking another sip from his mug.

“Goddammit,” Jovan said, struggling with the machine. “Cracks, can you help me? This fucking thing, we need a new one-”

“Sure.” Maxwell stepped over to the machine to assist. He remembered when Trixie first got it for them, almost six years ago, how everyone had just gone crazy over it. But lately it was acting up, and the designers were not pleased when they needed to wait an extra 30 seconds for coffee. The company should really take care of it before there was some kind of mutiny. He made a mental note to talk to Trixie later.

“So, Violet,” Bob continued, “How’s it going? Is our boy Jovan being cool, or is he in one of his moods?”

“Fuck off,” Jovan cut in, sitting down heavily. “I’m fucking delightful.”

Maxwell chuckled to himself over that, Jovan’s stormy moods something everyone in the department knew intimately.

“He’s been very kind,” Violet said, her hand gripping the edge of her skirt.

“Yeah, yeah.” Bob smiled, rolling his eyes. “Look, Violet, let me give you some advice,” Bob turned to Jovan. “You’ve gotta pay attention to that big vein in his forehead, and when it starts popping out...run.”

“Oh.”

“Eat a dick, Bob.”

“Yours?” Bob looked down, leering at Max’s brown khakis, a grin on his face, “Or like, any dick?” Bob teased, wiggling his brows. “Either way, I’m down.”

Maxwell rolled his eyes, giving Bob a Look intended to say ‘not in mixed company,’ gesturing towards Violet, the poor girl probably scandalized by this kind of talk, judging from her ramrod straight posture and demurely folded hands.

He turned to Jovan for backup, only to find him sitting at one of the tables, big wrinkly head in his hands. Maxwell tapped him on the shoulder, hoping to help him avoid an existential crisis before eleven am.

“How’s the Hanukkah dress?” Maxwell asked, which is what he’d been jokingly calling the blue cocktail number that poor Jovan was working on. Jovan rolled his eyes.

“Killing me. Violet had a good idea though, so I guess I’ll try that.”

“Are you gonna embroider a menorah on the front?” Maxwell teased.

“No, I was thinking that the skirt would just be a giant dreidel.”

Maxwell laughed at that, though truth be told, you could never be too sure with Jovan. He might just do it.

“Did Coach assign you anything yet, Violet?” Bob asked.

“No..” Violet tilted her head. “Is there a reason you call him that?”

“Oh. Yeah. So, Trixie’s the only straight guy around here-”

“Straight identified,” Maxwell corrected, and Violet snorted, quickly covering her mouth with her hand.

“Yeah, so, we like to give him shit. We call him Coach. You know...” Bob made his hand into a fist and punched Violet very lightly on the shoulder, deepening his voice. “Coach!”

“He’s the only straight guy, and of course he’s the one in charge of the department,” Jovan added pointedly.

“Well, yes, there’s also that,” Bob chuckled. “Anyway, have you gotten an assignment for the holiday collection? I’ve seen some pictures of your student stuff,” Trixie had dropped by with Violet’s portfolio, shoving it to Bob who had loved flipping through it. “I assumed you’d be doing gowns most of the time.”

“No-” Violet opened her mouth, but then seemed to rethink it, and close it again. “Not yet.”

“So...Chachki,” Maxwell said, handing her coffee over. “Are you Jewish?”

“No,” Violet said simply, and Bob burst out laughing.

“She said nope,” he giggled, popping the p.

“Well, where are you from? What’s your deal? Tell us everything,” Maxwell continued, undeterred by Bob’s laughter.

“Oh. Um… There’s not much to tell. I graduated from Parsons a few years ago. I’m originally from Atlanta-”

“Hey! Me too!” Bob exclaimed. “I’m from Clayton County. Where’d you go to high school?”

“-But I’ve been in New York since I was 13.”

“Oh, gotcha.”

“I got a job working for Miss Fame, and...that’s about it.” Violet looked around, her lip between her teeth.

“Wow. Fascinating,”

“Sorry, I’m not very interesting.”

“No no,” Maxwell said. “You should write a memoir.”

“Omigod, she’s like twelve years old, leave her alone,” Bob said. “In case you haven’t noticed, Violet, these guys are a mess and you should ignore 98% of everything they say.”

Bob put his arm around Maxwell, squeezing him affectionately even as the insults rolled off his tongue.

“And what about you?” Maxwell asked.

“Me?” Bob asked. “Oh, fully same.”

***

“What,” Violet was staring at the table, a brown concoction staring right back at her, “on earth is this?”

“You never seen one before?” Alexis smiled, getting in next to her, “They call it a cronut, girl. Everyone in the city is obsessed with them,” she grabbed one, “and they’re delicious.”

Violet had spent lunch with Alexis, Gia and April, the three women slipping back and forth between English and Spanish, their conversation practically impossible to follow, but Violet hadn’t minded.

It had been incredibly nice to just sit with someone for lunch without constantly checking her phone, Violet unsure if she had ever actually had an uninterrupted lunch break at Galactica before.

“Huh.” Violet bit her lip, still not too sure about the offered treat. “Are we already-”

“Hey, Violet-” Violet turned her head to see Blu slip in next to her, a big smile on the Irish woman's beautiful face. Her ginger hair was pushed back with a hairband, her grey eyes attentive and kind. “Are you coming to the happy hour?”

“Happy hour?”

“Mmh,” Blu nodded, “a couple of us always go round the corner for a pint on Mondays at 5:30. You know, for bonding and stuff.”

“Huh.” Violet bit her lip. She had seen Blu and Gia working that morning, but it seemed strange to her that they were expecting to be let go at 5:30, the whole thing even stranger since both Blu and Gia were actively enjoying the pastries.

“So, you coming?”

“Oh, no,” Violet did her best to smile, to look genuinely apologetic. “I can’t.”

Sutan had texted her about whether or not she wanted to come over after work, and Violet couldn’t wait to cuddle up on the couch, tucked safe and sound under Sutan’s arm. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Blu smiled, though Violet wasn’t sure it actually was based on the look in her eyes, “You can come next time-”

“Violet!” Blu was cut off as Trixie came over, “Blu! Are you enjoying the cronuts?”

“Yes boss,” Blu held up her cronut, over half of it gone. “It’s delicious.”

“Have you had any, Violet?”

“No, not yet.”

“Here.” Trixie grabbed a plate, quickly scooping one up for her. “It’s pumpkin chai this month!”

“Thanks.” Violet took it, unsure what to do. It wasn’t that she hated all desserts, wasn’t that she hated all sweets, but what she did hate was trying new things when she was feeling nervous, and even though everyone had been beyond kind to her so far, she couldn’t help the unsettling feeling in her stomach that something wasn’t right.

“I can’t wait to see your finished blouse,” Trixie was smiling, his hand on Blu’s arm. “I’m counting on you.”

“Mmh,” Blu nodded, pride in her eyes, and Trixie gave her one last squeeze, clearly intending to walk on and make sure everyone was having a good time.

“Trixie-” Violet took a step forward, her now boss turning around to look at her.

“Yes sweetheart?”

“I was wondering, if I could-” Violet wanted to throw herself out the window, the entire thing so terribly awkward, the fact that she was daring to even consider questioning her boss’ process, “it’s about the holiday collection-”

“Oh, that silly thing?” Trixie laughed, “Don’t worry about it.”

“But,” Violet took another step forward, “I’d like to, like to worry, that is-”

“You’ll watch the design meeting on Thursday, see how things are done around here.” Trixie smiled. “Ease into it, take it slow.”

“But I have an idea for-” Violet didn’t know if she was allowed, but she had already picked up a few of the unfavored fabric swatches, a white silk and some crushed red velvet so to Fame’s taste that she knew she had to give it a try.

“If you really want to speed things up, you can spend tomorrow shadowing April.”

“Really?” It wasn’t what Violet truly wanted, but anything, literally anything, would be better than another day of ‘taking it slow’.

“It’ll be perfect for you,” Trixie smiled, “I promise.”

Trixie then took a bite of the cronut in his hand, his eyes going wide. He turned from Violet to call out, “Kimberly! Kim, did you try these pumpkin chai cronuts?! Oh my god...”

As her boss wandered off to wax poetic about his pastry, Violet dug her fingers into her palm. Wasn’t this department supposed to be the lifeblood of the company? Why was everyone so chill?

Violet tried to be positive, tried to believe that Trixie was only doing what he thought best for her, but she couldn’t help wondering if she was still working for Galactica, the feeling of utterly uselessness washing over her for the first time since she had started at the company.

***

“Are you feeling chopsticks or fork?”

“Fork please.”

“Of course.” Violet smiled as Sutan began to dig through his cutlery drawer, soft jazz playing from the radio in the window. She had gotten somewhat used to seeing him without his suits in Paris, early morning Sutan walking around in pajama pants and t-shirts for as long as he could, but there was something special about seeing him in casual chinos and the sweaters he seemed to favor now that it was getting colder outside.

They were in his kitchen, Violet sitting at the table. When she had come over, Sutan had been setting up in the dining room, but she had asked him if they could please sit in the kitchen instead, the room so much cosier and lived in than the dining room.

Violet had been looking forward to her first day in design since she started at Galactica, but now that she had gotten there, it felt like a hollow victory.

She was sure tomorrow would be better, that it’d be more meaningful, but for now, she just wanted to spend time with the man she really genuinely liked.

“Here you go.” Sutan handed her the fork. “You know,” Sutan smirked, crossing his arms, “You should really learn how to use chopsticks.”

“I know how to use chopsticks,” Violet looked up at Sutan, putting her fork down. “I just prefer not to.”

“Sure lovely eyes.” Sutan grinned, grabbing the back of her chair, leaning down to kiss her, when the doorbell rang.

“Ah,” Sutan gave her a quick peck, his lips tasting faintly like peppermint with an undercurrent of cigarettes, his eyes sparkling.

“That must be the food.” Sutan stood up, reaching into his pocket for a wad of cash Violet hadn’t even noticed. “Do you mind finishing setting the table?”

“Of course not.” Violet stood herself as Sutan walked out, and she quickly crossed the room, opening the cabinet she knew housed Sutan’s plates.

The request hadn’t been anything out of the ordinary, Violet helping more often than not, but as she actually looked at the kitchen table, she realized what she had accidentally said yes to.

Sutan’s laptop was sitting in the middle, but besides that, the table was covered in work stuff, Sutan’s laptop, headshots, what Violet could only assume was contracts, folders and modeling portfolios spread all over.

She couldn’t see any kind of system, and if she had been at work she wouldn’t have dared to move a single thing, but Sutan had asked her to take care of it, and take care of it she would.

Violet knew Sutan had an office, but she had never actually seen him use it, or heard him mention it. Violet felt weird moving Sutan’s work things, but as she quickly piled it all on one end of the table, she recognized that this was probably why she liked the kitchen so much.

It was obviously the place in the apartment Sutan used the most, and the one she instinctively felt was more Sutan than Raja; everywhere else, even Sutan’s own bedroom, so obviously designed and furnished by his twin.

It was a strange thought that Raja had so much influence on Sutan’s life, but it wasn’t something she was ever going to bring up, their relationship none of her business.

Violet was just a moment in time for Sutan, so who was she to make any sort of suggestion about anything.

“Ah, great.” She was just setting the plates, when Sutan returned with more takeout bags than Violet had ever expected. “You’re almost done.”

“Are we expecting company?”

“Company?” Sutan looked confused for a moment, and Violet nodded her head towards the food in his arms, which caused him to laugh. “Please. This is just for us.” Sutan put the bags down, opening up the first one. “I figured it was worth celebrating your first day.”

“Huh.” Violet sat down on her chair once again, watching as Sutan produced one white cardboard carton after another. “How much did you get?”

“Oh you know, just a little bit of everything. I have dumplings, wontons and egg rolls, chow mein, orange chicken, beef and broccoli, black pepper scallops, garlic eggplant. I wasn’t sure what you’d like.”

Violet didn’t want to tell Sutan that she only had a very limited idea of what she genuinely liked beyond orange chicken and white rice, a childhood of bland suburban chain restaurants and her years in New York on a tight budget never leaving her much room for indulgence.

“Interesting.” Violet bit her lip, but Sutan grinned, continuing the unpacking. “Have you ever heard of cronuts?”

“What?” Sutan paused, a carton in hand. He turned to her, an eyebrow raised. “Lovely eyes. I may be older than you, but I don’t live under a rock?”

“Hmm.” Violet had no idea that cronuts were apparently so well known, but she wasn’t going to show Sutan that. “We had them at work today.”

“Did you like them?”

“Not really.” Violet took the carton of rice Sutan handed her. “They take a lot of breaks, at work, I mean.”

“Sounds like a nice place.” Sutan smiled, sitting down.

VIolet nodded, opening her rice as Sutan started talking about his day. It was always nice to be around him, Sutan often chatting away in his low baritone, filling out the silence so Violet never felt obligated to speak if she didn’t want to.

“Oh-” Sutan paused, a piece of broccoli in his chopsticks. “That reminds me. What are you wearing on Friday?”

“Friday?” Violet quickly ran through her week in her head, and she was fairly certain that she had nothing on the agenda for friday.

“Yes? For Bianca’s birthday.”

“Bianca’s birthday? Bianca Del Rio?”

“Mmh.” Sutan popped the broccoli in his mouth, quickly chewing it. “It’s her 40th, and I figured it’d be nice if we coordinated.”

“Oh.” Violet bit her lip. Surprised that Sutan was dumping it on her like this, since she knew for a fact that he hadn’t mentioned it until this very moment. “And the birthday is this Friday?”

Violet tried to hide her anxiety, her heart speeding up in her chest. She didn’t have any idea what the dress code was and what to wear or where the party was being held.

“I can invite someone else?”

“What?” Violet’s head snapped up at the words. Sutan looked completely relaxed, like he hadn’t just dropped a gigantic bomb, like this wasn’t strange at all, like it was normal for him to have so many girls lined up that he could find someone with no problem at all.

“If you don’t want to go-”

“No, no.” Violet closed her hand, digging her fingers into her palm under the table. “It’s fine. It’s fine. I’ll figure something out.”

[somethingpoeticiguess]

Ohshc Au Idea

- Ohshc Au where they all go to art school (both performing and drawing and stuff y’know (is it called visual??))

- Sort of like the same vibe as that show on Netflix called Backstage

- The school would be one of those super prestigious art schools like the Juilliard of their universe

- Tamaki would obviously be there to study piano

- he’d spend hours in the practice rooms and all of the other pianists hate him because he’s got some sort of superhuman power when it comes to booking practice rooms before anyone else

- Kyoya would be vocal performance with a minor in Broadway type acting (help I don’t know the actual terms)

- here I go again rambling about my Kyoya can sing headcanon that I will go down with 

-Babey boy would probably be known as one of those people who can sing anything throughout the school

- Everyone from school can tell his voice apart from everyone else’s

- like if they walk past a practice room and hear him singing inside they can tell instantly that it’s him

- like picture this: a senior is giving a freshman a tour of the college and they walk past the practice rooms and inside practice room 3 the Freshman can hear someone singing in the best voice that they have ever heard. The freshman says to the senior with starstruck eyes “Who’s that??” “Ahh” the senior says “That’s Kyoya Ootori, he’s kind of a legend around here”

- Hikaru would be a Shakespearean type actor

- Like he has whole ass monologues on the tip of his tongue at any given moment

- He’s a super good actor however he can’t sing for shit so he could never be in a musical

- He’s secretly jealous because Kyoya can sing so well

- They’re secretly jealous of each other

-Kyoya wishes he could act as well as Hikaru and Hikaru wishes he could sing as well as Kyoya

- Kaoru would be the one to take over their mother’s business and would study fashion and clothing design 

- Even though Hikaru is the eldest he had no interest in the family business and decided to pursue acting instead 

- Luckily for the Hitachiin family Kaoru took to clothing design from a very early age

- He makes clothes for the rest of the hosts on a regular basis

-He makes all of the clothes that the hosts wear for their performances and art galleries and whatnot

- The drama department loves him because he makes all of their costumes

- Mori would be a sketch artist, a painter, and a sculptor

- He’d basically do everything in the art department from drawing to welding metal figures

- he doesn’t talk much so he communicates through his art as cheesy as that sounds

- He constantly has either paint on his clothes, clay under his nails, or both at the same time

- People in the general public are slightly concerned when he opens his bag and they see a blowtorch inside

- His metal sculptures are littered all across campus

- Some of these sculptures include but are not limited to: A giant replica of Mary Poppins, Patti Lupone (Kyoya legit cried when he saw this one), and a giant metal spider that the students have so aptly named Kenneth

- Kenneth lives on top of the Art building 

- Despite the fact that he’s an art student he really loves showtunes and gets really excited to see/hear Kyoya sing them

- Honey is a culinary arts student

- His specialty is (obviously) desserts

- He makes the prettiest cakes and the most delicious meals

- He has to stand on a step ladder to make those giant wedding type cakes

- He constantly smells like a bakery... like constantly

- Haruhi is a violinist

- she treats her violin like a baby. She even keeps it in the child seat part of the cart when she goes to the grocery store

- She goes to the school on a violin scholarship 

- She plays a cheap violin she got from a small music store when she was ten with her birthday/Christmas money that she had been saving for years 

- The way she plays that cheap little violin you’d think it was a super nice expensive one 

- She’s mostly self taught

- When she was young she couldn’t afford lessons so she taught herself to play

- She only began to take lessons when she got to high school

- I imagine when she isn’t playing classical for school her playing sounds a lot like Ada Pasternak

- Ada Pasternak Video: https://youtu.be/YQSzk44hBmk

- when they don’t live in the dorms they rent a fairly large house that they all live in together (like that house that Sam Golbach, Colby Brock, Corey Scherer, Aaron Doh, Devyn Lundy, Jake Webber, and Elton Castee lived in together) 

- Tamaki has a whole ass grand piano in his room 

- Nobody’s really sure how he got it in there

- He also has a keyboard that he brings around the house for jam sessions with the other hosts

- They have jam sessions in the living room

- Tamaki brings down his keyboard or he plays the little theatre piano that sits in their living room

- Haruhi brings down her little violin that she loves with all of her heart Kyoya would sing with them

- They’d do stuff like that Ada Pasternak video I put earlier in this post except instead of Haruhi singing it would be Kyoya

- Mori’s room legitimately would not be a bedroom

- It would be an art studio with a Mori sized bed in the corner and a theatre style clothing rack next to it

- he has like four easels all around the room and a desk covered in drawing pads, pencils, ink markers, colored pencils, oil paint, and random multicolored stains

- In the middle of the room he has a raised platform with whatever sculpture he’s currently working on sitting on top of it

- He has a shelf with all sorts of supplies in it

- He has like three different blowtorches, a huge array of paint brushes, different sharp things for his clay sculptures, hammers, a bunch of books on the history of art, and a dirty paint and clay covered apron with random burn holes in it

- Kyoya has like a whole arsenal of throat coat teas and herbal things in his room as well as a kettle and a hot plate

- In the corner he built a small room that only has room for one average sized person to go inside and coated the inside with sound proof padding and that’s where he practices belting and other different vocal techniques 

- Kyoya absolutely loves their giant bathroom

- The acoustic qualities make him really excited he loves to sing in there 

- Kyoya, Tamaki, and Haruhi sometimes jam in their fantastically acoustic bathroom because they are attracted to good acoustics the same way a moth is attracted to a bright light

- Hikaru has a whole library of scripts in his room

- like his bookshelves are just overflowing with scripts from all the plays he’s been in 

- Some books on Shakespeare and the ins and outs of acting are scattered around the bookshelf too but it’s mostly scripts

- On his desk he keeps the script from the show that he’s currently in right in the middle of his desk with a pencil cup in the corner full of pens and highlighters 

- He has a huge bulletin board in his room filled with pictures from different shows and different print outs of his favorite monologues and whatnot

- Kaoru’s room is similar to Mori’s in the sense that it’s barely a bedroom at all

- He has a small bed and a small dresser and the rest of the space is filled with his work

- He has a huge desk that is covered in scraps of fabric, scissors, and measuring tape

- He has a HUGE pin cushion in the corner that would be an absolute hazard if it fell to the ground

- Above his desk is a giant bulletin board similar to Hikaru’s except his is less of a collage and more of an idea board

- It’s full of sketches for new designs and has the occasional magazine clipping or inspirational quote

- Honey basically lives in the kitchen 

- His room only has a bed and a dresser and a few ginormous bookshelves

- on these bookshelves are countless numbers of cookbooks

- 90% of what’s on these bookshelves is actually just regular notebooks and journal type things full of recipes that Honey has come up with himself 

- The kitchen is HIS domain none of the other hosts ever use it other than to get the occasional glass of water or snack here and there

- They basically eat gourmet every night

- He cooks all of their meals and uses them as his guinea pigs 

- Luckily for them 99% of the time his food is absolutely delicious

- Their house is full of just bits and pieces of what they do

- Mori’s artwork decorates the entire place

- The centerpiece for their table is a bouquet of metal flowers that Mori made

- His paintings decorate the walls and some of his sculptures sit as decorations in some of the different rooms

- There is sheet music literally all over the house

- nobody bats an eye when hey find the crescendo piece of a classical violin song on the kitchen table

- or when they find the lyrics to a classical opera song jammed in between the couch cushions

- Kaoru will often use Haruhi as his model for his dresses 

- he’ll have her put on a tank top and bike shorts and literally build a dress onto her body and by the end she’s walking around the house in a whole ass Victorian style ballgown

- God help their house if Kyoya gets sick before a performance

- The amount of throat coat tea he consumes is absolutely unreal

- He has a little table with shelves behind it in his room with a tea kettle and a hot plate on it

- on the shelves behind it are boxes upon boxes of throat coat and herbal tea and a whole arsenal of mugs

- The house always smells like cooking food because Honey lives in the kitchen and is always cooking something or other

-When it doesn’t smell like food it smells like burning metal because Mori is always working on some sort of metal sculpture with one of his countless blowtorches 

- This boy legit keeps a fire extinguisher in his bedroom in case he sets something on fire with said blowtorch

- Christmas season is absolutely wonderful in their house

- Tamaki and Haruhi are playing Christmas songs

- Kyoya is singing them

- Honey is making all sorts of festive dishes (You should see him on Thanksgiving he goes absolutely ham (pun intended))

- Kaoru is making festive outfits

- Mori makes each and every one of their Christmas decorations

- and Hikaru is practicing his lines for the production of A Christmas Carol that he’s in every year (This is his fourth time playing Scrooge!)

- But all in all this is a house where creativity flourishes and they all boost each other’s creativity to the max

- and of course they all graduate and become extremely successful and stay close knit forever

BONUS:

- Renge is also a vocalist she performs with Kyoya very often

- Kasanoda is a ballet student

- People are surprised he does something so graceful and elegant because he looks scary but when you really think about it it fits his personality 

- Nekozawa is a poet (Edgar Allan Poe 2.0)

[shadowofadalekmightdeactivate]

Still Human Chapter 8

The snow swirled around him, stinging his hands even as he stuffed them into his trench coat. He was waiting for someone-who, he still didn’t know. The letter wasn’t exactly descriptive- “Whatcha reading?”

Virgil jolted, slamming his novel closed. “Nothing!” Talyn gave him a look that said ‘bullshit’. They slid into the chair beside him as he started to stuff the book into his bag. “No, hey, really, what were you reading?” “Just something stupid,” he muttered, embarrassed. “I just finished studying and-“ “Studying for Professor Ester’s class, hm.” Talyn noticed the opened textbook in front of him, which he’d abandoned in favour of the book. He nodded, glad to change the subject. “My-my art professor got snowed in, so she said we’d be having a class later tonight instead. So I’m studying.” “Cool, cool.” They nodded. “Need a study buddy?” “I-I work better alone.” “Oh. Okay.” Talyn seemed to get the hint, standing up. Virgil sighed with relief, digging the book back out of his bag. “What’s the title of the book, anyway?” Jesus tap-dancing Christ, Talyn teleported. Their voice behind him almost made him jump out of his skin. “NOTHING!” “Come on, Virgil…Can I see?” “No!” “Why?” Because it’s part of my past. Because it’s something I care about more than I do myself. “Because I said so.” Talyn threw their hands in the air, finally giving up. Virgil sighed with relief as they noticed a friend and went over to say hi. If they found out he was secretly a novel geek, he’d never hear the end of it.

“The elements of art are as follows: form, shape…” Virgil’s chin fell into his hand, painfully bored. Apparently his art professor had forgotten she was teaching for collage, not grade 9 high school. He glared at the back of her head when she turned away. “Are you as bored as I am?” He finally asked Roman, who was mindlessly doodling on the paper he was supposed to be writing on. The redhead nodded. “Haven’t been this bored since The Bee Movie.” Virgil bit his lip to keep from laughing. That’s harsh. “You don’t like the movie?” “It’s a movie about bugs! I hate bugs.” Oh, Roman, if you only knew. “Whatever you say, Ro.” Virgil punched him lightly, more of a shove, then pulled his sketchbook out of his bag. If he’s in art, he might as well do something productive. He flipped through the pages, realizing he’d drawn most of the people he knew but Roman. That would not stand! He flipped to a new page, shot Roman a glance, then started sketching. The building’s harsh light made Roman’s red hair turn almost orange-ish, making it look like he had dyed his hair florescent orange before he came to class. The ridiculous detail made it too hard to make a serious picture of his friend, so he decided to just make a cartoonish version of him. With the words ‘DO NOT SHOW ANYONE’ written under the finished product in black marker. “What’re you laughing at?” Roman craned to look at Virgil’s sketchbook, backing off when he pulled it closer to him and hissed. “I just wanna see…” “It’s-personal,” Virgil stammered, fighting the blush creeping up his cheeks. Roman gave him a blank look. “Something in bright orange can be personal?” “I want you to create an art piece using all of the elements!” The art professor called. “It’s due a week from today. Virgil stuffed his things into his bag, bending his sketchbook. That was going to drive him crazy later, but whatever. Saved by the crazy…

He slumped against the door, running his fingers through his hair to get rid of any snow. It’s not even the middle of November and he was already sick of the stuff. At least his novel survived the onslaught. Virgil pulled said ratty book out of his backpack, throwing the bag under his bed before flopping onto the purple sheets. It may be too early to read something Christmas related-but it was in November’s double digits and there was a thick blanket of snow on the ground. As far as he was concerned, he had an excuse. And besides, the dorm was having a smores night. What better thing to do was there than curl up beside the main room fireplace, listen to music and read a book? His phone buzzed an hour into blissful reading. He pulled it out in irritation.

You: what Blond Bitch: there you are! Blond Bitch: your coming to smores night, right? You: maybe Blond Bitch: great! Blond Bitch: Valerie’s coming over, too. Blond Bitch: Remember her? You: maybe Blond Bitch: I gotta go, Mae’s dragging me off to go shopping. You: riveting Blond Bitch: right? Blond Bitch: I’ll see you tonite

Nonbinaryhairdye: hey V Nonbinaryhairdye: what’re you up to? You: jackshit Nonbinaryhairdye: sweet Nonbinaryhairdye: mind if I come over? Nonbinaryhairdye: we can do jackshit together

Virgil found himself smiling. Talyn seemed to be the first person he met in collage that spoke his language. Come to think of it…Knowing Lily, she won’t let him read at Smores Night all night anyway. And he didn’t want to risk losing the book at the commons. So bringing Talyn along would give him 2 things: 1: A reason to make Lily back off 2: Someone who he’d actually want to talk to.

You: actually my dorms having smores night tonight if you wanna come You: *dorm’s Nonbinaryhairdye: free smores? Im in Nonbinaryhairdye: when? You: I think around 9 Nonbinaryhairdye: sold Nonbinaryhairdye: im crashing that party and you can’t stop me Nonbinaryhairdye: >:3

Virgil laughed, covering his mouth wish his hand to smother it. He found himself looking forward to the night.

[orbyssarchives]

A Brief tl;dr

This is probably a lot to say for 20 unfinished webcomic pages and I know I can be fairly long-winded so if you just wanna skip ahead and click through the pictures I’ve put up, I understand.

The TL;DR is

Hello and welcome to Mage Punk Archives! My name is Tables and this is some of the work that I’ve done over the last few years and what I’ve been up to in my little corner of the world. This is the third and last of a series of posts, outlining a number of updates that I completed on the site.

Included are some of my inspirations and a little of what I’ve learned so far about myself as an ever growing artist up to this point.

After this, I want to keep the content more focused on the actual art and story.

  I’ll post to this site as often as I am able.

    Thanks for reading!

  ***

Long Ago, Before the miracle of handheld internet searches and Instagram

When I was but a young, internet webling, I was heavily into shitty online flash games and looking for anything even remotely related to my interests at the time. From Mario and Sonic to various comics, videos games, anime and things never to be said aloud (pornpornporn). My love of the likes of Super Mario Bros and Sonic the Hedgehog (big fandoms for me at the time) would later lead me to sprite comics. Today, my feelings for the little hodge podge collage strips of old video game sprite sheets and backgrounds are a little mixed.

(They were beautiful and I’m gonna make one someday)

Then, in Highschool, I took a basic Web Design class. It was a VVoid World Web of Notepad and Internet Explorer where a kindly old crone passed on to those of us there, some knowledge of the ancient runic language which forms the foundations of the World Wide Web: HTML. Tables, frames, css, oh my! This knowledge would eventually prove invaluable.

Throughout our studies we were occasionally allowed to venture out into the Wider World Web. It was during these little adventures and travels across the Web that I happened upon the magical land of Webcomics. It was also during this time that I began break free of the enchantment of sprites. Even though I would probably never return to them, they would always hold a special place in my heart.

  The Internet is for [Comics]

    Webcomics – Synonymous with “Masochism”

At first, I had no idea just how grueling webcomics could be. Most webcomic artists pump out pages one to three times a week. At the time I got into them, MegaTokyo, then still partially a video game webcomic, was just releasing its third printed book; 2-3 updates a week with a loosely set schedule. Evan Dahm was wrapping up his surreal fantasy epic, Rice Boy; with updates consistently going up Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The various sprite and drawn webcomics that I was following at the time were updating all the time. Seeing all the great work going up, I felt encouraged to try it myself.

I drew these closer to the end of my junior year of high school.

Desu

Taking major inspiration from a lot of the manga and anime that I was enjoying then, I used pen and ink to make my comic pages. I liked working in black and white because it felt direct and skipping on color made it easier to finish faster. I figured I could work faster if I didn’t have to worry about the extra step. When I did want to use color, as is typical for the early pages of a new manga, I used markers.

At the time, I had no idea that mangakas used assistants. That’s messed up.

Not to say that it was completely unrealistic, but back in the real world I could only average one black and white page a week. If even. The spider webs I was drawing all over were so that I wouldn’t have to use a ruler to draw my panel proper borders. I thought it gave the comic an “old archive”. In the end, I concluded that the spider webs should have their place and not be all over.

This time, I decided to work a little more carefully and deliberately.

  Moving Forward

It was going pretty well but by the time page 7 rolled around, it was time for midterms and I had become too self-conscious and uncomfortable with the way I was drawing my comic pages then. Then, it was time to take finishing high school seriously and before I knew it, I was a freshman at The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale. I did a lot of growing in the next four years that I attended there. Unfortunately, I never revisited those pages. Instead, near the end of my sophomore year, I took a Sequential Art class where the Final was a full-color, 5-page comic.

These are the ink-wash versions of the 7-page Final that I submitted. I’d originally colored them digitally to meet project requirements but I don’t want to post those just yet..

  In the End

I wasn’t satisfied. The truth was that I waited until the last minute, rushed it, and over-reached on a re-draw that wasn’t much fun for me to work on. During the course of that Sequential Art class my professor turned my attention to artists like Moebius and Mike Mignola. I also came across Katsuya Terada’s stuff around this time.

  And school went on…

    I worked on Mage Punk when I could between assignments.

    Between thinking I could possibly work on a for-print comic…

    …and a webcomic at the same time.

  The End was Near

Most of these were actually made towards the end of my four years at Ai. Those of us graduating were tasked with compiling our work from the years past in accordance with the requirements for obtaining our degrees. I believe that we were given two semesters to gather our pieces and do any revisions to previous works to get them up to date with the rest of the portfolio piece. Illustration Graduates at AiFL were typically required to gather a required selection of their work into an on-demand printed book. The year that I graduated, my department decided to change things around a little. Specifically, we were given the option to collect the requirement work into a plain black binder portfolio and make the printed book more geared towards our pursuits. I opted to make a Mage Punk/Orbyss Archives “Zine” as my main portfolio piece.

  And Then College was Over

I drew a few more pages of the comic until I became employed full-time. These days, there aren’t enough free hours in my days for me to keep up with any typical webcomic’s update schedule so for a long while I stopped working on the comic altogether. I’m squeezing as much work out of every second that I’m not there; with whatever energy I can muster. This includes planning, writing, sketching and drawing. Before I got back to work on the site, I was posting fairly regularly to my Twitter and Instagram; those posts took time to do as well.

  Most of this post was written in separate sessions on my commutes to work.

“Shortcuts”

Even though I always wanted to present Mage Punk as a webcomic, I always worked on it like it would go to print eventually. This created a confusing mindset for me when working on the comic, where I had to work on a whole book, but I have to rush to finish every page. If I wanted to put out pages more frequently I took shortcuts at any point I could to be done with them. Even if I created a good buffer of finished pages, I’d still run into that same pitfall eventually. I wasn’t enjoying my project because of a pressure I applied on myself to finish it in a way I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with. I didn’t even get that much done in the end.

It’s important that I work on it at a pace that lets me show the best of my ability. I would love it if I could be properly finished with the pages before I post them but if I wait before it’s all good and done I’ll just never get around to posting anything, forever floating, aimlessly, throughout creative internet limbo.

Instead, if I have to work on my comic in piecemeal, I’ll just post it up in piecemeal. Mage Punk will still be presented as a webcomic but, until the end of the book is done, certain changes are still a possibility. Editing is an important part of producing any book and I’m going to make its presentation reflect that.

  Cue Rhidiculous shouting “I told you so!” from some nearby bushes.

  A Webcomic in Presentation Only?

Those Two Images are the Same Page

Instead of trying to finish things at breakneck speeds, I’m going to work on the comics at a more reasonable pace. I’ll try to work on it mainly Chapter to chapter instead of page to page like how a webcomic normally is done (buffers aside) This gives me the opportunity to take a step back and get a broader look at the story while still putting out content in enjoyable chunks.

It’s difficult for me to wrap my head around drawing a comic on a start-to-finish, page-by-page basis. While I was working on the later pages in the chapter I kept finding myself jumping around and making changes to previous pages to make some things more consistent with later parts of the story. Instead of working page-by-page, I was editing the chapter as a whole to try to strengthen the narrative I’m trying to tell.

To that end, I still want to present it on this site as a webcomic; if only in name and archive.

The Process

At the VERY longtime behest of my editor, I’ll be presenting the comic as a work in progress at various points in the following production stages.

Writing

I’ll post dialog excerpts here and there. Nothing that can spoil the story too much.

This step will be kept largely behind the scenes.

Thumbnails

I do these on index cards in ballpoint pen to figure out the sequence of events that I most prefer.

This is the step where I’m prone to overloading a page with information.

First Drafts

Full size roughs of the earlier thumbnails. This step helps me get a better sense of how crowded or unbalanced a page might be early on.

This step also helps to prune out any strenuous scenes or dialog that could otherwise have their own pages.

If it isn’t working visually at this point, it’s not going to work in the next step.

Pencils

This is where the real drawing happens. Drawings in this step are made by either digital or traditional means depending on when or where I’m working.

Inking

This step is exactly like the drawing step but in pen and ink. Despite my affinity for real pen and ink, I’ll mainly be working this step digitally.

Color

This step is wrought with indecision but it also one of the faster, more fun steps to do.

Lettering

I’ve removed the dialog from all the pages currently up, opting to keep that out until a chapter is completed; it’s the thing I’m likeliest to change the most frequently until the end.

All lettering is currently done digitally but I’m considering the possibility of hand lettering.

Drawing dialog can be quite fulfilling but it takes a lot of practice.

Editing

This part will be happening all throughout. Page re-orders, panel redraws, changes in dialog.

Until the book is done.

  Here We Are

I’ve already made some revisions to a handful of the pages that are already up; if you browse through the comics you can see the revisions noted in the comic descriptions. I’ll make blog posts for any major revisions or series of revisions that I do. I have a few ideas for some smaller projects that I can work on while I work on Mage Punk. Whether they be illustrations, stories, or even mini-comics like this silly thing down here.

      Moving on

I might have also mentioned before that I have a few other drawings that I wanted to make for the site. In particular I have a neat idea for some social media icon illustrations. I wanna make something that takes advantage of what I’ve learned with using CSS. It’s nothing too fancy.

All that said, future posts will be a bit more brief than these last three were. I’d much rather write and post about the work itself, but I feel like I’ve hit a personal milestone and felt the need to ramble on about it a little.

    Until next time,

  Thanks for reading!

    The Big Site Update (Part 3) A Brief tl;dr This is probably a lot to say for 20 unfinished webcomic pages and 

[tiliqi]

Sonic 25th anniversary art book review

Hey guys, it’s Shadow. I bought this book. And I’m really emotional about it.

This review will feature a lot of pictures to prove my points.

TLDR; Don’t buy the book. Just ask me if you want a picture of anything. I believe other ppl already made scans of the good pages but If you want me to I can make scans of the few pages that atually do have concept art.

edit: you can buy the book ofc i just think its not worth it, mostly when you are poor as fuck like me and u go in for an investment. (though it would help maybe getting another, better one? I’m kinda conflicted here)

Onto the review:

Fist of all: this book is bigger than you think.

This is an intuos pen&touch small as size ref

The book weighs a ton and the quality of color and pager is amazing! 10/10 for quality. The binding seems lovely too.

Opening up you immediately feel the sonic atmosphere and you are greeted with text that i was unable to read because it had long ass fucking text in unnecessary passages.

I guess it could be of interest for some hardcore fans, or people who know nothing about the series at all, but as a fan it is very disheartening to see a fuckton of text about one single game, and then have other games completely dismissed from existence.

Sonic and the secret rings was totally left out and not mentioned once in the book, design changes like they happened in riders were not explained.

But. I need to get back in track and start with some formal stuff here.

The book has 245 Pages.

About 160 of those pages are dedicaded to the classic games ( 7 first years of sonic the hedgehog)

(pictured is the distribution between classic area 1991-1998 on the left; and the entire rest of sonic to the right)

And, don’t get me wrong, I would not be mad about this if there was actual good content like tons of sketches and level concepts! But there’s none of that.

instead we get this:

Huge prints of ingame sprites. A fuckton of them.

It’s nice to see how they designed the enemies but why Did they print out pixelated sprites so huge and with so much care for clean back grounds and then have messes like this

These two pages are the only ones in which these characters were ever mentioned at all.

Blaze’s debut game, Sonic Rush, was not mentioned once except for the little “info” on her page saying that she did actually debut in this game and it did, infact, exist.

We get worse pages, though.

These two are the only pages to 06 that we do get to see, and silver didn’t even get a double spread page. They just slapped the sketches on there, tiny, crowded.

Disrespectful.

How did they introduce other characters? Let’s have a look at a classic character!

wow that is neat!

t-theres more?

that feels kind of unnecessarily big but okay.

(he got one more double page of art with him and sonic together and he is seen in multiple other art pieces for other games throguhout the book. He’s also on one of those cool pages that you can extend out for a parnorama of chemical plant)

I thought! Hey every character will get such a cool introduction!

Thought.

The last character to get one of these is Shadow.

I thought: hey cool concept art! I can’t wait for everyone to have concept pages vs Final pages! Mostly cant wait for the silver one haha (we all know how that ended)

b-black on black? Shadow SA style art from 1998 ????

Boom shadow from 2016??? But boom came out 2014 ??? (they got that right w all other charcaters)

What comes right after that boom shadow, though? Big the cat.

and after big comes this disgrace.

This is the first time we see our God of Destruction: Chaos. And, besides a sonic battle spread, it is the only time. We don’t get to see perfect chaos. We don’t get to see SADX concept sketches. all we get is this:

It’s the same hue of orange. Why is it the runners model? We don’t know. Theres no concept of the echidna tribe, nothing to the lore...

Infact, the only modern game they offer concept art of is SA2.

Like w the classics they gave us stuff like this

below is all just for sonic 1 (or just sonic in 1991 in general as the book tends to organize things)

( i decided to leave out the 30 more pages of sprites and promotional art and unrelated jumbo that was more abt sonics image as new mascot for SEGA)

The below art is for sonic 2

kinda sparse, and not as much, but still colored concept art for the levels and stuff, right! I mean there are also tails sprites and promotional art and box art and variants and all that!!

lets move on to the more modern games!

Oh cool the SA games!!!

screenshots next to concept art! Me likey!

Wow that’s so cool! I’ve already seen two of those in generations but that’s fine! Cool having them physical now!

Oh my god! So much concept art! This is so cool! Even when non of it is colored I cherish it its so good!

I can’t wait to see this for all the games!!! Story book ones!!! yes!!! I’d like to see early concepts of riders!!!

(I totally forgot how little pages were left at this point)

I can’t wait to see unleashed concept art!!! The one I saw in my game is sooo good cant wait to have this shit printed!!!

Dragon road? nice! Oh hello there promo art!

woha a double spread page! This image is really unspectacular but I guess it’s nice!!! Can’t wait to see-

oh. Oh. that’s already all there is to unleashed.

Concept art? Who is that? Never heard of her.

Box art and characters is all we know. Screenshots maybe

anyone ask for a giant ass print of a screenshot of greenhill classic? no? too bad.

Don’t get me started on the 7 pges of Sonic Boom they have squeezed in there

While I hate boom, we can’t dismiss this horrible layout choice. Tiny pictures? Really?

What’s on the next page then that you don’t have the space for making them ncie and big?

Did they literally use a filler on that right page? You could’ve used that for concept art.

?????  YOU COULD’VE USED THIS INK TO PRINT A PRETTY SONIC UNLEASHED CONCEPT COLLAGE W TINY ASS PICTURES LIKE YOU DID W SONIC BOOM ON THAT TEXT PAGE.

Maybe I’m the biased one who thinks of Modern games to be of importance and for them to be more aesthetic and pretty and all that (i mean its mainly bc my fucked up brain cant process the classic games, too much color, too much going on, too sharp on the eyes)

but is it too much to want an even spread between classic and modern? To want justive for all the amazing characters?

If you didn’t get the book yet, then please dont. It’s not worth your money.

There are 5k prints of this book, and I sure as hell hope that there will be 5k disappointed fans.

[cutterl]

Art Summary 2017 (IPad Only)

Decided to put together one of the collage things from this year of digital drawings. This was the first year I had a tablet to draw on, instead of just doing Miiverse stuff, so I was trying to learn how to do more with the new huge improvement of tools (colors and canvas size probably being the biggest). Honestly I’m kind of surprised that I made at least one digital drawing per month, which gave me very little selection for most months, but I guess it was easy to make this.

Just looking at these drawings, I personally don’t see much improvement displayed here, but I know that I did improve in my skills. If I can get myself to do it, in 2018 I think I’d really like to focus more on just drawing itself and sketching, mainly on more dynamic natural looking poses and angles, and maybe some background stuff. A little less priority on line weight, and color. This will possibly mean I’ll upload more rough things on a faster basis...or not feel they’re good enough to upload and have less stuff. And without Miiverse, that means there will be less of splitting my time to draw for different places. Speaking of Miiverse, I may do another one of these with just Miiverse drawings...well I guess that’s all I have to say, I hope 2018 is a good year for everyone to grow and improve in all ways in life.

[nevillelongsbottom]

some muggle high school au george/draco for the @hprarepairnet​ and @slytherdornet​ summer vacation challenge!

draco doesn’t take art until his last year of high school which, by all means, is a very stupid decision, but fuck - his timetable’s a barren wasteland and he’s got to fill it with something and art should be easy enough, right?

the only other option was drama and they’re a clique over there

art, at least, is not a clique: but the teachers are intimidating and everybody knows everybody else already and he’s just awkwardly outside - pupils stare and watch him like a hawk, and he watches them stubbornly back

there are pupils, too, who don’t even seem to ever actually do any classes and just wander around the art department

one of them draco recognises easily, because he’s infamous: george weasley, who’s repeating a year to get his grades up and yet still doesn’t seem to be working hard, instead stapling up the little ones’ paintings and sitting away in the unused classroom with a singer sewing machine, working on a dress that’s a terrifyingly bright collage of colours and textures 

and, much to draco’s disdain, he’s asked to go and use said classroom to work on his sculpture project

george is there, coloured pencils scattered across the desk as he sits sketching, tongue poking out in fierce concentration; he sits back as draco comes in and bids a quiet greeting as he rifles in his bag

and produces a handful of nail polish?

“what’s that for?” draco frowns

“oh, it makes cool textures and colours,” george says cheerily. “they make cool ones like this that are glittery, or ones that are just clear polish with stuff in it...” 

“god, that fucking reeks,” draco groans as george starts to paint with them, and george just laughs

“didn’t think art was much your subject, malfoy”

“it bloody well isn’t; i’m probably going to drop it after the summer,” he grumbles, folding his arms. “i’m fucking awful; how do you people even draw so well?”

“practice, mostly,” george replies. “and don’t quit, you’ve got to keep going”

“that’s easy for you to say, when you can draw”

george rolls his eyes: “look, draco, if you want, come over and see me in the summer holidays and i’ll show you everything i’ve learned, alright? that way, you’re not disadvantaged and you know what everyone else does, and you’ve had some practise”

draco clicks his tongue

he’ll be fucked if he goes over to bloody weasley’s

“come over to my house, instead,” he insists, and george shrugs

“sure. i’ll bring my stuff.”

and, much to draco’s surprise, when summer rolls around, george does come over when invited with bags full of art supplies and a wide grin on his face; draco resists the urge to roll his eyes and lets him in

“hey, are you watching zombieland?”

draco blanches - he’s been maintaining the facade that he watches high-class art films for years, and here george weasley has ruined it by finding out draco really loves zombie films. “it’s a good film”

“it is,” george replies, pulling out a huge sketchbook and spreading it out on the floor. “okay, kid, listen up. first lesson: proportions. take notes”

and, as it so happens, george knows his shit and teaches it well; he understands that draco is new to this art world, and when he name-drops an artist, he pauses to look them up and show draco their works and he always encourages draco to produce drawings based on what he’s learned, and never seems to be disappointed even when draco’s sure they’re shit

and after the first few lessons, which drag on for whole days at a time, he starts bringing in sweets, too, and they sit on the floor or at draco’s desk with a bag of drumsticks and parma violets and pencils and pens and paintbrushes scattered everywhere

the best part is when draco gets to paint for the first time, and george comes armed with two paint-splattered t-shirts

“okay, wear this one, i’m pretty sure all your clothes are too expensive to ruin,” he says, shoving it over to draco, who blushes fiercely: it’s far too big for his slight frame, and it’s one of george’s weird charity shop t-shirts advertising some art gallery in arkansas, and it smells so strongly of george the smell never seems to leave his nose

and usually, people just smell gross

but george smells kind of nice, almost reassuring

“painting time!” george whoops, and god, does he make a mess when he’s painting: his arms, face, and shirt are all covered by the time he’s done, while draco remains entirely pristine 

“you’re meant to paint the canvas, not yourself,” he says dryly 

“i can paint whatever,” george shrugs

“fine, but let’s go get that washed off before you go, your mother’ll have me hanged,” he grumbles, guiding george up to the bathroom, which is beautifully white and the complete opposite of fresco george 

draco wets a face cloth and has a good scrub at george’s arms, only realising when he comes to carefully wipe the smudges on his cheeks how close they are, and how close george is, and that he can feel george’s breath on his face and feel the rise and fall of george’s chest so near to his

he’s not supposed to feel like this

but he does

“there we go,” he says, putting the cloth on the side of the sink. “sort of clean”

the next time george is over, when they’re working on canvas paintings that are definitely going to take more than one lesson, draco decides to order pizza, because - despite himself - he doesn’t really want to see george go

“you know, draco,” george says with a mouthful of pizza, “you’re not so bad”

“thank you for the glowing review, weasley,” draco grumbles, “but honestly, i feel the same; you’re a lot less obnoxious than i took you for”

“you’re a sweetheart,” george laughs

and draco is kind of very smitten, and he leans across, and, without really being aware what he’s doing, presses a kiss to the side of george’s mouth; and george puts a hand at the back of his neck and shifts to kiss him back and better

and the way he smiles afterwards is so sweet

“bribing me with pizza, huh?”

“well, it worked”

“pizza and painting. this is the life”

george has to leave, eventually, before his mother freaks out that he’s died and is sending texts to assure her he’s fine as a ghost, and as he stands in the doorway, he grins

“this time tomorrow?” he asks

“with pizza,” draco confirms

[sarahburness]

Create More, Consume Less: A Surefire Way to Feel More Excited About Life

“Creating means living.” ~Dejan Stojanovic

We live in a consumer culture. We love to eat, drink, and be merry—while binge watching whatever’s trending on Netflix and getting a dopamine hit for every item added to our cart on Amazon Prime.

We love to take it all in—information, entertainment, status updates, news reports, substances, and an endless array of stuff. There’s never a shortage of things we can consume, often to keep our minds distracted and our feelings silenced.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love a good meal, a Jim Beam or two, and an afternoon spent zoned out on my couch, Penn Badgley haunting me hour by hour as his stalking escalates from creepy to criminal.

And I’m all for staying educated and updated, on issues both important and inane. I’ve spent hours obsessively researching all things health-related, and I’m embarrassed to admit that my search history reveals more than a healthy number of celebrity websites, if such a number exists.

I also understand the instinct to shut down for a while. Our minds can get intolerably loud, and sometimes, external demands can be overwhelming. A little disengagement can be a good thing in a world that often requires us to be on.

But there needs to be some kind of balance. If we spend our whole lives ingesting information and scarfing down an assortment of stuff meant to soothe us, we’ll never have the time or space to connect with ourselves and create the things we want to create.

I’m not talking just about artistic expression, though I personally feel more alive when I’m bringing some type of creative vision to life. I’m talking about filling the void inside with our own curiosity, passion, and awe instead of constantly stuffing it with external pleasures.

It may not seem like it in the moment when our shows, social media, or shopping carts beckon, but often the greatest pleasure stems from actively working toward a life that excites us.

What are some things we can create?

1. A mission statement

Many of us go through our days without a sense of purpose. We have no idea what we value or what we stand for. We have no idea what we’re really doing with our lives, or why.

Nothing feels exciting when nothing is fueled by passion or intention.

In order to feel alive, we need to be connected to what matters to us most individually. I’m not talking about a specific career direction, though that could be a part of it. I’m talking about creating a blueprint for how you want to show up in the world so you can be the person you want to be and make decisions that feel right for you.

For example, my current mission statement is:

To live with wonder, courage, compassion, and integrity, prioritizing family, freedom, adventure, and creative expression.

Knowing what I value, I’m better able to decide which opportunities to pursue and accept and which ones to politely decline.

This doesn’t have to be set in stone. Mission statements change over time as we grow and evolve. So write, revisit, and revise, as often you deem necessary.

2. Art

This is the low-hanging fruit for this list. Yes, art is something you can create! Big shocker! But it clearly has a place here nonetheless.

Especially if you’re tempted to consume to avoid your feelings, why not channel them into a creative project instead? Creativity is not only calming and healing, it’s a journey back to the simplistic joy of childhood—when you had countless Lego castles, doodle-filled pages, and chalk street art masterpieces to show for your time. And the possibilities are endless.

You could color, sketch, paint, sculpt, sew, crochet, knit, make jewelry, build something, or write a poem, short story, or song. You could art journal, scrapbook, create a magazine collage, try origami, or make something with unconventional materials (duct tape, wine corks, doll parts from your childhood).

If you tune into your feelings and curiosity, you’ll find endless inspiration, and if you look around, you’ll find endless materials to use and recycle.

It’s worth noting that quite frequently, consumption fuels creation. I can’t tell you how many scripts I read and films I watched when preparing to write my first screenplay. Every movie helped me learn and sparked ideas for my own story and its execution.

Though it’s also wonderful to enjoy art for the sake of it, there’s something thrilling about consuming with a purpose. Not just to be entertained but also to be inspired—so you can create something personally meaningful to you that will hopefully move and inspire other people to live and a love a little louder.

Little feels more exciting than chiseling a piece of your heart into something beautiful that will endure, while simultaneously motivating other people wake up and live more fully.

3. A medium for self-expression

We live in an exciting time for self-expression. No longer do gatekeepers get to decide whose words deserve a platform. Anyone can start a blog, vlog, or podcast to share their thoughts and views with the world.

The beautiful thing is, it’s not too hard to get started. You don’t need a fancy site or special equipment to get going—though those things are nice to have, and they’re things you could always acquire in time, if you like the medium you choose and decide to see how far you can take it.

With a little googling you can easily find a way to get set up today, for free, so you can move out from the shadows and share what’s in your heart and on your mind.

Not only will you give yourself an opportunity to express your feelings and feel truly seen, you’ll likely also help other people through your honesty and vulnerability. Yes, you.

If you think your voice doesn’t matter, consider this: a blog can reach only one person, and yet be the one thing that saved or changed that person’s life. You never know who you’ll help or inspire by finding the courage to speak up.

4. Memories

At the end of it all, when we look back on our lives, we won’t take a mental inventory of the dollars we earned, followers we gained, or items we checked off our to-do list. What we’ll see is a mélange of moments—times when we loved, connected, got outside our comfort zone, and engaged with world with wonder and enthusiasm.

These moments generally don’t just fall into our laps. We have to actively create them. And sometimes that means stepping outside the realm of our routine and actually doing the type of things we daydream about.

There’s a scene in the movie Stepmom (spoiler alert!) where Susan Sarandon’s character, Jackie, knows her cancer is getting worse and her time with her family is limited. So she does something out of character and beautifully touching: She wakes her daughter Anna in the middle of the night and takes her horseback riding, in the snow.

Anna says she’ll never forget this moment, and how could she? She’s nestled close to her dying mother, on a horse, in nature—when the night’s at its most peaceful and she’s usually asleep and unable to see it. Together they feel completely present and alive in this magical moment of connection and awe.

We can all create these kinds of moments. We can create magic for ourselves, someone else, or both, if we’re willing to prioritize it and put in the effort.

5. Possibilities

I suspect a lot of us feel pretty discontent with our lives. Perhaps Thoreau conveyed it best when he wrote “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Most of merely survive and think of thriving as a luxury unavailable to the majority. I’m not going to lie; it’s easier for some to thrive than others. Some of us are born into more ideal circumstances, and some get more advantages.

But perhaps the problem isn’t just that not everyone gets the same chances, but also that not everyone takes the same chances.

If we settle into a pit of discontentment and do the same things every day, nothing will ever change.

The only way to make our lives any better is find and seize opportunities instead of waiting for them to come to us.

Make the call. Send the email. Sign up for the course. If you can’t afford it, research scholarships or free or cheap alternatives. Do something to create a new possibility for your life, whether it pertains to your work, your hobbies, or your relationships.

Then the next purchase you make might be something you need for this exciting new path, not something you want because you’re miserably unhappy with the status quo of your unfulfilling life.

6. New connections

We live in an increasingly disconnected world. We spend more time holding devices than hands and look into more screens than eyes, as the Dulce Ruby quote suggests. This is such a lonely way to live. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Not if we prioritize forming and maintaining relationships.

Of course this isn’t easy. It can be challenging to pull ourselves away from our usual indulgences, get outside our little bubble of comfort, and get present in the world beyond our own door. But it’s oh so worth it.

One day last year I was a feeling a little down about my limited social circle where I live near LA. I’ve moved a lot, I travel a lot, and I work from home; and I haven’t done a great job prioritizing relationships where I live.

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed on this afternoon, trying to distract myself from the sadness in my heart, when I decided to do something different: I navigated to a group for Highly Sensitive People, that contributor Bryn Bamber had actually recommended in a post about sensitivity, and I introduced myself, asking if there was anyone near LA.

Several people responded, including one who’s become a great friend—someone I can relate to on a deep personal level. Someone who gets me, who I get back. And not only did I make a new soul connection, I also opened myself up to new possibilities: because of her, I began volunteering at a nearby community theater, where I hope to volunteer again in the future.

It can feel awkward to initiate conversation with someone new. Or at least it feels that way for me. But as Frank told Don in The Green Book, “The world is full of lonely people afraid to make the first movie.” Make the first move. You just might change two lives.

—

In the words of Ferris Bueller, life goes by pretty quickly. Friendships evolve or fade, jobs run their course, kids grow up—and before you know it, we’re looking back at our years, either feeling proud of everything we created or wondering how and why we squandered our time.

I don’t know about you, but I want to prioritize the things that truly matter to me and fill my hours with purposeful actions that fill my heart with peace, passion, and excitement.

I want to make beautiful things, share empowering ideas, and collect more moments of awe than there are grains of sand on the beach.

I also want balance.

I want abundant movie marathons, occasional retail therapy sessions, and Sunday morning mimosas.

I want trashy magazines in the tub, an endless rotation of used true crime books, and a full Netflix queue that seems to scream, “I know what you like, Lori, I get you.”

But I want to consume those things intentionally. Not to avoid or escape anything, but just because they’re fun.

I think that’s a reasonable goal for all of us. To be a little more intentional, a lot more engaged, and in the end, far more excited about the lives we’re living.

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She’s also the author of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and other books and co-founder of Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and redefine yourself. An avid film lover, she recently finished writing her first feature screenplay and would appreciate advice from anyone in the industry to help get this made. You can reach her at email (at) tinybuddha.com.

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