#I have to study physics help

[turtletoria]

i wanted to try drawing older Mabel and Dipper !

[starssoblue]

"the reason adrien is just instantly good at everything he tries is because he is programmed to be that way as a senti" aside from the fact that i don't think that's how it works (and also while he was decent at everything he tried with marinette he wasn't instantly good at all of them, and what marinette actually said to him was that he could improve in anything with practice but it was a great first attempt) did we all collectively forget about how adrien actually canonically isn't the best singer?

[crow-caller]

Learning about POTS, especially @mamoru's blogging about it and the dysautonomia health conference, has made me suspect... it's the sneaky bastard behind my chronic illness. Or, the start point!

POTS can just kinda happen to you. It did to me, though it was diagnosed a while after more notable things happened to my body. But. Around when my chronic illness kicked off, early 2020, a few other things happened which seemed unrelated:

-a random full body allergic rash, which turned into just a dry rash on my right hand and now reoccurs each spring — a sudden new hay fever allergy (I'd never had any allergies before)

-dizziness and blacking out when standing too quick or moving (classic POTS symptom)

-pins and needles when my feet fell asleep went from numb & annoying to Absolute AGONY, the worst pain, prone to happening extremely quickly amd kicking in after I take a few steps

-Lactose intolerance after being a lifelong dairyhead

-my horrible horrible chronic health issues began

....knowing POTS is linked to immune system things makes me consider: i might have developed it, and it may have caused these new allergies and even my chronic illness. I thought of it as just a weird other thing i noticed i might have a year or two post my other health changes.

[ominousvibez]

i know a lot of people tend to define dani/ellie's "obsession" as the ocean to go with danny's space obsession but tbh i feel like as dani gets older she's going to do a lot to separate herself from her identity as danny's "clone" and become her own person

like, that's why i love that the fandom has adopted the "ellie" nickname so much for her. i so wish the show went on for longer with more competent writers or the comic could expand on this maybe but i think finding her own identity and voice would be such a powerful narrative. you're made for one thing but you don't wanna do that, so now what do you do?

(tbh that kind of identity exploration is probably too anit-christian for b*tch h*rtman so i'm glad he didn't get to touch it)

it's canon that dani goes off and travels the world, so why not have her obsession be traveling? she's got a huge case of wanderlust. she likes the outdoors, she likes hiking and camping and is a huge granola girl. like, i think that kinda just fits her a bit more, in my opinion. traveling/exploration.

[studiousandrogynousfox-blog]

the post deadline depression

it’s now been a little over a week since i had my last exam.  i’ve done the admin side off things to get my degree and i’ve been officially exmatriculated and am no longer a student, but a holder of a physics master’s degree. it still feels entirely surreal!!!

this past week i’ve mainly been focusing on recovering. this degree (including the bachelor’s) has taken me over eight years to finish and it’s been incredibly hard at times. as this blog shows i’ve considered quitting so many times. and i’ve failed exams. and given up on courses half way through them. always coming closer to the maximum allowed time for degree completion. to the point that this past semester was my last official semester. so i’ve i hadn’t passed the exams i would have had to apply for an extension, which you’re not guaranteed to receive! so the pressure for this last semester was incredibly high. so i guess it’s now wonder that i’ve been hit hard with the post deadline depression.

what has helped and also brought me comfort is the fact that it is quite normal to experience a crash or a low after finishing a big project. and i guess it makes sense, all the stress and adrenaline that the body has gotten used to suddenly disappear. so i’ve been mainly focusing on sleeping enough and eating properly and getting in some kind of movement (very low intensity stuff like going on a twenty minute walk). i think i’m through the worst of it now because i’m feeling my curiosity and energy return :) but i’m also really glad that i’d decided to take a break from all social media for the week, because that could have easily ended in full on internet addiction ^^'

thank you all for coming along on this journey with me. i’ll keep this blog active as i transition into the post grad life (i have only a dim idea at the moment of what that will look like haha) <3

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Interesting. Don’t necessarily think I’m autistic but I have more going on than just ADHD and I’m not sure what that is.

[crossbackpoke-check]

the deweys photos are from this video: https://youtu.be/5xTwJho44ao?si=bPw8MZZ327lCogVZ aren’t they just everything

kissing you and the minnesota wild official media team (with consent) full on the mouth, THANK YOU THIS VIDEO IS EVERYTHING 🥰🥰 i have seen pieces of it before i think (connor petting a shark 🥹) but the entire video start to finish is such a delight, 10/10 would recommend

[dideki]

university.. university leave me alone

[emotionally-charged-arson]

Transitus Comic Studies

These were meant to be colored but alas. Faulty art supplies. Still like these sketches though! They’re lifted from the OG comic book. The idea was to only use direct poses and scenes from the source material and try to infuse some more productive character design into them.

Focus on status of a given character (and changes in it) and some stronger air of historical reference, kept as far away from my own personal head canons of the characters and their backstories as possible.

Really had fun with these. Great figure practice ✏️

[a-shadowedvales]

so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

[loumauve]

in other news: doctors (of the psychiatric variety) and therapists love me. got invited to participate in yet another study lol

[thehalfling]

ooh college! what are you studying? :0

This time, I'm attempting to go for a bachelor's degree in Biological Sciences. I've already begun studying Fundamentals of Biochemistry, and have yet to start looking into the other first semester subjects: Anatomy of Organ Systems; Cell Biology and Genetics; Ecology, Handling and Conservation of Wildlife.

[thewingedwolf]

i actually really have been keeping up with pt, i did it so seriously for two years that i hit the max amount you’re allowed to go with my insurance both years and it has taught me a lot about Whatever Is Wrong With Me, and physical therapy in general, and also like, health insurance and the limits of our medical system lmao but the main thing it taught me is unfortunately your physical therapist was right and…you have to do the exercises to feel better. i know, tragic 😔

[entropys]

going crazy i don’t think i’ll do well tomorrow T–T

[iwakuraz]

doing scrapbook stuff again properly for the first time in a few months! happy :3

[destroyerofwashingmachines]

These exams are gonna be the things which sucks out my last bit of creativity and will to live