#I mean... whatever... I dont even know how i managed to write so much with so little and so badly written

[natsswife]

I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend if you dont mind<3

pairings: nat x fem!reader

summary: nat is head over heels and kinda obsessed w you but thinks you have a boyfriend:(( (u dont)

cw: nat hatesss your “boyfriend”, brief mention of alcohol and cigs, “cheating” on ur bf from nats pov

notes: just something silly a wrote in one sit while listening to after midnight by chappell<3 *starts blasting it*

men&cishet ppl dni ty

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆˚

༘⋆ obsessed!Nat who loves to sit next to you during classes everytime she has the opportunity and that ugly rat- i mean boyfriend of yours isnt near bothering and taking all of your attention, because these little moments are one her biggest opportunities to talk to you, gossip about anything and try to see if there's at least a small chance that you like girls???

༘⋆ obsessed!Nat whose favorite time of the week is when the team have soccer match because that means she can shower u with lots of compliments without sounding weird (so in love with you) cuz for her you're one of the best players in the team, and also take it as an opportunity to ask you for advices and why not? train together everyday after classes so nat can improve her game (pass more time with you) <33

༘⋆ obsessed!Nat who sometimes finds her obsession with you weird because how comes the most “i dont give a fuck abt anything” girl is now giving too much fuck about someone and is now tracking down that ugly boyfriend of yours to see if hes cheating or something so she can tell you and enjoy how you break w him on front of everyone, cuz that means she will a chance with you.

༘⋆ anddd obsessed!Nat who got bored of tracking him down because she now discovered a whole new level of nerd thanks to your ”boyfriend” she almost finished her packs of cigs and he was still stuck at the library reading and reading some boring shit and not talking to anyone, not even some girl that help her caught him red handed or something, but the real question is how can *you* the coolest girl ever, be with such a loser?? how did you never got bored of just hearing him yap about some nothingburger comic?? maybe that's why she never saw you kissing or closer with him, and thanks to that Nat now knows that you need some real fun and she’ll make sure she is the one making you have it, because Nat needs to steal you from that man who’s making u lose your time and be with someone who really loves you and that's her!!!!

༘⋆ so its all set up, during that party some random is gonna throw in a few days Nat's gonna confess her feelings, and she's confident, not because shes kinda obsessed with you and tired of waiting (she is) but also bc it never went unnoticed to her how sometimes you looked at her while she was writing something during class, it always made her sweat and fuck up whatever she was writing, but she never moved because you looking at her made her feel that god heard her non existent prayers and made her feel like she might have a chance? whatever mixed signals you were giving her had nat jumping full of joy mentally

༘⋆ and when the day comes, everyone’s wasted and as soon she spot you with Tai and Van, Nat takes her last shot of whatever deadly combination of drinks kevyn made for her bc for sure she will need some alcoholic encourage to express her love and how she capable of kissing the floor you walk.

༘⋆ she just takes you to a more "safe of men and that ugly rat you have as a bf" space and lets everything out in a kinda “im sorry doll dont hate me but you look way too gay to be with a man, especially that ONE” way while looking at your bf who is talking with jeff and his group (how did he managed to not get bullied by them? she doesnt know and doesnt care lowk)

༘⋆ Nat’s heart did a 180 backflip inside her chest when she saw your beautiful smile just got wider after her confession and a “oh my.. nat are you serious” from you made her sweat like she has been in a marathon, were you expecting this orr…

 “yeah why would a lie” she let a nervous giggle out and with that something she never expected happened

༘⋆ you just threw yourself into her arms?? and started kissing her??? It was a short, nervous but sweet kiss, both of you nervous as hell but Nat is now confused because why are you cheating on your rat in front of everyone??

༘⋆ but anygays would he mind if she kinda wanna kiss his girlfriend? again after she made the first move?

“NONONO HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND DUMBASS” you let that out almost yelling, do you really look that straight??

༘⋆ u couldnt even hide your excitement because you’ve been waiting for her to make the first move, since you were such a pussy to do that, especially in the toxic world you're all living but now who give a single fuck, the beautiful girl you have been crushing for ages, the one who isnt afraid of showing who she is, dont give a fuck about anything (she now do and thanks to you) is now confessing how much she loves you, and ofc you wont miss the opportunity to kiss her again and again and again, after all everyone is wasted right now.

༘⋆ Nat couldnt believe when you told her that he’s just your childhood friend who got recently transferred and thats why you were close, helping him adapt to the highschool and everything, nat now knows she kinda fucked up by calling him names, tracking him down and deliberately hating him but thats on another topic.

༘⋆ but what she REALLY can't believe is when you confessed that you liked her as well!!! 

“I dont know if it's maybe the moonlight who have horny powers, this moment or whatever but… wanna go to my house?” Nat just kissed you as an answer, she’s not gonna waste the opportunity to have you all for herself this night and is gonna make sure you wake up in her arms everyday by now<3

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆˚

Do not translate w/o permission, copy or use for AI training, train ur useless brain instead<3

[lairofsentinel]

Info compilation of Lucanis Dellamorte (part 1)

Warning: I’m using the incorrect lore that this game has since it is the one that they built the game upon. Inconsistent things such as “The Lighthouse is in the Fade” or “Mind imprisonment” nonsense are not dismissed during this compilation even though they are strongly questionable.

Unfortunately, Lucanis character has a lot of issues in his writing; sometimes conversations feel like they were written by three different persons and the game ends up with a frankenstein dialogue which can be barely followed, and one needs to fill in the gaps to keep it somehow cohesive and coherent. Besides, there are several times where he suffers narrative inconsistency: he says something that gets contradicted mid-game without being part of his “development”, if he has any.

Also, I apologise in advance for my bitterness that sometimes spills into the text like the Blight when it comes to the murder of the Lore that Veilguard has done to the DA world.

The current post has the following sections [bold ones]:

Approvals and disapprovals

Body Language

Eyes

Why the pantry?

High focus, cool head, and professionalism

Food and cooking

Mage-killer specialisation and previous jobs

Death and Life

Crows and Family

Spite and Possession

Sleep and Coffee

Flirt and Romance

Lucanis’ Logbook

Others

Info compilation: Part 1 || Part 2

[this post will be likely updated briefly after I do a playthrough without saving Treviso in case additional information is shown, but probably won't be much]

Approvals and disapprovals

He mostly approves the “determined” and “focused” options [punch/armoured icon] which align with his personality: no giving up, focus on the goal ahead, and enduring the rough consequences. He tends to favour a resolute, blunt approach to problems instead of a diplomatic one. He also approves hard criticism with cold facts, instead of “therapist talks”. However, when it comes to family and loss, a sympathetic approach is approved, showing he is not 100% cold and facts. There is room for kindness, especially among the people he considers “family”. 

In some of the approval situations, we find that approaching Lucanis with the stern/aggressive option to his failure in killing Ghilan'nain earns us approval, showing us, potentially, a glance into the treatment Lucanis endured under Caterina.

He disapproves in few instances [like all companions in this game], one of them includes humiliation in front of the Crows [Biding Farewell] that can be understood as a break in the trust he put on Rook to ask them to come with him in order to keep Spite in check in case he gets out of control. Taking a diplomatic approach when the situation requires immediate action is also another way to earn his disapproval [Option of convincing the First Warden]. 

Body Language

His body language is always tense and awkward. When he starts to talk to Rook, there is a soft swing of his shoulders, as if he were not sure what to do with his arms or hands, then he stays standing in a very rigid way, hands most of the time closed in fists. 

When he is outside the pantry, we can see he remains in this tense position and only sometimes we caught him rotating his shoulders and head, showing how much tension he is always carrying [this also can be reinforced, despite being a joke, with the dialogue that Lucanis and Davrin share about his sudden possession being a tension in his shoulders].

Another position in which we often find him is with his arms crossed when drinking coffee, which tends to be understood in body-language design as a self-defence/protective position/wary position. Again, a position that shows his constant alert state. 

The only position we see him do with some confidence without much tension leaking into it is the one leaning against the wall, usually done when he is thinking about something. However, even in that position, we see he is trying to release tension from his neck. 

In summary, his body language is a reflection of what we learnt in the story The Wigmaker job: Caterina’s training was focused on punishing him with her cane every time he let his guard down [or made a mistake in his footwork]. Now he has been conditioned to the point of being unable to relax.

Eyes

Most of the time, he speaks with a soft frown, and intense eyes locked into the interlocutor. When he is not in a conversation, his eyes tend to be deadpan, emotionless, and there is an intention in their design to try to convey discomfort due to their intensity. This is an attempt to recreate his gaze as described in Tevinter Nights: “As they [Illario and Lucanis] walked through the crowd, he [Illario] basked in the appreciative glances he received, while Lucanis stared ahead, focused and intense. He was the kind of man you couldn’t look away from—until he looked at you.” 

When talking about work and plans, his eyes get locked in this intense, menacing look. Only when the conversation shifts to personal matters, to things that may hint some level of vulnerability [family or loss] or shame [possession], he lowers his sight or looks aside from time to time. 

This pattern is broken once there is some comfort with the person he speaks to and his eyes stay fixed on the interlocutor, or let him see them with his most soft, relaxed looks [Harding’s coffee scene, and Rook’s scenes].

Why the pantry?

He is evasive when explaining why he picked the pantry as his room. Rook-Lucanis banter makes it imply that it is a good place to choke everyone who wants to attack him. Taash-Lucanis banter suggests that Taash perceived the real reason: he “hides” in the pantry to avoid the excess of “Fade” from the rest of the Lighthouse. In Harding’s banter he says “it���s easy to trap Spite, and there are snacks. And no view of the Fade.” So this seems to confirm Taash’s suspicion. We get the idea that the common, main reason why he prefers this place is because it “keeps the Fade away” a bit, and probably makes the symptoms in his eyes less prominent. If we find him outside, close to the stairs, he will claim that the back of his eyes are itchy. 

Another interpretation is related to his imprisoned mind [Inner Demon]. Another potential way to understand his insistence in remaining in the pantry belongs to the coping mechanism he chose to use to process his traumatic experience of capture and possession: he remains in a cell-like environment because it brings him the comfort that he would be more contained and would not hurt unnecessarily the people he cares about [Rook, the team]. However, his situation in the pantry does not change once Rook helps him in processing this trauma, so I’m inclined to think it’s more a Fade-related cause than a coping mechanism of his recovery from the horrors of the Ossuary.

It’s also important to highlight that in his Logbooks we learn he has some mixed feelings with the sense of time that the Lighthouse gives, and seems to compare it with the timeless sense of the Ossuary. It’s clear that not having a cycle of day-night in this place makes him as uncomfortable as he was in his prison, and that may be another reason why he is in the pantry, which has no windows [so he can’t see that the day-night cycle doesn’t exist].

High focus, cool head, and professionalism

Lucanis is presented as a character who over-analyzes situations to have the perfect outcome. This is part of his professionalism. It is also what helps him focus even when he is dealing with personal issues as his new condition as an abomination. His personality seems to be more than adequate for feeding a Determination spirit, which twisted becomes into Spite. Spite mostly in the sense of “doing things/keep on doing things out of spite”. His whole arc is based on this concept of Spite: resisting, enduring, and keep working despite all the obstacles, in a “harmful” way [which is granted automatically by his profession as an assassin].

He endured Caterina’s training, and the Ossuary, because he wanted to live. There is a stubbornness in him for living, no matter the cost, and hence why he struck a deal with Spite in the Ossuary so he could not be used by him as a cocoon. 

In terms of lore, if we assume this game kept any [very bold of me to think so], it would imply that Spite is comfortable in this host because Lucanis keeps feeding him the emotion that is his nature. And not only that: Lucanis’ determination also could potentially feed the “original” emotion that Spite was. It’s hard to know if this was originally a hint for a future transformation of the demon back to his spirit form [as we saw with Cole in Asunder, or with Solas’ friend in his personal quest in DAI]. So, determination and high focus with a high threshold to endure adversity are traits quite clear for his character.

His cool head is also shown when he discovers that Caterina was killed. His first reaction is “I need to work, I need a target”. This shows not only his high-focus personality, but also the state in which he has been during all that year in the Ossuary: he survived because he shut down his mind and emotions, and focused on a goal: escape” [Davrin-Lucanis banter]. Now he is doing the same, but with work, so he can avenge Caterina’s death.

He doesn’t dwell on his mistakes, but analyses them [Harding-Lucanis banter]. The high focus and cool-head trait is also present in the way he approves several options related to not wasting time on trivial things and focus on the target ahead. Questioning flawed logical sentences also earn his approval [Coffee with the Crows], reinforcing his taste for analysis and logical thinking. He does not accept being called paranoid for being logical. [Coffee with the Crows].  

Another instance where we see his exhaustive focus is during Caterina’s funeral [Bidding Farewell] where Lucanis asks Illario in an intense way more than 10 questions, extremely focused on how Caterina was killed. This shows some level of emotion in him, but also this control-obsession personality of his: he is already working to find the target, to avenge Caterina. As his logic continues he claims that since the First Talon was the sharpest of all the Crows, it was impossible to catch her unaware, the reason why her death makes even less sense [Bidding Farewell]. This attitude also reinforces the idea said above about how relentless he becomes when he has a target and a clear goal [he goes on out of spite]. I think part of the writing in this aspect, so “obsessive” may have been reused from his original design: he was meant to struggle with a spirit of Passion turned into a demon of Obsession, but it did not make it into the game [Game file description of Spite]. This is also, potentially, one of the sources of so many narrative inconsistencies, I assume.

Professionalism is a constant in his character and may have been the main wall to break in order to approach him had he been written as a real Bioware character. It’s not only the cool-headed and high-focus personality, it’s also his insistence in seeing things devoid of emotions as much as possible, translating all into contracts, finances, or fair exchanges. Things must be done with logic in it and a lot of professionalism. He claims that he owes Rook for rescuing him, so the reasons to accept this contract with Rook is not just the last contract ever given by Caterina to him [sentimental reason], it’s also a personal debt he feels he has to pay out of professionalism [logical reason, it’s a mere exchange: he has to do his expertise of killing mages to justify the ordeal of having been rescued]. 

He encourages to delegate tasks that are not of his expertise to other professionals. This may be a reason why he has a contract negotiator who keeps track of the ratings of his work and other aspects [Bellara and Neve banter]. He always agrees and approves of Rook letting experts do their job [perfectly following Taash’s explanations in how to hunt dragons], showing how much he values professionalism and specialised expertise not only for himself. 

We see more of this aspect of self-control in Bloodbath, where he faces Zara. Spite is taking control of his body as he wants revenge, but Lucanis stops the process when Zara offers to give the name of the traitor Crow. The control lasts until Illario appears and kills his target, making Spite impossible to control. However, even in that state of rage, an aspect of Lucanis can surface to ask Rook for help and prevent him from killing Illario. That is a testament of his strong will, his focus, and his sentimentalism as well: he fears deeply to release a demon that can kill the people he cares about.

Food and cooking

He [and Bellara] are the main cooks of the group. They dismiss Harding’s [lack of] cooking skills. [Lucanis-Bellara banter]

Lucanis loved Cioccolata calda as a child, and “grilled treviso with citrus bagna cauda” as he was growing up. [Personal quest and Lucanis-Bellara banter]

He learnt to cook when he was a boy, helping the kitchen staff of the Villa. It kept him entertained between Caterina’s training, but his main goal was to learn how to make churros [Emmrich-Lucanis banter].

His care for the people he loves is partially shown through his food and in how thoughtful he is with what everyone eats/drinks. [Whole game]

Lucanis has a strong rejection of tea [Coffee with the Crows quest] and claims that he doesn’t require the comfort that tea offers. He requires the “jolt of wakefulness from a brew as bitter as a year in bondage beneath the waves” [Harding-Lucanis banter, before Inner Demon]

Food is one of his care languages, as well as his apologising one. The more he cares for someone, the more he focuses on their preferences and tastes.  He also keeps track of every detail of the group: in his quest to do shopping, he picks a potted plant that prevents bad dreams for Harding, seafood special for Bellara who wants to try Dalish dishes, a bone for Assan to chew on, fine glassware for Emmrich, and fresh fruit for Neve. He only does not give anything special to Davrin nor Rook [lol, narrative inconsistencies]

Mage-killer specialisation and previous jobs

He was called Demon of Vyrantium before the possession. This reputation made him famous among the Shadow Dragons due to his expertise in killing Venatori. His services as Demon of Vyrantium are very expensive [Neve-Lucanis Banter]. He suspects that it was Viago who started the title in the Tevinter news sheets and it simply stuck [Emmerich-Lucanis banter with Crow Rook].

He has a high focus on being professional. He wants to get the job done, clean, and complete without caring about the “manners” [Davrin-Lucanis banter]. He claims that Caterina taught him to work in this way, since he makes a difference between completing a job and doing a job well, something that Illario never understood. This is reinforced in some codices when Lucanis killings have a clear professional touch, while Illario’s are a bit more “extra” or “show-off” [Imperium Secret: A Fortunate Heir ].

He ended up specialising in killing mages due to Caterina’s decision of targeting new markets. In the South, mages have no power, so there are no contracts for them, but in the North, they have status and therefore, enemies. He claims that the mages in Nevarra are especially dangerous because “Fireballs are not a threat like coin in political pull” [Emmrich-Lucanis banter]

He repeats that there is a difference between murder and assassination. Murderers, in his perspective, are hobbyists and they are not paid. 

There is no secret technique to kill mages: “be fast, strike hard, and stay out of sight”, and if it doesn’t work, “piss them off” so the demon will eat them [Harding-Lucanis banter]. Lucanis claims that his technique to go after most targets, specially mages, is similar to Taash’s technique of hunting dragons: create a distraction, hinder their escape, hurt them to break their concentration, and finish them off. He adds that it’s like a dance, or a seduction [although he is not sure about the latter] [Taash-Lucanis banter]

He can put himself in his target’s shoes more out of practicality [to better track them down] than sympathy. [Emmrich-Lucanis banter] 

Lucanis doesn’t like necromancy, partially because of his experiences with the Venatori, but also because it complicates his work [Emmrich-Lucanis banter]. There were contracts that needed to be rearranged when the target was killed and later reanimated [Neve-Lucanis banter].

He has taken other contracts that do not involve mages. He claims that he never killed an innocent, by his count [Emmrich-Lucanis banter] but he is aware that his count may differ from others’.

Lucanis has a particular vision of his profession that mitigates moral conflict: he claims that “death comes to everyone, in time. He is just paid to deliver it quickly”. [Emmrich-Lucanis banter] This argument was exactly the same one used by Zevran in DAO.

Lucanis is evasive when asked how he decides when a target deserves to die. He claims that the target has to have “merit”, usually decided by the Talon of the house. He thinks that killing meritorious targets is “providing a service”. If the target doesn’t deserve to die, he still insists on seeing his job as a way to speed up the natural process of death [Davrin-Lucanis banter], returning to the previous argument in the item above.

Despite claiming to never fail a contract in many of his scenes, Lucanis narrates two episodes where he decided not to kill the target and, by extension, break the contract [narrative inconsistency]: “Once, a target killed an important politician and went on the run. The family wanted retribution” but he let her live. “She was a servant, and the politician had been beating her. So the servant returned the favour”. The other case was a teenager of 14 y/o who robbed and poisoned a man. Lucanis claims he “doesn’t kill that young since there is still time for them to change”. [Davrin-Lucanis banter]. The first episode brings the Lucanis we saw in The Wigmaker Job to our mind: he supports revenge from victims of any kind of abuse, and maybe this interpretation allows to give room to the concept of Spite and how comfortable he may be in this host that supports this kind of emotion. In the end, these inconsistencies make us feel the character was written by several people and never truly synthesised.

Lucanis knows quite a lot about Grey Wardens because he had contracts with them, specially with Wardens that, fearing the Calling, hired him to kill them. [Davrin-Lucanis banter]

He has a contract negotiator that he keeps offering to Bellara and Neve [Bellara/Neve-Lucanis banter]

Another aspect of his love/care language is by promising to kill all those that endanger the people he cares about without the need of a contract involved since “it is on the house” [several banters].

Death and Life

He sees death as a place of rest and oblivion: “Everything dies. People, cities, empires. Fashions. Your favourite song. Things fade and are forgotten. Why would you want to outlast what you love? It sounds like a terrible fate” [Emmrich-Lucanis banter]. 

He has normalised the concept of death that he is not affected by it, or at least not in the same way that normal people do. After narrating how he lost most of his family during a Crow war for the First Talon title, Bellara apologises for asking about Lucanis’ family. However, Lucanis answers with a cold response: apologies and sympathy are not needed, “if anyone knows that people die, it is an assassin” [Bellara-Lucanis banter].

We can also see that these small pieces of information about death gives us an idea why in his romance [despite being poorly written] he claims that “all what he knows is death”, and there is an implicit meaning in it: he knows that all what he can hold dear will die eventually, and all his life is made of loss and death. His family’s business is Death as well. Hence the fear of losing Rook, because there is a certainty in it. Eventually it will happen. However, this attitude is fought against with his trait of relentlessness, of not giving up: he will spread death to others in order to prevent Rook’s death [I know the scene doesn’t convey this truly, but it is what I think it tried to imply, specially if put in contrast with the others in which Lucanis speaks about killing the enemies of Rook to keep them safe].

Despite being so involved with death, Lucanis still reaches for life: it is his desire for life, for survival, what kept him alive in the Ossuary and willingly to make a deal with Spite. No matter the cost, he wants to live. He appreciates the simple moments which he considers worth fighting for. He believes that “one has to live fully to live truly”, but he acknowledges the irony of that sentence when it comes to his life: always determined by Caterina and the expectations of the Crow. However, after asking him if maybe the Ossuary shifted his perspective to look for change, he claims that what matters the most for him is the people he is with [Coffee with the Crows]. This shows that despite having a desire to “live fully and truly”, Lucanis always chooses to stay with the people he considers “family” because at the end of the day it is what matters for him. Unfortunately, this is what the game tells us. In The Wigmaker Job, I think we can suspect hints of need for change in his character, but these were never developed in the game. 

Crows and Family

Lucanis’ mother died when he was young, during the war of succession among the Crows. All his family died with the exception of Caterina, Illario, and him [Inner Demon quest]. He was raised by Caterina alongside with Illario [Taash-Lucanis banter].All his family memebers were Crow and he claims that “Death is the Dellamorte family business” [Bellara-Lucanis banter]. However, he claims that the responsible ones for his family's death have been “ash and dust” for years, so his family must have been avenged, I assume by Caterina. [Bellara-Lucanis banter]

Caterina had 5 children and 8 grand children [Inner Demons quest], we don't know if Lucanis had siblings among those or all were cousins.

He describes Caterina as intense, hard to live up to her expectations. He knows she is proud of him but also knows she will not show it [Taash-Lucanis banter]. He says it was hard to be close to Caterina, even for him who is her favourite, due to his pleasing-behaviour most likely. Teia confesses that Caterina claimed that Lucanis “could do no wrong” [Bidding Farewell] which Lucanis dismisses, claiming that it’s easy to look good compared to his cousin. 

When Rook gives a wyvern-tooth dagger to Lucanis, he claims that Caterina did not allow him to have one [why? It was a dagger after all, and Caterina was teaching him to be an assassin. More narrative inconsistencies]

Lucanis assures us that his grandmother lived an exciting life: she killed a man with a thimble. [Harding-Lucanis banter]

 He calls Illario his cousin but he sees him more like a brother and his only friend until Rook appears in his life [Personal quest]. He and Illario were taken in when they lost their parents, and were submitted to Caterina’s training, which is described as “torture”, but despite resenting her when Lucanis was younger, he does not do it anymore [Personal quest]. I suspect this is because Caterina gave him the tools to survive the unforgivable, rough life of a Crow. Because her family was weak and not prepared, they were wiped out by the Velardo House. She must have decided to save the little that remained of her family through punishing, tortuous training, teaching Lucanis in particular to never let their guard down. We know via The Wigmaker Job that she hit Lucanis’ back with her cane every time he messed his footwork or let his guard down, keeping in him a conditioned reaction of a tingling sensation on his back and a personality that prevents him from relaxing. The abuse of Caterina was undeniable, but it was a “Crow” care language, twisted as crow life is: they had to become resilient survivors if they did not want to end up dead as well. 

He claims he knew he was going to be a Crow when he was young. And he wanted to be one “most of the time” [Neve-Lucanis banter].

His training as a Crow involves “acrobatic work from the time they are children. It’s brutal and punishing”. [Taash-Lucanis banter]

Lucanis cares about Ilario despite knowing he “is impulsive and has his head in the clouds”. Lucanis had to keep him out of trouble more often than not, but “he always stood by Lucanis through his own”. [Pantry banter].

He narrates briefly 2 anecdotes with Illario: 1) He spent 4 hours in the market with Illario once looking for silk gloves to impress a woman that Illario was interested in [Shopping quest]. 2) In the quest “The price of the past”, there is a blighted wreckage ship in the sea, which triggers a short narration where he claims that, putting aside the blight, such a sight is how he ended up after a sailing day with Illario. 

He confirms that regular Antivan afternoons are about “danger, intrigue and family drama” [Bellara-Lucanis banter]. Talking things in his family is about waiting for a public event, for example, Caterina’s birthday, and making a scandal that ends up with Viago and Teia soothing the situation by force or poison [Harding-Lucanis banter].

When it comes to family, he has a pleasing-focused behaviour [“he wants to make happy everyone around him”], trying to agree with his family members, hence why he follows all the expectations that Caterina put on him, and has low conflict with Illario [until his personal quest goes on], Teia, and Viago. He is a mirror of the pleasing-focused behaviour that Harding has [Harding-Lucanis banter and scene of coffee with Harding]. This is a potential explanation of his low conflict behaviour in the team [but we all agree it’s mostly the general sanitised, bad writing of the game].

Lucanis claims that from the dozen Crow houses, he would only recommend five [Emmrich-Lucanis banter].

Most house leaders are family by blood or adoption. The rest of the houses “recruit” people from armies or trades. And sometimes, promising Crows are poached by other houses. “Stay with a house long enough and you will get the family name”. [Bellara-Lucanis banter] [we all know the lore of the Crows is a lot darker than this, but this is Disney DAV]

He teaches Taash how to “kill with flair”, showing that the line “the Crows send their regards” is intimidating enough to let others think that their target’s death meant nothing. The line has to have manners too so the contrast accentuates the effect. The goal of the clever line is to unnerve the enemy, so they don’t swarm the Crow when they are still vulnerable after the strike. [Taash-Lucanis] 

He asks if Divine Victoria is dangerous, explaining that the Crows have a lot of contracts for her [Harding-Lucanis banter] which shows how he is always low-key gathering information for future jobs.

[deoidesign]

.

[cherryyluvs]

omg hear me out!!! the witch reader and mark and what happens when they casted a truth spell on them ?! like imagine the whole day, it’s just mark rambling about his deepest thoughts, no matter how silly and reader just like “good to know he really loves me” (also loveee your writing during this invincible fic drought)

Ooooh this is such a good request!! I can already imagine Mark just rambling non-stop while Reader is loving every second of it lol💖

You were at your desk, carefully enchanting a small charm meant to improve focus when Mark walked in. Still wearing his Invincible suit, dirt smudged across his cheek.

“What’s that?” he asked. Peering over your shoulder.

“Just a simple focusing spell” you said. “WAIT DONT TOUCH IT”

But of course, Mark’s curiosity was stronger than your warning. Before you could stop him, he reached out, touching the crystal. The glow flared bright, warm, and Mark blinked rapidly.

“Huh” he said. “Weird. I feel like I need to talk.”

You stared at him. “Talk about what?”

“I dunno” Mark shrugged. “Like I noticed how you changed your shampoo and your hair smells amazing. And how cute you look when you’re concentrating.. Oh…oh no, what the–”

You bit your lip, stifling a giggle. “I think you may have triggered a truth spell.”

“A what now?” Mark asked, looking horrified.

“A truth spell,” you repeated, trying not to grin. “It makes you say whatever’s on your mind.”

“Okay,” Mark said carefully. “Okay, that’s… fine. I just won’t talk.” Slapping a hand over his mouth.

That lasted ten seconds before he groaned loudly.

“God, you’re so pretty,” he blurted, hands still over his face. “Like, unfair levels of pretty. It’s distracting sometimes. Like, one time last week I was thinking about your smile during a fight and I nearly got punched in the face. Oh my god, I’m still talking.”

Mark whined, pacing around the room. “I think about kissing you like every five seconds! And you know what’s worse? Sometimes I practice what I’m gonna say to you in the mirror because I don’t wanna sound like a dork. But guess what? I sound like a dork anyway!”

“No wonder you take so long in the bathroom,” you grinned.

“Oh my god,” Mark muttered. “I’m gonna die.”

You tried to reverse the spell, but it lingered far longer than intended. Throughout the day, Mark’s nonstop rambling followed you everywhere. Even when he was flying you home after a mission, he was still at it. “you smell nice, that one time you wore my hoodie, I didn’t wash it for like a week because it smelled like you”

“Mark!”

“I seriously don’t get how you make magic look so easy,” Mark said, voice a little softer this time. “Like, you’re just... amazing. Even when I’m having a bad day, just being around you makes it better. And sometimes I feel like you don’t know how incredible you are. I wanna tell you every single time I see you, but I don’t wanna annoy you. So I just shut up about it but now I can’t shut up about it and… I really love you, okay?”

The words hit you harder than you expected. For once, Mark’s voice was quiet. Sincere. Raw.

“You mean that?” you asked softly.

“I can’t lie right now,” he said with a lopsided smile.

Finally, you managed to break the spell and Mark lets out a loud sigh of relief, immediately covering his face.

“I’m never showing my face again,” he mumbled. You leaned forward. Pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Why? I kinda liked hearing how much you love me.”

“I’m never gonna live this down,” Mark groaned.

“Nope,” you smiled. “Not a chance.”

[everlastingserenitys]

OFF SCRIPT! ☆

summ. after getting constant emails from a company sylus didn't want to work with, he finally gave in, and well...he might've went a little too wild on his first shoot with you.

pairing. sylus x f!reader cw. pornstar!sylus, pornstar!reader, p in v, masturbation, creampie, cumming inside, perv!sylus again yayy, he is practically in heat lol, kinda loving sex if u look closer a/n. sorry I love writing I dont mean to post so much !! anyway cool idea I thought of <3

It was often that Sylus would get requests by other companies to work with him.

Usually, he’d reject most of them and find other people on his own time and people that fit his standards.

But one day Sylus’ manager kept getting a bunch of emails from this company Sylus did not like, offering to do a shoot with him.

After the constant pestering for weeks and weeks, Sylus hesitantly agreed, it was just a little shoot with somebody, couldn’t be that bad right?

Well, both companies agreed on meeting up a week in advance so they could ‘get to know each other’ which was weird, because Sylus never did that before.

But a week passed and Sylus got ready at his studio to meet up with the other company. He sat in his chair, tapping a rhythm against his leg as he patiently waited.

A few minutes passed and the door clicked open, Sylus’ gaze averted from the ground to the figure walking in the room and…

Woah.

That was strange…for Sylus to feel like that with a person he just saw.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

As you were walking in, Sylus’ eyes were everywhere but on yours. His gaze darted from your tight dress, suffocating your beautiful figure, to your breasts, to your hair. Oh how he was already so captivated by you.

Sylus got up from his seat and headed towards you, lifting his hand in front of you. The second your frail fingers slid against his rough ones, Sylus had to hold back a grunt that almost escaped his lips.

Fuck, just what was that reaction? It's not his first time he’s touched a woman anyway?

Your voice echoed through the empty studio as you introduced yourself to Sylus and his manager, did he even catch your name? Whatever it was, he wanted to get on with the shoot soon.

A quiet sigh escaped Sylus’ lips when he remembered he still had one more person before his shoot with you, but all he had to do was finish quickly when he was with the woman before you, then finally have his shoot with you, couldn’t be bad right?

After the brief introduction and a few ground rules that Sylus didn’t listen to–it was now finally time for you to leave. Sylus wished you stayed just a little bit longer, but he knew he couldn’t ask you that. So the second you left his studio an annoyed groan escaped his lips and he headed back to the dressing room to get changed.

Hours passed and he was now home. Sylus was finishing up a few emails on his computer but for some reason a little part of his mind was a little distracted by you, and of course, out of curiosity he decided to search you up.

And, well…fuck.

You were pretty popular, and had a bunch of views. All your videos seemed to be doing very well and Sylus couldn't help but feel something inside him, it wasn’t jealousy, but something completely different.

So, instinctively, he hovered his mouse over the play button of one of your most viral videos. Sylus leaned back in his chair as he let the video play out in front of him.

He watched as this fuckass purple haired man fucked you like a slut. The man's fingers digging deep in your hips as his cock pummeled deep into you, Sylus somewhat felt annoyed, but his fingers were definitely not annoyed.

Cause after barely being five minutes into the video, Sylus already had his fingers wrapped around his hard cock, he stroked slow movements on it as his eyes continued to stay locked on your pixelated video.

Rage fueled his eyes and he couldn’t wait for the day he gets to do the video with you to come soon. The last few minutes of the video played and a grovelling moan escaped Sylus’ lips as the last few drops of semen dripped out of him.

After he got himself cleaned up, he decided to watch your other videos, without getting off at them.

He was just going to watch them.

It was already the next morning and Sylus went through each and every one of your videos from that night, he didn’t get a wink of sleep since and his mind that had a faded memory of you was now completely filled with you.

As much as he tried to get you out of his mind, it was impossible for him to do so.

But while the days progressed, there was still a week until you and Sylus were supposed to have a shoot.

And each day, Sylus was asking the same question to his manager.

The first day he limped to his manager and played a dramatic act before he asked, “my leg hurts…is it possible we skip this person and i do my next shoot next week?”

“No.”

Okay, that didn't work out.

On the second day Sylus showed up to the studio later than usual, when he finally walked in, his manager was already bombarding him with a bunch of questions, asking where he was and such.

“My voice hurts a little and I lost my script, can we just skip this person?”

“Nope, I have an extra script if you want, also this script is for the person next week? So get on with it and make sure you’re ready tomorrow..” His manager pulled out some papers and shoved them towards Sylus, who groaned in response and walked away.

On the third day–also the day he had to shoot with the woman before you, he tried to make every possible excuse to avoid the filming but no one was listening to him.

And now, there was just an hour left before he had to start the shoot, so he decided to give in and just get it over with, and hope he’d just finish quickly. An hour passed and the woman showed up on set. His manager got the cameras ready and in a quick second the three second timer ended and the cameras started rolling.

Sylus’ fingers snaked around the woman’s waist as he aligned her pussy with Sylus’ cock, he pushed her down on it and rocked his hips against her ass, the sounds of his unrhythmic thrusts filling the room was getting him nowhere to release.

Sylus kept his eyes shut as he continued to pummel himself deep into the woman. He tried to think of anything that would get him to cum any quicker, then…ever so suddenly he winked open an eye and glanced at the woman's breasts, and then a memory of your cleavage appeared in his mind.

A whine slipped from Sylus’ lips and that's how he knew he was close, so close. Sylus’ fingers gripped tighter on the woman's waist and he pulled and pushed her, up and down, up and down, his eyes were locked onto her pussy that was clenching his cock in a respectful manner, now all Sylus needed to do was imagine it was your–

Shit.

A loud moan escaped Sylus’ lips and he pulled the woman out of him and sighed against the bed. Now that hack definitely worked out. A minute or so passed and Sylus’ manager walked towards him, a surprised look appearing in his eyes as he helped Sylus get cleaned up.

“That was… way too quick, don’t ‘cha think?” His manager chuckled awkwardly, patting Sylus down with a warm wet towel, but Sylus just shrugged and rested the warm towel against his eyes.

“I just need four more days to pass,” he said in the lowest voice he possibly could.

-

And finally, those four long, excruciating days passed and Sylus pranced around his studio as he waited for you to come as soon as possible. He bit his finger and sat on the bed as the seconds passing felt like minutes, and then hours, and then day–

The click of his door awoke Sylus from his stressing and he perked up on the bed, looking as the door opened up to reveal you walking in, a couple of papers in your hands as you glanced around the studio, and finally making eye contact with Sylus.

The faintest smile appeared on Sylus’ lips as he watched you walk towards him, his eyes quickly looking you up and down before you spoke up, “did you practice your lines?” your beautiful voice made Sylus stammer before he nodded.

“Mhmm, let's start now. Aye get the cameras ready f’me?” Sylus directed to the manager, who obediently listens to his orders and gets the cameras ready. As both of your managers were getting things ready, Sylus glanced at the busy workers before his fingers snaked around your waist, pulling you closer–

What was he doing? He didn't even know why he pulled you close like that…

Sylus cleared his throat before slightly pushing you away. And before either of you could speak, the managers hollered that they were ready. So you step away from Sylus and get in position.

The cameras started rolling and you walked towards Sylus in a seductive manner. Was that even a part in the script? Sylus was so dazed by you he patiently waited till you reached him. And so the final second you were just a few inches away from him, Sylus wrapped his arms around you and pulled you onto his lap.

His large fingers cupped the sides of your face and Sylus pulled you in an intense, needy kiss. His tongue darted towards your closed lips as he sought entrance, wanting–needing, to savour more of you.

A quiet gasp left your lips and you obediently parted your lips, letting his tongue slide right through, tasting everything. He slid his fingers through your hair as he pushed you down on the bed. Fuck, he might as well had forgotten the whole script, might as well wing it.

Sylus continued to devour you, acting like he hadn't eaten for a year. Moments later he pulled away to catch his breath and stare at your flushed face beneath him. Now, comes the fun part. Sylus grabbed onto your knees as he spread your legs apart.

His eyes darted at your bare pussy on display for him, you weren't even wearing anything under that dress and that just turned on Sylus even more. His hungry gaze lingered there for a few minutes before he removed his belt and his pants in a quick movement.

Sylus’ hard cock was on display for you, he wrapped two fingers around it, slowly stroking himself before pressing his tip against your drooling cunt.

“Ready?” Sylus asked, teasingness laced in his voice. You let out a desperate whine and he pressed himself inside you, his cock was stretching out your pussy and that's when his whole mood took a whole 180.

Sylus grabbed onto your hips, his short nails dug deep into them as he rocked you and him back and forth in an indescribable pattern. Moans filled the studio and he already forgot what he was supposed to do next, he just continued ramming himself into you.

“Fuck..” Sylus moaned, pushing himself balls deep inside you.

“S-slow down!” you whine, trying to slow down the pace he was rocking you in but Sylus’ grip tightened even more, his cold gaze, filled with lust was glaring down at you, he looked like he was trying to hold back his release, and that's clearly what he was doing.

But of course, he couldn't hold himself back. After his eyes mistakenly went to your bouncing tits, he immediately felt a wave of pleasure splurge through him. Sylus groaned, but that didn't stop him from continuing.

He flipped you over and continued pummeling his cock deep inside you, the creamy mixture was pooling out of your tight cunt on every thrust and your moans grew louder and louder on each one.

“You’re taking me in so–ngh good.” he moaned, quickening the pace even quicker, a whiny answer escaped your lips but Sylus was too much in a horny daze to even decipher what you said, this was probably the best sex he had.

“Sy! ‘m gonna cum!” you whine, arching your back and spreading your legs further apart as you felt the pleasure deep down you. Sylus let out a shaky response and tried to pull away, but he was so addicted, you felt way too good and he needed more.

You thought he had pulled out by the time you came, but when your flushed face turned to his large figure shadowing over behind you, and noticed he was still inside you, you knew you were done for. Pleasure blinded Sylus’ eyes as he pulled himself out of you, just to watch the mess pool out of you.

Sylus’ fingers pressed against your puffy folds and he slowly stretched them out as his eyes watched the mixture stream out of your tight cunt, a quiet whine escaped your lips when you felt his fingers dig inside your walls as he pulled out every last drop.

“Shit.” he muttered, pulling his fingers out to look at the dripping mess dripping from his digits. You pant heavily, not having any energy for an answer. Before Sylus could continue any further both your managers yelled out ‘cut!” and Sylus snapped out of daze and sighed. Hopping off the bed and helping you out too moments later.

“Sylus! Did you even read the script?!” His manager poked on his biceps and Sylus shook his head.

“Sorry.”

“Whatever, no retakes. We will just upload this and see where it goes, but…Good job today.” His manager patted his back and walked away to grab some towels and extra clothes. Sylus quietly chuckled, his gaze lingering on your figure beneath him.

He wouldn’t mind doing this again, in fact, he wanted to do another shoot with you, this time, with nobody around.

part 7 of untamed desires | sylus -> next work

[nmn-yty]

— ๋࣭ ⭑࿐ leaning on you ˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

read other parts first!!! : part 1 — part 2

pairing: lee know x reader

summary: you somehow managed to cross the line with your bunny, can it be pleasurable for the both of you?

tags: 「NSFW! 18+ only! smut | hybrid!lee know | referring to lee know as minho | hybrid wanting to mate | needy!lee know makes a return | humping/thighjob | nipple play | unprotected sex (i dont condone!) | anal | orgasms for both^^ | cuddles are here i promise | reader has no gender」

word count: 2.5k

a/n: hello! i severely apologize to all of you who have been waiting for this part to come out :( ive been struggling to find time to continue to write, and the motivation with it... but here it is! seriously... i can't explain how much i appreciate all of the love you guys have given to my stories♡ im so happy you guys love bunny lee know so much! i also wanted to keep this as neutral as possible regarding the reader (hence the anal) but you can switch it out in your imagination! (i wanted to have all readers to be able to enjoy!) also this is my first smut story being uploaded... i hope you guys have a good read><!!!~

+ stylized lowercase, missing punctuation (not done on purpose), and minimal revisions

"so do bunnies like you experience everything a human should?"

you didn't know why your mind was drifting towards this direction. for as long as you had minho in your house, you were sure your relationship would be 100% platonic. he was adorable as hell, eased your mind whenever any worries came to you, and was always there by your side. did that give you clearance to make a move on him? you didn't want to ruin the perfect relationship you two had, but you have needs, and you were wondering if he had the ability to share those same needs.

minho paused for a moment, sitting oddly still while you sat above him. you were sitting on the edge of your bed, playing with his hair while he sat on the floor with his head leaning against the mattress. his head was almost at a distance where you could press your thighs against each side of his face, but you resisted enough so the lingering thoughts of teasing him went away.

he turned around briefly to face you, "what do you mean by 'everything'?"

your face began to flush after you realized how insensitive your question could've been.

"not to pry or anything but... aren't bunnies known for... having a high sex drive?" you spat out quickly before your confidence faded away.

his eyes widened, this is the first time youve seen him this shocked at your words. he was too shocked to even reply to you, not that he had anything ready in his mind. you could feel his presence tense up and you wanted to steer clear of whatever dirty path your mind seemed to wander on. he didn't say anything and just turned back around, finally leaning into your thigh. he wrapped one arm around your leg, feeling your cool skin calming down his burning face. having him so close to you when you wanted to run away in shame felt strange. you were always used to being close to minho, but the sudden affection, especially after that moment, was out of place. your leg started to warm up because of his face. starting to relax a bit, you realized that it wasn't the right time to head across that line.

you smiled and started to play with his hair again, looping each little section around your finger into curls. they eventually sprung back to its natural shape once you let go. minho loved this time with you, when all you did was leave your worries for that day and focused on him. it was his favorite thing to do while being with you. he still carried the thought in his mind, 'maybe something would happen during my need for mating'. only time could tell the new moments you two would experience together.

during the late night, you and minho were cuddling in bed. it wasn't strange for the both of you anymore. you knew that minho felt more comfortable knowing that you kept him safe. cuddling with him was the least you could do to comfort him.

this night felt different though. the question you asked earlier felt like a reach into unwanted territories. you wanted him to expand on his feelings, but at the end of the day he was a shy bunny who got flustered easier than you thought.

unsure of your next thoughts, you closed your eyes and tried your best to go to sleep as soon as you could. feeling rustling from behind you, minho's presence inched closer to you. the movement didn't stop, you could feel him shaking now. was it too cold in the room? you stayed as still as possible, trying to make out the noise coming from him. he was whimpering softly, almost like he needed something desperately.

"m-minho?"

you turned around to face him, tears were welling up in his eyes. he was clearly distraught about something but you had no clue what happened. your heart sank, was it because of the invasive conversation from earlier?

he sniffed softly, trying to make out words but ultimately getting choked up.

"i... i need..."

his eyes glanced down to the bottom half of his body. tentatively scanning his body as to what he was trying to point out, the last and most obvious thing you noticed was a slight twitch coming from his crotch, the cloth sticking up as well.

'fuck... is this really happening?' you thought to yourself. you managed to repress and bury all the inappropriate thoughts you had about minho, but he was about to fuel it once again. his face was as pink as ever, in desperate need for your warm touch.

"is this what i think it is?"

"mating tendencies... yeah... i-ive never experienced it while being human, i dont know if it will feel the same. but i r-really need..."

he was huffing between words, stuttering as well.

"let me think for a second."

you turned facing away from him. rubbing your thighs together, trying to hold back the good aching feeling rising within, you couldn't help but panic for a second. would you help him out because he's in pain and needs to relieve himself? how would this moment affect your relationship moving forward? would it be a normal occurrence, or only during his need to mate? would it be better to just ignore it and try hold on to whatever you two had going on when you first met?

your rushing thoughts were interrupted by something warm, sticky, and hard. something poking at your thighs, trying to squeeze itself in between.

you couldn't help but let out a small yelp. that feeling began to rise in you. there was no way things were going back to how they used to be. the movement kept progressing, you glanced down in front of yourself to find the head of minho's cock against your thighs. you wanted nothing more than to take him, take his body, and pleasure the both of you were bound to have.

"minho please.." you reached down towards his cock, ready to progress. he misunderstood and took it as you wanting to stop. he pulled away, hesitantly, already missing the softness of your thighs.

"mm sorry... i j-just need.."

"hey," you turned around slightly to grab his face. you flashed him a small grin, making sure he didn't feel guilty for acting this way around you. "it's okay."

a tear started to stream down one side of his face. your reassurance made him slide himself back in between your thighs. you wondered how it was possible for it to feel so good on your bare skin. you had shorts on but it all of a sudden became more hot under the blankets. your thighs were coated in a thin layer of his precum. he gripped onto your body for a better stroke pattern.

sweet little moans erupted from behind you. minho was the one engulfing your body with his tall stature against you. however, you felt like you were in charge at the moment. letting your sweet bunny try and cum from your body was more than enough for you to start to get horny yourself.

slipping a hand under your shirt, you began to play with your nipples slowly. you shut your eyes and leaned more into minho's chest, hoping that he wouldn't catch you in the act. sweet little huffs turned into loud groans, he was in a trance and he hadn't even started to properly explore your body. he had ultimately noticed you leaning more into him, even arching your back. he wanted you to feel comfortable and not worry as much about trying to relieve yourself on your own. although you were the one trying to help him, he wanted to be the one to help you with your release too.

"let me.. please?" he said while placing his hand on top of yours, wanting to take your place on your chest. you moved your hand down in defeat, it was impossible to say no to him. his hands felt warm on your bare skin. swirling his fingers around you and occasionally pulling, your nipples hardened more and more. your breath started to get unsteady as you wanted more. shivers ran throughout your whole body.

gently breaking the contact of his cock and your thighs, you turned your whole body around to face him. you locked eyes with him and all the guilt and doubts you had in your mind about you two went away. his cock began to twitch at the loss of warmth. you suddenly placed your hand on him, slowly stroking and gliding on him, your hand becoming a sticky mess. he let out a strong huff and tilted his head back. you both were seeing stars. minho was unable to fathom that you were finally touching him, taking in all the strength to not cum right then and there. you were also shocked at how good you felt. seeing his reaction made you more comfortable and ready to move further.

grabbing your face with both hands, he placed a passionate, wet kiss on your lips. his tongue was determined and he kept moving his mouth in ways that sent you to heaven. pulling away to see your reaction, he smiled, "im still all yours, remember?" his voice just became more sexy to you than ever. you quickly locked lips with him again, smiling through it all. his lips were soft and plump from all the action, he bit the bottom of your lip to signal he needed some air. both of you sharing the same blushing expression.

he tried to drag your body back around but ultimately needed assistance. helping him out, you turned around immediately. sticking your ass out on his bare cock, you moved your hips up and down. minho was at his breaking point. he nudged his mouth near your ear, slowly dragging your shorts and underwear down. "please? let me put it in... i need to feel you.." his breath was hot and low on your ear. you were surprised you hadn't melted into a puddle yet.

you didn't say anything. you were too drunk off of the bliss feeling lingering throughout your whole body. you placed a hand on top of his that was resting on your hip. he took that as a sign to start.

not a second to waste, he lodged his entire length into your ass, letting out a deep moan into your ear. you arched your back more and almost choked up on the intense yelp you let out. he filled you up so good, it barely hurt from all the precum he was dripping with. he also took his time on the first stroke, pulling out his length so you knew how its absence would feel. you squeezed his hand, wanting more.

he slowly stroked back in, his high coming back harder this time. you felt like your heart was going to explode. his slow rhythm became more loud and sloppy, the wetness spreading throughout your bodies. syncing your moans with each pump, you instinctively rolled your tongue to hang out and pant more. you wanted this feeling to last for as long as possible.

the pace began to increase, and minho wasn't holding back on his moans. this whole time he was in his human form, but this much work was bound to make him change. you didn't notice at first, but his bunny ears appeared and drooped down, gently caressing your face. being in his hybrid form made him more bunny like, it made him go faster. the rhythm was so irresistible, it was fast but gentle, hitting you in all the right places. you felt yourself being filled with more fluid, gliding himself became easier than before.

he held onto your body even closer and tighter. minho started to felt bad about involving you in this situation, but you did want to be closer to him in this way. he wanted to make sure you felt satisfied, so he held himself back and focused the pleasure going to you. the final stretch of your rising heat and the steady rhythm snapped you out of your trance.

"s-slower, please minh-ho," you whined out. you couldn't tell, but he began to smirk at the way his name sounded in that tone. it drove him crazy, the fact that he was actually making you a complete mess. you wanted to savor this addictive feeling, but the slower strokes made your body greedy.

it all came rushing in at once, you let out one last yelp as you rode through your high. minho helped you by holding on to your shaking body.

the sight of your worn body filled himself with so much pride, he was shocked that he hadn't came yet. "did that feel good?" his voice was low and velvety in your ears again.

"y-yes," you managed to whisper out. still sensitive, you could feel him twitching around your walls, which made you choke slightly between breaths. he was trying his best not to move too much, but his body wasn't on his side.

you wanted to help him, but first you needed to recover. he moved his head to your neck, slowly sucking and kissing around to make sure you were okay. his sweet behavior was very calming, especially after the first orgasm you experienced with him.

"dont you want to cum too?" your question snapped him back to the situation at hand.

"can i?"

you nodded lazily, about to doze off at any minute. however, minho was quick to return to his rough pace, making your eyes steady again. he buried his head back onto you, acting like the shy bunny you knew too. the deeper and harder he pumped, he suddenly whispered a quick 'fuck' under his breath, pulling out of you. he grabbed his dick and painted your ass with his warm, thick cum.

it was beautiful, seeing how happy he was to finally get his first orgasm as a human. he pressed his body up against you, getting all the cum and sweat on his body as well. he didn't mind it though, he was too tired to clean up.

he looked drained, you noticed the beads of sweat all over his face and body. he was glistening with a new aura, and he looked like the most beautiful thing in the world. he still managed to give you a crooked smile, letting you know it was a good experience. you started to get flustered, even though you two just experienced the most intimate action ever.

you changed your position, letting your face sit on his chest. you buried and hid your red face from him. he gently reached up to pet your head, soothing you to sleep.

waking up to minho distanced away, you couldn't help but pull him back into a cuddle. he had quickly turned back into his bunny form to recharge from the actions that took place last night. he didn't flinch at all from the movement, he just slowed his breathing down as he was surrounded by a sudden warmth. you couldn't help but feel a little sorry about the sacrifice he took today. you pet his body slowly, kissing his head gently. you wanted to apologize for the state he was in now, but he was the one who made sure that it was okay to go through with in the first place.

♥︎taglist: @lailac13 @palindrome969 @lunathewonyoungstan @syedazarintasnim @yourlocalstayyxi @yukichan67 @qwonyoung23 @cupidcures @verynormalsstuff @leezanetheofficial @brainrotahahaha @kim-hao-han @b0os-jellfyfish @l33felix @wirwirfr @skzmylove75 @katsukis1wife @zyoopioo @katsukisloveinterest

© nmn-yty ★ 7.15.2024

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello!!! Could you write Caine, Kinger and Pomni x Reader who's been there longer than anyone else? Instead of absolutely losing it, they have managed to just become incredibly calm and just generally used to it and Caines shenanigans.

Caine Kinger and Pomni x reader who's been around the longest but isnt insane

i kind of really want chai cookies rn. and vanilla cupcakes. and lemon drizzle cake. not sure if its like a cue or what because ive been CARNALLY wanting sweet stuff lately but... i dont usually have a sweet tooth.. grrgrr... i hate being on a deficit and meds. messes with my hormones but alas i need my meds notes: gn reader, short and sweet, written on computer, youre actually pretty chill to be around all things considered cws: none

CAINE

you... intrigue him... its not that he wants you to abstract- honestly im on the side of "caine doesnt really mean any genuine harm," for the time being- hes got a lot of feelings for you. curious to see how much longer you can last- not that he wants to see you fold-, and a sense of odd admiration. youve seen a lot of stuff

he feels an attachment to you too, youve been around for so so so long now that youve just become a normal part of the circus at this point, youre like... a part of the coding now- even though youre a real person... youre like.. his buddy! his pal! his partner in crime- not that hes committing any crimes! because crimes are.. crimes! as hed say at least

sometimes you can use this to your advantage to tone him down a little when he gets a little into making his adventures. make him... calmer... reasonable. hes still chaotic and a bit all over the place but you anchor him down just a bit. its probably going to get real weird when you do abstract though

KINGER

honestly... seeing him spiral into his current state was hard to watch. youve seen first hand how he went from this kind and intelligent man to this paranoid mess. not that he isnt kind anymore. he still is, and he tries his best but god- that knowledge of what he used to be sits heavy on you

he instinctively clings onto you because he knows youre familiar even if his memories are all jumbled up. in his eyes youre a safe person so of course hes going to seek you out when he can during adventures- and when its just leisure time in the circus

youre calmer demeanor helps him relax a bit, even without being in the pillow fort. if youre patient enough you can convince him to take a break and spend some time with the others on his worse days

POMNI

her introduction to kinger- assuming this is pre halloween episode- made her think you were going to be a bit... scrambled... too... but shes a bit taken aback at how calm and put together you are. and shes silently thanking you for that- its nice having someone she can actually talk to.. ragathas nice... but you know a little more than her thanks to your time here

though... the fact youve been here for so long does make her feel sick. i dont think shes fully given up on escaping- its just not her main focus right now, save her own mental health or whatever... but you being here for so long does dampen her spirits a bit. so she really is just stuck here, huh?

theres only so much you can do to comfort her, but youve seen so many people come and go in the circus that youve probably got a few ideas on how to tackle her and keep her emotionally anchored long enough to change the subject

[annicht]

intimacy limbo

Miya Atsumu x MSBY PR manager! reader

Warnings: nsfw, suggestive convo, dirty talk, drunk atsumu, drunk call, nothing very explicit though

word count: 1106

@ anni says: I'm a sucker for this dynamic, probably will write more, let me know if y'all liked 🤲

“hello?”

you pick up the annoying phone buzzing under your pillow without sparing much time to check the name on the screen, assuming it's an emergency, since nobody would sanely call another person in the middle of the night if it wasn't important, right?

… wrong

“did I wake you up?“ — the voice on the other side said and you wondered if he was joking

you sat on the bed, looking to the clock on the bedstand

“it's 2am, Atsumu. Why are you calling?”

you asked in a deep hoarse sleepy voice, your forehead frowning while your brain tried to make the sinapses of why Atsumu Miya would call his PR Manager at such hour.

all the answers sounded terrible

“fuck, don't tell me you're screwing a married actress again? or you fought someone at a party? it's fucking friday Atsumu you're gonna make me work on the weekend again—”

“God, your voice is so hot when you wake up…”

he interrupted my rambling with his own and immediately I realize he might be drunk.

“where are you?” — I asked, a little more soothing now

“uhhh… home?”

“since when?”

“since… ten minutes ago”

“where were you?”

“i— at a pub? with Bokkun and some others”

“why are you calling?”

the line went quiet, I can feel the hesitation lingering, but I don't push it, just hearing his deep breathing for some long seconds

“i— wanted to hear your voice… you…”

he stops suddenly, and I let him be, laying back down on my bed, keeping the phone on my ear, looking at the ceiling

“are you drunk?”

“no. maybe? a little. but not much” — enough to call me in the middle of the night, I think to myself. but also don't comment on it

I stay quiet on the line for a few seconds, enough for him to protest.

“hey”

“hm?”

“talk to me”

he say, a demanding tone, and I can't help but snort.

“what do you want to talk about, Miya?”

“when was the last time you fucked somebody”

my breath hitched in a silent surprise, not expecting this question

“what the fuck, Atsumu—”

“answer me”

I stop on my track, narrowing my eyes and shaking my head, trying to remember when was the last time I—

“that'd be… three months ago? on a blind date”

“did you cum?”

my eyebrow raise on an impossible force, but I can't bring myself to be uncomfortable with his questions. a sick dynamic that blossomed after the Olympic games, when I cleaned up all of his messes

“I didn't”

“And when was the last time?”

I narrow my eyes, not quite catching

“Last time…?”

“That you came?”

“uhm… Last night? I mean, I don't need a man to cum, do I…?”

He hissed on the phone, that was the only answer I didn't antecipated.

“Atsumu, are you getting off from my voice?”

I ask bluntly, expecting an equal blunt answer. And how was my surprise when I didn't get one

“I— no, I don't… I just… that's not…”

“You're such a slut"

this time he graced me with a whimper from the back of his throat,

and somehow, in a sick way, I was starting to like

“… you drive me crazy, you know that?”

he said, his voice clearly deeper, darker

“how do I drive you crazy, Miya?”

“don't… dont call me that... not now”

“i’ll call you whatever I want, Miya”

he hiss again, and I almost chuckle. but I hold back, just asking

“what was that?”

silence on the other way, I hear him sighing, and I mend, testing the waters

“Atsumu?”

“Yes!”

he say immediately and exhasperated, and I smile

“you like how I say your name?”

“I… very much”

“what if I moaned your name?”

“… ah… fuck… don't say shit like that…”

“Okay, I won't…”

“But please do”

this time I can't hold back, I crack a laugh on the phone

“Miya, there's only so much mixed signals someone can handle”

“You speak like you'd let me fuck you even if I beg”

“We can't, Miya”

he sigh deep on the other side, I can hear the frustration in his voice

“I'll send my nudes to a sports journalist and create the biggest PR scandal MSBY has ever seen”

he say in a petty act and I crack another laugh, knowing he doesn't actually would do something of such magnitude. not purposefully, at least.

“You know that would only obligate us to stay in the same meeting room for long hours until I fix it, don't you?”

he sigh, frustrated again, on the other side of the line, and I hear muffled sounds of something soft, probably him shifting on his bed

but the silence linger again, and before he can protest, I break it

“You should go to sleep, you have practice tomorrow”

“… can't. ‘m hard.” — he say and I snort, biting my tongue to not ask for proof

“take a cold shower, masturbate, dunno. go to sleep, Miya”

I hear him sighigh frustrated again, another set of shuffling noises

“okay, I'll go”

he say and part of me feel bad, not wanting to end the call, used to this sick twisted intimacy that I cultivated myself

“You go, and don't get late for practice tomorrow. G’night”

“night”

his answer is dry, and before he (or I) can hesitate or say anything else, I press the red button, putting my phone down on the bed.

I sigh, throwing my arms on my face, knowing I'm in the wrong for indulging Atsumu antics,

but this dynamic, once settled, it's impossible to go back. The rush of dopamine is too delicious, making both of us stuck in a middle term limbo of attraction and curiosity, leading to a twisted intimacy.

after tossing and turning on the bed for a while, in a failed attempt to go back to sleep, I decide to take back my phone, seeking some brain distraction

and I see a lost text from Atsumu

i knew opening his message would only make things worse for me. But I do it either way. And the sight makes my mouth water.

“fucking hell” I think to myself, grumbling while opening the bedstand drawer where my toys are, preparing for a couple more hours of perturbation

[yanyandam]

hi! i hope you're having a nice day! it's my first time requesting here :> can i get a scenarios wherein the bonten is babying the reader or comforting her because she's so stressed from work (it's me, im so stressed huhu) it can be fluff, suggestive, anything hehe. you dont have to rush, and thank you very much in advance if you ever granted my request. i love your works so much. take care always <3

HEYYY thanks for requesting. I genuinely hope you'll feel better, im also bad at handling my stress...This is sadly pretty rushed, I wrote it during my economy class (mfs will write bonten ffs instead of focusing on money problems.) Didn't know if you meant bonten separately or not so I did both lmao, there's a scenario w the whole gang down there

WARNINGS: None, except that this is pretty out of character omg Idk how to write FLUFF with BONTEN in the same dimensions without it seeming like a comedy show from the 80's

Manjiro doesn’t talk about emotions, but he understands exhaustion deeply. -If he lets you stay close to him despite his dark impulses AND doesn’t let them make him hurt you, that alone means he cares. -He’ll silently take action, making sure your workload disappears without admitting he did it for you.

You come home late, your body aching from work. You barely manage to take off your jacket before collapsing onto the couch with a groan. Your head is throbbing. He’s sitting nearby, eating Dorayaki, his face blank as usual. He barely acknowledges you, but after a few moments, he finally mutters, “Tired?” You exhale sharply. “What do you think?” There’s a long silence. You expect him to say nothing else, he usually doesn’t. But then, in a slow, detached voice, he mutters, “Go to sleep. I’ll handle it.” You blink. “Handle what?” No response. But the next morning, your biggest work problems have mysteriously disappeared. Someone “took care of it.” You don’t ask who. You already know.

Sanzu’ first instinct is to eliminate the problem. If he can’t do that, he’ll take control of you instead, not in a bad way -If you mean something to him, he’ll make sure you survive, even against your own exhaustion -He’s trying. OK?

You’re sitting at the table, rubbing your temples, your head buried in your arms. You’re so drained you barely notice him watching you. "What’s wrong?" His voice is low, flat, like he’s assessing a problem to be solved. "Just… work. It’s killing me." He doesn’t blink. "Then quit." You huff a laugh. "I can’t just quit." He stares at you for a long time, his face unreadable. Then, without warning, he reaches over and takes your phone. "Hey..! what are you doing?!"

"Making you rest." He shuts it off, slides it into his pocket. "You’re not getting this back until you stop being pathetic." You glare at him, but before you can argue, he places something in front of you, a plate of food. "Eat," he orders. His tone is sharp, but there’s something close to concern deep down. You don’t fight him this time.

-Kakucho’s way of helping is subtle, he won’t say much, but his actions speak louder than words. -If you push him, he might give the laziest, most half-hearted comforting words, but only if no one else is around. He’s not the same sweetheart he used to be.

You’re hunched over your laptop, typing furiously. Your eyes sting from exhaustion. He walks in, glances at you, then sighs. He disappears into the kitchen for a moment, then returns and sets something on the table next to you. A cup of coffee. You blink up at him. “Thanks.”

"Whatever." He turns to leave, then pauses at the doorway. There’s a long silence. You can feel him hesitating. Then, barely above a mutter, he adds, "Don’t overwork yourself." It’s simple yet so genuine.

-Kokonoi doesn’t believe in emotional support anymore, but he does believe in efficiency. He somehow decided you were worth protecting. -His way of fixing your stress? Throwing money at it until the problem disappears. I hate to limit Koko's character to 'the god of money', but really: unfortunately, he has no idea how to show his 'affection' otherwise.

You’re pacing the room, venting about your workload. "It’s just so much—I can’t even keep up. And my boss is breathing down my neck and—"

"Enough," he interrupts. You pause mid-rant. He pulls out his phone, taps a few buttons, then looks up at you with that same unreadable, calculating expression. "It’s handled." You frown. "What do you mean, it’s—"

"I mean I paid someone to do it for you." He tilts his head, watching your reaction. "Now sit down and stop acting pathetic." You want to be mad. You should be mad. But when you check your phone, your workload has been cut in half. He smirks. "You’re welcome."

-Mochizuki  actually wants to be supportive, but he doesn’t know how, so he does what he knows best: feeds you. He’ll act like it’s not a big deal, but deep down, he hates seeing you miserable.

You’re slumped on the couch, groaning. He walks in, glances at you, then disappears into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he plops down next to you and shoves a takeout box into your hands. "Eat." You groan. "I’m not hungry." He glares. "That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Just eat." You sigh, but take a bite. It’s really good. He smirks. "See? I know what I’m doing."

-Ran doesn’t understand emotional suffering, but he knows how to fix problems: pampering you

You’re buried in paperwork when he suddenly snatches it out of your hands. "What the—"

"You’re taking the week off," he states. "I already paid your boss. If he refuses…Let's just say he's going to have some serious problems with my subordinates.” You stare at him. "…You’re joking."

"Try me." The next day, you’re sitting in a luxury hotel suite, all expenses paid.

-Rindou  pretends not to care, but he actually does. -His way of helping is dragging you away from your stress and forcing you to relax.

You’re staring blankly at your laptop when he suddenly grabs your wrist and pulls you up.

"What—"

"We’re going out."

"I have work—"

"I don’t care. You’re boring when you’re stressed."

He drags you outside. Club, restaurant, spa…Whatever is your preference. You protest at first, but hours later, after a fun distraction, you actually feel relaxed. He smirks. "Told you."

BONUS: ALL OF THEM

You were sitting at a round table in one of their private lounges, elbows on the polished wood, face buried in your hands. The stress of work had hit you hard today, your boss was an idiot, the deadlines were impossible, and the thought of going back tomorrow made your stomach twist. You let out a long sigh. "I think I'm gonna snap and kill someone."

"Wouldn’t recommend it. You don’t have the balls for it," Kakucho muttered, lighting a cigarette, his usual calm expression unreadable. "I could get rid of the body for you," Sanzu said casually, tilting his head. "If Mikey allows it."

Manjiro, who was slouched in the armchair across from you, exhaled a long drag of smoke, watching you with that dangerous, unreadable gaze of his. "They pissing you off that bad?"

"Beyond." You groaned.

Mochi, sitting beside you, leaned forward. "Maybe you should just quit. I mean, you don’t need that job. You could just… open a café or something." Ran scoffed, swirling a glass of whiskey in his hand. "What a naïve thought. This is real life, not a fucking dream."

"You’re the last person who should talk about real life," Rindou muttered, rolling his eyes before turning to you. "You should take tomorrow off. Sleep in, eat something decent. You look like you’re about to pass out."

Kokonoi, who had been watching you in silence, finally leaned forward, his sharp gaze locked onto yours. "Your boss… give me a name."

You blinked. "What? No—I'm not getting you guys involved."

Sanzu smiled "Too late. We’re already involved."

Mikey sighed. "No one's killing anyone. Yet." He gestured for you to come closer, "You just need to relax. We’ll handle the rest." Mochi grinned and pushed a plate toward you. "Here. Eat. You can’t complain about life on an empty stomach." Rindou smirked slightly "Might as well drink too. You won’t care about your job after three shots."

You exhaled, looking at the ridiculous group around you. Dangerous men, criminals, killers… but somehow, tonight, they were just a bunch of idiots trying to make you feel better. And it worked.

[cinnamostar]

four dates to fall in love

part one. part two. part three. part four (here). part five. part six coming soon.

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 2.7k

cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, blood/knife ments (no injury, theyre just cooking lol), emotional vulnerability

a/n : welcome to part four. the slow burn is absolutely slowburning. things are happening. i dont have much to say other than it being hard for me to write, but pls let me know what you think!!!!!! likes and reblogs appreciated!

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

“It went well?” Chan exclaimed in shock over your speakerphone.

You hum in agreement, confusion in the forefront of your mind, “Surprisingly, it went better than I could have ever imagined,” a sigh escapes you, “I don’t know, it’s weird.”

“Well, the fact he even apologized caught me off guard in the first place.”

You laugh lightly, “Oh, trust me, I still am having a hard time believing it. It’s been so long of him being an asshole to me, so seeing him like this was… very different. A little scary, if I’m being honest.”

“Yet it still went well even though it was kinda weird?”

“I mean, it was really awkward at the start which was annoying, but I can’t blame him. He genuinely did look like he felt bad, so it probably was hard to be in his position,” you think aloud, “But it was getting too much and he was putting a damper on the mood, so I tried to make him more comfortable, which worked. Then we started talking, and I don’t really know how to say it, but it felt… really nice? It made me realize that maybe I did miss our friendship.”

“Well, you guys did get along really well before everything happened. To be honest, I thought there was something more going on before then,” Chan recalls, “Though, his sudden change made me realize I was way off.”

Your eyebrows furrow at Chan’s comment, “Something more? Like romantic?”

He chuckles from the other end of the line, “Yeah, I thought something was going on between you two. You guys just seemed to click really well, better than any other costar you’ve had in the past, even to this day. Lowkey thought it was going to be a Tom Holland and Zendaya moment.”

“Jesus,” you mutter, “Definitely not that, I never thought of him that way.”

“You say that, but I remember the heart eyes you used to look at him with,” he teases.

“Oh, shut up. I did not. Besides, that’s not what’s important in the present time!”

He rolls his eyes, even though you couldn’t see it, you could feel it in his tone, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. You’re right though, it is a difficult situation for both of you to be in. Other than it being uncomfortable, how are you feeling about it?”

You let out a heavy sigh, “I mean, part of me is happy to be able to have a normal relationship with him, but… I’m still really mad at him for how he treated me. I don’t think it’s something I can let go of yet.”

“That’s okay. You have time to process all of that, no one is rushing you.”

“I know, but for a moment yesterday, I kinda forgot about all that. I had fun with him, and I want to keep having fun, but then I remember everything and feel so… upset that I am even letting him back into my life, even if it's for a bit.”

“Huh…” Chan muddles over your words for a moment, “That is quite the dilemma. I think you have every right to be upset at him, but I also think it’s okay if you miss your friend. I just think you have to figure out what kind of boundaries you want to set for yourself then. I think you can still have a nice time with him without him earning your forgiveness just yet. He can be a surface level friend or acquaintance until he proves himself trustworthy again.”

“You’re right, but I just didn’t like how easily it slipped my mind. Part of me feels like I should still be more on guard and not as friendly, but he makes that hard too.”

“Y/N, it’ll be okay,” he reassures, “You’ll figure it out, but it’s perfectly fine for you to have fun, while still having boundaries, okay?”

You sigh, still a bit unconvinced by his words, “I guess…”

“I know it’s hard, I can’t imagine what it's like to be in your position, but I promise it will be okay.”

“I’ll believe you just this once!”

“You say that every time, but sure, just this once. Call you tomorrow, alright?”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

It was the next evening, and you were anxiously waiting in your apartment for Hyunjin to arrive. You weren’t sure how today was going to go, and the idea Changbin had for you both today made you nervous, as it felt as a far more intimate setting than the previous dates. Although, you couldn’t entirely argue with his logic. Today, he suggested that you both cooked a simple dinner with each other, the idea being that it would help you both learn how to work together towards a common goal, which was dinner in this case.

Despite you being able to understand the logic behind his idea, it was incredibly intimidating to think about having Hyunjin in your own home, especially considering the sudden change in dynamic in your relationship. Even then, you didn’t just let anyone into your home, as you only ever had your closest friends come over for small hang outs, so this was far outside of your comfort zone, but perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe going out of your comfort zone with Hyunjin would only help you both succeed the next time you found yourselves on set, and perhaps something as intimate as cooking together would help you both ease into your roles.

A knock on the door wakes you from your thoughts, prompting you to shuffle hurriedly towards the door to open it for none other than Hyunjin. He greets you with a gentle smile, bowing his head slightly as you let him in wordlessly. There is an awkwardness that hangs in the atmosphere, indicating that you both were uncomfortable with today’s plans and he, too, was likely struggling to find the right words to say.

You take a deep breath in, almost as if you were catching your breath, “Welcome to my place!” You cringe internally at yourself, unable to handle the intensity of the awkwardness between you two and how poor your attempt was to disperse it.

“It’s really nice!” he compliments, standing in place by the entrance after removing his shoes.

“Thank you,” you respond, “Uhm, just follow me, the kitchen is this way. And all the ingredients are ready for us to use, Changbin had them delivered.”

Hyunjin follows you into the kitchen, his eyes taking in every detail around him, filling him with delight to see how characteristic of you the apartment was, it being a perfect representation of your personality. “What are we making again? I don’t think Changbin filled me in.”

“Oh, we’re just making curry udon! It’s something I’ve made before and it’s not too hard. My bad, I didn’t tell Changbin what we were making which is probably why he didn’t tell you. All I did was send him an ingredient list.”

“I forgot you like cooking,” he replies as he stops in your kitchen, quickly turning to the sink to wash his hands.

You hum in response, washing your hands after him, “I think it can be relaxing, but uh, if you want you can start with chopping the carrots and potatoes? I’ll handle the onion and garlic.” Hyunjin nods and follows your orders without much trouble, or so you think, until you turn around and see him holding the knife in a very precarious and questionable manner. Your eyes widen as you rush towards, “Oh my god, that is not how you should be trying to cut a potato. Have you not chopped a veggie in your entire life?”

He smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, “Listen, I don’t do this cooking thing often,” a gentle chuckle leaving him as he takes amusement in your concern, his heart thumping over the sudden proximity you both now shared.

“I-,” you sigh with a baffled expression, “Okay, let me just show you because I am not having you accidentally bleeding out all over my counter.” 

“You’re more worried about your counters than me?”

“Shut up,” you suppress a laugh before softly whispering, “Here, just do it like this,” you reach over and lay your hands atop of his without second thought, guiding him on how to position his hands without the risk of injury. Once you’ve become aware of how your bodies are pressed up against each other from the side, you jump away in an instant, “That’s it! That’s all you gotta do.” You’re quick to avoid eye contact with him, turning towards your own cutting board as you chastise yourself for being so careless with him at that moment.

Hyunjin’s face and ears were soon dusted with a soft pink, heat rushing across his body over the interaction that seemed so natural, but manages to mutter out a quiet ‘thank you’ before trying his knife skills out once more. Despite your momentary embarrassment, you are sure to take sneaky peaks at Hyunjin to make sure he was handling himself well. You move on from chopping and turn your attention to seasoning the chicken while Hyunjin was still focused on the vegetables, going at a leisurely place which you much preferred in this case. 

The rest of cooking goes on in silence aside from the occasional instruction or question, small witty jokes, and touches that seemed to linger more than necessary, but perhaps that was your imagination. Once everything was done, you both sat across from each other, admiring the fruits of your shared labor that was now plated in front of you both. 

“It looks really good!” Hyunjin comments enthusiastically, a wide, toothy grin spreading across his face. 

“It does, right? Let’s eat!”

Neither you miss a beat, taking a huge bite of the udon noodles, letting out a delighted groan over just how flavorful the food was. “Woah,” Hyunjin groans out, surprise at how well tonight had gone thus far with the added victory of food, “Holy shit, this is so yummy.”

“Mhmm,” you mumble out between slurping noodles, “This is better than when I make it on my own.”

“It’s the Hyunjin special that you’ve been missing this whole time,” he says matter-of-factly with a smug smile.

“You’re being pretty bold for a guy who just learned how to hold a knife today,” you tease, playfully sticking your tongue out. Your eyes catch each other for a moment between your fits of giggles, time stopping for the briefest second possible before you both avert your eyes out of nerves. What was that? You thought frantically to yourself, suddenly hyper aware of the strange warmth in your stomach that was also accompanied with the feeling of your stomach dropping. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one you didn’t know how to explain or ever experienced before, but you did know you didn’t want that combination of symptoms again for whatever emotion this was. You clear your throat, taking a sip of water as if it would wash away the discomfort, “I guess we are pretty good, huh? Maybe our acting project has hope if we are able to work this well together,” you joke, a very poor, if not disastrous, attempt to alleviate the awkwardness that seemed to follow you everywhere these days.

Your words stab Hyunjin in the heart, the guilt he had once forgotten was knocking at the door of his heart, forcing itself in without his permission. His entire demeanor deflated the moment those words left your lips, his heart writhing at the reminder that the only reason this situation existed was because of him and his blinding stupidity. Yet, here you are, warmly inviting into your home and treating him as if he was an old friend of the past, as if he had never wounded you and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was deserving of any of this. He stood still, gulping down his food before faintly whispering a hushed apology.

“I’m sorry.”

Your head snaps back up, your eyebrows furrowing with worry once you sense the sadness lacing his trembling voice, his head now turned downwards as if he was trying to mask his state. Perhaps the joke was a little too soon, you thought, now it being your turn to feel bad. “Ah, Hyunjin, I’m sorry-” you apologize hurriedly, “It was just a joke, please don’t take it too seriously. I’m sorry.”

He forces a smile, waving his hand as if to tell you to not worry about it, the words at the forefront of his tongue, but caught in his throat due to the heaviness sinking in his chest. Once again, shame paralyzed his body, the warm sensation behind his eyes reminding him to blink, reminding him he shouldn’t be so selfish in his pain when he was the cause of so much discomfort. Was any of this okay? Was any of this right? He wonders to himself, still unable to find forgiveness within himself. 

“Hyunjin,” you speak tenderly, your hand reaching across the table to touch his arm, grounding him back in the present, “I promise, it’s okay.” You knew that last bit was a lie, but it was for his own sake and comfort at this point. His treatment, his behavior, his attitude – none of it was ever okay, but you decided to ignore your own feelings and prioritize his. For the first time in two years, you cared about how he felt, you finally cared how your words harmed him, when before all you ever aimed for was a strike to his heart, but today, you chose to comfort his heart that your words unintentionally wounded. Although, your own heart and conscience briefly argued for a moment, one wanting to tend to his hurt, while the other demanded you let him rot in his misery, insisting he deserved it for what he had put you through. It was a tug-of-war you weren’t enjoying, you had almost wished you two remained in your heated hatred for one another and that nothing ever changed. Despite what your mind screamed at you, you chose to listen to your heart, you chose him over yourself.

He takes a deep breath in, trying to collect himself before speaking, “I just–,” a heavy exhale escapes him, “I’m just sorry. I just feel really, really, really bad for everything, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to feel bad when I was the one to hurt you.”

His eyes met yours, the glassiness of his eyes conveying the depth of his guilt, “Oh, Hyunjin,” you whisper apologetically, “Listen, I won’t lie to you, what you did was shitty. You did hurt me, but that is in the past. You feeling bad about it means you’re a good person, right? It means you’re human and that you care, but I don’t want you to let your guilt overwhelm you either.”

It was a genuine response in a moment of sudden vulnerability, your response taking him aback, but the words temporarily placating his never ending thoughts, “I guess, but… I don’t know if I can forgive myself,” he mumbles.

“You don’t have to yet, but you can learn to eventually,” you reply, “I understand it’s hard, and even I still need more time to do that myself, but I do think you deserve to be kind to yourself.” None of that was a lie, you did truly believe he was deserving of his own compassion, but his culpability helped you see the humanity in him. The spitefulness you once knew him for nowhere to be found, but instead there was only a guilt-ridden man who carried a world of humiliation. “I think I can learn to do so soon, too. Spending time with you helps. Besides, I did miss being friends with you if I’m being honest.”

The last sentence causes him to perk up, a small, satisfied smile playing onto your lips, “Really?” he asks, his ears barely believing your words, but his heart was swelling with hope. His eyes search yours, he can’t help but notice how they glimmer under the soft lowlights of your home, and for some reason, he finds warmth and comfort in them. He knows he can trust you, he knows you are being as candor as possible.

“Really, I mean it.”

“I missed it too.”

“Well, I’ll do my best to learn to trust you again. I’ll learn to forgive you eventually, just for now, it still hurts.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll learn too.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

taglist: @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @vixensss @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba taglist cut off at 20 people :)

[lemonade4wanda]

Anyone other than you

Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆

Summary- You and your supposed "enemy" get stuck in a cupboard while on a duo mission

Warnings- violence, gunshots, emo Wanda, mean Wanda, forced proximity, claustrophobia, confusion, not proofread!!

A/n - I dont know whether I hate this tbhhh idk whether it's because it took me sm breaks to write it but it feels off idkk

You entered the quinjet while sighing to yourself. How did you let this happen? You thought as you buckled on your seatbelt. Getting put on a duo mission with the one woman on the team who hates your guts. Wanda Maximoff.

You never had any idea what you'd done to make her despise you so much but nothing you ever did seemed to make up for it. Everytime you spoke in a meeting you could feel her stare digging into your soul. The way she'd scowl when she entered what she'd presume to be an empty room only to find you inside. She'd always mumble something in a language you didn't understand before flouncing out the room. Things weren't any better when you were part of a group with her either. She'd barely respond if you asked her something or flat out ignore you.

It wasn't like you hadn't tried to get along with her either, trying to be as friendly with her as you were with everyone else. Offering to make her food, help her with household chores or help out with her mission reports but nothing you did ever seemed to stop her from glaring at you. She wasn't known to be the most outgoing person but you never saw her act this way with anyone else so eventually you gave up deciding it best to ignore her the way she did you.

Now, unfortunately you didn't have that luxury anymore. You'd begged and begged Tony not to put you on this duo mission even contemplating getting ill to avoid it. He had insisted you had to go on this mission apparently you and Wanda had the 'specific' skills skillset for this mission, whatever that meant you knew he was just bullshitting to get you to shut up.

So now here you were getting ready to set off on your two day long stealth mission with the girl who could barely stand to look at you let alone talk and work with you.

☆

You'd arrived at the hotel room you'd be sharing with Wanda and thanked God that you'd got their first and the fact there was two beds. Quickly you threw down your bag on the bed closest to the window and began to check out the rest of the hotel room.

You were smelling the soaps in the bathroom when in clomped Wanda, her doc Martins still managing to make some kind of noise over the soft carpeted floor. She was dressed in a long baggy grey sweater and black skirt with patterned fishnets. Her hands adorned with rings and her short bitten at nails painted black.

"It smells of smoke." She thinks out loud without noticing your precense in the room.

"Yeah sorry about that it's my new signature perfume." You try to joke hoping she might happen to be over her constant anger with you. You study her face through the bathroom mirror as you speak watching out for her reaction. At first you see the possibility of a smile forming on her face and a rosy colour on her cheeks but quickly it's replaced by her signature scowl and a disgusted noise sneaking past her lips.

"Oh. You're here." She talks as if she'd expected someone else to be here despite the many debriefs you'd had together about this mission.

You for one had had enough of her attitude around you acting as if you were something below her. "Yes I'm here like it or not. Can we at least just be civil for the sake of this mission." You groan while walking over to where she's stood, raking your hands through your hair. In response she grumbled out some kind of agreement and that was it.

So far things had been going fine, you'd both kept to your own routine with minimal communication between the two of you. For the most part you'd spent your time exploring the hotel you were staying in. It was cheap and smelt damp. You for sure would be complaining at how you got booked in this dingy one star place once this mission was over. You'd been excited originally as the hotel advertised having a twenty five metre indoor swimming pool which was plenty to keep you occupied however when you inquired at the desk the receptionist, who'd been ignoring you stood there for ten minutes while she read her magazine, told it was shut indefinitely.

Eventually you had to return to the room and when you did Wanda was already fast asleep on her bed, small snores sounding occasionally. You took note of how pretty she was when she wasn't scowling before sliding into your own bed for the night.

☆

You'd done the first half of the mission with relative ease, you and Wanda putting a side your differences for the greater good. Now it seemed as if things were taking a turn for the worse. Upon arrival you'd both scouted the building for any kind of agents or security around the building but found none however now it seemed the building was filling up with them. Two men following behind who you were attempting to fire at and run away from, which is much harder than Natasha makes it look in training.

From the whimper of pain which sounded sounded out and echoed down the corridor you assumed you shot one. This was your chance to lose them and Wanda realised that too as you both picked up the pace of your running.

Out of nowhere she grabbed your arm and dragged you inside a small dark box? No it can't be a box you thought as you looked above you and saw an empty clothing rail. It was a cupboard. Your eyes scanned around the little space you had while trying to avoid eyecontact with Wanda who was leaning over top of you with one hand next to your head against the wall of the cupboard to keep her upright.

Quickly the cramped and uncomfortable space became all too much for you. The lack of oxygen in there made you take shallow breaths and sweat pooled from your forhead. It felt like the walls were closing in. You should get out. No you had to. Trying to move to force yourself out startled Wanda who gripped onto your shoulder to avoid you both tumbling out and compromising your hiding place.

"What are you doing? Just stay still." She whispered angrily. Had her voice always sounding that good up close? At that thought a frown crossed your face and you briefly forgot how badly you needed to get out of this space you were entrapped in. It didn't make you completely forget though as you came to your senses and stopped thinking about how nice Wanda's voice was and remembered how your heart was thundering in your chest and you whole body ached to get out of this cupboard.

"Have to.. to get out." You breathe out, expecting some kind of rude response from her as your breathing further quickens and vision fogs up. Her actual response is nothing you'd ever thought you'd hear her say.

"Look at me y/n." She waits to make sure your making eyecontact with her before continuing. "Its going to be okay, this is all okay and this is nothing you can't do. Just focus on me not the four walls.." her voice was soothing and not completely unlike a lullaby. You still felt unsettled but nothing like before when you were desperate to get out. "Your gonna be fine." She says again as she takes your hand in her own gently squeezing it. The cool feeling of her silver rings against your sweaty palms helping further calm you down as your breathing once again becomes steady.

After a few minutes of silence where you just focus on your breathing and the feeling of Wanda's thumb rubbing against the back of your hand you begin to speak. "Thanks.. I know you don't really like me or anything but I appreciated that a lot."

"Its nothing really... also your stood on my foot." She tells you returning to her usual cold snappy voice. Quickly you moved your foot away muttering apologies as you did, unsure how long you'd been stood on her foot. "I don't hate you either. Well not really."

Your about to question her on why she acts this way around you if she really doesn't hate you but before you can she opens the cupboard door and you both stumble out thankful for the airy space around you. "Don't bring this up y/n." She says before leading the way out leaving you trailing behind a little confused. Was she mean? Did she hate you? Was that all for the mission?

[a-random-weeb]

Yandere Chuuya, Dazai, and Fyodor with a s/o who fight back and escape a few times. Quite rebellious?

Ignore this if you can't

I absolutely can!

TW: Fyodors one is incredibly dark, like, incredibly dark and disgusting, even I cringed while writing it. Ik yandere is supposed to be dark, but god, Fyodors is dark

Disclaimer: yandere stuff is never ok irl, I am not romanticising it. But always remember, as great as it is in fanfictions, it's definitely never ok in real life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

「 ✦ Chuuya ✦ 」

•He hates how rebellious you are

•He's trying to give you a life of luxury, why the fuck are you trying to run?!

•He tries to avoid physical punishment, but he will lose his temper sometimes and beat you til you pass out

•Dont get me wrong, when you wake up it'll be in his arms while he mutters apologies, planting butterfly kisses all over your face

•If you try to push him away while he's comforting you

•If he's being mean or beating you up, fair enough, but he's being nice you spoiled brat

•You get to sleep on the floor of the basement for a few days, and don't expect food

•He loves you, but he's gonna have to teach you manners

•By the time you're put of that basement, he ignores you, and keeps your hands tied together

•At least he's feeding you again, right?

•After a few days, he'll give you all the affection in the world

•He guilts you into staying, saying how much he loves and needs you, saying all he does for you and how ungrateful

✩°｡⋆⸜\✮☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★✩°｡⋆⸜\✮☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★✩°｡⋆⸜\✮☆

「 ✦ Dazai ✦ 」

•He loves how rebellious you are

•Not only is it amusing for him, it gets interesting. Your contouring/figuring out escape plans, punishing you, your wild spirt, he loves it

•He loves the look of horror on your face when you realise you failed and it's time for punishment

•If he does manage to break you, he'll be nicer

•But, since you insist on being disobedient, this is the treatment you get

•He mocks you while you're crying on the floor in misery

•He laughs, kicking you and being a total asshole

•He loves you, but you have to be obedient

♡.˖. ༶ °˙+•♡.˖. ༶ °˙+•♡.˖. ༶ °˙+•♡.˖. ༶ °˙+•♡.˖. ༶ °˙+•

「 ✦ Fyodor✦ 」

•He hates your disobedience

•He hurt you so much when you try to run, mocking you when you fail

•He already knows your plans, and already knows how he will stop you

•He'll starve you, and sometimes not even give you water

•If you piss him off too much or try to escape too many times/actually escape (Which he's definitely caught you and brought you back) he'll kill someone incredibly close you you, showing them their head

•If you've been incredibly bad, he might kill one of your parents or best friend and make you eat some of them, he'll force part of their brain or something disgusting down your throat as well as force you to drink some of their blood

•He won't give you a part of the body that could kill you, and he'll only do this if you push him over the edge. But tbh you're probably already too broken from his past punishments or killings of your friends for him to do this

•He might also r*pe you, as well as physically hurt you incredibly badly. He might stab the inside of your ear and make you feel pain (he'll only stab one ear, he doesn't want you deaf for convenience purposes. He's disgusting)

•The punishment I talk about is only after a few years, you've been nothing but bad and annoying and you push him over the edge

•He uses his psychology knowledge, he gives you the world, then takes it all away, then gives most of it back, then before you know it, it's gone again

•Fyodor is will treat you how you behave, if you're a good girl you'll have the world, if your bad... Well... Yeah... He'll make your life a living hell

✰★☆✧✰★☆✧✰★☆✧✰★☆✧✰★☆✧✰★☆✧✰

Apparently people are too nervous to comment on most posts, so I'll just say comment whatever the fuck you want idc, I'll probably even respond

[forevertoru]

cafe rekindle ~ koshi sugawara x reader

synopsis: after years of living in your hometown after graduation, one last glimpse of your past was enough to motivate you to finally give yourself the fresh start you needed. a new city, a new life. with the help of the people around you, you were able to accomplish your dreams and start your very own cafe. working in your own cafe means you meet lots of people, but one familiar face was enough to make the walls you built up over the years falter. 

chapter synopsis: love isn't always something that'll stay in our lives. accept it or not, people come and go if they see fit. even a picture perfect relationship with a sturdy foundation can come crumbling down. despite the hardships of losing someone you saw as "forever", don't let that stop you from accomplishing your ambition. but even new cities have familiar faces.

notes: i literally have no idea what i'm doing, this is my first time (in a while but we dont talk abt that) writing fanfic.. wish me luck. (wrote this bcuz i was listening to promise by laufey while reading angst fanfics)  

tags: angst (?), fluff (?), elementary school teacher, cafe owner, exes to lovers, second chance romance, slow burn, fem reader-oriented pronouns

warnings: swearing, reader smokes to deal with emotions, talks of mental health

word count: 3k

ch. 1 the end of the beginning & new beginnings

No one ever expects longevity from the relationships in our youth, in fact, it would be foolish to even expect something like that. From grade school, to high school, some would even argue college; it never becomes long term. 

You were always aware of that, so why did you see yourself getting married to the man you spent your high school and college years with?

A silly thought you planted in your brain; but who could blame you? He was the ideal partner. Patient, gentle, understanding, and so much more — even though you were still young and didn’t have much planned for adulthood, you made a vow to never let him go. 

You loved him with every single atom you had in your body, and perhaps you still do. After all, it isn’t easy to forget about a relationship you swore would’ve lasted a lifetime if it were under different circumstances. 

In all honestly, you weren’t quite sure what made you love him the way you did. Maybe it was the fact being around him just felt so.. easy. You never felt like you had to be a different person when you were with him.

To put it simply, he was the person who brought you comfort.

But even so, silly vows you make to yourself don’t really mean anything if you can’t make them a reality. Over the next few months, the happiness you thought would stay in your life forever gradually started to fade, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You know he didn't mean to fall out of love, at least that's what you wanted to believe. Not a bone in your body wanted to make him seem like a bad person, not when you still had so much love and respect for him.

Days before the breakup, you noticed he seemed a bit… different. He stopped holding your hands, stopped bringing you lunch, he couldn’t even bring himself to look you in the eyes. Yes, they were little things, yet, you still managed to notice them. 

You decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, telling yourself, “Maybe studying has him preoccupied” Trying to shake off whatever insecurity you were feeling. Looking back — maybe you should’ve asked him the first day you noticed, maybe then, things would’ve worked out.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚ 

When you felt his hand wrap around your wrist for the first time in days, guiding you to a place where the two of you could be alone and focus on the soon-to-be conversation, you knew it was the end of the relationship you tried desperately to keep in your life. 

Before he could even get a word out, you couldn’t help but notice the dryness in your throat, how your heart started to race in anticipation, and the tears in your eyes that threatened to spill.

From the look in his eyes, you could tell this was going to be the last day the two of you could call yourselves “soulmates”. 

Throughout your entire relationship, you always managed to keep your composure. You knew how to keep your emotions in check, therefore, you never cried in front of your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 

– Seeing tears in your eyes for the first time broke his heart.

 At that moment, he wanted to change his mind, take you in his arms, and promise he’d never let you feel this type of pain again. But despite the feeling he couldn't shake off, he knew deep within himself he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise. 

And before he could change his mind, the boy finally spoke.

“(name), no matter what, I’ll always have so much love for you.” The gray-haired boy started, and as he spoke, he couldn’t help but notice the look in your eyes. The way you looked at him with such hurt and confusion made it all the more difficult for him. 

“Before I say anything, you did nothing to make me feel this way” he spoke, taking your hands in his. “You’re an amazing girl, (name), you always have been and I’m sure you always will be.” 

As the words left his mouth and the emotion started to become prominent in his eyes, you noticed something in the way he looked at you — despite what his mind was telling him to say, in his heart, he didn’t want to lose you, and that made it all the more gut-wrenching. 

You felt so idiotic for thinking this relationship would last, but at the same time, it was such a shame to lose the person who you thought would've been a great lifelong partner. 

If you were being honest with yourself, you couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.

All you wanted to do was fall to your knees and beg him to stay an eternity with you, but from the tone that laced his words, you knew he would follow through with the separation no matter what.

“You deserve so much better and I-” It was almost embarrassing how he couldn’t keep his emotions in check anymore, his voice breaking as he wiped away the forming tears from his eyes with his shoulder. “I didn’t want this to end… If anything, you were the girl I wanted to marry. The girl I wanted to spend my life with, raise a family, and die with” 

The words that spilled out his mouth didn’t help in aiding your broken heart, they only made it harder and harder to keep the tears in your now glossy eyes.

Without a second thought, your mouth opened and you blurted something out. “Are you breaking up with me?” your lip quivered as your eyes scanned his face for an answer. 

It was a stupid question, but it was the only thing on your mind.

The boy was caught off guard by your sudden bluntness. It was a simple yes or no question, but, by the way you spoke, it just made breaking up even harder for him. 

The way you looked at him in such despair was enough for him to finally break eye contact, causing him to shift his gaze onto the ground.

Maybe it was the guilt that caused the boy to go nonverbal for a few seconds — an internal conflict between his heart and mind. You were everything he could ask for, yet, he knew he couldn’t give you everything you needed. 

After what seemed like a century of waiting, with a shaky voice, six words finally fell from his mouth. 

“I think we should break up..” 

And there they were – the words you were dreading to hear. Before you even noticed, the tears you were desperately holding back started to fall from your eyes, streaming down your cheeks and hitting the concrete the both of you stood on. 

It didn’t take long for him to notice the drops of water falling from your eyes, and once he took notice of the tears, his hand found its way to your face, his palm cupping your cheek as he wiped away your tears with his thumb. 

It was as if he wasn’t the reason for the tears. As much as you wanted to scream, telling him not to touch you, to leave your sight and never talk to you again after this, you just couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. 

Everything in your mind was telling yourself to hate him, to loathe his very being. Yet, despite all the hurt he was causing you at this very moment, you still couldn’t see him in a negative light.

Tear after tear fell from your eyes – It was almost pitiful. To you, it felt like you were crying for nothing. You felt stupid for being so affected by this, foolish to be this hurt over a relationship. 

You were in your own little world, caught up in your thoughts, struggling to come to terms with the “sudden” breakup. Trying desperately to grasp the reality of the situation, a familiar warmth seemed to wrap around you.

The boy’s arms held you as you cried, in an attempt to calm your emotions. 

In the moment, as you noticed his arms around you, it almost felt like he was trying to mock you. He had the audacity to try and provide you comfort when he was the cause of the emotional turmoil. 

You stood there for a while, your hands curled into balls, and all you felt was anger. You told yourself you didn't need his sympathy. 

That anger didn’t last long though, it was soon replaced with despair.

Your own arms soon wrapped around the boy’s frame as the tears from your eyes stained his shirt. You found yourself sobbing in his arms, trying to seek the comfort he would always provide for the very last time. 

As your face stayed buried in the gray-haired boy’s chest, he placed his chin on top of your head as his hand rubbed your back. The sound of your muffled sobs made him feel horrible. The guilt of hurting you was unbearable, he felt like such an asshole for doing this to a sweet girl like you.

After some time, the boy finally pulled away. He looked at you for what could be the last time.

As he pulled away and looked at you, he couldn't help but lean in and press a soft kiss on your forehead, as if a silent apology for all the pain he was provoking in this very moment. 

That kiss left you with a conflicting feeling. Every atom in your body wanted to feel anger, you wanted to slap him with your hardest blow. Yet, the kiss brought you unexpected comfort. 

— As much as you wanted to stay in his arms for however long you could, you took a step back, wiping away your tears. 

With a shaky voice, you finally spoke. “I understand” was all you managed to mumble.

He wished you could’ve said more, he hoped that you didn’t hate him and that one day you’d be able to forgive him, but he understood as well, he knew you weren't fond of talking whilst experiencing high emotions. He understood well enough to let you walk away without another word.

Maybe that was Koshi Sugawara’s biggest mistake.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚ 

From talking for hours on end to walking past each other in the halls. 

It hurt to become so distant from someone who knew everything about you, from two people who claimed to have so much love for each other to strangers.

It felt like a mockery to see Sugawara somewhere on campus, each encounter with him was like a constant reminder of the breakup and the emotions that came with it. 

You tried to avoid Sugawara on campus whenever you could for your sanity, but, going to the same school made it impossible to even attempt. Enviably, you crossed paths with Sugawara occasionally, and every single time you did, you felt your heart break a little.

Before you could even realize it, your mental health began to worsen as the months seemed to drag on. You couldn’t commit to your studies and found yourself slacking off on assignments. And in return, your grades began to plummet. 

It started to feel almost impossible to even focus during lectures, your mind always seemed to be focused on something other than what was being said by the professors. You almost always fell asleep during your classes since you had never gotten the proper amount of sleep the previous night or couldn’t bring yourself to listen to the lecture. 

A period in your life where you avoid talking about it as if mentioning it would bring death upon you. A time in your life when you were at an all-time low; skipping your lectures, laying in bed all day, neglecting your chores.

Smoking was the only thing that brought you comfort during these times. You were well aware of the risks that came with smoking, but the desperation of wanting to escape reality got to you.

But as the days turned into weeks, with the help of the people you had around you, you had found your spark again.

You had finally found yourself once again and you couldn’t be more proud of yourself. Though you weren’t proud of the addiction that came along with it, you can’t change what already had happened. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

– Before you knew it, it was the day of your graduation.

 It was more fulfilling than you had imagined, you couldn’t help but shed tears of joy. You were genuinely so proud of yourself, just a few months ago, you thought you’d never make it here. 

You stood patiently as you waited for your name to be announced.

From around ten people in front of you to only one person. Soon you were next to be called on stage to finally complete this hellish nightmare you were eager to escape. 

You felt your heart beat in anticipation as your hands started to sweat, you couldn’t wait for all the opportunities that were ahead of you. You had always dreamed of opening your very own cafe with recipes you perfected. 

The very second they called your name to walk on the stage, you couldn’t help but tear up. You walked up onto the stage and accepted your diploma with a smile on your face, you shook everyone’s hand and headed back to your seat.

And that’s when the realization finally hit, you were finally done with your college years; you were finally an adult. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

An average day for you after college was you inviting a friend over during the evening and having them taste and critique whatever you had made. Then, the following day you’d try again with less or more of a certain ingredient and then have your friend try it again to see what they’d say.

Baking wasn’t a cheap hobby you could do whenever you pleased.

With that understanding in mind, you took up a job as a cashier at a nearby fast food place just a walk around from your house. 

It’s been like this for a few years now, and you were content with this lifestyle. Of course, there would be times when the stress of not being able to perfect something would get to you, but all it took was a cigarette to calm you down and you were back to figuring out what you should try adding to a recipe next. 

Baking wasn’t much of a clean hobby either, after each session you had to clean. As you were cleaning your kitchen, reorganizing whatever was in there, you realized you were starting to run low on certain ingredients for your pastries. 

Looking at the time, you realized the grocery store was about to close. Panicked, you grabbed your wallet, phone, and house keys before sprinting out the door so you could have a decent amount of time to browse the shelves. 

Luckily, you made it with an hour to look around and decide if you wanted to purchase an item or buy it another time.

After almost an hour, you headed to the self-check-out, scanned your items, paid, and left the store. 

Unfortunately, you didn’t own a car, so that left you to just walk from place to place. You didn’t mind though, you liked walking, it was therapeutic to you. Surrounded by the orange sky, you headed home with earbuds in both ears, playing whatever songs were in your playlist. 

As you entered your neighborhood, you were more than ready to just settle down on your couch and watch the new episode of the current show you were watching. Nearing your apartment, you glanced up from your phone and nearly dropped all the bags you were holding.

Just outside of your apartment complex stood a familiar boy, seemingly looking for someone or something. 

For a while, you just stood still, looking at the figure in disbelief. 

And just like that, it was like you were reliving college all over again. The feelings you swore were gone and you’d never feel again suddenly came rushing back to you, hitting you like one big wave of the ocean.

“Koshi..?” You whispered to yourself as tears began to well up in your eyes. You couldn’t understand why he was outside of your building or how he knew where you lived. 

You had replayed this exact scenario in your head about a million times, so why were you suddenly freezing up?

It was naive, but a part of you believed he wanted to apologize to you for what had happened in college and finally give you closure, and maybe, just maybe, rekindle the spark the two of you once had. 

The cold air of the evening blew against your body as you felt your body heat up, breaking into a cold sweat, it was almost embarrassing how nervous you were getting, you hadn’t even approached him yet.

Before you could ever make the decision, he made that decision for you. The figure that stood in front of your apartment building turned to face you, and that's when you realized, it wasn’t Sugawara, but rather, a stranger. 

Right then and there, that’s when you decided you couldn’t live in this city anymore.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

Just seeing someone who resembled him in the slightest was enough to send you spiraling. Alone in your one-bedroom apartment, the only sound that filled the area was your muffled sobs.

You sat in the corner of your bedroom, knees against your chest, head down as you felt all the memories from high school up to college come rushing back to you. 

The desire of wanting to escape the city that was filled with reminders of why a portion of your college years turned bitter and acting on impulse don't mix well.

After seeing that boy outside of your building just a few moments ago, you didn’t waste a second booking a one-way flight to a different city that left the next day. 

It felt somewhat childish, still being bothered by things that happened to you years ago. Even so, you couldn’t stand staying in this city a day longer. 

It wasn’t long after you started packing your things, saying goodbye to the place that was your home for years now. You felt emotional, and rightfully so. You had to leave your family and friends without a goodbye since this was out of the blue, but this is what you needed the most, a fresh start.

The following morning, you made your way straight to the airport, unable to stay another moment in that apartment. Without a second thought, you left your key at the front desk and left without looking back.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

Who knew after moving out of your old city, you’d finally be able to accomplish your dream. With the help of the new people you had met, you were finally able to open your own cafe. 

For the first few months that you lived in this new city, there was this feeling of uncertainty you couldn’t shake off. Maybe it was the fact you were completely isolated from everyone else.

Moving to a new city meant you had zero friends, but that issue didn’t last long. As the days passed, you eventually met people who happened to have the right skills to help you open your cafe.

Of course, starting a business isn’t a cheap investment by any means. The cost of simply purchasing the building was more than expensive. Along came interior design, painting and flooring, lighting, storage, equipment, and ingredients. 

A year-long process, but it was worth the wait in your eyes.

It was a hassle and almost put you in debt, but once everything came together, you had no regrets. You were beyond proud of yourself, you never thought you’d be able to come this far; yet, here you are. 

Now, the only thing that remained was the name of the cafe. Though you’ve dreamed of this moment since the day you finished college, you never thought of a name. 

With the help of some friends, a name was finally decided.  

Soon, Autumn cafe was now open to the public. Since your cafe was located in a somewhat popular location in the city, it didn’t take long for the cafe to become a success. 

You felt more than accomplished, you never thought your own business would reach this amount of success in such a short amount of time. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

It’s unexpected for the owner of a business to work in said business. But hiding in plain sight was such a clever way to monitor what was going on in the cafe.

What made it all the more fun, the people you work with don’t know you own this establishment.

It’s a great thing you weren’t present during job interviews, or else this wouldn’t have worked out for you.

You worked as the cashier in your own business, but you didn’t mind. It kept you busy and saved you money as well, it was a win-win. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

10:27 am. It was somewhat of a slow day today, given it was a school day and most of your customers were college students. There were only 5 customers in the store right now, just enjoying the silence of the cafe and eating or drinking whatever they ordered. 

You sat behind the counter reading about whatever drama was currently ongoing. Both your earbuds were plugged in so you couldn't hear whether or not someone came in, but you didn’t care. Rarely anyone came in at this time anyway.

You enjoyed days were work was slow, and you & your coworkers could relax once and a while, you guys enjoyed these moments whenever they were given. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

As you were bickering with your co-workers, one of them pointed behind you, mouthing there was a customer wanting to order.

Panicked, you quickly rushed to the counter, your head down due to embarrassment. “Hello welcome to autumn cafe, what can I get started for yo-“

As your eyes found their way to the person in front of you, you felt your heart drop to your stomach as you realized who it was that stood just in front of you. 

Koshi?  

[edelgard-more-like-baedelgard]

I dont know who she is, would you like to infodump? (Regarding your new pfp and header)

Alright anon, I'm finally ready and I just have to warn you that you've brought this on youself <3

All those girls are from a game called Honkai Impact 3rd, which (ignoring the problems inherit in all games unfortunate enough to be gacha) has some of my favorite characters and one of my favorite video game stories EVER. Part 1 of the story, which features these girls, finished like... 3 years ago? And they have not released me from the brainworms for a single fucking second.

Pfp girl specifically is the main character of Honkai Impact, Kiana Kaslana. Now, the other 2 girls in my header with Kiana are just as heavily entwined with the story, but the purple haired girl, Sirin, is particularly Extremely Fucking Important to Kiana as a character and her whole backstory and character progression we see in-game so we WILL be talking about her specifically as well. However, due to Kiana being the main character and her story being so heavily entwined with 90% of the lore this also means I kinda have to explain big chunks of the game, so uh... have fun reading the massive essay I'm about to write lmao.

To start off, Honkai Impact is an AU of the real world where humanity is constantly under threat from an extradimensional force called "The Honkai" which can do everything from irradiate you in its base form of Honkai Energy, create Honkai Beast monsters to kill you, or create natural disasters (The Honkai canonically created the Black Plague in an effort to kill humanity in Honkai Impact's alternate history). Figuring out how to survive/eventually finally defeat whatever the Honkai throws at humanity next and the Honkai as a whole is the central conflict of the setting.

Now I'm gonna start with a general overview and then go into details from there.

Kiana

Enter: Kiana Kaslana.

At the point in the timeline the story starts, Kiana is an orphan who is training as a enhanced warrior called a "Valkyrie" with a secretive paramilitary group called Schicksal that is dedicated to responding to Honkai related threats. The principal of the school is a woman who knew her father and has promised to tell Kiana his wherabouts if she manages to complete her training AND get promoted to an A-Rank Valkyrie (The ranks don't particularly matter as far we're concerned with the wider lore but in the beginning this is particularly important for Kiana in her search for why her Dad abandoned her, even people in-universe question how good a system it actually is. All you need to know is they go D, C, B, A, S and A-Rank generally means "Powerful competent fighter" and S-Rank means "This person could challenge the strongest Honkai manifestations solo"). She starts very much your usual spunky hot-headed anime protagonist type girlie, constantly talking back to/ignoring authority figures, one of her very first scenes is her ignoring orders to instead run over to team up with her girlfriend one of our other main characters, Raiden Mei.

As the story moves forward and the larger plot begins to take shape around her, we see how despite this overconfident, carefree attitude she displays to everyone else, most of it is truly a front. A hurt girl who never knew her mom, was abandoned by her dad, and had to wander the world from ages 12-16 (until she met Mei) on her own searching for an answer to why she wasn't good enough for her dad to stick around. A hurt girl who desperately clings to the only thing her dad left her, which was the oath of the Kaslana family to defend the world from the Honkai even at the cost of their own lives, something which comes back to majorly bite her in the ass as it fuels her self-sacrifical tendencies to throw herself at danger believing she needs to try and save the world all on her own. Her relationship with Mei becomes a major part of her life, with her saving Mei's life after they met and both of them growing extremely close, and their relationship evolves and matures along with them.

Another major part of her early story arc is realising that she has the power of one of the Honkai's most powerful manifestations within her. That of a human-turned-demigod called a "Herrscher". And comes to see herself as the cause of the world's (and specifically her loved one's) misery after the Herrscher inside her takes control, causes a global disaster, and forces her to watch as the Herrscher fights and kills her teacher/mother figure Himeko Murata, but not before Himeko helped Kiana begin regaining control of her body. Over the next several arcs we see her go through suicidal depression (to the point of actually almost killing herself at one point) in the wake of her teacher's death, begin learning how to control her powers, and start to become suicidally self-sacrificial in an effort to redeem herself by saving the world on her own. Honestly you could probably get some pretty good detailed analysis from this part of her story about depression and how some people will find ways to hurt themselves that aren't the obvious things like cutting or starving themselves. Instead Kiana is going to use what little time she has left to be a hero even if it kills her faster. Even if it's obviously paining Mei with how much she loves and wants to protect Kiana.

One of the best story arcs in the game is when this all comes to a head. She's left her friends after regaining control of her body and been on the run for 4 months, she's helped stop a city from being destroyed by a Honkai radiation bomb at the cost of her own health, and due to how much Honkai energy that blast made her absorb, has travelled to the destroyed city where she first met Raiden Mei and her bff Bronya Zaychik to die alone. When it comes to Mei's importance to Kiana the writers spare no effort in making sure you know THEY ARE GAY. THEY ARE IN LOVE. In every way that won't get them censored by the CCP again (they already had to remove and change around some dialogue after being too blatant with the lesbianism, though they still kept in 1 line where someone does straight up call Mei Kiana's girlfriend). The way their characters entertwine with each other and the way their relationship grows is so so satisfying to watch.

Now needless to say, their relationship in the beginning while very sweet and extremely gay, was not the healthiest. Mei became extremely codependent on Kiana which was now conflicting with Kiana's insistence on sacrificing herself for the good of the world. A new antagonist that was introduced when Kiana saved that city from the Honkai gives Mei an out. A way to save Kiana from herself. I think this convo right here perfectly illustrates where they're at at this point and how Mei is getting pushed further and further to being willing to take an extreme option to stop Kiana:

So Mei takes this other option that could lead to a peaceful life for Kiana and this inevitably leads to conflict between the two and eventually a physical fight in one of the best boss sequences in the game from a story perspective imo, with a weakened and dying Kiana still desperately trying to stop a now much more powerful Herrscher of Thunder Mei from leaving her and Mei literally slicing apart flashbacks to how her and Kiana met and grew close that appear on screen. And also leads to this iconic line:

This whole event with the most important person in her life seemingly turning on her in order to stop her basically knocked some sense in Kiana. After the initial shock and depression passed, we get to spend several chapters watching Kiana learn to start relying on her friends and family more instead of trying to shoulder everything alone, and she is even able to save one of her close friends from sacrificing herself because "This is my mission" just like she was doing when Mei went to extreme lengths to stop her. She slowly begins to brighten up again. Now, of course she doesn't return to exactly how she was at the beginning of the game, but we see a return to a Kiana that smiles, cracks stupid jokes again, but also has moments of deep reflection where she shows she really has gained a deeper understanding of herself and how she had been hurting those around her with her self-sacrificing and has formed a more solid base for her philosophical beliefs and her goals. She becomes confident again, not just in herself but in her friends and family and their ability to overcome any obstacle together. And this includes Mei. During the culmination of this new arc, of watching Kiana come into her own and mature, of seeing her learn how to approach her goals of saving the world in a healthier way, she says several times that she's never held what happened against Mei. That she understands why she did what she did, and that if nothing else, it makes her still hold an unconditional trust in the woman even when others consider her a traitor.

They even have a sweet scene together when connected by their powers when Mei shows up to help Kiana reaffirming that they still want to support each other even if they can't fully have that reconcilliatory talk right here and now.

Kiana, as someone who has become a leader in humanity's fight against humanity, learned to shoulder these burdens with support rather than alone. As well as accepting her past and what that means for her moving forward, embracing the legacy her teacher left her and gaining even more power in THE best cinematic in the ENTIRE game, no shot, don't even question me. It brings together Kiana's entire character arc and besides being her learning to embrace what her power means as a hope for the future also draws multiple parallels between her and her teacher, Himeko as her fire powers are both literal as well as symbolic of how she's inherited Himeko's flame (i.e. her hope for Kiana and her trust in her student's ability to change the world).

As well as the symbolic nature of the way she uses her friends powers throughout the fight instead of only her own.

Her new form she gains is literally called the "Herrscher of Flamescion" which might be a rather obvious mashing together the Herrscher of Flame and "scion" but it does its job and she looks fuckin awesome while doing it.

If anyone says another cinematic is better than Everlasting Flames, they're fucking lying, the only thing that even comes close is Lament of the Fallen, the animation for Mei beating Kiana into the ground in a bout of lesbian angst.

Anyways, after that peak the writing kinda falls off imo but that's a whole other thing to talk about in a different post, I still mostly love all of Part 1. After this culmination of Kiana's entire story arc and finally reuniting with Mei, she takes it a step further and fights god alongside her girlfriend and best friend, finally achieving her goal of saving humanity from the Honkai by becoming the literal Goddess of the Honkai. Now, there's so much I could go into with just how much this probably fucks her up that in order to save humanity she has to shoulder being the only one to remain inhuman and seperated from them, but this is supposed to be In General so I will save it for later. The Goddess of Earth is where she stands today, after all those trials and tribulations and watching her grow every step of the way. Playing through the hours and hours of this game and watching this character development (alongside Mei and Bronya's own, I could do another entire essay like this just about Mei) Kiana is just so... idek how to put it in one word. Inspiring, I guess? To watch her go from the literal rock bottom of her life to gaining a circle of friends and family that give her the strength to take on the burden of being a lonely god. Honkai Impact quite literally ends with Kiana winning throug the power of friendship, but instead of making me cringe it has shot her up to one of my favorite characters of all time, because for the most part the writing in Honkai Impact is Pretty Fuckin Good and with how long you spend with her on this journey you get very attached.

Sirin

You see, one of the other major plot points of Honkai Impact is that the Honkai has an intelligence behind it that will every so often select a human with enough Honkai resistance and usually some animosity towards humanity to concentrate Honkai energy around and transform them into a "Herrscher". Now with Kiana I briefly mentioned this, how each Herrscher becomes basically a demigod capable of bending reality/breaking the laws of physics and each can generally do this in dangerous ways, but with Sirin we're gonna be going into more detail. Each Herrscher also has a specific specialty such as the 3rd Herrscher controlling electricity/lightning/electromagnetism or the 2nd Herrscher controlling "The Void", which manifests as her being able to open portals between two points and shift into other dimensions n shit, all that jazz, she's breaking the laws of space all over this bitch. Kiana's backstory specifically revolves around the 2nd Herrscher.

The Herrscher of the Void becomes an ever present antagonist for Kiana as her power is within her and the Herrscher begins to invade her dreams and tease her with bits of info about her past, her parents, how she was orphaned, until she drives Kiana to a point of mental spiralling that she can take over Kiana's body.

And here's where we talk about the purple-haired girl. Sirin. The Herrscher of the Void before Kiana ended up with her abilities. Her full story is told in a fucking EXCELLENT manga Mihoyo published called Second Eruption and I have read it multiple times at this point.

Sirin was also orphaned as a child. Though later we find out this was purposeful. You see, in order to further develop Honkai powered technology, including the implants that give Valkyries their enhanced abilities, Schicksal needed to experiment. Needed test subjects. And so children who had high Honkai resistance would mysteriously "disappear" or in Sirin's case, her mother would suddenly die of a mysterious illness so she could be taken in by Schicksal.

Schicksal then, of course, subjected all these orphans to horrifically painful experiments, injecting them with liquid Honkai and watching as it tore them apart from the inside so they could get more data on how it effects the human body until they died, which she shows to another one of Kiana's mentors, Theresa Apocalypse.

These events, of course, are what led to Sirin's deep seated anger and hatred towards humanity which led to the Honkai choosing her to be the next Herrscher.

Everything that comes after this is the named Second Eruption, as Sirin's awakening as a full Herrscher causes a massive spike in Honkai energy that manifests thousands of Honkai beasts and eventually kills most of Siberia's population due to the massive amounts of Honkai Radiation. Schicksal and their opposing faction called Anti-Entropy team up to fight back and this, including the First Herrscher, the Herrscher of Reason, who is also the first Herrscher to turn their back on the Honkai to help humanity instead. This manga also reveals that there is truly an intelligence behind the Honkai, with an entity they call the Will of Honkai guiding Sirin in her attempts to kill the Herrscher of Reason and wipe out humanity, an entity Sirin considers to be god, with her often calling herself a Holy Seraph or servant of God (there's a whole other conversation that can be had about how she was a child praying for salvation and the power to stop her suffering and the Will of Honkai used that spirituality to manipulate her into trading a physical cage for a metaphorical one). The Will of Honkai guides Sirin to four other dormant Herrscher cores on the moon, basically supercharging her, and Sirin puts a piece of these new powers into her friends' corpses, sort of resurrecting them as psuedo-Herrschers. While her dead friends each pick a city to decimate, Sirin starts chucking pieces of the moon at Earth and takes out several cities herself. To really hammer home how much damage she's causing, the manga even starts quoting the christian book of Revelation.

As for how all this relates to Kiana, well, for one thing both of her parents were involved in this. Siegfried Kaslana and Cecilia Shariac were both part of Schicksal and both deployed to Siberia to fight Sirin. Sirin stole a piece of another protagonist's power to create illusions and intended to trap both of them in a nightmare. However, instead, it looked at Sirin's true desires and instead created an illusion where the Honkai no longer existed, and the Kaslana family was all together and happy. Sirin was then pulled into it as Siegfried and Cecilia's daughter and Kiana's sister. This is probably one of the most important scenes in the entire manga because it's an encapsulation of everything Sirin's character is about.

A child who suffered horribly and lashed out at the world that had hurt her, but despite the pain she had inflicted in return, she was still just a young girl who- more than anything- wanted a peaceful life and a family that loved her.

And so she lets herself indulge, lets Cecilia take her clothes shopping, finally gets to just enjoy her childhood for a moment. Eventually her anger comes back and she lashes out once again, only to realise that Cecilia had never been tricked by the illusion and had known full well who Sirin was the entire time, yet still tried to treat her like her own daughter. It was through this moment that when Sirin was finally seriously wounded by Siegfried, Cecilia had used her own abilities to disperse the Honkai radiation around Siberia with her own blood to the point she would die soon, and the leader of Schicksal decided to bury Cecilia, Sirin, and everything that had happened with a barrage of Fission missiles, Cecilia hugged Sirin one last time and told her "I love you" in german. Ich liebe dich.

And now we circle back around to Kiana. Because the Kiana we know and play as in the story is not the real Kiana. You see, Sirin's Herrscher Core was damaged but still intact after everything was vaporised by the missiles. And so the Schicksal Overseer, Otto Apocalypse, took it and used it to create clones using the real Kiana Kaslana's and Sirin's DNA to make an artifical vessel because he wanted to utilise the power of the Herrscher of the Void for his own ends. And when he finally put the core into one of the clones after hundreds of failures one of them, K-423, achieved sentience.

This is the big twist of Kiana's character. Her consciousness isn't there by chance. Both her, and the Herrscher of the Void that fought her for control of their body are continuations of Sirin born from the Herrscher core in their body, with Kiana representing Sirin's desire for love, and her Herrscher of the Void persona being Sirin's continued hatred towards the world. This is also the reason Siegfried left her as a child. Siegfried turned on Schicksal for all the shit they'd done and attempted to steal Kiana away, however instead of his real daughter he got the Kiana clone with Sirin's core. He raised her for several years but eventually Sirin's hatred for him caused the Herrscher persona to awaken in a 12 year old Kiana. She promptly murdered a squad of Valkyries sent to take out Siegfried and recapture her, and Siegfried lost his left arm surpressing the Herrscher Persona. He then left Kiana by herself in order to avoid Sirin awakening again because of his presence.

For 25 chapters they struggle for control, and Kiana struggles to come to terms with the fact that she only existed to be a pawn, the being that her consciousness was derived from being the person that ruined the life of the real Kiana, wherever she was, and nearly destroyed the entire world twice, once while Kiana was stuck in her own mind only able to watch. It is in chapter 25, the same chapter the Everlasting Flames cinematic takes place at the end of, that she fully comes to terms with how she is tied to Sirin, how she doesn't have to let that past define her, but also how her goal to make the world a better place was now a promise to Sirin as well. The trials she overcame had also finally proven to the Herrscher of the Void persona that Kiana was capable of shouldering Sirin's memories and forging her own path, and she ceased fighting Kiana and allowed her uncontested control of the Herrscher of the Void's core (despite still not agreeing with Kiana's pov) before disappearing from her mind.

It is a very poignant moment, to finally have their conflict resolve through Kiana's view of Sirin going from hatred and considering her a monster that could only hurt people, to seeing Sirin for the hurt and traumatized child she had been and growing to sympathise with her instead despite their disagreement on how to handle humanity. And this then leads into the extremely fulfilling moment that is Everlasting Flames, which then leads into the bittersweetness of the girl who had been fighting for humanity, to have her own humanity acknowledged, to fulfill her promise to Himeko to give Earth's story a happy ending, becoming a lonely god. Trapped on the moon as she slowly siphons all Honkai energy off of Earth to finally give the people the peace she had fought for. Watching from afar while her family and friends make new lives for themselves without the Honkai, yet her life will now forever revolve around the Honkai, doomed to be an observer while everyone continues their growth without her. Sure they visit her and find ways to keep up communication with her, but it could never be the same as actually being there with them.

Tumblr won't let me put any more pics in this post but there's one moment that will always be stuck in my head forever, in the final cinematic of Part 1 called "Graduation Trip" showing Kiana walking through the peaceful life she's made for everyone with Mei until she steps away to assume the mantle of Herrscher of Finality, where she stares at her reflection, at the Herrscher of the Void looking back at her there, and asks if she has anything to say.

And instead of the usual disparaging comments, threats, or insults, Sirin tells her "You've done well."

The small smile Kiana has after those words carries sooooo much weight behind it it KILLS me every time I watch it.

Bianka

Last but not least there is the blonde girl in my header. Bianka "Durandal" Ataegina. I might keep this one a bit shorter because I can't add more pics and this post is already insanely long but she is too important to not say ANYTHING.

Long story short, Bianka is the real Kiana Kaslana after Otto kidnapped her, used her to make the clone Kiana we know as the MC, and wiped her memory before training her as a Schicksal Valkyrie under this new name she had chosen for herself. She was mentored by the Valkyrie who led the squad that was eventually killed by Sirin when attempting to apprehend Kiana and Siegfried. After this she formed herself into the model student, smart, attentive, extremely self-disciplined, the type of professional that people wonder why she has such a stick up her ass. She eventually became the youngest S-Rank Valkyrie in Schicksal history, choosing Durandal as her middle name after some inderdimensional shenanigans (there's lots of shit involving other dimensions and quantum physics in Honkai's story that I am NOT getting into here), which eventually becomes the name the public knows her by. By the time of the actual events of the game, Bianka is so strong she had become Schicksal's trump card plan against Herrschers as she was capable of 1v1-ing them without having any Herrscher powers herself. She's completely loyal to Otto for most of the game and as such becomes a bit of an antagonist for a little bit when she's sent to capture Kiana after she ran away following Himeko's death and clashed with Raiden Mei, who was also trying to bring Kiana back.

As the story progresses, the protagonists end up working with her at several points, but it's not until the final arc during the leadup to Kiana becoming Herrscher of Finality that events happen to confirm that she is the original Kiana. While the game could have done a lot better with how people react to this information, Bianka and Kiana do have a very sweet and emotional talk about themselves and this situation and eventually settle on considering each other sisters, Bianka not having any qualms with Kiana continuing on as Kiana Kaslana, as with her memory gone she has no real connection to the name, and prefers the legacy she has made for herself as Bianka Ataegina. It's at this point that white streaks of her original hair color start appearing in her Otto-modified blonde, which you might see around in fanart or official art/screenshots of her.

They also are able to both reunite with Siegfried, who readily accepts them both as his daughters, though Bianka is extremely awkwrd around him since she has no memory of him. It's with her family and her Totally Not Girlfriend Rita that we get to see through the professional facade and see Bianka acting much more like a loveable dork who can come off as a bit airheaded sometimes just like her sister when off the battlefield.

I'm not AS big on Durandal as I am Kiana and Sirin but I love them all v much. I think that's it for my way too long info dumping afgdaklghdskalghkljdasgask hopefully it's not too incoherent because I really am just rambling like I'm infodumping to someone standing next to me. I adore Kiana as a character and she will forever be one of my favorites of all time.

[ghoulishautism]

For specific reasons im not getting into right now, im rewatching classic FOP episodes, specifically the ones centered around Crocker

And I found out that in the Sparky Era (season 9 I think) they did a MAJOR retcon of Crocker's childhood to include Sparky in there- but they also butcher Kid Crocker's characterization?

Okay so look at him in "The Secret Origins of Denzel Crocker"

Blorbo bleebus. Literal cinnamon roll. Pupper. Whatever people said in 2014 tumblr

Here hes characterized as a kind and selfless boy that the town loves so much. He also clearly loves his Godparents.

Now look at this Crocker. Nearly the same design but now hes an asshole for no reason?? He doesn't even care to remember Cosmo and Wanda's names.

In the original Origin episode, we learn that Crocker's fairies got taken away after Cosmo (and Timmy through a well meaning but unlucky backfire) exposes the existence of fairies- causing him and everyone to forget literally everything. Like it wasn't enough to forget fairies exist, but Jorgen also had to erase all the good deeds Crocker ever did?? And he managed to write "Fairies exist" before getting memory wiped so hard he becomes permanently disfigured.

MEANWHILE in the Sparky Episode I dont care to remember the name of, Crocker turns 11 and then has his fairies taken away because "He can go to therapy now"

.

Girl HUH? What 11 year old can afford therapy? Especially in the 70s? What are you talking about? 11 is such a weird number too- its usually 13, right? Thats when you're no longer considered a kid anymore, right? What the fuck.

And I know its just a kids show, but if I saw this episode as a kid it would piss me off. Crocker's origin story was literally so important to me as a child- probably bc the way it was written just impacted me in a way where it left a lasting impression on how kid me viewed Crocker as a character. I could still laugh at his misdeeds with the background knowledge that he was once a happy and loved child.

This episode just...threw all that away just to shoehorn Sparky into relevancy. What the fuck.

[loloelia]

Hasnt it been a while since i posted art ?

Ive not been dead but ive been quiet ,with not art :p

I realy wanna try and post more art or wips or whatever i can !!!!

Dont count on me posting a lot ,but ill try my best!!!!

Lots of rambles down below !!!!

Alright im just gonna make some organisation stuff here

Fifth sibling

Im gonna take a while to make the first chapter because i always struggled with that , if wont be on Ao3 ,i wanted to try but i really just cant ,in my head ive been planning the story ,some plot point and while its not great its a start

Comic wise ,ill try and do some but dont hold your breath for them ,because i procrastinate a lot ,but im always trying m'y best to make stuff !!!! (The one i have planned will be first sent to my mutuals because i wanna stay safe on the internet ,and you never know!)

When its comes to normal art ,ive been thinking about some pieces ,for exemple one that id like to do that is inspired by a beautiful piece of my dear mutuals(sorry for the tag) @scared-lantern ,its Slight's sanctuary , while Eko doesn't have a temple ,nor cult ,ive been wanting to do a piece of a place they love to go to , i might also make some Narinder and Eko art because i havent talked much about these two despite them being quite interesting , one that i really have been wanting to do is about Shamura and Eko ,these two need to be talked about more !:D I might do some quick sketches of places that are important or that i like (eko's "room" in shamura's room ,and well shamura's room lmao ,might do leshy's temple too,maybe ,possibly)

The promises of death

(aka my basic au)

No writing planned for this one thank gods ,but i should talk about it more i think :p

I have a LOT of comics i want to do ,well like.... Around 3, but that's a lot to me! :^ one to show how its starts ,one for Narinder's developpement in the cult , lamb's relationship with everyone(forneus,chemach and everyone else !),and some other i forgot about but ill find them !

For art pieces ,i dont have anything ,those ideas come and go and i dont have a good memory ,but pieces might be posted sometimes or not idk :/ ill make some sketches of the cult grounds ,lamb's tent,the temple ,and the work room of the lamb !

Sweet ocs

By that i do mean Spooder, Snuggly,Hannah and Hazel ,no writing for them planned either , but i could talk about how they came to be if im bored enough

More comics !!!!!!! Spooder has quite a bunch of stuff weirdly enough ,one where this spider acts stupid and goes to learn about WTF ichor is (aka my excuse of why i dont draw his fourth pair of limbs), another one to explain how this kid managed to live for almost a thousand years , annnnnd one that's more about the state of the world after Narinder's tantrum,but Spooder is my only oc who was alive back then , also *ahem* @alllgator-blood you know what's coming for you 🫵(its been a wips for like .....6 month lmao) Snuggly too has some comics ,mostly him being a lil brat with everyone around him ,but maybe ill do one of his back story ,will do one for Hannah though , and id like to do one about the two interacting, now Hazel has only two comics as of now ,one about her meeting with kudaii and another of her being a angsty 17 year old lmao

Wow that's long

Maybe ill do some art piece mostly silly ones for fun so yeah :/ but ! I will do new ref sheets because the old one sucks ass>:(

Lives-long nightmare (aka my goat au)

HAHAHAH never talked about this one yet !!!!!!>:)

Ill try and write some info about the state of the world and stuff but nothing else i think:)

Two comics for now !!!!! One of goat and Narinder's equivalent in this world(i dont wanna spoil even if its obvious) and the other is about the goat travelling to the lamb's world !:)

Ill do a bunch of art for sure !!!! The designs first ,then Silly ones ,and a lot of stuff thatll come to me later

Also would you look at that one of my ocs made it and became important enough to make it to the story guess who ?.....yeah its Hazel she'll be important to the plot she wont be mentioned by name but shell be there.....well not alive but still here she might get some art and a few panels long comic about her and kuddai because thats what's important to the story.

Alright i think that's it !!!

I should be more active now !!!!

If i tagged you while you didn't want to tell me ill take it away :(

But that's it ive been nervous about this but now its posted so eh