#I said biiiiiitch

[kittenkes]

I pity the person who will have to deal with my out of context Key and Peele quotes.

[lovemybluebully]

It's For Science

This is just a little something I scrounged together, inspired by a post by @snugglyfluffle 😊

https://www.tumblr.com/snugglyfluffle/761535277842022400/since-logan-has-a-shorter-waist-then-wade-does-do?source=share

Damn, writer's block has been a biiiiiitch. I wrote a lot of this in the later hours of the night after my long workdays so sorry if it's nothing spectacular, or if there's any spelling/grammatical errors. 

Wade gets it into his head that maybe not all humans have the same number of rib bones. His logic being that since Logan has a shorter body then he may be an exception. Unfortunately for Logan this is far too ticklish of an experiment for him to bear.

A small bit of ticklish!deadpool at the end too. 😉

Warnings for foul language and other Deadpool-type stuff.

"Deadpool and Wolverine"-verse

ler!Wade/Deadpool x lee!Logan/Wolverine

ler!Logan/Wolverine x lee!Wade/Deadpool

M/M Tickle Fic

Word Count: 4,234

"The skeletal system is comprised of bones that give structure to the body and work with the muscles and joints to provide movement. The human body contains 206 bones….," the certified doctor on the television explained as he gestured to a replica model human skeleton while Wade sat watching on the couch.

"207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl, hehehe. Shit, I already made that joke in the movie. Well it's still true anyhow, am I right?" Wade snorted a laugh as he turned from his position on the couch with his hand up for a high-five, but found his roommate leaned back in the couch with his eyes closed and his hands on his lap.

It had been a nice lazy afternoon for the two of them and Logan had KO'ed quite a few beers as the monotone voice of the television host was making him doze off.

"Pssht! Old man can't stay awake for five minutes," Wade waved him off as he turned back to the tv.

"The ribcage has an important job in providing protection to some of the most vital organs being the lungs and the heart. There are 12 ribs on each side, making 24 in total…"

The merc blinked in curiosity as he sat up tall and now slowly began to feel up each side of his body to count the ribs within, having to dig in pretty thoroughly to get through the muscle.

"Hmm I'm only feeling 20 here….," he rechecked to be sure, finding all the ones leading up to his collarbone.

"The 11th and 12th pair of ribs are called 'floating ribs' because unlike all the others they are not attached to the sternum but are still attached to the backbone….," the doctor went on as he pointed to two pairs of ribs on the back area of the skeleton.

Wade's hands wound around to his lower back and found the missing pairs right where the doctor said they'd be.

"Huh. What do you know, he's right. I mean, duh!" He bopped himself on the forehead, "Of course he's right. He's a fucking doctor. Hey Wolvie, you're missing some interesting stuff here."

"Mmph," Logan only grunted in response, not even hearing what Wade had actually said as he started to drift further into fully passing out.

Wade then had a thought pop into his mind as he looked over at his near-comatose friend. Logan's torso was a lot shorter than his own so he wondered if it was true that all humans had the same number of ribs. The doc hadn't specified if it was possible to have less and Wade's hyper mind needed an answer right away.

"Hmm. I suppose I could just Google it to find out for sure, but nah! I prefer to do my own field study. Plus you all need a fun little fic to read, and I know Logan won't mind if it tickles just a teensy little bit. Commence Operation How-Many-Ribs-Does-A-Wolverine-Have."

He slid over and wiggled his fingers up in the air before placing them on the bottom of Logan's ribcage, pressing in gently to feel the first two ribs as the man immediately jumped and blinked his eyes open in a groggy daze.

"Whatistha….Wade? What-heheh-What're you doin'?" He batted at Wade's hands with very little accuracy from being half-asleep, giggles escaping him as the fingers moved up to the next set of ribs.

"Well if you had stayed awake Peanut, you would have seen this educational program I've been watching about the human body. They say there are 24 ribs in a human, but I was curious if it applied to all body heights. Being that you're a little shorter than me I wanted to see if you had the same," Wade explained his current lunacy as Logan started to wake up a little more though it took him a moment to really process everything that had been said.

"Huh? The fuck are ya-eheheheehee-Ribs? Course I do, dipshihihit. Now stohahahop it," he was unsuccessful in trying to block out Wade's hands as they continued up his sides.

"I sure will. Once I have verified the facts. Though I'm pretty sure this would go a lot quicker if you would just hold still," Wade smirked big time, knowing there was absolutely no way Logan could ever stay still for something like this when his torso was so ridiculously sensitive, "Okay looks like that's number 5…..and oh, there's 6…."

"How abohohout I c-count your teeheeheeheeth after I knohohock 'em outta your fuhuhuhucking head?" Logan chuckled hard, taking a half-hearted and easily dodge-able swing with his fist towards Wade.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, muffin cakes. Come on, this is a fun game. At least smile, would ya?" Wade teased, looking down at his friend while increasing the speed that his fingers wiggled around against his sides.

The X-man's grin had lit up his normally stoic face while he made many attempts to shove Wade's arms away, but those nimble fingers were practically glued to his sides.

"Of ahahahall the stuhuhuhupid-Eeeheheheheheheh! Stahahahap, ya mohohohoron! Thehehehey're all thehehehere!" Logan was giggling uncontrollably and sinking back into the couch cushions, trying to will his body to phase through and escape but there was only so much give that he was allowed.

Truthfully after the relaxing day he'd had and the keg of beer in his belly he found that he wasn't too bothered about Wade waking him up with his dumb experiment.

"How can I be certain? Got any proof? Any reliable witnesses to corroborate your case? Hmm? Perhaps you have an x-ray of your body to show me? A scientific essay conducted by a world renowned researcher? Any of those would be acceptable."

Logan obviously could only shake his head.

"N-Nohohohohoo, buhut I can cuhuhut myself opehehehen and-ahahahahaa-you cahahahan loohoohook for yoursehehehelf!" He released one claw from his hand as Wade gasped in horror and quickly grabbed his wrist to pin it to the couch with his knee.

"Ohhh no you don't. You're crazy if you think I'm gonna allow my precious little badger to cause himself any harm. Besides my method is way less messy. Just wish I knew why you find it to be so funny," he stated, playing dumb as Logan attempted to growl through his giggles, though the intimidation factor was completely lost.

"Yohohohou f-fucking knohow why I'm lahahahahaughin', ya ihihihihidiot!" He retracted the sharp blade back into his body, trying to squirm free, "Now gehehehet outta thehehehere, ohohor ehehehelse!"

The threats were in full effect, but the claws remained sheathed.

Wade recognized that Logan was in a more light-hearted mood than normal, and he wasn't going to let it go to waste. If he had woken up with murder on his mind then Wade might have been more inclined to back off sooner. But now that he had the green light it was on!

"Or else what? Doesn't seem like you're trying too hard to stop me," he called his bluff and grinned at how the man weakly pulled at his wrists with his one free hand and was trying to curl up in defense.

He knew Logan would be fighting him a lot harder than this if he was really as disagreeable as he wanted him to think.

Actually, Wolverine had a little secret he was keeping. He would die before admitting it out loud, but there were times he found that he actually enjoyed this. Yes, enjoyed getting tickled within an inch of his life.

Definitely not at first though. And to fully grasp the situation we'll have to rewind the story just a…

"Aw nohohoo bub! Thehehey don't neeheed to hehehear all o' thahahat!"

Wade's heart skipped a beat as he gasped in excitement.

"Oh em gee! Your first fourth wall break! I'm so fucking proud of you!"

Shush, we're doing this.

Anyways Logan couldn't remember ever being tickled before so the day Wade had discovered that he was in fact quite ticklish he did everything in his power to fight him off and avoid it altogether. Wade wouldn't back off though and inevitably got him pinned down, even though it resulted in several stab wounds to his head and torso.

Having been alive for over 200 years Logan was very used to experiencing pain of some of the highest levels physically and mentally, but tickling was something very alien to him. Not surprisingly he struggled with processing the maddening, yet gentle touches.

He didn't like to show any signs of weaknesses, but being tickled completely overwhelmed his heightened senses, especially in the touch department, and it was impossible for him to not react to it. There had been feelings of anger and humiliation at how easily simple fingers were able to render him powerless, and it only got worse once he finally broke into agonized laughter.

Logan hated the feeling of not having control, especially over his own body. Once he had managed to break free, he had been extremely cross with Wade and went into one of his brooding moods for the majority of the day.

After giving him time to cool off, Wade eventually approached him to apologize, and Logan shrugged it off now that his temper had died down. Though he had been working on trying to better himself and he explained to Wade what it had made him feel and why he had reacted so strongly against it.

Wolverine being vulnerable enough to share his feelings with him was one of the only times Wade was ever completely serious and really gave his full attention. Despite getting a kick out of always annoying him Wade never wanted to cause him true stress and it made him feel like a real asshole when Logan ended up apologizing to him too.

Wade promised to never do it to him again but added that he just got carried away due to the fact that he really liked seeing Logan not only smile but laugh especially. Logan had become utterly stupefied by that confession. He thought Wade had only been trying to torment and embarrass him, which was what had really set him off.

He had then taken the next few days to reflect on that. He could definitely empathize with how good it felt to see someone you really cared about experiencing joy. Knowing that Wade's intentions were far from malicious had really put his mind at ease about it, realizing that his pride had gotten the better of him.

And the more he thought back on it it really wasn't that bad.

Which was why Wade's squawk of surprise when Logan tackled him from out of nowhere to attack his sides with tickles gave Logan the same fuzzy feeling he assumed Wade had had. Wade not only was laughing from the tickling, but from relief as well, realizing that he'd been unspokenly forgiven.

He didn't even fight it and just let Logan tickle him to his heart's content until finally the man stopped and grunted that he had hoped he'd "learned his lesson" while giving him a small smirk.

Wade was able to read between the lines and took the chance to pounce him the very next day, and despite some growling threats he received the older mutant didn't seem entirely displeased. Logan had completely let his guard down, which now enabled him to truly experience it in full.

Still, he made Wade work for it before he finally stopped holding in his laughter. The crazy merc then proceeded to make him laugh harder than he could ever remember doing in his past, and he found the brain chemical effects from that to do wonders for his mood.

The funny thing about it to Logan was that even though he was rendered helpless from tickling he realized that he was still 100% safe, and he found that to be a very comforting thought. It was a new experience for him to be in such a close proximity struggle where the end goal wasn't to try to hurt or kill him.

Sure, Wade would use tickling as a form of retaliation a lot of times, but it was all the same to Logan by now. Naturally he wasn't always in the mood for a tickle attack, but these days more often than not he didn't fight it too much and was quite content to let his roommate turn him into a squirming, wheezing wreck.

Of course, for appearances sake, Logan would still curse his head off and threaten the man's life at every turn. Up until the mischievous merc would tickle him to the point he could barely take it and turn that macho attitude into desperate pleas for mercy.

Which brings us back to our current situation.

"Dahahammit! I-I dihihihidn't ahahask for a wahahahaake up cahahahall!"

"No thanks needed! It's totally complimentary in el Casa de Wade. But don't mind me, feel free to go back to sleep. I'm just going to keep counting these ribs here until we get to the bottom of this. Ah, finally we found 7 and 8."

Wade was still acting as if this whole idea was just to count his ribs and hadn't even acknowledged that he was purposely tickling him and realizing that made Logan feel even more giddy as he let out a snort and shook his head.

"Wade c'mooon! Get ohohohoff! Ya-heehehehe-Ya know I'm ticklihihihihish, fucker!" His big-muscled arms were clamped so tightly against his sides, but there was no stopping the determined fingers crawling up his ribs.

"Whaaa? Wolverine? Ticklish? Ha! That's absurd! My guy Logan is way too mean and strong and tough to be affected by something so childish! Oh boy, and I thought I was the king of jokes around here. Now come on, stop messing around and just move your arms out of the way so I can finish this," Wade smirked, loving to tease him about his ticklishness in regard to his hard-core reputation.

"You fuhuhuhucking ahahahasshohohohole!" Logan snorted hard and now fell over to the side as he began scooting along the couch to get away.

"Heheh, where do you think you're going? Stop being so dramatic, Nancy Kerrigan. It's okay to make that joke now, right? 30 years later is fair," he shrugged at the camera, not letting up one bit as he followed along with his squirming prey, "I can feel 9 and 10 now. We're almost halfway there! Oooh! How exciting!"

"Cuhuhut it ohohohout! Heeheheheheheheh! Juhuhust drohop this stuhuhupid ideheeheeheea!"

The higher Wade went the stronger the tickling sensations felt, and Logan was pretty sure he was going to die before the last of his ribs were even reached, though in his mind it honestly wasn't the worst way for him to go.

"🎵 Ohhhh the itsy-bitsy spiders crawled up the waterspout….🎵," Wade effortlessly sing-songed with clawed fingers continuing their torturously slow progress, thoroughly scraping over every rib bone they came across, "🎵 Down came the rain….but couldn't wash the spiders out because they were having too much fun counting all these cute little ribbies. 🎵."

It always made Logan feel silly whenever Wade's teases took on a more juvenile form. He was the tenacious and deadly Wolverine and yet Wade was treating him like he was just some harmless little kid. He was never able to stop the blush from spreading across his face.

"Shuhuhuhuut uhuhuhup! Ohohor you're gohohonna haahahave another fuhuhuhuckin'-Hahahahahahehee-hohohohole t-to breheeheeheeathe outta yohohour fahahahat hehehehead!"

"Wow. We're body shaming now? I'm very sensitive about my fat head, you know. Well have you looked in the mirror lately, mister? Just walking around with those big, sexy arms and your handsomely chiseled jawline, and don't even get me started on all that sculpted beef that you're hiding in disgrace underneath this shirt. Yeah, doesn't feel so good now, does it, you absurdly attractive man? Uh huh….oh….yup, right there we got 11 and 12."

Wade was just so ridiculous sometimes, but when Logan was already caught in a laughing fit the merc's unstoppable blabbering only succeeded in making him laugh even harder. And unfortunately, he was slowly losing his will to carry on with acting tough through this tickle session.

"Fihihihiiine! I'm-heeheehehahahahaha-I'm sorrrrry! I tahahahake it bahahahaack! Just stooohohohoooop!" Logan didn't know how much more he could take of this. Actually, he did know due to having suffered under Wade's fingers for months now, and the answer was a lot.

"Why? I'm just trying to get a count here. 13……14…..It's for science. Hey look, I'm sorry……," Wade pretended to show some remorse before breaking into a huge smirk, "Sorry my wittle Wolvie-polvie is too freakin' ticklish for his own good!"

Logan's back finally met the armrest of the couch, preventing him from going any further as he leaned back over it to try to get away. Though this now had his ribcage fully stretched out as Wade stepped it up and dug his fingers in mercilessly between rib bones, making Logan positively howl in laughter.

"Ahahahahaa! Wade naahahahahahahaho! Pleheheease! Thahahahaat tickles!" He thrashed madly trying to wiggle away, but Wade had him pinned right where he wanted him as he just snickered at the situation.

"I think at this point you know that was part of my plan all along. Hehehe, but we're so close! Think of the prestige we'll get from this scientific breakthrough! Oh! I think I just found 15! Oooh! And could that be 16?! C'mon, buddy! Bear with me now!"

The upper ribs were basically in Logan's armpits that were covered with a more fleshy layer and Wade was really having to probe in there to actually feel the bones beneath.

"Not thehehehere! Noohot thehehehehehehhehehere! Haahahahaheeheeheeheehaa! Mehehehehercyyyyyy! Logan squealed helplessly with his head tilted back and showing off his elongated canine teeth; his face as red as a tomato as tears squeezed out of his tightly shut eyes.

The feral man's t-shirt had ridden up, exposing the lower half of his ripped stomach and Wade was currently in a position where it was at eye level. He smirked as he thought about how crazy Logan got whenever he would blow raspberries into his tummy, and he found the urge to do so was just too strong to resist as he took a deep breath.

"WAAAHahAHaHAhaHAHAAADE!!" Logan screamed with the first oral assault landing directly around his navel, breaking into silent laughter while wheezing desperately for air. Many more blows were delivered to his belly and ribs while the fingers continued tickling in his armpits as Logan summoned up any energy he had left and pushed with all he had in him at Wade's head and shoulders.

Eventually after being slapped and punched in the head so many times, Wade finally allowed himself to be pushed away, taking one last nibble at his hip bone.

"Geez, calm down Hugh, you over actor," he chuckled as he looked down at the man who was currently swallowing all the air he could and gingerly wiping away at tears.

"Okaaahaahay…..Fuckin' Hell……That's it…..for nohohow…..Y-You got me…..good……No more….right?"

"Weeeeeell if you would have just stayed still, we could have had this all over with. But noooooo, you just had to make me lose count," Wade sighed loudly in feigned disappointment, "Looks like I'm gonna have to start aaaallllllll over again."

With a wicked grin he began reaching out towards the still incapacitated man who was now shaking his head frantically as his hands raised in defense.

"N-No Wade. Not again. Stay back. Heehehehe-please. I can't take any more," he couldn't help giggling in anticipation as Wade hovered over him again.

"Hold still now…Don't worry Peanut, we'll get through this together. So that's 1……and 2…….and a coochie coochie coo…," Wade started again on his waist to get at his bottom ribs as Logan was already breaking into squeals.

"20?! Again?! For real?! I've counted three times already!"

Logan was hanging halfway off the couch; his hair sticking out in every direction and his cheeks slicked with tears as he coughed and tried to regain any hint of sanity he had left.

"It's……It's……fine…….Wade…..I'm sure……..they're in……there……somewhere……," he panted weakly, slowly starting to feel his energy revitalize.

"Or maybe you really do only have 20? My theory that you have fewer since you are shorter may be correct!" Wade was getting lost in his thoughts, but then at that moment a voice of reason sounded off.

"And remember, the 11th and 12th pair of ribs are referred to as 'floating ribs' and are only attached at the backbone….," the television was still on and by this point the doctor had gone back around and was summarizing everything he had just talked about.

The light bulb finally went on in Wade's head.

"Oh yeeeeah……forgot about those little buggers," Wade slowly turned to look at his friend whose eyes went wide as he scrambled to get away.

Five seconds later and Wade had Logan pinned on his stomach as his fingers wiggled into his lower back to find the missing rib pairs while Logan cackled wildly and pounded his fists with his feet uselessly kicking at the cushions.

"23…..and 24! Well would you look at that! I guess all humans are the same after all!" Wade declared happily as he finally climbed off of his roommate, signaling the end of his reign of terror, "Whaddya think, Wolvie? Aren't you so glad to have that useful little tidbit of information at your disposal?"

Logan gradually rolled over onto his back and raised an annoyed brow.

"Could've just fuckin' Googled it, bub," he growled, though a smile was still stuck on his face.

"Okay I admit waking you up may not have been the nicest way to go about it, but you know how impatient I am. And be honest, you really don't seem that upset about it," Wade grinned, reaching over to scribble fingers over his now exposed stomach while Logan snorted chuckles and tried to block him out with his knees before rolling away.

"You're lucky I didn't piss my pants, asshole. Drank a shit load of beers right before I fell asleep. I gotta piss like a fucking racehorse now," Logan stumbled to his feet and walked off to use the bathroom.

Wade grinned as he watched him walk away before turning to the audience.

"He's cute, ain't he? And I didn't hear any denial in that, did you? He doesn't know that I heard the author spill his secret earlier. It's nice to know that he actually enjoys it, even if he won't say it. I'm totally good with that."

The sound of Logan groaning in relief echoed down the hallway followed by the toilet flushing several moments later before he walked back out to join Wade on the couch.

"Did you make sure to put the seat back down? Althea won't be happy if she falls in again," he asked as Logan looked at him with a frown.

"That one was on you, shithead. I always remember to. You've lived how many years with this poor lady? I seriously don't know how she's put up with your stupid, inconsiderate ass for so long."

"Exactly the same way you do, sugar tits," Wade grinned and pinched his cheek, receiving an adamantium elbow into his side and grunting as the air was knocked out of him momentarily.

"It's a daily struggle that's for sure. But I owe ya a lot for breaking me out of my destructive cycle, so we'll call it even," Logan had softened his demeanor, knowing he truly owed Wade his gratitude as the other man noted this and took advantage of his guard being down.

"Awww there it is! Right there! I knew you loved me!" Wade squealed as he jumped onto Logan's lap and wrapped his arms around his head in the tightest of hugs.

"Gaah! Wade! Fuckin' dammit! Let go of me!" Logan struggled to pry Wade off of him until he was hit with a moment of inspiration as he latched his fingers onto Wade's unprotected sides to start tickling him with everything he had.

"Aahaahahah! Logan dohohohohooot! Thahahahat's nohohohot fahahahaaair!" Wade yelped with giggles as he quickly tried to escape, but Logan held him firmly in place.

"Fair? Okay, let's be fair. See we learned that all my ribs are there, but seems we've overlooked yours. Think it's best we check that out right away, don't you?" Logan asked with a crooked grin as Wade frantically shook his head while thrashing in his lap, "No? Well ain't that just too damn bad."

Logan dug right in with both strong hands, not even hiding the fact that his mission was to tickle the absolute shit out of his roommate.

"Okaahahahay yohohou cahahan cheheheck! Heheehhehahah! Juhuhust nohoho tihihihickling!"

"Now how do ya expect me to do that? You got an x-ray or some bullshit to show me? A fuckin' thesis paper on the matter? What? Ya don't? Well that fuckin' sucks for you. Looks like we're doing this the old-fashioned way. What number was I on? Oh yeah….1…….1…….1……1 again….."

"Cahahahahaaan't you fuhuhucking cohohount, you neahahahanderthal?!?!"

Logan smirked big time, repeatedly prodding into the same rib over and over.

"Guess not. Numbers apparently aren't my strong suit. Looks like this is gonna take alllll day then."

Wade could only laugh and squeal in response, knowing he had sealed his own doom.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Congratulations on all the anons trying to dictate how you run your own blog. Pretty sure this means you've arrived. Thank you for being awesome (and occasionally snarky).

oh bestie if that's the metric then I arrived back in like 2015 when some yokel said I'd been "a very promising sex educator" until I refused to stop using the word queer. and I'm still here and still queer biiiiiitch 👅

[giggly-squiggily]

MORE BLUE LOCK THOUGHT COMING RIGHT UP 🩷🩷

- when bachira got declared the runner up i immediately had to think of that fic you wrote where he tries to tickle monster his way through the top three because he misses isagi. imagine he does it with the top six but this time it's just for funsies, like he just walks around attacking them and observes their wildly different reactions

- i NEED chigiri's mom to join the mom squad i love them so much i need them to go on coffee dates and gossip about their sons i need them to put the boys into chic clothes and drag them to a classical concert and they're having the time of their lives while their sons sit there and all exchange glances like "we could be playing soccer rn" while also pretending not to know each other because they feel so stupid in their little suits and ties

- barou?? on the field?? BAROU ON THE FIELD???? *screeches*

- yukki and nagi expand on the games they play to pass time and rin pretends not to care but one night they play Who Am I and nagi does such an accurate impression of isagi that it makes rin laugh and he joins the game after that. they didn't plan on telling anyone but then yukki subconsciously imitates something karasu does at practice and it's so spot on that they get ratted out

- i'm just thinking about this because i had a tiktok on my fyp that had reo and chigiri edited to that "name a more iconic duo than a twink and a redhead" but these two are the gossip queens of blue lock they know everything about everyone

- ego is really growing on me, i didn't like him in s1 but he's lowkey hilarious so imagine it's his birthday while at blue lock and anri organizes a little surprise and when he walks in on her and the boys all yelling "happy birtday!! :D" he just looks over his shoulder like "to who :o" (don't tell me this man wouldn't forget his own birthday)

- they play kiss marry kill during breaks and bachira will say "kill everyone marry isagi" each time even when isagi is not an option

JKEKJRJKEJR REY YOU ARE SPOILING ME! :D

This got long so under the cut! :D

-HELP THAT IS SO FUNNY KJLRJLKEJREJJ Could I use this for a fic, I'll credit/tag you and everything: I just have so many thoughts on them and how'd they react akljrjkearjkeajkrjk Bachira's back on his bullshit and I love him so much KJLJKRLEJKLRJKLEJKRLE Like: Yuki with a soft giggly laugh vs Karasu's literal screams of the dead cause this man CANNOT- kjlarjkleajklrjkle

-YES!!! Her and the moms all together; the idea of them all dressed up and attending some sort of concert like you said ajkraejklrjklaejklr They're all dressed up and Isagi's got his hair combed back all nice and beyond over it- Bachira's chewing on his tie at some point and Chigiri's the only one low-key vibing (he fell asleep halfway through the concert and only woke up at the huge gong smack) They take selfies at the start doing the "had to do it to them" pose too ajkreakrkejjrkaejkrjke

-KLJREHJKLRJKEJKLREJKLRJKEJ AHHHH *screeches so hard I explode* THE JOKER!!! When he missed that shot I was so mad- kjarjkekjrejkrjke

-HELP KJERJKEJKRJKj Nagi hits him with a dead on "I'm gonna devour you, genius" and Rin inadvertently snorts giving himself away; the idea of him joining in is so cute akjrjkleajkrejkj Yuki accidentally giving them away when he mimics his arm pose or something and Karasu's just "OI!" Nagi and Rin try to play it off like "Yukki's just crazy" but they get snitched on by said man cause "I'm not going down alone!" kjarjkeajkrejkrjke

-HELP YES! They talk so much shit about everyone (But like- funny shit nothing genuinely mean if anything they talk more highly of their teammates) and gossip about everyone's relationships ("Rin's got it bad for Hiori." "Everyone's got it bad for Hiori"-) They run to one other like "Biiiiiitch" "Whaaat?" Whenever they got new tea.

-For real!!! I made so much fun of him when he first appeared but now lowkey he's kind of a vibe? His strangeness grew on me like fungus and I'm okay with that. :D HELP NOT HIM FORGETTING HIS BIRTHDAY EJKRKJLEJKREJKLRJKE "How old are you, Ego-Sensei?" "Too old." (What's the bet he forgot how old he is? Like the man has to literally check records of his time playing soccer and do all these complicated maths while Anri's staring at him with "Dude. You're 31.")

-KJLRJKEJKLRJKEJK HELP "Kiss Marry Kill-" "ISAGI MARRY! Kill everyone else :D" Cuts to Chigiri being all "Rude D:<" and Isagi a blushing mess while Reo's trying to gently explain that Isagi wasn't even an option. Shidou at some point joins in but makes everything lewd and gross so he's kicked out.

Now to add some of my own! :D

-I know Oliver said that bag was his ex-girlfriends but I beg the question of how exactly did it end up in Sae's things? Conspiracy theory: Sae IS a drag queen and works nights when he isn't playing but does it so well no one knows it's him. (Either that or Oliver planted it in his bag to throw everyone off whichever one's funnier.)

-Gonna be so real I was low-key hoping they'd find a picture of baby Rin in Sae's back or something to show he cared- it's such a long shot but I love the idea of Sae's wallpaper or lock screen being them as babies and no one really knows about it cause Sae never brings his phone out- not even Rin would know about it it's that well hidden.

UGH this season makes me so happy! It's gonna be so good how it ends- I think? I have no idea but I'm HYPED! :D Thank you for all the thoughts! my inbox is always open to you for any more you think of, and I'll be sure to share with you my own! :D

[bocchi-the-rock-fgc]

Full/Final Strive complaint post because im so tired of bitching about it. Im so done. If you don't wanna see me just whining and complaining, just leave cause I just need to get this out there.

Why is every single balance patch fucking awful? Why can I never just see a balance patch and go "oh alright, so ___ will be stringer but I'll still be the same" NAHHHHHH FUCK YOUUUUUU, CHANGE HOW YOU PLAY THIS WHOLE GAME BIIIIIITCH

Why am I not allowed to try characters in a fun environment? If I wanna try someone I HAVE to go into ranked to find people that are VAGUELY my skill level. The park is such a flawed system because people can just dodge you and it's a coin flip whether they'll be good or not.

Why do all the fun characters suck? Why can I not have fun with Axl, Zato or Faust because the game has devalued them to the point of just taking a fat shit on them with every patch.

Why are the top tiers so fucking boring not only to play but to watch as well. Like im not saying I could just pick Sin or Johnny and waltz into evo but as an ex-strive leo player this shit is so boring.

Why do any of the cool shit people lab when it's NEVER optimal. The amount of Faust combos I see that are cool but sure as fuck aren't optimal is astounding cause God, you just aren't landing it in a match unless the stars align.

Why are half of these characters JUST rushdown, like that's all they do. Im so tired of the "hurr durr i have a million plus frames so you cant play the game anymore because fuck you" archetype because it's so fucking boring and non intractable.

Don't even get me started on characters like Happy Chaos, Baiken or Elphelt cause holy shit, what garbage fucking designs in terms of gameplay. Elphelt isnt even that GOOD, just omega levels of annoying and toxic. Oh hah hah you guessed wrong on my 25/25/25/25 now eat a 60%+ combo into wallbreak like fuck off.

Oh boy I can't wait to see what interesting thing this A.B.A. Will do, oh wow it's the same key grab combo that every aba does. How inventive, how brave.

When I say I like the older games more, this is what I mean. The amount of options and freedom you have is practically infinite and all of it CAN be viable to some degree. In strive, why do the cool shit when the same thing just works every time.

Hell even i cant even escape myself doing it cause I'll TRY to do the cool shit and whoops, sorry uncle arcsys said "nuh uh eat the same combo 50 times in a row" and whoops just gone.

Why's everything overtuned, why do combos do all my health with NO meter used. There were combos that did a lot of damage in the old games but you had to WORK for it there. That shit used up all your meter, sometimes your burst, required superb execution and just took so much more effort. In strive it's just oh wow the same 5 moves into WB and im dead wow cool great game guys.

Im so tired of this bull shit. I can only laugh at so many Faust interactions to ease the pain. If the next balance patch doesn't fix this, im just done.

Been doing this shit for TOO long, stuck with this through thick and thin, always defending it and whelp, guess that's just how it goes.

Is there more? Yeah, I could complain for a WHILE about strive, but fuckin im tired. This isnt fun. Im not having fun learning new characters. Im upset. Im angry. Im just gonna go play +R or something

[sweetchcolate]

Wait wait wait wait wait:

he can make something else other than a sword?? I know he said his kind could produce 'sharp things', but I didn't think that, for Shall, this meant knives and swords of all sizes.

this biiiiiitch. I love the little passive agressive ways he denies Rafael, like here making an opening so the silver sugar leaks out

bruh the fact this little act of rebellion made a trail to the castle that Hugh and the earl later found... was it planned? A lucky side consequence? I cannot wait for volume 6 to be translated so we know what's going on in Shall's head in better details

[sheinthatfandom]

FLIPPY ENTRANCE ME LIKEY!!!!!

This video BIIIIIITCH

god now I wanna go play assassins creed lol

I know Kenny had to have a hand in this

Wait I gotta watch that again

We work in the dark to serve the light

God that’s so good!!!!

Man that’s how you sell a game

THAT OUTFIT!!!!!!! Biiiitch!!!!

Mjf wtaf lol I can’t

Is the crowd dining to mjfs music it’s just instrumentals

I don’t like wills face he looks unsure

I would say the guys carrying it out are breaking the code but the whole flag is against the flag code

There’s eagles on mjfs feet Omg I can’t lol

I would love it if Will could win without the tiger driver

omg okay camera man I see you and the way will spread his knees and arched his back ohhh who was THAT for.

I hope fic writers were inspired by that shot.

I hope someone giffed that

I mean you can’t flip

That was a better flip and he actually stole that from swerve the Spanish fly on the floor

Ooh maxs ass hanging on the ropes it’s like an inviting meal yummers

Mjf has excellent mat sense I agree but also counter argument I want him to lose

Who stole the ring? Or is max lying or did fletcher steal it ohhhhh or was it Davis? Oh oh orrrr was it adam Cole? Wait no I got it DANNY STOLE THE RING! Yes that’s what I want

I love how it’s obvious that he’s struggling with the tiger driver like will he won’t he and so commentary can react to it and speak on it cause not everyone watches like we do and so nuance is lost on the male watchers

If he loses by count out -__-

Bryce showing max look hes here

The crowd cheering Ospreay driving max crazy

Our brains match so much when max said god bless America my husband and I continued with land that I love lmaoooo

Oop camera man is dead

Undies matches socks how nice

Bryce misses everything

WILL CAUGHT HIM

Oh never mind

Oh max is crying and now he pushed it down

Hidden blade to max that killed the ref

Fuck max is gonna win the same way as always

DANNY ITS DANNY!!!!!

Danny got that all in check I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!!!

Fuck I hope a ref shows up where’s Aubrey

Oh shit the tiger driver

Danny should get a shot at the belt as a treat

Oh man if max fakes a neck injury after this Will will be broken

YES

AND MOXS/ORANGES BELT IS BACK!!!!

Mjf could probably keep the American one

Be careful don’t pull a punk and break something trying to celebrate with the crowd

[blue-cypress]

Time to post about my fave vanilla romdram ahahah

Okay so like this season was really nice overall just like wonderfully made a produced it didn't feel rushed (except the random ass FOUR MONTH time skip at the end)

Mel's pregnancy arc came to a sad end that I didn't expect, but in hindsight I probably should have. There were some times where they would say things about the pregnancy and I would go 'the fuck I thought you were only telling your boss his wife and your sister about this, why are you telling this to these random extras we'll never see again??' Brie and Brady made me sad especially cause of the reason she broke up with him. Mike literally had the same secrets as him and she's still choosing to date him, which bugs the shit out of me. Also I still don't trust Mike, I get off vibes from him. Preacher is the man Bo Burnham was talking about in lower your expectations cause this man is everything. He's thoughtful strong attractive will hide a body for you can cook!! And he's dating a woman who lied about her relationship status and wanted to keep things casual even though she didn't say that at the beginning of their relationship. Also her ex is really possessive of her and she keeps telling Preacher "oh its fine, he's harmless" and then two seconds later the ex is like " she's always gonna choose her job over you, and guess what, I'm part of that job". Lizzie and Denny. God they're cute and all but he's in love with her and she loves him. Like they said that to each other with Lizzie specifically saying "love" rather than "in love". Also Dennys grandma was a biiiiiitch. Hated her. "I was doing it cause I loved you!" 'It' being lying about being in love with someone else cause I know you don't want a baby so I'm not gonna tell you I'm having a baby and never speak to you for 50 (30? I don't fucking know man) years. And then telling denny she wanted him to go back to college even though he wants to live the rest of his healthy life with someone he loves?? Bitch behavior. Going back to Mike quickly, whenever brie and Brady had a fight or argument, he would just swoop in and flirt with her, even though he knew she was dating brady, huge red flag to me. Him getting shot did nothing for me, it just gave Brady more trauma. And the fire, it got the BnB, lily's farm, Muriels house, but god forbid the bar burns down. Speaking of the fire, nick was a terrible mayor and jo Ellen shouldn't have told her husband about hopes fender bender. Hope may not be in tip top shape, but she was delegating better than nick could have dreamed. One thing i didnt really like, however, was Mel and Jack planning to buy the land of lily's farm and rebuilding said farm. Like I don't know why but it feels weird to me. I'm not even gonna touch on Cameron or Charmaine cause I am not ready to type out my rants on these two. All in all, amazing how in 5 months half of Virgin River burned down- paiges abusive husband held her hostage, died, got buried on the side of the road that's coming back to bite preacher in the ass- abusive husband's BROTHER came to Virgin river, held Paige hotage, got arrested- Jack got shot by the brother- brie came to town and had a miscarriage- Lilly (a forty ish year old woman) gave birth then died of breast cancer- Hope got into a car accident so bad she was missing for almost an entire season- Mel got pregnant and then also had a miscarriage- Tara's sister Ava came to town and revealed she had mentioned-once-disease-that-i-cant-rememeber-the-name-of AND that she is one of now two lesbians in the show- Charmaine got dumped, pregnant, engaged, was forced to give away her dog, had a high risk/high maintenance pregnacy, then BAM we barely ever saw her or heard about her pregnancy for the entire latest season also Calvin is her baby daddy?? You know what I'm just gonna stop- Jack's cabin was set on fire- hope and doc went from on the verge of divorce to happily married and probably some other things I missed.

Also the only gay people in this are Ava, Hannah (who I'm pretty sure didn't have a name until season 2), and two extras named Johnny and Adrian.

[yakultstrawberrygreentea]

Life update.

These past few months have been crazy. There was a death in the family. I lost a new job due to a potential job. Americas practically on fire so the state of my country has affected job pursuits and prices. I burned a keloid off and got a cavity filled in. A lot has happened.

Since I lost my job I’ve been on over 50 interviews. I’m talking phone screens, zoom interviews, final interviews. Just in the month of April, I had a minimum 25 interviews. Out of all that bs I only got 2 offers. 1 offer kind of gave me a gut feeling that it wasn’t the right fit and that it wouldn’t be challenging enough so I opted out. I just accepted the second offer BUT I have 2 other interviews in the works that I lowkey want to swap out if they pick me because they offer more money and it’s in a field I’m more personally invested in. The second offer was wild af though. They offered me a criminal salary and I let them know I could not accept anything less than ($$$$$) because of the cost of living. They called me the next day and said they were going to match it. They literally within the span of 24 hours, added an extra 14k to the salary. I was on the fence about this job but I realized it was an opportunity to get mentored in a specific field and get free certifications. Not only that, after having a heart to heart with the owner about why I said I needed a specific amount, he offered assistance to help me find a place. I literally told him I needed to survive off more because rent is expensive and he’s like I know a few guys I can find you affordable rent. Bro. People like him don’t exist. Wtf. Also, he decided to match my request because his wife liked me and told him to “give her whatever she wants”. Biiiiiitch. My pursuit of finding a new full time has been insane in this climate but although it’s been exhausting, it’s also been interesting.

[zoeticthoughts]

Bitch, do you know that Hakeem Jeffries is a raging Zionist ??????

Cool, he sucks! I don't like Zionists! That changes literally nothing about anything I said because it's not actually relevant! Biiiiiitch! except that maybe if you are so fucking awful at reading comprehension you think he was condemning Khalil in his statement you should maybe consider if perhaps you do not have a full and thorough enough understanding of his actual opinion to effectively evaluate whether "raging Zionist" is his real genuine actual true position in reality and, if it is, what that means vis-a-vis his policy positions and actions taken within the context OF those statements!

Biiiiiiiiiiiitch!

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 20

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : THESE WARNINGS WILL GIVE SPOILERS!!!! We're going back and forth with POV's too...sorry in advance.... MDNI, angst, tension, anxiety, mentions of car accident/reader in accident, betrayal, drinking, being shitfaced, slight mentions of cheating, andddddd i think thats it

I woke up the next morning with this sense of freedom. The apartment felt different, almost lighter without Alex’s presence weighing it down. I had spent the entire day engrossed in thoughts of how to make this space truly my own, a place where I could start fresh. Each little change I made seemed to breathe new life into the place, and for the first time in a long while, I felt a sense of control and peace.

But as the hours ticked by, a small bout of loneliness began to creep in. I found myself checking my phone obsessively, hoping for some sort of contact from Matt. Despite the joy of having my own space, the lack of communication from Matt was unsettling. I had hoped he’d reach out, maybe offer some words of reassurance or simply check in. The absence of his messages made me second guess everything, stirring up a mix of doubt and anxiety within me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to talk to him. I was now very aware of my own emotions, and I knew they had grown deeper than I initially admitted. I was in love with him. There was no other way to describe it. And I needed him to know. I wanted to be able to call him more than half mine.

Just as I was about to give in to my growing anxiety, my phone pinged. I leaped out of my seat, racing to grab it. The message was from Nick, asking where I was and telling me to get ready and come over. His tone was oddly cryptic, he was never one to be so discreet, and it made me feel like something was up. It made me hope that Matt had something surprising up his sleeve that was about to unfold.

Quickly, I threw on an outfit that made me feel like the baddest bitch on the planet. I styled my hair and made sure my makeup was flawless. One Size setting spray to lock it all in place, I needed it to stay put. I couldn’t shake the feeling that tonight was going to be a turning point, and I wanted to be prepared for whatever it might bring.

Arriving at the triplets house, I parked outside, assuming that Matt’s car was in the garage. My heart skipped a beat, hoping that tonight might be the night I finally get to share my actual feelings with him. As I approached the front door, it swung open, and Nick greeted me with his usual enthusiasm.

“Oooo, look at this baaaad biiiiiitch!!” Nick exclaimed, his eyes widening with appreciation. I couldn’t help but blush at his compliment.

“We’re going to a party by the way. You’re dressed and ready, so there’s no way you can back out now.” Nick said with a smug grin.

“That’s fine, I won’t argue” I replied, trying to sound casual. “I’m a single woman now, so it’s time to let my hair down.”

“WHAAAAAT? Motherfucker, and you didn’t even tell meee?!” Nick’s reaction was a mixture of shock and excitement.

“It only happened last night.. I haven’t had the chance to tell anyone yet.” I said, trying to downplay the situation. “ Who else is coming?” I decided to add, trying to figure out Matt’s whereabouts.

“Madi’s coming with us, she’s going to Uber here and we’ll all go together. Chris and Matt are already there” Nick said, his tone hinting that he knew I was eager to find out where Matt was.

I was surprised that Matt was already at the party, but I was excited to see him. “There’s vodka on the counter” Nick continued. “We’re pregaming hard for this party. It’s in some massive house in the hills, so I need to be shitfaced by the time I get there if I want to talk to anyone.”

I decided to move my car into the garage, now knowing that Matt was playing Uber driver for the night, and he was out in his car. I walked back into the house and joined Nick at the counter, pouring ourselves vodka lemonades and indulging in a couple one too many drinks. As the evening went on, we laughed and chatted about everything under the sun, including boys. I couldn’t help but let my feelings for Matt slip as the alcohol started to take effect. Nick was so far gone that he probably didn’t register half of what I said, but I felt a tiny bit of relief in finally being able to express my feelings, even if only partially.

Madi arrived an hour later, and we all piled into an Uber to head to the party. The anticipation of seeing Matt and the excitement of the night ahead had me buzzing with a mix of nerves and excitement. This was the start of a new chapter for me, and I was ready to embrace whatever came next.

As soon as we arrived at the party, the sheer size of the house struck me. It was a massive three story mansion perched on a winding street in the hills, barely able to see around each corner. The house had a balcony that wrapped around the entire third floor. The view from up there must be breathtaking, but tonight, the party was centered around the lively chaos inside. The music pumped through the house onto the street, “Still Think About You” by A Boogie Wit da Hoodie muffled in the background.

Nick, Madi, and I walked through the front door and made our way through the crowd, our hands linked together. The house was dark, making it easy to get lost in the sea of people. I was so drunk that I felt like I was floating, the alcohol warming me from the inside out. I hadn’t been this shit faced in a long time, and it was both exhilarating and slightly disorienting.

The house was alive with energy. The living room and lower floors were packed with people holding drinks, dancing, and laughing. The dim lighting cast an almost magical glow over everything, making it feel like we had stepped into a different world.

Nick expertly navigated us through the crowd of influencers and Youtubers, his movements confident for sure. Madi and I followed, our steps less steady as the alcohol continued to affect us. We made our way to the bar area, where a wide selection of drinks awaited us. I grabbed another vodka lemonade, eager to keep the buzz alive.

“Let’s find Matt and Chris!” Nick shouted over the music, his voice barely cutting through the noise. I nodded enthusiastically, but I couldn't help feeling that my excitement was being challenged by a strange flutter of nerves.

As we made our way through the crowd, we finally spotted Chris, who greeted us with a wide grin. My heart pounded when I realized Matt was nowhere in sight. The alcohol had given me a false sense of confidence, but now I felt a strong force of anxiety.

“Where’s Matt?” I asked Chris, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Oh, he’s outside in the garden with Emily” Chris said, pointing towards the glass doors leading out onto the garden.

Emily. The name hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like the music in the room had slowed down in speed, feeling a wave of panic rise within, and I hoped it wouldn’t drown me. I had hoped to avoid any confrontation tonight. But Matt and Emily? Together? The last thing I wanted was to face them both, especially with the knowledge that hung over us like a dark cloud.

“Emily?” I repeated, my voice trembling slightly. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah they’re sat over here, cmon, we’ll go over and say hi” Chris said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the doors.

“No no it’s fine Chris, I-I’ll talk to him later” I tried to protest, planting my heels in the hardwood floor, attempting to pull my hand free from Chris’s grip. But Chris wasn’t letting go, and the more I struggled, the more I felt trapped.

In the midst of trying to lose Chris’ grip, I caught Matt’s eye through the glass doors. He sat on a bench with Emily to the left of him, his arm placed around the back of her, her head slightly leaning on his shoulder. Panic surged through me, and I felt a desperate need to escape. I had to get out of there before I did something I’d regret.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” I said urgently, my voice a mix of heartbreak and desperation. “I don’t feel the best.”

“Oh, shoot, are you okay?” Chris called after me, his concern evident.

But I didn’t give him a response. I turned on my heel and made a beeline for anywhere in the house that would get me far away from here, my heart pounding as I hurried toward the stairs. I could hear Chris shouting that the bathroom was on the second floor, to the left, but I barely registered his words. My only focus was to get away, to find a quiet place where I could collect my thoughts and try to make sense of everything.

I stumbled up the stairs, my mind racing with a mix of confusion, anger, and hurt. I needed a moment to clear my head, to process the reality of the situation, and to figure out what to do next.

Matt’s POV

I sat on a bench in the garden, surrounded by some of my friends through YouTube. Emily was next to me, talking to the group around us, but I barely heard her. All I could think about was leaving. I felt completely out of place. Parties were never really my thing, I was only here because Emily wanted me to be. The sight of Chris coming back through the glass doors caught my eye. He was holding someone. My heart stopped when I realised it was Y/n.

But before I could react, she was gone. Disappearing into the house. I had no idea what she was doing here, and my immediate urge was to find her, to set things straight.

Emily’s voice snapped me back to reality. “Matt, are you okay?”

“Yeah” I said, forcing a smile. I stood up abruptly, grabbing her red solo cup. “I’ll get you another drink.” I said while walked away, not waiting for a response. 

As I walked through the doors, I walked over to Chris. “Hey, where did Y/n go?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Chris looked confused for a moment. “Said she needed to use the bathroom. Why?”

I didn’t answer right away, my mind racing. “Thanks” I said, before heading toward the bathroom.

Y/n’s POV

I stood over the sink, splashing water on my face, trying to sober up a bit. My mind was racing, unable to process what was happening. 

Why is Matt with Emily right now? 

Was he playing me this whole time? 

Was this all for his own personal gain?

The thoughts swirled around in my head, and I couldn’t make sense of any of it.

An intense knock on the door snapped me out of my daze. "Just a minute" I called out, trying to steady my breathing. I walked toward the door, realizing I hadn’t even locked it behind me when I ran in here. But before I could reach it, the door swung open, and Matt rushed in, closing it behind him. I stood there in shock.

"Y/n." Matt said, his voice urgent, but there was something else there. Something that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Why are you here with Emily, Matt?" I asked, confusion and hurt lacing my words.

"Because Emily’s my girlfriend." he replied, his tone blunt.

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Girlfriend?" I blinked, the air rushing out of my lungs as if I’d been punched. "You haven’t ended it yet? Are you - are you okay? What's going on?"

"I’m not ending it, Y/n."

The room started to spin, and I couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or the words that just left his mouth.

"What? Why? Matt after everything she-”

"She hasn’t done anything." he said, his expression cold.

"What? What the fuck? Matt.. I-I ended it with Alex last night, he.. he basically admitted to it all." I said, my heart pounding in my chest.

"She told me the way things actually happened, Y/n. Alex was trying to come on to her this whole time, and she wasn’t feeding into it."

"Matt, that’s not true! You know its not! You know she’s lying to you!" I said, desperation creeping into my voice.

"I believe her, Y/n. And I need to respect her wants for us to not be around each other anymore." His eyes were empty, like he wasn’t even there, like the Matt I knew had vanished.

"No, no, Matt please. You don’t mean that. I know you don’t. You know what she’s like!" tears welled up, blurring my vision as I pleaded with him, trying to reach the person I thought I knew.

"I do mean it." His words were ice, freezing me in place. "Whatever happened between us.. it was a mistake. It’s over, Y/n. You should go back to him, and I’ll go back to her."

I wasn’t sure if I was going to vomit right there in the bathroom or pass out. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How could he say that after everything he knew about Alex? After everything we went through together? Skating, the kiss, the walks on the beach, fucking hell we’ve even slept together. My heart shattered into a million pieces as I realized I needed to leave. Now.

“I need to leave.” I managed to choke out, my voice breaking with tears burning down the sides of my face. Without waiting for a response, I turned and stumbled toward the door, my heart aching with every step, the weight of Matt’s words and the turmoil inside me making it impossible to think clearly.

Matt’s POV

The look on Y/n's face taking in my words was like a dagger to my heart. The hurt and confusion in her eyes were almost unbearable. I had been too blunt, too harsh. The guilt of what I’d just said weighed heavily on me, and I knew I needed to make things better.

I rushed out of the bathroom, my heart pounding. I needed to find her and apologize, but she was already gone. The party was still in full swing, and the crowds were too dense for me to spot her easily. Panic surged through me as I realized just how alone I was in this moment.

I sprinted up to the third floor, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to spot her from a height. Bursting out onto the balcony at the back of the house, I took in the view of the garden. The night was dark, and the lights from the city below flickered in the distance, but there was no sign of Y/n on this side of the house.

I walked along the edge of the balcony to get to the front, my mind racing. I had to find her. I had to make things right. I looked out at the winding roads and tried to calm my racing thoughts. 

Y/n’s POV

I needed to get out of that house and away from everything and everyone. I pushed through the crowds of people, feeling overwhelmed by the noise and the stifling energy of the party. My heart was pounding, my breaths coming in short, sharp bursts as I navigated through the crowd.

Once I finally reached the front door, I pulled out my phone, desperate to order an Uber to get as far away from this place as possible. My hands were shaking, my eyes a blur from the mixture of tears and alcohol in my system, making it difficult to navigate the app. My fingers fumbling across my screen as I selected my location and requested a ride. I instantly got confirmation from a driver for my trip. I left the house and stood outside, trying to steady my breathing as I waited for the car to arrive. The cold air helped clear my head a bit, but the ache in my chest was still raw. I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything had spiraled out of control so quickly.

I paced back and forth on the road, replaying the conversation with Matt in my mind. His words stung, and the reality of his decision hit me harder than I’d expected. I’d been so sure that he and I had something special, but now it seemed like everything was falling apart.

Matt’s POV

As I stood on the balcony, scanning the winding roads below, I saw a figure running out of the house. My heart sank as I realized it was Y/n. She was pacing back and forth on the road, her movements frantic and erratic. It was clear she was struggling to calm herself, and the sight of her broke my heart.

I wanted to go to her, but I was afraid she’d be gone by the time I reached her. I was momentarily distracted by the headlights of approaching cars, the bright lights and the noise of engines roared through the night, adding to the chaos of the moment. I felt a surge of panic as I saw her standing so far into the road, I needed to get her attention.

Y/n’s POV

"Y/N!!!!" I hear my name being shouted in the distance, and I turn to see Matt standing on the third floor balcony.

"Speeding car" he yells, his voice urgent and full of panic.

It wasn't the time, but I couldn't help but let my feelings spill out. "Matt, I don’t know why you’re doing this now. I wanted to tell you I loved you because I thought you did too bu-"

"NO!! Y/n, get off the road!!" Matt interrupts me, his voice tinged with desperation. But it was too late.

Matt’s shouts seem distant, almost swallowed by the roar of the engine behind me and the rush of wind. The world feels like it's closing in on me, the reality of every situation hitting me all at once. In that split second, everything slowed down - the deafening screech of tyres, the blinding lights, the realization that it was too late, that I couldn’t move, couldn’t save myself.

And then, 

Nothing.

a/n: sorry

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy

[wildheartdlionessx]

biiiiiitch I said what i saiddddd 🤘🏽

[lunadivino]

tghis is going under read more because I'm shy and it's long as fuuuuuck but yeah let's get Diavolo MMORPG employed or something

Ok ok ok ok ok. So his ass would not be a healer. He also strikes me as a melee fighter so get all that magic/ranged shit out of here too. Where does this leave us? Tank or melee DPS.

Now you may look at the tank description, see "keeping a foe's attention", and think to yourself Hey Doesn't He Hate That Shit? And you are right he would hate being the tank in a party so he would definitely start as a DPS because nobody gives a fuck what you're doing as DPS as long as you Damage Those Seconds or whatever. THAT SAID, I have an argument for the Dark Knight job IF in his journeys as the star's champion he gets a taste of that character development juice but I'll ramble about that later anyways anyways.

So of the melee DPS jobs off the top of my head I would strike out Dragoon, Samurai, and Viper instantly. He doesn't strike me as either of those, unless he can do a 12 foot vertical jump and crazy backflips or something. And his ass is not meditating or whatever Samurai do SORRYYY SORRYYY that's one of the many jobs that's completely out of my loop. I also don't know shit about Viper so Buh Bye.

I think he Could start as Ninja since AFAIK that ones like, stealth oriented I Assume but um shrug. Second to that I'd say Monk since punching holes in people's bodies is one of his most iconic moves but that said I don't know if Monks are like, capable of that. Shrug.

Ohhhh god Reaper would be fun to think about. I can imagine it very well honestly? LIKE OK. IGNORE THE INHERENT BAGGAGE THE IMAGERY OF DIAVOLO FORMING A PACT WITH A VOIDSENT WOULD INVOKE. HEAR ME OUT. Prefacing with I still haven't played this job either so I'm not well versed with the ins and outs but like, in this scenario Diavolo is wholly and completely Out Of The Loop to the mechanics of this world and while I would assume he could theoretically do magics I Truly Don't Know If He Would Be Able To Intuit That + a billion other things could prove to be barriers to utilizing magic. Reapers get around this by forming pacts with voidsent who uhh actually idfk what they do but the imagery of Diavolo deciding to make a deal Some Guy who's probably a little freaky on account of being an otherworldly entity is like, so real to me. That's literally how Passione happened I think. I don't know. Maybe it would be too crazy for him. I'm not immune to the rule of cool. He would get a scythe weapon.

So that might be all of our options for DPS BUT HEAR ME OUUUUUUUT ON TANKING. PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE. Actually it's just Dark Knight I'm giving a fuuuck about since his ass would never be a Paladin and um I don't know much about Gunbreaker My Bad. Warrior would be fun but I don't know if he's got an inner beast in him.

Also fucking, xiv spoiler warning. Especially for dark knight questline. If you care.

Jesus Christ I wrote out a whole thing but got embarrassed so THE TL;DR, basicallly:

Diavolo starts The Narrative not giving a fuck because why would he but in coming to this world he's been chosen by the Big Crystal to be Da Hero. Try erasing that fate biiiiiitch! Now he is Obligated to Do His Job and Save The Realm which includes helping many people and making solid-acquaintances-if-not-friends and, Persnaps, over the course of ARR, he does a little developings. Perhaps he develops a sense of camaraderie with the people he works alongside. Maybe inadvertently he grows a taste for and develops a habit of helping others. At the same time, he isn't oblivious to the way he's treated as a tool by some. It's a horrible, nauseating thing, but he can only endure. He must persist. It will be fine.

Until it isn't.

Betrayed by the people and chased from the lands he just saved, he is furious. Everything he has done, and that was the thanks he got? Finding refuge in a frigid hellscape does little to soothe the fury. Things turn when he finds a crystal in the hands of a frozen corpse. Inexplicably drawn to it, he takes it, and finds himself with a new mentor.

It's a little surreal how well his mentor understands him. He says the things he hasn't been able to say for a while now. He sees something inside of him no one has ever understood. And yet, the closer they become, a rift appears. His mentor laments his newfound altruistic nature. How he lets himself be used as little more than a tool. It's a little bizarre. A part of him doesn't disagree, but another... He almost notices his mentor sounds much like himself before he was sent to this world. They continue to train.

It culminates in an invitation. The next time they meet, the two of them could leave that place. Go somewhere they won't have any burdens or obligations. No one would know them. They would be free. It's quite the alluring proposal. He couldn't say no.

However, he fails whatever final test that was supposed to be. His new nature has won over. His mentor is furious, and reveals himself.

It's him. A facet of him. His Esteem.

They clash. Both wish to persist, but only one can leave that fight. It's no surprise who wins.

Despite the victory, he does not strike Esteem down. Rather, he embraces him. His former mentor scoffs, but makes a promise. He would wait for him should he ever tire of that charade. He need only ask.

Ok but what if Diavolo did get isekaid to XIV and he became the warrior of light. What then.

[cardhouseandthecage]

*mischance voice* 20 minutes later i track her down, she’s distilling corpses in the basement talking bout “can i help you? B)”

[many-gay-magpies]

feeling touchstarved remembering when my friend came to visit over winter break and insisted we spoon because of how cold it was (since the heater didnt reach upstairs)

[duckie-baby]

I smile exponentially more in a day ever since I met you

AND IVE HAD MANY MORE HEARTGASMS AND A STRONGER INFLOW OF SEROTONIN INTO MY IDIOT BRAIN EVER SINCE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE IN ALL YOUR BEAUTIFUL HORNY DISASTROUS GLORY