#I started getting long term memories when this show started do you ever think about that bc I do

[prythiansprincess]

LOOSE LIPS | a theo nott fic.

"I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings."

word count: 2,312.

summary: a night out with the boys goes awry when draco concocts a nightmare combination of tequila and potions, causing a disastrous turn of events in which theo nott finally spills his deepest, darkest secret.

author's note: happy fluff friday! i'm writing again and trying not to hate it. please bear with me as I try to find my footing again. i'm painstakingly going through all of my fic ideas and picking out the ones that don't make me want to scream and tear my hair out. anyways enough yapping, enjoy x

♫ paper rings - taylor swift. nav. more theo.

One shot. 

Two shots. 

Three shots. 

Another and another. At a certain point, the tequila that his friends had been generously supplying him with started tasting like water; a tell-tale sign that this innocent snake’s night out — as innocent as any Slytherin could reasonably be, which is to say not at all — was on the verge of devolving into an absolute shit show of epic proportions. Still, Theo Nott had never been the type to back down from a challenge. 

Despite his complete lack of self-preservation, Salazar forgive him for the odious display of idiotic bravery and recklessness that was really more suited to his former house rivals, Theo couldn’t help but think that he was missing a crucial piece of the puzzle. Mainly, the reason for tonight’s celebration. Though he could hardly be blamed. Somewhere between his fifth and sixth shot of whatever nightmare-inducing potion-laced liquor Draco had concocted, the purpose of their gathering had understandably slipped through the cracks of Theo’s inebriated mind. 

Shame. Theo was usually sharper than this, but he could hardly be expected to be rich, handsome, and sober at all times. Merlin, he was just a man. A very drunk and emotional man with loose lips that could sink a whole bloody armada. 

In the corner of the dimly lit booth, Theo poked his best mate’s shoulder and leaned in conspiratorially. “I have a secret.” 

Mattheo blinked slowly. The drink in his hand sloshed at the edges when he placed it atop the sticky table. Clearly, Riddle was not far behind in terms of being absolutely trollied. It made Theo feel loads better about his own drunken state. 

His mate grinned. “This should be good. Let’s hear it, then.” 

Theo nodded in confirmation. Little did his curly headed friend know that Theo was about to drop the juiciest bloody secret this group had ever heard since Pansy revealed her scandalous sexcapades with plant daddy Longbottom. “You know Y/N?” 

“Of course,” Mattheo drawled, dark eyes sharpening with focus. A shameless gossip, that one. Second only to the reigning king of scandals himself — Berkshire. “She’s one of my best friends.”

Theo rolled his eyes. “No, she’s my best friend. You’re more like an acquaintance.”

Mattheo snorted in response. “Does this have a point or are you just being a twat?”

“I’m getting to it!” Theo exclaimed, flailing his arms defensively. “Okay, so, Y/N… She’s just so pretty. And funny. And smart. A complete badass, too. Did you know that she once threatened to clobber the Weasel when he hit me with a bludger by accident?” 

The memory made Mattheo smile. Even though they were light years away from the boys they had been, there was something nostalgic about reminiscing their days at Hogwarts. Now they were fully fledged adults with actual responsibilities. Well, as much responsibility as it takes not to squander away their very sizable inheritances, but that was besides the point.

“Trust me, I remember. Malfoy and I had to pull her off of him before she committed gingercide.” 

Draco’s sigh was full of longing. “We should’ve just let her do it. That might’ve been our only chance to get rid of the little weasel.”

Enzo grinned. “You know, Y/N sat by your bed in the infirmary for a week.” 

Theo smiled in earnest, his chest squeezing at the memory of finding you asleep in the chair beside his bed, but still stubbornly refusing to let go of his hand even while unconscious. 

“She did, didn’t she?” Theo asked, feeling a bit teary eyed. Bugger. He had always been an emotional drunk. “Y/N’s so great.” 

Blaise smirked. “Oh, fantastic. The best gal around.” 

Tom scowled into his pint. How the elder Riddle managed to remain in control of his faculties despite the absolute debauchery of the night completely eluded Theo. “Does your blathering have a purpose, Theodore?” 

Theo childishly stuck out his tongue. “Don’t rush me.” 

Summoning every ounce of seriousness in his utterly unserious body, Theo lowered his voice to reveal his deepest, darkest secret. His glazed eyes scanned the booth full of his closest friends and dropped the proverbial bomb. 

“I’m in love with Y/N.” 

Theo dared to glance around, expecting shit to hit the fan. Instead, he was greeted by deadpan stares. Where was the drama? Where was the scandal? Certainly not with this group of ungrateful gits.

Draco, at least, appeared slightly amused. “No shit, Nott.” 

Mattheo pouted and crossed his arms. “I thought this was actually going to be juicy.” 

Beside him, Enzo patted Theo’s shoulder. “Mate, how drunk are you?” 

Annoyance very quickly shifted the mood. “You lot are the worst!” 

Regulus chuckled. “At least we’re not emotional drunks.” 

“Shut up, Reg. You cried when you saw a baby bird take flight once and you were completely sober then.” 

The conversation descended into chaos as the boys argued for the title of most ridiculous drunk. It seemed to be a tie between him and Mattheo, which in all honestly was not the least bit surprising, but the honorable mention of Berkshire once streaking through the quidditch pitch after one too many firewhiskeys at least made him a worthy contender. Bollocks to it all, Theo had lost interest altogether. 

The second stage of drunkenness hit him hard and fast. Theo felt tired and cranky and sleepy, but despite his overall weariness, he simply couldn’t bring himself to do a damned thing about it. 

“C’mon, Notty boy,” Mattheo grunted as he pulled on Theo’s arm. “It’s time to go.” 

Unfortunately for him, Theo was nothing but dead weight as he slumped back into the booth. Part of him was still annoyed at his friends’ utter lack of surprise when it came to his sordid confession, but a bigger part of him missed you even more. 

“Not you,” Theo whined as he slapped his best mate’s hand away. “I want Y/N. I miss her! I miss her smile and her eyes and her pretty hair.” 

Tom rolled his eyes in annoyance before turning to the group. “Shall I petrify him?” 

“No!” Mattheo exclaimed. “He has to be up early tomorrow. Y/N will literally murder me if I don’t get him back in one piece.” 

“Y/N?” Theo asked hopefully. “Is she coming here?” 

“No, she’s at home.” 

“Why?” Theo whined. “Why isn’t she here? We should’ve invited her. It’s not too late. Can we call her?” 

“It’s almost midnight,” Mattheo explained. “She’s probably asleep.” 

Theo stubbornly crossed his arms and stayed put. “I’m not leaving unless Y/N comes.” 

Mattheo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The others weren’t even trying to help. With the exception of Tom, who kept insisting on petrification. The younger Riddle glared at Draco. “I’m telling Y/N that you’re responsible for this. If I go down, you’re going down with me, ferret boy.” 

Malfoy rolled his eyes. “It’ll wear off before the ceremony.” 

Riddle only scowled before retrieving his mobile. Theo could barely hear his frantic whispering, but he could see his best mate’s grimace as you undoubtedly chewed him out from the other end. “It’s Theo. He keeps asking for you and he gets all weepy when we try to coax him out.” 

Theo was about to argue that he was by no means weepy. Just terribly missing his best friend and demanding her company right this instance or else he refused to move his drunk arse from the likely germ infested vinyl booth. A demand that seemed perfectly reasonable to his inebriated mind.

“I still say we stun him,” Tom offered. "If only for my entertainment."

The elder Riddle's mouth flicked into a smirk. Morgana, Theo truly must be drunk. There was no way Tom actually made a joke. Mattheo shook his head before hanging up the phone. Theo brightened, searching his best mate’s expression. 

“She’s on her way.” 

A few minutes later, you appeared around the corner donning one of Theo’s oversized hoodies, sweatpants, and fuzzy bunny slippers, probably because you simply couldn’t be arsed to put on proper shoes. The sight made Theo beam. Even sans makeup and your wild, unruly hair haphazardly tied into a messy bun, you were still the most beautiful person he had ever seen. 

Theo jumped to his feet once you reached their booth. “Hi, bella.” 

“Hi, Teddy.” You giggled as Theo pulled you into a bear hug, nearly knocking the two of you over with the force of his affection. “Got a little too sloshed again, huh?”

“Nooo…” Theo replied with a little huff. You raised a brow. “Okay, maybe. S’not my fault though. These wankers kept piling me with drinks. Plus, Tom threatened to petrify me.” You chuckled at the scowl Theo sent to the utterly unbothered elder Riddle. “Also, they didn’t even think my secret was good!”

That piqued your interest. “What secret?” 

Theo flushed, shyly stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Oh, I can’t tell you. It’s top secret.” 

After a bit more coaxing, you finally talked Theo into leaving. The rest of the boys bid their goodbyes outside of the pub with the exception of Mattheo, who thankfully helped you haul Theo back to your flat. Though he did receive a stern reprimand, you still hugged your friend tightly before he stepped into the floo to return to his own home. 

Theo wobbled as you led him into the bedroom. Leaning against the bureau, he peered into the assortment of clothes you were parsing through. “The spongeguy ones. Those are my —“

“Favorite,” you finished for him. “I know, Teddy. I got them for you. And it’s Spongebob, remember?” 

He nodded in agreement, but did not, in fact, remember. Theo was too preoccupied with the way you fussed over him as you helped him change into comfier clothing. Perhaps he should get drunk more often if it earned him special treatment. Theo made a mental note to look up how much firewhisky one could consume before crossing alcohol poisoning territory.

The thought crossed his mind as he brushed his teeth, eyes seeking yours in the mirror and flashing you a lovesick smile. You winked back and bumped his hip, catching him off guard and nearly knocking him off his arse. Luckily, Theo found his balance by wrapping a strong arm around your waist and holding on for dear life. 

Moments later, the two of you finally settled into bed. Theo greedily snuggled up to your side while you ran your fingers through his hair. The affectionate gesture earned you a soft and happy little sigh of contentment.

“So, that secret,” you whispered in the dark. “Gonna tell me what you’re hiding from me, Teddy?” 

“Noooo, I can’t,” mumbled Theo as he nuzzled against your neck. 

You pulled away and poked his chest. “Tell me.” 

“Never!” 

“You.” Poke. 

“Know.” Poke. 

“You.” Another poke. 

“Want to.” 

Theo grabbed your wrists to cease the onslaught of attacks and pulled you closer instead. Watercolor eyes searched yours, expecting a hint of shyness and nerves that you usually would’ve displayed at such close proximity, but instead there was nothing but warmth and love in your eyes.

Eyes seeking one another, noses bumping together, lips nearly touching yet not quite. The precipice of a first kiss, but not really. In the back of his mind, he knew that the two of you had been here before. Theo leaned into your touch while you lovingly stroked his cheek. 

“Can I ask you a question, bella?” 

“Course, Teddy.” 

Theo swallowed, blinking away the silken night. “Are we…” His voice was lowered to a whisper, soft and gentle like a lover’s caress. “Are we dating?” 

A surge of disappointment speared his heart when you slowly shook your head. He suddenly wished he hadn't asked. It would've been nice to pretend for a moment longer. At least until he fell asleep. But then he had to ruin it by opening his big mouth. Theo took a shuddering breath, but the gentle kiss you pressed against his temple caused hope to rise up in him again.

“No, baby,” you corrected with a smile while waving your left hand in the air. “We’re engaged.” 

The diamond glittering brightly on your ring finger threatened to blind him even in the dark. How could he not have noticed? The damned thing had its own gravitational pull. Theo chuckled in disbelief as he inspected the familiar gold band encasing the six carat princess cut diamond, which was tastefully surrounded by a halo of smaller stones. His mother’s ring. 

Awe washed over him as he asked softly, gently, as though Theo was convinced that the revelation was too good to be true, “You’re my fiancée?”

“Mhm,” you murmured as you pressed a kiss to his cheek, his nose, his forehead. His chin trembled when you kissed him slowly. Theo savored the pressure of your lips against his, a sensation that was both new and old to him at the same time. Even without the alcohol, you had always felt like that to him. Familiar yet unknown all at the same time. You were a complete paradox that perplexed his every waking moment, but he loved every second of it.

The fact that you were engaged made him feel like the luckiest man in the world. Theo chased after your lips, peppering you with kisses over and over again, just because he could. In fact, Theo had a civil duty to smother you in as much affection and devotion as he possibly could. Salazar, how did he ever get anything done? All he wanted to do was to kiss you until you were sick of it.

You giggled while Theo lovingly nuzzled his nose against your cheek, basking in your affection and adoration like he was starved for it. “Tonight was your bachelor party, remember? I told the boys to go easy on you, but I should’ve known they wouldn’t listen.” 

Realization came flooding back to him. “We’re getting married tomorrow,” he said in reverence. “You’re going to be my wife.” 

You nodded, smiling wide and bright for him. Only him. “You’re going to be my husband.” 

Theo mirrored your expression, the smile brightening his entire face in the most breathtaking way. Merlin, he really was beautiful. “I guess I can tell you my secret then.” 

“Oh?” 

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.” 

You chuckled. “I’m in love with you too, Theo.” 

Theo caressed your cheek, his lips meeting yours in a soft kiss as he sighed dreamily. Godric, you loved him. Utterly and irrevocably so. You giggled as Theo greedily snuggled into you again, his big arms wrapping you in his warmth as he tangled his long legs with yours. 

“Good night, Mrs. Nott.”

“Good night, Teddy.” 

[giorno-plays-piano]

Safe Haven

Pairing: Mr. Crawling x reader

Warnings: canon-typical violence and gore (only a few mentions), pure fluff, Mr. Crawling being a cutie pie.

Words: 1k

Summary: Despite the horrors you saw in the other dimension, bringing one of them home actually seems like a good idea.

P.S. To all of you who love soft!yanderes, I recommend playing Homichiper IMMEDIATELY

_________

"I'm home. "

You turn the lock on the door, smiling from ear to ear when you hear hurried steps paired with a "clack" of a cane. Goodness, he's getting faster with every day, you think as you watch a walking giant wrapped into a fuzzy white bathrobe emerge from the corridor. His impossibly long hair is loose and a little damp, and for a second, it feels he came straight from a horror movie. It makes you laugh.

"Dear!"

He almost runs into you, his cane clicking aggressively against the floor, and you giggle like a schoolgirl on her first date. His embrace feels so warm, his gentle hands rubbing your back as he kisses the top of your head.

Everything about him feels like home.

"I cooked a potato soup," he breathes out, excited to share his little news, "and baked a meat pie! And then I read a book. And then me take bath..."

He gets a little red when he realizes his old speech patterns are getting back, but you're quick to divert his attention, dropping a kiss to his nose. Poor man gets even redder and kisses you, too, immediately helping you take off your coat and giggling with embarrassment. He's one weird gentleman but a gentleman, nonetheless.

"I'm glad you had a good day," you wink at him, picking up your grocery bag. Today, you bought his favorite tea, and you know how excited he will get to brew it himself.

When you escape a hollow, depraved world, even the simplest of things will make you weep. Once you have returned to your apartment, barely alive and scared to your wits' end, making a cup of tea felt like a miracle. It's hard to imagine how bizarre the whole concept seemed to poor Mr. Crawling, who probably ate nothing but human or monster remains for as long as he was there.

You no longer speak of what happened in the monster realm. Needless to say, it took some time to come to terms with your little adventure and its outcome being a giant skinny monster now inhabiting your apartment. Not that you were all that bothered with the latter... Especially when you realized Mr. Crawling was not, in fact, a monster.

When you think of it now, it seems kinda stupid on your part. You were turning into one of those creatures yourself the longer you stayed there, and yet, somehow, it didn't click your lovely monster partner was human once. That he, too, had been a lonely soul who got stuck in that hellish limbo and had to transform to survive.

It was a huge surprise when he actually started speaking human language after of couple of days at your place. You first thought you misheard him.

Of course, it took him a long time to remember what it's like to be human: you've spent months gently nudging him in that direction, talking to him like to a child, showing him books and cartoons, turning on music and doing pretty much anything to help him turn back into his older self. Mind you, you also had to keep working to sustain the both of you, given you had no other income, and do the chores because Mr Crawling was absolutely clueless what to do. He was more of an in-house cat than a person at the time.

Still, it felt liberating when your monster partner finally started regaining his human memories and habits. You probably won't ever forget when he crawled to you, reaching out shyly to squeeze your hands in his, and mumbled, "M-me think... me think me called Gabriel..."

"Enough salt?" He nudges you gently, and you blink, coming back to your senses. His meat pie is so good it's really not the time to be reminiscing of the past.

You cover his large pale hand with yours as you smile, "It's perfect."

Embarrassed, he nods, looking into his own plate as you take another bite, wondering how lucky you got. Who else could have not only left another dimension filled with unspeakable horrors but also dragged the cutest of them with you?

Fed up with you stalling, he bends over to you and drops a kiss to your nose once more, letting out a high-pitched giggle. His black hair close around you like a curtain: you didn't have the heart to tell him to cut it. Now that he has become almost completely human, you somehow miss his monster appearance.

"I love you," you say all of a sudden, unable to keep it to yourself. Enveloping him in a hug, you press your face into his chest, listening to the subtle beating of his heart he had lost once. His bathrobe feels fuzzy and warm on your skin.

He says nothing at all, but in a second, he gently lifts you up from the kitchen chair only to put you down on his lap: despite turning human, he still remains ridiculously tall and strong. Not that you complain, melting in his embrace as he rubs his nose against your temple, his tender hand on your back. Against all odds, there's nothing you dislike about him. Even putting aside all his heroic acts to protect you in the other world, he seems like a pure, gentle soul who would always prioritize your safety and comfort above all else. You can't understand why he chose to help you the moment he saw you, but you don't feel like it's important. All these months, your only mission was to give him home, to pay him back for everything he's done for your sake.

Yet, somehow, it feels like both of you found home in each other.

[astracora]

Poly!LADs headcanons - Caleb Edition

(Because I have no idea if I'll ever get around to writing his intro to the polycule so I wanted to shove some ideas into a post.)

Masterlist

- The one who has the most trouble adapting to the concept of the polycule.

- Reintroduced after the polycule is formed, a year after his death.

- His reintroduction is obviously a bit rough, not only is he actively combative with the MC, but his actions push them further into the comfort of the polycule like a wounded cat.

- After they have eased the relationship out, it's some time before they talk to him about the polycule. Not sure how to broach it.

- He already knew, and he already stewed about it for a long time. (He's still stewing about it.)

- They've mourned him, after loving him, and moved forwards though, he can't push and demand when he knows that without the polycule they likely wouldn't still be there.

- His first meeting is rough, he can hide as much as he wants behind smiles, but Sylus is very good at reading people, as is Rafayel, so they can see through him. (Rafayel is no stranger to fake smiles). Xavier is jealous so reacts most to Caleb, while Zayne is somewhat calm, but wary. On one hand he has a childhood friend back, on the other hand depending on how much he knows. If he knows about Caleb's involvement with EVER, a great deal of distrust, and some real anger (that he tries not to show).

- Clashes most with Rafayel and Zayne. Rafayel because the two are almost opposed in many ways (Caleb's lack of sensory input and reluctance to touch, vs Rafayel as a Lemurian where his senses are SO attuned to his lovers, as well as the memory focus, and also the fact that both hide part of themselves behind a reasonably jovial mask, but Raffy is a lot better at hiding.) Zayne because the two do not agree on the methods of protecting and caring for MC (Keeping them hidden/caged, and the actions of siding with EVER with the intent to keep MC safe (which Zayne consistently states is a stupid plan.)).

- Understands Xavier, still doesn't like him.

- Depending on the advancement of his story, he has the potential to come to terms with the fact that accepting help and acknowledging that he's not alone in his drive to protect the person who means the most to him, helps him step past his self assigned cage.

- With enough time and trust, he accepts the polycule's help tending to his arm. They tinker with it and work with specialists to try to make it capable of sensory responses. It's kind of an exchange that keeps them on good ground. A kind of 'look we're not enemies, you have to lower your hackles' kinda thing.

- He hates the situation a lot less when he holds MC's hand for the first time again, and can feel the heat of them through his cybernetics.

- Builds models with Sylus, though it's more he builds models, Sylus suggests ways to bring them to life as real mini robot weapons. If the two are left alone, they WILL create tiny weaponised planes.

- Rafayel has taken to using them as target practice for throwing daggers.

- One crashed into Zayne's office door, waking him up from a nap, and made him think they were being attacked.

- Xavier slept through the whole thing, and woke up to plane shrapnel in his hair (he's used his light blade to knock a few out if they have disturbed his slumber though.)

- MC does not get enough sleep, and almost banned the planes, until Sylus and Caleb both promised to stop flying them indoors. Hooked up lil cameras to the things and started flying them around linkon and as far as they could before the things ran out of signal. (They got some killer nature recordings.)

- Caleb is another member of the insomnia crew. He's woken up alongside Zayne a few times, and made tea for them both. (Only for MC to toddle in not long after, and curling up between them with their own warm drink, exhausted and miserable but also unable to sleep.)

- Caleb helps take over some of the cooking, he also tries to find tech Xavier can use that won't catch fire, reducing the amount of cooking incidents by about 50%. (If asked he'll say he's doing it to keep MC safe... Xavier's smile when he cooks a full and very good meal has shit all to do with it. He swears.)

- Is the most averse to affection, originally sees the polycule as a means to an end, after all other people are just background noise to his real focus. Unluckily for him, it's hard to keep that mindset up when you spend that much time with people who don't have chips in their head, and also don't want to hurt the things you care about. The anti EVER squad are best placed to combat his 'world for just us two' energy. As well as question his intent. (Especially with how important MC's independence is to them.)

- Will not begin physically and emotionally warming up to the rest of the lads before he finally overcomes the wall keeping him from MC. After he has finally stepped over the line, he basks in it, then begins to let himself become more human again.

- He and Xavier ARE the protection squad. You want to bother the polycule? Can't promise you won't end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

- Zayne does try to rein this in. Sylus finds it hilarious. Rafayel cannot comment because he was thinking about stabbing that dude too. MC thinks they might need to start taking migraine medication because please guys, one nice meal out.

- He's tidy and multi talented. It takes a WHILE before he finds a room for himself in the house, isn't really sure what to fill it with because he struggles to refind his identity as a person. It begins with filling it with model planes, it advances into photos and memories, as well as his DAA stuff as well. Becomes a place he can keep things that tether him to himself.

- Has mended clothes for the others, really wants to know how Raffy tears so many shirts. No he cannot get acrylics out of a white shirt, why did you let it stain!?!!

- His puppy dog eyes are a weapon of mass destruction. NO one is safe. All have fallen to those eyes. 'But he just looks so sad' 'I know he does but why does that mean we now have two puppies in the living room' 'MC wanted them!' 'Caleb we don't have the space or time!!!'

- Uses all his old social media accounts, like an absolute fool. (Aren't you dead dude why are you using all ur old numbers????) Unfollowed most people, kept MC. Didn't follow the polycule. Was missing cute photos and things they'd posted, grumpily and (not that) reluctantly followed them all.

- He and Zayne occasionally have a kamaoji-off.

- He has taken Sylus flying. He did turn his head away so the dragon man could have a moment of sad recollection.

- Does still compete constantly to be the best person to assist mc in their day to day. The competitions can get aggressive and over the top. The lads do get carried away.

- Is the most scared of losing everyone, it does keep him awake at night. Does plan eventualities with the polycule. Does feel comforted knowing that if he fails, he's not leaving MC to deal with everything alone. Assures himself and everyone that he won't fail. He has his tether to get back to, after all.

[stayfictionalforever]

let’s make a bet.

ship: Kraven the Hunter x GN reader

word count: 686

rating: SFW

TW/CW: None

summary: you take sergei to a place that you think he’ll love and when he doesn't seemed too amused he comes with up a way to make it more entertaining

“you thought I would like this?” sergei looked around. not only did you think he would like this, you thought he would be ecstatic at the idea of being a place where you could climb all day long.

“you like climbing!” you responded; as long as you knew him the man would climb anything be it a tree, a shelf or a building. “and this is a place where you can do that and i can do it with you but safely.” you knocked on the bright helmet you wore on your head.

sergei let out a laugh. you were relieved that the surprise wasn’t awful and that he was upset by it. “i do like climbing….” you nodded and gestured towards the plastic rock walls. “but i’m used to climbing trees or actual mountains.”

“don’t forget buildings.” you added. the memory of him climbing up your apartment building after you realized you forgot your wallet resurfaced. sergei rolled his eyes when you mentioned it. it was something you brought up often to tease him about. the shock of dating ‘kraven’ or ‘the hunter’ was gone but seeing him use his abilities in mundane situations was always a spectacle for you. “if you don’t want to do this we can leave and do something else.” you grabbed his hand. his hands were never silky smooth but you didn’t need them to be. you just needed to treasure the moments where you and him could be together because you knew it wouldn’t be long until sergei would be gone again.

sergei’s face developed a small smile. “let’s stay. we can climb the fake rocks.” your face beamed with joy. “but let’s make a bet.” bets with sergei were not uncommon. “we’ll race and first one to climb all the walls will decide what to have for dinner.”

you looked at him dumbfounded. he was the greatest hunter around and he wanted to compete with you in a race. sergei grinned proud of himself for coming up with the challenge. “ok we’ll race.” sergei let go of your hand and turned to the nearest rock wall ready to pounce. “but!” he turned back to you to see your conditions of the race. “you have to keep your eyes closed the entire time and I get a five minute headstart.” sergei’s blue eyes stared you down. you felt content with yourself that your conditions seemed to stump sergei for a moment.

“fine, i agree to these terms.” sergei stuck out his hand to shake on it and you took his hand. the stare down would’ve kept going but you broke when you decided to pull sergei in for small kiss.

“my head start counts when i’m actually at the wall!” you pulled away from the kiss and ran towards the nearest rock wall. sergei threw his head back in laughter amused by your running.

☆ later ☆

“it was close.” sergei said as he unclipped the clasp for your helmet. “you got pretty far with your head start.” his statement was true in the five minutes you had you did pretty good for someone who was new to rock climbing. you unclipped the clasp to the harness.

“you freaked people out when you were climbing without any equipment and your eyes closed.”

sergei shook his head. “they were freaked out in the beginning but by the end they were cheering.” he then mimed the people cheering for him by pretending to yell.

“i cheered for you too!” sergei’s expression showed he didn’t fully believe you. “i cheered for you once i realized that you were way ahead of me.” though you lost the experience was fun for you. “i really did think you would enjoy this. thank you for trying it out for me.”

sergei’s victorious glow faded for a moment. “i enjoy every moment with you and i would do try anything for you.”

both of you smiled. “i’ll have that same energy for whatever you decide to have for dinner.” you told him. sergei wrapped his arm around you as you both started walking towards the exit.

☆ end ☆

author's note: my first ever x reader fic!!! I hope you enjoyed it!!!

[keiscorner]

thinking about... boyfriend!haikyuu things

haikyuu boys as stupid cute things my boyfriend does for me

✧ feat. tsuikshima, oikawa, bokuto, kenma!

warnings: pure fluff and nothing else, g/n reader!

a/n: my warmup into writing again! it's been a few years so i'm very rusty T-T

✧ tsukishima — has always had a good memory. he remembers the things you like and thousands of tiktoks you send him every day, and will plan accordingly for your next date. if you tell him you like strawberries? he will take you strawberry picking the next weekend. he likes the look on your face when you realize he remembered and how excited you are. of course, if you make a big deal out of it, he'll just shrug it off. "do you want to go or not?" (the sassy man apocalypse started with him) he thinks, that's just what good boyfriends should do of course. it's nothing to write home about.

✧ oikawa — gets into a "i love you", "i love you more", "i love you the most" argument with you every time you say i love you. he knows he loves you the most, because how could he not? you understand him. however, you ultimately gaslight/confuse him into saying that you love him the most. he pouts. (he requires a kiss to "mend his broken heart after being manipulated by the love of his life.") tooru oikawa invented the term drama queen. you are the sappiest couple alive and you love every second of it, congrats! it makes the team sick to their stomachs.

✧ bokuto — tries to buy you everything you look at for more than a second. when you gasp at your phone or say something like "i want this", he will pounce on you to look at your phone. he just wants to spoil you! he thinks that you're so perfect for him, so obviously that you should get anything you could ever want. you have to remind him that you're both still young and don't have infinite amounts of money. but like the cutie he is, he will show up at your door the next day with a haphazardly wrapped present. (he did his best. and his best was amazing.) what's inside you ask? nothing other than the thing you told him about yesterday!

✧ kenma — gets excited to play when you decide to game with him, since you don't get on very often. he's logged on and already warmed up half an hour ahead of time so he can play his best. he obviously has to impress you, no matter how long the two of you have been dating. if he sees someone shit talking you in game, he'll pull out profanities you've never even heard of. (unrelated i think he loves giving you forehead kisses. he's just that kind of guy. SO PERFECT MWAHAHA) he loves spending time with you in any way possible, but this is one of his favorites.

[yoongelectric]

Up and Down - Ben Shelton

summary: you get stuck in an elevator with the one that got away

genre: super fluffy, angst, smut, exes to lovers

warnings: pet names, unprotected sex, p in v, breeding kink, fingering, nipple play, riding, i think that’s it…

It has been more than a year since your breakup with Ben, your relationship had started innocently, when he came to your house to hang out with your brother, and you stole glances at each other when he was distracted, Ben secretly looked forward to those rare occasions when you spent time with them, when you watched movies together and if he was lucky maybe you would lay your head on his shoulder, or when the three of you had to go grocery shopping and you would seat in the passenger seat next to him, or when in the middle of a conversation he made you laugh. one day he decided that he wanted to be able to experience those things every day so he asked you out, one date turned into two and soon you were inseparable, your brother used to half joke about how you had stolen his best friend and threatened Ben saying that if he ever hurt you he would beat him up.

But all good things come to an end, they say, and after two years of dating, Ben's career began to get in the way, long training sessions and constant trips made it impossible for you two see each other. On top of that, you were no longer the main priority in Ben's mind, not showing up on dates or forgetting important days became more and more usual for him. So one day with pain in your heart you decided to end things, you knew that you both loved each other, and although it was probably one of the hardest things you had ever done you knew it was the best for both of you, you didn't want him to pay less attention to his career now that it was starting to take off, but you weren't going to sacrifice your happiness just to wait for him to have time for you.

You're doing fine, you're studying the career of your dreams, you have a good job, a quiet life and wonderful friends who help you not think about Ben, and maybe that's the reason why you’re doing fine, you don't think about ben, you don't see ben, the only news you have about him is when your brother proudly tells you how well he's doing in tennis, and it makes you happy, it's what you always wanted for him, to be successful in what he loves the most, but when you're alone with your thoughts you can't help but think about how things would be if you had fought more for your love, what it would be like to live your joys together, and support each other when things were not so good, but you convince yourself that you are better off this way, because you’ll never know if you would’ve been able to overcome that rough patch in your relationship.

and here you are, getting ready for your brother's birthday, he had told you earlier that Ben was going to be there and you had psychologically prepared yourself all afternoon for the moment you would see him for the first time since you broke up, you told everyone that it was fine, you’d ended up things on good terms and you didn't hold a grudge against him, you didn't feel anything for ben other than a nice memory, but secretly you were wearing just his favorite color, you had styled your hair the way you knew he liked it and you had looked at your outfit in the mirror hundreds of times hoping ben would find you attractive, there are things that never change at the end of the day.

The night was going smoothly, when Ben arrived you greeted him politely with a slight smile and continued having small talk with your aunt, obviously the questions didn't take long to come, what happened for you to broke up? Was there anyone else? How does it feel to see him here? You avoided them as best you could but they left you feeling an uncomfortable pang in your chest. The night went by and each drink made you overthink your decisions over and over again, so you decided to say goodbye to your closest circle and return home before doing something you would regret.

When they were about to close completely, the elevator doors opened up again, letting in ben’s tall figure, who looked at you surprised, with a pleased smile, you're not sure if that was the same expression he received from you.

"Hey, y/n, leaving already? We didn't have much chance to talk there" Ben tried to break the ice.

"Yeah, I have a bit of a headache so I preferred to go home" you lied, obviously you wouldn't tell him that you couldn't stand seeing him and not being together.

"oh i understand, maybe you need some sleep"

"yeah maybe..." you tried to say something else but you didn't really know what, you fell into an awkward silence, unusual for the two of you.

and as if life was playing a joke on you, you felt the elevator stop, you pressed the button for the ground floor several times but it was useless, you wouldn’t move.

"We can't be stuck here," you said, switching between pressing the stop and go button and the one for the floor you were going to.

"Relax, I'll call your brother so he’ll tell the maintenance guys."

The call gave you two the worst news, no one would go that late at night on a saturday to fix an elevator, so you would have to wait for the system to work again.

The two of you sat on the floor in silence, looking at the ceiling, at the floor anywhere but at each other, it was strange how something as familiar as being alone together now produced such discomfort inside you.

you heard ben laugh bitterly

"What's so funny?" You asked, playing with your necklace, an old habit you had when you were nervous.

"Nothing, I just never thought I'd need to be stuck in an elevator to be alone with you."

His remark making you feel even more uneasy.

"I don't think that's the case" you avoided his comment, looking away.

"y/n, I'm not stupid, I see that you're nervous, I know it bothers you being here with me" he paused to look at you for the first time in several minutes "I'm surprised that this is what we are like now"

"It doesn't bother me being here with you, Ben, it bothers me not knowing what to do."

"what do you mean?"

"You were literally my person for two years, we always connected on another level, and now we can't have a conversation for 5 minutes, I hate feeling like I don't know you"

"y/n, you are the one who’s been avoiding me all night, pretending you don't know me when you are the person who knows me best in the world" Ben approached you trying to hold your hand gently "I know it's my fault, I was the one who lost you, but things don't have to be like this"

"but they are, there’s nothing to do" you finally looked at him "some things belong to the past"

"I miss you, Y/n, I miss us, I know I didn't take care of you like I should have, but I don't think that our relationship is something of the past, I can fix things you know."

"There is nothing to fix, you have other priorities in life and that's okay, I'm not going to get in the way of your career"

"do you ever think about me?, tell me the truth, because I think about you all the time, every time I win a match and you’re the first person i wanna call, or when I watch some movie that you like and I remember the comments you would make, specially at night when the bed feels too big" Ben moved even closer to you "please tell me you still think about me, y/n”

"i do, but that doesn't matter-" your words were cut off by ben's lips on yours

He held you by the neck, kissing you as if he’d never had to stop doing it, the kiss felt intense, full of emotions that hadn’t surfaced for a whole year.

"It does matter, Y/N, before we didn't know how to handle things, but maybe now we can" Ben murmured against your lips.

"What if we can't? I don't want to feel like someone you only remember when you have nothing else to do again" A single tear fell down your cheek, which Ben was quick to wipe away with his thumb while holding your face.

"You were never that for me, y/n, it was a difficult time and i neglected you, i admit that, but I swear that will never happen again, i know how it feels like to loose you completely". ben smiled sadly

This time it was you who leaned in to kiss him, the desperation of finding something to hold onto to believe him invading your senses, Ben grabbed your waist trying to stick you to him but the position you were in, sitting side by side, made it impossible.

"Can you come here?" He patted his lap so you sat on top of him.

When you straddled him you felt his arms wrap you in a hug, clinging you to him as if even the slightest distance hurt him. He laid his head on your shoulder, inhaling the scent of your hair. You stayed like that for a while until he looked up again, his eyes full of love.

"god, you're so beautiful, i missed you"

“I missed you too, you have no idea” you pouted as you ran your hand through his brown curls, a habit that lingered over time.

You felt him reach out to kiss your neck, leaving wet kisses all over your sensitive spots, Ben's movement taking you aback momentarily but making you loose yourself in him right away, your hand in his hair caressing and gently pulling his locks as your back arched over his chest.

His hands came down to grab your hips, pressing you onto his growing erection, making you moan softly.

"Sorry, tell me to stop if you want" Ben whispered, kissing the skin the neckline of your top left visible.

"Please don't" you said looking down.

“good,” you heard ben grunt as he rolled your skirt up and grabbed your bare ass, urging you to buck your hips onto his, and again, and again, his hands guiding your movements hard onto it, his hard cock feeling so good against your clothed clit, but the friction quickly feeling too little. You gently bit his shoulder, pressing harder on him, but it was useless.

"ben, please, i need more"

Ben looked into your eyes, smiling devilishly, he raised your hips slightly to have easy access to your pussy, running a finger all over it, your hips pushed down onto his finger, your back arching, head falling back and your hands resting on his shoulders needing to grab something.

“ben, take them off” you said making him look up and kissing him again.

He pushed your panties to the side, without removing them yet, he poked a finger at your entrance trying to collect your wetness, hissing at the amount of your juices he found there.

"shit, I want to fuck you so bad"

Ben looked at you once more, lips red and swollen from his ministrations, your hair messy and a slight shine in your eyes.

"then do it, baby, I can't wait, Ben" this time you were the one who went down to kiss his neck, sucking hard, you were sure to leave marks but at this moment you didn't care, you felt Ben's hand twitch on your hip and a growl escape his mouth, it was amazing how after a year being apart you still knew all his weak points, maybe because you were one yourself

"Not yet, princess, we have to get you ready."

"Ok, but make it quick, what if the elevator starts working again?"

Ben laughed softly "we'll have to continue in my bed then."

You smiled at him but your face turned into one of pleasure when Ben began to draw figure eights on your pussy, keeping your hips still so he could please you just the way he wanted.

"Take off your top, baby" as soon as you left your breasts bare, Ben's mouth attacked them, skillfully licking your nipples, sucking and letting his teeth delicately graze that sensitive area.

Ben slid two fingers into your entrance, pumping them in and out reaching all the places inside you that made you see stars, his other hand releasing your hip as he licked his thumb to circle your clit.

You were making a mess on his fingers and you could hear the noise of your wetness getting pushed in and out of you.

"ben, it’s okay, fuck me, please, I need you, I need your cock"

ben nodded his head releasing his dick from its confinement, you suddenly remembered his size, once he was inside of you, you felt perfectly full, stretched, but it was true that it had taken you a few months during your relationship to get used to his length and girth.

"you ready, pretty?" You nodded and looked at him, legs spread, leaning back slightly, giving his member a few strokes before he grabbed you to help you sit on his cock he looked so attractive you couldn't think about anything else.

you let his dick in inch by inch, but halfway through you felt it was too much, the stretch hurting between your legs.

your face of discomfort didn’t go unnoticed by ben

"y/n are you okay? did I hurt you or something?" He spoke worriedly while holding your waist to help you support your own weight.

You nodded and rested your head on the crook of his neck before speaking, a little embarrassed

"I'm fine, it's just that, your dick is big and I haven't had..." you looked at him with reddened cheeks.

"since we broke up?" Ben asked trying to sound understanding, but the smile he had to contain was noticed by you.

"don't smile like that, I just need to adjust to the size, be a little patient with me"

"all the patience in the world, love, just tell me when you're ready" he gave a soft peck on your shoulder.

"can you take this off?" you asked as you grabbed the hem of his shirt.

Ben removed the garment in one motion allowing you to cling onto his skin, breathing through your nose and taking in the rest of him.

“you’re doing great, y/n, just tell me when you can move.”

The pain soon turned into pleasure and you soon began to feel that need for more friction in your lower stomach, you moved your hips up until only the tip was inside and you let yourself fall, Ben's deep growl making your walls tighten around his cock, you repeated your movements over and over again until your legs began to shake, his mouth changing between kissing your breasts, your neck or your lips, soon neither of you had the energy for anything but trying to reach your climaxes, holding each other and moaning into each other's mouths, you were so close but your legs had less and less strength.

"ben, can you?-"

A scream escaped your mouth when Ben placed his heels on the floor and, holding your hips, began to fuck you right in that delicious pace that he’d always known how to give you.

"Is this what you wanted, beautiful? you wanted me to fuck you good?"

"gosh, ben, so so so good, I missed this so much"

"I missed you, I love you so much"

Ben held you close, so lovingly, contrasting with the violent thrusts he was giving your pussy over and over again.

The knot in your stomach formed quickly and white spots appeared around your eyes.

"love, I'm close" your hips began to meet his movements, your clit rubbing against Ben's pelvis making your head spin.

“let go, cum for me, tell me, y/n, who makes you feel this good?”

The tension in your stomach snapped, your entire body shivered and all the nerves in your body woke up, you made a mess of juices on his dick.

"Shit, Ben you make me feel this good, there's no one like you."

You didn't know what you were saying, you were just thinking about the time you’d missed all of this, the time you lost each other.

When you came down from your high, Ben started his thrusts again, becoming more erratic and his moans less controlled.

"y/n I'm gonna cum, where do you want it?"

Your head was full of possibilities, but you felt so good like this, so comfortable, so safe, that you didn't want to move, you didn't want to lose contact.

"Finish inside, I don't want you to get out of me, Ben"

"damn, you're the best thing that ever happened to me"

Ben's hips stopped inside you, pressing hard as you felt his white seed paint your walls.

His head fell onto your shoulder with a grunt of pleasure and exhaustion, hugging you tightly, as if you were going to disappear if he didn’t hold you close. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his head, enjoying the contact that you’d only now realized how much you missed.

“I love you, Ben, i’m sorry for leaving like that,” you whispered in his ear.

"I let you go, I should have never ever taken you for granted, y/n, please be mine again."

You grabbed his head to make him look at you and you left a tender kiss on his cheek.

"I think all this shows you that my answer is yes"

"Thank you, baby, I swear you won't regret it, I'll take care of you the way you deserve"

"I know I won't regret it, love."

tiredness began to take over you, so Ben gently took you away from him, telling you to get dressed, that he would wake you up when the elevator worked again.

and you don't know when that happened, but the next morning you woke up clinging to him in his bed, right where you should have always been.

[amfstargirl]

Details of half return

The narrative starts with y/n going back to their old house, where they start with reminiscing about memories from their old home. They admire every mark they left in their home when they were a kid not knowing that was the last time they were gonna live and make memories there. It's also a perfect situation where you can relate to Adrianne Lenker's lyrics, specifically in which she says, “standing in the yard, dressed like a kid,” which indicates a moment of nostalgia. To me, this song is highly associated with missing the innocence, youth, childhood, or simply who you were in the past.

 If you're wondering why the reader goes to their old house, it's because it's a way of letting go for them. As they have said in the story that it was a way of letting go and mourning that version of them. Because you can never really let go if you're not mourning/did not mourn even the slightest.They saw it as a necessary step in the process of growing and becoming a new person.

In the old house scene, you can see the memory of the reader, where they see the life they want in the lives of others, making them yearn for that. The space between two windows, reader and their neighbor, indicates or symbolizes their current life (reader's window), while the other mirrors the life they long for (neighbor's window), like a window to their desired reality. So watching the Barbie movies/shows through their neighbor was them actually watching the life they wish for. 

Also, the puppy she found on a random day while she was alone. The puppy is a symbolic object of the reader. As you saw in the first scene where they both first met, it was said that the puppy was just crying for its mother and father, hoping, waiting. (That's eerily familiar, don't you think?) And! The reader named the puppy “Amara,” which, if I'm not mistaken, means forever loved, which she is. Amara was a mirror of y/n's soul. And y/n treated them the way they have always wanted to be treated. 

But Amara is not a mirror to the current reader's soul. Do you get it? Because Amara was the symbol of the past version of them, which means they were the beacon of youth Y/N once had. Amara staying and waiting within the walls of where they both grew up just connects to y/n’s journey of letting go. That is why when the reader saw her, whispered gently to her and reassured her that it was okay, that she could rest now. representing readers' way of saying goodbye to the old y/n and letting them rest. The scarred innocent of their younger self is now free from the heavy pain of the things they went through. 

The scene where the reader “made up” with their mother and the fact that their mother admitted she never hated them that much but couldn't confirm that she didn't entirely hate them is SO important. It was a moment where their mother finally acknowledged her faults and apologized bitterly but with sincerity. She was very honest in that scene, as she knew that was what you needed and wanted. No sugar-coated words, only the truth. Also the fact that they made up, but it was also going to be the last time they would see each other!! Because the reader cut them off on good terms, and that was the final step in making peace with everything that was part of their past. 

Also, if yall were wondering how the reader “moved on” with the Bat family, it was actually the first ever step they took in making peace with their past. As their way of doing it was just accepting. Accepting that they will never see them as family, and they will never be interested in them in any way. (Guess who got clowned.)

And Alfred, who was driven by his own selfish desires. Now we all know that it was Alfred who took care of the reader the moment they got to the manor, so naturally it would be Alfred who first spiraled into yanderism. I like the idea of Alfred; despite wanting what's best for the reader and what makes her happy, he is still a yandere. And that means he still has traits of a yandere, which is what made him come up with a heavily detailed plan. 

[nightowl9914]

The Quiet Between Us

Word Count: 2183

Requested from @foxycrafterofgreenwood (Thank you for putting in a request! Eeek hope you enjoy it! It's my first ever request and so a little nervous haha)

Summary: Y/N L/N wasn’t SWAT. She didn’t wear a badge, carry a gun, or kick down doors—but she was the one who held the team together. 💘💔

Y/N L/N had always been a force—soft-spoken, warm-hearted, and plus-size in a world that didn’t always make room for her.

She wasn’t a SWAT officer. She wasn’t built like Chris or trained like Deacon. But she kept the gears of the team running. From behind the desk at SWAT HQ, she managed reports, balanced logistics, and knew the whole team's coffee orders by memory. She was the one who left sticky notes on Tan’s locker, reminding him of his dentist appointment, and who made sure Luca’s birthday didn’t go unnoticed.

She didn’t wear tactical gear, but she wore kindness like armor.

And that? That was why the team loved her.

Street loved her harder than he’d ever loved anyone.

Hondo’s mama adored her so fiercely she introduced her as “my other daughter.” Which made Y/N feel loved and kind of adopted into the family.

Hondo himself had taken one look at her helping an injured witness with the calm of a trained medic and decided, Yeah, she’s family now.

But that didn’t mean she was safe from people like Officer Ron Blair. Blair had been around for over a decade. Passed over for promotions. Overshadowed by younger, sharper, better men. Watching SWAT from a distance, bitter and tired.

When Y/N showed up and started earning the team’s love—he hated it. She wasn’t a cop. She wasn’t “fit.”

She wasn’t someone the team should have taken seriously.

So how the hell was she at every BBQ? Why did Hondo trust her? Why was Street, golden-boy SWAT, always hanging around her desk with that look in his eyes?

Jealousy rotted in his gut. And the more she smiled, the more he wanted to destroy it.

▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎

Y/N noticed first. The way Blair stood too close. The way he stared when she reached for something. How he smirked when she walked by, not even bothering to hide it.

“Wanna get a drink sometime? I don’t mind a woman with curves,” he’d said once with a grin. She laughed it off. Politely. She always had to be polite.

Because women like her—plus-size, kind, not officers—had to try harder to be respected. Had to walk the tightrope between confident and “too much.”

She told herself it was fine. But the unease wouldn’t leave.

She didn’t tell Street. Didn’t tell Hondo.

She didn’t want to be a problem. Didn’t want to seem dramatic.

Didn’t want to be the fat girl who couldn’t take a compliment.

▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎

She’d had enough by that Thursday. Her chest felt tight. The air in HQ had been too loud, too bright, too much. Street had texted earlier, offering to come by after shift.

“Long day. Just want to be alone tonight,” she replied.

Another lie. She just didn’t want him to see her falling apart. She barely made it through her front door before the tears started.

She didn’t see the car parked down the street. Didn’t hear the footsteps until the knock came.

“Hey sweetheart,” he said, voice low. She froze at the door. “Blair. What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t answer my messages.” He said while leaning against the doorframe.

“I never gave you my number.” She replied, trying to hold her nerves

He smiled. “Precinct phone directory. Easy.”

Her stomach dropped. “You need to leave.”

“You think they actually care about you?” he said, stepping forward. “You think Street actually wants someone like you long-term?”

“Stop,” she said, voice shaking.

“I’ve seen the way they pat you on the shoulder like you’re some cute mascot. They laugh at you behind your back, you know that, right?”

She tried to slam the door. He forced it open.

▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎

She fought.

God, she fought. Scratched his face. Slammed her knee into his ribs. But he was faster. Angrier. He threw her onto the ground, hands clamped around her throat.

“You’re just a distraction,” he hissed. “Too soft. Too big. Too stupid to see what they really think.”

She tried to scream. But his hand stole the sound.

▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎

Hondo had been trying to reach Y/N all evening. He’d texted her earlier to ask if she was still planning to come to Sunday dinner with him and his mama—something she never missed.

No reply.

At first, he figured she was busy. Maybe napping. But after the fifth call went to voicemail, that uneasy feeling in his gut started to gnaw at him.

Y/N always answered by the third ring—even half-asleep.

Something wasn’t right.He didn’t waste time before calling Street.

The younger man answered immediately, voice tense. “Hondo?”

“She’s not picking up,” Hondo said, cutting to the chase. “Texted her about dinner. Called five times. Straight to voicemail.”

Street stopped pacing, silence crackling between them.

“She said she needed the night to herself,” he said quietly. “Said she was fine.”

“Yeah, well…” Hondo’s voice dropped. “She’s not answering. And you know her. That’s not fine.”

Street’s jaw clenched.

“Where are you?” Hondo asked.

“On my way to her place.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

No more words. Just motion.

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They found her on the floor.

Bruised. Bleeding.

Unmoving.

Street’s scream split the air. He dropped to his knees, pulling her into his arms. “Y/N! Please—baby—come on, stay with me—”

Hondo was calling for medics, barking orders, but everything sounded far away.

Street couldn’t stop shaking. “She lied to me,” he whispered. “She told me she was okay.”

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She coded once. Street didn’t breathe until she came back.

He sat by her bed for thirty-six hours, only moving when Hondo forced him to shower.

The nurses whispered about him. The way he looked at her was like she was his whole world.

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The team’s rage was nuclear. Chris wanted to find who did this.

Deacon looked like someone had sucker-punched him.

Luca swore out loud in front of Hicks.

Tan stared at the wall for ten minutes before muttering, “She didn’t feel safe telling us.”

And Hondo—Hondo didn’t say much.

But when they found Blair, hiding in a motel, it was Hondo who cuffed him. Calm. Controlled. Eyes like ice.

“I hope you remember her face when they lock you up,” he said.

▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎

Street was there. Sitting at her bedside, fingers tangled gently with hers, as if letting go would break her all over again. His eyes were red, lips pressed in a thin line, trying to stay strong—failing.

He’d been crying silently for hours. “You’re safe now,” he whispered, voice thick with emotion. “You’re safe, baby. I got you.”

Y/N stirred faintly.

Her head turned, just enough to face him. Her throat flexed as she tried to speak, a raw sound catching in her chest, but pain lanced through her—sharp and deep. She winced, breath hitching.

Street shot upright, eyes full of both relief and panic. “Shhh, baby, don’t—don’t try to talk,” he whispered, thumb brushing gently over her bruised cheek. “I got you. Thank God. You’re okay now.”

Tears slid down her face. Not just from the pain—but from his voice. From the tenderness of his touch. From the memory of hands that weren’t his. Of a voice that didn’t soothe—it threatened.

Street leaned forward and pressed his forehead gently to hers. His hand cradled the side of her face like she was something fragile and sacred.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s okay, baby. I’m right here.”

Her fingers twitched against his. Then again—tapping softly.

Street blinked, pulling back. “What is it?”

Her hand moved—slow, trembling—reaching toward the bedside tray. Her eyes were glassy but focused, locked on the small notepad beside the water cup.

Street grabbed it instantly, sliding it into her hand along with the pen.

She gripped it weakly, every movement labored. He held the paper steady while she scribbled, shaky and slow.

One word. Blair.

Street stared at the name. His face paled.

His breath left his lungs like he'd been punched. “Jesus…”

Her lip quivered. More tears came. Her whole body shook from the effort, from fear, from shame.

Street reached down again, cupping her face with both hands now.

“No. No, don’t you dare carry this alone,” he whispered fiercely, forehead pressing to hers again. “You survived him. You’re here. And now I know.”

His jaw clenched. His next words were quiet—but full of fire.

“I’m gonna make sure he never touches anyone again.”

And this time, when she closed her eyes… She wasn’t afraid. She knew she’d never be alone again.

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In the weeks following her release from the hospital, Street refused to let Y/N go home alone.

She tried to protest—tried to say she’d be fine, that she didn’t want to be a burden—but he wouldn’t hear it. Not after what she’d been through. Not after nearly losing her.

He’d fought Hondo on it, too. Hard.

“She needs quiet. Rest. Familiar surroundings,” Hondo argued, trying to keep things steady for her.

Street had shaken his head, firm. “She needs me. She needs someone next to her when the nightmares come back. Someone who knows exactly how bad it got.”

In the end, Hondo relented—because he trusted Street. And because deep down, he knew Y/N did feel safest with him.

So she stayed.

At Street’s apartment, wrapped in warmth and quiet and soft lighting. He cooked for her. Helped her dress the wounds she couldn’t reach. Sat on the floor outside the bathroom door when she had panic attacks and couldn’t step into the shower.

He never once made her feel small for it. And when the trial came?

When the subpoenas came in and Blair’s lawyers pushed to discredit her testimony.

Y/N’s hands had trembled. Her voice cracked. But she still stood.

Still got on that witness stand and gave her statement—broken in places, raw and stammering—but full of truth. Her fingers clenched Street’s hand right before she entered the courtroom, and he’d whispered, “You don’t have to be perfect. Just be real. That’s more than enough.”

And she was. She told them what Blair did.

She spoke through the pain, the flashbacks, the fear that crawled under her skin and settled in her lungs.

And when it was over? When she stepped down, shaking and pale?

Street met her outside the courtroom with open arms and tears in his eyes.

“You did it,” he whispered into her hair. “You told the truth. And you never have to carry it alone again.”

And for the first time in weeks—maybe months—she felt a little lighter.

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Y/N didn’t return to work right away.

It wasn’t fear that kept her away—she wasn’t hiding.

It was time.

Time to heal. To breathe again without flinching. To relearn how to exist in a world that had gone quiet and violent all at once.

Her body ached in places she hadn’t known could hurt. Her ribs burned every time she moved too fast or laughed too hard. But Street was there. Every hour. Every step.

He helped her sit up when the pain was sharp. Walked with her down the hallway when her legs trembled. Held her through the nights when she woke gasping—his arms around her before she could fall apart completely.

He never asked for space. Never made her feel like too much.

He stayed.

And the team—they didn’t disappear either.

Luca sent a different dog meme every morning without fail, each one worse than the last, and she loved them.

Chris came by with cupcakes she didn’t pretend were “guilt-free.” She just set them on the table and said, “Sweet things for someone who survived something bitter.”

Deacon prayed for her—and with her, when she let him.

Tan showed up with a tote bag full of teas from around the world. “For sleep,” he’d said. “For calm. For comfort.”

And Hondo? Hondo didn’t bring anything.

He just came.

Sat on her porch beside her in the quiet—sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for hours—watching the street in silence, letting her be.

And in that stillness, in their wordless understanding… She started to believe that she’d make it through.

▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎▶︎

The moment the elevator doors slid open, Y/N froze.

The entire SWAT team was waiting for her in the lobby.

Street stood at the front, his expression caught somewhere between a grin and a tear. He held a bouquet of her favorite flowers—slightly wilted, like he’d been too nervous to pick the perfect ones, but that only made them more hers.

Beside him, Luca was practically bouncing with energy, holding up a giant handmade sign painted in uneven block letters: “HQ ISN’T HQ WITHOUT YOU.” There were smudges of marker on his cheek.

Chris gave her a knowing smile, soft and proud. Tan gave a quiet nod, like he knew this moment cost her something.

Deacon’s eyes were glassy.

And Hondo—Hondo didn’t say much.

He just stepped forward, arms open wide, steady as ever.

“Come home,” he said, voice low and sure.

Y/N didn’t try to hold back the tears this time.

She stepped forward—ribs still sore, heart still fragile—and into Hondo’s embrace.

And just like that…

She came home.

[the---hermit]

My Study Method

I have quickly mentioned my study method in several posts through the years but I don't think I have ever written a proper post about it, so here it is.

I have to say that overall my study method is quite time consuming, but in years of experience it's what works best for the type of learner I am, the materials I have to study and the type of exams I have. I believe these three elements are the fundamental things you should figure out when creating your own study method. Let's go over these things quickly. Firstly I am an history student, tho not all my exams are history based (I have taken some language, philosophy, anthropology and litterature classes) so my method is proofed for most humanities. I am a learner with terrible memory, if you give me a list of things to learn by heart expect me to fail because my brain simply cannot do that. So I have to train myself to learn things when studying for an exam. As for the type of matherials I have to work with when studying for an exam, they are mostly full non fiction books, sometimes I have to work on articles as well, and depending on the class I have lectures to attend.

The fundamental element of my study method are the notes I write. That's why in my daily posts I am constatly mentioning them. The lectures I attend are turned into notes, the books and articles I have to read are turned into notes, everything you leave me with for too long will be turned into notes. The very act of writing is what truly helps me get into the topic, understand it, and memorize it. I might write an indepth post on how I write notes in the future, but for now what you must know is that the goal of my notes is to be the only material I actually study in the end. As I mentioned the very act of writing is itself a huge part of my study process. When I am listening to a lecture I try to write down notes as tidy as possible, and then try to fix them at home if needed. So there's not much to say there, as for the materials I have to read here's how I do it. When I get a book I have to study I usually read a chapter and underline all the important bits that I will be transferring to my notes as I am reading. When I am done with the chapter and have the topic still fresh in mind I write down by hand all my notes. The goal is to write everything I need to know, in a direct and easy way using my own words. By re-elaborating the original text I am making sure I am not blindly copying things, and actually understanding stuff. Once the entire book has gone through this process, the book goes back on the shelf and as I said I only work on my notes from then one.

Once I have all my notes ready a long time has probably passed, but in reading and writing I have already started to memorize things in general. I try to highlight my notes as I am writing, but in case I don't I go back once I am done writing, doing a quick reread and highlighting important stuff. I usually use two different colours: yellow for the important dates and another colour for the other informations. At this point there's two more steps left. Repeating and writing key words.

If writing notes can be counted as half of my studying, repeating outloud is the second half. Since I have oral exams I have to make sure I am comfortable with exaplaining things, showing I have understood things and I am not just midlessly reciting a list, and using the right terms. I am a very lucky person because my dad is both retired and quite interested in the topics that I study, which means that I get a lot of help from him in this phase of studying, because basically what I do is following him around the house for a few days exaplaining my notes to him. If you do not have someone to annoy with your study, talking to yourself works too but you have to speak outloud and honestly pretend you are giving a lecture. If you just go over your notes and read them it is not the same thing, it's way less effective. I usually do two rounds of repeating. The first one looks a lot more like reading and saying things outloud in my own words. By the second one I am usually much more comfortable with informations so I have my notes there only to guide me through topics making sure I don't miss anything. Having someone who actively listents to you is definitely a bonus because if they ask you questions they challenge you in the exact same way an oral exam does, and you make sure your exaplainations are as clear as possible.

The very last step is going through my notes one last time with the goal of writing a long list of key words. This is a tool I specifically use to review things quickly the day of the exam. Usually during my commute I reread the list of words in my head and I mentally make sure I remember about everything.

As mentioned this is a longer study method but it truly locks things in your brain, and paying that much attention to note writing also makes them a tool that lasts in time. If I am interested in the informations of any of the books I read during my degree I can pick the notebook in which I wrote those notes and find the information right away without even having to open the actual book. I usually dedicate a whole notebook to each book, in order to archive and find them easily. I will be writing a specific post on the way I write notes, maybe including a few pictures, but in the meantime I hope this was somewhat helpful.

[xmenloganx]

Between the Lines of Hatred (Part 1)

Hey everyone! This is my very first fanfic, and it's an enemies-to-lovers story featuring Logan x Reader / Y/N . (Who doesn’t love a little enemies-to-lovers banter, right?) I hope you all enjoy.

Background Info: Y/N's in her mid-20s with a healing factor not as rapid as Logan’s, but effective over time. Her mutation, (dreamwalking) grants her the ability to step into and control the dreams of others. She can alter the dream world, uncover hidden memories or knowledge, and even replicate abilities witnessed within the dream. She can also turn the dream into a weapon locking someone inside a nightmare they can’t escape.

Warnings: cussing, sensitive topics, choking, minors please DNI

PS: future chapters WILL include smut.

Between The Lines of Hated Part 2

Summary: You and Logan couldn’t stand each other.

Don’t get it wrong...you were a sweetheart. You’d been working at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters for years before Logan ever showed up. The kids absolutely adored you! you were their favorite professor. And you felt the same way about them. They were your safe haven. A comforting distraction from the harsh reality you came from. A family who saw your differences not as gifts, but as something to be ashamed of. Their words were laced with hate, and their acceptance was something you’d long given up hoping for. So you left, choosing to start a new life somewhere you could truly belong—a place where people were more like you, and where you could be accepted for who you really are. A mutant.

You shared a close bond with your colleagues. Storm, Jean, and Scott felt like family. You were the one everyone gravitated towards, a calming presence who brought a sense of peace into every room. People often said you were the kindest person they had ever met.

So why was Logan the exception?

From the moment he arrived, it was like he was determined to get under your skin. Always a snide comment. Always something sarcastic to say when things went wrong. Even the smallest inconvenience became his excuse to throw a jab your way. It wasn’t playful. It felt intentional. Personal. You’d think a man pushing 200 would have better things to do with his time.

And it was only ever aimed at you. Which quite honestly hurt your feelings.

You’d tried to figure it out. As someone who overthinks everything, you’d replayed every interaction, every glance, every word you’d shared with him from the day he arrived. Searching for a reason. Some moment where you might’ve offended him without realizing it. But there was nothing. No explanation.

You saw how he was with others. The soft spot he still had for Jean...though he’d finally come to terms with the fact that she only had eyes for Scott. The way he spoke so gently to Rogue. How he treated Charles with the utmost respect. He could be kind. Thoughtful, even.

So what had you done to deserve the cold shoulder? The constant disrespect?

Maybe nothing. Maybe he just didn’t like you. And maybe… that had to be okay.

So, life went on. Same routine, same rhythm. You’d get up, set up for your classes, teach your sections, then have lunch in the staff lounge with your friends. Some days you’d check in with Charles, other days you’d get some training in. And at night, your favorite part—you’d make yourself a hot cup of coffee and curl up with a book before bed. Yes, coffee. It didn’t keep you awake like it did most people. It was comforting. Familiar. Like home in a mug.

You and Logan still crossed paths. The occasional “hi” or “goodbye” in the hallways. Polite. Brief. Distant. But in group settings? That’s when the tension resurfaced. Every time you offered a suggestion during mission briefings, he’d have something to say (by being an absolute ass) always cutting, always loud enough to make you look foolish.

You didn’t know what his problem was. But at this point, you were done trying to figure it out.

Present Day

You had just wrapped up your class, answering every last question your students threw your way. With that all taken care of, you decided it was the perfect time to change and squeeze in some training. So you changed into your usual Adidas sportswear and a white tank top, tied your hair back into a ponytail and headed straight for the training room.... But little did you know Logan already beat you to it.

You stepped into the room and froze. “Oh... hey,” you managed, your voice catching slightly as the words tumbled out. You hadn’t expected anyone to be here this early let alone him.

Logan glanced over at you with a smirk. “Looks like someone wrapped up their class early.”

You rolled your eyes. “It was a short lecture, thank you very much.”

He scoffed, matching your eye roll with one of his own, then started walking towards you each step radiating that effortless confidence that always threw you off just a little more than you cared to admit.

“This isn’t the first time your lecture’s run short. Don’t forget, I teach right after you so when your students show up early, it cuts into my time. Now I’ve gotta head to class looking like this with no chance to shower"

You tried to focus on what he was saying, but your mind just couldn’t stay on track. His damn ruggedly handsome face, that perfectly trimmed beard, and his messy, tousled hair, everything about him was distracting the hell out of you.

But what really caught your attention was the way sweat traced down his muscular arms, soaking into the white beater that clung to him like a second skin. And if you were being honest with yourself… there was just something about a man in a white beater that drove you wild and Logan wore it way too well.

You hated the effect he had on you but couldn't help it.

“What do you expect me to do? Keep them in class longer? They could be using their time better like studying for their midterms. So, excuse me for wanting them to actually be productive.”

You say in frustration while crossing your arms.

“Whatever. Enjoy your little training session. Let’s just hope it actually works before you screw things up again.” He walks out.

You stood there for a moment, silent and still, letting the frustration settle. But there was no way in hell you were letting Logan be the one to ruin your day. So you pulled yourself together, pushed the irritation aside, and shifted your focus back to training.

(Logan's POV)

There’s something about Y/N that just… irritates me, and I can’t even explain why. Honestly, I feel like an asshole half the time for being so hard on her. She’s never actually done anything to me. If anything, she’s been nothing but respectful...hell, even kind. Especially when I first got here.

She’s got that kind of presence that changes the energy in a room. Like, when she walks in, the air feels lighter. There’s this warmth about her something real. Her eyes light up when she teaches, and yeah, I’ve caught myself lingering more than once.

You can tell she actually cares about the kids. She's passionate, dedicated. The kind of professor who gives a damn, which is rare. And maybe that’s what scares me the most. Her kindness. Because it’s real. And when something’s real, it’s vulnerable. It’s fragile. And the people I care about? They always end up getting hurt when I let them get close.

So I do what I’ve always done! push people away. Burn the bridge before it even gets built. And when it comes to Y/N? Yeah… mission accomplished.

"Alright, everyone, grab a seat… your professor decided to cut her lecture short, so I guess I’ll be the one picking up the slack."

“It was a short lecture because it was a midterm review,” Rogue chimed in. “She was just going over what we need to study.”

“Yeah! I mean, it’s not like we had anything else to cover might as well leave early,” Bobby added, casually shrugging his shoulders.

“Right… well, some of us professors actually believe in using the full class to teach something,” I scoffed, shooting him a look.

Damn, she really had these kids ready to go to war for her.

Storm happened to walk by just as the words left my mouth. She paused, giving me that signature disapproving glare.

“Logan… might I have a word with you after your class? It’s important.”

“Uh, yeah sure. I should be wrapping up in about an hour,” I replied.

“Charles’ office. One hour.” She said coldly before walking away.

Great. I could already feel whatever’s coming. And it's about to be a fucking earful.

1 Hour Passes - Both Logan and Storm are in Charles Office

"Logan, I’ve been informed that you’ve been speaking disrespectfully about one of our professors to the students in her absence," Charles said the moment I stepped into his office.

I glanced over at Storm, already annoyed.

“I wouldn’t call it being disrespectful...just voicing some frustration,” I muttered.

Storm rolled her eyes. “Oh, cut the crap, Logan. We all know how you’ve been treating Y/N since day one. You haven’t given her a break.”

"Jesus, is that what you guys do? Sit around gossiping about me during your girl time?" I shot back. "I didn’t even say her name."

"You didn’t need to," Storm said in a sharp tone. "It was obvious who you were talking about, especially since she teaches right before you."

“Yeah, well, forgive me for being a little pissed that she half-assed her lectures, cuts class early, and then takes over the training room like it’s her personal sanctuary. In the end I’m the one left to clean up the mess she leaves behind."

“Alright, both of you, just stop—” Charles started, but everyone froze when Y/N walks in, clearly upset.

“Y/N…” Storm said softly.

“Oh, don’t mind me interrupting Logan’s little rant,” Y/N snapped, her gaze locking with mine. “I just thought I’d come in here to defend myself, since apparently, there’s some misleading information being spread behind my back.”

Y/N gaze remained fixed on mine

“For the record, I couldn’t care less what you think about me, my teaching style, or how I run my classes,” she continued. “But one thing I won’t tolerate is you making me look bad in front of my students. So, I suggest you respectfully shut the fuck up and mind your own fucking business.”

With that, she stormed out, leaving the room in silence.

Charles let out a sigh. “Logan, I get that you have your issues with her, but for the record, she’s never spoken a word against you. In fact, she’s always spoken highly of you, especially when it comes to the students.”

Storm turned to look at me. “Exactly. And you have no idea what she’s been through, so maybe—”

“Alright, alright, fine!” I cut her off, rubbing my temples in frustration. “I get it. I’m sorry. I won’t say anything else.”

Charles raised an eyebrow. “It’s not us you should be apologizing to, Logan.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “When she’s ready to talk to me, I’ll apologize. Until then, I’m not losing any sleep over it.” With that, I storm out.

Jesus, does she always have to be such a pain in the ass?

(Y/N's POV)

Why did Logan have to be such a dick? I was so done with him. Anger and frustration flooded my mind as I made my way back to my room.

I walked in, flopped onto my bed, and replayed the whole scene from Charles' office in my head. Disappointment washed over me. I knew I wouldn’t always get to work with people I liked, but sometimes, Logan made being here feel downright miserable.

Normally, I’d grab a coffee and settle down with a good book, but not tonight. Instead, I put on my headphones, listened to some music, and decided to call it a night.

Later that Night

I was suddenly woken by groaning and screams coming from next door. It was Logan. This wasn’t the first time he’d had a nightmare since he got here, but this one sounded worse than usual.

I quickly made my way to his door and knocked softly. "Logan? It’s me, Y/N… Are you okay?"

A few students started to come out of their rooms, looking confused and concerned.

"Hey guys, it’s fine. Just go back to bed, there’s nothing to see here," I called out, trying to reassure them as I continued knocking on his door.

Still no response. But I could hear him thrashing around and shouting. So, with no other choice, I opened the door and stepped inside.

He was out cold, completely consumed by whatever nightmare had him in its grip. Given that my powers revolve around controlling dreams, I made the call to step in and settle it down.

Does he deserve the help? Fuck no. But I’m not doing this for him. I’m doing it so I can actually get my beauty sleep and so the kids aren’t up all night because Logan can’t keep his demons in check.

My hands moved carefully to either side of his face, fingers brushing his temples as I let my powers take control. As soon as I entered his mind, I was hit by a wave of agony raw, brutal, and suffocating. It was the kind of nightmare I hadn’t seen in a long time.

The dream was chaos. Logan was locked inside some kind of containment tank, submerged in water. Thick cables and syringes jabbed into his body, pumping him full of some liquid. His bones being coated, reforged. He was writhing in pain, completely helpless. Then came the man behind it all a cold-eyed figure with graying hair and a twisted sense of control. Stryker, his name tag read.

“Erase his memory,” he ordered.

And just like that, Logan snapped. He went feral, unleashing pure, animalistic rage. He tore through everything, blinded by pain and confusion. No wonder he was screaming in his sleep, this wasn’t just a nightmare, it was a memory. Or what was left of one. The whole thing felt fragmented, like someone had ripped pieces of it out and tried to stitch it back together wrong.

I steadied myself, made my presence known in the dream, and slowly began shifting the environment around him. Replacing pain with calm, torment with peace. Even if the memory never happened, I crafted something soft, something warm to anchor him. He didn’t need to know it was fake. I just needed the nightmare to end… for him to breathe again.

In an instant, I was ripped out of the dream and slammed back into reality flat on my back with a heavy weight crushing my chest and a hand clamped tight around my neck. Logan. He’d shot up from the nightmare in full survival mode, claws out, eyes wide with panic.

“Logan! It’s me...Y/N!” I gasped, struggling to get the words out through the pressure on my throat.

His expression shifted the moment he recognized me. He let go and stumbled back, his breathing was unsteady and his chest was heaving like he’d just dug his way out of a warzone.

“Y/N?” he snapped, voice rough. “What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

I struggled to catch my breath, coughing lightly while rubbing my neck. (Damn, that's gonna leave a bruise...) I thought to myself.

"You woke up the whole damn school with all that screaming," you muttered, arms crossed. "I was just trying to help, alright?"

"I don’t need your fucking help," he growled while raising his voice. "I never asked for it."

You shot him a glare. "God, why are you being such an asshole? You were clearly having a nightmare I only stepped in to calm it down. That’s literally all I did."

"Yeah? Well stay the fuck out of my head," he snapped. "And stay the hell out of my room."

Rage surged through your body as you stepped closer, getting right up in his face despite the obvious height difference. "You know what!?" you yelled, eyes burning with frustration. "Next time, I'll leave you to drown in your own fucking memories and misery. I’ll let you stay trapped in those nightmares, suffering. Hell, I hope the next one’s worse than this one."

You took a step back, and added, "I hope you have a shitty night" and walked out slamming his bedroom door shut behind you.

As you turned to head back to your room, you noticed nearly all the students gathered in the hallway, huddled together and staring at you. They heard everything.

Shit.....

Hope you guys liked part 1! Part 2 to come soon. Comment below if you want me to tag you for that :)

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 68 + shima analysis // spoilers

acceptance of the monster: how facing the past is necessary when the goal is a brighter future

i think that those who have been following me for a while have seen all my analyses and random insights about shima. i have immense affection for him and he will always be one of my favorite characters ever. and chapters like this remind me of how important he is in my life. 

chapter 68 is very straight to the point, but it also hides some small and big changes that started to bubble up from previous chapters. for the first time, we no longer have small, not very explicit scenes from shima's memories or him being so afraid of finally facing the past: now we have the naked truth, laid out in front of us, so that we can understand a little more about how the childhood that shaped shima's entire life until now was.

unlike what i imagined, i didn't get angry with taiga now that he was introduced. of course, i don't think his actions were right or that he didn't influence shima in a negative way, but his appearance at that moment served as both a salvation and a tragedy for shima's life.

there are many layers to be analyzed. we know very, very little about taiga, but we can understand that he didn't have a very good relationship with his family either — the moment he talks about his parents' disappointment in him for giving up acting shows us that he was probably also forced to do something he didn't want to do. he is also the result of a desire imposed on him, causing him to rebel as the years went by.

in a way, meeting shima is like meeting your past self. i don't see much evil in his actions or see it as something malicious. i think he recognized in shima's face the same nervousness that he himself felt every time before his rehearsal, thus proposing that he also have an act of rebellion to feel a little freer.

however, the evil of all this is that taiga, without knowing anything, ends up entering shima's life at a time when he is most fragile and hurt by everything he has been facing (whether it be his abusive relationship with his mother or his growing fear of acting). shima sees taiga as an equal, someone who understands all the pain he has faced but managed to escape from it, while he’s still a prisoner. he sees the older boy as an inspiration, as a friend he longed for, who would show him what a life away from cameras and rehearsals would be like.

shima is still too young to understand everything that is happening around him, and too young to see any kind of problem in following his new friend. having a destructive act at a time of such fragility gives him a certain strength, because he understands this as the only way he has to face his mother and go against everything that is imposed on him. going out with taiga, even if secretly, is a message to his mother: you no longer have control over me.

unfortunately, we have known the result of these escapades for a long time. ririka, also worried about shima, decides to follow him and ends up being targeted by several online attacks. even though shima was the one who “took” her there, ririka, a beautiful and successful girl, is the perfect target.she is the one who suffers the direct consequences, and of course this is closely linked to the sexism that is rooted in society and how much people wait for a girl to make a small mistake so that they can destroy her in some way (i talk more about this in my exclusive ririka analysis).

now shima no longer has to face just two monsters: they have now multiplied into a thousand, becoming even stronger. the consequences of his rebellion come in an aggressive form, with his mother’s abuse and the new tarnished image he obtained in his artistic circle. his mother’s anxiety comes from the fact that shima would no longer get big roles, either because of this transgression or because he missed so many rehearsals, which did not lead to any improvement in terms of acting. blinded by all the anger she feels inside, shima's mother's direct response is no other than to attack her son.

child abuse is extremely common in the arts, whether by parents, the press, the public or co-workers. shima is just one of many young actors who have had to suffer the wrath of a parent who is disappointed by a dream that they themselves forced their children to have. and of course, this would result in years of being afraid to be who they are, to speak out and to live a normal life without carrying immense guilt. the prison that he has placed himself in for all these years is the evolution of the bonds imposed by his mother.

the turning point does not happen in this chapter itself, but in a sequence of long events that led him to where he is. it is impossible for shima to change overnight: it takes a lot of work and a lot, but a lot of analysis (even if it is self-analysis) to finally understand and be able to heal all this pain that he has been held hostage by for so many years. and the second part of the chapter shows exactly that.

shima is no longer afraid to face the monster of the past because he is no longer alone. he finally understands that there are people around him who care about him and fight to stay by his side. having people's support and love gives him the strength to move forward and continue this arduous battle of growing up. shima now understands what it is to be loved to the point of being happy about a past fight, as it resulted in an even closer relationship with mitsumi. he understands that being loved is being able to look back on the past and no longer feel pain or guilt, but to recognize the one who suffered so much, with no one by his side.

he now takes on the role of the monster, but no longer to affirm his guilt, but to be able to show his past self and all the other monsters around him how it is possible for him to be happy. how it is possible to decide things for yourself and follow your heart. how it is possible to love so many people and be loved in return. how it is possible to look at a person and feel an immense warmth, an inexplicable desire to keep fighting, all so that he can be by their side. 

shima is finally reaching out to his past self, so that they can form a new future together.

before i finish, i would also like to touch on an important point that i see the possibility of being discussed in the future: shima's current relationship with his mother. chapter 67 brought something very important, which was shima's recognition when he admitted that he felt a certain pity for his mother, due to all the comments he heard about her. deep down, he feels a certain empathy for his mother and no longer sees her as an unbeatable villain. he has been slowly trying to change his relationship with her, and the first step is to invite her to watch the play he chose to be in. this in my opinion shows shima's desire to forgive his mother in order to move on, but also seek some kind of forgiveness from her (which can be a result of many years of manipulation, since he still thinks he is guilty for a lot of his mother’s pain). i feel that we will still see a type of closeness between them and a deeper conversation, so that shima can finally feel like he belongs to a family again. this can be a triggering moment to a lot of readers, so if it does happen, please be mindful of it. 

the layers that not only this chapter but this whole new arc has are much deeper than we imagine. building a character requires love, patience and conversation. you need to listen and understand what your character wants. respect is needed so that the story can grow. takamatsu misaki has a huge affection for her characters, for her story and for everything she has been building since 2018.

we're so lucky to be able to follow such amazingly beautiful story.

thank you so much for reading 💛💛!! don't forget to support sensei if you can! always here to discuss more about the chapter!

[elene78-blog]

TGR SPOILERS and THEORY ABOUT KEVIN AND JEAN

Am I the only one who found the contrast between TSC's "nice" Kevin and TGR's "rude" and slightly douchebag Kevin weird?

 Yes, Kevin had his moments of kindness, but he went from asking Jean to breathe, with his head in his hands, to roughly slamming him against the wall to calm him down before the interview in a threatening tone. He went from holding Jean's hand gently while he was in bed to "I know you hate me sometimes. I don't care."

 Okay, yeah, Kevin sends Jean a new postcard and all, and they have a very revealing conversation, but the contrast kept me pretty mad at him overall. Furthermore, in the interview Kevin was also quite rude compared to how he usually appears. Honestly, I saw Kevin as a real asshole compared to TSC. I found this change very strange. And I just thought about something about that, something that has already been exemplified in the original trilogy, and my theory is that...

 Kevin has always been this jerk (I call him that affectionately, you know what I mean) even on TSC, but Jean was describing him with the eyes of a person who idealizes another. This makes a ton of sense because Kevin was all the kindness Jean knew. Just Kevin and his tough love. The only person he's ever been "in love" with... until now.

That's why in TSC Kevin is so soft, because we see him through the eyes of a Jean who only knew that "kindness", of a Jean who continued to idealize him even though he also hated Kevin. A Jean who says "he has earned the right to be arrogant" without hesitation because Kevin continued to be his reference in terms of conflicting feelings.

 But this is no longer the case, is it?

 Now Jean knows what kindness is outside of The Nest. Now Jean has started to develop feelings for someone else, and no one has treated him like Kevin has, with that harshness at USC. Jeremy, his partner, has never treated him like that either. That's why TGR's Kevin is tougher in contrast to TSC and much less kind, because Jean is starting to stop idealizing Kevin now that he knows the genuine kindness of people who haven't been to The Nest. He sees the difference between Kevin and his current friends, and starts to go crazy because... Has Kevin always been like this, or did Jean see him that way because he didn't know anything else? 

In other words... Jean is "falling out of love."

Let's look at this a little more closely from when Kevin arrives to when he leaves: 

1. - Kevin arrives and helps Jean get dressed. Jeremy sees how Jean lets herself go and his eyes even shine a little. Some people say this shows that Jean is still in love with Kevin. I think it shows Jean's idealization of him, and a reflection of his own history (I think Jean stopped being in love with Kevin a long time ago, but Kevin was one of the few good things Jean had in The Nest, so he holds onto those few good memories tightly). 

2. - Kevin starts drinking and Jean loses his temper. Try to attack him. Kevin shakes him roughly and Jean relents. Why does Jean attack? Because the Kevin he knows, his idealized image, doesn't drink or have problems. He outgrew The Nest. He's better than that. Here Jean's image of Kevin begins to fall and that makes Jean not understand anything and gets angry. Kevin has to be perfect because KEVIN CAME OUT OF THERE. But Kevin doesn't seem like it and Jean starts to get more and more nervous about it. 

3. - Jean's nervousness increases during the interview. We see Kevin being quite blunt with the interviewer and, although Kevin is protective of Jean, Jean's descriptions of Kevin's actions are quite distant. Maybe because of nervousness, who knows? But when Jean comes up to breathe, Jean says something revealing.

Jean doesn't care who accompanies him outside. He doesn't care if it's Kevin or anyone else. Jean is clear that Kevin can't do anything at this point. Kevin has failed in this interview and in his task, which was to make everything go well. 

4.- They return home with the taste of failure. Jean and Kevin talk. Kevin reveals that he needs the help of alcohol because therapy isn't always a help. He reveals that he still hears Riko in his head continuously. To put it another way, Kevin shows weakness to Jean and Jean is shocked.

 "You should be better."

 The idealization of Kevin practically disappears with this phrase, and what happens next demonstrates it.

 5.- Cat hugs Jean, almost crying for the loss of Elodie. Jean sees here Cat's kindness versus the kindness that Kevin has barely been able to give him because Kevin doesn't know what kindness is either. This scene is very powerful because this is where Jean's change begins. This is where I think Jean begins to recognize his people. Kevin can't do more because Kevin is Jean's equal, not someone superior like Jean has always believed. If Kevin is just like Jean... That means Kevin is also "weak."

The idealization ends. Now everything depends on Jean. And from here on, the protective Jean appears because Jean understands that, if the immovable point that was Kevin is not such a thing and everything has been a lie that has been created in his own mind, only he himself can protect and help his people. 

The Nest's psyche begins to crumble because number two, second only to Riko, is just like Jean. This psyche begins to crumble because true kindness is that of "his people", not that of The Nest. If Kevin is not immovable, anything can happen. 

6.- And then Jean hits Bryson to protect Jeremy and his own home. 

Does it make sense?

[newkatzkafe2023]

I want something to do with portal-portal2 but my brain cannot think of anything that could put wukong into it 😭😭

If it springs you any ideas like of Y/N that is either Chell, Weatley or even Glados I'll take it 😆

GLADOS IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS I LOVE HER ATTITUDE DISPITE BEING AN A.I🤩

(Lmk Wukong) When you first met during the journey to the west, is when Wukong took note of your passive aggression. You were harsh and cruel to everyone around you and had no problem putting others in danger, and almost killing people. That caused you to clash with Wukong alot who was learning to be a better person, until he accidentally got a glimpse into your life. Which he started to understand and tried to help you overcome your personal trauma, though it took a long time and well you started to see him as somebody hard to kill and Wukong decided to change your mind.

(NR Wukong) Well.....you know the term test monkey because that's what you do alot, and it took him some time to notice. You would think this pissed him off and it did....at first, but this is probably the most attention he's ever got from you. It was super easy to trick him and it felt like all you had to do was tie a beer bottle to a rope and dangle it infront of him. However Wukong is also intelligent in his own right and mostly turn your dangerous puzzles into fun mini games, and excise routines basically patronizing you. You would low-key growl and huff as you would leave him with your test notes, Wukong finds it adorable how his cold wifey-poo tries to kill him with science and household items your marriage has never been so lively.

(MKR Wukong) My god, the sarcastic remarks you both would exchange would make everyone go crazy. You're both bitter, irritable, cold, violent, and gentle in neither of your vocabularies. How you would make passive-aggressive comments and mildly harsh insults towards each other, not to mention how neither of you are against killing your enemies. However, you both do little subtle acts of affection and kindness for each other, like Wukong sharing his food, and you would bake little peach cupcakes for him to eat. You both are dangerously protective of each other, and with that, you both became less of the deadly couple and more of a passive-aggressive, tsundere married couple.

(HIB Wukong) Oh goodness your relationship looks kinda toxic, from the outside looking in but it's not the case really. It's just..before you both got together you both had treated each other coldly and harshly, only cause Wukong had put up his walls and your dry cutthroat insults and sarcasm. It wasn't until Luier and Silly girl had entered your lives and you both had to put aside your bullsh*t to take care the kids. Your gentler side comes out when you bonded with Luier over puzzles and knowledge, so you would make kid friendly test for them to do. Over time you both learned to love each other with the help of your unusual little family.

(Netflix Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhh man I feel he would be the most passive aggressive Monkey on this list, so their will be alot of back and forth. Your harsh monotone Voice brings back bitter terrible memories, but what's interesting is that you don't judge him nor rebuke his bad behavior. However you still passive aggressively insult him and comment on his acts and Impulses, you would also roll your eyes at best. Though you do have a gentler side to you as you would act as a listening ears and would bake him a cake as an act of remorse for when you get out of line for him. In otherwords you love Wukong it's just you have a....funny way of showing it.

(BMW Wukong) Oh boi you admittedly picked the wrong one, especially when he can mouth off to you without hesitation. He had heard about you from Erlang Shen about you were offing people in the form of tests or puzzles, and well....the after math was.....messy. When Wukong finally were a little manipulative and incredibly dangerous, as you only saw him as another test subject and took him to your test sight. However Wukong either breezed though the tests or completely destroyed it, and it really tried your patience. It guess worse when you dubbed him as difficult to kill and called him a genocidal armored lunatic and told him never to comeback, oh if only it was that easy....

(Destined one) First of all who the hell do you think you are???🤨 the Destined one would not take your bullsh*t at all, like all you do is try to trick him into doing tests like a god damn lab rat. Then you would have the gall to go and passive aggressively insult him to his blank face, like you seriously get on his nerves and that doesn't happen very often. Now he won't ever fight you but he will be spiteful when it comes to your little tests, and if the Destined one ever spoke. I feel like the Destined one's insults and harsh comments would cut deeper then yours ever could, and that's probably why your interested in him and you wanna know what makes him tick. You never expected to marry him though, but that's a different test result for another time.

(Lotmk Wukong) Now i feel he wouldn't ever notice your cold monotone murderous and tricky disposition, and he naturally loves and cares about you without condition. Everybody would usually go mad trying to figure out why Wukong would look at you like you hung the moon. He also loves listening to you talk because he thinks your voice is pretty, even when you're currently roasting him. Though you would show your affection for him by singing soft opera songs to him and baking a cake for him............ it must be nice to have rose-colored glasses glued to his face.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🤖

[markantonys]

i'm very curious about the long-distance & long-term effects of rahvin's compulsion in the show. when elayne is in tanchico, will she a) still have all her fake memories of gaebril and casually mention her beloved stepdad, causing nynaeve and mat to be like "uhhh since when do you have a stepdad?" or b) forget everything about him and misremember it as only morgase, elaida, gawyn, and galad visiting the tower?

(nynaeve and mat were also in the tower while rahvin was, so it's possible they got hit with fake knowledge of gaebril too if he did a mass weave on the entire vicinity, but neither was ever in a room with him, i don't think.)

and then tanchico is where thom will come in, which could be very interesting for scenario A if thom's backstory as morgase's ex and elayne's childhood father figure is maintained. thom has almost definitely never gotten close enough to rahvin to get whammied, so it would be interesting if elayne makes reference of gaebril to him and he's like "what? *i* was the one who was dating morgase and helped raise you when you were little" and that triggers some of elayne's real memories to surface and she begins breaking free of the compulsion memories a bit and realizes something is fishy over in andor.

but it depends on the timing of caemlyn stuff in presumably s4; if it doesn't happen until towards the end of the season, then elayne starting to suspect something in s3 would be too early (because why wouldn't she drop everything to raise the alarm the moment she suspects her mom and country might be in danger). so they might go the route where she just completely forgot everything to do with gaebril after he left the tower, and not until s4 do any of the characters begin to figure out that something weird is going on. (could rand play a role in initially figuring it out? he's the only one on Team Light who would be able to see that rahvin is constantly channeling on everyone he comes into contact with, but he might not run into rahvin in person until the caemlyn battle itself, at which point they'll already know he's a forsaken. if elayne participates in the caemlyn battle, as i hope and suspect she will, could there be added twists of rahvin re-hitting her with compulsion and complicating the battle with elayne thinking rand is going mad and attacking her beloved stepfather? they've set up rahvin's whole scheme to be almost ironclad and his compulsion powers to be almost unlimited, so i'm really interested to see how our characters will manage to break through it! ...............further fodder for Mat Joining Rand & Co In S4 theory since his medallion would make him (or another wearer, he could lend it to rand or elayne for the battle) immune to rahvin's compulsion and thus help the gang uncover and defeat him?)

[bwat5-blog]

Beginners Guide To Making A Point: Arcane

**Spoilers For Arcane**

Good morning my friends. Have you or someone you know been victimized by one of the mean folks like myself ripping apart your takes on the show Arcane? Well today there is hope. I’m here to share the sinister secrets of our trade that allow us to commit such dastardly deeds. So the next time one of us comes knocking, you will be ready!

All too often, I see kind and gentle folks like you innocently trying to make statements like the ones below:

1. Caitlyn Kiramman murdered kids!

2. Caitlyn never showed any remorse!

3. Caitlyn lost her mom and acted like that was a justification for her crimes!

4. Caitlyn looked down and didn’t love Vi!

Now you aren’t doing anything wrong. Just sharing your take on this story and what happens. But then someone like me will come along and reblog with some snarky title and something like this:

1. There is no evidence of that whatsoever in any single moment of the show

2. I’d run down the various moments where she does show remorse

3. I’d list the long series of traumatic incidents that severely impact her mental state leading to her eventual fall into Ambessa’s clutches

4. Id explain that there are three moments and three moments only when she ever says a negative thing about Zaunites.

A- she calls the people who attacked the memorial animals immediately afterward. And lets be clear, they were.

B- She says Vi and Jinx share blood during her lowest and darkest moment.

C- She says something regarding the depravity of Zaun or something when talking to Singed after the Stillwater massacre. Of course I’d use the whole quote.

Then I would point out that she saved Vi’s life twice, spared Jinx after all she’d done to Cait in season 1 because Vi asked her to, started a war by trying to save Vander, and gave Vi the choice to free Jinx knowing full well Vi may leave and never return.

And you’d have a bunch of mean comments that hurt your feelings and people making fun of you and so on. But! I’m gonna show you how I do it and help you make your next case in a way people like me can’t attack. First we need to discuss one very simple rule

If you can’t back it up with content, it didn’t happen:

Now this one sounds simple. But it can be tricky to master. Let me give you an example-

Example: “Caitlyn murdered innocent Zaunites with The Grey!”

Okay. Now I know in your mind you see this and think, “well yea? I mean we saw the sketches of people who grew up surrounded by it their whole lives having problems. And Jayce suggests Viktor’s condition may have been caused by it. She exposed people to it that means she killed them”.

There is not in a single second of any frame, evidence that anyone died from exposure during the strike team’s operations. In fact we see several characters who were exposed, Caitlyn included, who are fine later. And I know, what you are thinking:

“But OP we don’t know if there were long term latent complications!”

Correct. And unless Riot and Fortiche tell us we never will. Vi could have CTE, Jinx could have untold issues from being infused with Shimmer, Sevika could have lung cancer. It’s all speculative. So if it didn’t happen, it isn’t good for analysis.

Going a tad bit deeper

Now this one does go even further. Let’s use this example:

Example- “Caitlyn never apologized!”

Now I see this one a lot. And I get it. She never says sorry out loud. So if you misunderstand the rule that means she doesn’t. But you notice it says “if you can’t back it up with the content”.

So while Caitlyn never speaks the words, we know she :

1. starts a war to save Vander

2. takes no action when Jinx has her back to her and instead rushes to save a wounded Vi

3. keeps Jinx in the Kiramman bunker rather than Stillwater and forgoes judgement until Vi wakes

4. has several bits of dialogue expressing her regret and self-hate

5. lets Vi make the choice to free Jinx, shows Vi love and acceptance when she feels she lost everyone

6. is quite clearly remorseful touching the place where she hit Vi.

These are quite clear signs of her remorse. So what does that mean? It means that even if it isn’t explicitly shown I can back it up with clear examples that are content driven. None of that is speculative. It is all clear and on screen.

And some of these are harder, like this one:

“Ekko clearly didn’t dispute the use of The Grey”:

We didn’t see Ekko. We didn’t hear from him during the strike team’s mission about what they were doing. So how can I say that?

1. We know he was in Zaun

2. He’s the firelight commander and has been battling Silco/shimmer for years for his people

3. He fights for the people of Zaun

These are all indisputable. And I can source each of these details directly from content. So sometimes you have to dig alittle deeper. But you can still support your ideas with plain on screen evidence.

*An Important Note*

We must also be careful not only to be sure we only use detail we can back up, but that we don’t exclude detail that does not support us. A great example for this is this one:

EXAMPLE: Caitlyn lost her mom and acts like that single loss justifies a full on dictatorship.

Now someone like me would come along and list the multiple times Jinx almost killed Caitlyn, the total eradication of Caitlyn’s faith in the pre-existing system after Marcus tried to murder her, the deaths of many of her peers in front of her, her abduction and possible torture at Jinx’s hands, listening to Jinx try and convince Vi to murder her, sparing Jinx at Vi’s pleading then watching Jinx murder her mother.

Now I’ve come and used all those details you left out and made you look silly. No one wants that! So be sure to include everything relevant. If its a good take it will survive it.

Conclusion:

So, using this guide hopefully you can craft your next analysis with the detail and content and avoid interactions with unpleasant folks like me. Just remember! Let’s leave the imagination in fanfics and keep the analysis to the content itself. Don’t worry though, if you lose track I’m here to help you out.

[ledesaid]

ıııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııııı

It’s almost midnight, and William has not yet defeated Black Adam.

He would be more worried if he hadn’t seen his future that morning. Well, maybe a few of them, and in most of them, Black Adam loses.

He knows that the champion will fall hard but will get back up and keep fighting until Adam is distracted by a blow from the mortal called Superman. It will only take two blows, and William will win.

In almost every world, he does.

Then he will celebrate the victory with the other humans and return to the cave. He will take the book, and the wizard will know what will happen to the champion tomorrow...

There is a special book that this old wizard has treasured for thousands of years.

He calls it the Book of Memories.

The person who touches it leaves an imprint of their soul, and he can see it all. But when one unpacks that term, it can apply to their past, present, and certainly something beyond...

With the application of his own magic, the book could show the person’s future, even if only for a day. It was the most invaluable treasure that exists in the multiverse.

And something only the gods know, it was also the reason he is the last champion standing. How he despised the sin of greed, but he was so old now that he began to doubt whether it had been worth keeping the book just for himself. The statue in front of his throne occasionally laughed, clearly aware of his feelings.

Soon, it will be William's book, the wizard thinks. Soon the new champion will have to face this book. The rock above his head will soon free him from his sin.

But something always goes wrong. He thinks it has happened very few times, but it’s always possible when it comes to the champion’s future.

William arrived immediately after defeating Black Adam. Six hours earlier. A not so radical and acceptable change, the wizard thinks.

Billy: Wizard! Adam... Adam told me about a book! A book that only you can see and that I must hold for it to work...

The wizard saw the betrayal in his gaze, which brought so many memories to light, but it was already too late...

Mamaragan: It's true. There is a magical book, but it can't control your future. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I am not a god, William, and neither is Adam.

Billy: But he told me you could know everything about me and control me at your will.

Mamaragan: I deny part of that statement, champion.

Billy: I won’t hold that book anymore.

Mamaragan: I accept your resolution, champion, but you will do it when the situation calls for it... whether I am in the realm of the living or not.

The teenager awkwardly stepped back and ran out of the Rock of Eternity.

The old man knows he will return. Not for the book, but he has lived long enough to believe it... and speaking of enough.

The rope holding the great stone trembles in the face of the inevitable...

Mamaragan: Well, what do you say, old foe? Do you want to count the seconds? I'll start! One, two, three, four.

Avarice: Five and six... Wizard.

The wizard leaves a letter for the champion; the day has ended as it was written, and Billy would use the book, just as it was written.

----

Hi!, I am participating in BILLY BATSON WEEK 2025! @marybatson

Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5