#I’ll dm you when I’ll listen to it 💗 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

forlix · 1 year ago

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hiii, it’s me again, 🪷 anonnie

I’m so glad you liked the song! I love giving song recs, and music and lit are so intertwined in my brain so I’m thinking of the two together all the time.

now… onto ‘empty my mind’… spoilers below:

SO GOOD 😭🫠

idek what this trope is called but I love when one characters is soo devoted and desperate to do anything for their lover. like, just give everything up completely and do anything for them. and I love it even more when the target of their affection is immediately aware of this dynamic and feels so protective instead of, like, taking advantage of it? which for sure you can see jisung assumes will eventually happen, and he feels like he deserves to be used and dropped. but reader treats him so well like ‘no, you’re not a bad person you’re literally just a human existing. you’re doing your best baby’ like UGH! SO GOOD!

and then they actually talk at the end and get that closure? like jisung feels safe enough to open up and reader understands him completely. and this silent reassurance that is fully being vocalized really convinces jisung that he does deserve to be loved. and like, he believes he’s being fixed too which is so much development. going from ‘I’ll do whatever you want, I feel like nothing so I’ll be thankful for anything you give me’ to ‘I’ll do whatever you want, because you make me feel like something’. also there is so much care put into the metaphor of the ghosts that manifest in his nightmares representing his mental health that I can’t get into it because I will literally CRY! how reader handles his mental state so tenderly just wrecks me 💗

also, love the scenes with felix and the other members. especially when jisung and reader leave the study group. I imagined felix thinking ‘yes, she can fix him’ the whole time he’s trying to bring them together. and I loved the smut, car sex is always sexy. not to mention how intent jisung is on convincing reader that he’s not gonna leave, and then later during the storm she assures him that she wants him to stay. like YES HE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT YOU WANT HIM FOR MORE THAN JUST SEX

sorry for the short essay but I really wanted to say it all. I think next time I will just dm you but I’m very shy about interacting with people 👉🏻👈🏻 anywayyy, byye, take care 🫶🏻

hello my light, my love, my lotus anon, pls accept my apology for replying to this so late i wanted to store it in my inbox until it finally sank in that it's REAL and you're real bc what the fuck. i can't believe u took the time to analyze "empty my mind" so deeply and so richly i wept reading this the first time and i'm weeping AGAIN typing this out. thank you, thank you, thank you

re: the connections between music and literature, you're SO real for that. for most of my writings (except for the drabbles), i include lil playlists in the description so y'all can listen to the songs i derived inspiration from while writing :') i would be so curious to know your thoughts on the ones i chose for "empty my mind"! or if u made any associations yourself 🎤 lmk my lyrical genius

and i seriously fell over myself reading your interpretation of their relationship because that's EXACTLY what i was going for, like, for real, you hit every single point and articulated it so much better than i could if i tried. i loved all of what you said, but especially the part where the reader embraces rather than takes advantage of him. i like to think he got the sense he could trust her from the moment they met, so he very cautiously continued to give himself to her bit by bit as they grew closer even though he was deathly afraid of doing so. and it was all worth it in the end bc she's wonderful for him and wonderful in general (can u tell i love my mcs)

and it's so interesting that you used the word "fixed." i had to tread carefully around their dynamic, in part because i didn't want it to seem like she was hoping to change anything about him (or yk those memes that are like "i can fix him" and it's about the most toxic person in the world? yeah that was not her thought process). the core of their love, the reason why they work, is because she doesn't see anything that has to be changed in the first place. he is fucking perfect to her as he comes. so i love the way you described it: it's him who wants to change, not for her but because of her, thanks to her, because she reminds him that he can.

taking an intermission to fangirl over you bc

going from ‘I’ll do whatever you want, I feel like nothing so I’ll be thankful for anything you give me’ to ‘I’ll do whatever you want, because you make me feel like something’

the way you PHRASED THIS HOLY FUCK. A BILLION TIMES YES. you picked up on their very essence and i'm pressing consensual kisses to your mind because you read them (and me) like an open book

ALSO!! ABOUT FELIX OMG. you're so right, ofc our wonderful, emotional, observant lix can see the clouds perpetually hanging over ji's head and knows mc will be able to help him scatter them. my fav matchmaker

NEVER, EVER apologize for sending me an essay my star. you genuinely have no idea how happy your ask made me like it's not an exaggeration to say my heart is floating within me rn. that you took apart my fic so tenderly and so perceptively not only enforced my love for writing as a whole but strengthened it manifold. i don't even have the words to thank you as vehemently as i want to but just know i'll be safekeeping your words for a very long time to come 🤍

i treasure you so fucking much. THANK YOU.

#also yes feel free to dm me any time! asks are okay too! whatever you're comfiest with baby #i teared up i love you #*inbox #🪷 anon

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madame-wilsonn · 3 years ago

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To Build a home

MASTERLIST

Summary: Tommy takes you on a journey filled with surprises

A/N: this is my humble attempt at writing for Modern!Tommy for the first time (check out @retromafia headcanons about modern!tommy, they are amazing!!)! I could have written it with...regular Tommy but it made more sense this way. Also this is part of my sweet @peakyswift followers celebration with the prompt “you’re the only thing that matters.” (congratulations again my sweet mae!! You truly deserve it and more and I couldn’t be happier for you!!💗). I kinda turn into some sort of realtor in the beginning so if you want me to sell your house in the future, dms are open lol. I don’t really know what else to say, it may seem a bit rushed because I really wanted to post it before the deadline but, nonetheless I still hope you enjoy it!

Word count: 2,587 words

Warnings: it’s pure fluff, really but I do need to warn you about my writing

“Will you tell me where we’re going at some point?”

Tommy smiled, his eyes still on the road as you analyzed his features, trying to find a clue, anything that could tell you what he had been so adamant to show you.

“You’ll see when we get there, just be patient, love.”

You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest dramatically.

“I hate being patient.”

The man chuckled as you passed a gate, driving through immense grounds. At the end of the way, a manor stood, imposing and yet one of the most sumptuous place you had ever seen. Tommy parked the car in front of an old fountain as you stared at the structure, blown away by its elegant facade.

“What is this place?” you managed to ask as your boyfriend extended his hand, helping you to get out of the car.

“You like it?”

He didn’t need you to reply, the look of pure amazement on your face was enough for him. He kept his hand in yours, guiding you to the hall of the house.

You were met by a huge, wooden staircase, several paintings adorning the walls in the most distinguished way. Tommy guided you through the rooms swiftly, proving he had already been here before. Probably more than once if he managed to not get lost in the maze of splendid bedrooms, grand bathrooms and elegant parlors.

He took you to the dining room, a spacious place with a long table, enough to invite your whole family. Tommy stood behind you, his head resting on your shoulder.

“We could have those huge family dinners you always wanted to throw here.”

You nodded, already imagining all your loved ones around the table, laughing at John’s jokes, listening to Polly’s countless stories of the boys as kids. You thought about the big chandeliers shining on your flushed and happy faces, your heart full and warm as delicious food was set on the table.

You then went to see the kitchen, another huge room. Bigger than your whole flat, the kind you only saw in cooking shows or in luxurious restaurants.

“Well…for someone who can only manage to make pasta, I’m not sure what I can do with all of this”

Tommy chuckled, passing his arm over your shoulder.

“I’ll hire a cook and maids, of course. You’ll never have to lift one finger, just say the words and you’ll get whatever your heart desires.”

You let out a shaky breath as your fingers traveled across the counter.

“It’s really beautiful, Tom”

The man only stared at you, a soft smile stretching his lips as you walked around the room.

“Come on, now. I need to show you something else”

You followed him, a questioning look on your face. You passed by the hall again and Tommy took you to the other side of the house. He showed you the main office - his little cave, like you enjoyed calling it - and then an empty room.

“You told me once you had always wanted to learn the piano.” he whispered to you, his hands on your shoulders as he pushed you inside “we could put one here, right in the middle. And we can add sofas and chairs so your friends can visit. I already asked, the room is exposed south which means you’ll get natural light most of the day and you’ll have a great view over the garden as well.”

You turned around, your heart swelling in your chest. You reached to softly let your fingers run across his jaw in a back-handed caress, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“I love it.”

He let you take a better look of the room, leaning against the wall. You looked like a natural in front of the huge windows, bathed in sunlight. This was the right place for you. He could already see all the happy moments you would share here, he could make you happy. You would have everything you ever needed, everything you ever dreamt of and he could be here to see it, to see your smile every morning, to see you fall asleep peacefully, knowing he could offer you that.

“Alright, now, one last surprise”

“Isn’t all of this enough surprises?” You chuckled but he only shook his head.

“No, I have something else for you”

You followed your particularly secretive boyfriend through a few corridors, holding his hand before he stopped in front of one particular door.

“Close your eyes, love.”

“What’s behind the door, Tom?”

He raised his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes before complying to his request. You heard him turn the knob and gently lead you inside. He cleared his throat, announcing you were now allowed to look.

You were about to tease him for making things so dramatic but the words never left your lips. Instead, you let out an astonished gasp, your hand leaving his to drop on your chest. You tried to contain the turmoil of emotion washing over you as you took in the magnificence of hundreds and hundreds of books, walls of shelves filled with all kinds of works, from philosophy to mystery or romance, the greatest pieces written by the greatest artists ever known in front of your bewildered eyes, waiting to fulfill your insatiable imagination.

“So?”

The question was obviously rhetorical, Tommy only had to look at you to see how much you loved his present. But there was still this small part of him that needed to hear it from you, hear you say it, assure him he wasn’t just making it up.

“Tommy…you…” you let out shakily, walking back to him.

You caressed his cheeks, tears brimming in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him.

“I love you so much.”

The man chuckled as he hugged you close to him, whispering the words back to you. There was nothing else on earth worth more than this. Your dazzling smile and your shiny eyes overflowing with emotions in an everlasting state of bliss. He realized in this moment he would do anything, anything if it meant being the one to make you half as happy as you were now.

He passed a hand through your hair lovingly, leaving a kiss there.

“You’ve always dreamt of having your own library so here it is, it can be yours if you want it” he offered with a smile.

You let out a shaky sigh, giving another look to the room. It was even better than anything you could have dreamt of. It was huge but felt welcoming and warm at the same time. You could already say this was your favorite place in the entire mansion, the inner daydreaming girl you were filled with a sudden rush of happiness.

“It’s beautiful, really, I don't know what to say!”

Tommy chuckled, his arms still holding you.

“Who would’ve thought a room filled with book was enough to make you speechless, eh? I should’ve brought you here much sooner!”

You playfully hit him on his arm, beaming at him.

You came back to the front of the house, next to the car after Tommy finished his visit with the stables and the garden. It was always a sweet sight, the way his eyes would light up every time he would talk about horses, how proud he was of them. He may be a scary businessman most of the time but you enjoyed the softer side of him, the one only you got to see.

“Alright, I still have the house until the afternoon so I was thinking we could have a little picnic here” he proposed, opening the trunk of the car

“Yeah and uh...where are we going to find food? Because I'm not eating mushrooms and berries from the forrest, darling”

As an answer, he pointed towards the small basket he had put in the car early this morning. You walked over, frowning as you took in the contents of the trunk.

“You...prepared a picnic?”

He smiled proudly as you stared at him, completely dumbfounded. Will he ever stop surprising you?

“I passed by that bakery you liked and got us those sandwiches from last time - yes, no onions - and also grabbed the fruits you bought at the market on Saturday”

You chuckled, shaking your head.

“I am the luckiest girl on the planet, hm?” you asked, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Only because you make me the happiest man in the universe”

“Sap” you mumbled as you leaned in to kiss his lips.

You pulled away, grabbing the basket as he took the blanket, closing the car as you explored the grounds for a nice place. Finally, you settled for a spot under a beautiful oak that could shield you from the sun.

It felt good to be here. The first warm days were slowly showing themselves after a long and unforgiving winter followed by a rainy start of spring. It was even better to spend the day on this gorgeous estate, leaning against a tree with Tommy’s head resting on your lap.

You had eaten your lunch, chatting about a bit everything - your friend’s birthday gift that you needed to buy; the shirts you spotted for him when you went shopping; the new movie that came out at the cinema - and somehow you ended up practicing to throw berries in his mouth because, he was the best at this game and you...well you were lucky if you manage to at least get close to his face. Nevertheless, no matter how many times he showed you, you didn’t seem able to improve whatsoever which only gave him excuses to tease you.

Now, you were simply enjoying the nice weather. You were almost sure he had fallen asleep and that you would as well, slowly drifting off to a realm of peaceful reveries.

There, you saw yourself under the oak, Tommy running behind a small toddler who didn't seem capable to sit down for more than a minute. You could see evenings spent watching the sun set and observing the stars shining bright above, holding each other. You could see horseback rides across the land and walks during warm afternoons, falling leaves and glistening snow.

In all the scenarios your limitless imagination created, you could only picture joyful moments. And in all these scenarios, Tommy was by your side.

The sun had covered the land in a gentle, golden embrace as your dreamy, almost surreal day came to an end.

You had gone back to the car, leaving your belongings in the trunk as Tommy took you aside. He gently grabbed your hands in his, dipping his soft cerulean eyes into yours.

“Alright, look...” he sighed, trying to find his words. “I had given up on the idea of having…something good like this. I didn’t think I deserved it - still don’t on most days - but now, I have you and…and you make me feel like maybe it’s not a loss cause.” He began, his trembling hands searching for support in yours. “I wanted to find a place where you can be happy with me, where we can grow together and maybe, someday build a family. Of course, I didn’t bring you here to pressure you or make you feel like you had to say yes. The last thing I want to do is force you into something you're not ready for. But I saw this place and I couldn't stop thinking about it and about you...us, how much the fresh air could be good for you, far from the noise of the city and you’ve always said you wanted to move out at some point so I thought...but honestly, if you don’t like this house, I can find you another.” He rambled. “And if you just don’t want to leave London then it’s good too, we can stay in London and come here on weekends. Or not. We don’t have to come here if you don’t want to. ”

The man let out a heavy sigh as he realized how confusing his speech must sound like, far from his usually assured and clear words. It was just a part of the effect you had over him, how you managed to turn him into a rambling mess when he was feared by most. Thomas Shelby had the whole world at his feet and you? Well, you had Thomas Shelby down at yours.

“I need to give the owners an answer soon and that’s why I wanted you to see it first, have your opinions about it. But I’ll do whatever you want, it’s your call: if you don’t like it or if you’re not ready for this, it’s good too, eh? I don’t care about houses or any of that. I just need you to be happy, the rest doesn’t matter, only you.” He concluded his long discourse, searching into your expression, into your soul any indication of how you felt.

You gazed at him for a moment, taking the time to appreciate the earnestness painting his eyes in the most gentle tone. He didn’t show himself like that often, this raw vulnerability he kept hidden under layers and layers of the façade he managed to build with the years but when he did, trusting you with the most concealed parts of him...you swore you fell in love with him all over again.

You smiled softly at him, allowing your hand to leave his so you could let your fingers trail over his jaw.

“My love, there is nothing in the world that could make me happy like you do. No amount of money or gold or houses can give me what you give to me every single day.” You licked your lips, choosing your next words carefully. “I do see a future with you here and yes, this house is the closest thing to perfection but I can’t and I don’t want to build a home here if it’s not with you. I need you to understand this, first. I don’t want you to believe that…in order to make me happy, you need to buy me this house or any other thing. The only source of my happiness is standing right in front of me, whether it is in a luxurious apartment or a manor or even a tiny shoe box!” He chuckled at your words as you cradled his face in a tender gesture. “But to answer your question: yes, I do love this house and I do want to start a family here - not now, of course - but some day. I want all of this with you. I do, Tom, I really do.”

A weight seemed to have lifted over his shoulders as he realized he could have it all with you by his side. The ideal future he had long lost hoped for now seemed so close to reach, he only needed to extended his hand a little bit and take it.

Tommy kissed your forehead in such a way you thought you might begin to cry. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and gave you another look.

“We’re really doing this?”

You smiled, you beamed, your whole self incapable to contain the overwhelming contentment you felt at the moment. You nodded at him through your teary eyes, your cheeks hurting from grinning so hard.

“Yes, yes we are.”

He kissed your soft lips sealing your promise in the most delicate way.

#thomas shelby fluff #thomas shelby fic #thomas shelby x reader #modern!tommy shelby #modern!au #tommy <3 #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #peakyswift900celebration #anna’s fics

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meowzfordayz · 3 years ago

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hey hey could i request zenitsu with a g/n shy and insecure reader? hurt/comfort with fluff !! ty

Hii. Ty for your request! 💝 I def leaned more into the comfort/fluff than the hurt, but I'm overall content w/ how I wrote this. 😁

Author’s Note: my DMs are always open to anyone and everyone feeling lowkey/highkey shitty.

shy/insecure

Agatsuma Zenitsu x Reader

Word Count: ~1,200

CW: explicit language, traumatic references

~faqs~

Shy

Zenitsu isn’t really canonically shy

#will you marry me ?? after what, 5 seconds ?? #darling desperate boi lmao

But he’s certainly cowardly (don’t come at me — Ik he’s working on it! 🥺)

So having a shy partner wouldn’t feel entirely foreign to him

(the first time you ever properly smiled at him, he basically evaporated)

*poof* 🤗

You never explicitly tell him, “Oh btw I’m shy.”

It’s just something he naturally adjusts to (similar to how he gradually adjusts somewhat to Inosuke’s lack of shyness 😂)

First and foremost, he always goes out of his way to introduce you as his 🥰partner🥰 to literally everyone

—Stopping by a ramen stall for a quick lunch?

“Hello! My wonderful partner and I would like to order blah blah blah.”

Only slightly embarrassing 🥲

Also encourages you to order for yourself, but happily takes charge if you’re feeling overwhelmed

—Run into someone from either of your pasts?

“Did you know [y/n] and I are partners now? Aren’t I lucky?”

If he wasn’t so 🤩, then you’d smack him endearingly, ofc

He can’t help it !! He’s your hype man !! 24/7 !!

And super proud of himself for getting to be your partner

—Even on missions ffs this man’ll still mention you

If you’re together? “Demon! 😡 Before I decapitate you! Isn’t [y/n] incredible? 😃 *gestures to you* They’re my partner. Aren’t they so cuuute? 😃 If you say they’re cute, then I’ll make this painless maybe. 😃”

If he’s solo? “Can we get this over with? 😒 I miss my partner. 😞” Thunder Breathing, first form…

Second, he’s attentive of your cues (nonverbal and verbal), and is mindful about both letting you take the reins and stepping in

—Hanging out in a group setting?

He’s your, “What was that, [y/n]?” person

Chuckles-at-your-witty-jokes/remarks person

Your, “Ooh tell us more?!” person

Patiently supports you throughout the entirety of group activities/conversations, and gives zero fucks if anyone snickers at his doting behavior

Recognizes when you begin fidgeting, glancing at possible escape routes

And is an expert at polite, “Oops, we’ve gotta go!” goodbyes

Overall, he approaches your shyness intimately and thoughtfully

—Doesn’t want or need, let alone expect, you to change for anybody; but is 1,000% your #1 fan if you decide to change anything for yourself

“Can I order for us next time?” “Absolutely!” and then he’ll listen to you, practice w/ you, hold your hand — whatever nurtures your security

—Checks in w/ you constantly: “How are you feeling?” and “Is this okay?” and “I’m here for you.”

“I’m here for you,” is one of his favorites bc it conveys that you’re in control as well as subtly reminding you that he’s got your back ~just in case

—This is cliche af and kinda related to an aforementioned point, but he just… accepts and loves you as you are

Speaks a plethora of “languages” to reassure you that he’s as enamored w/ your shyness as he is w/ the rest of you

Poking your nervously flushed cheeks

Pecking your forehead when you anxiously lower your chin

Complimenting you when you ramble about your new outfit, “Does it fit alright?” Perfect “How does it look?” Stunning

Content in times of silence, trusting you aren’t necessarily mad or sad — just feeling quieter, and he respects that

He respects you 💗

Insecure

Ooh ooh ooh

What happens when an insecure person falls in love w/ an insecure person?

In the real world, it can backfire horribly 💀

But this is the lovely, idealistic world of #author makes the rules !! 😇

So you and Zenitsu inspire, motivate, and build each other up

Feeling disappointed in yourself?

He catches on immediately: can tell w/ the most fleeting of glances when something’s off

—Sometimes you’re open, self deprecation flowing desperately, despairingly, from your quivering mouth: “I’m so weak, so useless, so hopeless.”

He doesn’t interrupt bc he cherishes your vulnerability (even as it saddens, confuses him)

“How can you be weak when you’re here? Breathing, persisting, hurting? Hurting isn’t weak — it’s living, and living isn’t easy. You’re strong, [y/n].”

“I know it’s hard waking up to the faces you’ve lost, the memories you’ve let down. But [y/n], you’re also waking up to the faces you’ve saved, and I swear, I promise. Your memories are proud of you.”

“I’m sorry you feel hopeless, [y/n]. Is there anything I could do? Anything I could say? I understand if it isn’t enough right now, but I want you to know that you’ve got me. My hope is yours. I am yours.”

—Sometimes you’re closed, the almost indiscernible, involuntary curving of your body into itself the only hint of your distress

He doesn’t press, question, or hover

He simply reaches for your hand, your shoulder, your cheek; gripping, squeezing, caressing softly; murmuring, “Tomorrow will come, and you will be as magnificent as you are today.”

Feeling uncertain about your appearance?

—When you’re explicit about your intrusive thoughts, he counters logically, reasonably, firmly

Never invalidates your feelings; never confirms your intrusions

Doesn’t slather on shallow remarks like, “But you’re so pretty!” or, “Shut up, how could you think that?”, bc he knows your thoughts are far from shallow: they’re genuine, soul deep, with no quick fixes

Doesn’t agree w/ you either tho, bc—not that he would ever communicate it like this, but—you’re just so wrong: your body is his favorite temple, your smile his favorite prayer, the sound of your voice his favorite pastime, how you move, how you glow, how you express and dress yourself

In his opinion, you have a singular appearance — beautiful

—When you’re silent, erratically checking and picking, “Nobody’ll notice.” He does

But he doesn’t pounce, berate, or assume

He’ll try increasing physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation

He’ll go through all five love languages, carefully, slowly, figuring out which one you need most

“Thank you,” you whisper, without elaboration

“I love you,” he whispers, knowing exactly why

Overall, he approaches your insecurities appropriately and consistently

—Doesn’t love bomb (definition from Cosmopolitan: excessive attention, admiration, and affection with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person) you when you’re down

—Doesn’t ignore you when you’re up

—Makes ample time to just talk: to ask you, “How are you physically?” and, “How are you mentally?” and, “How are you emotionally?”

Perhaps this degree of maturity seems ooc for Zenitsu, but I wholeheartedly believe in his desire to be a loving, reliable partner, and maturity is vital for that

There’s def a time and a place for “childish” play!

Like surprise piggy back rides, racing to the market, and blowing bubbles

Youthfulness is scintillating, enthralling, important

And guess what? 😉

Maturity and youthfulness can coexist ☺️

P.S. Those last two sentences were not intended to be condescending or sarcastic !! 😅 I just wanted to emphasize that Zenitsu can totally still be his whining, sniffling, absolute baby 😌 self and be a healthy, communicative partner

#zenitsu agatsuma #agatsuma zenitsu #zenitsu x reader #agatsuma x reader #headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #request

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kpophubb · 2 years ago

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Hi lovely ☀️, how’s your Monday ?

I see you have being posting that you are not doing good mentally , I am worried :/ you can always talk to me about anything that bothers you , uk. Just write a kinda ✉️

Sorry I feel disconnected , it’s so hard to provide for myself with no additional financial support :( and this job , they always find some new ways to deduct smth from my payslip 💔

I slept 4h tday , and I feel so not working tday ., such a hard zombie day for me.. I hope you are doing better ?

I wanted to share a new song with you , I like the lyrics and it’s so smoothing (?) let me know if you like it

Also hv u seen txt Comeback,? Your thoughts ?

What’s up with your life now dear ?

I wish you a good week , have a good rest & get better , I’m here if u need me 🧡💛🧡

🐁

Hi hi my 🐁 anonie !! 😘🤍 BEEN A LONG TIME WE LAST TALKED?😭 I’m so happy to get another sweet ask from you. First of all, happy jungwon day 🎉🎂🎁🎈🎊😽

♡…first of all I’m really sorry for the late reply. You sent this on Monday and it’s Thursday already, I’m so sorry I was at my nana’s place and didn’t check tumblr for that while. :(

♡…second of all yeah.., I’m not doing very great atm😓 emotionally or physically. It’s okay please DONOT worry about me or stop talking about your rants just bc you feel like you’re disturbing me and being one sided. I know people who love to help others like you have this tendency, they shut out if they feel like they’re taking too much from someone without giving anything in return! Well i always disappear when I’m feeling bad, bc I like to deal w my mood swings alone but one thing I can tell you is that I have severe levels of social anxiety😓 which makes me really unable to maintain interaction/communication/relationship with people. Well..a lot happened and that caused this problem with me and so, even replying on tumblr, posting fics, answering asks and dms seem so overwhelming to me since the past few weeks. I can’t even open this app OR ANY OTHER APP, just any sort of interaction frightens and drains me so much 💔 it’s not w the people, or the way they talk to me it’s just me and 99% of the times my anxiety and fear that cause me to ghost people and just disappear sigh.

♡…but don’t worry, it’s not that bad cause I don’t mind being away from people, in fact I love it in a sense bc I like spending time with myself so much and it’s honestly very healing. 🤲🏻 🤍

♡… oh anonie everytime I hear about you having a hard time it really pains my heart :( cause you’re so dear to me. 💔 that sounds so rough I wish I could help you in any way and make it all magically better for you! Job life experience seems so hellish I hear so many people talk about it. Maybe I’ll be able to understand you better when I enter that life myself and earn to provide for my self, but that isn’t until I’m 24-25 when I graduate my bachelors program so yeah. I really hope god makes everything better for you, my love. I’ll be sure to include you in my sincere prayers.💗

♡… oh no 4 hours really seem so tiring and exhausting!😭 anonie I hope you can sleep better in the upcoming days! Being zombie sucks I know, I was zombie yesterday. I came back from a 5 hour car journey with the worst kinda sunny weather, so I was so sick 🤢 I passed out before 10 pm and woke up at 5:58 am today so I can tell I had an amazing sleep 🤲🏻

♡… new song huh?🤩 born again, okay I’ll be sure to listen to it. Also here’s a song suggestion by me that I feel like you’d love, it’s my current fav. It’s “skeletons” by Keshi! Also about txt, I don’t listen to their music unfortunately. Sadly, our music taste doesn’t align, that is exactly why I don’t Stan them. I just love them and their personalities a lot!!

♡… my life is so-so rn but I’m still so so grateful for everything I have! My life is still loaded with many many blessings so I’m always thankful for where I am, who I am and what I have! ✨ anonie, know that you can always talk to me too and I really cherish and love you. 🥺💜 life will get better please do not stress and look at the bright side no matter how small it is. Sometimes even being alive is a gift we should cherish. Cause as long as you wake up, everyday is a new chance. 🌟

𝕴 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝕾𝖔 𝕸𝖚𝖈𝖍

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago

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Hello love,

could I please vent a little bit to you? That would honestly mean so much for me. It's totally alright if not, then please ignore the following!

I want to escape. Escape from my life, from the people around me, from my surroundings and everything I am. I don't know where I want to go to, but I know that I don't want to stay where I'm. I want a place where I can be my 100% purest and most authentic self, without being laughed upon or critisized or pressured. A place, so peaceful that I finally feel free and happy. I'm sick of sadness, desperation, longing and the feeling of being trapped and suffocated. I want to live surrounded by so much love and understanding, where I'm being accepted and appreciated even for my attempt at trying. I know I'm a lot; I'm full of problems, really awkward, totally annoying and exhausting. But I'm not a hopeless waste of time, at least I hope that I'm not. I want to live in harmony, no tears and yelling. I want to be happy, truly happy. Not just happy because I bottle everything I'm and feel up. I want to be ME. I don't want to be a burden, yet I'm. I don't want to annoy people, yet I'm. I don't want to be rude or inconsiderate, yet I'm. I'm trying so hard, every day. I'm fighting to be a better person, every day. But I never change. I'm still me. Forever alone and disappointing the people around me. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear... I don't want to shed any more tears, just because I'm not enough. Maybe trying will never be enough. Maybe I will never be enough. Every day I long to find a place that feels right. A person who is capable of loving me, despite all my weaknesses. A home that calms me down when I feel like losing my mind, like losing myself. A purpose that fills me with happiness and makes me feel content. A place that accepts even someone like me. A place that glues all my broken pieces back together. A place where I don't have to blame myself for everything that is wrong. I just want the suffering to end...

Hello, honey!💕💕💕

You just sent me another ask which mentioned briefly which you’re not feeling well right now, and on the off chance that this vent from a few days ago pertains to that, I’m answering this now. I’m so sorry that you’re not feeling well, my love, and I hope that my response is what you need for it to be in any kind of way.

Due to the length of my response, I have put everything below a cut!💙💙💙

My love, you can always vent to me about absolutely anything. I am here for you and I’ll always do my best to listen to you at the very least. Thank you for reaching out to vent to me, angel, I’m so proud of you and I hope that even one thing I say here will be a comfort to you!💗🥰

Oh, darling.

First, angel:

(And if you don’t like hugs then please accept a head nod instead! ~ 💙)

I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way and that you’re going through this. When I read this through for the first time, my heart was aching for you. I can relate to and empathise with wanting to escape, angel, and I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this. Wanting to escape is such a heavy feeling and it’s usually indicative of something not being right somewhere. Take good care of you, my love; body, mind and soul. You deserve to spend time with yourself and to give yourself the things you like. Life’s easier when you’re on your own side.💗

I’m so sorry that you don’t want to stay where you are, angel.😔 You deserve a place, even if that’s just your bedroom, to be yourself, to do as you are and to be as you are without fear of judgement or criticism or any kind of pressure (and you know that our DM thread is a place like that for you, I hope!💖). I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so much, my love. Feeling sad, desperate, yearning and feeling like you’re suffocating are all very heavy and intense emotions and they’re all valid. I’m so proud of you for getting through each day in the ways that you are, though I’m sorry that you’re having to in the first place, honey. You deserve so much better than this and you’re being so strong and brave to face every day in the ways that you are. I can relate and empathise, angel, I feel the same way as far as wanting to be far away from where I am, and it’s incredibly difficult to deal with.

Is there anything you can change in your life? I don’t mean situations or circumstances, but if you can move something in your bedroom then it may help to freshen things up even a little bit - putting your mug coaster somewhere else or even changing your duvet set or something. Just small changes in your routine or in anything else which is immediate. This is not your forever situation, my love. I know that it’s easier said than believed but all we have is today and all we can control is this literal current moment - so take everything one hour at a time or even a minute at a time, if you need to. Just please look after you. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. You’re such a loving and gentle person and you deserve the entire world and I know that there is more for you than this, angel, whatever this is.

You deserve to be surrounded by love and understanding, acceptance and appreciation and everything else which you desire and I’m so sorry that you don’t receive those things. You are worthy of and deserving of all of these things and more and one day you will have those things. In which case, I hope that it’s in abundance and so much love that you don’t know what to do with yourself, because you deserve the very best of everything. Oh, honey. 🥺 You’re not annoying or exhausting - you are you and you are beautiful and wonderful, tender and loving and a joy to interact with!💖 You’re a dear friend to me and I’m so sorry that you feel this way about yourself. You are enough. You are worthy or and deserving of the things you want the most. You are enough and anyone who says otherwise can go and sit on a cactus. I love you darling. You are not a hopeless waste of time - you exist so therefore you are worthy and you deserve to be loved and there is always hope so long as you are alive, this I firmly believe.

You deserve happiness, love and light and joy and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this and feeling everything that you are, angel. You deserve better and more and I’m sending you so, so much strength. The way that you are naturally in any given moment is everything and you’re an amazing person. You deserve to be you. You’re wonderful. You’re trying, my love, and that’s more than many people can say for themselves - you’re so much more than you know and you’re doing everything that you can and I am so, so proud of you!!!🥰🥰🥰 I’m sending you lots of love, darling, and I want you to remember that trying is enough. I also want you to remember that you are always, always enough. No ifs, buts or maybes about you - you. are. enough.

Hold on, my angel. You’re doing so, so well. Keep your loved ones close, do things for you and take care of yourself and of your body, and know I’m always here for you. You deserve love, a home, purpose, joy and happiness and I’m wishing all of those things for you in abundance. You deserve the world. I’m so so proud of you and I love you and I’m always here for you.

With all my love,

Fawn ~ 💜

#thoughts #advice #<-- ref tag #lunamooney2406

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