#I’m in a weird in-between mood

[moonieandi]

ao3 update:

Just switched both my works on ao3 to just registered users as of right now. Apparently some company did a sweep and used all of ao3 for some generative AI bullshit. Which I had no clue about until I got around to opening my phone for the first time this weekend- ugh

It’s so upsetting that some company out there would take everyone’s generous free publications online and try to turn it around to farm their AI hellscape. It actually flabbergasts the fuck out of me how any of that is legal- ESPECIALLY with profit tied to it all. I’ll never understand the logistics of it- it was already bullshit when it came to generative AI art - TRUST me I was mad about that. But the writing? Ah man like that the hell :(

Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant on my end… I plan on writing some more in the near future. Whether it’s another chapter or a one shot of some of my writing as of late we’ll see, but I may just restrict it to Tumblr for a while until things blow over. Not sure we’ll see

Hope everyone’s good ❤️love you all stay safe!

[littlexdeaths]

i want to change my theme

[gregmarriage]

someone talk to meeeeeeee!!! 👉🏻🥺👈🏻

[mars-ipan]

outdoors time :)

[cathnospam]

Your best friend Bakugo has a very interesting habit of laying FACE DOWN between your thighs when he comes over.

It’s not often he comes to your dorm since he’s been so busy lately, but when he can, he either takes you away from UA or lock your door and spend the evening there with you if he’s not in the mood with anybody else. Which you don’t mind, next to Kiri and Deku you’re his closest friend. #1 closest female friend he ever had . Probably for as long as you both became self aware.

And when you both do the second option to stay in your room he goes to use your shower, comes out with nothing but his dog tag you got him and black sweats. You’re usually laying on your back reading something on tumblr or playing on your switch when you feel the weight of your best friend spread your legs and comfortably lay between your thighs.

The only slight problem is that once he is completely out of it he shift his head a lot and he lands face first in your crotch.

It’s not THAT BAD, you’re not technically feeling anything seeing as your body is not extremely sensitive to touch, but his forehead on your pelvis, but you’ve looked up at your full length mirror to see how he sleeps on you and if anybody walked in…

well…

it would look like he’s eating rather than sleeping.

You clearly don’t hate it nor complain, you just don’t remember when he ever became this touchy.

Once you started to fall asleep your hands landed in his hair, fingers twitching causing a small scratch to his scalp. He’d wake up before you, a small string of spit on your inner thigh he wipes off and that’s what stirs you awake.

“My bad.” The rasp in his voice makes you blink yourself awake, holding your upper half on your elbows, “We been sleep for 5 hours? the hell.” He got up from his position to stretch and grabbed a water from your fridge.

“Well you seemed exhausted…and comfortable. Didn’t wanna wake ya.”

Your tone made him turn his head at you and glare, “The hell that’s supposed to mean.”

“Nothing,” You already knew this was going to turn into a bickering fiasco, so you debated for a moment if you should indulge him or not,

and you did.

“You just needa start sleeping on your back and not your stomach.”

“Don’t tell me how to sleep.”

“Well if i’m going to be your personal pillow I just want you to know about how badly you sleep on me if someone were to walk in on us.”

“What?!”

You reach out and take his hand, he stares at it before your grab it to pull him down and readjust him to the same position he was when sleeping, but turned his head to face the mirror, “Ya see.”

“I—“

It’s like you could feel his cheek warm up, his hands definitely started to sweat as they gripped your leg, his face was a mix of anger and embarrassment, you wasn’t sure if this was something he may unfriend you for actually.

“Well why didn’t you say anything!?…Pervert.”

“PER-PER-PERVERT?!”

“YES PERVERT?”

“I didn’t wanna annoy you while you slept last time i did you fucking popped me with an explosion! ….And my thighs are soft and smooth I don’t need no bruisers and scars on ‘em!”

“Oh for fucks sake.” Bakugo groans in annoyance to get up and grabs his bag, but he honestly didn’t want to leave, but he’s bakugo of course he’s going to be dramatic, “Just say you liked it and get over it.”

“You liked it too?! I’m not mad or anything you can use me all you want, ‘Suki.”

“Oh don’t make it fucking weird, y/n.”

He did though. He kept sleeping between your thighs because whether he admits it or not you’re the best sleep he’s ever had.

Just this time he sleeps on his back.

[kunasthiast]

bathroom meetings

you were finally in the tub.

bubbles everywhere. hair piled up. candle lit. mood set was divine. perfect silence. peace. it was your me time. after a ridiculous week that felt like being hit repeatedly with a spreadsheet and then lit on fire, the only thing you wanted was solitude and maybe for your skin to absorb enough lavender oil to knock you out for twelve hours.

sukuna had been in full corporate tyrant mode the past few days. buried in meetings. constantly yelling into headsets like he was declaring war (he might’ve been).

there were moments you’d pass by the home office and hear him through the closed doors: “i said quarterly projections, not emotional projections. are you fucking with me?”

in that same low, terrifying voice he used when he was threatening that random guy on the street who once slapped your head thinking you were his friend. and obviously, that’s the tone that meant someone’s career was about to combust.

not that sukuna had been ignoring you, though. there were still sleepy kisses in the morning. half-asleep cuddles at night. coffee mug swaps between meetings. the quiet, steady kind of love. but you missed him. his annoying, smug, feral ass. just a little.  

so when the bathroom door creaked open mid-bath, you didn’t even flinch. you just knew. and yep, there he was.

dragging in his entire goddamn office chair. into the fucking bathroom.

yes, a literal, high-backed, leather executive monstrosity. the one he always dramatically called ‘the only chair that respects my spine.’ he wheeled it in like he was about to conduct a strategy meeting in your bubble sanctuary. and then he parked it casually beside the sink, facing you.    

you blinked at him from your lavender-scented cocoon of suds, “what the hell, babe… are you serious right now?”

“hi, baby,” he said, already settling into the seat like this was perfectly reasonable. “i wanna spend time with you. so i brought my chair.”

“…in the bathroom?”

“yeah, got a problem with it? you’re hot. the lighting’s warm. the air smells like that purple crap you love. it’s a vibe. this is my happy place.”

you stared at him. “you brought your chair.”

“‘course I did,” he said, already opening his laptop (he fucking brought one) and clicking away like this was just another thursday. “i’m swamped. figured i could do my stupid shit and look at you. productivity. efficiency. serotonin. and dopamine. win-win.”

you squinted at him. he never used that many words to justify something unless he was spiraling. which meant that he’s fucking really drained for today – an oddity. sukuna never gets drained. he had the chaotic stamina of a toddler with an espresso machine. weird visual, but whatever. 

“you just wanted to watch me and pretend it was multitasking.” you teased.

“baby, i don’t need to pretend to watch you,” sukuna replied without shame, eyes flicking down over your shoulders, lingering for a breath too long. “i’m your husband. it’s practically in the vows.”

you groaned and slid lower into the bubbles. “you’re so annoying. you have zero concept of personal space.”

“bold of you to say when i was balls deep in you last week,” he muttered, eyes back on the laptop screen.

you rolled your eyes. “rude. that was emotional love-making, actually.”

“you cried after,” he added helpfully, with a teasing grin this time, looking at you.

“i was overstimulated and exhausted!”

“from all the love,” he said, voice dropping slightly as he winked. “you looked so fuckin’ pretty like that, by the way. all whimpery and soft. should’ve taken a photo. mental health purposes.” he then turned back to his laptop and continued doing whatever shit he was doing like he hadn’t just shattered your dignity. 

“god, you’re insufferable,” you sighed, watching him lean back and spread his legs like he owned the damn place (he does). shirtless. and just in his boxers. basically, a menace in soft lighting.

“only for you,” he said, then paused, dragging his eyes down again. his fingers slowed on the keyboard. “you always sit like that in the tub when you want me to look.”

you froze slightly. “‘kuna, i’m literally just bathing.”

“uh-huh. with your knees poking out of the bubbles like that. water dripping down your collarbone. are we pretending you’re not trying to make me fail this report?”

you stared him down. “you’ve been shirtless all day. i haven’t said a word.”

“you bit me earlier. for no reason.”

“you were walking around with a pen in your mouth like a chew toy!”

he grinned and stretched out in the chair, legs wide, muscles relaxed. “ohhh, my bad, madame la professeur. je m’excuse.” his voice dipped, teasing. “would you prefer I recite conjugations again?” 

you choked on a laugh, bubbles shifting. “no... baby, stop. i don’t wanna heart it,” you said as you covered your ears.

“sweetheart, you threatened to drown me with a beret when i said ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi’ in class.”

“because you said it in front of the TA! and winked at me after saying that, who does that?”

“me, obviously. and now look at us,” he gestured vaguely between the two of you, “still conjugating. still undressing with language.”

“gross.”

“grammatical,” he corrected smugly.

“anyway,” you huffed, “this was supposed to be sacred alone time.”

“correction,” he said, typing, “this is now sacred us time.”

“i can’t believe this is what my marriage looks like.”

he looked up again, glasses low on his nose. hair messy from a full day of stress-yanking (not love-making). dark eyes locked onto you like you were another report he was ready to manhandle. “consider me your emotional support office chair. i’m quiet. i click keys. i’m shirtless. it’s a wellness experience, brat.”

you gave him a deadpan look. “remind me again why you’re still doing reports when you own the entire damn company?”

“because my exec team is full of morons and apparently need their daddy to babysit the fucking budget.” he muttered, his eyes back on the screen.

“… so you really say that in meetings? ‘don’t worry, daddy’s here with the spreadsheets’?”

he gave you a withering look. “baby, don’t make me come over there and show you why they call me that.”

you sat up straighter, mock-scandalized. “you are not turning my bath into a boardroom kink.”

“oh, please,” he snorted. “you’d let me reorganize your filing system if i said that it in that voice.”

 “try me,” you puffed your cheeks and threatened, “i will throw a loofah at you. and for the record, ‘kuna? this is ambush. i was having sacred time, you bulldozer.”

“and yet… you married me.”

“temporarily lost judgment.”

“five-year lapse?”

you rolled your eyes in annoyance. “shut up. you’re ridiculous.”

“correct. and in love.” he said easily, shifting the laptop onto his other lap. and you let out a soft laugh at that because you know it’s true. 

for a moment, he didn’t say anything. just watched you, still half-soaked in warm light and bubbles. his eyes lingered, not with hunger and mischief, but with something softer. like he was memorizing. or making sure you’re here.

“you good, babe?” you asked.

he blinked, like coming back from wherever his head has gone. “yep, just…” he shrugged. “you’re the best part of the day, baby. seriously though, i missed you,” he said voice quieter now, like it didn’t just knock the air out of your lungs.

you blinked and froze a little. not because he said it, but because of how soft he said it. you rolled your eyes again, but your heart was already melting. “i’ve been busy. you’ve been busy. it’s fine.”

“it’s not fine,” he said, not looking up from the screen. “i like working. but i like you more. well, love. whatever, you know.”

that... shut you up a little. for a whole minute, even. you stared at him as candlelights softened the hard lines of his face. he was typing again, brows furrowed, but his jaw was tight.

“… okay, damn. for someone who threatened brad from finance with a stapler, that’s surprisingly romantic, ‘kuna.” you said quietly.

he cracked a small smile. “brad’s an idiot. you, on the other hand, are my peace.”

you were silent for a second and sighed out relief you’ve been wanting to let out for the past week. “well, you’re a clingy little bitch.”

“only for you, baby,” he said without missing a beat. then he smirked and cocked his head, eyes sliding over your shoulder, chest, legs – all barely hidden under the bubbles. 

“also, this bath is really doing things to my productivity levels. like, negative productivity. you gonna stand up at some point or do i have to pretend i dropped something in your bathwater?” he added, clearly back to his cocky self.

you threw the loofah at him. he caught it one-handed. “you’re such a menace.”

“only for you, brat,” he repeated again, softer this time. then added, “also, your left boob’s out. always a ten out of ten.”

“get out.”

“i just got comfortable,” he grinned. “and again… i’m your husband. my perving is legally protected.”

––

a/n: lol i went thru a writing slump last month and i can't think of anything – and thank heavens i've maxxed out my scrolling that i was able to come out of that coping (from a failed subject and delayed grad) lol so here's another husband!sukuna just bc and this ain't proofread

[dykebehaviour]

messy high sex with loser!stoner!ellie

cw: established relationship, stoner!ellie, getting high together, high sex, fingering r!receiving, oral r!receiving, face sitting, light dom/sub, messy.

wc: 3k

the garage is hazy.

not just like mood lighting hazy, actually hazy. smoke curling from the fat joint burning in ellie’s fingers, lazily drifting up into the dim glow of a single yellow lightbulb swaying from the ceiling. one of the windows is cracked, but it’s not helping.

you’re both stoned out of your minds.

ellie is spread out on the old couch she dragged in from someone’s porch last spring, legs wide, head tilted back, looking criminally hot in her ratty flannel and grease-smudged jeans. her hair’s a mess, her cheeks flushed, and she’s smiling at nothing.

correction: she’s smiling at you.

“you look like a little baked blueberry,” she says, grinning sideways. “like, if a fruit got high.”

you blink, then immediately dissolve into giggles. “that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”

“thank you,” she says proudly, handing you the joint.

you take it, still laughing, and inhale deep. the hit burns, sweet and earthy and sharp, but it slides down smoother than it should. you hold it in. then exhale, slow.

your head tips back against the pile of blankets you’re both sprawled on. the garage smells like weed and motor oil and that weird pine soap ellie insists on using. there’s a half-dismantled gun on the workbench, a crumpled bag of chips on the floor, and your girlfriend’s calloused hand resting lazily on your inner thigh like it belongs there.

“y’know,” she says after a beat, her voice slower now, “i think this is my favorite place on earth.”

you glance over. “your… garage?”

“yeah. got all my favorite shit in here.” she nods, dead serious. “my comics. my weed. my girl.”

you snort. “you named your comics before me?”

“okay, but to be fair, you don’t have cool drawings inside of you.”

you hum, pretending to pout. “yeah…but i give you really good head.”

her face breaks. “holy shit,” she wheezes, nearly choking on air. “that’s the hottest and dumbest thing i’ve heard you say. you’re so gross. marry me.”

you’re already laughing when her hand slips further up your thigh. the teasing suddenly shifts, fingertips dragging under the hem of your shorts, featherlight. intentional.

she’s still giggling as she leans over you, but her gaze is darker now. hungrier. “c’mere,” she murmurs, crawling over your lap like she’s forgotten how knees work. “wanna kiss you.”

you meet her halfway.

it’s a high kiss; deep and lazy, a little too wet, all teeth and tongue and muffled laughter. you’re both buzzing, warm and giggly and aching underneath it all. her lips taste like weed and cherry gatorade. her hands are rough where they slide up your hoodie, dragging fabric with them.

she fumbles a bit with the hem. “why do you wear so many layers?” she whines. “god, i just wanna suck your tits.”

“you’re so romantic,” you giggle, arms already raised to help her. “truely a poet.”

“shut up,” she mutters, grinning as she kisses down your neck, licking a stripe right under your ear just to be annoying. “you love it.”

you do.

you love her messy, stoned affection. the way her mouth finds every inch of skin like it’s her job. the way she’s already pushing you back down, crawling between your legs, hoodie bunched around your ribs and her hand sliding under your waistband like she needs to be touching you.

“you’re already wet,” she groans, burying her face in your neck. “fuck, baby-how?”

“i’m high and you’re hot,” you mumble. “do the math.”

ellie groans, full-body and ridiculous. “you’re gonna kill me.”

she’s breathing heavier now, hand pushing your underwear aside. her fingers are warm and eager and way too blunt at first - you both gasp when she presses too hard, then immediately start laughing.

“shit-fuck-sorry,” she stammers. “i forgot what fingers are.”

“you have them, ellie. it shouldn’t be that hard.”

“yeah, well, you’re distracting.” she kisses your jaw, your shoulder, her voice dropping. “you make me forget everything but how fucking good you feel.”

you gasp when she finally gets it right, two fingers dragging slow and slick through your folds. teasing. pressing.

“fuck,” you breathe. “ellie-“

“yeah, baby?” her voice is rough. “you want me?”

you nod.

“say it.”

“i want you,” you whisper, tugging her closer. “want you inside.”

that’s all she needs.

she groans again, louder this time, like it physically hurts her to hear it. then she’s pushing inside, slow, messy, deep, and your back arches, fingers digging into her shoulders.

“god-fuck..ellie.”

she watches your face as she fucks you, eyes half-lidded, messy strands falling into her eyes, high and wild and completely, totally obsessed with you.

“you look so fucking hot right now,” she pants, thrusting slow and hard. “gonna make me come in my pants just watching you.”

“you better not,” you gasp, nails raking down her back. “you’re working. you’re on the clock.”

she barks out a laugh and kisses you; sloppy and rough, her rhythm faltering as she rocks into you faster.

your legs wrap around her waist. the couch creaks. you’re half on the cushions, half sliding to the floor, and neither of you care. she adds a third finger, crooked just right, and your hips buck so hard she nearly falls off.

“jesus fuck-you’re-“

“say it,” she growls.

“you’re fucking good at this,” you moan. “this is way better than your boring ass comics.”

“oh my god,” she pants, blushing furiously. “never say that during sex ever again.”

you both dissolve into giggles. her fingers never stop.

your high peaks as you crash into your orgasm - loud, shaking, stars behind your eyelids. you’re still whimpering when she slows down, pulling her hand free with a filthy little sound and a grin so smug you want to slap it off.

“that was hot,” she says, voice thick. then she licks her fingers clean and immediately chokes.

“ellie?!”

“i forgot i had cottonmouth,” she coughs, eyes watering.

you’re dying laughing as you roll next to her, fully on the couch. “you dumbass.”

“you’re still dating me,” she croaks.

“unfortunately.”

she kisses you anyway. slow and messy and stupidly sweet.

you groan and grab her flannel, yanking her down on top of you again.

“take your pants off.”

she doesn’t argue.

it’s frantic - ellie kicking her jeans off, boxers bunched around one ankle, her shirt caught halfway over her head as she fumbles with it - and you’re giggling through your second wind, already crawling into her lap.

“you’re gonna suffocate me with your tits,” she wheezes, face buried in your chest.

“that’s the goal, dummy.”

you push her back and straddle her face. her eyes go wide, her hands flying up to grip your thighs, and then-

“oh my god,” ellie chokes out. “is this-are you actually…fuck-“

you sit down slow.

her mouth is already open.

she moans like she’s being fed something divine, her tongue immediately lapping at your pussy, licking from your entrance up to your clit in long, flat strokes. her hands are digging into your thighs like she’s trying to anchor herself, her mouth wet and messy and desperate.

you grind down, gasping, and ellie whines, eyes fluttering shut, tongue circling your clit, her whole body jerking when you tug her hair.

you look down. her eyes are glazed and heavy-lidded, lips shiny, nose brushing your pussy like she wants to drown.

“you’re such a loser,” you pant, hips grinding.

she pulls back just enough to mumble, “yeah, but i’m your loser.”

and then she sucks your clit into her mouth and you collapse.

the second orgasm hits harder, your thighs clenching around her head, your nails digging into her scalp, your whole body twitching as you ride it out on her face, eyes rolling back. ellie moans into you, humping the couch beneath her like she’s getting off just from eating you.

you slump off her lap like you’ve been shot.

“holy fuck,” you breathe, hair plastered to your forehead. “i think i forgot my name.”

ellie looks ruined.

her face is soaked, her cheeks flushed, her lips red and puffy. her flannel’s still on, but it’s hanging open now, her tank top bunched under her tits, her boxers askew. she looks like the definition of wrecked.

and she’s grinning.

“worth it,” she croaks.

you snort. “you’re disgusting.”

“thank you,” she says with a dumb smile. “i’m in love with you.”

“…so like. can we have sex every time we get high?”

you laugh, “babe, i think you’re addicted to me now.”

“yeah,” she mumbles. “way better than my comics.”

you roll on top of her and kiss her again, tasting yourself on her tongue.

and yeah, maybe the garage smells like weed and sex and burnt rubber.

maybe you’re both too high to walk straight for the next hour.

but ellie’s arms are warm around you, and her lips are soft, and she kisses you like she means it - every time, every breath, every word.

perm taglist: @yasmilks , @natsheretic , @lovemiraamira , @ellies-real-wife , @wewerewildandfluorescent , @jullsii , @eyesttokill , @dmenby3100 , @bunchogravie , @oneinameliann , @intheshadowofthestars , @pariiissssssss , @vanpalmertruther , @madsxh1022 , @rbnvrnxoxo , @firefly-ace , @alyaserrax , @silly-pigeon69 , @glassofgreenteapls , @pearlsiie , @aj0elap0l0gist , @sincerelyherz , @imsiriuslycool , @0phantom0 <3

[luveline]

hi hii jade! Was wondering if you could do something sweet and fluffy w poly!marauders where reader wakes up in a very cozy and giggly mood 🤭 just some warm domestic love hehe

thank you for requesting! fem, 1k

Someone is kissing his waist. Sirius squirms in his dozing, not expecting it as those kisses travel up his naked chest. Your laugh is breathy and soft as you kiss his shoulder, your weight strewn across his side and arm, your hand finding his cheek. 

Your fingers feel inhuman in the best way, like an angel. They spread across his face and neck as you hold him in place and kiss the skin where his neck meets his shoulder. “I love you…” you whisper, the ‘you’ turning long and slow like honey slipping down his front. “I wish you didn’t sleep so much.” 

You kiss him again, and with that you’re out of bed. Out of the room before Sirius has time to gather his wits, but he does gather them, because he needs more of whatever that was. 

What sort of sweetheart kisses somebody with such gentleness thinking they won’t remember? To press affection into him with want of nothing in return. He doesn’t even bother getting dressed, just scrubs at his sleep-swollen face and fishes the crusties from his eyes as he descends the stairs, numb-legged. 

James is grabbing you by the hips, helping you up onto the counter. His curls bounce at the back of his neck. “What’s gotten into you?” he asks. 

“Love, for sure.” 

“I can see that. Eggs? Omelette?” 

“Jamie, you can make anything. Actually, let me make you something–”

James pushes you further onto the top. “That’s okay, I’m cooking. I want to cook.” 

Sirius isn’t insecure, exactly. He feels he’s quite handsome when he attempts to be, and he knows you like him whether he’s trying or not, but he doesn’t know if you want to be interrupted, either of you, and it’s his private agony to wonder what to do. Then you spot him over James’ shoulder and your eyes practically sparkle. 

“Siri…” you sing-song, melodic as he crosses the kitchen linoleum to be with you and James. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” 

Sirius touches James’ elbow with love but swoops in on you. “Did you wake me?” he asks, kissing your cheek, his arms working behind you to hold you as his lips travel downward. He isn’t half as sweet as you were, too busy trying to squeeze your torso against his and mould you into a perfect fit against him and under his arm to really think about what he’s doing. 

“She did it to me, too.” 

Sirius pulls your face into his neck and turns to James with a grin. “And Remus?” 

“He was already awake. But she kissed him and did that thing where her eyes somehow look bigger and shiny and he had to go for a walk.” 

“He didn’t have to go for a walk,” you mumble from Sirius’ neck. “He always walks on Saturday mornings. He’s just getting some herbs from the greenhouse.” 

The back door opens on cue. Remus reappears with an aura about him much like yours, dropping the cut herbs on the cutting board, and stopping just shy of everyone to smile. “Did she do it to you, as well?” he asks. 

James squeezes Remus’ face in his hand, a quick thank you for the herbs that has the latter turning pink. 

“She waylaid me with kisses like a common whore.” 

“Sirius,” James says scornfully. 

“Me being the whore,” Sirius says. You laugh into his neck, seemingly with no inclination to leave the circle of his arms. “Will I ever see your face again?” he asks. 

“It’s cozy here. I wish we’d stayed in bed.” 

“We can go back.” 

“After breakfast,” James says, popping an egg on the edge of the frying pan, breaking the shell one handed as he gives the sizzling oil a shake. 

Remus not so subtly crosses the last of the space to slot himself between your right thigh and the counter. Sirius has the urge to cup his cheek as James had done —Remus has an extremely holdable face— but is distracted by your nose nuzzling the line of his throat. 

“I love you,” you say. 

Doesn’t matter who you’re talking to. All three boys melt. 

“I’d like to do some really weird things to you,” Sirius says. 

“Me too,” James agrees. “But we do need breakfast first.” 

“No one is doing anything weird to me, it’s the weekend.” You beam as Remus laughs, seemingly your intention. 

Sirius backs away to a polite but still close proximity. He isn’t selfish; being in a ‘strange’ relationship like this one is a lot of reading cues, and a lot of just plain old climbing into people's laps when you want them, because nobody can truly read minds. Yet Sirius can see that you’re in the sort of mood where everything you touch turns to gold and all the boys want a piece of you, and who is he to get in the way of that? 

Well, he’s your boyfriend. He takes a kiss before he delegates himself to being herb-chopper, stealing glances of you from the corner of his eye. 

You tease a strand of Remus’ hair behind his ear. 

“Weird stuff is for weekdays only,” you’re murmuring. “What I want today is the real romantic stuff.” 

“Then you can have it,” Remus murmurs back. 

Sirius will happily be doing very romantic things to both of you after his omelette. James, too, if he’s so inclined. 

[militaryapple]

lock in with me rq,,, desperate whiny caleb that promised “its just the tip” and “it doesn’t really count” bc its for practice bc ur a virgin in college and he’s obviously not!! (hes fucking lying) and as soon as he feels ur tight wet cunt he cant help but want more….hes like a dog…he gets so whiny and needy and so fucking desperate its so pathetic…good god im gonna lose it

JUST THE TIP!

synopsis. you tell caleb that you're a virgin, and he proposes he help you with the little problem

cw. fem!reader, switch caleb, fingering, p in v (stay protected girliepops), praise, usage of "puppy" and "doll, breeding, very needy and desperate caleb as ordered! hes so worthless i need him :(

add ons. i rlly ike sub caleb rn if anyones noticed HAHAHA here you go sweetie!

wc. 1.8k so short ik sorry :,(

how did you even lose your virginity to caleb?

it was earlier. you and caleb were in your dorm, like usual. caleb had put on some shitty romance movie he was interested in, his laughs following the queued ones whenever they go off — while you were busy scrolling on your phone. looking at people and their love life’s, only making you sigh.

thats when you realized, you’ve never fucked anyone before. oh how embarrassing that was to just realize it, you weren’t that extroverted in high school so obviously you didn’t mess around.. but college? your third year? now how embarrassing was that? you slumped over putting your phone down and laying your face in your pillow.

caleb looked over at your movements, pausing his movie and tugging on your shoulder to get you to flip back over. “someone’s not in a good mood if she’s feelin’ like suffocating herself in her dorm.” he teased. you could only kick your feet up in response and let out a groan. “caleb.. not the time for jokes.” you whined out before letting out another groan.

caleb nodded and shuffled, laying on his side to look at you better. “alright, what’s up pip-squeak?” he asked softly, his hands making their way to your head as he stroked it occasionally playing with your hair. you placed your hands to your face in embarrassment before muttering out. “it’s, silly.” you said, your voice lowering.

“silly?” caleb perked, his hands pushing yours off your face. “come on, tell me what’s up.” you rolled your eyes and then turned to your side, facing him and playing with the cover underneath you, avoiding his eyes. “i um.. caleb i’m a virgin — in college, i dunno i just.. it’s embarrassing i’ve never even..” your voice trailed off as you dipped your head.

caleb laughed, and you perked up. instinctively putting your hand out to smack him a couple of times on his shoulder. “shut up! it’s not fucking funny! this is serious!” you squealed throwing punching as he tried to catch his breath, he used his evol to push your hands away as he settled back into his original position, looking at you.

“that’s funny, haha. if you’re so worried about it, how about i help you out? i’m also a virgin, and since we know each other it shouldn’t be awkward — we aren’t even going to do the serious stuff, alright?” he hummed, moving towards you as his handles trickled up to your sides.

so when you agreed, caleb got up and brought you closer to him, humming as he sat you in between his legs, spreading yours and planting kisses on your neck. you squirmed while he used his evol to hold you down in place. “uh-uh, this is important pip-squeak.” he said in-between kisses, his hand massaging your thighs while his thumb made occasional grazes against your panties, pressing down on your nub.

you shuddered in response, letting out sweet little moans for him, caleb looked over at you, already twitching. his other hand making its way up your shirt, flicking and pulling on your sensitive nipples. “caleb — oh, this feels, so weird,” you whined out, your hands grabbing on his legs while he toyed with your body as he pleased.

his hands in-between your thighs finally ceased movement, now moving towards your panties. two fingers pressing against your cunt, then rubbing circles around your nub, only making you twitch in response. “caleb!” you squeaked. “i know baby, this is how it feels, you want to experience it yeah? let me show you how good i can make you feel for your first time.” he coo’d.

fuck was he hard, his tip twitched at the sounds of your gasps, your little pants and the occasional “caleb”s that escaped your lips. your panties we’re soaked, and he took that as a sign of you being ready. “shh, juuust gotta stretch you out.” he leaned down, placing another kiss on your neck as you sobbed. his fingers reaching for your waistband, tugging on it before slipping his hands between your panties.

you shivered underneath him, his cold hands brushing past your slick, making their way to your sensitive nub, rubbing his thumb against it; then pinching it softly. “oh, oh please caleb i — that feels good,” your eyes swelled and caleb hummed. “is it too much for you? you want me to stop baby?” he whispered, you instinctively shook your head, grabbing on to his arm to keep him there.

his fingers move down, sliding a digit inside your sobbing cunt. you moaned at the feeling, his finger knuckles deep into you. then another one — making you twitch and buck forward. his other arm pulling you back and keeping you still. “i know baby, i know” he coo’d. his fingers sliding in and out of you at a slow pace, slowly speeding up as your legs shook from the stimulation.

“they say,” caleb huffs out, his arm now loosening its grip on your, his free hand sliding down back to your swollen tits. “that if a guy rubs at a sliiight angle,” his fingers now rubbing against an area, a one which you didn’t even know of, but that made you feel so fucking good. your moan, shuddering beneath him. “he can find his ladies sweet spot.” he pulled out his fingers, then thrusted them right back inside, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “guess i found it.” he hummed.

he finger-fucked you. his hands making you feel like you were seeing stars while his other groped and touched your sensitive tits. how he praised you on how good you were taking his fingers, “wow baby,” he smiled “you sure you’re a virgin?” he teased, making you babble in response.

“i’m gonna, gonna come out — caleb caleb please help me i need — fuckfuck,” you whined, this was better than when you touched yourself. not fully being able to finish; to reach a destination of relief. yet here caleb was, doing it for you. “you ‘gonna cum? come on, all over my fingers baby.” he kissed your cheek, his fingers abusing your poor little cunt in so many ways.

you grinded against his fingers, your walls clenching against him as he pumped in and out of you. your hips spasmed, and you cried out, holding on to him. “there ‘ya go. that’s my girl, look at you. so pretty, you ready for the next part?” you didn’t even register what he was saying until you heard the shuffling of his pants being pulled down after he had gotten up.

he got on the bed, now holding your legs over his shoulders while they instinctively held on. “you sounded so good, just the tip okay baby?” he coo’d. your whines turning into moans while his cock slid against your folds, he moaned now holding on to your hips as he thrusted against your cunt. “fuck, you’re so wet for me ‘doll.” his breath shook as he muttered out.

after he coated his pretty cock, he aligned himself up right with your already swollen cunt. he slid in, but not all the way, feeling how you clamped onto him; fuck he needed to restrain himself. “it doesn’t count baby, you’re still a virgin okay? ‘m not gonna take it, that’d be selfish of me yeah?” he groans, his hips slightly moving in and out of you trying not to dig his cock balls deep into you.

oh but how you moved your hands to his, how you intertwined your fingers and moaned his name. how everytime he pushed in just enough, you were practically sucking him in. he couldn’t take it. so what if he was just being selfish? you weren’t going to see any other guy anyways. caleb was all you needed.

“m sorry baby i can’t help it, oh fuck, you just feel—” his hips slammed into you, the sudden fullness making you groan. tears forming in your eyes as you call out for him. “so good,” his hips rutting against you. you felt amazing, the way you clamped down onto his cock, how when he pulls out you beg for him to fill you up. “you feel good, so fucking good i don’t know why i haven’t — done this with you before.” he panted out.

“you’re making me feel so good baby,” you moaned out, “so good for me.” caleb didn’t how, but it was like a switch flipped inside his head. his groans becoming whines and sobs. his hips frantically pressing against you to get any sort of sensation. “i’m your good boy, please, tell me i’m your boy.” he sobbed out, he leaned down placing kisses around you, lifting your shirt up and off your sweaty body.

his lips placed gentle kisses on you, just for them to turn into marks and bruises. he picked you up, pushing you against your wall, thrusting into you. “that’s it, sweet boy. you like making me feel good? yeah?” you don’t know where this was coming from, it’s just came it so naturally for you. maybe it was the desperation on his face, the way he grinded against you to get everything inside. how he nodded his head pussydrunk off you.

“yeah, yeah you’re so pretty, ‘all i think about. i can’t cum without thinking about you, i can’t — ‘wanna make you feel good.” he whined out, flipping you around so your back touched his chest. his cock stuffing into you while one of his hands moved down to rub your clit.

“i need more, i need you, i need to cum; can i cum baby? please let me? let your nasty dog make you feel good,” he buried his face in your neck, biting your shoulder and licking it. you nodded in approval with a small “mhm, good puppy.”

caleb rutted against you with everything, you shivered, twitching as you started to sob. you were close. he brought you both back to the bed, pushing your face down in the mattress before slamming into your ass. his shirt lifted to his mouth, biting down on it while he hit all your good spots.

“cumming — cumming, fuck ‘m gonna give us a litter of pups, yeah? not gonna need anyone else after this, just me, you and our, ohh, sweet little babies,” you couldn’t say anything, your head turned as your eyes rolled back, his seed spilling inside and out of you. caleb gave you a last couple of thrusts before moving away and lying down next to you, pulling you into his arms before placing kisses over you. “so pretty baby, really.” he said softly. “you were so good, i’m happy to be your first.” he hummed.

good thing you were on the pill. you nuzzled up against him, yawning. “mhm, can we take a nap now caleb,” you said weakly making caleb chuckle and pull a cover over you both. “alright then,”

wait. how did caleb know to do all those things to you? that little !! —

[zhelin-thames]

The Joker was ranting again, his shrill laughter echoing off the walls of the Justice League’s holding cells. Danny Fenton—or as they knew him, the Ghost King—leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, a scowl etched on his face. The tension in the room was palpable, the League standing by in case the infamous clown decided to get creative. But Danny wasn’t worried. He’d dealt with worse.

“You think you’re so scary, huh?” Danny muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear. The Joker’s grin faltered for a split second before he burst into laughter again, clearly unfazed—or pretending to be. Danny rolled his eyes. “Pathetic. You’re just loud and messy. Real fear doesn’t need a laugh track.”

The room went silent. Superman shifted uncomfortably, glancing between Danny and the Joker. Batman’s eyes narrowed, taking in the Ghost King’s uncharacteristic venom.

It wasn’t that Danny was usually chatty during these encounters, but his utter disdain for the Joker—his unwillingness to engage in anything more than curt dismissal—was becoming a pattern. Everyone noticed it, and no one dared ask. The Joker, for his part, didn’t push further. Something in Danny’s glowing green eyes made even him hesitate.

But when Jonathan Crane—the Scarecrow—was brought in a few weeks later, the mood shifted entirely.

Crane was quiet as he was escorted into a separate cell, his lanky frame hunched but his eyes sharp, calculating. The League had just wrapped up an exhausting mission to stop one of his fear toxin rampages, and they were still on edge. Crane didn’t bother with his usual monologues, which was unusual enough to make everyone uneasy.

Except Danny.

As soon as Danny saw Crane, he snorted. Loudly. The kind of derisive snort that made Wonder Woman glance his way in confusion. “This guy?” Danny said, pointing at Crane with his thumb. “Seriously?”

Crane’s head tilted ever so slightly, his curiosity piqued. “The Ghost King,” he said, his voice low and rasping. “A being of great power and…fear. How delightful.”

“Don’t,” Danny interrupted, holding up a hand. “Just don’t. Whatever you’re about to say, I’ve heard it before. And honestly? You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Crane blinked, caught off guard. “Embarrassing myself?”

Danny sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, I get it. You’re all about fear. Big bad Scarecrow, master of terror, blah blah blah. But do you even know what fear is? Real fear? Because from where I’m standing, you’re just a guy with some glorified bug spray.”

The room went dead silent. Flash stifled a laugh. Batman’s jaw tightened, his gaze flickering between Danny and Crane. The Scarecrow, however, didn’t seem angry. If anything, he looked…intrigued.

“And what,” Crane asked slowly, “would you consider real fear, Your Highness?”

Danny’s eyes glowed brighter, his voice dropping an octave. “Real fear is the kind that makes your soul ache. It’s the kind of fear that lingers in the dark corners of your mind, whispering that you’re not enough, that you’ll never be enough. It’s watching everything you love slip away and knowing you can’t stop it. It’s the void staring back at you and realizing it doesn’t care.”

He leaned forward, his face inches from the glass separating them. “Your little toxins? They’re cheap tricks. Flashy illusions. A waste of potential. You could actually do something with all your knowledge, but instead, you play Halloween in Gotham like some knockoff horror movie villain.”

Crane didn’t reply immediately. For once, he seemed at a loss for words. The others stared at Danny, half-impressed, half-confused. Even Batman’s ever-stoic expression had a flicker of something resembling surprise.

Finally, Crane chuckled, a dry, humorless sound. “Perhaps you’re right,” he admitted. “But fear, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps one day, you’ll see the artistry in my work.”

Danny scoffed again, turning to leave. “Don’t hold your breath, Doc. You’d pass out before you made anything actually scary.”

As Danny walked away, Superman stepped up beside him, lowering his voice. “You’ve faced worse, haven’t you?”

Danny shrugged. “I’ve been worse. That guy? He’s just a waste of scary.”

Superman frowned. “What does that even mean?”

Danny smirked, his eyes gleaming. “Stick around, Big Blue. Maybe one day I’ll show you.”

[dokyumms]

eyes on you

pairing: ot13 x fem!14thmember!reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 1.4k

cw: brief violence (album is thrown at reader), carats are mean to reader 😔, cursing, nightmares, protective svt ?, carat calls svt “oppa” and it’s the cringiest line i’ve ever written.

a/n: been getting some requests for 14th member reader so here yall go! couldn't find a good pic for this theme so just enjoy the winter photo lolol, have no idea if relationship between svt and reader is platonic or not so it's up to interpretation... i don't know if i like this or not....

fan signs were usually fun.

key word: usually. you really did enjoy interacting with fans, playing with toy guns and whatever props you were given, but there was just one thing that would always happen.

it was normally something small, just a weird look or an obvious difference in the mood of a fan when they'd get to you, but no matter what it was, it was always noticeable.

you were used to it by now, the hate that came with being the only female member of the group. thankfully, it'd died down since debut, and over time, you learned how to ignore the comments. the members were your family, and you were theirs, why should people online dictate how you live your life?

however, there was always something different about when it happened in person. maybe it was the way you could see the joy in their face drain at the sight of you or how someone would look at you as if you had hurt them. you didn't know, but just that coming from one person would keep you awake for nights, no matter how many fans you met after.

but maybe today would be different, or at least that's what you told yourself as you sat down between vernon and minghao earlier that morning. these two were some of the calmest members of the group, so surely someone wouldn't dare to piss them off by insulting you, right?

well, just about half an hour in, a girl shoved an album before you. you had your hands out in front of you, just fidgeting around while you waited for minghao to finish up with her before she nearly knocked out your fingers.

you were taken aback a little, but you gave her the benefit of the doubt and didn't react to it, just greeting her as usual. looking down at the album, you read the name written on a sticky note. "your name is gaeun? how pretty," you commented, uncapping your marker to sign the album when she stopped you.

"don't." she warned sternly, grabbing ahold of your wrist. you tried to retract it, looking around for help, but to your dismay, the venue seemed to be understaffed. there were only two managers to help out, and they both happened to be at the very ends of the table, slowly making their way down the row as if they have all the time in the world.

you looked back at her. “i’m sorry?” you said, trying to figure out what was going on, but she didn’t budge. “okay, okay, i’m not going to sign it.” you backed off, holding your other hand up in surrender.

“good. i don’t need your nasty hands on it either. give it back!” she snapped, snatching back the album as if she hadn’t been the one to place it in front of you. the noise garnered the attention of minghao, who looked at her before turning his head toward you.

he raised an eyebrow, confused, but you shook your head. nothing was wrong, just some weirdly aggressive hater. what was new?

then the girl, or gaeun now that you knew her name, all of the sudden lit up at the sudden glance from minghao. “ohh oppa~ there’s nothing to worry about! you look so handsome today~” she cooed.

you could see him try to keep a neutral facial expression as you held back laughter yourself. he nodded awkwardly before turning his attention back to the person in front of him. honestly, you were unsure of what to do now. the other fans you had come across before may not have liked you, but they at least let you sign their albums.

thankfully, there shouldn't be much time before the fans have to switch members, so you just kept yourself occupied by eavesdropping on the conversation vernon and the girl in front of him were having. clearly, yours didn't want anything to do with you.

"come on, entertain me, bitch."

your head snapped back at her, noticing the two members beside you do the same as you gave her a puzzled look. she didn't seem to notice them, though, fully focused on you.

"what are you just staring at me for? you can't do your one job? no wonder so many people hate-"

"don't. don't you dare say another word to her."

you turned toward the voice, quite shocked to find the owner of it to be vernon out of all people. he and minghao both glared at the girl, filling the room with silent tension.

by now, the timer had went off, meaning it was time to switch members, but the girl wouldn't move, causing a line of people to form to the side of her. the managers made their way toward her to stop the delay, and now most of the members' attention was on you and her.

"god, you're pathetic," she scoffed, ignoring vernon's warning and the amount of stares directed at her. she made a quick glance at the managers, and as some sort of 'last laugh' before she got kicked out of the venue, she chucked the album- straight at your face.

by some miracle, yet slow reflexes, you managed to avoid getting poked in the eye, taking a hit to the temple instead. it's quiet for a couple of seconds, then all chaos commences. fans were yelling, probably at the girl as the managers practically dragged her away, and the members started to stand up and crowd around you.

before she was fully dragged out, the girl mouthed something at you, but you really couldn’t make sense of it right now.

this hadn't happened recently, the last incident being when someone shoved an album at joshua a couple years ago. and since then, pledis had put out strict warning about it, so it was even more shocking that someone had done it again.

you turned away from the audience, attempting to conceal yourself as you shut your eyes at the pain that began to spread from your head. voices overlapped over one another until you felt someone pull you into a warm embrace, hands falling onto your ears.

finally, all the noise seemed to die down. you opened your eyes, curious as to who was holding you.

joshua smiled as you met his eyes; his hands fell to your shoulders.

“hey, it’s okay, they’re moving everyone out of the venue. we’re not going to finish the fan sign.” he explained assuringly, but the comment sort of made you embarrassed. maybe if you took care of the situation better, everyone wouldn’t have had to leave.

you were frustrated, upset, scared, all of the above. you hated that someone disliked you so much to the point that this would even happen. why did so many people have a problem with you, and only you?

but there was one thing bothering you the most, something that kept your heart racing. deciding that you didn't need everyone worrying about you again, you kept your mouth shut as the managers came back and announced that you all were done for the day.

but that night, you dreamt of it.

you were at the fan sign, living through all the moments again. the girl is dragged away as she mouths to you,

"next time, i won't miss."

you couldn't move, frozen in fear as she began to laugh hysterically.

"y/n? y/n, wake up."

seungcheol shook you awake, stepping back when you yelped. "it's okay, you were having a nightmare." he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking your hair. "what was it about?"

trying to move on from the conversation, you said that it was just about what had happened earlier, but he stopped you.

"you were saying something, though. you kept repeating 'no', y/n, did something else happen?"

oh, you had no idea that happened, and now you were stuck. taking your hesitance as an answer, he took your hand into his.

"y/n, you can tell me. i don't want you to be scared anymore, okay?"

you sighed, giving in and telling him about the threat the girl made. his eyebrows furrowed as you explained it. truly, there was nothing the two of you could do about it, and it made him frustrated.

"it's fine, though. it was a shallow threat anyway, i don't know why i was so scared."

"no, it's not fine," seungcheol argued, pulling you into a tight hug.

"i promise you, i won't let anything happen to you. never again."

[krosiefics]

send nudes • bang chan

M D N I 18+

Summary: You accidentally send a nude to Chan and well…he takes it as a chance to act on his hidden feelings

WC: 2.4k

Tags: smut, afab!reader, dom/tease!chan, porn with little plot, piv, unprotected sex (just don't), fingering, oral (f & m receiving), creampie, mutual pinning(?), handjob, chan is a tease, reader calls chan; chris, chan, christopher, channie), use of pet names (baby, sweetheart, good girl, etc), not proofread, im prob forgetting some- sorry (brb gonna touch some grass)

“Shit shit shit!” You quickly pulled your shorts back up as panic spread throughout your body. You quickly look at the open messages to see if the picture has been seen yet. Ugh this is why you don’t send nudes! You screamed at yourself. About twenty minutes ago you were flirting over text with this random guy from tinder when it started escalating into pictures being sent, you took a picture and was going to send it to him but you unknowingly sent it to your best friend.

You hadn’t noticed until about five minutes ago when the tinder guy hadn’t replied yet, you noticed the notification of the image sent was under Chan’s contact and well now you’re trying to figure out how to delete the picture.

You already tried deleting it from your messages but that only deletes it on one end not both.

Suddenly the ringing of your phone fuels the flames of your anxiousness. You dwell on whether you should check the caller ID, peeking at the screen your heart drops, it’s Chan. “Oh fuck.” You snatch your phone, not answering it, before running out of your dorm, down the hall towards Chan’s dorm. His dorm isn’t far from yours so by the time you get there your phone is still ringing. As it’s about to hang up you finally answer it, banging on the front door.

The wood door swings open revealing a confused Chan. God you couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“Hi,” Chan chuckles, not acting like he’s seen something that he wasn’t supposed to, you sigh in relief, “I was about to text you-”

“Don’t do that!” You cut him off, pushing past him to grab his phone. “Hey?!” He exclaims after you snatch his phone, Chan makes a move to grab but you quickly dodge him, opening his messages app.

“Don’t delete it!” Chan huffs out annoyed. You stop, dead in your tracks, Chan takes the chance to take his phone back, shoving it into his pocket. “What do you mean don’t delete it.” You burst, heat spreading throughout your face like a wildfire. When did he see it?! You thought to yourself as you took out your phone and looked back on your messages, it displayed ‘read 1 minute ago’.

“Chan…” You push, when he doesn’t reply simply wearing a smirk on his face you start getting even more flustered, “Christopher! What do you mean don’t delete it?!” Your face is as red as a tomato at this point, your heart pounding so fast you can feel it in your ear.

Chan lets out a bubbly chuckle, you only ever use his real name when you’re either pissed or are in a teasing mood- you are not in a teasing mood, “I’ve got blackmail. And besides, it's fun seeing you flustered.” The smirk he wore was just straight up menacing. “This kind of situation is weird and makes me flustered- Did you just save it?!” You shriek as you watch him take out his phone and scroll through your texts. Chan smirks at you as he shows his phone’s screen, the save button clearly pressed. “Why would even- Chris!” You cry out his name, he finally puts his phone down on the desk by his bed with a shrug.

“You forget I’m a man.” You stand crossed armed as you stare at your best friend, “Yeah okay, but keeping a nude of your best friend is kinda weird.”

“Would you rather me send you one too?” Chan asks calmly as if it weren’t the most absurd thing he’s ever said. You scoff, eyes blown out by his question, sure Chan’s a flirt and likes teasing you, but it's never actually gone this far between the two of you. Just a simple mistake opened this pandora box.

“Who was that meant for anyways?” The Australian asks, sudden curiosity leading him on. “That’s none of your business-“

“Well you sent me the photo, I should at least get an explanation, no?” Chan raises his brows. “The guy from my date the other day.” You admit embarrassingly, Chan lets out a laugh while shaking his head, “The one that you complained about for the next three hours after your date.”

“I was bored okay!” You throw your arms up in defeat, plopping down on his bed.

A few moments of awkward silence washed over the two of you- well more awkward for you- before your phone interrupted the silence. You checked the notification, rolling your eyes as you opened the message from Chan. Holy shit. The grasp you had on your phone loosened as the electronic tumbles onto your face, smacking you right on the forehead. “You that shocked by the picture?” Chan hums in amusement. You gape at him after massaging your sore forehead, “Well no shit, you just sent me a dick pic!” You shove your phone in his face.

On the screen was a picture of Chan’s crotch area. His gray sweats not hiding the boner he obviously sports, his veiny hands holding onto his intimate area. A sudden realization dawned on you, “Did you just take that?” You stared between him and the same colored sweatpants that he wore. Now it’s his turn to be flustered, sure he had fun teasing you but now thinking about it, it wasn’t exactly appropriate to take a dick pic in front of his best friend even if she wasn’t aware of his actions. Brushing it off, Chan shrugged with a smug face.

“God you’re infuriating sometimes.” You shake your head. “Oh c’mon, you can say it’s hot, your’s was. It’s the reason I’ve got a bone-“

“Chan!” You squeak, your hands covering your face. Chan was too blunt for you sometimes. “You still need help with this?” Chan says, gently guiding your hands down from your face to show you the picture that you had sent him earlier. You pout, thoughts in your head weren’t lining up to how your body was reacting, “Help?” You shake your head in confusion trying to understand what his words meant. Chan hesitantly trailed his hands to your inner thighs, instinctively you spread them apart which he takes as a go-ahead.

“Wait, wait, wait!” You stutter, realizing where this could be going, “We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t wanna.” Chan said, retrieving his hands from your legs. The warmth of his hands still burning your skin despite them not being there anymore. “No, I wanna-” Your mouth moved quicker than you could process, you slapped a hand over it. Chan raised a brow at you in his regular teasing manner, you simply shook your head at him, “Chan…you’re my best friend, I don’t wanna change that.” That was a lie, you did want to change that, you really want to change that, but losing Chan was something that always prevented you from ever telling him how you felt.

“Who says it has to change?” The curly haired boy leans over your body, dipping his bed at the weight. Your hands come up to his shoulders, not knowing whether to push him away or bring him closer. “Chris.” You sigh, eyes closing in thought. “Keep your eyes close, if you want me to stop just tell me…okay?” His words fanned across your cheeks as he spoke softly into your ear. You squirmed at his words but nonetheless kept your eyes shut.

A sudden touch to your thighs made you flinch, the hand hesitantly tapped your knee for your consent, nodding in response. Chan let out a shaky breath as his hands nudged your thighs apart, revealing the wet patch that stained the lining of your shorts. Did you get turned on by the tinder guy? No, it was by Chan and his insufferable teasing, he’s what got your arousal pooling. Chan hums, his breath breezing over your hot skin, sending shivers down your spine. “This okay? D’you trust me?” He asked as his fingered trailed along your throbbing cunt, you bit your lip in pleasure, nodding frantically, yearning for more friction.

Chan begins rubbing his thumb in circles on your clothed clit while his other fingers slip between your slick folds that stick to your panty. Moving your loose shorts to the side, you feel him dip his head down, licking a stripe up your cunt. “Channie.” You whine, hands flying to his curls, entangling them with your fingers. The sudden rush of pleasure has you opening your eyes, the sight of your best friend’s face between your legs, lickking at your most intimate area sends another wave of arousal straight to your core. Your thighs instinctively tense around his face, Chan gaze lifts to you at the action, locking your eyes and you're done. Chan’s eyes stared into you longingly, the smirk that made his way to his face when he sneakily maneuvered your underwear to the side had you writhing under his hold.

Chan continued his assault on your cunt with his mouth, sucking at your clit, swirling iit around your fold. His fingers brought you even closer to the edge as they ever-so-often sunk inside, never past his fingertips as if he was teasing you. That familiar knot formed in your stomach as your thighs began to shake, the movement not going unnoticed by Chan. “S-Stop!” You say closing your legs in an attempt to get him off, he sticks to his previous words and obliges to your command. “You okay?” Chan looks at you, a pang of worry flashing in his eyes, his mouth and chin was wet with what you’d assume is your arousal and his saliva mixed, he subconsciously licks his lips as you stare at them.

You nod in response before climbing onto your knees pushing him back onto the bed, “What are you- Y/N?!” Now it was Chan’s turn to turn pink, his heart pounded in his chest as he watched you pull the waistband of his sweatpants down revealing his hardened cock. “This okay?” You ask innocently, contradicting your actions. “Fuck yeah, this’s okay.” He sighed.

You stared at his dick, the very same one he had sent a few minutes ago, you never thought you’d ever be in this position with Chan. The tip was leaking with precum and the veins on the side evident from the lack of friction, he wasn't too big like the ones you’ve seen in those exaggerated pornos but he’s definitely above average. Your hand wraps around the base of his cock, pumping it a few times, precum coating it making it easier to slide up and down. “Jesus, fuck, you’re so pretty, such a good girl, baby.” Chan rambles as you lean down, placing a small kiss on the tip. Tongue trailing down along the veins before coming back to the tip and taking it into your mouth.

Rolling his head back in pleasure, Chan gently takes a fistful of your hair so that it doesn't get in your way. You hum in appreciation. Chan almost cums, the vibration of your hum going through his shaft towards that knot forming in his abdomen. Hollowing your cheeks, you attempt to take more of him but Chan stops you, pulling you off of him with a pop. “Why’d you- mmph.” The feeling of his soft, plump lips cuts you off. His lips were gentle yet rough against yours, lust and desire making the kiss messier. Without your lips coming apart, Chan guides you to the bed again, laying you down under him. Lips dancing with one another, he adjusts your shorts and underwear to the side again, prompting a gasp from you, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue alongside yours.

You moan into the kiss as he presses the tip of his cock to your entrance. Your eyes meet once more, he has that same worry in his eyes, asking if he can continue. “Fuck me Channie…please.” Before your words could fully come out he’s already snapped his hips into you, bottoming out and letting you adjust to his size. “You okay, sweetheart?” The pet name draws out an erotic moan from your lips, you nod frantically as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. Chan places your knees atop his shoulders, leaning into you as his hips smack against the back of your thighs. The echo of wet noises bouncing off the dorm room’s wall, Chan has never been more grateful that his roommate, Minho, wasn't in town. “S’close, Channie.” You moan into his neck, your nails clawing at his clothed back. It barely occurred to you that you were both technically fully clothed. “God I like you so much, you know that baby?” Chan mumbled as he drilled into your cunt. “Channie, I like you too- oh my fucking God.” You curse as he reaches your g-spot, hitting it dead on. “Actually?”

“Mhm, shit, liked you for a long time.” You say between moans and whimpers, your climax nearing as your legs begin to shake. “Fuck, gonna make you cum. S’fucking pretty.” Chan slurred as his hand made his way to your clit, rubbing circles onto it. Your orgasm hit you like a truck, you don’t think you’ve ever orgasmed like that before.

“Almost there, where d’you want it?” Chan pants over your whines of overstimulation, “Inside, I’m on the- holy fuck- on the pill!” The sensitivity of your cunt begins to be uncomfortable. Your words send Chan over the edge, spilling his hot cum inside of you.

Chan slowly pulls out before plopping onto the mattress next to you. “You really mean it?” He pants, chest heaving. You look at him confused, your mind too hazy for anything at this point. “You like me?”

“Heh, yeah…I do.” Chan leans over and gives you a sweet kiss on the lips. Rolling out of the bed, Chan comes back to you with a towel and some water. “Thanks.” You smile, taking the bottle of water. “Lemme get you some clothes from the closet.” As he makes his way to the closet an idea pops into his head. Chan snatches his phone before walking into his shared walk-in closet.

The ding of your phone grasps your attention, you reach for it and read the most recent message. It’s from Chan.

Send nudes ;)

[daechwitatamic]

Not So Loud || LC

banner by @itaeewon <3

Not So Loud lee chan x afab reader || fluff smut baby angst || f2l, only one bed trope NSFW - minors DNI

Summary: You've been in love with Lee Chan for almost two years, despite his rejection seven months ago. When you're impossibly coupled up on a friendcation, you're determined not to make it everyone else's problem. Of course, you weren't expecting to have to room with him, and you certainly weren't expecting only one bed...

wc: 16.6k

warnings: language, recreational drinking, sooo much pining, baby misunderstandings, kissing, breast play, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), piv sex (no protection mentioned either way), reader on top, mentions of shower sex

request by @eoieopda:

yes my fearless leader you may have even two crumbs of lee dino getting laid at the beach, i hope you enjoy every single second of it <3

“This,” you sigh blissfully, “is the happiest I may ever be.”

The sun is shining. Upbeat pop music runs like an undercurrent below the sound of the highway from the stereo of your best friend’s junky, decade-old sedan. Your iced coffee - light and sweet, but not too much of either - tastes like heaven. And the best part, the part that makes this day the best even if you didn’t have iced coffee or sunshine or Ruby or happy music, is that you’re less than an hour away from the beachfront house you and your friends have rented for the next five days.

All six of you had collectively been saving up for a full year and a half to make this happen, and there were times during the wait when it seemed like it would never come together between scheduling and money and rental availability. But now you’re here, racing down the highway to keep up with the flow of traffic, the ocean beckoning you closer.

“Now, now,” Ruby, the aforementioned best friend, scolds lightly. “What about your wedding day?”

You blow a raspberry. “What wedding day?” you shoot back sourly, but then you take another sip of caffeinated, iced perfection and your mood buoys immediately. It’s gonna take a lot to keep you down, today. Still, you rationalize, “I can’t even get to a third date.”

It was true. Your last third date had been almost two years ago. Since then, everything fizzled after one or two. Embarrassing. Something only Ruby - and, by proxy, her boyfriend Mingyu - would know about you.

“Because you compare them all to Chan,” Ruby says sagely.

The beams of sunlight are glaring. The pop music grates on your nerves, too boppy and much too happy. You set your coffee in the cup holder, your hand suddenly smarting from the bite of cold.

Coincidental to the third date thing, you’ve been in love with Lee Chan for almost two years. Another embarrassing Ruby-and-thus-Mingyu-only tidbit.

“Stooo-ooppp,” you whine. “If you’re going to spend the whole time making it weird about him, I’m going to find a way back home! I will walk there, just try me!”

“Now, now,” she says again, mildly. Your dramatics are nothing new to her. “I’ll behave. But I keep telling you - it would be significantly less weird if you’d just tell him you have a thing for him.”

You narrow your eyes at her. A thing.

An every problem I’ve ever had melts away and my soul floats three feet above my body every time your smile crosses your face kind of thing. A hearing your laugh makes me laugh even if I didn’t hear the joke kind of thing. A finding your gaze across a loud room makes me feel like no one else is there but us kind of thing.

A he doesn’t feel the same way, and he never will kind of thing. He made that super clear, about seven months ago.

And it gets worse.

You’ve had a week to accept your fate on this trip - a week since she’d called to tell you that the original rental had fallen through. To tell you that the replacement place is almost better (closer to the beach! a huge deck! a private pool!) except for the number of rooms. That since the other four people attending are made up of two couples, you and Chan would have to share a room.

(“The rooms are huge,” she’d assured you. “And the third room’s got bunk-beds! I bet will Chan will let you have top bunk if you want it - he’s a nice guy.”

You didn’t say, even though it is very true, that bunk-beds are really only a selling point if you are ten years old. But there were more important arguments to make. “I know he’s a nice guy,” you’d bit out. “He’s the nicest fucking guy I’ve ever met in my life, actually!” Hence the thing.

She’d paused and then pointed out, “You’ve met Seokmin, though.”

And, yeah, maybe on paper Seokmin is nicer but looking at his smile doesn’t feel like being filled with sunshine, so the point is moot.)

Anyway. You’ve had time to accept the fact that you have to share a room with the guy you’ve been in love with for over a year and a half. You’ve had time to accept that he might hear you snore, will see that you’re messy, that you’ll have to get changed in the bathroom for the whole trip, that you’ll have to get really good at pretending not to moon over him every time he speaks.

“I think,” you tell Ruby mildly, “that telling him that I want to lick his body from top to bottom and then get married might actually make things more weird.”

“I would just like to say,” Ruby’s boyfriend Mingyu pipes up from the backseat, his voice weary and long-suffering, “that this is an incredibly uncomfortable conversation for me.”

In your defense, you’d thought he was asleep.

Ruby descends on him like a swarm of locusts. “Don’t you think she should tell him she’s in love with him?”

“I actually do,” Mingyu says, covering his eyes with his hands as if he can’t bear to see what a disaster you are. “But I would heavily advise against mentioning the licking. Or the marriage.”

“It’s hyperbole,” you defend, flapping a hand in his direction. But, yeah, noted.

Excitement bubbles in your stomach, despite the rooming situation, when Ruby flicks on her turn signal and moves to exit the highway. Already, the smell of the air through the open windows has turned salty, and the thick tree-line along the highway has given way to cloudless blue sky and the occasional palm tree. It had been almost hazy when you’d set off at the crack of dawn (Mingyu had taken the back seat so he could stretch out and sleep a little longer) but now the sunrise has burned away all of that haze and given way to a perfect morning.

It takes only minutes for Ruby to navigate through the small, coastal town and to a row of vacation homes. You lose yourself in a daydream of waking up to take coffee on a sunlit balcony, listening to waves crash in time below you. In your daydream, across the balcony someone stretches their arms above their head, a sliver of belly peeking out for only a second, then turns to give you a sleepy smile, thinly-wired glasses perched on his nose.

Someone.

You shake yourself free of the fantasy; part of you feels like Ruby can read your mind, like she’s seconds away from calling you out for placing Chan in your seaside fantasy life.

Ruby, however, is too focused on finding the house to read your mind, and she slows the car and turns into a driveway, chirping, “We’re here!”

You all start grabbing luggage to carry in; the sun feels amazing on your skin, the sea breeze cool almost to the point of chilly and so salty it makes your nose twitch. You three aren’t even done emptying your car when you’re startled by a beep-beep-beepbeep-beep from the road behind you.

“That’s Soonyoung,” Mingyu says without even turning to look.

He’s right - it is. The second car, which carries Soonyoung, his girlfriend Lara, and Chan, pulls into the driveway next to you.

Chan greets you with a wide, happy grin (that, yes, makes you feel full of sunshine, whatever) and a quick, one-armed hug as he comes around the front of the parked car. Your moronic heart lifts, stupidly hopeful - until Soonyoung does the same thing. Your heart deflates again with the reminder that they’re just like this - nice, affectionate with their friends. It doesn’t mean anything. Chan’s attention to you is just as platonic as Soonyoung’s - which is to say, entirely.

You all manage to gather the luggage from both cars, and Mingyu follows the rental app’s directions to work the keypad at the front door. You all ooh and ahh as you step inside - the place is roomy, well-lit from sliding glass doors and windows that face the ocean, and decorated with (what else?) a kitschy, nautical theme.

You kick off your flip-flops onto a mat with an anchor on it (per the theme), and follow the others further into the house.

You head straight back through the house - the living room gives way into a dining room that ends with the sliding-glass doors. In tandem with Ruby, you press your face to the glass of the door and peer outside. You’re delighted to see that the ocean is right there, beckoning you to come play. Gulls swoop and call, loud enough that you can hear their cries from inside. Further down the beach you can see colorful umbrellas and tents that other beachgoers have set up. Below the deck, you can see just a strip of the private pool.

You pull yourself away from the back door and head into the adjoining kitchen, where Lara is standing at an open cupboard, examining its contents.

“We’re going to need to do a grocery run,” she muses, looking over at you. “I think all Soonyoung packed was ramen and soju.”

“What else could we possibly need?” he jokes from down the hall, his voice echoing.

“Coffee,” you say immediately.

“Beer,” Mingyu says seriously.

“Meat? Vegetables? Stuff for breakfast? Something to drink that isn’t alcohol?” Lara suggests.

“Who invited the Capricorn?” Soonyoung (the person who invited the Capricorn) grouses.

“Without me,” she tells him seriously, though the corner of her mouth twitches, “you’d be malnourished at best, and at worst? Dead.”

“Probably true,” you say, giving her a conspiratorial nod, and then you hear Ruby call your name from upstairs. Her voice sounds strained, and a little alarm bell goes off inside your head.

“Yes?” you answer loudly, hoping your voice will carry up to her.

“Can you come up here for a minute?” she calls down to you. Yes, there is definitely an edge to her voice that you don’t like. “Now?”

“Oh jeez,” you mutter, starting to make your way towards the stairs at the front of the house. You take the stairs quickly, calling Ruby’s name as you navigate the unfamiliar house.

She and Chan are both standing in the hallway, open doors all around them. Their faces mirror each other - disbelief, anxiety.

“What?” you ask, a little breathless both from the stairs and from anticipation. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s, uh,” Ruby stammers. It’s very unlike her to lose her confidence, and the unease in your gut churns again.

“What?” you say again, and when she doesn’t answer, you turn to Chan, who looks stricken. “What is it?”

“No bunk beds,” he manages, finishing Ruby’s sentence and gesturing to the room behind him.

You’re pressing forward without making the decision to move, without answering either of them, crowding Chan’s space so you’re chest to chest, peering over his shoulder. His hands hover near your elbows, like you might overbalance and he’s ready to steady you.

The room behind him is huge - as Ruby promised - complete with an ensuite bathroom and the balcony straight out of your daydream in the car. It also, as Chan pointed out, does not have bunk-beds. Instead, one king-sized bed is centered against the far wall, flanked by wicker nightstands with lamps on each and an old-school radio alarm clock on one.

You say nothing - you just back out of Chan’s personal space and swivel, heading for the other doors. Surely that was just the wrong room - one meant for one of the couples. Surely they just didn’t look hard enough, didn’t check the other doors, didn’t find the room with two beds that you’d been promised.

You find a full bathroom, a linen closet, one door that remains locked, and - to your dismay - two identical bedrooms, neither of which hosts more than one single bed.

Realization trickles through you slowly, building up higher and higher as you check the doors a second, and then a third, time. Ruby and Chan stay frozen in place in the dimly lit hallway, watching your frantic, pointless searching.

“Oh, my God,” you say hollowly. Then, turning, you narrow your eyes. “Ruby,” you growl. “You promised. Where is my top bunk?!”

“I don’t know!” she squeaks. “The listing said four beds!”

“Call them,” you demand flatly.

Beside Ruby, Chan’s eyebrows scrunch as he frowns. He says your name quietly, holding up a hand as if to calm you. “We don’t need to move houses,” he says gently. “I’ll take a couch. It’s not a big deal.”

You feel yourself shaking your head immediately. “I will feel like shit if you spend your vacation sleeping on the couch because of me,” you tell him.

He and Ruby exchange a long look (something that you don’t like very much, but no one is asking you) and then she tentatively says, “Could we work it out later? Maybe one of the couches pulls out into a bed or something? Or do you really want me to try and get us a different rental? This is already our second one, I’m not sure there are even other options still available…” She trails off, eyes wide.

You sigh, eyeing the ceiling above you as if it has answers. “Fine,” you say, because you can’t stand the thought of being the one who’s causing problems, ever the people-pleaser. “We’ll figure it out later.”

You head back down the hall, tromping down the stairs in silence to get your luggage.

Chan tries to take one of your bags for you, but you shrug him off and he lets you. You follow him back up the stairs, to the large room you’d looked at a few minutes ago. You both stand in the middle of it, looking around. You’re unsure if you should even unpack in here if there’s a chance you’ll end up moving to the couches.

“It’ll be okay,” Chan says, and it startles you out of your thoughts so badly that you flinch.

“Mhm,” you manage, because you don’t want to lie to him by agreeing.

“Hey,” he says, a little insistently, and you look up at him. He’s looking at you openly, his expression an impossible mix of concern and optimism. It disarms you immediately, in a way nothing else ever has.

There’s something always so earnest about Chan, one of your favorite things about him, and you can’t help but believe him when he continues to speak. “It will. We can, like, take turns with the bed or something. It’s not that big of a deal. Don’t let this ruin your trip. Okay?”

You nod silently, thinking about this. He’s right - there’ll be a solution. “Okay,” you say, managing to give him a little smile. “You’re right.”

The grin he gives you is mischievous. “I usually am,” he quips - and you love that about him, too: the way he’s playfully cocky, something ironic in the way he displays it, like you’re all in on the joke and he’s happily his own punchline. He disappears into the hallway, where you hear him heading down the stairs.

You wait for the tornado of butterflies in your belly to calm back down and then you look around the room. You finally decide to just leave your bags in a pile near the dresser, and head back down to find the others.

Everyone is standing around the kitchen table, where it seems like a grocery list is being split into Things That Can versus Things That Cannot be bought at the local liquor store.

“We can take one car and handle the drinks,” Mingyu is saying as you walk up and lean your chin on Ruby’s shoulder from behind. She absently reaches up to give your head an affectionate pat as you both listen. “Then the grocery team can take the second car, and whoever is handling the rental office can just walk.”

“Rental office?” you ask. “What for?”

“Just to grab our passes for the beach,” Lara answers you. “They’re like little tags. It’s part of what we paid for.”

“The rental’s under your name,” Soonyoung reminds her, “so we should probably handle that.”

“Yah, you just want the easy task,” Mingyu complains.

Soonyoung grins, guilty as charged not at all sorry about it. He grabs for Lara’s hand and heads for the front door. “If we aren’t here when you get back, we’ll leave your passes on the table!” he calls, and then the door slams shut.

“Asshole,” Mingyu grumbles affectionately.

The four of you look at each other in the resulting quiet. Then, Ruby asks, “Anything you want to add to our list?”

You lean further around her to read her phone screen, scanning what drinks had already been requested.

“Nope,” you tell her. “I’m good with that. Does this mean I’m on the grocery team?”

Chan looks up from his phone when you ask this, waiting to hear the answer.

Ruby and Mingyu meet gazes, seeming to have a silent conversation. Then, she gives you a sheepish look, almost a grimace. “Yeah - sorry, but I kind of wanted to go with Gyu on the drinks run, if that’s okay?”

You’ve been best friends with Ruby for a long time. You know her in and out, and you know this: she’s not like this, not sweet and apologetic. If it was just you two, she’d just say what she wanted. The act is for a reason.

You blink at her, trying to figure it out. “Of course it’s okay,” you say slowly. “If you and Mingyu are handling the drink run, then I’ll handle groceries with Chan.”

Ah. That was Ruby’s game - she paired you with Chan on purpose.

Meddler. Pain in the ass. Angel. Light of your life. She contains multitudes.

His eyes drop back to his phone. “You don’t have to,” he says, not looking at you. “If you want to go with them or catch up with Lara then I can handle it by myself.”

You frown. “It’s not really a one person job,” you observe. “And I don’t mind - really.”

“So it’s decided!” Ruby says brightly, moving to rest her hand on her boyfriend’s forearm. “We should beat you back, but we’ll wait for you guys so we can help unload the car.”

“Thanks,” you say, meaning it. For everything.

Ruby and Mingyu head out, and you meander closer to Chan. You’re not alone together very often - you’re pretty much always in a group setting.

You’d met through Ruby and Mingyu, years ago. You and Ruby were a very packaged deal, and Mingyu had a crew of friends that filtered in and out of your social events like they kept a scheduled rotation. When Soonyoung had settled into a serious relationship with Lara, the two of them became pretty permanent fixtures with Ruby and Mingyu, and Chan usually went where Soonyoung did. So then you were six.

How perfectly even. How serendipitous. How nearly fated.

If only he saw it that way.

But he doesn’t, he’s made that clear. It was Lara’s fault, actually. That night is burned into your brain, an unpleasant memory custom-made to slither into your brain when you’re trying to sleep before a big day.

The six of you had been bar-hopping on a Saturday night about seven months ago. It had been cool - late autumn teasing winter, and you’d been shivering as the six of you rowdily made your way up the block to your next stop. Laughing at something Soonyoung had said, Chan had reached around your shoulders sloppily, pulling you tight against him.

“Cold?” he’d asked you, as you tried to keep walking - a challenge because of both the alcohol in your system and the alarm bells going off in your head over his hand on your arm.

“Definitely chilly,” you’d managed to reply, looking up at him sideways. His profile was sharper than you’d realized before, and it sent a wave down your core, sinking like a weight through your stomach and into your lower belly and he grinned down at you.

You never wanted him to let go. Never, for the rest of your lives.

“You two are cute,” Lara had said drunkenly, the words a little slurred, as she leaned heavily on Soonyoung. You’d flushed, a little embarrassed, but Chan’s reaction had mortified you. His eyes had widened and he’d gone so far as to retract his arm from around you as quick as lightning, moving sideways to put inches between you again.

It left you frozen, a block of ice.

“No - we’re - we’re only friends,” he had said emphatically, and Lara had apologized, her hand over her mouth. Then, Ruby had tripped on the sidewalk and ripped the knees of her jeans, and the whole incident was forgotten.

Not by you, though. Never by you. This was the moment that floated up like the ghost of Christmas past whenever Ruby urged you to confess to Chan, which was more frequent than you’d like. The rush of cold in the absence of his arm, the way he’d stuttered in his hurry to refute the misunderstanding.

Message received, Lee Chan. Loud and fucking clear.

Didn’t change a thing about how you feel, though.

Presently, you try to push this out of your head - the fact that there’s no social buffer between you, no Ruby or Soonyoung to hide behind - before it can trip you up. “What’s on the list?” you ask. He hands you his phone, lets you scroll through everything he’d typed up.

“Okay,” you say, handing it back. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Yeah,” he says, a little absently, then starts patting at his pockets, eyes scanning the tabletop. “Yeah, I’m ready. Aish, Lee Chan, where did you put the keys?”

“They’re by the door,” you offer, remembering the small table you’d all dropped them on as you came in.

He shoots you a grateful smile. “Thanks. Let’s go?”

You nod, grabbing your sunglasses from the table and following him to the driveway out front.

It’s less than ten minutes to the nearest grocery, not even enough time for three whole songs to play through the car’s stereo, half-drowned by the roar of wind and sea through the open windows. Chan grins sideways at you as he parks, running a hand through his messy hair before unbuckling and stepping out of the car. You shake yourself from your daze and hurry to follow.

“What’s the game plan?” you ask, as you step out of the summer sun and into the fluorescents and air conditioning. Your skin prickles instantly upon the change. “Divide and conquer?”

He pulls out his phone and brings the list up. “I’d rather just stick together,” he says, looking at you sideways, his voice a bit thin - like he’s nervous you’ll reject the plan. “If that’s okay?”

“Of course,” you say, shrugging easily.. “I’m just following you. I’m the assistant. You’re in charge.”

Something flashes across his face - a shooting star of an expression, gone before you’re sure you saw it - and then he’s pushing the cart into the produce section, calling over his shoulder for you to go grab some peaches.

You wind your way together through the store. Each time he stops the cart, you each dart after something else from the nearby shelves then reconvene to look at the list again, shoulders pressed together as you squint at the small font.

It thrills you each time that he doesn’t pull away, each time that he doesn’t hurry to put space between you again as he had back in November.

Don’t make it weird, you beg yourself as you load a few cases of soda into the cart. Keep it in check.

A few rows over, the cart a third of the way full, you pause at a row of sauces. You step back, scanning the labels, then drop into a crouch to read those on the bottom shelf. Chan drops beside you, his knee gently bumping yours as he reaches for one of the jars, bringing it closer to scan the label.

“This one’s my favorite,” he says, and there’s something low in his voice that makes you look over at him. Your fingers overlap his for a second as you take the jar from him, turning it over so you can see which one it is. The moment feels staticky, charged with something.

You chicken out, shuffle back on your heels so your knees no longer touch. “It is a good one,” you agree, putting it back in his hand and pressing your palms to your knees as you rise again. “Get a few - I think Ruby likes that one too.”

He nods, looking away again, dutifully reaching to grab a second jar. You move on to the next aisle in silence. You almost feel like his energy seems… disappointed. But that wouldn’t make sense at all.

Turning the corner to the first row of freezers, you feel your body react instantly to the cold and you immediately fold in around yourself, goosebumps rising up your arms.

“Oh, it’s cold,” you complain. “Let’s hurry. Please.”

Chan doesn’t respond, but you can feel his eyes sweep over you, heavy, before he starts pushing the cart past you at, yes, a quicker speed. You shiver once, violently, before you hurry after him.

When you’re done, stepping outside into the sunlight feels like being released - like leaving school on the last day before summer break, like leaving work before a vacation, like stepping outside for the first time after rain has kept you inside for days on end. You let it warm you, happy, as you help Chan load the bags into the car.

You drive the few minutes back to the house in silence. As Chan makes the last turn, you wonder out loud, “Do you think Ruby and Mingyu finished before us?”

“Definitely,” Chan says, and he’s right - as the house comes into view, you can see that the second car is already parked.

True to their word, Ruby and Mingyu greet you at the door to help carry everything in and put it away.

“Lara grabbed us a spot down on the beach,” Ruby informs you, as you both stand at the back of the car, scanning for the lighter bags. “As soon as we’re ready we can head down.”

You let out a happy sigh. “I think an afternoon at the beach will cure me.”

“Nothing will cure you,” she deadpans, then literally stops mid-stride to correct herself. “Actually, something could. And it’s here, and available, and sharing your room.”

“I hate you a lot!” you tell her brightly, pushing past her with an armful of groceries and heading into the relative dark of the house, praying Chan hadn’t overheard her bullshit.

You hurry through the rest - getting the groceries away, getting changed for the beach, throwing the things you need to bring into a tote. Downstairs, the others wait for you by the back door. Chan is wearing Mingyu’s dumb-ass sunglasses and is clearly in the middle of an old-man bit, his voice reedy and sarcastic. Ruby cackles as Mingyu shoves Chan’s shoulder playfully, reaching to get his eyewear back. You can’t help the wave of affection you feel for them, your goofy friends.

You all step out into the sand, eyes adjusting to the sun. You follow Mingyu’s shadow on the ground as he makes his way towards the spot Soonyoung and Lara saved for you. You drop your tote in the sand and help Ruby spread out a blanket, using your shoes and bags to hold down the corners. Mingyu and Chan settle a small cooler off to one side, filled to the brim with ice and drinks.

You pull your cover-up over your head and toss it in the direction of your tote bag and stretch out, closing your eyes happily and letting your body relax under the warmth of the sun, the sound of breaking waves rhythmic and soothing. You’re startled by the sound of music and open your eyes again to find Ruby setting up a bluetooth speaker near the cooler. She looks at you sheepishly and hurries to lower the volume.

“Sorry,” she giggles. “Didn’t mean it to start so loud.”

To your left, Chan is pulling his white t-shirt over his head. Your eyes widen and you look away as fast as you can, catching Ruby react exactly the same, her eyes comically large.

You both turn your backs to the boys, and she mouths at you, what the fuck?

What the fuck is right. You’re used to being around Mingyu, who has an admittedly perfect body, and even Soonyoung is shockingly cut under those baggy t-shirts and cropped hoodies he sports. Chan’s always been the little one, the most normal, the most obtainable in his regular-ness.

Something’s changed since the last time you were all swimming together. He’d always had a nice body, but this…

You close your eyes against the bright summer sun, as if you can block out the curve of his pecs, the shadowed lines hinting at abs. None of those had been there last summer.

That motherfucker. First, he rejects you, then he gets hotter? You hope he gets eaten by a shark today.

You push yourself to stand.

“Where are you going?” Ruby hisses.

“I need a beer,” you tell her flatly. “Actually, maybe ten beers.”

“I’m not holding your hair today,” she warns you flatly, and you flip her off and make your way to the cooler. It’s going to be a long day.

You manage to get a few hours of peace and sanity by laying out with Ruby and Lara, just enjoying the music and occasional chitchat. Further down the beach, the guys run around with a volleyball but no net, making their own asinine rules.

“I still say you should tell him,” Ruby grumbles, after catching you watching Chan from behind your sunglasses for the ninth time, and you shoot her a warning look. But the damage is done - Lara latches on, her eyes sharp.

“Him… Chan?” she guesses. You feel your face heat.

“I’m that obvious, huh?” you murmur reproachfully.

“I mean,” she says uncertainly, looking to Ruby as if for backup, “I think you both are? If it helps?”

“Both?” you repeat flatly. “I wish.”

She exchanges a look with Ruby again, a silent conversation that you aren’t part of.

“He’s not into me,” you say, easy, like the words don’t cut at you. The salty air hits the wounds and makes them sting. “He’s been clear about that.”

Ruby’s brow furrows; you’ve never actually articulated this in front of her before.

“He has?” she asks, her voice suddenly gentle and almost sorrowful. “You never told me-”

“You were there,” you protest, then look over at the guys to make sure they hadn’t stopped yelling and running. “You both were, actually. That night when you tore your knee open outside of Ivy and Ivory?”

“Yeah,” Lara says slowly, her eyes on you, “I remember that night. That was… kind of the first time I thought he had a thing for you? Like, I know it was a while ago, but -”

“A thing for me?” you echo, working hard to keep your voice quiet. “When you called us out he was so horrified he couldn’t even touch me - he acted like it burned him -”

“Honey, no,” she says seriously, leaning forward. She looks incredulous at your perspective.

“Bestie,” Ruby says, giving you a please believe me, your best friend, who would never lead you astray look. “He was terrified that you’d get spooked.”

You press your mostly-empty beer can to your chin, eyes narrowing. “Explain.”

“He wasn’t embarrassed at the idea of being coupled with you,” Lara whispers, her eyes on the guys, whose game has drifted only minutely closer to your blanket. “It was one of those like, shut up or you’ll scare her away moments. He wanted to kill me.”

“Literally, if he’d had a cartoon thought bubble, it would have said shhhh, not so loud!” Ruby adds. She peers at you. “Did you really take it like that this whole time? You thought it was a rejection?”

“He practically pushed me into traffic!” you hiss defensively, and both girls explode into laughter.

“That is not what happened,” Lara insists, and then heads to the cooler, leaving you, Ruby, and your very confused thoughts.

You look at her. She looks at you.

“I thought you knew,” she says finally, holding up her hands in mock innocence. “I had no idea you took it that way.”

You can’t respond - the boys return at this exact moment, Mingyu flops dramatically next to Ruby, panting heavily, sweat running down his face.

“Jagiya,” he gasps like he’s dying. “Water. Please.”

Ruby rolls her eyes, but a water bottle lands next to Mingyu’s head before she can get up. You turn towards the cooler and see Soonyoung standing with his hands on his knees, also panting, while Chan digs around for presumably another water bottle.

“You need anything out of here?” he asks you over his shoulder.

You shake your head. “Thanks, though.”

You rise, brushing errant sand from the backs of your thighs, squinting at the water. The waves are breaking evenly, and there’s room to tread further out past the breaking point. “I think I’m gonna go in,” you announce to whoever is listening.

Lara shakes her head, reaching one hand up to tug at Soonyoung, obviously wanting him to sit by her. Ruby flaps her hand at you as if to tell you go on. She’s never been a big swimmer, more of a giant unicorn floatie kind of girl.

You stop when you’re ankle-deep, letting a few waves break and rush over the tops of your feet, adjusting to the temperature. You start to wade in, the water rushing around your shins, when you hear your name called breathlessly behind you.

Chan jogs up, his hair pushed back, a thin silver chain bouncing against his collarbones. You look away before you can get caught. Ruby and Lara’s words race through your brain. Have you been wrong about him this whole time? Have you misread every signal over the last three years, viewed it through the wrong lens?

“You can’t leave me alone with them,” he complains, face twisting in exaggerated suffering.

You laugh. “Can’t stand being the fifth wheel, huh?”

He shakes his head, smiling, still trying to catch his breath from volleyball and then the jog over here.

“You coming in?” you ask him. “I was gonna go out and tread for a while.”

He nods. “You don’t mind if I join?”

You look at him appraisingly, new information starting to process inside your mind, shifting the rules you’d followed for months. The sea air makes you bold. “You?” you say. “I would never mind.”

You don’t wait to see his reaction; you step further into the water, hitting just above your knees when you reach the spot where the waves are breaking. You stumble a little as a wave hits your thighs, and Chan’s hand finds your elbow, firm but unassuming, helping you steady yourself again.

When you reach waist-deep water, you eye the spot just ahead where the waves reach their tallest point as they gather on their way to shore.

“We’re gonna have to go under that,” you tell Chan. He actually looks nervous, which makes you laugh. “Want me to hold your hand?”

The smile he sends you is both self-deprecating and relieved, like he can’t believe his answer is yes, but yes, and he’s so glad you asked.

“Come on,” you say, laughing again. You hold out your hand and he takes it, and when the next ocean swell rises before you like a mighty wall you hold your breath and tug him under. It’s an act of faith, dipping below the roaring ocean, hoping you time it right. You keep his fingers tight between yours and let your body sink.

You surface on the other side, in an area of relative calm. Beside you, Chan wipes at his face with his spare hand, which makes you realize you’re still holding the other. You release it gently, treading water easily. Chan can probably just touch sand if he stretches.

You tread together quietly for a few minutes, less than six inches apart. The sun glints off the water around you, dancing and sparkling as the water moves. You wish you could ask him about that night, years ago, confirm Lara and Ruby’s interpretation of the events. You could - you just aren’t brave enough.

You look at him, familiar and beautiful and - until today - unobtainable. What if you swam closer, what if you pressed yourself close and kissed him, right here in the ocean?

If it ruined everything, you could just let yourself drown. And if it didn’t… well, you could let yourself drown a different way, then.

You chicken out. You chat about inconsequential things instead - his upcoming trip with his family, a work project you’d recently wrapped up that you’d been talking about for months, what the plan will be for dinner when you all get tired of the sunshine.

It’s easy to talk to Chan - it always has been. He’s quick with a joke or a bit, but always open and earnest. He watches you quietly when you talk, accentuates his stories with his hands when it’s his turn. Eventually, Ruby joins you. Mingyu stands at the edge of the water, one hand shielding his eyes, watching her go.

“He’s not coming in?” you ask.

She rolls her eyes. “Doesn’t want to get his hair wet. God, the water feels great. Anyway, we’re thinking of heading in soon, to get showers and stuff before we figure out dinner?”

“Sounds good,” Chan says.

“I’ll be right in,” you say, and beneath the water you grab at Ruby’s hand. Stay.

Chan gives you both a wave goodbye and heads towards the beach. You both watch as he steps onto land, approaches Mingyu, and shakes like a dog, spraying water all over his friend. You can hear Mingyu’s shout of protest even from here, and Ruby’s maniacal laughter echoes around you.

“How’s it going?” she asks you slyly, when she’s finished laughing at her man. Like she knows the answer already.

“Nice of you to ask!” you cry. “Actually! I’m kind of having a meltdown! Because for nearly eight months I thought he’d told me unequivocally, irrevocably no, and now I am finding out that he… I don’t even know. What does it mean? That was ages ago, surely even if he felt something then…”

“Only one way to find out,” Ruby says, way too sensibly.

“That’s not helpful,” you grumble.

“It is helpful, it’s just not easy,” she says sagely. You splash a handful of water towards her head and she shrieks, swimming further away from you.

“That’s enough of you,” you tell her, and start heading in towards the sand.

Back at the blanket, the boys and Lara have mostly packed up. You pull your rolled up towel out of your tote and dry off briskly. When everyone is accounted for, you all collect your things and head back up the walkway towards the house.

You put everything away - leftover drinks in the fridge, wet towels in the washing machine, etc - and the couples disappear into their rooms, doors closing and locking up and down the hallway.

Which just leaves you and Chan.

You follow him to the end of the hall and into the large room you’ll be somehow sharing. He turns on one of the bedside lamps and stops to plug his phone in, then looks over at you.

“You wanna shower?” he asks, tossing his phone lightly onto the bed. You can only stare at him, short-circuiting, until he clarifies. “Do you want to go first?”

“Oh,” you utter, quickly trying to recover. “Yeah, if you don’t mind?”

He waves his hand graciously towards the dark bathroom, as if to say, be my guest.

Showering turns into a reprieve - a locked door between you allowing you to jumpstart your brain again as you feel the hot water remove all the hidden bits of sand clinging to your legs and back.

While Chan takes his turn after you, you escape outside with a cold soda from the fridge. The beach beyond your rental’s deck is still pretty busy, but the crowd has thinned a bit since you all packed up. The sun descends behind the house, which means the sunrise tomorrow morning will come over the beach.

Mingyu seems to be preparing the grill, and Ruby bustles around, bringing out ingredients and setting them close to the grill. On one of the cushioned benches, Lara drapes her legs over Soonyoung’s legs and talks with him quietly, both of them giggling.

Since it seems like your help isn’t needed anywhere - you’ll help set the table when the food is almost ready, as is your usual job as a non-cook - you sit with your cold drink and watch the waves break, lost in thought.

Lara and Ruby seemed so sure that you’d misread Chan that autumn night. There’s a small part of you that’s still doubtful, but at the end of the day you do trust their judgement. So, assuming they’re right, Chan had been interested in you. That was over six months ago, though. It doesn’t mean anything now except that… well… if he was interested in you once, there’s a possibility he could be again. Or still.

Your move, it seems, is to figure out if that’s the case. Chan hasn’t done anything recently to indicate that he’s disinterested, but he also hasn’t done anything to indicate that he is. He - like you - has played it very safe. It isn’t until now that you’ve questioned if it’s because he actually sees you platonically, or if he thinks that’s what you want.

One of you is going to have to push the boundary, to test the waters.

When Chan emerges from the house, freshly showered and hair falling over his forehead nearly to his eyes, you look up from where you’re sitting and watch him thoughtfully. He pauses at the grill to ask Mingyu something, then passes by the mess of limbs that is Soonyoung and Lara, then drops onto the seat next to you.

“Mingyu says it’ll be another twenty minutes or so until everything’s done,” he informs you.

“Guess I should get the plates and stuff,” you sigh, leaning forward to set your drink on the table.

“I can help you,” he offers, and follows you inside, where you both open cabinets and drawers in the unfamiliar kitchen until you find everything you need.

He heads outside ahead of you, his hands loaded with utensils and condiments, and you pause, watching his dark silhouette against the evening sunlight. Your heart tumbles, and you jerk back into motion, following him into the light.

You all stay on the back deck until well after sunset. As the sky sinks into deeper and deeper blues, you rise and plug in the string of lights that weave through the beams above the deck, casting everyone in a nearly-orange glow. Mingyu sets up the tabletop fire pit, but you end up chilly anyway as night takes hold.

You shiver once, and you notice Chan looking sideways at you.

“Cold?” he asks, and the wave of deja vu you get is almost dizzying.

You shake your head instinctively, more against the memory than actually answering the question. “I’m fine,” you say, even though you do have goosebumps rising along your arms.

He gets up anyway, heading into the unlit house without a word. You rise a beat later and head across the deck.

Ruby calls your name like a question, and in answer you point at the cooler tucked behind the grill, where you’d all stashed beer and water bottles. She gives a quick “ah” of understanding.

“You need one?” you ask her, as you shuffle behind the grill and pull on the cooler’s lid.

“I’ll take a beer,” Mingyu answers for her, and you dig through the bottles and cans until you find his preferred brand, reaching to pass it to him over Soonyoung’s head. Then you turn back and look at your options, trying to decide if you want a can of spiked seltzer or if you want to go inside and mix something a little harder.

While you’re deciding, the glass door to your left slides open, and Chan steps quietly back onto the deck. He’s in a baby blue hoodie that he hadn’t been wearing before, and he carries a bundle of dark material in his hands.

“Here,” he says quietly, holding it out to you. “It felt weird to dig through your luggage, so I grabbed one of mine.”

You take his offering silently, fighting a tiny smile. “Thanks,” you say, equally quiet, like you’ve both agreed you want to keep this moment between you, not call the attention of the others. You shake the dark hoodie out and pull it over your head, slipping your arms into the sleeves and fixing the hood so it’s not inside-out. The hem falls almost past your shorts, and the sleeves reach past your fingers.

Chan bends to grab a beer from the cooler, then heads back to where he was sitting before. You reach for your own drink, settling on a seltzer after all, and when you turn to head back to your spot you can’t help but notice him watching you through the flickering fire pit, something unreadable on his face.

“You good?” you ask him as you settle back into your spot.

“Yeah,” he says, but there’s something tight in his voice that makes the goosebumps rise on your arms again despite the new layer of warmth you’re wearing. That smells like him. You tug on the edges of the sleeves to pull the shoulders tighter and curl up on your chair, tucking your legs into the baggy material and locking back into the conversation.

The night moves slowly, the constellations rotating centimeter by centimeter above you, everything made comfortably fuzzy by the drinks and the firelight. Sometime before midnight, Ruby suggests a walk along the beach.

You go in bare feet, the cool wood of the deck stairs giving way to sand as soft as silk. Mingyu and Ruby take the lead, the rest of you trailing behind. At some point - long after the house disappears from view - Lara stops, pointing up at the moon - a sliver above the undulating sea.

The four of you stop and look for a minute. Down the beach, you can hear Ruby and Mingyu but they’re out of sight in the dark.

“We should probably catch up with them,” you say, looking in the direction of their disembodied voices.

“I think we’re gonna head back to the house, actually,” Lara says, looking up at Soonyoung to gauge if he agrees. “We’ll leave the back door unlocked for you all?”

They say their goodbyes and head back hand in hand, leaving you alone with Chan and that sliver of moon. For a minute, the night seems to expand around you, growing bigger and bigger and leaving the two of you so small within it. Chan looks at you silently, as if he’s waiting for something, one side of his mouth quirked into an almost-smile that makes your stomach swim with the desire to cause a real smile, to push that little almost into something fully-formed.

Then, Ruby calls your names loudly from further up the beach, and the spell is broken.

“Guess we better catch up,” Chan says wryly. You both turn and start walking in silence, nearly shoulder to shoulder. As you walk, the back of your hand brushes the back of his just once, and your entire body prickles at the contact. You almost shift away, give him a little more space, but something urges you to hold the line. You want to see what he will do.

You keep walking, close enough that you can hear him breathing, hear the sand slide each time he takes a step. The back of his hands brushes yours again, warm. He doesn’t react, so neither do you.

You carry on, knuckles occasionally bumping his, until you find Ruby and Mingyu. They’re standing watching the moon, Mingyu wrapped around Ruby’s back like a giant, love-sick koala.

“Where’re Soonyoung and Lara?” Ruby asks, when she notices you.

“They headed back,” you say, stopping a few feet away.

“We should, too,” Ruby muses, eyes on the moon. “But it’s so pretty here.”

“It is,” Chan murmurs from beside you and you glance sideways at him, trying to read him. He’s staring out at the dark sea, the stars flickering in and out above it, giving you his profile. Ruby’s eyes flick to you, one eyebrow quirked. You look away, not wanting to get caught in this silent conversation, but you can feel the heat on your face, the smile tugging at your mouth.

The house is dark when you all return, and you let yourselves back in quietly, just in case Soonyoung and Lara are actually sleeping. You bid Ruby and Mingyu goodnight in whispers and head to the end of the hall. Chan closes the door and you flick on the bedside lamp, casting a low yellow light through the room.

Wordlessly, Chan begins to rummage through his suitcase, transferring items to a small pile - a pair of loose shorts, a toothbrush, his phone charger. It occurs to you, suddenly, that he’s gathering what he needs to leave - to go sleep on a couch.

“Chan,” you say. You don’t even know what you want to say next. You just know you don’t want him to go, don’t want him to sleep on a couch, don’t want to be here alone.

He pauses, turning to look at you over his shoulder.

What do you want to say? Stay? You balk, suddenly chicken again.

“I can take the couch tonight,” you say instead. He shakes his head, but you press on. “We can switch tomorrow.”

“Nope,” he says easily.

“Chan,” you say again. He keeps rummaging, his back to you.

“Chan,” you repeat, insistent. He turns fully, still crouching, and raises his eyebrows as if to say, yes?

“Do you want to just stay here?” you ask, trying to keep your voice from shaking. It feels like a moment of great enormity.

He shakes his head, and the rejection stings enough that you feel your breath catch.

But then he says, “No, I’m not letting you sleep on a couch. I’m trying to be a gentleman - quit fighting me.”

You realize, slowly, that he misunderstood what you were offering.

“No,” you say. “I meant… like… no one on the couch.”

He stares at you blankly, his hands open like he forgot he was searching for something.

Embarrassment licks up the back of your neck like flames. “The bed isn’t that small,” you say, a little defensive. “We could just, like, stay on our own sides.”

The blank look on his face slowly transforms. His brows come together, his mouth tucking into a rare frown. He opens his mouth like he’s going to ask something, but nothing comes out. His eyes flick to the bed and then back to you.

“I don’t…” he says, and the heat of embarrassment heightens. He clears his throat and tries again, “I don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he says slowly.

“I wouldn’t suggest it if I wasn’t okay with it,” you point out.

He nods slowly, then pushes himself to stand. “Are you extremely sure?” he asks, peering at you. “This isn’t a High Noon decision, is it?”

You laugh, the tension dissipating a little. “No,” you assure him. “I just… feel bad putting you on a couch… and I don’t particularly want to sleep on a couch either… and I think we can… not make it weird?”

“We can,” he says, like a promise.

You second-guess your decision the whole time you get ready for bed - as you brush your teeth, as you change into pajamas, as you settle into the side of the bed by the balcony and plug in your phone. You’re nervous you won’t be able to keep it not weird - nervous that you won’t be able to keep your hands to yourself, that the magnetic pull to touch him will be too strong.

But when Chan climbs into the other side of the bed and clicks off the light, illuminated only by his phone screen, his warmth seeping into the blankets around you, it isn’t your hands that inch towards him. It’s your words. They claw their way out, desperate to reach across the six inches of darkness.

Chan, I’m actually really into you.

What really happened that night, when we were walking from bar to bar?

I’m in love with you, probably. I think.

Are you interested in me? At all?

You fight them all back, hold them all in. You don’t relax until Chan’s clicked his phone off and placed it on the nightstand, whispered goodnight to you, until you hear his breathing deepen. Just in case. Just in case the words get out the second you unclench - you need him to be asleep first so you can be sure he won’t hear them. You fall asleep with your face buried in the crook of your elbow, one last line of defense.

You wake up with your face buried in the crook of Chan’s neck instead of your own arm. You realize it instantly, body freezing like you’re about to get caught stealing, your whole body tight with panic. Like if you don’t move, you won’t wake him, and he won’t know that you cuddled him in your sleep.

Mortifying.

He’s mostly on his back but sort of tilted towards you, and you have one arm over his ribs, your nose pressed into the juncture of his shoulder. But, you realize as you stay frozen, his arms are around you. This was a mutual cuddle. Your legs are touching, too, one of your shins between his.

You try to breathe as shallowly as possible, fight the urge to stretch or roll or scoot away. You don’t want to alert him, pop this bubble, make the moment end. Chan is holding you as the sun rises over the ocean outside. It feels like another daydream, too good to be true. You never want it to end. You wish it was more real than this.

Slowly, you relax, one limb at a time, letting your muscles unclench and inhaling deeply. His skin, warm against your cheek, smells good - still a bit salty from the ocean, even after showering. But it’s only moments later that he stirs, his arms tightening around you and then loosening again as he makes a satisfied, low noise in his throat.

Then he goes still. You freeze back up, watching him for a reaction.

His mouth moves first, quirking sideways, and then he cracks one eye and peers down at you. A laugh bubbles from him and the cuddle is disintegrating around you as he shifts himself backwards and up on his elbows, still chuckling.

“Sorry,” he’s laughing, “sorry. I didn’t - that - I did not expect to do that in my sleep.”

You can’t help your own sheepish smile in return. “Me either, but it was actually comfy,” you admit. Now disentangled, you feel kind of cold and a little sad. But he’s acting like it was a funny goof, your bodies clinging to each other the second your brains turned off, so you’ll go along with the joke.

He rolls over and rummages on his nightstand, returning with his phone in hand and pushing thin-framed glasses up his nose. You look away, heart clenching. You love him in those; combined with the bedhead and his smell in your nose and the warmth of his skin not yet evaporated from yours and the feeling of his arms around you… it’s all a lot.

“I’m gonna… get dressed,” you say, reaching for your own phone. Chan hums a response and you vanish into the bathroom, brushing your teeth and getting ready as slowly as possible. When you come out, the bedroom is blessedly empty. You close your eyes and exhale. It’s going to be a long day.

When you finally head down to the kitchen, Lara and Chan are chatting easily at the table, steaming mugs in their hands. He’s still in those damn cute glasses.

“Good morning!��� Lara greets you brightly. “There’s coffee!”

“God bless you,” you tell her seriously. You open a cabinet in search of a mug, but you’re faced with only plates and glassware instead. Chan appears at the cabinet next to you, reaching up and offering you a white mug with a cartoon seagull on it.

“Thanks,” you say, feeling weirdly shy considering you just woke up pressed against him. Once you fix the coffee how you like it, you take the seat next to Lara at the table. “Everyone else still asleep?” you ask.

“Soonyoung is, but I have to go wake him up in a minute,” Lara says, clicking on her phone screen to check the time. “We have a snorkeling thing at ten.”

“Ruby and Mingyu are out already,” Chan tells you. “Sunrise yoga. She texted us.”

“God,” you say, horrified. “Mingyu’s gonna hate that.” You realize at the mention of her text that you’ve left your phone upstairs.

Chan laughs. “Right?”

Lara rises, presumably to go wake up her boyfriend. “Her text said they’d be out until around four,” she tells you as she moves back into the kitchen to rinse out her mug. “I think they’ll beat us back, but not by much. Maybe we can go grab dinner when everyone’s back?”

“Sure,” you say, shooting a look at Chan to see if he has any opinions on this plan. He shrugs - no opinions to be found. You’ve always loved the way he could just go with the flow, happy to be along for the adventure.

You and Chan are still sitting at the table, coffees dwindling, when Lara pulls a bleary-eyed Soonyoung through the front door with a shouted goodbye, the sound of the car’s engine reaching you from outside. You look at each other, left alone together.

Again.

He gives you a flat, unamused look that he definitely picked up from Seungkwan or Vernon. “Are they doing this on purpose?” he asks, and a jolt goes through you. He’s said it. It’s like a curtain being pulled, shedding sunlight on something that had been shadowbound until now.

“Doing what?” you say, even though you know. “Leaving us by ourselves? Probably. Ruby likes to fuck with me.”

Chan laughs, and you’re filled with shaky relief that the moment isn’t weird. You both knew what this was, apparently, and facing it has put you on the same team against it.

“I thought it was to fuck with me,” he admits, still smiling.

“Two birds with one stone,” you muse. “For the sake of efficiency.”

But you wonder… why would it be fucking with him if he wasn’t interested in you? Is he admitting something?

“Well,” Chan says, stretching his arms above his head, fingers linked, “by all means, you can do your own thing today. You don’t have to babysit me. But it’s supposed to storm later, so I was thinking I’d use the pool a bit this morning while we still can, and then maybe go into town for lunch.”

You consider this. “That’s very pragmatic of you,” you observe lightly.

“That’s one of the first words I’d pick to describe myself,” he tries to deadpan, but the smile is too quick, telling on himself.

You let him get changed first, and when you make your way out back to the pool he’s already in the water up to his waist. You toss a towel onto one of the chaises.

“How’s the water?” you ask him, as you move to sit on the edge, preparing to let your legs dangle.

“It’s great,” he tells you, smiling easily, like he’s happy - happy you’re here, happy to be here with you.

You wonder if that’s the case, as you slowly lower your legs in, the water coming to lap a few inches below your knees.

“Feels cold,” you tell him. It doesn’t, really - way warmer than the ocean you played in yesterday, but you want to tease him a little.

Suddenly, his hands are on your ankles, holding you firmly. His hands are on your ankles.

“You should get in quickly,” he tells you, trying - again - to pretend to be serious, despite the smile he can’t combat. “Like ripping off a band-aid.”

“Lee Chan,” you warn, but a giggle rises up in you. “Don’t you dare. I will get in when I am good and ready!”

“I’m just trying to help,” he says, pretending to be hurt. His fingers are still pressing against your skin, your brain impossibly aware of the exact spot his thumb presses, as if there’s a beacon illuminating the place.

He gives your legs a playful tug, too lightly to actually move you. You squeal anyway, reaching down to splash water towards him. “Chan!”

He releases your ankles, taking a step back to avoid the splash, laughing. “Be careful,” he warns. “If it’s war you want -” He holds his hand like a knife above the water, ready to retaliate the splash.

“Oh my God, you menace. I’m getting in!” you cry, gripping the lip of the pool and sliding in, staying on your tippy-toes as your body adjusts to the temperature.

“Come on,” he goads, backing away from you, bobbing towards the shallow end. “You have to go under or it doesn’t count.”

“You’re a menace,” you repeat firmly, and he laughs, enjoying that his teasing has worked you up.

You eye the expanse of water between you - you’re at opposite ends of the pool now. “Do you think I could make it across in one go?” you ask.

He raises an eyebrow. “Like, underwater? I don’t know - how’s your lung capacity?”

You laugh. “Maybe not good enough,” you admit wryly. “But I’ll try.”

You take a deep breath of salty sea air, only minorly marred by chlorine, and slip down below the surface. You let the bottoms of your feet find the flat cement wall of the pool, and you give a hearty push. It’s hard without being able to see how much farther you have to go, but you hate getting chlorine in your eyes, so you kick and pull blindly until your lungs start to burn. When your natural buoyancy pulls you upward, you don’t fight it.

Your hands find something warm and solid before you surface. Surprise causes you to rear your head, fucking with your balance, and your feet find the floor of the pool. You stand up unsteadily, blinking water out of your eyes.

Chan comes into focus, his expression tight, and you realize that your hands had found his stomach, centimeters above his belly button.

“Sorry,” you say quickly, pulling away.

It’s like ever since last night, you can’t stop touching, your bodies fighting to come together even as you both dig in your heels and try to stop it.

“No worries,” he says just as quickly. You try to cover the moment by wiping water out of your face, but you feel warm all over, the cool water useless against your heated skin as you try to push away how his muscled stomach had felt under your fingertips.

You spend a good hour just floating and splashing around. Sometimes you chat and sometimes you lapse into comfortable silence. At one point you hear him singing lightly under his breath, his voice surprisingly clear but frustratingly quiet.

Eventually, your stomach growls. “I’m starting to get hungry,” you tell him. “You up for lunch in town, maybe? I’d just need to shower super quick first.”

“Sounds great,” he says easily, and you both head for the single runged ladder at the deep end. Chan climbs up first, standing by the ladder, dripping onto the concrete. You grip the metal handles firmly and find the bottom rung with one foot, pushing heavily to hoist yourself up.

And Chan helps you up - his fingers finding the dip of your waist and guiding you until you’re steadily on the pool deck, something protective in the touch.

Your entire body thrums, electric, cells vibrating. You hurry to your towel and wrap yourself up, hiding your face in the material - pretending you’re just chasing droplets away from your eyes, but actually smothering the urge to scream, if you’re going to touch me then get over here and do it properly!

“Did you know there’s a hot tub under the deck? Was that mentioned in the listing?” Chan asks, and you uncover your face.

“Huh?”

He’s pointing, and then you see that he’s right - tucked beneath the deck is a decently-sized jacuzzi, the lid on and straps fastened shut.

“Oh,” you say breathlessly. “Well, I know what I’m doing after dinner.”

Chan laughs, and you head inside, careful not to drip a trail of pool water through the house.

The rest of the morning passes pleasantly and without any touching; you shower and get changed and go on foot into the small beach town. You find a cute open-air cafe and order lunch, the iced coffee absolutely divine under the warm summer sun. The company’s not bad either.

After you’ve paid and left, Chan pauses on the sidewalk and gives you a mischievous smile. “Up for a little adventure?” he asks.

You frown. “What level of adventure?” you ask cautiously. “Like, on a scale of jumping out of a plane being ten to laying on my towel in the sand being one, what are we talking here?”

He laughs. “Like a three,” he assures you. “We just have a bit of a walk - maybe twenty minutes?”

The walk is pleasant - you don’t even get too warm, as there’s a constant breeze off the ocean and clouds pass overhead, pitching you momentarily into shade between longer bouts of sunshine. When you turn a bend and see the lighthouse rise against the sky in the distance, you actually gasp.

“Can we go up?” you ask, delighted.

“That’s the plan,” he tells you, and for once you can read his face perfectly - he’s pleased that he’s surprised you, pleased to have made you happy. Something warm simmers under your skin, affection and happiness and something else.

It takes forever to reach the top. You have to stop and rest more than once, your calves burning and protesting the many stairs. A few families pass you on their way down, one mother telling you cheerfully that you’re almost to the top. This motivates you to continue, and you press on until you reach the final landing and step through the metal doorway.

The view is absolutely worth it. The beach and the ocean stretch out before you, the town in the distance behind you. Alone at the top, you feel like you’re in your own little world, surrounded by sunlight and the calls of gulls, just you and Chan.

You stand, holding the railing, watching the waves undulate far below you for a long time. “Chan,” you say, and then falter. You don’t know what you were going to say. Some part of you thinks maybe you’d been about to confess, or to finally ask him something to shed light on his feelings.

When he looks at you, expectant, you say only, “Thanks for bringing me here.”

And maybe you did confess something, because he reaches over and squeezes your hand, just once.

And then, he looks over your shoulder and utters, “Uh oh.”

You spin, following his gaze, and echo, “Uh oh.”

Dark grey clouds gather to the west. You remember him saying it was supposed to storm later; it looks like rain will be rolling in soon, ushering in the storms behind it.

“We’d better head down,” he says regretfully, and you follow him back inside.

You make it down and outside before the rain comes, but the sunshine of the morning has gone and left gloomy grey in its wake.

“You think we can make it back to the house?” you ask breathlessly.

Chan checks the time on his phone, already walking brisky back towards the direction of town and your rental. “Maybe,” he says, but he sounds doubtful. “We’ve gotta be quick, though.”

You barely even make it into town; you aren’t even back at the cafe where you’d had lunch before the sky opens. It happens exactly like that - one second it’s not raining, the next second you’re drenched, hair plastered to your face, shirt sticking to your back, spluttering breaths through your mouth like you’re being sprayed with a hose.

You let out a cry of surprise, and then Chan is grabbing your hand and tugging, pulling you off of the sidewalk and into a nearby doorway. You don’t even manage to see what the doorway belongs to - Chan is already pulling it open, his hand still in yours as he leads you inside.

It’s dark, and it takes your eyes a minute to adjust as you wipe rain away from your eyes and shake droplets off of your arms. Beside you, Chan is doing the same, running a hand through his soaked hair and huffing out a noise of disbelief.

“That,” you say, “was bonkers.”

You seem to be in a dimly-lit dive bar, the kind that only locals go to. It’s pretty empty, since it’s early afternoon on a weekday, so when Chan raises a soggy, questioning eyebrow at you, you shrug and follow him towards the bar. Why not?

You take a seat wearily, and pull out your phone.

“We’ve got almost an hour until everyone is supposed to be back,” you inform him.

“In that case,” he says, and when the bartender meanders over, he orders you a row of shots to share.

You clink shot glasses for the first one, but after that you turn it into a game.

Chan narrows his eyes at you, mock-thoughtful. “What would you do if you woke up and your hands and feet had switched places?”

After answering (use my toes to order an Uber to the hospital), you volley with, “What would you do if aliens invaded tomorrow?”

Back and forth the game goes, punctuated by shot glasses being emptied and returned to the bar. What would you do if you woke up married in Vegas? … What would you do if you woke up one day and could only speak in rhyme? … What would you do if you were suddenly allergic to your favorite food? … What would you do if you were forced to join the circus?

You’re both laughing deliriously. Chan is wiping under his eyes in mirth, and you’ve hunched over so far that you find yourself with your hands on his knees, using him to stay upright on your barstool. Your surroundings have faded into colors and muted sounds with the alcohol in your system. All you can focus on is Chan, warm and solid under your palms, his eyes on you, the sound of his laugh cutting straight through the fog.

Then his next one isn’t so funny. “What would you do if you found out you only had a day to live?” he asks, and despite the seriousness, one last chuckle rumbles through his chest, like an aftershock.

Tell you. Tell you the truth.

You swallow. You take your hands off of his knees - you’re not sure he even noticed them there - and flex your fingers. And then, filter demolished by both alcohol and the sheer amount of time it’s been keeping you in check, you break.

Instead of answering, you fire back your own. “What would you do if I came onto you right now?”

Chan blinks at you, eyes as wide as you’ve ever seen them. He blinks twice more, and then his mouth opens. Your heart pounds.

“I’d - I - I guess, I’d probably kiss you,” he says, voice suddenly hushed, as if he’s a little unsure if he’s supposed to be honest or if the game is still a string of jokes.

You stare back. The two of you are frozen, both a bit wide-eyed, like neither of you is sure how you ended up like this.

Then, you breathe, “Okay, then do it.”

He nods immediately, breath coming sharply, and shifts closer on his seat. You feel like you’re holding your breath, waiting. Tentatively, he reaches up, brushes your jaw with his thumb.

Beside you, your phone blares to life on the bar. You both jump, startled out of the moment.

“Ruby,” you tell him hollowly. His hand still hovers near your face, but he nods, pulling it away. You feel like you can barely breathe as you slide your thumb to take the call.

“Hey,” you say into the phone, your eyes on Chan.

“Hey,” Ruby says, “where are you guys? Our thing ended early because of the rain so we’re back at the house.”

“Oh,” you say, trying hard to focus on her voice in her ear and not what just almost happened. “We’re in town. At… a bar? We came in to get out of the rain.”

“Perfect,” Ruby says. Across from you, Chan is rubbing his hands down the tops of his thighs, like they’re sweaty. You wonder if he’s nervous. “We’ll get changed and come get you guys in the car, and then we can go grab dinner together.”

You agree and hang up, then repeat the plan to Chan, who nods. He looks how you feel - a bit shell-shocked, a bit uncertain.

“We need to sober up,” you say. “Or, at least, I do.”

“No, me too,” he says, shaking his head. He sighs, and he might as well have said, goddamn Ruby. You hear it all. Then he seems to give himself a shake, orders you each a water, and asks to close his tab.

“They’re just up the street,” you tell him when Ruby’s text rolls in a bit later.

He nods, uncharacteristically quiet. You wish you could peek inside his brain and see what’s going on in there.

“Hey,” you say, and his eyes snap to you, that open look you know so well on his face. Your voice softens, and you resist the urge to reach out and touch his hand when you continue. “Here’s what I don’t want to happen - I don’t want Ruby to sniff out that something’s going on and interrogate me before we can… talk, ourselves. So let’s pull it together, and get through dinner, and then we can…”

We can what? Pick up where we left off?

He nods anyway, even though you’d left the thought unfinished. “You’re right,” he says.

And, somehow, you do. You both pull it together, rush through the pouring rain from the bar to the open car door. You smile and tease and laugh through dinner, like nothing had happened at all.

You feel relieved, in the back of Ruby’s car, as you all make your way back to the house. You did it - you got through dinner unscathed. Now you can go inside, and have some privacy, and talk and maybe figure out -

“Did you guys know the rental has a hot tub?” Chan asks, and you turn to look at him, baffled.

“It has a what?” Ruby gasps.

“Yep,” he says cheerfully, like he hasn’t just shattered your dream of getting a moment to yourselves. “It’s under the deck. Which means - hey! - it’s covered! We could totally go in, we wouldn’t even be in the rain.”

“That sounds great, actually,” Lara muses.

You say nothing, but when he catches you looking sideways at him, Chan sends you a wink, quick as lightning. You feel your face go puzzled, and he smiles and looks away, giving you no answers.

You’re somehow the first one to get changed and outside; it’s still pouring rain and you cover your head with your towel as you make your way down the steps and under the deck where some drips make it through, but you’re mostly out of the rain. A quick sweep of the area with your phone’s flashlight shows that there’s a string of the same lights down here as above on the deck, and you hurry to plug them in. Now that you can see, it’s actually kind of cute under here.

You unsnap the first strap for the lid, and jump when a pair of hands reaches next to you for the second one. You hadn’t heard Chan approach, but you silently accept his help as you push the lid up and off. You watch him out of the corners of your eyes to see if he’s going to say anything, address it at all. When it seems like he’s not, you turn to climb up the little set of steps, resigned.

His hand closes around your wrist, stilling you. He gives the tiniest of tugs and you relent, turning around. He gives you another tiny tug - you could resist if you wanted to, but you don’t, you don’t, you don’t. You let the tug pull you closer and look up at him, waiting. He kisses you quickly, firmly, close-mouthed for now but sure, his hands forming loose loops around each of your wrists as if he might want to tug you into place again.

The sliding glass door above you slides open and you step away, heart racing.

“Later,” he says quietly, and then you don’t get another second alone, Mingyu and Soonyoung’s voices bouncing through the space as they clamber down the deck stairs.

You climb into the warm water and choose a spot. Chan follows and sits a few solid feet away from you. You try not to look guilty when the other guys round the corner.

“Brought you a beer,” Mingyu says, reaching the extra can towards you.

“You are a legend,” you tell him gratefully.

Chan frowns, and for a crazed second you think maybe he’s jealous that Mingyu did something nice for you, but then he whines, “You didn’t bring me one? Hyung.”

“Calm your ass down,” Mingyu says, climbing into the water and finding a seat. You’re instantly more crowded, just from the sheer amount of space his long legs take up. “Soonyoung has yours.”

You snicker a little, and Chan gives you a light kick under the water. Above you, you hear the door slide open again, and a minute later Ruby and Lara appear beneath the deck, sheltered from the rain by Ruby’s towel.

“Oh,” Ruby says, surprised. “It’s not bad under here!”

“It’s cute, right?” you agree. “Still getting a few raindrops, though.”

“Eh, we’re in water anyway,” Soonyoung says easily, reaching up a hand to help steady Lara as she climbs in.

It’s crowded, and Chan’s two-feet-away doesn’t last. Instead, you’re crowded together, just inches apart. Ruby leans over the edge and turns on the jets, the top of the water creating a frothy layer.

“This is nice,” Lara says happily, closing her eyes and leaning against her boyfriend’s shoulder.

“It is,” you murmur, sipping at your beer. Under the cover of the jets’ bubbles, something touches your hand. Someone’s hand touches your hand. Chan’s hand touches your hand.

Your heart lurches. You beg your face to behave and give nothing away. And ever so slowly, you turn your hand over.

He doesn’t look at you, keeps his eyes on Soonyoung, who’s telling a story animatedly on the other side of the jacuzzi. But his fingers lace between yours, and his thumb brushes along the back of your hand, slow and tantalizing.

You’ve never been so undone by hand holding in your life.

You try to breathe. You sip casually at your beer and interject into the conversation when you can. You laugh at the jokes and look at whoever is speaking. You have no idea what the conversation is about. You hold onto Chan’s slender fingers like he’s a lifeline, like if you let go he’ll slip away, again and for good.

Later, he’d said, and his voice echoes in your head as you pray for later to be now. And finally, blessedly, Lara finally yawns, loud, and starts making moves to get out and head in. Which means so does Soonyoung. Then Mingyu lifts a hand from the water and examines his fingers, complaining, “I’m all pruny.” Chan gives your hand a squeeze and lets you go, reaching for his beer nonchalantly, watching Ruby and Mingyu carefully. You know you’re both waiting, impatiently, for them to leave you alone.

Leave, you silently beg, still trying to appear as casual as possible. Leaaaaave.

“You staying a little?” Ruby asks you, pausing halfway out of the hot tub.

“Yeah,” you say, trying to force your voice to stay casual. “I slept pretty late this morning - I’m not really tired yet.”

“Not all of us got up for sunrise yoga,” Chan says dryly, and Mingyu laughs, reaching for Ruby’s hand, clearly wanting to get inside.

“Okay, then,” Ruby says, her eyes still on you. “See you in the morning then.”

“Bye,” you tell her, and you have to fight the giggle out of your voice. You can’t help it - you feel giddy, nearly bouncing with excitement. You and Chan have been skirting the brink of something all day and you’re finally standing on the cusp of it, toes curled over the edge, ready to dive.

The second you hear the sliding door above you close, Chan’s hand is on your wrist again, pulling much more insistently than he had earlier in the day. Surprised, you let him tug you onto his lap, settling with your thighs bracketing his own, his hands wasting no time in finding your hips and pulling you more firmly against him.

His mouth is on yours, as insistent as his touch. You answer him readily, nearly sighing into his mouth as you get something you’ve wanted for years. You skate your hands up his chest and bring your arms around the back of his neck. He tips his head back a little, his hands sliding up your back, and the change in angle makes you sigh again.

“Thought they’d never leave,” he mutters against your jaw, and you let out a quick huff of a laugh before your breath leaves you entirely as his teeth nip a line down your neck, tongue and lips soothing behind each quick sting.

You chase his mouth, wanting him back, and he groans quietly when he realizes - like you wanting to continue kissing is just as good as actually kissing. But nothing is as good as the kissing, not if anyone asks you, nothing is as good as his tongue against yours, his teeth gentle on your lips, his hands clutching at your back and your arms and your hips like he can’t pick a favorite.

His hands roaming your body ignite you. You become only aware of their migration as they map the width of your shoulders, survey the dip of your waist, skate over your ass, then repeat the expedition. Your fingers have found his hair, curled up and held tight. He takes your hips in his hands and shifts you on his lap, causing you to tug slightly, and his exhale holds just the slightest hint of a whimper. You almost unravel, right there.

The shifted position also makes it absolutely unignorable that Chan is hard beneath you, and you can’t - don’t even try to - stop yourself from pressing yourself closer, your hips rolling almost involuntarily as soon as you feel him. Chan gasps at the sudden friction, his eyes squeezing shut for a second, like he’s already going under. Then his hands - frozen on your hips while his brain rebooted - come back to life, slipping up your ribs to cup both of your breasts over your bathing suit, giving one slow knead to both in tandem. You moan, low, unable to stop it, and he responds almost instantly, letting out an audibly shuddering breath.

He surges upwards to kiss you again, one thumb still rubbing circles against your hardening nipple, the other hand trailing back down your side and gripping your waist, holding you in place. You continue to move against him, his mouth hot against yours, the water bubbling around you and surrounding you in mist.

Chan’s nimble fingers leave your chest and work their way down between your bodies, pausing at the edge of your bathing suit bottoms. He looks up at you, pupils blown, panting out controlled little breaths like he’s fighting to keep himself in check.

Eyes unwavering on yours, watching your reactions closely, he slips his fingers between your legs, pressing the material against you, sliding down your slit and back deftly. His cock kicks beneath you when you whine. His gaze on you feels charged, almost like a challenge.

And then you’re blinded by a flash, followed almost instantly by an alarming crack of thunder.

“Fuck,” Chan hisses, twisting to peer out towards the ocean, his hands finding your hips again as if by instinct. “The storm.”

“Guess we have to head in,” you say, and it comes out wispy and breathless. Your legs feel like jelly and he’s barely even started.

“Yeah,” he says, the single syllable tight. He adjusts himself as you vacate the water, the rain beyond the safety of the deck seeming to redouble its efforts. You both hurry to turn the jets off and replace the cover, then stand at the edge of the dry space, looking out at the raging rain.

As hot and heavy as things were only a minute ago, you feel oddly still now, staring out at the storm. Chan places your towel over your shoulders.

“Thanks,” you say quietly, looking sideways at him.

“Ready?” he asks you, and you think he means ready to brave the storm. But your heart is answering another question - are you ready to continue, ready to move forward with him, ready to give life to something that has remained only a daydream in your mind?

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly.

He slips his hand into yours. “I’ve got you,” he promises.

You move quickly but carefully through the rain, eyes on your feet as you take the slippery wooden stairs up the deck and towards the house. Chan doesn’t let go of your hand until you’re inside, sliding the door shut behind you. The house is dark and quiet, lit only by a single light above the kitchen sink. You both stand near the door and try to dry off, but your towels got soaked by the rain and don’t do much good.

“Come on,” Chan whispers. “There are fresh towels upstairs.”

You follow him through the house, up the stairs and down the darkened hallway. Chan pauses at the linen closet, pulling out two fluffy towels. You lead him into your shared room, closing and locking the door behind you as he clicks on one of the lamps.

Chan comes back into your space quietly, wraps you both in his towel, the spare forgotten on top of your dresser. You’re pressed tight together, warm in his arms. He presses his lips to the top of your head, leaving them resting there, just holding you. The moment is soft, heavy, a stark contrast to the lightning physicality of what happened outside. Something about the intimacy of it makes you feel hesitant.

“You okay?” he asks, pulling away a little to look at you.

“Yeah,” you breathe back. Your heart is racing. But it’s Chan. It’s Chan with his arms around you, and Chan who was kissing you and touching you, and - it all feels like something you aren’t allowed to have. “Just… maybe we shouldn’t?”

“We don’t have to,” he says immediately, shifting backwards and loosening his arms around you, giving you the option of pulling away if you want it. “We can do whatever you’re comfortable with. If you want to just go to bed… or if you want me to take the couch tonight, I can -”

“No,” you say quickly, because that’s the opposite of what you want. “No, it’s just… Chan…”

He seems to hear your uncertainty in your voice, his face softening and his arms pulling you back in. “What is it?” he asks quietly, and you slip your arms around his middle, giving in.

“I think I want this a lot more than you do,” you whisper, glad you don’t have to look at him while you say it.

He laughs, and you step back, looking at him quizzically. You’d been afraid of his reaction - of making him uncomfortable, of pushing the line too far. You hadn’t expected laughter.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” he tells you, and you just stare at him, not comprehending. He reaches up, fingers still clutching a corner of the towel wrapped loosely around his back, and brushes a thumb along your jaw. You feel your face warm, but you wait him out. He adds, “I want this… a ridiculous amount. I’ve wondered for a long time if we could… be more.”

He says it like a confession. He says it like he’s embarrassed about it.

“Well,” you say, a fire - a hope - coming back to life behind your ribcage, “maybe we should find out.”

And there it is, that smile that makes the whole world melt away.

The towel drops to the floor, forgotten, and his fingers are at the back of your neck, tugging on the knot that ties your bathing suit top in place. When the material falls away he makes a satisfied noise in his throat as he moves to kiss you again, walking you back towards the bed.

You’d both been eager, but when the mattress hits the backs of your thighs Chan lays you back slowly, almost reverently. He kisses you sweetly, tracing your jaw again, and then lets out another little laugh.

“What?” you breathe, smiling despite being clueless. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing. It’s not,” he says, but he’s still smiling, eyes tracing over your face and body. “It’s just… hard to believe this is real. That it’s you.”

Your breath leaves you. It’s exactly how you’ve felt.

“I know what you mean,” you whisper, and you kiss him again. This time he doesn’t hesitate when his hand slips between your legs, brushing right past your bathing suit and pushing the pads of his fingers into the wet mess he finds there. You shudder an exhale into his waiting mouth as he presses one finger and then a second deep into you, his eyes on you as you arch into the touch.

You let your eyes drift close as he pumps them slowly, and outside the room there’s another flash of lightning chased by the crack of thunder. For a little, there’s only the sound of rain beating against the windows as Chan works little whimpers and half moans out of you.

He switches his angle, something snagging behind your navel, everything beginning to tighten. You gasp his name, and you’re answered by his too-familiar huff of a laugh again.

“What?” you demand through your own smile.

“You say my name like that again and I’m gonna bust,” he tells you seriously. Then he brings his attention back to where his fingers disappear inside you, and his gaze sharpens. “These are in my way,” he murmurs, pulling out of you and reaching for your bathing suit, which had been pushed to the side.

“Yours too, then,” you object playfully, lifting your hips for him as he slides the damp material down your legs. He smiles at you indulgently and shuffles backwards on the back, standing long enough to tug at his swim trunks, letting them drop unceremoniously before crawling back up to you, pressing his mouth to yours and cupping your jaw with one hand, like he’d missed you in the seconds he’d been gone.

“Chan,” you whisper, because you need more of him, because this isn’t enough.

He slides lower down your body, his chest brushing against yours, his lips mapping a path down your sternum, down your belly, pausing near your navel. He looks up at you, all glinty-eyed, that million-dollar smile going slightly sideways, a little mischievous.

“Can I? Please say yes,” he says in a rush, pushing his nose into your lower belly and caressing your inner thighs with his thumbs.

You lean up on your elbows so you can look at him better. Your heart hasn’t stopped racing for a minute. He’s going to give you a cardiac event. “If you want to,” you tell him.

He laughs again, so quiet. “You have no idea,” he says, shaking his head, and then he’s attaching his mouth to you and your arms give out. You eye the ceiling, a strangled moan working up your throat as Chan’s tongue delves into your heat. You squirm, trying to push him deeper. He loops his arms under your legs and then reaches over, his hands pulling you tighter against his chin, both of you working to the same goal.

You hadn’t spent a lot of time imagining how Chan might eat pussy, but you’re surprised that he dives right into fucking you on his tongue, determined and rhythmic. You’d have pegged him for the type to go slow, draw it out, tease and taste and work you up little by little. Instead he grunts in satisfaction, pulls on you hard enough that you wonder if he’ll leave little bruises from his fingertips, and spears his tongue in and out of your hole with abandon, his nose bumping your clit every few thrusts.

You’re a whimpering mess, fighting the urge to roll your hips into his face, one hand slapped over your face to muffle the sound. He shifts, lips working their way up to your desperately pulsating clit, and you feel your whole body seize with the change of sensation, a long, low groan emanating from your chest. He suctions his lips around your clit and sucks gently, then a little less gently, and your feet scrabble against the sheets, trying to find purchase.

His fingers enter you again, his spit and your wetness giving them the perfect slide, and it’s exactly the extra stimulation you need. He only has to pump his wrist twice, that delicious suction steady around your clit, before you’re grasping desperately at him - one hand sliding into his hair and the other finding his wrist and holding tight, which doesn’t stop him at all from pistoning his fingers into that spot on your front wall that has you unraveling faster than you ever have before.

“Fuck, fuck, Chan -” you gasp. Your eyes squeeze shut and your grip on him might actually be painful, a belly-deep ahhhhh ripped from you as the onslaught of sensation sends conscious thought spinning away.

“Shhh,” he soothes, fingers slowly but continuing to work you through it. You whimper, gasp for a breath, the room coming back into view. “Not so loud, baby.”

“God, Chan,” you groan, releasing your hold on him, flexing your fingers.

He grins at you, lightning quick, then kisses the inside of your thigh. “That’s my girl.”

You peer at him, boneless. “You up for more?”

He pushes himself up on his elbows, the triumph not completely melted from his face yet. “I’m up for whatever you want,” he promises. “You’re calling the shots here.”

“Excellent,” you joke. You reach towards him, barely stop yourself from making grabby hands. “Come fuck me.”

He damn near scrambles to obey. He comes up to kiss you, deep and heady, and you hook one of your legs behind him, pulling him closer. The head of his cock slides along your slit and you tilt, trying to get him where you want him.

You look up at him, feeling like he hung the stars, and whisper his name. His answer is a bite of a kiss as he pushes himself into you, stopping only when his hips are flush with yours.

“Shit, you feel so good,” he breathes, eyes closed for a second, as he holds himself over you.

“Please move,” you beg, needing more.

“God,” he groans. “Okay. Okay. I got you.”

And he does. Chan fucks like he moves - quick and precise, each motion purposeful. His eyes have narrowed with focus, brows slightly furrowed with exertion as his hips snap. He slides one hand under you to help lift you, the angle changing just slightly.

“Yeah,” you breathe, desperation lacing your voice. “There.”

The drag of him is delicious, and so is the feeling of his body under your hands, and so is the sound of his ragged breath mixed with occasional gasps and groans. It’s the fact that it’s Chan driving you even higher.

A crack of thunder sounds directly overhead, and Chan takes the moment to roll you over, laying back and letting you straddle his lap without even slipping from inside you. You whine as the new position drives him deeper than he’d been before, your hands splayed over his pecs. He’s breathing rapidly now, struggling to keep his eyes open as he continues to fuck you from below.

“I-I’m - so -” he pants, “close. Really close, baby.”

You lean down to kiss him, his arms coming up around your shoulders to pull you chest to chest until his strokes grow sloppy and his hands tighten on you. You kiss along his jaw sweetly until he releases you with a sigh. He kisses you once more before he pulls out, and then again when he returns from the bathroom with a damp cloth.

“I might need to actually shower,” you muse.

“Yeah, okay,” he says easily, nodding. “Maybe I’ll go after you. I smell like chlorine.”

You shrug. “Might as well just join me. If you want.”

He grins. He follows you into the bathroom, waits with you while the water heats up. And then he fucks you again, against the cool tiles of the shower wall.

Later, back in bed, you face each other through the dark.

“I should have said earlier,” you whisper. “But I’ve liked you for a long time, too.”

His smile makes you feel full of sunshine, even when it’s shy, even when he’s asking what you want to do about it. Especially when he’s asking you, "What are you doing next Saturday?"

Tonight, the decision to cuddle is made while you’re awake. When you wake up in the morning, sunlight streaming through the windows, Chan wastes no time in reaching between your legs, finding you ready, and rolling over top of you, pushing between your thighs before he even has his eyes all the way open.

When you both emerge from your bedroom, stomachs growling and with the beginnings of a caffeine headache, your friends are all sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded with the evidence of a breakfast come and gone. They begin a slow clap, eventually lauding you in a mostly sarcastic but still loving round of applause. 

“It’s about time,” Mingyu grouses. “You two have been circling each other forever.”

“Shh,” you tell him, as Chan slips his arm over your shoulders with a grin. “Not so loud.”

thank you for reading!!! <3

[pucksandpower]

Your Love Is My Drug

Oscar Piastri x Norris!Reader

Summary: Lando’s teammate is behaving strangely, so of course the logical assumption is that Oscar must be on drugs (the truth ends up being so much worse … for Lando)

The McLaren garage buzzes with activity as mechanics scurry about, preparing for the upcoming race weekend. Lando leans against the wall, his brow furrowed in concentration as he observes his teammate from across the room.

Something’s off about Oscar today. Actually, if Lando’s being honest with himself, something’s been off about Oscar for weeks now. The usually composed Aussie seems ... different.

Fidgety.

Distracted.

As if on cue, Oscar lets out another of those odd little giggles he’s been prone to lately. Lando’s eyes narrow.

“Oi, Piastri!” He calls out, striding over to where Oscar is hunched over his phone. “What’s so funny, mate?”

Oscar’s head snaps up, his cheeks flushed a deep pink. “Oh, uh, nothing,” he stammers, hastily shoving his phone into his pocket. “Just ... just a meme.”

Lando raises an eyebrow. “A meme? Since when are you so into memes?”

“I’ve always liked memes,” Oscar protests weakly.

“Right,” Lando drawls, unconvinced. He watches as Oscar shifts uncomfortably, tugging at the waistband of his jeans.

A sudden, horrifying thought strikes Lando. No ... it couldn’t be. Could it?

“Hey, Oscar,” he says slowly, trying to keep his tone casual. “You feeling alright? You’ve seemed a bit ... off lately.”

Oscar’s eyes widen slightly. “Off? What do you mean?”

Lando shrugs, aiming for nonchalance. “I dunno, just ... different. Distracted. You keep laughing at nothing and your face is all red.”

“Oh, that’s ... that’s nothing,” Oscar says, waving a hand dismissively. “Just, uh, excited about the race, I guess.”

Lando’s not buying it. “Excited, huh? Is that why you keep fidgeting with your pants, too?”

Oscar freezes, his hand stilling where it had been absently adjusting his waistband. “I ... what?”

“Your jeans,” Lando repeats, gesturing towards Oscar’s lower half. “You keep messing with them. What’s that about?”

“Nothing!” Oscar yelps, a bit too quickly. “They’re just ... new. Still breaking them in.”

Lando’s eyes narrow further. He remembers something, vaguely, from one of the few health lessons he’d managed to stay awake for back in school. Something about drug users and fidgeting ...

No. Surely not. Not Oscar.

But the more Lando thinks about it, the more it starts to make a twisted kind of sense. The secrecy, the mood swings, the constant flush on Oscar’s cheeks ...

“Oscar,” Lando says, his voice low and serious. “I need you to be honest with me. Are you ... are you on something?”

Oscar’s jaw drops. “What? No! Of course not!”

“Because if you are,” Lando presses on, ignoring Oscar’s protests, “I need to know. As your teammate. As your friend. This isn’t just about you, mate. It’s about the whole team.”

“Lando, I swear, I’m not on anything,” Oscar insists, his voice taking on a pleading edge. “I don’t know where you’re getting this idea from, but-”

“Then explain the giggling!” Lando demands, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “And the blushing! And the fidgeting! Something’s clearly going on with you, and if you’re not gonna be straight with me-”

“I can’t!” Oscar bursts out, then immediately claps a hand over his mouth, looking stricken.

Lando’s eyes widen. “Can’t what?”

Oscar shakes his head, looking miserable. “I can’t ... I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, Lando. I know I’ve been acting weird, but I promise it’s nothing bad. I’m not on drugs or anything like that. I just ... I can’t explain right now.”

Lando stares at his teammate, torn between frustration and concern. “Oscar, come on. We’re supposed to be friends. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Oscar’s phone chimes, and he jumps, fumbling to pull it out of his pocket. His eyes widen as he reads whatever message has just come through, and a small, dopey smile spreads across his face.

“Sorry,” he says distractedly, already typing out a response. “I’ve gotta go. We’ll talk later, yeah?”

Before Lando can protest, Oscar is hurrying out of the garage, leaving Lando staring after him in bewilderment.

“What the hell was that about?” Lando mutters to himself.

He’s still pondering Oscar’s strange behavior when his own phone buzzes. It’s a message from you.

Hey! Surprise — I’m at the track! Want to grab dinner?

Lando grins, momentarily distracted from his worries about Oscar. Absolutely, he types back. Meet you at the hotel in a few hours?

Later that evening, Lando’s sitting in the hotel restaurant, drumming his fingers impatiently on the table as he waits for you to arrive. His mind keeps drifting back to Oscar’s odd behavior, and he’s half-tempted to text you and ask if you’ve noticed anything strange about his teammate lately.

Before he can act on the impulse, you breeze into the restaurant, a bright smile on your face. “Lando!” You exclaim, rushing over to give him a hug.

“Hey, trouble,” Lando says fondly, returning the embrace. “What brings you to the race? I thought you were busy with work.”

You shrug, sliding into the seat across from him. “Oh, you know, just missed my second favorite brother. Thought I’d surprise you.”

Lando narrows his eyes playfully. “I finally won a race and I’m still not your favorite?”

“You can’t win everything,” you say with a grin. “Wouldn’t want your head getting any bigger than it already is.”

As you settle in and start perusing the menu, Lando can’t help but notice that you seem ... different. There’s a certain glow about you, a sparkle in your eye that he hasn’t seen before.

“You look happy,” he observes. “Something good happen at work?”

You bite your lip, looking suddenly nervous. “Oh, um, not really. Just ... life in general, I guess.”

Lando’s about to press further when his phone buzzes. He glances down to see a message from Oscar.

Hey, mate. Sorry about earlier. Can we talk?

Lando frowns, torn between his curiosity about Oscar’s situation and his desire to spend time with you.

“Everything okay?” You ask, noticing his expression.

Lando sighs. “I don’t know. It’s Oscar. He’s been acting really weird lately, and I’m worried about him.”

Your eyes widen almost imperceptibly. “Weird how?”

“Just ... off,” Lando says, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “He’s all giggly and distracted, his face is constantly red, and he keeps fidgeting with his clothes. I’m worried he might be ... you know ...”

You lean forward, your brow furrowed in concern. “Might be what?”

Lando lowers his voice, glancing around to make sure no one’s listening. “On drugs,” he whispers.

To his surprise, you burst out laughing. “Oscar? On drugs? Are you serious?”

“It’s not funny!” Lando hisses, feeling defensive. “I’m really worried about him. He won’t tell me what’s going on, but something clearly is.”

You sober quickly, reaching across the table to pat his hand. “I’m sorry, you’re right. It’s not funny. But Lando, I really don’t think Oscar’s on drugs. Maybe there’s another explanation?”

“Like what?” Lando demands.

You open your mouth to respond, but before you can say anything, Lando’s phone buzzes again. Another message from Oscar.

I’m in the lobby. Can we talk now? It’s important.

Lando looks up at you apologetically. “It’s Oscar again. He says he needs to talk. Do you mind if I ...”

You wave a hand, looking strangely nervous. “No, no, go ahead. I’ll wait here.”

Lando nods gratefully and heads for the lobby, his mind racing. What could be so important that Oscar needs to talk right now?

He spots his teammate pacing near the elevators, looking agitated. “Oscar?” He calls out.

Oscar’s head snaps up, and Lando is struck again by the flush on his cheeks. “Lando! Thanks for coming. I ... I need to tell you something.”

Lando crosses his arms, trying to look stern despite his worry. “Yeah, I’d say you do. What’s going on with you, mate? And don’t try to tell me it’s nothing, because-”

“I’m dating your sister!” Oscar blurts out.

Lando blinks, certain he must have misheard. “I’m sorry, what?”

Oscar takes a deep breath, steeling himself. “I’m dating your sister,” he repeats, more slowly this time. “Y/N. We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now.”

Lando’s mind goes blank. He opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again. No sound comes out.

“I know it’s a shock,” Oscar continues, words tumbling out in a rush. “And I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. We wanted to make sure it was serious before we said anything. But I really care about her, Lando. And I hope ... I hope you can be okay with this.”

Lando’s brain is still struggling to process this information. “But ... but the giggling,” he manages to stammer out. “And the blushing. And the fidgeting.”

Oscar’s blush deepens. “Ah, yeah. That’s ... that’s because of Y/N. She’s been sending me these ... messages. And pictures. Really cute ones!” He adds hastily, seeing Lando’s eyes widen in horror. “Nothing inappropriate! Just ... you know. Flirty.”

Lando holds up a hand, feeling slightly nauseous. “Please, I really don’t need details.”

“Right, sorry,” Oscar says sheepishly. “Anyway, that’s why I’ve been acting weird. I was trying to keep it a secret, but I guess I’m not very good at hiding how I feel.”

Lando’s head is spinning. His teammate and his little sister. Dating. It’s too much to process.

“Lando?” Oscar’s voice sounds concerned. “Are you okay? You look a bit pale.”

Lando opens his mouth to respond, but the world suddenly tilts sideways. The last thing he hears before everything goes black is Oscar’s panicked voice calling his name.

When Lando comes to, he’s lying on a couch in the hotel lobby, with you and Oscar hovering anxiously over him.

“Oh thank god,” you breathe as his eyes flutter open. “Lando, are you okay?”

Lando groans, pushing himself into a sitting position. “What happened?”

“You fainted,” Oscar supplies helpfully. “Right after I told you about ... you know.”

The memory comes flooding back, and Lando groans again, this time for an entirely different reason. “So it wasn’t a dream, then? You two are really ...”

You nod, looking nervous but determined. “We are. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. We wanted to make sure it was, you know, real first.”

Lando looks between the two of you, taking in Oscar’s anxious expression and the way your hand is clasped tightly in his. Despite his shock, he can’t deny the genuine affection he sees there.

“Well,” he says finally, his voice rough. “I suppose this is better than you being on drugs.”

Oscar lets out a startled laugh. “You really thought I was on drugs?”

Lando shrugs defensively. “What was I supposed to think? You were acting so weird!”

“That’s just because he’s head over heels for me,” you say teasingly, bumping Oscar’s shoulder with your own.

Oscar grins dopily, and Lando has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. “Clearly,” he mutters.

There’s a moment of awkward silence before you speak up again. “So ... are you okay with this? Us being together?”

Lando looks at you, his beloved little sister, then at Oscar, his teammate and friend. He sees the happiness radiating from both of you, the way you lean into each other unconsciously.

He sighs dramatically. “I suppose I’ll have to be,” he says, unable to keep a small smile from tugging at his lips. “But I swear, Piastri, if you hurt her-”

“I won’t,” Oscar interrupts, his voice firm and sincere. “I promise, Lando. I’ll take good care of her.”

Lando nods, satisfied for now. “Good. And for the love of all that is holy, please keep the flirting to a minimum around me. I really don’t need to see that.”

You and Oscar laugh, the tension finally breaking. As Lando watches the two of you together, he can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this might not be such a bad thing after all.

But he’s definitely going to need some time to get used to it. And possibly some therapy.

[brokenmenswhore]

I hate to do asks but like just imagine this! At hogwarts there is a group that’s kinda like a polyamorous relationship but just for s*x and it’s like slytherin and gryffindor students and they decided they wanted someone from like a year younger so they start to slowly talk to innocent reader to get them comfortable around them before starting to get touchy with her (maybe she is a hufflepuff? That’s my house)

i’m a hufflepuff too 🫶🏻 thanks for feeling comfy enough to send me this ask if you don’t usually like doing that!

a proposition | poly!marauders

#1

pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader (james, remus, and sirius, featuring alecto, dorcas, evan, lily, and mary)

warnings: none!

a/n: i don’t even realize my sirius favoritism until i proofread a poly story and i’m like damn okay then WHORE

a proposition: masterlist

────── ☾ ──────

Everyone knew about it.

Even though it wasn’t spoken of in the presence of the students not involved, everyone knew about it.

It wasn’t exactly a polyamorous relationship, because a relationship implies more than just physicality, which is what it was. It was purely for sex.

It was started, of course, by Sirius Black. He had a casanova reputation, and after a while, he started looking to the same group of girls when he was in the mood. His best friend, Remus, unknowingly slept with quite a few of the same girls, and a lot of those girls slept with each other.

James didn’t have as much sex as his two best friends, but he quickly became involved. After a while, a group was established.

All of the students involved knew one another well, and were all somewhat close friends that had not romantic desires toward one another, but unashamed lust. It was a sex positive group, and was essentially just a group of students who fucked each other whenever.

Despite the unofficial, non-relationship standing, they all agreed to only have sex with each other. If they wanted to add someone into the group, they all had to agree to it. So, in a way, it was a relationship, but, in a way, it wasn’t. There wasn’t really a label on what it was, but it worked for them.

Everyone in the group was in the same year at Hogwarts, so they all related to each other well.

However, a few of them began to crave something new- someone not so in line with everyone.

Everyone sat in the Gryffindor common room at an hour late enough that most others were asleep. James sat on the floor, his back resting between Dorcas’s legs as she played with his hair, tying small braids from the curly strands.

“We wanna bring something up,” James said.

“We’re doing we’s now?” Sirius scolded, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“I just mean, there’s something Dorcas and I talked about, and now I’m talking about it with all of you,” James clarified.

“Fair enough, what’s up?” Mary asked.

“I’m wondering how everyone here would feel about inviting someone new into the group.”

Everyone looked around the room at one another, attempting to gage the energy of everyone else before speaking their own opinions.

“I vote we should bring in someone younger,” Evan added.

“Younger like what? Like wouldn’t that be weird?” Remus asked.

“No, idiot, like a year under us,” Evan retorted.

“Where the fuck are we gonna find someone a year younger than us who would be down to do this?” Mary questioned.

Sirius flicked a spark off of his cigarette, clearing his throat and sitting forward a bit. “I have someone in mind.”

“Has everyone been trying to scope out prospects? Am I the only one who hasn’t thought about inviting in anyone new?” Alecto asked.

There was another shared look, and everyone shrugged. They had all thought about a change.

“Who’d you have in mind, Sirius?” Dorcas brought the attention back to his statement.

“There’s this hufflepuff a year below us, seems super innocent though,” Sirius said, taking a quick hit of smoke, “blushes every time I look at her.”

“Is she hot?” Remus asked.

“No, I’m proposing we all fuck her because she’s not hot,” Sirius snapped, his voice laced with evident sarcasm.

Sirius told them your name, and a few of them already knew who you were.

“She’s super cute!” Dorcas exclaimed, “I’m super down for that. Anyone disagree?”

Everybody was on board with the idea.

────── ☾ ──────

“Go on, then.”

James turned to Sirius and Remus, saying, “why does it have to be me? You go do it.”

“Fine,” Sirius replied, “Remus, go talk to her.”

Remus threw his hands up. “What happened to being set on making James do it?”

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. “She’s not gonna be sitting at that table forever. You nervous or somethin’?”

“No,” Remus quickly replied, “this is just, I don’t know, weird.”

“How’s it weird?”

“Because I’m about to go interrupt the poor girl in order to talk to her with the intention of later asking her to fuck me and all my friends,” Remus explained, “I don’t know, it’s just a weird thing to do.”

“Fuckin’ hell, I can’t stand you two,” Sirius said, flicking a spark off of his cigarette and walking over to you. He sat down across the table from you, watching you intently as you scribbled notes off a textbook.

You didn’t look up because you didn’t even consider that he was sitting near you for a reason.

“Hey.”

You looked up, and Sirius was looking directly at you. The familiar tint of red crept into your cheeks. “Hi.”

He took a drag of his cigarette, kicking his feet up onto the table. “Seen you around quite a bit.”

You couldn’t help but stare at his lips as they wrapped around the cigarette.

“We do go to the same school,” you quipped, smiling to show it was lighthearted.

Sirius smirked, happy you were responding well to him. “I usually don’t get on with anyone that isn’t in my year.”

“Why talk to me then?” you asked.

“Don’t know,” Sirius said, swinging his feet off the table and leaning his torso over the table a bit, “guess somethin’ just caught my eye.”

He knew his flirtations would make you blush, and they did just that. You smiled as you tilted your head back down, pretending to look over your notes in an attempt to calm yourself.

Sirius’s smile only widened watching you squirm under his gaze. “Whatcha studying?”

“Fwoopers,” you responded, “but understanding seems to evade me sometimes.”

“You know who’s super smart? My friend James.”

“Wh-“ before you could even stop him, Sirius signaled over James, who approached you with Remus in tow.

“This is James, James, say hi.”

James sighed. “I’m not a dog, Sirius, unlike some people.”

“Funny,” Sirius retorted, “do you think you could help my new friend with some Care of Magical Creatures work?”

“Oh, I don’t- I’m all good, I-“

“Course,” James lit up, sitting down directly next to you, “lemme see.”

He pulled the textbook toward him, familiarizing himself with what you were reading as Remus took a seat next to Sirius.

You watched a few girls walk past your table, shooting you dirty looks when they noticed that the boys were otherwise occupied with you. Sirius, Remus, and James has grown to be quite popular, and them speaking with a random, younger Hufflepuff was odd. Remus noticed your shift in energy.

“You alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I just- I’m a year under you, I can’t do your schoolwork for you or anything.”

Sirius furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why would we want you to do our schoolwork?”

“I don’t know, is that not why you’re all talking to me?”

James diverted his attention from your textbook, looking at you in understanding. He felt a pant of guilt for springing everyone on you at once, and a pang of sadness for the fact you didn’t think they would actually want to talk to you just because.

“You forget James is top of his class,” Sirius said, but James didn’t think the mood called for quips. He shot Sirius a look, taking over the conversation.

“We’re sorry if we came off a little strong,” he started, “we all just wanted to say hey. We see you around a lot and think you’re cute, it’s as simple as that.”

“Oh,” you said, suddenly turning weak.

Sirius was smiling and relaxing back into the chair, amused to high hell with how innocent and blushy you were from such a small little compliment. He was so happy he suggested you.

────── ☾ ──────

The following day, Remus and Lily caught you walking down a corridor during your free period.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” you asked, directing the question toward Remus as they caught up to you.

“Didn’t feel like going,” Remus said, nonchalant.

“You can’t just not go,” you laughed, assuming he wasn’t serious.

“Be careful with this one,” Lily said to you, gesturing to Remus, “he’s a horrible influence. You wouldn’t have caught me dead skipping a lecture last year. He can be very persuasive.”

Something about the way she said it made you swallow hard, suddenly extremely aware of your presence and appearance.

“I’m Lily,” she finally introduced herself, throwing a piece of hair behind her shoulder. She was beautiful, and you became self conscious in her vicinity.

You didn’t respond, just smiled, so she took the opportunity to continue. “My friends and I are all headed to Hogsmeade later. You’re welcome to join if you want!”

“You’d want me to join?” you questioned.

“Don’t be silly, why not? Remus will be there too, and a ton of other really cool people.”

You contemplated your options. You had no reason to believe that Remus and Lily were not genuine in their invitation, and you were excited at the prospect of new friends. “Sure,” you responded.

Lily squealed and gave you a small hug. “I’ll go tell everyone you’re coming!”

“Why would you need-“

“Bye!”

Lily scrambled off down the hallway, leaving you alone with Remus.

“She tends to get excited,” Remus explained, “she’s the friendliest people-person I know. Can get quite annoying, actually.”

You giggled at his statement, and he took the opportunity to brush his hand against yours. You took it as an accident, so you didn’t even react, but then he intertwined his fingers with your own.

You didn’t retract your hand, but instead looked to where yours met his, and then looked at him. He continued looking forward, walking alongside you and not acknowledging what he did. He wanted to see if you would pull away on your own, but you didn’t. It felt comfortable.

You got ready for your trip with your new friends alone, since all of them were in Gryffindor or Slytherin and stuck to their respective common rooms. You caught Lily and Mary outside of their common room, and you walked with them down to Hogsmeade.

Now that you were outside of the castle walls, you noticed a shift in how everyone acted with one another. They were all very touchy, making sexual innuendos at each other and allowing themselves to have fun without restriction.

You followed as they immediately went to Honeydukes. Alecto informed you that Sirius had a serious sweet tooth, and always made everyone go there as the very first stop on their trips. No one complained, though, because they all wanted to anyway.

As you all exited the shop, Dorcas made a show of sucking her lollipop, staring Evan in the eyes as she did so. You felt your cheeks go hot, almost feeling like you saw something you shouldn’t have.

The next stop was the Three Broomsticks, and James saw your confusion as you reached the entrance.

“You okay?” he asked you.

“Yeah, just- didn’t you all just get a whole bunch of sweets?”

James laughed, “and?”

You smiled toward him. “Fair enough.”

“We don’t like to shy away from the pleasure of life, darling,” Dorcas said, imitating a very english accent. Everyone laughed in unison at her impression.

You all crowded around a table, and you remained silent, your hands in your lap for fear of obstructing the space Sirius had to your left and Mary had to your right.

You listened intently as everyone joked and talked about their current courses and professors, when suddenly a question was directed at you.

“So tell me, which professor do you like the least? I just know it’s Professor Bins. I mean, you’re crazy if you don’t say Bins,” Lily said.

“If I had to pick, sure,” you said.

“He’s never done anything to drive you crazy?”

“I mean, there was this one time he assigned so much work over the holiday that someone threw a desk out the window,” you started.

“Wait what? What exactly happened?” Lily asked, enthusiastic that you were finally opening up.

“It was just all textbook readings and analysis, especially about the Ministry and MACUSA and all that, and he said it had to be done by the time we came back from holiday. A few students protested, and he just got more and more angry until someone stood up, picked up a desk, and chucked it out the window. It happened so fast I don’t think anyone had the time to levitate it before it hit the ground.”

Everyone chuckled at the story, and you felt at ease now that you were becoming more and more comfortable with the group.

“And did he…”

“Faint from sheer stress? Oh absolutely,” you added, smiling as you spoke, your posture adjusting to mimic your growing comfort.

You didn’t catch it, but Sirius and Remus exchanged a look, nodding their heads upward at one another as Sirius gently placed his hand on your thigh.

Your body jolted a slight bit as you flinched, startled by the unfamiliar feeling. Sirius immediately pulled his hand away, but you turned to him, and spoke low enough that only he could hear. “It’s okay, you can leave it there.”

Sirius put his hand back, resting it low on your thigh. As time went on, and you continued talking, he began to rub his thumb on your leg. It felt unfamiliar, but soothing and intimate.

Of course you were attracted to the people at the table: they were all insanely attractive and kind to you, but you hadn’t felt this feeling before. Someone was touching you, and so intimately, and it was doing something to you.

Sirius began to slowly creep his hand upward, rubbing your inner thigh under your skirt, only a few inches away from your most sensitive area.

You shuddered and your breathing hitched in your throat, but you didn’t stop him.

You were suddenly snapped back to reality when you noticed everyone watching you. You looked around the table, slightly embarrassed and slightly confused.

“We have a proposition for you,” James said.

[youngheejay]

Broken hearts and noses

Sometimes, you need to get slammed in the face by a door to find your way back into your lover’s arms.

Starring: Jay x fem!reader [established relationship] feat. enhypen members

—————————————————————————

“All you do is work, work, work…” You crossed your arms in a pout and nagged Jay’s ear off as he tried to make some dinner. The emphasis was on tried.

“Please, y/n. Not this again.” He exhaled tiredly.

“What do you mean ‘not this again’? If you would just listen to me I wouldn’t talk about it anymore!”

“Listen to you?? I’m already listening, y/n! What do you expect me to do?? Tell my manager ‘oh by the way, I can’t do the concert because my girlfriend complains about me not spending enough time with her’?” He put the wooden spoon rather harshly on the kitchen counter and started chopping up some vegetables on the cutting board.

“And I’m here with you right now, aren’t I? So I really don’t get why you’re still whining so much.” He uttered roughly.

His words were like a stab in your heart - he wasn’t taking you seriously. The realisation of it made you so upset that the corners of your mouth went down on their own. But you didn’t want to cry. At least not in front of him. Which was really weird - in the last two years you had been dating him, you never had a problem with crying in front of him.

That was before your last fight with him. Which was funnily enough also the last time you saw him, so 2 weeks ago:

~ “Are you seriously crying again about this?! That’s all you can do, right? Crying and getting on my fucking nerves.”

His harsh words surprised you so much that your tears automatically stopped from the shock. Or maybe it was an instant defense mechanism to protect yourself from any other hurtful words from your boyfriend.

Of course you tried to be rational: he was tired from work, y/n. You shouldn’t have brought it up. It was the wrong timing. He just had a fight with his manager and just wanted to have you by his side and didn’t want to hear you also complain. Complain about how lonely and neglected you felt for the last couple of months. Yet again.

And as always he snapped at you and didn’t want to talk about it.

Not only did he not want to talk about your feelings and problems, but he also never talked about his own. Obviously.

He didn’t even tell you what the fight with his manager was about. If you hadn’t pushed him so much to tell you why he was in a bad mood you wouldn’t even had known that he fought with his manager.

He never talked about anything that bothered and worried him. Never. He always said everything was fine - and at the same time his actions and words showed you that he wasn’t fine.

And as always, he regretted how he spoke to you and apologised.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to lash out at you. Let me make it up to you,” he had murmured against your neck as you tried to ignore him.

“Hm?” He left a trail of kisses all over your shoulder and neck, “I didn’t mean it. Please forgive me, my angel.”

His hands wandered under your shirt, caressing your waist and stomach, “you’re my little angel, hm? C‘mon, let me apologise to you, princess.”

And as always, you also didn’t want to fight with him. You hated it.

Hence, you let him make it up. He kissed you and ‘made love to you’ as an apology.

As always.

It was a never ending circle. A new couples tradition since a few months now. ~

It felt like a barbed wire was tightly wrapped around your neck as you tried not to cry. But your eyes expressed everything that needed to be said. Disappointment, anger, heart-ache, desperation. Too bad that he wasn’t looking at you but was rather interested in chopping those carrots into thin slices.

The more seconds you held back your tears the more you felt like a wall was being built between you and the person you loved the most. How could your relationship develop like that?

You watched him for a few moments in complete silence. The way he was cutting the ingredients made it seem like he was in complete peace. That’s what he used to tell you - that cooking brought him peace and a chance to gather his thoughts in his hectic life. Or just to completely shut down from all his problems. Either way, it was his way of dealing with his emotions and troubles. A moment of peace and quiet.

It seems like that this also isn’t a good moment to talk to him about my feelings.

But then your eyes wandered up to his face. His eyebrows were furrowed angrily, his lips in a sulking pout and he was clenching his teeth which was evident because of his prominent jaw.

You quickly realised that he definitely was not coping well with whatever was going on in his head. Your heart clenched at the thought of your boyfriend struggling and keeping everything to himself.

“Babe?” You tried to catch his attention.

Nothing. He didn’t reply to you.

“Jay…” you took a step forward to him as his back was shown to you.

When you realised that he wasn’t going to give you a response you gently put your hand on his arm. He visibly tensed up at that.

“Jay, I-“

“What? What do you fucking want from me, y/n?” He muttered through gritted teeth.

“I just think that-“

“What, y/n? What?!

That I’m making you sad because we never go out on dates?

That I’m neglecting you and you want me to be more present?

That I’m always working and never spending time with you?” He rambled angrily while he kept on chopping the carrots.

You took your hand away timidly - seemingly lost at words.

Jay scoffed as he continued, “I was already working when we two met, y/n! You knew what my profession was and you knew how much I needed to work!”

“Are you saying it’s my fault now?!” You matched his tone in disbelief.

He put the knife roughly away on the counter and turned around, just to shout angrily at your face: “Yes, y/n! You should’ve asked yourself whether you were willing to make this sacrifice or not before you decided to date me! You should’ve thought about whether you could adjust to my lifestyle or not!”

“Are you fucking serious?! When we started dating you always had some time for me! I never thought of this because you didn’t give me a reason to see it as an obstacle!”

“Too bad, y/n! This world doesn’t resolve around you! I can’t manage everything like I did 2 fucking years ago!”

“But WHY??!! WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THE JAY YOU USED TO BE??!!!”

You gave up the fight against your tears and just sobbed loudly. Exhausted, you held your face in your trembling hands and let them catch the rain of your heart.

At one point your body was shaking like a leaf. You hiccuped, and cried and cried.

Jay felt his heart clench - he just wanted to hold you and tell you that everything is going to be alright. But the reality of the situation held him back.

By taking deep breaths you tried to calm yourself down but the cries and sobs weren’t ready to stop yet. After awhile, still hiccuping and sniffling, you straightened up your posture and looked him straight in the eyes:

“You’re right. I- I made a stupid decision back then. Good thing we- we cleared this up.” You tried to sound as sternly as possible while the tears were still streaming down your face.

Jay continued to look at you in fury - or maybe it was confusion. You couldn’t tell the difference.

He shut his eyes in frustration and rolled his head back as he leaned back onto the edge of the kitchen counter - holding it with a firm grip.

“Baby- I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so-“ just as he was about to apologise to you for the nth time because of the same thing, the same fight, the same topic, you quickly interrupted him:

“Save it. You don’t have to apologise when you clearly don’t want to change anything.” You made your way out of the kitchen and wiped away the tears on your cheeks. But the tears continued to pour down the same path you just cleaned up.

You quickly made your way to Jay’s room and grabbed your belongings.

Phone, wallet- you hiccuped - no, it’s in my purse. Where’s my purse?

Your sobs didn’t stop.

Where’s my fucking purse?

You spotted your jacket in Jay’s bed and turned around too quickly with it when you grabbed it.

Crash.

With wide shocked eyes you looked at the frame you accidentally knocked down and broke.

A frame which contained a picture of you two on a random date. One of the many dates you used to have. It was a cute picture. You thought you looked okay in it but Jay swore that your smile was prettiest he had ever seen so he had to frame it and put it on his bedside table.

~ “This way I will never forget your pretty smile and will remind myself to always make you smile like this.”

He explained to you with a shy smile and rubbed his neck in embarrassment when you spotted the picture in his room and asked him about it. ~

This fucking bastard! Fucking liar is he! I should sue him for all these lies!

You angrily started to gather the broken glass and put it in his bin. Not even in the angriest state you could just leave it like that - he could hurt himself. after all.

You didn’t even think about it. You were just doing it.

Your vision was blurry because of your tears so it didn’t really surprise you when you cut yourself. And as fucked up as it sounded - the pain of the cut was more bearable than the pain in your heart.

Lastly, you put the photo in the bin and with that the promise ring you received from him on your two years anniversary. Which was not even too long ago.

Maybe you were overreacting. You still loved and respected him after all so much. So fucking much that you felt your heart shred apart in several pieces.

And you knew he felt the same towards you.

But you also knew that he was having some own problems and didn’t know how to handle them which resulted in him taking it out on you - unintentionally or not, you had enough with these fights.

Thus, you needed to take this step to make a change. Either for the better or the worse. You just really hoped for the better as you saw the ring placed safely in the corner of the bin.

Hopefully, he’ll find it and come back to his senses.

You were hesitant to leave the ring there, scared he might throw away his trash and not notice it.

No, it’s okey. If we make up, we’ll do it quickly. He won’t empty his bin till then.

The ‘if’ in the sentence lingered longer in your mind than you would’ve liked.

You then quickly made your way into the bathroom which was directly connected to his room and washed your cut clean. After you wrapped some toilet paper around it as a quick solution you walked back into his room, holding your jacket in your other hand.

Surprisingly, you spotted Jay there. Kneeling in front of the bin, he (fortunately) held the ring and the photo in both of his hands.

But when he turned his head around, showcasing you his misty eyes, all you could see was a small, hurt child. A child who didn’t know what to do with these adult problems and responsibilities, who was overwhelmed and just wanted to be held, who wanted to cry without feeling bad about it, without worrying his loved ones.

He looked so vulnerable in that moment.

Your actions halted - you wanted to wrap him in his arms and tell him that everything is going to be okay. But you knew this wasn’t the right move.

Then, without a word, you marched out of his room.

Jay was startled: “B-babe!”

He quickly stood up after hastily putting the picture on his bed and stuffing the ring securely in his pocket.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

Of course, you didn’t respond to him as you firmly went to the front door where your shoes were, right next to his larger ones. You quickly went on to put on your jacket when you remembered that your purse was in the living room.

Just as Jay was about to grasp your arm you quickly escaped his reach and walked back right past him as if he didn’t even exist.

When you entered the mess of the living room you thought how clean Jay’s room always was.

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about him! Stop thinking about him! He’s being a jerk right now!

“Baby, hold on!” Before you could react he held your wrist firmly: “Are you hurt? Did you hurt yourself with the frame?” He carefully examined your hand and noticed how the toilet paper was stained with blood.

“Wait a minute! I think Sunghoon has some bandage in his room!” He spoke alertly as if you were in some kind of emergency.

Normally, you would’ve giggled at his exaggeration but at this moment his reaction only made your eyes teary.

“Just wait a second, alright?” He put his hands on your shoulders and made you sit on the couch. Then he looked firmly in your eyes, assuring himself that you wouldn’t leave just like that.

But he was wrong. You can’t just wait and forget everything as if you never fought.

He'd come, patch you up, apologise to you and you’d forgive him because he means it. He truly does. But you wouldn’t talk about your issues. You’d just place a bandage on the wound instead of taking care and finding the cause of it.

When you heard him rummaging around in Sunghoon’s room, you took your purse and went again to the front door. Just as you put on your shoes and were about to leave, you heard Jay:

“Don’t go.”

His voice was shaky and full of pain.

“You forgot your ring,” he spoke quietly, afraid to say the wrong thing.

We both know I didn’t forget it.

You didn’t say it out loud.

Instead, you reached for the doorknob when he repeated his plea:

“Please, y/n. Don’t leave me. I beg you.”

His words broke your heart. You took a deep breath as you tried to gather your thoughts.

“I think-“ you were interrupted with a slam in your face.

Tuck.

“Ah!”

“Y/N!” Jay exclaimed affrighted as you dropped your bag and hold onto your nose in pain. He took urgent steps towards you and pulled you carefully into his arms.

“Oh my god! What happened?” Jake asked with a horrified expression.

“You slammed the door in my girlfriend’s face, you fucking idiot!” Jay gritted his teeth in anger.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, y/n!” Jake wanted to approach you to make sure you were alright but Jay wasn’t having any of it.

He firmly stepped in front of you as he still held you safely in his strong, protective arms. His back was now blocking Jake from stepping any closer to you. Like a shield protecting you from any danger.

“Fuck off! Stay away from her, fucking bastard.” He looked at Jake with intense, burning rage, as if he were ready to kill him.

“It was an accident!”

“I don’t fucking care. You hurt her. If you ever get near her I’ll fucking kill you, motherfucker.” He spat back and then turned back to you.

He wrapped his left arm around your waist to give you support as his other hand went to your face to cradle it ever so softly and gently. “My love, let me see if you’re bleeding,” he requested with so much love and care - the complete opposite from how he talked with Jake just seconds ago.

You hesitantly pulled down your hands from your nose to show it to him. Jay exhaled in relief: “it’s not bleeding, don’t worry.” You wanted to point out that he was the one who shouldn’t worry, but then you remembered that you were still mad at him.

“I think you should lie down a bit.” Jake suggested timidly.

“Why don’t you just shut up, fucking bitch?”

“Jay!” You scolded him, “it was an accident, don’t be so harsh.” You unconsciously put your uninjured hand on his chest to calm him down.

“Oh? What happened? Why is Jay hyung calling you a bitch?”

“I opened the door when y/n was just about to leave and it hit her face on accident. He’s acting like I tried to kill her!”

Jungwon shook his head - he was disappointed but definitely not surprised - and looked at you: “are you okey?”

You nodded your head and tried to give him a smile but the expression hurt more than you expected. “Ow!” You held your nose and closed your eyes as tears pricked up from the pain.

Jay alertly clasped your face with his other hand and brushed his thumbs soothingly over your cheeks. “My baby…” he cooed in empathy, “the pain will fade away soon, alright?” He placed a careful and gentle kiss on your forehead.

The love and protection that Jay was providing to you made you forget every bad moment, as nothing but warmth spread through your body. However, as you were about to lean into him, you held yourself back which was not only challenging physically but also emotionally.

“What happened?” You had to stifle a laugh when Sunghoon and Riki entered the dorms and asked the same question in sync.

“Jake hyung hit y/n in the face with the door.” Jungwon answered casually as he handed Jay a cooling pad.

“On accident!” Jake grasped his hair in disbelief.

Riki whistled: “That’s how people die, Hyung!” He knew what he was doing - fuelling the fire intentionally so that Jay would rip apart Jake into pieces.

“Wow. I can’t believe you’re still alive, Jakey. Y/n is his queen - if I were you I wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. He’ll definitely come for you!” Sunghoon joined the teasing.

But Jay wasn’t even listening to them. He was totally focused on carefully placing the ice pack on your nose. “Ouch!”

What a great day! Fight with boyfriend, injured hand and now this.

“I know, baby. Just a little more, okey? It will help soothe the pain.” He kissed your forehead again to let you know he’s there for you. Whilst doing so, he sincerely wished that he could take away your pain. You held onto his wrists, yet again completely unintentionally, as one was still caressing your cheek and the other held the cool pad on your nose.

“Oh my god! Guys, you don’t know what just happened! The head manager was sooo pissed that Jay hyung skipped practice today but then, actually just now in the car, Heeseung hyung talked with Jiwoo Hyung about this whole dating ban-“

Sunoo began his loud chatter even before he entered the dorms since the front door was still widely open and he saw his members standing in the hallway.

Then he cut himself off when Jungwon gave him a stern look.

“What?”

He then looked at his surroundings only to realise that you were also there.

“Oh hi, y/n! You look so stunning today!”

The rest of the boys coughed awkwardly as they face palmed themselves.

You took away Jay’s hands from your face, but still hold onto them tightly, and softly greeted him back. “Thanks, Sunoo. How are you? How was work today?”

After that everything went in a blur. Sunoo chatted with you but you weren’t listening.

What the hell was going on?

Dating ban?

Skipped practice?

What is Jay hiding?

He never skips work. Why did he do that?

You had so many questions but you just stood there completely frozen. Then your world started spinning.

“I’m feeling dizzy…” you weakly informed Jay just in time before your vision turned black and you collapsed right in his embrace.

His arms are so nice and strong. His commitment to the gym is definitely paying off. Good for me. Very good.

This was your last thought before you entered the world of unconsciousness.

—

“What if she’s really dead?” You heard a nervous voice.

“Don’t be stupid, hyung. She’s literally breathing as we talk, look at her chest moving.”

“I’m not looking at her chest! That’s the last thing I should be doing if I don’t want to die at Jay’s hand.”

“Why are you whispering his name?”

“Jungwon, please!” Jake gasped as if Jungwon’s question was absolutely absurd, “did you see how he looked at me?! I almost killed his girlfriend - if he hears me talking about him or y/n he’ll definitely end me.”

“That doesn’t even make sense… if he wanted to kill you he wouldn’t even allow you to be in the same room as her. And besides that, how on earth would he hear you?”

“I don’t know… he probably put a camera here to watch us. His obsession over y/n is a little concerning. But… hmmmm… now that you’re saying it… it is really weird. Why is he letting me stay near her…?"

...

"Oh my god! Maybe that’s just his psychotic game. He wants me to witness her death so I’ll live with this guilt forever. Wow, I have to leave this room quickly.” You heard the scratching of a chair.

“You’re not going anywhere, hyung!” Hit.

“Ouch! Don’t hit me there, my leg muscles are sore from practice.” He sulked childlike.

“Just sit down and wait until Jay hyung comes back.”

Where’s Jay?

“See, that’s what I mean! Isn’t it so weird that he went out himself and told us to watch over her?” Jake asked curiously.

“Definitely. Did you see his face when she fainted? I’ve never seen him like this. He froze just like that… he looked like he was about faint himself.”

“Right? And when he was in shock he was talking to himself, something like ‘it’s my fault’.”

“Hm,” Jungwon hummed, “now that I think of it, it really gets weirder - usually he’s the proactive one. He’s always level headed and knows what to do. But back then we had to move him aside and handle the situation. He didn’t even move for a while.”

“Do you think they had a fight and that’s why he was so shocked? Like, why was she leaving the apartment in first place? He texted us that we should eat dinner outside because he’s cooking for her but did you see the kitchen? He didn’t even start cooking - his utensils and ingredients were laying around so randomly… like he got distracted or was interrupted.

This would also explain why he is making us sit here in case she wakes up - you know, so she wouldn’t be facing him first thing first. And it would also explain why he hadn’t knocked me out yet. He feels guilty.”

You could hear their tiny brains ratter as a moment of silence followed.

“Nah…”

“Nah!!!”

Both of them let out at the same time.

How can someone be so clever yet still so dumb?

Jay is only clever. He is really super smart.

Your heart melted at the thought of him.

“Oh my god! Are you seeing this? She’s smiling!”

You quickly made a neutral expression as you didn’t want to ‘wake up’ yet. You wanted to listen what they had to talk about. These gossiping aunts. And you wanted to wait for Jay.

“Hyung, now you’re just hallucinating. How can an unconscious person possibly be making any expressions?”

“I swear! She just made that smile! You know that smile whenever she looks at Jay!”

“Ohhh, you mean her ‘I’m so stupidly in love’ smile?” You felt your ears heat up in embarrassment.

“Yeah, yeah, that one!”

“Hm… maybe she’s dreaming about him.”

“Or about something that’s factually beautiful.”

Hey! You frowned internally. Jjongie is beautiful.

“Like a flower garden?”

“Or like rainbows and a sunny day.”

“Yeah, or maybe something cute like puppies.”

“Oh my god puppies! That’s so sweet, I wanna see them too.” You could hear Jake’s pout.

Then you heard a soft knock on the door.

Oh! Is that Jay? I should pretend that I just woke up when he comes in!

“I bought these flowers for y/n!” Sunoo exclaimed in excitement.

Oh… it’s just sunoo…

“Look hyung! I got this black plushy cat for y/n!”

And Riki…

Jungwon and Jake bursted out in laughter:

“BWHAAHAGAHAH- that looks exactly like jay hyung!”

“WHAT? His angry eyebrows! They’re like Jay’s!”

“I’ll place it right next to her.”

Aww, my baby Riki.

“And I’ll put these flowers on the nightstand then she’ll wake up to the sweet scent of them.”

Sunoo!!! He’s such a sweetheart, so cute.

“Hyung, you need to put them in water otherwise they’ll wilt too quickly.“

“Nah, she can do it herself when she wakes up. Ugh! How long is it going to take? I think I’ll watch the new episodes of our show so I can threaten her with spoilers and make her do my laundry.” He chuckled evilly.

Sunoo! You felt irritated.

“If she ever wakes up.” Jake corrected him in a matter-of-factly tone.

“What do you mean ‘if’?”

“There’s a high possibility that she’ll never wake up, Riki.” Jake muttered dramatically.

“What?” Stop scaring him! Don’t worry, riki, I’ll wake up soon!

“Nice! I always wanted her beanies!”

Riki!! You tried to calm your anger down.

“Oh my god! You’re a genius! I’ll take her skincare!” You felt your blood pressure rise. Don’t you dare, Kim Sunoo!

Then you suddenly felt the weight of the mattress go down at the foot of the bed.

“She better not wake up anytime soon.” Sunoo mumbled as he put his legs under the blanket and made himself comfortable as he pulled most of the blanket towards himself.

“Hyung! Be careful!” - at least there’s one person in this room who’s worried about me - “Jay hyung will get mad when he sees you sitting there. He strictly forbid it.”

Right. Jungwon is not taking care of me. He’s following his Jay hyung’s instructions!

“Agghhh, this is nice.” Next you felt a heavy weight settle on your legs as Riki was laying horizontally on them.

Ugh, he’s so heavy.

“Hyung knows y/n likes us. We’ll just tell him she wouldn’t have liked it if he scolded us.”

Then he started to roll his back on your legs and used them as some kind of muscle roller.

“That’s right,” sunoo agreed with Riki.

After a few moments of silence - and after Riki moved around on your legs and ultimately decided to sit like Sunoo but on the other side (and stealing more of the blanket than he did) - you finally heard the door open again.

Jay! Your heart started to beat faster.

“Oh you guys are back! Did you get everything for y/n?” Jungwon asked.

“Yeah, Jay went to her apartment on his own and got her necessities meanwhile me and Hoon went to a store.” You heard how Heeseung was placing multiple bags on the floor.

“Wow did you buy everything from the store?”

“Basically, yes. He gave us a list he quickly had written down during the car ride. That man knows his girl.” You heard Sunghoon and his rummaging to which you assumed that he also was setting some shopping bags on the ground.

Exactly, you agreed proudly.

“Or he didn’t know anything and just wrote everything down he once saw in a store.” You ‘accidentally’ kicked your feet and hoped you aimed any body part of Riki.

“Ouch! She kicked me!” Bingo.

But where is Jay?

“And where is he now?” Sunoo expressed the thought that clouded your mind.

After a few silent moments Heeseung sighed softly and finally spoke up: “In the car. He told us to take the stuff to his room and if she’s awake we should text him. He’s probably waiting in the car for the message.”

“I don’t know man. He was acting so weird. Like he was the one at fault. I mean I get it - to see your woman faint like this is probably not easy but… -i don’t know how to describe it- he just was out of it.”

Heeseung hummed in agreement to sunghoon’s observation.

My baby. Your heart broke at the thought of jay sitting alone in the car. What is he doing? He should sit next to you and wait until you woke up! Or even better! He should kiss you awake!

Just as you wanted to speak up you heard the door opening again and finally there was your boyfriend.

“She’s still not awake?” With panic in his voice he entered his room. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to you guys! I’m calling an ambulance.” He announced suddenly.

“Don’t call an ambulance! You have to kiss me awake, you moron!” You shouted in frustration as you suddenly sat up, startling everyone.

“Babe…” Jay’s shoulders visibly relaxed and his eyes were shaky as he looked at you with so much relief.

He quickly made his way towards you and sat on the bed right next to you. Then he pulled you carefully into his warm embrace and nestled his head on your shoulder.

“I was so scared, honey. Don’t ever do that again.” He said with a shaky voice and pulled you as close as possible. And then he started to cry. Loudly.

And of course hearing him cry made you also cry. So you cried just as loudly.

“Why weren’t you here, Jay?! Everyone was in this room except for you! I- I was waiting for you but you were the last person who came into this room!” You wailed as you gripped tightly onto Jay’s shirt.

Jay’s heart broke at this, nevertheless, he started to caress your hair in order to calm you down.

“I’m sorry, princess. I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am,” he whimpered as his tears didn’t seem to stop. “Just please don’t break up with me. I’ll do anything. But don’t leave me.”

“I don’t wanna leave you either, jay! But I can’t keep going on with these fights! You never tell me when something is wrong and you have no idea how devastating that is! It hurts so much knowing you’re in pain but not being able to help you or comfort you in any kind of way! Why even have a life-partner if you don’t want to share your life with your partner?!”

“I’ll- I’ll tell you. Alright, princess? I’ll tell you every little thing from now on. Just promise me you’ll never scare me like this again.” He pulled away slightly and cradled your face in his hands to wipe away your tears with his thumbs.

“O-okey.” You sniffled and nodded a little as your tears were slowly but surely stopping.

You patted his cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt to clean up his wet face when you suddenly heard a light sniffle.

When you looked over your boyfriend’s shoulder you caught sight of sunoo trying to hold back his tears after seeing such an emotional, heart-wrenching and romantic scene in real life.

The realisation settled in that you and your boyfriend shared such an intimate and personal moment with his 6 fellow members. But when you looked around, anticipating teasings and laughter, you were met with nothing but compassion.

They all looked like they were trying to hold back their own tears.

When you looked back at your boyfriend he was already looking at you with so much love and regret. He kissed your forehead: “I’m so glad you woke up,” he mumbled against it.

“Of course I would wake up, idiot!” you giggled a little and it immediately melted his heart.

Then you pouted sadly and hold your nose lightly: “It hurts.”

He widened his eyes in panic, “your nose? I swear to god I’ll kill Jake…” he mumbled under his breath while he examined your nose.

Jake gulped.

“It doesn’t look swollen… but we should go see a doctor, princess.” he firmly decided.

“No, jjongie. I just wanna lie down a bit. Can you get me the cooling aid, please?” Jay hesitated a little as he wanted you to visit the doctor, nonetheless, he didn’t want to argue with you: “Of course, honey. Lie down and rest, hm?”

“Can you lie down with me, please?”

Jay felt butterflies erupt in his stomach, “of course, my sweetheart.” Then he turned around to glare at Jake: “what are you doing, clown? Get her the ice pack, will you?”

“Y-yes, sir.” Jake sprang up from his chair.

“Jay, don’t be so mean to him. He didn’t do it on purpose,” you spoke softly as you patted his chest. Jay responded with a sulking grunt.

Then you looked at Riki and Sunoo who were still sitting on the bed at the other end with squinted eyes: “You should actually talk with them.”

Both of their eyes widened in a comical way.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Riki stuttered with fear loaded in his voice.

“We- we didn’t do anything wrong, hyung!” Sunoo stammered.

“What’s with them?” He looked over his shoulder and then back at you.

“Actually, they were so nice, they got me gifts,” you looked around and found the plushy and the flowers they were talking about, “see, Jay? They took good care of me.”

“Really?” Jay inspected the plushy with suspicion and was surprised at his little brothers.

“Mhm, I heard something - I don’t if I understood it correctly - but something along the lines how they’ll buy me beanies or just in general some branded clothes and accessories and of course some skincare! Oh, and how they’ll go to my apartment and clean it up for me. They even want to do my laundry!”

“Wow, that really doesn’t sound like them,” jay chuckled but then turned around to look at them again. Just in time the two boys switched their facial expressions from unpleasant to happy ones.

“Thanks guys. I really appreciate it.”

They gave him a forced smile. Jay rose his eyebrow expectingly: “her apartment key is in my jacket pocket- you can go now and clean it up. I’ll join you.” They started to climb out of his bed whilst rolling their eyes secretly.

“No, jjongie! Let them do it!” You gave him your best puppy look. Sunoo rolled his eyes harder than before.

“But-“

“No buts! We still need to talk.” You gave him a stern look.

Jay looked at your cute expression - he’d be an idiot if he refused you. “Of course, my love,” he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Then just go and I’ll check tomor-“ he looked around and realised that everyone left already and that the cooling aid was laying on the ground at the swell of the door frame, “-row…”

“When did they even leave?” Jay mumbled as he stood up to pick up the cool pad and closed his door. After wrapping it up in a thin towel, he went back to the bed where you were already lying and made some room for him. He joined you in the bed and gently laid the pad on your nose. You sighed in relief: “This is nice…”

Jay kissed your forehead and cradled you in his other free arm. “Come here,” he mumbled. You took the cool pad from his hand to press it on your own, when you asked curiously: “what did you buy for me?”

“Oh, that?” He looked over his shoulder where the bags were, “just some stuff for my princess.” he cheekily answered. You swatted at his chest, surpressing your smile, but he quickly caught your hand and pressed a kiss on the palm before resting it on his chest and pulling you closer. You felt him caressing your ring finger, when you heard him shakily breathe in: “babe…?”

Hearing his serious tone you put the cool pad away and looked him in his eyes, you hummed: “yes, darling?”

He squeezed your hand lovingly as he felt his stomach churn anxiously: “Can you please wear the ring again? It feels heavy in my pocket.” And in my heart.

You smiled at him softly: “Of course, my love.”

Letting out a shaky breath, he speedily and clumsily pulled out the ring from his pocket and immediately slid it on your ring finger.

He lingered a kiss on it: “I’ll make sure you never take it off again. Only if I replace it with an engagement ring.”

You grinned widely, blushing, “I’d love that actually.”

Jay leaned in to kiss you but you quickly blocked him by putting your hand in front of his lips. “Why?” He tilted his head and looked at you with sad eyes. You almost caved in.

“First talk, then kiss. We’re not doing any kind of lovemaking - and you know what I mean by that - until you explain to me what’s going on,” you declared sternly, “and until then I’m still mad at you and won’t speak to you otherwise.”

“Okey, okey. I’ll explain,” he replied to you swiftly and wrapped his arms securely around you to make sure you won’t go anywhere.

And then he started to explain. And you didn’t say anything until he was done.

—

“So, just because of Jungwon’s dating scandal your head manager banned everyone from dating?” You summed up the whole complicated tension in the company, which had been going on for a few months now. You tried to process the information. “I can’t even comprehend this. That’s so unfair.” Your heart felt heavy.

“I know…” he agreed with a sad tone.

“Now I can actually understand why you wouldn’t tell me this. If I were you I probably also wouldn’t have.”

He sighed with a heavy heart: “but still… I failed miserably at hiding it from you. I mean it totally affected my mood. I should’ve just talked with you about it.”

You patted his cheek: “It’s okey, honey. It’s now in the past. We’re letting this chapter of our relationship go and are looking forward, alright?”

He gave you a cute little nod but one look in his eyes told you everything. How much he regretted these fights and his harsh words to you. It was impossible to express it with words.

“Babe… why are you looking like a sad puppy? It’s okay, every relationship has its ups and downs. That’s actually a good thing. That way you can see whether a relationship is healthy or not. Whether the two partners are aligned with each other or not. Look at us: we’re talking about it and are going through this together. The important thing is that we’re making progress together, right? And that we’re learning from our past mistakes together. It’s also a testament to our commitment.“

He responded again with a nod, not daring to speak up as he was too afraid he might break out in tears. You pouted at him and whispered, “give me a kiss.” Without a word he leaned into you and met his lips with yours. And only after a few moments you started to taste his salty tears. “Babe…” you parted your lips from his, just to peck them several times. “Don’t cry, my jjongie. Everything is alright. We’re okey, baby.”

“I almost lost you, y/n.”

“No, you didn’t, silly.“

He wiped his tears away and pouted a little: “you threw away your ring.”

“It was more of a symbolic gesture than anything else. You found it and we talked about everything, right?”

“What if I didn’t? What if I threw it away accidentally?”

“Then we would’ve gotten a new one. But I knew you’d find it and we’d make up in time before you would even empty out your bin.”

“Don’t ever do that again.”

You kissed his sulking lips again, “okey, I won’t, you little baby.”

As you were sharing another sweet kiss his nose bumped against yours and normally you would’ve chuckled at the ticklish feeling but, unfortunately, your nose was still really sensitive. That’s why you let out a painful groan.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he looked at you concerned.

“It’s okey,” you grabbed the cool pad again and held it against it.

Jay rubbed your waist to give you some comfort as he mumbled: “I really wanna punch Jake in the face.” He squeezed his eyes shut to calm himself down when all of the sudden he sat up from his lying position. “Give me a minute. I’ll just do it now.”

“Jay-“

���No, you’re right.” He took a deep breath: “I’ll slam his face against the door.”

“Honey,” you stretched out your arm and put your hand on his back, “before you do so, just listen to me. Think about it: this accident brought us back together.”

He turned around to give you a look, “you’re not being for real, are you?”

“I’m 100% sure we wouldn’t have talked for at least one whole week. But looked at us now,” you wiggled your hand clad with the ring he put on in front of his face. Jay lied back down next to you, now a little more relaxed.

“Sometimes, I don’t like how you only see the good even in the bad things.” He was lying on his back and didn’t look at you as he stared at the ceiling.

“Why?” You giggled, “isn’t that a good thing? To be optimistic.”

“It is, I guess. It’s one of your traits I love so much. But it also makes me realise that I’m not worthy of your love. That you’ll probably leave me someday because you found someone who matches you way better than I do. That’s why I also don’t like it. It’s like a reminder that I’m not good enough for you.” He whispered the last part as he wanted to avoid a crack in his voice.

“Jay…” you were lost for words. In your eyes Jay was the most confident person to ever exist. Never ever did it cross your mind that Jay could also be insecure about your relationship. Just like you felt sometimes.

“Oh, Jay…” you repeated emphatically and scooted closer to him. “Come here.” You wrapped your arms around him and pulled his head towards your chest. He immediately responded by embracing your waist and nestled his face in the crook of your neck.

“This was really stupid of you, you know?” You kissed his forehead and stroked his head softly. “You always tell me to not speak such nonsense when in reality you also have these thoughts of insecurities...

I need you to know that there’s no person on this earth that can handle me as well as you do. There’s no person who loves me like you do and you show it to me in the most special ways. There’s nobody else who knows me like you do. So don’t ever think this again, alright?”

Jay only tightened his embrace around you as a response.

“So what if we fought?" you continued with your speech, "it only grew us stronger and closer. I got to know you better through this. And you’re acting like I’m some saint who’s never done anything wrong in this entire relationship. I think you’re forgetting that I always snap at you when I’m overwhelmed in the slightest. Or when I'm on my period, I always get mad at you if you even breathe incorrectly. Or when I’m sleep deprived. I could give you sooo many examples from our life that we’ve been sharing for quite awhile now. You can’t tell me that you forgot all these instances.”

“Hm, but it’s not the same…” he mumbled against your skin.

“How so?” You exclaimed in a high pitched tone, “just like you don’t care about my bad traits I also don’t! I feel the exact same way about you. Believe it or not!”

“Promise?” He rasped with a tired voice.

“Promise.” You sealed it with a kiss on his head.

“You know about this picture, I told you I liked it because of your smile, right?” He mumbled drowsily as you felt his lips move against your neck.

You hummed.

“You’re tired, baby?”

He responded with a nod. Your hand went automatically to his back as you gave him tender rubs and your other hand continued to pat his head in a delicate rhythm.

“That’s actually not the whole story,” he continued, “I love this picture so much because on this day I realised I wanted to marry you. That you were the one for me.”

Your eyes widened in surprise: “Really?” You asked in a high pitched tone, which made him chuckle lightly.

“Really.” He pressed a small kiss on the spot he was nuzzling his face in.

“But it was taken not even one month into our relationship! How could you possibly know it back then?”

He looked up at you and gently brushed away a strand of hair behind your ear:

“I don’t know what happened that day, princess. I just realised that my feelings for you weren’t - and obviously still aren’t - for someone who I’m dating casually. When you greeted me that day with your usual beautiful smile I immediately knew it. That’s why I love this picture so much. It reflects not only my feelings for you but also the importance of your smile - your happiness - to me.”

He sighed sadly, “that day I swore to myself to never be the reason of your tears. To shield you from any harm and pain that could potentially make you sad. And I miserably failed at that…” he blinked his eyes harshly to stop the tears.

Slap.

“Ouch!”

“Stop it, Park Jonseong!” You frowned angrily.

“You’re only a human. You didn’t fail at anything. Do you really think I’d be lying here with you if I thought that? You always take care of me. Even when we’re fighting! You literally skipped practice today to spend time with me. Also when I hurt my hand you immediately took action to take care of me. And the way you protected me in front of Jake - even though that puppy is definitely no danger - but still, you managed to make me feel so safe and secure in an already completely safe situation. As if I didn’t have to worry about anything as long as I’m with you. And these are only the examples of today. So don’t ever talk like this about yourself.”

“That slap hurt…” he mumbled as he held his cheek with his hand.

“Stop acting like a child.” You rolled your eyes but nonetheless you leaned in to kiss his cheek where you slapped him.

“Better?”

“Here also.” He pointed at his other cheek.

“I didn’t even touch that side.” You laughed at his silliness. Nevertheless, you pecked it.

“And here.” He pointed at his nose.

“Mwuah.” You smooched his nose.

“And here also.” This time he put his finger on his lip.

“Oh, now you’re getting bold.”

“I was born bold.” He clasped your face in his hands and gently pulled you in for soft kiss.

The kiss was interrupted by a giggle of yours which you unsuccessfully tried to stifle: “bold or bald?”

Jay rolled his eyes with a smile and leaned in yet again to kiss you: “oh, just shut up, love…”

...

After this chaotic day you were sure of two things:

First, the next time you’re taking off your ring it will be because he’s giving you another one - this time a diamond ring.

Second, from now on whenever you’re with him you’ll never have to open a door yourself.

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