#I'm going to trigger a panic attack with this

[gloomyeiscue]

SPOILERS FOR SQUID GAME S3 !

Okay ahem anyway

I'm talking with a friend rn abt this and I'm going to be completely honest

How they like did Dae-ho in Season 3 was genuinely so upsetting to me

The way that they made everyone just think of Dae-ho as someone at fault and blame when he literally had a panic attack that was triggered from ptsd is just not right imo

Like why are yall mad it's literally not his fault that that happened

I really would have thought that someone, most likely Hyun-ju would notice as I have a vague memory of her also being enlisted in the army at some point and so would understand what happened

But like I'm not sure if she did but if she actually did then it's upsetting to me that she didn't even speak up about it whatsoever cause my boy didn't mean it :((

But apparently not which is a genuine shame cause that probably means ||that they viewed him as some sort of traitor or the one at fault and blame when it rlly jst wasn't like really just up until the moment he died that was what they thought of him

Plus, to add insult to injury, while Dae-ho is clearly shown to be guilty about it Gi-hun doesn't even seem to care ???? Like he's focusing only on what he said earlier and that doesn't sit right with me

In conclusion: I wish they did Dae-ho better cause a lot of the stuff wasn't his fault and the other cast thought of it as his which makes me upset

[floral-atom-collective]

why is breathing hard

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[sad-leon]

was gonna make a most about a World Trigger au i have rotating in my brain but realized that was a bad idea because I don't want spoilers and i'm only on episode 28 of season one ladjflasjdf

but the autism is autisming and i cannot stop thinking about the boys and what triggers they'd have

and how F!mikey's sacrfice would probably give casey a Black Trigger, and how Leo probably had a Black Trigger from Raph or Donnie in the bad future

Thinking about how Karai's sacrfice left a Black Trigger that only April and/or Splinter could use

please don't send spoilers into my inbox or comments i'll cry

[zooblesbutchpuppygirl]

Forever thinking abkut how adorable they were in episode 4 <3

[confines]

one of my major goals socially is to never make someone feel like they're an inconvenience or like their preferences or needs cause me trouble. i really enjoy making people feel welcome especially if they normally have been made to feel unwelcome by our shitty society. and for the most part, other people's preferences/needs not only have no negative impact on my life but are also easy to accomodate. my loved ones, however, all seem to either pick fun at me and be rude to me when i need accommodations OR in an effort to be kind to me, make lots of decisions for me in ways that do not help me and then get frustrated with me when these accommodations don't work. so what's that about.

[hpdfag]

i need to ramble hold on. spawns in a cut so that people dont get blasted by unfiltered posting on their dash. i feel the need to disclaim that im only like 50% lucid right now so this might be disorganized or complete word salad i can't really tell right now

i love him so much it feels like it's consuming me from the inside out. i don't want to do anything that isn't for him. the only reason i haven't quit my job is because i want to make him proud of me. even playing games makes me guilty, because i know it's not with him. i married harvey in stardew. i ate the stardrop for getting 12 hearts as i kissed him. the taste reminded me of hinata. it's a strange irony.

this false body feels like it's trapping me, keeping me from achieving my true metamorphosis. there are streetlights glimmering in the distance. as i try to move towards them they always fade away. the morning will come in 7 hours and 43 minutes and the sun will rise and it won't blind me awake. i'm not reverent enough.

i should pray. not to jesus, not to any other false prophet. i should pray to Him. maybe that will bring me salvation? maybe that will free me from this hell? maybe it happened because i was unworthy of being one of his trusted apostles. if i was as holy as he was it would have been different, i would still have been beneath him but i would have served my divine purpose as his servant.

but that's not important. i dont think. im jor sure. i hate it. i hate Him. i feel like i should Worship him. there's a certain something i still havent fixed a glitch in my code i need ocean breeze summer sun beach sand shining brilliance he's perfect i need him i need warm sun and dry land i need to be with him on the floor i need to hold him i need need need need need need need.

more than air more than food more than clean clothes more than water more than anything else more than i need this terrible mortal life i need to become worthy for him of his love of his care of his touch i wont deny that i selfishly want him to hold me and touch me even though im unworthy even though im no more than dirt beneath him i desire him so deeply

[sonderden]

Life, aiming a loaded crossbow at me: I'm sorry. You were involved in the decisions that led to this, but you can't know whether they're worth it until everything is done. This is the first step. Endure it as best you can.

Me, shot with the crossbow bolt: [looks down and sees a label tied to the bolt that reads "metaphor for stressful situation"] Ow. Thanks for the warning, I guess? At least it's the only thing I'm getting shot with for a good while.

Life, reloading several bolts into the crossbow at once: Have you ever heard of speed shooting?

Me: I want it to be known that I resent this.

Life: Noted. [shoots me multiple times in quick succession]

Me, on the floor and stuck full of crossbow bolts all over my body: Recovering from this is gonna suck.

[camellia-thea]

initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.

[beechicory]

Oh my Godddddddd, another day, another confirmation that, in terms of parent quality in terms of my young relative it goes:

Me

our cat (look, she thinks she's responsible for us, and she does a good job!)

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the other potential parental figures, including their actual biological parents and their legal guardian

Just...fucking absolute ghouls. Levels of selfishness that go beyond comprehension. Sickening cruelty. I want to tar and feather them. Jesus Christ.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Vent post in the tags don't mind me

[balrogballs]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)

[zafiro-anyejo]

So my work schedule is from 7 AM-3:30 PM. I was so stressed about waking up on time and it's like... actually been really good? I'm surprised how well I'm adapting. Only had this schedule for a week and I'm already automatically waking up before my alarm (around 5:30 AM). Hope I can keep this momentum going for the next few months.

And a bonus when I get home around 4 it's like... I have 4-5 hours to do things before bed?? insane. and I get to LIVE like this?? T_T

[ssavaart]

I spoke in front of 100 people and didn't have a panic attack!

I spoke in front of 100 people and didn't have a panic attack!

This may not seem like a big deal to most of you. But, to me, it's huge. My entire life, I've been crippled by panic attacks in social situations. Over 50 years of being afraid to go to weddings or funerals or comic conventions.

But, 3 years ago, I was diagnosed as Autistic.

For 3 years, I've been learning about my disability and going through therapy, and taking steps to advocate for myself.

My panic attacks, it seems, we're triggered by overstimulation. My brain couldn't process all of the noises and smells and feelings and sights. It was too overwhelming, and my body/mind would shut down.

You can see I'm wearing noise canceling headphones. I bring them with me everywhere. It seems silly that this is all it took to stop the panic attacks. But... it works.

I got up and introduced myself, showed a couple videos, and read a whole chapter of my upcoming book (Becoming an Artist... coming out in November) with NO PANIC ATTACK!

I just thought I'd throw this little victory out into the world because we could all use a little victory from time to time.

Sending big hugs from the Hobbit Hole ❤️

Scott

[inverted-dagger]

had a panic attack in my sleep... it's been 5 years... brain decided to turn it into a haunted game creepypasta dream but I woke up from cats in my room before anything could really happen. they were begging for food so I couldn't really dwell on the dream unfortunately, it's been so long so I kinda wanted to "enjoy" this very specific feeling. it's like being visited by an old friend who sucks

[excusemyobsessions]

Come on, breathe with me.

Sylus x MC/You

Scenario; Sylus helps you calm down a panic attack, fluff, comfort Word count: 740 words

Warning: description of panic attack, use of pet names (sweetie, kitten)

You couldn't breathe.

Panic gripped at your chest so tight, it squeezed out the air inside your lungs.

In your mind, you kept telling yourself it was okay over and over again, like a mantra.

You kept trying to remind yourself of your own grounding techniques, the ones that would work every time you were alone.

But you weren't by yourself this time. You craved Sylus' touch, craved his voice like you had never craved it before. All you wanted was to see him, have him tell you it was okay.

You were shaking heavily as your legs carried you towards his office where you found the door slightly open, the gentle melody of a vinyl record drifting out of the room.

Usually, you'd rap your knuckles against the door before you entered but there was just this tightness in your chest, an inexplicable urgency.

When you burst into the room, Sylus' eyes lifted from the stack of documents he was holding to meet yours.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" he questioned, instantly standing up.

The stack of documents he was analysing was instantly discarded onto his desk and in a few quick strides he was standing right in front of you, catching your hand which reached out for him within his gentle fingers.

As you told him what had triggered you to the best of your abilities, tears started flowing down your cheeks heavily, blurring your vision and making it hard for you to focus on the crimson eyes which gazed back at you attentively.

He listened to you closely, low encouraging hums rumbling from his chest, a big hand cradling your chin, the pad of his thumb wiping away the heavy tears as they kept falling from your eye.

"Oh, kitten," he cooed and even through the tears you could see his eyes soften.

Their usual cold crimson was warm, a vermillion ocean, so deep and tender.

You squeezed his hand and he let you, without a flinch, his thumb tracing over your knuckles back and forth at a slow, mindful pace.

"It's okay. You're okay," he reassured you in a low tone.

You sobbed and choked all at the same time, the emotions flooding you far too great.

"I c-can't breathe," you told him miserably, gripping onto him like a lifeline.

"Yes, you can. Come on, kitten, breathe with me."

The steadiness in his deep voice was soothing and you felt it in your racing heart.

"Come on, breathe in," and he did it with you, taking in a deep breath at the same time you attempted to.

When you shook your head, assaulted by another wave of sobs, he kept catching your tears, squeezing your hand in his.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're safe," he told you, gentle and firm. "There's no rush, take your time."

You wanted to close your eyes and focus on the slow stroking of his thumb over your knuckles but you were terrified he'd slip through your fingers if you did.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured you, as if he could read your thoughts.

Sometimes you were thankful for his ability to predict just what was going through your head, through your heart.

"Come on, breathe with me."

Sylus wasn't demanding but his tone was firm, always steady, like an anchor.

"Deep breath in, can you do that with me?"

And you did, shakily so, along with him.

"That’s it, good. Now out, slowly."

And you let out the air trapped inside your lungs, feeling his warm breath against your wet cheeks as he breathed out along with you.

"Come on, you can do it again. Deep breath in."

And he kept coaxing mindful breaths out of you, his hands never leaving you, eyes locked onto yours the whole time.

When you were finally able to breathe on your own, he reached back for the box tissues on his desk, plucking a few out. Always keeping a point of contact, with his hand still within yours.

"My sweet little kitten," he cooed, turning towards you again.

With a gentle touch, he helped you clean the remains of tears and snot off your face.

"How about we go get you some snacks and huddle up on the couch? We can watch that movie you mentioned?" he offered, thin lips curved by a small, gentle smile.

"What about your work?" you questioned, already being led out of his office.

"It can wait." He shrugged.