#I'm grateful for so much today...
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FB memory of the day... Text below and photo under the cut just in case you don't like surgical scars. Nothing gruesome I don't think...
__________ From 4th Dec 2019
So I used to have this mole. I'd had it since I was a teenager. Turns out it had been hanging with the wrong crowd and after a MoleMap confirming it was gathering strength it got cut out back on the 5th November. Turned out it was a REALLY bad crowd and was in fact melanoma. They wanted to cut out more. Today I got a call at work saying they had a cancellation, and could I make a 2pm surgery time. Why yes, yes I can! (Because I'm all in favour of getting rid of the bad crowd and getting gnarly looking scars).
Shout out to my brother, for driving me around, and my workmates who would have had to pick up my slack while I reorganised my life (and were my backup taxi drivers), and also to Hubs and the boys, who have to do everything for the next couple of days and also put up with me being unshowered and whining because it hurts.
This is why we slip, slop, slap and wrap. Because we didn't when we were kids.

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iconic bouncy era looks: @cordiallyfuturedwight edition
#ateezedit#atzsource#ateez gifs#kpopedit#kpopccc#maleidolsedit#ultkpopnetwork#useraimee#userines#userdimple#userzaynab#hicosmo#cheytermelon#tuserochi#majatual#raplineuser#*mine#hongjoong#san#tw flashing#it's already the 24th here so happiest of birthdays love#i can't lie putting this together put me through it#we do share half a bias line after all lol (and what a privilege it is too)#ugh them in this era was a massive serve wbk#i digress i hope you have the best day today & i hope it's filled with much love & joy#there's not a day that goes by that i'm not grateful to have you for a friend & i will never cease to remind you when i can#alright i'm done being sappy enjoy your gifts <3
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Had the cutest realization last night- so there's a saying we have in English meaning to get something done by any means necessary. It specifically includes dishonest methods, such as violence or lying. So when you're willing to resort to that kind of thing to achieve your goals, you say you're going to do something
"by hook or by crook"
#honkai star rail#Hook because her name is literally Hook and Sampo because he can claim innocence all he wants he's still a crook fjkdsjal#I'm sure this is just coincidence BUT STILL#IT ONLY FURTHER CEMENTS THEM AS A DYNAMIC DUO FOR ME#they're so cute and I love them so much one of my fave pairs fr UWEH#they are literally 'by hook or by crook' in this screenshot too fjkdasjk#this was from Hook's companion quest where Hook literally beats a man unconscious for stealing from her dad-#-and then Sampo promptly helps her lie for profit which she is grateful to him for#I hope they become shady business partners in the future jfkdlasjfkld#I mean I'm pretty sure they already kind of conduct business together. The Moles see and hear everything in the underworld after all.#They're essentially information brokers and Hook is their leader.#When Sampo joins a party with Hook already there he comments that he guesses they're gonna play hardball today.#Which could be interpreted as physical fighting since Hook obvs has no problem with violence and sneaks into the Fragmentum a lot haha but-#-personally I love to think it's a comment on Sampo and Hook having business negotiations. I hope she extorts him for candy and toys fjkfjd#honkai star rail sampo#honkai star rail hook#hsr#hsr sampo#hsr hook#sampo koski#pitch dark hook the great#hook & sampo
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Head full of stars.
I listened to Sinkhole S1 two days in a row, and then S2 today. The way it depicted physical disability, ableism, and institutional betrayal - it meant a lot.
#vosling art#my art#SINKHOLE#SINKHOLE podcast#fan art#the way the narrator said (paraphrased) “There are people out there who wish we had never come out of the hole”#I felt that in my bones#I'm glad I've worked through enough of my pandemic trauma to engage with media like this because it's so meaningful#But yeah#the way we were discarded like acceptable deaths at the bottomline#because only the elderly and disabled (the weak) would die from this catastrophic pandemic that turned out to be a mass disabling event#and it happens over and over again#this ongoing / recurring / never-ending grief of being betrayed by society and being told it's time to move on#anyway#it's amazing to me how much I love short form fiction podcasts specifically#beautiful stories and managing to strike to the heart of certain themes with just twenty 10-20min episodes#deeply grateful for stories like these#okay one last tag because it keeps roaming in my mind these last few days (thanks Eric LaRocca) (paraphrased)#what did you do to deserve your eyes today?
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#Yesterday I bough my first b/sd volumes ever ajhvsdkajhsvdkajhdsv it's such a small thing but it's been making me all giddy#It's (predictably) volumes 9 and 20. That is to say the ss/kk covers volumes ajhsyzbadkjhbsad#I never thought it would have made much a difference to own them but now that I see them on my nightstand I'm so 🥰🥰🥰#I had to go to two different comic shops to find volume 20. B/sd is comparatively really that unpopular here pfftttt.#The print is a little on the dark end and the pages are very yellow in my opinion. But the image quality is so good and I'm 🥰🥰🥰#Volume 20 also has a slight blemish on it but eh. That was the only copy they had since I'm on time limit I couldn't risk it.#After all I only bought them so that I could have something to get signed!!! Man I hope everything goes well at the con 🥺🥺#I'm so nervous and it's not the good kind of nervous lol. I haven't even bought the tickets yet...#I swore to myself I would only buy them after I was done with this assignment and I'm still not done ಥ_ಥ#Ouhg I'll keep working on it today wish me luck...#The Dead Apple screening has been announced just now to take place on Thursday. “For the first time in the country”.#Who's gonna tell them that's a movie that came out seven years ago ajdhvcaskdjv.#I was hoping they'd finally dub it (we still never had a b/sd dub here. Talk about it being upopular) but since the authors will be there–#during the screening now I doubt it will ever be at all 💔💔 Deep sigh#Idk. Let's hope the panels are interesting. Let's hope they will make interesting announcements. Let's hope there's no awkward moment.#Let's hope my people are as kind and welcoming as possible.#God everyone who knows me knows how much I care about the value of hospitality. It's the first commandment for me!#And especially since it's. my hometown I'm nervous and I really care we make things good!! And leave the best impression#I don't know what was the point of this. Anxiety has been building up for a month ajsvdhvfjsdfjjhdsb#I'm grateful b/sd isn't popular here to the extent that I hope there won't be too many people lol.#I hope there's just enough people to make the authors satisfied and just not enough people to make me feel unsafe pfftttt.#Aaaahh whatever.#random rambles
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I'm going back to bed the moment I post this but I've been having a super rough and stressful night... so for whatever reason I went back to read some of the kind asks I've received since I saved a lot... some since the first time I started writing... and I got so emotional and just began sobbing haha.... I can't believe how lucky I am...... I love writing so much.........
#I'm sorry I think I'm just in an emotional mood today lol#like I forget all the time that#people actually read the things I write#when I thought no one ever would#when I dreamed of wanting to make my silly dreams a reality#and I have so much to improve upon still#but like. I did that#I made all those things#wiping my snot and tears on my big fat aki plushie rn#for so so so long I felt I could never be myself#but now there are so many people who appreciate me when I am being the most true version of myself...#I just read one of the asks someone sent me where they said#'i think with your writing I can tell just how much you love to write'#and then it just made me burst into tears lol....#it's so lovely that someone would say that and YES!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!#THAT'S WHY I NEVER WANT TO GIVE UP....#I hope I can find more time to write next week......#also I know it's such a silly thing to say#considering I enjoy writing silly x reader gratuitous smut fanfiction LMAO#but understand..... it's important to me...#as silly as it is.......... it's important#and it's special#and I'm truly grateful
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This is partially for myself but also I am taking anyone who can relate gently by the hand when I say this
It is okay to ask for help.
It is okay to recognize when a dog is struggling with something that is beyond your current skills/knowledge. It is okay to call on your village or reach out to a trainer, even if you yourself are a trainer. It is okay not to know everything.
And it is far better to ask for help so that you and the dog can both learn and gain new skills than it is to beat yourself up in silence.
#this is not about Faye or Forte#but i did sit down with my boss today and ask for the village#my boss was very supportive and has scheduled a meeting for monday to get everyone on board with helping#part of me feels really shitty because I can see where I'm falling short with this dog#and there's so much that this awesome about this dog#but i am struggling to figure out how to help him through this particular flavor of dog aggression#i want so badly to do right by this dog#so I'm really grateful to have others to call on to help me help him#and if this post os relatable please accept a fistbump of solidarity#and also a nice calming beverage while you take a deep breath#it's really hard to feel like you are failing a dog#but asking for help from others is not a failure#it's a testament to the desire to learn and do better
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your friendship is a beam of sunlight in a cold room.
#sighs. i'm ready for today to be over but i don't have anytihng to look forward to tomorrow. so.#i was going to try to find a church but that doesn't seem like it'll be happening but maybe i can do home-church again with art journaling#but just. i'm. really lonely#today i felt Fine i felt Good! like i genuinely felt Emotionally Normal which was so NICe; really this whole week i've been doing Well#i've felt Normal! which i never ever take for granted <3 but despite Feeling Fine today i just.. burst into tears? randomly??? throughout#the day???#and it took me half the day to realize i think it's cause i'm lonely. which. there's not much i can *do* about that right now#and i called a best friend and we did parallel play art time in silence and that was so so nice#and i talked to my brother on the phone and i played minecraft and i did an art project#and everything has been very lovely and i AM really grateful for all the gifts i've been given for this season#but that doesn't negate the fact that it's been nearly a month since i last received a hug#and that just weighs on you sometimes yknow. and it's not like i'm not trying#but i'm also just Sad. and friends are so wonderful but also they're still all behind screens. i need irl community which is why i need to#find a church which is why i need to finish learning how to drive. sighs.#journal moodboards#3.15.25#elle moodboards
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How blessed are we to have a God who takes our burdens?
#how many years i have suffered under pathetically oversized burdens#many of which weren't even mine#and to know that my God not only took those#but continues to take every burden that is placed on me and will be there to receive every burden i will have in the future#am i always ready and willing to relinquish my burdens?#no for i am an idiot#and i will sit there crying under my overwhelmingly colossal burden insisting to everyone (and myself) that i can carry it on my own#but when i realize i'm being crushed to death by that burden and ask for his help he always takes it for me and exchanges it for his burden#which is light#i cannot be grateful enough#there are not words for how good he is or how much i owe to him#oh to be the friend#the sister#the daughter#of a God who has so much affection for me#i feel so overwhelmed by it today
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Man I woke up today like "I'm so gonna write today" and I haven't written a thing as all my favorite people came running and have been showering me with love and affection and sillies-
I seriously don't deserve all of y'all but I genuinely cherish every single one of you sm *sobs*
Thank you all so much for making my day special, I genuinely appreciate everything, I hope we all can chill together like this more often (genuine)
#kai rambles#kai genuinely appreciates everyone here very much#thank you all so much for existing with me#y'all are so sweet and amazing I'm so grateful I have you guys here#kais original post#community application post#seriously I love yall sm#please keep being cool#thanks guys I'll probs post fics again soon but today I've just been so loved I couldn't do anything until I thanked y'all
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i giggle so hard whenever i see one of my posts on someone else's blog like omg..... i'm actually liked by people..... blushing rn
#just happened to me and every time i smile so hard#i am filled with an overwhelming gratitude today#ilysm guys </3#my babiiiiiiies#i cannot explain the comfort this little blog brings me#i've met some of my best friends here#and i'm so grateful ☹️☹️☹️💞💞💞#thank you so much truly😭🩷🫶🏻#not to be sappy. but#i have never felt as valued and grateful for everything and by everyone i have in my life before this silly little blog#i love u sm#thank you 🫶🏻#i think at my core i am a very selfish person. i often do things for myself and myself alone#even the nice things are for my own benefit a lot of the time#i want to help people but most of all i want to help myself and it makes me feel bad sometimes#because i know a lot of people in my life online and irl see me as this kind selfless person#but only i know it doesn't always come from a place of kindness for others#i think there's some underlying problem there i need to look into genuinely. but i am so grateful for u guys genuinely#i love you all w my whole heart 🫶🏻#ok ill shut up now#thoughts ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#girlcore
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04/25/2025 Progress Update:
TLDR: 2.5K written, about 34K drafted so far for chapter
I really really wanted to finish the draft today but theeeen got distracted by a lot of things. Still got 2.5K more drafted, and we're like RIGHT at the end of section 4, so we're going strong. I do very much think I could get the whole chapter drafted by end of tomorrow, but we'll see. If not, likely by end of weekend. Then editing time!
I have really been enjoying these last parts. My fingers are flying, barely stopping. It's probably 'cause it's action; despite not being like the BEST at action, I still really like writing it lol. I especially like the constraints. The fact Shuichi's heart stops him from taking a chase at full-strength forces me to reassess how he approaches trying to catch the Phantom Thief, relying less on his strength/endurance and more his ability to think on his feet. I want him to be resourceful.
That's like one of my favorite FAVORITE things about any Phantom Thief AU, when Shu uses his head to get himself out of situations. I point to ultimate_heartache's fic, which has Shu use a cigarette's smoke path to get him out of a mirror maze. That is.... like the most spell-binding thing I've ever seen in a Phantom Thief AU lol, I love it SO much. So I wanted to emulate a similar vein of "mind over body" moments for Shu, not only because I think it's cool but because I think Ko would eat it up.
Anyway. Today was a little better, which is always a plus! I'm very much looking forward to this weekend. I'm going to sit outside on my newly-moved-into deck and write for like the entire day. And no one can stop me mwahahaha.
Hope you all have a lovely lovely night! I wish you so much relaxation and non-stressful days to come. You've got this, I believe in you!!
#thwwichphantomthief#did like a bit of moving around dialogue today too#i wanted more “ko is flabbergasted and intrigued by SK” moments#cuz i want it to go both ways#obviously shu's gonna be absolutely floored by the absurdity of the phantom thief but i think it's appropriate#to make PT just as surprised by SK#i won't go super into this because i think that's too spoilery#but i mean this fic isn't just shu and ko falling in love#it's also sk and pt falling in love#because that's like one of the funnest perks of making them both have alter egos#that particular aspect is inspired by rannas' “meeting your match” btw which I can't recommend enough#I got the absolute pleasure of talking to this author directly and letting them know how much that fic means to me#it's great even if unfinished and you should go read it#i've got to meet so many talented saiou authors these past couple months holy shit#i feel very unworthy in this space lmaooo#but also very grateful#especially cuz yknow my fav one of them all betas my stuff#subtlest brag#but seriously very grateful#i feel i'm a better writer for it! or at least hope so lol#either way it's been so fun#though i am probably still the “writes too many goddamn words” of the saiou fandom lmaooo#kiwi does not shut up but I like not shutting up so#been fun i really have enjoyed it :))
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not just a snack but the entire five-course meal plus coffee and dessert. I'll have mine in my room
#just when i think i've screencapped every second of this movie i find another tiny detail to capture#FOR EXAMPLE this one#i am frothing at the mouth throwing myself against the bars of my enclosure#WAKE UP KIDS DAD IS HOME#are ya'll seeing this????? are you all seeing this??#the arms??? the muscle definition??#the way his tunic fits over his chest GOD BLESS YOU JANTY YATES#she put my man in a costume that shows off every line of his perfect body and i for one am SO grateful#never ever gonna argue with a man who has shoulders like a freaking mountain#whatever you say gorgeous#he's SO FINE HE'S SO FINE HE'S SO F#begging him to lift me onto that table and show me the meaning of the word powerful#only word i'll be remembering is his name but that's the only one i'll need#anything he wants literally ANYTHING he wants#no deep thoughts or observations on this one just thirsting#call me cream because i am WHIPPED for this man#forever fantasizing about making sweet love with him in the intimacy of some quiet place YOU KNOW????#i just need that#i need him to know how much i adore him and i need to be able to demonstrate it physically#falling on my knees begging him to just like. grab the back of my neck and put me right where he wants me#sorry for all the insanity everyone#i'm a bit unhinged for him today#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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Got a very lovely surprise yesterday when I received a delivery of flowers from one of the autism organizations whose Board I am on, with well wishes for my recovery from surgery! I don't think any organization I've been associated with has done something like this for me, and I'm genuinely touched by such a kind, unexpected gesture...
#personal post#this was such a nice surprise#albeit entirely unnecessary#but i am so grateful that my colleagues thought enough of me to do this#also today is day five post-op and i am feeling so much better#one day at a time#people can be awful sometimes#but then people can be wonderful too#and i'm just so grateful#thank you all you lovely people for being here#<3
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PHYSICAL TRAITS.
feminine ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ masculine scrawny ⦾⦾⦾⦿⦾ bulky short ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ tall (as a dang tree!) weak ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ strong clumsy ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ agile slow ⦾⦾⦾⦿⦾ fast
PERSONALITY TRAITS.
lawful ⦾⦿⦾⦾⦾ chaotic good ⦾⦾⦿⦾⦾ evil feminine ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ masculine chaste ⦾⦾⦿⦾⦾ lustful heterosexual ⦿⦾⦾⦾⦾ homosexual romantic ⦾⦿⦾⦾⦾ aromantic oblivious ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ perceptive ignorant ⦾⦾⦾⦿⦾ knowledgeable pious ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ worldly (atheist + scientist) forgiving ⦾⦾⦾⦿⦾ vengeful honest ⦾⦾⦿⦾⦾ deceitful generous ⦾⦿⦾⦾⦾ selfish (used to be much more selfish!) just ⦿⦾⦾⦾⦾ arbitrary (at least in his own mind; to others it's possible he gives the opposite impression) temperate ⦾⦿⦾⦾⦾ indulgent merciful ⦾⦾⦿⦾⦾ cruel introverted ⦾⦿⦾⦾⦾ extroverted (sometimes feigns being more extroverted tho) kind ⦾⦾⦾⦿⦾ stern modest ⦿⦾⦾⦾⦾ proud pushover ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ stubborn (contrarian to a fault yhujik) coward ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ valorous (or at least, tries to be) prudent ⦾⦾⦿⦾⦾ reckless opportunistic ⦾⦾⦾⦿⦾ loyal (ohhh interesting one 👀 potentially; loyal to those he cares about, but opportunistic when it comes to capturing anomalies) optimistic ⦾⦾⦾⦾⦿ pessimistic (pretty much grew up in a blade runner-esque city, so , y e s)
tagged: @zimwy cheers! thank ya so much :D
tagging: you! do it!
#dash game#this was so much fun! i love analysing muses like this <3#i'm grateful for the exercise too bc a game i play on my phone was pissing me off :(#any e.mpires & puzzles gamers out there?#bc i am sick to death of facing f.ergus in wars lmao#what's the point when he just zaps your mana away EVERY time :')#i also had to deal with a customer complaint today#and what made it funny was bc it started with me being tagged in an e-mail#and then like 3 hours later 10+ people in our department were looking at logs and other info trying to piece together all the details lmao#fun times!
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personal update: went to the ER this morning cos i woke up coughing so much that i couldn't breathe :') had chest x-rays and bloodwork done (had the song stuck in my head the whole time i was there and icl it kept my energy from fading). doctor was such an angel and said i have pneumonia/strep/something in that family of diseases, and prescribed me with really strong antibiotics. she said i should be better in time for christmas🥹
unfortunately my energy and creative juices are still quite low, so i'm continuing to put a hold on my christmas minifics. I likely wont have the energy or time to write them until after christmas, but that will not stop me from getting them done!! christmas will continue for as long as i say it will lol
#i love y'all so much#just wanted to say that#cos not to be dramatic or freak anyone out but i feel like i could have died if i didn't go to hospital today#i'm so grateful for all your lovely well wishes and support#<3#yapping
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