#I'm sick there's something wrong with me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mythicalcoolkid · 1 year ago

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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

#m/cc #mine #I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges #and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like #a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with #there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example #or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone #*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have #I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side #for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others #for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me #and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public #and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist #that's why there's so much awareness happening for it #but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people

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chronurgy · 3 months ago

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If I had any ability to write in verse I would inflict a fic about the nocturne and rogue trader meeting again on Quetza Temer and having some sort of weird fling upon you all with zero hesitation. Malakai would speak back to the nocturne in verse, there would be steps and movements that everyone would think were bizarre until they realized they were all things actors would do on stage, instead of calling them "the" merchant/merchant vagabond the nocturne would refer to them as "my" merchant, literally everyone there (humans, aeldari, drukhari, assorted flora and fauna) would disapprove. It would be amazing.

So like...... anyone else getting fun flirty vibes between the nocturne of oblivion and the rogue trader?

#Merlin plays rogue trader #sorry i just.#I can't stop thinking about it #I'm sick there's something wrong with me

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feligayzed · 4 months ago

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Yep. The goddamn secret in those quills got me. Bad.

A doodle of, in my humble opinion, the best scene in this lovely fic up to date

Go check it out posthaste!!!

#I'M SO SICK.#dont get me wrong the smooch was phenomenal but something about this one lingered in my mind #I can't think about it too hard ill throw up #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sth fanart #sth fandom #sonadow #sonic x shadow #the secret in our quills #the secret in our quills fanart #feli's art

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arttsuka · 10 months ago

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Based on somewhat real events

I spent way too much time drawing this...

But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you

A continuation (kinda)

#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually #only when I'm already overstimulated #there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong #one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day #I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and #2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others #anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters #I hate drawing their faces so much #gravity falls #stanford pines #ford pines #young stanford pines #stan pines #stanley pines #young stan pines #art #fanart #traditional art #comic #long post #watercolor #forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well #is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really #I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal #btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags #is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan #teen ford

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lambilegs · 1 month ago

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spent way too long on butch-femme twitter and am now heading to sleep at 5AM with a pit in my tummy about potentially never finding the right person one day </3

#idc if anyone is sick of my rants LET WOMEN BE!!#might listen to ethel crain and contemplate a little #I do really wanna experience what it'd be like to date someone who is in closer proximity to me since my last relationship was long distanc #but sometimes I wonder if searching for someone in my surrounding area is limiting and gonna make it harder to find someone #+ I'm compatible with #plus I can't tell if my expectations are too specific/unrealistic and will hinder my chance or if they're reasonable #bc there's one couple I found today and ngl I did deep dive into their tweets bc they're so damn cute but it did make me lonely af LOL #and they're long distance too so it had me worrying if I was doing something wrong in my own ldr and it contributed to things ending #but seeing them also realized more specific expectations and desires I have no in regards to how I'm shown affection + sense of humor #I just don't know if I'm being too picky though and if my expectations will mess w my chances #not that I'm ready for anything rn but in the future #I just want someone who I'm mutually obsessed with and who I'm insane about and who's insane about me #(in a cute way. like we wanna bite each other 24/7 and are in a constant state of being immensely enamoured)#s.text

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creekfiend · 1 year ago

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I think the very worst thing about being this sick and in being this much pain is just the bone deep exhaustion I feel

I want to connect with the world and it's like trying to touch the sky when you're lying at the bottom of a well. I can reach my arm all the way up as long as it will go and I can't touch anything I'm too far down and I can barely even see it from where I am and there's no way I can reach it at all

#and I'm so tired I'm so so tired I can barely feel the anger and the terror I'm so angry and I'm so scared and I'm so tired of being #like this #I want it to be a different way I want to be a whole person #and I don't even have the wherewithal to feel that I can feel it but I can't feel it all the way because I can't feel anything #I can't feel anything all the way there's something wrong with me there's something inside me that's just wrong #sick #i feel like maybe i am dying.

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vaguely-concerned · 23 days ago

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there's a self-help/mental health adjacent post that's going around and it seems to be really helpful for a lot of people which is very good. I also personally hate it with all my fucking heart

#it's the anhedonia one btw lmao #if i. have to be exposed to one more goddamn cbt-ass advice post in my life. I will start tearing throats out with my teeth #and I will have earned the right to because I've been through the fucking TRENCHES over the years man #I think it's the appeal to urgency at the end however ruefully humorously packaged that ohohoho. really grrrrinds my gears.#this is obviously not what the person is trying to do with that but the unavoidable implication that the reason you might still #be suffering is that you just haven't tried hard enough to change to like things to open your eyes... hey. respectfullly. fuck off #peak advice for mild to moderate symptoms of mental illness thoughtlessly presented as universally applicable #without any consideration for the deeper thing you're saying -- that if someone is in a real bad way and DOESN'T get better #it's their own responsibility and they just haven't tried hard enough. in trying to be kind you are being so desperately cruel #to the people who are struggling the most. bitch I am fucking GREAT at liking things! it's one of my best skills!! I'm generally curious!#my capacity for enthusiasm and intellectual joy over any old thing that strikes my fancy is legendary and often I suspect quite annoying!!!#so when anhedonia completely envelops me I know it's a sign of something else and bigger going on in the background #it's not a choice. the brain is not solely a cognitive machine!! you cannot fix everything that can go awry with it by Thinking Better!!!#cbt must be great for the people it's great for and I'm sincerely genuinely glad for it. less suffering in the world is great #but it is a way of thinking that is a hammer and you just have to hope like fuck your problem is a nail. because otherwise #you're bruised from being beaten with hammers and the additional shame of what's wrong with you that it's not helping #and again I recognize very keenly that this is not a space meant entirely for me. people sharing resources that amn are not about me #is not only fine it's good it's great! however. it'd also be nice to not get thrown under the fucking bus for once #because my presence fully expressed is an uncomfortable reminder of the things we *cannot* control about our own brains lmao #I'm lucky that I've been in the game long enough and have enough resources to start to smell the bullshit here but...#the pain 'losing years' induces in you when you don't have *a fucking choice* -- because it's not a matter of willpower #or positive thinking or changing your mindset. you're just sick. in a way medicine hasn't quite figured out how to help yet.#well. maybe. maybe don't put that on someone huh. maybe don't make their 'lost years' to depression and doomscrolling or whatever #'their own fault'. I kind of think that's possible to do without submitting to doomposting. is all.#(I feel the same about the 'resting vs. rotting' idea. well friend sometimes the best I can hope for is some gentle rotting #thanks for introducing this layer of disgust and condemnation to the general despair. it's added a patina)#this might actually be the first time I've managed to hold on to my own anger about this rather than it getting drowned out by shame tho #which as steps forward go. *sigh* it's not a moon landing is it. but a small step for man nevertheless I suppose

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german-ghosts · 3 months ago

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did we get some surnames of the characters? as far as i could tell, emma was köper? did felix have one?

Hi anon!

As far as I can remember, these are the surnames we know:

Emma Küper

Friedrich Dorn

Adelheid von Donnerhall

Ludwig von Donnerhall

Elisabeth von Bastenheim

Felix's last name hasn't been mentioned but since he and Emma aren't married, we know it isn't Küper. We also have no last names for Svenni, Joachim, Griet, Claudius and Lotti.

#please correct me if I'm wrong #I've been sick all of last week and might have missed something #die geister #die geister spoilers #ask #ard ghosts #german ghosts

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kalied0skull · 7 days ago

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AAAAAUWGHH I HATE BEING SICK ALL THE TIME >:(

#ranting to self #i JUST #it's so fucking sucky because i know the reason why it started but I don't know the reason of why it's still happening #or at least i think i know the reasoning idk #it started 3 years ago and lasted only 3 months and that was that #they thought they figured it out — acid reflux whatever #now it's happening again and started for the same reason but now it won't LEAVE and it's been nearly FIVE MONTHS #and i just #UGHHHH #and i have to wait and wait and wait just so they can do tests and bloodwork and tell me something and it probably won't even be anything-#-of assistance aside from “yeah you're definitely sick” like no FUCKING SHIT #it's this whole life long issue that me and mom would argue over since i was a damn baby despite the fact that it's not an ED #i just don't know what's wrong with me :( i never have and i feel like i never will because this system hates doing shit until you're-#-either in critical condition or already fucking dead so they don't have to deal with it and i fucking FUCK #i just don't wanna be nauseous my whole life anymore #i don't want to have these fits of waking up every morning sick to my fucking stomach anymore #i don't wanna be so anxious #i just #i REALLY hate this #delete later #turned into venting #I'm just #so tired #of this shit man

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scoliosisgoblin · 1 year ago

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Which version of Rick is your fav?

it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick

then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick

I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?

#the only reason why Evil is above C-137 and Memory is because #Memory's design is something I don't really like in the style of the show #his fanart makes him look so much cooler but in the show he just looks.. unfinished?#idk it's weird to me. I love him outside of that though #and with C-137. I'M SICK OF HIM LMAO I AM SO SORRY #there are too many fucking episodes dedicated to this man. pushing everyone else aside just to have him yap about his dead wife #I love him so much but there's only so many times we can bring Diane up and not really develop her as a character but rather to boost Rick #and the show is Rick and MORTY yet all I see is Rick 😭😭 don't get me wrong I love this man #I just feel like we know more about Rick than the rest of the family #WHICH IS FINE IF THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR #and if they wanted to go in that direction so be it! it's fine!#I just feel like he needs less screen time or at least balance episodes among the family #cause even the most recent Morty episode is about Rick. it was so frustrating watching it cause it's literally MORTY'S fear hole experience #yet we're watching Morty's head canons about his grandparents #I also hate the narrative they took with Diane. only ever having Rick talk of her or others bring her up #it just doesn't make her a character but rather an extension off of Rick. that's how I'm feeling rn with the family #they're all just there to prop up Rick or something. super annoying #but that's about it. I'm not gonna continue my rant #unless you want me to?#idk if I even made sense but that's all good #rick and morty #rick and morty fandom #rick #memory rick #evil rick #C-137 #Rick Sanchez

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unopenablebox · 1 month ago

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ok i am clearly kind of fucked up but eating food did let me get groceries and come back without sweating even more, so some of that was blood sugar i guess

#my lungs are tired now though.#you guys might be right i might be sick. i maybe didn't realize because i was unrelatedly lying down for two days #alternately the reason i was so desperate to lie down was because i was sick.#unclear #box opener #i'm also freezing but i still can't tell if that's entirely predictable given environmental conditions or what #it's ok though my girlfriend will be home from work within the hour so if something's really wrong with me they will notice

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fratercrucis · 1 month ago

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what about season 7 sam being pregnant and then the baby is stillborn, then what

#why was this in my DRAFTS #season 7 sam looks so fertile to me i can't even explain #also she's suffering from hallucinations #she doesn't know she's pregnant until hallucifer tells something sus #and she's like IT'S NOT REAL THIS CAN'T BE REAL #but she tried sleeping pills and some other drugs to fall asleep cuz lucifer won't shut the fuck up #and now she's worried bout the baby #dean suggests abortion #but sam is like i know dean we can't keep the baby but lets give the baby a chance. we can give the baby up for adoption (tear in her eyes)#if you'd like that. but i'm bringing the baby to this world. it's my baby </3 #but due to some hunt or something goes terribly wrong and sam goes into premature labour #he's excited worried panicked and exhausted #but also hopeful #but sam was tired and passed out right after delivery and she's never gonna forgive herself for that after she learns what happened #it will be dean who finally tells her that her baby was stillborn before the doc arrives cuz as soon as sam woke up #and didn't see the baby in the same room and dean sitting there looking sad. she knew it #she weeps and cries and has hiccups when she she tells dean that she didn't even get to hold her baby #she would look so pretty crying and red puffy eyes and sick voice <3 #i should really study for my exams. enough is enough #sam winchester #mpreg!sam #BUT JARED PADALECKI WOULD PUT HIS WHOLE PUSSY INTO PORTRAYING THESE EMOTIONS LIKE DAYUMMMM

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several-ravens · 1 year ago

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post season 2 horny rant about elias don't click if it's going to upset you

MY HUSBAND. A MURDERER. who would have thought???

so it was him at the murderous end of that pipe. good for him

when i tell you i screamed when he walked into the room. i mean damn he can talk to me like that whenever he wants. HIS VOICE??? and that little evil speech at the beginning oooooh that's enough to kill me

maybe he didn't need to murder leitner as well but also who am i to stop him? like eurgh brotha eurgh but also ooooh baby heaven is a place on earth like that one remix that's on tiktok atm

AND because that wasn't enough, on top of being evil and fucked up he's also very powerful

excuse me but that's hot af. his place of power should be me.

(i have a thing for evil powerful men in case that wasn't clear)

#no spoilers beyond mag80 pls #the rant continues in the tags so feel free to not open them <3 #you've been warned #no elias don't be a murderer you're to sexy haha #jk jk go on your murderous spree my love you deserve it!#bring me a souvenir!#listen my moral compass disappears when hot older men are involved #does he murder people in cold blood? yes #would he kiss my hair and hold me gently in his arms? also yes #who am i to keep him from achieving his sick and twisted little dreams?#he's a criminal that should be in prison and i fail to see how that's a problem #i love him sm #ik my brain is wired wrong and i'm delusional or whatever #something something my dad was absent idk #you should see my taste in women though it's exquisite #if you've come this far you can't be mad at me you knew what you were about to read when you clicked on the post so no hate allowed #tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #elias bouchard

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marshmellowtea · 6 months ago

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was thinking about the munchausen by proxy au at work today lads......while i feel that chris is probably one of the median/older members of the society in canon verse i'm tempted to make him the youngest of the group in this au just for Flavor. just to add to the "oh god he's just a little guy" factor of it all

#and also because i'm a serial de-ager of my faves lmao #just hrrrg. gangley nineteen year old chris who's been sheltered his whole life #being thrown into cornley polytechnic cuz his dad is sick of indulging the constant hospital stays #and he wanted to get back at celia by separating her from her emotional support son whom she's poisoning #and chris is just surrounded by his early to mid twenty something colleagues away from his mama for the first time ever #and it's terrifying and exciting and it's everything he ever wanted and everything he's ever been scared of #ouuugh #sorry having brainrot about my own au rn lmaooo #the goes wrong show #chris bean #marshy speaks #FUCK i still haven't come up with a name for this au #uhhh give me a moment to think. i'm tempted to do something to do sharp objects related but that's only a slight inspiration for this #why am i so bad at naming things lmao #edit: my american came out. nixed the paying for hospital bills tag lmao #love isn't injected with syringes 'verse

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teardropwolf · 3 months ago

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I HATE COUNTING

Anyway apparently I've been doing the daily drawings for a total of 36 days so far

I'll see how long I can keep the streak

#teardrop talk #I am partially worried that people will get sick of wildrop/wearson stuff #even though I do sometimes post them seperately #or different charas and ships #and I know I'm mostly doing this for me #but I'm still a recovering people pleaser :(#I can't help worrying and getting paranoid sometimes #something is wrong with my brain lol

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unopenablebox · 1 month ago

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does two and a half days of mostly lying down/sitting on a couch and not leaving the house decondition you enough to go from "can walk for an hour or take a moderately strenuous yoga class without notable exertion" to "standing long enough to get six things out of an overhead cabinet makes your limbs shake and break out sweating" or am i actually sick somehow

#i passed out dramatically and then i had a bunch of digestive symptoms i assumed were just from accidentally poisoning myself #with too much dairy-containing restaurant food. but stayed home because i'm exhausted and didn't want to be sick at work.#and also i was continually either in bed or on the couch because it was like 40 degrees outside and the heat wasn't on #yesterday i was like mildly more out of breath than normal while doing laundry (involves 3 flights of stairs) but not notably #and today i am abruptly really fucked up and have notable limb weakness when doing things #i'm currently trying 'eat something sugary and sit down and drink water' but food im confident i can digest requires the corner store #so i am going to have to figure something out #to be honest i was mostly malingering for the past few days it's just that i am really really really tired and also hate having digestive #issues at work and the passing out thing let me justify it #but now i'm kind of concerned i might have something wrong

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