#IM TIRED OF TYPING EVERYTHING FOR THE THIRD TIME

[nemisisnemi]

HERES THE FIRST MOCKUP OF MY MUSHU INSPIRED TWST OC

arrogant lil fucker <3

His general personality is mostly worked out, backstory....not so much

I quit on his clothes and started another sketch bc i was frustrated with his pose and also bc i couldn't find any references on the time period accurate clothing from when Mulan took place

(partly on me bc im rlly bad at searching for things online and partly bc it might be too niche of a subject to find specifically noble/royal mens clothing. i kept finding womens clothing but barely any for men)

Here's the Mushu reference pic i used under this

[moneygoblin04]

I don't think I'mma get to sleep tonight. Call it a hunch.

[starrysan]

nouvelle vague

↳ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ? [12]

masterlist || prev chap || next chap

pairing: korea local!yunho x new to city!reader [smau]

third person pov

y/n was working at their desk when they were called into their bosses office. “you asked for me?” when say walking into the office and sitting down. “yes i did” the boss hums typing on her computer. she gestures for them to have a seat though they were already seated.

"you've been here a few months now, yes?" she asks. "yes I have" y/n replies. "im sorry.. did I do something wrong? I thought I reported everything in a timely mann-" y/n starts. "nothing like that" their boss assures them.

"you've been doing great. really incredibly" their boss continues. "its not confirmed but we may move you back to the Australia branch" she drops finally to which y/n freezes on the spot. "i.. im sorry what?" y/n makes sure they heard her correctly. "the employment isn't going as well there since to be honest we moved a lot of people abroad this quarter" their boss continues.

"I was told i'd be here for minimum a year its barely been 8 months" y/n says in disbelief. "I know.. im sorry" the boss replies though it honestly didn't seem that convincing. y/n leaves the office in defeat. it of course wasn't confirmed but the fact that it could happen made them freak out.

they tried texting yunho who wasn't responding again but he's busy they shouldn't bother him its fine. they texted chris for a bit, texted san as well. started getting worried about yunho since he wasn't responding and started freaking out about their job again. they panic FaceTimed chris who picked up immediately.

"everything ok?" chris asked through the phone to which he got a quick "no" from y/n. they re-explain everything their boss had told them "I miss you so much but I also love Korea so much now and I know nothings confirmed but im still scared" y/n rambles. "everythings going to all work out y/n don't worry" chris reassures them.

"I know.. im sorry I shouldn't be freaking out right now" y/n sighs. "don't apologize" chris hums. "I cant confirm what will happen of course but youre strong y/n it'll all work out and be okay" chris finishes. "thanks chris" y/n says.

the two hang up the call and y/n goes back to trying to test yunho with no success. he was at work for another couple hours but they thought he'd at least be able to look at his texts. maybe he was sick of them already.

they tried not to think that way but it only made the thoughts they had in the back of their head stronger. he didn't really like them did he? who were they kidding.. he was too busy for someone as high maintenance as they were. they should have known he'd get tired of them.

maybe he was ignoring them to send them a message without actually telling them. that had to be it? did they do something wrong? did they screw up that bad that he didn't even want to talk to them. all these thoughts rushed into their head till they got an abrupt phone call from mingi that broke them from their thoughts.

"hi mingi" they say picking up the call. "y/nnnnn" mingi says excitedly. "what's up? hope im not bothering you I know you have work right now" he giggles over the phone. to not let him know the anguish they were going through they pretended everything was completely fine. "hi mingi" they chuckle. "yeah im good what's up?"

"just wanted to call you its been a hot minute want to hang out later?" he asks, y/n hears yeosang's distant voice telling him not to bother them at work. "tell yeosang I say hello" y/n hums. "sang y/n says heyy" mingi practically yells. "hi y/n" yeosang chimes in.

y/n got off the phone in a bit of a better mood. mingi always had that charm of helping them feel better. they decide not to think about the potential doom of leaving Korea and head home for the night. they send one last text to yunho wishing him goodnight before crashing and falling asleep.

a notification chimes just as they're falling asleep, from yunho..

extras!

y/n overthinks a lot

mingi #1 y/n cheer upper!

ty for reading!

pls fill out the taglist form if you'd like to be added <3

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[lordship-posts]

Im sure nobody cares but I have something to say. (God I hope nobody cares that much)

I gotta come out man.

No not the closet that happend a decade ago already.

I'm a RPF shipper.

Only for McDale but still, yeah, who woulda thunk one of the bigger RPF haters. Hah...

Literally something to it the more you hate on something the more you should check within yourself to see what's goin on.

As someone who wrote and openly shared and also insulted people from that community I firstly owe them a huge apology.

I am so sorry that I didn't get it. I am so sorry that i brushed each and everyone of you under the same rug. There are ALWAYS in every fandom these Fans. The ones who take it too far. But it's def not RPF.

Most of them actually are the only ones who manage to separate their stuff. It is about real life people but its also about a persona of them. Still someone we only know through screens or something, it is never to invalidate their familes or Partners and the ones who DO do that didn't get it and again are just these types who always take it too far.

Like every fandom has them. There it doesn't matter if it's the characters from the game or the guys playing them. I've seen plenty of people take Hansry too far as well.. like the unhealthy super weird route.

Bad apples are in every basket you know??

I got to see the other side for a bit and what those two days or so meant to me is beyond anyones understanding anyways.

Its like finally giving the book you always disliked a chance and BAM now it's suddenly as if you just learned how to fucking read.

I wish i could undo a lot of my past behaviours believe me I've got a list and am constantly reminded by that pre sleep cringe Marathon in my brain. But yeah. What else can I say really.

Hope I find some mutuals and if anyone wants to look at me, my Blog, my fanfics, my tumblr community in disgust now.. ey man. Go ahead. Been there. Done that.

Next.

It is so so tiring to waste one's time with hate and anti bullshit. Ship it all ship everything. Fuck it. Don't care.

Fiction is Fiction and YES RPF is still in a way on it's own fiction. Cause we don't hang with these people and press them together irl to kiss. Bad apples do that.

We don't harass them on every social Media they got.. bad apples do that.

Weirdos do that shit.

How is a app like tumblr or a discord Server personally hurting anyone? Come on.

As long as they won't get asked weird stuff in public it's all good.

#tom/luke who kiss everytime someone is posting a hate message on this ♡ haha.

(Not on this blog tho. And not on darkness-follows either. Over on @somethingaboutapples ) ♡

And no! This will not have any effects on my community. It won't mean I will post it there. And it does not change anything at all really, I just do on my third tumblr account what I always liked to do. Share stuff I love and ship people.

[jessicaslittlelovesickmess]

Lydia

Warning: Angst, hurtfic, hints of cheating, slut shaming

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader, Melissa x Gary, Olivia Benson x sister!reader

She hadn’t worked there very long only a month or so

Everyone loved Lydia the third grade teacher who almost bested Melissa Schemmenti.. almost but it was safe to say she made everyone swoon. Jealousy was an ugly accessory that both Melissa and Gary seemed to wear the couple both eyeing the new teacher.

Am I surprised to see you here with Lydia? Melissa thought as she entered the break room to see Gary and the woman. She’s oh so nice and easier to love than I the redhead wanted to slap her boyfriend for how easily his attention was given. As he eyed Lydia making her coffee neither noticing the redhead enter “how does Mel like her coffee?” She asked gently grabbing another cup down. “She should be in soon so I want it to be ready when she’s here” Melissa smiled at your kindness “im not sure” Gary scratched his head before refilling the vending machine.

But no, I won’t hold it against her

My baby, my baby the first person to love since she divorced Joe swooning over another woman so blatantly. Lydia always shrugged him off with a polite smile though you could see it in her eyes she hated it all the attention from him. “Don’t you want me anymore?” Melissa asked him once they were alone he avoided eye contact and that told her everything she needed to hear.

Her arms are warm the redhead smiled to herself as she relaxed in Lydia’s embrace both women standing alone in the empty classroom. Melissa let herself enjoy this moment of peace with her friend that she had just vented about Gary to.

Her legs are wide and so’s her smile even Barbara would be lying if she said she didn’t have a little bit of a girl crush on the woman. Lydia stood beside Melissa at the counter as she made them both another cup of coffee, she was the woman the redhead always wished to be.

She’ll take you on

Where I would slap you down and hide

Melissa hadn’t always been the badass Italian everyone knew it had taken years to grow her skin yet Lydia did it so effortlessly. Always talking back to the rude parents with ease and the sleezeball fathers constantly trying to start an affair. She had a confidence that captivated people that drew them into her so easily.

But no, I won’t hold it against her

Melissa was so used to having someone to smother to care for that once Gary drifted away she felt almost hollow. Though Lydia always promised there wasn’t anything going on and that the man loved her even if it burned to admit. Lydia loved Melissa but she wasn’t the type to break a relationship over such feelings so she stayed quiet and supportive.

Now wasn’t the time to jump into anything new for Lydia she was doing just fine being friends.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

My baby, my baby

Don’t you need me anymore

Her lips are cold it was now winter as Lydia walked into the break room in her layers lips having turned blue almost purple as she grabbed her mug. Melissa couldn’t stop staring at her smile the skin on her lips had begun to split slightly.

He talks too tired

To say goodbye

Gary would normally be almost bouncing off the walls just being near Melissa but now he seemed almost drained as he barely smiled at the woman. Barbara caught on she was a lot of things but she wasn’t stupid nobody could miss how he looked at you.

So take the time to reel me in and wash me out

But treat her right

And no, I wont hold it against her

Against her

Melissa knew when to call it quits Lydia had won a competition she didn’t know she was in and the redhead couldn’t be mad. The woman had done nothing she knew it all from her first marriage but watching as the pair quickly distanced themselves it broke her.

Lydia left for a while and nobody knew why she had just vanished for a week having Ava surprisingly cover her classes. It only lead Melissa to that sinking feeling that Gary and Lydia were going behind her back.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

My baby, my baby

Don’t you need me anymore

“Ms. Benson?” The young receptionist spoke softly as she entered the breakroom “yes dear?” Lydia smiled “there’s a woman here she said she’s your sister? She at the front office”. The woman nodded getting up from her seat unaware of everyone’s curious gaze.

You seemed to know all about them yet they knew nothing about you.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

My baby, my baby

Don’t you love me anymore

Melissa couldn’t believe Gary would even propose to Lydia without breaking up with her first she was heartbroken. Someone who became one of her closest friends doing that behind her back? She decided enough was enough.

Melissa had cornered both you and Gary in your classroom yelling about an affair that didn’t exist, slut shaming and name calling. She threw pens and pulled her hair, Gary didn’t know what to do and neither did you Melissa had herself convinced she didn’t care.

Angrily you stomped to your desk taking the small box out of the top drawer throwing it to Gary “i’m done” you laughed grabbing your bag and leaving. Only then did Melissa stop “Lydia was helping me to propose” Gary swallowed unable to meet Melissa’s eyes.

My baby, my baby

Don’t you want me anymore

Don’t you love me anymore

The next time Melissa saw Lydia was at the woman’s front door, the brunette sat on her doorstep tear stained and puffing a cigarette. The redhead felt guilty no she was guilty and she felt horrible to just assume such things and to act the way she did.

A little boy ran around the front lawn happily before another slightly older brunette woman walked out from behind Lydia. Melissa stepped out of her car warily as she made her way to the small group the other woman quick to meet the brunette ready to fight.

“Olivia it’s just Melissa” you waved off with a sigh Melissa? You never said her full name “what do you want?” You looked tired. “I’m sorry, I should’ve listened to you” Melissa played with the hem of her shirt “you’re sorry? Okay” you shrugged.

“I think it’s best if you leave” Olivia cleared her throat as she raised an eyebrow to Melissa’s truck in the driveway “she doesn’t need this at the moment”

Melissa lost Gary

Now she was losing you too

[gin-stan]

Marc's Birthday

This is going to be a little different. Im writing this from Marcs point of view and using third person as well?

This is Marc and reader thing sorta established relationship. It's kept pretty vague, so you can imagine it as platonic or otherwise.

Not beta read.

This is my second fanfiction ever. enjoy!

🌙🌙🌙

The air is cold; remnants of winter still left over, taunting us with the longing for spring. The winds nip at the face of a man closing down shop to a well maintained book store. His mind is occupied as he tries to convince someone unseen that, yes, they did remember to turn off the lights and restock the shelves, and do everything else on that checklist.

After finally convincing the voice inside his head to stop worrying about phantom chores, he heads home, his heart growing heavier with every step.

The sun is setting on the city, and the streets reflect the man's mood, solemn, and full of regrets. Eyes tired and mind riddle with thoughts of how wrong the day went and how worse it can get . So far, the day's only minor inconveniences as if someone's taunting him, leading him into a false sense of security, only to crash and burn when he least expects it.

Today is Marc Spectors' birthday, and despite being away from that place for more than 3 decades, every year, it's as if he's back there replaying the same old memories over and over.

Let's take a look at this tortured soul most hated day.

"I hate my birthday," Marc grumbled to himself.

Another voice chimes in, it's Steven Grant, "Yes mate, you've mentioned that already, all day, in fact..."

It seems this was his catchphrase this time of year. Anytime anything would go wrong today, he'd repeat that exact phrase. From the system malfunctioning, causing Steven to manually put in the books that where being checked out, to customers being upset because very specific edition of some book wasnt in stock yet because a manager forgot to order it. And many other small mishaps throughout the day Marc and Steven had to tackle.

Steven lost count of how many times it was said today.

If anything were to go wrong it was always on his birthday at least thats what Marc led himself to believe.

Thankfully, he managed to make it home without any more big mishaps, well, besides almost getting doused by a car racing through a puddle.

He comes upon the door to his apartment complex and drags himself up the stairs, hoping to just sleep off the rest of the day. He fumbles for his keys, cursing himself and his headmates for having so many keys and trinkets on it. One out of many was a pyramid, and another was a scarab, a reminder of a relationship past.

"Dont take your anger out on the poor little pyramid. I can't help that that shop had so many cute little trinkets! Besides, you picked out that scarab, remember?" Steven stated matter of factly.

Marc rolled his eyes, finally finding the key that would open the door, he suddenly remembered something.

"Oh shit."

"What? What happened?" Steven voice laced with worry.

Incidently, the other alter, Jake Lockley, has been unusually quiet the entire day but nlw stands more alert now ready for whatever has his headmate in a fuss.

"They're here... I forgot I told them weeks ago we could hang out today forgetting what day this would fall on...what if they have some big suprise party planned for me." Marc's now more anxious.

"Relax mate, they've never been the type to spring suprise parties on us. Whatever it is, it will be fine. And if push comes to shove and it gets too much, we're here to take over for you." Steven reassured.

"But-"

"Stevens been friends with them for a while now, and they've known you and I for about half that time. If they do have anything planned, I'm sure it's not something distasteful, " Jake interrupts.

"Oi, Where have you been? You've been awfully quiet all day, " Steven inquired.

"....around." That's all Jake said before he went queit again. Steven assumed this must be a tough day for him as well, so he didn't push further.

"Okay... okay, I'm good. Just get in and get it over with." Marc took deep breaths and braced himself.

He steps in and... nothing.

No crowd of people yelling, "Suprise!" No party streamers and balloons. No poppers; that once used, have to be picked up individually or swept up, but then that doesn't work, so you just leave it there on the floor. And now it's just a part of the decor.

Nothing.

Just an empty apartment, same as always. The only difference is he can hear the faint murmurs of the television.

"See Marc, I told you! Nothing to worry about!" Steven said chipper as always.

"Yeah.." Marc replied.

Marc takes takes off his shoes, giving a silent nod to Gus and the rest of his friends swimming about.

He walks to the living room and sees you lazing around on the couch, watching some old sitcom.

Marc stands there awkwardly until you notice him.

You turn your head and almost jump out of your skin.

"Oh shi- jeez dude, I told you not to sneak up on me like that!" You hold your chest trying to stop your heart from leaping out.

Marc sighs in relief. Happy for some familiarity after a day of uncertainty.

"Sorry, I didn't do it in purpose." He's say trying to hold in a laugh.

"Honestly, how the hell do you manage to walk so quietly on these squeaky floors?" You said a bit irritated by the sudden jumpscare.

You move over from your position on the couch to give him more room.

"Dunno, practice maybe," he shrugs and settles down on the couch besides you.

"Yeah well I might have to put a bell on you if you keep scaring me like that" you jest.

"Yeah, and with our luck, I'd come up missing in less than a day," he laughs.

You hummed.

"Oh yeah... I almost forgot!" You exclaimed.

Marc froze.

"Here it is." He curses internally

"Which movie?"

You held a few of his favorite movies out for him to pick from.

Marc released the breath he did know he was holding.

"Movie?" He turns to you in confusion.

"Yeah, a movie..for us to...watch?" You chuckled.

Marc seemed a little taken a back, but he decided to take the chance and look at the movies you brought over. Terminator 2, Robocop, Rambo, Seven Deadly Venoms, and a few others.

"Oh, um, how about Robocop." He said hesitant.

"Okay, you put it on, and I'll grab the snacks." You handed him the movies and started towards the kitchen.

"Maybe she forgot..." Steven proposed.

"Maybe.." Marc said a bit

"Isn't this what you wanted? No big fuss or celebration?" Jake asked, confused about Marc's hesitance on the situation.

"Is this what I wanted? Pretend like the whole day just never existed. Like all those birthdays spent alone never happened. Sleep the rest of the day away, and hope tommorrow comes sooner than later. If so, why do I feel so...disappointed? I-"

"Marc!" snacks fill your arms in contrast to the worry look on your face.

He snapped out of his thoughts and whipped his head towards you.

"Woah man, you good? You seemed out of it. I've been calling your name for the past 10 seconds." You raised a brow.

"Oh...yeah sorry just thinking..." Marc sighs.

"About what?" You set the snacks down on the coffee table and take seat on the couch.

"...stuff?" He said, reluctant to elaborate.

You notice a shift in his mood. Whatever he was thinking about must have been upsetting.

"Okay well when your finished thinking about...stuff can you put the movie on?" You said trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh..right?" He takes the CD out of it's case and puts its in the DVD player.

He takes a seat on the couch. You take the remote and skip to the title screen and hit play. You look at Marc from the corner of your eye still unsure what occupied his mind earlier.

"He was probably talking to Steven or Jake, hope I didn't interrupt" you say internally.

"She seemed worried maybe I'm ruining the mood maybe it's best if-"

Steven cuts him off before he can get too into his own head.

"Marc, you're doing fine, don't overthink things if there was something wrong you'd know they mentioned it. They've never been the type to beat around the bush."

"Nothing will go wrong today. Well, nothing else will go wrong. make sure of it. We've made it this far, haven't we?" Jake adds.

"Okay..yeah, alright." Marc replied whether it was of acknowledgment or just reassurance he doesn't know.

Marc tunes into the movie hoping it can take his mind off what today means for him. He takes a look at the array of snacks you've layed out and decides on the bowl of popcorn.

"Oh look!" You tap Marc shoulder excited for one of your favorite parts of the movie.

"I'll buy that for a dollar!" You repeated in perfect unison with the man on the screen smoking a cigar. It seems to be a in-movie commercial playing in some convenience store.

Marc sits up a bit as he watches in anticipation for one of his favorite scnes to show up as well. Robocop stops some band of creeps from harrasing a poor woman on her way out of the convenience store from earlier.

"Your move creep!" You say in your best Robocop voice, mimicking his movements on the screen.

Marc chuckles at your corny attempts to sound "cool" already in a better mood than earlier.

You both take turns picking out different movies to watch, repeating lines every now and then with the most serious of expressions. You both fail obviously, can't help but laugh due to how corny the dialouge of was looking back. Regardless, it still managed to hold up in Marc's eyes, a little escape from his...well everything.

The two of you spend the whole evening watching movies from way back when, seeing how they hold up to the test of time. At some point, you both stop paying attention and just end up talking.

Long debates on which movies stand the test of time. TV shows you both grew up watching, which Ninja Turtles cartoon is the best, and if Turtles in Time is as bad as people remember it.

*The flow of time passes*

"This was fun! We gotta do this again sometime, but binge watch the GodFather movies! Let's see if Peter was right once and for all!" You're keen on seeing if those movies are good as cinema buffs say they are.

"Those movies are like 3 hours long a piece. Marc scoffs. "I mean, if we can take breaks in between, then sure," Marc gatheres the scattered snacks that were left on the table.

You take the snacks and other trash out of Marc's hands. "Dont worry about that I got it! you just go and wash up I know you've had a long day!" You say as you drop the clutter on the kitchen counter to sort out later.

"Are you sur-" you push him towards the bathroom.

"Never been more sure of anything in my life" you say with a exaggerated smile.

"Okay but if you-" *slam*

You close the door in his face and prepare your suprise.

He comes out of the shower, dressed in his navy blue shirt and grey sweats with a towel wrapped around his neck. And you...gone.

"They must of went home.."

He then spots a box on the table confused on its origins he carefully pads toward it.

He sees a note on top of it written

It reads:

Dear Marc,

Happy Birthday,

l bet you thought I forgot huh? I was told by Steven that your birthday was a bit of a touchy subject for you.

So I decided to do this the day after and go about as normal.

Now it doesn't technically count as a birthday thing!

Anyway I'll keep it short and sweet.

In the box is your favorite flavor of cake. I picked it up for you at that bakery you told me you liked that one time. It's vegan, too, so Steven can have some

It's technically like all 3 of you guys birthdays so I got three candles. you guys can sort out what to do with them yourselves.

Had fun with you today and even more fun pretending like it was just another day. Wish I could see the look on your face when you see this ＼(^^)／

Hope to spend many more with you!

Love you!

P.S. Your gift will be arriving in the mail sometimes soon. Take a picture when you get it i wanna se your reaction p(^^)q

Marc smiles at the crudely written note and pulls a chair back to sit down.

He opens the box, and a heart-shaped cake adorn with chocolate frosting is revealed. It's decorated with white icing on top that says "Happy Birthday to my favorite people in the world!" With Jake's, Marc's and Steven's name written in a nice cursive font.

Marc takes out the three candles colored orange, white, and blue, respectfully, and carefully places them on top of the cake.

"We need a lighter" remarked Jake.

Marc rummages through the kitchen drawer and finds a.... sarcophagus shaped lighter. More than likely, something Steven picked up from their last trip to Egypt.

Marc dims the lights and settles back down, flicks the lighter on, and ignites each candle. Each one illuminating his face in a warm glow. Marc smiles to himself.

"See Marc, we told you today... I mean, well, yesterday wouldn't be a total disaster, " Steven says, proud of himself.

Marc looks over to the reflection in the mirror above the kitchen table and sees Steven's cheeky expression. Marc huffs, rolling eyes in a light-hearted manner.

"I'll admit it was better than most other birthday," Jake relented.

"Ugh, alright, alright, fine, whatever, I suppose this specific birthday wasn't all that bad," Marc said with a small smile.

He turns back to the cake and each of them take turns blowing out a candle.

"Happy Birthday to us!"

"Happy Birthday to us."

"Happy... Birthday to us.."

"Now, that's done. What do you think they gifted us? I hope it's a new bookcase! I cant wait til it gets here!" Steven excitedly rambles.

"Why would they gift us something only you would use? Unless your saying they're playing favorites?" Jake said teasingly.

"Wha-of course not-"

Amoungst all the bickering hes grown acustomed to and found solace in, Marc quietly thinks to himself.

"My birthday may not be worthwhile, but maybe the day after ain't so bad."

[anteatrrr]

hi these are my ocs

SOCIAL - (a) Shifting of Character—Internally—Ambiguous Location

“antsy we don’t want to see your ocs..” i know im just posting these to show that i AM alive and i WILLLII get back to my fandom things soony. sorry 😓😓😓very busy

u can ignore this post ^^” immm goingggg crazyyyy

btw they’re all aromantic. this is because i want them to be

YAP FEST INCOMING💔💔

Sunflower Helianthus Annuus (she/her) and Receipt Gratuity (she/they) have been friends since 7th grade! They hate being apart. Sunflower is very friendly, while Receipt is very reserved. Either way, neither of them see the importance in making other friends. Their logic is, “Why spend time with other people when there’s one who gets you so well?”

notes:

- Sunflower is a Ring of Fire Sunflower.

- Receipt gets 4 hours of sleep on average.

- The reason why they have so many classes together is because of Sunflower. She begged her counselor to change everything the second she sees they have far too little classes together.

- They’re not like obsessive about each other, just codependent. there’s a difference i think point is they’re just STRANGW i love them…

CT (Concert Ticket Admit-One) (she/her) and Steamie Geysir (she/they) have had a long rivalry—since 5th grade! Is it really a rivalry though? It’s more like CT makes Steamie upset to get her in trouble. CT has LOTS of “friends” to fulfill the need for attention she has (um parents), and Steamie only has her Mamma (Geyser) and her sister (Torrent/Lindarvatn). Steamie hates attention, while CT can’t get enough. Steamie gives her negative attention (which works), and any advisors that come to break their banter up also bring attention!

notes:

- The angrier Steamie gets, the hotter her temperature. She usually keeps everyone away, as in a certain vicinity they could get burnt.

- CT loves fish. She has a very large fish tank. Don’t ask me what fish is in there, bc i need to research fish. Just CT named all of them.

- The only reason why they don’t have one of those “No Contact Contracts” (idk if this is only my school?? tell me your school did these…) is because CT pretends she and Steamie made up.

Toothbrush Lauryl (she/her) and Tigerpop “Chroma” Lolly-Pop (he/they) don’t depend on other people to give them validation or support, they just focus on their interests. They met in Science class (8th), neither of them having a partner for a lab, being put together for groups. They found that they both loved biology and always partnered together after that. They became friends!! (9th) Though, Toothbrush doesn’t exactly care for maintaining relationships as much as Tigerpop does.

notes:

- Tigerpop loves entomology (bugs), Toothbrush just likes general biology. (i tired to give tigerpop bug-like legs did it work yay or nay…)

- Toothbrush has Type I Osteogenesis imperfecta (OI, or Brittle Bone Disease). She really should look into hearing loss, but she adamantly refuses anything’s wrong. (pls lmk if i mess up or anything disrespectful/wrong i did like hours of research but im still scared AHHH let me know; ;)

- Tigerpop is a triplet! Technically, they are all Tigerpops, that’s why they have nicknames. Tigerpop’s is Chroma because tigers appear green to their prey due to their dichromatic vision. im calling him Tigerpop for the main part because um idk my sister owns one of them and we share the third one i guess

[realrealcrazy]

I dont know how to talk about it.

Theres this quiet thing that lives inside me. Simmers. Smolders. And sometimes something rakes the coals up my spine: billows into the spaces between each joint and i can feel my marrow crackle and char with it.

I dont want to be alive.

Its not urgent always, i dont need to be hospitalised again. I take my meds and go to therapy and tick the boxes and see my friends and pay my rent and still and still and still. It burbles. I dont want to be here. I dont want to be here anymore.

Chronic pain is existentially devastating. This is the third day in a row i havent been able to sit up for more than a few minutes. I can stumble to the bathroom twice a day. Might lie on the shower floor to boil my skin and distract from the grating beneath of bones trying to rot already. Im so tired of being in pain. Typing with one hand, fingers curled still burning but wanting to have words anway. To exist outside of myself for a brief enough time.

It hurts. Being hurts.

Im doing everything i can, and it still fucking hurts, brings me to beg for oblivion over being inside this. Im completely sober and now again again again trying to resist medication combinations to weaken my connection to this form. Im being dramatic but it is dramatic. Its all consuming. I dont want to be the person who only talks about my disability but its all thats fucking happening for me. All the time. Im always in some type of pain. Static background or sirens its always there and i always want to die just a bit.

My boyfriend came over today after being gone a month and i wanted him to leave once the pain got bad again. I dont know what that means.

[greenplantlizard]

drive 1-6, type ZERO, type TV-KUN & 7-9!!!

starting off things with kind of a long post lol, had some free time today (also drive's where rider series really start having a million bonus dvds and specials and such so look forward to like two or three bullet points on a secret mission Type WHATEVER every few episodes :D)

one day, exactly 108 robots showed up and started causing an almighty ruckus through the power of time slow (kinda) until they were stopped by a mysterious guy and his army of toy cars

six months later,,, deep in the terrifying world of The Cops, a detective with a trauma meets a talking fashion accessory and starts on a mission to kill all robots as KAMEN RIDER DRIVE!!!

also he has a car instead of a motorbike, hold your gasps

my dinner based apocalypse

oh boy that's backstory

HAHA OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE JUST LIL TOY CARS HUH

anyways, my man has one hell of a car, and he's definitely completely fine yes definitely not slacking off as a coping mechanism nooo

ah i see we're going for more goofy here :)

this belt has a smooth voice

wow that's,,, some headgear and backpacks youse have here

friendly small car

your usual spider and bat motif

it's now time to DRIVE!!!

oh he fast, the spiritual successor to tokusou exceedraft (aka that metal heroes show where a bunch of cops end up fighting satan)

i feel like im pretty neutral on tire changes as a gimmick, like,, it's ok, nothing wrong with it

funky spike

holy fucking shit that's a rider kick

secret department of the special department

BECOMING a belt? what could he mean by that

both of them are using the traffic lights wrong

"both of you may have come from the same source" - ah shinnosuke's seen kamen rider before,,,,

kiriko would have become a kamen rider but management ain't ready for that yet

heart and brain

when shinnosuke finds a clue, he can enter the Detective Dimension to put the clues together

from now on im imagining him doing some kinda ace attorney gimmick in his brain

bringing a new meaning to "looks maxing" (i refuse to write that out properly)

catch me evolving

this car jumps like a mario

tire change that gives you some kind of rack to dry your dishes on

AN EBOY IS HERE

no time to worry about that, there's a guy out here turning people into lugi's mansion ghosts

shinnosuke appreciates the importance of rest

hmmmm, weird artist guy

y'know what, nearly being turned into a paint ghost would be a traumatic experience yeah

"there's no telling what power it could weild!" i mean he has big tubes of paint on him so i wonder what kind of powers he could possibly have

the natural enemies, paint and casinos

horrifying visuals on that finisher

why hello machine chaser

"GUN!" cracks me up

proto drive huh

gotta love going to the office with the information pervert

oh my god they're both roidmudes aren't they

the insistence on making everything come out of the tires leads to some very odd weapons i kinda love it

first rider battle!!! kinda, i guess machine chaser isn't officially a 'rider' but like close enough right

drive trying to quip so hard but no

this guy thinks he's so slick

i need to hear more about these toy cars' internal lives

steering sword has train slash vibes

starting to feel like this guy has no idea what avant-garde means

OH GOD THE DIMENSION CAB'S ABILITY IS EVEN MORE HORRIFYING

what if big monster that punches you

belt with trust issues

just some friendly philosophical debates with chase

wait he drinks explosives?

unfortunately shinnosuke is too weird and crappy today to become type wild

what's a little neurotoxin between friends

lmao i was also gonna ask if mr belt was referring to himself in the third person

meanwhile the special crimes unit takes down some corruption or something i guess

that head tilt, did chase internalise that?

type wild is certainly a kind of design

god i love the people acting like they're being attacked in slowmo

ah, our obligatory cgi vehicle battle

"so rinna's been our mechanic the whole time :)"

i wanted to wait a bit before watching episode 0, because it was released after the start of the series, so i figured it'd be best to watch it after the show itself has had a chance to set up the global freeze and the mysteries surrounding it

neo shade huh??? like the guys from kamen rider g?

this guy is some kind of batman villain

aw yea, it's gonna be proto-drive time

saying "let me down" while fuckoff feet in the air wasn't your smartest move

luckily protoman proto-drive was there to save you

it's the real one for sure this time :D

and then all the stuff we already saw happened

well that didn't really reveal anything important we didn't already know, not that i was expecting it would, but it was cool seeing proto-drive in action

second special dvd time and we've got someone using the name lupin already!!! the ultimate one, no less

fuck you: steals your toy car

why hello 005 again

but who was lupin,,,,,,, >:)

i do love the interconnectivity we have between all the supplementals material already

anyways, inevitable reporter episodes

yeah you can smash a steel beam into those load bearing columns and be fine

ok the photo gimmick is pretty cool

ah yes the other one is cobra isn't it, because of course it is it was that or scorpion

just once i want to see kamen rider do their "original monster reference" theming but throw a sarracenia in there

mr belt really said hey you tried dodging, idiot?

the mystery grows

jun loves a little ankle action

kamen rider monsters love their bizarrely specific modus operandi, ever since kuuga,,,

i think door gun is the perfect name actually

chase is definitely the most interesting part of this so far

i think the kids would say shinnosuke's first attempt to use type technic shows negative aura,,, or something

some riders are born cool, some riders become cool, and some have coolness thrust upon them

type wild actually looks kinda cool to me when i can only see it from the chest up, fun fact

ohohoho he's becoming soft!!! :D

oh my god and i thought type wild was certainly a design,,,, i was right, however, type technic was a fucking CHOICE

like???

my elizabethan ruff hello

OH MY GOD WHY DOES TRIDORON TYPE TECHNIC LOOK LIKE THAT

THE AWFUL GRABBER

A CRAB?

*hits you in the face with a 10-ton weight*

next time, a once in a lifetime opportunity to star in a movie alongside a god?

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

I just need to rant about my boyfriend so you can ignore this cause it's gonna be long

he's not a bad guy. he's not a bad boyfriend. I know he has a kind heart.

but COME ON.

I feel like I'm the crazy one here.

we talked last weekend and I gave him a whole spiel I typed out. I told him that I spent a lot of time and effort and mental/emotional energy to write out this long thing. When I finished, he was kind. he was understanding and receptive. But I told him that his understanding / openness doesn’t do anything for me unless he shows me with his actions that he actually listened.

So then last Sunday he came over and laid on my couch for a while while I studied. When we were gonna leave for dinner, he left the throw pillows from my couch on the ground. Just like always. Just like I've asked him not to do. Is it a massive deal? no. but literally just put them back! how hard is that?? So then I brought it to his attention and he was like “oh! wait! :) no! I’m not done yet!! :) I didn't forget!! :)” and he put them back. he was trying to be all cheeky and jokey but I didn’t find it funny bc its something that I have told him about a million times. Yeah, its small but like, just put the fucking pillows back where the belong? don't leave my things on the floor? It's simple. it's common sense- it should be second fucking nature.

He is THIRTY SEVEN! he should know better.

so I was annoyed at him for the rest of that night lol. And we had to have another talk that evening. It was kind of productive and made me feel better- but that's always how it goes. Every time we have these talks (which is often) I feel better after. But it never sticks. I'm not a confrontational person, so bringing up these kinds of things is not easy for me. It takes a lot of my energy and gives me anxiety. He knows this.

I expressed that I'm feeling very frustrated, very tired of these conversations.

So then he comes over this weekend (friday night) and takes a shower. After he got in bed, I went to the bathroom and there was some of his body lotion on the floor- like a few drops. Which, is bad for a few reasons. first of all, if my cat were to ingest it, it could hurt him. Bc everything is poison to cats. And i've explained this to my boyfriend a million times. second of all, I could've slipped and hurt myself. and third, that's just another thing he did that I had to clean up.

So I obviously was like dude, what the fuck. I didn’t get “mad”, I didn't yell. but I was clearly frustrated. Bc he walks around with his eyes closed. I have BEGGED him to be aware, to use his eyes, to be mindful, and he just doesn’t.

And I know he loves me but it’s hard for me not to be constantly annoyed at him when he just keeps fucking up. Like I said, the rose colored glasses are gone. destroyed. I'll never get them back.

He just keeps showing me that he doesn’t care. And it makes me feel like that bad guy when I keep bringing it up and getting frustrated at him. I feel bad for being so annoyed at him, for 'nagging' him. But im like, Jesus christ, it's been MONTHS of this shit.

Four months of me constantly cleaning up after him. Reminding him to do things or asking him not to do other things. Asking him to keep me and my happiness in mind. Asking him to respect my space and protect my cat.

It’s just so frustrating bc it feels so nitpicky and annoying, you know? But I’m just like DUDE. COME ON. I’m not asking him to move mountains or anything. I'm asking him to put things back when he uses them. to not put dirty things on my bed. To push his chair in after he's done sitting in it. etc etc. I'm asking him to be a normal human adult with basic manners.

And I dont know how many conversations we can have before I lose it

it's not fair. I have a lot of stress on my shoulders bc of school. And he adds to it by not making me feel cared for or respected.

it's so tough, bc he's sweet and has a great heart. I know he's a good person. But it's like he chooses not to use his brain. I'm not saying he has to be perfect. He doesn't have to like, vacuum my apartment or dust my baseboards when he comes over (I would never ask him to do anything like that). I just want him to leave my space either the same or better than he found it.

I've even asked him to frame my requests in different ways if it makes it easier for him to remember how to act at my place. I told him to frame it in such a way that "okay, if I do this it will make less work for hope" or "if I do this it will make hope less stressed" or even "if I do this, hope will be in a better mood and she'll be more inclined to have sex with me" (which is selfish and stupid and he shouldn't need to think that way- but I'm desperate).

and none of it has worked.

I find myself feeling so annoyed at him like 85% of the time, because we've had so many talks that haven't done shit. and its like, every time he comes over, I know there's gonna be something. Again, he does not have to be perfect.

And the things that I'm asking him to do are not hard or time consuming- I could very easily do these things for him. but I refuse to. I will not do them. I will not be his mother and clean up after him. I will not let him just traipse around my apartment leaving little messes in his wake like a toddler.

I need him to have basic respect for me, my cat, my things, and my apartment.

[ao3feed-peterparker]

It Takes Time To Smile

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MFWYQ2g by Charles_Dickens_I_Am_Not Loki and the team found a way to manage the branches successfully that didn't mean Loki had to leave. After, he went to New York in the year 2023 to find Peter parker after Dr. Strange made the multiverse forget about him. His purpose there? To ask him to join the TVA, of course. --- Mobius held the file in his hand up as a divider, trying to separate himself and Loki from the boy. "What is he doing here?" Loki leaned closer, going along with. "I thought he'd be a good addition to the team," he whispered back. "What team?" He asked, his eyes narrowing. "Our team," Loki replied. Mobius shook his head. "We don't have a team." "Sure we do," he said. "you, me, B-15, OB, Casey, sometimes Sylvie—depending on if she's in the mood to save the world or burn it down—and now we have Peter. He's reliable, I swear. He's worked with my brother." "Right, it's nice that you're making friends," Mobius said. "but he knows nothing about time variance." "Nonsense," Loki insisted. "He's met several of his variants when a spell tore a hole in his universe." "You do know I'm standing right here, right?" Peter asked. "I can hear everything you're saying." Words: 6031, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Loki (TV 2021), Marvel Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Loki (Marvel), Miss Minutes (Loki TV), Mobius M. Mobius, Peter Parker, Aunt May mentions - Character, Thor mentions - Character, Mj mentions, Hunter B-15 (Marvel), O.B. | Ouroboros (Loki TV), Casey (Loki TV), Aunt May Parker (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones (Marvel), Sylvie (Loki TV) Additional Tags: Fix it of sorts, Good Loki (Marvel), Mobius M Mobius, tom hollands Peter Parker, NWH is cannon, POV Third Person Omniscient, TVA, TVA | Time Variance Authority TemPad (Marvel), TVA | Time Variance Authority (Marvel), the tva is good in this, mentions of Tony - Freeform, Mentions of Aunt May - Freeform, Mentions of Thor, mentions of MJ and Ned, TVA tour, Peter parker joins the TVA, Because its good obviously, No pruning anymore, key lime pie, Peter prefers cherry, Timelines, Sacred Timeline (Loki TV), Peter is alone and screwed up, Hurt/Comfort, Loki sees a little too much of himself in the boy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Tempad watch, Observation Haki (One Piece), Supportive Loki bringing in strays, Mobius is tired but gets it, Some Humor, very melancholy, Yes Im adding a lot of tags in hopes of more people seeing this, Spider Bite, Self reflections and contemplation, lots of dialog, Mentions of peters parents, And his uncle ben? which is weird since toms peter didn't have one, ignore that, Feel free to leave comments, I like feedback, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I suck at tagging, But I'm good at writing, If youre still here just click the fic, YOU WON'T REGRET IT, Oh yeah I wrote Loki with my best British accent, Now you HAVE to read it, Okay I'll stop now, I'm Sorry read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/MFWYQ2g

[cosmikazie]

here's my opinion as someone who had little to no frame of reference for what Aether Ridge was before i played the watcher:

it all balanced out to being somewhat average to me. key word being BALANCED OUT, because this region had some pretty high highs and low lows in my experience.

Shattered Terrace was probably the coolest one to me. I thought it was a pretty fun region to explore and try and understand because it's so visually striking compared to a lot of the other regions in the DLC, with its floating rocks and dust blowing through the air and all that. i just wish gilded sanctuary was in the game too, because from what i've seen, that region's what this one was supposed to lead into, and if you ask me, it's a LOT more distinct than almost everything Aether Ridge has to offer (barring ST of course in this case)

Heat Ducts was also pretty cool. I thought it was fun to navigate, and it has a FAR more preferable implementation of the wind mechanic than anywhere else in the game (more on that later). its color palette is also very nice to look at. my only real gripe is the platforming area where you first enter the thermal relay subregion, because the triangular geometry on some of the platforming made it weird

i actually liked Fetid Glen alright, but i think out of all regions where you have to worry about food scarcity, this is the one where it gets you the worst. easily. i appreciate what they were trying to go for, and seeing it in action is cool, but holy shit i thought the invisible platforming shit was a bug. rain world already has some hard to determine platforming stuff, but that is just downright GRATING to experience. food scarcity and weird platforming aside, though, i think it's a pretty interesting region. miles ahead of salination, its alternative.

the surface is... eh. i liked seeing the snow return for this region, and i think the wind mechanic adds a fun challenge. i also like the blizzard lizards. but good lord, i feel like im just walking in circles sometimes. and for most of my experience there, i WAS. there were some cool setpieces, but when i wasn't in the tundra fault area, it was just a resounding "ah fuck. more worm grass" or "ah fuck. more tunnels" kinda thing. it just wasn't super appealing to me.

cold storage is like... the cooler aether ridge. i dont think it's terrible, but it's like... a rearranged version of the regular aether ridge region with more tunnels. the rot's cool, and it intrigued me the first time i was there, but that was before i realized i'd be coming back to this place multiple times. lorewise, there's more to explore there. but don't make me strip this place down to its rooms to find it. wind mechanic is at its worst here, as the rift access point on top of the tower forces you to fight the wind to even USE it. as im typing this im realizing they used the wind mechanic like, waaaaay too much during this DLC

the regular aether ridge is repetitive and annoying. wind's irritating, and the platforming's a bit dependent on this being the case. the only two things i think make aether ridge stand out the most in a positive way are the white acid and the moths. those are cool. visually. it's unique, but it gets old fast in my opinion.

SALINATION HAS ONE FUCKING INTERESTING ROOM. the rest is like if the worst parts of drainage system and submerged superstructure were turned into their own region. it's annoying at best, tiring at worst. salination is a boring, unrewarding region that only serves to destroy any benefit of the doubt you had left for the new barnacle creatures.

all in all, the greater aether ridge is... okay on average. it's big! that does NOT warrant it being like, a third of the DLC. i hope that, with whatever updates that come out (and NOBODY destroy my hope on this i want to be optimistic. i really liked the watcher overall and i hope that if they continue to expand on the DLC, as i hear that they're talking about, they expand on EVERYTHING) they add more regions that just. aren't aether. fucking. ridge.

AR regions include: The Surface/Tundra Fault, Blast Deck/Aether Ridge, Heat Ducts/Thermal Relay, Salination, Cold Storage/Station Annex, Fetid Glen, and Shattered Terrace

[dysfunctjon]

I feel so empty. I don’t know if I can pretend to be positive or anything anymore. I’m so tired of this cycle and I can’t keep going. I don’t want to keep going.

Everything is failing. I’m pushing everyone away. Nobody fucking cares about me or loves me anymore. I don’t even know the last time I’ve actually felt loved by someone else, not even my own partner.

I don’t even deserve that love anyways, and I don’t say that in the self pity type of way, but I sincerely believe im just an awful person. I don’t deserve the support or the love that I have.

I feel like a shell of a person. I feel like Everytime it almost gets better it just crashes down and it fucking sucks. It sucks so bad. Nobody fucking understands and nobody cares about me enough to even willingly try to understand. I’m so hurt about everything.

I’ve been distancing myself away from everyone besides one friend of mine, and that’s only because he’s readily available and is okay with me staying the night all the time. And now I have a weird dependency problem, now I feel weird when im not at his house or not around him because I can’t be by myself anymore.

I was by myself yesterday and I cut myself. I cut so deep in my skin that I almost reached the third layer of it. I broke my glasses and now they don’t even fit me anymore, they’re crooked. I broke my guitar stand so now I have to lean my guitar against my wall. I threw so many things, I slammed so many things, I cried until my throat was raw from screaming about how much I want to die in my pillow.

I want to die. I haven’t felt so suicidal in so long. I’m so tired of living. One of these days I’ll make my final posts on here because I can’t keep doing this anymore. I don’t know if anyone is reading these or even following me, honestly, but I’m not doing it for them. I’m just venting because I have never felt so fucking alone in my life. I’m not going to be here much longer

[blackvail22]

also (this is my third or fourth post within a 30 minute timeframe btw) my dad made me uncomfortable tdy because i went to my room when my mom started yelling (by coincidence tbh i just wanted to lay down bcos i had a headache and was tired and i have no couch/sofa in my living room) and when i went down for dinner he kept asking me "what did mom say to make you mad. i know her. i know you" and it truly just made me uncomfortable and unsafe and he seemed a little drunk so itd make sense hed do that and im scared that my dad is going to cross a boundary now that i confide in him more than my mom

what doesnt help is my past!!! i have been groomed online multiple times, and--i cant believe im saying this--lying about my age saved me once. i told them i was the same age i told you (sometimes id say 16 which was SO obviously a lie). this one guy, his name was pierce (allegedly), told me "my dad needs a photo of your birth certificate in order for me to keep talking to you" (this guy was 20 AT LEAST. why would he need parental approval?) because i lied abt my age and name, OBVIOUSLY i was panicking. i thought abt doing it ngl. i was like "how am i supposed to change my birth certificate to say im am who im saying i am?" and then i thought "how the hell am i supposed to access an important document that my mom has wo her looking through my phone again?" so i was like "no. i cant do that" and he got all mad and was like "well im blocking you then" and i said "thats fine. im not even supposed to be talking to you anyways" i remember the exact date and where i was exactly during all of it and what i did afterwards (watch the heathens mv by twenty one pilots, it happened the same day as publication around 2pm)

god, pierce was such a weird guy. i forgot about him until recently. i met him on minecraft after my parents "banned" me from roblox. in minecraft he'd make me roleplay with him but like... yk... it was weird. he would make us write everything in a book and he would store all of them in a chest (there was at least 40 books of this). there was a time (i regret this so deeply) he asked me for my phone number, and i gave it to him. from then we would text each other a lot, and we would skype. i dont have any recollection of him ever talking when on skype. i think he would type everything out, making it weirder. also, i had the squeeky little kid voice so he obviously knew i wasnt however old i told him i was (i think 16). also, i very much DID NOT look that old either. i still have the photos from then... i looked so young. i could see 12, maybe? bur 16? no. i had a power outage once, making me unable to use my phone for a few hours. i had a panic attack because i was so afraid of him being upset with me (he was) and he threatened to kill himself. i didnt want to do any of the things he told me to do. i didnt want to hear any of the sexual comments he would make about me. i didnt want him to talk about how much he wanted to make me have a big family and enact all of *that* out. i didnt deserve to be treated like that, and i shouldve listened to my parents when they told me to block his number. i feel so responsible for everything that happened to me back then and even with the more recent events. i kept saying no but he kept going on about it. i shouldve just blocked them. i shouldn't have kept him in my life any longer than b told me to. i just liked the company and i didnt want to be lonely again... i didnt want it all to end up this way... *that* way. if i think abt it, i wouldnt have been bullied so extensively or experienced that thing his friend did (and they both said i was a whore) (*side note i never talked abt the thinf his frkend did and i truly do not want to talk abt the specifics!!!!!) and sometimes i think theyre right. i still have the messages from last year when he reached out to me. "i cant have forced you to do anything when im online!!!" u did though. if i blocked u or unadded you youd blow up our friends forcing them into the situation bcos u knew theyd be on ur side and theyd bully me or find a way to con me into talking to u. if i told u no, i dont want you to do that, i dont want to do that, youd call me a bitch and a whore and wouldn't stop begging for it after i said no and making me do it/go with it to make you shut the fuck up. are there a lot of things i said that i regret? yes, absolutely. honestly if he spread screenshofs out of context i would 100% be called a whore, a liar, and that i wanted it. but i only did it to make him shut up n not be pissed!!!!! seeing his name on a church sign in my town makes me shut down every time. he traumatized me NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED he traumatized me, in more ways than just that one. it truly reversed my progression by a lot. i cant talk abt it ever because i feel like no one will believe me or blame me for it.

anyways this all contributed to the changing and and scarring of my perspective of relationships--platonic, romantic... theyre all ruined for me. i always have a wall up now, and my ex did not help that at all! actually made it quite worse. im more vulnerable when it comes to the things i like, and im extremely careful when i make decisions that involve other people. whenever someone is extremely quiet near me, i start to panic. whenever i talk about my day, im scared people will not care about anything i have to say. they dont have to care, but its nice to have ppl care every once in a while

anyways ive been typing for 20 minutes now bcos im on my phone. its nearly midnight and i have to be at the hospital at 9am for my prodecure that is at 11am. im terrified but its okay

toodles!

wait no song time

d4vd has so many good songs he's def in my top 10!

okie byebye 😁

[radioactive-mouse]

YEEESSSSSS YOU GET ME YOU GET ME ‼️‼️‼️‼️

“ever since giving up his quirklessness for a shot at becoming a hero he feels like his life isn't his own anymore and nothing is real to him and he has no choice but to be complacent” YOUVE MANAGED TO LIKE. VERBALIZE SOMETHING IVE BEEN STUCK ON FOR WEEKS OH MY GOD YOURE SO RIGHT. bc like. idk absolutely midoriya does have that very strong belief that positive change is possible and you have to fight for what you want but i think he would actually rather die than ever apply this principle to himself and exists in this limbo of like. yes i will do everything in my power to defy fate and make sure the people i care about are safe and happy or i will die trying. oh me? no i have to lay on the train tracks and get pummeled into oblivion forever. no yeah it’s just an immutable fact of my existence. yeah sorry. anyway.

AND ITS LIKE ‼️ that’s a thing i think irks me quite a lot with certain types of shinsou characterization where like. yes he has known an immense amount of struggle in his life and i think to a certain degree there’s like. a morbid sense of pride in that to him (i love him so so much but also he is kind of a presumptuous jackass sometimes. literally walked into a ring with a guy he has not once exchanged words with and goes YOU DONT GET IT YOUR LIFE IS SO FUCKING EASY and then didn’t speak to him for several months after. honey.) BUT ALSO. i feel like a lot of the time people make him very,,,, mopey? if that makes sense?

like. okay. picture me this. you are a member of general studies class 1C. you know from years upon years of watching this sports festival that no one like you has ever even come close to winning this thing. of course you and your classmates all sort of roll your eyes at it. sure, there’s technically channels through which general studies kids can transfer to the hero course. but like. that doesn’t actually happen. and then this quiet little weirdo who has barely spoken all semester goes. i’m gonna do it. and you all go ????? and he marches up to the hero course kids and goes. i think you’re all egotistical douchebags and im gonna knock you off your pedestals. and you all go ?????????? and then he’s one of two non-hero course kids to qualify for the second round, placing 27th above a good portion of class B and even a few members of class A. and then he places third in the cavalry battle. and damn near thrashes the guy who came first in a 1 on 1 match. as a completely untrained gen ed student. you would think this guy is fucking INSANE. LIKE!!!!!!

HIS FACE. UGH. SORRY I WILL LOOK FOR ANY EXCUSE TO PULL UP THIS PANEL BUT AAUUGGHHH. HES SO

sorry this kind of turned into me ranting abt how fucking crazy shinsou is from an outside perspective bc i love to talk abt it but ANYWAY ‼️‼️‼️‼️ THIS BOY IS ALL RELENTLESS DRIVE AND IM TIRED OF PRETENDING HES NOTTTTT

MY FELLOW SHINDEKU WARRIOR 💪💪💪💪

i saw ur pinned post say you’re open to music reccs so :333 stray italian greyhound by vienna teng is such a shindeku anthem to me it is THEIR song‼️

AYYYYYYY

okok ill listen to it and reblog one sec

[yestrday]

― YANDERE! GENSHIN ACADEMY AU. pt one | two | three | four | five

⇢ scaramouche, thoma, arataki itto, gorou / gn! reader

introducing! this academy has plenty of cultures mashing together, and what would it be without inazuma? hailing from the land of eternity, three eccentric characters join their fellow inazuman kazuha as well as your mentally unstable harem to fight for your heart. some of them… don’t exactly mesh well, but their goal for your heart to be theirs eternally are the same!

warning! yandere, obsessive & possessive behavior, unhealthy relationships, delusional behavior, scaramouche is here do i really need to explain it to u, mentions of violence, brief mention of collaring 

author’s note! i refuse to make scara anything else but the dirty lil grime boy that he is. he goes absolutely fucking feral, that man. killed off my teppei. lil shit im gonna punt u so hard once u become playable. Make sure u die next to signora and childe you fuckin shit. /holds up this 4’11 sonovabitch/ /immediately chucks him into the pacific/ mihoyo if his voicelines aren’t him cussing out traveler and bitching about every little thing im suing for false advertisement

— SADISTIC TYPE. scaramouche | 散兵

[ “hmph, lowly little thing. and what do you think you’re staring at?” ]

⇢ scara (derogatory). no redeeming qualities. pure fucking evil. he’s been a constant thorn in your side ever since you entered the academy and has been that way since forever. what sort of prestigious academy allows a no-name rat like you to enter, hm? it takes all of your willpower to not throw a punch at his face.

⇢ he’s not arrogant for nothing. although the two of you are in the same year, he’s completely in another level of his own. he can throw down the strongest of people in your school, is the top student in your level, plays multiple traditional instruments, and has abilities super-fucking-incomprehensible that you stop to think if he really is human. if only he’d keep his mouth shut, then his graded behavior wouldn’t drag him down.

⇢ when you’re seatmates… god, it’s just pure torture. scaramouche doesn’t need to listen to whatever these plebeian teachers have to offer, but he needs the attendance or else his big sisters ei and makoto will berate him at home and he’s too tired to put up with their shit. he likes poking you with the sharp end of his compass, or if long enough, will tug on your hair to annoy you. actually fuck that, he will pull on your hair no matter what the length.

⇢ if you talk back, archons, you’re in for a time. there is nothing he hates more than being embarrassed. he’s already had enough of being compared to with his third-year sisters who are oh so divine and elegant and charming and fucking bullshit. makoto he can slightly put up with, but ei? oh how he’d love to see her destroyed. everything he’s worked so hard for was natural talent for ei, and every time he had caught up to her she ascended levels he thought was unreachable. but destroying her was too big of a plan, so you’re here, under his hands, as his little stress ball.

⇢ how delightful :) he just barges into your home unannounced, playing the part of an agreeable young man and wearing a pleasant smile on his lips for your family. he watches in quiet amusement as you squirm uncomfortably on the sofa while they fawn over your supposed ‘boyfriend’ and how you shouldn’t let such a handsome man go. once the two of you are alone in your bedroom, the smug smirk on his face is hard to miss.

⇢ “you hear that?” he croons, taking your hands in his and pressing a kiss against your knuckles, as if mocking you with his gentlemanly play. “they say i’m your boyfriend.” the way he manhandles you next, how he makes you crawl and tug you by your collar, is so far from the act he was playing, but he still smiled at you innocently as he ground the heel of your shoe into your stomach.

⇢ what a cute little toy you are, really.

[ “now, now, no need to be so frustrated. you should be charmed to be mistaken as my lover.” ]

— MALEWIFE TYPE. thoma | 托马

[ “oh dear, i told you not to stay up too late, but you wouldn’t listen!” ]

⇢ always fussing and naggy, but never overbearing. he’s been with you ever since the two of you entered the academy, bonding over your similarity as two no-namers. you’ve both gone on to create a name for yourselves in your different fields, with you as a rising star and thoma creating connections that could envy senior diluc’s. still, you two remained friends these past two years.

⇢  whenever the two of you catch each other in the cafeteria, he’s either offering to share his bento box with you or treating you to today’s special. you don’t turn it down, only because you’re comfortable enough with leeching off him. he always manages to make you laugh with his stories, of how his senior ayato got him wrapped up in another of his schemes or how your mutual friend ayaka got flustered to the point of speechlessness. he’s cozy, for lack of a better word. like a fireplace you can’t pull yourself away from. 

⇢ thoma absolutely respects and adores you. senior ayato always tells you how much thoma fawns over you whenever you’re not there, and thoma’s bright red blush confirms that he’s telling the truth. you’re… just so perfect in your own little way! sure, you have your flaws, but thoma loves them about you. every time he pats your head, he can’t seem to fight the fond grin off his face. 

⇢ so that respect often translates to protectiveness, but to the most extremes. he cannot tolerate any sort of disrespect towards you, because who are you to deserve that. there’s absolute passive-aggressiveness coming from him whenever you come across one of your harem members who like to tease/insult you wayyy too much (ie childe, SCARA, xiao sometimes). but he can’t actually touch those people, because they’re close to you AND they’re under a contract. but to those who aren’t? hoo boy. 

⇢ he cleans them up faster than the kamisato estate. and as a good house helper should, he does it good. cleaning is his hobby after all. you could say he enjoyed the experience. while he closes in his victims, there’s his ever polite smile plastered on his face and cleaning supplies in both hands, though they seem to be a bit… bloody. well, no matter! he’s about to take out the trash, and that’s all that should matter. 

⇢ he enjoys taking care of you, really, but he can’t actually take care of you when you’re not in need of helping. he’s always, always warning you to look after yourself and not to do this and that. but somehow!! you managed to do just exactly what he’s warned you against. when you come to him crying and in need of help, he likes to put on a mother hen facade, tsking at you for your clumsiness (‘i warned you! you should really learn to listen to others!’) but you think he’s enjoying this a bit too much. the way he wipes down your body is far too intimate, and his lips close into yours sometimes. but you stay still. after all, this is toma we’re talking about! you’re being a bit paranoid, is all. 

⇢ it’s a bit sweet, toma thinks, how you cling to him and sob in pain. but that’s okay! toma will fix you in no time!

[ “there, there, you’re all grown up now, aren’t you? you shouldn’t be shedding tears over something like this!” ]

— HIMBO TYPE. arataki itto | 荒泷一斗

[ “wahahaha! little one, today’s your lucky day! i’m about to take you out for a ride!” ]

⇢ idiot. a loud idiot. sometimes you wonder how this manchild is older than you. he has challenged everyone— everyone— at least once. you’re pretty sure that senior tengu from the archery club is about to backhand itto into unconsciousness. he skips classes, causes mayhem, and there’s not a day that goes by when he’s being berated by the student council or being sent to detention. when he catches you in the hallways, it’s only a matter of time before he slings you across his broad shoulder and marches you straight outta school grounds to hang out with him and the gang. 

⇢ hopefully the teachers buy your excuse that you were kidnapped. 

⇢ he likes how enormous he is compared to you. to be honest, almost everyone is— it’s the oni blood. but there’s a special sort of charm when he places his hand on your head and it covers almost everything. you’re so light it’s entertaining. he likes catching you off guard when he sweeps you off your feet and into a bridal carry, watching you blush as everyone in the hall looks and your cute pleas and squeals for him to stop manhandling you. he laughs ever so boisterously. do you really think he’s gonna listen to you?

⇢ but despite his bullheadedness, itto is still the loyal and upright young man that you know. he doesn’t stand for injustice and his doubts have never faltered him. perhaps that is why, even with the chaos that he brings with him, he still has the admiration of many of his juniors. it’s hard to call him the bad guy, when he’s proven time and time again that he’d stand up for those in need whenever and wherever. 

⇢ still. least you need to be reminded again, arataki itto is an oni through and through. he has their temperament and their natural habit to mark territory. sometimes you think how tight his hands are around your waist and how you can’t breathe. and even though he has a reputation of a righteous fool around these parts, the way his yellow eyes glower at those who approach you while he’s around. to hybrids with more sensitive senses, it’s clear as day that he’s marked you as his, but to the you who was oblivious to all this scenting business, you only think that he’s being overbearingly clingy. 

⇢ sometimes (most of the time, actually), he imagines sitting you on his lap while the rest of your harem watch and stew in their frustration. he daydreams of scenarios where his large and rough tongue traces your nape and his sharp teeth break skin. he imagines you crying and begging him to stop, but still shamelessly pulling him closer to your body’s heat with a wild blush adorning your tear-streaked cheeks. there is an overwhelming need to dominate, an unquenchable thirst that he’s afraid will never be satisfied. 

⇢ arataki itto is greedy and short-tempered, as expected of those from the oni bloodline. and yet, he still has his senses. you’re lucky that someone who can easily crush your fragile body is one of the saner people in the group. for now, he’s content to make you laugh and protect you. 

[ “hmm, you humans really are flimsy and fragile ones, especially you. most of the time i want to protect you, but other times… ah–! forget it!” ]

— RELIABLE TYPE. gorou | 五郎

[ “as your friend, you can always rely on me all the time! you’re precious to me and i want to help you…” ]

⇢ one moment responsible and the next an absolute blushing mess around you, the sight of gorou never fails to put you to ease. although he likes to look like the cool and collected type, gorou’s tail and ears immediately spring to life whenever he sniffs out your scent. it’s adorable the way he sniffs you out from the crowd and squeezes himself to your side, offering to help with whatever you’re doing. his fluffy tail swishes back and forth happily, sometimes tickling your skin.

⇢ as one of the student leaders in school, gorou tends to be overworked as he tries to monitor the student body every day. so he destresses by seeking you out and curling up in your lap, letting you groom his tail and his soft ears. you remember the days when gorou’s pride wouldn’t allow anyone to touch them, stuttering and blushing as he insists that he doesn’t need to be taken care of. but now he’s obediently letting your fingers detangle his fur, leaning into your touch as he happily hums. 

⇢ he’s more than happy to help you out! anytime and anywhere! although he’s a little bit clueless when it comes to personal things like love (you catch the way he shyly glances at you before looking away), other things he’s confident! he’s a high-ranking student, and he’s happy to help you out in places you’re not familiar with! as the two of you study together, his tail hesitantly nears your thigh, quivering in doubt for a short while before straightening with confidence and bringing you closer to him. you giggle at the rather daring move, but according to the berry-red state his face is in, it’s obvious that it took a lot of willpower just to pull that move. 

⇢ his family is one of the many families under the thumb of the sanganomiya clan, a powerful religious family that also is in charge of the military might of their territory. as such, gorou is well-versed in acts of self-defense and… violence. of course, he won’t use this knowledge to his own selfish advantage! but sometimes… he listens to you ramble about your troubles, about the people who’s given you a hard time… it’s hard not to bring up the bow and arrow and shoot it through their head. 

⇢ he has a hard time reeling his violent instincts in. it’d be upsetting if you realized that he killed those scummy bastards for you. but he also can’t just stay still and let you suffer under them. he’s a fleet-footed thing, able to dart from space to space and never alerting anyone of his presence. whenever you’re around people he trusts (toma, kazuha, aether, itto??) he lets his guard down, but he can feel his fur stand on edge when someone other than them approaches you. he’s being paranoid, he knows. not everyone is out to get you, but he honestly can’t help it. 

⇢ when it comes to you, he lets his imagination run wild. two rings in a pawnshop’s window make him blush as he thinks about a full-on marriage ceremony. the slightest hint of your bare skin makes him faint from the nosebleed as images that aren’t quite safe for work invade his mind and leave him sleepless the entire night. the more he spends time with you, the more the littlest of affections feed into his imaginations and make him delusional. sometimes he has to stand back and remind himself of reality, but whenever you’re near… well, it’s only animal instinct to lose himself.

[ “a-ahh! don’t do stuff like that…! i-i might misunderstand you even more…!” ]