#IN MY DEFENCE there is a really long gap between him showing up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thesharktanksdriver · 2 years ago

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Blood's Thicker Than Water (Platonic)

Made this cause I love assassins creed and I hate how they left the plot point about Desmond having a kid from a one night stand. Like sure there’s a comic for Elijah but let’s be real, who here has read that comic?

Sorry if any of them seem out of character, I haven’t played the games in a long while lol

Also thanks to my friend for streaming the games so I can get back into them lol

You never really met your dad but from what your mother described him as he was….a troubled soul

Now to be fair you’ve never exactly met Desmond Miles yourself but from the stories she told it’s obvious he had his fair share of demons

Some of which seemed to spill from the cracks of his soul from the short time she spent with him

A bartender is what he was, until he suddenly up and vanished from said bar in 2012 and died not too long after

It didn’t really make sense then even to your young mind

The gap between his sudden disappearance and death leaving too much unsaid for your mind not to be annoyed by

But as a child you eventually put the thought away

Eventually you forget

Instead going on to pursue your next whim as you focus on the present, or in your case Learning about the past in the present time

Unlike your fascination with your father that went away, your love of history never faded with time

It just seemed to grow the older you got

Your not sure why but something about history just clicked with you

It was somewhere within the range of middle school and reading national geographic that you had realized you liked it

That despite how some areas of it were bleak and disturbing it was interesting

And it got even more so interesting as you delved deeper into the depths of libraries

Nose buried in books lined with dust and old parchment

Yellowed pages and old ink that you carefully decode from centuries of lost meaning and metaphors lost to the modern age

You studied from the ancients all the way up to Victorian

Easing your way though literal centuries of historical records as you soaked up information like a sponge

And it’s there you vegans seeing an odd…repetition of events that seemed to occur

Odd assassinations plagued each era you looked into, all of which connected somehow by people in odd dress

In some journals that had luckily stood the tests of time you uncovered more eye witness accounts

A solider’s log back in the revolutionary war talking about an odd man meeting with his superiors in the dead of night

The diary of a log master who wrote of an odd frequent visitor that had an odd blade hidden beneath his sleeve

The drawing of a Victorian child being freed from a factory that had a hooded lady and man on the rooftop

I’m one you found a symbol, one created from the bottom perspective of an eagle skull, something also commonly associated with these hooded figures

What’s odd as well is that with these hooded assassins you also find traces of another group

One well know to historians such as yourself

Oddly enough the symbol of the Templar knights keep showing up even after their annulment

It’s odd, but what’s more odd enough is that both seemed to be tied to other historical artifacts

Ones well kept in archives and from the public eye

Ones you shouldn’t technically know about if not for you sneaking into sections your don’t have the status to enter

Their always gold with odd symbols. Somehow always pristine and polished despite the fact their dated to be from before ancient times

They for some reason seem to call to you specifically

Tempting you with forbidden knowledge you wish to taste like Eve

But for now you choose to wait until you can do proper analysis on them without the risk of punishment

So you lie and wait

Admittedly you didn’t think anyone expected for you to be this good at your job

In their defence you were a university student here on Co-op and not an actual full time historian

Hell you were in first year for gods sake

But somehow despite it all

Despite the fact you had actual historians and people in the history program years above you here you quickly began to become an outlier

A shinning beacon within the large archive, so much so that you began being allowed in the restricted sections you already snuck into

Mind you, now properly allowed there with some supervision of sorts gave you much more flexibility in research

You got to touch these artifacts

Hold them in gloved palms as silk covered finger glide across its edges and ridges

You study them extensively decrypting and decoding the ancient texts and hieroglyphs

Jotting down what you found in both a report and your own personal journal

Your not sure why you do so but you chock it up to making sure no one takes credit for your work

And this continues to the point your eventually allowed alone with them

It’s great

You dedicate yourself to this task as you learn more and more

Soaking up knowledge like a sponge as you find out more of what was previously lost

Find new angles and perspectives on events

For history isn’t just a set time and date, it’s interpretation based on what we know from sources

And even then sources can be biased

Sources can lie and silence another person’s view on the event

Your more than happy to try make your own interpretations

Admittedly when you were asked to study what looked to be a necklace from these unidentified ancient artifacts you were ecstatic

How could you not be?

Intricate gold woven in something akin to Grecian jewelry

Yet also had hints of something akin to Egyptian

It also…glows? Or at least you swear you’ve seen it glow gold and pulsate a few times but that could be the sleep deprivation speaking

Either way it’s an honour

One you don’t take lightly as you study it

Spending countless restless nights and days trying to crack its code

An unknown source has been funding the archive and your research quite a bit

Betting big money on it much to your surprise and suspension

You get that this is potentially something big but it feels out of left field

Especially since no one knows the name of the company

It’s just under an anonymous donation every month

It’s sketchy

But you aren’t one to argue about free money to further your and your colleagues pursuit of knowledge

Not when this beautiful place used to be underfunded

Not when most historical records were donated by people with a good conscious

Not when this place was almost shut down

With a sigh you continue on your work

Diligently tact checking and writing up a storm

Your writing looks like chicken scratch but that was a commonality between all history majors

Well, along with being giant nerds

And it’s there at that desk at 3 am in the morning, tired and only running on 3 hours of rest you find something peculiar on the necklace

A sharp jaded edge that you absentmindedly prick yourself on by accident

With a groan you wipe the blood away on your pants

Then going up to get a bandaid

You swore to god if you died of tetanus you’d be positively pissed

Unknown to you the necklace starts to glow

When you get home your more exhausted than usual

Your limbs feel like their kade of concrete and your head is stuffed with tissue

Eyelids trying to glue themselves shut

You practically kick off your shoes before tumbling to the couch

Not bothering in changing clothes or showering for the sweet relief of sleeps embrace

So you flop down face first into the old leather cushions of your couch

Only putting in the effort of fishing a hand to grab a throw pillow and blanket from nearby that you burrowed yourself into

A comfy cocoon/prison you couldn’t will yourself to leave even as you swore for a moment you heard something in the house

But your mind writes it off

Your too tired to question anything let alone get up

All you want is sleep

And that’s exactly what you get as your eyelids shut

You fall into the realm of dreams, odd ones playing out in your mind

Blurred images of odd men

A weird void-like realm

The cries of an eagle overhead

A single word appearing in your head

Kenway

And then your eyes snap awake when the sound of arguing fills your ears

Yelling of several male voices jumbling up your already fogged up sense as you practically fall off the couch in a mixture of fear and confusion

Curses escaping your mouth when suddenly the voices go silent and your left in a realm of fear

Hair standing on end as the creaking of the house makes you more alert

Despite the fact you’d never fought a day in your life you will up the courage to grab a baseball bat and cautious cross to where you heard the commotion

Careful steps on the non-creaky boards of the home that you’d luckily memorized

And there you find several men in old garb

Accents of Red tying them together like a string of fate

Or a trail of blood fainting their very existence

they turn to you with sharp eyes

It’s the one in modern clothes that surprises you the most

The face of your supposed dead father staring back at you

Ocher brown eyes that had long lost their life now rejuvenated as they seem to find familiarity in your own features

Some of which mirror his own along with some of the others in the room

The bridge of your nose

A all powerful spark in your eyes as they flick between everyone and escape routes

The way your lip slightly twitches when you try to keep a brave face

Your posture as you decided what to do

It’s all too familiar to him and them in a way that isn’t just coincidence

Especially not when all of them are Kenway

Not when he had been able to prove to them that fact through the experience of virtually living through their lives up until his death

“I’m not sure who the fuck all of you are but get out of my house.” Your fingers twitch and flex as your palms grow sweaty, the wood absorbing the pressure and moisture “especially my dead dad look-alike”

You all but confirm his suspicions

Their suspicions

And it looks Ike for you tonight will be much longer than you anticipated

Turns out that artifact you were studying wasn’t just as normal one

Neither were the other ones you looked at

The way they explained it as was their “artifacts from dead gods”, a fallen civilization that engineered humanity into being their slaves

It’s a lot to take in

Even more so when your suspicions of something bigger happening throughout global history with those odd deaths were real

Oh, and these were you dead ancestors and dad somehow back from the grave and now in your home

…..yeah safe to say that’s a lot to take in after an already very long and tiring shift

You sit there as they explain this, half asleep, and half exasperated

Cause how the hell are you supposed to believe all this bullshit that for some reason feels correct

Something in you tells you that their right yet your mind is fighting that logic

You’d always been a logical person, when it came to most situations you used your brain instead of your heart

And in those cases things ended up fine

But now your faced with this

A situation where your heart is screaming for you to listen as your brain tries to take this all in

Cause logic is completely out the window at the moment

For now you have to trust them even if your still afraid

I mean, how couldn’t you be?

But you get the sense that they understand

At least a little bit by how their also thrusted into a new environment without much say

Perhaps that (along with your own apprehension) is helping comfort them as well

So for now they’ll stay

Your just thanking (the dead) gods that grandma and grandpa’s old home is big enough for all of them

Altaïr Ibn-La’ Ahad

The oldest down the line of your dad’s side of your lineage finds himself often reading through your books in your study

It was a bit of a surprise one day entering it to find him sitting in a spare chair but you don’t mind the silent company

Especially as he seems to find interest in your studies

Occasionally he breaks the silence and asks you a question about the subject he’s reading about

He’s by far the oldest (even if he’s back in the body of his prime) of them therefore he’s the one who has the most figuratively to catch up on

So you indulge him

And also asks questions as well that he seems eager in answering

Knowledge connects you both, scholarly intellect being the bridge between the two of you despite centuries of time apart

Typically he asks about thinks such as modern life and what is know about his home, what happened to it? What it’s known of his era

You answer as best you can

Especially since that era of time isn’t exactly your forte

But he appreciates it anyways

Appreciates that you try, appreciates that you passionately care about history in the first place

Admittedly your mom was supportive but never understood your love of history

She’d listen to your rants and long conversations with a polite smile but you knew she never understood what you were talking about

But he does

He does and contributes whole heartedly in just as much passion

It’s nice

What’s also nice is that he’s studied the artifacts you now study as well

So now your both constantly coming up and developing ideas together

A constant back and forth

Hypotheses, discussion, and testing

Delving deeper into discovery like you’ve wanted

But with this he also helps you see where passion and obsession mix together

After the loss of his wife and son he delved into studying as a form of escape

It drove who was left away

Made the pit in his heart deeper

He doesn’t talk about it often but he seems to see how you may go down the same path

And he warns you of it

Unlike his younger self (that he now appears as) he’s wise if a little rough around the edges

He encourages knowledge but not to the point where it’s an all encompassing and toxic obsession

Within the household he seems to take a somewhat neutral but quiet role

He helps out and offers advice and guidance

Much like a teacher and grandfather of sorts

Speaking up when he has to and making sure the house doesn’t end up in disrepair

He seems to have a fascination with modern appliances, or at least holds a thankfulness for them

Like a few others he sticks to his robes most the time but you’ve seen him sport more modern clothes once awhile

Stuff still somewhat reminiscent of what he wore before but with a modern flare. Things with hoods and draping. Silks and wool. Something with an accent of red mixed in

Sometimes when you fall asleep in your studies you find a blanket draped over you and a cup of tea at your side

He won’t admit it’s him but he’s the only one who knows your tea preferences

He keeps his worry for you deep down but it’s somewhat relived when seeing that you take his warning of not taking the pursuit of knowledge too far

“It says here there was something called the “French revolution”. Would you care to explain what happened here to me?” He asks making you pause your work for a moment, when he sees your smile he knows your answer. Sure he read some of this book and got the gist of it, but something about seeing your eyes light up at his inquiry makes him feel at peace for a moment.

“Would I ever!”

Ezio Auditore da Firenze

This man is quite literally all up in your (and everyone’s) business

Not in an annoy way per say but he’s definitely curious about the lives his descendants have led (both good and bad)

Ezio is very clearly a family man and it’s somewhat ironic to see since half of this household has some sort of familiar issue

Most of which is some sort of daddy issue stemming from either Haythem or Edward that trickled down the line to you

Something that Ezio is seemingly trying to wrap his head around

Out of the others he’s the one who opens up the most

Partially because you think he misses his immediate family and friends

It must be a lot to handle being away from home, now in a foreign land where everything has changed

Despite that though he keeps a brave face

Almost always flashing a smile as he drags you from your study to have some “bonding time”

You won’t admit it to his face but you don’t mind

Especially as he gives your poor hunched over back a break

And treats your pallet to some good old fashioned (literally) Italian food and not cup ramen once again

He tried it once and threw your supply out, saying he’d be supplementing you with food from now on

You can’t exactly say your disappointment or upset from the heaven that is fresh baked garlic bread and pasta

He cooks not only for you but for the others of the house as well, saying his sister taught him lest he piss off his future lady

Taking in their suggestions and cooking foods from their homes as a way of him offering comfort

Whilst he does these tasks he often hums in his mother tongue of Latin

You don’t have the heart to tell him it’s a dead language

Especially when he seems so happy that you can somewhat understand it

He’s happily rambling and teaching you words

Helping you sound out phrases and pronunciation correctly unlike your Latin professor

Some of his songs he lightly sings under his breath get stuck in your head since he has a good singing voice

But despite the facade you see the cracks

Sometimes you find him looking at modern objects mumbling about how Leonardo would have loved to see this or made something similar

Or how Claudia would’ve liked this book

How Petruccio would have loved this toy

It….leaves a bitter taste in your mouth

Once upon a time you felt this same type of longing for family

Once a time you thought of you dad before going to bed and staring at his old Polaroid with hope

One that would never come to fruition (until now)

It’s why you indulge him, to keep his mind off the deeper plunge of melancholy

Compared to the others he’s relatively open to modernizing

In fact he seems somewhat excited in these things

Raiding your wardrobe like a damn fashionista and critiquing what’s good quality

He also has a wide variety of looks, not sticking to something similar to his time of dress

Versatile and somehow up to date? Your not sure how but somehow he’s in fashion?

Like he must’ve found a copy of vogue or something cause there is no way he just guessed that this was the new trend

When you pressure him on it he replies that he’s simply that amazing

You call bullshit but have yet to find evidence

But in the meantime you ask get him to tell you about Da Vinci and you furiously jot down what he says

Sometimes when he looks at you he sees flashes of Claudia’s quick wit

It makes him long for home yet as he looks at his descendants and ancestor he also feels….something

A small pit of warmth developing as he gets to know the inhabitants of this house longer

Meet Altair besides through a weird vision

His home is in Florence yet that feeling of comfort from the Villa is bleeding into these old (yet new) walls

“So this painting is his most famous work?” He asks looking at your computer with a bit of confusion, his scared lips quirking at the digital image.

“Yeah. This is actually probably the most famous painting in the world”

“Really? Of all his works this one is considered the best? I’m not doubting his skill but of all his pieces?”

“Believe me, I get it. It’s only this famous cause it was stolen”

“Stolen?!? Tell me who did it! I swear-”

Edward Kenway

For someone who was a feared pirate on the seas he’s surprisingly much less violent than you’d think him to be

Sure, he’s scary as hell still but at least he’s not stabbing you in the back and making off with your grandmas pearls or something

Still your a bit unnerved by him considering you did a project on him back in middle school and he’s now in your home

Munching on some god damn biscuits as if this was a normal situation

His son Haytham avoids his as best he can but he seems to bond with his grandson quite easily

Or more easily than he does with Haythem

It takes some time but you eventually go to him when you find him awake at the dead hours of night

A whisky bottle in hands as he occasionally takes a swig in silence as he stares out the window

You don’t talk

You don’t need to when he drinks in silence for awhile staring at the moon before eventually talking about the guilt

In his pursuit of power and gold he let people die

Greed woven into his soul as he sacrificed good men for his cause

He changed and did good yet his past haunts him

Hands stained red

Guilt eating away

A son who doesn’t want anything to do with him

At some point when he stops his rambles you speak

Reminding him that while his actions weren’t good he changed

It doesn’t wash the blood away but it stoped more from staining his hands

Though Haythem avoids him Connor is more than eager to fill his place

It doesn’t fix his overlying problems but it does help

In the morning he ends up talking with you more after this as your initial fear melts away

You end up seeing Edward Kenway, not the fiercesome captain of the Jackdaw

You see a man burdened by past mistakes and still wishes to do better

You see a human being at its core

With history it’s easy to forget the people your looking at was once alive and a breathing being

One who was just as flawed as you and I

But seeing a infamous pirate captain cry about issues pertaining not just time him made you remember that

He isn’t opposed to modernizing but seems to keep a certain sea-like touch to his appearance

Clothes for labourers and something loose is what he normally sticks to

He’s lucky though since he doesn’t exactly have traditional robes and can incorporate what he appeared in with a modern flair

Occasionally when he gets drunk he slurs out old shanties and talks about his epic tales

You might or might not have freaked the fuck out learning that James kidd was actually a woman

Mind blown

Ezio and Altair had to drag you away from your computer from writing an entire essay

Sitting on your countertop he holds a glass of whiskey in hand, one held out for you as you sit down beside him. The moon casts its gentle rays and lights the marble slab you both sit on. “I prefer Rum but this’ll do” it’s said in a playful tone that makes you nod and take a sip.

“I can grab some captain Morgan later…speaking of which, did you know him?

“No, but I did find a few of his things laying about “

“Care to tell?”

“Aye, sure thing”

Haytham Kenway

As the only Templar in this house it’s safe to say he’s definitely the outlier of the bunch

A relative lone wolf from the group that all hold some sort of Ill feelings towards him

From his father its confusion and sadness

The others it’s a mix of that and anger

From Connor it’s just plain…well your not quite sure how to describe it

The two’s entire family situation is just plain messy and thick with tension that their blades could cut through

But here’s the thing, in this house your also an outlier

A neutral zone so to say

Hell, the entire house seemed to be a haven of sorts from their whole Templar vs Assassin conflict

To be honest you don’t really care about this secret war

Well that’s a lie you are interested in these war of secret societies but you don’t specifically care to get involved in their politics

Not when you have business in interfering in it unless a fight breaks out and your telling everyone to calm the fuck down

So safe to say your kinda the only one who talks to Haytham

He is…well sometimes he’s a bit of an ass (in the British type of way) but at the same time he’s good conversation

Specifically when it comes to that of morals and philosophical beliefs

He is a conflicted man

A flawed one

But he holds his beliefs and morals despite the fact he’s been hurt and betrayed by a man he viewed as a mentor

He doesn’t talk about it much but he’s still hurt

Still seething with venom that burns his soul and flesh

Makes him want to lash out despite his upperclassman appearance and attitude

That despite it all he loves his son, so much so he willingly walked into what would be his death knowingly

That despite what happened he loves his dad yet can’t face him yet on account of what he became

What ideals and morals he still believes in even now

It’s perhaps he’s venting this to you rather than a journal because he knows you won’t judge him unfairly on the basis of what side your own

Your judging him as a flawed man and as an equally flawed person

It’s with him as well you open up about your own frustrations

How you still don’t know how to feel about this all

The fact that a lot of what you once knew was flipped on it’s head

Along with the fact your not even sure how to address your dad

It’s an entire mess but perhaps your both messed up together and that also draws you both to talking

To discuss your feelings of insucurity and confliction

To feel comfort that your not alone in not having your emotional shit in order

On some especially…emotional nights you both both have a cup of tea

He seems to enjoy that each time you use a different type, much of which used to be hard to obtain due to shipping and it’s prices

He hasn’t really yet grasped modern technology but your slowly helping him with it

It’s kinda like trying to teach a grandpa to figure out a phone, but now it’s him with the concept of a microwave

Like some of the others he’s yet to really also change his clothes to something modern

There has been a few times though he sported sweaters and vests

Your now working on helping his wardrobe since he prefers a sophisticated look

Occasionally he looks at the photos that line your walls, looking as you evolve through the ages

It’s…odd

With Connor he never had the chance to watch him grow

Never a snapshot to immortalize what he was like a child but now ones of you litter the walls like paintings

He feels melancholy

Yet at the same time he’s happy to get another chance maybe

One that is seemingly being helped by your gentle hand unknowingly

“I never thought about it until now but the stars are different” he says taking a sip of his matcha tea, he lets it pool on his tongue and experience the flavour. Not his favourite but not the worst

“That’s cause of light pollution here…though the stars do move so it it’s possible they’ve shifted position in the sky”

“Do they teach you about the stars in your schooling?”

“Yeah I took some. Not sure why, it just kinda spoke to me. Maybe it’s the Kenway blood”

Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor Kenway

Of the group Connor is the most quiet and surprisingly the one whom you connect with the best for some reason

Perhaps it’s cause your both socially awkward in ways that let you relate

Or the fact you’ve both been ostracized by society for various reasons

His company is that of a quiet one but one you accept it with ease as you both sit and enjoy each others company

A quiet kinship made of unspoken but understood words from one another

The reminder that someone else is there and your not truly alone

He is perhaps the one you feel you can understand the most

And it’s the same likewise for him

Your both people deeply hurt and still bleeding internally

People raised by only their mother in a cruel and harsh world

People who were let down one way or another by their father

People who are still mad and angry but use that to further their determination

It’s odd but you feel truly understood

Like your soul was peeled back to reveal at your core your still a lone spirit lost in the world

One clinging to what they know as their only lifeline in this confusing and jumbled mess of a situation

The hulking 6 foot 2 man shows you trails near your home

Taking to the forest paths you’ve know your entire life and helping you discover even more about them

And while he does this he teaches you more about the world as you both walk the old beaten path

He tells you how to identify what type of tree is which, which stones are likely geodes and what tracks belong to who

It’s honestly petty interesting especially since he adds snippets of stories from his heritage

In return you talk about what you know as well

Snippets of your own knowledge that he seems to store into his mind just as you do with his stories

An equal exchange of sorts

On these walks you begin to notice he takes you out on these when your at your most stressed

The times in which your mind is overworking and consuming itself with anxiety

The times in which you need to breath

Connor doesn’t seem like one to vocally express his care but he does so through action

Small inconspicuous actions that mean a lot more than what meets the eye

It’s seems that his towards you is helping you when you need it most

Taking you away to just take a moment for yourself

To just breath in the fresh air and let the sunset coloured leaves of autumn crunch under your boots

Letting the cold breeze take away your worries

It’s perhaps better than any type of verbal support

Yet another unspoken action of care and compassion through knowing and watching

Of watching and knowing when you need a break

When you realize this and give him a small tired smile as a thanks he seems to know

Only giving a small nod with a minuscule smile of his own

It only grows bigger when you begin to ask him if his traditions, of the stories and practices of his people that he’s more than willing to tell when he knows you ask out of genuine curiosity and respect

Connor is somewhat 50/50 in modernizing

He adapts quite well but still needs help with certain things as he navigates the situation

But like usual he is anything but resourceful as he watches what you do and figures it out

He helps the others quite a bit with what he’s picked up and somewhat takes pride in the fact he can help them

Whilst he’s privy to wearing his robes he isn’t against more modern clothes

The only problem though is sometimes finding stuff that fits him considering he’s not only a giant but also fairly muscular

But your both eventually able to find some stuff for him to wear that he likes

He really appreciates though that you try to buy clothes and jewelry from nearby indigenous peoples

It might not be his but he appreciates the sentiment and familiarity that the beaded jewelry give him

“I’ve lived here my whole life and walked down these paths a thousand times yet it seems more like your the local here” you say with amusement as you follow Conner through an area you’d be never been before.

He smiles, it’s small but there as he adds “just a matter of perspective. You see the paths your used to and I see ones you hadn’t noticed”

Desmond Miles

Yeah so this is entirely awkward for you

Like how the fuck do you emotionally deal with this and the fact your very dead dad who didn’t know you existed till now is now very alive

And living in your house with his very dead ancestors that are also now alive

Case and point you don’t, specifically you ignore the problem and act like everything is fine

You lock yourself away and try to avoid him like the plague

Somehow Scurry past him and into the kitchen to grab something before returning to your abode to eat

But then things got complicated

Things change

You began talking to the others

Slowly coming out the darkness of your study and joining the dinner table

But you still try to avoid him

It feels like the sight of him burns your mind, all those nights as a kid coming back to you

The hope and then disappoint in learning he died and that he likely never wanted you

Your mother never said this but the other kids did. They always teased and picked at the fact you were a mistake

It’s why you push so hard now to be the best, To prove them wrong (to prove to yourself that your worth existing)

The fact is that now he’s here and you don’t know how to deal with that

How would you even start?

What do you even say to him?

You quiet down when he enters a room because you don’t know what to do

Whatever your about to say dying in your throat like a caged bird and all that came come out are garbled noises as you evade him

Eyes casting down to your hands like a child averting their gaze from their parent when in trouble (he is your dad so it’s the same thing right?)

Leaving the room he’s in as quickly as you can once a take is done

The others notice quick, I mean how can’t they? A damn butter knife can cut through the tension

The whole thing with Haytham and Connor is less tense than this

But what can you even do?

How in thick do you talk to him and how can he even talk to you?

Your 18 and in university, he’s 25 and was a bartender in New York before apparently sacrificing himself for the world

He’s closer in age to being a big brother rather than your dad.

But even besides that he’s been long dead and gone since 2012

It’s been years since that point and more importantly he’s someone important and your not

He’s an assassin born to a bloodline of other assassins

Someone who was raised in this tradition with greatness not only in his origin but also in his death

And your you

A child born from a one night stand who’s only achievement is being good at knowing about old people

It hurts but it’s true

If he’s a star then your a candle compared to his light

A mere blip or spark to the greater picture

There had been times he looked like he wanted to say something but you scurry away before he can say anything

Sometimes you catch the looks and small gestures Ezio tries to make as if to encourage him to go up to you

How Connor sometimes brings up to you how he wishes for reconciliation with his dad and that perhaps it’s possible with your own

Altair not beating around the bush and plainly telling both him and you to talk

But it all feels for naught and dies when those feelings and thoughts return

But eventually he corners you

Well not really corners you per say but he catches you as you leave your study after a talk with Altair

“Listen I don’t have any grudge against you. For one you died, I’d be a dick if I blamed you for that or your decision to save the world and whatever. Second you didn’t know about me in the first place” you say briefly looking up at him before averting your gaze, he looks like he wants to say something but he can’t get a word out before you continue “but you don’t have to act like my dad or anything. You never asked for me, it was a mistake, I was a mistake and I’m fine with it.” (Your lying to yourself)

You leave before he can get a word out, and he’s left alone in the hallway. When he returns to Ezio he just sits down in silence. It’s enough for everyone to know I didn’t go the way he wanted.

Admittedly when you begin to notice odd figures at the achieves you write it off

I mean it could literally be anyone plus the supervisors aren’t making a fuss about them here

If anything their welcoming them and looking at them with hopeful eyes

Small glances full of opportunities in them

It’s odd but maybe their just some non-profit here to support the archive

Or even private benefactors of sorts

But then they turn their attention to you

Plastic smiles on their faces, artificial pleasantries as their main spokeswoman sits in front of you in a slick suit

Her stilettos tapping against the ground as your eyes trail to her bodyguards of sorts

They stand not too close nearby

Watching

Waiting

And then she begins talking

And slowly you grow more and more uncomfortable

Hands playing with one another, fingers twitching in your palm as crescent are indebted in your skin

They apparently are interested in your findings

In your research

But more specifically you

They’ve researched you…a lot

Down from where your mother was born to her great great something grandfather

And your father

…but that’s not public knowledge

It wasn’t even on your birth certificate

This….this isn’t

She smiles though now the darkness melts away into something more knowing

Dangerous and sadistic of sorts

And it’s there on her little pin showing her name you recognize the logo

Within your house you’d vaguely heard whispers of the others talking in hushed tones

You didn’t mind

The less you know the better in that sense

Out of sight and out of mind

But sometimes you’d hear the mumbles of a name that you didn’t put together until now

One spat with venom just as they did with the word of the Templar

Abstergo

You barely have time to react before your black bagged and sufficiently knocked out

Mind drifting to that of panic

What would happen to you?

What will happen when the others find out?

But then those thoughts fade away into the dark void of sleep

When you wake up things are odd

Everything is a sterile white and too bright for your foggy sleep tinged eyes

The room is blurred as is your senses as you weightlessly drift

Everything feels odd

And then it happens sharp and pure pain that leaves you writhing and screaming into the void

And that’s when you notice that white light had left and your in a void of sorts

Empty glitching effects all around you as your left to look around in confusion until you see something

A memory? Specifically one of your memories

Your staring at a simulation of sorts of your past self

A 8 year old in their bed with chubby cheeks pulled up into a melancholy smile

You recognize this moment, your small hands holding a picture that had long been put away into a scrapbook and forgotten

Your left wordless and confused

And then that bitch’s voice appears again and she explains

This entire thing is a simulation of your memories

And essentially their gonna go through your head picking through them to not only learn what they want but then use you as their lab rat cause of your bloodline.

Cause apparently memories of your ancestors could be accessed that way and it was generally easier to have a descendant rather than finding objects and artifacts

And it’s there in that simulation it feels like your mind is being ripped apart

Memories ripped from your mind to play out in front of you as she makes comments and documents them before their forced back in and another is ripped out

Like book having pages torn out and then crudely stitched back in

It hurts so damn much

Over and over

Your just left in screaming again on the ground of this simulated world as she makes idol comments

Left begging for it to stop

For someone to help

For the love of god someone help you make it stop

Of course this would happen to you

You’ve always had shit luck despite your whole family motto being “make your own luck”

What utter bullshit

You can’t make good luck from bad

Can’t just change things when the scales are already tipped one way

But then like a miracle from above she goes quiet and suddenly the memory is gone

And your left in the void still reeling from it all

Still on the glitching ground before once more white encompasses your view

Blinding and bright as your still recovering

And then an unfamiliar voice tunes in

“Your safe” it’s heavily accented, in an Irish twang that’s soft as he says these words to you. A reminder that your ok now, it’s over. “Can you walk?”

You try to look at him with squinting eyes yet they still can’t adjust, your limbs feel heavy like solid rock. Unmoving even as you try. With some difficulty you shake your head

“Aight, I’ll have you carry you then. Are you alright with that?”

“Just get me out of here…please. I just want to go home, I miss my family” it sounds pathetic but as tears begin to fall the stranger doesn’t seem to think Ill of you.

“Don’t worry, I get what that’s like.” The tone is sympathetic and like before is soft “you’ll be home I no time, I promise”

You think for a moment before responding “I trust you”. For a second you feel him go still at that before he picks you up.

For awhile there’s buzzing alarms and panic as your saviour gets you out whoever’s you were taken too

There’s not a moment of silence as he sharply runs and dodges past what you think to be gunshots

Occasionally he grumbles something but for the most part he seems calm

Composed despite the chaos of it all

So much so that it makes you wonder if this is an average Tuesday for him

There’s so much shout and yelling for your already pounding head

But sometimes the yells are silenced as the sound of a blade cuts it short

Footsteps far behind eventually stopping

Sirens getting more and more distant and allowing you and the man to breath

It’s there in the pocket of silence you learn his name

Shay

It sounds familiar, like really familiar yet you can’t put your finger on it

Either way your grateful because how can you not be?

Your away from that place

Away from the torture of having your mind picked apart like a lab experiment

Having the privacy of your memories looked at and prodded

But now your somewhat okay

Your eyes feel weird, your vision feels weird like it keeps switching between something

Your at least somewhat able to walk though it’s unbalanced

but Shay doesn’t seem to mind

He offers an arm that you cling to for support

A kind smile on his face as he makes sure you didn’t injure yourself further

And then you notice his clothes are….old

Like Haytham and Connor level old

And…shit

It’s halfway home through the trails you recognize due to Connor that your vision changes

The world feels bigger as if your third eyes opened or something

Shays figure and presence is highlighted in a clover green

And perched nearby is another green figure, one waiting for a good moment

Shay follows your sight before promptly having to duck out the way from a knife that flies at his head

He pushes you back behind him, you stumble back vision switch between monochrome and normal as someone else grabs you

Instinctively you almost yell before realizing who was now helping keep you steady

And the other person now attacking Shay

“Connor! He’s good! He saved me!”

“He’s a Templar!”

“So is Haytham and you haven’t killed him…again have you!”

At that Shay pauses, turning to look at you with confusion as Connor stops his attempt as slitting his throat

Ezio on the other hand helps you up but keeps a firm protective grip

Watching Shays movements like Connor in apprehension before the two settle down and stare at you for more detail

Both waiting on your word

“He saved me and today has been a long ass day-“

“You’ve been gone for 4 days”

You pause momentarily at that before adding “long 4 ass days of having my mind literally ripped apart. Can we please head back to the house and settle this there? Thank you”.

The moment you get back your almost immediately tackled to the ground by a familiar white and red hoodie wearing absent (dead) father

It’s….odd but nice

Desmond (still feels too awkward to call him dad) is holding you like a lifeline and you notice bags beneath his eyes

He looks like hell

But none of the others are any better either

They all like positively exhausted yet light up when seeing your safe

Your home

It reminds you of your mom when you returned home from school

The long work day evident on her brow but her smile lighting up the room at the sight of your face

It’s no different compared to then except for the fact they all (except Haytham) then protectively pull you away from the nearby Shay who’s being glowered at by Connor

Safe to say it’s a little awkward until you somehow pull free of Desmond’s death grip hobble your ass between the two lone Templars and Assassins

A long discussion having to take place between them all as you not only explain what happened but also it seems you all forget one crucial thing

It seems you forgot about your mom’s side of the family

Whoop de Doo you have more things to process and so does everyone else here

Specifically Connor and Haytham Because before apparently knew (or know of) Shay

Great, another complex relationship in this household like there needed to be more of that

But with this entire situation it also highlights something bigger

Your not safe

None of you are safe

Perhaps you never truly were

And that in turns leaves you with the difficult decision of what to do next

Because In this difficult game of politics between two ever warring groups your a neutral force

You wanted to stay that way but unfortunately fate had other plans

as your drug into this game your left with limited options of sides for not only yourself but for the others who seem keen on following you

Even the two (former?) templars seem to follow your decision

So When Des…er your dad suggests finding his old friends it seems like the best option

It’s either that or be kidnapped and prodded again and who knows what abstergo will do to everyone else (even one’s that once upon a time we’re on their side)

Besides, he says you’ll get along well with someone named Shaun so It can’t be too bad

So he sends out a message and you leave the home you find yourself look at with melancholy

It stopped being a home when mom died but now it seemed like it was just that again

Only time can tell what will bring upon you next

But….you think you’ll be ready for whatever is thrown at you when you have this odd group of family at your side

The expression of blood is thicker than water never really held much weight since you only ever had your mom until she was gone

But maybe you understand it a bit better now

#platonic #assassins creed x reader #assassins creed imagine #desmond miles x reader #ezio auditore x reader #ezio x reader #altair x reader #connor kenway x reader #haytham kenway x reader #shay cormac x reader #edward kenway x reader

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the-chosen-fanfiction · 4 months ago

Text

Jesus | The Good Shepherd | Platonic

When a group of strangers shows up at your door, asking for shelter, you don’t have the heart to turn them away. Inside the barn where they can stay for the night, you discover just Who this Rabbi is.

Requested by Em

Judas sighs heavily as he rubs his brow, exhaustion heavy under his eyes. “I’m so tired,” he complains, “That I could sleep like a baby.”

“Don’t you mean like a brick?” Nathanael pipes up, “I mean, if you were to sleep like a baby, you’d wake up every three hours, poop your pants and puke all over yourself.”

The keeper of the purse rolls his eyes, “Ha, very clever. Like a brick, then.” Nathanael gives a smug smirk as Judas corrects the mistake, but the smile falls just as fast.

“Yeah, me too, honestly. I don’t recall ever being this tired.”

“You say that after every long trip,” Big James protests, raising an eyebrow, Nathanael showing his palms in defence. “But I agree that I could also use some rest.”

The road from the Decapolis back to Capernaum has been long and tedious and the next town is far from near. Little James is in dire need of sitting down and at least half of the Disciples have bleeding blisters from where their sandals have been chafing against their feet for hours on end with no time to recover.

“Can’t we set up camp somewhere?” Andrew suggests, Jesus turning to him and smiling.

“I didn’t take you for a mountain goat,” the Messiah quips.

As he lets his gaze go over to the sides of the road, Andrew indeed notices the steep hills and slopes that hardly prove convenient to set up a tent, let alone build a fire. The younger son of Jonah sheepishly smiles. “Well, maybe not.”

“Perhaps there,” Simon Peter suggests, nodding towards a small homestead that stands on a steep cliff. A few sheep are grazing just outside. “A farm. I think they’d have some room for us, yeah?”

“You have sharp eyes, Peter.” Jesus compliments, “Come on, let’s give it a go.”

The group sets out towards the small farm. “It’s… Really small…” John says.

“Quite cosy.” Peter adds with a grin. “Maybe you could sleep between the sheep, snuggle them a bit.”

John lets out a fake laugh and rolls his eyes. The followers fall quiet in their chatter as they walk up to the front door, Jesus walking out in front of them to knock on the wood. “Shalom!” He calls out, “Is anyone home?”

A few beats of silence until the sound of someone fiddling with a lock breaks the quietness. “Wait, that’s not the right key…” comes a muffled feminine voice from the other side. “Aha!” A click is heard in the air and the door creaks open, the hinges long overdue for some oil. “Who is there?” One curious eye comes from the gap.

“We are unarmed,” Jesus calmly states, putting a hand on His chest. “My Name is Jesus, and these are My students. We are looking for a place to sleep, but the hills are too steep to set up camp, and the next town is too far away to travel to at this time of day.”

You push the door open further as your eyes roam cautiously over the group of followers, a few kind smiles being directed your way. They seem to indeed have no weapons on their form, even a few women amongst them. “You’re Jews.”

“We know.”

Your eyes snap back to Jesus. “I’m a Roman.”

“I know.”

There is something in His gaze that makes you give in to the request, your guard lowering as you straighten your back. Slowly, you step aside to push the door further open to reveal the pokiness of your home. “I don’t have enough room in here to accommodate you all,” you whisper, “But we have a barn.”

Jesus chuckles gently. “I’m not entirely unfamiliar with sleeping in those.” You tilt your head in slight question, but He waves it off. “Long story. Anyways, would you mind us using it? We will be on our way at the crack of dawn.”

“I would ask my father, but he’s out on duty,” you tell Him. “I’m fine with it, provided you don’t harm the sheep and clean up after yourselves.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Jesus says gently, “I love sheep, I use them in My teachings all the time.”

A soft smile spreads over your face as you stand in the door opening. “Teachings? About sheep? Are you a shepherd?”

Jesus shrugs. “You could consider Me a good One.”

Before you can ask further, one of the followers of Jesus flinches in pain, all attention turning to him. “James!” Thaddeus rushes to his side to support him. “Ah, let’s get you off your feet for a bit.”

Urgency suddenly tightens in your chest upon seeing his discomfort. “To the barn,” you tell them, grabbing the key from the peg on the wall, heading out in front of them to lead them to it. “Come on.”

As you push open the heavy doors, the intense scent of sheep dung hits you in the face instantly. A few of the Disciples cough, but you’re used to the scent by now, unflinching.

“Here you go,” you tell them, planting your hands on your hips as you look around the animal pens inside, walking over to an empty, clean one. “It is not the nicest nor the warmest, but I hope it will work for you. You’ll get used to the stink.” You open the small gate for them. “I will get you guys some blankets from inside. Would you also like some food?”

Mary gives you a soft smile. “Forgive me for asking, since you owe us nothing, but… We have strict dietary laws,” she tells you, “So uh… What do you have?”

“I’ve got some fresh bread that I prepared today,” you say after a moment of thought, “And I’ve got some dried fruits left. I’m not entirely certain if it’s enough for all of you, but it’s something.”

“We will be grateful for everything you can offer us,” Jesus tells you, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. “We still have some of our own provisions, so we will not be pillaging your larder and leave you behind hungry yourself. But… What is the name of our host?”

You give a small hum. “I am (Y/n),” you say, “I live here with my father. My mother passed away when I was born due to complications. I look after the sheep whenever my father is out on guard duty. He uh… He’s away from home quite often.” You lower your gaze, even though you didn’t necessarily intend to open up so easily towards complete strangers, people from a whole different culture at that. “They keep me company.”

“You don’t have a guard dog?” one of the followers, one with sleek hair wants to know. “Oh, and I’m Peter, by the way.”

After nodding in greeting, you sigh. “We had one,” you say, “But he passed away a few months ago. We have yet to get a new one, and truthfully, I’m expecting my father to bring one home quite soon. One of his comrades knows a guy who breeds decent pups. Anyways, let me get you the items I offered.”

An Ethiopian woman clad in beautiful hues of red and pink as well as a curly-haired young man follow you to help you out, introducing themselves as Tamar and Andrew. You load their arms with blankets and pillows, making sure to leave the prettiest cushions safely inside the homestead. After all, your father wouldn’t necessarily be happy if he found the family heirlooms full of holes and stains upon his return.

From the pantry, you take a few loaves of fresh bread that you had intended to last you a week as well as a bowl of apples and some dried figs. You hand them to a Disciple named Thomas who gives you a wry smile as he stands in the small space with you, as if he doesn’t fully trust you. The two of you are strangers so you don’t dare to ask, but you can tell that there is something painful in his past that makes him particularly wary of you.

Carrying a few lanterns and candles with their respective holders, you find yourself heading back for the barn, where the sheep are giving you curious glances as to what the commotion inside their warm shelter is about. You pat one of their heads as you enter the stables, where several of the followers have already settled down on their personal mats and bedrolls. You help light the wicks of the candles and hand them out to spread them through the barn, careful to not hit any dry straw with the flames, until the place is oddly cosy.

“Thank you for this, (Y/n),” Philip says, taking a sip of water from a clay cup. “This is more than we could have bargained for.”

“There is quite a draft in here,” you apologise, rubbing your arm a bit awkwardly, “It’s not the best, but—”

“Nonsense,” Big James cuts you off, “This is wonderful. I agree with Philip. Thank you so much.”

It is followed by more words of gratitude. Jesus gives you a kind smile as you look at Him, one of his hands resting on the head of one of the ewes. “Why don’t you come sit with us for a while, (Y/n)?” he suggests, “We’d like to get to know you, and we know you could use the company. For how long has your father been away now?”

For a few beats of silence, you have to count inside your head. “He’s been away for… Almost a fortnight now.”

A few mutterings from the group. “For so long? But you’re not even twenty springs old yet.”

You shrug. “Well, it’s just how things are. Really, I don’t know any better.”

“How do you spend time all by yourself?” Tamar asks, “I mean, how do you keep busy other than tending to the sheep?” One of your favourite ewes snuggles against your shoulder and you pet her head, causing a few of the followers to mutter softly in awe.

You sigh and softly smile. “I like to spend time drawing,” you admit, “Sketching on parchment whatever I’m seeing. It’s… It’s not that good, but I like to do it anyways.” You gently pick at a hardened piece of wool inside the sheep’s fur and get out some dirt, not at all disgusted by the drool that lands on your hand when the animal nuzzles your fingers. “I enjoy nature, the way everything is so wonderfully put together. I’m not sure about how it all came to be, but it takes my breath away nevertheless.”

“That is quite lovely,” Mary tells you. “You have a beautiful mind and a kind heart.”

You cannot help but blush a little at that. “Thank you,” you whisper softly. When a young lamb makes its way to the centre of the group inquisitively, it earns all the admiring focus from the group.

“Look at that little guy!” Andrew muses as it sniffs Thaddeus’ hand before licking it, causing the former stonemason to laugh lightly. “How adorable!”

One of the other lambs follows his little sister and snuggles up next to Mary and Tamar, finding warmth in the little pets they give their heads. The mother sheep of the two bleats in your ear and you shush her with a fond smile. “Easy, Cecilia. It’s alright, they won’t harm them.”

An unhurried silence falls in the barn in which the Disciples eat their meals, until you’re the one to speak up. “Say,” you begin, turning to Jesus, “You said You are a Teacher, right? What do You teach? What brings You all the way here? The next Jewish town is quite far away.”

Jesus hums and purses His lips for a moment, giving you a thoughtful yet soft look. “It is not just the Jewish people who are lost in their ways. The Gentiles, too, need to hear about the Kingdom of God.”

You tilt your head in slight question. “Kingdom of God…?” you query, “What is that? Which deity is it about? Jupiter? Neptune? Mars?”

Shaking His head, Jesus patiently hums. “No. Adonai. The only true, living God.”

You bite your lip. It is a bold claim to state that your own gods are dead and untrue, but strangely, you don’t feel the urge to contest it.

“So do You teach rituals, then? Or auspices?”

“I teach people how to live in the way that the Father wants His children to live.”

“So this Adonai you speak of, He has children as well?”

“Not in the way you are thinking,” Jesus tells you. “Everyone who accepts Him into their heart will be made into a new creation, as a child of God. They will be born again spiritually.”

You let out a hum. “Huh, that’s… Not what I expected. I thought you Jews had all these rules.”

“Most of the religious leaders enforce them, yes. But I have come to fulfil the Law, and it will be made complete through Me. Even though this doesn’t mean that the Law is done away with, it is made perfect because of Me.”

“Because of You? Who are You, then?”

Jesus turns to His Disciples. “Who do you say I am?”

“The Messiah promised to us.” Matthew whispers.

Nathanael adds: “The Saviour of the world.”

“The Son of the living God,” Peter says.

You listen to the answers they give, nodding a little as you try to process it. “So… You are like… A Prophet of sorts?”

“Not really. I am here to save the people from their sins, that whomever believes in Me, will not be led into eternal damnation, but live through Me.”

The promise sounds unfamiliar when held against the way things are in your own religion, and you mull it over for a few long moments. “I do not fully understand it,” you say, “But it does sound beautiful.”

“We don’t always understand it, either,” Philip admits, smiling a bit, “But we just trust and follow Him.”

“We also believe Him because of what He does through His miracles and wonders,” Andrew explains, “He also convinces us Who He is through these signs.”

You hum and swallow hard. “Miracles… Forgive me for being skeptical, but I do not really believe in these…”

“Then why don’t you come with us?” Peter asks. The man who had introduced himself as Thomas shrinks a bit right next to him. “Come and see.”

Your gaze goes through the group as the question hangs in the air. Letting out a small noise of confusion, you aren’t sure what to make of their suggestion, for everyone is watching you with such hope glittering in their gaze that you cannot help but feel inclined to accept, even though you barely know what this is about.

“I… I can’t just run off into the blue whilst my father is out on duty. I can’t leave my sheep alone, I…”

Your voice trails off when you see the youngest lamb, a newborn ram that hasn’t even let you touch it yet, step into the barn, the hinges creaking as he makes his way through the gap. The tiny sheep beelines straight towards Jesus, climbs into His lap, and nuzzles up. Even its mother doesn’t protest the action, and for a few long moments, your breath is taken away.

“He never does that,” you whisper, “That lamb is so skittish, I can’t even get close to it…”

Jesus hums and holds it gently, petting it on the head and the tiny animal seems to be appreciative of it.

“How did You do that?”

“Nature knows its Maker…” someone in the group mutters, but you aren’t sure who.

With a sigh of awe, you run a hand down your face, wondering if this must mean something. “He… This is… Well, I wouldn’t say this is a miracle of sorts, but it certainly is special.” Jesus chuckles gently at your admission and gives you a look.

“We would love to have you with us, (Y/n). As you can see, I do not just bring along Jewish students.” He gestures at Tamar. “You are young and have a bright mind. I’m sure your father would understand if you were to travel with us for a while. You don’t have to be with us permanently, you know? I have plenty of followers who live at home.”

You bite your lip, pondering the idea of being with these people for a while, if only for a few weeks, just to see how these teachings could be of importance to you and how He could change your life. There is little to lose.

“I will consider it,” you mutter, your mind sinking away in deep thought, as Jesus slowly nods.

“Of course,” He states, “You have until tomorrow morning, and we might be in the area again some day. Now we know where to find you, yes?”

You laugh a little at that and nod as you watch one of the flames of the candles flicker steadily in front of you, whilst the group begins to settle down for the night, the stars already out when you feel the chill of night creep through the gaps of the barn.

—

Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth when you wake, squinting against the unfamiliar light that slips in through the cracks in the walls, and you sit up groggily, your face covered in hay. You wipe it off, seeing a few of Jesus’ followers already up and having breakfast, whilst a few are still on one ear.

Yesterday evening comes back to you and you realise you must have fallen asleep before making it back to the house, when Jesus’ voice pulls you out of your thoughts. “Good morning,” He greets gently, and you give Him a bleary smile.

“Good morning,” you say behind a yawn.

“Barn or not,” Judas says whilst stretching his sore limbs. “I slept like a baby— I meant, like a brick.”

“You learn fast.” Nathanael says, smirking a bit as he packs his things.

The sheep have made their way outside to graze by themselves and you start getting up, dusting down your tunic in order to get your guests breakfast, but right as you are about to leave the building, the door swings open and reveals a dishevelled looking soldier with horror on his features, the entirety of Jesus’ followers including the Messiah Himself turning to look at him like one being.

“What is the meaning of this?!” His voice bellows so loudly that it wakes the remainder of the sleeping Disciples. “Who are you, sleeping in my barn?!”

“Father,” you speak up, and only now, his gaze finds you, softens, but hardens again with anger.

“Explain this, young lady! What are these strangers doing in our barn?”

You clear your throat, feeling a little embarrassed as you fight the blush on your face. “Well, they were in need of shelter and I couldn’t exactly refuse them.”

Jesus stands slowly and approaches your father, holding out His hand. “My Name is Jesus,” He says, a flicker of something in the soldier’s eyes as he shakes the outstretched hand.

“Jesus, You say?” your father mutters, eyeing the Man in front of him up and down. “From where?”

The Messiah lets out a small chuckle. “Nazareth,” He reveals, and tension seems to visibly leave your father’s shoulders.

“Oh. In our barn?”

Your father’s reaction puzzles you. You slowly approach the two. “Do you know Him, Pater? Have you heard of Him?”

“Yes,” the exhausted guard breathes, “My close friend, who is the Praetor of Capernaum, cannot stop talking about You. He keeps writing to me about You. You saved the life of his son and thus of himself, too.”

Jesus smiles at Matthew, who stands a little away, his gaze also flickering with familiarity. “Gaius,” the former tax collector says, causing your father to nod eagerly.

“Yes! Yes, him. You know him, then.”

“He is a good friend of ours.” Jesus states. “Anyways… I was wondering if your daughter here could join us for a while.”

Your father’s eyes find you, widen a little as he considers the weight of the words. “Join You? For… For how long?”

“As long as she wants,” Jesus reassures him, “But do not worry. I have plenty of followers who remain home with their other responsibilities. It is, however, important that she witnesses Who I am.”

A hopeful glimmer enters your father’s (e/c) eyes as he looks at you. “Well, what do you say?”

You take a sharp breath. “What about the sheep?”

“I can look after the sheep myself.”

“And your duty?”

Your father chuckles and shrugs. “Does that matter? In the light of this, you following Jesus is way more important. Come on. I will help you pack your things. If you say yes, that is. At the end of the day, it should be your own decision.”

With a growing smile and a warmth inside your chest that spreads everywhere through your body, you take a deep breath and nod eagerly. “Okay! Yes, yes I’d like it very much!”

A mutter of excitement goes through the group of followers, who are glad to have a new member on their team. Mary comes to stand next to you, putting a hand on your arm.

“Welcome to the group,” she quips happily, and you let out a joyful noise.

Your father gestures you over and pulls you into an embrace before you follow him back to the farmhouse, where you head for your room and begin packing a few essentials.

“Pater?” you whisper, “Are you truly okay with this?”

He smiles at you, halting in his actions and turning to face you. “Of course,” he states, “I hold Gaius in high regard and thus I trust him when he says that this Teacher is more than just that. And… You’re almost an adult now. You need to spread your wings. I think it would be good for you.”

You hum and wrap your arms around him, grateful for the opportunity. Even though you aren’t sure where it will lead you yet, you are glad that your father urges you to go.

“I will miss you, you know?” you murmur, “And the sheep.”

“I will miss you too, my dear girl,” he whispers inside your hair, kissing the crown of your head. “But write to your old man, alright?”

You nod, promising him this. “I will,” you say, “I’ll tell you everything that Jesus does. And I will enclose a drawing or two of what I see during my travels.”

“I’m counting on it,” he states, “Who knows? I might be around in Capernaum some time. If I ask Praetor Gaius if I could stay for a few days, I’m sure he’d be happy to have me over.”

On that note, you finish packing, and head back outside to join the others, who are already waiting for you. With one last pat on your favourite ewe’s head, you set out on this new adventure.

#the chosen #reader insert #the chosen x reader #chosen x reader #platonic #jesus x reader #the chosen jesus

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wannabelilybriscoe · 1 month ago

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ASFTEOTW: Chapter 7 Commentary

Another teeny-tiny chapter of A Song for the End of the World! Somewhere along the way, I've lost my ability to be brief, it would seem. This is seriously making me consider writing some smaller chapters, just so I can get them out quicker like I used to. We shall see.

In this chapter, we get to see Remus and Marlene's friendship blossom. Love these cuties. :)

Previous Chapter < > Next Chapter

The morning after the Lonely Wolf got high and spilled his guts to the Stag, the Rat, and the Dog, he woke up with The Fear. The Fear was perhaps the oldest and most constant companion to the Lonely Wolf, but not a welcome one. The Fear told the Wolf that he had shared too much of his life, of his soul. Once you handed over those parts of yourself, you couldn’t take them back. When someone has those parts of you, they can do whatever they want with you. The Lonely Wolf knew this. The thing about being known by someone, and about knowing someone in return, is that you can lose them. Because now he wasn’t just the Lonely Wolf, and they weren’t just the Stag, the Rat, and the Dog. Now they were Moony, Wormy, Pads and Prongs. If you took one of them out of the equation, there would be an unfillable gap. A square with three sides. A person-shaped hole in the Lonely Wolf’s heart. The Lonely Wolf already had a Mam-shaped hole, a Dad-shaped hole, a dog-shaped hole, and a best friend-shaped hole. His heart was riddled with bullet holes. Blown right through, a ragged mess of sinew and sorrow. How many more holes could his heart sustain before it stopped working altogether? The thing about losing people is that it doesn’t ever get easier, no matter how much practice you have. Not really. The Lonely Wolf had been learning how to lose people for his entire life. You move to one place, you get to know someone, and they get to know you. Then one of you leaves. Moves on somewhere else. Gets to know someone else. They take you with them—your life, your soul—and they leave you with nothing but a them-shaped hole in your heart. The only defence is not to let people know you. They can know the stuff that doesn’t matter, like your favourite television show, how you take your tea. But your fears? Your dreams? All the silences between the surface-level details, the moments that really tell you what a person is made of? Once they know that, they’re carved into your heart. The Lonely Wolf knew all this when he met his best friend. He knew the risk of letting someone know him best. But they’d gotten to know each other anyway, and bang: an irreplaceable best friend-shaped hole in his heart that wouldn’t ever be filled, unless he could find him and slot him back into place. The morning after the Stag, the Rat, and the Dog gave the Lonely Wolf a name—Moony—the morning sun streamed in through the dormitory window, cutting a golden line across their beds and catching on the golden ring in the Dog’s ear. The Marauders all began to stir, groaning and grumbling. The Stag and the Rat looked at the Lonely Wolf at the same time he looked at them. The Stag’s hair stuck up in spikes like a crown. The Rat blinked blearily with sleep. And though the Wolf was used to being lonely, he felt like he was one of them. Then, the Stag and the Rat both looked at each other and smiled. The Stag said, “Well, we can’t promise you weed every night, but if you want to keep sleeping in that bed, it’s yours.” Then the Dog stirred, huffing softly. He languidly stretched his arms and long legs, and his stomach was a strip of moonlight. The Dog looked right at the Lonely Wolf, his grey eyes red-rimmed with sleep but no less piercing in the morning light. He wore memories of the night in his black hair. Casually, as if he did it every morning, he said, “Morning, Moony.” The Lonely Wolf felt it then: how stupid he'd been. Because there they were. Carved into his heart. Now, they could be lost.

Moonbeam. :( I wanted Remus's journal entry to really sound like the musings of a teenage boy. He thinks he has the world all figured out when really, his life is only getting started. But he's been through so much hardship, he's not entirely wrong, either. All his suffering has instilled in him a heavy sense of cynicism. But I think what is compelling about Remus's character is that despite that cynicism, and despite how his anxiety overwhelms him at time, there is still a part of him that is willing to hope, and he uses that hope to drive himself forward.

Remus looks down at the page, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He’s pretty sure he kind of ripped off The Catcher in the Rye in the middle, and it’s weak by comparison. But whatever, it’s his private diary. He wants to remember the moment of waking up surrounded by his new friends, even if it filled him with as much dread as it did comfort. Because Remus isn’t planning on staying. The plan has been to keep making his way to Lisburn this entire time. Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. Those lines have been rattling around his skull since he first read them at thirteen. Well, fuck if that isn’t exactly what’s been happening to him, over and over and over and over.

Who didn't read TCITR as a young teen and feel like Holden Caulfield got them?

Marlene fiddles with the bent corner of the book’s cover. “It’s science fiction. Great world-building.” Remus’ interest is piqued. He hasn’t read much science fiction, his taste tends to gear more towards literary fiction or whatever great American novel Oli wanted him to read. He would not have pegged Marlene, with her preppy ponytails and conservative clothing, as a fan of science fiction—but then again, he doesn’t know anything about Marlene at all. “What’s it about?” Her face lights up. “It’s really cool. The story's set far into the future, in a feudal interstellar society where the planets are controlled by ancient families. The main character is a member of one of the aristocratic houses, and his family is appointed as stewards of this desert planet that’s full of this drug called ‘spice.’ It's one of the most valuable resources in the universe, and it gives you powers, like a long life and the ability to see into the future…” She goes on for a while, explaining the major plot points of the book. It sounds complicated, but fascinating. He’s also enjoying the enthusiasm that rolls off Marlene as she gushes about a planet called Arrakis and the warring people who inhabit it. Watching someone talk about a book they love has always been a bit thrilling to Remus, and for the first time in a long time, he thinks fondly of Oli, without pain. He watches how Marlene’s face glows while she talks. She really is quite pretty, he thinks.

I love them, your honour. 😭

Remus reads it twice, then a third time. He’s reminded of the mantra his father told him. Always be prepared to go a little further, Remus. Would Lyall have appreciated the litany of fear? Remus thinks he probably would have. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he holds the book out to Marlene. “Thanks.” She smiles and pushes the book back to him. “You should read it. I’d love to be able to talk about it with someone. Although I’m probably just dragging you down with me since the series will never be finished now…”

The litany of fear from Dune becomes a mantra Remus draws on repeatedly for the rest of the story. I added it in because I'm a Dune fan, but I also liked the futurism of it. The idea that in this story set in the past, where the world collapses, Remus draws on a mantra from a futuristic world.

Also, that last bit is a bit of a joke, since Herbert died before the series was finished.

“Do you read a lot of sci-fi?” She nods enthusiastically. “Oh, yes. It’s my favourite genre.” Remus tilts his head and smiles. “Why’s it your favourite?” Marlene hums, thinking for a moment. They both seem to realise at the same time that she’s still standing. She pulls out a chair and slumps down into it, decidedly unladylike, and Remus finds it utterly charming.

I. LOVE. THEM. 😤

Marlene listens to his description of On The Road. One of her brows is raised sceptically. “Hm.” “What?” “Oh, nothing…” “Come on, tell me.” “Well…it just sounds like a sad boy circle jerk.”

I said what I said.

They talk about books for a while longer until the sun starts to set, and they realise it must be close to dinnertime. Remus follows Marlene through the stacks as she finds her book, chatting some more about the titles they see, and then they make their way to the Great Hall together. Mary is the first one to see them walk in together. “Where did you two just come from?” She has a sneaky smile on her face. Marlene bristles immediately. “We were in the library.” Mary cracks a Cheshire Cat smile. “Together?” Remus sighs. So that’s how it’s going to be. He slumps onto the bench and settles in for the inevitable round of ribbing that ensues. At least he can stuff his face while he’s being made fun of. Mary and Sirius are the most enthusiastic hecklers of the group. “Talking about books, were you, Moony? I should’ve known you’d know how to crack a spine.” “I’ll crack your spine.” “Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Pete scratches his head. "What does that even mean? Crack a spine?”

Honestly, I don't even know what "crack a spine" means. It doesn't make any sense.

“Does anyone know how to pick a lock?” Sirius asks. The group all shakes their heads, murmuring no. Sighing, Remus mumbles, “I do.” “You do?” Lily asks. “Yeah. I’ve had to do it a few times.” One of the soldiers on the base taught him back when they were living in Lisburn. He’d been a younger guy, only nineteen, and from a rough part of Manchester. When he’d mentioned to Remus that he could pick a lock, Remus had asked to be shown how. The soldier had been happy to oblige in exchange for a joint, and so long as Remus didn’t tell his Dad who’d taught him. It had taken some practice, but he’d gotten the hang of it. Later, while on the run, he'd been grateful to have the skill, as it allowed him to enter abandoned buildings. “Champion!” James says, “We just need to make sure ol’ Filch doesn’t see us. He’s always stalking around the halls.” “What about his next bath day?” Remus suggests, mulling it over. “That should keep him distracted long enough for us to break in, grab a few guns, and get out again.” The others exchange appraising looks, nodding their agreement. “You’re just full of surprises, Moony,” Sirius says, biting his lip over a grin.

Down, Sirius.

Twenty minutes later, Sirius lopes into the room. He stops in his tracks when he sees Remus. Suddenly, it's like all the air is sucked out of the room. Sirius squares his shoulders and draws himself up to his full height. At a loss for what to do, Remus shoves his hands in his pockets and tries not to look uncomfortable as he meets Sirius' gaze. “You’re sleeping here tonight?” Sirius asks with forced lightness. Remus glances at James and Pete, who seem to have caught onto the shift in mood and are watching the exchange in bewilderment. He looks back at Sirius and cocks his head. “I was planning on it. Is that a problem?” Sirius lifts his chin. “I don’t know. Is it?” There it is—a small line between Sirius’ dark eyebrows and a slight jutting of his lower lip. He’s nervous. He doesn’t know what Remus thinks of what he saw. And what does he think? He thinks it would be pretty hypocritical for him to have a problem with it. So, Remus tries to relax the tension in his face. He gives Sirius a half smile, raising one shoulder in a little shrug. “Not for me.” Sirius's piercing eyes scrutinise him before he seems to decide to accept Remus's show of good faith. He gives Remus a tentative smile. And like that, the tension eases. “Alright. Me neither.” James��s eyes dart back and forth between them. “Okay. Since we’re all in agreement…” Sirius saunters past Remus and slaps a companionable hand on his shoulder. Then he strolls right on over to the cassette deck. “I think it’s high time we put on some Queen.” *** That night, before he goes to sleep, Remus copies the litany of fear into his notebook. He reads it over once, twice, and then a third time. He wants to remember it by heart. Tries not to picture what Sirius looked like, bathed in moonlight, wrapped up in someone’s arms. Tries to erase the memory of his sigh.

This is a turning point for Remus and Sirius's relationship. Once Remus knows Sirius's secret, it creates space for intimacy between them. Of course, if you're caught up in the story, you know they have a few more hoops to jump through to get there...

The chapters get quite fun from here on out, I think.

#wolfstar #a song for the end of the world #asfteotw chapter commentary #marauders zombie au

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boldlyvoid · 2 years ago

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Put On The Red Light | Part One

18+ Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: When Eddie's long-lost cousin, Roxy, shows up on his doorstep, he must accept that his whole life is changing once again.

Warnings: angst, anxiety, jealous Eddie, sexuality crisis, insecure Eddie, parental issues, implied/referenced parental abuse/neglect, background Vickie/Robin, Will/Gareth, Wayne/Mr. Clarke

word count: 9.9k

masterlist

A few loud knocks on the front door rip him from his slumber, he turns to his alarm clock to see it's after 1 pm, Wayne should be home to get it… But the knocks keep coming, more frequent and needier than ever, forcing him out of bed.

He tumbles down the hall with a groan and his eyes still closed, he rubs his face on the walk to the door and opens it with a sigh, “what?”

He’s expecting it to be Dustin or Max, or Steve maybe… Not a beautiful woman.

“Oh, um, hi,” she waves. “Does Wayne Munson live here by chance?”

He shakes the sleep from his face and blinks at her a few times, registering that she was real, he nods. “Yeah, why?”

“Is he here right now?” She stands on her tiptoes and looks past his shoulder and into the trailer.

“No, he’s not… once again, why?” He steps back so she doesn’t bump into him while trying to get a look inside, and all she does is walk into the trailer through the gap between him and the door. “Hey! You can’t just walk into my house? Who are you?”

“I’m apparently Wayne Munson’s daughter,” she explains, looking around the room at everything, “let me guess, you’re his other kid?”

“Woah, woah, woah,” both his hands go up in defence, he is too tired for this shit. “What are you talking about? Wayne doesn’t have any kids?”

She turns to him with her hand out, ready to shake his, “sorry, I’m Roxy… well, Roxanne but everyone calls me Roxy.”

“Hi… I’m Eddie… Edward,” he takes her hand delicately but she grips his tight. “Munson as well…”

“Nice to meet you,” she gives him a beautiful smile, it’s almost like looking in a mirror.

They shared a lot of similar features, dark curly hair being one of them, which is funny seeing as Wayne is balding. She’s way too pretty to be Wayne’s kid. And if she is, that makes her Eddie’s cousin and now he thinks his cousin is pretty… he drops her hand and pulls away.

“My mom reportedly fucked a man named Wayne Munson back in ’66, she never saw him again and never knew where he lived to even track him down and tell him that she was having his kid. So I’ve tracked him down and now I’m here and I want to meet my dad.”

He laughs at how crazy it is, but it sounds about right, “uh, well, I’m his nephew but he basically raised me so, I mean, I kinda feel like his son?”

“So we’re cousins,” she beams a smile at him, “I’ve always wanted a cousin!”

“Yeah, I suppose so…" he can’t believe it either. “But, uh, Waynes not here as you can see, and I don’t know where he is but you can stay and wait for him?”

“Okay, cool,” she smiles again, turning back towards the wall full of mugs and hats and getting closer to it. She examines it carefully, “so, is it just you two here? He doesn’t have like a wife or anything?”

“Nope, just us… I uh, I’m going to change,” he references down to his bare chest and ripped pyjama bottoms.

“Okay,” she doesn’t mind, she barely pays any attention to him, instead she’s looking through Wayne’s things on the walls.

Back in his room he hops into his jeans like a maniac, throws on some deodorant and a new shirt, brushes his teeth and fixes his hair and then it really hits him. “She’s your fucking cousin dude, chill out.”

He heads back into the main room full of shame, she’s moved on to the tv cabinet to look at all their tapes and movies, “I’m actually late for something, but uh, I guess feel free to stay here? There’s nothing worth stealing so, even if you’re lying I don’t think Wayne will care that I left you here.”

That makes her laugh, “I’ll watch over the place, have fun, cuz!” She gives him a wave and a smile, one that looks a lot like Waynes.

“Thanks…” he gives her a small wave back and all but runs to his van.

He doesn’t care where he’s going, he just needs to drive. His mind was completely warped by the knowledge that he had a secret cousin and she was about to infiltrate his life. Wayne, his Wayne, had a daughter. She was Wayne’s blood and much more so than Eddie is, he’s just Waynes brothers kid. He can’t help but worry that having a daughter is going to change Wayne’s life and Eddie will be slowly replaced by the child of his own that he always wanted…

Somehow he ends up parked at Family video, right beside Steve’s car, like his body knew what to do to make him feel better before his mind did.

He heads inside quickly and makes his way right to Steve, “you’ll never fucking guess what just happened to me.”

“What did you do?” Steve smirks, knowing by the ghostly look on Eddie’s face that it’s something embarrassing that he’s going to get to tease him about.

“This pretty girl showed up at my trailer looking for Wayne and I was like half asleep and half naked and she just barged in and told me she’s my cousin?”

“You have a hot cousin?” Steve exclaims, excited until he sees how Eddie’s not happy about it, “man, sucks to be you… is she still at your place?”

“Hey,” Eddie points at him, “her being hot is not the point, dude, what if Wayne kicks me out so his real kid can come live with him? What if he likes her more than me? What if she moves to town and everyone likes her more than me?”

“That’s a given, bud,” Steve teases him, placing a hand on his shoulder to pull him in for a much-needed hug. “I’m kidding, you’re going to be fine… as long as you don’t mind me hitting on your hot cousin.”

“Can you shut up,” Eddie manages to smile as he hugs him back. Holding Steve with his chin on his shoulder, he felt a lot more relaxed than before. Steve always had this effect on him.

“What's this about?” They hear Robin come barreling towards them from the back room. “I want in on a hug.” She all but tackles them as she joins in, “what’s going on?”

“Eddie has a new hot cousin,” Steve teases, extending an arm around Robin to invite her in.

“Seriously?” She looks up at Eddie from the middle of the hug.

He nods, “apparently Wayne has a real kid.”

“Oh shit,” she feels his pain, “does he know yet?”

Eddie shakes his head and pulls away from the group hug, “she’s just in the trailer, I kinda ran when I realized she’s actually related to me and too pretty for me to talk to, anyway.”

“So, she’s just in your trailer all alone?” Robin can’t help but laugh. “what’s Wayne going to do when he gets there?”

—

Wayne walks into the trailer with his hands full of groceries, Eddie’s van is gone but there’s a figure pacing back and forth in front of the living room window, “hey, I thought you were— who the heck are you?” Wayne places all the bags on the counter and stares at the woman.

“Hi,” she stands still and awkwardly waves at him. “I’m Roxanne, Roxanne Crutchstone, my mom is—

“Janine,” says with a gasp and freezes. His jaw dropped, and his heart beats double-time in his chest as he stares at the daughter of the woman he once loved. Albeit for one night, he felt a lot for her in those few hours they spent alone in the back of his chevy. And now he was seeing why. “You’re mine aren’t you?”

She nods like her head is trapped on a spring, not knowing what else to say as her eyes bubble up with tears. “My mom didn’t know how to find you, she always told me about you, I always knew I had a dad who would probably want me and— and then I saw Eddie Munson on the news and I knew, I knew you’d be here. I knew you’d be my dad.”

He makes his way to her and wraps her up in his arms, he kisses the top of her curly head of hair and that’s when she starts to sob. She’s always wanted a dad. He holds her like a father, he smells like a dad would, and he’s kind and loving and completely hers from now on.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know about you sooner,” he whispers against her hair. “But you’re welcome here all the time… where are you living? How’d you get here? Are you safe?” He asks as he pulls back, instantly concerned and in full father mode.

“I took the bus into town a few days ago, I’m living at the apartment complex down by the hospital, it’s above the general store and post office…” she explains. “I’m taking a year off before I go to college, I thought I’d come live here and try and get to know you a bit?”

“So you’ve graduated high school?” He beams, knowing she must be the same age as the older two girls Eddie hangs around with.

She nods, “just last month.”

“Damn, you’re a smartie aren’t cha?” He teases, “Eddie didn’t until— wait did you meet Eddie?”

She nods again, “he was here, he let me in, but he said he was late for something and didn’t mind leaving me here alone, knowing that I’m yours.”

“Okay, good. He’s technically my brother's kid but I raised him so he’s mine—

“Eddie said the same thing,” she smiles, a lot like Eddie.

“He’s my boy. And it’s important for you two to get to know each other and get along, he’s very special to me… you might hear some shit about him from the folks in town but I promise you, he is nothing but kind and wonderful,” he can’t help but protect Eddie too. “He was accused of some awful things earlier this year and he’s still getting over it, but I can assure you, you’re safe with him and his friends.”

“He seemed really sweet… he was half asleep but he was nice,” she agrees. “But uh, that’s kinda how I found you? I figured that the Eddie Munson on the news was probably related to the Wayne Munson my mom slept with… and she was worried about me coming out here cause he might actually be a murderer… but, what really happened? Cause he doesn’t seem like he has a vicious bone in his body.”

“I wish I knew it all, honestly, but a girl died in our last trailer and he ran 'cause it was terrifying and so—

“So he looked really guilty,” she sympathizes.

“Extremely guilty… but then more kids from the school died in strange places, there was a huge earthquake, the lab in town took the fall and he was let off the hook,” Wayne simplifies it down to just one sentence.

“That’s unfortunate, but at least he still has some friends, you said?”

“He didn’t graduate on time like you did, so most his friends are still high school age but he has some his own, like Steve… he’s probably going to hit on you, just beware,” Wayne teases. “That boy is a walking flirt. With absolutely everybody.”

“Noted,” she can’t help but smile.

“Gosh, you look so much like your mom but there’s also so much of Eddie,” he gestures to her appearance. “The hair, your big brown eyes, your button nose…” Wayne boops his finger on her nose with a smile. “wow.”

“Mom always said I got my nose from you,” she shares fondly.

“She’s doing okay?” Wayne can’t help but wonder.

“Oh yeah, she’s actually moving in with her boyfriend now that I’m out of the house,” she explains. “I grew up just outside of Chicago, we lived with my nanny and pops the whole time…”

“Right, I remember,” Wayne can recall all the way back to that night, he was visiting Chicago for a concert, and she was having a weekend out with friends, one thing led to another and now here she is. “So, Roxanne? Is that what you prefer to be called?”

She shakes her head, “no, everyone calls me Roxy, I’m more of a Roxy.”

“Yeah,” he takes a look at her with a sweet smile, “come sit,” he moves them over to the couch again and sits right beside her. “Tell me everything, I want to know who you are.”

It feels like a lot of pressure, but he’s so calming and fatherly that she opens up quite easily. “Where should I start, dad?”

“The beginning,” Wayne smiles, tearing up a bit at the name he always wanted to be called. It wasn’t often Eddie called him dad, that was saved for high emotional moments… this was easy and new and everything he wanted.

—

When Eddie gets back to the trailer, Wayne and Roxy are still sitting on the couch, deep into a story about Wayne’s childhood that he’s heard a million times.

“Eds! You’re home,” Wayne extends an arm out to him, drawing Eddie into the living room. “You met Roxy?”

“I did,” he gives her a sweet smile. “I see you’re getting along real well…” it hurts only a little, the way they’re bonding isn’t helping his anxiety that Wayne isn’t going to love him anymore now that he has a real kid.

Wayne just shakes his head, staring at her with amazement, Eddie’s seen that look before when he’s performed with his uncle in the audience. Wayne loved her already like a real good dad should, he took her in instantly and as much as it killed Eddie to see, he knew Roxy deserved this. Every kid deserved a good dad and Wayne was the best.

“Yeah, she’s awesome… you two should hang out when I head to work?”

“I’d love to,” Roxy’s full of smile, more than willing to get to know her new cousin.

“Which I’ve gotta get ready for,” Wayne glances at his watch and stands as soon as he sees the time. “Roxy’s moved to town, she’s living over in the apartments downtown—

“Above the stores?” Eddie asks, he’s well aware of those apartments. He lived in one with his mom before she died. Before he had to move in with Wayne. They’re cheap and gross and he may not remember much from back then, but he remembers he hates it there.

She nods, “yeah, they’ve been remodelled recently, they’re really nice.”

“I’m sure,” he replies, it comes out a lot snarkier than he anticipated. “Uh, if you wanted to hang out, my friends and I have a little pizza party every Friday night, if you don’t mind meeting a few more new people tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m down,” she sounds actually really excited. “Wayne was telling me all about your friends, you have so many?”

He nods, “yeah, been through hell and back together, it’s kinda hard to lose ‘em now.”

Wayne pats his shoulder as he passes him, heading to the bathroom to get ready for work. Now it’s just the two of them.

She stands up with a smile and smooths out her shirt, “is this an okay outfit to wear?”

He nods, “yeah, I’m not going to change either, so…”

“Cool… we’re cool, right?” She asks, she can tell somethings off.

Eddie just nods, pushing the jealousy aside, “yeah, I’m good, it’s just weird for me. Y’know?”

She nods, “yeah, no, I get it, I’m sorry for just barging into your life.”

He shrugs it off and walks to the phone, “it’s cool, really… I’m just going to call Steve and give them the heads up that you’re coming… is there a pizza topping you want?”

She scurries over to him with excitement. She moves like he does, weird and unbalanced, she jumps to him instead of taking a last step and rocks back and forth on her feet, “what do you usually get?”

“Uh,” he’s a bit taken aback by how comfortable she gets with him so quick. He physically steps back too, “we get 3 meat lovers for the boys, a Hawaiian for Argyle, Max and El and a vegetarian one for Robin and Nancy… but we can throw in whatever as long as Argyle gets the order in time…”

“Ooo, okay, I’m good with some Hawaiian, actually,” she smiles, surprised that someone else in his group liked it too. “Your group sounds interesting…”

“They are,” he agrees, picking up the phone and dialling the number of the video store.

She leans against the table and smiles at him before she sits on top of it, kicking her feet, she’s content being there.

He isn’t.

It’s weird having a girl he doesn’t know too well in his trailer after everything that happened last time. It was different when Max, Robin and Nancy were in his trailer after Chrissy… they were in charge and saving the day. They knew what was going on. Now he’s bringing an outsider into their group and she will never know what really happened that week in March. But she feels like family… probably because she is. Something in the way she smiles feels like looking in a mirror but he likes her a little more than his own reflection—

“Family Video Hawkins, Steve speaking.” Eddie hears in his ear, drawing him away from his thoughts.

“Hey, Stevie… Roxy said she’d love to join us tonight and she’s another freak who likes pineapple so tell Argyle to throw in a second Hawaiian,” Eddie can’t help but smile, he too liked pineapple on pizza, occasionally. It must run in the family.

“Ew, okay,” Steve says as if he hates it but he’s smiling too, Eddie can hear it. “I’ll go next door and tell him in a sec.”

“Sounds good, okay, I’ll see you in a few hours,” Eddie says instead of goodbye.

“You will,” Steve doesn’t say goodbye either but they both hang up.

“So… Stevie, huh?”

He nods, “yep.”

“Tell me about him?”

“He’s my friend… one of my best friends,” Eddie says with a completely serious face and then his jaw tightens and he rubs his molars together to stay calm and collected. Steve was special to him. He didn’t have to explain that to anyone if he didn’t want to.

“Okay,” she puts her hands up in defeat and hops off the table, “what are some other names I should know besides Argyle and Stevie?”

“Uh, well,” he runs his fingers through his hair and wonders where to start. “So my 3 closest buddies growing up are Gareth, Jeff and Kevin, they’re in my band…”

“Oh, you’re a musician too?”

Great, he thinks to himself. What else is she taking from me?

He nods, “yeah and then Steve's best friend is Robin she’s cool, not sure if she’s going to bring Vickie or not this time they have a bit of a tumultuous friendship so, watch out for that one.”

“Sounds juicy,” she teases.

He just nods, “and then Nancy and Jonathan are always there 'cause we have it at Jonathan’s parent's place, Joyce and Hop, he’s the chief of police, they have a new house here with a big basement we can use.”

“That’s cute!”

“yeah and Jon's brother Will has a gaggle of friends too, they’re 15, very rambunctious and too many hold on,” he counts on his fingers, “Will, Dustin, Lucas, Erika, Max, Mike, El and… yeah no, that’s it. There’s 7 of them.”

“Holy shit?” She can’t believe it. “And you guys are cool having kids around?”

He shrugs, “they’ve been through some shit, they’re not really as immature as you’d expect a bunch of 15-year-olds to be.”

“Well, I’m excited to meet them,” she beams a smile at him. “Thank you for inviting me, it means a lot to me… I know it must be really strange to just have a cousin all of a sudden when it’s just been you and Wayne for so long, but I think it’ll be nice for us to get to know each other too.”

He nods, “yeah, its no problem, really.”

“Don't let it become a problem,” she whispers, keeping her voice down so it doesn’t get to Wayne. “If you have any issue with me at all, ever, just let me know. Please? You’re special to my dad and I want to have a good relationship with you too.”

He lets his walls down then, he sighs and nods, “okay… yeah, I’m a bit worried that I’ll lose him now that you’re here but I can see you’re pretty cool and normal so—

“You absolutely don’t have to worry,” Roxy assures him. “I’m not taking him from you, I just want to experience what it’s like to have a dad.”

“And who the hell am I to get in the way of that?” Eddie manages to laugh.

She opens her arms and looks at him cautiously as she moves in closer, “are you a hugger?”

“Yeah,” he smiles, opening his arms in return and taking her in for a quick hug. She’s about as tall as he is, she rests her chin on his shoulder and holds him tight.

“I always wanted a brother, too…” she says as she pulls back.

“A sister sounds nice,” he teases. “Just don’t move in and don’t touch my things and we’ll be fine.”

“Deal.”

—

“You know, I’m actually really excited to meet her,” Steve admits to Robin as they’re locking up. He lets her outside first and pulls the door closed to lock it.

“Why? ‘Cause she’s the only girl in Hawkins who doesn’t know you’re a total loser?” Robin teases, waiting at his passenger door for him to unlock it.

“They don’t think that. Only you do and I don’t really think your opinion matches the vast majority of women in this town...” he fights back, rushing to his car to get it because it’s fucking cold out and it only makes him meaner when he’s cold.

He hops in and reaches over to her door to unlock it and push it open from the inside. She hops in and throws her bag in the back. “Mm, well, I like to think I know women better than you do,” she reminds him.

“Whatever,” he grumbles, starting his beamer with a sigh. “But no, it’s not cause she’s new, it’s cause she’s probably a lot like Eddie… and you know, I always thought if Eddie was a girl then I’d date her… or if I was a girl then it would work better cause he wouldn't have to change.”

She stares at him like he’s a complete idiot, “what?”

“You know, if you were a boy there’s a girl you’d want to marry?”

“Steve, I don’t have to be a boy to like girls, you know that?” She says it slowly so that he understands her. “You don’t have to like girls just cause you’re a boy…”

“I know, but I like girls?” He reminds her, “very much I might add…”

“I wish you wouldn’t,” she really doesn’t want to hear about all the things he’s gotten to do with pretty girls that she still hasn’t. It’s not fair. “But what I’m saying is, you could like boys at the same time. That’s very much allowed.”

“I don’t think I do,” he purses his lips and shakes his head, making it convincing that he’s thought about it before and he has thought about it. A lot.

He does like men. Just one man in particular piques his interest right now. But he shouldn’t, Harringtons aren’t gay. So he says he doesn’t. Cause he can’t.

“Okay,” she drops it, “whatever you say.”

“Do you think I’m gay?” He looks at her with so much panic, just idling in the parking lot, he’s not moving until he gets an answer. And one that he likes.

She shakes her head, “no. I think you have a crush on Eddie…”

Steve can’t say that she’s wrong so he doesn’t say anything at all. He accepts her answer and nods, “interesting.”

He puts his car in reverse, places his hand behind Robin's headrest and looks behind them, peeling out of the parking lot as quickly as possible. He’s quick to leave downtown, Robin is quiet the whole time, just smirking away cause she knows she’s right and she knows it’s silent in the car right now because Steve is thinking about how she’s right.

“So what if I did?” Steve asks, almost whispering he’s so scared of the words that leave his mouth. “What if I did have a crush on Eddie?”

“Ask him out? It’s really a no-brainer, here, Steve.”

He looks at her and then back to the road a few times, mouth agape and then his voice picks right back up. In that octave, he only uses when he’s stressed out, “really? Thats it? You’re not going to do a deep dive into my brain and find out why I’m crushing on a dude of all fucking people?”

“Sounds like you’re asking yourself enough questions for the both of us inside that big head of yours,” she teases.

He shakes his head with a sigh. “If I tell you the truth are you going to make fun of me?”

“Probably,” she’s honest.

He sighs again, more exaggerated this time. “When we were walking through the upside down, going to Nancy’s, Eddie gave me this speech about how Nancy ran after me so fast so she must be in love with me but… but what he didn’t know is that I also wanted to run the first time. I almost didn’t go back to help Nancy with the Demogorgon but I did because I loved her and—and he came back in for me when he didn’t have to. You two already came down, I would’ve been fine with you guys. He didn’t need to come down but he did.”

Robin just smiles, “do you want him to love you?”

Steve shrugs, “I don’t know… but I remember staring at him and feeling like I wanted to kiss him and then the earthquake happened and you started screaming for Nancy.”

“Yeah it was action-packed down there,” she remembers all too well. “And you know, I think he wanted to kiss you too, especially when he was hot wiring the RV, you know, when he called you ‘big boy’?”

He sucks in a deep breath and nods, “yeah… I remember.”

“So you should kiss him,” Robin suggests again.

“No,” Steve panics a bit. “No. What if I’m just getting confused again like when I thought I was in love with you? I can’t kiss him and ruin everything?”

“I’m sure you won’t… Eddie isn’t straight, there’s no way,” Robin waves her hands out and then smacks then over her knees. “No way.”

“But we don’t know that, do we?”

Robin stares at him. “Really? Really?”

“What?”

“I said the same thing about Vickie and you kept yelling boobies at me!”

“I was right, wasn’t I?” Steve combats, not realizing that it proves her point.

“Which means I’m right, right now! Eddie likes you back!” Robin shouts, “come on, man, you have to know that by now! I literally walked out to find you guys hugging in the middle of the store today? You have sleepovers and share secrets, he’s just as close to you as I am and he actually wants to kiss you, so kiss him!”

“I can’t!” Steve shouts back. “I can’t ruin this and I ruin everything when I date people. I’m not dating him. Look at us! You never dated me and now you’re my best friend in the whole world, I dated Nancy and she felt trapped and lost and sad for a year and I never noticed until it was too late.”

“It wasn’t your fault, you know that,” Robin reminds him. “She was balls deep in her trauma, it was almost a year since her friend died while she was busy sleeping with you and never heard her screaming for help. Thats a hard thing to grapple with but she did love you. You did help her through it, she told me how much it meant to her that you’d go over and cuddle with her all night when she was missing barb and how you went to Barb's parents house for dinner all year when you didn’t need to. You helped her dad around the house and even went to Mrs. Hollands' house for tea on your own… you were a good boyfriend it just wasn’t meant to be and that’s okay.”

“But what if the same is for Eddie? What if it’s just a huge crush and not meant to be and everything changes?” Steve worries. “I love the way things are. If he knew I was crushing on him then everything would change and I don’t want anything to change again.”

“News flash, dingus, but Eddie’s long lost cousin showing up out of nowhere is going to change things,” Robin points out.

He groans as he pulls into her driveway, “I know… can we just drop it? Okay?” He places the car in park and takes his keys out of the ignition. “I’m not ready for things to change a lot again.”

“Okay,” Robin drops it and heads out of the car. “But if Roxy’s anything like Eddie, I’m guessing she’s going to want a date with me before you.”

“Doubt it,” Steve laughs, following her inside.

—

Eddie brings Roxy to the Byer's place a few minutes before the party normally starts. Joyce loves her right away, she fluffs her hair and says “oh, how I’d kill for locks like this.”

Only for Hopper to reply, “you did back in 64.”

She sighs and pats Roxy’s shoulder, “enjoy being young.”

She laughs, “I will now that I might make friends… I never really had any back in Chicago.”

“My boys are really sweet, I’m sure you’ll get along with them real well,” Joyce assures her. “If you like video games and George Lucas movies then you’ll fit right in.”

“I do,” she brightens right up. “I thought they sounded interesting just from their pizza orders, now I know I’m surrounded by other dorks, this is the best day ever.”

She makes Hop laugh from his recliner in the living room, “and we’ve got sports going in here if you get tired of it at any point.”

“Only Steve and Lucas ever take him up on that,” Joyce teases. “He’s dying for more sports fans.”

“I mean, I was on the girls curling team in Chicago…”

“Curling?” Eddie repeats, “like the one where you play shuffleboard on ice?”

She nods, “yeah and I was really good at it. My team was the regional champion.” She wanders into the living room after that and sits on the couch beside Hopper, “what teams do you like?”

Eddie listens in for a second but then he heads more into the kitchen, Argyle is already home with the pizzas, he’s just making a salad to go with it all. Jonathan was on pickup duty, using Argyle's van so they all had a place to sit. El was at Mike's, Will’s down the hall in his room… the house is pretty quiet right now. It wouldn’t be for long.

He stands at the counter beside argyle, “hey…”

“Hey,” argyle gives him a smile. “What’s got you so glum, my dude?”

He shrugs, “it’s been a weird day.”

“Meeting your long-lost twin’ll do that,” Argyle teases. “Seriously, are you sure Wayne isn’t your dad too? You’re like identical.”

Eddie manages to laugh, “yeah, I don’t think so unless Wayne’s taking it to the grave, I’m pretty sure his asshole brother is my father… but yeah, I see it too.”

“I’d love to meet my own doppelgänger,” Argyle says with excitement. “It would be cool to see someone, specifically a girl someone, who looked just like me and now you’ve got that! It’s sick.”

“If you think so,” Eddie huffs, resting his chin in his hand and leaning against the counter. “She’s a prettier, shinier version of me… everyone's gonna end up loving her more and I’m going to be alone again.”

Argyle puts the salad tongs down and places his hand on Eddie’s shoulder instead, “it won’t be like that, man, I promise. You’re very special. What would we do without your songs and your jokes and the way you make everyone smile? Sure, she’s nice to look at but you’re you and that’s why we love you.”

He gives argyle a side hug, “thanks, man, really. That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Meant every word,” Argyle smiles.

Just then the front door opens again and Steve’s familiar, “heey!!” Rings through the house. Both Eddie and Argyle head out to see him and Robin, entering the main room of the house and they see Steve’s jaw drop as he looks at Roxy for the first time. He goes right into Casanova mode, runs his fingers through his hair before he extends his hand to her and smiles, “hi, I’m Steve…”

“Roxy,” she shakes his hand firmly and smiles back. “Nice to meet you… and you,” she turns to Robin and freezes, the same look that was on Steve’s face is now on Roxy’s as she looks at Robin. “Hi?”

Robin smiles back, “so you’re the lookalike I’ve heard so much about.”

“What?” Roxy doesn’t understand.

“You and Eddie, you’re like twins,” She laughs, “although you are much prettier….”

Roxy blushes and laughs, she tucks her hair behind her ear and stutters on her words, “th-thanks… thank you.”

“No problem,” Robin gives her one last smile and then keeps walking inside. “Is dinner ready? I’m starving!”

“Sure is! follow me,” Argyle leads her back into the kitchen and Roxy follows quickly behind her.

Leaving Steve to walk up to Eddie and wrap his arm around him, “you okay?”

Eddie nods, “yep. Just peachy.”

They grab their plates and load them up with pizza and dipping sauces and salad, they have beers and sodas and chips for later when they’re hungry again. It’s the same every week, Joyce and Argyle will do anything to make sure the party is happy and fed and has a good time… they’re the best moms the party could ask for.

In the basement, there are 4 mismatched couches and an array of other seats. Beanbags, a hanging chair thats secured to one of the log beams in the ceiling and a single plastic lawn chair… getting enough seats for everyone was hard. And now there’s 1 more person in their group.

Robin and Roxy take a seat next to each other, already getting to know each other, it makes Eddie relax a bit as he sits beside Steve. There’s a ruckus above them, meaning the kids have arrived with Jonathan and Nancy, and the party was about to really start.

Steve can’t stop looking at Eddie, “are you sure you’re okay?”

He just nods, “yeah… I just want to eat and say hi to everyone and then go home.”

“Oh,” Steve's face drops. “Are you still feeling anxious? Do you want a hug?”

He looks over to Roxy and Robin, talking just loud enough to be heard by one another and fully absorbed in another world together. Eddie puts his plate down on the coffee table and Steve copies him, opening his arms and letting Eddie in for a quick hug, “you can always talk to me.”

Eddie pulls back a bit too quickly, looking over to Roxy again who didn’t see anything. She was already asking about Steve earlier, she already knew Steve was important to Eddie just by the tone of his voice… Steve’s so, so important to him. He just stares at Steve and it all comes tumbling out, “she lives in the apartments I grew up in… she’s living where my mom died, Steve.”

“Oh,” Steve knows the stories. All of them. They’ve spent many a night awake in Eddie’s trailer, staring up at the ceiling with their shoulders pressed together… sharing a blanket and holding hands while they shared every secret they had. Well, all but one.

“Do you want me to drive her home for you? I can tell her to only call me for rides and shit, you don’t need to go through that—”

“You don’t have to,” Eddie panics more thinking about Roxy and Steve spending a bunch of alone time together too. “Really, don’t. I can do it.”

“But if it's going to bring back your memories then you don’t have to, I’m okay bringing her home, Robin won’t mind… clearly,” he references over to them. “I haven’t seen her flirt like that before?”

“She took a page from your book,” Eddie teases, bumping Steve’s shoulder with his own.

“Yeah, and she knew I wanted to ask her out too…”

“What?” Eddie’s heart breaks right then and there.

“If it’s okay? I just… I thought maybe it would be nice cause she’s new and she doesn’t know me and—

“She has no preconceived notions about you,” Eddie finishes his sentence. “No, I get it. It’s fine.”

It’s not. It’s really fucking not. Because here Eddie was loving every single part of Steve, every story and mistake, every fear and dream and freckle and hair on his stupid fucking head. But, of course, Steve wants something different. He wants to butter her up and embellish the truth about himself and go back to being King Steve… The lover boy of the land, he could have his pick but he still wants something shiny and new and he definitely doesn’t want Eddie back.

He stands up then, “I uh, I forgot some napkins, I’ll be back.”

“Okay…”

Steve watches him leave, taking the steps 2 at a time until he’s back upstairs. He turns down the hallway and heads towards the bedrooms and the bathrooms where he bumps right into Will. He’s already crying, his face is red from trying to hold it in until he gets to the bathroom but he can't. He chokes on a sob as he pushes past Will and into the bathroom.

“Hey, hey, Eddie, what’s wrong?” Will follows him right into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them. “What’s wrong? Is it a memory? A flashback? What is it?”

Eddie just wraps him up in a hug and cries, “it’s Steve…”

“Oh,” Will settles and holds him gently, running his hand over eddies back. “I know…”

Will knows better than anyone in the house, hell better than anyone in the whole town, what it’s like to be in love with your sisters boyfriend. Its the exact reason why Eddie let Will follow him and why he’s able to tell him the truth. “He wants to ask out Roxy.”

“Who?” Will asks, not caught up on everything cause he’s been in his room all day.

Eddie sighs and pulls back, wiping the tears off his cheeks and taking another deep breath. He leans against the sink, “my uncle has a daughter and she showed up today. Her name is Roxy and she’s pretty and a girl and of course Steve wants to date her.”

“Boys are so stupid,” Will just shakes his head. “I was rooting for Steve, too… I thought he’d figure out that he’s in love with you but he’s still being so stupid about it.”

“He’s worse than Mike,” Eddie manages to tease him, bringing a smile back to his own face.

Will just nods along, “I literally confessed all my feelings to him… well, I was pretending that it was what El thought about him and the idiot didn’t see through me at all. He just nodded along and was like ‘oh yeah? Huh, I guess she does always need me’ like no idiot! I do!”

“I ran through a swarm of killer bats for him… I would’ve died so he could make it back to Dustin and he still wants my cousin more than me,” Eddie shares. “I thought we were building something here, I thought he was going to figure it out that what we have is more than just friends… friends don’t sleep in the same bed and share hugs and I know for a fact he kissed my shoulder one night. I didn’t dream that. So why the fuck is he going after my cousin?”

“Does she look like you?”

Eddie nods, “like exactly the same just with tits.”

Will looks at him with a tilt of his head, “oh, Steve’s so dumb… he’s definitely in love with you and thinking this is his chance to be normal if he can just date the girl version of you.”

“You think?”

Will nods, “absolutely… I remember when Steve was dating Nancy she looked so much like Tommy H. they had the same curly hair and freckles but Nancy is a girl, she’s the safe option and then he fell in love with her.”

“How do you know that?” Eddie’s shocked, for a kid 4 years younger than Harrington, he sure knew the drama.

“Jonathan had no friends before Nancy and Argyle so he would tell me everything and we gossiped a lot… he would hear crazy shit while smoking the weed you sold him under the bleachers and then he’d come home and tell me. Like, this one time, Carole was saying that Tommy wanted a threesome with Billy, but before he wanted one with Steve but Steve was never interested and it always made Tommy really angry and then a few weeks later they broke up and she said ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if he asks Wheeler and the perv for a threesome next.’ So…”

“Holy shit,” Eddie’s jaw drops and he chuckles slightly, “they weren’t kidding when they called you Will the Wise.”

He shakes his head with a smile, “they weren’t… I get it from my mom.”

“That you do,” Eddie smiles, knowing from Steve that Joyce and Nancy’s knowledge, in the beginning, is the reason they won in the end. “It’s just hard waiting for him to get his head out of his ass… even the thing with your brother was so homosexually charged.”

“What happened with my brother?”

“Did Jonathan leave out the part where he kicked the shit out of Steve so bad he had a concussion?”

“I knew he threw a punch…” Will says, thinking back on it. He was only 13 when he went missing, of course, Jonathan held back on some stuff from that week.

“Oh, no, he kicked his ass,” Eddie smiles but feels bad about it. “Tommy painted Nancy the slut Wheeler on the theatre's matinee and they got in a verbal fight in the alleyway and Jonathan took the first swing and he finished it before the cops rolled in and took Jonathan away.”

“Oh…”

“It was a rough week, Steve egged him on, he deserved it,” Eddie can’t help but side with Jonathan after knowing the whole truth. Including what Steve called Will; it’s something he’s also not going to tell Will about. Everyone wanted to spare Will the hurt of knowing the names he’s been called behind his back.

“Huh,” Will thinks about it a little harder. “Sounds like Steve uses violence to get close to men… didn’t you pin him to a wall and hold a bottle to his throat? Or did Dustin exaggerate that?”

Eddie nods, “oh, yeah, I did that…” he presses his lips together awkwardly, it was a very intense, very hot, moment between them. He thinks about it often.

“Maybe you need to have a fight,” Will suggests. “Not, like, physical, but get your feelings out, raise your voice, get in his face and wait for him to kiss you.”

Eddie laughs again, “okay, alright… that’s not a bad idea?”

“He just needs a push.”

“What about Mike? You’re not actively trying to push him and El apart, are you?”

He shakes his head, “no, no, I’d never do that to her. I love her, she’s my sister… I’m actually trying to get over Mike. I’ll just be single until I meet another gay person my age and then I’ll see where it goes.”

“I know someone,” Eddie proposes. “You know him too… if you’re okay with me telling him about you, maybe he’d want to ask you out?”

“Really?” Will lights right up. “And they’re 16?”

“He’s 17…” Eddie says, not wanting to give away that it’s Gareth. He hasn’t told any of the new Hellfire members, only the band knows.

“Yeah, no, I’d love that,” Will brightens right up. “That would be great.”

“I’ll work on that for you,” he pats Will on the shoulder, “now come on, it’s gonna be weird if they see us leaving together.”

“Here,” Will opens the cupboard behind the sink and grabs a bandaid, “I was just showing you where these are.”

“Smart… and thanks, sorry for breaking down on you, it’s been a weird fuckin day,” Eddie sighs and heads for the door. “I never normally cry.”

“No problem, it’s our secret,” Will really doesn’t mind, he follows Eddie out into the hall and then back into the kitchen unseen.

Eddie pats his shoulder one more time before slipping past him and heading back downstairs to his dinner. His spot beside Steve is still empty, the kids are meeting Roxy and asking her all about how she found Eddie and Wayne after so many years.

“Well, his name being in the news for murder was a big help… I always knew my dad’s name but I had no idea how to track down all the Wayne Munsons who went to some random festival in the mid-60s,” Roxy shares. “But Wayne told me it wasn’t Eddie at all, it was actually the lab here in town and a bunch of kids died? What the heck happened?”

They all look at each other and shrug, playing it off that they had no idea. Dustin says they have no clue what the details are, “we’re just glad he got off the hook 'cause we would’ve been charged with harbouring a wanted criminal if not…”

“And what a great job you did at that,” Eddie teases. “At least in jail I’d get clean clothes and 3 meals a day…”

“We can find something to send you to jail if thats where you want to be,” Steve teases him, reaching out for his hand to tug him back down to the sofa. “Your pizza is getting cold…”

“You wanna warm it up for me, hot stuff?” Eddie whispers, getting in his space and making Steve blush.

He pushes Eddie back, “shut up.”

“Make me…”

Steve picks up Eddie’s slice of pizza and brings it to his mouth, all but shoving the slice in there, forcing him to take a bite. “there.”

Eddie takes a big bite and Steve pulls the rest of the slice away, putting it back on the plate. Eddie watches him intently, he’s so madly in love it makes his stomach turn and flutter up to his throat. He was to look away or he’ll choke on the bite, he places his hand on his chest after, it took a lot to do that without coughing to death in front of him, and Steve noticed too.

He placed his hand on Eddie’s back and patted him a few times like a newborn baby, “you good?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he waves it off, slightly embarrassed.

Steve keeps his hand on Eddie’s back and gently runs his hand up toward his shoulder, he gives him a good squeeze and pulls him into a side hug. Eddie tilts his head toward him and Steve does the same, the bump noggins and smile before turning back to everyone else.

—

The kids usually sleep over in Will’s basement after their pizza parties, sometimes Eddie brings Max home but tonight she’s staying with El. Robin and Roxy are having a blast talking to each other and now Steve has slid into the spot beside her on the couch with his arm around the back of the couch, basically around her.

“I’m going to head out,” Eddie announces, pointing towards the door. “Rox did you want to drive home with Steve? He goes past your apartment anyway.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” Steve throws in for good measure, “it would be nice to talk to you, I haven’t been able to get a word in edge wise with Robin here.”

“I would love that,” Roxy gives Steve a smile. “Uh, I’ll see you tomorrow though? Wayne invited me for dinner cause he has the night off.”

“Right,” Eddie clearly had no idea. Steve could see it in his face. “Have a good night… see you guys.”

Everyone cheers goodbye and he gets a few waves before he heads towards the stairs and starts his journey home. Alone. For the first Friday night in a long time.

“I think I’m going to go with him,” Robin announces, “it was lovely to meet you but I don’t want him to leave without me…”

“Oh, okay, bye Robin!” Roxy waves her off and then it’s just her and Steve and a bunch of children. “I guess we shouldn’t stay too much longer, that would be weird…”

“We can go whenever you like?” Steve leaves it completely up to her.

“Let’s go,” she stands up and reaches out a hand to help him to his feet as well.

Steve takes it with a smile, she was just as chivalrous as Eddie… he says goodbye to the kids, Dustin pats his shoulder during their goodbye hug and whispers in his ear, “good luck, she’s cool.”

“Thanks,” he mumbles back, “call me tomorrow if you need a ride home.”

“Will do,” Dustin says, giving Steve and Roxy a smile and a wave. “Drive safe.”

“it was so nice to meet you guys,” Roxy says one last time, “thank you for letting me come.”

“Anytime,” a few of the boys say. “Come back next week,” Dustin adds.

Lucas agrees too, “Yeah, and Max said she loved having another girl at the party now. She wanted me to say bye if she wasn’t down here when you leave, so, Bye from Max…”

“Tell her in the morning I loved meeting her too,” Roxy gives them all a smile and one last wave, “see ya!”

They wave her off and she follows Steve up the stairs, they put their shoes back on by the door and Steve hands her the leather jacket on the hook, expecting it to be hers. “Thanks,” she smiles. “Am I that obvious?”

“You’re just a lot like Eddie,” he admits.

“Which is crazy, honestly, no one at my high school was like me and now I come here and we’re like twins?” She says with a laugh, feeling a bit too loud as she looks over into the living room where Joyce and Hop are cuddling on the couch. “Oh, sorry… thank you for having me tonight, you guys have a lovely family.”

“Oh, anytime sweetheart,” Joyce gives her a sweet smile.

“You be careful on the road,” Hopper points to Steve, “the news is saying there’s a fog rolling in tonight so no dilly-dallying.”

“Sure thing, dad,” Steve rolls his eyes as he opens the front door. “See you later.”

“Bye guys,” Joyce calls back to them as they leave.

Steve leads her outside towards his car and unlocks her passenger door, opening it for her. “Why thank you, kind sir,” she pats Steve on the shoulder and then gets into the seat. Steve closes the door behind her and rushes over to the driver's side.

“So, Eddie said you’re in the apartments above the shops?” Steve double-checks as he starts the engine.

She nods, “yeah, it’s not much but I wanted a place close to my dad, even if he didn’t want me I still wanted to live here and get to know him.”

“Wayne would never not want you,” Steve assures, “believe me, from what I know about Eddie’s childhood, Wayne is meant to be a dad and take care of people, he loves everyone in Eddie’s life just as much, too.”

She smiles, “yeah, he talked very highly of Eddie… I’m still waiting for him to warm up to me.”

“He’s kinda stuck in the mindset that the love people give him is conditional, he’s afraid Wayne will leave him for you,” Steve spills the beans. “Don’t tell him I told you, but, just keep in mind that Wayne has been his whole world for the last like 9 years of his life and he’s been through so much this year that he needs that one aspect of his life to stay the same… he can’t lose Wayne.”

“I don’t plan on taking him,” she reiterates. “I really don’t, I just want to talk to him and celebrate a birthday with him and give him a fathers day present and hear that he’s proud of me… I want to feel like I’m part of a family that loves me for me.”

“I get that,” Steve really gets it, actually. He lets everything go quiet while he backs out of the Byers driveway and heads towards downtown. “I uh… I’ve always known both my parents but I didn’t feel like I had a family before when it was just me and them.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom and my grandparents but… they don’t get me,” she has to explain for good measure. “They weren’t abusive or anything it just wasn’t fun being there for the last 18 years.”

“Well, you’re here now and there’s lots of love in our little friend group to go around, so,” Steve gives her a smile. “Speaking of… if you ever wanted to hang out just like, me and you, without the rest of them, that would be nice… don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” she lights right up too. “I’m having dinner with Wayne tomorrow but I’m free the next night?”

“Sounds good,” Steve can’t stop the smile on his face. “I uh, I work till 5 but I can get you at 6?”

“That works for me,” she smiles right back. “You’ll have to pick the spot, I don’t know what’s around here.”

“There isn’t much, but Benny’s diner reopened last month so if you like diner food…”

“I have been dying for a good old diner burger,” she assures him. “This’ll be fun, I’ve never had good friends like this.”

“It’s life-changing, believe me.”

—

“and then he asked to ask her out?!” Eddie freaks out more towards the end of his story, parked in front of Robin's house while she listens to his ramble.

Robin just sighs and leans back against the seat. “I never told you he was smart.”

“This is killing me, Rob,” he turns to her with tears in his eyes. “She gets to call Wayne her dad, she gets to date Steve, everyone loved her as soon as she walked into the room… it took me years to get this and she got it all in 10 fucking seconds?”

“I don’t know how to comfort you,” Robin admits. “On one hand I know this is just your anxiety about things changing again but on the other hand… I like her so I’m part of the problem.”

“I don’t want people to not like her,” Eddie says with a sigh, he rubs his face quickly and groans from deep inside himself. “I’m overreacting, I know that, but it hurts. It physically fucking hurts that I have to share her with MY people. Wayne and Steve are my people.”

“Okay, watch yourself,” she gets jealous then. “But Steve does love you, I know that, but he loves me too and he loves Dustin and he loves Max and Lucas and Erika… I’m not sure how he is with Mike honestly, it’s a toss-up, but he loves everyone. He has the room to love people. He’s been waiting to love people like this his whole life.”

“I know…”

“Do you?” Robin questions, staring him down. “Steve loves you so much he let me and Nancy kill vecna alone so he could stay with you two. And thank fucking god he did because I wouldn’t be able to deal with him if he lost you that day, you were being an idiot thinking you could take on those bats alone.”

“He stayed for Dustin…?”

Robin shakes her head, “No. He knows that Dustin knows how to follow orders and make it out fine. He stayed for you.”

A tear tumbles down his cheek and he’s quick to wipe it away with the back of his hand. “I just wanted to win.”

“And we did,” robin reaches out and takes his hand in hers. “We won, Vecna died, the gates are closed and Hop came back to clear your good name. That’s the biggest win we could’ve ever expected…”

“Is it really a win if it brought her here?” Eddie asks, feeling a bit terrible for how much he regrets opening the door for her.

Robin nods, a smirk growing on her face, “what if she’s more like you than you thought?”

“Hm?” His brows go up. “No way…”

“You’re gay, Wayne has that thing with Mr. Clarke that no one wants to talk about… but I see it. I know there’s something fruity going on there, she’s gotta be like us,” Robin rants.

“What thing with Mr. Clarke?”

“Has Steve not told you?” Robin gawks, jaw dropped, “no… really?”

“Clearly, I have no idea what you’re talking about?”

“Mr. Clarke comes in and gets a movie every Saturday morning and Wayne drops the same VHS tape off Sunday before he goes to work… he brings it right to the desk too like I didn’t check it out to Scott the day before?” She explains. “Like, really…? it’s so clear they’re having dates on Wayne’s only day off.”

“I’m learning way too much today,” Eddie rubs his eyes, shaking his head. “Holy fuck? Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Dustin said their cots were side by side in the gym after the earthquake, he found them talking when you got arrested,” Robin keeps explaining, hoping she’s making it somewhat better the more he knows. “I think it’s either a trauma bond friendship or they’re dating. It’s been 3 months.”

“I’m normally with Steve on Saturdays,” he whispers, realizing why he hasn’t noticed this… it’s cause he’s not home as often as he used to be. “Oh my god, I’m such an ass… here I am scared that I’m going to lose him when I’ve barely talked to him in the last 3 months?”

“So maybe Roxy showing up is a good thing, maybe she’s meant to bring everyone together?” She suggests, eyes full of hope. And maybe she’s right… Robin typically is.

“Okay,” he gives in. “I’ll give her a chance.”

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 4 years ago

Text

Camlann, except no one is being held back by stupid destinies;

Merlin manages to keep Morgana and Mordred on the side of the light, which has a few rather influential knock-on effects.

Morgause leads her army onto the barren fields of Camlann, her hair and eyes wild, but her sword and focus sharp. Opposite stands her traitor sister’s half brother, the Boy-King of Camelot, surrounded by his precious knights. Today, they would all die, she would make certain of that.

Arthur struggles to keep his hands from trembling, he’s well aware that this battle will likely be his, and subsequently Camelot’s, downfall, but his nerves are settled slightly by Merlin’s comforting presence at his side. Which he feels immensely guilty at.

He’d done his best to urge Merlin to run, to take Gwen and Gaius and maybe even Morgana, to go to Ealdor to pick up his mother and run even further, just in case. Merlin had refused of course; Gwen and Morgana had squawked at Arthur’s stupid chivalry and planted their feet firmly in the throne room, a symbolic last line of defence, and Gaius rolled his eyes and reaffirmed that he would be in the infirmary tent, as planned.

He’d given his men his speech and they all seemed content to die for the cause, for one last desperate attempt to keep their home safe, but that didn’t stop the freezing claw of guilt from shredding Arthur’s lungs every time he took a breath. They were just waiting now. For someone to make the first move, for Morgause to get a little closer, for someone to send a messenger.

Arthur’s broken from his stare when a warm, soft, steady hand takes his gently. His head whips to the side to see Merlin, stood without armour (oh, how The King despaired) staring at him with a slight frown. A frown, Arthur thinks, that should be much deeper, and much more afraid. He’s grateful it isn’t. He’s not sure he could cope with seeing Merlin scared:

“Arthur, if... if I knew a way to win this, once and for all, with not a drop of Camelot blood spilt... would you let me?”

It takes Arthur a few moments to process what Merlin had said, on account of his brain focusing on how grateful he is to hear his voice and feel the warmth of his hand instead of actually listening to him speak, but when he does, he copies his servant’s frown, though his is slightly more confused. He doesn’t let go of Merlin’s hand as he responds, instead tightening his grip:

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

Merlin gulps and looks away briefly, a look of guilt if Arthur ever saw one, but he finds he doesn’t really care. They’re all about to die, he’d forgive Merlin anything:

“If I could win this battle, and the war, right here, right now. Would you let me?-”

At Arthur’s continued perplexed look, Merlin rolls his eyes and huffs, smirking slightly as he adds on:

“-Just humour me.”

Arthur gulps, glancing towards the slowly advancing army before once again squeezing Merlin’s hand and looking back at him:

“It would... depend on the consequences, I suppose. Would you get hurt?”

Merlin shakes his head, then stops, and tilts it sideways as though he’s considering something he’d really rather not think about. He can’t meet Arthur’s gaze as he responds:

“I... might need a few hours to rest, afterwards, but any... long term consequences would depend on your reaction.”

Arthur recoils slightly at that, frown deepening as he shakes his head, completely oblivious to the keen listening ears of his six most loyal knights, and another, hidden towards the back of the group. If he’d turned to see them, Arthur would’ve noticed the blank looks of steely determination on Lancelot and Mordred’s faces:

“Well we would never have to worry about that. I... I could never see you hurt, Merlin.”

The King’s voice cracks as he mentions Merlin getting hurt, and the servant’s gaze softens, knowing that Arthur was thinking of their inevitable demise, creeping closer and closer. He squeezes his hand, giving him a soft smile as his other hand lifts up to rest on his shoulder; his question comes out soft and pleading:

“Do you trust me?”

Arthur has to use all of his self control not to yell his answer across Camlann:

“More than anyone.”

Merlin smiles sadly and steps back, dropping both of his still-steady hands to his sides; Arthur feels the gap between them more heavily than he feels the armour on his back. Merlin goes to turn away without another word, but before he can take even one step, a figure is pushing through to the front, gripping his wrist and pulling him back:

“I’m coming too.”

Arthur’s eyes go comically large as he hears Morgana’s voice come from under the hood. He steps forward to rip it down, and she only spares him an annoyed glance before she’s back to staring purposefully at Merlin. A gasp goes up around the group from all bar two, and Mordred dismounts his horse, walking forward to be in line with Morgana. The three of them entirely ignore Arthur’s outraged words:

“Morgana, what the hell are you doing here? You need to be safe at the castle, you’re meant to take the crown what the hell are you doing here?!”

Merlin meets Morgana’s determined glare with a resigned one of his own:

“No, this is my-”

Mordred interrupts him, his voice strong in a way that Arthur had never heard from the youngest knight before:

“No. No, it’s not. You’re not just fighting for Camelot, Merlin, you’re fighting or us, for our people.”

Merlin looks like he wants to argue, but Morgana crosses her arms and holds her head high as she speaks:

“You’re making a stand and you have no right to stop us from doing the same. This is bigger than you, bigger than all three of us, this is our fight just as much as it is yours.”

Merlin can only hold their stare for so long before he sighs and looks to the floor, entirely oblivious to the knights panicking (bar Lancelot, of course). He looks up with a small, relaxed smile on his face, and if Arthur weren’t so preoccupied with the fact that Morgana was definitely not supposed to be here, he would’ve found Merlin’s almost-nonchalance calming. The servant holds both his hands out:

“Together?”

Mordred grins widely, taking one of Merlin’s wrists as he responds confidently:

“For Camelot.”

Morgana does the same, a sudden wind whipping her hair behind her wildly:

“For our people.”

Without another moment’s of hesitation, Merlin turns and marches towards Morgause and her army. His steps are purposeful and strong, and Arthur can’t bring himself to stop him, no matter how desperately his brain is screaming at him. Morgana turns to him with a not-quite-cruel smirk:

“This has been a long time coming, brother. Enjoy the show.”

Arthur can only blink in surprise as she turns and walks towards Merlin. Mordred looks to him next, though the young knight’s smile is a lot softer, a lot more pitying:

“You should consider yourself lucky, Arthur,-”

Arthur barely registers the use of his first name:

“-my Lord gave up his throne in favour of serving you, buried his crown in favour of polishing yours.”

Arthur shakes his head slightly, his voice quiet and confused and strained as he asks:

“Your Lord?”

Mordred looks to Merlin, still marching across the seemingly never-ending field, with an awed smile; his voice is quiet and holds notes of what almost sound like worship:

“He’s more than you know.”

Before Arthur can respond, Merlin and Morgana stop, turning to look at Mordred expectantly. Merlin stares blankly, his brows slightly furrowed, but Morgana sports a wild grin as she yells back:

“I though you wanted to join in on the fun, Mordred?”

The young knight grins in response, turning to Arthur and giving him one last short bow as he cheerfully says, not a trace of worry in his voice:

“Lady Morgana is right My Lord, enjoy the show.”

He turns away quickly, jogging to catch up with the other two before anyone can say anything. Gwaine is the first to react, jumping off his horse and starting forward, to catch up with them, to pull them back, to ask them what the fuck was going on, but Lance quickly lands behind him, grabbing his shoulder:

“Wait, don’t. You trust them right?-”

He casts his gaze around the others, all looking slightly confused but mostly panicked as they dismount their horses. Mordred, Merlin, and Morgana make their journey to the centre of the field, but Lancelot’s eyes focuses on Arthur:

“-You said you trusted him, so just... this is what he does, Arthur. Please, just trust him, everything’s going to be ok.”

Arthur is desperate to question his knight, to demand that he explain what’s going on and give up anything, everything he knows, but before he can say anything, Elyan gasps and points somewhere beyond their friends. The whole army seems to resume their earlier jitters as Morgause differentiates herself from her soldiers.

The three magic users spread out slightly as they come to a stop, Mordred on the left, Morgana on the right, and Merlin, of course, in the middle.

A storm seems to be fast approaching and the loud wind makes hearing each other difficult, but they don’t need words to speak, and Mordred’s question echoes in Merlin’s head as all of their gazes focus on Morgause stepping forward:

“Are the other two coming?”

The Warlock nods, tapping his finger to his temple briefly as he replies:

“I called for them hours ago, they’re almost-”

Arthur is distracted from all that’s in front of him when a desperate and terrified voice screeches out from the back of his army:

“DRAGONS!!”

He, and all the other knights, whip their heads around in panic, only to see exactly what had been yelled about. The Dragon that Arthur had supposedly killed years ago is flying towards them like a hurricane, golden scales shining bright even in the shadows of the approaching storm. Next to him flies a much smaller dragon, pure white and clearly young, unstable in the air but still graceful, still terrifying.

Arthur’s heart sinks even impossibly further as they both fly straight over them, aiming for the other side of the field. If Morgause had two Dragons at her beck and call somehow, there was no hope, no matter what ridiculous plan Merlin had. Arthur felt the tears fill his eyes, but he didn’t let them fall. If this was to end in fire, then he’d sprint to Merlin, just so he could see him, hold his hands, beg him for a smile, one last time.

Lancelot holds him back with a hand on his shoulder and a soft smile:

“I know this doesn’t make sense, but just... trust him.”

He turns back to Merlin just to see the great beasts land in front of them, almost acting as a barrier between the three of them and the opposing army.

“-Took you long enough.”

Kilgharrah does his best imitation of rolled eyes before dipping his head in a bow:

“Where would you like us, young Warlock?”

Merlin grins, allowing Aithusa to push her head into his hands as he answers:

“I want you somewhere off to the side looking vaguely threatening. Only intervene if you have to, I don’t want the Camelot knights getting twitchy and skewering you, you’re an old man after all, I’m not sure you could take it.-”

Morgana laughs aloud and Mordred snorts behind his hand, but Kilgharrah just rolls his eyes again, giving another bow that this time somehow seems sarcastic before clomping off to the side, prowling up and down the edge of the field and huffing the occasional puffs of smoke in the opposition’s direction. Merlin looks down to Aithusa next, scratching her chin and using a much softer voice:

“Go watch over Arthur, keep him safe but don’t let him or any of the others hurt you, I’m sure Lance will explain. Try to stay out of the fighting and don’t let Morgause get anywhere near Arthur or the knights, you understand?”

The creature purrs and nods, stepping around her master and beginning an impossibly fast sprint towards Arthur.

Arthur stares with wide eyes at the gathering in the middle of the field, letting out a deep breath when the Great Dragon bows down to Merlin’s confident stance. The smaller creature bounds to him as he... exchanges words with the beasts, and all Arthur can do is stare as his brain argues over which emotion should be at the forefront. Fear? Confusion? Betrayal? Some kind of guilt? Pride, maybe?

Lancelot definitely looks proud, worried, but proud, and Arthur spares him a questioning glance; before he can say anything, Leon lets out a quiet yelp, pointing across the field and drawing his sword on instinct. Arthur whips his head around to see the white Dragon speeding towards them, eyes bright, teeth bared, and sharp claws ripping up the ground with every step.

He draws his own sword, panic clawing at his gut, but before he can step forward in some pointless attempt to protect his men, Lancelot pulls him back again, stepping in between Arthur and the approaching Dragon with a placating hand held out to each of them; his voice comes out quickly and desperate:

“No, no, she’s on our side, don’t hurt her. Merlin sent her here to protect us, don’t hurt her.”

Arthur stares between them with a mix of blood-curdling fear and endless confusion. But he trusts Merlin, and he trusts Lancelot, so much to Leon’s displeasure he lowers his sword, though he doesn’t sheath it, not yet.

The Dragon finally reaches them, coming to a skidding stop a few feet away. Arthur’s fear is overpowered by confusion, and an odd fondness in the back of his mind, when the creature almost topples over in it’s haste. She purrs loudly, and even Leon appears to relax slightly, even more so when she dips her head in what appears to be a bow to Arthur, before turning her attention to Lancelot and pushing her face into his hands.

The other knights all start forward on instinct, but when Lance lets out a low chuckle and begins... scratching the creature’s chin?? They step back again, watching as the Dragon begins purring even louder, almost bowling Lancelot over as it rubs it’s scaled body across his legs. It’s... acting like a cat...

Gwaine coughs very deliberately and Lancelot looks up with a blush, biting his lip before saying, his words awkward and stilted:

“Uh... guys, this is Aithusa, she’s... a Dragon. She can’t speak yet, but-”

Percival makes a confused noise in the back of his throat, shaking his head with wide eyes as he asks incredulously:

“Dragons are meant to be able to speak??”

Lancelot grimaces, but nods, but before he can say anything, Morgause’s crazed voice echoes over the field, and their attention is drawn back to the face off between Merlin, Morgana, Mordred, and the enemy.

“You can not beat me, not even with your precious pets!!”

The gang can hear Kilgharrah’s low growl at the insult and the sound vibrates across the ground and up into their very bones, even with the distance between them. Aithusa tenses in response, eyes narrowed and teeth bared as she detects the anger and insult swarming in her Kin, but Merlin holds a hand out to the Great Dragon, and both creatures relax as he monotonously responds:

“I’m giving you one chance, Morgause, do not send your followers to a pointless death.”

His tone is even and confident, his back straight, his head held high, and Arthur wonders how he’d never noticed Merlin’s obvious power before. Despite speaking normally, his voice is heard by everyone, even over the howling wind.

The knights can see Morgause’s hands shaking in her rage, her eyes wide and bright golden as she screeches her response, her anger showing through clearly:

“I am no coward!! You are nothing but a servant, a child soldier, and a pampered princess! What hope do you have against me?! I am a High Priestess, you are nothing!!!”

Merlin lowers his head, nodding slightly in resigned sadness. His muttered words, once again, somehow seem to echo across the field, and Arthur recoils at the grief in his tone:

“So be it.”

He slowly lifts his arm, holding it at a forty-five degree angle from the ground, his fingers splayed wide, and Elyan gasps, pointing wordlessly to the lightening dancing between his fingertips. Gwaine lets out a boisterous laugh, grinning as he realises with sudden clarity that Merlin is about to kick ass in a major way.

Arthur just gapes, struggling to process what was happening even as Gwaine whoops and Lancelot smiles proudly. The other knights are also staring, varying levels of confusion, awe, and happiness on their faces.

From where they’re standing, they can see Mordred and Morgana get into a fighting stance, though neither of them draw the swords they have hanging from their hips. Morgause lets out an ear piercing screech, this one wordless, giving the distinct impression that her mind had snapped under the weight of her fury. Her army begins their march forwards as she hurls a fireball the size of a horse straight for Merlin, but he simply twists his wrist sharply forwards. A bolt of lightening rips down from the sky, intercepting the fireball and forcing it to the ground where it explodes in a miniature storm of silver sparks and golden flames.

Morgause screams again, her and her army speeding up in their approach as Merlin gives some sort of unseen command. All of a sudden, Mordred gives a small leap forward, planting his feet firmly as he thrusts his hands towards the ground before ripping them up again; with the movement, the ground at his feet explodes, vines and rocks and roots bursting from the field in a sharp line heading straight for the army. Morgana, at the same time, swirls her arms gracefully around her head, a few sparks of fire lighting up in the darkness as if from the friction between her hands and the air. She brings her arms down again, completing the elegant flow, stepping forward as she blows harshly into her cupped hands. A great, hot fire bursts forth, huge and angry and writhing as it shoots towards the enemy.

A few feeble counter attacks are thrown from Morgause and the sorcerers she has in her ranks, but ultimately, the army can only look on in horror at their approaching deaths. After a few moments of Merlin staring proudly at Mordred and Morgana’s handy work as it rips apart the first few hundred soldiers, he takes his own step forward, raising his arm to the sky. Lightening dances between just his fingertips at first, then down his arm, then all over his body; he connects to the flashes in the sky, and he glows brighter and brighter until he thrusts both arms forward. A tornado of flashing, crackling light shoots out from his hands, striking down thousands of soldiers. Shards of lightening jump from enemy to enemy, leaving none untouched by magic, each being struck down by Mordred’s earth, Morgana’s fire, or Merlin’s sky.

The Camelot army can only stare on in shock and horror as the enemy is wiped out in minutes, screams of those being buried alive, burned as if on pyres, or fried from the inside out reverberating across the field. Arthur’s mouth hangs open, his eyes wide and frozen on Merlin as he conducts lightening as if it were what he was born to do. Something deep in Arthur’s soul tells him that this is what he was born to do.

Aithusa’s protection isn’t required; none of the enemy soldiers get within ten metres of Merlin and his pupils, let alone Arthur and the other knights, but she patrols the front edge of Camelot’s army regardless, nudging back those that step too far forward (everyone was too focused on The King’s manservant, knight, and half sister being... well... Godlike, to care about the fact that a Dragon was using her snout to gently push people around), always with one eye on Arthur, just like her master had asked.

Within minutes, the field goes almost silent; the only sounds to be heard are the gentle crackling of still-smouldering bodies, and the deep breaths of Morgause, Mordred, Morgana, and Arthur. Merlin seems entirely unbothered, his stance still strong and powerful where Mordred and Morgana sag slightly from the exertion.

Morgause falls to her knees, tears on her cheeks as she finally realises the power that she’s up against; Merlin tilts his head slightly before clicking his fingers. The four of them disappear in clouds of deep black smoke and Arthur struggles to stop himself from yelping and falling back when they reappear in front of him.

Morgause is still kneeling, Merlin in front of her with a blank expression on his face. Morgana stands to the side, her face an odd mix of sorrowfully defeated—Morgause was her sister after all—and vindictively victorious. Mordred stands at her shoulder, looking a lot more tired but still managing to stay upright as he gazes upon the scene with well put together indifference. Aithusa bounds over to be stood at her master’s side, and even Kilgharrah joins them, standing behind Aithusa a way’s off.

Morgause finally speaks through her deep breathing, staring up at Merlin in desperation:

“Who are you?”

Merlin just tilts his head and frowns slightly, crouching down to place a soft hand on her shoulder:

“Who do you think?”

Morgause sags even further, her tears streaming down her face as she almost whispers, her voice cracking:

“Emrys.”

Merlin nods slowly, looking to Arthur for the first time since the whole ordeal started. Arthur is taken aback at the shining gold of his eyes, but holds his gaze, gulping and waiting for his servant (?) to make the first move:

“Your orders, My Lord?”

Arthur takes a deep breath, looking first down at Morgause, who is staring at the floor blankly, then to Mordred and Morgana, who raise eyebrows at him, then Lancelot, who shrugs, and finally the other knights, who stare at him with wide eyes, waiting for his answer just as Merlin is. His hands clench at his side, but he looks back to the dark-haired man, his face determined and his voice strong:

“Your suggestion?”

Lancelot nods approvingly at Arthur’s obvious show of trust; the question is more than just a question, it’s a display that The King is treating Merlin like an advisor, asking for his counsel and trusting his allegiance in front of a crowd. Merlin smiles slightly, tightening his grip on Morgause’s shoulder, not that she notices:

“I’m not overly fond of execution, but we don’t have dungeons strong enough to hold her long term, and too many have suffered at her hand.”

Arthur nods, though he sheathes his sword. He takes a deep breath before his next instruction, knowing that this is... delicate, and important; a turning point in his Kingdom’s history:

“Make it merciful.”

Merlin holds in his proud smile and Morgause only has time to gasp quietly as his hand moves from her shoulder to her forehead. Her eyes roll back and she collapses to the floor, dead before she even hits the ground.

The Warlock spares the dead witch a quick, pitying glance, and the grief in his eyes, even after all she had done, is endearing, reminding everyone around them of the compassion Merlin is capable of. He stands quickly, but is careful not to make any of his moves too sudden, stepping away from the body and towards Arthur. His stance is strong once again, allowing some before unseen authority, confidence, power to shine through; Mordred and Morgana take their places either side of them, and even Aithusa sits up, tall and proud, as Kilgharrah edges forward slightly.

This is Merlin, showing off his army, presenting it to his King, offering it up for judgment. An army consisting of himself, his two apprentices, and two Dragons; not large, but likely the most powerful the land has ever known, and ever will know.

Arthur gulps, but meets Merlin’s golden gaze. The atmosphere is thick and charged and The King couldn’t pinpoint whether it was from the residual lightening still jumping between Merlin’s fingers, or the sheer power that was just displayed, seemingly effortlessly. He glances over the Warlock’s shoulder at the carnage behind him and can’t help but take a deep, fortifying breath. Merlin tilts his head, glancing at the massacre for just a moment before looking back with an almost repentant smile:

“I apologise for the theatrics,-”

He’s interrupted by Morgana’s whispered murmur of “I don’t, that was brilliant.” but ignores her:

“-but I can... fix that. If you like?”

Arthur frowns slightly, confused and so far out of his comfort zone that he doesn’t even want to hazard a guess at what Merlin might be implying. He feels a mould grow spontaneously in his gut, a horror with spores that spread throughout his bloodstream as he realises that... he doesn’t really know anything about magic, about how it works, about how Merlin is offering to use it. It had yet to occur to him to be afraid of Merlin, but the sudden realisation that he’d been persecuting his servant’s people with no real understanding of his own former hatred was... jarring.

The Warlock sees Arthur’s hesitation, widening his reassuring smile slightly as he repeats an earlier question, from a time that felt as though it had come years before, but was really only minutes. The discrepancy in timelines between Arthur’s head and the real world does not alter the King’s answer

“Do you trust me?”

“More than anyone.”

Merlin closes his eyes, holding his hands out to the side slightly as he lets out a deep breath. The storm, which Arthur and the knights had become entirely oblivious of despite it’s ruinous thunder and blinding flashes of lightening, quickly dissipates; blue sky and bright sun peek through the fading clouds. A gold shimmer ripples out across the ground from Merlin’s feet, spreading backwards like a wave over sand, turning pebbles and leaving the beach clean and fresh in it’s wake. The ground clears, bodies sinking into nothingness and fires being smothered by magic, even Morgause disappears into the dirt.

Arthur absentmindedly thinks that that could be seen as honorary or disgracing; he supposes it depends on what type of person you were before the end of your life. Merlin would see being entombed within the Earth itself as a blessing, he somehow thinks that Morgause, with her God complex and inflated feelings of infallibility, would find it... demeaning.

Merlin sags his head slightly, and when Arthur’s brain comes back into focus, mostly prompted by the gasping and widespread whispers of the uneasy army behind him, he sees that the barren fields of Camlann, soaked with blood and scorched by lightening, no longer exist. In their place was a vast meadow, bright with the colours of spring and summer; untameable wildflowers stood tall and crimson butterflies were the only reminders of the bloodshed that had watered this paradise before them.

Arthur feels the smile on his face before he had even made the conscious decision to smile, but he decides that today, of all days, he doesn’t mind accidentally wearing his heart on his sleeve. Trust Merlin to do something as unspeakable as rip an army to shreds with lightening, and then apologise for his dramatics by creating heaven on earth.

The King sighs before shaking his head slightly, letting out a short, disbelieving laugh. He can feel the sun on his skin, and his smile grows with the knowledge that the heat warming his cheeks was entirely unnatural for this time of year; Merlin really was pulling out all of the stops.

“You’re a gift to this world, Merlin.”

His voice comes out softly, as if he were afraid of ruining the peace, though he only adds to it; The King finally turns to his Warlock again and almost stumbles back at the immeasurable devotion shining from his now-blue-again eyes. His whispered response carries on the wind as if he were a part of it, and Arthur wonders just how much of this world Merlin has touched, just how much of this universe Merlin has created, extended himself to. Did the wind exist before Merlin? Did the sun? Did butterflies, or lightening, or the colour gold have any space in this universe before Merlin willed it? Gaius’ thick books say they have an answer, but Arthur thinks they might be lying:

“A gift to you, Arthur, only to you.”

THE END!

I’ve been looking forward to writing this one for a while, so I hope y’all liked it!! I LOVE writing BAMF!Merlin, (and BAMF!Mordred/Morgana as well so) :D

Same as always, you wanna extend it/write it properly/remix it, then that’s fine, but drop me message before hand and credit/tag me!! :)

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ladyeliot · 4 years ago

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Aftermath

Request: This is a request that @mycosmicparadise asked me for a long time ago. Sorry, sweetie.

Pairing: Tony Stark x Avenger Female Reader

Summary: After the events in New York, the team reunites to carry out the mission to get Loki's scepter, but things go wrong and your mission changes completely, now you have to go after Ultron, but you find yourself unable to keep your powers under control.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of abuse.

Word count: 3972

A/N: Avengers Age of Ultron. Some of the dialogue is taken from the film. Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Reader's powers: She is a powerful empath, as she can sense and manipulate other people's emotions. Proficient unarmed combatant.

Hydra, Research Base, Eastern Europe.

You felt like your insides were full of hate and rage, every person you met through the thick forest, the only thing they felt when they saw you was dislike, mixed with the anger of wanting to get rid of you. Your powers worked because you kept your own emotions under control, but it was a constant struggle, as you used to feel inside you the emotions that others possessed and that made your insides filled with every negative emotion.

"Shit!" you heard Tony through the relay you had inserted in the back of your ear.

"Language!" Steve instantly rebutted him.

You held your position through the thick forest of Sokovia, Hydra's base was on top of a mountain, or rather it was the mountain itself, for around it they had built a rather impenetrable base that you wanted to access in order to get the Sceptre that you were unable to take from Loki at the time. Numerous clearly trained soldiers were trying to stop you in your tracks. Jarvis had informed you that the building was protected by an energy shield, which was against you as it was the most advanced technology you had seen in any Hydra base of operations.

"Loki's sceptre must be in there," Thor announced, as you guarded one of those soldiers under your body rendering him completely unconscious. "They couldn't have those defences without it."

You ran across the field trying to close the gap with Natasha, who was a few metres ahead of you, Clint following.

"Okay," you said staring at one of your targets and getting him to lower his gun to tackle him, "so what do we do?"

"Wait a second," Tony interjected. "No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said "language?"

"I know," Steve replied, making your eyes roll at the distraction they were causing in the middle of the mission.

The graze of bullets was almost audible through your body, it seemed to go on forever, you had been going on for hours and all you could manage to do was run into more troops sent by Hydra to hold you in that quadrant of the forest. Natasha was trying to get rid of two guys who had tackled her, you turned to her and stared at one of them but just as you were about to make the mental connection something that you barely noticed made you fall to the ground.

"What the hell?" you exclaimed getting up again and looking around you hoping to find the cause of it.

"We've got an upgrade," Steve informed you.

"Wait, you don't call her 'language'?" Tony complained at the situation. "Okay, I'll tell her. Language!"

At that instant a muffled shout from Clint sounded behind you.

"Clint!" Natasha had effectively freed herself from the two henchmen and you both headed towards Clint, who had been shot from a bunker. "Clint's hurt. Can someone take care of that bunker?"

As if Natasha's words were an order, Hulk appeared out of nowhere to overwhelm the small building and the soldiers inside. You stood up and turned your full attention to your surroundings while Nat continued to perform the necessary treatment to alleviate the blow that your companion had received.

"Clint is in bad shape, he needs to be evacuated," Nat reported over the transmitter, as Thor and the Captain instantly landed next to you. "I can take Barton to the Quinjet," Thor replied and focused his gaze on Steve. "The sooner we leave the better.

"Copy that," Steve replied for both of you, but at that moment he noticed your face.

"Roger that," Steve replied for both of you, but at that moment he noticed your face. "Are you all right?"

You nodded, returning to an introspective position beside Natasha.

On the ride home, silence flooded the Quinjet more than ever, the mission had finally succeeded but it wasn't really in the air, it wasn't felt inside any of you, even though Stark had proposed a victory party.

The following days nothing had gone as planned, the analysis of the sceptre that Stark and Banner had carried out, more than an analysis it was a reconfiguration of a network of neurons that they had found, in order to create an artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence that they used in Stark's secret 'peacekeeping' programme called Ultron, designed to allow the Iron Legion to operate independently. That brought some trouble, when at the end of the Party he showed up to personally attack you, well rather, the whole of humanity, as Ultron thinks the best way to save Earth is to eradicate humanity, he might be partly right.

"Ultron is gone," Banner's voice echoed within the four walls of the lab, "he has used the internet as an escape route."

"Ultron," you whispered to yourself, as one hand covered your face thoroughly.

"He's been all over. Files, surveillance," Natasha explained. "He knows more about us than we know about each other."

As the conversation continued to escalate, emotional energies radiated through the atmosphere, and you picked up on every one of them. Negativity, gathered together with worry, confusion and concern took over your body, you still felt a resentment from the attack you experienced three days ago in Sokovia, which managed to heighten each of the sensations. You closed your eyes as you hid your face with one hand and the other voices became ominous, frustrating your senses. Natasha was the only person who seemed to notice your situation, stopping the voices with a "guys", but just as they stopped, a small laugh from a completely distracted Tony typing on the computer made you burst.

"You think that's funny?" the hand hiding your face disappeared to give way to hard features and a raised, gruff tone of voice, Tony turned and looked at you a little quizzically, but you could see a hidden smile.

"No," he said indifferently. "It probably isn't, is it? This is terrible, it's so..." again his laughter tackled him, causing you to be completely confused and your frustration to grow. "I know. It's so terrible."

"It's just as terrible that you're taunting all of us right now with your fucking arrogance," you said approaching him.

"No," his tone unlike yours seemed pleasant and friendly, "It really is funny, just like it's funny that you don't understand why we need him," Tony closed the distance with you, positioning the two of you in the middle of the lab, his voice had completely changed it was just as gruff as yours.

"Tony, maybe this isn't the time," Bruce interjected in a melodic tone.

"So, a killer robot was what we needed?" you reproached, lifting your chin to position yourself against his height. "The shield that was supposed to free us from alien threats frees us by wiping out all of humanity, yeah, really brilliant."

"Remember I put a nuke through a wormhole?" he rebuked you, recalling for the umpteenth time that night the event in New York. "Tell me, how did you plan to win that? What was your damned solution to get rid of that damned hostile alien army that came through that wormhole in space?"

"Together," Steve interjected quickly, causing Tony to look away from you and back at Steve.

You made the air rush into your lungs offering you some relaxation, instigating your mind to let positive memories come to you. Your differences with Tony were known, your understanding of his views was limited, a fact that generated the occasional verbal conflict between the two of you, let's just say you couldn't stand each other more than you deserved.

The night was long, mostly because there was hardly any rest after planning what you were going to do to stop Ultron, which led you to South Africa.

"She should stay," Nat's whisper reached your ears. "The mission in Sokovia has left her with aftermath she has yet to overcome."

"Oh, last night was a aftermath?" Tony from the pilot's seat added to the conversation. "Nice."

"You know I'm here and I can hear you?" you asked without opening your eyes from your seat. "I'm coming down, worry about you guys that..."

"Okay, listen," Tony stood up from the command post. "I may regret saying this but I agree with her. I think you should stay here with Banner. Keep you two company. Get to know each other better. You know."

"Why don't you stay here, Tony, and get to know Banner better?" you opened your eyes and looked at Tony, but thought for a second. "Well, I'd better not, lest you get the bright idea to create Ultron's sister."

"He's an only child," Tony countered your irony.

"The roles are split," you added as a definitive point. "I'll take the girl, you take Ultron."

From a mountain fortress to a ship in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. You entered its interior, a quite feasible target, when in fact what you all feared lay within. Darkness fell over your pupils, the smell of dampness professed in every corner.

"You're with me, aftermath," reported a voice from behind a suit of armour. "Stay sharp, this guy is made by me."

The long corridors soon took you deep into the heart of the ship, they were as eager to run into you as you were to run into them, so it was only a couple of minutes before you were reunited in a vast maze of iron catwalks.

"Stark is a sickness!" exclaimed that robot called Ultron.

"Ahh, Junior," Tony posed in front of him and his two enhanced companions, "You're gonna break your old man's heart."

From that moment on things happened too fast for a clear description to be made. The corridors seemed to lengthen as you tried to keep that enhanced girl, Wanda, away from the others. She was powerful, trying to play with your mind and you with hers. It was a battle of mental endurance, if you could keep your mind blank and safe from all the negative things she was trying to make you see, you could keep going. It seemed doable, you seemed to have it under control, you had freed yourself from the transmitter that kept you in contact with the others to avoid any external distractions, but none of that was enough when a new enhancement came into play making you lose your balance completely, you felt the emptiness flooding you, as if your body was falling unchecked into the darkness.

A halo of light circled over your eyes making you recognise what was around you, you had escaped, you had fled from that ship thousands of miles in space and time. A figure that you recognised instantly was in front of you, smiling at you, raising her hand to caress your face, it was the figure of your mother, she was laughing, but with each laugh the atmosphere became darker. The main living room of your house appeared before your eyes, but it seemed totally neglected, the furniture was worn out, there was dust and mould in every corner, your mother was prostrate on the floor and a figure without a face was on top of her beating her, you heard the screams of a little girl, they were quite familiar, they were yours. That scene began to repeat itself over and over again, reliving your childhood, you fought to try to change it, but you had no control over it or over your mind at that moment, time after time the pain invaded you and although you tried to stop it, it became impossible again. You had entered a loop, you had lost track of time and space, you couldn't run away from it. Your own mind had become part of it.

Your ears only picked up your screams and those of your mother, you kept your eyes open but your vision was not able to see, you fell to your knees wherever you were in reality and you stayed there, until someone managed to locate you.

"I got her," as a faint whisper drifted into the scene you were living. "Okay. You're safe, I've got you."

As if you were again falling into the void your body rose into the air, and the darkness once again hovered over you, causing all your limbs and your brain to go into a deep, eternal sleep.

Without really knowing where you were, you could hear a faint hissing sound that came more and more strongly to your senses. Light broke through your eyelids, which were struggling against their will to open. Familiarity with the space made you realise where you were. The whistling sound was coming from the air hitting the Quinjet, for all was silent inside. You sat up slowly, the mental pain was suffocating, not only because of what you had seen and what you had been through, but because you could feel the same sensations all around you.

You sat up, covering your face with your hands and hiding it between your legs trying to pull yourself together, but at that moment you felt someone kneel down right in front of you and put a hand on the back of your neck.

"What can I do?" Tony's voice sounded cautious, but there was really little he could do in those few square metres of anguish, so you just shook your head. "Okay, look at me," you shook your head again not wanting to have direct access to any more emotions at the moment, "Look at me. Please."

Your breathing was rapid and your heart kept shrinking, causing a lump in your throat that almost prevented you from breathing. You couldn't extract everything you had inside you, nor could you find the calm you needed to let him go, you were afraid to look at him to interfere with his feelings and manipulate them by offering him yours, you were also afraid of acquiring his negative emotions and adding them to your own. But still you felt his hand go to your chin and he gently lifted it up to catch your face in his gaze.

"In a couple of hours we'll be in a shelter," his face was close, his fingers held firmly on your chin. "Do you think you'll be okay?"

A subtle nod is what you offered in reply, Tony nodded as well and took a seat right next to you after having moved closer to Barton.

"In a couple of hours we'll be in a shelter," his face was close, his fingers held firmly on your chin. "Do you think you'll be okay?"

A subtle nod is what you offered in reply, Tony nodded as well and took a seat right next to you after having moved closer to Barton. Those two hours seemed endless, you kept your hands pressed to your temple trying to forget what you had seen, but more so what you had felt. Tony, along with Barton were the only ones who had not suffered the effects of Wanda Maximoff's mind control on you on that occasion, it was evident from the physical and mental state of the other teammates.

Tony stayed by your side for the entire 120 minutes, worried and afraid that everything that had happened was his fault, and it was all coming back to you.

"Stop," you whispered trying to get Tony's attention.

"How?" he whispered and bent his face closer to yours, which was resting on your hands.

"Stop flogging yourself, I've had enough of the others," you pleaded a little rudely, unable to control yourself.

"I'm sorry," he placed his palm on your back, but an uncomfortable gesture from your shoulder caused him to remove it a second later. "I'm sorry."

A couple of hours later, the Quinjet took up position on a large greenish esplanade, the greenest thing your eyes had ever seen in your life. In the centre was a small cottage, cosy enough for anyone to see. Tony held you firmly, as it seemed that your body would fall if he let go. You went inside together, a hospitable warmth surrounded each of your limbs causing you to get some peace in you after hours.

Time seemed to have taken its toll on your senses, as you barely understood half of what was being said around you. But everything changed when two children entered, bringing joy and life to the room, it was the most comforting thing you had felt in weeks, the innocence that each of them possessed was like a breath of fresh air to you. You gently removed your arm from Tony's shoulders, murmuring "I'm feeling better," and he returned an "Okay" with a still worried look on his face. Actually Barton's idea of taking you there had been really successful for all of you, except for Thor who left, but for the rest of you it was something you'd never been able to contemplate in your lives, kind of like what it would be like to have a family.

Sunset was near and the view from that wooden porch surrounding the house was charmingly soothing.

"You look good," Tony appeared behind you with his hands in his pockets and perched next to you, leaning on the railing.

"Thank you," you said, looking back up at the grove of trees that loomed before your eyes. "And thanks for earlier."

" For what?" he asked with confusion in his voice.

"When you tried to reassure me on the Quinjet," you said without looking at him. "And... I think it was also you who took me back."

"Yep," Tony put his hand to the back of his neck and turned to you. "The truth is, that process would have been a lot more feasible if you hadn't gotten rid of the transmitter, it would have saved me a lot of time."

"I know," you ducked your face, but a small smile appeared on it.

"Do you want to talk?" Tony's voice seemed somewhat hesitant after stating the question.

"No," you shook your face, letting the last rays of sunlight fall on him. "Do you want to talk?"

"What do you feel?" he answered your question with another question, ignoring it completely. "What do you feel inside when you feel us?"

"I feel what other people are feeling," you explained, looking at him for the first time. "If I concentrate I can feel what you're feeling right now, or what Steve is feeling, or how the Hulk feels when he turns."

"How?"

That conversation you'd had on several occasions in your life, but at no point had you had it with Tony, you hadn't been close at any point, closeness you could find in Natasha or even Steve, but not in Tony, that's why that moment was peculiar, as well as comforting.

"It's easy when my emotions are in control," you turned your body towards him and leaned against the wooden railing. "I just have to look at my target and focus on how he feels, knowing that whatever is inside him I'm going to feel it too," you focused your gaze on Tony's eyes, "for instance, right now you're remorseful about what happened with Ultron, but you also feel misunderstood because no one understands your point of view, you're also melancholy about being in this place, a little envious about discovering the life that Barton has, and..." you paused slightly as you discovered one of his feelings, but you chose to ignore it, as he seemed to be really nervous about the process of analysis he was undergoing, "embarrassed because right now I'm feeling the same way you are.”

You offered him a slight smile, which he himself returned a little nervously at the exposition you had offered him, Tony was a very rigorous person when expressing himself and this had completely thrown him off.

"That..." he put one hand nervously to the back of his neck while the other was hidden in his trouser pocket. "Great, I guess it's nice to know I'm not empty. But well, we'd better keep this between us."

"Of course," for the first time you felt a little satisfied with your task just done, it was nice to see that this person could shed his pride on several occasions.

"Well, I'd better go and help Rogers chop wood," he said, standing up beside you and scratching the bridge of his nose.

" Yes, he certainly looks like he could use your help," you commented wryly as Steve had little difficulty chopping wood in one fell swoop.

"Yeah," he shoved his hands in his pockets and slipped out of the place as quickly as possible.

Within a minute you could feel him perch next to you again, leaning his body on the railing and looking at you.

"That's all you found?" he asked with a frown and gesturing nimbly with his hand, a gesture that denoted nervousness. "I mean, there was nothing else."

"What do you mean?" you frowned as he did, looking completely puzzled, since you already knew what he meant.

"Well..." he scratched the back of his neck again, "Do you usually do this to me? I mean, have you ever gone inside my head before to see how I'm feeling or have you only done it this once? Is it usual?"

"Do you really think I want to know what you keep in your head Tony?" you asked holding back a laugh at his reaction.

"Okay," he gave a long nod biting the inside of his lip. "And there was nothing else you said?"

"Do you want me to try again? Maybe I can find something else," you offered humbly, knowing what he wanted.

"No, it's... all right," his words were accompanied with a step back, putting distance between you and him. "It's all right. I'm... going to go help Cap."

"Okay," you bit your lower lip as you watched him disappear behind you again. behind you again.

You watched as Tony walked over to Steve's pile of firewood and picked up an axe to imitate his movements. You remained in your position, keeping your gaze lost in that grove of trees that made you feel so calm, but it was very easy to catch Tony's gaze watching you from his position. He knew that you had felt it, because perhaps it was one of the emotions that was strongest inside him at that moment, but evidently you didn't want to expose it out loud, and let him know that you had discovered it. Yet there it was, and it was going to take you too long to forget that feeling, because it felt too good to let it go.

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seventhrounder · 4 years ago

Text

I went thru my folder with old hockey magazines I had saved from around 2011 to 2015 and came across this one and thought it could be a fun to make a post about now in hindsight.

This is Jääkiekko magazine from May 2012, they always have a section of "99 questions with ..." and in this issue they interviewed Teräväinen.

I’ve translated the questions I found interesting under the cut! It ended up being about half of the interview. (*) are my additions.

On the cover "seuraava superjokeri" means the next super joker, he played for Helsingin Jokerit so it's a word play from that. Under, on the blue print it says: "The 17-year-old forward will become a first round draft pick in the summer. The natural goal scorer can dominate in SM-Liiga as soon as next season."

In the 2nd photo the headline and lead paragraph goes:

"A post with dents* - A year ago Teuvo Teräväinen was known only within a small number of hockey insiders. Few passers-by recognize him now either but after a flashy rookie season the Jokerit sensation is on the radar of every NHL team and is a strong contender to become a first round draft pick. Next season with Jokerit the talented second line center will be one of the main talking points in the SM-Liiga."

(*references the net Teräväinen had in his backyard and into which he practiced his shooting)

3. You've been described as a magician, top scorer, wunderkind and a prodigy. What do you think of these descriptions?

TT: Heh, those are some descriptions yeah. What can I really say? Don't really wanna comment on them much.

4. How nervous are you about the Draft?

TT: I try not to be nervous as best as I can. In a way I don't have anything to be nervous about since I don't care which team picks me or at what number I go.

6. Which is stressing you more, English interviews or physical tests?

TT: Maybe both. Bench press (laughs) and English interviews can be tough.

12. How far along have you planned your career with, for example, your parents or your agent?

TT: Haven't really planned things with others but I've thought about them myself. I try to go step by step and not jump too far ahead.

14. How does it feel to be so young with all the star players in Jokerit?

TT: How to say it? I haven't felt like I was young but a part of the team instead. The team's been very good with me and they haven't been looking down at me like: "oh he's young". It's been fun to play in an experienced team.

15. Is there a generational gap between players?

TT: You can see the age difference, older players look older but we're all childish, at least with our topics.

17. What does a 17-year-old do in the sauna nights of the team?

TT: I actually haven't been in any yet. I've always been at national team's camps or something.

19. Did you get the number you wanted?

TT: I did, yeah. I could've taken #18 but Semir (Ben-Amor) has it. But i'm happy with #86, it's good.

23. What are your strengths as a player?

TT: Offensive play and with that playing with the puck, passing, IQ, power play and skill, just the usual skill - skill with hands.

24. And weaknesses?

TT: They are to do with defensive play, strength and physicality. Battles and such but I think I took a step forward last season. That's a good thing.

25. Have you ever been "pressed into a mold" or has your playing style gotten to develop naturally?

TT: As a kid the play was mostly offensive/attacking, I didn't have to think about playing defence. Up until 15 years old, I got to attack pretty freely. Playing defence became more important when I started to play in A-juniors a couple seasons ago.

26. On a scale from 1 to 10 how determined are you?

TT: Maybe 8, feels like an 8.

32. What kind of role are you planning to take with Jokerit next season?

TT: I think a pretty big one. I try to be a top player and not just take others' example but give others example myself too. So that someone in the team can take something out of the way I do things on the ice and off the ice.

35. If you could pick anyone, who would be your car driver?

TT: Nico Manelius for sure. He's been my driver this season. I've had others too, like Riku Hahl but he's not nearly at the same level. Nico’s clearly the best.

36. What are the most important qualifications to be a good driver?

TT: The car is obviously important. Hahl's car is totally awful, he takes a lot of heat for it from the guys too. I wouldn't dare driving with him. Manelius is a steady performer, never lets you down.

38. What sports did you play as a 10-year-old?

TT: Hockey and floorball, probably football (soccer) during the summers at the time too.

42. When did you decide to focus only on hockey?

TT: So when I stopped playing other sports? Three years ago, before that floorball was kind of a side thing, I played a couple of games in the regular season and playoffs.

45. Do you follow floorball or other sports? Go to games?

TT: I don't go to games but I like to watch floorball on TV, it's an interesting sport. Sometimes I watch football too but I don't follow it much. Feels like they never score there.

47. Have you ever played with a wooden stick?

TT: As a kid I did play with a wooden stick.

49. You won the hockey players' golf tournament last summer even though there were more experienced players too. Are you good with all stick games?

TT: Well, I've been pretty good in all of them. I've played golf for a long time and still play it.

50. How is your swing?

TT: Pretty bold, kind of a hockey swing. I don't really care where the ball goes - as long as it goes far.

52. What do you think of off-ice training?

TT: Let's just say it's more stupid than being on the ice but you still gotta do it to be better on the ice.

56. Which word describes your professional relationship (with his coach, Tomek Valtonen), tranquil or colorful?

TT: Colorful of course. At times we're joking around, other times it's more serious but the relationship is really good.

57. Coaching you has been described in many words: good, bad, worse. What are they?

TT: Heh, well... I won't tell them here. He (Tomek) keeps the discipline during practices but sometimes when things haven't gone to a plan I've had to jump on an exercise bike in the middle of a practice.

58. What have been the reasons?

TT: I'll quote Tomek: "when I haven't been present".

59. Have you ever tried to turn the resistance of the bike to zero?

TT: (Laughs) Of course I have and sometimes I've even succeeded.

60. Describe your diet in three words?

TT: Greasy, healthy and good!

64. Your first name is not common for people your age. How did your parents come up with it?

TT: I actually don't even know. Maybe they didn't want a usual Ville*....

(*very common name for men of all ages in Finland)

66. Which of these is the most important: skill, unexpectedness or courage?

TT: Skill!

68. Your longest video game stint?

TT: Six hours, at least. I've played a lot of War of Duty lately.

72. The dumbest thing that has made you upset in hockey?

TT: Probably if I didn't get an assist on a goal even though I should have. Or even worse is if I score and they mark it down for someone else.

79. Have you had any concussions?

TT: I haven't had any, I've managed to always dodge them.*

(*ouch, tho it's good the recent one is his only as far as i remember)

84. In 2011 Team Finland finished in the 5th place at the U-18 tournament. Why only as 5th?

TT: Because we lost to Team Russia in the quarter final, just as well we could have won that game too.

89. You didn't get to be on the ice to accept the SM-Liiga bronze medal (because of the U-18's). When and where did you get it?

TT: I actually still haven't received it, I don't know where it is.

93. What is the population of Helsinki?

TT: There's like 5 million people in Finland so maybe around 500k in Helsinki? (to be exact 596k) Did i really get it right...?

94. Who's the mayor of Helsinki?

TT: I don't know, I barely know the president.

95. Do you think the municipalities in the capital city area should merge?

TT: Luckily I don't have to decide but they probably shouldn't.

96. What do you check first in the news paper?

TT: The sports section.

97. Your favorite tv show?

TT: Putous* was pretty good, I liked a lot of the characters. The grandma was pretty good.

(*Finnish live improvisation comedy/sketch show (there are still new seasons, the latest just finished). Every actor comes up with a humor character with a catchy phrase and one of them wins. "The grandma" is Marja Tyrni and I just got such flashbacks from typing this sentence.)

98. Last book you read?

TT: I don't read many books. The last book was a study book, a Finnish book. I wrote an essay on Tiki (Esa) Tikkanen's biography. An eventful book, great career and a lot of chirps.

99. Who should we ask the 99 questions next?

TT: Riku Hahl could have good stories, he's also seen a lot of the world.

#teuvo teräväinen #teuvo teravainen #carolina hurricanes #canes #hockey #nhl #mp #i knew i had this mag but i thought it was from 2014 and post draft #i really didn't rmbr i've been following turbo for this many years???#good on 16yo me for spending 8 euros on this tho that was excellent thinking

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evakuality · 4 years ago

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Matteo - episode two

Social media - I feel like the social media doesn’t always work for me just because I often sleep at the wrong times of day for Germany and so when or why things happened sometimes feels difficult for me to judge. For example, I feel like the Sara and Leonie and messing around with David at PE feels somehow out of place. They didn’t seem to know each other much on Friday when Sara interrupted Matteo and David and yet here they are hanging out and playing together like long time friends on social media not long after. It’s a lovely set up for Matteo finding out more about David as he reluctantly follows Sara’s social media, but the connection from one moment to the other is difficult to follow. More than ever I wish we had more of a sense of David and what he was up to behind the scenes so to speak. Also, Sara’s desperation around Matteo when she’s talking to Leonie is so painful. By the end of this episode Leonie is all ‘you need to get over this asshole’ but Sara is still super invested in this thing she’s built up in her head. She wants this to be real so much that she’s ignoring all the red flags. It doesn’t help that Matteo is actively curating his social media presence to fit in - so he does a lot of stuff with Sara for her Instagram. That it’s all the same sort of stuff he does with his friends seems to go over her head - he doesn’t see her the way she wants to be seen, but then he also does things like knee-jerk into an invite to his home when he sees David hugging Leonie. What he does and why makes sense (we’ll get to that in the actual clip) but it doesn’t make it any easier for Sara. Though, really, she should listen to Leonie who is the only one in this scenario who has her back and can clearly see what is happening.

clip one - I really like seeing characters peacefully chilling in their own space and just being relaxed. Matteo’s not exactly happy, of course, but he seems content in this scene. He has his game, he has his little stalker moment on David and there are no expectations on him. But then of course Hans comes along. Hans, bless him, doesn’t mean to be forcing expectations on Matteo, but unfortunately he’s hitting some sore spots for Matteo. Matteo knows he’s into guys, is fairly obvious about his attractions, but there’s this very painful understanding that the guys he likes can’t or don’t see him the same way. David is still something exciting at this point - they made a connection and while Matteo doesn’t know if he likes guys too, he also knows they have some kinship on some issues. So his gut reaction is to hide the picture he’s been looking at despite it being on his girlfriend’s Instagram, because it feels incriminating to him. Here he is fantasising over yet another guy who is probably straight and probably has a thing with Leonie (he is extrapolating HARD from the small bits of info he has and from Sara’s reactions). It’s sweet that Hans literally comes to Matteo to get advice on his choices of guys, but it feels threatening to Matteo both in a ‘I can’t let on that I’m gay’ way and because it feels like someone expecting something of him which he isn’t capable of giving - it’s very obvious that the guys Hans is choosing from and the type of guy Matteo likes are poles apart and so he literally doesn’t know which of the guys Hans wants is best. They really aren’t his type at all.

I also have to say that Sara’s demands for instant answers is exhausting. Why do we have this expectation? She’s decided that he’s not being good to her because he’s not instantly responding, but it shouldn’t be such a norm that we reply right away. In Matteo’s case, he’s trying to chill and relax and we have both Hans and Sara intruding on that space with expectations of him. My introverted self shudders at this and I feel for Matteo.

clip two - this of course leads into clip two when Sara confronts Matteo again. She is once again, the one trying to use words and communicate properly. This is exactly what we tell people to do when trying to work with relationships but she’s not really forceful enough as yet and she chooses to do it in front of his friends which doesn’t really work. For her, she thinks this will legitimise it and has perhaps subconsciously picked up that he’s far more willing to play along if he has an audience and so this works for her. But for him, it’s even more awkward than usual because she’s showing up his lack of attention in front of his friends. So while she probably thinks she got some sort of positive sign out of this, for him this was very uncomfortable and he’s really starting to find it difficult to keep this up. The discussion of relationships and communication in relationships is also very interesting. Abdi, who seems to be really off the wall and stupid here, is the one who actually hits on the reality of the situation. We see how attempted communication works in relationships alongside Matteo and Sara, but we also hear about Carlos and his frustrations with Kiki and a lot is being set up for the future. We’re already getting set up for Matteo feeling really shit when David won’t contact him, when he feels played and on and off, hot and cold. This thing with Sara here comes back to bite him later when he’s on the receiving end and it allows him to find his moment of kinship with Sara later on. Once he knows how this feels, he realises how shitty he was being here.

The ‘when they don’t talk to you, they want to sleep with you’ stuff is fascinating because a) that’s definitely not what’s happening with Matteo - he absolutely doesn’t want to sleep with Sara, but b) also it kind of IS what happens with David later. He wants things to progress with Matteo but doing that means he has to come out and so he has to retreat. Totally different reasons, but the idea is the same. ‘You have a lot to learn’ the boys tell Matteo, and they’re right even if not in the way they mean. Most of what Matteo needs to learn and figure out in relationships is actually touched on in this clip. Of course, to really ram this point home, we get the deeply awkward Matteo and David meeting by the lockers. David appears to be invested as well - coming up to Matteo, making the first contact here in a way. It’s awkward for sure, but in a very different way to Sara and Matteo. Here, they both want to actually connect but are still feeling out how to approach each other. Of course, they are again interrupted before this can develop better, and again Matteo’s response to a romantic advice question is ‘I don’t know’ - it’s his way to slide out of having to be committed to something, but also both questions (Hans’ and Leonie’s) veer quite close to things he doesn’t want to be open about - interest in guys on the one hand and specifically David’s relationship status on the other. So he hides behind these words and in both cases the person fills in their own gaps and assumes he’s helped them.

The bit with Amira and the weed is so close to the original that there’s not a lot to say, except that I do like that she gets to make her own defence with Matteo as a back up more than the one speaking for her the whole time as Isak does. I’m also highly amused that they never attempt to make this exchange again and the weed just gets used by the girls. Neither Matteo nor Abdi seems worried about it after this point. For Matteo that makes sense - David starts to become much more important, but for Abdi it’s just funny. Maybe he got some more weed somewhere and just decides it’s not worth pursuing anymore.

clip three - this clip is just sad all around. Matteo clearly does care about Sara and he’d make a good friend for her but she has these expectations of him that don’t work for either of them but in totally different ways and they talk at cross purposes throughout the whole thing. We find out later everything that’s going on with Sara here and why she wants distracting, but she’s chosen the wrong person or at least the wrong way. And this whole idea that she can force sex on him when he’s very very clearly not ready is so uncomfortable. Even if this was a very normal relationship in which both parties genuinely had feelings for each other, him pulling back and not being ready isn’t a bad thing and should be respected. That Sara uses this as evidence later that he’s a shitty boyfriend is unfair. He is a shitty boyfriend in many many ways but this isn’t one of them. @sun-undone made a wonderful series of videos on this season and mentioned how awkward and uncomfortable the extreme close ups are in this scene (and many of the others between these two). It works to make a claustrophobic and trapped feeling for Matteo. We’re so tight on his face that he has no way to escape and what’s really interesting about it is that often when Sara is in reverse shot to these close ups the camera is further away allowing her to feel more comfortable. Which sums up visually everything about this relationship really.

I want to touch briefly on the food thing - in this scene Matteo brings food for Sara, and food is usually used to show nurturing and caring etc etc. And then he places it as far from her as he can. Contrast this with how he uses food with David, making it playful and literally bringing him into its production and they eat together. It’s very clear that while he cares about Sara and wants to connect with her, he’s not willing to properly nurture her in any of the ways she needs. He also makes it very clear that it’s from her mother and not him.

clip four - in this context, clip four is very sad. It’s just a short moment where Matteo watches David and sees him smile at Leonie and hug her. It immediately makes him sad (sadder than usual, which is fairly sad at this point) and we just saw how little interest Matteo has in sex, but that sight and all the things it brings up for him (which have been set up through the previous episode) results in him deciding to just get it over with and try to sleep with Sara. Of course, for her this means a whole different thing to him. The emojis etc that he uses are really playful and happy but the Matteo we see on screen as he does that is so far from that it’s super painful to watch. More examples of how his social media presence does not reflect his genuine lived experience. She sees this as a final acceptance of what’s happening between them and how he now wants to be with her. For him, it’s a final desperate attempt to stop being so invested in these guys who don’t want him and to focus on someone he knows actually does. But it doesn’t make him happy, and he in fact looks much sadder at the end than he does at the start.

clip five - A continuation of the previous one really. He’s decided this has to happen, has actively set up the date for the end of the week and is now trying to find a way to make it work for him. But he looks SO depressed and out of sorts when he does so, made more so when the responses he reads are things like ‘why would you want to sleep with someone if you’re not into her’ which is a question he has no good answer to. Of course we also get the moment when he finds David’s Instagram and the picture he’s posted and the way he responds to that is much more genuine and authentic than anything he’s done with Sara. I do like how often we get subtle moments of comparison between how Matteo reacts to Sara vs how he reacts to David. Once again the social media is nice in this part. Hans and Linn and their conversations and the way Matteo is then drawn in and included. I like that they chose to document such a small and insignificant moment, eating food together, in such a way. It makes the ‘big’ stuff that’s scattered through feel more authentic when it’s mixed in with such normal social media behaviour.

clip six - The cross dressing in this clip makes me feel really awkward, partly because cross dressing in general feels weird (just... dress however you like whenever you like, you know?) but obviously also because of David. How horrible this must feel for him (and as an aside, the school must have known why he changed to them so late and how traumatic it has been for him - why did they approve the topic????), but consequently how good it must be for him that Matteo doesn’t engage with the dressing up. On another note, Sara talking over Matteo is again a great representation of the whole way their relationship works (and how she thinks one should work maybe?) She speaks for him and makes assumptions about what he wants in many of their interactions and it’s no different here. I guess she’s so desperate for this to be something real that she can’t let anyone speak who may ruin that - up to and including her supposed boyfriend. He looks so checked out and irritated with this whole situation when she’s talking for him and it doesn’t get any better after she leaves and the boys go right back to sex talk. This whole episode is a good representation of how little presence Matteo has in his own life, particularly when he’s outside his own space and/or with other people. The one person who sparks any sort of difference is David. In this whole clip, Matteo doesn’t speak a word (he tries to but Sara leaps right in as if she owns his home, which.... hmmmmm) which is a huge contrast with the final clip:

clip seven - this is such a great clip and it’s fascinating that it’s so long compared to the rest given that not a lot actually happens in it. But that’s part of its charm - this is Matteo’s and our chance to meet and get to know David properly which is allowed time to breathe and relax into it. And over the course of the nine or so minutes, the two of them do get more and more relaxed and easy with each other. Also, here’s to the random ticket collector who facilitated the start of this. If he hadn’t come along and David hadn’t decided to step in to save Matteo from the consequences of his own actions, they’d probably still be staring awkwardly at each other to this day. But also, Matteo’s flirting when he genuinely wants to do it appears to be ‘hey do you want to smoke?’ and despite David clearly not being all that into it, it works presumably because David is also besotted already and happy to go along with literally anything Matteo might suggest (like some terrible sandwich toppings).

But honestly, the heart of this clip is literally this developing bond between the two boys and I was trying to work out why the montage ‘getting to know you’ sequence works better here than it does for Mia and Alex and I think in the end it comes down to baggage and also timing. David is not dragging baggage behind him; we don’t have the same sense of ‘why does s/he fall for him?’ with David that we do with Alex. In Alex’s case, Mia had been very open about how much she hated Alex and how he was treating Kiki and also just how awful she felt about being bribed into going on a date with him. Given how important that was, we needed to see more of their bonding so we too could see Alex’s personality. Instead we’re told that Mia starts to like him without being shown any real proof. Whereas with David, we don’t know him just like Matteo doesn’t know him, so having some conversation filled with compliments and small moments of bonding and developing trust interspersed with the montage actually works. We have a real sense of the sorts of things they’re talking about and the way they’re talking and we’re shown in montage that there’s more happening behind that. In this case it works to show the development where for me it fell flat with Mia because of how long we were told and shown Alex was an asshole for.

The upshot of this is that they have both shown vulnerability on screen by the end of the episode and have both shown themselves to be careful and considerate of the boundaries around those vulnerabilities (Matteo respects David’s wish to keep certain pages of his art book private and David doesn’t mock or scorn Matteo’s fears about not knowing what he wants to do after school). It means that when David tells Matteo what his favourite movie is, Matteo is able to admit that he doesn’t know it. There’s a long pause before he says it, almost like he’s weighing it up whether he wants to admit that or not. But in the end he does say it, allows himself to show more vulnerability. Unlike Isak, who tries to bluster his way through knowing what Even finds interesting, Matteo is willing to be real and genuine with David.

Basically, this clip serves as a nice contrast to the rest of the episode, where people speak over Matteo and don’t allow him the space tp be himself. Both boys here are able to be open and show themselves in a way that we repeatedly see Matteo at least unable to do so far. So it’s not surprise that when reminded that Sara is coming he tries to remove himself from that situation. The long look he gives David while Sara’s message is on screen really shows just how different these two people feel to him and honestly, she needed to take Leonie’s advice after this. Matteo has made it very clear that Sara’s needs are not at the front of his mind and she really really should take that hint.

#druck #og druck #matteo - episode 2 #this is really long I'm sorry #I seem to have had a lot to say about this one #that's the perils of watching in real time mode I guess #much more time to think about everything #and get super wordy

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jokertrap-ran · 4 years ago

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(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Evan’s Personal Route Chapter 1-2: Candle-Lit Game (烛光博弈) Translation

“So this is how he, who I've always been following, is truly like?”

*Light and Night Master-list | Evan’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *Evan’s tag will be #For Night, For Revolution

Not long later, Evan's car stopped in front of a quiet victorian-style townhouse amidst a noisy neighbourhood.

An impeccably dressed waiter steps up politely to help us open the doors of the car.

I followed after him as we proceeded along a gravel path surrounded by rose bushes.

I looked at the gap between the rocks of the gravel path and back to my high heels again, awkwardly slowing down as I went.

This was when Evan, who had been walking alongside me, came to a stop. He crooked his elbow in my direction, offering it for me to take.

Evan: The path here is hard to tread.

Taking one cautionary glance at the winding road before me, I hesitated for a moment before linking my arm with his.

Perhaps it was because of how stiffly I was moving, for the sides of Evan’s lips quirked upwards. He slightly inclined his head, glancing at me.

Evan: Why? Are you not used to it?

I was speechless for a while as I attempted to formulate an answer that wouldn’t immediately out me.

As if reading my mind, he spoke once more, his voice tinged with faint amusement.

Evan: I'm talking about the dinner party.

MC: Oh, the dinner party… Honestly, it's a little out of my league.

MC: Can I ask who's going to be attending?

Evan: One is a senior I'm familiar with, and another, is something I think you'll know.

MC: Someone I know?

I tried to think of who it might be; alas, coming up with nothing.

Evan: I remember you once saying that you fancied the perfume brand that was under Zeal.

Evan: If so, then do you know about the founder, Zee?

MC: Oh! I saw his post this afternoon. I think he’s in Guangqi City now.

MC: Wait a minute! Don't tell me—

I gave Evan an incredulous look, only to see him nod with a faint smile playing on his lips.

Evan: Yes. The senior that I happen to be close to is also coincidentally a close friend of Mr. Zee’s.

Evan: Today’s dinner party’s to welcome him.

Evan spoke lightly of it, but I couldn’t help but feel nervous.

Today’s dinner party is way more important than I thought! It might even affect the cooperation between both companies!

My heart unwittingly raced at the thought, and I’d subconsciously tightened my grip on his arm.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

The waiter pulled the doors open for us when we reached the entrance, and a middle-aged man immediately came up to greet us both.

??: It's been a long time, young Lu.

Evan: Sorry to keep you waiting, Uncle Pan.

Mr. Pan: No need to be so polite. I've only just arrived as well.

Mr. Pan: Let's put all of that aside for now. Shouldn't you first introduce your lady friend here?

I suddenly realized that I’ve been clinging onto his arm ever since entering the room, quickly letting go of it.

Evan merely went along with me and relaxed the arm that he’d held up for me. He nodded at Uncle Pan and faced him with a light smile.

Evan: This is (Y/n), a very talented Fashion Designer of my Company's.

Evan: (Y/n), this is Uncle Pan, a renowned businessman in Guangqi's business world, and also a senior of mine that I greatly respect.

I hurriedly extended a hand to Uncle Pan, who'd come to greet us.

MC: Hello, Uncle Pan…

Mr. Pan: Haha, no need to be so polite, Miss (Y/n). The food served in this restaurant is something that you cannot miss out on! Do be sure to eat lots!

MC: Will do! Thank you!

Mr. Pan: Take (Y/n) inside first, young Lu.

Evan: Alright.

We both bowed our heads slightly at him, expressing our gratitude. The waiter immediately came up, leading us to the room on the second floor.

All that could be heard was our footsteps, echoing in the elegant hallway.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Not long after we’d seated ourselves, Uncle Pan entered the room followed by another middle-aged man.

I could recognize him at a glance. That man was none other than Zee.

Time did not dull his edge. In fact, it merely gave him a couple of notches of calmness. His sharp eyes openly swept across everyone present without the slightest bit of hesitation. I don’t know if it was just me, but I felt as if something had flashed in his eyes when his line of sight fell on me.

After Uncle Pan had finished with his brief introductions, Evan leaned forwards, extending a hand out to Zee.

Evan: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Zee.

Zee raised his eyebrows and contemplated him for a good long while before slowly reaching out to shake his hand.

Zee: Warson's CEO? Pleasure's mine.

After exchanging greetings, Uncle Pan smiled as he patted both of their shoulders, gesturing for everyone to take a seat at the table.

Evan and I were seated at one side, while Zee and Uncle Pan were on the other.

The waiter began to serve us the dishes in an orderly manner.

For a while, the only thing that could be heard was the soft thuds of a leather shoe against the low pile carpet, accompanied by the occasional clink of tableware.

Evan: I've long since heard that you're an avid collector of antiques, Mr. Zee. So, I've prepared a gift to commemorate our first meeting.

The words had only left his lips when two men dressed impeccably in suit and gloves stepped up with a scroll, unravelling it for everyone to view.

It was an ancient painting. The paper had already yellowed, but the picture depicted on it was complete and clear, boasting vibrant colours, its inscription and seal as clear as the day and distinguishable.

Although I’d often visited the museum as a kid, it was the ancient outfits and accessories that had piqued my interest. Hence, my limited understanding when it came to calligraphy and paintings. I could only tell that this was a work that originated from the Qing Dynasty, which had used the lighting styles, shading styles, and the perspective of many western artworks as reference.

The sides of Zee’s mouth curved slightly upwards, his eyes lighting up with joy at the sight.

Zee: It truly is a treasure of invaluable rarity.

Zee: Looks like you really do know your stuff, Mr. Lu.

Evan: Can’t say I do, myself; but, I’ve often heard Uncle Pan talk about your passion when it comes to these things.

Mr. Pan: Young Lu here’s very considerate. He remembers everything I tell him!

Mr. Pan: You too. Stop evading and take it already!

Zee: If my old pal insists; then I shall.

Zee: Still, it wouldn’t look all that good for me to take something without giving something else in return.

Zee: I’ve recently found an interesting little gadget. You can have it as a return gift if it interests you.

Saying so, Zee snapped his fingers with a smirk.

In a snap of a finger, a man behind him brought forth an intricately carved jewellery box made out of lacquered wood, placing it before us.

The inside of the red box was padded with fine silk, and lying above it was an exquisite gold hairpin.

MC: This! Isn't this Wanli’s Gold Hairpin!?

Then, all gazes turned to me. I flushed with embarrassment.

MC: Sorry, that was inappropriate of me….

Zee turned to look at me in rapt interest, with something inexplicable simmering behind his smile.

Zee: As expected of you, Mr. Lu. Even your female companion’s so learned and talented. You have a keen eye, Miss (Y/n).

Zee: I wonder just how much you know about this gold hairpin? How about you tell us more about it?

He'd already motioned towards the man in a suit, not waiting for me to reply. The box was then placed before me.

The gold and reds perfectly complemented each other, traversing through hundreds of years to now stand before my eyes. I could acutely feel the complexity and magnificence of this gold hairpin.

However, tonight was not a night of antique appreciation. Every act, every action of mine might contribute to whether or not the cooperation between the two companies will come to pass in the future…

I subconsciously turned to Evan. He smiled faintly, nodding his head in what seemed like encouragement.

The nervousness I felt instantaneously dispersed somewhat. I requested a set of gloves from the suited man, putting them on before carefully cracking the gold hairpin in my palm.

MC: Well… if you’ll pardon my inadequacy.

MC: Judging from the appearance and the workmanship, this filigree dragon pattern inlaid with the jewellery should have been made in the Ming Dynasty, during Wanli's reign.

MC: The gold and silver accessories during that time were richly patterned and intricately pieced together. They're often made through carving methods like this, alongside hollowing methods.

MC: I've once seen a similar gold kissing prochilodus hairpin with a self-defence mechanism.

MC: It had a silver needle hidden in a hollow compartment at the end, which can be released when required.

MC: I think this one’s the same as well.

Saying so, I tried to recall how the mechanism worked and where it was located from a book I’d seen in the past. Sure enough, I managed to find a catch at the very tip of the dragon’s tail.

MC: Maybe down here?

MC: The material used on this particular part is different from what the rest of the hairpin is made of, which means that this is most likely the place where the trigger’s hidden.

Zee: Oh? Then how about you show us, Miss (Y/n)?

MC: But this is just a hypothesis of mine, and this gold hairpin is way too valuable to be poking around with…

Zee: No matter. All hypotheses require to be tested. Besides, you’ve intrigued me.

MC: I’ll… I’ll try then.

Under everyone’s watchful gazes, I focused all my concentration on the gold hairpin in my hand as I gave it a thorough check through.

MC: There’s a small metal latch to the left of the ruby at the bottom. That should be the trigger!

Hearing that, Zee merely raised his eyebrows, as if awaiting my next move.

Is he… waiting for me to trigger it?

I was nervous because I didn't know whether it'd really make a silver needle slide out; so much that my back was covered in a sheen of nervous sweat. I took in a deep breath, trying my damndest to curb the tremor in my hand as I reached out towards that one particular ruby.

Just as I was about to touch the trigger, a hand placed itself atop my wrist, holding me back.

Evan: Allow me.

I could acutely feel his slightly cooler body temperature even through the gloves I wore.

Having said that, he too, requested a set of gloves before taking the gold hairpin from my grasp.

Evan: Here?

MC: Yeah…

Evan carefully angled the end of the hairpin so that it faced the inside of the jewellery box before gently pressing on the mechanism's trigger…

All we heard was a slight swoosh as a silver needle revealed itself against the silk cushions that padded the box under everyone's watchful gazes.

MC: !

I drew in a long, deep breath, shooting Evan a grateful look, which he returned with a smile.

He placed the gold hairpin back into the jewellery box before turning back to Zee.

Evan: Your return gift certainly does have exquisite workmanship, Mr. Zee. Thank you, I love it.

Hearing what Evan said, Zee, who had been leaning back into his chair with his eyes closed, suddenly perked up and leaned forwards with the sides of his mouth raised.

Zee: Why, don’t give me all the credit here. If Miss (Y/n) hadn’t found the mechanism, I wouldn’t have ever known that this little thing had a catch to it.

Zee: Looks like I should talk to her more, given the chance. I believe that we share a lot of common interests.

Zee: How about… we get Mr. Lu to specially authorize you to be my assistant during my stay here in Guangqi City?

Zee: If so, then we'll have more opportunities to talk and work together with each other.

Zee raised the goblet in his hand, gesturing at me.

For a while, I couldn't find a way to refuse him as I subconsciously raised my wineglass along with him, preparing to take a sip out of it.

Suddenly, Evan's hand cane upon mine, removing the glass from my grasp.

Evan: Thank you for your appreciation.

Evan: Although… she's a brilliant Designer of ours, so she has her responsibilities as well as her work arrangements.

Evan: If there is a need, I can always elect someone better and much more suited to be your assistant.

Evan's curvy eyes still held a smile within them, yet what came out from his mouth was an undeniable refusal towards Zee's request.

The red wine swirled within the glass as two glasses clinked together with a crisp and clear sound.

I could faintly see a tinge of dark red mixed into the bottom of his eyes. Perhaps it was an illusion caused by the candlelight, or perhaps of the reflection from the dark red wine within the glass...

Zee glanced at me, unfazed. His fingers slowly trailed along the rim of his cup. His smile returned to his face after a moment of silence.

Zee: I’ll have to trouble you then.

Evan: Not at all.

Zee: I'm not trying to make things hard for anyone here, but who knows, we might have another chance to work together in the future.

Zee: All beauty in this world requires time to ferment and brew like fine wine, and I'm not against waiting.

Evan nodded, smiling humbly at him. However, the edges of his eyes, slightly curved upwards in a smile, held a faint, yet dangerously sharp glint to them.

Evan: How about we add a little value into your time of wait instead of wasting the time that passes doing nothing?

Evan: I’ve heard that Zeal is expanding into the global market as of late. I do have a suggestion if you’re interested…

Zee narrowed his eyes into a pensive smile. There was a sly scheming glint in his long and narrow eyes as he did the math

Zee: You’ve really done your homework, Mr. Lu. Do share with the class.

He leaned forward, peaking with interest. A rush of nervousness hits me, but just as we were about to enter the main topic...

A vibrating sound suddenly sounded. Zee held up his phone, glancing at it, before turning back to us with a smile.

Zee: I’ll go pick this call up. You don’t mind, do you?

Uncle Pan responded in the affirmative, and I hurriedly followed suit, shaking my head together with Evan.

Zee pushed the door open and left. I didn’t know if it was because my nerves had been too highly strung in nervousness earlier, or if it was due to the temperatures running higher within the dining room, but I suddenly felt a bout of dizziness hit me.

Should I take this chance to go outside for some fresh air?

❖ Choice A: Do nothing

I looked out at the rustling leaves outside the window, swaying in the wind, slightly hesitant.

Evan: Want to go out and stretch your legs?

Evan’s voice suddenly sounded by my ear, making me turn and look up.

He was always like this, easily seeing through my thoughts, yet remaining a comfortable distance away as he asks for my opinion.

MC: Yeah… I feel a little cooped up in here.

Hearing this, Uncle Pan only smiled.

Mr. Pan: Take her out for a walk then, young Lu. The scenery outside is beautiful, if I must say so myself.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

After thanking Uncle Pan, Evan led me out to the veranda.

The white sheer curtain fluttered along with the wind with the soft moonlight dancing quietly on top of it. Everything was calm and serene.

The air was filled with the faint fragrance of flowers. I stretched my neck, peering down. There was a large bed of roses blooming in the gardens down below.

I braced both hands on the railing, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply.

Evan: Feel better?

MC: Much better!

Evan smiled gently, but it soon turned into one of concern.

Evan: I can send you back first if you're uncomfortable with the dinner party.

MC: ...Did I cause trouble for you?

He shakes his head, gently stroking the top of my head.

Evan: No. You've done brilliantly.

Evan: It's just… I don't wish to see you push yourself, even if it's only out of your concern for me.

MC: Right…

The pent-up frustration in my head seemingly subsided upon hearing his words.

What’s there for me to worry about when I have him by my side?

I lowered my hands from the railings and turned towards the direction of the dining room.

MC: But, I think I'll accompany you till the end of this dinner party.

Evan was stunned for a while before he smiled and offered me his arm.

This time, I took his arm without hesitation as we headed further down the corridor side-by-side.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Zee had already returned to the dining room by the time we got back.

Evan and Zee both continued their precious discussion about working together and the dinner party soon ended smoothly without a hitch.

☆ NORMAL END: Fading Exit ☆ "Next time, keep up and stay sharp!"

❖ Choice B: Stay in the private dining room

Although Zee has left, he'll probably be back shortly. The first half of the dinner party's over, so I just have to pull through for a while more.

I breathed a light sigh as I tucked the loose strands of hair back behind my ear, trying to relax.

Noticing this, Evan inclined his head.

Evan: Relax. It's fine.

MC: ...Okay.

The tense atmosphere within the dining room lightened up with Uncle Pan's warm hospitality, and Zee soon returned.

The waiter continued serving the next set of dishes. One exquisite dish after another was slowly placed before me, and they all tasted pleasantly divine.

In the end, Zee never once broached the topic of an assistant again.

The night grew on as we walked out of the victorian-style townhouse. The waiter already had our car prepared and waiting for us.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Upon reaching my apartment building, Evan got out of the car, holding the door open for me. He stood under the streetlights, looking at me.

Evan: Rest earlier today.

After making my way upstairs, I leaned out of the window and waved as I watched his car disappear around the corner of the road.

My phone vibrated not long after the car disappeared from my field of vision.

Picking it up, I saw that it was a message from Evan.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Evan (SMS): Good night, sweet dreams.

I held my phone, smiling as I inputted the same words into it.

MC (SMS): Good night, Evan...

☆ NORMAL END: Bystander ☆ "Sometimes, opportunities lie beyond the light at the end of the tunnel through the cracks of the willow's shade…"

❖ Choice C: Head out to the veranda and get some air

I took the chance and excused myself from the room, coming out to the veranda in hopes of easing my nerves.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

The night breeze up at the veranda was cooling. It blew off the heat that had been created from my restlessness and felt utterly refreshing.

After taking in a couple of deep breaths, I patted my face and prepared to go back inside. Much to my surprise, I turned around only to be met face-to-face by none other than Zee himself.

Zee: Miss (Y/n), what a coincidence to see you here.

He smiled as he strolled up to me. I subconsciously took a step backwards. Noticing this, Zee's smile widened.

Zee: I do hope you weren’t bothered by the incident earlier. Is that why you’re purposely trying to avoid me, Miss (Y/n)?

I hurriedly shook my head, slightly raising my head to meet his gaze.

MC: Surely, you must be joking, Mr. Zee. I just came out for some air and was just about to head back in.

Zee had a playful glint in his eyes. He lifted his hand to his chin, suddenly moving forwards to block me off.

Zee: Why such a hurry? Care to accompany me for a walk?

MC: But Uncle Pan and Mr. Lu are still waiting for us back inside…

Before I could finish, Zee purposely moved even closer, his eyes narrowed into a close eyed smile.

Zee: Looks like you trust Mr. Lu a great lot, Miss (Y/n). I wonder… Just how much do you know about his past?

MC: What are you implying, Mr. Zee?

Zee: There's no need for you to be afraid, Miss (Y/n). The more approachable a person, the higher the chance that they're hiding another side of them.

Zee: They do say that "Someone of talent is free to choose their own master". And it seems like you are completely unaware of Evan's past.

Zee: And with someone as talented as you, Miss (Y/n)... I cannot bear to leave you in the dark.

He presumptuously sized me up in such a smarmy manner that it was unsettlingly uncomfortable.

I tried to bypass him and head in the direction of the dining room, but he'd seen through me and moved his body to block off my escape.

A sort of unease that stemmed from being forced to do something welled up on me. I wanted to flee, yet I didn't dare to refuse him outright.

What should I do now?

Just as I was trapped between a wall and a hard place, I heard a familiar set of footsteps sound from the other end of the hallway.

Raising my head, I saw a reassuring figure headed straight for us.

Evan!

He walked straight up to us, reaching out to place his hand around my shoulders before pulling me back to his side with a little force.

I raised my head, looking up at him. Those eyes of his, usually as warm and gentle as jade, were now slightly dark. There was an unknown emotion flickering within the bottom of his eyes that I couldn't make out.

Evan: So this was where you were, Mr. Zee.

The corners of Zee's lips slowly upturned into a smile, although that didn't quite reach his eyes, which were clearly glinting in displeasure.

Zee: Mr. Lu. I only wanted to have a nice chat with her, so what is the meaning of this?

Zee: I know that she's someone close to you, but you can't go making all the decisions for her like that.

Zee: Actually, she has just agreed to become my special assistant during my stay here at Guangqi City. What!?

Zee had effortlessly told a lie, with not a trace of it to be seen on his face. He raises his eyebrow and turns to look at me.

I steeled myself, forcing a polite smile onto my face.

MC: Surely you must be joking, Mr. Zee. Antiques and managing daily schedules are not things that I specialize in, so there's no way I can ever become an assistant of yours...

Zee's countenance darkens upon hearing this. His eyes landed on me as he seemingly contemplates something.

I don't know whether it was because I was too nervous, but I could feel my shoulders trembling ever so slightly. Evan calmly drew me closer to him, the amiable smile remaining ever-present on his face.

Evan: If you require an assistant, then I shall personally arrange one for you.

Evan: It is merely a matter of picking out the right candidate for the job. However, please do give me some time to make a good selection for your needs.

Looking at the expression Evan had on his face, Zee suddenly lets out a loud laugh.

Zee: Hahaha. Alright. Beautiful women are one a plenty in this world, and it looks like you're not willing to forsake this treasured one of yours.

The smile was still on Evan's face, but this time, he'd slightly narrowed his eyes.

Evan: Now, you're mistaken, Mr. Zee. (Y/n) doesn't belong to anyone at all, so any talk of "forsaking" will never come to pass.

Evan: Uncle Pan is still waiting for us inside the dining room. We shouldn't keep him waiting.

Not another peep came from Zee as he turned and walked back to the dining room in large strides.

It was only when he'd completely disappeared from our view that Evan let go of me and faced me with a thoroughly concerned look.

Evan: You okay, (Y/n)?

I shook my head. My heart was still wildly pounding.

Evan: I apologize for making you face that sort of predicament alone.

Evan: It won't happen again. You have my word.

The panic in my heart gradually subsided. I shut my eyes tight and fought against the stuffiness of my nose as I tried not to cry.

MC: Thank you, Evan.

Evan's expression gradually grew softer. He raised his hand, gently patting my back.

Evan: Don't worry. We're the only ones here now.

Evan: Enjoy the wind a little more with me, then we can head back in together.

MC: Okay...

I knew, deep down. He wasn't here to enjoy the wind at all, but rather, he'd used it as an excuse to allow me, in all my embarrassing glory, some time to calm myself down.

The strength behind the hand on my back brought about a comforting warmth, settling my taut nerves.

The moonlight was akin to water, shrouding us within its silvery embrace.

❖☆————— ⊹ Oblique Curtains of the Night⊹ —————★❖

⊹ Previous Part: (Chapter 1-1: Unexpected Request) ⊹ Next Part: (Chapter 1-3: Strike in the Dark )

#光与夜之恋 #Light and Night #Otome #Translations #Tencent #陆沉 #Evan #For Night For Revolution #倾斜夜幕 #Oblique Curtains of the Night

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kilyra · 5 years ago

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Found the Trouble

A/N: Well no one asked for this either, but I really enjoyed “Looking for Trouble” so I made a follow up! I think there might be one more to this arc - I’m loving Johnny! I’d say this fic takes place maybe mid S1, when he’s still subletting to a yoga class but is starting to get more students.

After weeks of training with Johnny, you find you’re getting a little closer to him than maybe you should...

Warnings: Racy bits and Bad language but no spoilers. Also a warning is I don’t write past racy bits (which I’m not even sure are that good, I’m so rusty!) so you might want to have a proper smushalicious fic lined up to read after this LOL

If you want to be on my tag lists, (all or just a character) just let me know!

“So, you deal with that bitch in Accounting yet?”

As Johnny stood on the mat across from you, wearing his black gi with his knees softly bent, he was clearly ready to make a move. Which made his random question even more confusing.

“W-what?”

Your skin prickled with anticipation as his eyes flickered over you, but his serious expression didn't betray his plan. "You know...what's-her-name. The one that threw you under the bus last week."

It was a conversation you had as he drove you home from a late practice. One of the many times he drove you home, actually, since most of the practices ran late. Or if practice wrapped up, you were often so caught up in conversation that you stayed late anyhow. And, although you had politely protested at first, it became routine for Johnny to drive you...and often spend a few more minutes in the parking lot of your apartment building as you finished your chat. Time seemed to speed by too fast when you were together.

The fact you were fully crushing on him like you were a teen again didn’t help.

Wondering what this new tactic was, you hesitantly answered. “Uh...yeah, no, I know who you're talking about. I just...there's nothing to deal w-”

Rushing forward, he roughly grabbed your arm to yank you off balance. Stepping to the side, you dug your fingers into his wrist, forcing his hand open enough to catch him in a wrist-lock. Following through the motion, he was forced to bend and turn away as you raised his arm behind him.

Letting go, you kicked hard against his backside, sending him stumbling forward. Dropping his arm to catch himself, he stopped short of falling to the floor. Shooting a look at you over his shoulder, a quick lift of the corner of his mouth was all the approval he'd offer.

"You were pretty pissed after all that bullshit she pulled last week. You're seriously not going to do anything about it?" He continued without missing a beat.

Slowly rising to his feet, he tucked his chin and kept a steady gaze on you. Your eyelids fluttered in quick blinks to stop yourself from getting trapped in his stare.

“Yeah, it turns out she's an asshole, but it's not like I can get her fired over it, so what's the point? It's just more drama. My manager knows the truth at least.”

Stalking you like a predator hunts its prey, his lip curled in a sneer as he shook his head. Tension raced down your arms as you braced yourself, ready to try and block a hit...or listen to an arrogant lecture.

Instead, he swiftly closed the gap and grabbed a solid handful of hair. Clapping your hands over his, you pressed his fist to your scalp and snapped forward at the waist in a quick and low bow. Driven to his knees, Johnny was on the mat with his arm low to stop his wrist from being hurt.

As both of you let go, you stood up and took a moment to fix your hair without stepping back.

Still kneeling, Johnny's eyebrows drew together in disapproval as he looked up at you and spread his hands apart. The gesture caused his gi to open, exposing his bare...and deliciously toned...chest in the process. “What the hell? Is that all you're gonna do?”

"What? My team knows the truth and they're on my side...that has to be enough."

Rolling his eyes, he rocked back to his feet and stood up while pointing to the mat where he had fallen. “No, not that...that. Hair grabbing isn't part of karate, but if you were one of my students, I'd have had you on your ass for that.”

Heat flushed your chest as he barked at you. That move was perfect and you both damn well knew it.

“For what? I nailed that!”

Not even a hint of amusement seeped into his face as he moved forward. Sidestepping, he started to circle, but you stood your ground and watched his movements in the mirrored wall across from you. Straightening your shoulders, you practically challenged him to argue.

Which, of course, he did. "And where's your follow-through? If someone grabs your hair like that, it's not just some asshole harassing you – you're in a fight. It's not enough for him to let go, you need to put him down, or he's just coming right back only now he's really pissed.”

Your eyes were glued to the mirror as he stood between you and the dojo wall, staring at the back of your head and silently daring you to argue. Gritting your teeth, you tried to stay quiet but...

“I don-”

Shouting sharply, Johnny sprang forward and threw his arm around your throat. Panic burst through you as you tried to grab his elbow, but he smoothly closed the headlock, flexing his muscles to apply extra pressure. Gasping, you struggled to pry him off you as he pulled you flush against his chest.

“Come on, Y/n. We've done this one before. You know what to do here.” There was a steadiness to his tone, unaffected by your desperation.

Focusing on his words, you thought back to the few other times he showed you how to break the hold. Each motion was hesitant as you fought the blur of your scrambling brain, but shifting your weight, you leaned enough to drive your elbow into his stomach. As he let go, you grabbed his wrist and stepped back to put his arm in a hold behind him.

Breathing heavily, you held his wrist as adrenaline still washed over you. Even your hands were shaking as you tried to control yourself. Did that bastard really put you in a headlock with no warning?

"Nice work. Now from here, you ca-"

Sidestepping, you let go, but raised your arm, bracing along his collarbone as you threw your weight forward. Letting you push him, he moved with it as you pinned him against the wall. You intended to push him away, to yell at him for being a jerk.

But instead, you found yourself staring into his bright blue eyes as he smirked.

The rush shifted as you breathed in the scent of stale sweat and spicy cologne while you felt the quickening rise and fall of his chest under your arm. Keeping his hands relaxed at his sides, he didn't resist, seemingly uninterested in pushing you off. His eyes only just darted to your lips, but it was enough to start a new flame in your core.

“Not bad. But the point of self-defence is to create space between you and...your attacker.” The strain in his voice was almost too slight to catch.

“Maybe I don't want to create space...” Your reply came out in a low, breathy exhale.

His eyes skimmed over your face as the smirk slowly dropped. Suddenly, you became acutely aware of the fact you were pressed against him, and while he didn't try to move you, he wasn't exactly reciprocating.

Immediately, your ears grew hot as you realized you might have misread everything. The easy chats, the lingering looks, the fact he was bothered by the idea of you taking the bus after dark...it didn't mean he was up at night, fantasizing about you when he should be sleeping, like you were. It could just mean you were friends...

Doubt struck hard. Shaking your head sharply, you eased off the pressure and pulled your arm away. "Sorry...”

Before you could step back, his hand jerked up, roughly grabbing your waist and keeping you in place. Your breath hitched in your throat as your lips parted. But no words came out.

Johnny paused long enough to search your face for a sign to stop. But as your gaze dropped to his mouth, he swiftly moved in. His lips came crashing onto yours as he pulled you closer, his hand dropping to your hip. There was no gentleness or even a fight for dominance as he deepened the kiss. His tongue pushed past your lips and invaded your mouth. But you welcomed it. You were greedy for it. Grabbing the fabric of his gi to steady yourself, the skin of his bare chest was warm and inviting under your fingertips.

You wanted more.

Your free hand snaked up to the back of his neck, gently grabbing his hair. Soon, his hand also ran up your side until it settled to the back of your head, keeping you in place. As his tongue explored you, a very real need grew. If you didn't pull away to clear your head, you weren't going to stop until you were both in his office, naked and exhausted.

Rolling your hips against him, you knew you didn't care. No. You did care...you wanted it. You wanted him.

Lowering his hand from your hip to your leg, he guided it around his waist. Protecting your head, he spun you around, pinning you against the wall and lifting your feet off the floor in one smooth motion. Bracing yourself on his shoulder, you wrapped your legs around him, hooking your feet together and pulling him close as he ran his hand up your thigh to hold you with a bruising grip.

Pressing his hips forward, giving you all the friction you ached for, he captured your moan in his unending kiss. It wasn't until you started to grind against him, hugging your legs tight and feeling how hard he'd grown, that he finally let you catch your breath as he kissed his way down your neck. Letting your head relax to the side, your soft whimpers filled the room, egging him on. As his hand roamed up the back of your shirt, you knew you needed to get somewhere more private. Immediately.

Your fingernails scratched at his scalp as you tried to form words between your panting breaths.

But before you could manage it, the bell above the dojo entrance jingled as the door opened. You both froze.

To your horror, a young man's voice called out. “Sensei?”

Kicking your feet free, you hid your face in Johnny's chest and the lust-filled haze was replaced with embarrassment. Loosening his hold, Johnny let you slide until your feet hit the floor, but otherwise stood still. His flaring nose and clenching jaw was his only response to the teen wandering into the room.

“Sensei Lawr- Oh! Oh...um...I'm sor-” The teen sputtered as soon as he came far enough in to spot you.

"What is it, Miguel?" Johnny's voice was commanding, but he refused to turn around.

“Uh...never mind, it's...” Miguel's awkward fumbling grew worse as he started to back out.

Your heart hammered in your chest as you finally pushed Johnny back a step. Had you truly believed you could just casually fuck your instructor and it would be no big deal?

With your cheeks on fire, you slunk out from behind Johnny and hurried over to your bag. Grabbing your stuff, you waved Miguel back into the room. "No, no, it's okay. I have to get going anyhow."

"Wait? What? No, come on, don't be like that. I can still give you a ride home."

Not affording a look back, you didn't even glance at Miguel as you brushed past him. You needed air.

"No, it's fine. I'll be fine." Not only did you cross a line, but you found the trouble you had been looking for.

“Would you just-”

The cool, sobering evening air greeted you as you rushed out, letting the door cut off Johnny's words. Glancing up the street, you stopped the bus turning the corner.

You couldn't outrun your embarrassment, but at least you could make a quick getaway.

Taglist: @foreverfaeries @flower-two-writings @getlostinyourparadise @selfishkiddo @angelicshinigami @parkersbabey @whyhaveyouwritten-mehere @livingmybestfictionallife @sorryyoureoutofmyleague

#johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence #cobra kai #karate kid

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shinjaeha · 4 years ago

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ipytm ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)

this is going to be a tough post for me to do bc honestly...this ep just left me feeling so run down. i know that the cast and crew have always strived for realism and authenticity with this series, but this one was just a lot to take in :/ my thoughts are gonna be even more all over the place than usual but idec at this point. having to rewatch this ep again is really fucking hard (even harder than itsay ep 4 bc even though that makes my heart ache, i still feel some sense of satisfaction from the development we get...this just leaves me feeling defeated in every way).

you know the drill: not an analysis, just me ranting as usual bc free therapy (and boy do i need it after this one)!! i had so many feelings watching this ep (esp towards teh but what’s new), so here goes.

we begin with the drama students rehearsing for jai’s new play, and the introduction of the plum wine which will be the recurring motif in this whole ep. the use of the plum wine in this also kind of reminds me of how teh initially disliked coconuts until he started falling in love with oh-aew and started to like them instead...i’m guessing that’s the parallel they’re trying to draw with the plum wine comparison in this.

teh’s having a hard time getting into character (which we already know from last ep was always going to be one of the toughest challenges for him as an actor). his character in the play is supposed to have a sex scene, but he’s struggling with this bc he can’t put himself in his character (akin’s) shoes, so jai ends rehearsals early.

jai gives them all logbooks which he basically wants them to treat as diaries where they’ll write everything they feel/learn and hand it back to him (he’ll be the only one reading them). ngl this already had me feeling kind of yikes (esp now as i rewatch this knowing how everything went down) since jai already has inside knowledge about teh’s feelings on his relationship with oh-aew which he can take advantage of :/ more on that later though...

it’s sad to me that so much time has passed since teh’s argument with khim and he's STILL avoiding her. khim was someone that he respected immensely (and was such a great mentor for him) so it just sucks to see that their relationship has deteriorated so much since the first two eps. teh might have had his reconciliation moment with oh-aew last ep, but there’s still a lot that he’s not ready or willing to address yet.

i understand that teh’s just encouraging jai about his work when he tells him to stop having others comment on it, but at the same time, i disagree with him bc i think it IS important to get other peoples’ opinion about your work. how else will you ever be able to see things from other perspectives if you don’t?

anyway, teh tells jai he’s seeing a play, and jai asks teh if he’s bringing oh-aew...the look on teh’s face is telling enough that things aren’t going great between them (at least on his end). this brings us to the logbook scene, where teh’s homework for the day is to write about the similarities and differences between himself and his character in the play. this gets teh to reflect on how he feels his relationship with oh-aew is changing, or specifically, how oh-aew seems to be changing so much that teh feels like he’s becoming someone else entirely...and does that mean that he still loves him the same?

i feel like this is a fairly common issue with people that have been in a relationship for a while (and this is their third year together now), so i understand how teh might start having doubts. it’s nothing that oh-aew’s done, it’s just that sometimes all these small changes can keep mounting up to the point that they feel much bigger than they actually are. oh-aew’s really just doing what everyone else does, which is grow and change as they get older, but teh’s still stuck in the past trying to hold onto what they used to have instead of evolving with oh-aew. the way teh picks at all these little changes of oh-aew does make me think that he’s self-sabotaging himself. he’s just so afraid and insecure that oh-aew will change so much he leaves him, that he has to nitpick at reasons why oh-aew’s the one that’s growing away from him (though when we watch the whole ep we know that that’s not the case at all). it’s like a ‘if i push him away first, then he won’t push me away’ sort of self-defence mechanism. either way, teh’s a constant overthinker...and he’s always been his own biggest enemy since the start, so it makes perfect sense to me that he would do this to himself here too.

i know that they’ve been together for years at this point, so things are not quite as exciting as they used to be, but it hurts to see oh-aew be so happy about getting an A for his class, and teh be so unenthused about it. oh-aew has to basically beg teh to give him attention and praise. remember when teh used to get so worried when oh-aew did badly in chinese class...and now it’s like whatever to him just bc he’s not tutoring him/they’re not in the same major anymore :((( i know it’s prob both bc teh’s still hurting that oh-aew transferred majors, and from seeing oh-aew succeed while he feels like he’s failing, but still...

also, not inviting him to see the play with him bc he thought oh-aew wouldn’t be interested/oh-aew kept falling asleep whenever they saw plays together ;;; i get the reasoning from both povs, but it still is nice to be asked :(

so one thing i have to say about the progression of their relationship here is that i just feel this huge disconnect from last ep and this ep?? i know it’s bc of the time skip (since it’s a year later basically), but to go from the end of ep 2, where they’re promising to love each other forever, and then to teh feeling disillusioned/as though he’s falling out of love with oh-aew basically right after that?? it’s so jarring. i feel like we lose so much with these time skips bc the transition from ep 2 to ep 3 is never really shown, so there’s this lack of flow there. like we’ve skipped a step entirely and something’s missing. this is the disadvantage of only focussing on one year per ep since there’s not enough time to explore as much character and relationship development when we’re only seeing an hour long snippet of an entire year. it just makes things feel superficial since so much of what we should be seeing is missing...and we basically have to fill in all the gaps ourselves.

okay, back to oh-aew ranting to his friends about how he feels like his relationship with teh is fading away bc they don’t have the same interests anymore, but also wondering if that’s just normal for long-term relationships. bless that boy that came to ask oh-aew for his ig :’) at least he knows that he’s wanted and has options, even if he obv turns him down bc of teh (for now).

plug and mangpong are dating!!!!!!! and mangpong does a horrible job of trying to hide it 😂 sidenote, but i love the way pp delivers lines sometimes (like the “just shocked”), he’s so cute. plug and mangpong’s legs touching...and the wave of nostalgia that came over me (and oh-aew) during that ;;; oh-aew seeing their blossoming relationship would make him reminisce back to his own experience of falling in love with teh...when everything was still so fluttery and new. so when teh texts him about using his car to help jai move, he looks happy. like he wants to rekindle those feelings again too.

that being said, it’s kind of sad to me how even jai shows more interest in oh-aew’s major than teh (when he asks him for his opinion on how to get people interested in his play). oh-aew’s got some good ideas and is more than willing to help (esp since he wants to connect and find a common interest with teh again). also, just bc oh-aew doesn’t want to be an actor anymore doesn’t mean that he’s completely uninterested in it. god, watching this part again hurts bc oh-aew looks so happy and optimistic. he worked so hard to help teh (and jai) only for them to betray him like that. it made me mad originally, but now it just breaks my heart :(

jai’s running acting classes again for his play, and this time it’s a workshop to help them tap into their feelings. it’s like an intimacy exercise where they give one another consent to touch certain body parts. teh is still struggling a lot with this. i think teh craves intimacy, but as he doesn’t feel that connection in his personal life to oh-aew anymore, so it’s difficult for him to draw on his experiences. he can’t even remember the first time he had sex with oh-aew properly anymore. as usual, teh’s too in his own head to just go with the flow and ~feel things (which isn’t new since teh’s had problems with this since itsay), but it’s def something that he’ll need to learn how to do if he wants to become an actor. he’s trying, but the fact that he can’t get to that place makes him feel even more insecure than ever that he might never be able to get there. imo one of the reasons teh works so hard, and is as driven and ambitious as he is, is that he’s afraid that he’ll never be good enough. he puts so much pressure on himself, and the issue with that is that he’ll never be able to live up to his expectations that way.

teh is also very much alone now. oh-aew has his group of friends to talk to about his relationship with teh, but teh just has jai at this point. he’s pushed khim away...and he and oh-aew aren’t communicating effectively (which is also why they’re on SUCH different wavelengths in terms of where their relationship is at), so there’s literally only jai for him to talk to about all his relationship issues. and to me at least, jai seems to have ulterior motives (particularly when you consider that the subject matter of his play is pretty much the same thing that teh’s going through rn). it’s times like this when i do feel kind of bad for teh, but then again, he brought this upon himself the way that he almost always does...and it leaves me frustrated instead.

jai kissing his professor though...also their conversation?? i have QUESTIONS...

that whole interaction with teh when jai catches him spying on him and the professor was SO awkward. idk what it is about teh but i have never encountered a character that has given me as much secondhand embarrassment as he does. when he starts touching the bars and avoiding eye contact i just- why, teh why?????

moving on, i’m thinking there’s prob more to that scene that we don’t know about bc jai’s shifty like that...but it’s purpose is also to shift teh’s perception of jai. before this, he pretty much just saw jai as his friend and mentor, but seeing him kiss someone else pushes him to think of jai in another less platonic light. like the first spark of attraction.

the both of them go to see the mime show (babymime), and i know that the point of this is so teh can learn to just feel and let go the way that the mimes in this play do, but idk it’s just kind of funny to me the contrast between the last scene and this one.

the leg touching scene again but this time with teh and jai...thanks, i hate it :///

teh’s already feeling like he and oh-aew’s interests are making them drift apart, so by connecting with jai, it’s that initial feeling of attraction that he used to feel with oh-aew all those years ago. jai is that cool senior that he respects...he’s goal-oriented and has so much in common with him (in a way that he feels that oh-aew doesn’t anymore), so it doesn’t altogether surprise me that teh latches onto jai in this way. esp when all their conversations revolve around what teh’s most passionate about, and what dreams they’re striving towards in the future.

it doesn’t surprise me bc teh’s affections shifted in a similar way from tarn to oh-aew when he was first starting to realise his feelings for oh-aew too (though at least he and tarn were never officially dating during that time...)

there’s a genuineness to the way teh praises and encourages jai that isn’t there when he’s doing the same to oh-aew :( and that coupled with teh lying to oh-aew about him having dinner with jai while oh-aew is at home, completely oblivious, painstakingly photoshopping his boyfriend’s face on the poster of the play TO HELP TEH instead of doing his own uni work, makes me so fucking upset for oh-aew.

it’s interesting to see how different their personalities are even when it comes to something as simple as the way they read their texts. oh-aew is so ready to accept whatever teh tells him at face value, but teh overthinks everything to the point where he jumps to a certain conclusion in his head about it instead.

but yeah, it’s just really tough to see oh-aew try so hard for teh, only to see teh do nothing back for oh-aew in return. there’s only so much one side can give. it’s the absolute lack of effort on teh’s part to even try to make things work with oh-aew that is the most frustrating thing of all. oh-aew is carrying their entire relationship rn and it makes me feel all “and for what?? why should he even bother??” about it.

sneaking to sit at the river with jai is like this forbidden, new experience, so it just enhances that feeling of attraction that teh is already feeling towards jai. and esp when he starts telling him about his previous relationship with james, the significance of the plum wine, and how jai ended up breaking up with him. since it’s reflective of teh’s own experiences atm (even in how he kind of self-sabotages himself to push people/oh-aew away first), he clearly takes it to heart. and it makes him want to do an even better job since the play is an autobiographical one for jai. not to mention, teh supposedly being the only one that jai told his story to makes him feel ‘special’......and we all know how teh likes feeling as though he’s special to someone. you can see it in how dejected he is when he thinks jai only told him his story bc he wanted him to get into character better, but perks up the moment jai says he actually told him bc teh’s been doing such a good job (and to encourage him). like i mentioned before, teh’s already feeling vulnerable and isolated from everybody else, so hearing any sort of praise (and esp when it’s from someone that he looks up to as much as jai), is going to pull him in.

when they were hiding from the security guard i was like ughhh i know where this is heading and i. don’t. like. it........

the problem is that i know where teh stands on this. like i know that there’s some attraction on his end. but i don’t know where jai stands. is he intentionally manipulating teh’s feelings for his play? is there any sincerity there? i think it’s obvious that he can tell teh is attracted to him from the glance that they share in this scene, but i can’t get a handle on what he actually wants (which i guess is the point of making his character as mysterious as it is but still). and if he can tell, and he doesn’t actually like teh back in that way, it makes the end scene even more yikes imo.

hmmm teh lying in the pool trying to recreate that feeling right before their first kiss when the both of them just let everything go and sank down into the water. that’s how you KNOW the next scene is supposed to be angsty...bc just like how their first underwater kiss had a sense of sadness to it bc they were hiding, their first (on screen) sex scene has that same sense of sadness, only this time it’s bc teh’s using his attraction to jai/his method actor desire to get into character to fuel the sex instead of bc he genuinely just wants to have sex with oh-aew. and if his reasoning for the sex is bc of that, then his task to recreate their first sexual experience will never live up to the actual first time they had sex (when they BOTH wanted it, and there were no other factors involved).

that’s not to say i don’t think teh doesn’t love oh-aew anymore. i think that there HAS to be some level of love still there amidst all of the confusion, but it feels a lot more like he’s testing his love/attraction to oh-aew during this scene (sort of like how he did with tarn in itsay) than a proper ‘love scene’. like he’s trying to reconfirm his feelings, whilst using oh-aew as inspiration for his role at the same time. it makes my heart ache that this is the first love scene we get from them this series, and it’s marred by the context of what we know is going on in teh’s head. like i said, it’s this permeating sadness throughout...and just knowing that oh-aew has absolutely NO IDEA what’s going on with teh and why he suddenly wants to have sex makes it worse. oh-aew’s been trying to make things work, and in his mind, teh spontaneously coming over like this prob makes him think that things are getting better between them since this is also the closest thing to teh showing any sort of initiative to work on their relationship in this ep so far...

and that’s not also taking away how beautifully this whole scene is shot. i’ve always loved the way that teh and oh-aew play and flirt with each other (bkpp’s chemistry is honestly unparalleled!!) so it was nice to see them be kind of playful before they started kissing again (if you ignore how sad this scene really is). i LOVE the inter-splicing between their first time on the beach and the present. the way the score swells, and little moments where you can see their feet and fingers interlocked on the beach. it gives you such a visceral visual (and totally takes me back to itsay days when that sort of imagery was used a lot more). i just hate that since we know the truth, this scene is more uncomfortable than satisfying despite how nicely shot it is.

i wish we got more domestic moments from them. i know their relationship has sort of grown past those initial moments of flirtation, but it truly makes me sad that we don’t get to see more of them as a couple in general in ipytm. moments like this where they’re lying in bed cuddling each other are so few and far between that i always feel like i have to cherish every little fleeting piece of fluff that i can get. even if idek if this can really be called fluff since the context sort of ruins it.

oh-aew’s still got his heart attack bag :’)))

he was soooooo happy when he met up with his friends 😭 but also, how the hell is it possible for teachers to move deadlines up like that. i FEEL that panic... poor oh-aew...

teh’s in rehearsals again and this time he’s wearing his moon shirt which...i do NOT need those ep 3 itsay vibes rn when i was already dreading this last ten minutes with everything i have in me :((( but anyway, jai’s brought plum wine to class and we know that teh doesn’t usually drink, but he does this time. he tells teh that the taste will change over time (it symbolises the ageing of the relationship process), and teh says it’s a pity he won’t get to taste it next time since jai wants to go abroad to study. then teh tells him he’s worked on the acting exercise and wants to try it out with jai, and i feel like we all knew where it was going to go from here.........

they really had to hammer it in with him missing oh-aew’s call too huh :/

as soon as they started the touching/intimacy exercise again i was just waiting for the catch. even on this rewatch i’m still sitting here chanting “don’t do it teh don’t do it” knowing full well that he kisses jai and there’s no changing that. but then when they cut to oh-aew walking up the stairs with the posters and you hear just how much time he’s sacrificed to help teh/jai on this...sacrificing time EVEN NOW just to go over to their uni to give them the posters when he has a presentation due tomorrow that he and his friends still haven’t finished working on...it’s just heartbreaking knowing what he’s going to end up walking in on.

whether it’s itsay or ipytm, teh’s default state is confusion. so while i think that there’s a certain amount of attraction towards jai there of course, i kind of get the feeling that he’s confusing his feelings of connection with jai (bc of their shared interests and passion) with him falling in love with jai. i feel like his attraction to jai reminds him of what it was like when he was first attracted to oh-aew, and since things have changed so much between him and oh-aew, it’s like he wants to recreate and capture that feeling again with jai (which is also why he wears the moon shirt...he wore that during itsay ep 3 beach scene, which was the moment when the attraction really started to burn between him and oh-aew). he can’t feel that same spark with oh-aew anymore, so he transfers his feelings to jai since, at this point in time, he feels closer to jai than anyone else. instead of growing alongside oh-aew, it’s like he’s choosing to revert back to a time when he was happier.

we know that teh has always been the type of person that will act on his impulses when he feels them. that’s WHY it was so hard to watch...bc i knew while watching that last scene, he was never going to restrain himself or put a stop to those feelings bleeding over into action. and esp not when it could benefit him in some way with his acting too.

in the end, it just makes me so devastated for oh-aew. and i really hope that he doesn’t let this go bc he thinks it’s just teh method acting or getting into character or whatever...i know that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things rn, but that’s not an excuse. he really fucked this one up.

the thing is, it’s not that i don’t think teh is capable of acting this way (i’ve seen a few people say that this is ooc for him, but it really isn’t? this confusion and impulsiveness has always been a part of his character from the very start...he was always the one that had the most trouble dealing with his feelings out of the two of them), but the time skips don’t do him any favours bc we lose all those moments that take him to what he’s currently feeling. when we don’t have those moments, then it’s a lot harder to sympathise with him. in itsay, bc we always knew how teh got from point a to point b, even if he did frustrating/silly things, i always understood where he was coming from. i always felt for him. i GOT his struggles, which was why i was always able to empathise with what he was going through. in ipytm, he just comes off as unlikeable bc of how superficial his feelings seem (from what we’re being shown on screen at least).

falling out of love with your significant other/starting to feel things for someone else is obv a fairly common experience, so i don’t blame teh for FEELING like this, but it’s how he treats oh-aew throughout this that doesn’t sit right with me. even if you feel like you’re falling out of love with someone, or that they’ve changed since the first time you fell in love with them, you’d think there’d be some motivation to at least TRY to make things work with them before giving up. we never see that from teh at all. instead, he just see him becoming infatuated with jai (so we barely see teh/oh-aew together in the first place). and while i can see now that a lot of this is due to his own insecurities and inadequacies, it’s also just so disrespectful to oh-aew who's the one that we see putting in all this time and effort (it calls back to their whole “don’t give my time to others” scene in itsay bc we see oh-aew giving so much of his time to teh through helping him out with his play, while teh’s giving that time that should be for oh-aew to jai now). no matter his reasoning, watching teh act that way towards oh-aew does make it increasingly hard to root for him. there’s just too big a disparity in how the two of them choose to act and devote their time to their relationship.

what’s frustrating is that in itsay, teh would fuck up but he would always try to make amends with oh-aew in some way. he would always come forward to try to sort things out after...but there’s nothing here. even after their dinner fight in ep 2, it’s OH-AEW that reaches out to him first (even though it’s teh’s fault that they fought in the first place). where’s that boy that dressed up in his old school uniform in order to talk to oh-aew at his school? or made a whole chinese idioms scrapbook for oh-aew? or gave up his uni admission for oh-aew? i understand that characters and motivations change (and he was obv hopped up on his first love with oh-aew at the time), but it’s just really, really sad to see teh keep messing up and not even try to meet oh-aew halfway with this. yes, you can fuck up, but there are only so many times you can keep fucking up before it starts to look more like a pattern of shitty behaviour than a few forgivable missteps.

another issue is that there’s been so much focus on teh and his flaws that a lot of the time oh-aew comes off as a side character to teh’s story. previously, i understood that since teh was grappling with his sexuality. it made sense that his journey was the primary focus of the plot and character development. but i always felt that there was more room to explore oh-aew’s story (and i thought that we would get a lot more of that in ipytm...esp after ep 1), but it just feels like we kind of skimmed past all of oh-aew’s growth and struggles adjusting to bangkok/uni life so we could turn the attention back to teh again. i just hate that we never get to see more of how oh-aew’s changed in teh’s eyes (other than the surface level things like his hair, new car and major), and that we never get to see more of oh-aew’s life when it’s not related to teh in general. i hope that we’ll get more of oh-aew in the last two eps, but i really don’t know what they’ll give us anymore.

at this point, i don’t even want them as endgame anymore given everything that’s happened in the recent ep. and it pains me so much to say that bc teh/oh-aew are so immensely important to me, but they’re just in such different places in life. and teh esp has so much more growing to do (i think i said this last week too? teh...). oh-aew deserves to be with someone that can see his worth as he is (that won’t cheat on him for one!!). i just want him to be with someone that can make him happy. what i wanted most for them out of this was for the two of them to grow to a better place (together and as individuals), and while i still want that for them as individuals, it’s hard for me to want them to be happy together anymore. at least for the time being.

i’m kind of at a loss for how they’re gonna work through this (and i genuinely want oh-aew to be able to explore his options too...particularly with someone that will actually treat him better than teh’s treating him atm). so at this point it’s kind of looking to me like a break up is inevitable? but i do think it’s necessary for both of them rn. i feel so heartbroken about it though...like ipytm is actually making ME go through the breakup...breaking up with all my beloved itsay teh/oh-aew memories :((( anyway, i think a break up is also conveniently the best time to put a time skip tbh...so we’ll see if that does end up happening now in future eps.

this one took such a long time to write up bc i wrote like a quarter of this RIGHT after i finished watching the ep (so you can clearly tell which parts were me right after the ep, and which parts were me after i had some time to sit on what happened 😂), but i thought it was best to take a bit of a break. i didn’t rewatch it again until i calmed down a little and sorted out my thoughts some more (though i know this is still pretty messy). but yeah, i’m still very much interested in watching how they things are going to progress from here...but i can’t deny how sad i’ve been feeling after this.

#i promised you the moon #ipytm #text #i feel like i always need to rewatch ipytm eps bc i'm so HEATED during the first watch #but then by the second one i've usually calmed down so much more #like i obv still have a lot of things that i'm not super happy with (and rewatching this again didn't really bring me joy) but still #i get so invested in itsay/ipytm that sometimes i just gotta take myself out of the situation and go live my life for a bit #i was meant to post this yesterday bc it's been sitting in my drafts for too long but i just woke up (it's 2am) so what better time hah

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just-another-ficwriter · 4 years ago

Text

Holidate - Part Three

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader, Past!Reggie x Reader

Words: 2300ish

Warnings: Cheating, stealing

Summary: Tired of being alone on holidays, Sweet Pea and Y/N decide to be each other’s plationic plus-ones all year round. What could go wrong?

Notes: I don’t know why I always make Katy Keene the villain when honestly I love her!!!

Valentine’s Day 2021

“Okay, what about this one?”

Y/N looks up from the invitation designs she’s been pretended to be interested in for the last ten minutes to see Betty already shaking her head at the sample Polly’s holding up.

“Too boring.” She finds it hard not to huff in annoyance when Betty starts shuffling through the pile in front of her once again.

Too much decoration.

It’s the wrong colour.

Not enough decoration.

The fonts all wrong.

Y/N hadn’t realised picking something so simple like a wedding invitation could be so difficult.

But then again, Betty Cooper had always been a perfectionist.

“So Y/N...” Veronica starts. Even her sister’s best friend, who had been more than happy this morning to help with all things ‘wedding planning’ was desperate to change the subject at this point. “Any plans for tomorrow?”

All four pairs of eyes fall onto her, and she suddenly wishes Betty would go back to her rant about comic sans again. “Actually I have a date.”

“You do?” Polly tilts her head in surprise, looking at the faces of the others to see if they were just as much in the dark as she was.

“Is it with Pea again?” Toni asks with a smirk. It’s not the first time she’d brought him up since the start of the year.

Veronica leans forward, eyebrows raising with interest as she teases. “Oh, tall dark and handsome from the party?”

“If you must know, it’s with a bottle of wine and my bathtub.” Y/N’s the only one to laugh at her own joke, the others just shake their heads in disappointment. “I might even treat myself to a fancy box of chocolates.”

She’s sure the conversation about her love life, or lack there off, was over when Toni playfully slaps at her arm, but Betty, whose taken to organising the samples in piles, has other ideas.

“Toni could totally set the two of you up.” Betty lifts her gaze long enough to eye her sister and then their friend. “Right Toni?”

“I’m perfectly fine, thank you very much.” Y/N frowns. She knew they all had good intentions but their need to always interfere was getting tiresome. She’d rather just find someone her own way, in her own time, rather than having some poor unsuspecting guy thrust upon her by the people in her life who just couldn’t help themselves.

She shudders at the thought of their last failed attempt. “I don’t need a date, tomorrow is just another Sunday.”

“Did something happen?” Veronica asks, sounding almost disappointed.

“Nothing happen.” Y/N sighs. “There was just no spark.”

“Oh please!” Toni practically jumps from her seat at his defence. “I’ve seen Pea with girls at the bar, and he’s never looked at any of them the way he was looking at you.”

Y/N makes a face to hide the flush heating her cheeks. “And that right there, is my cue to leave.”

“But I haven’t even picked the invites yet!” Betty cries out as the others groan in unison.

“Betts I love you-“ She pauses to shrug on her coat and pat the blonde sympathetically on the shoulder. “But there’s only so much of staring at bits of paper I can take.”

And then she’s gone, waving her goodbyes as she slips out of the shop and into the crowds of the busy mall with a sigh of relief.

She’s almost made it to her car when she passes a little chocolate shop on the lower level and feels her steps start to slow. She had mentioned to the others about possibly treating herself to some fancy chocolates so it wouldn’t hurt to at least have a little look.

She half way through browsing their selection, three boxes in hand as she weaves her way through the panicked men buying last minute Valentine’s gifts, when she hears a voice that makes her heart sink.

She jumps when he calls her name, the contents of her hands clattering to the floor. “Y/N Cooper is that you?”

She dives after the chocolate, afraid to look up. Maybe it’s not him she thinks. But then he’s on the floor with her, handing her back a box of truffles and she sneaks a look. Same slicked back dark hair, same breath taking smile he’d given her eight years ago on the football field.

She wants the ground to open and swallow her whole. “Reggie, hi.”

“You look... great Y/N/N.” He helps her off the floor and she has to stop herself from physically recoiling at his touch. Of all the people and all the places in Riverdale, of course Reggie Mantle would just so happen to be here at the exact same time as her. It was almost like a cruel joke. “How are you?”

“I’m-“ She’s cut off by a beautiful brunette wrapping herself around his arm, and her heart drops further. She recognises her face.

She’d seen her in the engagement photos on Facebook. She’d seen her sprawled out on Reggie’s desk two years before.

“Reggie! Here try this.” She ignores Y/N completely as she smiles playfully at the man between them. Reggie’s back to giving her his full attention as he opens his mouth so she can slip a chocolate onto his tongue. His lips close again around her fingers, moaning at the taste, and Y/N would rather be anywhere but here.

“Who’s this?” Katy finally acknowledges her and Reggie gives her a some what apologetic grimace.

Neither of them get the chance to answer before Sweet Pea appears suddenly out of nowhere and wraps an arm around her shoulder. “There you are doll, are you ready to checkout?”

“What?” Y/N blinks up at him, a little stunned.

“You were meant to meet me outside remember?” A bright neon sign would be more subtle than the look Sweet Pea’s giving her, pleading her to just go with it. “So are ready?”

“Oh yeah, sure-“

“Wait aren’t you going to introduce us?” Sweet Pea feels her tense up besides him at Reggie’s question, and pulls her closer.

“I uh- Sweet Pea this is my ex Reggie and his fiancé Katy.” Reggie nods slowly, eyeing Sweet Pea up and down. She can already hear his judgements about his name alone. “Reggie this is Sweet Pea-“

“Her boyfriend.” Sweet Pea interjects and Y/N cough to hide her surprise. “We should get going, it was nice to meet you.”

Y/N’s quick to agree, grabbing his arm and pulling him a little too harshly around the confused couple and out of the store.

A few minute later they’re out in the car park, Sweet Pea leaning against the hood of her car, watching her pace back and forth in a frenzy. She’d barely said a word to him since the two had run off.

“What the hell was that?” Her state of shock finally breaks, spinning to him with wide eyes. Had he really announced they were a couple back there?

“That was me saving you.” He smirks, a little too satisfied. “You’re welcome by the way.”

“Oh god that was awful I think I might be sick-“ She cuts herself off with a horrified gasp, glancing down at her hands. Three boxes of unpaid chocolates still clutched tightly. “Shit! I didn’t even pay for these!”

Sweet Pea watches her spiral further and grabs her arms to stop a total panicked melt down.

“Hey- hey it’s okay.” He says carefully, encourage her to regulate her breathing before some stolen Valentine treats push her over the edge. “Maybe if we just eat them quickly, hide the evidence, they’ll never know.”

Y/N blinks, slowly nodding in agreement before handing a box over.

They sit there in comfortable silence for a while, picking out their favourites before Sweet Pea speaks out again. “So I’m gonna guess by the three boxes of chocolate that you have no date for tomorrow?”

She feels her cheek flush at his observation and shrugs. “No, I guess not.”

“Why didn’t you just call me?” He asks, before reaching for another truffle.

“I don’t know.” She smiles a little sadly, cheeks burning a deeper red. “I guess I was embarrassed.”

“Well that offer to be my date still stands. Standing up again, Sweet Pea holds a hand out to her with a grin. “And you do kind of owe me now.”

Y/N finds herself accepting without hesitation.

“Can I ask you a question?” Sweet Pea’s laid on the picnic blanket besides her, leg stretched out as he picks at the label on his beer bottle.

The day had been a lot more fun than she’d been expecting. Y/N had gone in worrying about awkward questions regarding their relationship, fearing judgement from those who knew him best but they’d been nothing but welcoming. Even his best friend and room mate Fangs, had insisted she join them for drinks at the Wyrm that night, not taking no for answer.

She’d even enjoyed the look on both her Mom’s and Betty’s faces when they’d shown up together, confessing that her little joke at the mall the day before had been nothing but that, and she did in fact, have a date.

“Sure.” She shrugs, taking a swig from her own bottle. “Can’t promise I’ll answer it though.”

He chuckles at the way she smirks at him before asking. “Why are you single?”

“Woah, straight to the point.” She chokes a little in surprise.

“Sorry it’s just I’m not blind Y/N, you’re an attractive woman.” Sweet Pea casually points out. “Is it to do with that guy from the mall yesterday?”

“Reggie?” She pulls a face, and turns quickly away from him so she doesn’t have to look him in the eyes. “It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” He discard his drink to the side, moves an inch closer to show her he’s willing to listen if she wants to open up, so she does.

Things had been good at the start. Y/N Cooper and Reggie Mantle, high school sweethearts.

Reggie had been the first to show interest, where Y/N had been more resistant, weary of their age gap, little or not, and the fact he was younger than her. But he was nothing but persistent, insisting he wouldn’t give up until she agreed to at least one date with him at Pops, and so eventually she gave in.

A few cheesy jokes and a cheeky grin over a cheeseburger and suddenly he was all she could think about.

They dated through her senior year, promised to make it work when she went off to NYU and he stayed behind to finish school back at home. After a year of weekend visits and driving to Riverdale as quickly as she could every break, Reggie joined her out in New York, the two of them at college together, practically living at each other’s dorms until they graduated.

They managed to find jobs at their dream professions, moved into a little apartment that they made their own, everything seemed perfect.

Until one day, Y/N decided to surprise him at work for lunch, only to find him a little preoccupied with his beautiful assistant.

Katy Keene.

Just the memory alone makes her chest tighten, even if part of her feels a little relieved to have it all out in the open. Toni was the only other person to know the full story, so it was nice to have someone else’s perspective.

“So that’s it? One bad experience with a guy put you off dating?” He questions, earning him an awkward laugh from her end. “Not all men are Reggie Mantle.”

“It’s not just that Pea...” She’s sighs. There’s so much to the story he doesn’t know, things she isn’t willing to share the details of. “All the men in my life have lied and let me down, even the ones who aren’t meant to.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Sweet Pea arches an eyebrow and watches her struggle with the answer.

“My dad he-“ She cuts herself off with a shake of her head. She wasn’t ready for this right now, especially not when she’d already been so open about her past today. That, and the fact that she was enjoying talking to someone that didn’t look at her and only see the pain her father had caused. “He wasn’t a good person and it’s hard to trust someone when even your own father lies to your face.”

She’s caught off guard when he reaches over and places a warm hand over hers. When she looks up she’s met with eyes full of nothing but genuine honesty. “You can trust me.”

There’s no doubt in a mind to make her think otherwise.

For a second she swears she sees his eyes flicker down to her lips, but then he’s pulling away, awkwardly fumbling to sit up straight and the moments over just as quickly as it started.

“What are you doing for Saint Patrick’s Day?” The question slips out, a filler for the sudden uncomfortable silence between them before she starts to ramble. “I know it’s not really a typical holiday but my sisters usually come to New York and we’ve kind of made it a tradition to bar hop through as many places as we can before getting black out drunk.”

He can’t help but laugh, giving her a chance to catch her breath before she can get to the point. “I could use a date.”

“Sounds fun, I’m in.”

Holidate Masterlist

Forever Tag List: @p-marie-sp

Sweet Pea Taglist: @80sand90simagine @hopelesslylosttheway @be-gay-do-crime-cutie

#riverdale #riverdale series #riverdale one shot #riverdale imagine #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale sweet pea #riverdale edit #sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x y/n #sweet pea fanfiction #sweet pea edit #sweet pea series

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tracybirds · 4 years ago

Text

tidying is good for the soul

I just really really didn’t want to tidy my own room.... I forced Gordon to do it in my stead :)

Some angsty Pen&Ink decided to show their faces in the middle for ReasonsTM and I ran with it. I wish I could say the mess I’m avoiding is worse than Gordon’s... it is not.

------------------------------

The smell hit Scott first as he walked past, musty air filled with sweat, rotting food and something else he didn’t want to identify. The stale oxygen forced its way into his lungs as he peered into the room.

Breathing through his mouth only ensured he could taste the rich, ripe aroma. He bit back his instinctive reaction to gag, instead shoving his hand over his nose and mouth. He could see an egg on the plate sitting innocently on the chest of drawers, clearly abandoned in a rush to get to a rescue, still in its shell. Still in its shell, after what must have been days, the green-grey fuzz of mold cradling it gently where it lay.

“Gordon, you can’t live like this, you have to clean this up.”

“Huh?”

Scott gestured at the room at large.

“This! This garbage heap you call a room! How can you just lie there and… and… relax? When it’s like this?”

Gordon shrugged.

“Good defence mechanism.”

“You’ll get yourself sick like this, you know that.”

“It’ll strengthen my immune system.”

Scott coughed back the stench.

“Is that…?”

No. He didn’t want to know.

“I’ll be fine,” said Gordon, staring deliberately up at the projection on the ceiling. He was watching Buddy and Ellie again, nestled between two piles of laundry and exercise gear abandoned at his feet.

Scott knew what he had to do. He knew what he should do. He just couldn’t be sure if there were any landmines ahead of him if he strode into the room.

Necessity called.

He jabbed a finger at his comm and cut the power.

“HEY!!”

“Clean it up, Gordon. You’ll get your damn show back when it’s liveable again.”

“I was busy!”

“You were watching videos! And I know you’ve seen that episode before, at least four times.”

“At least give me my lights! Please?”

Scott shook his head, his mouth twisting in disgust.

“You can start by opening the curtains, and the windows too. Get some fresh air in here.”

Gordon grabbed at the water bottle, hidden in the clothes by his head, and threw it with the aim of an athlete at the door slamming shut. It hit with a loud thud and clattered as it hit the floor.

Water began to seep under the gap and Scott rolled his eyes at the sight. Let Gordon have his tantrum if he wanted. The space was becoming a hazard to them all, and his disorganised brother needed a push. He remembered the last ‘argument’ that had stemmed from someone else daring to do it for him. Scott still had the scar.

***

Gordon glared at the offending door in the dark. The glow of his comm on his wrist provided the only light in the gloom, being the only object not reliant on the power that Scott had taken away from him.

Guilt stabbed at him as he looked around. Now that Scott had brought it to his attention, he couldn’t deny the truth in his accusations. Most of the precarious piles in the space was trash he’d been holding on to, or items that needed a home that he couldn’t find the energy to designate. There were meals and dishes long forgotten as he traipsed in from a rescue in the small hours, stumbling forward with eyes only for his bed. By the time he’d woken up, they’d just become another faded feature of the past. And speaking of his bed, he’d been sharing that space with an assortment of clothing, tablets and oceanographic equipment for longer than he cared to remember.

Thank goodness Penny hadn’t dropped by for a visit. Not that she wanted to see him at the moment, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him slyly.

Gordon scowled, pushing the memory of their last meeting away with a practiced ease. He wasn’t dwelling.

He scrambled to his feet and picked his way across the background noise of the past two months. He yanked open the curtains and looked around, eyes blinking as he took in the sight of dishes piled eight deep glinting in the afternoon sunlight.

He could see Alan, waving up at him from the deck below, and felt the tug to join him, to dive into whatever his brother was doing, anything to not feel alone and stranded on this antipodean island.

Instead, he shoved open the balcony doors and scooped up the wrappers that spilled out of their caged position on the edge of his dresser.

It was a room of categories.

Trash and not-trash.

Things with a home, and things without a home.

Stuff that was mere clutter, and stuff he was still most definitely using, never mind that weeks had passed since they’d last found their way into his hands, thanks Scott.

He doubted Scott had ever found himself with a stray hair dropped on his bathroom floor, let alone sworn violently at a smear of toothpaste that somehow stretched from the mirror to the floor, smeared by a sleepy hand in a futile attempt to clean it off before Gordon collapsed.

Gordon was scrubbing at it now.

The food was an easy fix at least, and he’d quickly employed MAX for depositing the dishes in a soak, wash, rinse, purify with fire cycle.

The room was becoming semi presentable again, enough that Gordon could actually walk between the piles instead of taking strategic leaps from clearing to clearing. That one for laundry, that one for clean clothes, that one for clothes that might have once been clean but had been trapped under so much stuff he thought they might appreciate another rinse if only for a shot at seeing the local scenery.

He tugged at the comforter, trying to extract it from under the “still-being-finished” projects he’d placed lovingly out of the way on his bed. It might be nice to sleep under something that smelt fresher than his socks.

A final jerk, accompanied by a necessary grunt, pulled the bedspread clear, turning Gordon’s sound of frustrated power into a hard-earned yell.

He fell, yelping as his shoulder struck the edge of his drawers and sent a precarious collection of borrowed items cascading to the ground. With him underneath.

A sharp knock on the door drew his attention.

“Gordon? You alright in there?”

Gordon scowled at the door, imagining the way he might throttle Virgil if he came in now, with his barely disguised approval and his wide-eyed sympathy that Gordon couldn’t keep his space straight like the rest of them. Especially now that the once clear floor was covered in junk all over again.

He hit his head against the floor with a thunk.

“Fine. Get lost.”

He didn’t need X-ray vision to see the huff and rolling eyes Virgil gave in response.

“Have it your way. Scott’s got dinner sorted in an hour or so if you want it.”

Gordon was very certain he would not.

He didn’t move even after he had heard Virgil’s footsteps fade away. The afternoon light had turned golden warm as the sun began to set. He could ask Scott for the lights back, he knew Scott had only turned them off to grab his attention, but the dimming room suited his dark mood just fine.

He wished he could call Penny, twelve hours behind him and a world away, just to complain and joke about ways to pay Scott back tenfold for the trouble he’d caused him.

He wondered if she still bothered to wake up early when there was no one scheduled to call anymore. His 0400 alarm had hardly wavered, his body attuned to the rhythm and his heart wishing beyond reason to hear word of the daily minutia of life in high society London.

He couldn’t call her just to talk about junk.

He couldn’t call her to talk about anything.

Gordon scrubbed at his face, drawing his legs in as he made to stand once more. He reached out, fingers splayed on the floor, as he hauled himself upright. His eyes fell on the shimmering pink material at the base of the tower that now lay scattered across the room.

A scarf, but not just any scarf, as she’d haughtily told him. A gift from a Duchess, another high end and frivolous purchase, on loan from a very, very good friend of her father – Gordon could hardly remember the details, laughing at her affronted look while he downplayed its importance.

“Just a piece of fabric, Penny, no better, no worse than my pants.”

“Than your trousers, I should say.”

Gordon laughed again.

“Nah, Pen, definitely my pants.”

Maybe it had meant something to her, but she’d let him take it home, covered in her perfume and her love and her firm belief that he deserved something special of hers.

A tangible image of her heart and he’d taken it in with irreverence and mockery, and hidden it away beneath clutter and trash and the needs of everyone and anyone that wasn’t her. Lost it among a pile of junk now strewn on the floor, none of which even mattered, not even to him. He’d thrown half his life away, only to find her still draped all over him.

Draped, no thrown carelessly on his chest of drawers, with none of the delicacy and care that her vulnerability and trust deserved, none of the precious love he had sworn up and down was hers.

His vision blurred as he ran his rough hands through the soft folds and he tapped the comm before he could think twice about the consequences.

He couldn’t look at the holo as it answered, its blue light spilling out into the room, cold and lifeless. It might have been Parker for all he knew as he sobbed into the scarf.

“Gordon?”

Her voice was a balm against the wound rending him in two.

“Pen, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Her silence chased his mumbled apologies and regret into the darkened room.

“Thank you, Gordon.”

#gordon tracy #scott tracy #penelope creighton-ward #pen and ink #not a HUGE amount of pen though so fair warning #thunderbirds are go #sometimes i fic #*backflips away from my responsibilities by writing fic*#is the egg from personal experience only i will ever know

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melatovnik · 4 years ago

Note

ok ur top faves wangxian fics go

hey yati! 🥰��

alright, so first things first, here’s a big wangxian fic rec list i made a while ago, if you wanna check that one out too! consider the list below part 2. these are all my faves so far since my last rec list (as you'll quickly see, i have a LOT of faves).

and just a fyi/psa/disclaimer for anyone reading this: some of these fics have disturbing themes and/or kinky/freaky sex! make sure to check the authors’ tags and notes before reading. also, much like my first rec list, there’s going to be a mix of mdzs and cql canon, characterizations, dynamics, etc., so bear that in mind.

....ok GO

live from new york by varnes | rated E | 87K words | THE snl au fic!!!! yes, by snl i mean saturday night live. this is perhaps the best and funniest story i've ever read, period. varnes is a fucking genius. read this fic.

Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

“You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

“Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

swiss cheese theory by varnes | rated M | 19K words | sequel to snl au fic!!!!!! another must-read.

The Swiss Cheese model of accident causation likens human system defences to a series of slices of randomly-holed Swiss Cheese arranged vertically and parallel to each other with gaps in-between each slice. Defences against failure are modelled as a series of barriers, represented as slices of the cheese. The holes in the cheese slices represent individual weaknesses in individual parts of the system. The system as a whole produces failures when holes in all of the slices momentarily align, permitting "a trajectory of accident opportunity," so that a hazard passes through holes in all of the defences, leading to an accident.

OR: Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go to the courthouse.

OR: “Sweethearts,” the city clerk had said, very gently, “you’re already married.”

best friends forever by varnes | rated T | 17K words | alright, so like, strictly speaking, wangxian isn't the focus of this fic, BUT. this fic is so good!! it is seriously so good, and it made me fall in love with jin ling/lan jingyi. also, it's varnes, so read it!

It happened like this: Jin Ling was a sect leader now, which was, and Jingyi really meant this, fucking hilarious. There were few things funnier, in his honest opinion.

Because he was young, and inexperienced, and also — it had to be said — a real shithead, there was apparently some belief amongst his advisors that the best way forward, to promote the picture of a stable, mature sect leader who absolutely did not cry at the drop of a hat, was for Jin Ling to get married.

OR: Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged.

Things spiral from there.

For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm | rated E | 171K words

The picture is of Wei Ying, that much is clear. It’s of a lot more of Wei Ying than Lan Zhan is used to seeing. He supposes that, technically, Wei Ying is dressed. It’s a bare technicality, since one of Wei Ying’s hands has rucked up his black tank top practically to his collarbone, showing a long expanse of abdomen and one nipple. Sweat beads on his sternum, catching the light like jewels. His other hand is--Lan Zhan feels his eyes widen, as though unable to look away from a train wreck--on his hip, one thumb tugging down the waistband of a pair of red briefs. Wei Ying is biting his lower lip and looking directly into the camera, sultry, his eyes dark and inviting. His erection is obvious, outlined against the red of the briefs and framed carefully with the hand on his hip. Lan Zhan’s brain goes wildly, screamingly blank.

Or: Lan Zhan accidentally finds his best friend's OnlyFans account and has an ongoing emotional crisis.

love, in fire and blood by cicer | rated E | 360K words | i actually haven't finished this one since i was reading it when it was a WIP, i need to reread it and catch up fjdskl;fjsd, but i love it very much!!!!!! oh my god he wanted to look nice for his husband..... 🙃 [screams with mouth closed]

"You want Wen Ruohan dead," the Patriarch continued idly. "You want his corpse puppets eliminated. You want his halls burned to the ground and his soldiers disemboweled and begging for mercy. Have I about covered it?"

He gave another knife-edged smile.

"But what will you give me in return?"

"We would be willing to offer quite a bit in return for Wen Ruohan's defeat," Lan Xichen admitted. "But I'm afraid we don't know what an immortal such as yourself desires. Please advise us."

The Patriarch waved at hand at the front of the tent. "I want Second Young Master Lan."

(In which the Sunshot Campaign ends through an arranged marriage to the Yiling Patriarch, and Lan Wangji suffers the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband.)

how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by bwyn & Yuisaki | rated T | 55K words

A new plan hatches in Wei Wuxian’s head. If this nocturnal, bottom-feeding, slimy, invasive mudcat posing as a beautiful actor thinks he can sway Wei Wuxian with animal pictures and a sob story and an unbelievably stilted way of texting with still no dick pictures in the first five minutes of conversation, he has another thing coming. Wei Wuxian’s got it, alright, he has this in the fucking bag.

Wei Wuxian plots to expose a catfish using strategic memes and turtle pictures while wiggling his way out of family dinner. Lan Wangji just wants companions.

there’s no promised goodbye here by Yuisaki | rated T | 54K words

Jiang Cheng stares at him. “Didn’t you say you broke up five months ago?”

“Yeah.”

“So why do you have a picture of you two kissing taped to your fridge?”

“Because we’re too broke for magnets,” Wei Wuxian explains, then considers that statement. “Well, I’m too broke for magnets. Lan Zhan probably refuses to buy them because he’s trying to have lofty ideas about the moral failings of materialism.”

Wei Wuxian navigates the trials of living with his ex-boyfriend in apartment 1301.

paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 | rated E | 54K words

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

a paper friend by sunzu | rated G | 5K words

Lan Wangji finds a paperman far from its body and helps get it home.

-Or-

Lan Wangji unknowingly meets Wei Wuxian for the first time.

All Caught Up by brooklinegirl | rated E | 37K words

"Betrothed," Wei Ying says indignantly.

Lan Wangji can't stop his gaze from darting up to him. Wei Ying understands. Wei Ying is looking at him, wide-eyed and upset on his behalf.

"And you don't even like her," Wei Ying says.

"I don't even know her," Lan Wangji says quietly.

"But even if you did—" Wei Ying starts.

"I wouldn't want this," Lan Wangji finishes.

Lead Me On Through by mrsronweasley | rated E | 55K words | oh look another canon-era practice kissing fic fjdskfl;ds

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

I Started From the Bottom/And Now I'm Rich by x_los | rated E | 58K words | ok so i know that in my spiel above i said to mind the tags, etc., but actually pay no mind to the first two relationship tags for this fic. i PROMISE that this isn't that sort of dead dove fic fjdksl;fjs;lifkj. i. it. it's wangxian. don't sweat it. don't even trip. just—this fic fucking rules. it's completely insane and it slaps. wei ying is a girlboss and a bitch and i like her So Much

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

rather cruelly used and rather reserved by x_los | rated M | 14K words

In the month between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian leaving Yi City and their attending the cultivation conference in Lanling, Wei Wuxian discovers a locked room in the Jingshi. It is a mystery that clever and curious Wei Wuxian is doing everything in his power to avoid solving.

But the rose was awake all night for your sake/Knowing your promise to me by x_los | rated E | 8K words | resentment tenties~

The resentful energy occupying Wei Wuxian's body like an enemy army is very interested in giving him Lan Wangji, tied up with a bow.

Wei Wuxian is hoping that Lan Wangji (who is far too noble and very keen to save Wei Wuxian's misguided soul) doesn't find out about any aspect of that.

Mo Money, Mo Problems by x_los | rated M | 3K words

After the Mo family perishes in distressing and mysterious circumstances, Wei Wuxian, still reeling from his reincarnation, tries to dip back into their manor for a little travelling money. (Forward planning! What a concept!) Lan Wangji catches him immediately, and is highly unimpressed (read: furious) with Wei Wuxian’s decision to run away from him in the first place.

Standing Engagement by x_los | rated M | 18K words

Lan Wangji believes he and Wei Wuxian are essentially engaged. While they search for his missing betrothed, he accidentally reveals as much to Jiang Wanyin. Now everyone in the cultivation world knows about the imminent marriage, except for Wei Wuxian himself.

Coming Back to Yourself by acernor | rated E | 22K words | genital swapping for fun and nonprofit!

Lan Wangji gets cursed with a ~woman's body~ and has to orgasm to go back. Since he's 1) a virgin 2) super repressed and 3) SUPER gay, he has no idea what to do.

If only he had a super nosy friend who's read lots of erotic novels who could help him figure out what to do... hm...

Save a Sword by etymologyplayground | rated E | 5K words | a fic inspired by the above fic!

Lan WangJi presses a kiss into his throat, which draws a shivering whine from him. "Like this," he agrees, his voice so low. Then he slides one warm elegant hand down Wei WuXian's chest to his belly, and then to his — to his —

fan ending for acernor's fabulous masterpiece "coming back to yourself" because i'm a huge goofball and that fic fucks

Our Eyes on the Road by etymologyplayground | rated E | 23K words | brought to you by lore (the author) and Orville Peck's hit song Drive Me, Crazy

Lan Zhan is silent for a long moment, and the van's speakers quietly pipe the second song on the album into the empty space between them. Then Lan Zhan shifts his hand a little on Wei Ying's leg, presses his fingers once into the meat of his thigh. "Alright," he says.

"Alright," Wei Ying echoes in a wheeze.

"Is that better?" Lan Zhan checks, because he is a good boy. Then he spreads his fingers out a little wider, because he is evil and must be stopped.

Lan Zhan is driving to Chicago. Wei Ying tags along.

Worship you till morning comes by feyburner | rated E | 7K words

A meet-cute, a first date, a sleepover.

Let's take a ride round the curves of desire by feyburner | rated E | 6K words | yeah........... uhh, yeah.

Wei Ying was sprawled on the floor in front of the oscillating fan when Lan Zhan got home from work.

The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart | rated E | 105K words | a beautifully crafted, emotionally harrowing fic. i should warn you (since it's not quite tagged as such) that while wangxian is endgame, the overall story doesn't have the sort of happily-ever-after ending you might expect. i’ve seen it described as open-ended but hopeful and cathartic, which i find to be a pretty accurate assessment

Sometimes Lan Zhan doesn’t work through lunch. Sometimes he makes conversation with coworkers in the halls. Sometimes he goes home instead of spending the last hour trawling through Grindr. But mostly, that’s exactly what he does. The sameness is comforting. His life spools out in easily measured increments: capsule collections, yards of hand dyed textiles, ninety day lead times, sell through figures, cost of goods sold.

Every date in manufacturing can be calculated backwards and forward from a single horizon point: the date that the goods must arrive into the country where they'll be sold. Other than that, nothing else really matters.

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie | rated E | 76K words | i can't recall a fic ever affecting me as much as this one did. one of the best stories i've ever read. so, so, so crushingly beautiful. it's viscerally distressing/upsetting at times, especially at the start, so please heed the tags and author's note (they provide a way to skip the beginning scene if needed)!

That’s just the thing, isn’t it? Wei Ying feels nothing. He doesn’t feel anything, and this emptiness should scare him. He knows he should be scared. He wants to be scared. He isn’t. Fear itself is never scary; fear is just a response. It means that your body wants you alive. It’s the absence of terror that scares him.

请兔子吃晚饭; treating a bunny to dinner by yiqie | rated T | 3K words | read this one to recover from the above fic

It’s not really about the food. Being able to share it in the same space is its own kind of magic.

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie | rated E | 69K words | and then read this one to feel harrowed again, this time in canon-verse!

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable by yiqie | rated M | 7K words | read this one to recover from the above fic (this time in canon-verse)

“You don’t know? In Yiling, there’s a tree at the edge of town, one that stands at the fringes of where the city ends and the Burial Mounds begin, called the Lover’s Tree. They say if you write a letter and nail it to its branches, Yiling Laozu will receive it, and he’ll reply.”

你的阳光下; wanna hide in your light by yiqie | rated T | 2K words | :')

Lan Zhan shuts off the water before it can start getting cold, because Wei Ying still needs to take one. Any other day, Wei Ying would have slunk in, pretending to be annoyed that Lan Zhan started without him, and neither of them would have want for hot water, but Wei Ying is still asleep.

From my heart's ground. by orange_crushed | rated E | 38K words | get (orange) CRUSHED!!!!!!!

After a while he can feel a palm against his face, gentle fingers soft and soothing. It’s not real, not exactly: he can tell the difference between a ghost’s touch and a living person’s, between a spirit-vision and an overactive imagination. His education has been thorough. But the beating has also been thorough, so for now he forgets what he knows and leans into it, into the hand cupping his cheek. It’s soft and dry as those forgotten petals, as the touch of a pillow. He can smell wildflowers, can taste blood and dirt. My baby, his mother says, and he closes his eyes. My treasure. He barely remembers the sound of her voice, but the feeling of it is just the same. Just the same as ever.

[In which Lan Wangji loses almost everything, plants a garden, and grows a second chance.]

Pentimento. by orange_crushed | rated E | 73K words | this fic briefly gave me a serious case of career envy :/ ......but seriously, this is an absolute must-read!!!

When Wangji was eighteen he’d walked into the first class of his fall semester painting module and there’d been a boy in a hilariously ugly floppy knit hat sitting cross-legged on the floor at the front of the room. He’d had a sheet of canvas paper taped to his board and his board clamped between his legs and a tackle box of brushes and tubes—a real fishing tackle box, with a fish-shaped logo on it that said BASS, not one of the nice art supply storage boxes they sold in the campus bookstore, like the one Wangji was carrying—open beside him. Everyone else had settled into the rows of stools and easels, but that boy had stayed on the floor for the whole two hour and thirty minute studio. Wangji had looked at him and thought, that idiot’s back is going to hurt.

[Former best friends Lan Wangji, paintings conservator, and Wei Wuxian, art handler, meet again and realize... neither of them were actually in unrequited love.]

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed | rated E | 25K words

His fingers are still clasped between Wangji's. In the mirror Wangji watches him tuck his coat between his thighs so that he can fuss with the tucked-in hem of his shirt, tousle up the side of his hair, all one-handed. "I hope what I'm wearing is okay."

"It's good," Wangji says. "You look good."

"I guess I must," Wei Ying says, and then he smiles and bites his teeth into his bottom lip for a second, devastatingly, and before Wangji can drop dead the doors to the elevator slide open, and the hostess station appears.

[In which lonely businessman Lan Wangji meets the right wrong person and changes the course of his life.]

The dreamers. by orange_crushed | rated E | 17K words

“Stop mothering me,” Wei Ying protests. “Why don’t you ever listen?” He scowls at Wangji, but then the lure of the clean water is too much; he sits grumbling and strips off his vambraces and loosens the collar of his robes and wipes himself down in the steam. Wangji sits on a stool and watches him, and after a while Wei Ying slaps the rag into the bowl and glares back. “Are you going to sit and stare the whole time?” he demands. “You want to see me strip naked and give my filthy evil self a good scrubbing, huh?”

Yes, Wangji thinks.

[This is a story about a horrible war and a beautiful dream; about grabbing happiness where you can find it, and not letting go.]

mercy, tear it down. by orange_crushed | rated E | 31K words

“You want me to call you good?” Wangji says. “To make you feel good?” Wei Ying makes a wretched, soft, surprised sound in the back of his throat. “Then will you be good?”

“Uh,” Wei Ying says. His lashes flick down again, nervously. “Good how?”

Wangji hasn’t quite thought that far ahead.

Kingfisher Feathers by Anonymous | rated E | 83K words | WIP (7/10 chapters, last updated 4/13/21) | omg omegaverse!!!! @/ this anon author... keep up the great work! also i have feelings for u

With an almost trance-like detachment, Wei Wuxian touched his own neck, his fingers skimming over the fresh mark. The bite wound had stopped bleeding, although he had no doubts it would open again if agitated.

Bonded.

He was bonded for life.

"Shit," he whispered. He looked over at the sleeping form of Lan Wangji—the Second Prince of Gusu and, until his brother was found, the sole heir to the throne. "Oh, shit. Lan Qiren is going to kill me."

----------

Lan Wangji goes into a fevered rut and accidentally bonds with Wei Wuxian. When they next meet, he remembers none of it, and Wei Wuxian is determined to keep the bond a secret—even when he's sent to the Cloud Recesses to be a consort in Lan Wangji's harem.

(tl;dr concubine!wwx is already married to emperor!lwj, who has no idea. drama ensues.)

Pull out game weak by 74243 | rated E | 23K words | featuring the hottest meanest dom top lesbian lwj of your wildest dreams. i hope ao3 user 74243 is having an amazing day

Wei Ying swipes right.

Extra Time by Anonymous | rated E | 28K words | fic inspired by the above fic! seriously good

How Wei Ying learned to stop worrying and love the strap (an AU of 74243's Pull out game weak)

Superfan by 74243 | rated E | 19K words | ao3 user 74243 writing banger after banger as per usual

“I’m not going to apologize for my job,” Wei Ying said, “so if you want to give me some kind of lecture--”

“No,” Lan Zhan said. “You misunderstood. I am...” she paused, as if considering the best way to put it. “I’m a fan.”

Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes by 74243 | rated E | 7K works | i'm just going to list all of ao3 user 74243's fics, ok? that's what's gonna happen here

Wei Wuxian was a little surprised herself, although she felt bad for being surprised. Of course it didn’t really mean anything about you, how you presented, Wei Wuxian knew that better than anyone, but all the same it was hard to reconcile Lan Zhan as an omega.

(wwx makes an error of judgment)

If the shoe fits by 74243 | rated E | 8K words

Wei Ying loses a bet.

the And they were roommates series by 74243 | rated E | 19K words total

That was the other thing, when Wei Ying had moved in. She’d scented Lan Zhan immediately, the sandalwood and smoke rising off her, almost before she’d taken in Lan Zhan’s straight posture, her narrowed eyes. She’d known that Lan Zhan could tell, too. At the end, when they’d talked about the rent and Lan Zhan’s nearly finished PhD and Wei Ying’s working hours, Wei Ying had said, casual and effortless, “And you don’t mind that I’m an omega.”

“No,” Lan Zhan said.

Chef's kiss by 74243 | rated E | 7K words

Wei Ying said, “You know, in some ways I’m kind of depressed. I took your biggest dick on my first try. Now I don’t have anything to build up to.”

“There are bigger ones available,” Lan Zhan said lazily. “I can pay for express shipping.”

(Lan Zhan works the late shift.)

Gold-palmed Warrior Quest! by 74243 | rated E | 13K words

When Lan Wangji suggested that they camp along the way to the Unclean Realm, rather than staying at inns, Wei Wuxian had been sceptical.

Dway! by 74243 | rated E | 6K words

“Hm,” Wei Ying said. “You like it rough, though, right? You seem like that kind of alpha.” When she saw Lan Zhan’s expression she raised an eyebrow. “What? Was I wrong? Are you tender and sweet? Do you cry?”

“You were not wrong,” Lan Zhan said. “I do not cry. Do you?”

tgif by 74243 | rated E | 17K words

Today Lan Zhan says that if Wei Ying cannot control her mouth then she will have to tape it shut.

On the ground by 74243 | rated E | 5K words

“I think you will like it,” Lan Zhan said.

Does your mother know by 74243 | rated E | 5K words | editing this rec list on a monday morning to add this brand new fic fresh off the presses. thank u ao3 user 74243 for feeding us so well 🙏

“Lan Zhan is such a well-behaved girl,” Madam Yu said.

all that and more by Euphorion | rated E | 20K words

Wei Wuxian locks his phone and puts it down, blinks at his ceiling, and picks it up again. The pictures are still there.

His first thought is that Lan Zhan meant them for someone else. That he just woke up at—he checks the timestamp—6:30 am on a Sunday and decided to go absolute full nuclear seduction option on some poor boy he met on Grindr, who would now be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him because Wei Wuxian had a bad habit of distracting—of—oh.

Pieces of last night start to resurface and paste themselves together in his head. He winces.

The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones | rated E | 77K words | of my faves, this is one of my favorite... faves. top faves. incredibly fun and silly and hot. just... oh my GOD, wei YING!

“I know! Why don’t you try it? Let me go and I’ll lend it to you!” Wei Wuxian bribed hysterically, desperate to escape from this encounter by any means necessary. And then, his eyes blew wide, realizing what he just said. ‘Wait— just what am I offering Lan Zhan?!’ he thought. How was he so stupid, how did he just offer that without thinking—

“You want me...to use it… after you?” Lan Zhan asked, his voice unusually faint.

~*~

Wei Wuxian's test of mysterious, literally magical sex toy goes awry when Lan Wangji finds him in the woods 'experimenting' with it and it ends up in Lan Wangji's possession.

Unfortunately, neither of them is aware that the toy is anchored to Wei Wuxian's body. Too bad Wei Wuxian invited him to try it.

Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers | rated E | 60K words | !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is a really good fic

Lan Zhan stands there in his immaculate, cloud-patterned Lan robes, watching him calmly, one fist tucked up against his back. “I am betrothed.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Are you…” He tries to laugh. Again, it sounds inhuman. “Is this about last night? Are you mad at me? I only remember some of it, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sure whatever I did I was just—” He gestures uselessly. He remembers being warm in Lan Zhan’s lap. He remembers fitting snugly in Lan Zhan’s lap. Wrapping his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck. Nosing at his jaw. “…playing around.”

“This has nothing to do with you, Wei Wuxian.”

none in the forest so bright as these by saltyfeathers | rated E | 6K words

Wei Wuxian puts a hand to his head, brain lost in fog. “Lan Zhan,” he pants. “Why are we here? Are we on a hunt?”

As Lan Zhan tries to remember, his brow furrows. He shakes his head slightly. “I don’t know.”

“This is bad,” Wei Wuxian says. When Lan Zhan cups his cheek again, sparks burst behind Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “Or maybe it’s not,” he says unthinkingly. Sighs, almost. Lan Zhan looks at his own arm like it's betrayed him. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and presses his face into Lan Zhan’s palm. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he murmurs. “What’s happening to us?”

out in the garden, there’s things you hid away by saltyfeathers | rated E | 121K words | oww oww oww 😣😣😣💘

There is a man with empty eye sockets and tears of fire in Wei Wuxian’s dreams. Tendrils of smoke curl around him in sleep, pressing at his most vulnerable spots, seeking entrance, slipping between his ribs.

When he ignores Lan Zhan's offers of help, he declines rapidly. He will die. Or, he should. Anyone else would.

Instead, he flees. And transforms.

crawling through your door by saltyfeathers | rated E | 12K words

Lan Wangji kisses him. When he pulls away, he speaks into the silence between them, because when he is with Wei Ying, he so rarely considers. “Why don’t you touch me anymore?”

Lan Zhan Works for the Historical Society by saltyfeathers | rated E | 7K words | some real real good lesbian action up in here

Pretty Lan Zhan. Beautiful Lan Zhan. Ice queen Lan Zhan. So intimidating and femme and coldly polite in public, yet meaner than a man in the bedroom. Wei Ying has slept with men before and none of them were mean-nice to her like Lan Zhan.

threadfic by saltyfeathers | not rated (each chapter rated/tagged individually) | 34K+ words | WIP (11/? chapters, last updated 3/15/21), but it’s a collection of stand-alone oneshots

semi cleaned-up wangxian twitter threadfic.

【已經打動我的心】So Sing To Me All Night by aroceu | rated T | 10K words | arrow writes wei ying so exquisitely well. i was weepy the whole time read this fic. for the best experience, i recommend following along with the accompanying spotify playlist.

No one listens to the radio in this day and age, but somehow from a bunch of left clicking and right clicking, through Facebook and Twitter and Youtube, Wei Ying finds himself on the WQHS homepage—the UPenn student radio station, promising eclectic tastes from a variety of hosts. Wei Ying can't remember giving a shit about his old college's student radio before he dropped out, but it's eleven at night and he has nothing else better to do. He clicks on the button that says Listen Here! and waits to be impressed.

get wild by aroceu | rated E | 24K words | 🔥🏀🔥 BASKETBALL FIC 🔥🏀🔥

He was looking for a specific reaction—to get Lan Zhan to lash out. All hard edges and demanding, the same way during the first scrim, Lan Zhan's dark voice had made him loose and obedient, itching to both rebel and obey at the same time.

It's them, whatever it is, but it doesn't belong on the basketball court.

Wei Ying didn't expect to enter a weird... something-with-benefits-plus-power-play with the captain of the Gusu basketball team. He's not sure if it's worth it.

without a warning by aroceu | rated T | 10K words | 🥺️🥺️🥺️

“Blegh,” Wei Ying says. “I hate being sick, Lan Zhan… my throat is so sore… why do I talk so much?”

“Stop talking then,” Lan Zhan says.

“You don’t mean that,” Wei Ying says, in his half-asleep daze. “I know you’ll never admit it, Lan Zhan, but you like it when I talk.”

your honor i’m a freak bitch by aroceu | rated E | 6K words

Wei Ying gestures to his outfit. His hands are buried deep within the hoodie; he’s mostly gesturing with the sleeves. “Well, it works with the whole get up, you see?”

“The…” Lan Zhan looks down at where his fingers are toying with the top of Wei Ying’s thigh highs. Wei Ying pretends he is not shivering. “…skirt. And these stockings.”

“Thigh highs, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying says, batting at him with the end of a sleeve.

Play It By Ear by aroceu | rated T | 7K words | MY HEART !!!

In the virtual airplane flying over the island, appropriately called Yiling, Lan Zhan watches as bits and pieces of the island load in. There are many Statues of David, a gothic teacup ride, and, from what Lan Zhan can see, an entire field of spoiled turnips.

hanguang-jun @/hanguangjun Do you need turnips to sell?

timmy and tommy in a trenchcoat @/yilinglaozu oh! no haha! 😅 those are from a while ago but my brother insists i keep them there

for the ~aesthetic~

the key that our souls were singing by aroceu | rated M | 5K words

“I haven’t seen you since—Gusu, was it?” Wei Ying says. “Oh my god, it’s been so long. I didn’t even know you were LGBT! Unless you’re here as an ally, which is also totally cool—”

“No, I.” Lan Zhan coughs. Her throat feels dry. “I am a lesbian.”

abort retry fail by aroceu | rated E | 21K words

Lan Wangji must miss his husband over this amnesiac of a man Wei Wuxian has turned into. Well, Wei Wuxian will show him! He'll be even better—or at least, try to be just as good of a husband as he would be, without his memory loss.

Blackout If You Were Mine by aroceu | rated E | 9K words

Wei Ying likes to wear chokers a lot. So Lan Zhan buys some for him. Then, testing their limits, collars.

Wei Ying wears those, too.

Or, the one where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan accidentally stumble into a BDSM relationship.

eleven thousand meters & airborne by aroceu | rated E | 5K words | 😎✈️😎

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying join the mile high club.

many fox given by defractum | rated E | 24K words | can't go wrong with foxxian and dragonji content 🦊🐉

Lan Zhan is glaring at him. That's probably fair.

The last time they'd seen each other, Wei Ying had been digging through Lan Zhan's garbage. They'd made eye contact over the shredded bags, the week's trash scattered around him like stinky, oversized Lego.

Lan Zhan's eyes had been wide with horror, and Wei Ying's had been equally wide with feigned innocence. He'd reached out slowly, maintaining the eye contact, and then flipped over the food waste bin full of onion peel and carrot skin as a distraction and slunk off into the night. Probably not his finest moment.

Modern AU dragon!LWJ meets fox!WWX.

the tamed by defractum | rated E | 12K words

If the Second Jade of Lan insists on bringing the Yiling Patriarch as his guest to the next Cultivation Conference, he must first demonstrate a control over the Yiling Patriarch and his unnatural abilities.

The letter lies on their desk for days.

Post-canon, Wei Ying is invited, sort of, to a Discussion Conference.

us in a king-size, keep it a secret (say i'm your queen, i don't wanna leave this) by matcha_ado | rated E | 3K words

People always said Wei Ying was a royal pain in the ass. They were absolutely right, of course, just not in the way they thought.

it is wednesday my dudes by jelenedra | rated M | 4K words

Wednesday nights at Cloud Recesses strip club are always a little weird, but usually they're not this horny. Whatever Wei Ying and Lan Zhan get up to, Mianmian is not going to be the one to clean it up.

i'm the one for your fire by occultings | rated E | 43K words | cherry magic au! love it

Wei Ying, virgin and noted heterosexual, gets hit with a curse of an unusual nature on his 30th birthday — through physical contact, he can read the minds of others around him.

Enter Lan Zhan, hot former rival and current coworker, whose true thoughts about Wei Ying are nothing like he expects. (A loose Cherry Magic AU)

a thousand teeth, yours among them by darkredloveknot | rated E | 11K words

A one night stand in the time of zombies.

hoe to housewife pipeline by lanzhancore | rated E | 5K words

“You type fast,” Wei Ying murmurs, making a futile attempt at conversation while he waits for him to be done with… whatever. “Not to be pushy, but do you plan on fucking my ass anytime soon?”

or: wei ying has been thirsting after lan zhan for three slutty slutty years

can you feel it by lanzhancore | rated E | an instant classic

“What’s wrong?” Wei Ying asks finally, eyebrows drawn together. “Is everything okay?”

Thumbs stroking circles into his skin as if to comfort him, Lan Zhan says, “Don’t panic.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, sitting up on his elbows. “What did you do to my ass?”

“Nothing,” Lan Zhan says, convincing nobody. “But we need to go to the hospital.”

or: wei ying really should have sprung for the model with the flared base. he learns this lesson the hard way.

because you're mine (i walk the line) by lanzhancore | rated E | 8K words

Wei Ying is freshly cream-pied and still trying to remember where his legs are when Lan Zhan outlaws masturbation.

or: wei ying fucks around and finds out

payload by lanzhancore | rated M | 3K words | babysitter wwx + dilfji, what more could you need

Wei Ying has a whole five hours and thirty-six minutes to calm down but when he hears Lan Zhan’s key turning in the front door lock later that evening he has to cling to the couch cushions to keep from marching into the laundry room to retrieve the briefs so he can wave them in Lan Zhan’s face and demand to know who owns them.

or: lan zhan's self-restraint is not limitless

the to the brim series by verseau | rated E | 14K words total

Wei Ying wants to rob him, but it wouldn’t even be satisfying, since this guy is just—giving away money. With his nice fingers. Maybe Wei Ying will just bite his fingers, and that will give the same endorphin rush as robbing him. / a day told across five parts.

get that message home by verseau | rated G | 2K words | ohhhhhhhhh myyyyy godddddd 😭

Sizhui's father cannot haggle. It is a shame on Sizhui’s honor to have such an honest father.

Author's note [i'm including it here because it's golden]:

there is a scene in arrested development where lucille, who is on the opposite spectrum of humanity as lan zhan, asks, "it's a banana, michael. how much could one cost? ten dollars?" there are no bananas in this story.

dreaming and getting a glimmer by verseau | rated E | 27K words | a particular favorite of mine 🔥🍆💦🕳🔥

Wei Ying discovers himself.

trust your fingertips by plonk | not rated (but really rated E) | 15K word | 🥵️🥵️🥵️🥵️🥵️ plonk you’ve done it again!

Lan Wangji must suppress a shiver at every brush and press of Wei Wuxian’s fingers.

Under different circumstances - less public ones - he would welcome touch, given that his body is in such an aroused state.

Alas, his circumstances are these: sitting quietly while Wei Wuxian, the famous (infamous) Doctor of Yunmeng, digs his fingertips into Lan Wangji’s shoulders and chest and sides and hums thoughtfully.

Doctor, Doctor by YunmengLotus | rated E | 4K words | mmmmhmm!

Wei Ying needs to get a prostate exam. How ever will he deal when the world's hottest doctor walks through the exam room door and tells him to bend over?

TAKOYAKI by ariskamalt | rated E | 3K words | lan zhan gets jealous of his own damn appendages. meanwhile, wei ying is just having a good time.

Lan Zhan…cannot always feel or tell what his tentacles will do.

His free hand curls into a fist. Underneath his skin, the tentacles give a little squirm, as if aware of the challenge he has just issued them. No touching Wei Ying unless he says so, because he wants to touch Wei Ying first. They squirm again, as if to say, Tentacles: 1, Lan Zhan: 0.

That will just have to be remedied.

Or, as phnelt first described: Tentacle-ji with the semi autonomous tentacles getting jealous of his tenties for touching Wei Ying in places he hasn't yet

Outage by SugarMilkTea | rated E | 3K words | [cough] 😳😳😳

The power goes out in Lan Zhan and Wei Ying's rural home in the countryside. Lan Zhan takes advantage of the darkness to give in to one of his baser urges, and Wei Ying's first rural power outage experience is about to get a lot more interesting.

big hands (i know you’re the one) by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 8K words | NICE. 🔥🔥🔥

“Not a big talker, hm?” Wei Ying tilts his head to one side. “That’s okay, I’ve been told I’m a good enough conversationalist for three. My tongue is multi-talented and—”

He has just enough time to feel her palm on the back of his neck and think, oh, her hands are so big, before his words are being stolen into her mouth.

darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 7K words

“Are you done playing around?”

Knowing that’s not what either of them actually wants, Wei Wuxian reaches up to tickle under Lan Wangji’s chin. Soft little scritches, coaxing motions—Lan Wangji is weak to all of them.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

(or: five times Lan Wangji paid special attention to Wei Wuxian’s interest in being his gege.)

put him on his knees, give him something to believe in by dustyloves | rated E | 2K words | if the title is quoting WAP, then you should know by now it’s gonna be some of that good filth

The next time Wei Ying kisses him, Lan Zhan is careful again. Wei Ying seems determined to make it very difficult.

the hard way by dustyloves | rated E | 9K words

"Anyway, you make it sound like something lewd is going on," Wei Ying complains. "It's all totally above board. She's just being a nice person. It's just one kind alpha grad student offering one room of her huge house to one beta undergrad in need, what could be more appropriate than that?"

// Wei Ying makes a mistake and finds out the hard way.

Exhibition by sevenless | rated E | 5K words

“Oh?” Wei Wuxian raises an eyebrow. “The forbidden section, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn.”

“You’re not afraid of being heard?” Wei Wuxian thinks aloud. A smirk creeps onto his face, eyes glinting. “Or could it be that Lan-er-gongzi actually wants to be heard? Seen? Caught?” He skips in front of him, blocking his way. "Disciplined?”

Lan Wangji’s ears, as always, betray him.

a history of the body by northofallmusic | rated E | 14K words

Wei Ying's body hurts sometimes; she lets Lan Zhan help her.

A fic about the complicated nature of having a body, and also the versatility of sex toys.

(our friendship) up against the ropes by daltoneering | rated E | 36K words

The reboot completes, and Wei Ying’s brain smashes this information together into two mind-shattering thoughts. Number one, he knew very well already, and is now further seared by defined muscles and a mouth-watering tattoo into his every waking moment: Lan Zhan is the hottest fucking person on the planet.

Number two: that guy wasn’t visiting Lan Zhan’s neighbour, he was visiting Lan Zhan, which means:

Lan Zhan fucks. Lan Zhan fucks. Lan Zhan fucks.

;

Lan Zhan has been Wei Ying's best friend for years. Literally, years. How did he not already know? How has he missed this most important of facts? And more importantly, how is he ever going to get over it?

watching my heart go round by typefortydeductions | rated E | 38K+ words | WIP (2/4 chapters, last updated 5/2/21) | lan zhan i love you baby 💞

Lan Zhan falls apart. As it turns out, that's not the end.

oh man this list is so long sd;jfkdsjfhhh

yati, i hope you find some stuff in this pile here that you’ll enjoy! it's not an exhaustive list, so check out the authors’ other works and bookmarks for more goods, if you feel so inclined 😙💕

#darlingbenny #mdzs #fic rec #nsfw!

39 notes · View notes

lovestrucked-again · 5 years ago

Text

Neighbours | J.Jaehyun

NCT m.list

Summary: The fire alarm went off at 3am and now the cute guy from next door is standing next to me in his boxers.

Pairing: Fuckboy Jaehyun X Reader Word Count: 1.9k Warning: Fluff

Request: hi! it's first time requesting omg but can u please do an imagine where it's y/n's first time to make out with anybody and fuckboy!jaehyun got so soft? thank u!!

A/N: Thanks for your request and I’m so sorry I took so long on this but I hope this makes up for it! I had fun writing this and intertwining the scenarios with this.

_______

“What is it this time?!” You scream into your pillow, rolling over to turn your side lamp on. This was the third night in a row with the fire alarms going off from the unit across yours. You rub your eyes, trying to wake yourself up from your drowsy state before checking the time on your phone, 3:02am.

You let out a heavy sigh, wrapping a robe over your silk night dress and slip on your bunny slippers. You take your phone off charge seeing it at 100% and trudge over to the door, intending to go have a proper look at the unit with the blaring alarm this time.

When you swing open your front door, the lights in the hall flicker on and your eyes adjust to the faint lighting. The building was built like a square, the inside being hollow for sunlight to shine through and units surrounding the sides. You take a few steps closer to the railing, squinting into the darkness, attempting to locate the unit.

The sound outside of your home is louder, the noise violently invading your eardrums. You can see a few lights turning on as people appear on the floors above and below, pointing in the same direction you’re squinting. What a pain.

“Y/N?”

You don’t hear the sound of your next-door neighbour’s door opening so when the sudden voice calls out your name your snapped out of your trance and jump in surprise, whipping your head around to look.

“O-oh my god!” You yelp, spinning back around just as fast to face the darkness. Jaehyun leaps into action at your sudden response, running over to check on you while letting his door slam shut.

“What is it? Are you okay? Y/N?” Jaehyun’s voice is right next to you as your face is buried into your palms, heat rising on your cheeks. You take a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself, wanting your voice to be clear and strong before you answer.

“Is that you’re pjs?” you ask, your voice squeaking. It wasn’t the exact words you had planned to say but your point was made. Jaehyun takes a moment to glance at himself before chuckling lightly, taking a step back.

“Sorry, I was just going to take a peek through the door.” Jaehyun explains, raising his hands up in defence “Didn’t intend on actually coming outside like this.”

You’d talked with your neighbour before, meeting him on the day you moved in. He offered to help you move in and show you around the neighbourhood but you had politely declined, your parents always warning you to avoid strangers.

“No your u-uh, you’re okay.” You state, letting your hands fall awkwardly to your sides. It’d been a while since you’d seen him. His hair was tousled around, covering a little of his eyes that reflected the moonlight in the dark. Your eyes skimmed around quickly, darting between his bare toned chest and to the door behind him, then back to him.

“The alarm woke you up?” He asks, not feeling embarrassed at all standing in the open in just a pair of boxers.

“Yeah, wanted to see which unit it is.” You explain, your eyes glancing around in circles, avoiding him. Why can’t he see how inconvenient his appearance is making this conversation. You can only pray the dim lighting prevents him from seeing how tense you are.

“Maybe give them a piece of your mind,” Jaehyun tells you, throwing a few fake punches in the air.

“Sure..” You mumble out, definitely not what I’d do but okay.

The alarm suddenly stops, the peaceful silence of the night now becoming more distinct than ever. The few grumbling neighbours who had come out during the event also disappearing back into their homes.

“Well I better head inside, it’s freezing out here,” Jaehyun says.

“Yeah good idea.” You suggest, hoping to go back into the safety and warmth of your own bed. You lean against the railing, waiting for him to leave first as you stare out at the moon for a bit longer.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun murmurs

“What is it?” You ask, turning around to look at the back of his figure as he plays with the knob on his front door.

“I think I locked myself out,” He sighs, letting his head fall against the door with a soft bang.

Time felt like it stilled as you let your expression fall. Thoughts were running through your head, Should I offer my place? I can’t leave him out here can I? Ah goddamn it.

“I guess you can stay at mine for the night? I’ve got a couch and some spare sheets if you want.” You offer, letting out a shaky breath. For a moment, there was no words exchanged, just the heavy beating of your heart and you second guess your offer.

He lets out a sigh of relief, turning around to face you, “Really? Thanks that’d be great babe.”

“It’s fine, can’t have you freezing out here.” You tell him, staring straight at the ground as you speed walk back to your door, avoiding his gaze. You couldn't tell anymore, was your face so flushed from the cold or was it his words. Babe.

You fumble at the front door, finally unlocking it as he stands behind you patiently, waiting for you to lead him inside your home.

“I’ll get you some sheets.” You tell him, running into your room to find them. The spare minute you have to yourself lets you hear just how fast your hearts racing. Fuck is this a good idea? Your pulled back out of your trance when you his voice coming from the living room.

“Can I take a seat?” He calls out.

“Yeah, make yourself comfy.” You yell back, grabbing an old shirt and some pants from deep underneath your drawers – which you personally never wanted to see ever again. You walk back out and Jaehyun’s sitting on the couch, staring at the photo frames along the bookshelf.

“Cute photos.”

“Thanks,” You smile at the compliment, they were pictures of you and your siblings from a family trip back before you moved out.

“Is this for me?” Jaehyun asks, pointing at the pile of fabrics still in your hands.

“Yeah, hopefully it fits.” Before he’s able to say anything you walk back into your room to find the bedsheets. Found it. The only spare bedsheet you had was a pink fairy bedsheet used on the occasions your friends came for sleepovers. Whatever, it’ll do. You grab a spare pillow from your bed and switch the pillow covers, throwing the old one on the floor.

“A guy’s shirt?” Jaehyun asks, an eyebrow raised with a hidden smirk.

“It was my ex’s,” you emphasise, taking a seat on the couch beside his now fully clothed figure.

“You’ve dated before?” he asks, the shock evident in his voice.

“Of course I have, why do you sound so surprised?”

“Sorry that’s not what I meant, you just seem so reserved and,” Jaehyun takes a moment to think, looking to the side, “quiet? Just a little surprised is all.”

“Well I’m not that reserved.” You fight back, feeling like you’d just been titled as boring, “What about you? How’s your girlfriend?”

“I’m single actually.” He stares at you with an amused expression, leaning against the couch as he waits for you to explain.

“Oh, I thought you had a girlfriend...” you mumble out.

“What makes you think that?” He asks, surprised that you actually kept an eye on him.

“Well, I see like different girls coming over all the time so I just assumed...” you explain, suddenly feeling a little ashamed of how rushed you were to judge his lifestyle.

“What can I say? I suppose I’m just that charming; I can’t help that so many ladies like me.” He says, leaning back against the armchair of the couch, shoulders raised.

“What a liar.” You mutter to yourself, hiding your giggle with a cough.

“What’d you say babe?” He asks, scooting closer to you.

“Nothing, nothing at all.” you wave off, leaning on the armchair on your side.

“Did you call me a liar?”

“What? No, of course not, how could I do such a thing?” You gasp, sarcasm dripping out.

It’s hard to notice in the darkness but his figure suddenly launches at you and you scream as his hands start running along your body, tickling at all your sides.

“Stop Jaehyun! I’m going to cry,” You wheeze out, laughing as the tears start forming in your eyes.

“You bought it upon yourself!” He yells over your laughter.

“Stop!” you cry out, trying to fight back as he stays hovering over you while your squirming against the couch.

“Make me.”

And for some unknown reason, all your buried confidence that you weren’t even aware you had, brings you to do the craziest thing, you kiss him.

Jaehyun stops immediately, his hands frozen against your skin. He doesn’t move and you pull away quickly, embarrassed.

“Sor-” Before your able to finish your sentence, Jaehyun wraps his arm around your neck, bringing you closer to him as his lips press against yours. His kisses are soft, the opposite of what you wanted right now. Your hands knot into fists around the fabric of his shirt, pulling him harder against you as he lets out a low soft groan.

It’s not until you feel his tongue, pushing against your lips, begging for entrance which brings you back to reality. Your hands release his shirt and you place them against his chest, creating some distance between your bodies.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“I u-uh, I’ve never actually made out with someone before.” You mumble out, the darkness saving the flushing red on your face from being seen. Jaehyun doesn't laugh, he takes what you say seriously. On the inside though, it drives him crazy, realising how innocent and pure you are.

“It’s okay.” He smiles, resting his hand below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as he smashes his lips against yours again, your breaths mingling. You run a finger down his spine, bringing his body closer to you as the gap disappears.

His insistent mouth parting your shaking lips, send wild tremors along your nerves, bringing out the sensations you’d never known were possible. The minutes pass feeling like seconds as you realise you’ll never have enough of this, of him. He’s everywhere, hands up your back then around your waist, suddenly kissing you harder, deeper with a desperate urge.

“You’re so perfect,” he whispers, prolonging each word as if to savour them. Your heart flutters at his voice as your hands reach to cup the sides of his face. He brings his hands to yours still wrapped around his cheeks. Staring directly at you. “What have you done to me?” He murmurs, kissing the palm of your hand.

“Can’t help it, I’m charming like that.” You giggle, grinning up at him. Jaehyun lets out a laugh, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“You’re mine now.”

“All those girls will be absolutely devastated to find out you’re taken,” you tease and he lets out a scoff, pulling you up into his chest so your weight is now on him.

“That��s not my problem.”

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