#Kim is really going through it in that snippet and it just... continues to be sad bad devastating lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alfvaen · 9 months ago

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Summer's ended, not for the first time. I guess I can see that it was not as ridiculously hot and smoky as some of the other recent summers around here, but still not great. Also ended is another month, which means it's time for me to ramble about books and stuff.

Possible spoilers for Kim Stanley Robinson's "Science In The Capital" series, Terry Pratchett's Tiffany Aching books, C.L. Polk's Kingston Cycle, and, for the last time for a while, Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan Saga.

Lois McMaster Bujold: Gentleman Jole And The Red Queen, completed September 4

Here I come at last to the end of my latest Vorkosigan Saga reread. And my first reread of this book at all. It came out after I reached the end of the series in my reread blog in 2015, which was probably the last time I did a full reread of the series up to that point. I did read a number of books in the series to my sons when they got old enough, but I was unable to persuade them to go much past A Civil Campaign with my lukewarm assessments of the later books.

My primary impression of my first read of the series is that nothing happens. Which I'm sure is not a fair assessment, but, basically, it does not reach the level of excitement of any of the previous books in the series whatsoever. I kept catching what I thought where clues about where the plot was really going to go when it picked up, and then every single time it turned out to be a false alarm and the plot continued to not pick up. It's a fairly gentle book, and I found that excruciatingly annoying.

Sure, we return to Cordelia, we return to Sergyar, we revisit some of the landmarks (literally) from Shards of Honour. See, the surprise ending of Cryoburn (which I am now spoiling for you all) is the death of Aral Vorkosigan, and all that we get to deal with it is five drabbles (100-word snippets from the point of view of Miles, Cordelia, Ivan, Gregor and Mark). For this book, it's three years later, and Cordelia, now sole Vicereine of Sergyar, is contemplating changing her life in two ways: by resigning as Vicereine…and starting some embryos of new children of hers and Aral's from his frozen seed.

We also get to really meet Admiral Oliver Jole, who's in charge of the fleet around Sergyar. Previously I only remember him as one of Aral's staff officers back in The Vor Game. And it is gradually revealed (perhaps a spoiler, but I don't really care) that that whole time, he was Aral's lover. In fact, Aral, Cordelia and Jole were a secret throuple. It makes a kind of sense, since, by Cordelia's assessment, Aral is bisexual but more attracted to men, particularly military men. He probably wants to be monogamous, to be a good Barrayaran, but Cordelia's from Beta Colony and they have far fewer sexual hangups, so she wouldn't care, and so he gets to have his same-sex relationship as well.

Cordelia tells Jole that out of her frozen eggs, some of them weren't viable, but they can do a thing where they can remove the nucleus and replace it with genetic material from another cell. Including a sperm cell. So she offers him the chance to create his own embryos with his and Aral's DNA. Which he accepts. And so now they're both gestating some children in uterine replicators…and then they end up starting their own affair. It sounded like they had had their own sexual encounters before, but only with Aral also participating; now they're trying a relationship with just the two of them, sub rosa at first.

About halfway through the book, we get Miles and his family coming to visit, which is nice to see (though it still doesn't lead to anything exciting happening), including all six of their kids. Miles is in the loop on his mother's plans for new children, but not about Jole.

There's also a few subplots--Jole's assistant who ends up dating a ghem-lord from the Cetagandan embassy, plans to build a new facility so they can relocate the capital away from its current too-close-to-a-volcano location that keep going awry, and bored teenagers getting into trouble (which provides one of the few moments of tension). One explosion near the end which provides one of the others.

When I think of similarly low-excitement stories from elsewhere in the saga, I mostly end up with novellas--"Winterfair Gifts", perhaps, which is maybe principally a romance; "The Mountains of Mourning", which was a mystery, and still had attempted horse-murder and firebombing, and infanticide, so it packs way more of a punch; and "The Flowers of Vashnoi", which still has a little drama in it. This one is attempting to be an entire novel and it feels like it doesn't have enough steam. It also kind of reminds me of Ursula Le Guin's Tehanu, which I recall being equally dull for large chunks of it, and even that had some excitement at the end. This one just feels like waving a languid goodbye.

Goodbye, Vorkosigan Saga. We'll always have Memory. We'll probably never get to see stories with Miles's children (or Cordelia and Jole's children, or Ivan's or Gregor's) growing up, outside of fanfic. Lois isn't being mean to the characters any more, they can have their happily ever after.

Jenn Lyons: The Ruin of Kings, completed September 11

It was time to try a new author again, a female author. But considering the last two books were SF and urban fantasy, probably not one of those, which was a bit of a quandary because many of the one I was interested in were one of those. But I browsed the epic fantasy books on my shelf and decided to go with Jenn Lyons. I've heard good things about it, and my wife recommended it (and has read the whole series), so I guess. It seems thick, but it's actually not even 600 pages in the copy I've got, and I'm not worried about long books putting me behind on my Goodreads challenge any more anyway. (Since I changed my goal from 100 to 90, then added those two short humorous library books, I've been consistently ahead. I might be able to fit in a Neal Stephenson before the end of the year.)

The book is oddly structured. In the first part, our main character, Kihrin, is in jail and being watched over a being named Talon who seems to have absorbed the memories of a lot of other people. They pass back and forth a "recording stone" and tell Kihrin's story at different points (Kihrin started later than Talon thought he should so she takes it upon herself to fill in the backstory). This happens over alternating chapters (labelled with who's doing the telling), fairly short, Kihrin's in first person and Talon's in third, and often from different POVs. Oh, and this is also being annotated by a different character that we don't even meet until half to two-thirds of the way through the book, who puts in footnotes that I'm not sure even add much value.

I'm not entirely sure it all works. There's the disorientation of the rapid timeline shifts, the confusion of when the further-forward timeline mentions something that hasn't happened in the backstory timeline, the fact that due to body-swapping magic I started to lose track of who was who and who was whose child/parent and who was dead and who was alive… Sometimes information was dropped that seemed irrelevant, and so I didn't retain it, until it turned out that hey, that god was going to be an actual character and things that happened centuries ago are actually relevant. It feels like a book I'm going to have to reread, and not because "it was just that good" but because there's so much that I missed the first time through. (For instance, it's got icons at the beginnings of chapters, which I missed about 95% of on my way through, even after I first noticed them.) I also belatedly noticed the family tree at the back, which might have been helpful earlier (or perhaps spoilery), and it's confusingly annotated because of the body-swap thing mentioned above. And yeah, a lot of godlike characters with weird relationships to each other and Kihrin. (I do actually kind of like Talon, who is an interesting and dangerously amoral character mostly being used a tool by others.) Plus a significant item which seemed to just randomly appear to the main character during the climax? That could have been done better with a little bit of foreshadowing and/or lampshading to explain why it was more than just a horrendous coincidence.

It reminded me in bits of other series. The backstory structure reminded me a little bit of the Kingkiller Chronicles, some of the characters and worldbuilding reminded me of the Eli Monpress series, and the mostly nasty noble characters made me think of Pierce Brown's Red Rising. I will doubtless continue reading the series, but it hasn't fully won me over.

Mark Twain: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, completed September 15

I definitely wanted a palate-cleanser after the Jenn Lyons, something that wasn't fantasy. And maybe not even speculative fiction at all. And, because of my schedule, with a male author. And Huckleberry Finn has been sitting there for a while…and sometimes even gets some discussion on Tumblr, mostly to do with people claiming it's a bad book because Huck uses the n-word, and other people rebutting that that's part of the whole point, having it examine Huck's learned racism, or something. So it's still being talked about, is the thing, more often than, say, Madame Bovary.

As you may have gathered, the vast majority of my reading is science fiction or fantasy, and very little of it is what anyone might call "literature". (My wife and I had a disagreement recently about whether or not Sherlock Holmes stories count as "literature". I think that they're detective stories and thus still kind of genre, like the Dick Francis books are thrillers. But it's a fine distinction.) I read very little mainstream until I was in university, when I decided to branch out a bit. I actually liked Thomas Hardy's The Return of The Native, so I went out and read some more on my own initiative (mostly I liked them except for Jude The Obscure), and I also liked Dickens and Twain and Victor Hugo, and to some extent George Eliot and Jane Austen. But most of it just doesn't scratch that itch and give me what I want in a read.

I am already somewhat familiar with the Tom Sawyer/Huckleberry Finn milieu. Which is to say, I had a tape of the soundtrack of a Tom Sawyer musical when I was a kid (lost decades ago, I couldn't even hum any of the songs, but I remember the bit about the fence whitewashing and the confrontation with "Inj*n Joe" at the end), and I had the Classic Comics version of Huckleberry Finn so in theory I know basically how it goes. I read the actual Twain version of Tom Sawyer a few years ago, but I haven't read this one yet.

So, is it the greatest American novel ever written? Chyeah, right. I mean, it was fine, I guess. It had its moments. It was very episodic as they went down the river (and, as was lampshaded in the text, why would you head south down the river, apart from the obvious answer of "it's hard to go upstream", when you're trying to help a runaway slave get to free states)? It was entertaining in parts, when Huck was coming up with regular off-the-cuff entire fictional backstories. Constant use of the n-word, which I was expecting, though perhaps not quite that much. But it's first-person POV so I guess it's just Huck's vernacular. Still, I can see that it would be off-putting.

The most annoying parts of the book, I'd say, were the parts actually involving Tom Sawyer. Tom apparently has a mental disorder where he reads a lot of bad books and absorbs their clichés and then insists that all of the clichés have to be present every time or else you're not doing it right. We see it near the beginning of the book where he's trying to set up the local boys as bandits or something (though grudgingly he admits that it's all really pretend), but it also dominates the last quarter of the book. Due to outlandish coincidence, Huck is staying with Tom's uncle and aunt who think that he's Tom, and when Tom actually shows up he has to pretend to be his own brother Sid. But Jim has also been captured as a runaway slave and Huck wants to free him. And Tom insists that Jim has to do all of the prisoner clichés and make the actual rescue 1000% harder, to the point of having to spend days digging a tunnel, warning the household in anonymous notes, getting a grindstone for him to scratch messages on (which they have to actually let Jim out to help them do), giving him random animal companions, and I was not there for it. It was trying to be funny but mostly it just came across as stupid.

And the reason Jim got captured in the first place was because of these two con artists they'd been traveling with, who were generally referred to as "the duke" and "the king" because of their respective claims to alleged nobility. They are nasty pieces of work (well, not so bad as Huck's actually-abusive father that he fakes his own death to get away from in the early part of the book, but highly distasteful) that at least do manage to get themselves tarred and feathered by the end, but I didn't enjoy most of the time we spent with them. So if we take the other third of the book without them or Tom Sawyer, it was pretty enjoyable. The rest of the time it was mostly just tolerable.

Kim Stanley Robinson: Sixty Days And Counting, completed September 21

After the laugh-fest that was Huckleberry Finn, I didn't want something too light-hearted, and I was still feeling a little off fantasy, so I went through my male-author books looking for something else, like maybe some science fiction. It had been more than a year (my usual "long-enough" criterion for continuing in a series) since I read the last book in Kim Stanley Robinson's "Science In The Capital" series, so I thought it might be a good choice.

I'm not always the biggest Kim Stanley Robinson fan. His Orange County trilogy was middling, and while I did enjoy the Green Mars trilogy, some parts were a bit of a slog. But, to my surprise, this series has been pretty readable. It focuses on a group of people in and around the National Science Foundation in what is presumably a near-future or, by this time, possibly-alternate-near-past. (The books were published during the second Bush administration.) We have the Quibler family--Charlie and Anna, and their kids Nick and Joe, and then we have Frank Vanderwal. Frank starts out in San Diego but comes to Washington to work for the NSF, Anna also works there, and Charlie was an assistant for Senator Phil Chase. In the first book, Forty Signs of Rain, there's a big rainstorm and the capital floods; in the second, Fifty Degrees Below, there's a very cold winter and the Gulf Stream starts shutting down. Because the series is primarily about climate change.

Frank seems to have the most interesting plotlines--he meets a mysterious woman mamed Caroline during the flood, whose husband seems to be into some shady dealings such as election tampering, and they have an affair, and during the second book he starts sleeping rough in his van and in a treehouse in a local park; he may also have gotten a brain injury that affects his decision-making processes. Meanwhile, Senator Phil Chase ends up running for president (spoilers: he wins) and somehow manages to commit to trying to deal with climate problems (which is how you can tell this is actually science fiction).

There's also a subplot about a group of climate refugees from a fictionalized place called Khembalung in alternate-Tibet, who were displaced onto islands in the Indian Ocean which are now disappearing as ocean levels rise. Charlie deals with parenting young Joe (who some Khembali suspect might be a reincarnation of a Dalai Lama-type figure) while his job for Phil Chase becomes more important.

I guess the nature of the plot (and the fact that it's supposed to be mostly realistic) means that, without a large timeskip to the future, we can't have a strong resolution that ties up all the climate loose ends. We deal with the Caroline plot, and there is progress made on the climate problems, but the rest mostly seems to just…end at a point. Plus there are plenty of scenes which are just there for theme or atmosphere or something (did we really need to see so much of Charlie and Frank hiking the Sierra Nevada with some of Charlie's friends?) It didn't gel for me, and it's gotten to the point where it feels like alternate history more than extrapolation. I'm sure it won't be the last Kim Stanley Robinson I read, but I liked the other books in the series better.

Terry Pratchett: A Hat Full of Sky, completed September 24

Reread time again, and now that I've finished the Vorkosigan reread, what's next? Well, some of the series I've been rereading have been longer ones, but I couldn't settle on another one of those. I kept thinking of shorter series to reread instead. And when I did the Katherine Kurtz Deryni series in four trilogies, I found it was nice to stick my interstitial rereads one at a time in the middle of the series rather than put them all at the end, and that's also what I did during the Vorkosigan reread. So this time I am going to be doing three shorter series rereads, and my four interstitial rereads before and after each one.

Among the "interstitials" is my slower Discworld series reread. I elected not to reread the whole thing all at once, because that's like 40 books, that would have taken too long, so instead I've been doing one book per other series reread. In fact, I started the reread before I got into doing all the series rereads, apparently, way back in like 2005, before Unseen Academicals was even out, which explains how I've managed to get this far into the series at this pace. One or two a year, and it kind of adds up. (In the interim I did read a lot of the series to my daughter as well, from Mort through to where we bogged down and abandoned The Fifth Elephant) My wife, who had fallen behind in the Discworld series apart from Amazing Maurice and the Tiffany Aching books, elected to read the books she'd missed just fast enough to stay ahead of me. (And now that I'm actually reached the Tiffany Aching rereads she may end up pulling even further ahead.)

When I first read The Wee Free Men I had no idea that there would be more Tiffany Aching books (and I don't know if Terry Pratchett did, either). I don't recall that it made a huge impression on me at the time, then. It was definitely aimed at younger readers, with a young protagonist and the Nac Mac Feegles for comic relief (and tiny but sort-of-adult reinforcements), and I, at the time, was not a younger reader. But I did like later books featuring Tiffany, and so this is the one where things do start to pick up a bit.

Now she's no longer trying to do everything on her own, she's being taken into the witching apprenticeship track, such as it is, which is a bit of an adjustment. And this ain't no Harry Potter. This is more like, say, the first part of A Wizard of Earthsea, before Ged goes to the wizard's college on Roke and is still studying with Ogion on Gont. Or maybe Tehanu, which I haven't read nearly as much and don't remember as clearly. But we also have a spooky creature, like Ged's shadow, for Tiffany to confront.

Apparently when I first read this I was kind of meh on it, since I only gave it three stars on Goodreads, but this time around I liked it better, and I'll bump it up to four. The Nac Mac Feegle scenes no longer strike me as gratuitous comedic pandering, and the book does a good job of showing Granny Weatherwax's power as a witch, as well as Tiffany's burgeoning powers. (And one has to wonder if Lois McMaster Bujold read this before "Penric's Demon" or if it's just a coincidence.)

C.L. Polk: Soulstar, completed September 28

"Female diversity" slot time again. (Anyone else getting tired of hearing me call it that? The more I repeat it the worse it sounds. How about "non-white non-male"?) Last time around I snuck in another Michelle Sagara, and perhaps I should be trying one of the new authors I have piling up for this slot, but I did kind of want to finish this C.L. Polk series first. She(/they) is a person of colour from the Calgary area, though I've never managed to see her in person.

This book is the third in the Kingston Cycle, set in a kind of analog of Britain, where they use magic to keep huge storms from devastating them. The only trouble is, having magic is illegal unless you're part of the existing group of magic families, who guard their prerogatives jealously, and illegal witches are locked up (to secretly power the weather magic). The first two books concern two siblings, Miles and Grace, from one of these families, one of whom was hiding his identity after undergoing experiences likely to get him locked away, and the other trying to use her political power for good ends. For the third book, though, we switch to an unrelated side character, Robin Thorpe, who was one of these hidden witches, but the political landscape has now changed and they can come out of hiding--and need to, to save their country. Robin is heavily involved with an anti-monarchist group who wants a full democracy in the country; with all the upheaval, is it the right or wrong time to move forward?

The books also have romance subplots, which are…well, let's just say none of them are heterosexual. In this one, Robin is reunited with her nonbinary spouse who has been a captive for decades, so it's a renewal of relationship rather than a new relationship, but still with a romance feel to it.

There were times in the book where I was just seething at some of the horrible things the (generally rich and arrogant) antagonists were able to get away with, but in the end they got their come-uppances. It's a kind of a short book, actually, and at the end I did feel like I wouldn't have minded more of some plot threads, but overall it did feel like a satisfactory conclusion to the trilogy. We also have Polk's The Midnight Bargain and clearly that will have to go on my shelf.

I also read a few more comics from April 1994 on Marvel Unlimited (and a handful of back issues, now that they've started putting those in again), and then I started reading the Ed Yong book An Immense World that I believe I got for my birthday a couple of months ago. It's about the senses that various animals and other living beings use to experience the world. My progress has been kind of fitful, depending on how my fiction book reading progresses in a day and whether I feel like just doing puzzles or games or something, but I can often manage a few pages near the end of the day.

#books #reading #Lois McMaster Bujold #Vorkosigan Saga #Kim Stanley Robin #Science In The Capital #Jenn Lyons #Mark Twain #Huckleberry Finn #Terry Pratchett #Discworld #Tiffany Aching #C.L. Polk #Kingston Cycle #Ed Yong

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lgctaeha · 2 years ago

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╭ ✿ MTBD ! ╯

TEAM UNKNOWN 002 ; RAP LESSONS

"I can do it better! Really - !"

Taeha's silenced by the swift wave of two manicured fingers and a firm shhh! The coach's eyes are fixed on the iPad placed on the table between them, the sound of Taeha's first try at performing a few rap snippets filling the room. She's never been one to shy away from reviewing her performances, but listening to herself now was almost as excruciating as sitting through her first year communications lectures. The coach finally pauses the clip and hums. It was one of those hums. The kind of 'hum' that signals to a trainee already bursting at the seams with nerves that what she just presented was nothing short of -

'Impressive.'

"Wh - what?"

The coach nods once, scribbling a few quick notes onto the notepad at her side. 'You've improved a lot already.'

"R - really?! So... you - You don't hate it?"

'I do not,' the coach's usually stern tone softens, but her hand continues to steadily move along the lines of the page, leaving Taeha on edge. 'Relax. This isn't an evaluation. Breathe. In and out.' Taeha promptly obliges, sucking in a deep breath and quickly pushing it out, her shoulders drooping forward a bit. How long had she even been holding her breath for?! 'We still have a lot of work to do,' the coach adds, sliding the device across the table for Taeha to view. 'I want you to rewatch this section, but without sound.'

Although she can't help responding with a slight frown, she nods and leans forward to watch the clip with somewhat of an open mind. It is a bit bizarre to see herself this way - Brows furrowed and head moving this way and that, her hands flailing somewhat wildly in various gestures. Her coach reaches over to pause. 'What do you think?'

"I think... I think that I definitely need to work on my facial expressions? I look a bit..."

'Ridiculous? Yes." Wouldn't be her first choice of descriptor, but there was little room to argue. Taeha shrinks in her seat, fingers fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "I guess.. I was just really trying to be like the artists you sent me? I watched so many performances and everyone is just so... It just seems so..." she trails off, teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "I... I just don't know if I'm cut out for this kind of thing? I'm not really - I'm not very - "

'Uh huh,' the coach hums once again, pen still going. Taeha leans forward, trying to take a quick peek but the notepad is quickly tucked under the coach's chin. 'If you think you're not cut out for this kind of thing, then you're not.' Her heart sinks in her chest, eyes already beginning to well at the coach's instant ( a little too instant, if you'd asked her ) agreement. 'But,' she adds, playing the clip once more. There's a brief moment at the end of her reel where'd she'd clearly forgotten a lyric. She glances off camera into space, first staring blankly and then putting on a bright grin as the words finally come to her, wiggling back into center with her eye smile in full view. 'That. That did not look ridiculous. That is a Taeha that's cut out for this. That is rapper Taeha I want to see.'

"You... you want me to forget my lines?!"

'N - No, Taeha. I want you to be yourself! That's the whole reason you were chosen for this role. If we wanted another Kim Nayoon or CL, we would've gotten an impressionist. We want to see what you bring to the rap position. In this entire reel all I saw you do was mimic what you think a good rapper looks like. But that girl -' she emphasizes with a tap of her nail against the screen. 'That girl has the potential to be a great rapper. If she learns to relax. Breath in and out.'

Taeha gives a hum of her own, swiping away the tear that had still threatened to slip down her cheek - this time in relief instead of worry. "Breathe in and out," she repeats, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

'Good. Now, I want to hear you do those lines again, bar for bar, without all the... Whatever that was,' the coach chuckles, navigating to her sounds to play the selected track. Taeha sits back up in her seat, eyes wide and silently reminding herself to just breathe.

#╰ ❮ ❀ legacy ⁄ team unknown ; ❯#lgc:lgcgirlsjapan #( wc: 751 )#( side note: her coach is literally just drawing a bunny this entire time )

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laesas · 2 years ago

Note

For the fanfic as game:

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Thank you!!!!! I keep getting over excited and writing so much more than I mean to so in the interest of not taking over an entire dashboard! TINY answers here; Long answers and snippet under the cut :)

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I think I'm getting good at consistent use of imagery for characters that layers and carries across a fic! It's expecially nice to do for Kim or Chay POV (my little songwriter duo) who I imagine have a very good sense for those kinds of pretty descriptions and metaphors and use them in their heads!

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Ken my bestie Ken. Manwhore Manipiulate Manslaughter 🥰 - He terrifies me to write though!! (also Chan - answered here)

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP

I'm reworking my entire KimBig kiss from the beginning (again.) but this time I really like it, so there's a snippet of that under the cut! :)

✨📝 Writers Ask Game 📝✨

💌Send me one here!💌

Long answer time hehe!

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I really love consistent use of imagery in fics, especially ones that feed into eachother and build on top of eachother across several scenes. I'm definitely not perfect at it but it's one of the things that I'm really proud of in the KimBig story! (For context, they're both processing the fact that Kinn was kidnapped and shot and almost died)

Kim and Big are both heavily represented by fire, so lots of sparks and smoke and burning etc. and the warmth vs the volitility. I hoped by making the imagery consistent I'd give the sense of them desperately seeking warmth but also destroying themselves in the process. It gets referred to as "a mutual immolation" at one point, which I think sums the fic up pretty well!

By contrast, Kinn's metaphors are very cold and water based. In the beginning for example, there hasn't been any rain in Bangkok since Kinn left, but by the end when Kim has processed that Kinn is safe, it's raining outside.

For the layering; In the aftermath, Kim refers to his grief surrounding Kinn with this imagery of standing on a shoreline waiting for a tsunami to hit. So where Kim and Big come together and create a little fire, all of Kim and Big's feelings surrounding Kinn gets represented by this huge inevitable force of water that completely extinguishes what little warmth Kim and Big have sought out.

IDK probably a horrible explaination and I swear it's much more subtle in the fic haha! I dont want to be too self congratulatory about it because I am aware that that style of writing isn't for everyone and it's also a fic for such a ridiculous rare-pair that literally 6 people max are going to read. BUT in the interest of self-indulgent explorations of metaphor.... it's fun and I'm kinda proud of it hehe

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

I answered Chan here (for so many reasons!) but I have spent the last several months WISHING I understood Ken well enough to write him!

He's just such a mix of things I struggle with as a writer - He's incredibly direct (to the point of cruelty) and I imagine it's similiar in his inner world as well, which takes a lot of my beloved imagery and metaphorical speak off the table. Plus he doesnt strike me as someone that's particularly introspective or self aware. If someone calls him out on something, he's much more likely to respond by lashing out than he is to absorb any kind of reasonable criticism or change his behaviour.

Paired with Big (and he *wILL* be paired with Big) there are just so many ways that those dynamics could play off eachother. I feel like putting them in a scene together would be a case of the characters very much controlling the scene and not me and I LOVE to plan a scene haha!

I do imagine Ken has a bit of a superiority complex though, which WOULD be incredibly fun to write. Especially as it feeds into how he became the traitor! He's finally being appreciated as something more than one of Kinn's loyal dogs! (Read: he's Vegas' dog now) If Big doesnt want him then he doesnt care! that doesnt matter because Vegas wants him! (Read: Vegas is manipulating him, Ken is lying to himself)

I literally love him so so much but writing him TERRIFIES me!!

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP

I'm currently completely re-working the KimBig kiss! once I'm done with that it's just........... betas and posting??? aah!?

Big's hand feels like static where it rests at his back. He stays still, he leans up, he goes where Kim guides him, but he’s almost sickeningly pliant, the only indication he’s affected at all is the uneven hitch in his breath as he kisses Kim back, meeting his mouth with a gentleness that’s almost cruel. His lips are soft but the sparks aren’t catching fast enough and all Kim wants is to be consumed. It’s not enough. It occurs to Kim that this, all of this, is a terrible idea. The thought, once distant and impassive, now spreads in ice-shard splinters across his skin. They should stop. Kim should stop. Kim should let him leave. But that thought is worse. It constricts in his lungs and warps his vision in a rush of vertigo. ‘Please,’ Kim thinks. His desperation beats in time with the pounding of blood in his ears. ‘Please. please. please. please.’ He doesn’t think he says it out loud but he must have done something, whispered something, thought it loud enough that Big could hear; because suddenly there’s a shift. There’s a sharp intake of breath, the sensation of Big's fingers curling into a fist through the fabric of his t-shirt, then Big is taking his bottom lip between his teeth and Kim’s thoughts finally, finally go up in smoke.

I love a ramble! So sorry these got so long haha!! but thank you so so much for asking ily!! 😊🌸🥰💕

#Kim is really going through it in that snippet and it just... continues to be sad bad devastating lol #my poor lovely touch-starved faves #dhjkfshekgj so sorry these are the longest answers of all time I just get so excited about it and am like and ANOTHER THING!-#I just LOVE themb (Kim Ken Big my deadly yet sopping wet sadboi trio of complicated unrequited emotions lol)#ask #ask meme #cytharat #kimbig #kim kp #big kp #ken kp #kpts

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lizhly-writes · 3 years ago

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So in your knw orv reader au, how does he survive kdj?

Haha, well, this is probably a kind of basic answer, but I imagine that it’s actually pretty easy. It’s true my memory is canon is kind of hazy, but to me, it rather seems that he needed some kind of rationalization for attacking Kim Namwoon. Like, yeah, he really doesn’t like Kim Namwoon, but at that point, I think he needed an excuse other than ‘I don’t like him’ – which, yeah, was the actual reason, but not really good enough to kill a random teenager. Now, if the teenager was 1) attacking him first 2) attempting to kill an old lady… well, that’s just justified, isn’t it. Clearly, this nineteen year old is a terrible person, and it would be a crime to let him live on, huh?

Now. If our Kim Namwoon wasn’t doing any of that? I imagine Kim Dokja would have a significantly harder time trying to rationalize it.

So. Have something taking pretty immediately after this snippet.

A thin, white-haired young man in a school uniform stands at the end of the carriage with a tight smile and a body at his feet. “Don’t look at me like that,” he says. “Was I really supposed to wait to die?”

Kim Dokja doesn’t even need to read the nametag to know that this is Kim Namwoon.

[ Congratulations! Due to your willingness to act, the remaining time has been extended by five more minutes. Everyone, shouldn’t you be grateful for this young man’s actions? You should follow his example! ]

“Haha,” says Kim Namwoon, tilting his head to the side. “Hear that? I saved your asses. Look, now you have five more minutes to think about if you’re really going to kill someone before you explode. Congratulations. Have fun!”

“Have fun?” Han Myungoh, of all people, says incredulously. “You just murdered–”

“Shit, I just killed a guy, and you still want me to sit through a lecture?” Kim Namwoon says. “You think I’m in the mood for that? What lesson are you going to try to teach me, huh? Don’t kill anyone? You’re kind of late for that, aren’t you? Also, isn’t that kind of hypocritical? Aren’t you going to need to do the same thing in, like, fifteen minutes? But hey, I could be wrong! Maybe you’re the kind of person who wants to lie down and die, is that it?”

Silence. Kim Dokja can practically hear everyone thinking: ah, this high school student hadn’t said anything wrong, exactly, had he? He was only restating the reality of the scenario clock ticking down before them. Did you really care more about a stranger’s life than your own?

The passengers back away from each other, eying each other suspiciously, assessingly. Was it really that hard, just to kill the person next to you?

“Now,” Kim Namwoon continues. “I’m going to sit in a corner and think about what I’ve done. Carry on with whatever you’re doing, you don’t need my input. You’ve got a good fifteen minutes, have a nice long think about it.” He bows, his military knife catching the light and sending off a small arc of blood like a message: I have a weapon, find an easier target.

Next to Kim Dokja, Yoo Sangah presses her lips together. “Is this really what we have to do?” she says, almost under her breath. “We really need to kill another person?”

“...No,” Kim Dokja says. “There’s another way.”

…

“Hey, what’s up, Ahjussi?” Kim Namwoon says, voice manic as Kim Dokja approaches him. “You look like you want to kill me. Are you going to try? It’s just, I might fight back if you do? I want to live, after all.”

“...You didn’t have to do that.”

“Do what? You mean, kill that guy?” Kim Namwoon jerks his chin in the direction of the corpse he left only a meter or so away. “Didn’t I, though? Tell me, how many grasshoppers were in that butterfly net? Was there one per passenger?”

“...”

Kim Namwoon laughs raggedly. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re really giving a lot of people false hope, aren’t you, Ahjussi? You think that’s fun to watch? Wow, isn’t that kind of messed up of you?”

He’s smiling broadly, manically, but his body language is defensive, eyes narrowed and wary. It’s as if he really thinks Kim Dokja is a threat – like he thinks Kim Dokja’s the one who’s going to snap and kill him at any second.

Kim Dokja thought of the Kim Namwoon from the novel. When Yoo Joonghyuk had found Kim Namwoon, it hadn’t been until the end of the scenario. This part of the plot, then, was undocumented. Had it always played out like this?

Kim Dokja always thought he would sound a little more… insane. Was that a later development?

#omniscient reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #kim dokja #kim namwoon #knw #kdj #normal orv fan knw #my writing #mine #everything

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago

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journey + the jk bday journey snippet was so gooddd!! makes me wonder what they did for namjoon's bday hmmmmmmm....

(ps. going through a tough time rn and ur work helps makes life a lil less sad 🥺)

(pss. journey hobi ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, )

(I hope you had fun after reading such ridiculousness XD enjoy this silly drabble about Namjoon's birthday lol keep your head up <3)

warnings: sexually suggestive language, horny crackhead energy pairing(s): ot7 x reader 'journey' au aka fuckbuddies with non-idol!BTS

“If we get a big enough cake, I can pop out of it–”

“The logistics of your idea,” Min Yoongi interrupted you, poking the side of your head. “Are nuts, not to mention expensive.”

“Hah, you really are No-Fun Man, Yoongi,” you shot back, prodding him and his pastel pink head. He simply sat there and took it with a rather annoyed frown.

“We could surprise him again like we surprised Jungkook,” Jung Hoseok interrupted brightly, his cheerful tone nearly as vibrant as his platinum white-blond hair.

You waved a hand, shaking your head. “It’s too obvious, especially since that was less than two weeks ago. I can’t be naked every single time you guys have a birthday.” Well, you would be…. Eventually. “At least not at the start, I mean…”

Park Jimin popped his black-haired head up from behind the sofa, giving you a warm back hug and bouncing your tits through your shirt. “Why not? Sounds fun.”

“Well, if you think about it, when Seokjin's and Taehyung’s birthdays roll around, I’m gonna freeze to death. Frostbitten titties and ass are not on my sex bingo card, sorry Jimin.”

Jimin pouted, squeezing your breasts through your bra.

Kim Taehyung, who currently was sitting beside you with his hand rubbing his chin, hummed thoughtfully, fingers skimming his lips. “We should do something special. Something he wouldn’t expect, because he’s always taking good care of us,” he pondered in his deep baritone voice, running a hand through his dark brown hair.

“Somebody has to take care of you guys.”

You all stared at Kim Seokjin and his scoff.

“Hyung, you should be taking care of us. You’re the oldest.”

“I do! You guys are crazy! You’re going to make me wrinkle prematurely at this rate! Do you see this moneymaker? I must remain pristine to bring continued joy to this world!”

“You’re the craziest one, Seokjin!” you cackled as he chucked a pillow at you. It was swiftly punched back by the man between your legs.

Sitting between your legs.

Not that you wouldn’t rather him be doing something else between your legs–

“What if we make Namjoon-hyung a meal?” Jeon Jungkook suggested, leaning his shoulder and arm on your thigh. You looked down at him and his bright brown eyes were gazing back up at you, black hair grazing his silver eyebrow piercing and a small smile on his pink lips. You almost wanted to kiss him right then. Ugh, he had such lovely, kissable lips.

Would be very distressing if Jungkook got a lip piercing.

“A meal?” you echoed airily, lost in his beautiful eyes.

“Hyung and I are the only ones who can cook,” Yoongi snorted, shaking his head. “That’s just making us do it on our own.”

You frowned at his words, breaking your gaze with Jungkook, getting back to the conversation. “That’s not true. I can cook.”

All six turned to look at you.

“What? Just because I can suck dick like a boss and take it in the ass with minimal warmup doesn’t mean I can’t cook! I can make all kinds of stuff!”

Taehyung raised a hand, startled. “Hold on. What?”

“She can take it in the ass real well,” Hoseok agreed, nodding.

“Ah, yeah, it’s pretty impressive,” Yoongi agreed, high-fiving him.

“Hyung?!”

“Did I hear that correctly, what the fu–?”

You went on to list the all the dishes you were proud of, too busy thinking to across the sudden commotion around you. “And I can stir-fry vegetables and perfect medium-rare steak and I can make jajangmyeon from scratch and it’s damn good, at least Seokjin said so last time I made it–”

“You made hyung a meal?” Jimin shrieked. “What about us?!”

“But he always eats food so deliciously–”

mmm, so, yeah, bickering while making a grand meal for Kim Namjoon that probably ultimately ended with the maknae line putting up all the colorful decorations and the hyung line doing most of the culinary labor and you getting fondled while cooking at the stove...

Namjoon probably came back to a wonderful homemade dinner, yummy cake, and horny chaos, typical, smh

(yeah, 'journey' Hobi *wiggles eyebrows* XD)

drabbles masterpost | masterpost

#bts fluff #ot7 x reader #bts x reader #bts x you

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let-them-read-fics · 4 years ago

Text

Yours Truly (Pt. 1)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: ~ Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Angst, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! I finally have a few days off, so we're back to our (semi) regularly scheduled programming with this fic! I really hope you enjoy it; lmk what you think :)

PS ~ Once again, I had to split it into two parts to appease the Tumblr Overlords.

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 2 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

1.) A Day In Class

Where does true beauty come from?

Is it strictly based in someone's DNA, rooted entirely in the attractiveness of their features? Or is deeper than that; does it extend from their soul? The very essence of stardust and personality that makes them them? Is it in how they interact with others? How they carry themselves?

You, being the wannabe philosopher that you are, love hearing people's answers to those questions. Every response is unique in its own way, altered depending on the person asked, and you find that to be one of humanity's most wonderful qualities. Like snowflakes, we're all different; as such is our definition of beauty. It lies in the eye of the beholder, subjective in its nature, and you find that comforting. Just think: if 99% of the world's population found you unattractive, 78,000,000 would beg to differ.

Though, for one person, you're sure those rules don't apply. She's objectively beautiful, and no one even attempts to pretend otherwise.

Who, you may ask? Kim Jisoo, of course -- head of your school's student council, resident girl next door, and keeper of your heart. She's poised in every way, and refined to the point that you question if you're even deserving of knowing her. Humor and kindness radiate from her no matter where she goes, so it's really no surprise that so many people love her.

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to look at your best friend. "Yo, Y/N. What did you get for number 32?" Jeong asks from his seat in the row directly behind you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Your history professor likely wouldn't take kindly to being interrupted during his lecture, so you choose to show him your answer instead of responding out loud.

Jeong thanks you and continues to work on the activity you finished nearly 15 minutes ago, leaving you to half-heartedly listen to your professor. You're a good student, but even you have a limit to how much monotonous speaking you can handle in one sitting. As his words drone on, you roll your neck -- intending for the action to relieve some of the tension in your aching muscles; you're in for a surprise, however, when you lock eyes with none other than Jisoo herself. She offers a warm smile and wave, and the innocent actions send swarms of butterflies to take flight in your stomach. After sitting there for a moment, dumbstruck by her beauty, you snap to and return the gesture, making her giggle quietly.

Huh. So that's what angels sound like, then.

She turns back to her work after a minute, flipping the page every so often as she follows along with the lesson. You take note of how her eyes dart across the materials laid out on her desk, how her fingers mindlessly flirt with the edge of her sleeve in contemplation when she gets to a question that stumps her.

Never have you ever found yourself in such inner turmoil before. The sight before you begs to be seen -- to be admired -- but class continues on. As much as you try to fight it, your resolve eventually crumbles; foreign concepts now falling on fully deaf ears, you allow yourself to be entranced.

2.) Out In The Square

A Few Hours Later

Throngs of people stretch out before you, everyone making their way to various parts of campus as the blazingly hot sun beats down on them. Some run like their lives depend on it -- likely having overslept or missed campus transit -- while others take their time, catching up with friends and gossiping all the while. The soft pfft of sprinklers set up across the sections of lawn around you can be heard, going off every so often, and occasionally they're followed by the shouts of some unfortunate people getting soaked.

"You're so lucky, Y/N," Jeong groans from behind you. A grimace sits on his face as he flips through the pages of his Trigonometry book, looking for the reference graphs again. "No more classes for the rest of the week and you don't have any more assignments to finish? Remind me again how to become a teacher's pet, please." You roll your eyes with an amused smile, leaning back on your elbows to talk to him.

"I'm not a teacher's pet, Jeong. I just do my work on time instead of partying every night." He picks up a leftover piece of bread from the picnic basket that sits to his right and tosses it at you in retaliation to your little remark.

"I don't care what you say, those parties are always epic. One of these days I'll convince you to come along."

You shake your head, knowing there's no way you'd willingly attend one of them. From his stories, all those "epic" nights consist of is ridiculously drunken beer pong, sweaty people doing jello shots, and regrets.

"Not in a million years, loser." You say adamantly, not letting him trick himself into believing he's capable of swaying you.

With one last muttered phrase of, "we'll see about that," he returns to his studies, and you turn your attention elsewhere.

Scattered light filters in through the leaves of the tree you're sitting under, wrapping you in a blanket of warmth as your eyes scan across the crowd again. The sight brings to mind an idea that always fascinates you: everyone you meet is busy creating their own stories, writing and rewriting new possibilities and endings for themselves with each new choice they make. You can hear snippets of their conversations -- see instances of some having their best days while others are living through their worst -- and it really puts things into perspective. Although we may appear as side characters in those books of life that others are writing for themselves, we have no idea what they're going through at any given moment. So, you believe, that makes it all the more important to leave a positive impact on them; whether it be a kind smile, holding the door, or even a simple compliment, you're determined to have your legacy be one rooted in kindness.

Speaking of kindness in human form…

There she is, you think to yourself, feeling that all too familiar pitter patter of your heart pick up. Jisoo exits Building C, where her latest lecture just ended, and rushes down the stairs with her books in her arms. She's studying to become an actress, as far as you know, and you can't help but smile at the thought; she'll make an amazing star someday.

You watch as she meets up with 3 other girls, whom you immediately recognize as Lisa, Rosé, and Jennie, and they eagerly bounce their way over to the refreshment truck that one of your school's clubs had been so considerate to hire. It's the perfect day for a cold treat, after all.

Jisoo's dark hair flows in the gentle breeze that rolls in, looking like silk as it rides the currents. She's gorgeous in every way, and you can't help but be smitten; besides, it's not like you're not alone in your pining. She practically has the entire student body wrapped around her finger.

"Y/N, don't forget to blink. You're staring pretty hard," Yuqi says, raising up onto her elbow beside Jeong. He laughs with her, but his eyes remain glued to the notebook paper he's scribbling his work onto.

Your eyes dart away following her statement, and you know you've been caught. "I thought you were asleep," you bite back, attempting to hide the blush of embarrassment that's quickly flooding to your cheeks.

"I was, but I guess my intuition as your best friend woke me up. It's my mission in life to tease you."

"So I've gathered," you sarcastically smile at each other, making stupid faces like always.

"You love me," she flips her hair over her shoulder, appearing self-assured with the smirk that tugs at her lips.

"Do I though? I don't know sometimes..." she socks you in the arm, making you chuckle.

"All jokes, babe. Don't pout," you pinch her cheek until she grins, and then she begins telling you all about the dream she just had.

----

Jisoo leads her gang over to one of the nearby tables, making sure to choose her seat strategically. A special someone caught her attention earlier, as they have from the moment she first laid eyes on them months ago, and she hasn't been able to fight the urge to admire them. She watches as they laugh along with something their friend said, tilting their head back as the cheerful noise rings out. She finds herself smiling along, imagining what it would be like to make them laugh like that; it's a uniquely wonderful sound, and she can't help but adore it.

They lean across the blanket they're sitting on and dig through a picnic basket, retrieving what seems to be a sandwich packaged up in plastic wrap. One of their friends exaggeratedly thanks them, tackling them to the ground in a messy hug with a shout of gratitude that even Jisoo can hear from across the square.

"Earth to Jisoo!" Jennie says, raising her voice slightly as she snaps her fingers in front of the unnie. The former jolts back to attention with a little jump, clearing her throat to gather her thoughts.

"You know, you could always go talk to him. I've heard he's sweet." She tells the other girl, noticing the look of longing that's befallen her features.

"Yeah, Joy has Art with him on Thursdays. I think his name's Jeong or something like that." Lisa butts in before taking another lick of her ice cream.

Despite being so smart, the girls are really oblivious sometimes; Jisoo wasn't looking at him at all. She was looking at you.

She doesn't know if now is the right time to tell them that, though. She hasn't officially come out to them, but she isn't afraid that they won't accept her -- she just wants that moment to be special, and sweating in the middle of the campus square doesn't seem like the golden opportunity that she's been hoping for.

"Just eat your treats, knuckleheads." She concludes, taking a spoonful of the shaved ice she opted for instead of ice cream. The truck had multiple types of treats, with all kinds of different toppings and flavorings lining the walls.

"Okay…" Rosé trails off before adding, "but don't say we didn't try to help when you start wishing you had said something later." Jisoo uses her spoon to lower the one that Rosie had raised accusingly at her, reassuring the girl that she'd be fine.

She knows it's a lie, though; as the 4 of them later toss their trash in the bins and make their way to the student council room, Jisoo sneaks a last wistful glance at you, wishing she would've had the courage to start a conversation.

3.) One Step Closer

Friday, 1:34 PM -- A Few Days Later

"Hey, Minji. How many do we have today?" You wave at what kids have already been dropped off, your presence making their little faces light up with joy.

Your coworker responds from across the room, tossing a couple stray toys into their labeled baskets to keep the space tidy. "10 or so, I think. The last ones should be arriving soon." You nod and take off your coat, setting your things in one of the small cubbies against the wall just beyond the entrance.

"Y/N!" A small voice shouts from behind the counter, hidden from view. You smile deeply when you realize who it is, and you quickly dart around the corner to say hello. His chubby hands cover his mouth, but they do little in hiding his adorable grin. "Seungbum! How's my little munchkin?!" He squeals and runs into your arms, giggling loudly when you pick him up and spin him around. His dark hair sways from side to side with the movement, the slight waves sticking out in random places. A few seconds later, he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls back to look at you, settling into your secure hold.

"Can we play when Jia gets here? I promised her I'd show her the new trick I learned, but I wanna show you, too."

You smile at the sweet sentiment. "Of course, buddy. As long as you eat well at snack time, we can play however much you want." You raise an eyebrow at him, showing your authority, before saying, "I saw you put your veggies in your pocket last time and skip to dessert, so it'd better not happen again." He lowers his head after realizing he had been caught, and a hint of redness flushes his cheeks in embarrassment.

"Okay Y/N-yah."

You tickle him to make sure he knows you aren't mad at him, and soon he's laughing again. "Now, go wash your hands and get settled at the table, please."

"Yes ma'am." His tiny sneakers squeak against the floor as he races off towards one of the lowered sinks that borders the kitchen wall, and you shake your head with a smile.

Not even a second later, you feel a soft tug at your pant leg, and you turn around to find the source.

A head of brilliantly auburn hair is the first thing you see, and its shade compliments the child's outfit perfectly. "Hi sweetheart. Are you new?" You squat down to the young girl's level, noting how she shyly toys with her fingers as they rest in front of her. She nods, the movement so subtle that you almost don't notice it.

"My name's Y/N, and that awesome lady over there," you lean closer to her and point towards your coworker, "...is Minji. You can stay with us today, or you can play with the others, okay?" She nods again, her mannerisms letting you know just how shy she really is. Gently taking one of her hands, you hold it and look at her with a reassuring smile, asking, "Will you tell me your name?"

"I'm Aera." She meekly says, only maintaining eye contact for a second or two.

"That's a beautiful name," you compliment, seeing progress as she lightly smiles at your words. "And I love your bow," you add, touching the delicate material that rests near her ear, nestled into her straight locks. It has cherry blossoms and butterflies on it, all vibrant and neatly colored.

"Thank you, I picked it out myself." She perks up a bit now, raising her head to look at you with a proud smile. "Wow, really?" You put on an impressed expression, wanting to boost her confidence even more. "You'll have to help me choose one the next time I go shopping, then. You're great at it." The praise makes her chuckle, and her eyes squint into soft crescents in the process.

After stealing a glance at the table where everyone else has already gathered, you realize that they're waiting on you to start. "Alright, Aera, it's time to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to sit with me, or are you ready to be with the others?" You tilt your head to the side, asking the question softly so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Having had this job for a while, you've gotten the hang of adjusting your behavior to put them at ease.

"With you," she says, growing a little timid again at the idea of mingling with them yet. "That's perfectly fine." You reassure her, smiling one more time before standing and leading her to the room. Her hand remains clutched in yours, wiggling around slightly from the height difference as she looks around.

"Who's ready for some snacks?" Minji asks the group, laughing when they all raise their hands and get excited. Their high pitched voices carry around the room as they discuss what foods they want to trade with each other, and soon everyone is happily munching away. You rub Aera's back sweetly as she eats some cucumber sticks, swinging her feet through the air beneath the short chair you retrieved from the table for her. She looks up into your eyes with a smile, melting your heart with the cuteness of her full cheeks. You squish them before turning away, feeling your 6th sense kick in as you scan your eyes across the rest of the group.

"Seungbum…" you warn, catching the way he's mischievously eyeing the carrots laid out before him on the table. He pokes at one of them and sighs, eventually giving in as he takes a hesitant bite of it. With some more convincing, he finishes the rest of the pack and gets started on his dessert.

----

Honestly, you feel sorry for the birds outside.

They must have had hundreds of mini heart attacks upon hearing the somehow earth-shattering roar of the 10 young kids, all blasting out the side door towards the playground. Some of them automatically race towards the swings or slides, while others approach the basket of toys and sports equipment. Aera, however, hangs back, her entire hand wrapped around just a few of your fingers. "What do you wanna do?" She shrugs, looking around at the different activities that the others are already starting.

"I can push you on the swings, or we could race. There're some monkey bars and a merry-go-round, too, that nobody's using right now." You suggest, hoping to catch her interest with one of them. Her attention snaps up to you at that last option, and she dramatically drops her jaw. "Did you say merry-go-round?" You nod with an amused grin, laughing when she lets out a cute noise of joy. After pointing her in the direction of it, she dashes off ahead of you and makes her way to it, only stopping to make sure you're still coming with her once she gets there.

"Hold on tight, little one." You advise, cheering when she giggles in anticipation. Her chuckles fill the airwaves as you spin the bar around, making sure not to pull too hard and make her too dizzy. You were once a kid, too, though, so you make it a point to add some serious speed every now and then to keep her entertained and happy. You remember playing on these all day when you were her age.

---

"Auntie!" Aera shrieks, excitedly thundering towards the fence that borders the playground. You finish cheering Seungbum on after watching his trick, grinning as he tries to flirt with Jia; she looks impressed. You turn around at Aera's commotion, feeling your eyes practically pop out of your head at who you see standing on the other side.

"How was your day, my love?" Jisoo asks sweetly, leaning over the metal divider to run a hand through her niece's hair lovingly. She still hasn't noticed your presence, and for that you don't know if you're relieved or saddened. Watching her interact with the young girl is quite adorable, though, and you're distracted from your personal gay panic for the time being.

"I've had so much fun. And Y/N-yah said she likes my hair clip! I told you this one was prettier than the one with just trees on it!" Aera says smugly, happy to have her decision pay off and prove her aunt wrong. Jisoo tenses up, not expecting to hear your name right now. Seeing that this is her first time picking Aera up, she had no idea you work at the daycare; though she'd be lying to say that it comes as a surprise -- you're a very warm person, so it's no wonder that you're good with kids.

As per Aera's request, you walk across the playground and join her in front of Jisoo. Now it's your turn to be shy; you sneak a glance at the student council president and immediately feel your cheeks heat up, so you busy yourself by patting Aera on the head. She hugs your leg and settles against your side, causing Jisoo to raise her eyebrows. "I'm impressed, Y/N. She usually doesn't open up to new people very easily."

"Ah, I'm surprised that such a cool girl like her wanted to hang out with me." You tease, tickling her side lightly when she hides behind the material of your shirt. "Do you want to come in and see what she drew today? She's definitely skilled." You suggest, trying not to sound too hopeful as you muster up the courage to look at Jisoo again. She's already smiling at you, a soft sort of adoration shining in her eyes as they rake over your features. She accepts your offer, and you walk over to the gate to let her in. Aera demands that you carry her, so you scoop her up into your arms as you make your way back into the daycare center. Her head sits on your shoulder, and you can feel her playfully making faces at Jisoo the entire way; her tiny frame jolts with each loud giggle she lets out, and the sound makes you smile.

---

"Yeah, she was my sidekick for the day." You respond to Jisoo, continuing your conversation as you watch Aera remove her drawing from the cork board that she taped it to earlier. Displaying the kids' artwork is something that you advocated for when you first began working here, and you're so glad you did; they always get excited to share their works.

"She's a lucky girl, then." She says, doing her best to ignore the feeling of your eyes on her. Focusing on anything other than you is already hard enough for her, but she knows there'd be no hope left if she gives in now.

"Y/N helped me draw this. She doodled Dalgom in the corner," Aera cheerily says, breaking the slight tension in the air as she approaches the table. Most of the other kids have already been picked up, and Minji's watching the handful that haven't.

"It's not very good," you cringe, scratching the back of your neck. You've seen him a few times since the beginning of the year, whether it be on walks across campus with Jisoo, or perched on her desk during "bring your pet to class" day.

"It's adorable; Dalgomie will be honored when I show it to him." Jisoo says with a nod, shutting down your insecurities within a second. You fail to contain the laugh that slips past your lips, disbelief present in your voice as you ask, "You're going to show him?" She looks at you like you have 3 heads. "It would be a disgrace not to."

With a breathy chuckle, you say, "You're so strange. I like it, though."

Jisoo smiles at that, and the three of you discuss all of the fun things you did that day. Jisoo tells you about the classes she had to sit through, and even how she stepped in gum and had to borrow a pair of Rosé's shoes.

---

All good things must come to an end, though, and after about half an hour of talking, it was time to say goodbye.

You lead them out the door and down the sidewalk as per Aera's request, yet again (that child is basically a mini dictator at this point, but she's cute so she gets a free pass). As she rustles around her bag in search of her keys, Jisoo accidentally knocks her earbud case out, sending it tumbling to the ground. "Oh! Here, I'll grab it for you." You kindly offer, stepping past her to retrieve it from the grass. She takes it from you with a word of gratitude uttered in that angelic voice of hers, and you begin your goodbyes upon hearing Minji call your name.

"I'll see you around, Jisoo. And Aera, I expect to see you next week." You wiggle a finger at the little girl, donning a shocked expression when she pretends to bite it. "Can't you tell we're related?" Jisoo asks with a smile, ruffling her niece's hair. "The resemblance is uncanny," you laugh, watching as both of them join in with you.

"Y/N, come on!" Minji whines, sounding like a toddler herself. You initially go to brush off her request in order to spend a few more seconds with the two of them, but when she stands in the doorway, entering your line of sight, you see why she's so desperate for your help -- two of the children still waiting on their parents are climbing on her, about to knock her over at any second. Her face is beet red from the effort she's exerting, and her hair is mussed wildly.

"Oh shhh---" you start, catching yourself when Jisoo widens her eyes at you and goes to cover Aera's ears, "--shiitake mushrooms!" You finish with a nervous smile, gaining a stunned laugh from your crush. "Bye girls; gotta go. I'm on my way, Minji!" You call out like a superhero, running to her aid as fast as your legs will carry you.

Jisoo watches you wrangle one of the squirmy kids off of her and initiate a tickle fight to distract him and give Minji time to deal with the other one. She smiles like a dork at your actions, realizing she would be content with watching you all day. You're a natural with them, and seeing you in action is something she wishes she had the chance to do more often. With that, she turns around and picks Aera up; the youngster nuzzles into her embrace, lazily slumping onto her after having such a tiring day. As Jisoo goes to take a step forward, she notices something on the ground: a piece of paper. It's been folded neatly many times, and it reminds her of the notes she would always pass to her friends back in elementary school. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she can't resist the urge to pick it up.

"To The Girl Who'll Never Know I Love Her"

Her eyes scan across the words and she unfolds the note, making sure to keep a steady grip on Aera with her other arm. An almost unnoticeable signature is scribbled in the bottom corner, and she nearly scares Aera by squealing in pleasant surprise.

It's your name, curled into the letters that are so uniquely yours; the paper must've fallen out of your pocket when you bent down to get her case earlier.

After buckling her niece into her car seat and climbing into the driver's seat, Jisoo unfolds the note again and begins reading. She's like a giddy kid all over again, and part of her feels bad for giving into temptation. She reasons with herself by promising to give it back to you the next time she sees you, and that manages to rid her conscience of some of the guilt she feels. For now, though, she's eager to see what it contains.

The first thing to catch her eye is a poem written neatly underneath a doodle of a rabbit, likely serving as some sort of label. Everyone on campus knows of her nickname and resemblance to rabbits, and she can't help but hope that your drawing wasn't simply a coincidence.

Poison, is what you are

A bittersweet mix, intoxicatingly beautiful

For one glance from you

Steals every breath I had so foolishly believed was mine to take

For one smile from you

Sends me reeling, falling all over again

She nearly swoons at the words, rereading them multiple times over and imagining you saying them to her. She wonders how the syllables would fall from your lips, which ones you'd stress to alter the meaning into whatever you imagined when you wrote them. Whether or not they're written for her, she may never know; all she's aware of right now is how they make her feel, and how that feeling is one that she never wants to stop experiencing.

4.) Practice Makes Perfect

2 Weeks, 3 Exams, and 1 Mental Breakdown Later

"Coming!" You call out, using all of your strength to push your rolling chair away from your desk and across the room towards the door.

"Y/N L/N, at your service," you say, doing a little bow in your seat. Upon looking up to see who's in front of you, your eyes lock with the same girl who's been living in your mind rent free ever since you met her.

"Jisoo!" You announce a little louder than intended, scrambling up into a standing position before kicking the chair backwards. You wince when it collides with something behind you, filling the room with noise as a few of your knick knacks clatter to the floor. Jisoo has to fight to contain the smile on her lips, pursing them as she looks towards the ground so as to not embarrass you.

It's too late though -- you've already made a fool of yourself, and right in front of your crush, no less.

"What can I do for you?" You ask, finally relaxing your face from its previously scrunched up position.

"Are you busy right now? I have a favor to ask and you might be the only person who can help me out." Her eyebrows raise inquisitively at you, quirking up in that special way they always do when she's focusing in class.

She could ask you to do just about anything, and you'd be agreeing without hesitation; no questions asked.

"N-no, just doing a little studying is all. How can I help?" You'd normally curse yourself for sounding so shy, but she looks especially gorgeous tonight and you can't even blame yourself for it. The fluorescent bulbs of the dorm's hallway fail to even put a dent in the glow she's radiating, and that's no small feat -- those horrible little things are usually capable of making anyone look bad, and yet, once again, Jisoo manages to break the mold.

"Mrs. Choi assigned a rehearsal for me tonight, and I need a peer to score how well I do. I trust you to do it." She says, having no idea how much her words are affecting you.

Review portions of the semester are crucial to every major's success, but arguably none so much as those studying to be actors. The peer and admin reviews that they receive account for a large chunk of their grade, so you can imagine how nerve-racking it would be to put that kind of power in someone else's hands. You're touched that she trusts you with it.

"I'd love to help, Jisoo. Just curious, though: why don't you have one of the girls help? They probably know more about it than me, after all." Everyone knows how close JenChuLiChaeng are, so her decision to choose you is genuinely intriguing.

Shit. For some reason, Jisoo hadn't anticipated that you'd ask that question. The thought had never crossed her mind earlier, when she was preoccupied with convincing herself to come in the first place, so she has to think something up on the fly.

"They're all busy with work. Couldn't afford to lose any precious cramming time, you know?" She says, a hint of nervousness behind the small laugh she lets out. It's uncharacteristic for her, considering she's usually so confident all the time, but you think it's adorable.

"Ryujin's the same way," you tease, turning your head to look at your roommate. She's across the room on her bed, reading through her book as she holds her middle finger up to let you know she heard your comment. "What a sweetie," you coo, blowing a kiss at her that makes her roll her eyes and smile despite herself. She pretends to be hardcore, but after spending the past few months with her you've discovered that she's actually the human embodiment of a cinnamon roll.

"Well," you say, turning back to Jisoo, "when do you have to start?"

She pulls her sleeve back to glance at her watch before returning her gaze to you. "Gotta be back at the dorm in 10 minutes."

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the inner honor student in you already panicking. "10 minutes?! It's all the way across campus, Jisoo!"

She laughs at you now, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "I'm kidding; we still have a couple hours. You should've seen your face, though. Priceless."

"That's no way to treat someone who practically has your grade resting in their hands." You say smugly, a little smirk playing on your lips when her jaw drops dramatically.

"You wouldn't dare," she narrows her eyes, referencing the notion that you might give her bad marks because of that little prank.

"Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps I'll be merciful if you take me to get something to eat first."

"Food as a peace offering? Alright, I can do that."

You smile, doing a dorky little cheer at that. "Okay, I'll be right out; just give me a second to make myself look presentable."

Jisoo accepts your words with a curt nod, but she wants to tell you that you already look more than presentable. When you first opened the door earlier and she saw you in your study glasses, she couldn't help but smile like a fool; you're adorable, especially to her, and she wishes you could see that.

A couple minutes later you exit your dorm and find her leaned up against the hallway wall, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Is she nervous?

"So, where would you like to go?" You ask, pulling the thin material of your jacket over your shoulders. It's lightweight -- seeing as how the weather doesn't call for a large one -- and it feels soft against your skin.

As the two of you fall into step with each other, she responds, "It's up to you, princess. Since I'm at your mercy and all." Her smirk is visible in your peripheral.

The nickname causes your heart to flutter in your chest, thudding around even harder than it had before. "U-uh, how about the noodle place?" You suggest, trying not to cringe at the stutter in your voice. You've heard that she likes chicken and ramen, and that shop is known as the best restaurant on campus for it.

"110%. You know me so well," she says dreamily, batting her eyelashes at you with a silly smile.

"Called it," you retort, brushing your shoulder off nonchalantly. "Now come on, I'm hungry and ready to spend all of your money." Her hand slips into yours when you reach down for it, almost instinctively, feeling like it was meant to be there all along, and you tug her down the hallway towards the elevator.

----

"I know! If Mr. Johnson assigns another project like that then I'll politely be jumping out a window."

Jisoo laughs at how animated you are, even having to stop chewing her mouthful of food momentarily to make sure she doesn't choke. She really loves hanging out with you; you make everything fun, and all of the stress she feels on a daily basis seems to vanish into thin air.

"I did pretty bad on that last one," Jisoo adds, grimacing as she remembers her score.

"You literally got a 93 out of 100, shut up." You shake your head with an amused smile, reaching across the table to snatch a piece of gimbap from her plate.

"Hey--" she goes to yell at you, but her phone vibrates against the table, successfully stopping her.

"Hello?" She answers, silently starting a chopstick war with you when you reach for another piece. When the person on the other end begins talking, she stops playing in order to concentrate on what they're saying.

"Did she cancel?" She asks, furrowing her brow as her lips form into a natural pout. She sighs, rubbing her temple gently as the conversation continues. "Okay, I'm out with a friend right now, but you can go ahead and head that way. We'll meet you there. Alright, love you, too. Bye."

You raise an eyebrow, wordlessly requesting info about what new plan you're being involved in. "That was my brother; the babysitter cancelled on them last minute, so we have to watch Aera for a few hours." Jisoo loves her niece dearly, but she can't deny that she wanted to spend the evening alone with you. She's afraid the little girl will steal all of your attention away, as childish as that may seem.

"You're such a good person," you compliment, only to frown when she brushes off your words. "I mean it, Jisoo. You always take care of everybody around you; it's admirable. Now take the compliment or I'll team up with Aera later and tease you."

She rolls her eyes with a smile, saying, "You're gonna do that regardless."

"That's not the point," you pout, stomping your foot on the ground lightly.

"Fine; tis I, Jisoo, the greatest person in all of existence. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic." You beam at her, returning back to your cheery self. "I'll go grab some boxes for us, okay?" She nods, and you scurry off on your mission.

----

Back At Jisoo's Dorm

Images flash across the large, flatscreen TV mounted to the wall across from you, displaying scenes of whatever cartoon the network decided to air right now. Aera isn't being picky; she's content with sitting in your lap, mindlessly fidgeting with the necklace that loosely dangles from your neck as she remains entranced by the screen. Your arms are around her to make her feel secure, and her small frame racks against you with every sweet giggle she lets out anytime a new joke is told by one of her favorite characters.

Jisoo observes from the kitchen, leaning back against the countertop to settle in while she waits for Aera's favorite snack to heat up. She watches as you point to various things on the TV, having her name the ones she knows and teaching her others that she doesn't.

She loves seeing you like this. You're beaming in that special way that sets her heart on fire, and the flames are only fanned when you turn to look at her. Somehow, the sight reminds her of the first time she met you:

It was orientation week -- the beginning of the school year -- and you were taking a tour around campus with some of your friends. You were lucky to have them; you'd only kept in contact with a handful of people from high school, knowing full well that most of those relationships were only rooted in superficiality, never meant to last. But this motley crew was different; they saw you for you, and all of you genuinely enjoyed each other's company. It didn't have the same air of awkward tension as the fake friendships had -- this was real and honest, and you thanked your lucky stars for them on the daily.

All of you had managed to get into your dream schools, and the reality was bittersweet; you'd all be moving away from each other and beginning your own lives, having less and less time for each other in the process. You were beyond proud of them, and yourself, for that matter, but it still hurt to think that they wouldn't be just a few blocks away anymore. That you couldn't just swing by their house to go on a late night drive through the city like you used to. As exciting as your new experiences were bound to be, part of you was terrified; your life up until now had been fairly safe, creating a little security blanket to protect you from all that life had in store, but now you were on your own and the idea was a bit daunting. The memories you made together comforted you, though, and kept the sadness at bay.

"Dude, this place is sick. How did you manage to make it in again?"

"Because she's smart, dumbass. We should be asking you that question."

"Ouch, (Friend's Name), that hurt."

"Do you still have those chips from earlier? I'm starving over here."

"Yeah, here, they're in my bag."

Pockets of separate conversations can be heard from behind you, all of your friends chatting away while you walk ahead of them, map and schedule in hand. The campus is fairly large, and with so many buildings and classrooms it's easy to get confused. You continue walking, running a finger along the map to trace the path you intend to take towards the Help Center.

In your preoccupied state, you don't even realize that you're headed straight for a trash can that sits on the sidewalk, mere seconds away from colliding with it.

A passerby notices just in the nick of time, reaching an arm out in front of you to prevent the accident with a noise of warning. You tense up, not expecting the sudden interruption, and look up into the eyes of your savior. Her dark orbs peer back at you, an innocent gleam in them when she sees your lips slowly tug into a smile.

She mirrors your actions, neither of you saying anything yet. You couldn't utter a word even if you wanted to; her beauty leaves you speechless.

"That was close," she says quietly, only to you. Your friends have almost caught up with you now, still busy with their own conversations, though they'll tease you once they see a gorgeous stranger's arm wrapped around you.

"Thank you," you breathe out, clearing your throat as you take a step away from her.

"Ooh, who's this, Y/N?" One of your friends coos, garnering a chorus of childish "oohs" and kissy noises from the others. Why are they so obnoxious?

You apologetically glance at the girl one more time before turning around to respond to them, but she speaks up before you can.

"Kim Jisoo." She introduces, facing them with a wide smile. It's easy to see that she's done this before; her tone is pleasant and light, not even a hint of hesitancy in it. She's used to being the center of attention; you can tell by the way she carries herself and commands the space.

"I see you guys are taking a tour, right?" She looks between all of you, though her eyes linger on you for a second too long to be brushed off as 'just friendly'.

You nod, saying, "I can't find my last class. It's a Gen Ed one; World History, room 435. The map says it's in Complex D, but the room was vacant when we went by."

She listens intently, paying attention to your every word. "They must've handed out the old maps by accident, then. Mr. Johnson had to move rooms to accommodate larger class sizes. When do you have him?"

You unfold your schedule again, gazing down at the slightly crumpled sheet until your eyes find their target. "Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1PM."

Upon registering what you said, Jisoo does her best to contain the grin that threatens to spread across her face. "Ah, same as me! I can take you to the room, if you'd like. That way you can find it next week." She offers, pleased by the fact that she'll be seeing you more often. Your cute mannerisms have already thrown her for a loop, and she wants to get to know you better.

"That would be great." You let out a relieved laugh, releasing the worry you felt; tours are meant to end within 20 minutes or so, and before Jisoo came you were afraid you'd never find your last class. She's saving the day again, it seems.

"Great, follow me," she smiles warmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to turn you in the right direction. When you give your friends one last glance over your shoulder, you find them giving you thumbs up with smirks on their faces. One of them puckers their lips at you, and you stick your tongue out in return.

You're not sure what they'll end up doing while you finish your tour, though it'll likely involve either skating or eating fast food. They have each other to keep themselves entertained, so you're not worried about them in the slightest. You make a mental note to text them when you're done to meet up again.

Jisoo smiles like an idiot when she realizes what's happening behind her, failing miserably to hide it when you spin back around and give your full attention to her.

"What?" You ask, leaning in closer to her to nudge her shoulder when she looks away, blushing.

"Nothing," she shakes her head, only to be prompted by you again. "You're just cute, is all."

You have to use all your power to hold back the squeal you want to let out at hearing that. Kim Jisoo, as you now know her to be, thinks you're cute? You must be dreaming.

"That's funny, I don't remember turning into a mirror."

"Yah, babo!" She chuckles, not expecting that as she smacks the back of your head with no real force. The two of you share a laugh and continue talking while you make your way to the room.

Beeping sounds from the microwave bring Jisoo back down to Earth, causing the pleasant memory to fade more and more with every incessant signal that cuts through the air. She grabs a couple heat guards and approaches the machine, carefully opening the steaming package and pouring its contents into a big, shareable bowl. Though it may be Aera's favorite food, she'd be damned to not make enough for the two of you as well. After all, keeping her entertained will take plenty of energy.

"Did this princess order one heaping bowl of popcorn or am I at the wrong castle?" Jisoo plays, padding into the room with a bright smile on her face as she looks over at her niece. The smell of her snack snaps Aera back to reality, making her eyes light up with pure joy as she leaps off of your lap and runs to Jisoo. She wraps her arms around her legs, thanking her in that sweet little voice of hers as she gazes up at her aunt with stars in her eyes.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She chants, wiggling her body around in excitement. She lets go when Jisoo goes to walk to the couch, following close behind her like an eager puppy.

She approaches you again, making grabby hands for you to lift her onto your lap even though she's more than capable of getting up there by herself. Nevertheless, you pull her up with a humored grin, watching as she puts her hands in her lap and patiently waits for the two of you to get a bite first. Her ability to follow manners is commendable, though the slight twitch of her lip when she gets a whiff of the food is pretty adorable.

"Dig in," you say around your mouthful of food, locking eyes with Jisoo when Aera jumps at the opportunity to follow your instructions. You never have to tell her twice when it comes to food.

"Yep, definitely related."

Jisoo laughs at your comment, reaching over top of Aera to flick you in the forehead. She shrugs at your pained exclamation, uttering a nonchalant "Sorry, not sorry," as the two of you crack up together.

----

"Y/N, how the hell did you manage to do that?" Jisoo whispers, not bothering to censor herself when she sees Aera fast asleep in your arms. It's not like she could hear her anyway.

"She was already kinda tired when she got here; I just made sure to get that last little bit of energy out with the games. Have you forgotten that I know a thing or two about kids?" You tease, turning to her with a smile when you finish walking up the short staircase.

"You don't understand: usually it takes us hours to settle her down. She's just a totally different person around you."

"Must be my awesomeness."

"Hmm, must be," Jisoo hums, quietly opening her bedroom door for you and watching as you carefully lay Aera down. You tuck her under the blankets with care, making sure to brush the hair out of her face and adjust her pillow a bit. Jisoo leans against the doorframe, adding the scene before her to her list of reasons for loving you. Seeing you in such a domestic situation gives her baby fever, and she has to push the persistent feeling away.

"Ready?" You whisper with one last look over your shoulder, giving Jisoo your undivided attention once you confirm that Aera's alright.

"Let's do it," she says, pulling the door to but not latching it. The two of you will be in the living room, just down the hall, and you want to be able to hear her in case she needs something. So responsible.

You take in the dorm as Jisoo leads you towards your destination, amazed at how much bigger it is than yours and Ryujin's. This one has separate rooms equipped with their own personal bathrooms, a decent kitchen, and, of course, a living area. Clearly, having ties to the school and being president of the student council come with some major perks. Your socked feet pad against the hardwood floor, and you close what little distance is left between Jisoo and yourself to press your body against her back, wrapping your arms around her. She lets out a little noise of surprise, but doesn't protest; she tucks one of her hands into your clasped ones and uses the other to rub your forearm.

A few moments later you plop down onto the couch and get comfortable on the cushions. Jisoo digs around in her bag that leans against the tv stand, searching for the script of her upcoming production. Her shirt rides up slightly, giving you a perfect view of her beautifully sculpted stomach, and her skin looks ethereal as it glows in the soft lamplight of the room. Embarrassed for admiring her in such a way, you avert your gaze, failing to notice how she subtly bites her lip as she approaches you; she planned that little show, and it worked.

"Okay, so here's the scoring sheet," she hands you a semi-formal looking paper, along with a pencil and clipboard to use as a stabilizer. "I'll be reading from the first few pages on my own, but I was wondering if you'd fill in for the male lead for some of the other parts? It's a lot easier to get into character if I have someone's energy to feed off of."

You smile at how cute she sounded with her little rambled request, and nod. "Of course, Jisoo. I doubt I'll be any good, though." She releases a sigh at that, happy to have you agree; her plan is coming along nicely, but there's always room for things to go wrong.

"I'm sure you're better than you think."

"Stop sucking up, Chu. Flattery won't make me raise your grade," you warn, pointing the pencil at her sternly. Your tone sends a shiver down her spine, though it goes unnoticed by you.

"Let's just get started." She concludes, doing her best to keep from getting too flustered under your already watchful eye.

----

Her show is well underway, caught somewhere towards the end of act two, and you're enthralled by the performance she's giving. The paper that once rested in your lap is marked up with comments of praise and proud annotations to accompany your high scoring, though now it lays forgotten about on the coffee table, serving no purpose any longer. You finished all of the required sections necessary for your peer review, and now you're just enjoying the journey that Jisoo is continuing to take you on.

You look back up into her eyes after reading off the lines of the character you're filling in for, looking completely unskilled next to the pure talent that she's exuding. She stands from the couch, looking down at you with an exasperated expression as she remains in character.

"You don't get it!" She raises her voice slightly, though not loud enough to wake Aera. Even while in the intense mindset she has to be in for her character, she keeps one foot in the reality of this world, making sure to behave appropriately.

"Enlighten me, then." You stand and retort, shifting a bit closer to her after reciting your line.

"Only when I'm with you do I feel true happiness. Your kind eyes bring me comfort like no other; I'm safe in your arms. For you, my love," she pauses, her eyes brimming with tears from the emotional words she's spent so much time rehearsing. "...there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do." Your breath is held tightly in your throat, and your hands subconsciously grip onto the material of your jeans.

Only now do you realize how close the two of you have migrated to one another; she's merely a breath away, so close you can feel the warmth radiating from her. You swallow thickly, feeling your nerves come alive with every second that passes in heated silence, neither of you knowing what to do now. You've lost the desire to read your next line, and she doesn't seem too upset by that fact. Her eyes slowly scan over your features, and the lovesick look in them makes you question if she's still in character or slipping out of it.

After her gaze darts down to your lips and she licks her own without even realizing it, you seriously begin hoping for the latter of the two options.

She searches your face for any sign of refusal as she leans in closer, now bringing her arms up to wrap around your waist and lightly ball the material of your shirt up into her fists. Your hands rest on her shoulders, and you glide your fingertips over her jawline. A singular nod is the last form of consent that you give her before she pulls you closer.

Her lips ghost over yours, receiving some of the vanilla balm you applied earlier; her breath hitches when you tug at the collar of her university sweater, teasingly taking her bottom lip between your teeth. She wants to savor this moment, so she fights against her urge to dive right in and get lost in you.

Within seconds, she's kicking herself for that decision.

"Auntie? Y/N?" Aera calls sleepily from just around the corner, making the two of you spring away from each other. When she appears less than a second later, you realize how close you had been to getting caught. Jisoo refuses to meet your gaze when you look towards her, and that simple action disheartens you a bit.

"Hey, sweetheart. Bad dream?" You ask, using your inference skills after noticing the way that she's clutching her stuffed bunny close to her chest. Her lip trembles as she nods, and the sight breaks your heart. Quickly, you pick her up again, assuring her that she's safe and that you'd slay any monster that dared to hurt her, even in her dreams. A small smile tugs at her lips, and she brings a fist up to rub her eye. "How about this: I'll do a quadruple check of the room for you, and stay with you until you fall asleep. Sound good?"

She utters a tired, "Yes, Y/N-yah", before laying her head on your shoulder and waving a goodbye towards Jisoo as you take her back to the room.

Four sweeps of the room and one fight with a ghost later, you tuck her in again and lay a sweet kiss to her forehead. "Love you," she mumbles lazily, making your heart melt. Kids say that phrase quickly, without even realizing the weight that it has, but you're always glad to accept whatever they imagine it to be. Whether she loves you for playing with her, tucking her in, or defending her honor against imaginary monsters, you don't really care all that much -- she loves you in the ways that she knows how, and that's all that matters.

"I love you, too, Aera. Sleep well." You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and settle against the wall, prepared to come through on your promise.

----

"Hey," you start, albeit a bit awkwardly.

"Hey," Jisoo returns, pushing her leftovers from the restaurant around her plate half-heartedly. You approach the marble countertop that she sits behind, silently begging for her to look up at you.

"Should we talk about earlier?" You quietly ask, picking at imaginary imperfections on the surface of the countertop.

"What about it?"

"We practically kissed--"

"It was in the script to do so, Y/N." She says, finally looking up at you. She sounds a bit hostile now, like she's getting defensive for some unknown reason.

"Oh," the simple utterance is all you can manage, seeing as how your brain is running a mile a minute. You want to ask if it meant anything else to her -- if she would've taken it farther, had Aera not walked in -- but you don't. Her tone serves as enough of an answer, and you're not sure you could stand to hear her verbalize your fears anyway.

"Well I guess I should go, then." You retract your hand and put it in your pocket, realizing how stupid you were for thinking she could like you back. She doesn't; she was just in need of a helping hand tonight, and you offered that. You shouldn't have tried to turn it into anything that it wasn't.

Hearing the disappointment in your voice makes her want to confess right then and there, but something still holds her back -- some force is yelling at her to keep her feelings hidden for fear of rejection. "I can drive you."

You shake your head. "Nah, it's okay. I'll have Ryujin come get me. You can't leave Aera here and I wouldn't want to have to wake her up just for you to drive me across campus." Jisoo agrees, realizing that she didn't even think about that at first.

"Goodnight, Jisoo." You say, heading off towards the front door. She returns the gesture, reminding you to be safe as she locks it behind you and watches you dial up your roommate's number. Before long, she pulls into one of the parking spaces in front of the dorm, and the two of you drive away.

Click Here For Part 2

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blu-joons · 4 years ago

Text

Studio Date Nights ~ Kim Minjun

As soon as you spotted that the light was on in Minjun’s studio, you felt your heart flutter. As you neared the door, you could hear the beginnings of music playing, peering through the window to see Minjun sat at his desk, scribbling away in his notepad with ideas.

With the album finally nearing completion, Minjun had been hard at work to make sure that the final few pieces were put together. His time had barely been spent with you, and whilst you understood, you always worried about making sure that Minjun looked after himself.

After bumping into Chansung earlier in the day, he had expressed a little concern for Minjun as he spent most of his days in the studio. With a promise that you’d stop by, Chansung didn’t worry too much, knowing that no one else would be able to make him smile like you could.

You studied him for a few more moments whilst he was hard at work, waiting until he seemed to take a break before knocking on the door.

Minjun spun around at the sound of knocking, feeling his smile instinctively grow as he looked through the window at the top of the door, noticing you staring back at him. He waved you in, standing up to greet you properly.

As soon as you opened up the door, Minjun’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you tightly into his chest. Your arms moved around his waist, feeling his lips press against the side of your head several times.

With your heel, you kicked the studio door shut, giving the two of you a bit of privacy. “What are you doing here?” Minjun asked, pulling away from you momentarily so he could meet your eyes, “I thought you were busy today.”

“I’ve finished work,” you grinned, placing your bag down on his desk, “so I thought rather than going back to the apartment and spending the evening by myself, I’d come down here and see if you fancied a bit of company.”

His head nodded as he invited you to sit down in his desk chair, grabbing one of the old collapsible chairs that he kept for visitors for himself to sit down in. His eyes were firmly on you as he did so, relieved to see a smiling figure again.

Whilst Minjun settled himself, you reached into your bag, pulling out several bags of snacks, ones that you knew Minjun adored. “I wasn’t sure how hungry you are, but I’ve got takeout ready to call if you’d rather have a proper meal inside of you.”

“All of this is perfect,” he smiled, searching through the items that you had bought, “food isn’t what I need right now, just being here with you is all I need. All of this work has been piling the pressure onto my shoulders, I’m terrified right now that all of this won’t get the seal of approval from the boys for the album to be honest.”

“You’re joking?” You questioned, “they always love what you do.”

Minjun offered you an appreciative smile, reaching forwards to rest his hand against your knee, nudging you gently. The exhaustion in his gaze was clear, the efforts of the day had taken their toll on him as he worked every part of his body as hard as he could.

“If you’re sure that they love everything that I do, then could you maybe give it a listen first? If you like it, then I’m sure that all of the boys will love it too, you’re the one that I always feel like I’ve got to impress the most anyway.”

“If it’ll make you confident in your own ability, then of course,” you assured, “but I’m convinced that I’ll love everything that you’ve worked on.”

You pushed yourself back from the desk so that Minjun could load up everything that he wanted to show you. The technical side of producing had always left you slightly confused, Minjun had tried to teach you all about it, but eventually he gave up too.

“How long have you been working on all of this stuff?” You asked, stunned by the number of files that he had saved on his computer, “or should I question for how long you’ve been hiding all of these works of art from the rest of the world?”

Minjun leaned across and pressed a kiss to the side of your head before continuing, “you’ve got to hear them yet, then you can decide whether they’re really works of art or not.”

Once Minjun had set everything up, he passed you a pair of headphones to place on your head before pressing play. As he did, his eyes were fixated on you, watching as your head nodded along to the short snippet of the song he had perfected.

Minjun’s work left you in awe as always, stunned by the talent that he had to offer. Whilst it was only a few seconds long, as such a small taster of the other songs, you were excited to see all of the other stuff that he had been working on.

“So?” Minjun grinned as you took the headphones off, “how was it?”

Rather than speak, you let your actions do the talking, standing up from your chair and walking across to give him a tight hug. Minjun’s arms instantly moved around your frame, pulling you down into his waist as a sigh of relief escaped him.

“I hate and love how talented you are at the same time,” you laughed as you tucked yourself in underneath his chin, “it’s not fair that one person can be so skilled whilst someone like me can barely string a sentence together.”

Minjun could only smile back down at you, slightly too overwhelmed to speak. If there was one person who was always there to hype him up, it was you. Whenever he needed you, you were there to cheer for him, and more importantly, encourage him.

Your hand lifted to brush through his signature curl as he continued to stare at you, perfecting each strand so that it sat perfectly in front of his forehead.

“I like having you here,” Minjun whispered as you moved your hand back into his lap, “it’s quite cosy having you in my little space.”

Your head nodded as you looked around the room, “I can’t believe I’ve never spent much time in this place, it’s certainly got your stamp around it too.”

“It’s the best place for me,” Minjun admitted, “but having you here is the icing on top of the cake for making this place perfect. I’ve got everything I need in this room, music, snacks, and best of all, I’ve got you too.”

Your head shook as Minjun’s head nodded, reinforcing every single word that he had to say to you.

“I really do mean it, I’ve been so busy, especially with all of this stuff for the album and I really don’t know how you’ve been so patient with me. Trying to get all of this done has been horrendous, but I promise once this album is complete, you’ll have my full attention and I’ll make all of this back up to you too.”

“You don’t need to make anything up to me, I’m proud of how hard you’re working, and I know that it’ll pay off for you too. As long as by the end of this you’re proud of yourself, then that’s all that matters to me.”

Minjun nodded back to you, “I’m proud of everything that I do, but I’m mostly proud of the fact that I get to do all of this with you.”

“I should come to your studio more often if this is how sweet you’re going to be.”

---

Masterlist

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bts-bay-bee · 5 years ago

Text

Jealousy

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader

Genre: smut

Word Count: 4621

Warnings: dom!Tae, cursing, fingering while being clothed, spanking, dirty talking, begging, lip biting, vaginal fingering, hair pulling, honestly Tae is kinda cocky and I live for it, orgasm denial, edging, finger sucking, sucking at your own arousal, hickies, a lot of hickies, oral sex (male and female receiving), degradation (slut, cockslut), deep-throating, mouth-fucking, choking on dick, lowkey crying, riding, unprotected sex (use a condom), breast play, choking, cream pie, unedited work

Summary: You watch Hwarang with your friend, Taehyung, on one of his rare days off. After your not-so-subtle comments about your crush on one of his co-stars, Taehyung shows you how he really feels.

***

“I missed you so much, Y/N!” Taehyung coos into your hair as you laugh, his arms wrapped tightly around you. He still stood in the doorway of your apartment, too busy occupied with embracing you to step in.

“I missed you too, Tae Tae.” You replied, grinning at him while he pulled away. When he finally decided to come in, he followed the sweet scent of baked goods, which ultimately lead him to your kitchen. You couldn’t help but giggle at his actions. “I made you cupcakes.”

Smiling wide at you, he took one off of the counter, before peeling the paper off and feeding you a bite, before shoving the rest in his mouth. You rolled your eyes while chewing the sweet confectionary.

“Do you want some popcorn? I thought that we could watch Hwarang today. You promised that you’d see it with me.” You asked, hopefully. Taehyung smiled at you and nodded slightly.

Taehyung sat on the counter of your kitchen while you put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. There was a comfortable silence as he simply stared at you, completely mesmerised with the way you so effortlessly glided around the kitchen, pulling various snacks out for the pair of you. You glanced up at him, already finding his eyes on yours, which made you raise your eyebrow.

“What are you staring at?” You asked, a teasing tilt to your voice, as he continued to unapologetically stare at you, his chin propped up on the palm of his hand. There was a small smile on his plump lips, which made your heart beat a little faster. When you realised that he was still staring, you raised your eyebrow further. “Tae?”

“You look good.” He murmured, more to himself that anything else. Blushing slightly, you ignored him and continued making your hot cocoa.

Half an hour later, you found yourself and Tae sprawled out on the couch, watching the first episode of Hwarang. You hadn’t exactly watched it, since dramas were never really your thing, but you did let it play for background noise when you were doing your household chores – just because something wasn’t ‘you’ doesn’t mean that you couldn’t support Tae. As long as your view counted, you were satisfied. However, you really wanted to watch the show, even it was just for a few snippets of Tae.

During the second episode, Taehyung pulled you into his lap, while mumbling something about it being cold. So that was how you ended up cuddling: Tae was leaning against the couch, your back was against his chest, and his arms were wrapped around you tightly. You really didn’t mind though – you had always had a not-so-tiny crush on him.

When he finally showed up on screen, you gasped, hitting his thigh lightly. “Tae! It’s you!”

“Hmm…” He replied sleepily, taking a deep breath through his nose, and pulling you closer. You pulled away from him, frowning.

“Are you sleeping?” You asked, turning to face him. When you saw how tired he looked, you immediately felt bad. His eyes were half-closed, a small frown on his gorgeous features. You leaned back onto him, his arms immediately snaking around you. You placed a hand over his, smiling when he knotted your fingers together. “I’m sorry, Tae. Go to sleep.”

“Let me nap for a while. Then you can wake me up. Only for an hour, promise, Jagi.” He mumbled into your hair. As you heard the pet name, your heart started beating faster, a smile gracing your lips unwillingly. You don’t even think he called you that on purpose – it was just a result of his sleepiness.

You felt Taehyung fall asleep under you; his breathing slowed and became deeper. Every so often, he’d wrap his arms around you tighter, but never once let go of your hand. You started the forth episode of the drama, yawning slightly because you hadn’t moved in about an hour, when Tae brought you closer to him, yet again, but froze when his free hand cupped your breast and palmed it lightly. Biting your lip, you felt your nipples perk up, and due to not wearing a bra, it showed through your thin shirt.

“T-Tae?” You called out, pausing the episode, your heart beating fast. When he didn’t respond, you turned back lightly and saw that he was still fast asleep. Your throat going dry, you decided to just move his hand to your waist, so when he does wake up, it wouldn’t be so awkward.

But you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You didn’t want to admit it, but you loved how readily your body reacted to his slight touch. Swallowing hard, you forced yourself to move his hand. As your petite hand hovered over his much larger one, you felt his hardening dick grow beneath your ass – you didn’t even realise it, but you were subconsciously grinding onto his length. Standing up abruptly, you walked to the bathroom, trying to calm your racing heart.

Taehyung woke up when you walked away, and he frowned, wondering why you looked so embarrassed. He shook his head, not realising that his dick was half-hard, from your barest touch. A few minutes later, you walked back, now seeing Taehyung awake. He didn’t act any different, so you just decided to roll with it.

“Where did you go?” he whined, making you roll your eyes.

“I – uh – went to the bathroom, silly.” You lied, sitting next to him. He whined again, before pulling you back into his lap with the premise of ‘still cold’. You sat so stiffly in his lap, not wanting to subconsciously grind on him again, especially now that he’s awake.

You felt there was an awkwardness in the air, but you failed to realise that you were the only one who felt it. Taehyung was still oblivious to his erection, which was slowly, yet steadily, growing harder and harder under your lower back. Trying to ease the atmosphere in the room, you started teasing Tae about his character in Hwarang, which was adorable, yet kind of… Slow. The overall effect was rather endearing.

“Aww, you look so cute, Tae!” You said, laughing lightly, as he got poked in the head with a wooden stick. He just hummed in response, but in the reflection of the TV, you saw him roll his eyes. A few moments later, Ban-ryu showed up on screen, making you hum with appreciation; he truly was a sight. Once again, in the reflection, you saw him raise his eyebrow. When Soo-ho had a scene, you once again hummed, making Tae poke your side. “Ow! What was that for?”

“You’re drooling a bit.” He replied, not answering your question. You scowled, knowing for a fact that he wasn’t serious about the drool. “And you’re basically eye-fucking them. Pay attention to the story.”

“So what?” You replied, rolling your eyes. “If they’re sexy, then they’re sexy. It’s not my fault they’re blessed with good looks.”

“How come I get called cute, and you call them sexy?” He snapped, causing you to sigh. If only you could really tell him what you thought about him.

Turning your attention to the TV again, you saw Tae clenching his jaw, making your heart beat a little faster. His jaw was so defined, it looked like it was carved from rock. Your eyes trailed down his gorgeous features, feeling your core getting a little warmer. You licked your lips, unknowingly, making Tae irritated.

“Now you’re thirsting after Hyung-sik?” He asked, clearly jealous. You would never admit it aloud, but his jealousy turns you on in unimaginable ways.

You turned to him, sitting in between his legs, biting your lower lip, then said defensively, “I wasn’t even focusing on the TV, Tae.”

“Then what were you licking your lips for?” He snapped, making you grow wet at the jealousy laced in his every word.

You lowered your eyes, looking down, then mumbled, “Your reflection. Your jaw clenched really hard, because you were jealous, and…”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look into his eyes; instead, you just focused on his chest. You felt your panties get wetter at the sight of his length, now so achingly hard that you could clearly see it. You heard Tae’s breathing hitch, before he sat up, his hand trailing on your thighs. Your eyes followed his large hands, gasping when you saw where it was leading to.

Without realising, you had completely soaked your panties, which in turn, lead you to start soaking your thin, grey leggings. You tried covering up the growing wet patch, but Taehyung slapped your hand away. He ran a finger over your clothed folds, making you bite down on your lip to contain a whimper.

“This for me?” he murmured, continuing to run a slender finger over your soaked leggings. You closed your eyes, not wanting to moan, which you so badly wanted to do. Taehyung clenched his jaw further, then spoke harshly, “Answer me when I speak to you!”

“Y-Yes, Tae.” You replied, your eyes snapping open to meet his own. You saw the corners of his mouth lift slightly. His fingers began to push into you deeper, making you release the smallest whimper, causing him to smirk.

“Such pretty sounds.” He murmured, continuing his assault on your folds. It was driving you crazy – not feeling enough friction to satiate your needs. “My pretty girl got so wet that she soaked through her panties, hmm?”

“T-Tae…” You whined, abandoning your pride. He slowed his actions, his eyes shining with excitement.

“Since you pissed me off so much by making me jealous of my friends, I’ll let you choose where I’m going to absolutely destroy this pussy.” He murmured, absentmindedly brushing hair away from your face. “Here? Your bedroom? The balcony?”

“Here.” You replied, breathlessly, moving closer to him, causing him to chuckle. Taehyung always knew that you loved rough sex, probably something you let slip after a drink too many, but he didn’t realise just how much you changed during sex.

“Take off your clothes.” He ordered, his authority only enhancing how wet you were. You scrambled to shed your thin shirt, then your leggings. Taehyung’s eyes grew darker and darker with lust as every inch of your body became exposed. As you reached to pull off your thong, his large hands stopped you; instead, hooking his fingers around the waistband on either side of your hips and slowly dragging them down. “Where’s your bra, baby girl? Do you enjoy teasing me that much?”

“I wasn’t trying to tease you – ” You began, breathlessly, but a sharp slap to your ass made you stop abruptly.

“Bullshit.” He snapped, his fingers running over your slick folds. “You think I didn’t feel you grind into me? Oh, I want to punish you so badly… Overstimulate you until you’re crying, begging me to stop.” At his filthy words, you subconsciously released another gush of sticky arousal over his hand, making him smirk. “You like that? You want me to fuck you senseless?”

“Please.” You whispered, looking up at him, pleadingly. Then, for the first time, Taehyung kissed you. His plump, soft lips that you had only dreamed about, were on yours, moving perfectly in sync with you. He forced open your mouth with his tongue, the roughness of it only making you want him further. His tongue skilfully moved against your own, the velvety appendage massaging every corner of your mouth. Due to lack of oxygen, he began to pull away, but not before biting your lip, sucking on it gently to relieve the sting.

Looking into his eyes, you saw a side of him that you only imagined – it was feral, lust clouding the surface of his gorgeous orbs. Without taking his eyes off of yours, he plunged two fingers into your dripping core, making you cry out at the sudden intrusion. At the sound coming out of your mouth, he smirked, enjoying having you at his mercy.

“Feel good, my pretty girl?” He asked, his fingers curling to stroke every inch of your silky walls. He brought his lips to yours again, greedily exploring every crevice of your mouth, biting and suckling at your already swollen lips, while his fingers fucked into you mercilessly. As his long, thin digits pistoned out of you, relentless in its pace, his free hand knotted his fingers in your hair, tugging on it slightly, allowing him to pull your mouth closer to him.

At a particularly deep thrust, you cried out into his mouth, causing him to let out a breathless chuckle. Your walls began to clench tightly around his fingers, indicating that you were close, so close. You felt him add a third finger into your core, making you whine at the stretch, the burning sensation only getting you more aroused.

You felt your thighs start to tremble, a sure sign of your oncoming orgasm. Taehyung continued to assault your pussy, not taking his eyes off of where his fingers were entering and leaving you. Needing to feel your release, you began to rock your hips against his hand, desperately trying to fuck yourself deeper with his fingers.

As you were about to reach your much-anticipated climax, your core was suddenly empty, pathetically clenching around nothing. You almost sobbed, the pressure in your lower body slowly ebbing away, guaranteeing that your orgasm was lost.

“Taehyung!” You cried out, the heat of your climax nowhere to be found. He ignored your words, simply kissing you again, the lewd sounds of open-mouthed kisses were the only sounds that filled the air. Your thighs trembled slightly, almost your body’s way of asking why your orgasm was denied.

“I get to say when you cum. This is your punishment for making me jealous.” He said, softly, stuffing his soaked fingers into your mouth, making you suck at your own juices. He pulled on your hair, tightly, bringing your face closer to his. “If I decide to stop you from cumming, then you shut the fuck up and deal with it. You’ll only cum on my cock, understand? Not on my fingers, not on my mouth, but my cock. I told you; you’re gonna be crying, begging me to stop, begging me to let you cum.”

You nodded slightly; eyes closed as you swallowed hard. Smiling at your obedience, Taehyung slipped his fingers out of your mouth, moving you to sit on the sofa, your legs spread. Seeing your dripping, pink pussy, he felt his cock twitch on his pants, desperately wanting to plough through your slickness. His eyes found your clit, swollen and red, probably from how roughly he had fingered you, paired with being denied your orgasm.

Spreading your legs further, he dropped to his knees and began to kiss, suck and nibble on the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs. Leaving a garden of dark purple bruises in his wake, he took a deep sniff of your arousal, before attaching his lips to your clit and sucking harshly. Your moans and whimpers of his name only spurred him on, licking at every drop of your juices.

He ran his tongue around your soaked entrance, resulting in you letting out a breathy moan. Stiffening his tongue, he began to thrust it in and out of you, simulating what his fingers were doing earlier. He hummed at your taste, savouring the never-ending torrents of arousal that coated his mouth, some even dripping onto his chin.

“Fuck, you taste so good, pretty girl.” He said, stopping his actions to see the way your entrance clenched around nothing, practically begging him to resume his previous activities. He licked a stripe from your core right up until the top of your clit, then began to suck on it, his tongue pressing against the sensitive bud harshly.

He felt your heavily marked thighs began to tremble around his head, indicating your fast approaching orgasm, making him suck harshly, getting the last taste of your juices, before pulling away, making your chest heave, wanting nothing more than to cum around his prodding tongue.

“Did I not fucking say that you aren’t allowed to cum unless it’s on my cock?” He snapped, grabbing your hair so that you looked up at him. You felt yourself somehow, possibly become even more aroused at this side of Taehyung; you never thought that your cute, cuddly best friend would ever be such a rough, dominating man in bed.

Seeing you peer up at him with innocent eyes, flushed a light shade of pink, caused a rush of heat to make its way down to his dick. Wanting nothing more than to hear your voice, your moans and whimpers for him, and only him, he was quickly getting even more pissed off when you didn’t respond to him.

“If you don’t want to respond to me, put your mouth to better use.” He said, harshly, slipping off his shirt, trousers and boxers, mindlessly kicking them onto the floor. You immediately dropped to your knees, making him chuckle as he took a seat on the couch. “You’re such a pretty little cockslut, baby.”

Shining at his praise, you took his lengthy dick into your mouth, your hands behind your back. Swirling your tongue around the head, you licked off the salty pre-cum, before slowly taking more of him into your velvety soft mouth. He let out a huff, seeing how your ass and tits stuck out of your delectable body as you took bobbed your head on his cock.

“All of it.” He murmured, brushing your hair away from your face so that he could gather it in a ponytail at the crown of your head. You sunk your head lower onto his length, struggling to encompass his girth as well as the sheer length of his manhood. “Come on, you can fit me in that sweet, sweet mouth, baby. Be a good girl and take it all.”

Hearing his voice going down an octave, you pushed your gag reflex aside, wanting nothing more than to please him. Eventually, the tip hit the back of your throat, resulting in you gagging slightly.

“Now swallow.” He instructed, relishing in the way your throat muscles tightened and loosened around him when you did that. Your nose was nestled against his pubic bone, making your breathing a little difficult. When you couldn’t breathe anymore, you pulled away, tears burning your eyes from the lack of oxygen.

Once you had enough air, you sheathed him in your throat once again, the second time much easier than the first. He moaned out your name, pre-cum still coating the surface of your tongue. You felt him pull away from your touch slightly, only for him to thrust back into your mouth, going deeper. Holding your head in place, by pulling on your hair, he continued to snap his hips against your mouth, essentially fucking it.

He loved hearing you choke on his dick when he thrust a little too far in, the sound only encouraging him to go further and deeper. If possible, you enjoyed it more; you loved seeing Taehyung fuck himself into you, you loved seeing his mouth part, and most of all, you loved hearing his groans, especially if it was your name. But you could only survive without oxygen for so long. After a minute or so, your lungs were screaming for oxygen, tears running down your face, and your spit dripped down your chin, having spilled out of the sides of your mouth when he so vigorously fucked your mouth.

You tapped his toned thigh, his muscles flexing as they helped him rut into your mouth. He got the message and pulled out, running the head of his dick along the expanse of your now swollen lips, his pre-cum slowly ebbing out and joining the mess on your face.

Looking up at his face, you felt a sense of pride, seeing him look down at you with such adoring eyes. He reached down, brushing away your tears, which had only run down your face due to the lack of oxygen, not because you were in pain. Tae seemed to know this, and simply smirked. “I told you, I’ll have you crying, pretty girl.”

“Please fuck me, Tae.” You begged, your sticky arousal beginning to coat your hickie-filled thighs. You were desperate for his touch. “Please, I promise I’ll be good. I won’t make you jealous again. Just please fuck me. I wanna cum. I wanna come so badly on your thick cock, please, Tae.”

He smirked at how submissive you were, which was a complete 180 from your usual demeanour. Scooping you up effortlessly, he brought you up to straddle him, but didn’t slip into your aching entrance. Leaning in, he licked the mixture of pre-cum and your spit from your chin, collecting the liquid on his tongue, then deposited it into your mouth, making you moan.

When he sufficiently cleaned you up, he latched his lips to your own, kissing you deeply, running his tongue against your own. He quickly pulled away, the throbbing of his cock not allowing him to take his time with you the way he wished to.

“Gonna bounce that tight pussy on my cock, pretty girl?” He asked, lining up at your entrance, your mouth going dry at the thought of finally being able to cum. You were denied your orgasm twice, making the ache between your legs spread throughout your entire being. “Gonna cream on this dick?”

Every rational thought left you. The only word you seemed to know was ‘please’, which is what you whimpered to him repeatedly, needing him in you. Resting your hands on his broad shoulders, you slowly sank down on his length, whimpering as his head stretched your poor pussy. While you were taking in his cock, he began to suck harshly on your tits and neck, leaving numerous love bites as he moved over the expanse of your body.

Taehyung got impatient and abruptly thrusted into you, burying himself deep in you; deep enough for your swollen, sensitive clit to be pressed against his pubic bone. You choked on nothing, feeling your walls stretch, burning as your body felt it was splitting in half from Taehyung’s generous, girthy length.

It had been so long since you had been laid that you felt as if it was your first time again. Sure, earlier, Taehyung had tried to stretch you out, but that was about an hour ago, and your body had seemingly forgotten about the preparation that had been done to it.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Y/N.” Tae groaned, feeling your tight walls stretch to encompass his girth. “So fucking tight for me. Such a pretty little slut for me.”

Swallowing slightly, you decided to ignore the almost-painful stretch and began to bounce up and down on his length, immediately feeling the burn ease. Taehyung had one of his hands on your lower back and the other on your upper back, holding you so that you wouldn’t fall as you arched your back, pushing your chest into his own.

Swivelling your hips, you began to grind down on him, enjoying how the curve of his cock allowed him to repeatedly hit against your g-spot, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

“That’s it, baby, use me to get off.” He groaned, feeling your walls clenched around him. You returned to bouncing on his dick, knotting your fingers in his hair as he kissed your neck, biting down on the soft flesh harshly. His large hand began to roughly knead your breast, tweaking your nipple in-between his fingers.

“Fuck!” You moaned loudly, still bouncing on his generous length. He let out a breathy chuckle, seeing the completely fucked out expression on your delicate features. His eyes trailed down to the marks he left across your neck, tits and thighs, a possessiveness growing within him. Taehyung suddenly pulled your hair backwards, making you whimper.

“Whose pussy is this, Y/N?” He growled, now thrusting into you at a relentless pace. “Scream my name, you little cockslut.”

“Yours! Yours, Taehyung!” You whimpered, your body trembling as he pounded into you, panting heavily. You felt him remove a hand from your back, instead using his slim fingers to rub tight circles into your overly sensitive clit. Throwing your head back, you felt a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach, forcing you to clench tightly on Tae’s length.

“You wanna come for me, baby?” He groaned, his voice deeper than it usually is. Nodding in response, unable to speak coherently, you made yourself bring your eyes to his.

“Cum with me.” You choked out, feeling his hips stutter at your wish. You leaned in to kiss him, immediately slipping your tongue into his mouth. “Please Tae. Cum in me.”

“Oh, fuck!” He said, loudly, thrusting sloppily because he was so close. You knew you needed something to set you off, so you removed one of his hands from your hips and placed it around your neck. He got the idea, and squeezed gently, effectively shutting off enough of your oxygen for it to be pleasurable. You sobbed, feeling your orgasm race through your entire body, causing you to collapse on Taehyung’s strong chest; your body finally giving in to the euphoric feeling of climaxing. You felt your cum drip out of you, only to get fucked back into your core by Taehyung.

First making sure that you rode out the high of your orgasm, Taehyung soon came in you, moaning out your name as he buried himself to the built then released strand after strand of thick, hot cum deep in your pussy.

You buried your head in the crook of his neck, feeling his chest rise and fall rapidly, trying to catch his breath after expending so much energy. Once he had calmed his raging breath, he caressed your back lightly, leaving a trail of goose bumps down your spine.

You lifted your head up, using a hand to cup Taehyung’s face, then brought his lips to yours again, already missing his touch. Smiling lightly against your mouth, he playfully nipped at your lip, making you giggle.

“Is your pussy sore, baby?” He asked, gently, his openness making you flush red. He chuckled in response, rolling his eyes at your shyness. “I just came in you, Y/N, maybe you should get used to me asking you these prodding questions.”

“It’s sore.” You admitted, burying your face in the crook of his neck, kissing the flesh.

“Let me go run you a bath then, pretty girl.” He murmured, stroking your hair. You let out a noise of irritation, wanting nothing more than for Taehyung to remain buried in you, cuddling you and playing with your hair.

“No. Stay here.” You sighed, cuddling closer to his chest. “We’ll move later, Tae.”

“So needy.” He teased, but complied with your requests, wrapping his arms around you tightly and kissing you deeply.

***

#taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #bts #bts smut #v #bts fan fiction #bts x reader

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silly-cooki3 · 4 years ago

Text

TCF x ORV (continuation)

THE TRASH OF THE COUNT’S FAMILY X OMNISCIENT READER’S VIEWPOINT (PART 1.5)

OKAY SO, KIM DOKJA BEING TRANSPORTED TO TCF UNIVERSE WHERE HE UNEXPECTEDLY LANDS IN WHEN THE EMPIRE IS AT WAR WITH THE WHIPPER KIMGDOM AND IT’S RIGHT AFTER CALE ZAPS THEM GOLEMS YA KNOW (SO AROUND TCF CH 300 AND ABOVE + ORV CH 520 AND ABOVE) [SPOILERS IF YA HAVEN’T READ THROUGH BOTH]

- kim dokja spectates cale’s group in the jungle (honestly amazed by his group, his ancient powers, and his great acting skills + “10/10, would totally fool Kim Dokja’s Company, right 4th Wall?” + [th a t s in cons e que n tial K im Do kja] + stares and raises a brow at the 4th Wall + [. . .th e y lw ou ld d e fi nit e ly b e foo l ed] + he huffs out a small laugh))

- kim dokja then wakes up to a quiet and luxurious room and finds himself meeting a prince; aka. cale henituse literally drops him off with the prince

- “i need a favor, your highness.” + “what is it?” + “...your highness, the rising sun of the roan kingdom, the shining light of this world, the bright golden heart of-” + “spit it out.” + “take this.” + “wha- crazy bastard, this is a child!”

- cue small kim dokja being nervous at how intensely the prince stares at him when he wakes up (he doesn’t know him)

- alberu gives him food and cookies without talking, kim dokja is glad as he silently stuffs himself with delicious food that he hasn’t eaten in thousands of years (and well if a few tears start falling out of his eyes while eating cookies, the nice, but weird blonde man doesn’t dare say anything about it)

- alberu then starts asking him questions;

- “who are you?” + “yoo joo-” kim dokja says “kim dokja, i mean kim dokja.”) + alberu looks confused but nods + “how old are you, young child?” + “15?” he sweat drops at ‘young child’ because he’s pretty sure he’s way older than the blonde man but he doesn’t remember how old + alberu on the other hand feels bad because he thinks that this poor kid doesn’t know his age (which he’s right) so he doesn’t question it + “did you enjoy the food and cookies?” + a moment of embarrassed silence...”yes.”

- in the tiniest part of alberu’s mind, he wants to adopt this child but no, he can’t;

- ‘this child is not mine’ + ‘i dont have time or knowledge to take care of a child’ + ‘the child suddenly appeared randomly in a battlefield that was filled by black despair and then hit by an ancient power ‘how the fuck-’ ‘ + ‘do i really want to?’

(lmao, idk i feel like he’d be too tired to even adopt + he has a big secret)

- kim dokja then listens in to their conversation of the big plan (aka. commander cale ‘supposedly’ being at the brink of death) which makes him nod in understanding, because ‘dying really solves all your problems, doesn’t it? + [...] + ‘i won’t do anything stupid.’

(obviously he will do something stupid and the 4th Wall knows)

- after a while, there’s a small ruckus and he sees the blonde man run around trying to do all his work, so he wants to help the man who fed him;

- “do you need help?” + “haaaah...” alberu sighs, because a poor child really just offered help, ‘how overworked do i look for a child to want to help?’ + “i can take all the calls...” + “just keep eating your cookies and rest kim dokja.”

- kim dokja vibes (because he deserves it :D) and watches alberu struggle (poor crown prince D:)

and then boom

- kim dokja escapes because really, he needs to go back somehow

First Part here

Ayyy this is part 1.5 because no action happens here. Just Alberu and Kim Dokja, plus a snippet of Cale.

Anywayssss, do yall know Gashan’s personality? I’m only asking this for the fic I’m working on, its also a crossover between ORV x TCF so like yeahhhh

#kim dokja #fourth wall #Cale Henituse #alberu crossman #cookies #10/10 acting skills #really kdj is about to do something #idk what he will do #but like friendship between alberu and kim dokja sounds awesome #plz people give me orv x tcf content #i am starved #omniscient reader's viewpoint #trash of the count's family #crossover

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mae-gi-writes · 5 years ago

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Sooner | Sunwoo (The Boyz)

Requested by anon! You break up with your boyfriend at the annual dinner staff celebration. But thankfully, Sunwoo swoops in to save the day.

Genre: fluff, a little angst if you squint. CEO! Sunwoo au, Noona au.

A/N: I’m sorry for taking so long with requests but I literally have NO time to write *cries*. But I’ll try my best to go through them asap. Thank you for your patience and for understanding, and thank you most of all, for reading my works <3 <3

-------------

"Now is your time," Jacob urges, "do something."

He doesn't have to call Sunwoo for attention, for the said man's eyes are already riveted towards the couple in question swaying on the dance floor. Or had been swaying anyway. Because right now, they're squarely facing each other and even with the loud music booming through the speakers, small snippets of angry conversation seems to reach the pair.

"I can't do that," Sunwoo mumbles while ducking his head away, "you know I can't do that. People will talk--"

"People will always talk Sunwoo," Jacob cuts him off with a stern look, "you're not doing that as Mr. Kim, CEO of Kim Finances. You're doing it as Kim Sunwoo, just a guy smitten with his junior associate."

The younger man decides to keep quiet, though Jacob can practically see the cogs turning in his head.

"I can't keep doing this Jaehwan," your voice suddenly pierces through the music, "how am I supposed to trust the fact that you're hanging out with your ex--you go out to drink with her! I--"

"She knows my friends Y/N, she's already in the group. I don't know why you're making such a fuss about this!"

Beside him, Jacob scoffs, "what a dick."

"Because you did it once!" You yell out, fists clenched and chest heaving, "you did it once Jaehwan. How--How am I supposed to trust you--"

Jaehwan murmurs something before his hands reach out as a gesture to calm you. But it's too late. You push at his chest while crying out, "Oh stop acting like you're the good guy. You know damn well what you did!"

People around you have stopped with curious gazes, something that's bound to result in office gossip the next day and though Sunwoo isn't one to act like a hero, he decides that he'd better swoop in before things get out of hand.

As the CEO, it's his duty. He tells himself. Yeah, that's right.

So that is how he finds himself striding up to the pair of you to position himself in a way that he can shield you from Jaehwan.

"Hey guys," his eyes flit back and forth between the pair, "we should probably take this outside--"

"You're one to talk Y/N," Jaehwan scoffs, "you accuse me of talking to my exes when you gallivant in the office, getting all friendly with the superiors--"

"They're just friends! And--"

"Think I didn't know you little game?! What about you flirting with him, all the time?!" Jaehwan jabs a thumb in Sunwoo's direction, causing him to blink in surprise before rage clouds over.

"Excuse me?" He finds his voice, fist suddenly clenching at his side while narrowing his eyes at the said man.

The latter scoffs, hands plopping atop his hips as he shakes his head, "wow, look at that. Y/N, what'd you do for him to take your side? Bet you had a nice suck--"

That does it. Sunwoo's fist flies forward, hits Jaehwan straight in the jaw.

The whole room gasps. Silence ensues.

It takes a few seconds for Jaehwan to straighten back up, his nostrils flared and his mouth twisted in a scowl that he throws at Sunwoo, "you little fucker--"

Everything happened so fast. One moment Jaehwan is lurching at the CEO's body and Sunwoo throws himself before Y/N, and the next, two colleagues are dragging Jaehwan away, all the while screaming obscenities for everyone to hear and see.

Noticing the way your face is crumpled as though you're about to cry, the CEO makes a grab for your shoulders, spins you around, and walks you out of the room, out of the gaping eyes drilling holes into the back of your heads.

It is only when the burst of fresh air hits your face that you inhale shakily, hands finding purchase onto the terrace railing.

"You okay?" Sunwoo murmurs softly.

While his fingers itch to touch you, hold you close, he decides that it's not wise. Not now.

"Noona?" He prompts.

"Huh?" Your eyes flutter up to his, causing his heart to squeeze at the sight of the tears brimming at the corners, "sorry, I--" taking a shaky inhale, you stumble through your words, "I'm sorry he lashed out at you--"

"Noona," Sunwoo rests his hand atop your arm, "it's fine. Breathe."

A long silence ensues where you try to even out your breathing. He watches though his chest hurts at the sight of your struggle, helpless in such a situation.

When you manage to recollect yourself long enough, you manage a wobbly smile. Sunwoo's heart clenches at the pain lingering in your brown orbs.

Fucking bastard, he swears if he ever sees his face he'll break his two legs.

"He's not wrong you know," you say, keeping your gaze averted, away from him, as if embarrassed by the mere notion of it.

Moving closerr to you, his hand settles on the small of your back, "what do you mean?"

"He--He knows we're close, too close for his liking. it didn't help that I told him how popular you were with the girls."

He scoffs, "not a reason."

"I might have also told him..." you spare him a glance and bite down on your bottom lip, "...that I liked you before. That's what started this whole thing. He thinks I cheated on him, with you. So he thinks it's okay to see his ex, except that--" swallowing hard, you continue in a whisper, "except that I never cheated. I'd never do that Sunwoo and--"

Tears are free falling down your cheeks now and without hesitation Sunwoo's arms lace themselves around your middle just in time for you to lean into his cheat to sob. He holds you, holds you as your ahoulders shake and your body quivers and all the sadness comes pouring out of you like a free-flowing river finally able to run its course.

He holds you, while trying not to let his brain jump to the conclusion that there might be a bigger strand of hope for him to catch your heart and make it his.

She liked me, his brain roars like a blaring siren.

Maybe she still does.

When your sobs finally calm down into soft sniffles, he manages to pull you back enough before cupping your chin and tilting it up so that you have no choice but look at him.

The emotion he finds swimming across your face causes another stab to resonate through his ribcage. He hates seeing you so frail, so weak.

"Even if we are close," he murmurs, "that doesn't justify him cheating. Nothing ever does."

"But it's my fault," you blubber against his chest, "I should've just kept my distance--"

"You'd ignore me for him?"

You hesitate slightly, "that's not what I--"

"No. Noona, you can't just end friendships with people just because he said so. If he loves you as he claims he does, he wouldn't be so jealous and insecure," He interrupts in barely-restrained anger, "being in love doesn't mean throwing away everything else. It doesn't work that way and he's a dick for even implying that on you."

He can keep going, but spotting your bottom lip wobbling is enough to allow the words to die at the back of his throat. Instead he just holds you a little closer, an embrace that you gladly accept, tucks your head under his jaw before rocking you back and forth like you're a child that needs comforting.

He isn't really aware of the hours that slip by, only realizes that it's late when he notices the lights aren't on anymore inside the room, that there aren't any voices in the vicinity to suggest that there's still a presence of a party. Glad that there aren't any curious eyes, he doesn't waste time guiding you to his car so that he can drive you home, scooping you into his arms -- you'd fallen asleep on the way and he knows his way to your flat -- and clumsily letting himself in your safe haven.

Gently laying you down onto a nearby sofa, your sleeping form snuggles closer to the pillows on instinct as a soft sigh leaves your lips. Sunwoo gathers a blanket from the side before he tucks you in, careful not to jostle you awake. But there's nothing to worry about. You are happily swept up in a reverie of dreams.

"Cute," Sunwoo can't help but mutter under his breath while crouching down to gaze fondly at your smoothed out features, a drastically different picture from the crying mess you'd been a few hours before.

He reaches out, hand brushing away a few stray strands of hair from your face, "why didn't you tell me sooner?"

A soft sigh escapes him, "I liked you too, noona. I've always liked you, idiot."

And then, not being able to restrain himself, the young man leans over to drop a chaste kiss atop your forehead.

"Sleep tight, princess," he murmurs.

-------

Knock knock knock.

Sunwoo looks up from the pile of papers scattered across his desk, face worn out with tiredness and practically running on caffeine. Speaking off, he should probably get another cup.

"Yes?" He calls, though he inwardly cringes at the way his alto croaks without energy.

But the moment the door swings open to reveal your face, the young CEO relaxes. He leans back in his seat before closing his eyes, "it's only you."

"Were you expecting someone else?" You ask while closing his door. You approach his desk gingerly, with a fearful gait in your step that though you hope he doesn't notice, he does so anyway.

He shakes his head in response, before he motions her to take a seat. You don't though, rocking back and forth on your heels with your hands knotting themselves, a sign of nervousness.

"Noona?" He peers at you when you don't say anything, concern flaahing through his features, "what's wrong?"

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you squirm slightly before you manage to gather up all your courage to blurt out:

"I heard you, that night."

Silence. Sunwoo stares at you, confusion blossoming into realization when his brain puts two and two together.

He jolts up from his chair, "you heard--you mean, what--what did you hear?"

"Well," you shuffle from one foot to another while averting your gaze, "uhm--I heard you speak, that time when you carried me to my flat--"

"And you kept that to yourself all this time?!"

"What was I supposed to do?! I was confused!"

In truth, only two weeks had passed since the famous incident. Though, you were glad that Sunwoo had been too busy to actually realize you had been silently avoiding him. It had given you time to gather your thoughts and actually think over what you really wanted to say.

After all, Sunwoo is the CEO of Kim Finances. You are just a mere nobody. He doesn't really need you.

"You--You--" he struggles to gather his thoughts as he gazes at you, a mere puppy being kicked by its owner with his cheeks filling with the softest peony.

You approach his desk, noting the way his eyes widen at your blunt confidence while you round the table to stand before him.

"I like you," you look up at him boldly even when your cheeks are flaming with colour and your palms are coated with a sheen of swear, heart beating as if you’ve just run a mile without any breaks, "I've always liked you. Except, people talk and you’re like three years younger than me, which doesn’t help things and the fact that I just recently broke up with Jaehwan because of you just seems wrong--”

One second you’re trying to justify yourself, and the next Sunwoo is cupping your cheeks and pulling you in as his mouth finds yours in a hard, passionate kiss.

A small sigh escapes your throat, which he takes as a green light. His hands grip your waist before he pins your soft curves to his hard frame, the action leaving you breathless and your head dizzy as he slowly moves his lips over yours.

He kisses, nibbles, sucks softly while your hands pave a way up his chest to grip tight on his work shirt and when your butt hits the edge of his table, the young CEO doesn’t hesitate to grab your thighs before propelling you up on his desk. Covering your protests with his lips, body slipping right in-between your thighs while his tongue delves in to caress yours, a low growl echoes from deep within his chest when you kiss back with just as much ardour.

You’ve never really thought of kissing Sunwoo up until recently. But all these fantasies had always felt wrong somehow, maybe because you know he’s younger which automatically made him younger brother material. Or so you thought. And it’s not like his attitude had helped in the past. While he was the CEO of a big multinational company, Sunwoo was still a big kid at heart who just loved pestering you and bullying you with his affection.

But this, him kissing you and ravaging your lips as if that’s the last time you shall ever see each other again, that is definitely not the Sunwoo you’ve grown to know.

This is a different Sunwoo. This Sunwoo feels like a man. His grip is firm, his mouth hot and hard and just the pure bliss of a drug you can’t get enough of.

You’re not really sure when your arms manage to lace their way around his neck, but it’s only when you part for air that you realize how close you are, how his chest is practically pressed against yours it can be considered scandalous. He takes this chance to pepper soft kisses over your jaw and when you turn your head to allow him to explore, doesn’t hesitate to slowly nuzzle his way along your neck, nibbling here and there and causing your body to squirm, a soft whimper falling from your lips which he only answers with a deep, satisfied rumble from his chest.

Head tilting back up so that his nose brushes yours, he murmurs, “I don’t care what people think,” his alto is rough, so deep that it hits you with a wave of desire. You can’t help but notice his fingers which have somehow found a way to ghost up your thighs as he speaks.

Swallowing hard, you try to find your voice to answer him, “I--I don’t want this relationship to hurt your reputation--”

Another round of butterflies flutter up your chest when he drops a peck on your lips to shush you, “you think too much,” he mumbles against your mouth, pressing another chaste kiss, “about things that don’t matter.”

“Sunwoo, I--”

“Noona,” he gives you a hard look, dark eyes filled with an intensity, a depth that makes you wonder briefly whether he’s hiding a galaxy of feelings by the amount of tenderness echoing through his pools of dark obsidian.

“You can’t keep living for others,” he tucks some of your hair behind your ear, “and I’m not asking for much. All I ask is for you to give me a chance.”

He has a point. You’re always so self-conscious of what others might think that sometimes, you feel like it’s the reason why you’re so unhappy.

So as your eyes find his to answer his question, you dip your head down into a nod.

“okay,” you murmur. The man lets out a relieved sigh, before bringing you into another hug, one that fills your heart with a flurry of feelings you can’t quite place. Though you know they’re definitely tending towards the good side.

“You won’t regret it,” he whispers into your shoulder, pecking the side of your ear.

You shiver, arms wrapping a little tighter, “I know I won’t.”

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marshmallowprotection · 5 years ago

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Kait Reacts To The AE 13/13

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. This is the final reaction post.

Thank you for reading these if you have been here with me since the start as I let myself fall into this rabbit hole. You’ve watched me cry and react, and now we... have reached the end. But, it’s not the end of our story, it doesn’t just end when the camera fades to black. No. It won’t. It will continue in our hearts, and I will never forget what Mystic Messenger means to me. Not even when the game is over and I can’t reach it anymore to find my sense of comfort. It will always be in my heart.

This isn’t the end of me talking about Mystic Messenger. I have so many thoughts and theories ahead of me to talk about that I learned from this ending and what I will learn from the Bad Endings.

It was there for me when my life started to change. It was the lowest point in my life and the game saved me. I know it saved a lot of you, as well. So, this one is dedicated to Saeran. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, and thank you for giving me the faith to believe in myself. Thank you to the RFA, all of you, for being there for me. Just as I was there for you. You’ll never know just how much you mean to me.

I pray that our promise of happiness... that our four seasons... are spent together with all of us peaceful and joyful until the very end.

[10:00] THE FINAL END.

The final discussion before the end, huh? This is a chatroom with everyone where we’re talking about what’s to come. What’s to happen and the faith that we have in each other. Yoosung begins a discussion on the notion of Eternal Love without Pain or Eternal Love with Pain. It’s a fun little philosophical debate with the RFA as we go over the sweet and the sour. How things can be good but we in the end, nobody has to suffer to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Love will prevail in the end no matter what happens, whether you were hurt or not in the process.

I agree with that. Love exists no matter what. You don’t have to be hurt to be loved and you don’t have go through pain to be deserving of love. You can find love at any point in your life and you should cherish that as close to your heart as you can when you feel it for the first time. I liked being able to talk to the RFA about this because it’s... much of a release as I take the time to catch my breath and breathe.

Because... I know this is the end. I had to take some time to breathe and let this out before I played. I knew that it was going to affect me so I wanted to savor the moment as long as I possibly could. It was worth that. Although, I was already starting to cry but I laughed so when they let me break the fourth wall in this chat.

They call this a game of choices and freedoms that we all make and what do we call this game?

You can life, or you can say Mystic Messenger.

It won’t harm your choices once you’ve gotten to this point so you can say it and watch it play out. This is just a snippet of the conversation. I need you to get the rest of it for yourself because... it’s much different to experience then it is to hear about from me, you know? They wish me luck on my mission. I take it and I don’t look back.

This is on me now.

Now here comes the first visual novel mode that you have to pass before you can see the Good Ending. I know what the game wants me to do. It wants me to do as Saeran did. It wants me to have faith and to be kind, and it isn’t begging me to forgive anyone. It’s giving me the option to take that road if I want to take it and seeing what Saeran did, I’m willing to chance it. I’m willing to listen. I have given Rika and V one chance here to prove to me that they can acknowledge who they are and what they’ve done. It’s not shaming me like what happens in V’s After Ending, more or less. It’s letting me have that freedom.

Rika owns up to everything in front of me and bears out her heart. She knows that she has done wrong and she admits it. She admits everything and says that she will no longer run away from this or lie to herself. See, this is what I wanted. This is not asking much. I want her to admit that she’s wrong and say it. Mean it. You can’t grow if you don’t admit that you fucked up or did things wrong. This is what she needs.

I may not like her, and I may not forgive her. But, I’m willing to say that I took a chance to let her have that catharsis. She needed it more than I did. I may not like Rika but I don’t want her to be depressed and lost. In reality, I want her to be able to grow and find herself. I want her to face her crimes. I want her to live with that. But, I don’t want her to rot away in misery while serving her time. I want her to get better for herself.

She can have that.

But, only when admitting that she will pay for what she did. Only when she says that she will face reality. I don’t expect anyone to give her or V another chance or let them back into their lives, but at the end of the day, it feels like Rika will be able to work on herself while she repents for what she did in prison.

She can have that. I’m not angry about that. I couldn’t be. I may not be like Saeran, I may not be able to forgive the people that hurt me in my life, but I can give a chance to someone that wants to admit they were horrible and that they want to change.

Sometimes, it’s never too late for yourself. It may be too late to get back what you broke, but you can find yourself. At the end of the day, she needed that more than I did and I’m too nice of a person. Saeran decided to embrace and leave behind his hatred even though he still feels it. He won’t let it consume him anymore. I’m following after him because that makes me a better person. But, I know that Saeyoung and I have far more in common on the forgiveness front.

But, it felt like the right thing to do.

I don’t forgive her but I wish her emotional journey the best. Make something of your life as you face punishment, Rika.

Once this is over, we start to go and look for Saeran. But, we jump back to Zen and Yoosung. Jumin is announcing his bid for politics. He also announced his own company, Queen Elizabeth, which he will be using to create an intelligence team that will be able to work for the people and stop dirty politicians.

It’s a good idea, honestly. That’s very Jumin Han of them to go through with. Zen and Yoosung, however, are both surprised when they see that Jumin announces that Zen will be on their promotion team, Jaehee will be his chief organizer, and Yoosung is leader of the undergraduate unit. They did not know he was going to do that.

Jumin simply says: The RFA is inseparable from my legacy.

Saeran passed out during the night sometime during his emotional crisis when his phone died on us when we were talking to him. He thinks that he is okay, but when he raises his head, he realizes that he spoke too soon. Saejoong is here with his guards. Rika isn’t there, Saejoong is incredibly angry.

He insults and degrades Saeran the entire time, calling him things that I really shouldn’t at all repeat but let me just say that it’s in line with what Mother Choi said to him when he was growing up. He taunts him, and tries to kick him around, “You know, I could at least relate to Saeyoung, he’s smart and crafty. But you... you’ve got your mother’s face. Did you ever think that Saeyoung took all the talent from you from the start? You’ve always been weak.”

And this is the part of the story where I just lose my mind and I can’t just shaking from anger at Saejoong. He lashes out. He starts to hurt Saeran over and over again as if that’s going to solve all of his fucking problems. Saeran just lets him do it, too. He accepts it. He keeps his head raised high and he decides to the end, he will not let himself fall to his anger. If this is the end, he will not leave a mark of anger on this world.

He thinks of... me. In that moment before his body hurts too much for him to take the pain and he slumps over when it just becomes too much for him. And, that is when I start crying.

Visual novel ends.

I’m fucking sobbing at this point because I don’t know if this is meant to happen or if I’ve triggered the last Bad Ending. Even here, he’s putting his heart into all that he has. He refuses to stop choosing to be free and happy. This is all that he wants and he will not let himself die without leaving a good memory for me. He can’t handle the thought but he whimpers and the screen goes black.

The entire RFA calls after this and I sigh in relief because I must have done something right and this isn’t the end. to say that to Rika. They both need to face it for their crimes. But, even at the end of the day, Jumin Han is a great man.

They all let me know that they believe in me and from this point, everything is my choice. They let me know they believe in me but everything from here on is in my hands. This is my freedom. This is my choice. This is my ending and I get to choose that.

They make me smile through my tears as I’m playing because— The RFA will always be a family and a part of me. I let them know that I love them all, cause I do and then I hang up to start the final section of the game. I don’t know I’m ready but I have to be for Saeran. I’ll not forget that they have faith in me to do the right thing.

Oh, and before I forget, Jumin said to tell V that he needs a good lawyer, but not

He opens the scene. He admits the truth that I always knew. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay so badly but he saw no other choice for himself and he was never okay with it. I sense that he’s in the area as it jumps back to where I am. I’m with V, Rika, and Driver Kim. Saeran is where we left him the night prior by the water, and he’s on the ground about to be taken away by Saejoong Choi.

Like a pawn to end.

No.

Everyone tells me not to move. Not to go. But, I’m not going to let him get away and leave me. Leave the others. This is not his fate here. I won’t let him resign himself to that. So, I’m already risking everything and I’m not looking back, if we burn, we burn together, and if we live, we live together. There’s no other way for this to be.

Me: I love you.

Saeran: It’s no use. Now I can’t die. Because of you.

Me: Now should be happy with me, okay?

Saeran: ...

Saeran: .....

Me: No, no, no, wake up, Saeran, wake up!

I fear he’s gone for good for a minute there. I want to breathe, but Saejoong is the monster that he is. He immediately jumps to the blame game. He says that he can use this. He can blame me. He wants to use this against Saeyoung as it needs to be in his world, and then... he will use that man until he’s no longer got use. Then, he’ll let him die. It’s as simple as a transaction to him. I hate that. I really do.

I’m just so angry at him.

But, I know that Saeran wouldn’t want me to lose myself to that. More than anything, I pity this son of a bitch because does he really think this of himself to the point where nothing matters but his desires? His greed that deep? Is this all he wants? Saeran and Saeyoung never wanted this, and they never wanted to fight him. They just wanted to be able to live, that’s what I tell him, feeling that strength brewing.

I’m just so done with hurting Saeran.

He pauses, “Oh, that’s where he learned all of that nonsense.”

“Your heart much be a dark and lonely place. Doesn’t it hurt to be that way? No matter what you do, no matter how much pain and victory you make for yourself, at the end of the day, you’ll never stop feeling lonely. Isn’t that sad?”

He pauses because he thinks I’m either an idiot or I’ve lost my mind. He decides to hear me out on this one. I tell him that he will pay for everything that he has done thus far here, that’s a given. He scoffs. He said that maybe if it was just the agency, they might have been able to live, but they’ve done nothing but ruin his life. “Why don’t you see it from my shoes instead of the weaklings?”

“I’m sure something hurt you in your past. I can see that you locked away your heart and replaced it with a chain and cruelty.”

“...I’ve never seen someone as helplessly innocent as you. I don’t get it. It’s not me. It’s the world. You can only get what you want when you’re cruel.” He is very quick to explain his thought process. He thinks that if he never started to be this person then he would have never stopped shining the shoes of the elite instead of this. He says that you only win when you destroy. And, I decide to tell him what I know that Suit Saeran learned.

This isn’t forgiveness. This is me trying to understand why people are so cruel and why the hell they’re like this. I let him know that if he keeps being cruel that he is damning himself to isolation. He’s damned himself and he knows that he has done it. Even in that blackened heart, he knows the truth. I don’t think he cares to even think of it. Saejoong still enrages me and I can’t stand him, but I can see why he is the way he is.

Cool motive, still murder, bro.

He pauses again. He feels sick. He doesn’t believe that Saeran can be happier than him. He thinks that happiness can only come from destruction, and to be utterly honest, it’s the same thinking that Rika held in her hands and I hate that trait. If he survives all his battles, he says, then he is the victor no matter the details. The devil is in the details, don’t you know? I’ve struck a nerve because he starts to blame me.

“Don’t you know what their mother and those boys put ME through?”

Oh, I know what you went through, you fucking bastard. I don’t give a fuck about you. You’re a sad old man that has hurt others his entire life and you deserve to be put away for what you did to everyone. He starts to crack for real though, as he slowly realizes more and more that love isn’t something he can be capable of and it’s never something that he will get. It means nothing, which he knows is a lie. He is a monster, he knows, and his quest didn’t give him the time to look for something more. He says there is no changing things.

He has to use the twins or he’ll be dead.

I just look at him, tired. “You must be so lonely.”

Saeran stirs awake for sure, he must have been blinking in and out of his state of alertness. He looks at me for a moment but then he forces himself to his feet as fast as he can. I want to get him help, but he says to wait. He does something that I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of. He embraces his father and says that he must have been so lonely. That nobody ever understood him in his life and that he came this far by himself... how awful that must have felt all this time. It says that it must have been... “So hard.”

Then he falls out again.

I manage to catch him before he hurts himself and Saejoong remains in shock while Saeran thanks me.

And he pan away once more. Jumin tells everyone what happened. He said that his announcement went well. He also breaks the news that I was able to get to the point in time, intercepting Saejoong and Saeran before it was too late. He is really injured and but we’re on our way to safety. However, Saejoong got away at the last second.

Fade to black.

We return once again, this time we’re in a hospital room and I have to wait for a long minute as I collect myself and my tears. There’s just so much happening in this room all at once that I’m overwhelmed with what’s happening. Saeyoung is here. Saeran is still asleep, and it’s been three days. The media and everyone is turning back to our side. People are starting to see the RFA as good again, and there is no doubt that we’ve got a good story ahead. Saejoong is on the run as far as know, and I’ll get to Rika and V in a moment.

Saeyoung and I have another talk. I let him know that it’s okay. Saeyoung tells me that he finished with the agency. He says that the truth will be coming very soon, but he had to tell Jumin first before it went to the media. So, that is going to be happening. We no longer have to live in fear. The brothers no longer have to live in fear.

Saeyoung will never forgive Saejoong. I won’t, either. But, I do have to tell him that Saeran did forgive him. But, he says that Saeran is kinder and better than him in that aspect. I won’t let this happen again, he says. He wants to make up for being a bad brother. His to-do list is getting pretty long. I know that it will be okay in due time.

Vanderwood comes in and says that they hate to break the moment, but they need to go. Someone saw Saejoong nearby. He tells me to stay with Saeran as he.... he may not be safe. I do. I say I’ll tell him when he wakes up. He winds up leaving after that. I then tell Saeran it’s okay, and how longer does he want to play this sleep act?

I sort of expected that. He’s still trying to get himself ready to face his brother and it’s going to take time again. He’s got all the time in the world now but I know that he will let me know when he’s ready. Saeran says that he’s out of time and I am confused. Then he drops the bombshell that Saejoong came to see him and that HE’S IN THE FUCKING ROOM.

I’m like: WHAT?

Saeran grips my hand and shakes his head, “If I thought he would hurt you, I wouldn’t let you near him.”

Saejoong appears and says that he knows that Saeyoung won’t forgive him and that he will want to act out his revenge by putting him away. But, he is... okay with that? He says that almost losing all of his power and everything that he ever knew made him stop in his tracks, and he doesn’t understand why I told him what I told him, but—

“You two understood a part of myself that I abandoned. I felt something I didn’t know that I had anymore. That I forgot. I surely didn’t understand why you would say all that when you thought you were going to die, Saeran. I can’t stop thinking of the nonsense you all said.... sorry for the monologue. I need to catch up with Saeyoung. I won’t have to run anymore. I won’t have a beautiful life. I never found the way to that, but... maybe you two.... I must go. But, thank you. Thank you for saying what you did.”

“So, you had a change of heart?”

He’s simply decided to turn himself in. Nothing more. I’m left with Saeran and he smiles. I smile back. He’s finally free. He’s finally free of everything that held him down and I’m so happy for him. You did this Saeran. You did it and you found yourself in the end. I’m proud of you for that. I have to say that I’m not upset that you choose forgiveness. That felt right for you and I wasn’t upset about the way that that was handled. You choose that for yourself.

You’ve always had a kind heart.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that he’s going to let them into his life, but it will help him move on from what’s happened and I respect his choice. This is his freedom and it’s a beautiful thing to see.

It fades to black.

[6 MONTHS LATER.]

A chatroom opens. Jaehee, Yoosung, and Zen are there. They’re talking about what’s changed and what’s happening now. She’s still in charge of Jumin’s well, everything, but she’s steady in that job now. She’d rather be Zen’s manager, though, she jokes.

Jumin was elected to office, by the way. He’s on his way to changing the world. Zen made countless deals and he is on his way to Broadway. He’s going to be leaving soon but he’ll be back before anyone knows it. Yoosung is going to study abroad in France, can you believe it? He wants to a pastry chef! That’s alot better than being a vet, which we know that he wasn’t entirely passionate about.

I’m so proud of them! All of them!

Vanderwood went to their hometown. I wish them the best, too. Nobody knows a damn thing about them and we never will, haha.

Something to note: V will be released when his trials are over. It’s a foot note but they just say it simply. Nobody seems to be in contact with Rika and V and that is how it should be. Everyone is living their own lives now and they have every chance to decide if they want to forgive Rika and V, but I know that that isn’t going to be likely. Which, of course, But, it’s everyone’s choice. Yoosung is kind and says that he hopes for he best for V, that he will find a better life. They all agree with that.

But it’s obvious that nobody is going to interact with them again. I don’t blame them, I don’t want to, either. But, I do wish them whatever they can find that is good for them after they pay for the price of what they’ve done. I like how this was handled. This is how you play forgiveness and judgment. It’s not about how we handle this with rage, it’s about we handle our process personally. Freedom and choice are the theme of Saeran’s After Ending.

I stand by that.

I like this. I loved this while ride that we were on even though it hurt me on the way. It made me really happy. It made me really sad. It made me go through a whole cycle... and I needed that. I got a good chuckle out of this, though, and I can say that it made me smile. Fourth wall breaks are okay when they’re like this and they’re not like YOUR APRIL FOOLS DLC, HYUN RYU.

And the chat concludes as they talk about what Saeyoung has been up to and what Saeran and I have been up to lately. It feels like the RFA is going to go for their own ways for a little while, but we’ll always be interconnected with one another and this messenger is our space to share that with each other all of our days. No matter what happens, no matter where we go, we’ll always have the Mystic Messenger (Don’t Tell Jumin we renamed it) to come to when we need to have un with our family.

Because they are our family.

We are a family.

We will always be interconnected, just as Jumin Han said.

Then chatroom fades to black and I pause, knowing that the real end is ahead of me when I tap my screen. I take a deep breath and let it wash over me.

This isn’t the end of my love for this game, the characters, the people I’ve met because of the game, or the people that have changed my life. It’s been four years since I first opened the chatroom and I can say that I needed to know that it was going to be okay in the end. I feel like it will be okay in the end for me. I feel like it will be okay for Saeran, Saeyoung, and the rest of the RFA. I’m hitting the end here so forgive me, I’ve been crying since I finished this morning. I’ve been writing on this since I finished.

They gave me that. They gave me so much light, hope, and warmth. I will never forget them. I will continue to keep them in my heart. I hope they know that in the universe that is separating us. I feel like they know that. I like to think that they do, anyway. It’s not the end of my love. Love always persists and wins, don’t you know that?

It’s a lesson always lead your life with your heart first. Love hard, love fast, love stupid, love smart, love however you can and lavish yourself in that freedom and let it see where it takes you. Sure, there’s bound to be bumps in the road but it will be okay in the end, and at the end, that’s the message that I take away from Mystic Messenger today as I finish Saeran’s After Ending.

That your heart is something that you should cherish and never let go of. Thank you for everything.

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