#NOTS Apps

[benoits-neckerchieves]

The thing about having a terrible memory is that the only information i have about a film is whatever notes i wrote to myself on Letterboxd, which are usually… not particularly useful

Sounds like i had a great time tho 5 stars

[ovrgrwnivy]

THE WALLS ; JJ MAYBANK

SYNOPSIS ; when an unknown face appears in the outer banks searching for a father she's never met, she's unaware of how her life is about to be completely turned upside down.

WARNINGS ; jjmaybank x routledge!reader, strong language, depictions of violence, afab!reader, sexual content, mentions of abuse, drug and alcohol consumption, strangers to lovers, fast burn to slow burn, canon adjacent, not proofread.

AUTHORS NOTE ; buckle up pookies, as this is merely part one of a multi-part fic that spans as far as the end of season three ( on the fence about season four but we will see ). as noted above, this fic will be canon adjacent, mainly focusing on the storyline as portrayed in the outer banks chapters of the 'netflix stories' mobile app. without any more of my yapping, i hope you all enjoy!

you can't help but squint once you step off the bus, your dollar store sunglasses doing very little to shield your eyes from the burning, outer banks sun. you bring your hand up in an attempt to further protect your eyes, needing to make your way to the seahorse hotel and fast.

a flash of long, blonde hair invades your vision, something you don't think twice about until the body attached to said hair knocks right into you, saturating your white tank top with her oversized cherry-coloured drink.

there's a beat of silence between both of you, behind darkened lenses your eyes bore into the girl before you. if looks could kill.

"shit! i am so sorry!" the blonde apologises, face turning as red as the newfound stain on your shirt. her hand darts out in an attempt to miraculously wipe the stain away "oh god, this is so embarrassing."

a part of you feels empathetic, it was an easy mistake to make in hindsight. another part of you wanted to push past the girl and continue getting on with your day.

"my name is sarah," she continues rambling, her hand still frequently scrubbing at the stain, making it worse "i didn't get your name, well no shit" the last part is barely a mumble, but you still catch it.

an unintentional laugh escapes you, finding amusement in her panicked awkwardness "if i tell you will you stop feeling me up?"

it was a joke, at least mostly, yet sarah froze in horror as the realisation set in. she was feeling up a stranger at the bus stop.

before she can begin rambling again, you speak up "my name is y/n." purposefully, you drop the surname. sure, sarah seemed sweet, but that didn't warrant spilling your life story at her feet.

sarah nodded in acknowledgement, taking a step out of your personal space and taking a proper look at you "touron?"

your face screws up, it feels like she just called you a name you couldn't repeat "excuse me?"

"you're a tourist, right?" sarah clarified, gesturing towards the scruffy backpack hanging from your shoulder.

"not quite," you trail off, unsure of how to broach your new arrival without dropping yourself in hot water "just, in town for a while."

"unlucky you.."

"unlucky how?"

sarah links her arm through yours, all but dragging you down the street alongside her "i'll fill you in on the way."

your protests and kidnapping allegations fell on deaf ears, only being told to stop being dramatic as she dragged you along. eventually, the dragging falls back into you willingly walking with her through pristine neighbourhoods that housed buildings like nothing you had ever seen.

you listened as sarah explained the outlandish rules that accompanied living on the island. the outer banks were essentially split in half, the kooks and the pouges, the haves and the have-nots, the sarahs and the y/ns.

when her pace eventually stalls, you have to tense your jaw to stop your mouth from falling open. you had seen some serious houses on the way here, but compared to sarahs they looked like dives.

"welcome to tanneyhill" sarah beams, but you can feel the uncertainty bubbling inside her as if she was embarrassed "come on, i'll show you my room."

you follow her through the glass doors and into the manor, eyes intently scanning the walls as you climb the staircase "you make a habit of bringing random strangers into your house?"

"do you make a habit of going home with random strangers?"

"depends if they're my type."

your quick rebuttal elicits a laugh from sarah as she pushes the door open, waving you into her room and heading straight for the closet "and what is your type?"

"you sweet on me, stranger?" you tease, your playful tone making it clear you were simply messing with her.

"with my whole heart, newbie" she laughs, the contents of her closet being dropped to the floor as she rifled through it "but our secret love affair must remain hidden as i am a taken lady"

with a dramatic gasp, you slap your hand to your chest and fall back on the bed "you wound me."

"sarah 'the heartbreaker' cameron is what they call me." as you're processing her surname, a white cropped tank is flung at you from the opposite side of the room "now, come on, boy talk"

"what if i wanna girl talk?" you question, holding the piece of fabric up to examine it "sarah 'the homophobe' cameron more like"

as she crosses the room to sit alongside you, sarah rolls her eyes "my sincerest apologies, sex talk then"

"cameron now i really think you want me." you wiggle your eyebrows at her, huffing when she hits you with a pink pillow with a sparkly 's' "hey! watch the rhinestones"

"you know, i was gonna try play matchmaker at the boneyard tonight but if you wanna be like that.."

"you just said a lot of words with very little meaning" you tut, not fully clued in on the outer banks slang.

by now you have risen to your feet, standing between the bed and the window as you changed into the clean shirt, balling up the stained one and stuffing it in your backpack.

"its a pre-storm rager on the beach, the one place kooks and pouges get along. we party as long as we can and when the storm hits, run for cover"

you're only half listening to sarah, instead your attention hones in on the head of curly brown hair down on the dock as it moves along a boat named 'my druthers'.

you barely register the figure by your side, watching just as closely as you were as the brunette is joined by three others, laughing and joking.

"that would be john b," without looking you can hear sarahs grin, mistaking your fascination for attraction.

"routledge?" your mouth opens before your brain can stop it, you knew who it was, but you needed to hear it.

"you know him?"

finally, your brain catches up and you somehow manage to pull a lie out of your ass "not personally, saw him on tv. some appeal for his dad."

sarah bellows out a soft, sad sigh, letting her thoughts be known without saying a word. there's an unspoken air of silence between you, until sarah, literally, shakes it off and stands upright again.

"wanna meet him?" the blonde offers, despite the fact its more of a demand as you're being dragged along once again.

only this time your refusal is much clearer, practically begging the girl to let you go before she managed to get you out into the yard. again sarah is misreading the situation, interpreting your panic as awkward butterflies.

your demands persist, though much quieter as you're dragged further down the dock, closer to john b and his friends.

"hello, ladies" john b's blonde friend greets with a low whistle and a cheeky grin, shamelessly checking both you and sarah out.

for a moment your anxiety vanishes, your entire nervous system sparking still but for different reasons. this might be the most beautiful boy you've ever set eyes on.

this. this was your type.

"you're new" he speaks, gesturing towards you "that's for sure, yet to be a time i've forgotten a face like that." with a wink, he takes your hand to place a kiss on the back of it.

you curse god. why couldn't you have met this guy somewhere else? why wasn't he the blonde stranger that took you home?

"you done macking on the kook?" a girls voice echos from behind him, her words and her expression dripping with disgust as she eyed you.

"i'm not a kook." you bite back, sightly too aggressive for a first impression but you couldn't help it with the look of clear disdain embedded on her face.

sarahs arm links through yours, a mumbled "easy, newbie" falling only on your ears "y/n is new in town, i brought her down here while i found out what you guys are doing on my dads boat." despite her civility there's a challenging edge in her voice.

"lest ye forget, i work here."

john b, suddenly emerging from the ships hull and hurling a snide smile in sarahs direction. you had only ever seen him on fuzzy news broadcasts, he was taller than you had anticipated, confrontational too.

though, genetics could explain that one.

"can we help you?" the girl speaks again, sending your eyes rolling as you face john b.

"can you tell your guard dog to stand down? last i checked one of us was invited here and funnily enough it wasn't her"

you hear another boy mumble an excited "cat fight!" to your new, blonde, hyperfixation as they exchange money on bets.

"seriously? i expect this shit from jj but pope? disappointing" john b tutted, sounding like a disappointed father as he got off the boat "not looking for trouble, just bringing back the diving shit, full."

menial conversation is exchanged between sarah and john b, though your attention mainly resides with the newly named jj. he was leaning back against the boat, rolling a joint without a care in the world.

you try to keep the glances to a minimum, after all you had much bigger problems to wade through right now, but you simply couldn't look away. he was the definition of magnetic.

even when he catches you looking, there isn't a morsel of awkwardness, just a knowing look of curiosity that lingered far longer than it should have.

then, he winks. he fucking winks before returning to rolling with that stupid, insanely hot grin on his face. you were far from shy, and only for the audience around you, you would've jumped on him long ago.

any reckless ideas potentially coming to fruition is spoiled when sarah, still linked with you, retreats back toward tanneyhill. with a final glance back at jj, you hold your thumb and pinky to your ear and mouth 'call me', earning yourself a wink and a crossed heart in return.

maybe this wouldn't pan out to be a total shit show after all.

[madamdarcy]

Just a non-complete collection of some of my fave mark/hellyna fics out there, because sharing is caring:

over the threshold by fractions

---she's my beta but i'd recommend all of her writing even if she wasn't! This is a wonderfully soft, romantic story about all four versions of them interacting at the innie cabin.

Media Circus by marriedthediamond

---a extremely funny post-season 2 story told in social media posts, text message chains, and the notes app. Genuinely one of the best and most original fics I've ever read. It had me crying laughing and also squealing and kicking my feet.

Baird Creek by perpetual_novice

---a Notting Hill AU where where it-girl Helena Eagan meets Professor Mark Scout in a bookshop. perpetual_novice is absolutely the best at writing a romcom.

Starburned and Unkissed by Wthellyr

---a season one fic where Helly learns about her body (and her feelings for Mark). Very good characterization and some great smut.

and those wedding bells were ringing out our fate by Dee_needsaname

---AU where Mark and Helly have been married the whole time. One of my faves, very funny and romantic with some twists that will keep you always wanting more.

Heart Swells by Bellerophron

---A very sweet, tender and smutty oneshot, what more do you need?

acres of longing by lovetranscending

---an AU where Mark and Helly were married but divorced before the start of the series. I love this one, the emotions and feelings in it are just so good and keep you hooked.

Splittings by fruitpizza

---A post season 2 oneshot from Helly's pov, I feel like this one didn't get a lot of attention because it's written in the second person but its so good??? Please give it a shot if you haven't.

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 13

Financial Planning and Budgeting

Hello Goddesses! I know that talking about money, can feel scary or boring, but after working on our stress management tools yesterday, it's perfect timing to address something that's often a huge source of stress for many of us: finances.

First things first: if thinking about money makes you want to hide under your blanket, you're not alone. But taking control of your finances isn't about becoming a math genius or never buying another coffee again. It's about making friends with your money so it can help you live your best life.

Let's break this down into bite-sized pieces that won't give you a headache:

Start Where You Are

Remember when you first learned to ride a bike? You didn't start by doing tricks, you started with training wheels. Money management is the same way! First step: just look at your current situation. Open those banking apps you've been avoiding. Take a deep breath and look at your statements. Knowledge is power, even if it's a bit scary at first.

The Money Map Exercise

Grab a piece of paper (or open your notes app) and let's do something simple:

Write down all your income sources

List your regular monthly expenses (yes, including those sneaky subscriptions!)

Don't forget those irregular expenses like annual fees or seasonal costs

Look at what's left (or what's missing)

Congratulations! You've just created your first basic budget outline.

The 50/30/20 Guideline

Here's a popular way to think about your money:

50% for needs (rent, groceries, utilities)

30% for wants (fun stuff, shopping, entertainment)

20% for future you (savings, debt payment, investments)

These numbers might not work for everyone, especially depending on where you live. The important thing is to have some kind of plan that works for YOU.

Smart Money Habits You Can Start Today

The 24-Hour Rule: For non-essential purchases over a certain amount (you decide the number!), wait 24 hours before buying. You'd be surprised how many "must-haves" become "maybe nots" overnight!

Bill Calendar: Set up a simple calendar with all your bill due dates. Future you will be so grateful!

Automate Your Savings: Even if it's just $5 a week, set up automatic transfers to a savings account. It's like hiding money from yourself!

Track Your Spending: For just one week, write down every single purchase. No judging, just observing. You might find some surprising patterns!

The Emergency Fund Challenge

Let's start building that safety net! Even $500 in savings can make a huge difference in an emergency. Start with a goal of saving just $25 this week. Too much? Start with $10. Too little? Make it $50. The amount isn't as important as getting started.

Money Goals That Make Sense

Instead of vague goals like "save more," try specific ones like:

Save enough for three months of basic expenses by December 2025

Pay off one credit card by summer

Create a "fun fund" for that hobby you've been wanting to try

Your financial journey is exactly that, YOURS. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. The person on Instagram showing off their investment portfolio might still be paying off massive debt. Focus on your own path!

Your mission for today:

Look at your bank statement (I know, scary, but you can do it!)

Pick ONE money habit from this post to try this week

Set ONE specific financial goal for 2025

See you tomorrow for Day 14! Remember, every financial decision you make today is a gift to your future self.

[darksturnz]

sorry if this is an annoying ask:> but what are all your aus up to atm ?

SATURDAY, 9:40AM

TULIPS AND FORGET-ME-NOTS: star!reader x artist!chris

chris is crouched near the base of the slide, tying down a stack of helium balloons so they don’t float off like the last ones while eyeing the grill setup he still hasn’t touched. his shirt’s already sticking to his back and it’s not even noon.

star’s spreading out the picnic blankets under the big tree near the edge of the park, trying not to cuss in front of the kids while wrestling with a foldable table that won’t lock into place. she’s also trying to smooth the checkered tablecloth with one hand while scanning the park to make sure lila’s still in sight. lila’s got her birthday sash on crooked and is yelling about needing the purple cupcake.

SINNERS EMBRACE; boxer!matt x kitty!reader

matt’s at the gym, sweat soaking through the back of his shirt. he’s shadowboxing in front of the mirror, zoning in on the movement of his feet, jaw tight. he’s ignoring his buzzing phone in the locker room and hasn’t said much to anyone since he walked in. there’s a bruise blooming along his ribs from last night’s fight that he hasn’t iced yet.

kitty’s sitting cross-legged in the salon chair, phone in her lap while her nail tech smooths out the fresh acrylic. she’s sipping from an iced coffee that’s mostly melted and scrolling through her camera roll trying to find a better reference photo. she’s barely listening to the conversation around her, too caught up in her own head, mentally running through what she needs to pick up after this.

WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING: matthew sturniolo x honey!reader

matt’s on the porch, sleeves pushed up and hands deep in rotting wood. he’s halfway through tearing up the last row of planks, tossing each one into a wheelbarrow off to the side. sweat’s dripping into his eyes and he hasn’t taken a break. every now and then he pauses and stares out at the treeline like he’s trying not to think too hard about something. there’s a storm coming and he hasn’t figured out where he’s going to sleep tonight if the roof leaks again.

honey’s in her kitchen, barefoot, trying to reach the heavy flashlight off the top shelf without dragging a chair over. the windows are already taped in an X pattern and she’s got a small pile of towels stacked by the back door just in case. she keeps glancing at the radar app on her phone like the storm’s going to change its mind. her stove is off but there’s a half-mixed bowl of cornbread batter waiting in case the power holds.

LUCKY US; stem!reader x madison beer

seven’s behind the register at the shop, ringing up a regular who found three rings and a mesh top. there’s a stack of new inventory by the dressing room she hasn’t even touched yet. she’s got matcha in a cup sweating through the sleeve and a post-it note on the register with the phrase “don’t forget to eat.”

madison’s holed up in a studio downtown, hair pulled up, chewing the end of a pen while a new demo loops through the speakers. her notebook’s open on her lap, page half-filled with scratched-out lyrics. she hasn’t slept much and it shows. there’s a coffee cup with her name spelled wrong on the lid and her phone’s face down on the floor, ignored. her team’s waiting for her to send the file, but she’s stuck on one line she keeps rewriting.

[essential-music]

George Michael's "Fastlove," released in 1996, stands as a towering achievement in pop music, a track that seamlessly blends innovation, emotional depth, and irresistible groove into a timeless masterpiece.

Its musical quality is defined by a meticulously crafted production that fuses disco, P-Funk, and soul into a sound that feels both futuristic and eternal. The song's genius lies in its ability to balance a pulsating, danceable rhythm with introspective lyrics, all anchored by Michael’s singular voice—a velvety instrument of unmatched clarity and soul.

At the heart of "Fastlove" is its flawless production, a sonic tapestry that weaves together smooth saxophone riffs, a funky bassline, and a groundbreaking transition to Patrice Rushen’s "Forget Me Nots" around the three-minute mark. This shift, with its iconic bass groove, elevates the track to legendary status, creating a moment of pure musical euphoria that feels as fresh today as it did nearly three decades ago. The arrangement is both sophisticated and accessible, with every element—sax, vocals, and rhythm—perfectly balanced to create a "pure groove" that compels movement.

Michael’s vocal performance is nothing short of extraordinary. His voice, often described as one of the finest of the 20th century, glides effortlessly between sensuality and vulnerability. He sings with a loving, almost intimate quality, infusing each line with a sense of romance and longing. Whether delivering the upbeat refrain or the poignant “I miss my baby,” Michael’s voice carries an emotional weight that resonates deeply, making the song feel both celebratory and bittersweet.

The songwriting further distinguishes "Fastlove" as a work of art. The lyrics are intelligent and layered, capturing the thrill of fleeting romance while subtly exploring themes of loneliness and unfulfilled desire. Lines like “In the absence of security” reveal a man grappling with emotional voids, yet the track never loses its seductive swagger. This duality—pairing introspective storytelling with an infectious beat—sets the song apart as a prescient commentary on modern hook-up culture, anticipating the dynamics of 21st-century dating long before the advent of apps.

Musically, "Fastlove" is a triumph of genre fusion. It marries pop’s accessibility with funk’s grit and soul’s warmth, creating a sound that is both timeless and ahead of its era. The track’s rhythm is hypnotic, its saxophone elements smooth yet electrifying, and its subtle dig at Sony—via the cheeky "Fony" headphones—adds a layer of wit that underscores Michael’s artistic control. Every detail, from the choreography of its energy to the polished production, reflects a master at the peak of his craft.

In essence, "Fastlove" is a testament to George Michael’s brilliance as a singer, songwriter, and producer. Its innovative sound, emotional depth, and undeniable groove make it one of the greatest pop songs ever crafted—a track that continues to captivate with its sensual, soulful, and utterly exhilarating spirit.

Year: 1996

Composition/Lyrics: George Michael, Patrice Rushen, Freddie Washington, Terri McFaddin

Producer: George Michael, Jon Douglas

[junewild]

hello, no pressure to answer this is you don't want to. But do you have any advice for navigating dating apps, specifically in looking for a queer relationship 😭 I'm starting to seriously consider trying it out but it's very intimidating to me because the people I've dated have all been through social vicinity connections

all the best regardless of if you have advice or not, I hope the incoming month treats you and your loved ones with kindness :)

Oh, this is so lovely! Thanks for trusting me enough to ask something like this. I’m going to write the post I wish I’d read when I started diving into dating apps, and hope that some of it will be helpful to you! I would apologize for how long it’s going to be, except I won’t because this is who I am at heart, a fact that my dating profiles reflect in full. 

Here are my qualifications: I met a LOT of exes on dating apps. I get 1-3 intros a day on OkCupid and I have 1200+ likes waiting for the next time I'm brave enough to open my Feeld. I also met my husband there, and he happens to be one of THE most successful men who's ever used a dating app. 

First off, you will always, always do better on the apps if you approach them from an attitude of plenty instead of scarcity. Bring your best self, living your best life, because you—and the people you’re interested in—deserve that. You’ll be more successful, find better people, and build stronger relationships if you work towards that. If you don’t have a therapist and are able to acquire one, do that. 

How to Use Dating Apps

Before You Download the Apps, Answer These Three Slow and Complicated Questions

1: Who are you?

The best dating profiles are extremely individual. Almost without exception, the most successful people have put a lot of thought into who they are and what they want. Figure out what you like about yourself. What do people compliment you for? What are you excited about? What’s your idea of a good time? The more specific you can get, the better. 

Some people belong to the school of “I’ll be (or at least pretend to be) whoever the person I want to be with wants me to be.” Don’t do that. It’s not kind to either of you. 

Some people feel like “I need to be the most palatable/generally accepted version of myself possible.” Also don’t do that. You don’t want someone who’s interested in palatable people—you want someone who’s interested in you. If they don’t love you at your boiling roadkill and hanging the bones in your kitchen to dry, they don’t deserve you at your making the world’s most pleasant small-talk with your soon-to-be-in-laws. 

2: Why are you using a dating app?

I don't mean "why the fuck would you do that?" I mean—what's your goal? Do you want to hook up with people? Date around a little bit? Make friends to go to the club or the grocery store or the forest with? Find the love of your life, adopt six children, and move to the middle of Brazil to raise ocelots? There are no wrong answers. And sometimes the answer is "I don't know! I'm trying to figure that out." That's okay! But you should have an answer, regardless of how many commas and asterisks it includes. You should also figure out how much time you want to spend on the apps—whether that’s swiping, texting, or going on dates with people. 

Personally, my answer is that I have a full life with many people that I love and I’m extremely picky, so I’m only looking for people that I’m genuinely excited about connecting with, and I have an evening or two free a week and maybe a weekend a month to check the apps, swipe a little, or spend time with the right person. 

3. Who are you looking for?

You’ve figured out what you want. Now, think about who you want to do that with. What are your must-haves, your would-likes, and your absolutely-nots? These can be as substantial or petty as you’d like. 

I like people who use good grammar and diverse word choices without sounding pretentious about it, people who mention cosplay, Ren Faire, TTRPGs (only if paired with something else), or LARP, people who are outdoorsy/sciencey, people with many interests, people who are very crafty, people who seem like they have a rich and full life and are looking for more people to enjoy it with, and people who have pets. The more categories they tick, the better. 

On the other hand, I won’t swipe right on any man who mentions finance, doesn’t have at least one nerdy hobby, has only selfies, is cishet, talks a lot about sex, uses too many emojis or the word “spiritual,” says “I get along with just about everyone,” or has a name that starts with the letter “J.” I won’t swipe right on any woman with microbangs, who calls herself a “final girl” unironically, mentions astrology too often, or says "girl dinner."

Am I missing out on some lovely people? Probably, but I’m okay with that. 

Which App?!

There are many dating apps, and their utility varies. Do you want quick hookups? Grindr and Tinder are for you. Do you want broad dating pools? Try Hinge and Bumble. Are you looking for specifically queer, kinky, and/or polyamorous folks? Your best bets are OkCupid and Feeld. Do you want a unicorn or to be a unicorn? 3Fun; good luck. These may vary slightly based on your location. Maybe do a little research, and don’t be afraid to try more than one. 

Depending on who you are and what you want, you can get pretty far with the free versions. I’ve never paid for a dating app. Most of them give you a certain number of free superlikes and/or ways of introducing yourself above and beyond just swiping. But if you’re looking only for very specific people, in a rural area and willing to drive further, or a man who worries about desirability, paying for one could be a good option for you. 

Making a Profile

Every app is going to be a little different here. Some of them have strict character limits, and some of them let you go as long as you want. I’m separating this into two separate sections, one for photos and one for text.

Name:

Many people use a pseudonym of some kind. You do you!

Photos:

A picture really is worth a thousand words! Your first photo should be one that you really like the way you look in. Confidence is key! For the rest, pick photos that show your personality and lifestyle as much as they capture your good side. Ones that show you doing favorite activities or with your friends and pets are great, as long as the casual viewer can easily tell which one is you. Fish photos are fine, if you like fishing and you want to date someone who likes that you like fishing. Ideally they should be well-framed and well-lit. I’ve found a lot of success with a couple of mirror selfies, a couple of professional shots, and a handful of photos snapped by friends while I was at the beach, on the climbing wall, in the woods, or at the club. If you need to take some new ones just for this, that’s okay! Pick your friend who’s the best photographer, a couple of outfits that flatter you, and run around for a day having fun! 

Pro tip: have your photographer tell you awful jokes or make funny faces while they’re taking your pictures. People are at their most attractive when they’re laughing. Do not pose. Even my best mirror selfies are ones that I took while losing it. 

Text:

First and foremost, your profile should sound like you. Be your most authentic self. You’ve already figured out who you are, why you’re here, and what you’re looking for, so now it’s time to tell other people. Imagine you're telling me, or your best friend, or your bartender. Your goal is for everyone who’s a good fit for you to swipe right—and for everyone who isn’t a good fit for you to self-select out of your dating pool. 

Well-written is a bonus, but don’t beat yourself up too much if you’re not super articulate or good at grammar. As much as you can, show, don’t tell. (I’m very smart! I don’t need to tell the people reading my profile that. They can tell.) 

Possible sections include, but are not limited to: 

2-3 sentence summary of yourself (bonus points if you can frame it creatively—if you’re a true crime girlie, you can say “The Dateline episode about my life will say that I’m X, but they’ll probably forget to mention the Y.” But this is completely optional!)

2-3 sentence summary of what kind of relationship you’re here for and how much time/energy you’re willing/able to devote to it. and what you aren’t here for, but focus on the positive for now. 

2-3 sentence summary of the kind of people you’re excited about (“I go weak in the knees for ___”

your hobbies (passion is sexy!!! people are interested in interesting people!)

your values/politics (if this is important to you. and if you’re following me, you know I think the personal is political, so hopefully it is)

religion, if that’s important to you

your kinks, if applicable (keep this fairly vague—we’re talking “service domme looking for pillow princess,” not your greenlist)

your top date ideas 

the best compliment you’ve ever gotten

things about you that might be dealbreakers for others (“I wear a lot of perfumes!” “I am NOT a night owl.” “I hate texting, if you want long conversations before meeting up I may not be your person.” 

facts about you that people often say “oh that’s so cool!” to, like your hula hoop championship title, your weekend job measuring the radiation levels of mushrooms in superfund sites, your childhood trip to Antarctica, the living room table you made for yourself—things that make you stand out. ideally without being braggadocious)

Under no circumstances should you be any of the following: self-deprecating, insecure, whiny, incel-ly, overly derogatory or condescending to others, slut-shamey, guilt-trippy, aggressive, or “not like other girls/guys.” Those are huge turn-offs for most reasonable people. Nothing will make me swipe left faster than “6’0, if that matters to you,” “I’ve been catfished one too many times,” “Looking for someone with low standards,” “So tired of my intro getting deleted,” “Unlike everyone else here,” “I’m toxic 😜,” “We both know what we’re here for,” “I’m not here to buy you dinner,” “Just hoping someone will give me a chance,” any comparison to a shelter animal, or the use of the word “Sapiosexual.” Hopefully you already know this and are gasping at these things that I’ve seen in actual profiles. I wonder why they can’t get a date? We may never know. 

(My personal least favorite is “open to monogamy or non-monogamy,” because in my experience that’s either someone who’s desperate for anything or someone who’s going to pretend to be fine with poly until I don’t magically decide to break up with everyone else and be exclusive with them. Either way, ew.)

Using the Apps

Preface: 

Your experience of dating apps will depend a lot on a) your gender (and/or how people map gender onto you) and b) your desired gender/s. It will also depend on how much work and thought you're willing to put into it. And, like everything else, it is a skill. The more you practice, the better you'll get.

Gender: 

This will have to be fairly general because you're on anon, and does not reflect how things should be, only how I've experienced them. As always, there are many exceptions to these rules.

Women, or people who are perceived as women, or people who occupy traditionally female dynamics in relationships, will typically receive a lot more interest. Many men will swipe right on anyone they'd fuck.

Men, or people who are perceived as men, or people who occupy traditionally male dynamics in relationships, on the other hand, tend to get fewer matches. Many women will swipe right only on people that they really like. They're also expected to do more of the initiating—sending intros, making the first move, etc.

This is still true if you're looking for queer relationships.

Writing Intros: 

If you want to get people’s attention, intros are the way to go. I usually don’t, but I also usually don’t swipe right on people period. But if you’re serious about finding people on the apps, this is a skill you should practice. 

The format for this differs between apps, but a good rule of thumb is that your intro should be specific to the person, explain what sets them apart, highlight something non-sexual you appreciate about them, draw a parallel between the two of you, and/or ask a question/suggest a topic of conversation; and be somewhere between two and four sentences. 

“You’re exactly what I’m looking for.” Cool, I don’t care. Are you what I’m looking for? Not if that’s how you introduce yourself, that’s for sure. 

People who comment on my appearance are instant nos. I hear “you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen!” on a regular basis and even if you aren’t being creepy about it I don’t care about your opinion on my looks. What are you interested in about me as a person?

People who give me a genuine compliment (“I love your sense of style!” “You write with so much empathy!” “You have great taste in TV shows!”) are very appreciated. 

People who comment on my hobbies are engaging. Yes, ask me about my passions, I did already want to infodump. And you share them? I love that for both of us. Tell me all about it. If you happen to mention the Welsh, I will swipe right on you just to talk about Welsh idgaf

People who say “I don’t think we’re looking for the same thing in a relationship, but I’d love to grab coffee and be friends!” are a joy and a treasure. 

When I superliked my husband (yes I’m cringe don’t @ me), I sent him “The only problem is that I like all those date ideas equally. Help me pick one and we’ll raincheck the others?” This is probably on the far end of how forward you can be and not come off as creepy, it was cheesy as hell because he’s so attractive I blacked out, it definitely works better coming from a very femme person, and you can make some educated guesses about which specific parts of his profile I was appealing to. It did work though

Messaging: 

This is going to be highly individual. Try not to take anything too seriously, and just be yourself. Respond as quickly or slowly as you’d like, schedule a date when you want, unmatch if you stop having fun. Not messaging someone back after a day is not the same thing as ghosting. 

Dates:

Never let someone pick you up for a first date. 

Stay in public. 

Make sure someone knows where you are and who you’re with.

An activity you can do in the same direction while chatting is great! It’s more fun and less stressful than coffee or dinner, where it can be hard to relax. They also show you more of how the other person interacts with the world, which can be revealing (or cute!). I’m a fan of climbing, board games, bowling, or sip and paint.

Don’t go on a second date with anyone who’s rude to service workers. And if someone negs you, call me and I’ll kill them. 

Trust your gut. If it feels like something is off, it is. 

Leave if you aren’t having a good time. I don’t care if it’s rude. 

I give you permission to say “no” to anything you don’t like, AND “yes” to anything you do like. Everything else is up to you. Hug them or don’t, go home with them or don’t, call them the next day or don’t. (Personally I find that looking forward to things I haven’t done yet is better than regretting things I have, but I’m also a very demi gray-ace person, so your mileage will absolutely vary on that.)

Go forth, baby queer! Conquer the dating apps! If you think of any specific questions, ask them! Let me know how it goes! I’m excited for you. 

[alexlwrites]

From my notes app: grieving over your ex lover

Tw: sad as fuck

Based on this request from @morningglory18 : "Hey I just want to request you a fic where the fl had a dead first love , whom she always chases after but it is always Namjoon who catches her when he realised she is really gonna fly away"

***

It was April 29th again.

How long had it been since the last one? A couple weeks? 365 days? A lifetime? You weren't sure, but the earth had once more completed a circle without you even assimilating the last one.

Your body still ached from phantom pains - a non-existent weight in your left ring finger, the impact of a car crash you never lived, shards of a still broken heart and loss, dear lord, so much loss. How could someone even lose something that they already no longer have?

But every April 29th reopened a wound barely stitched together and you felt the burden of another year lost, a multitude of days that could've been lived as someone's wife but instead barely could be called a widow - after all, there was no wedding. There was only a white dress, a pair of rings and a call from the hospital that sent you into a spiral of unfortunate events and ripped your soul from your body.

Every April 29th brought a slew of what-ifs and if-onlys that buried you under the avalanche of painful possibilities. If that driver had never been drinking, if he had left earlier, if the wedding had been scheduled to the next saturday... Every minimal detail added to insurmountable strands - different paths and roads that could've been taken in a different life.

In a different life, you could've been Yoongi's wife.

In a different life, you could've kissed him on an altar and went on to start a new chapter written together. You could've watched him put together your shared furniture, made him coffee and kissed his pink tinted knucles. In a different world, you could've built a family together, slanted eyed babied and fluffy brown dogs, maybe even a black cat. In another universe, you would've watched someone's first steps guided by his long fingers wrapped around a tiny chubby wrist. In a separate world...

"Love" someone called snapping you out of your morbid fantasies and you turned to see Namjoon offering his hand.

You took it and stood up from the ground, interlacing your fingers with his and bringing them to your lips as you walked away from the forget-me-not adorned grave, silent and contemplative. In another life, things could've been different, but in this one you were given catastrophic grief by fate and its antidote by the same hand. The same prophecy that had taken away Yoongi from your sobbing grip had gifted you Namjoon.

Namjoon who also lost his best friend and had been the first one to reach for you as crumbled to the floor in a white gown; who had been forever patient and understanding, a buoy in the storm as disgrace had rained from the skies ; who stood back to back with you as you leaned on each other to stand up once more ; Namjoon who bought the forget-me-nots and took you where you needed every April 29th.

"I miss him" you said.

Namjoon nodded "Me too. Everyday."

Namjoon helped you into the car and drove away softly, his hand never leaving yours, tethering you to this lifetime where you were now his, six years after being someone else's.

***

Permanent taglist: @imknewattis ; @dreamamubarak ; @onlythebest-106 ; @betysotelo18 ; @havetaeminforbreakfast ; @chimchimmarie ; @anaya123world ; @junecat18 ; @kayleefriedchicken ; @jkselcouth ; @ivrose21 ; @svnbangtansworld ; @starlight-1010 ; @borahaetelevision ; @starstreasurechest ; @daddyjoonie ; @cryingpages ; @vkjmjjk ; @yoonzmoonlight ; @beautyiisterror ; @canarystwin ; @whoa-jo ; @bloodyrose22 ; @nikkiordonez12 ; @jinsleftairpod ; @minii204 ; @bands-r-my-heros ; @elissasimp ; @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d ; @urlovelily ; @pwd54gr54 ; @xstfudaisyx ; @purplelobb ; @persnyako ; @madi-19 ; @btsizlyfe ; @btsgangleader ; @sweetrookie ; @97gang ; @starlight-1010 ; @futuristicenemychaos ; @tesscoposts

[justforbooks]

Fancy getting poetry performances and DJ sets all in one place?

A growing number of event organisers across the UK are putting their own spins on literature readings – and there are queues out the door

On a Saturday evening in London’s Notting Hill, a large crowd of moderately tipsy young people are spilling into a tailor’s shop on Portobello Road. A passerby could easily assume they were walking past a fashion pop-up attracting a stylish herd of fanatics. But they’d be wrong. The buzzing crowd is here for a live reading event, and they’re eager with energy and anticipation.

Soho Reading Series began in the summer of 2023 and was founded by Tom Willis, a writer and PhD student. He wanted to make a “scene where anyone could turn up, party, and have a killer time with literature as the centre,” he says over an extra-dry martini a couple of hours before one of the events.

Live literature readings are, of course, nothing new. Salons, bookshop readings, poetry slams and open mics have been fixtures of literary cultures for decades. However, lately this tradition has been revitalised, with events like the Soho Reading Series cropping up all over the country.

Willis was inspired by the cultural heyday of Soho in the 80s and 90s, an era when writers and literary types coalesced in the boozy backrooms of private members’ clubs. Unlike its name, the Soho Reading Series migrates with each event to different venues across the city – from a Grade II-listed pub in Harringay to a Victorian Anglican church on Ladbroke Grove.

“If you’re a published writer, you might go to your publishing house’s Christmas party, and everyone just knows each other there. That’s the professional literary scene, and then we’re the unprofessional literary scene.” Willis says with a smile.

“Scene” is a word used by many of the event’s attendees – but only ever while miming air quotes. I guess this is because the word implies an air of pretentiousness and exclusivity. In reality, these events are unassuming and attract a diverse and expanding crowd. There’s no immovable barrier, secret password or even a ticket to enter – anyone can walk in.

“It’s a party of like-minded people who care about literature. So that’s why it’s such a good party, because everyone cares about the same thing, and everyone’s not there for their career. They hang out with people who like books and have something nice to share,” says Willis.

Soho Reading Series is just one vein in a growing web of live reading events. The audience is young compared with the average literature festival crowd and it attracts a devout congregation of both literary and party-curious individuals.

“Some people come for a party. Some people come for readings. People often end up staying for the thing that they hadn’t planned to come for,” says Sophie Barshall, editor of London-based quarterly DIY arts and culture newspaper The Toe Rag, which also hosts popular live readings.

Inside the tailor’s shop on Portobello Road, the readings begin an hour late. There is no microphone; each reader flicks through printed sheets of paper or scrolls through the notes app on their phone, attempting to project their voice over shuffling, mumbles, momentary laughter and heckling. The shop – usually populated by people shopping for cashmere socks – is full to capacity. The audience has leaked out on to the pavement, and a young woman next to me is FaceTiming a friend outside so they can hear what’s going on.

What is being read aloud is unrestricted by theme or genre. The readings jump from excerpts of short stories published in Granta magazine to a five-star Google review of the 2007 Pixar film Ratatouille.

Most of the people I speak to have“never been to something like this before but came across the event through social media or a writer’s Substack and decided to give it a try. Avid readers and amateur writers make up around half of those in attendance, but a significant portion of people tell me they are there purely because they like the idea of being considered literary.

As the reading ends and we move from one local pub to the next, a young man drunkenly confesses that “he doesn’t even enjoy the readings that much” – he just comes to “meet the types of people who would enjoy it”.

“It’s probably not for everyone,” Willis says. “It’s boring unless you’re really engaged in it. It’s free and open to everyone, but it does self-select. But that’s the scene – that’s why literature is so good for scene making.”

In Glasgow, a number of reading series such as thi wurd and Shrill have emerged in recent years. Waterwings Press, which has been hosting live reading events in the city’s south side since 2020, was set up by Leo Bussi, who moved to Glasgow wanting to discover its art scene and meet different people. “I thought the best way to do that is to message someone on Instagram and say, ‘Hey, do you want to read for my reading?’” he says.

Each Waterwings event is made up of readings by five writers: some are seasoned performers, others are first-time readers. Contemporary poetry is the most represented genre alongside what Bussi loosely defines as “art writing” – a mixture of autofiction, art and literary criticism.

“It’s like taking a piece of spaghetti and throwing it against the wall to see if it’ll stick,” he says. “There’s an improvisation to the evening, which can be incredibly stressful but also gratifying because when it works, it really works.”

Though there are plenty of people with formal writing qualifications at these events, and I spot a number of attendees sporting the go-to literary status symbol, a Daunt Books tote bag, this new approach to live readings feels separate from the world of mainstream publishing. If anything, these are spaces specifically curated to rail against it.

In trade magazine the Bookseller’s 2025 survey of publishing salaries, 73% of respondents said they were middle class and 86% that they were white. Because so many publishing staff members “come from the same background”, they “picture the reader as someone like them and people they know,” says Rachel Connolly, a writer and regular on the London live reading circuit.

Connolly co-hosts a series called New Work alongside her friend and writer, Isis O’Regan, a dedicated space for fiction writers to litmus-test new, unpublished work with an audience. The series debuted last July; previous readers include authors Eliza Clark, Gabriel Smith and Nicole Flattery.

“Our ideal reader is really good at writing, funny, sexy and a bit weird, a bit out there. In the digital age, writers probably know each other online from Twitter and Instagram, but it’s way nicer to come and meet people and listen to their work, hear their voice and actually put a body to the impression that you have of someone,” Connolly says.

“But maybe people are also trying to get laid,” she adds, half jokingly.

This seems to be a common theme – Willis often begins a Soho Reading Series event by jokily suggesting that audience members get with someone they find attractive – and is another reason that attending them feels more like going to a music gig than a literature fixture.

“It’s meant to be enjoyable,” says poet and musician James Massiah, whose east London reading series Adult Entertainment is all about “party poetry”. His nights typically begin with audiences sitting on the floor listening to performances by poets and rappers, before a DJ takes to the decks and the dancing begins.

“What do people like at parties? They like dancing, they like meeting someone they fancy, they like hearing some tunes and they like getting it on,” he says. “I want the writing to reflect that, and I want the mood to reflect that as well.”

“Any live literature event is about bringing work into the world and sharing it with others,” agrees Joey Frances, a poet and organiser of the long-running reading series Peter Barlow’s Cig based in Manchester, named after the chain-smoking character from Coronation Street.

“You’re hearing one another, you’re feeding back from one another, you’re hanging out, you’re having fun.”

Fun is the key to the success of these events, Massiah thinks. “It’s not a lecture. It’s like the spirit of dance or dub sound systems where people congregate for the music. It’s like that, but people are congregating for the words.”

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[kernyen-xo]

Long time!

Firstly, how y’all been? I’ve been wandering in from time to time and reading some of your posts. I just haven’t felt like posting myself until now.

Here we go.

What In the World: I walked out of Daiso and almost gave this woman a heart attack trying to get into my parked vehicle. My first thought was why in the world was this lady sitting in my vehicle, and why in the world the driver’s seat of all things?! I mean, why not the passenger side or the backseat?? And, why won’t my key unlock the door!? And then, almost immediately, after trying to open the door a second time, I was like, “Hold on now.. Uh oh. Oh no, this isn’t my vehicle!” Holy hot pockets! I immediately backed away, put up my hands, and told her, “I’m sorry,” several times, and then said, “My mistake, wrong car.” She just stared at me through the closed window, scared shitless. In case she didn’t understand what I said, I stepped back and gave her a respectful bow, and then hurriedly got into my car, which was parked in the next row. I hoped that when she saw me drive away, she was able to put 2+2 together because we had the same vehicle (same make, model, and color). Needless to say the humiliation of it all stuck with me the remainder of the day. I am such a dweeb.

Houston, We have a Problem: Went to Houston last month for my niece’s wedding. I just want to say that I don’t get why Houston is the 4th most populous city in our nation. I mean, the weather. It is pretty miserable. It was super humid and most of us were bitten by these mutant mosquitoes! Every wedding event my niece had was outdoors or it didn’t have A/C. Like the inside pickleball courts. She had a farewell outdoor crawdad boil for her guests, and the wedding and reception were also outdoors. All the events were pretty much held in the Heights area, which despite the weather is a nice historical area. But, you know what? I was glad that I went to Houston because my niece had a great wedding. I loved catching up with my nieces and nephews! I loved the serve yourself margaritas machines! Great people and great food and drinks! The kid and I went to Tenfold, a popular coffee place where I had my first cold brew with lemonade. It was was delicious and refreshing. On another day, the kid and I walked to have breakfast at this cafe with a great vibe. Attached to it was an antique shop, which we perused after we ate. We also did some shopping at Rice Village. We wanted to visit San Antonio but our schedule couldn’t spare the time.

The Kid Jr: My granddaughter graduated from the 8th grade last week! I’m so proud of her. I gave her a Kindle, which I was pretty excited about because she’s starting to enjoy reading, something she didn’t like before.

Saying Good-bye: I also attended my aunt’s funeral last week. Out of 8 kids, it’s just my mom and Uncle Junior that remains. It seems like yesterday when my generation of cousins were kids and our parents were still young and getting into their own shenanigans. It was a sad and bittersweet day. There were a lot of relatives that I didn’t even know, all of them cousins.

Books: I splurged. I decided I needed to start building up my personal library. It’s been a while since I’ve bought an actual book. I have been reading on my kindle or listening to audiobooks from the library app, Libby. It was time to start reading from actual books and adding to my home library. I used to have over 1,000 books but I got rid of most of them because it was becoming too much to pack and move them - especially when I was moving about 3 times a year. But now I have my own home and I’m not planning to move - at least for 5 years.

So, let the book buying begin!

The current book:

If you love birds, you’ll enjoy this book. Amy Tan’s backyard is a bird’s paradise. In this world of birds, you’ll learn about their habits, heartbreak, wonderful curiosities about the whys and why nots of birds’ actions. A lot of times unexplained, but if you are an avid bird watcher like Amy, her reasonings as to why the out of ordinary behaviors were interesting and entertaining. You will enjoy her drawings too.

The Kid and Me: Here’s what we did at the wedding 😆

The beautiful bride and her groom:

(Houston, The Heights May 2024)

How can they look so good in the sticky weather?

The Kid takes a picture of Yours Truly: (Grass Valley, May 2024)

My Loves:

(Sac-Town May 2024)

This post has been brought to you by Toodles, Inc.

[alondrasthoughts]

Blog Post (Due 02/13/2025)

How can we apply the digital divide theory to today’s education system? 

The digital divide theory refers to the gap between the haves and the have-nots in relation to access to the internet and digital technology (Everett, 2002, pp. 130). Using this idea, we can apply it to today’s education system by looking at which communities lack the proper resources like technology to educate children properly. This theory recognizes that there is a gap between those who have access and those who do not. Highlighting this problem helps unfold the fact that each school offers a different amount of access to technology. There are some schools who may afford it and others who do not. This is important when talking about allocation of funding because each child should receive an equal number of resources to succeed.   

How does biases affect the development of new technology? 

As new technology is consistently being produced it’s important to understand what goes behind its creation. Technology codes are a tool to facilitate and are filled with biased information that can take years and long process to erase and update (Benjamin, pp.23-24). These codes are the bases for creating technology and the creator’s own biases can affect the development of them. When a person is creating an app, website, or software in general they have vision for the said technology. If the person has certain biases the structure will reflect this and be created around it. When thinking about how technology should be created it’s important for the creators to not include their biases and if they do an investigation should be held. This is to protect the users from any harm that could have caused the modern technology to their lives in any aspect. If there’s no regulation serious harm can be produced, and difficult consequences follow.  

How can the emergence of recent technology contribute to the biases that exist today? 

In today’s world, there’s a lot of biases across the board and technology can be a tool to promote and spread such biases. “Tech advances (...) could not exist without data produced through histories of exclusion and discrimination” (Benjamin, pp. 30). The data used to create technology have roots of being biased and is used to this day to create technology. If we want to live in a world where race, gender, sexuality, etc. is not a problem when accessing basic things such as the internet, then the data collection needs to be updated. If we are using old data for current day use, we need to make sure it fits today’s climax. This would create better environments for everyone and create a precedent for “cleaner” technology where there’s no exclusion or discrimination at its foundation.  

How can intersectionality frames potentially help companies? 

Intersectionality allows us to see things in an institution and help unfold a person’s identities (Dr. Kimberle Crenshaw, 2019). A company can use the frames of intersectionality to get a better scope of their target market. A person is not defined but just one identity, they have multiple ones that shape who they are. Understanding the overlap of identities can get companies to view their marketing in a different light. This can open the door for their target market to widen more if done correctly and appropriately.  

[cinnagirl22]

It's so sad pillow princess and service tops/touch me nots don't have a designated dating app or something so we could find each other instead of being invalided/getting our boundaries disrespected by our own community :(

If I could code i'd do it myself.

[tallulah-spins-in-brain-24-7]

My design for Hope/Memory egg!

made in the app “rooms”. She has a little purple ribbon heart, shaggy unkept grey and silver hair with forget me nots in it! I gave her faint cracks from her neglect in the abandoned adoption centre.

[moonshotpress]

This Galactic Starcruiser doc coming out is kind of like trying to improve upon the Mona Lisa. Jenny already made the perfect film. Also I saw some articles covering the doc that even talked about Jenny's video and called it cynical... did we watch the same thing? She showed up with an OC for kriff's sake, how is that anything but earnest and game? It's Disney that's cynical, and the experience she had beat the positivity out of her.

I can't help but be thankful for Jenny spelling out the timeline of how starcruiser represents Disney leeching potential from Galaxy's Edge and then failing to even deliver on that due to it relying on a broken app. I'm sure there was so much magic created by cast members, but my impression is definitely that they were doing that in SPITE of the product that they were delivering, rather than the star cruiser being some beautiful gamble that didn't pay off because it was too pure for this world. and also Jenny spends a fair amount of time praising the cast members that she encountered.

I don't really see how you can look at Disney parks lately and in particular the D'Amaro statements lately basically admitting that the haves-and-have-nots structure of the Disney experience is not a bug, but an ongoing strategy that they are doing on purpose and intend on leaning into, and not see the Halcyon as the beginning of the end of Disney parks being a quality experience for everyone who can afford it. The Spirit airlines analogy is more apt than ever.

So IDK. I think I might watch the documentary, but based on the press it definitely seems like a bit of a puff piece.

[theebigbadbutch]

hey manon i hope you’re doing ok and having a lovely day!! :) here’s a picture of my cat :p

OMG HI i’m not even logging into this app but i saw your nots and i just had to see your cat :(((( they’re SO CUTE!!! can’t say i’m doing ok but ill get there, thanks for checking <3 you’re very sweet and made my day so much better!

[your-modern-sappho]

ꪆৎ ˚⋅Master List ᡣ𐭩 •｡

ARCANE 💙

(Oops, nothing here yet!)

MEAN GIRLS 💋

(Oops, nothing here yet!)

S.D.V. 🌱

(Oops, nothing here yet!)

YELLOWJACKETS 🐝

Originals 🌟

Misc. Poetry

Forget-Me-Nots

Christmas Time Again

The Cycle

When a Lamb becomes a Wolf

Notes App Blurb

(Lovingly) Untitled

A Guide to Lycanthropy

Werewolves & Moon Phases