#No option but to be nice to and validate everyone even when they’re being objectively awful themselves (looking at Taash in particular)

[rahabs]

Well, on the upside, Veilguard’s absolutely horrid writing and utter lack of meaningful roleplay mechanics made me appreciate Inquisition’s already watered-down writing and roleplay mechanics.

[cruel-seduction]

Tom Riddle Headcanon || 18+

(୨୧) 6’3 | Tall, intimidating, and he knows it. He’s tall, but not towering—it’s the kind of height that lets him loom over you just enough to make you uncomfortable in the best way. His presence is magnetic, commanding, like he’s taking up more space than he actually does. (You think you can hold eye contact with this man without second-guessing your life choices? Good luck.)

(୨୧) Lean, but it’s that sharp, calculated kind of lean. Like he was sculpted out of pure ambition and dark magic. His cheekbones? You could slice your finger on them, and his jawline looks like it was chiseled by Salazar Slytherin himself.

(୨୧) He doesn’t have He’s not bulky—oh no, Tom believes muscles are for people who need to physically overpower others. His strength is in his mind, but don’t mistake that for fragility. He’s all sharp edges and taut sinew, like a blade just waiting to cut. Tom has power. Subtle, unassuming strength that hits you when he casually pins someone to the wall or clenches his fist during an argument, making every vein in his forearm pop. (And suddenly you’re wondering if you enjoy being terrified of a man.)

WE LOVE A MAN WHO COULD STRANGLE US WITH ONE HAND AND STILL LOOK PERFECT DOING IT!!!! 

(୨୧) Abs? Oh, he has them. But they’re not flashy gym-bro abs—they’re carved out of years of silent rage and perfectionism. You’d only see them under candlelight, the shadows teasing you just enough to make you question every moral fiber in your body.

(୨୧) Tom doesn’t work out. Ever. He’s too busy reading ancient texts and rewriting the definition of “overachiever.” Yet somehow, he has the kind of body that looks like it was sculpted by dark magic itself. His posture is impeccable, every movement deliberate and precise, like he’s constantly two steps ahead of everyone else.

(୨୧) Long fingers, veins visible, nails always perfectly kept. These are the hands of someone who can cast a killing curse with chilling accuracy—or caress your skin like you’re the most fragile thing in the world.

(We LOVE a man who could both destroy and cherish us with the same hands!!!)

(୨୧) His face? The blueprint for the resting evil smirk. He doesn’t even have to try to look dangerous. One glance, one slight quirk of his lips, and suddenly you’re doing whatever he wants without thinking twice. (You: “Why am I holding this cursed object?” Tom: “Because I asked nicely.” …And now you’re smiling like an idiot while the Horcrux slowly sucks away your soul. Love that for you!)

(୨୧) Hotness Level: Nuclear

Tom doesn’t just walk into a room—he owns it. His hotness isn’t in your face; it’s insidious, sneaking up on you until suddenly you’re wondering how you got trapped in his web.

His energy? He doesn’t need to ask for your soul. You’d willingly hand it over while thanking him for the privilege.

And when he’s angry? Oh, you feel it. That piercing stare, the slight tilt of his head, the way his voice drops an octave just to let you know you’ve made a very, very big mistake.

THERE’S HOT, AND THEN THERE’S TOM RIDDLE HOT—THE KIND THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR BREATHING TOO LOUDLY.

(୨୧) A Walking Manipulation Manual Tom doesn’t ask for things. He makes you want to give them to him. Every glance, every word is carefully calculated to pull you into his orbit. He’s not just charming—he’s dangerously compelling. (One conversation with him, and suddenly you’re questioning your entire moral compass. Like, “Oh, you want me to help you break into the Restricted Section? Sure, Tom. Anything for you.”)

(୨୧) Validation is His Drug Let’s be real: Tom craves approval like it’s oxygen.Tom will deny it to his last breath, but he needs to be the best. He doesn’t just want to succeed; he wants to be the only option. It’s not enough for him to win—everyone else has to lose. (And don’t get me started on how he reacts to praise. Compliment him in the right way, and you’ll see that flicker of pride in his dark eyes before he schools his face into that unreadable mask again. We love a secretly vulnerable king.) He’s spent his whole life proving he’s better than everyone else, and it’s not just for pride—it’s because he doesn’t know how to not seek validation. He thrives on being the teacher’s pet, the top student. Maybe it’s because he never got his parents validation. But trust me when I say he is a bitch for teacher’s validation. (But let’s be clear: the second you start overshadowing him, he’ll knock you down a peg faster than you can say Avada Kedavra.)

(୨୧) Control Freak Everything about Tom screams precision. His desk? Immaculate. His spells? Flawless. His plans? Perfectly executed. He doesn’t just like control—he needs it. Chaos makes him itch, which is ironic considering he’s the embodiment of quiet destruction. (And He will make sure you’re oriented too) 

(୨୧) Manipulative but Subtly Possessive He doesn’t say you’re his. No, Tom makes it clear in subtler ways—like the way he rests a hand on your back just as someone else looks at you too long. Or the cold, sharp glare he gives anyone who dares speak to you without his permission. (A man who makes you feel like a queen while also terrifying everyone else around you.)

(୨୧) Unyielding Ambition Tom doesn’t just want success—he wants power. He wants to be remembered, revered, and feared. He’s the guy who’ll smile sweetly at a professor while planning to steal their research for his own gain. He has a goal. He will do anything to get there. Anything can include from threatening someone to killing someone. He is, as poet says a psycho. 

Tom Riddle | The Duality

(୨୧) The Charm is a Weapon His voice? Silky smooth, with just enough edge to keep you on your toes. He’s polite, refined, and utterly disarming. But behind that charming smile is a predator watching his prey. (You’re falling for him, and you don’t even realize it until it’s too late. And honestly? You don’t even mind.)

(୨୧) Dark, Brooding, and Mysterious Tom’s the guy sitting alone in the library, surrounded by ancient tomes, quill scratching quietly against parchment. He’s untouchable, aloof, and yet somehow you can’t stop staring. (You just know he’s plotting something, and you want in on it. Even if it’s dangerous. Especially if it’s dangerous.)

(୨୧) The Possessive Gentleman He’ll hold the door open for you, pull out your chair, and offer you his arm as you walk. But don’t be fooled—this isn’t just gentlemanly courtesy. This is Tom Riddle subtly marking you as his. (Imagine him offering you his coat and then hexing anyone who dares comment on it. THAT’S the energy.)

Tom Riddle|| Personality 

(୨୧) He’s the Most Dangerous Kind of Asshole—Polished and Calculated Tom isn’t like Mattheo, who might yell across the hallway for a laugh. No, Tom is refined, cold, and deliberate. When he doesn’t like you, you won’t hear him shouting about it—he’ll make you feel it. He’ll dismantle your self-esteem with just a few carefully chosen words delivered with a sharp smile. (“A shame you couldn’t understand the assignment. I suppose not everyone’s meant for greatness.” Translation: You’re an idiot, and he’s better than you.)

(୨୧) He’s Addicted to Control Every aspect of Tom’s life is planned. His work is immaculate, his appearance is flawless, and his ambitions are unshakable. He thrives on structure because chaos reminds him of what he came from—something he’s desperate to leave behind. Don’t ever try to surprise Tom; he’ll take it as a personal offense. He hates unpredictability because it’s the one thing he can’t manipulate.

(୨୧) A Master of Masking His True Self Tom can charm anyone. Teachers adore him. Classmates admire him—or at least pretend to, because who wants to get on Tom Riddle’s bad side? He wears his “perfect student” persona like armor, and it’s nearly impenetrable. (But let’s be real, you know he’s sneaking into the Restricted Section at 2 a.m., whispering spells under his breath like it’s his birthright.)

(୨୧) Unhinged Beneath the Surface Tom doesn’t snap in loud, dramatic outbursts. No, his anger is a quiet, simmering thing, so much worse because you never see it coming. He’ll stare you down with a look so cold you’ll swear the temperature dropped, and then suddenly— “I suggest you choose your next words carefully. You won’t like what happens otherwise.” (And when he does lose it? You better pray you’re not in the blast radius because that’s some “destroy-everything-in-sight” level fury.)

Tom Riddle | Relationships and Obsession

(୨୧) Emotionally Unavailable, But Intensely Possessive Tom doesn’t do feelings. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself. He views relationships like he views everything else in his life: something to control. But when he does fixate on someone? It’s all-consuming, suffocating, and terrifyingly intense. He won’t shout “you’re mine” from the rooftops. Instead, he’ll show it in the way he glances at anyone who gets too close to you, the subtle squeeze of his hand on your waist, the icy calm he maintains when someone dares flirt with you. (“You’re being watched, princess. I’d think twice before entertaining fools like that again.”)

(୨୧) Manipulative in the Most Beautiful Way Tom has mastered the art of making you think his darkest ideas are your idea. He’ll twist your words, your emotions, until you’re second-guessing yourself and believing that he’s the only one who truly understands you. (“You don’t need them. They’ll only disappoint you. I’m the one who’s always been here, haven’t I?”) (Yes, it’s toxic, but are we complaining? Nope. Absolutely not.)

(୨୧) Softness is Reserved for You and You Only Tom is cold to everyone—except you. When it’s just the two of you, he lets his walls down just enough to show you glimpses of the boy beneath the monster. He’s still composed, but his voice softens, his touch gentles. He’ll sit beside you in the library, his hand brushing yours as he murmurs, “You’re brilliant, you know. Far more than they deserve.” (That’s right. You’re his weakness, and we’re eating that up like it’s our last meal.)

Tom Riddle | Dark Habits and Quirks

(୨୧) Obsessive Overachievement If Tom gets less than perfect marks on anything, he’ll lose sleep over it. He’ll re-study every detail of the assignment until it’s engraved into his mind. (If you try to comfort him, he’ll glare and say, “Mediocrity is unacceptable.” …Okay, Tom, calm down.)

(୨୧) No Time for Fun or Friends Tom doesn’t “hang out.” He doesn’t do parties or casual drinks with the boys. His version of “fun” is solving an ancient magical riddle or perfecting a spell no one else has dared attempt. (Though I imagine he secretly finds your mundane activities fascinating. He’ll pretend he’s annoyed, but he’s watching you decorate a cake like, “How… how does one enjoy this?”)

(୨୧) Petty in the Most Refined Way Tom won’t call you out in public, but he will ruin your life in ways you don’t even realize until it’s too late. (“Oh, did you fail the test? Strange. I suppose all that time gossiping didn’t leave you much room to study.” Cue his perfect grade plastered on the board.)

(୨୧) Refuses to Eat Like a Normal Human Being He’s the type to skip meals because he “doesn’t have time for such trivialities.” When he does eat, it’s methodical, quiet, and eerily polite. (You could be scarfing down chips, and Tom’s over here delicately slicing his food into perfect pieces. Honestly, it’s infuriating and hot at the same time.)

(୨୧)  When Tom Realized He Was in Love Tom was the last person to admit he was capable of love. He didn’t need it. In fact, he despised the very idea of vulnerability. At first, he simply enjoyed the control, the power he had over you, the way you seemed so easily ensnared in his web. But then something changed.

It wasn’t dramatic. No hearts aflutter, no sudden epiphany. Instead, it was little moments—the way your laugh made his heart tighten, the way his thoughts lingered on you when he was supposed to be focused on his next conquest. It started to feel like something deeper. The first sign? He found himself doing small things for you, things that felt personal—that were not for his image, but just for you.

Like when you were late for a class, and Tom “accidentally” got your notes for you—notes he knew you didn’t need but knew you’d appreciate. Or when he made sure the books you wanted were always ready for you in the library, despite the fact that he despised wasting his time on “mundane tasks.” He would act as if it was no big deal, but his eyes would linger on you a moment too long, watching you with a touch of something he refused to name.

(୨୧) When He Realized He Loved You

Tom didn’t have some grand epiphany. It was a slow, torturous process of denial. But the moment he knew? It was after you smiled at him after a particularly heated argument about something inconsequential. You stood your ground, refused to back down, and still looked at him like he wasn’t the monster he feared he was. He walked away, but later that night, when the castle was silent, he whispered the words into the dark, testing them out as if saying them aloud would make them feel less… dangerous. "I love her."

(୨୧) His “Confession” Was Terrifyingly Intense

Tom doesn’t stumble through his words like Mattheo might. No, when Tom confesses, it’s calculated and deliberate—but still deeply unsettling.

“You’ve done something to me,” he said, his voice dangerously low, his gaze piercing. “I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stop thinking about you. And I won’t. So you’re going to stay by my side, because that’s where you belong.”

(Translation: We are gonna stay together forever. And we belong with each other. )

(୨୧) Tom’s Denial and “Caring” Moments When Tom started feeling what people call “love,” he fought it. He refused to let himself admit it, convinced that emotions were a weakness. He never said “I love you”—not in the way that other people did. Instead, it was subtle. Insidious. He’d show his affection in the smallest, most frustratingly subtle ways. He wouldn’t bring you flowers or offer grand gestures. No. Tom’s “love” was found in the way he’d drag you into the darkness of the restricted section when no one was watching, the way his fingers brushed yours for a split second before he pulled away, pretending he didn’t want to touch you.

And he definitely wouldn’t say “I love you” unless absolutely necessary. He didn’t need to. His actions spoke louder.

But then, one evening, it just… slipped out. You were sitting together in his private little corner of the library, your laughter echoing in the otherwise silent space. Tom, for once, seemed genuinely relaxed, his usually tense frame at ease. He was looking at you, his gaze dark but softened—something that wasn’t there before.

“You... make everything easier,” he muttered, almost to himself. When you raised an eyebrow, he didn’t immediately elaborate. Instead, he just leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as he added, “It’s ridiculous how much I care about you.” and you just smiled and pecked his lips.

There was no "I love you," not in so many words. But you heard it, and it made your heart do something strange—flutter, maybe? But you weren’t sure if you were imagining it because Tom's voice was still so casual. Like everything he said was just... a matter of fact.

(୨୧) Praise Where It Matters Most

Tom doesn’t throw compliments around lightly. When he says something nice, it’s like being struck by lightning. His words carry weight.

“You’re brilliant,” he’d murmur, his voice low, his gaze intense. “More than anyone else here. Don’t ever let them make you think otherwise.”

(And yes, you’d be a puddle on the floor because Tom’s version of praise feels like a rare, precious gift.)

(୨୧) Tom’s Trust and Relationship Dynamics Here’s the thing: Tom doesn’t get jealous. He’s above it. It’s not in his nature. If you’re his, you’re his, and no one dares to get in the way. He doesn’t need to question your loyalty, because in his mind, the moment he chose you, he is gonna trust you more than anyone. For him you’re never at fault but the other person is gonna die. It’s not that he’s insecure—it’s that he knows you would never cheat on him. Why would you? You have everything you could ever need in him.

He doesn’t even feel the need to keep tabs on you, though don’t get it twisted—he is watching, but he does it from the shadows. If you’re not at his side, he trusts that you’ll come back. You always come back. And if you don’t, well… that’s where things get a little interesting.

He’s not showing you off like Mattheo might; he’s staking his claim.

If anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way, you’ll feel the shift in his demeanor immediately.

“Do they think they’re worthy of your attention?” he’ll whisper, his tone deceptively calm. “They’re not. Let me remind them.”

(Spoiler: He will. And it won’t be pretty.)

(୨୧) Acts of Service, But Darker

Tom will do things for you, but it’s always with a hidden motive. Did someone upset you? He’ll “take care of it.” Did you want something rare or hard to find? He’ll get it for you, no questions asked.

“Consider it handled,” he’ll say with a ghost of a smile. But you know better than to ask how he handled it.

(୨୧) The Gaslighting Is Unreal

If you ever try to put distance between you and Tom, he’ll make you question everything.

“Why would you leave? After everything we’ve built together?” His voice will crack just enough to make you hesitate.

And when you falter, he’ll pull you back in with a kiss so intense it leaves you breathless, murmuring, “I can’t lose you. Don’t you see? You’re my weakness.”

(୨୧) First Kiss

It happened in the library, of course. You were studying, lost in your notes, and he was pretending to read while stealing glances at you. He didn’t plan it, but you looked up and caught him staring.

“What?” you asked, tilting your head with that infuriatingly perfect smile.

He leaned in before he could stop himself, his hand cupping your cheek as his lips met yours. It wasn’t soft or tentative—it was intense, consuming, like he was staking a claim. When he pulled back, his expression was unreadable.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he murmured before returning to his book as if nothing had happened.

(୨୧) The Reality of Tom Riddle’s Love

With Tom, everything is earned. He doesn't just give his heart away, and certainly not without demanding something in return. But for you? You’ll always have his trust. You’ll always have his attention. You’ll always know that beneath that cold exterior, he’s obsessed.

Tom Riddle | Intimacy and the Smut

(୨୧) With Tom Riddle, intimacy is an art—meticulous, calculated, and suffused with a dark intensity that leaves you trembling in its wake. He isn’t one for rushed encounters or fleeting passions. No, when Tom takes you, it’s deliberate, almost ceremonial, like he’s claiming something he already knows belongs to him.

(୨୧) The Build-Up Foreplay with Tom is a slow burn, a game of control that he always wins. He knows exactly how to make you crave him without even laying a finger on you. His voice, low and commanding, is enough to send shivers down your spine. He has this way of leaning in close, his lips brushing against your ear as he murmurs things that are simultaneously a praise and a promise.

“You look exquisite when you’re begging, darling,” he whispers, his hand ghosting along the curve of your neck, stopping just short of touching you fully.

Tom thrives on anticipation. He’ll spend what feels like an eternity trailing his fingers across your skin, watching your reactions with a sharp, almost predatory focus. Every gasp, every arch of your body—it’s all cataloged in his mind, stored away for when he decides to unravel you completely.

The way he kisses you is enough to leave you breathless. It’s not hurried or frenzied; it’s controlled, methodical. He tilts your chin up with a single finger, his lips slanting over yours with a precision that makes your knees weak.

When he finally touches you, it’s overwhelming. His hands are strong, commanding, but there’s a certain reverence in the way he holds you, like he’s savoring every inch of your skin.

(୨୧) The Act Tom is not gentle, but he’s not reckless either. He knows exactly how to toe the line between pleasure and pain, how to push you to the edge without ever letting you fall. He’s all about control—his control over you, your body, your mind.

His stamina is almost otherworldly. Where others might falter, Tom thrives, his focus unwavering as he pushes you past your limits. He doesn’t stop until you’re completely spent, your body trembling beneath his, your voice hoarse from calling his name.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, his tone laced with dark amusement as he brushes a strand of hair from your face. “Falling apart so beautifully for me. Are you even aware of how perfect you are?”

He loves to whisper things into your ear, things that make your cheeks flush and your heart race.

“You’re mine,” he growls, his voice rough and commanding. “Every part of you. Do you understand that?”

And when you nod, he smirks, his lips ghosting over yours.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmurs, his voice soft but firm.

(୨୧) Pet Names and Praise Tom isn’t overly creative with pet names, but the ones he uses are potent.

Darling: His go-to, spoken with a dark edge that makes your knees weak.

My love: When he’s feeling particularly possessive, usually whispered against your skin.

Good girl: Said in a way that makes your heart race and your mind spin.

Perfect: Because to him, you are, and he never lets you forget it.

(୨୧) Roughness and Domination Tom doesn’t shy away from being rough. His hands grip your hips hard enough to leave bruises, his teeth graze your neck in a way that makes you shiver, and his pace is relentless. He loves the way your body reacts to him, the way you cling to him, desperate and needy.

“You can take it,” he murmurs, his voice low and commanding. “I know you can. You’re stronger than you think, my love.”

And when you finally break, when you can’t hold back the cries of pleasure that spill from your lips, Tom smirks, his satisfaction evident in the dark gleam of his eyes.

“Such a good girl for me,” he whispers, his lips pressing against your temple. “Always so perfect.”

(୨୧) Aftercare Despite his roughness, Tom isn’t cruel. Once the heat of the moment has passed, he softens ever so slightly. He doesn’t say much, but his actions speak volumes. He’ll run his fingers through your hair, his touch surprisingly tender, and press soft kisses against your forehead.

“You did well, darling,” he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. “Rest now. I’ll take care of everything.”

And he does. Because while Tom Riddle might be a lot of things—manipulative, calculating, and intense—when it comes to you, he’s nothing short of devoted.

[shijiujun]

on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

===

🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not. 

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free. 

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

===

🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me 

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

===

🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever. 

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you. 

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument. 

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings 

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect. 

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively. 

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault? 

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

===

🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

===

🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly! 

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

===

🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”. 

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

================

🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for? 

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation. 

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone. 

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[melodiesofblueroses]

𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘤𝘴 𝘸/ 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴

-𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: basically general eyesight and glasses hcs for each of the demon bros

-𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: general

Lucifer

he doesn’t like the look of glasses, so he often doesn’t wear them

he thinks that glasses are an unsightly look on him, and as diavolo’s right-hand man, lucifer wanted to look both frightening and presentable

thus, he opts for contacts most times, though he may put on his glasses once in a while when he was alone

contacts were his go to option since they were practically hidden. he doesn’t like the idea of others knowing that he had a weakness: his eyesight

(spending hours reading documents at a dimly lit desk is sure to strain anyone’s eyesight)

lucifer is farsighted, so he often doesn’t see the need to wear his prescription since he’s often standing up and presenting

plus, he had to rest his eyes every once in a while

and when he does need to see close up objects, it was usually when he was alone, so lucifer really had no trouble putting on his glasses then

since it was sort of a secret, sometimes his brothers forgot he wore them since lucifer was rarely seen with them on

whenever he did wear his glasses, they were always slightly taken aback until they remember that his eyesight sucks

when the exchange student sees him with glasses, they get a slight heart attack just from how attractive he looked (seriously, who gave him the right?)

probably pesters him to wear it more often since he looked rather dashing in them, to which he complies after much annoyance

wouldn’t admit it, but lucifer loved to see you swooning over him, so he often found himself wearing his glasses whenever you were around (only if the two of you were alone though)

Mammon

he is seen wearing glasses only when sporting his casual look, so most often others think that they’re just for show

he likes the pop of color they add to his outfit, so in a sense, they were an accessory, but they were also perscription lenses

i think that mammon has astigmatism, so he definitely needs to wear either glasses or contacts if he wants to see anything

he prefers contacts over glasses, which is why he’s often seen without his iconic tinted glasses

like lucifer, mammon didn’t think that he looked good in glasses, and he was a bit insecure of the fact that he even needed glasses, so he often chose contacts instead

(the only reason he wore glasses on his casual attire was because the tint matched the rest of the outfit. plus, he agreed that it was the only time that glasses looked good on him)

he also believes that contacts are a lot less work since he didn’t have to worry about misplacing them throughout the day

he just had to put them on in the morning then could wear his contacts all day. and they were invisible, so they wouldn’t get in the way of his usual antics

definitely has slept with his contacts on a few times since he forgot to take them out

thus, he sometimes woke up with dry and irritated eyes

when you came to the devildom, mammon realized that you seemed to absolutely love his tinted glasses, so he made it a point to wear them around much more often, if only to impress you

you think that they’re just for show at first, until you put them on and realize that they’re prescription lenses

mammon is embarrassed that you found out, but you reassure him that it didn’t matter in the slightest

Leviathan

my guy definitely has some eyesight problems from how often he strains them playing games or watching anime

since he’s nearsighted, he doesn’t really wear his prescription often since he’s always seeing things that are close to him, such as the computer monitor or manga

the only time he really wears them is if he needs to go out, but even then that’s not often

he alternates between glasses and contacts since he doesn’t really mind either. it entirely depends on his mood and whether or not he wanted to try and put in his contacts that he often struggled with

although he wears both and alternates, i feel like he may prefer glasses because he thinks that they make him look cooler

thinks it makes him look like one of those cool anime guys so levi ofc loves it

(levi definitely has pushed up his glasses more than a few times to imitate the glowing glasses thing)

plus, glasses were way easier to take on and off (levi would admit that he’s slept in his contacts a few times because he was dead tired)

he also has his glasses and contacts match up with the characters that he’s cosplaying, including wearing colored contacts in order to match the character’s eye color

levi also loves to design new glasses to go along with them

when you pointed out how cute he looked in glasses, levi swears he had an out-of-body experience

he’d never had anyone compliment him on his glasses before, so levi really takes it to heart

whenever he wears his glasses, he remembers that one compliment and becomes all flustered. you played with his heart way too much

Satan

satan always made it a habit of his to wear glasses when reading or even doing his RAD homework

although satan has 20/20 vision (he’s one of those lucky people), he still absolutely adored the look of glasses

in his mind, glasses made him look like an intellectual

since satan believed that knowledge made a person respectable, he extended that to glasses as well, falling into the generic way of thinking that those who wear glasses appear to be smarter

so he always carried decorative glasses on hand to wear whenever he was reading something

also fits with that entire academia aesthetic he was going for lol i believe that satan cares very much for looks and wants to appear put together

(plus, in his mind, he looked damn attractive in them)

for a while, his brothers think that he’s farsighted for how often they see him wearing glasses whenever he’s reading

when they gift him reading glasses for his birthday, satan laughs and says that they’re merely a fashion accessory 

everyone always forgets that and mistakes him for being farsighted, as well as the exchange student when they first meet him

when you comment on how sexy you think he looks with glasses, satan feels accomplished in a sense

it’s not like he needed the validation, but it felt nice either way

he does feel a bit guilty though since you seem to believe that he was also farsighted lol

Asmodeus

asmo absolutely hates wearing his glasses

for one, he thinks that he looks absolutely dorky in them (asmo knew that he looked good in them; he just didn’t like their style)

secondly, he was embarrassed to admit that he needed prescription lenses even if it was totally normal

the only time he ever wore them was if they complimented his outfit, and even then he’d insist that it was nothing more than a fashion statement

would also wear them if he forgot to put on his contacts that morning. he didn’t want to seem like a fool as he constantly ran into things and squinted at objects from afar (one time that happened and his brothers never let him live it down)

more often than not, asmo chose to wear contacts since they never got in the way

asmo is nearsighted, so he tries his best to sit as close to objects as possible, such as always sitting in the front row of RAD (he still can’t see the board but i digress) or bringing his books way too close to his eyes

his eyesight isn’t as bad as the others though, so he could sometimes afford to go a day or so without them. things were just going to look a bit blurry from afar

one day when asmo forgot his contacts and wore glasses, you pointed out how good he looked in them and asked why he didn’t wear them more often, to which asmo is a bit taken aback

like yeah, he did look good, but you liked them? really?? it was such a strange thing to hear

when he looked in the mirror, asmo would realize that you were right

damn, he did look amazing. why didn’t he wear them more often?

would definitely make an effort to use them more afterwards

Beelzebub

like satan, beel is one of the lucky few in the house of lamentation that didn’t need glasses or contacts

his eyesight was perfect as is, so he could never understand the struggles his other brothers went through

i feel like he’d try out his one his brother’s glasses at some point just to get a feel for it

his perception would immediately falter and the entire world seemed so round. plus, wearing such strong lenses gave him a headache (seriously, what was up with levi’s eyesight?)

felt sympathetic for his brothers since their eyesight was blurry as hell

he’s the type that would help them out such as looking for their misplaced glasses 

(he may have sat on them on more than one occasion since he wouldn’t have noticed them)

even if beel is practically a gentle giant, i can see him accidentally destroying his brother’s backup glasses more than once since his grip was so strong

as for fake glasses, beel wasn’t too fond of them

he really didn’t like how they looked on him. they looked bulky and a bit tacky, at least that’s what he saw

if on the off chance you complimented how well he looked in them when you once put some on him, beel would be confused

beel wouldn’t really change his mind on them, but if you said that he looked good, then maybe he should give them a second chance

Belphegor

he was the last of the trio that had perfect vision, so belphie often made it a point to rub it in his older brother’s faces

(particularly asmo who seemed to be extrememly jealous of his eyesight. he loved hiding asmo’s contacts so that he would be forced to wear his glasses that he hated so much)

though asmo was the easiest to tease, belphie absolutely loved making fun of lucifer and his “deteriorating eyesight”

belphie always had some snarky remark to comment whenever he saw lucifer passing by, such as to watch out for that little rock on the road before he tripped over it, since he couldn’t see anything in front of him

sure he may be lectured afterwards, but belphie found it to be worthwhile

he also played pranks on them, such as hiding their glasses and amusing himself as he watched them trip over their own feet as they tried to find them

he always acted innocent whenever the others asked where he hid them, acting as if he had absolutely no idea what they meant

belphie hated fake glasses with a passion since they always looked way too tacky for his tastes

not only that, but whenever he put them on, he was reminded of his older brothers, and belphie couldn’t stand that

one day when he was napping, you secretly slipped on some glasses on him to which he woke up to

he grumbled to take them off, way too tired and sleepy to move, and ignoring your comments that he looked so cute in them

when he was alone, however, belphie would put some on due to your compliments, and look at himself in the mirror with them on

as much as he hated to admit it, you did have a point, but he’d never let anyone know that

[rpbetter]

I often see multis post that they want to make a new muse, at the same time as they're backed up on threads and asks, and they get their followers to "enable" them to make that muse in the post replies. What is your take on this? Is it a they-can-do-what-they-want situation, or is it reasonable to be annoyed when I see this? Or both?

Hey, Anon!

Both.

I mean, as usual, this is my opinion of an opinion-based matter. This isn't an equation that has an objectively right to wrong scale, it isn't actually hurting any living person or thing. But...it is incredibly annoying and can be hurtful.

They can totally do what they want, and much of the nature of genuine creativity is exactly that - the allowance of doing whatever you so desire. It's something I support rather adamantly, but it's also something I support trying our best to do responsibly and without being hurtful to anyone in a hobby that involves more than ourselves.

This isn't deciding to write another fic when you've not finished the previous four or five that others were interested in, or never finishing any of your original fiction, but continually starting new projects. While others might be enjoying those things as well, you didn't agree to interact with them. They're audience members, not participants.

When others are participants in a hobby that has to work both ways, it's different. Your actions do affect other, real human beings.

So, I totally feel like you've a right to be annoyed every time you see that happening. I do. I tend to unfollow people who do that repeatedly, as we're not pursuing the hobby in the same way. I'll argue all day that someone has a right to their, sometimes literally, eighty-plus muses they never develop or stick to, but that doesn't mean I want to engage with them as a writing partner.

For those of us who want long-term writing partners with the same, well-developed muses, this kind of thing just is annoying. As is everything else that comes with it.

As in...

They're constantly posting "talk me out of adding x" as code for "talk me into writing x."

No one actually wants to be talked out of it, which was probably more obvious to everyone else here than it was me for a little while lmao I tend to take things rather literally. This was, as one can imagine, not appreciated! Telling someone in total earnestness, "I really don't think that's a good choice. You're always saying how overwhelmed you are and just dropped multiple threads yesterday, so adding another muse is going to make you feel worse eventually. Don't do it! :)" is so not what they were looking for. As was evident by the return meltdown over how they could do what they wanted, like I said they couldn't or had any authority over what they're doing with their time.

It's an obnoxious bit of pandering for a foregone conclusion.

Have you ever seen anyone who posts that sort of thing not pick up that muse? I haven't. I've only seen muns who are legitimately on the fence about it asking others in private conversations or testing out the muse decide against it. The thing that makes this incredibly irritating is the attention-seeking and need to validate something they must know isn't a great choice, otherwise, they'd just do it. They're aware that they're behind on drafts, asks, and other things - aware that this is maybe a dick move when they owe everyone already. So, they're seeking "permission" with full knowledge that multiple mutuals are going to hop on that post with encouragement, even some of the ones being messed over by this choice.

It puts people in a bad situation.

Some of those people genuinely don't care, they just want to interact with any muse, and I'm going to be awful and say it - they don't care about totally interchangeable muses and have them themselves. That's fine, this isn't a problem for them. It is for the mutuals who are hoping that maybe if their writing partner gets into this new muse, they'll get a reply to their threads with that energy, or that they'll stick to this one and they can have consistent interactions with them. It is for the mutuals who feel pressured to respond positively because they fear not responding at all will make them seem like bad rpers.

One more thing playing into the counter logic excuse for shitty behavior of "it's just a hobby" is one more thing too many, and it does exactly that.

No one wants to be accused of being remotely too invested in RP anymore, of taking it too seriously, or having any emotional investment in muses, stories, or muns. Not accepting every choice someone makes that negatively impacts you with a grin on your face while you dump confetti on them for it just isn't a comfortable option for a lot of muns anymore. Honesty isn't a comfortable option. While the other option isn't either, it seems better than that mutual noticing you're the only writing partner who didn't hop onto that post with support any of the multiple times they reblogged it. It's only a hobby in which everyone can do what they want until what one wants clashes. Then, you're getting a callout for being addicted to RP.

And the way it tends to clash most is in having expectations of others. Ones that would be totally normal in any other hobby requiring interaction with other people.

Like not overburdening yourself at the expense not only of yourself but those on your "team." That's what is being done when someone knows they cannot keep up with themselves, but continues to add to the situation with new muses.

Not only are you no longer getting responses already while they're intending to add even more to their overflowing plate, you'll be dropped again when they have to "fresh start" their blog because they're burned out.

I have to put that in quotations because I don't know how it's a fresh start when you keep everything but the blog layout the same. All the muses and all the behaviors, including adding a new one despite not having the time or interest necessary to do so, is inevitably maintaining the problems that led to burnout. Dropping every thread, changing the URL, a new blog layout, new aesthetics, isn't fixing the issue even if it temporarily reinvigorates the mun.

The mun is definitely doing things that are not helpful to them, it's stressful and upsetting to experience burnout, but it's at least that mun's choice. Both to do it and to become defensive over fixing it, thus, never fixing it. It isn't anyone else's choice to be repeatedly dropped or ignored, though...unless they just keep sticking around for it.

Again, we're supposed to respect everyone's choices. That's fine when it really works that way, when it is truly everyone. But it's not an acceptable decision to see a multimuse of twenty or more muses and say that's your limit, that you've experienced too many muns who are serial muse-adders not being able to keep up with themselves, so you don't interact with these blogs. If one feels that way, they had better not put it in their rules or ever be upfront about this as a reason, when one is demanded, for not following back or interacting.

It's not acceptable to see a writing partner adding another muse after they've owed you for months, just wiped their inbox, and keep expressing being overwhelmed/behind and become annoyed. Let alone dropping them or explaining to them why you are doing so.

The only "acceptable" course of action is hoping that they totally forget you exist so you can quietly slip away.

I don't feel like that's especially fair or mature. It certainly isn't helping the communication problem we absolutely do have here in the RPC when only one party is allowed to communicate without fear of being labeled, rather ironically, as a bad RP partner.

While this problem seems to be most prevalent in more casual RPers, it's certainly not isolated there. I feel like it's necessary to say that I've had muns I both interacted with and were simply on my dash alike who were not on that more casual side who went from being multis to being muse collectors. Once they hit over fifteen of them or so, they stopped even bothering to try to refrain from picking up at least one muse from every new piece of media they consumed or were inspired by.

It was more annoying because they had been capable of writing truly unique characters they stuck to, and even if they were, with full and upfront admission before interaction, slower to respond, those responses were well worth any wait for the quality of writing and storytelling going on. That's so much worse than someone who was always at a lower skill level as a writer, didn't have a good grasp on characterization, and wasn't especially dedicated to anything. It's depressing and disappointing, but it's also not what you think you're getting into when trying to carefully pick who to write with. Like everyone else, my time to enjoy this hobby is far from twenty-four-seven as well. It's important to me to try to choose muns I'll work out with well so that neither of us is wasting the other's time. And that's what it feels like - the investment of time was a waste because their hobby became adding infinite muses, or rather, the idea of muses.

So, yes, while it is fully everyone's right to write what and how they want to (even if it amounts to not writing at all), it'd be nice if we were all as committed to doing so in a way that was adult enough to respect commitments we've made to each other as we are, as a RPC, to losing our minds when someone merely drops the words "commitments" or "respect."

For the inevitable muse-collectors running across this:

Fiction is inspiring! That doesn't mean you needn't be inspired by anything, just that picking up or creating a whole other muse might not be the best way to follow this inspiration.

If you're considering another muse, but you find yourself already behind and/or overwhelmed? Try one of these instead:

create a plot based on it! Write up the idea and put it in your wanted plots/wishlist tag. Bring it up to partners you think might be interested in it as well, or seek out a crossover from that fandom

make it a new verse for an existing muse! This is as close as you get to creating a new muse without actually doing so, and in many ways, it takes even more creativity. How is your muse different in this AU than they are in canon, how are they the same? In the ways that they are the same, what similar events but done in a way that is natural/logical to this universe have happened to maintain that? Get really creative!

for either/both of these, make some moodboards and aesthetics with that energy while you're waiting on someone to take you up on these new things. Answer some HC asks or tag games using your new verse, or write an independent HC for the verse or plot

talk to writing partners who already love that muse about their new verse/your desired plot! No, not pressuring talk, just normal conversation between friends, but maybe they will be interested in starting a thread

simply be inspired to include some aspect of what you liked in an existent thread. A particular scene you could pull ideas from, the overall mood of a film, or the way something was written in a book - include that in your replies somehow! RP is creative writing, be creative

There are so many, honestly more organic, directions to take inspiration than bluntly adding a new muse. Especially when you're already overburdened, not holding up your end of replies, and/or not able to portray each muse as their own character properly.

Sometimes, it's not just not a great idea to add a whole new muse, and that's alright. There seems to be a serious problem with fomo going on with this whole issue, too. You're not going to miss out if you do not immediately add this character to your multi, and you're never going to fully keep up with what is trending anyway. Do it because you still want to write this muse in four months instead, they're obviously not going anywhere if that's the case, and they'll be a better developed, interesting portrayal for that.

And people do have a right to be annoyed when they feel sidelined by you seeing a shiny object and repeatedly pandering for validation in dropping them for it. Particularly if you're a mun who, further, expects everyone to be just as interested in every new muse you make as the last. As in, you're annoyed when you keep creating muses no one is falling over themselves to interact with, guilting, shaming, or outright demanding that this new muse is interacted with before they have access to the previous ones.

They don't have a right to be mean you to, but they have a right to be annoyed and to drop you. They even have a right to politely decline explaining this to you if they feel unsafe, or to politely explain it to you before they move on.

Absolutely everyone's right to pursue RP and every facet of it as they so please, but no one else has to like what you're doing.

If this response grates on some of you out there? Consider the other options you have, how you might be making others feel, and that it's actually completely okay to tell yourself no. You won't perish if you tell yourself no to taking on a new muse when you, honestly, should not! It'll be okay! Maybe, you just need to evaluate if there is another muse, or more than one, you should remove before adding one. Maybe, you just need some time to reorganize how you reply before you add this one. "No" when told to yourself can simply mean "no, not right now, it isn't a good time/situation."

[bbwoulfc]

ML NY Special Review

Finally finished my review on the ML NY Special and it’s going to be a long review, I won’t lie.  I will be breaking this down in two sections.  First section will be focused through the perspective as a professional (animation industry) and the second section through the perspective as a viewer and ML fan.

I won’t deny, I will be criticizing a few things and really give large opinionated thoughts; I’m sure it will piss people off, but I’m gonna be honest and I don’t give a damn.  I’ve been here since the beginning and I’m gonna go all out.  It wouldn’t be the first time I pissed people off.

Again, keep in mind these are my views/opinions as a professional and as a viewer/fan.  If you can’t handle some of the strong opinions that will come from this review, then keep moving on.  Don’t waste your time if you can’t handle certain characters or subjects being discussed in a different light.

If you wish to continue, then click the “keep reading” option.

As an animator, this is one of my favorite things to do with animated shows or movies.  I absolutely love breaking things down and giving opinions on the whys, whats, and hows.  Never do I aim to prove my opinions right.  My goal is to simply make you think and consider.  And if you don’t agree then that’s completely fine.  That’s how it works.

Now, the NY Special has definitely exceeded the quality than what I expected.  I absolutely love SAMG as a company.  I think this is by far one of the best that SAMG has produced for Miraculous as a whole.  Even better than the origin episodes. The lighting is probably the best I’ve seen in a 3D animated tv series, by far. It was stunning and gorgeous and worked well with the given mood that was set throughout the hour of the special.  I would say there are two scenes in particular that I felt were the best lit scenes. 

The first scene is definitely near the beginning when the class landed in NY and where traveling in the bus.  They stopped either at the hotel or museum and the shot was the buses in front of the large building where you have the other city buildings around it.  That shot was gorgeous; the orange hues falling on top of the buildings and gaining that purple and blue shadows was great.  It’s honestly one of my favorite complementary color schemes to use when lighting most scenes in animation.  It helps achieve a nice balance when setting mood but also to get a nice glance at the shapes of the models in the scene.  Perfection.

As for the second scene, I would have to say it was the moment Adrien left and Marinette was biking to chase after him and she fell.  That moment the scene focused on Marinette on the ground and in the rain spoke many volumes.  The color tone of the scene was perfect and captured the common traits used in many shows and films to further drive the sense of sadness and overall emotional effect; using the traditional trait of rain made the scene work and stand out during the struggles that Marinette was dealing with. 

The rain in general was outstanding on it’s own.  Liquids in animation are tough, not an easy thing to do. The way the rain was animated was probably the best rain I’ve seen in most 3D animated tv series.  I will even say it beats the rain from the origin episodes which is amazing because it shows the growth alone that SAMG has come from since the first season of the series.  

They create stunning quality work and by far are the best of the best from all the companies that ZAG uses or had used for the show.  I won’t lie, I still can’t fathom how Jeremy/ZAG could let such a company go but Jeremy isn’t the greatest with the money, so it’s not a shocker.  It definitely shows that man doesn’t know how to properly run a company and treat a show.  I honestly blame him for pretty much the entire outcome of the series and that’s my god honest opinionated truth as a professional. 

The pacing of the special I felt was good, though I do think it would have been nice to have had an extra 30 minutes to help flow areas a bit better or more, but I can understand the time constraints, especially after hearing about how Thomas stated that the special was going to be two hours originally. And I will be honest, I wouldn’t have minded that.  I think it would have been fantastic to have had a longer span episode special, but I understand a lot of the struggles that no doubt the team had endured.

Overall, some issues, but 10 out of 10 on animation and quality output.

Now the second section; viewing through the eyes as a viewer and fan.

As a fan of ML, I will not beat around the bush, I truly believe this special was disappointing plot wise.  And I don’t blame Thomas and his team for the issue.  As stated previously, my anger and frustration is more on Jeremy/ZAG for everything that has come from ML as a show and especially the result of the NY special.

My biggest issue with the special was the focal point: Adrinette.

How many damn times must I hear, “they’re meant for each other” or “aren’t they perfect together” and so forth.  I get it. You can adore Adrientte but I don’t need it shoved down my throat every five minutes.  I don’t give an ounce of care that Adrien and Marinette are endgame and that they’re “soulmates”.  The romance between those two means absolutely nothing to me.  It was cute and fun in the beginning when the series first started, but I’m tired of it.  I don’t care about the love square.  I don’t care about the “soulmate” trope when in reality anyone can be someone’s soulmate with the right care.  That was no doubt the biggest issue for me in the entire special.  

In my opinion, it would have been perfect if it wasn’t Adrinette centric.  This was the best moment to show Marinette is improving herself but it had to become fan service because god forbid it felt like they needed to please the Adrinette shippers that their ship is still valid. If we’re judging this based off the season 3 finale, I won’t lie, this special fit better as a season 2 finale or mid season 3 than the end of season 3.

I’m seriously more disappointed that the special wasn’t more on Marinette and herself as a character.  They were in New York, another strong hub for fashion.  This was a perfect opportunity to explore more of her interests as a fashion designer and maybe meeting some new people.  Who knows, maybe even Jagged Stone as an international rock star. But overall it was a lost opportunity to expand more on her for the sake of shipping.  

I think it would have also been cool to see her and Chat Noir maybe learn some methods/training from the US heroes and get a glimpse into a world of heroism that is different in cultures and circumstances.  Which honestly made sense to me how US heroes didn’t care about identity because Ladybug and Chat Noir have magical based items that are no doubt more powerful and outside sources that I’m sure would be willing to destroy to obtain it.

Another problem I had was how I felt we were robbed without having Kagami and Luka go to New York. Or if anything, more with Luka than Kagami. I love Kagami with all my being, but I doubt her mother would let her go to New York.  But imagine Luka being there. We could have had a flipping jam session between Luka and Jess.  I felt we were cheated, it would have been amazing to see two incredible guitarists jam it out and two people who have a passion for music find a friend in each other. I would have given anything to have had that moment.

Though in general I would have enjoyed anything else if it just wasn’t Adrinette centric.  I’m positive everyone in the fandom is on the same page that they’re “soulmates” but there’s more that can be done than a damn ship that has followers that attack and annoy anyone who doesn’t ship them.  Because, god forbid, Adrien and Marinette apparently aren’t allowed to be happy with others. I swear, half the fandom (hardcore adrinette shippers) treat Adrien more as an object than the ML characters themselves. 

Nothing against the ship, but it’s just not for me and that’s okay.  I simply can’t relate to Adrien as a romantic choice of a character.  When Luka came into existence, I was in awe. I found a character I could relate too because I was as close to similarity than any other character in a show before.  And that’s something I’ve noticed with this fandom, hating characters because to them they’re nothing but boring.  

Fans need to understand that one will not understand everything in a show, especially characters.  Just because you hate a character and find them boring doesn’t mean they’re terribly written.  You as a viewer simply can’t relate to them and that’s completely fine.  There will always be some who can relate and understand while others don’t, but that shouldn’t be a reason to argue against people who love a certain character.

And I’m being serious, I enjoyed the 30 seconds of Kagami and Luka with their love interests more than the hour of Adrinette.  It’s just overall sad.  There is so much potential that could have been the special focus wise but felt it was there to show why Adrinette is “superior” when it’s really not.  They’re only one of many ships that are equally good.  It comes down to how it’s portrayed and done.

However, since I know we’re stuck with Adrinette no matter what, I’m going to end this review with this as a food for thought but again, this is a simple opinion.

There was one thing that stood out and caught myself and some of my friends in a ML server attention.  In the NY special there were strong moments that revolved around bikes.  So, out of curiosity, I searched for symbolism meanings about bikes during the server’s conversation and it might hint to what might happen or what might come in the future of the show.   

The bike symbolizes the moving circle of life. 

Seeing a bicycle is a hint that you will reach somewhere. This could either be your motivation or your future plan. Cycling refers to the different moods that a person feels. Bicycles are also related to the ups and downs of life. For instance, riding a bicycle gives you both smooth edges and rough pebbles on your journey. The smooth edges are related to the happy times of your life and the rough pebbles denote the challenges of life. 

So, if we want to use this to break down ML, this in a way, represents Lukanette and Adrinette.  Luka are the smooth edges in Marinette’s journey.  He’s the one that calms her, helps her think things through, focuses on what Marinette wants to do rather tell her what she should do.  Never once does he tell her to do this or do that, but simply asks her what it is she wants. Luka, is pretty much her guide. The happy times as Marinette where she appears happiest without the burdens and overwhelming stress of her other life.  Whereas Adrien is the rough pebbles in her journey, the challenges to properly talk with the one she views as a love interest or simply to build that perfect friendship/relationship.  Yes, they’re friends, but they’re not as strong as friends like Marinette and Alya or Adrien and Nino. Adrien is a challenge in her life and always will be until she learns to let go and mature.   

The other moment that stood out with the bike was the moment Marinette was pressured to chase after Adrien to get him to stay.  She chases after him on a bike but falls off in the end. 

Falling off the Bicycle: This indicates that you are losing your self-confidence. 

Spend time with your loved ones and take suggestions from the experienced people. Join a course on building your personality and motivation. Do things that interest you the most and this will surely help to bring back your confidence level. This indicates a frenzied lifestyle and the need to slow down. 

This here makes me believe that Luka is the “experienced people” in Marinette’s life.  Other than Kagami, Luka is the only mature one in Marinette’s life in her friend group.  He’s one of the biggest motivators in Marinette’s life as of recent.  Putting her interests at heart that have helped her build her confidence.  We know Marinette has a frenzied lifestyle with everything that she has on her shoulders as well as her passions.  And Luka is one of the very few, if not, only one in her friend group that can calm Marinette and help her slow down and simply relax.

I know Adrinette is endgame, but I won’t deny when I say if there was anything that ML could do, is that they make Adrigami and Lukanette endgame.  So many shows always pair the two main characters, always.  If there is any message that I would have loved to see come from a show like ML, it would simply be “Your first love/crush will not always be the one and that’s okay. That your first crush/love could be the greatest friendship you ever have. And the second chances in your life are just as valuable as the first and may be even better for you.”  

Fans might hate Kagami and Luka, but as far as I’m concerned from everything I’ve watched since the beginning, the only reason you’re getting your Adrinette in the end is all because of Luka.  If it weren’t for him majority of the time, y’all wouldn’t have half of your love square moments.  So, Luka is the true MVP in my book.  Because unlike many of the others, he doesn’t put pressure on Marinette and that’s what Marinette doesn’t need right now, more pressure.  

Adrien and Marinette might be endgame, but those two need people outside of their classmates because everyone is too tunnel vision.  Luka and Kagami are the only ones that will help Adrien and Marinette mature, cause those two will not be able to do it themselves.  So, if you want your Adrinette, you’re gonna have to suffer through Lukanette and Adrigami.

[doing-all-write]

the art of flirting on a hoverboard

Ivy runs a successful arts non-profit and Joe tags along when Rami and Lucy go to visit her. But what happens when a simple bet made over a hover board competition gets out of hand? 

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Ivy (OC)

Rating: Rated B for background and C for characterization. (We love exposition in this house)

Warnings: None! 

This is for sure going to be a multi-part fic so here’s the first part! I hope you guys fall in love with Joe and Ivy as much as I had writing them! Ivy wasn’t inspired by anyone tbh, I tried writing in the second person but it kept confusing me so she can be a self-insert or an OC, whichever way you want to read it! 

Any comments, notes, love, hate WHATEVER you got for this, let me know! 

Reblogs and feedback are much appreciated bc I crave validation!!!!!

"EXCUSE US. HOVER BOARD COMING THROUGH." 

Joe jumped, looking around to locate the voice, and said hover board, as Rami sighed with longing.  

The hover board in question was attached (by what Joe could only guess was a jump rope?) to a scooter. The scooter carried two kids while a third desperately tried to keep their center of gravity underneath them as they all raced down the hallway, laughter and profanities left in their wake. 

The receptionist behind the desk leaned over, offering encouragement as her iPhone lens tracked them as they all loudly screamed upon realizing they would have to turn a corner. 

As they took the corner (with only one loud "FUCK" uttered as the hover boarder's shoulder made contact with the wall, but impressively, stayed on) the receptionist shook her head as she watched the video back. Snickering, her thumbs flew as she added a caption. The nameplate attached to the front of her desk identified her as Erin.

Erin looked up once the video had been posted to her Story and her eyes lit up as they fell on Rami.

"Well, well, well. Look who came CRAWLING back to us. Mister Oscar Winner."

Rami rubbed the back of his neck, "Seriously, Erin? I literally saw you last week." 

Erin made her way around the desk to wrap him in a hug, "Doesn't matter. And besides, I just like seeing the internal struggle that you go through where you want to brag about having an Oscar but also don't want to seem like a massive prick." 

Rami shrugged, "It's a fine line always." 

"Sometimes it's so fine it's nonexistent." Lucy piped up which caused Erin to collapse into giggles as Rami rolled his eyes and Joe smirked. 

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy your company IMMENSELY." Erin said as she turned to Lucy and shook her hand.

"Likewise." Lucy offered as Erin turned to Joe.

"What about me? Are we going to become instant besties?" Joe joked as he shook Erin's hand.

Erin shrugged, "Depends, are you going to roast Rami with me?"

"Absolutely. No hesitation. He's not even my friend."

Erin clapped him on the shoulder, "Good man. We're now besties."

Joe hissed a "yes" as Rami, oblivious to all of this, craned his neck to try to see where the joy riders had disappeared to down the hallway. 

"Glad to see the trend of 'tying wheeled objects to other wheeled objects' hasn't died out." He shot a knowing smile at Erin who rolled her eyes. 

"They'll be back, they usually make a few laps." Erin sighed. "They usually do this whenever new people show up, trying to impress you guys," she fluttered her fingers in the direction of Lucy and Joe. 

"Plus around three everyone starts getting stir crazy so...hover boards." She waved her hand flippantly in the air as if that gesture explained the inner mechanisms of bored teenager's brains. 

Rami nodded, "I have fond memories of us, well, Ivy, almost dying when we tied a skateboard to a bike and tried to make it down the hill, you remember that?" Erin nodded as she threw her arm around his shoulders as they both sighed at the memory of being young and stupid.

Lucy's eye flicked over to Joe who shrugged. 

"We should definitely recreate that" Rami declared.

Joe's eyes lit up at the prospect of doing something so chaotic as Lucy turned to Erin, "Do you have a bike, jump rope and skateboard?" 

Erin laughed, then upon seeing the trio in front of her not joining in, realized they were serious, and quickly swallowed her laughter as she cleared her throat.

"We definitely do but your 'meeting'," Erin put air quotes around meeting, knowing full well it was an excuse for them to fuck around and do stupid shit like this for the rest of the day, "with Ivy is in like, two minutes and she'll be so pissed if she misses out on that." 

Erin paused, eyes raised up and to the right as if she could look right through the floor to where Ivy was. "Honestly, if you propose the idea to Ivy right away, you guys could discuss logistics for this week and build that at the same time." 

Rami nodded once in understanding, "Good call, she's always been a fan of multi-tasking anyway." 

Erin laughed, "Yeah, remember when she was just starting this foundation? She had so much to remember and do, and we came in one day and she was grouting one of the bathrooms, on the phone with a sponsor and was sending out a mass email asking for volunteers all at the same time?"

Joe and Lucy exchanged looks as Rami and Erin chuckled over a memory that went right over their heads.

Lucy spoke up, "Sorry, but you two'll have to explain further. All Rami told me was that he was visiting an old friend and I was on the phone with Joe at the time and he invited himself."

Joe adopted an affronted expression, "Well EX-cuse me for ruining an outing that you were already barging in on!" 

Lucy gave his shoulder a gentle shove with a twinkle in her eye,  "Maybe if you didn't have to call me every time you heard a Queen song in public this wouldn't be an issue!" 

Joe opened his mouth to respond when Rami interjected, "Ivy's been my friend for forever. We met doing community theater. She always talked about how it was so hard for kids to get involved in the arts because there was such a sense of elitism attached to it, she wanted to make it more accessible to kids."

He paused and took in the scene around him, people running back and forth through the lobby, calling out to each other, going over song ideas, running lines, carrying pieces of props back and forth, collaborating on beats, and that was just in the lobby. He knew that further into the building they'd discover recording studios, blackbox spaces, auditoriums, dance studios, a gym and a living space that had been added on after Ivy and the other co-founders had been caught camping out in one of the auditoriums after a particularly grueling event planning session for the foundation. 

Erin picked up where Rami had trailed off, "And not just things like acting and singing. All the backstage work, the stage managers, the people who mix music, who build sets, who do special effects makeup, all the non-acting and singing jobs, she wanted to shine a light on them too. So, she started this foundation to give kids a chance to explore all the options the arts provide. She likes having individuals who have 'made it' come in from time to time. Either to visit, maybe talk to the kids, teach some classes, give a lecture or even, in this case, just to hang out."

"I think she mainly wanted me to come so she could meet Lucy since I wouldn't shut up about her every time we talked." Rami admitted with a grin as Lucy threw her head back and laughed.  

Erin glanced between them, "So, how long have you two been dating?" 

Lucy glanced at Rami, "About a year now."

"But it feels like forever." Rami quickly added as he squeezed Lucy into his side and planted a kiss on to the top of her head.

"Oh that's disgusting. Get out of here with that shit." Erin said as a smile broke over her face.

"They're always that cute. Frankly, I'm getting fed up with their happiness." Joe said as he smiled at Erin and rolled his eyes. 

"Well, what about you, Joseph? You dating anyone?" Erin crossed her arms as she directed her piercing gaze onto him.

"Ah, well, no. Not at this time. I don't know, guess I haven't found the right person." Joe shrugged as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Hmm. Tell me Joe, how do you feel about women who can grout a bathroom AND ask for money all at the same time?" Erin jokingly said as Rami snapped his gaze over to Joe.

"Holy shit, dude. No, this could be perfect."

Lucy, smelling a scheme and wanting in immediately, turned to Rami and Erin, "What do you mean?" She shook her head, "You know what? Doesn't matter. I'm in."

Joe, looking very much like a panicked gazelle after realizing lions hd him surrounded, looked between the three of them, "I'm not sure I like where this is going."

Erin completely ignored him as she turned her full focus onto Rami and Lucy, "They would be perfect together. I mean, Rami, you know Ivy. Tell me they wouldn't be so cute together." 

Lucy scrunched her nose as she pondered what Erin had just said, "Wait, is she the one with the nose piercing?"

"YES." Rami turned to Erin, "Ivy's FaceTimed me a few times and she's met Lucy that way."

Lucy's eyes lit up, "Oh my god, she's beautiful. Yeah, they would be such a good match!"

"CAN I GET A SAY IN THIS PLEASE?" Joe interjected as he waved his arms over his head to get the groups attention. 

Everyone's gaze snapped to Joe and Erin had the decency to look guilty, "Sorry. I got carried away. Ivy just," her eyes flitted around as she tried to pick the best words to describe her friend's situation, "She doesn't think she deserves to date nice guys so her past few boyfriends have all been assholes. I just really want her to date someone good and if Rami and my new bestie Lucy think you're a good guy well...I trust them." Erin said as she shot Joe a half smile.

Joe crossed his arms, "Alright, that's...sweet. But still. I'd at least like to meet this girl before you guys pick out rings for us."

Erin's phone vibrated at that moment and risked a glance down at it. She looked up to announce, "Well, luckily you'll be able to meet her in a few minutes, Ivy's current meeting is wrapping up in two minutes. So, get ready to meet your future wife." she joked as Joe rolled his eyes and Lucy snickered. 

"You guys can take a seat while you wait. I should probably actually go do my job." Erin said begrudgingly as she trudged back behind her desk.

They all offered their thanks and wandered over to the chairs in front of Erin's desk. The desk was situated in the middle of two staircases that came down from the second floor. Joe could see glass-walled office spaces, each outfitted with a dry erase board, tables, chairs, charging ports and a mini fridge. 

Rami nudged him as he pointed to the first room at the top of the right staircase, "You see the girl writing at the whiteboard? That's Ivy." 

Joe followed his finger as his eyes swept over the room noticing the two men and four women. Only one of the women was scribbling something onto the white board, her back facing the lobby. 

She was wearing a pair of denim cutoff shorts, a white t-shirt and converse. She spun around and her hair followed as she opened her mouth in a silent laugh. 

Her smile made the whole room brighter, everyone seemed more jovial as she talked and gestured with her hands to drive her point home. 

Joe couldn't take his eyes off her. 

Lucy looked over at Joe to make a comment about what his first impression was of his future girlfriend but when she saw the dazed look that had come over him, she pressed her lips together and knew that it wouldn't be "maybe" they'd start dating but "when" they started dating. 

Rami raised his hand in an enthusiastic wave to try to get Ivy's attention. Her eyes flicked toward the movement then away. A second later they clapped back onto her friend as her face broke open into a wide smile as she waved wildly back. 

"Gang, let's wrap up this meeting, Rami's here and I want to hang out with him." Ivy announced to the room. Everyone agreed and started gathering their things.

"I didn't know Rami was coming to visit, did he bring his girlfriend?" Ava, their HR Wonder Woman/personal trainer, was peering down into the lobby waving wildly back at Rami, who at this point, was jumping up and down.

Ivy glanced up from her laptop as she saved her notes and snorted at Rami's actions, "Yeah. I told him if he didn't bring her here, to his humble beginnings, I'd track her down myself and force her to come visit." 

Charlotte, their finance wizard and the one to corral board members, barked out a laugh, "Yeah, that would look really good for us. 'Local Non-Profit Investigated for Kidnapping Charges.' That would really help us get more money."

"Better than us bamboozling funds." Adam, their music mixing master, pointed out as he pushed Ivy's cup of iced coffee closer to her so she wouldn't forget it. Ivy smiled her thanks as she took a sip.

"Yeah, better to explain a kidnapping charge than doing weird shit with people's money like buying furry costumes or having wild orgy parties." Sean, their 'Bob the Builder' of set designs, chimed in as he stood by the conference room door, sticking a pencil behind his ear.

Gracie, their social media coordinator looked up from her phone, "Why would we be having wild orgies?"

"Well, wasn't Dionysus the god of theatre? He was also the god of parties and all things hedonistic so...orgies." Sean offered as if that all made perfect sense.

"Also, it's a well known fact, all theatre kids are horny on main so it probably wouldn't be a huge shock to most people." Ivy said as she took another sip of her drink. 

"As much as I love talking about orgies and kidnapping others with you guys, Ivy you better get down there. All three of them are jumping up and down and waving now." Ava offered from her vantage point by the window.

"All three? I thought it was just Rami and Lucy?" Ivy's brow crinkled as she walked over to the window.

"There's a third guy. He seems pretty cute in a 'basic white boy' way."

"Oh my god. Ivy. Date him. He sounds like he’s just your type." 

"God, Adam, you act like I've never dated anyone, ever."

"Well, no one good at least." Charlotte mumbled under her breath as she continued furiously typing.

"CHARLOTTE." Ivy screeched as she whirled around to face the room at large. 

Gracie threw up her hands, "Someone had to say it! It might as well be Charlotte! She's known you the longest."

"Yeah, but-I mean, this is-c'mon guys!" Ivy knew her voice was getting whiny but she couldn't help it. Her friends always ganged up on her about her dating life and she really didn't want to hear it. Especially when she was so close to getting out of work for the rest of the day.

Adam threw an arm around Ivy's shoulder as he passed by her on his way to the door, "Now, now everyone. Just because Ivy's never dated a good man before doesn't mean she ever will. It will just take an act of god to make that happen." 

"Fuck. Off."

Adam planted a loud kiss to Ivy's cheek as he scurried out of the room with Sean following close behind, "LOVE YOU IVY."

Ivy rolled her eyes and turned to the remaining women in the room. 

"Is my taste in men really that bad?" 

"YES." 

Ivy winced as all three of them answered with no hesitation.

Charlotte sighed as she adjusted one of her dreads, "It's because we love you that we say these things. We want what's best for you."

Gracie and Ava nodded in agreement as Ivy slumped against the window and groaned.

"I know you do. I can't help it! Every time a guy is actually nice and sweet I get so scared he'll leave me that I just...go for the exact opposite so I don't get hurt."

There was a long pause then Gracie blinked, "That's...a lot to unpack."

"You're telling me." Ivy mumbled as Ava wrapped her in a hug.

"We still love you but maybe, just try going for an actual nice guy. Just this once. I know I'm just a simple lesbian but I'm sure there has to be a nice guy out there right?"

"Do you really believe that?" Ivy leaned her head on Ava's shoulder. 

"No, not at all. I just thought it would make you feel better. Did it?"

"Well, it did until you told me you lied."

"Hmm. Yeah. My bad. Well! Go get 'em." Ava said as she patted Ivy on the back and swept out the door.

Ivy rolled her eyes, "Will I ever hire or befriend people who aren't a giant pain in my ass?" 

"Not likely."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Char."

"No problem. NOW GO. See your friend. We love you."

Ivy waved as she walked out the door toward her office, thumbing through her phone till she got to Erin's contact information.

As she stepped inside her office, the light coming in from her bay window almost blinded her as she dropped her stuff onto her desk. 

"Are you coming down or what? You told me you'd be down like, three thousand hours ago."

"Your perspective of time is a little worrisome."

"ARE YOU COMING DOWN OR WHAT."

"Yes, oh my god, I just wanted to let you know that I'm dropping my stuff off in my office then I'll be down and I would be oh so grateful if you'd rely that information to Rami, Lucy and Joe."

"Yeah, I can do that. By the way, Joe? Very cute. Good sense of humor. Single. Seems like he'd have a nice dic-"

"ERIN."

"WHAT. I'm just letting you know what I've observed so far!"

Ivy rolled her eyes, "I don't even want to know how you got to that last conclusion but honestly he's probably not even going to be interested in me."

Erin scoffed, "Want to fucking bet? He was definitely checking you out earlier. Mayhaps someone has a crush..." She singsonged into the phone as Ivy's heartbeat sped up against her will. 

The idea of someone like Joe having a crush on her was, well, too much for her to even consider. It was easier to go for guys that she really didn't like or who liked her more than she liked them. That way, she never got hurt. She never had to spend another night crying over some guy who didn't give her the time of day. No one was disappointed when they finally got to know the real her. She could keep her focus on her work, which is where her focus should be.

Not on some cute, seemingly nice guy who might break her heart.

But some nights, some nights she couldn't help but wish she had someone she really, genuinely liked holding her close.

She started to imagine flirting with Joe. Going on dates with him. Holding his hand. Kissing him. She felt a warmth start to seep through her stomach as she imagined him kissing her, then moving down to kiss her neck, her chest, her-

"...ASS down here so I can prove to you I'm right." Ivy refocused her eyes on her reflection in her dark monitor screen as Erin's command broke through her thoughts. "Alright, alright, tell them I'll be down in, like, 30 seconds."

She hung up and took a deep breath. She ran her fingers through her hair and walked towards the door. 

She paused, turned back and rifled through the drawer of her desk. She quickly applied some lipstick and sprayed a cloud of perfume in front of her, waited a beat, then walked through it.

It couldn't hurt.

~~~

Erin, shaking her head, lowered the phone from her ear and looked at the trio in front of her, still waving like those on a dock waving to an ocean liner on its maiden voyage. "She's running to her office real quick and then she'll be down, promise."

Rami lowered his arm as Lucy shook her's out, "Yeah, I saw her race off." Lucy nodded in agreement and spared a glance at Joe who kept running a hand through his hair, a sure sign he was nervous.

"So, I saw some guy kiss Ivy's cheek, did she start dating someone without us knowing or..." Lucy trailed off as she subtly flicked her eyes over to Joe then back to Erin. Erin's eyes widened in understanding and inclined her head to let Lucy know Don't worry, I get what you're trying to do and we're on the same team. Lucy nodded once and in that moment, an alliance was born.

Rami couldn't tell what had tectonic shift had just transpired between Erin and Lucy but decided to stay out of it.

Shaking her head, Erin replied, "No, that's just Adam. He's known Ivy for forever. Everyone here is pretty affectionate with each other but, like I said earlier, Ivy's single," she emphasized as Joe's hand stilled in his hair, "and Adam has a serious boyfriend who's usually hanging around here." Lucy nodded knowingly as Joe felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders. 

He didn't like to admit it, but the idea of Ivy having a boyfriend had caused him to deflate, just a little.

"Speak of the fucking devil," Erin muttered, then louder, "THERE YOU ARE. I was about to send out a search and rescue mission for you." 

"Well call it off. I'm here. And it wasn't that long!" Ivy said defensively as she trotted down the stairs. 

Erin noticed how Ivy's hair looked liked it had been brushed, the waves were softer. The woodsy scent of Ivy's favorite perfume reached Erin's nostrils as Ivy gave her a quick hug. When she clocked the freshly applied lipstick it all clicked. She smiled as she realized that Ivy must have taken a while to freshen up because she was trying to impress Joe. 

"What the hell are you smiling about?"

"What? Can I not smile?"

"I mean, you can. But it was weird to come out of the hug and have you just smiling at me. It's a little creepy." 

"Well fine. See if I ever smile at you again." Erin bumped her hip against Ivy's as Ivy turned to greet Rami. 

"WELL, WELL, WELL. If it isn't Mister 'I Won an Oscar So I'm Too Good For My Non-Oscar Winning Friends'."

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT."

As Ivy continued to tease Rami and meet Lucy in person, Joe got a chance to look at Ivy up close. He noticed she had freckles covering her cheeks and nose he hadn't noticed before. Her lips were full, her eyes bright as she laughed at something Lucy had said. Her smile was even more radiant up close. She was short, shorter than Joe and he wanted nothing more than to wrap an arm around her shoulder and tuck her into his side. 

Ivy shifted and Joe noticed how the muscles of her thigh moved underneath her skin and wanted nothing more than to feel those thighs wrapped around his head as he went down on her. Feeling them squeeze the sides of his head as he wrapped one hand around her thigh while the other hand teased her entrance...

"Joe? JOEY. Come back to us." Erin laughed. 

Joe snapped back to attention and saw a bemused Ivy staring back at him with her hand outstretched. 

"I promise I don't have cooties."

Joe shook his head as he mentally kicked himself, "Yeah, no, I'm so sorry, uh, I'm Joe! It's nice to meet you." 

"Nice to meet you too. A little disappointed you didn't bring the cardboard cutout of Ben."

"That's going to follow me until the day I die isn't it?"

"Well yeah. Especially since I'm assuming you'll be buried together." 

Joe laughed and Ivy smiled at him.

Erin and Lucy exchanged looks as they both noticed their hands were still connected. 

Rami cut in, "Ivy, we saw these kids roll past on a scooter with a hover board attached and it reminded me of the time we did the same thing but with-"

"-with a bike and a skateboard, hell yes!" Ivy exclaimed as she let her hand slip from Joe's as she turned to meet Rami's excited expression. 

Joe flexed his hand and realized how cold it was. 

"I know where all that stuff is, follow me." She linked arms with Rami and started skipping down the hall with him. Lucy laughed while Joe, not one to be left behind, linked his arm through Lucy's and started skipping after them.

"Soooo," Lucy said as they followed the laughing pair down a hallway lined with vintage concert posters and records with doors that led to recording studios, "what do you think of your new girlfriend? Is there a spark?" 

"I think she's really great." Joe offered with a noncommittal shrug, "I don't really know what else to say beyond that, but I think we're going to get along well." 

"Do you think she's pretty?" Lucy pressed, never one to beat around the bush.

Joe took a second and finally decided that with Lucy, the truth was always better. She would find out anyway, "Yeah, I do." Hoping the forced casual tone of his voice would downplay how beautiful he really thought she was.

Lucy nodded while on the inside she was jumping up and down and cheering. 

All the while, Erin watched them receding down the hallway and spoke to herself, as if she were a Greek chorus of one, "I give them a week before they can't keep their hands off of each other."

[ourladyhart]

Ethical Gift Giving (But On A Budget)

I stumbled across this today and I absolutely love it! This is a fantastic chart to get you thinking about ways you can give during the holiday season whilst reducing our future impact on the environment and get creative at the same time. Definitely a win/win!

I have a couple of extra tips to add for those of us on a low income or those who are on a tight budget. The holiday season can be particularly tough when you’re living below the poverty line or are barely making your pay check stretch month to month. It can make us feel excluded or even ashamed of ourselves; and whilst this couldn’t be further from the truth – you are so valid regardless of your financial position – there are lots of different ways that you can still give and feel included with little to no funds.

Give Memories: Lovely photo frames are easily found at $2 shops or op shops; and if you don’t have access to a printer, you can print from your phone or USB at Kmart for about 10 cents a print. Our generation often forgets how nice it is to have physically framed photos and getting a photo that means a lot to your friend or family is a beautiful personal touch.

Total cost: Less than $5

Experience days don’t have to be a trip to the movies, an escape room or ice skating, and the cost of these activities can rack up quickly. Instead, you can make a “movie day” at home for you and a friend. You could even give them this gift in the form of a handmade “IOU 1 Movie Day”. Set up a picnic on the living room floor and watch your favourite movie together. You can also bake together or get some cheap snacks from the supermarket whilst you both veg out.

Total cost: Less than $10

Give Your Time:

I love this one! Again, you could hand make cute vouchers for these, “1 Day of Helping You Organise Your Wardrobe” or “1 Day of Building Your Website”, etc etc.

Remember, in this busy day and age sometimes all we want is actually just time spent with the people we love; and your company is often enough. If your friend suffers from chronic pain or a mental illness; they may love some help with cleaning. Perhaps they don’t often eat a home cooked meal and you could whip something up for them. These actions are often invaluable.

Total cost: Free – Your time

Upcycle:

Well you know this one is absolutely going to be my favourite! I am huge on street finds and items I procure; fixing them up and then passing them on. You can often find great items of furniture or knick knacks in council clean ups. It’s a good idea to check out when the next dates will be in your area; so you can get ready for some “late night shopping”!

If friends give me hand me down items throughout the year, they often come with “Oh, it was almost perfect, but…”. I listen to what they didn’t like about the original item then give it a total up cycle before giving it back to them. It’s often a lovely delight! My favourite of these was when an old flatmate gave me a sad looking lamp. I gave it a really good Tiki Bar sort of look (which she was obsessed with) and gave it back for Christmas. To this day, it’s her favourite object she owns.

Total cost: Free – $50 depending on which materials you use

I’m going to add three of my own sections in here:

Re-Gift:

We all get gifts throughout the year that we’re not sure why they were gotten for us but you’re not really sure what to do with. SAVE THESE ALL! I put all mine in a bag or box in my laundry so when Christmas time comes round, you’ve already got a haul of presents to give. My husband and I often get thank you gifts of alcohol from the community, but neither of us drink. Other people certainly do though and this is a lovely gift for people who do drink to receive.

I know there is a bit of controversy on re-gifting, but I know if I gave a gift that wasn’t quite right, I would love for it to be passed on to someone who could truly appreciate it.

Total Cost: Free

Save The Accessories:

I can’t recommend hanging onto gift bags, used wrapping paper, birthday candles, banners, and cards throughout the year. You can even ask friends or family at the end of their parties if you can have the gift bags or wrapping if they’re going to just throw them out. This saves SO MUCH money each year on having to buy new wrapping equipment, and it’s readily on hand when you need it. If you haven’t been doing this already, start now and put them in with your re-gifting stash for the end of each year. You’ll thank me next Christmas!

Total Cost: Free

Ask:

Your friends and family probably have a whole heap of storage stuff they haven’t been through in ages; and once they do will be looking to unload a lot of stuff. I love to help my friends organise their stuff in exchange for anything they want to give me. The old adage “Ask and you shall receive” is gold here, so pop on your thrifty hat and don’t be afraid to ask those around you if they’ve got anything they want to get rid of.

Total Cost: Free or Time

Buy Second Hand:

Op shops are my definitely jam, with about 95% of my clothes being second hand. My wedding dress was a $45 vintage dress from Vinnies Newtown.

Op Shops (or Thrift Shops for our American friends) are TREASURE TROVES of second hand trinkets, clothes, furniture, and weird things you can only imagine. Give yourself plenty of time to wonder around and let objects or clothes let themselves known to you.

Boutique antique stores can often come with a boutique price tag, but you can find just as wonderful vintage and antique pieces at markets or throughout op shops.

eBay and Gumtree are also great places to find items for a lot cheaper than RRP prices and you can often barter for a lower price or find something similar for a lot less.

Total Cost: $2 plus, depending on what you’re after

Make: One of the most sentimental gifts I made was with a $2 ball of wool and some knitting needles. I sat night after night and knitted my friend a scarf for her birthday. Along with it, I included a beautiful note about how the scarf helped me with my recovery after a hospital stay in June; and that I wanted her to always be warm and cosy. She wore it every day of Winter this year! Other things I’ve made over the years for gifts include hats (of course!), costume pieces, spell jars / spell kits often for success and love, candles, cookies, paintings and general pretty things.

Cooking or baking makes a lot of treats for minimal bucks. You can bake up a large batch of cookies, and even save a bit more cash by buying recipe boxes when they’re on sale at the supermarket. Decorate them then pop some into a tie up bag, it’s a super cute and delicious gift!

Total Cost: $2 plus, depending on what you make

Buy:

Finally, if you must buy; buy independently. Buy from small businesses, buy from artists. Your money will be funding groceries for another week for a family, or maybe even a special treat like going to the movies or purchasing new towels. Buy compassionately and support those who need it most. I can promise you the gift of support you give to these businesses and artists will cause the biggest smiles for Christmas; and that’s what spreading the true joy of the season is all about.

Bonus Tip!

You can also save money on feeding the masses by opting for food options designed to feed a lot of people at once. Meals like spaghetti bologanise, BBQ, pizza, rice and so forth may not be typically Christmassy; but they will stretch to feed a lot for less.

You can also ask everyone to bring a dish and then all the guests can share a bounty of food whilst keeping in with the community spirit.

Total Cost: $5 plus depending on what you make

[thebibliosphere]

Hello fam. This is a post brought to you by a Patreon request—I know, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these—from Sarah G, asking my thoughts and opinions on the Zero Waste movement that is sweeping across certain parts of the online strata, particularly on youtube and pinterest. (Links are in bold for  ease of access and viewing, and are non affiliated.)

Sarah writes: Hi  Joy, I know this isn’t exactly in the realm of vampires (can’t wait for  Phangs!) but I feel this is something you might have some good advice  on if you have the spoons to talk about it. I recently started looking  into more eco-friendly ways to live after your posts about allergies and  toxic synthetics made me realize I had several things in my home that  were triggering my asthma and I came across the concept of zero waste,  which sounded really cool at first, and then I looked into it some more  and it just sort of seems fake and I was wondering what your thoughts  were on it.

Zero Waste is indeed something I’m familiar with, and like you, I have mixed feelings on the community around it. The principles of Zero Waste i.e. reducing the amount of waste you produce an the types  of waste you produce, are great. I think it’s a solid, good idea to try  and promote more ethical produce and buying habits, both for the planet and from a personal financial stand point. The more you can reuse and  recycle the better. But I also feel the … fandom (can you call it  that???) can be quite off putting and at times extremely self righteous and judgemental in attitude. Amidst the crunchy hippies, the minimalists and those just straight up trying to live a little better, are those who have managed to make something meant for the betterment of the planet into something about themselves, and they're willing and ready to make sure we know just how evil we are for still having plastic straws with our drinks. Cause, y’know, it’s not big companies doing the most damage to the environment, no sirree it’s you and your plastic water bottle, you monster. (Don’t  worry, we’ll get to why the war on plastic is being handled wrong.)

Yea, those people are very fake and very off putting, and I see a lot  of them on youtube. And a lot of the time, they’re actually giving  contradictory advice toward actually living a zero waste lifestyle.

When talking about this with other people, I have taken to calling this The Mason Jar Aesthetic.

A  while ago, while I was talking about sustainable living with a friend (hi Michael!), and he mentioned that he and his wife were thinking of using  mason jars as an alternative to buying expensive glassware, because if  one breaks, you’ll always be able to replace them easily and you'll always have a matching  set. Which blew my mind as genius because not only is that a super cost effective, but it’s also a really sustainable way of living, both from a zero waste ethic standpoint and financially too.

For example, where I am in the US,  for $15 I can usually get 12 half pint mason jars, if not for less  depending on where I shop. They come with lids and seal top discs, which  are easy to replace if I ever use them for canning and can also be safely frozen, sanitized and reused again and again, meaning they are long lasting and multi-purpose. And, if you are using them as drinkware and this is important to you, they all match.

For me however, the real benefit of the humble mason jar, is that they can be fully recycled, though it is important to note that in some regions, the tops may need to go to a separate facility from the glass jar itself, so you’d  need to check with your local recycling center on that. But regardless, the whole thing is recyclable, sturdy, multi-purpose, easily transportable (seal your drink and off you go!), cost effective, and some may even argue, aesthetically pleasing.

Pinterest certainly seems to think so:

[ID: a screenshot from the website Pinterest depicting many diy crafty projets for home and the kitchen involving mason jars]

Some of the larger pint ones, would also fit nicely into a mobility aid like a cup holder, for those of us who need easy to grip handles. (Also as an aside, if you need more stability and often lament that  there is no such thing as a two handed mug—or even if you find most mug  handles too small to get a good grip—those things are great, they just  clip right on. Life changing.) Because if your argument for sustainability isn’t inclusive, it’s not good enough.

Which  is where the war on plastic comes in. Looking at you “lets ban all  drinking straws regardless of the fact that plastic straws are a vital  necessity for some people with disabilities”, and no, pasta straws are not a safe alternative for everyone (allergies/celiac), metal is expensive and also inflexible, and neither are the bamboo, glass or silicone ones. Banning plastic straws at this moment in time, is not the solution.

Brighter minds than mine have tried to solve this, but as a general proposal, instead of an outright ban, until a sustainable and disabled friendly alternative is found, plastic straws in food establishments could be issued by request, without—and this is important—without shaming disabled people for needing to use something which you can easily opt to avoid if you desire  to do so. Because once more kids and with feeling, if your argument for sustainability isn’t inclusive, it’s not good enough.

(I am fully prepared to get hate over this, the arguments over this shit on twitter were wild. And no, it is not the responsibility of disabled people to come up with a solution to this, while subsisting on restricted income, restricted access to resources, and often times restricted mobility to boot. If you feel this strongly about disabled people using plastic straws, be part of the solution that helps to find a valid alternative. You want this problem fixed, you do it inclusively.)

Now, where was I, oh yeah. Mason jars.

By  contrast, a box of 4 glass tumblers of roughly the same volume, can be  anywhere from $10-$20 or even more depending on where you look. And  while they might look nice, they are single purpose, expensive, and  also—and this is important, cause not a lot of people know this—cannot be recycled.

But Joy, you say, waiting to throw the shards of the broken glass you just swept up off the floor into the recycling, how much damage can it  really do? Glass is just glass? Right?  

Well, here’s the thing about this type of glass. In order to make it thin and aesthetically appealing, it has to be treated with special chemicals (like molten potassium nitrate) to toughen it up and make it shock resistant to temperatures. The problem with this however, is that treated glass, doesn’t melt  at the same temperature as untreated glass, which can cause several  problems at recycling facilities, ranging from damaged equipment at the  plant (not good!) to creating flawed, glass which is too fragile for  use, and will ultimately, you guessed it, end up on the landfill. [Source] The same is true of mirrors and glass from doors and windowpanes. [Source]

So if you do drop your glass and it breaks, please don't put it in the recycling, wrap it up in brown paper and throw it in the trash. Similarly, if you are sick of the sight of your old glassware, don't pitch it. Instead consider giving it to goodwill or your local equivalent. Someone will use it.

And don't feel bad if you didn't know. I never knew this either till a while ago, but it made me  really think twice about how non-eco-friendly and sustainable my home life  is. And I’m not saying this to guilt anymore or make you feel bad that  you don’t do more, heck knows I never used to give a crap about any of  this stuff until I started getting sick and developed multiple chemical  sensitivities (Hi if you’re new here, I’m allergic to the modern world due  to some frankly dystopian levels of auto-immune problems that emerged  in the last few years, send help) and realized just how very not good a  lot of the things I was doing are, for both me and the planet.

I  am not a crunchy hippy by choice, but by necessity of survival. You  have to be when plastics and most mattress fillers and couch stuffing  starts bringing you out in a rash/makes you wheeze and suddenly you find  yourself wandering the aisles of “eco-friendly" stores wondering if the sales rep you’re listening to actually knows what they’re talking about or  if they’re a tinfoil hatter who also puts essential oils in their drinking water. (We've been over this, do not.)

But do you know what I also noticed in those supposedly eco-friendly stores?

Mason jar drinkware being sold at $20 a pop. Surely, I thought to myself, surely it’s $20 for a set of at least four?

Nope.

And  do you know what else? This wasn’t just a regular mason jar glass that  had been tinted blue, no, this was “treated shock resistant glass”. So  what they did was, they took an iconic recyclable object that is  actually very cheap to produce and buy, inflated the cost by a huge  amount, and then, made it non-recyclable, for profit.

Are-you-freaking-kidding-me?

And  that’s a huge problem I find, with trying to find information and  resources online about sustainable living and eco-friendly products, because a lot of them? Are actually hugely wasteful if not in actual material, then certainly in mentality.

I watched one notable youtuber vlog about how she got rid of everything in her  kitchen and replaced it with more eco-friendly (and extremely expensive) options, because she just couldn’t stand the thought of those  "toxic" things being in her kitchen … except … they weren’t doing her any harm, and they weren’t worn out. They weren’t falling apart. They were still very much safe and usable and might even have been donated to somewhere like goodwill for someone else to use … but she threw them out to replace them with shiny bamboo and kitschy ceramics, and now they’re heading toward a landfill, where they will not be used to their fullest extent, and where they will pollute the earth.

Surely by the zero waste ethos, it’s more sustainable to use the product until it has to be replaced, and then buy the eco-made alternative?

To  give you an example, I’m in the process of replacing all my tupperware with glass, metal and ceramics because I’m allergic to plastics, but also because I’d like to invest in more sustainable planet friendly options for the future. But I’m also doing it once piece at a time. Partly because my husband can and does still use those things, but also because, well, I  can’t afford to replace them all. I just plain can’t, it’s too  expensive to go out and replace all my leftover food containers with  stainless steel lunch boxes from Japan. I’d like to, and I wish I could,  but if wishes were horses then I’d need a much bigger yard. (That’s how  that saying goes, right?)

I guess the point of this lengthy  ramble, is a complaint that the aesthetic of sustainability is actually  more popular than actual ethical sustainable practices. Too many people  are concerned with looking like they care, but don’t actually  want to get into the nuance of things. And I get it, I do. It’s nice to  feel like you’re doing something good. Who doesn’t want to feel  like they’re taking responsibility for their time on this earth and  being the best version of themselves?

But it has to require  thought, and method, and looking beyond the narrow scope of your own four walls (metaphorical or otherwise) and what that one person on youtube said, while merely swapping one form of consumerism for another because it looks and feels ethical, but not actually exacting any kind of global change.

And that’s the difference between using a mason jar to drink out of, and the Mason Jar Aesthetic. Being aware of your impact on the earth and doing what you can within your limits and means (and respecting the means of others), vs wanting to be seen as such. And it's an important distinction and one that requires self reflection and a great deal more thought than buying into an aesthetic.

Me switching out all my plastics and turning my backyard into a compost heap might make my home more eco-friendly, but real change cannot be effected without also putting pressure on large corporations (looking at you Nestle) to change their practices, and boycotting those stores in favor of expensive organic and "ethical" brands is not the solution to this. It merely creates a niche market where the rich and privileged are able to live in a very small self-contained bubble of moral "eco purity", while actively punching down at those who cannot. Real change? Comes from getting involved in the community and lobbying against big corporations like Nestle turning round and extracting water from drought stricken states, and then selling it back for profit.  It's boots to the ground, and writing letters and emails, and doing more than just buying organic bamboo washcloths and telling yourself you saved the world one micro-bead of plastic at a time.

So do I think zero waste is a crock? Absolutely not, at the core it has some great points about how we use and consume products, which are things we should be thinking about in our day to day lives. But do I feel it places too much emphasis on the self rather than the global community? Absolutely. And at it's core sustainability isn't about the self. It's about community, and the changes we can affect together in order to make the world a little better than how we found it.

Otherwise it's just survivalism with a rose tinted aesthetic.

What do you guys think? Does anyone have anything to add? Let me know in the comments and see if we can get a discussion going. Also, if you’d like to see more of these types of posts, Patreon subscribers can expect to see them two weeks earlier than tumblr, and get a say in what we discuss, so if you’d like to see me talk about something, let me know :)

[Patreon] * [Twitter] * [Ko-Fi] * [Facebook]

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 6]

Last time, bad things happened.

This time, the goal is fewer bad things.

With great optimism, the no-grinding Nuzlocke heads to Cycling Road.

Great. Optimism.

The plan was for Po to handle all of these, but Allenby’s falling behind a little, and I would prefer a little buffer there... On the other hand, Po can’t be poisoned. I judge it as we go, with Po doing the majority of the heavy lifting.

According to the tough guys in this game, I’m a mouse.

Cue Ball Luke has a level 29 Mankey. Hey Allenby, look, it’s those things Po shouldn’t fight! Welcome back to getting some slivers of exp! Take the Machop too while you’re at it!

He called me a rat after I beat him. Heh.

Biker Lao has more what we were expecting, with a level 29 Grimer. And Koffing.

Cue Ball Koji demands my bike. Someone didn’t read the rules of Cycling Road. Or have the gatekeeper loudly object to them trying to walk on this here road. He’s got a level 28 Machop. Go, Allenby. Feed on it and the following Mankey. And then the next Machop.

You only have one pokemon. Are you going to be a problem?

One level 33 Weezing.

Gone now.

Wait, what?

Biker Ruben, find yourself some kinder friends. You deserve them. Even with your level 28 Weezing. Koffing next. Then another Weezing, because Ruben is a chill dude who trains his pokemon.

You can tell if someone in these rows is a Biker or Cue Ball based on how mean they are in their lines. ...Cue Ball Camron wants to battle. Level 29 Mankey for Allenby. + Machop.

And that’s us beating up a biker gang. At the tender age of ten. The only age anyone in a Pokemon game does anything.

Unless you’re Alolan and you want to be eleven for some strange reason I don’t understand.

Made it to the Route 17 part of Cycling Road. Where there is grass. Let us approach.

Many spawns that were things I couldn’t catch later!

Yay, caught it. Uhhh. Lu.

Back to fighting. Cue Ball Raul. One Mankey for Allenby. Then a Primeape for a mirror match.

Cue Ball Isaiah next. To spare Allenby some pain, Po takes the level 29 Machop. Allenby gets the Machamp.

Or Allenby can use up all PP for Cross Chop and scare me into pushing Heero into the ring.

Biker Virgil. Presumably without the electric powers. But with a level 28 Weezing. Koffing. Weezing.

Good for you.

Biker Billy.

With your level 33 Muk.

The problem with Cycling Road is I’m never sure if I’ve actually hit all the trainers. And that’s normally, when it doesn’t really matter except for my happiness levels.

Biker Jaxon has a level 29 Weezing. And a level 29 Muk.

Rode all the way back to Fuchsia and have to go back up. I am a ripped ten-year-old.

Biker William has five pokemon. First up is a level 25 Koffing. Maybe I should share these with Allenby a little. You want to fight a Weezing, Allenby? Of course you do. Stay in for the Koffing, even. Let it destroy your accuracy. Let it force Po to take the Weezing alone.

Hi Corey.

I think I will let Heero fight your level 29 Primeape. Allenby can take the Machoke.

Cue Ball Zeek is up next. With a level 33 Machoke that Po should not fight, so hero time for Heero again.

Biker Nikolas uses a level 29 Voltorb. To remind us he matters I guess. Zaft can kill the next one.

Cue Ball Jamal has the staple Mankey at level 26. Allenby, go handle the next one. And try not to make me cry against the Machamp. Hey, you did a good job! Nice! Your prize is staying in for the Machop.

I think that might be everyone. Dang. That leaves me precious few options. Wait, no, there’s the Route 18 bird boys for Po to nom.

Bird Keeper Wilton with a level 29 Spearow. Followed by Fearow.

You’re only allowed to have that attitude if you have a bike. Jacob. With your level 26 Spearow. All two of them before a Fearow. Then a final Spearow.

Bird Keeper Ramiro has a single level 34 Dodrio. Like a boss.

Okay, now what.

I could beat up Rockets in Saffron. Or fight Koga. Or go to the Safari Zone. Or maybe take a small break.

Break having been taken, I have to ask, because I have no inclination to look it up: what the fuck even is the intended order for these things? I’m pretty sure Erika is the fourth Gym, and the Rocket plot in Saffron has to happen after the Rocket plot in Celadon, but past that, what is it that you are meant to do first?

I think it’s Koga and then the Saffron stuff, but it might not have to be.

Anyway, beating up Rockets.

Because Koga scares me.

And Safari Zone feels like work.

Dun dun dun.

We fine our first prey up on the second floor.

Grunt #1 has a level 25 Golbat. Zaft! Then a level 25 Zubat. Now Zaft wants to learn Rollout. Which I like except for the part where Zaft should not learn it. Anything that takes time is a no with Zaft.

Another Zubat. Followed by a Raticate. And finishing with another Zubat. All tributes to the mighty Zaft.

Po’s been in front for a while, so I think I’ll let Heero take the front for most of Silph Co.

Rude.

Second Grunt starts with a level 29 Cubone. Gee. I wonder what I miss most right now. Then Zaft can take the Zubat.

Scientist Jerry has a level 28 Magnemite. The Voltorb is Zaft’s for the taking. The Magneton... I think Heero can take it, though I have made things more difficult on her by deciding I want Zaft to have exp.

Thunder Wave. Yuck. But Heero gets the job done, and we’re already way used to walking back to the Pokemon Center at every opportunity.

So, stairs or teleport pads?

Teleport pads. Because I’m cool.

Scientist Parker says hello. Only with violence and a level 29 Grimer. Plus an Electrode for Zaft.

Aaaaaaand back to the Pokemon Center.

The bed does nothing. How dare you, bed. For all that I love the design of beds in this gen... why.

Grunt #3, aka one of the four Rocket Brothers. We don’t care. Level 28 Weezing up front, so Po is going to go ahead and come back out.

The Weezing uses Selfdestruct.

It takes out half of Po’s HP.

>:(

Koffing next. Then a Golbat for Zaft.

Rocket Bro One down.

Hi #4. He starts out with a level 26 Raticate. Arbok is next. Followed by Koffing. Lastly, we’ve got a Golbat for Zaft. The Grunts in this tower really care about Zaft’s development.

Apparently the teleporter pads aren’t going to take me anywhere with convenient speed the stairs can’t manage just as well. So I’m just gonna randomly wander the building up and down stairs until I beat everyone. Rendering the number system I sort of have completely useless.

Scientist Ed! Leading with a level 28 Voltorb! Then a Magneton. Then Koffing. Victory.

Coolio. Grunt #...5. With a level 28 Golbat up front. In the spirit of Zaft being three levels below Allenby, Zaft, you switch in and take this. Heero can go back in and handle the Drowzee. Po can have the Hypno. On we go.

To Scientist Travis! He’s got a level 29 Magnemite. Allenby, in the spirit of inclusion, you can fight his Koffing.

Grunt #6′s one and only is a level 33 Machoke. Heero saves the day.

Hey, finally reached the room with the Carbos.

And thanks to our valid behavior, it will have no effect if we give it to Zaft. Score. I guess.

Up at the top floor, we fight Grunt #7.

He has a level 25 Rattata.

Then another.

Zaaaaaaaaft.

Then a Zubat. Ekans can be Allenby’s. So can the Rattata. And adios.

They don’t even let you guys have your own lines.

Such a tragic life you lead, #8.

With a level 29 Cubone.

Ugh.

Allenby handles it and the next one.

Scientist Joshua up next. He’s got a level 29 Electrode. Muk comes out and Po responds in kind.

Why does everyone antagonistic in this game think I’m a mouse?

He opens with a level 26 Raticate. Then there’s a Zubat for Zaft. And a Golbat, how convenient. Last up is Rattata.

The last one, #10. Yay.

Level 29 Machop and Machoke.

Geez, where’s the bed that heals in this place? I need one.

Grunt #11 has a level 28 Zubat. Then another. Then a Golbat.

Why is this building so big.

Scientist Taylor has almost a full team. Starting with a level 25 Voltorb. Magneton next. Koffing. More Koffing.

I hate you I hate you I hate you

:-o

;-;

Heero, you... you take on the final Magnemite. Then we’re leaving.

What floor is this? Sixth. Okay. Great. Down to the bottom and the Pokemon Center, then I think I’ll just slowly go up the stairs until key items are earned and whatnot.

This place is too big.

Okay, all healed up and on the third floor, fighting back #12. Level 28 Raticate up first. Po in for the Hypno. Another Raticate for Allenby. Who’s earned some free exp.

Floor four! #13! Level 28 Ekans! Zubat! Cubone! Done!

#14 with a level 29 Machop. Po gets the Drowzee.

Floor five and #15. All he has is a level 33 Hypno.

#16 has a level 33 Arbok which will soon be Po food.

Scientist Beau. Level 26 Magneton. Magnemite. Koffing. Weezing.

Hey wait what’s your motive here? Juggler... Dalton?

I actually always really liked the Juggler class. They’re so cool. Oh, right. Kadabra and Mr. Mime. Now Dalton. Why did you attack your brave and valiant rescuer.

...Generic evil siding with Team Rocket. Fine.

Now I think I need to teleport around and look for the Card Key.

I know I shouldn’t complain about these things, given how valuable all the experience is, but I have never enjoyed Silph Co. Too many floors of the same design and same types of fights. I always got lost as a kid, and nowadays even though I’ve given up caring about where exactly I am, it’s still sort of a lot.

Back to the sixth floor, and I’ll just stomp on whatever pad looks good.

Teleport takes us to the second floor and an unfought Scientist. His name is Connor. He has a level 26 Grimer. Only past tense. Weezing up next. Koffing. When you side with Rockets your pokemon options deteriorate. Weezing.

And there’s nowhere else to go but back through the same teleport.

Have I mentioned that I hate this area.

Because let me tell you

the one redeeming factor it has is how many items are hidden in random trees.

Could you please just tell me who I have to mug for the damn Card Key.

Scientist Rodney. With the level 33 Electrode.

Good news, I found the Focus Punch TM.

Better news.

Time to open ALL the doors.

This part I can enjoy.

See how much better life is now.

Grunt #...17? Level 28 Drowzee. Grimer. Machop.

Okay, what floor is this? Ninth. Got it. Now to start from the bottom and just open every single door I find as I trot up the stairs. My happy place.

Oh, and beating up more people. Like Scientist Jose. With a level 29 Electrode. Weezing.

I hate this building.

Grunt #18! Has a level 29 Sandshrew! Then Sandslash!

What happens if you don’t unlock all the doors? Do the NPCs stay trapped in there even after the building’s freed? I doubt it, but for a few scant seconds the thought was funny.

I am back up to floor eight. Getting closer.

Oh heck.

He has his Pidgeot up front, right?

So Zaft should be first?

I don’t anticipate a fun time, here.

A sense of impending doom.

HA! His Pidgeot is first!

...Less ha. It’s level 37.

Zaft perseveres. But Allenby can have the Growlithe that’s out next. The level 38 Growlithe. I don’t think I like this. Allenby lives in the green, but with a bite out of it. Exeggcute is next, so comfort and Heero follow. It’s level 35. And given the state of my team, the Blastoise that’s coming up might be an issue. Do I trust Zaft and STAB enough to spend a turn or two healing?

...Yeah, let’s just be extra sure on that. And of course, now Heero is paralyzed. Sigh.

Blastoise coming out, and Zaft is going to try to at least help for a turn and not die.

Level 40 Blastoise vs level 37 Zaft.

Zaft wins!

...Bloodily!

Po, handle the Alakazam please. It’s level 35. I believe in you.

...

HOLD ON I THOUGHT I DIDN’T GET THIS IN THIS VERSION.

HOLY HECK DO I GET A LAPRAS.

DO I WANT A LAPRAS?

WHAT LEVEL IS IT?

But as for a name... Hm.

Sprinkle.

And now off to the Pokemon Center. Note to future self, to get back where I was you went through a teleport pad on the third floor.

Sprinkle is level 25. She will take Alton’s place in the party, but. Grrrr.

What do I think, is it worth splitting the exp between five to have a Water/Ice pokemon available, or do I want to try boosting the ever-loving heck out of only four? Does it really make a difference at this point? I think this Rival fight was premature, so the levels might be a bit skewed in his favor, and like, I think I can make it work to train a Lapras at minimum cost because I love Lapras...

I’ll finish off Silph Co. and think. Not having a Water option hasn’t been the greatest thing in the world. It would be especially nice against Giovanni and Blaine. But Sprinkle’s only level 25...

Actually, you know what? First I think I’m going to hang out in the Fighting Dojo and give Allenby something to do. She’s the only one I really want taking on that section, so it doesn’t affect any of my decisions. Plus, more exp before the end of Silph.

I’m rooting for this to go well.

Have it go well, Allenby.

Black Belt Hitoshi is first. He has a level 31 Machop. Maybe Po will be able to take a bite out of some stuff here after all. Then again, Po has Koga’s whole Gym. Mankey next. Primeape last for a mirror match.

Black Belt Hideki. Level 32 Machop. Machoke. Revenge packs a punch, but we’re good.

Black Belt Aaron. Mixing up the naming scheme. Has a level 36 Primeape. Er.

Heero’s coming in for this. Just in case. Primeape can do a helluva lot of damage, and Allenby has no resistance except for a few more levels on it.

Black Belt Mike. Okay, so the back two are the partnered odd ones out. Level 31 Mankey. Another Mankey. Primeape.

One fight left before I get to turn down a Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee because I have my option for this city.

Level 37 Hitmonlee first.

Yeah, hey, Heero...

Hitmonchan next, and here’s where the concerns come. Hitmonchan probably has Thunder Punch. I do not want that around Heero. I don’t want anything near Allenby, either, but I think Allenby at least doesn’t have the danger posed by super effective attacks, so Allenby...

Yeah, Thunderpunch. And it paralyzes. Of course. But Allenby gets through it, and then we’re done. Nice.

...Back to Silph.

Allenby, you can stay up front. ...Or can you.

The Sprinkle problem vexes me. I like how maximizing the level of these primary four has worked out, for the most part. I would like having more of a spread, Type wise, but. This really has worked, without any major problems. I think if I want to add something in, it has to be now. But Zaft is already underleveled. Sprinkle would be in the same boat, really only adding the extra benefit of Typing.

I can’t get the Exp. Share. Switch training is the only way.

..

I want a Lapras.

Fuck, this is why this run is just a first attempt.

Okay! Sprinkle going up in front for the remainder of Silph Co.

Grunt #19. Level 32 Cubone. This would be a good match if Sprinkle had Surf. But no one has Surf yet, so in Allenby goes. Drowzee in, and in goes Sprinkle temporarily. I already hate this. And doubt its effectiveness. Marowak.

Last Rocket down.

Sorta.

Level 37 Nidorino out first, and I think Po is the best suited for this.

Level 41 Nidoqueen. Lots of Double Kicks, lots of Snoring, lots of stress, but it works out.

Level 35 Kangaskhan. Allenby time.

Level 37 Rhyhorn. Still Allenby time.

Phew. And that’s that. Also, throughout all of that switch training, Sprinkle gained a grand total of.........

One level. She’s 26 now.

The only reason to do good deeds in this game.

Baaaack to Koga.

The pre-Kogas.

Juggler Kayden has a level 38 Hypno and I am uncomfortable. But Po paralyzes it and brings it to red with on Body Slam so we’re still in business. As well as very, very happy we did Silph Co. first. Seriously, what’s the intended order on these?

Juggler Kirk is next. Bringing us back to safety with a level 31 Drowzee. With great stubbornness, Sprinkle takes it out. Same with the next. The Kadabra can be shared with Zaft because EVs. Drowzee next, and we’re back to Sprinkle. Who made it to 27 all by herself.

Juggler Nate. His opening Drowzee is level 34. Not for Sprinkle. Kadabra. Gah. Heero, I think you’re probably the safest switch partner for this. As much as I love Zaft, Zaft is. Zaft.

Cool story, kid.

Oh, sorry, Tamer Edgar.

He has a level 33 Arbok. And Sandslash. And Arbok. Po and Sprinkle tag-team the lot.

Tamer Phil. You have a level 34 Sandslash. Only Po ate it after Sprinkle confused it. Dream team. Arbok next. Bye Arbok.

Geez, I should really consider putting more effort into jazzing up the battles. The problem is that normally I wouldn’t bother recording them, but with these being the only fights I get, and operating under the theory that I’m going to fail this round, having a thorough record is helpful. And it’ll only be typed out once.

But wow. It’s boring to type, so I can only imagine what it’s like to read.

Juggler Shawn! What have you got for me? A level 34 Drowzee. Then Hypno. That has the sheer gall to confuse Po. And makes her flinch twice in a row. But as all things end, so does this fight.

All that’s left is Koga.

And my prize for all that effort?

Sprinkle is level 29.

I hate switch training with every fiber of my being.

I also have six Rare Candy.

...

No, we’re not doing that. We will behave, and obey the spirit of the nonsense that is this entire run.

Okay.

Sprinkle’s out front at the moment, but I’m guessing sooner or later Po is just going to be the only thing fighting any of his pokemon. Poison is annoying, and Po’s Immunity is a precious gift I shouldn’t squander.

The level 37 Koffing he opens with is also encouraging me to keep putting Sprinkle in harm’s way, though. No. Po, get in here.

Wow. Koga wastes a Hyper Potion on the Koffing. Yay and all, but really?

The level 39 Muk is up next. This thing is not something I should be switching Sprinkle in on, honestly, because it has a host of delay moves that are no fun to deal with whatsoever. ...I sent Sprinkle in anyway. She’s still level 29. And has Perish Song.

lol at Sprinkle’s Confuse Ray missing every single time. Minimize. Minimize is such a horror to work around. Sadly (?), Koga removes Muk before Sprinkle’s song can kill it. Bringing in another level 37 Koffing just as I switched in Po. Since Sprinkles is guaranteed to get exp from Muk if all goes well, I’m not going to bother switching her in on the other stuff.

Another Hyper Potion gone. Yay. Po also hits level 44. Double yay.

The Muk is back and so is Sprinkle. Round two. The most drama in this is finding out how many times Sprinkle’s Confuse Ray misses this time. One. Then I forgot what Mist does so I used that, and now it’s time to bring Po back out.

Just in time for the level 43 Weezing. Yeah, not something I feel a need to switch around on.

...

Yeah, so it uses Smokescreen, but Po is protected by Sprinkle’s Mist. This battle is going so absurdly well through proper utilization of a moveset I would waste zero time on in a normal playthrough.

Huh, Koga uses a Full Heal when Po paralyzes Weezing. I didn’t know he had those. Anyway, bye Weezing.

Round three, Sgt. Sprinkle.

!!!!

Confuse Ray finally hit! It’s a miracle!

Po, switch in and watch Muk die, please.

You did good, Sprinkle. You did real good.

See? Even Koga thinks so.

And now I have the TM for Toxic. Bueno.

That’s badge five, and a good time for a break before we decide which mistake of a venture we try out next.

Until next time, please never underestimate how deeply I hate Koga’s Muk.

[transamorousnetwork]

Transgender Women: Meet Your Amazing Man: Don’t Do This!”

Nothing convinces better than life experience. That’s why I show transgender people and trans-attracted and transamorous men how to create in their lives proof that their stories can fulfill any desire imaginable. Including meeting amazing romantic partners.

But if YOU want to meet your amazing romantic partner, you gotta stop doing what so many other women do.

I have several transgender clients creating living proof that stories create reality. Gradually, their dreams flow into their lives with less and less effort. They’re happy, sure, eager about life and eager about meeting their matches. Like “Nadia” here:

Then there are others…

Occasionally however, I talk with transgender women who are not clients. I share the same stuff I tell my clients. What’s crazy is even though my clients’ lives offer a metric shit-ton of evidence of their dreams becoming real, these transgender women just don’t get it.

But I do.

Not being a Transamorous Network client, it’s hard (but not impossible) to understand your stories about reality create your reality. It’s way easer defending your limiting stories, which in turn limit your life. Like this transgender woman recently did while talking with me on Facebook:

^^A transgender woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs with stories detailing what she doesn't want, instead of what she wants. That's a problem.

I’m not trans, but I have personal experience helping trans and non-trans people create fun, fulfilling lives. Everyone I work with gets lives filled with everything they want.

So when I adamantly say “transgender women can have any future they imagine, and any kind of partner they want,” I mean it. 😌

^^He's looking for you. Are you looking in the right places? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)

Stand in the truth you want to live

Of course, many people know what they want. But most don’t know how to easily get it. Instead they do what others are doing, or what they’ve always done. Like the transgender woman above, when they get results consistent with what others get (results that suck), they get upset, frustrated and rant about what they’re getting. All the while not realizing their frustration exists for a reason.

Any experience a person has is valid. That doesn’t mean it’s the Truth with a capital T, or that their experience is an objective fact. There is no one Truth and there are no objective facts.

For example, many, many transgender women think all men are pieces of shit, want to bottom and fetishize transgender women for their penises.

^^Two transgender women commiserating over their truths. What is the price they pay for living this truth? Easy: no relationships, or relationships that suck.

SOME men may be this way, sure. And for transgender women who tell such stories, that’s pretty much the only men they meet. So of course, it’s TRUE that SOME men are this way.

But does standing in stories complaining about and commiserating over such men give you what you want? It clearly doesn’t, right?

Is standing in that truth really worth not getting what you want…especially when a better truth exists were you CAN get what you want?

I don’t think so.

Most people don’t know how to easily get what they want

Instead of looking forward to what one wants and talking about that, most people, transgender, trans-attracted or even plain ol’ cis, will complain about what they’re getting. They’ll complain to whoever will listen, and plenty of people exist who will not only listen, but add their own complaints in the mix.

That’s a definite no-no for both parties because in doing that, neither party helps the other get what they want.

^^One trans woman seeks confirmation of her story...

^^And another gives it, thereby reinforcing the unwanted story for herself and her friend. If you want that amazing guy STOP DOING THIS.

It’s fun when a person understands life always shows one what stories are creating what realities. Only people who understand this though can do something about it thereby fulfilling their desires.

But since most people don’t understand this, they don’t know what to do that’s different. They keep doing the same thing over and over, or do things others are doing, thinking just because others are doing it, it will work for them. 🙄

Life is on everyone’s side

What I know is, life is 100 percent faithful to everyone. It is ALWAYS on every person’s side, showing them the sum total of what stories they’re telling. Life gives them plenty of early warning too, so a person understanding this can change a reality well before it becomes…well…reality.

Life is helping the transgender women in these examples above. But they don’t understand how. So they keep doing what they’re doing and getting what they give the most air-time to: opportunity to complain about men who treat them consistent with their stories.

If you, dear reader, want a different (better) love life, or anything else in your life, you must try a better way.

Impatience is not your friend…well…it is, kinda

People (and transpeople particularly) have a distorted perspective relative to results and time. Before any significant time passes they’re impatient and wondering why they’re not getting what they want.

The transgender woman above complains about what she’s getting or rather what she’s not getting, even though she’s only been dating for 12 months. But twelve months is a blink of an eye in universal terms! And yet, people think that’s a long time, then lose their shit when what they want hasn’t come by then.

That’s lunacy!

^^Looks are nice, but you're wanting more than that, I promise. But none of what you want will come easily if you're impatient. (Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash)

Life will give anyone what they want, but when a person gets impatient about it, it can’t happen. Why? Because feeling “impatient” tells you you’re giving more air-time to your complaint than your desire. And wherever you put your attention, you get more of that. In this case, putting your attention on having no relationship gives you exactly that: no relationship!

You don’t need options

Men and women think having a selection is a good thing. That’s why so many people are on dating sites. But the Universe will give you exactly what you want without you having to search or select.

You don’t need a “pool” of men. Thinking you need a selection means you don’t believe the Universe and life is on your side. You’re trying to do what life will do for you. And it will do it far easier than if you do it.

That’s why it’s so hard finding a partner, trans girl. Stop trying to do the Universe’s job.

You only need one man (if that’s what you want): that one amazing guy. But if you think you need to find him, or select him from a pool, you’re barking up the wrong tree (to mix metaphors LOL).

This bears repeating: The more you complain about the men you don’t want, the more you’re going to connect with that kind of man. Wanting that amazing man in your life means focusing on him. Not on the men you’re meeting who aren’t that.

It’s no wonder so many trans women have similar dating experiences. Most do the same things, get the same results then complain to each other about what they get.

Don’t be those women. Instead, tell stories about the man you want. Revel in the wonderful things going on in your life. Stay away from transgender women who complain. Then watch how life easily gives you what you want.

This may be hard to hear: It’s not the men that are the problem. It’s how you’re going about getting what you want. Change that up and see what happens.

[janiedean]

I never thought I'd be this person but I legit said"what hetero nonsense is this" when Rose said love and kissed Finn lol

okay anon this is not against you and I know you didn’t mean this seriously and I know this reply might be overreacting, and you probably didn’t see that I previously posted about hating how this fandom (especially *my* subfandom technically) is reacting to finnrose so you probably didn’t know, but: no.

specifically:

it wasn’t random nor nonsense. she had a fangirl crush on him, she got to know him better and she liked him and she thought she was about to bloody die. if I was in her place I also would kiss the guy I like if anything to know I’ve done it.

on the other side, he needed to talk to someone he didn’t know already and to show him a different side of things and who made him realize that the resistance was more than single people he might have cared for or not going against the big bad evil, which was what made him finally stop running. he didn’t kiss her back but it’s nice that he gets it from someone who likes him genuinely, especially coming after a life of dehumanization.

so it wasn’t nonsense, it was a plot decision you can like or not but saying it was out of left field or made no sense or was nonsensical is not a thing I can agree with because imo it was very well-developed and like in a life or death situation I would probably try to kiss the guy I liked, and rose liking finn was already introduced from the moment she showed up and then she just got to like him as the person he was rather than the supposed *legend* or whatever, which... is... nice. it’s normal. it happens. why the hell should it be nonsensical?

ah, because it was heteronormative and apparently if het ships happen it’s bad because they’re heterosexual, which is like, typical tumblr drivel and sorry but nah.

(now, before I go into it: if it had been rey kissing finn, would people be crying about heteronormative nonsense? idk. just a thought. and guess what, for me finn/rey is like, the most platonic shit in existence and I can’t see the two of them kissing romantically and it making any sense so we all see it differently, but if it had happened I’d have shrugged and moved on with my life. anyway.)

listen, guys, let’s be freaking real, as much as tumblr likes to think the contrary, straight/heterosexual people make up 90% of the demographic. heteronormativity is normativity because nine people on ten are straight. the problem is when heteronormativity is seen as the only default. the point is that if you want to counteract that you have to push to normalize relationships that are not heteronormative and make sure they’re seen as a valid alternative to the norm, but you can’t honestly go and say that heteronormativity is in itself statistically wrong because it’s not, nor that it’s in itself inherently wrong because then you pass the message that if you’re straight you’re *wrong* and honestly from a website where the message that people think they’re passing is that *you aren’t -wrong- for your sexuality I’m really tired to see that it’s valid for everything except straight people. because it’s really fun to go online and wade through posts on posts of people joking about how if you’re straight you’re Bad, you have no tastes, you’re not a good lay if you’re a man and should date women anyway if you’re a woman and everything bad in the world is the fault of you horrible straight person and ah, wait, being straight is also boring and who would choose to be straight -

except that you don’t choose your sexuality. no, I didn’t choose mine either. (yes, I’m straight if it wasn’t clear, and I’m getting progressively pissed off at this attitude. actually I’ve gone past the point of pissed off, but never mind that.

so like, now apparently if a heterosexual ship happens it’s all because they wanted to cater to the straight crowd and it’s all nonsense just because it’s a man and a woman locking lips!

and like, fuck, no. this idea that finnrose is inherently nonsense because it’s *heteronormative* and they pushed finn on a WOMAN THAT’S NOT REY is.... sorry, I know you didn’t mean it like that and I don’t wanna sound like an asshole, but if you say that rey would have been cool and rose isn’t then WHY, I mean isn’t rose okay enough? good enough? I mean I’ve read some stuff on *my ship’s* tag which was reeking racism because rose was apparently a downgrade and rey was the only option they could accept *if finn had to be with a woman* and honestly, no?? that’s... like... no??? I find it really rich coming from people who ship... a pairing.... made of nonwhite people.... at least for US standards (yeah I ship finn/poe mainly and this movie has made me block half of the tag for the finnrose vitriol IMAGINE HOW NICE). and IT ONLY HAPPENED SO THEY COULD CANCEL THE GAY COUPLE is like... a) it wasn’t gonna happen in the MIDDLE movie anyway esp. a franchise that gets distributed in countries where the gay couple would mean a ban/the movie not getting released (like, we do remember the beauty and the beat wank over damned lefou for what, ten seconds of him dancing with a dude??), b) means that finn’s sl would have had any worth just if he and poe made out (and same for poe) which basically means reducing their storylines to them making out? like, that’s... really.... sad? they only have worth as characters if they make out? sorry, I can’t really rally behind that. I care about them as characters and I loved their sl this movie and if they don’t kiss WHATEVER, 99% of the m/m couples I shipped in my life stayed not canon and it never changed my life, even if they were in relationships with women. that’s why fanfic exists. maybe next movie we’re getting it (because anyway rose kissed finn, he didn’t kiss back or anything so it can go there or it can’t and whichever way it goes I’m okay with it) maybe we’re not, but saying that their existence is useless if they don’t kiss or bang or aren’t *gay* just reeks of tokenism to me and the fact that finnrose is being described as heteronormative bullshit made to appease the r/eylo people or to deny people finn/poe is really not a thing I can rally behind either.

like, again, there’s nothing NONSENSE behind it and the fact that you attached heteronormative to it again means that the problem with it is that it’s an heterosexual ship and given that it had all reasons for existing and that, again, I’m really fucking tired of every straight relationship in new media getting thrown at the wolves just because it’s straight and being straight on tumblr is Very Bad TM so... sorry. it’s not. and like, if according to you it was just *nonsense* fine, you didn’t like it, legit, but heteronormative nonsense? really? can we just.... not... frame it as if anything heteronormative or heterosexual or straight is The Worst especially since on top of that finnrose is actually pretty progressive as a thing? I mean, when was the last time you saw a main black lead in an immensely popular scifi franchise that everyone and their kids watch in a relationship with an asian woman? never. like, it’s progressive, too, not the same way finn/poe is but progressive nonetheless, so... like... can’t we just let this goddamned ship live and be the cute thing it was without splitting hairs?

because sorry but again the fact that the main objections I’ve seen were a) IT’S STRAIGHT AND NOT GAY, b) he’s kissing rose and not rey IF WE HAD TO HAVE A STRAIGHT SHIP, c) IT’S PROREYLO AND ANTISTORMPILOT which.... uuughhh. like, can’t y’all take things the way they are? (nvm that I could rant for three hours about how r*ylo was like, written to happen and the fact that people don’t want to recognize that a villain has a personality is another entire problem but never mind.) it’s a cute ship. it happens to be straight. it’s also fairly progressive in itself. it was put on a good (imo) storyline which made sense and everything poor rose did was kissing the dude she liked after saving his life and thinking she was about to die. lay off her, pls?

last thing: since - we all guessed it by now - I happen to be straight can... y’all... please... not send me asks about how shitty heteronormative ships are and the likes? I mean, I know it’s a problem in a lot of cases and I’m more than willing to call it out if it’s obviously done maliciously but this wasn’t the case and I’m honestly tired of this STRAIGHTS ARE TERRIBLE drivel and HETERONORMATIVITY IS INHERENTLY BAD drivel and so on. especially when it’s about a thing I don’t actively ship but liked (finnrose) and then I have to go into my ship’s tag (f/p) and see it trashed to hell and back and read posts over posts about how they fucked up f/p for THE STRAIGHTS when I’d be the first person to offer the entire cinema a beer if it actually was canon. like, I’d be overjoyed if it was. but not at the cost of being assholes to other people who ship other things or at the cost of trashing on this movie for things that don’t exist or deny both of those two’s character arcs because at the end of it THEY AREN’T GAY. (as if they couldn’t be bi or pan, but of course anything that implies that someone could be in a rship with someone of the different sex is okay just as long as the relationship isn’t with someone of a different sex. like. please guys. no.)

last thing: don’t take this rant personally anon I’m sure you meant well, but you just touched on a thing that is really irking me lately and my hand slipped. I’m really meaning no ill will I’m just really tired of this HORRIBLE HETERONORMATIVE complaints thrown around like candy because of course everyone has feelings and shouldn’t be insulted except straight people because they are the majority so they can go die in a fire as far as tumblr cares. peace.

[toauw]

LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS AT HOME, YOU’LL COME BACK WITH MORE

If you honestly ask me why I specifically went to Los Angeles, CA for my 24th birthday, I’ll give you the straight answer. It was the farthest place in the continental United States that I had any interest in visiting. A friend that worked for an airline told me they had access to discounted flights anywhere in the “lower 48”. With that discount, plus the fact that I had a friend who was willing to accommodate me for a few days, it became the cheapest option for a quick getaway. I didn't decide to go there for a concert, I had no special objectives, it wasn't a business trip, No. It was just far, and cheap.

I booked the flight about two months in advance, and waited patiently for my departure. I was slated to go away from October 4th to the 9th, so I could come back home and get situated for my birthday on Oct 12th. There was nothing spectacular about the dates I chose, I just wanted the end of the week, and the weekend. When it was finally time to leave, I found myself in a financial crunch due to a car accident I was in about three weeks before. My pockets were less healthy than I expected them to be, and when I came back I had a huge financial expense waiting for me. Something to the tune of $1,500. It wasn't looking good for me, but I already made the purchase, and I knew I would regret staying home instead of trying to make the best of what I had.

As I left my house on the morning of the 4th, I thought about the upcoming week and what kind of shenanigans I would get into. After all, did I mention I was pretty much going alone? I had one real friend in LA, and I hadn't seen her in years. In fact, I never spent time with her in real life before she left to hit the west coast. I was technically going to stay with a stranger I barely knew from highschool, that I only corresponded with online. In addition to that she had work on some of the days that I’d be there, and wouldn't be able to spend much time with me either way. I’d be by myself most of the time, and I didn't know how I’d feel about that. We arrived at the airport and I got out of the car, thanking my dad for the ride. I hadn't gone away in a while, and usually when I did, it was with another family member. I had no fear of traveling alone, but it was different. I walked into the airport, and got on the check-in line despite having checked in digitally on my phone. Amatuer move. After that line snaked to the front and I got my boarding passes, I headed over to TSA where there was a line developing, snaking around the corner. I got to the corner, realized that the line was way longer than expected…

...and promptly skipped everyone.

I felt terrible, but the devastation of waiting behind an extra 35 people broke my heart. Someone tried to tell me the line formed back “there” and pointed to the sad waiting souls, but I acted like I didn't hear them and moved on forward. Horrible, I know. I’m typically all about fairness and doing the right thing, but for some reason I didn't care. Feeling the hateful stares of all those fellow travellers on the back of my neck, I followed the course of the line and went through TSA. Delighted that nobody snitched, but still ashamed, I waited until I boarded the plane.

The flights there were uneventful, but easy. I listened to music and continued writing my second novel. 8 hours after taking off, I arrived in LAX at 12PM.

I contacted my friend, who I’ll refer to as Mya, and made my way towards her. She was rather far from where I exited, and I had to do a bit of walking on airport grounds. Off rip, when I exited the terminal, I was immediately alarmed by how much the real thing resembled San Andreas and GTA 5! Although real Los Angeles obviously came first, I was familiar with it entirely from playing Grand Theft Auto as a preteen and young adult. When I finally got to her, we hugged each other for the first time ever, and made a joke about how long it took me to get out. The ride home was even more surreal as I started seeing familiar landmarks and the iconic, beachy palm-tree-lined streets of LA. It was rather nerdy of me, but I felt like I knew where I was, as if it wasn't my first time being there!I had ran those streets for years, and it all matched up in my head. We talked about what kind of things I should do while I was there, and came to the conclusion that she would only be able to spend one or two days hanging out with me. Between work and prior obligations, she would be too busy to show me around. I’d be rolling solo. On the way home we had California’s famous In-N-Out, and that was elite for the price.

Her home, while nice, wasn't in the most accessible place, and it’d be a 40 minute drive to get anywhere particularly interesting. The first day consisted of me catching up on sleep, hanging out at the house, and looking for people to connect with while I was out there. I met her roommate, and we all got pretty well acquainted. We made a store run and prepped for the rest of the week.

I mentioned looking for people to connect with, something that’d be important if I was going to enjoy myself in the slightest. I didn't want to be a plain old tourist for 4 days, that’d be boring as hell. I prepped before I headed out there, and asked my facebook friends if they had any connects for me, and a few of them came through. I had about 2 solid people to meet up with, and I was scoping for more. I immediately remembered that a good friend of mine had recently visited LA and seemed to have a great time. I contacted him, then hit instagram and looked through my feed for any familiar faces that lived in LA. Being that he was a photographer, he would have tagged his models, so I checked his page and lo and behold, there were about 6 people I could reach out to. Yea, it was a little weird, because I was a stranger asking to hang out, only using a small connection through my friend to validate my personality as a whole. They could all potentially look at the messages, and leave me on seen. If that happened, I’d end up a tourist doing tourist crap for the whole weekend, alone at that. Luckily three of them responded, and we talked about meeting up later that week. With three new numbers from instagram, and two friends from facebook to meet, I felt comfortable about not being by myself. Communicating One of the girls and I made plans to meet the next day, and I let Mya know what I had planned to do.

I spent a part of our 45 min trip to West Hollywood talking to Mya about how she should be a more aggressive driver. I kept getting tired of people boxing her out of traffic when she needed to change lanes, and her getting the short end of the stick. She was a competent driver, just not as assertive as her real life personality was. Something I noticed about Los Angeles driving culture that I thought was funny, was how much they respect pedestrians, and generally don't take gaps in traffic to get where they’re going. Funny enough it seemed like everyone picked a lane, and stayed in it. Aside from the obvious speeders, everyone was pretty much cruising. The driving style of those around me felt timid and nervous in comparison to the wild streets of Manhattan.

When we arrived, she parked in a fancy parking lot overlooking a large part of the city. I was impressed by how spread out everything was. It was my first real taste of how large the city really was, something I’d come to learn in the next few days. I walked her to work and parted ways without going in. Standing on Sunset Boulevard, somewhere I was familiar with in theory, I started walking. Amazed at how much it all really looked like GTA again, I quickly decided to search for something to do. Like an idiot I wore jeans, not respecting the LA weather forecast. I was overheating already, and I hadn't been outside for 20 minutes. I walked to some shade, and decided to find somewhere interesting to go. Hollywood Boulevard with all the stars on the floor was 10 minutes away, and I figured that was as good a place as any to start my journey. I called the first of many Ubers, and coordinated my pickup. Within 15 minutes, I was wandering along Hollywood boulevard. This was the first place being by myself really hit me. I saw the street performers acting like famous Hollywood characters. As I walked past Maverick from Top Gun, and Captain Jack Sparrow, I noticed something. Typically, when you’re out with squad you tap your friends and point to that funny thing you see across the street, or maybe you mention a fancy car you think they’d be interested in. There was none of that. Whatever it was that I observed, unless it was worth me stopping to take a picture, only stuck with me. The first thing I noticed about that, is that things weren’t innately funny, but rather interesting. When there’s no one to bounce jokes off of, you tend not to laugh as much. One I realized that, whenever something did make me audibly laugh, I appreciated it that much more. Walking along the boulevard, I stopped to get some cheap alcohol, and put it in a slushie I bought.

I figured it might make everything more enjoyable, and open up my personality. I finished that rather quickly, as I tend to do with all alcohol, and continued about my business. One of the girls that I was in contact with finally got back to me, and we coordinated to hang out. She was at her friend’s house, in Koreatown. I headed over in a lyft line, and waited for her to get back to me. After waiting 10 minutes for her to check her instagram, she finally got back to me and told me the room number to get in. When I made my way upstairs, I entered a typical college roommate scene. In the midst of a studio scattered with clothes, and shoes, were two pretty young women, one with colorful hair and the other with longer straight blonde tresses. They were both very nice, and apologized for the room being in disarray. I reassured them that my room was probably worse, if not just as bad. We’re all young creatives, nothing to be ashamed about. We naturally went into conversation about the differences between LA and NY, and what we thought about both. I hadn’t had much time to really experience the city, but from what I saw it was definitely a major change of pace. Looking at LA’s huge open spaces, visibly rich and wealthy lifestyle, and beachy” always-summer” vibe, as compared to New York’s harsh, condensed, edgy toughness, it was easy to point out the differences. As the conversation continued, I started to see the similarities in us, despite the 2,500 miles that separated our homes. Young black creatives, trying to make their names in cities that didn't yet care about them. Around this time, two more house guests came in, and I introduced myself to them as well. As they got settled in and continued conversation with us, I noticed the level of friendship this group shared. Despite being from different backgrounds and neighborhoods, they seemed like a small family. It was fun to watch the dynamics between them as an outsider, just taking it all in. From jokes about flat butts, to one pointing out how pretty the other was, it was all positive. I may have been tired, and not the most active participant in their conversation, but I genuinely enjoyed my time with them. The group decided listening to music on a phone wasn't enough, and chose to get a bluetooth speaker from a nearby store. We all got up together, and walked a few blocks to the spot where they bought a $25 bluetooth speaker. When we got back, they turned it up and the fun really began. They started drinking, and playing music I’ve never heard before, most likely from underground west coast rappers. Another friend I had been told to contact on instagram came in the room, and we introduced ourselves. One of his first statements when he came in the room was about the new bluetooth speaker, and how “that shit don't slap”. I was weak. It was somewhat refreshing to hear how they supported their local artists, something I think NY struggles with, but that's another topic for another day. As the night continued and the drinks they shared with me started kicking in, and I was getting tired. Somehow I dozed off like the old man I am, and I woke up to see everyone getting settled in. At that moment it dawned on me. Not only were they great friends that hung out together, more than the original two of them lived together. I recognized a familiar situation that I didn't see reflected in their happiness. They weren’t living the LA dream by any means, but they were happy, and they were making it work with that they had at the time. Everyone in that room was a positive, fun, creative soul, working together to keep it together. Based on the brotherhood, sisterhood, scrappiness and happiness I saw in that room, I know all of them will be out of there and on their own feet in no time. I woke up to a phone call from my friend, who said she was outside waiting for me to go home. I said my goodbyes, and told them I’d see them again.

I fell asleep on the drive home, and woke up at the complex, ready start preparing for my next day.

The next morning we decided to get breakfast at a local spot called Beep’s, which I’m only mentioning to say that it was one of the best breakfast deals I’ve ever encountered. Pancakes, French Toast, Sausages, bacon, regular toast, AND Home fries for $8.99. Amazing.

As we ate, Mya told me about her plans to go hiking, something I’d never done before. There was a popular trail that everyone visited, but we decided to go to a farther more peaceful one that apparently ended with a waterfall. We went to pick up her ex boyfriend from the train station downtown, which took long enough, then headed towards the canyon. I knew her ex from the internet, but never met him before then. As we drove up north, we all got acquainted, and familiar. Hiking was rather strenuous, but nothing insane. Along the 3 mile walk through the valleys of Altadena, CA, I recognized how peaceful the effects of nature were, if you weren't scared of the little rustling of small animals in nearby bushes. Once you got over the irrational fear of being attacked by mountain lions and poisonous snakes, you could really settle in, take a deep breath, and appreciate how untouched it all was. Another thing I recognized while I was out there, was how little I was. While I spend hours and hours in Manhattan among buildings hundreds of stories high, it never occurred to me how little I was in the grand scheme of things. There's nothing specifically human sized in the wilderness. It was all very humbling. If I got lost out there, or tripped over a cliff, I was done for. It wasn't made for me, I was merely a visitor. A speck on this vast planet, trying to enjoy it and experience it while I had the time and energy.   

I won't say I particularly had fun hiking, but I appreciated it. The views, the discoveries, The challenge, the open space, and the fresh air. It’s something I think everyone should try at least once.

When we got back home, we decided to go out and find a party. Mya and her ex decided on a party, and we got dressed up to go. It was a pajama party but you could show up in anything. I would’ve wore pajamas if I could, but I didn't have any, and I realized that it would limit me if I wanted to go elsewhere. When we got there, I immediately knew I wasn't going to enjoy myself. Everyone there was at least 30, and while I’m not opposed to partying with older people, it wasn't the scene I envisioned. I really just wanted to be around people my age, and do 24 year old stuff. No soul train lines, no line dancing, no cupid shuffle. I’m refused to resign to old age that easily. I will admit I had a noticeable attitude, because I paid $15 to get in anyway, but within 20 minutes of being there, I couldn't take it anymore. I started looking for other parties, and found something free not too far away. I told them I was leaving, and bounced on my own. Another lesson. At the point where I was too annoyed to stay there anymore, I recognized a lesson that I would keep coming across on my adventure. It's one lesson but there are two points.

If you don't like something, only you can change it.

You are in charge of your own happiness.

These two lessons in conjunction helped me form the rest of my experiences while away. One without the other doesn't equate to much, they have to be used together.

When I arrived at the next spot, I went in, only to find a completely different club experience than I had found on the flyer. They were playing a mix of electronic dance music, and pop in a rather small venue. The party I had anticipated was advertising Hip Hop, Dancehall, and other associated genres. I was confused and a little annoyed. I just spend $14 on top of the $15 I spent at the other one, to find out I was at the wrong place. I didn't understand how, because the address was right, and the date was correct. I sat down, and contemplated what I’d do. I went outside, because I didn't know what else to do, and asked someone if anything else was going on tonight. Nobody in the immediate vicinity knew of anything, so I decided to go back inside. While opening the door to go in, about 3 beautiful women I hadn't seen inside the first time came out. They didn't go in behind me, and I didn't see them before. There had to be more to the party somewhere. I went in determined to find what I came for, and found a somewhat hidden hallway in the back of the venue. When I rounded the corner, there it was. Glorious black people, 15 feet down through the hallway, I heard a classic Jay-Z hit, and felt right at home.

I got comfortable and bought a drink which I promptly finished. I think the bartender noticed how fast I finished it, because within two minutes she put up another and said it was on the house! I gave her the last $3 I had in my pocket and thanked her. I walked away smiling and finished that one quickly too. With two drinks in my system, I got into the groove of the party, and started enjoying myself a bit more. Looking around, I saw a lady I was interested in, and gathered the courage to make my move. I can't even say I remember what I said to her, but I quickly found out they weren't the magic words. As soon as the immediate conversation died, her friend came and took her away. I was so happy with myself for even doing that, that it didn't matter what the outcome was. I was cool with the calm L. Getting back to enjoying the party and my environment, I saw that it was slowly dying out, and decided to see how Mya and Ex were doing. They had asked me how my party was, and I explained that it was dying, but I’d look for something else to do. I went outside and asked if anyone knew of any after-parties, because it seemed like all the lowkey spots closed at 2. I approached a mixed group with a black and hispanic girl, and asked if they knew about any house parties that still might be going on. Luckily, one of the girls knew of something, and told me an address, and someone to contact at the house when I got there.

I told Mya to link me and head there, and she did.

When we got there, I was supposed to find Angel, a tall Mexican guy with blonde hair. I figured shouldn't be hard to find, so I walked up and paid my dues. They gave me two drink tickets with my entry, so I was pleased with that. Mya and Ex chose to sit outside in the car until I figured out if it was worth staying, so I was alone again. Once I walked in, there were a couple college girls in weird clothes dancing, and a guy making drinks. Nothing too hot. I immediately went to the guy with the drinks and cashed in my ticket. I was going to get what I paid for, whether I needed it or not. I went to the backyard and saw a warm weather house party type scene. A fire pit, a couple benches, and a canopy with people sitting under it.

I found a seat, and listened to what was going on. One guy with long hair was recounting conspiracy theories, and a girl was braiding his hair as he spoke. It was all very funny to see similar scenes from my NY summer nightlife played out in a completely different setting. Before long I remembered that Mya and her Ex were outside, still waiting on me!

I got up, cashed in my second drink ticket, and left the spot with two cups. I was poured up well, and experienced an LA house party, a check off my list. Mya drove us home, and I caught some alcohol induced Z’s.

Another day down, ready for the next.

One of my new friends invited me to a music festival the day before, and said he would meet me there at 3. I took the ride to the city with Mya around 2. I did the same this as the day before and wandered for a while, taking pictures of things I found cool, before checking the time and heading towards the festival.

I got to the festival, and showed them my confirmation. I entered into a walled complex with graffiti all over, art everywhere, and vendors with tables wherever they could fit. There was a food stand in the back, and carnival style games on the sides. It was truly an amazing environment with the opportunity for fun everywhere.

It was 3, and my connect was nowhere to be found. I figured I would walk around and try to look at the vendors while I waited for him and the squad to arrive. While perusing through their wares, I found this asian guy with a dope clothing line, and decided to buy a shirt. We decided on $15, and I got my only souvenir for the entire trip. After walking around for another 20 minutes, I naturally got bored, and turned to my phone, something I was trying to avoid. Still no word from my friends, and it was 4. I tried to enjoy the acts for a bit, but I wasn't really feeling it that much, so I went to find somewhere to charge my phone. I hadn't plugged it in for most of the day and it was dying.

I found a room with strobe lights near the back of the complex, and sat down next to a power strip. There were 3 or 4 girls sitting around it, and I introduced myself to them, because I was in very close vicinity. There was no way not to say something. They all lived in LA, and one of them was working with an artist there I had never heard of. Sooner or later they left, and I was alone again. It dawned on me that I wasn't actually supposed to be back there, but no one had stopped me. There was a lapse in security, and I was backstage in the green room! Not recognizing anyone on the flyer for the event, I wasn't super hype to be there, but it was kind of cool knowing I wasn't supposed to be there. A few minutes after I realized, a guy in all black started laying out a big banner, and putting brackets up to hang it from. He wasn't struggling, but he was moving a bit slowly, and could use some help. I asked if he wanted assistance, and he happily agreed. I got down and started helping him with zip ties, and best figuring out how to hang the banner most appropriately. A small frantic lady came through, and checked out our work.

She looked at him, then looked at me, and asked me who I was. I told her I was just sitting down and decided to help out, and her face lit up. She shook my hand, and said, “idk who you are but I’m going to take care of you. I’m busy but give me some time. She left with her little entourage, shouting instructions to people, and answering questions. Me and the real worker took about 10 - 15 minutes to do it, and stood it up. It was lopsided, and not centered. Off to the side by around 5 feet, we had to do it again. After taking another 20 minutes cutting it down and doing it again, she came back and told me I would get a backstage pass with VIP access to everything and the option to take as many dabs as I wanted.

I got the VIP pass but didn't put it on my neck. I didn't want any unnecessary questions I couldn't answer coming my way, although looking back at it, that could have helped me socialize.

It was 5 and my friend still wasn't there. Around this time, my lesson from earlier had shown up again. I was there, not really enjoying myself, and only I could change my situation. I didn't even know if they were coming, but I couldn't rely on them to make it fun for myself. I decided to get more proactive, and start speaking to whoever I felt was interesting. Without the help of alcohol, I really had get out of my head, and make the moves on my own. It wasn't easy, and I quickly came to the conclusion that whoever said “Alcohol is liquid courage” wasn't lying. I felt like I could use it, but I was happy with the challenge of having to socialize without it. After speaking to people here and there, I found out I was way more comfortable communicating with strangers than I had ever thought I’d be. At first it was very hard to get over the initial hump of saying Hi, but I got used to it.

As time dragged on, I enjoyed some performances, bounced in and out of the backstage area, and awaited word from my friend. They finally showed up at 8, 5 hours later than I was expecting them. By then I was already over the atmosphere, and I was only there because there still performances left, and they just showed up.

We met up and I chastised them for being so damned late. They stranded me for 5 hours without any friends, which was initially a curse but turned into a little blessing. I discovered that I could spend a significant time alone, something I never really did, and make something of it. I had met a few artists in the most natural way possible, and talked to all the girls I thought were interesting enough to warrant the effort. They showed me, someone who’s always around people I know, that I could spend time by myself, and meet new people without it being a huge ordeal. Before that day, I never really spoke to random people in public without a reason. This time, I noticed that the reason doesn't have to be solid, but literally because I wanted to. Typically I have friends everywhere I go in NY, and not having that put me in somewhat of a compromising position. It pushed me out my comfort zone, and trust me. I’ve been VERY comfortable. What I learned is that the hardest part is starting. Once you get over the initial hump of saying hi, you’re in and you can let whatever social skills you have take over. Talking to people you're interested in dating is more complicated, but once again, that's another topic.

With my friends finally there and the main performers up, I started having fun and enjoying the music. It was really nice, there was a tribute for a local rapper, slain in unnecessary violence, and you could definitely feel the solidarity and respect for him in the room. I didn't live there, but I felt the sense of community.

They decided to leave after a while, but they had nowhere to go and I wanted to charge my phone. I went back to the green room and found a working outlet, next to some more cool people. The more I spoke to people around me, the more I realized that it was only as weird as you made it. With adequate charge, I left and met up with a friend from facebook that told me he was Dj’ing at a downtown bar, playing 00’s R&B and Hip Hop. I hopped in another uber there, and went downstairs in a notably empty upscale place. I greeted my internet friend, and spoke to him for a few minutes before my friend from the last party told me he was coming to meet me.

In the meantime, I continued talking to my DJ friend, and the friends he brought out. Around the time my friend showed up, I started speaking to some lady at the bar, who was clearly older, but had a nice shape. Apparently it was her birthday, and she was out trying to enjoy it. I mentioned that my birthday was next week, and it was all good. We were vibing, talking about something funny, when she asked me how old I was turning. I immediately knew I had to lie and throw my age up a notch, just in case she wasn't down for such a big difference. She was turning 32, and 8 years is a big gap. I knew I couldn't sell that I was 27 regardless of the beard, so I told her 26. Before I could finish saying that and whatever my next joke, she said “It was nice to meet you, goodnight” and walked away. I wasn't funny anymore. No Milf action for me. Luckily my friend was right there and we could laugh about it. We chose to head to another club nearby that he knew was lit, all the time, every Saturday. The club, called the Reserve was probably the nicest nightclub I’d ever been in. I’m not a big spender when it comes to nightlife, so I avoid all the high roller spots in NY. Looking at the people on line, I thought it was going to be crazy expensive,  but apparently this spot was only $10. A huge difference compared to the night before where I spent $15 to party with old geezers. I was impressed. Inside, there was a “Vault” that housed the entire party, with gold bricks under glass in the floor, and decor to match the theme all over. It was live in there.

A large variety of beautiful women, people dancing, drinks flowing, and the music was right. My friends were also impressed, but before long I could tell that it wasn't really their scene. They, much like myself, were more the house party and get-together kind of guys. Loud music with no interpersonal interaction wasn't their thing. It also didn't help that one had a girlfriend. I bought one drink, then found out there was a two drink card limit. I was there to stay. I downed my drink in like 3 minutes, and got into the swing of things. I got my second drink, and loosened up some more. For a while they tried to keep up, but me having two drinks to their none, plus the fact they didn't even really care to be there, added up to me being the only one trying to enjoy myself. They decided to leave, and once again, I was alone. Looking at the time, it had just hit 1:15, and the club closed at 2. The two lessons came right back into my face, and hit me. I was in charge of my own fun, and if I didn't do anything, I wasn't going to have any. I needed to get a move on quick. I scoped the joint for interesting groups, and saw two ladies sitting down next to each other, and casually introduced myself. Long story short, I ended up at dinner with four 30 year olds from South Carolina, where the cheapest entree on the menu was about $30. I sure as hell didn't want to spend that much on dinner, but I did owe myself a fancy meal, so I sprung for the cheapest thing I’d eat. After a long conversation over food in which I was reminded that my expletive peppered vernacular was not the norm, we parted ways, exchanged some information and headed home. It wasn't my idea of the most fun I could have, but it was an experience nonetheless. On my long trip home in the Uber, I realized that as much as I was attracted to two of the ladies at the table, I wasn't upset that it didn't turn into anything I’d run home to tell my boys. I was just pleased with the possibilities that arose once I stopped over-thinking about what I was doing, and started doing. Some of the greatest things you’ll ever experience, are hiding behind that moment of hesitation that leads to inaction.

Now that I’ve recognized this, I’m much more willing to take immediate action when I see what I want. Whether that's talking to women in a club, speaking to someone important about an opportunity, or even just making decisions that I’d normally spend way too long on, I see that merely thinking about doing something does not get you anything. This doesn't mean I’m insanely impulsive, but I’m less inhibited by the fear of not getting the results I want. The last thing I wanted from my trip to Los Angeles was to come home wishing I did more.

Another day down, I prepared for my last full day in Los Angeles.

When I got up Mya was getting ready to leave for work, way earlier than I knew I’d ever be ready. I was on my own. I hung around the house for a while, deliberating whether I should go to the observatory, or head out to the Santa Monica Pier. I met a lady in an Uber the day before and asked if she wanted to come to the beach with me, but she claimed she didn't feel good, and wasn't going to be able to make it. It was fine by me, at first I felt weird about doing everything by myself, but I realized I had been alone for most of my journey. I decided to go to the beach because it was cheaper to get to, and there would definitely be much more to do. I got dressed and called my cab to take on a day at the beach. When I got there, I immediately hopped out and made my way straight to the pier. Another thing I noticed about moving on your own, is that there are no delays in action. No drawn out decisions trying to figure out if you want to go right or left, eat at a place or not, it's whatever you decide, and it all happens at your own pace. I walked through a group of relatively young black men, who were still older than myself, and they tried to press me. I ignored them, kept it pushing, and shook my head at the fact that it happened. Disappointed that some things never seem to change wherever you are, I moved forward towards the beach. As I walked through the pier, the countless meetups and shootouts I had engaged in at that very location flashed back to my memory, all courtesy of the Grand Theft Auto series. In reality, it was a beautiful place that deserved none of that extreme violence, and I couldn't be more pleased that I was there taking it all in. I couldn't see an angry soul, and there was a general happiness to be out in the sun by the ocean. I soaked it all in, and continued walking. I went far enough onto the pier to get a quality picture, and headed back to see what else there was to do.

I heard Venice beach was not too far away, and considered heading over there to see what it was like. It was a mile or two down the coast, and I didn't feel like walking there. I checked out the first bike rental company, and they said they closed at 5:30. It was already 5. He suggested another spot a small distance away, and I set off determined to ride down the beach. I rented a bike and headed towards Venice Beach. Considering I hadn't ridden a bike in over 2 years, I was shaky to begin, but quickly locked in my balance. Cruising down the beach on the bike path was amazing. Barely avoiding a couple accidents on the relatively narrow path, I finally made it to Venice beach. You could clearly see the difference in atmosphere, from Santa Monica, to Venice Beach. Venice was way more local, and where you saw classy tourist traps on and near the Santa Monica Pier, you saw colorful homes and quiet alleyways dedicated to parking. There was a community out there, and it showed in how everyone interacted. The skateboarders and bikers congratulated each other over landed tricks and the older rollerskaters did spins as they danced to the tune of 80’s classics, while laughter and shouts of approval filled the air. I love New York City with all my heart, but that right there was something you’d be hard pressed to find in the 5 boroughs. Venice beach was probably my favorite part of my vacation. I can almost say that I’m happy to have gone alone, because it left me no choice but to be present in the moment. I wasn't explicitly having fun, but I was legitimately happy. For a long time, I’d have a hard time distinguishing the two, but I’m glad that I’ve arrived at that conclusion.

I searched up a nearby taco spot, because that's what I was feeling, and went. It took a few minutes, and I scarfed them down as if I hadn't eaten all year.

Luckily after I finished, my white shirt was still icy. Not a stain in sight. I looked at the time, and realized I had to make it back to the rental spot by 6:30. I lost track of how long it took to get there, and figured it’d be best if I rushed back, and rushed I did. Two minutes into riding, I recognized how much nicer it’d be if I put the GTA San Andreas soundtrack on, and did just that. The spotify playlist provided me the classic tunes that filtered through my ears years ago as I spent countless hours exploring the digital world of California. First I listened to “Welcome to the Jungle”, then “Some Kind of Wonderful”, and a few other classic tracks. My favorite song from the game, “Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd” came on without my input, and I enjoyed every single second of the 10 minute song.

Riding along the beach to those songs while the sun set in the background was by far my favorite memory from the trip.

I returned the bike pleased with my experience, and headed to find somewhere I could charge my phone. I asked a guy for directions to the nearest starbucks, and moved. I found an Apple store along the way, and settled there instead. Classic Soho shenanigans. I waited there on facetime with a fellow writer until it was time to head out to the TrapXart event that night, where I’d be meeting a friend.

The strip mall reminded me of a local street mall in downtown Brooklyn, but there were no vehicles allowed. It was all oddly reminiscent of those places that everyone goes when the cruises let out on Caribbean Islands. Street performers, Live music, bars, and plenty of stores.

Eventually I left and made my way to TrapXart, where I found a line of attractive young black people and joined it. Inside, I was immediately overwhelmed. There was sex themed art everywhere, and the venue itself was amazing. In addition to that, there was a HUGE selection attractive people inside that building. Everyone in there was well put together, the best of Los Angeles showed their face. I messaged an exhibitor I knew from Facebook and quickly found her upstairs. She was exhibiting so I felt weird about hovering with her for too long, considering she had a whole job to do.

I didn't want to be annoying, so after a few short minutes of conversation, I parted ways, promising I’d circle back around later. I’d be there for a few hours, so I needed to find something to do. I went and got a drink to start my social side, because I really didn't have it completely under control yet, and got to work. Before long I was using my instagram story as a crutch to meet any and everyone I was interested in. In all honesty it was too easy. As long as I didn't say something stupid in my intro, they’d definitely talk to me and engage in conversation. It didn't matter who it was, artists, exhibitors, models, or the general audience, I spoke to them all while observing the overtly sexual art around me. I met up with another woman I knew from Facebook and her cousin, and we all clicked rather well. We walked around, split up, reconvened, and stopped to talk about how ironic it was to meet someone who lived in New York, while on vacation in California.

They pretty much got bored of the event, and I realized that although I showed up solo, I was having more fun than they were. No it wasn't gut wrenching laughter, but I wouldn't have minded continuing what I was doing, circulating and speaking to the random people I encountered. Once again, I learned that I could make my own fun, by simply deciding to take action towards the things I wanted to do. I didn't have to settle with a boring experience because the situation wasn't ideal, I had full freedom to make as much out of it as I could, within reasonable limits. It might seem like a minor realization, but I learned something important that I plan to take with me wherever I go. New York, Los Angeles, Ghana, Cambodia, it didn't matter. I could keep myself entertained and engaged in any setting I wanted to, as long as I was willing to step out of my comfort zone. I was enough for me. In New York I had only ever gone out by myself once, and that was one of the most eventful nights of the summer. For a long time I feared being alone, not in an existential sense, but in the sense that I felt company was necessary to enjoy myself or have any fun.  Every interesting thing I had done that entire time, was a result of me pushing myself to get what I wanted, even if it was a little awkward at first. Most times I didn't get what I wanted, other times I got some of it, and some times I got something completely different than what I expected to get. The whole trip pushed me to do things I had normally thought were weird. I didn't even intend for it to teach me as much as it did.

One thing you’ve probably noticed this whole time is that I didn't do anything spectacular. I didn't end up in any wild cocaine-fueled threesomes, didn't wake up on top of a casino, didn't get into any cop chases or turf battles, and I didn't even get to smoke because I just didn't find the right setting for it. It was all in all, a pretty regular vacation. Anyone could do the things I did, and as a matter of fact, I think everyone should. I know if I went with my boys, things would have been drastically different and way more fun, but I wouldn't have learned what I learned or experienced any of the odd situations that made me grow as a human being. Even though it wasn't the exact  type of fun I had hoped for, it all ended up being valuable to me for entirely different reasons. With that being said, I encourage everyone to take a trip alone. Pick a reasonably safe place you're interested in, or in my case a place you can afford, set your money aside, and go. Maybe set it up so you can meet a friend or two while you're away, but don't make them the focus of your trip. Don't bring your entire entourage, don't go and stay with family that will expect you to stay by their side the whole time, and don't go with extremely high expectations of what will happen.

<strong> Just go spend some time by yourself in a strange land.

I’m sure you’ll learn something. </STRONG>

[crunchreviews]

Best Alarm Clock For Heavy Sleepers

Sleeping through the alarm clock is something just about everyone has done at least a couple of times. Yet, some of us, may find it even more challenging to start the morning, hence welcome to our quest finding the best alarm clock for heavy sleepers.

With workdays getting longer, late nights becoming commonplace, and students cramming for their tests, it’s no surprise that heavy sleepers have risen in numbers over the years.

This has led a whole new generation of alarm clocks for deep sleepers. No more showing up to work late. No more missing important meetings. And no more having to worry about whether you’ll wake up to the sound of your alarm.

This new generation of alarm clocks has spurred the onset of many different models to hit the market. Anytime something becomes necessary, the market seems to get flooded with all kinds of options (whether they’re actually of good quality or not).

There are many different things that come into play when it comes to set apart the best alarm clocks for heavy sleepers from the rest. This includes how close it sits next to you, the tone that it uses to wake you, as well as what kind of senses it provokes to alert you.

For every person, things tend to work differently. That’s why we found that it was best to go ahead and feature 10 of the top loud alarm clocks for heavy sleepers on the market today.

Best XXX – Quick Comparison

If you are on the run and not able to go through the detailed description of all the battery chargers in our review, we have prepared a table summarizing the main characteristics you need to know to make your decision. If you need a more detailed comparison, you will find it in the table at the bottom of this page.

Image Decibels / Type / USB Charger / Battery BackUpTop 10 Best Alarm Clocks for Heavy Sleepers

Best Light Strategy – Philips SmartSleep Sleep and Wake-up Light HF3670/60

Most Advanced – Philips SmartSleep HF3670/60

One of the leaders among the best alarm clocks for deep sleepers in the premium segment. Not only does it help you wake up, but also to fall asleep using sophisticated and scientifically proven techniques.

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2 – 5

60-120 Min

10+

Medium

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Best Cooperative – Sonic Alert SBB500SS Sonic Bomb Extra-Loud

Best Cooperative – Sonic Alert SBB500SS Sonic Bomb Extra-Loud

It’s one of the best and the loudest alarm clocks on the market. For deep sleepers who have had their alarm clocks fail in the past, this would be worthy of giving a try.

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2 – 4

60 Min

12+

Medium

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Best Family Fun – Peakeep 4 Twin Bell Alarm Clock

Best Family Fun – Peakeep 4 Twin Bell Alarm Clock

Helps to fight the habit of hitting the snooze button by simply not having one. An elegant retro style analog design with silent-running clock and disturbinfly loud alarm will look nice in almost any home.

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2 – 4

45 Min

8+

Easy

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Best Zombie Trashing – iLuv TimeShaker Super

Best Zombie Trashing – iLuv TimeShaker Super

Best four-player zombie trashing? Look no further, this iteration of the famous Zombicide series is the best one out yet. Cooperate with other players to find a way out of challenging situations overrun by zombies.

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1 – 6

60 Min

10+

Medium

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Best Horror – Clarity 600 Wake Assure Alarm Clock 85Db

Best Horror – Clarity 600 Wake Assure Alarm Clock 85Db

Players take on roles of investigators to fight evil in the city of Arkham. They gather clues, defeat monsters, and find tools and allies in a game that delivers the top 4 player horror experience you will find.

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1 – 6

120-180 Min

12+

Medium

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Best Quick 4 Player Game – Travelwey Digital Alarm Clock

Best Quick 4 Player Game – Travelwey Digital Alarm Clock

A simple, emotional and ruthless 4 player board game that can be explained in 3 minutes and played in half an hour. Roll dice, fight each other and have endless fun competing to become the king of New York!

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2 – 6

40 Min

8+

Easy

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Best Sci-Fi – Screaming Meanie 220 Alarm Clock and Timer

Best Sci-Fi – Screaming Meanie 220 Alarm Clock and Timer

A unique blend of a 4 player cooperative and competitive play where everyone needs to work together to make Mars habitable. However, completing individual objectives earns points and ultimately the victory.

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1 – 5

120 Min

12+

Medium

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Best Strategic Play – Clocky Rolling

Best Strategic Play – Clocky Rolling

Lead your Viking clan, warriors and your ship to victory by going down in a blaze of glory. The game offers a multitude of strategies that encourages strategic thinking, creativity and boosts replay value.

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2 – 4

60-90 Min

12+

Medium

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Best For All Ages – Ruggie Alarm Clock

Best For All Ages – Ruggie Alarm Clock

With over 20 awards and nominations, and millions of copies sold, Ticket to Ride is the all-time classic that works amazingly well with 4 players. Build trains, connect cities in an easy, yet an extremely competitive game.

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2 – 5

30-60 Min

8+

Easy

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Best Wargame – Lielongren Loud Alarm Clock

Best Wargame – Lielongren Loud Alarm Clock

The game of beautiful adventure and war where players battle for control of a vast wilderness. Each side features unique miniatures, capabilities, play style, and different victory conditions. In short – the best asymmetric 4 player war game we’ve ever played.

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2 – 4

60-90 Min

12+

Hard

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1. Best XXX – Philips SmartSleep HF3670/60

Sometimes going to extremes when it comes to waking up isn’t the ideal route for everyone to take.

For those who don’t like getting startled, there’s the Philips SmartSleep Sleep and Wakeup Light. That’s right, it’s a softer approach to your wakeup call.

Most other alarm clocks will use a bright white light to wake sleepers up in the morning.

However, with this Philips alarm clock, it starts with soft red light and then gradually changes to the bright white light.

According to a study done by MetrixLab, Philips SmartSleep users found it easier to wake up compared to other alarm clocks in the test. This means that not only were they able to wake up on a brighter side of the bed, but they were able to take on the day feeling more refreshed than those who weren’t using this alarm clock.

From controlling the intensity of the light to being able to set different weekday/weekend alarms, the number of options are exhaustive when you connect to it via its smartphone application.

To top it off, you can set different lighting patterns and sounds as well.

AmbiTrack sensors take the technology of this clock to a whole new level. The sensors will gather data from your bedroom’s temperature, noise level, lighting, and humidity. From there, it uses the acquired data to help suggest different ways that you can enhance your sleep experience every night.

If you want what seems to be one of the smarter alarm clocks on the market, look no further. Philips HF3670 is the most sophisticated and the most advanced alarm clock for deep sleepers we have ever come across.

Bottom Line test

8/10

Capacity 90% 90%

Features 70% 70%

Ports / Connections 70% 70%

Value 90% 90%

POSITIVE

Backup battery lasts 8 hours

Bedroom sensor monitors room temp, etc

Clinically validated wake-up light

Customizable alarm, light, and sound

RelaxBreathe technology ensures better sleep

NEGATIVE

Can’t easily change to a new phone

View on Amazon

2. Best XXX – Sonic Alert SBB500SS Sonic Bomb Extra-Loud

Being one of the loudest alarm clocks on the market has made the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock a preferred choice among many deep sleepers.

An average alarm clock has a sound level of around 80 decibels while this model reaches up to the staggering 113 decibels. That’s almost the sound level of an airplane preparing for takeoff.

The Sonic Alert SBB500SS can wake you up in numerous ways.

Thanks to the vibrations from the bed-shaker unit you can place under your pillow, adjustable tone, and red flashing lights. If the tone doesn’t get you awake, being shaken awake or alerted by the lights should do the trick in most cases.

While there’s not a silver bullet solution for heavy sleepers, the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock has set itself apart from the rest by making more Amazon customers happy than any other alarm clock for deep sleepers we have reviewed.

A 9V battery provides you with a backup option in case the power goes out. However, the alarm clock doesn’t sound when battery power is used. Backed by a 1-year warranty, it’s one of the most reliable alarms of its kind and it’s available in a variety of designs and colors.

Bottom Line test

7.8/10

Capacity 80% 80%

Features 80% 80%

Ports / Connections 70% 70%

Value 80% 80%

POSITIVE

The loudest alarm clock on the market

Dual alarm

Boasts red alert lights.

Bed-shaker unit imitates shaking you

1-year warranty

NEGATIVE

Doesn’t sound on battery power

View on Amazon

3. Best XXX – Peakeep 4 Twin Bell Alarm Clock

The Peakeep 4 brings a touch of retro style to your home.

The clock comes with an extra loud ring thanks to the twin bell hammer design, with no snooze function making it perfect for heavy sleepers who sleep through mornings by hitting the snooze button.

The device features a backlight button and luminous hands so that you can see the time should you wake up in the night.

This battery-powered, retro-style analog alarm clock delivers intense levels of buzzing sound that can wake up a dead person.

The battery used in the product is a single AA battery and stands at almost 7 inches tall. Being able to fit on most shelves and bedside tables.

It does not tick when running, so you don’t have to worry if you can’t sleep with sounds in the background. And with the added bonus of no snooze button, the snooze abusers won’t have a problem getting up.

The alarm clock comes with three different styles, all with different faces and number styles from roman numerals to standard numeric clock faces.

9/10

Capacity 80% 80%

Features 90% 90%

Ports / Connections 100% 100%

Value 90% 90%

POSITIVE

Super-loud alarm sound

No Snooze button

Night-Light button

No ticking sound at night

NEGATIVE

Practically no additional features

View on Amazon

4. Best XXX – iLuv TimeShaker Super

TODO

TODO

Bottom Line test

7.5/10

Capacity 80% 80%

Features 70% 70%

Ports / Connections 70% 70%

Value 80% 80%

POSITIVE

Benefit1

Benefit2

Benefit3

NEGATIVE

Drawback #1

View on Amazon

5. Best XXX – Clarity 600 Wake Assure

TODO

TODO

Bottom Line test

8.8/10

Capacity 90% 90%

Features 90% 90%

Ports / Connections 80% 80%

Value 90% 90%

POSITIVE

Benefit1

Benefit2

Benefit3

NEGATIVE

Drawback #1

View on Amazon

6. Best XXX – Travelwey Digital Alarm Clock

TODO

TODO

Bottom Line test

8.3/10

Capacity 80% 80%

Features 90% 90%

Ports / Connections 80% 80%

Value 80% 80%

POSITIVE

Benefit1

Benefit2

Benefit3

NEGATIVE

Drawback1

View on Amazon

7. Best XXX – Screaming Meanie 220

TODO

TODO

Bottom Line test

8.3/10

Capacity 90% 90%

Features 70% 70%

Ports / Connections 70% 70%

Value 100% 100%

POSITIVE

Benefit1

Benefit2

Benefit3

NEGATIVE

Drawback1

View on Amazon

8. Best XXX – Clocky Rolling Alarm Clock

TODO

TODO

Bottom Line test

7.8/10

Capacity 90% 90%

Features 70% 70%

Ports / Connections 60% 60%

Value 90% 90%

POSITIVE

Benefit1

Benefit2

Benefit3

NEGATIVE

Drawback1

View on Amazon

9. Best XXX – Ruggie Alarm Clock

TODO

TODO

Bottom Line test

8/10

Capacity 90% 90%

Features 70% 70%

Ports / Connections 80% 80%

Value 80% 80%

POSITIVE

Benefit1

Benefit2

Benefit3

NEGATIVE

Drawback1

View on Amazon

10. Best XXX – Lielongren Loud Alarm Clock

TODO

TODO

Bottom Line test

8/10

Capacity 90% 90%

Ports / Connections 80% 80%

Features 80% 80%

Value 70% 70%

POSITIVE

Benefit1

Benefit2

Benefit3

NEGATIVE

Drawback1

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Frequently Asked Questions

What capacity power bank do I need?

It depends on the devices you are planning to charge. The easiest way to work it out is:

Find the mAh rating for the device you are planning to charge (e.g. 2000 mAh)

Add 20% that will be lost in the process of charging (e.g. 2000 + 20% = 2400 mAh)

You will get the power bank’s capacity required to fully recharge the battery of your device once

How long does it take to charge a power bank?

This directly depends on two factors – power bank’s capacity (mAh) and the electric current produced by the charger (amp). The higher the capacity, the longer it will take to charge. The bigger the power of the electric current is, the less time it takes to recharge the battery.

How else do people refer to a power bank?

It can be referred to as a power bank, battery pack, portable charger, power cell and even a fuel cell.

What type of cells are used in power banks?

Generally speaking, it is either lithium-Polymer (Li-Po) or Lithium-Ion (Li-Ion).

Li-Ion batteries are cheaper to make and have their efficiency decrease with age.

Li-Po batteries are more expensive to produce and last longer.

How much of the actual capacity do power banks retain?

If you maintain the power bank well, you can expect from 80% to 90% of the nominal mAh efficiency to be retained.

The post Best Alarm Clock For Heavy Sleepers appeared first on Crunch Reviews.

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[tipsycad147]

5 Super Easy Ways To Cast A Circle

Avery Hart

Circle casting is one of those skills that witches get really, really confused about. I don’t blame them! There’s a ton of conflicting information out there about what a circle really is, what it’s for, how you go about actually creating one, and even whether or not you need one in the first place!

While all of those questions are valid, I only want to tackle two of them today: the how and the why.

Whether or not you should cast a circle is a huge subject in witchy communities. Some say you absolutely have to cast a circle every time you work magic. Other say they NEVER cast circles. Still others fall somewhere in between, using circles only when it suits them. As with most things in the craft, there’s no single “right” answer! Whether or not you cast a circle is about you, your magic, and what works.

In order to figure out where you stand on this matter, it’s important to know exactly why we cast circles in the first place. Circles are dual purposed. On the one hand, they create a barrier, protecting from outside interference in your magic as well as preventing your energy from escaping the protected space before you’re ready. On the other hand, circles create a place that is between worlds. Instead of being a place firmly anchored in the physical world or in the spiritual/astral world, your circle marries the two into a space that allows for truly powerful work.

There are a few reasons you might want to work in this space between the worlds, the first is that it can heighten your spiritual senses. This allows you to do things like commune with spirits, astral travel, and read energy patterns far easier. In these situations, I think a circle is generally a good idea just for the boost it gives you there. Another reason you might want to work between the worlds is just to get yourself in a witchier mindset. It’s hard to feel too disconnected from magic when it’s swirling all around you.

If you’re doing work that doesn’t require heightened spiritual senses and doesn’t necessitate protection, then you might forgo the circle altogether. This is really a personal preference though. Some witches, new witches in particular, benefit greatly from using a circle every time they cast simply because it provides a good structure and mental trigger for when it’s time to drop into that witchy headspace.  Some witches may find that their work never takes them into a situation that might require a circle so they never cast them! You’ll need to figure out for yourself how you prefer to use circles in your own practice.

Ok, so now we’ll move onto the how. You can find a basic circle casting method anywhere, the internet is full of them. The problem with many of these rituals, however, is that they’re not all that practical. Some are very long, others require a lot of tools or memorising long incantations. You might even find that some aspects of the traditional methods don’t work for you at all! I know plenty of witches who find that calling the corners and invoking the elements feels really fake and staged to them because that's just not a part of their craft.

If you fall into this category, don’t worry. Today I want to go over some easy to use alternative options for circle casting that can help you find the ideal method for your practice.

Visualisation Only

For those who want a truly minimalist approach to circle casting, pure visualisation can work beautifully for casting an effective circle. This method requires absolutely no tools and even if you’re not a visual person, there are ways to “visualise” with other senses.

People often avoid visualising because they think they can’t visualise at all but the complete inability to visualise is fairly rare, most of the time it’s simply underutilised. To find out if you can’t visualise or if you’re simply a person who can but are not well practised at it, close your eyes and picture your bedroom. Can you see it? If yes, then you can absolutely visualise, it may just not be your strongest imaginative sense. Using other senses to imagine energetic work is also effective though. You may need to personalise these exercises but you can absolutely imagine physical sensations, sounds, or even smells if that works for you.

To begin creating a visualised circle, you need to first pick an area to work in and figure out how large your circle is going to be. This can encompass just you, you and an altar, the room you’re in, or even an entire building! The choice is up to you and it should match the kind of magic you’re doing. When you have a good feel for the space you’re in, imagine a blue light (or another colour if you like) shooting out of your heart space or your hand to the centre of the circle that you want to create. See that energy begin to grow there in the middle and slowly expand into a small sphere. As you continue to pour energy into it, watch it grow to encompass the entire space that you want it to cover. Set the intention for the sphere to remain in place while you work by saying or thinking, “The circle is cast, we are now between the worlds.” You can now move on with your magical working.

When you’re ready to close the circle, reabsorb the energy into your heart or palm, seeing the sphere shrink down until it’s just a little point of light before it disappears completely. When you’ve finished, say or think “The circle is closed but never broken.”

Marking Off A Circle

This method simply requires you to have 3, 4, 6, or 9 of an object. It can be any object and number that speaks to you but try to keep the objects similar. For example, 6 seashells, 3 crystals, 9 candles, or 4 houseplants would all work just fine. If you have some kind of object that is particularly sacred in your craft this would be an ideal way to work that into your spell casting more.

All you’re going to do is hold your objects in your hands and set your intention for them creating the boundary of your circle. They are there to protect you and create a place between the worlds for you. When you have set your intention, place these objects in a circle that is as large or small as you need. If you’re using something like candles please remember basic fire safety! You don’t want to accidentally bump a candle over and set your carpet ablaze.

You can say some words if you like but you don’t need to. The circle is set as soon as the last item is in place. To close the circle simply pick all of the items back up.

Joining Hands

If you’re working with a group of people, or even just more than one person, a circle can be cast by simply holding hands with the other witches in your circle and collectively setting an intention. You can agree ahead of time on a phrase or intention to use during this process or simply set the intention silently. Imagine all of your collective energy joining to create a solid wall around you with the energy flowing clockwise through your joined hands. This method of circle casting can be extremely effective despite how simple it is!

To close this circle, return to having your hands joined around the circle and have everyone begin to pull their own energy back to them, this time focusing counter clockwise. As the circle dissolves, break the hand holding, take a deep breath, and recite any closing words that you may like.

Sound Circle

Anything that creates an emotional response or sensation in a person can be used to move and structure energy. For this circle you'll need to choose a song that makes you feel powerful, try to stick with something positive since energy that is too angry or sad can be volatile and doesn’t work well for this purpose. I like a song with fairly heavy bass because the thumping feels powerful to me. This music also doesn’t have to be typical ritual music! I regularly use rap music for this type of work because the rhythmic nature just feels right to me. Use whatever works for you and don’t be afraid to experiment a bit until you find the right song.

You can play your song in the room or just use headphones, it will work either way. When you’re ready, stand in the centre of where your circle will be and play your song. Close your eyes and really feel the music. Let it stir up feelings and sensations. This may take several repetitions of the song but if you’ve chosen well you should get there relatively quickly.

When you’re starting to feel the music properly, begin to imagine the music filling you up and mingling with your own energy, causing it to pulsate and move with the beat. As this grows, feel it spill out of you and expand; feel free to dance or move in a way that feels good while you’re doing this. Feel the music continue to expand outward, creating a bubble of sound and energy with you in the very centre. When it’s the size you want, hold onto this shape for a moment until it feels nice and stable (though you will likely still feel energy movement) and then you can open your eyes, turn off the song, and get down to working your magic.

Turning off the music won’t burst the bubble you’ve created, sound is actually a very effective way to guide energy and sustain it. If you think the music will help with the work you’re doing you’re welcome to leave it on though, the choice is yours.

To close this kind of circle, you’ll want to imagine something rather like pulling the plug on a drain. See or feel the energy draining out of the space and down into the earth to be dissipated and recycled. You can even play a sound effect for a drain type noise if sound works very well for you.

The “Follow Me” Circle

Of all the types of circles we’ve talked about today, this is the most likely to be misused. The reason for this is that this kind of circle will do exactly as the title says, it follows you. Instead of being anchored to a specific place, it’s anchored to you so that you can move around, change scenery, or work magic on the go. This can be incredibly useful in the right situation! It can also be very dangerous. The reason this is dangerous is that some people will think it’s a good idea to basically live in a circle 24/7. Let me assure you, this is NOT a good idea.

Circles are extremely useful tools and while it might seem like a good way to bring that witchy feel into your day to day life, living in a circle would be both draining and very unbalancing. Visiting the space between the worlds is ok in short stints but over a significant amount of time without a break, it’s not good for you. We’re simply not meant to function split between places that way! You need time to be fully in this world for your body and energy to properly recover and be ready for such an altered state of being again.

All warnings aside, this circle is a cinch to cast. All you need to do is find something that you can wear that goes around you in some way, a belt, a necklace, or a bracelet work perfectly. Even rings work for some people. This item should be something that you intend to wear only when you want to be in your circle, no other time! Again, living in your circle = Bad.

Hold this item in your hands and pour your intent into it. You can light a candle, say some words, use visualisation, whatever works for you. Just hold the intention that this item will place you in a protected magical space while you’re wearing it. When you feel you’ve sufficiently charged the item, it’s time to put it on. As you put it on, imagine the circle expanding outward from it. This is typically a fairly small circle because it follows you; it doesn’t need to take up much space! Stand and just feel this circle for a moment. When you’re ready, go about your work as you normally would. To close the circle simply take the item off.

Each time you use your portable circle, make sure to repeat the visualization as you’re putting the item on. Over time this builds strength and permanence in the circle and will make it increasingly more useful to you.

Again, with all of these methods and with the craft as a whole, always do what actually works for you and gets you results. Just because you like the sound of a particular method doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you and just because skipping a circle sounds better to you doesn’t mean you wouldn’t get better results in a circle. Always experiment and find what is most effective for you and your craft because that’s what this is all about!

Ever wondered if you’re really prepared to handle the dangers of the craft?

Or maybe you've recently come face to face with these dangers and you're determined to be better prepared next time.

Either way, you need to learn magical defence. This set of skills is absolutely paramount for new witches, witches looking to take their work to the next level, and even witches who are just looking for a little more peace and quiet in their spiritual lives. The craft doesn't have to be dangerous, stressful, or traumatic!

In Defensive Magic For Beginners, I’ve created a step by step learning path that will give you the boost you need to start defending yourself confidently today.

Learn More Here >>

https://thetravelingwitch.com/blog/2018/7/5/5-super-easy-ways-to-cast-a-circle

[miracufic]

Oh, screw it, I’m still irritated.

Have “Uncle Miracufic’s Guide to Learning When You’re Being a Little Tit and Should Probably Stop”, or if you want a less dickish title, “Accepting (and Providing) Criticism 101″.

To preface what follows, learn how to construct an argument, and I don’t mean a “let’s take this outside you punk” argument, I mean a proper philosophically defined argument.  These two sites provide a decent guide on how to do that, and this site is a nice little interactive summary of what not to do in an argument.

Annnnyways.

Guide for Critics Or: Learning When You’re Being a Smug Little Tit and Should Probably Stop

Remember that your goal is not to prove your intellectual superiority and if it is then stop it.  Your job, as a critic, is to help the object of your criticism improve.

If you can, approach them one-on-one, not in comments or in posts.  People are much less defensive about something they’ve created and much more receptive to suggestions if they don’t need to defend it in front of a perceived audience.  (The necessary corollary, of course, is that if you can’t, then the public option is the only one available, come what may.)

Always try to mention something positive.  In general, if you say, “this sucks, improve it” people will be discouraged and less likely to adopt that change than if you say “this is good, do more of it”.  People like hearing about things they’ve done well and will do more of it.

Right, now that we’ve got the psychological warfare down.

Learn the difference between an attack and actual criticism.  Here’s a hint.  Proper criticism cites.  It cites verse and chapter, specific passages, events, so on and so forth.  An attack doesn’t.  At its heart, criticism is an argument, in its most technical sense.  It accepts certain premises, advances lines of reasoning built upon those premises, and from those builds a conclusion (a bit of an oversimplification, but it suffices for this).  Citing is vital to good argumentation, because it provides the argument with an anchor in verifiable truth.  If you said, for example, that I am obviously a large featherless owl, based upon my constant obsession with consuming small squeaky things without chewing and complaints about how cold it is without feathers, any outside observer can go to my blog and say, “shit, I guess miracufic really is a featherless owl“ or “no, you’re full of shit, he is obviously a bipedal mammal descended from an ape-like common ancestor and not a bird of prey that flits about in the night not at all no sir”.  The reason why this is so important is that, again, it gives the argument an anchor in independently verifiable truth.  Anyone can delude themselves all day, but having that evidence available makes it much, much harder.

Never respond immediately.  If you see something that incenses you, don’t respond.  Leave it alone for a day, look at it again; if it still ticks you off take another day.  You will never do good criticism if you’re pissed off.

Keep it neutral.  Keep it based around the actual, citable, evidence, and for the love of whatever deity you believe in don’t be a shithead.  If you’re a critic your job is not to attack someone, it is to point out the flaws in someone’s writing/art/whatever the fuck so that they can improve.  Leave the ad hominems out of it.  Leave the hostility out of it.  Keep your tone neutral.

Have a bit of perspective.  Remember that the people you’re criticizing are people, that they decided to share their creation, their baby, with the world, and that they would rather see if grow healthily than see it fed into a woodchipper.

No one is obligated to accept your criticism, and if they don’t then “no harm, no foul”.  (Of course, if there actually is a measure of harm going on, then things are going to get extremely messy extremely quickly.)

‘course, this cuts both ways.

Guide for Creators Or: Learning When You’re Acting Like the Greatest Thing Since da Vinci and Should Probably Stop

Learn the difference between an attack and actual criticism.  Guess what, buster, you’re not perfect.  You will, inevitably, screw up.  The newer you are at whatever it is the more you will screw up.  The whole point of criticism is to point out with precision where you’ve screwed up so that you can improve on it.

Criticism is not a popularity contest.  I don’t care how may people agree with you, two plus two does not equal biscuits and a cuppa, and if someone claims something about my writing (e.g. I’m infantilizing my female characters and I’m a shithead for doing that for such and such reasoning) and provides evidence, then it doesn’t matter how many people in my little echo chamber agree with me, any decent response to that needs to address the actual evidence they’ve cited, either by pointing out how their interpretation is incorrect, by pointing out how they’re not looking at the whole picture, or by examining their argument and ultimately agreeing with them.  Or, really, any other option that considers the actual evidence being cited.

Never respond immediately.  You will never have a good off-the-cuff response to criticism.  Back off, take a day, come back.  Repeat as necessary.

You are inevitably going to get actual, good criticism with citations and suggestions and all that good stuff that is decidedly hostile from your perspective.  To which the only advice I have is forget the tone.  The tone does not matter.  Yes, your feelings concerning the tone will inevitably matter because I have never met someone capable of completely dissociating themselves from their feelings but keep it as isolated and remote as possible.  Dissect the argument.  Note what things they cite and the things they claim and see if they’re legitimate or complete hogwash.  Note what things they claim about those citations and claim those citations show and see if they’re complete hogwash.  Again, proper criticism is ultimately rooted in independently verifiable fact, which does not care about your feelings on the subject.  If someone provides evidence about something and bases their claims around it, then a response to it should be based around evidence as well, and focusing on the tone will just cloud the issue and inevitably lead into a death spiral of an argument.

Don’t be a shithead.  It cuts both ways; a good critic bases their arguments around actual hard evidence and a good response addresses those arguments and that evidence.  There is precisely zero place for ad hominems in this.

No one is obligated to accept the validity of criticism.  Allow me to reiterate a point above with a little twist: the validity of an argument is not dependent on the results of a popularity contest.  If you have evaluated the evidence and the arguments made concerning it and you think their logic is shit, then fine, okay.  If someone presents bad criticism, if they cite and construct their argument around that and everyone agrees but their argument is flawed, either at the level of premise or logic, then guess what, everyone’s wrong.  Most of the time Sometimes people are dumb like that.  Block them, ignore them, argue with them, whatever, you’re still right, they’re still wrong.  But if you haven’t actually stepped back and worked through their arguments, if you just reflexively call bullshit on them, then you don’t have that superior moral position.

Look, I get it.  The tumblr mob is just that, a mob.  It is a big, dumb animal that bites first and asks one question while slavering over the little torn-up remains of its victims, and that question is “What a good job we did, didn’t we?”  It is, I think, a completely understandable defensive mechanism to, when faced with anything even looking slightly like it, turtle up and huddle under a constant stream of positive reinforcement.

It’s also a fantastic way to never improve.  Growth doesn’t come from echo chambers, it comes from being open and receptive to outside ideas, and adopting and adapting the non-shit ones.  Part of that is adopting the good from things you read.  Part of that is learning where you suck and need to improve.