#Pretty Boy - Chapter 4 - 03

[jtl-fics]

more pretty boy please! it remains my favorite and I am always excited to see what happens next. it's 11:19 pm for me I hope it's not too late!

WIP Wednesday 4/10/24 (Closed) | Pretty Boy

Neil kicks him back and the two of them chat about what monster the two of them would prefer to be. "Of course you'd pick vampire with your fetish." Andrew huffs.

"You picked werewolf with your pack mentality so it isn't like you're any better." Neil remarks back as he finishes off his fries.

Andrew's stomach feels cold from the amount of ice cream in it but he ignores it.

"I only have to deal with it being a problem one night a month, you're not going to be able to go into the sun." Andrew points.

[daeniradraconis]

Right Where You Left Me

Hey lovelies ✨

Chapter 4 is finally here! Not gonna lie, this one’s a bit heavier and slower, but I really wanted to take my time building up all the feels and the backstory before things get even more intense.

Thanks so much for sticking with me through this slow burn!

Enjoy the read!

Themes/Warnings: Hannah Elise Hughes x William Nylander, grief and loss, coma, emotional struggle, hospital setting, mention of divorce, some grammar mistakes as I’m not a native speaker

Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04

Chapter 4: A Life Moved On

The hospital room was quiet, with just your and Jack’s steady breathing filling the still air. You sat up in the bed, propped against pillows, trying to make sense of the past few hours — the doctors’ hurried visits, the overwhelming flood of information, and the dizzying realization that five years had slipped by without you.

Jack stood by the window, arms crossed, the light catching the edges of his face. He hadn’t said much since you woke up, just that gentle, familiar smile tugging at his lips — the same boyish grin you remembered from childhood, the one that always made you laugh even when things were hard. It was a smile full of warmth and a little sadness, like he was trying to hold together too many feelings all at once.

It’s him. Your little brother. But he’s not quite the Jack you remember. He looks older—not in a way that hits you all at once, but in quiet details you can’t ignore. His jaw is sharper, his shoulders broader, and there are faint lines on his face you’ve never seen before. His hair is longer, swept back like he’s stopped bothering to keep it neat. He’s more grown-up, more solid—like the boy you knew has somehow stepped aside for a man you barely recognize. And it stings, realizing he’s changed without you there to see it.

You catch yourself wondering about the others. Does William still flash that crooked grin when he’s teasing? Has Luke grown into his curls, or do they still bounce like they used to? Does Quinn smell the same—like cedar and lemons, his quiet signature? Is your mom’s hair starting to silver at the temples, or is she still the same? And your dad—does his hug still hold that steady, comforting weight, like the world’s still okay no matter what?

You want to believe some things never change. But you’re not sure anymore.

You cleared your throat. “Jack… how is everyone? How are they all doing?”

He turned toward you, his smile softening even more. “They’re... good. They’re managing.”

You studied him carefully. There was no hesitation in his voice, but something about the way he avoided looking you directly in the eyes made your chest tighten.

“Tell me about Luke,” you said, eager for something normal, something solid. “I want to know everything.”

Jack’s grin widened, and for a moment, the old Jack was back — the loud, cocky, frat-boy hockey player you teased endlessly.

“Luke’s on the Devils now. Playing with me. It’s pretty wild, honestly,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Brothers on the same team? It rarely happens. I’m happy I can actually be there for him.”

A dull ache bloomed in your chest, the reality of all the missed years and memories settling over you like a heavy blanket.

“Your first few years were rough, huh?” you asked softly, your voice almost a whisper.

Jack nodded, his eyes clouding over for a moment, like he was reliving it all. “Yeah. The league’s... brutal. You only saw the beginning, Eli. But those first few seasons? I was barely holding on. Pressure from every side, your accident hanging over me like a shadow. I didn’t know if I could do it. Sometimes it still feels like a fever dream I can’t quite wake up from.” His voice cracked just a little.

You reached out without thinking, and he took your hand gently. His smile softened, warm and familiar. Without hesitation, he sat on the edge of your bed and wrapped his fingers around yours. Jack had always loved touch—always needed it to feel connected—and after everything, after waking up from five years in a coma, you felt a quiet relief knowing that at least this hadn’t changed. 

“But Luke...” Jack’s smile shifted, a bit lighter, but still tired. “He’s killing it. Loving the league. He’s living with me now, though honestly, he drives me crazy El. He leaves socks everywhere and still eats the grossest stuff. Clearly doesn’t care about the elite athlete diet.”

You laughed quietly, sharing a warm smile. “That’s Lukey through and through.”

Jack shook his head, laughing softly with you. “I call him a gremlin sometimes. Last Christmas, I got him a sweater that said, ‘Protein shakes aren’t meals, and socks belong in the hamper.’ Thought maybe it’d guilt him into being less of a disaster. Didn’t work. He wore it proudly and left three pairs of socks under the tree. He’s still just Lukey. Same chaos, same heart.”

His voice softened as his eyes settled on you. He reached over, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, the way he used to when you were both younger. That familiar, easy gesture made your throat tighten.

“He’s going to lose it when he sees you, Eli bug,” he said, and just like yours, his eyes turned a little watery.

Your chest ached in that bittersweet way only family can make you feel—full of love, nostalgia, and a quiet knot of nerves. You were so ready to see him, to feel that familiar energy again… but a small part of you still wondered: would it all feel the same?

“And Quinn?” you asked, your heart picking up pace. You weren’t sure if it was hope, nerves, or both. Talking was easier than letting yourself feel everything all at once.

Jack gave you a proud smile. “Quinn’s a captain now. Can you believe it? The youngest in the Vancouver Canucks history!”

You chuckled, trying to play it cool. “Well, he had plenty of practice bossing around hockey players—with you and Luke as his test subjects.”

The joke landed, but the warmth in your chest said more than words could. Hearing that your oldest brother was thriving…it meant everything. If anyone deserved that title, it was Quinn.

“And what about his love life? Has he finally settled down?” 

Jack bursts out laughing. “Settle down? No way. Quinn’s still a total mess. Ever since you went into that coma, he’s been bugging me for advice.”

He shakes his head, grinning. “Which is hilarious, because I’m about as qualified to give love advice as a squirrel is to drive a car.”

“That figures, pretty boy. You were always terrible at that stuff. You were a ladies’ man, sure, but you knew how to have fun with them—not how to keep them.”

Jack whips his head around, that ridiculously big, cocky smile already stretching across his face.

“What now?!” you say, surprised but laughing.

He leans in, grinning like a maniac. “You called me pretty boy.”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I did, you idiot! You're pretty Jacky, and you know it.”

His grin spreads even wider—practically gleaming. “No one’s called me that in five years, HanHan. It’s good to be back in business. Luke and Quinn better watch out—time for them to remember who runs this family.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “You’re nuts.”

Jack winks. “Nuts, sure—but also the family’s prince charming. Honestly, those boys don’t give my good looks enough credit.”

You burst out laughing. “Poor thing, it must be torture having an ego that big and no one constantly feeding it.”

Jack folds his arms, smirking like he just won an invisible award. “Anyway, now that you’re back, I’m handing your emotional support sibling title right back. I’m wiped out. Quinn’s been moaning for years about wanting to settle down, but dude’s the problem. He just doesn’t get it.”

“Oh yeah? Since when did you become Mr. Relationship Expert?”

“After five years of listening to Quinn screw up his shitty love life, I’ve got a pretty good idea where he’s going wrong. I’m no expert, but damn, the guy needs therapy—or maybe just you yelling at him. Honestly, therapy might be easier. You get pretty scary when you’re in your element, Eli.”

You laughed, a soft, genuine sound that made Jack’s eyes light up. His hand stayed wrapped around yours, his thumb tracing slow, soothing circles across your skin.

“Anyway, enough about Mr. Loverboy,”Jack chuckled.“Mom and Dad are still in Michigan, still obsessed with hockey. Mom landed a role with the women’s Olympic development team, and Dad’s finally retired. Now he just watches our games and spends his days on the golf course.”

Your chest tightened again, but this time with a comforting relief. “It’s good to know they’re okay. Makes me happy.”

Then you cleared your throat, heart pounding, and finally asked the question that had been on your mind the moment you opened your eyes. “And William?” you whispered, barely daring to speak.

Jack’s face shifted, his smile fading just a bit.

“He’s holding up, but it wasn’t easy,” Jack said, his voice quieter now, weighed down with something deeper. “Honestly, he was really broken for a long time—just like the rest of us. But losing you hit him in a way no one else could understand. He blamed himself... for a long, long time.”

Jack cleared his throat before he continued. “But he fought through it. His family, his friends and us didn’t let him fall apart. Steph made sure there was always warm food in his fridge. Auston stuck by him so he wouldn’t be alone, and when he moved out, Alex moved right in. We made sure he was included—every birthday, every family dinner. Mom never missed a week without calling him.”

Jack looked down briefly, then met your eyes again. His grip on your hand tightened, just slightly. “He can’t wait to see you,” he said softly. “He booked the first flight he could. You know he always heads back to Sweden in the off-season... He’s coming as fast as he can, but it’ll still be a couple of days.”

You nod slowly, your heart heavy, stretched between gratitude and something too deep to name. Everything feels surreal—like you’ve slipped through time and landed somewhere you don’t fully recognize. For you, it was just yesterday—his hand in yours, his voice low and familiar in your ear. You can still feel the warmth of that moment, still hear the way he said your name. But for him… it’s been five years.

You don’t know what his life looks like now. What scars he carries. What versions of himself were built in your absence. The thought of it makes your chest ache in a way that feels older than your body. You have so many questions—too many to ask. So many fears crawling beneath your skin. What if he’s different? What if you are?

But for now, you bury the panic. You shove the grief and guilt down into the dark, and you hold on to the one thing that still feels real:

You just want to see him. Look into those blue eyes and know that he’s there. Feel his hands on your skin, his arms around you. Rest your head on his chest and breathe in something familiar. Pretend, for just a little while, that time didn’t win.

Jack glanced away for a moment, then back again—his eyes glassy, his shoulders trembling like he was holding something in and losing the fight.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, voice low and cracking.

You tilted your head. “For what?”

“For all the time you missed. For not being here more. I should’ve come more, Eli. I should’ve—” He swallowed hard, words slipping through guilt.

You give his hand a  firm, reassuring squeeze.

“Oh, Jacky.” Your voice was soft but steady. “I was basically sleeping for five years. Nothing you did or didn’t do could’ve changed that. And you’re here now—that’s what matters.”

He let out a shaky breath, and a single tear traced down his cheek before he quickly wiped it away. He cleared his throat like he hated being caught in the act of feeling too much.

“Damn it, pretty boy,” you teased gently. “You even cry handsomely.”

He snorted, half-laughing through his sandness. “Yeah, well… lethal face card, remember?”

“Come here, you ridiculous Adonis.”

You didn’t wait—you just opened your arms and tugged him close, your fingers curling around his shoulders like they used to when he was small. He didn’t hesitate. Not even for a second. Jack climbed into the narrow hospital bed beside you without a word, awkward limbs and all, and pressed his face into your shoulder like he used to when thunder rattled the windows and he’d sneak into your room, scared and too proud to admit it.

He clung to you—tight, desperate. Like if he let go, something might break in him for good.

You held him just as tightly. One arm wrapped around his back, the other stroking slowly through his hair. He was trembling—quiet, choked sobs rising from somewhere deep, from a place only siblings ever seem to reach in each other.

So you did what you always did. You hummed his lullaby. The one he made you sing a hundred times too many. The one that always made him pretend he wasn’t listening, even as he leaned closer.

And right then, the world outside faded. He wasn’t the tough, 24-year-old hockey star everyone else saw. He wasn’t the charming “pretty boy” with the lethal face card.

He was just Jack. Your Jack. Curled up in your arms like a kid again. Safe. Small. Loved.

And he let himself fall apart—because you were finally there to catch him.

—

You’d heard the footsteps before you saw them. A dozen rushed steps down the sterile hallway, muffled by rubber soles and panic. The door burst open, and there they were.

Luke was first.

He crashed into the room like a storm—wild-eyed and breathless. His curls were longer now, a mess under his backwards cap, and his shoulders had broadened in a way that didn’t belong to the teenage boy you remembered. He was tall. So tall he had to duck slightly to get through the doorway. All shoulders and muscle and momentum. His voice cracked into the air before you could even breathe.

And then—like a dam giving way—he dropped his bag, crossed the room in three giant steps, and pulled you into the tightest hug you’d ever felt.

“Holy shit,” he whispered. “Holy shit, Eli. You’re here. You’re really here.”

You felt him trembling against you, his arms locked around your back like he was afraid you'd vanish if he let go. He pulled back for a moment, cupping your face in both hands, scanning you like he didn’t quite trust his own eyes. He was trying not to cry. And failing miserably.

“You look older,” you whispered.

He let out a shaky laugh, already crying. “So do you, HanHan. Not gonna lie, this hospital gown is not doing you any favors.”

You chuckled and tugged him back into a hug. He squeezed tighter, practically suffocating you, and then—suddenly—pulled you into a full-standing hug, lifting you off the bed like you weighed nothing. That’s when you really felt it—how much taller he was now. How big. How grown.

You smiled into his hoodie, tears sliding freely down your face. “You’re huge.”

He snorted. “Yeah, well… pro athlete and stuff. You know?!”

You rolled your eyes at the cocky answer. Living with Jack had clearly rubbed off on him. You made a quiet mental note to humble him later. This family could only handle one cocky bastard, and Jack had that role down to perfection.

Then, in the doorway behind Luke, you spotted another figure.

Quinn.

He didn’t rush. He moved slowly, his posture stiff, like every step toward you was heavier than the last. His expression was unreadable, but you could feel it—the crack forming just beneath the surface. Quinn had always been the composed one. The protector. The eldest son.

He stopped a few feet away, fists clenched at his sides.

You looked at him. Really looked.

He hadn’t changed much—not physically. Still clean lines, still quiet eyes. But there was more weight in his stare now. Like the years had pressed down on him and he’d just… let them. He looked at you like you were a ghost. A miracle.

“Hey,” you said softly, untangling yourself from Luke’s arms.

Quinn opened his mouth, but no sound came.

Then he closed the distance in one motion. He wrapped you in a fierce, bone-crushing hug, his arms shaking around you. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, and then his whole body just collapsed against yours. A slow, silent surrender.

You felt the first sob before you heard it.

“I’m sorry,” he choked. “I’m so sorry, Eli…”

“Oh, Quinny,” you whispered, holding him tighter. “You didn’t do anything. You don’t have to say sorry, you silly boy.”

Your fingers slipped into his chestnut waves, rubbing his back with one hand and petting his head with the other, the way you used to when you were kids and he couldn’t sleep after watching a scary movie. The way only you could comfort him.

He nodded into your shoulder, not letting go. And neither did you.

Because this was Quinn. The one who made pancakes for you at midnight. The one who stood between you and the world. The one who never cried—until now.

Then, the door creaked open again.

Your parents stepped in.

Together.

Your dad’s arm was wrapped tight around your mom’s shoulders. And your mom—your always-stylish, always-composed, effortlessly cool mom—was a mess. Her hands were clutched together, trembling. Her lips were tight. Her mascara had run halfway down her cheeks. Your dad looked like a man trying not to fall apart—his jaw locked, eyes wide, locked on you like he couldn’t believe you were real.

You stood in the middle of your brothers, still wrapped in Quinn’s arms, when your mom saw you—and just crumbled.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she breathed. “My girl. My baby girl.”

She rushed forward, gently pulling you from your brother’s arms, and pressed kiss after kiss to your forehead, cheeks, hair—anywhere she could reach.

“Oh, baby,” she cried. “My baby. My girl. You’re awake. You’re here.”

Your dad followed behind her, slower, quieter. When he reached you, he placed both hands gently on your face, then pressed his forehead to yours.

“Eli,” he whispered, his voice shaking. “My God.”

You’d never seen him cry like that. Not once in your life. He kissed your hair, your temple, your cheekbone, like he was trying to memorize every inch of you.

You let them hold you. Just stood there like a little girl again, letting your parents wrap you in the kind of warmth that only they could give.

Then—just as the room began to quiet, as your parents’ touch softened and your brothers held you like you might slip away again—

Jack’s voice cut through the room.

“Okay, okay,” he said, stepping forward with his hands up in mock surrender. “How about a family hug before I start feeling left out?”

Everyone turned to him—still crying, still sniffling—but already shifting, reaching, laughing through the tears.

And just like that, it happened.

Arms wrapped around arms. Heads bumped. Bodies tangled.

Luke’s laugh turned into a hiccup. Your mom buried her face in your hair again. Quinn let out one of those tight, watery chuckles that sounded like a release. Even your dad—stoic, steady—wrapped an arm around Jack and pulled him into the chaos.

It was messy. Loud. Too many arms, too many feelings. And absolutely perfect.

You were in the middle of it—pressed into your family like a heartbeat—and you didn’t even care that you couldn’t breathe properly.

Then Jack’s voice piped up again, muffled somewhere behind you.

“By the way,” he said, “Eli called me a pretty boy yesterday. Just putting that out there. For, you know, historical record.”

A chorus of groans filled the room.

Your dad rolled his eyes. Luke groaned louder than anyone. Your mom laughed through her tears and gave Jack a swat on the arm—the same way she used to when he got too full of himself. Quinn muttered, “Seriously, Eli? Feeding his ego right after waking up from a coma?”

“You can’t deny it, Quinn. He is pretty. He cried and still looked good. Only models pull that off.”

Jack beamed. “Oh, this is a new high. I’m a model now, guys.”

You rested your head on his shoulder, snorting. “Yeah, well, you’re still the most annoying person I’ve ever loved.”

“I think I can live with that, Eli bug.”

Laughter rippled through the room again. Someone pulled you into a hug. Someone kissed your hair. You were home.

—

The hospital room feels too warm—summer showed up early in Toronto this year. You tug at the soft cotton dress your mom brought, the fabric light against your skin, its faded floral print offering a small kind of comfort in a place that’s never felt like home. You run your fingers through your hair, catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. There’s something like hope stirring in your chest. Today, finally, you get to leave. To go back to William. Back to your bed. To Banksy and Pablo curled at your feet, their quiet breathing the kind of peace you’ve dreamed of every night since you woke up.

You peek into the hallway, looking for your family. You expect smiles, maybe even a gentle escort, but the corridor is quiet except for a low voice coming from around the corner.

Luke’s voice.

You step closer, heart fluttering with relief — until you hear what he’s saying.

“This is not a good plan, man. We’re going to a hotel right now, but we have to explain why she can’t come back to your apartment. She knows we have keys.”

You freeze. Your breath catches. The words don’t quite sink in, but the tone — the hesitation, the tension — sets off alarms in your chest.

“No, I didn’t tell her...” Luke’s voice is tight, strained, trembling with something fierce. “Look, I don’t want to break her heart. She doesn’t know you divorced her while she was in a coma... and married someone else just a few months ago.”

The words hit you like a gunshot. Divorce? Married someone else? What the hell is Luke talking about? 

“What do you want me to say, Will?” Luke snaps, voice rough and bitter. “Oh, sorry sis, I know you just woke up after five years in a coma, but yeah, we figured it’d be super helpful to drop the news that your husband’s got a new wife now. And we were all at their damn wedding, supporting him like it was the right thing to do. Sorry if that’s news to you. Sorry we all thought you were as good as dead.”

You stare at the wall, feeling it close in, breath shallow and quick. The ground beneath you feels like it’s crumbling away, piece by piece. Divorced. Married again. 

While you were fighting for your life.

While you were unconscious.

The shock doesn’t come in one big wave. It’s slower, colder—like the heat has been drained from your body and everything inside you has gone still.

You blink. Then again. Like maybe the world will make sense the next time your eyes open. It doesn’t.

William... married someone else. Your family knew. And no one told you.

The house you built together isn’t yours anymore. Your bed. Your kitchen. Your dogs. Someone else is living your life.

You try to breathe, but something tightens in your chest. You lean against the wall, suddenly lightheaded.

You remember his voice—soft and steady—telling you he’d wait forever. That he didn’t care how long it took. That you were it for him. You remember how safe you felt with him. How sure.

And now he’s gone.

No. Not just gone. He left. He moved on.

And everyone let him.

You feel like a fool. Worse than that, you feel erased. Like you died and no one bothered to grieve.

Tears burn your eyes, but they don’t fall. You just stand there, frozen.

You can’t stay.

You don’t think—you just move. Out of the hallway. Down the stairs. Through the sliding glass doors and into the warm blur of summer air. The sun is too bright, the sidewalk too loud. It all feels far away.

You raise your hand for a taxi without knowing where you’re going. The driver looks at you in the mirror, waiting.

Your voice barely comes out. “Can you take me to North York? I’ll tell you the address on the way.”

You sit back, still shaking, staring out the window. The city flies past but you can’t follow it. All you can do is hold onto one thought:

I need to see Steph.

—

You stand on Steph’s porch, your breath hitching, the sharp heat of the Toronto afternoon clinging to your skin. The air buzzes faintly — bees drifting lazily between blooms — but the world itself feels unnaturally still. Like it's holding its breath with you.

The taxi had barely stopped before you climbed out. You didn’t look back. You couldn’t.

Beside the front steps, the garden spills over in color and memory — roses, lavender, foxglove. The ones you and Steph had planted years ago, long before life had found ways to unmake itself. You remember the day like it happened this morning: both of you in tank tops and cutoffs, knees in the dirt, hands stained and laughing so hard your stomachs hurt. Steph argued that lavender would bring peace to the house. You swore it wouldn’t survive a Toronto winter.

William had watched from the porch, barefoot, a popsicle melting down his wrist, pretending to be unimpressed. “I’ll never understand why you two would rather dig holes in the ground than jump in the pool,” he’d called, tossing a tennis ball to Mitch.

You’d looked up at him, your hair stuck to your damp forehead, and smiled like he was the only thing in the world that made sense.

That memory used to feel golden. Now it tastes like ash and betrayal. 

The front door opens before you can lift your hand to knock.

Steph stands in the doorway, barefoot, hair in a messy bun, wearing one of Mitch’s oversized T-shirts. 

She doesn’t move. She just stares at you like her brain is trying to catch up with her eyes.

You manage a breath, part sob, part exhale. “Hey...”

But before you can say another word, she screams and slams the door in your face.

You flinch. Just stand there, stunned. You’d come here desperate for something solid, something familiar — and you’d forgotten what it must look like to her. She didn’t know. You never called. No warning. You just showed up, alive and broken.

Of course she thought you were dead. Or worse — something between.

You knock again, softer this time.

The door creaks open, slower now. Steph peers out, her eyes wide, scared in a way you’ve never seen. “…Are you a ghost?” she whispers.

You let out a quiet laugh, shaky but real, and shake your head. “No,” you murmur. “I woke up two days ago.”

For a heartbeat, she just stares at you — as if you’ve cracked open a fault line in the world. Then, without a word, she reaches for your wrist and pulls you into her arms.

You don’t fight it. You sink into her, bury your face into the soft cotton of her shoulder, breathing her in like oxygen. Her hand comes up to cradle the back of your head like she’s anchoring you there, keeping you from floating off into whatever terrible place you’ve been these past few years.

You want to stay like this. You want to fall apart completely. But your pride won’t let you—not yet. You step back, wiping your face with your hand.

“I—I left the hospital,” you manage. “I didn’t have anything. No wallet. No phone. I just... I didn’t know where else to go. Could you—can you pay the cab?”

Steph blinks like she’s waking up from a dream. “Oh my God, yes. Of course.” She brushes a strand of hair behind your ear gently. “Just wait here.”

She runs to the street, taps her phone to the cab’s card reader, and thanks the driver softly for getting you here safely. When she comes back, her face is flushed — with shock, with love, with something wordless.

She studies your face, like she suddenly sees everything. “Oh honey,” she breathes. “You know.”

That’s all she says. That’s all she needs to.

Because it’s written across your face — the grief, the disbelief, the deep, breath-stealing hurt of betrayal. She sees it. She feels it. She doesn’t ask how or why or what happened.

She just opens her arms again.

And this time, you let go.

You fall into her chest, your body shaking as the tears come hard and fast. It feels like you’re still in that hospital hallway, like those words—your husband has a new wife—are still echoing in your head, and you don’t know how to hold yourself up under them.

You don’t know how long you stand there. It doesn’t matter.

Eventually, Steph presses her cheek to your hair, sways a little like she’s rocking you without even realizing it, and whispers, “Come in, Eli.”

You step inside Stephanie’s house, the door clicking softly shut behind you. The air is warm, thick with the comforting scent of roses and lavender drifting in on a gentle breeze. The windows are open, and so is the back porch door, letting summer spill freely into the room. It feels familiar—like stepping into a memory.

Your eyes drift to the couch, where a tiny figure stirs. A baby boy lies curled beneath a soft blanket, his chest rising and falling in peaceful rhythm. He has Mitch’s thick dark brown hair and the same gentle crease between his brows, the same pout on his lips when he sleeps. For a long moment, you just stare, frozen in place.

Stephanie follows your gaze and gives a small, tired smile. “That’s Miles,” she says softly. “Miles Daniel Marner. Just a few months old. I had him not long after... well, after William got married again.”

“So you and Mitch… you guys are…?” you manage to whisper, your voice brittle.

“Yeah, we got married in 2023, Eli.” Her eyes glisten, a flicker of sadness hidden beneath the smile.

“Wow. That’s good. I’m happy for you guys,” you say, forcing a smile even though your chest tightens with a strange ache. You’ve always believed there was no more perfect match than Mitch and Steph. And yet, somewhere deep inside, a quiet grief settles — maybe because you planned to be there on her wedding day, to share that moment, to stand beside your best friend. Maybe because you missed her pregnancy, her journey into motherhood. Or maybe because, for once, you want to be selfish and feel the loss of time you can never get back.

Your eyes blink rapidly, unable to look away from the infant. You try to piece together the timeline, the years you lost pressing in around you like a weight. The baby, so new and perfect—and here you are, stepping out of a past that no longer exists.

Stephanie moves closer, her fingers brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear with the same gentle affection she always showed. “Can I get you something? Water? Juice? Coffee? Anything?”

Your throat feels dry, your voice barely a whisper. “Could you… let my family know I’m here? Tell them I’m safe, but I’m not ready to talk to them yet.”

Without hesitation, Stephanie nods and pulls out her phone, fingers already typing. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

You take a deep, uneven breath, gripping the fabric of your dress as you steel yourself for what’s next. After a brief pause, you ask the question that has burned inside you since you left the hospital. “Stephanie… I need to know. What happened? While I was... gone. The last five years.”

Her face darken with the weight of memories. She breathes slowly, steadying herself before she speaks.

“After your accident…well…William… he was shattered. I’ve never seen him like that before. It was like he lost a part of himself.” Her voice wavers. “I tried to be there for him, but it was so hard. He shut most of us out.”

Steph doesn’t continue right away.

Instead, she lowers herself onto the arm of the couch and, with practiced tenderness, lifts Miles into her arms. Her hand lingers on his back, almost like she’s holding onto a piece of calm. Her fingers tremble slightly, but when she speaks, her voice is steady—measured and honest.

“It was bad, Eli.”

You stay silent.

“After the accident… William fell into this really dark place. Completely shut down. He stopped eating, barely slept. At first, Mitch and I tried to stay with him, but it was like he wasn’t there. He wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t even look at us—just sat in silence, lost. Some days, he’d spend hours at your bedside and never say a word. Just… staring. Like if he looked long enough, maybe you’d wake up.”

You press a hand against your chest. It hurts to imagine. It hurts even more to know you weren’t really gone, just unreachable. Frozen in time while everything around you crumbled.

“There was a stretch,” Steph says softly, “when we thought we might lose him too.”

Your head jerks up. “What do you mean?”

Her eyes meet yours — steady, serious. “Auston found him one night. It was the anniversary of your accident. Will was in the kitchen… and there was a knife on the counter. Aus said maybe it was just for food. But the look in William’s eyes? Scared the hell out of him.”

The air leaves your lungs all at once. The room blurs slightly at the edges. You don’t want to hear this—you can’t picture William like that.

Steph’s voice softens, almost like she’s slipping into a memory. “After that night, we made a plan. Took shifts. Mitch, Auston, his mom—even his sisters flew in. Someone was always with him. We just… couldn’t leave him alone.”

She lets out a quiet breath, her gaze distant. “And it helped. Not right away, but little by little… he started to come back. Piece by piece, he found his way through it.”

“And after that…” your voice is raw, unsteady, “he divorced me.”

Steph flinches. “Yeah. It wasn’t immediate. It took a while. Years, actually. His mom said he kept hoping. But the doctors weren’t giving him hope anymore.”

You close your eyes.

“He stopped visiting you for a bit,” she continues, voice quieter now. “He said it was too painful. Said he couldn’t keep grieving someone who wasn’t allowed to die.”

The words land like a blow — sharp, deep, quiet. You feel something crack in your chest, an invisible fracture splitting wider.

“And her new wife?” you ask, not looking at her. 

Part of you never wants to hear about this woman — but another part aches to know everything. It’s a strange, maddening feeling you can’t shake.

Steph exhales slowly. The baby stirs, sighs, but stays asleep.

“Her name’s Lena. And honestly? She’s not who I expected.” Steph’s voice tightens, a flicker of frustration slipping through. “She’s… too polished. Too perfect. The kind of person who only speaks if she’s sure it sounds beautiful. Like she’s playing a part.” She crinkles her nose, a hint of contempt curling her lips. “She’s a former model, Swedish and works in fashion. They met at some charity for trauma recovery.”

“Trauma recovery?”

Steph lets out a soft, bitter laugh. “Yeah. She lost her fiancé, apparently. William was drawn to her — like they shared the same language: grief and guilt.”

She shakes her head again, but now with disapproval. “Around her, William isn’t... himself. Everyone else seems to like her — they’re polite, they smile — but me? I’m not buying it.”

Steph leans in a bit, her voice soft like she’s letting you in on something personal. “Showed up in all black at their wedding, by the way. Thought it’d be funny. Almost wore a veil too, but Mitch talked me out of it.”

A sad laugh bubbles up from your throat.

You love her for standing up for you — for both of you. Even if it’s messy, even if it hurts. Somehow, that fierce loyalty feels like a lifeline.

A quiet falls, deep and still.

You can’t tell if your tears are hot or cold anymore. They just are, slipping silently down your face as you stare at your best friend, this baby, this house filled with a life that passed you by.

“I missed everything,” you whisper, your voice barely more than a breath. “Every single moment.”

Without hesitation, Steph wraps one arm around you, holding you gently but firmly, while cradling little Miles in her other. You lean into her carefully, conscious of the tiny life resting against her chest.

Steph shifts Miles slightly and, with a soft smile, lifts him toward you. “Here, Eli. Hold him.”

You blink, caught off guard for a moment, but still gently take Miles into your arms. Warmth radiating from his tiny body. At first glance, Miles looks just like Mitch—the same dark hair, the same peaceful expression. But as you look closer, you notice the delicate curve of his nose, the shape of his ears—little features that belong to Stephanie.

Your heart twists with a strange mix of joy and sadness as you hold this tiny life, so full of promise, so full of meaning.

“You didn’t choose this,” Steph murmurs, her voice tender. “You didn’t leave us. The world just… kept going, Eli. I know it’s hard, but you still have so much time.”

She chuckles softly and adds, “Sure, you missed my wedding and all that, and yeah, you didn’t get to hold my hair while I was throwing up in the first trimester like we joked about—but hey, you’re here now.”

You manage a small laugh, the heaviness easing just a little.

Steph’s eyes glisten as she leans in, gently resting her forehead against yours. Her voice is barely a whisper, but it wraps around you like a blanket.

“It breaks my heart that you missed all of it,” she says, her breath shaky. “But you’re here, Eli. You’re holding Miles. You can still be the godmother we always dreamed about, remember? The one who spoils him rotten and teaches him how to sneak cookies before dinner.”

You let out a soft, watery laugh.

“You’ll be there when he takes his first steps. When he says his first word. You’ll be the one he runs to with scraped knees and messy drawings. You haven’t lost everything, Eli. There’s still so much waiting for you. So much life left to live.”

You pull back slightly, eyes meeting hers. “But it’s so hard not to look back.”

She brushes your hair away from your face. “I know. But you can’t live in the past. You have a future too, Eli. And there’s so much good waiting for you. Right here, right now.”

[azzifudd10]

Somewhere To Land

Chapter 13: Across The Hall

Saturday — 3:12 p.m.

Paige stood at her door, fidgeting with the strap of her duffel bag as she looked down at Drew. Her 10-year-old brother wore a neon green backpack, Pokémon Crocs, and a suspiciously serious expression for a child currently holding a juice box.

“You sure you’re not gonna embarrass me?” Paige teased.

Drew gave her a look. “You’re the one who plays basketball for a living. Pretty sure that’s already embarrassing.”

Paige snorted and ruffled his hair.

He shook her off with the intensity only a little brother could summon, then turned to look down the hallway.

“Which one is her apartment again?” he asked.

Paige blinked. “Who?”

“The vet lady you keep texting.”

Paige flushed. “Azzi.”

“Yeah. Her. I wanna meet her. And Eli.”

Paige sighed, unlocked her apartment, and nudged Drew inside with a grin. “You’re relentless.”

“You like her.”

Paige paused, keys still in her hand. “I never said that.”

Drew plopped his backpack down. “You didn’t have to.”

3:29 p.m. — Azzi’s Apartment

Azzi was mid-bottle prep when her phone buzzed.

Paige: Can we come over? I have someone I want you to meet.

Azzi glanced toward the nursery, where Eli was happily babbling to his stuffed llama, and then back at the message. Her stomach did a little flip.

She responded quickly.

Azzi: Door’s open. Come in.

Moments later, she heard the knock anyway. Of course Paige would still knock. Always respectful. Always soft around the edges when it came to her.

She opened the door to see Paige… and a boy.

Bright-eyed. Freckled. Sharp smile.

“Hey,” Paige said, already looking sheepish. “This is Drew. My brother. He’s staying the weekend.”

Drew gave her a chin-tilt that was far too confident for a child.

“Hi,” Azzi said, smiling as she stepped aside. “Come in.”

The second Drew spotted Eli, it was over.

He gasped. “He’s tiny!”

“He’s seven months,” Azzi replied, watching with amusement as Drew immediately crouched down by the playmat.

“He looks like he doesn’t pay rent,” Drew muttered.

Paige groaned. “He’s ten. He thinks he’s hilarious.”

Azzi laughed. “He kind of is.”

4:17 p.m. — Azzi’s Living Room

Azzi brought out apple slices and cheese for Drew, and Paige helped herself to one of the baby yogurt pouches like she was a toddler herself.

“You feeling better?” Azzi asked as she sat beside her on the floor.

Paige looked at her sideways. “Honestly? Yeah. I think sleeping in your bed healed me.”

Azzi gave her a look. “That was a one-time thing.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Paige whispered. “You miss my feet on your sheets.”

Azzi nearly choked on her water.

Drew looked up. “Are you guys dating?”

Azzi blinked. “No.”

Paige at the exact same time: “Not yet.”

Azzi gave her a look.

Paige just smiled and shrugged. “I’m feeling better, what can I say?”

5:03 p.m. — Hallway Between Apartments

After Drew begged for a tour of Paige’s apartment, the trio (plus Eli, now in Azzi’s arms) moved across the hall.

“You two really live across from each other?” Drew asked, eyes wide.

“It’s new,” Paige said.

Azzi looked over at her. “Very new.”

Drew grinned. “This is better than TV.”

7:20 p.m. — Paige’s Living Room

Paige had pizza on the table, Drew was covered in marinara, and Eli had eaten exactly three bites of his mashed carrots before passing out in Azzi’s arms.

“I like her,” Drew said suddenly, gesturing toward Azzi.

Azzi looked up, surprised. “Me?”

“Yeah. You’re cool. And you don’t talk to me like I’m five.”

Paige smiled from the kitchen. “Told you she was the best.”

Azzi’s cheeks warmed.

“You should come back tomorrow,” Drew said. “We’re going to the park.”

Paige raised an eyebrow. “We are?”

“We are now.”

Azzi grinned. “We’ll see.”

10:03 p.m. — Azzi’s Apartment

After walking back across the hall, Azzi set Eli gently into his crib. The baby stirred but didn’t wake.

She leaned against the doorway for a moment, her eyes lingering on the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

Then she heard a soft knock.

She padded quietly to the front door and cracked it open.

Paige stood there, in sweats and socks, holding a blanket.

“I forgot my hoodie on your couch,” she said.

Azzi blinked. “You came back for that?”

Paige leaned on the doorframe. “Maybe also to say thanks.”

Azzi’s heart softened.

“You’re welcome.”

They stood there for a moment. Quiet. Comfortable.

“Goodnight, Azzi,” Paige said softly.

“Goodnight, Paige.”

[sunsuns-babie]

If I Get My Way {K.SUNOO x F!READER}

IN WHICH: Kim Seonwoo aka Sunoo is a Sophomore at Decelis University and has a crush on the pretty Music Education Major Y/n Marsh. Seems like a match made in heaven since he’s also a Music Education Major and has had a crush on her since Freshman year when he met her at orientation… well sort of. He’s a little delusional about her but that’s okay, right? When finally given the opportunity to get to know her and potentially date her some weird things start happening that Sunoo doesn’t quite understand… which leads to the postponement of his grand plan to confess his feelings for Y/n. At the end of the day does he get the girl or does he miss out and think of what could’ve been?

ALSO IN WHICH: Sunoo and Y/n’s friends also have their own storylines and side quest relationships happening simultaneously with theirs.

PAIRING: Kim Sunoo x !Female Reader (ft. Mystery Character 1 & Mystery Character 2)

GENRE: Non-Idol AU, College/University AU, SMAU

WARNING: Swearing, sexual jokes/comments, allusion to sexual activity, attempts at humor (I don’t think I’m funny but I’m trying), jokes about murder/killing oneself, and Danielle from NewJeans as the face claim.

FEATURING: Lee Heeseung (EN—), Jay Park (EN—), Jake Sim (EN—), Park Sunghoon (EN—), Yang Jungwon (EN—), NI-KI (EN—), Jang Wonyoung (IVE), Shin Ryujin (ITZY), Choi Yeonjun (TXT), Choi Soobin (TXT), Choi Beomgyu (TXT), Karina (aespa), NingNing (aespa), Huh Yunjin (LE SSERAFIM), Yoon Keeho (P1HARMONY), Anton Lee (riize), Hwang Yeji (ITZY), and mentions of various other idols.

status: on going

start: Feb. 12, 2024

end:

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and is in no way a real depiction of the idols portrayed in it and has no actual connection to their real world selves. I don’t know them I’m just using their image for characters in a fictional story.

A/N: This is my first SMAU ever I’ve written stories on other platforms in the past and kind of stopped to be a reader for awhile but I recently got an idea for a story and wanted to try and make it a reality. So please forgive me if it’s bad I’ll try my best to make it enjoyable for you. But I barely know how to work Tumblr as a creator or writer so forgive me if this is all over the place 😭😭😭.

A/N 2: If you want to be added to the taglist for this SMAU you can comment on this post or which ever chapter you see first!

INCOMING MESSAGES…

PROFILES: 2 HOT 4 U LONER BOYS CLUB (ft. 2 Baddies)

01: bitch boy

02: you’re not my mom

03: DDEONU GOOD!!!

03.5: bonus chapter 1

04: we going on a date 🤪

04.5: bonus chapter 2

05: free food + written part (755 wrds)

06: blasting Olivia Rodrigo traitor

07: Love changes a man ❤️❤️

07.5: bonus chapter 3

08: keeho is a furry confirmed ✅

08.5: bonus chapter 4 [written part] (1,304 wrds)

09: KILLING MYSELF [POSTPONED]

9.5: bonus chapter 5

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[kinktae]

novocaine pt. 4 || (M)

↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES

Going home was hard – painful even. But falling back in love with Jimin, the boy you left behind? Downright gut-wrenching.

pairing: punk!jimin x reader

word count: 8.7k

genre: 1990s au, exes au, angst, smut

warnings: 90s slang, alcohol, fighting, car sex, oc has dead parents, bittersweet ending

A/N: PLS MAKE SURE REREAD 1-3, I KNOW ITS BEEN A FAT MINUTE BUT PLEASE CONSIDER ALL CHAPTERS WHEN READING THIS ENDING

01 | 02 | 03 | 04

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

PART FOUR (FINAL)

“You’re gonna break my damn neck!” Jimin complained, eyes shutting as you moved his head closer to the shower’s stream.

“Shh,” You giggled, fingers gingerly rinsing your boyfriend’s head. 

Jimin was fully clothed, head thrown over the tub’s edge, insisting that he remain dry as you washed the orange dye from his hair.

Just the other day you had MTV playing in the background as Grams and you were making cookies when the video for The Flaming Lips’ She Don’t Use Jelly came on. You hadn’t heard the song in ages; Hoseok used to belt the nonsensical lyrics religiously on early morning bus rides to high school. But more importantly, you had never seen the music video and became consumed by the lead singer’s tangerine-colored hair. 

It quickly became a topic of conversation between you and Jimin, nudging a shoulder into his side anytime you’d pass by an orange car or a shelf of hair dye. A week of your less-than-subtle teasing had gone by when he finally begrudgingly agreed to dye his hair orange. You were beyond excited, even if he had only agreed to get you to finally shut up.

So here the two of you were, kneeled on the tile floor of your bathroom, random splotches of bleach and dye on your shirts, the sound of The Smashing Pumpkin’s latest CD coming from your room.

“You should be grateful you have a girlfriend that’s willing to dye your hair for free.”

“Is that what you’re doing? I thought you were trying to drown me.”

“Alright, you big baby,” You rolled your eyes, reaching over him to turn off the shower head. “I’m done.”

“Pass me a towel, please?” 

His eyes were scrunched shut, hand flailing about for the towel rack aimlessly. Chuckling, you passed the wet-haired boy a towel, sitting back on your heels as you watched him pat his face dry.

“Here, let me get your hair.” You offered, grabbing the towel back from his face and onto his head, careful to be gentle as you had bleached it earlier today.

Jimin sat obediently, quietly admiring the way you took your time and cleaned the dye-stained skin around his hairline. He loved having your attention; you were always so gentle with him. His chest tightened as you hummed along to the song in the background, oblivious to the splashes of orange dye that had found your cheek.

“Oh my god. It’s hella orange.” You giggled. 

Jimin pulled you onto his lap, partly to help you work more comfortably, mainly because he liked having you close.

“Does it look bad?” His warm eyes peered into yours, sounding somewhat unsure. 

Brows furrowing, you paused to press a kiss on Jimin’s pouting mouth. As if there were any universe in which Jimin looked bad. Seeing as his frown ceased to let up, you kissed him once more, “You look great, Minnie. My little pumpkin.”

“Real convincing.” He glared. Stealing one more kiss from you, he helped you off him and back up off the bathroom floor.

You watched intently as he moved towards the bathroom mirror. You weren’t anticipating him to hate it, but should the situation present itself, you had made a point to buy an emergency bottle of black hair dye, ready to remedy the situation at a moment’s notice. 

Jimin said nothing at first, merely tilting his head from side to side as he ran his hands threw his newly orange, somewhat damp hair. A smile broke across his handsome face.

“It’s actually pretty sick.” He grinned, clearly pleased with the final result. You let out a breath of relief.

“I told you! Admit it, I was right, you look fucking hot. No one ever trusts my artistic vision.” You sighed dramatically, earning you a chuckle.

“Alright, Picasso. Remind me again the plan for tonight?” He rolled his eyes, reaching for the hairbrush he had laid out on the sink counter earlier.

“Well,” You watched as he sorted through his hair, “Hobi left a message saying he scored all of us tickets tonight for the drive-in theater but failed to mention what time or what movie it was.”

Jimin chuckled, “Typical. And you tried calling Hobi’s line?”

“No one picks up. I went and knocked on his door before you came over. The Jungs are out of town so he’s probably kicking it at Gwen’s.” You shrugged.

While you could in theory go and look up Gwen’s landline in the phone book, it seemed like a tremendous amount of work just to locate someone who quite literally lived right next door. He’d show up eventually. He always did.

You sighed, “Man, I can’t believe that old drive-in is still kicking. I thought for sure it went under in the time I left town.”

Jimin nodded, “Nah, it’s still around. But the only people using it are the old folks who were around when it was first built. They’re still playing the same ten shitty movies on repeat.”

“Let’s just get ready and go hunt him down in an hour, yeah?”

And so the two of you spent the next hour readying yourself, Jimin styling his new hair and you waging war against the blue eyeliner Gwen had somehow convinced you to purchase.

It was just around the one-hour mark that you received a call from the very person you had been hoping to find.

“Yo, kid! Come on out, I got two tickets with your name on them!”

Jimin and you ran out onto your grandmother’s driveway eagerly, laughing as Hobi slammed on his car horn melodically, a bright smile written across his face.

“Great timing, we were just about to go break down your door.” You smiled, grabbing the two bright yellow admission tickets that Hoseok had dangling out his car window. “Thanks, Hobi.”

“Where’ve you been, man?” Jimin questioned his best friend.

“Why? You keeping tabs on me, Carrot Top?” Hoseok giggled, eyeing your boyfriend’s new hair. 

“Funny.”

“I’m playin’, it looks fresh, dude. I dig.” Hoseok assured, holding his hands up as if to show he meant no harm.

You rolled your eyes, “Lemme guess, you were at Gwen’s.”

“You kidding? Her place? Her dad’s sheriff— hell no!” Hobi shook his head before a greasy grin took hold of him. “Besides, I’ve got the open crib, a pretty girlfriend, and stamina like a racehorse.” 

Jimin’s giggle was instantaneous, immediately clueing you in on what exactly Hobi was implying.

“You pig. I rang you and knocked on your door!” You scrunched your nose at him.

“Like a racehorse, kid,” Hobi emphasized, only furthering your frown.

“Jeez, okay, got it… TMI.”

“So we ready to watch Jurassic Park or what?” Hoseok first pumped the air.

Jimin’s eyes went wide, “They’re playing Jurassic Park tonight?! Sweet!”

You too were shocked. The film had come out only a few years ago.

“How the hell did that lame-ass drive-in get the license for a film that recent?”

“Got the old lady to pull some strings.” Hobi flashed you both a smug look, reaching over to pop his collar out theatrically.

“So your mom gave you the tickets? Councilwoman Jung sure has pull in this town.”

You were thoroughly impressed. Hoseok struck out in the parents department. Not only did they tolerate his tomfoolery throughout his teen years, but as his mother was on the city council, they were often occupied with work, giving Hobi free reign to do as he pleased as long as he remained out of jail. 

His mother’s words, not yours.

“Oh Nah, I got the tickets myself.” Hobi corrected.

You squinted at him, suspicious, “…Should I even ask how you got these tickets?” 

“Depends,” His voice lowered suddenly, eyes flickering from side to side, “are you gonna snitch?”

“No?”

“I broke into the ticket booth last night and just grabbed a bunch of tickets from the drawer.” He shrugged.

Your jaw fell, “Hobi!”

“Dude!” Jimin burst out laughing. 

“What?!” Hoseok’s eyes went wide, as if entirely innocent of any crime. “Why are we wigging out? It’s not like I stole money from the register! Besides, is it my fault that so many places here are easy to break and enter?”

“Tell that to Gwen’s dad when he finally locks your ass up.” Jimin teased. Your childhood friend tutted, shifting his car into reverse.

“Whatever. You still took the tickets, ungrateful bastards. Your hands aren’t clean either. The movie is in twenty minutes. I dropped Gwen off at hers so she could go get changed so I gotta bounce and pick her back up. You guys need a ride?” 

“Nah, we’ll take my car,” Jimin assured him.

Hoseok began to pull out the driveway, window still rolled down. “Meet up at mine after for drinks?”

“Sure. Thanks, Hobi!”

“See ya later, man!”

The three friends waved goodbye to one another as the eldest pulled out onto the street and drove off.

“Do you really think he and Gwen were busy fucking all this time?” Jimin pondered the second Hoseok was out of earshot, making you scowl.

“I think that Hobi is like a brother to me and if I think about it too much I’ll actually barf.” 

Jimin chuckled, throwing an arm over your shoulder as the two of you made your way to his car.

———

“A medium popcorn, one Junior Mints, and Buncha Crunch please.” You smiled at the concession’s attendee.

You were about 20 minutes into Jurassic Park and could make out the sound of the film as you ordered Jimin and yourself some snacks. He had offered to go make the snack run himself, of course, but seeing as it was his favorite movie playing, you decided that the sacrifice would be yours to make.

Handing over the necessary cash, you moved to the side, watching patiently as the attendant assembled your order. Just then, someone else approached the concession counter. You glanced over at the person not particularly interested, before realizing at once just who the next patron was.

“Yoongi?” You called out before you could stop yourself.

A head of faded mint hair turned towards you, his dark eyes meeting yours, and took on an expression that you could only guess mirrored your own. The kind of expression that can only be shared between two people who had their tongues down each other’s throats not too long ago.

A pregnant pause fell between you. 

“Y/N. Hey.” He breathed after a beat.

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you contemplated your next words, wondering what exactly to say to your boyfriend’s ex. You know… the one you had tried to have sex with.

Thankfully, the arrival of your popcorn and other snacks made it so you didn’t have to respond, a flustered ‘thank you’ escaping your lips as you grabbed your order.

“Uh, two medium sprites,” Yoongi told the attendant once she moved to take his order. You tried your best to look occupied, not wanting to look like you were waiting on the mint-haired boy even though you most definitely were.

Within a minute, he moved towards you, drinks in either hand and a sheepish smile on his face.

“So, uh… this is awkward.” He admitted honestly, joining you as began to walk away from the concession stand, deciding the spare the innocent concession girl from the unfortunate conversation that was about to unfold.

“Super awkward.” You affirmed with a nervous chuckle, hands gripping around your bucket of popcorn.

He nodded.

“Hey, so,” He came to a stop suddenly, halting your stride. “I’m sorry if I caused problems for you the other night. I wouldn’t have… I mean, I didn’t know that you were… We were also both probably way too drunk–”

“No, no, honestly, don’t sweat it!” You were quick to cut him off, not wanting him to assume that he had done anything to make you uncomfortable that night. “I didn’t know who you were either. You seemed cool and hot and, you know… I wanted to. So… yeah. ”

Wow. This just nearly beat the moment Jimin walked in on you two in the scale of awkwardness. At least you weren’t sober then.

Yoongi nodded once more, “Cool. I also wanted to. But, um… listen, you’re a cool chick and all but you should know there’s someone else. Plus, there’s the whole you being my ex’s ex thing…”

Oh god. Was Yoongi… rejecting you? Fuck, he totally thought you were still coming onto him. How utterly humiliating. 

“Yeah, no, gotcha. That can literally never happen again. It’s all good.” You laughed, purely because of how ridiculous this entire conversation was. He grinned back at you, remembering exactly why he liked you in the first place that night at Guyi’s.

“No hard feelings?” He offered you a crooked smile.

“Deal.” You mused, eyes falling on the two drinks in his hand. “So are you here alone?”

You watched in interest as Yoongi suddenly turned a shade of pink.

“No, actually… I’m here with a coworker.” He told you, a certain bashfulness to his tone.

“Oh, a coworker.” A knowing smirk grew.

“I’m kind of seeing him, I guess. I don’t know, it’s too soon for labels.” He shrugged.

“So you’re seeing your coworker. Scandalous.” You teased.

“Again, sorry. If you were literally anyone but Jimin’s ex-girlfriend–“

“Oh, shut up.” You rolled your eyes at his joke, making him laugh.

The sound of various screams rolled over the area, catching both of your attentions, undoubtedly belonging to the moviegoers in response to a scary scene that must’ve just played out.

“I’m not really into dinosaurs,” Yoongi admitted lightheartedly to which you giggled, agreeing.

“Where do you work by the way?” You made casual conversation. “I just realized I never asked.”

“I work at a daycare.” He told you, making your smile drop.

Right. The daycare. 

You supposed that was the thing about ghosts. They tended to haunt you.

Your chest felt hollow once more as he took a sip from one of the drinks. “Not huge on snot and boogers but the pay is decent so who cares, right?”

“Whatever happened between you and Jimin? I mean, why did you guys break up?” You said suddenly. 

It had just made its way out like word vomit, desperate to change the conversation. The last thing you wanted was for him to ask if you were at all familiar with the property.

Yoongi looked at you in surprise for a split second before shaking his head.

“Jeez, how ironic.” He said, mostly to himself.

“Huh?”

“No, nothing I just… it’s funny you asked me that. Because it was you. You were the reason we broke up.” He confessed, bringing the straw of his drink back up to his mouth.

Weirdly, a feeling of guilt washed over you at his words. It rendered you silent.

“At the time it pissed me the hell off. He was dumping me for an ex-girlfriend he hadn’t seen in what? Four years? Took a hit to my ego for sure.”

All you could do was stand there looking dumb. You hadn’t the slightest idea how to react to what he was saying. Part of you was… delighted? Happy that Jimin wasn’t as dedicated to that relationship as you feared he might’ve been. But another part, a much more prominent part, felt awful. Terrible that you had hurt Jimin so deeply that he couldn’t even commit himself to another person. That he couldn’t move on.

“But anyway, it was for the best. Weirdly he did me a favor. No point in being hung up on a guy who was still hung up on the past.” Yoongi paused suddenly, scrunching his nose as he shook out his mint locks. “Dammit, I sound like such a cliche bitter ex, huh?”

“At least you’re not the shitty ex who broke his heart.” You offered half-heartedly.

Yoongi stared at you for a moment, allowing himself to freely admire the girl who had captured Jimin’s heart all those years ago. Despite your otherwise neutral expression, there was a gloom around you that he couldn’t quite ignore. 

He pressed his lips together, wondering if he could offer you any solace.

“If it makes you feel any better, there’s no guarantee it would’ve worked out even if you had stayed.”

Your head tilted in confusion. Yoongi stole a piece of popcorn cheekily, popping a piece into your mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you told me yourself that night. You’re a city girl. You would’ve wanted to go see the world eventually and everyone knows Jimin has no plans to ever leave this tiny ass town. Maybe you just got the inevitable over with. So don’t beat yourself up over it.”

You were suddenly acutely aware that Yoongi had no idea that you and Jimin were back together. A wave of nausea rolled over you as you considered his words.

He was right, of course. You had always dreamed of making it out of here. Even when you were young and running down the halls of your grandmother’s house, your adventures took you far away, towards weather unlike your own, towards faces and cities you’d never recognize. 

So what was it that you were doing now? Getting closure by opening up a chapter with Jimin you had closed years ago?

Jimin was the boy who had his kids' names picked out when he was in elementary school. He was the boy whose biggest dream was remodeling his parents' home so that it would one day fit his own family, the family that he wanted to start here. He was the boy who looked for you months after you went missing, and who ended a relationship because he was unable to let go of the past. He put his life on hold for you. And who was to say he wouldn’t do it again when you left?

Your feet felt heavy as if you were sinking into the dirt of the drive-in lot, crushing guilt piling onto you.

“Hey.” A voice called out, making both Yoongi and you turn to face whoever was trying to grab your attention.

It was Jimin. Of course, it was. You had gotten caught up in conversation, taking far too long to get snacks. It was only a matter of time that Jimin would head over to check in on you. His hands were tucked away in his jeans, expression unreadable as he eyed the two of you from where he stood.

“Oh. Hey.” Yoongi replied, eyebrows pulling up in surprise. His surprise was quickly replaced with confusion as Jimin walked over, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he took the snacks from you, always the gentleman.

“Sorry, I took so long. We bumped into each other and lost track of the time.” You explained awkwardly to your boyfriend through warm cheeks.

“I see that.”

You could see the way Jimin’s jaw was tense as if swallowing back words that weren’t exactly pleasant. You almost see the puzzle piece coming together in Yoongi’s mind as he looked at the two of you interact.

“Well… it was nice seeing you again. Good luck with everything.” You waved Yoongi goodbye, already heading back where Jimin had set up the car, eager to walk far from the second most awkward situation the three of you had found yourselves.

“You too.” You heard Yoongi called back, a note of disbelief in his tone, one that you forced yourself not to dissect further.

———————

You did your best to keep your eyes on the screen ahead of you, but the tension in the car was palpable. Jimin was taking those sharp short breaths through his nose like he always did when he was angry. You licked your dry lips.

“You’re upset.” You broke the ice.

“No, I’m not.”

You tilted your head against the car seat’s headrest, facing your troubled lover.

“Yes, you are.” Your tone took a soft timbre. “You’re doing that angry sulky thing you do.”

“I don’t sulk,” Jimin said, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.

“Minnie, you sulk.” You chuckled but failed to receive a chuckle back in return from him.

You straightened up in your seat.

“Nothing is going on between Yoongi and I.”

“I know.” He said.

Your brows furrowed at his words, “Okay. Then is it something else?”

Jimin said nothing, eyes pressed against the movie screen but clearly not paying attention to the film at all. You sighed.

“Can you roll your window up?” You asked. Your boyfriend met your eyes curiously, seeing that you had done so on your side before complying and rolling his up.

The second his window was up, you were unbuckling your seat belt and maneuvering yourself across the car and onto his lap.

Pressing kisses onto his neck, you felt as he noticeably relaxed, a soft sigh falling from his pillowy lips.

“Talk to me.” Your mouth traveled onto his jaw, kisses sweet and reassuring.

“I love you.” Was his breathy response, hands gripping to sides of your thighs, pulling you closer to him.

He couldn’t say how insecure seeing Yoongi made him feel. He didn't know how to say that if you left him once, what was to stop you from leaving him again? If he wasn’t good enough to make you stay all those years ago, what would be different this time?

“I love you too, Minnie.”

His hand found the side of your cheek, drawing your mouth into his, kissing you with intention. 

You pulled back suddenly, “Wait, this isn’t talking.”

“Don’t wanna talk. Just wanna touch you.” His voice was lower than usual.

Your face flushed at his honesty, unsure of whether to press further. Ultimately you gave in.

“Okay.” 

Your fingers curled into his t-shirt, tongue finding his, heavy breaths filling the small space of the car as you lost yourselves in each other.

Breaking the kiss with a groan, you pulled up at your shirt. You nearly laughed at the way Jimin had already begun to tug at your bra clasp before you had even successfully removed the garment from you. 

The lacy bra fell down your body, tossed aside mindlessly as he pressed a kiss onto your chest, hand working your soft flesh. You let out a breath as he sucked the supple flesh into his mouth, thumb rolling over your pert buds.

“Wait, drop your seat back, I don’t want someone from another car seeing.”

Jimin nodded, leaving your chest to comply with your request. Immediately though, his hand found the back of your neck, pulling you towards him and into a kiss.

Making out in Jimin’s car was admittedly nostalgic — the two of you having spent many afternoons fooling around whenever you got the chance. And maybe that's what the two of you were going for, slipping back into each other in a way that came naturally.

You rolled your hips into his desperately, every inch of you buzzing at the way you could feel the way he had hardened underneath you.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He muttered as his thumb lolled over your sensitive nipple. You whimpered.

The sound took him back to the night of the bonfire when he had buried his head between your angelic thighs that night of the bonfire, your greedy fingers tugging at his scalp as you cried against the feeling of his tongue.

Fuck, he was hard.

His hand reached down to undo his jeans in desperation, the pressure of his strained cock in his thigh jeans too much to bare. His actions caught your attention, your teeth finding your bottom lip as you watched the anguished boy reach into his underwear and readjust himself. 

Suddenly, his mouth was on yours again, hand angling one of your thighs so that he could grind his hips against it. 

You were getting far more worked up than you anticipated, his hot mouth leaving marks across your exposed skin. You needed more of him.

“Do you wanna fuck me?” You asked innocently, hand pressed against his abdomen.

“Fuck yes.”

“Hm...”

Your hand dipped into his underwear, eyes glimmering in mischief as you pulled his cock out, wasting no time in working the shaft. 

“Fuuuuuck.” Jimin’s voice was drawn out and pleading, chest rising and falling in rhythm to the pace your hand had set around his cock.

“Does it feel good, Minnie?” You cooed teasingly, sucking a bruise into his pretty neck.

You preened as his hips suddenly jerked up, a whine pushing past his swollen lips before he cleared his throat.

“You’re gonna fucking kill me. Sit on my cock already.” He begged.

You smiled into his skin, head moving back up to kiss him as you ran your thumb over his red tip, swallowing his moan.

“You feel so good in my hand though.”

You weren’t lying. Hot, engorged, and pulsing under your fingers, his cock was truly a fine piece of craftsmanship. If it weren’t for the cramped location that was the front seat of his car, you would’ve had your lips wrapped around him, using your tongue to remind yourself of every vein and ridge.

“I promise I’ll feel even better inside you.” He groaned.

“What’s the rush? I don’t remember you ever turning down a handjob.”

“And I don’t remember you being such a fucking tease. Clearly, things change.” He tutted.

You frowned at his tone but allowed one of Jimin’s hands to push its way between your legs and down your underwear.

You stifled a noise as he ran his fingers up and down your slit.

“Oh, love bug, you’re so wet. That for me?”

You fought back a blush, somehow still flustered at the way Jimin’s dirty talk after all these years.

“You got yourself this worked up over touching me, yeah? Fuck.”

A shutter ran through your body, pleasure running over you as he toyed with your clit. Your hand fell from his member altogether, finding leverage against his thigh as you pushed yourself closer to his feathery touches.

Your hips moved on their own accord, mouth opening as a silent moan tumbled out.

“Bet that feels so good, huh? So cute.” He praised, pinching one of your cheeks.

“Now whose teasing?” You pouted. 

A whimper escaped you against your better judgment as his fingers suddenly made their way down, spreading you open as he lightly pressed against your entrance.

“Acting so tough but losing the act as soon as I touch you.” He placed a kiss against your head, spurred on by the way you had suddenly become pliant and placid under his touch. “You're practically sucking my fingers in.”

You weren’t certain if the whine that greeted him in response was from his words or the way he pulled his hand back every time you tried to sink onto his fingers.

“Please.”

“Sorry, angel. I’m not gonna finger fuck you. Just gonna sit here and play with what’s mine.”

Jimin was not usually particularly possessive but god was it hot.

If his fingers hadn’t immediately moved back to roll over your clit, you might have had the energy in you to complain, but instead, you found yourself plaint in his arm, thighs trembling.

“I’ll... shit... I’ll cum if you keep that up.”

“Bummer. Guess there won’t be any need to fuck you then.”

“Dammit! Just fuck me, Minnie!”

“Hm... I dunno, I think I’m going to need a little bit more convincing before I do–“

“Oh, please, please!” You were rambling before he could finish his sentence. “Fill me up, Minnie. I need it so badly. I can take it I promise.”

“H-Holy fuck, okay. Dirty fucking mouth. Come here, baby.”

And just like that, you pushed yourself back up onto your knees, moving to hover over Jimin’s painfully erect cock. 

Your boyfriend’s hands cradled your hips as you aligned the two of you, kneading the soft flesh tenderly.

“I love you.” You promised as you sank down. He threw his head back as you fell into the rhythm that felt as natural as breathing with him.

“Damn right you do, you're my fucking girl. Mine.”

He loved the way you moved with him - loved the way you felt like the piece he was missing. He loved everything about you and couldn’t help but shower you with praise as you rode his cock, wishing he could give you more than just car sex. He felt helpless near you, nowhere near as confident as he came across. You were spectacular in every single way, smiling as you leaned over to kiss him.

——

“Tell me about New York City,” Jimin ran his fingers down your arm.

The two of you had long forgotten about Jurassic Park, now reclothed and cuddled up in the back of his car.

You raised an eyebrow, “Honesty? It’s loud and dirty. Not to mention traffic is shit.”

“That sounds… terrible?”

“It is,” You breathed, “But it’s not. It’s the perfect place to disappear. No one gives you a shit about what you’ve got going on, no matter how fucked up you feel. Everyone is just trying to deal with their own chaos and get through the day.”

“Sounds kind of lonely.” He muttered. You hummed in contemplation, wondering how it was that you felt just the opposite. It was weirdly comforting to know that no matter your story, those in the city had seen worse.

“Did you know that when you’re deep in the city, there isn’t a single star in the night sky. Not a single one.” You recounted.

Jimin tilted his head, “What do you mean there are no stars?”

“It’s like they’ve all gone missing and the sky is just this massive empty black hole.”

“How can there be no stars? Where do they go?” He laughed.

“My theory? The city needs so much power to run that they had to steal every star from the sky above them… Though I’m told it’s something called light pollution that just covers the stars.”

“I like your theory better.” He smiled.

You turned towards the massive screen, watching as dinosaurs wreaked havoc.

“There’s a complex above the bar I used to work at. They have a rooftop that you’re not technically supposed to access but everyone does anyway. At night you have the most perfect view of the city skyline. The sky is just this hazy gray color but the further out you look, the lights from the surrounding buildings start to look like little stars sprinkled on the ground. I’ve always thought of it as New York’s version of the night sky. Like looking at the world upside down. It’s just… spectacular.” You marveled.

You could still see it so vividly in your mind, how the empty sky glowed and the buildings twinkled.

“You’ve always had stars in your eyes,” Jimin said suddenly, eyes fixated on you. You turned to meet his gaze.

“Hm?”

There was an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face, “Do you remember the first night we met?”

You blinked, taken aback by his abrupt question.

“Hoseok introduced us. Second year of high school. Homeroom.”

Jimin shook his head.

“Do you remember the last home football game of our freshman year?”

Freshman year? Football game? Yeah, you remembered that.

“I mean, yeah. That was before I decided I hated school functions and only wanted to hang out with social rejects and lowlives. First and only high school football game I attended. Why?” You pondered.

“You and Hoseok were standing on the top of the bleachers. I think the two of you were trying to figure out how to climb the announcer building without dying or getting caught.” Jimin went on to recount.

“Oh, snap! I remember that! We did it, too. I remember it took me ages to convince Guyi to come climb up. Hoseok got a bunch of kids to come and join us… You were there?”

Jimin nodded at you, also remembering the way you and the thick-framed girl were close back then.

Jimin actually remembered much more than that. He recalled almost vividly how he and a few friends were called to follow the rowdy boy he knew from history class and how he led them through the bleachers and toward side the side of a building. There were two girls sitting on top already, the louder of the two turned around and waved at the newcomers, before turning back towards the sky, legs stretched out in front of her as she chatted with her best friend.

The other girl you were with, which he would later learn was Guyi, was sitting away from the edge, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she shivered at the night’s chill. She looked uncomfortable and he could hear her muttering about wanting to go back down but you insisted that the view of the stars was better where up here, leaning back on your palms as you faced the night sky.

He was taken by you immediately and spent the rest of the time on the roof glancing your way in hopes even just a quick peek of how the twinkling lights reflected off your irises.

You were all he could think about, even as the principal came screaming at you guys to come down. He thought of you as his older brother Jihoon drove him back home, silent in his seat as he stared up at the very same sky that captured your attention. He thought of you throughout that following summer and the very first day of your sophomore year, when he finally worked up the courage to tell Hoseok how he felt, leading the more extroverted boy to introduce the two of you.

And he had loved you ever since. Even now he loved you, eight years later, sat on Hoseok’s couch as you and the people you grew up with all played a drinking game, the movie since wrapped up, and the function heading back to Hoseok’s place.

He watched as you smiled and laughed with the others and imagined a world in which this could become your guys' new normal. Where every day could be just like how things were and he could just love you as easily as breathing.

But real life was never as easy as fantasies. Real-life consisted of messes and trauma and hurt feelings; there was no glossing over the past four years. And the more Jimin drank from his cup, the harder it was to keep up this game of pretend the two of you agreed on. One day you would have enough and you would leave him again. 

He knew this was temporary - he agreed to it after all. He had kept you in this town despite how much he knew it hurt you to be here. Truthfully, as he sat on the couch getting far more inebriated than he should’ve, Jimin was angry. Perhaps with himself, perhaps with the world, perhaps with both — it didn’t matter in the end. 

Because every day with you meant waiting for the day you would leave and what was he to do but keep on loving you?

He felt helpless.

“Where did you go?” Were his words as you sank back next to him on the couch, having been eliminated from the game taking place at the coffee table. Hoseok, Gwen, and a few other familiar faces were still sitting around it, laughing and joking with one another drunkenly.

“Huh? What do you mean? I was sitting right there.” You giggled, glancing down at the cup of liquor that Jimin had in his hand. “Don’t tell me you’re still a lightweight, Minnie?”

He was boiling, and the words were spilling up and over faster than he could make sense of.

“Where were you, Y/N? I tried to find you I– You left me.”

Something was wrong. You could hear it in his words, and see it in the way his glossy eyes threatened to spill over. He brought his cup back up to his mouth, taking a large sip. You took it from him the second you realized just how drunk he was.

“Hey, that’s enough… let’s go outside, okay? Get some air.” You were up on your feet in an instant, eyes flickering over to the group to see if anyone had heard.

“You left me,” Jimin repeated.

“Jimin. Please.” There was a desperate look in your eyes, clearly not wanting to have this conversation with other people present.

Blinking away the lump in his throat, he got up from the couch and followed you out of the room, slipping through the sliding glass door onto the patio.

The patio door shut with a quiet click, the chill of the cold night greeting you both.

“How did you just... pack your bags and leave it all behind? Leave us behind? I thought you loved me.” Jimin wiped away at his cheeks blindly, unsure of when he started crying. 

“I did— Minnie, I do.” You tried your best to keep your voice level, growing emotional at the topic at hand and at the man you loved hurting.

“Was I not enough of a reason to stay?”

Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly as you struggled to answer him. You, just like him, were intoxicated and nowhere in the right state of mind to be having this conversation.

“I mean, fuck, love bug! You just left!” His voice pitched up in disbelief, clearly not aware of his volume raising as well. 

You were trembling. Though from the cold or the guilt you weren’t sure.

“I-I know, I-”

“You just left and never came back? This is your home–”

“Don’t fucking say that!” You snapped, surprising both you and Jimin.

A tsunami of emotion crashed into you.

“My parents are dead, Jimin. And I know you get it, I know you lost your brother but… Minnie, I couldn’t breathe! I-I felt trapped, and… god, after they died— it was me who was dying. Yes, I was wrong to leave but I was young and hurting and.. I just couldn’t let this town kill me too.”

Your hands found your face, covering it as a wave of melancholy rushed over you. 

“I was supposed to be in that fire. I ran off to Grams because of a stupid, meaningless fight with my mom. After they died, I spent an entire year wondering if I shouldn’t have just died right there with them.”

You couldn’t bear to look up at Jimin. You couldn’t bear to see the pity in his eyes as you laid out the worst of you for him to hear.

“The second I stepped out of this town was the first real breath of air I had taken since they died. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life but I know that this town stopped being my home the second they died.”

Any and all anger had melted away from the orange-haired man.

“Y/N–”

You looked up suddenly, frown furrowed and eyes blurry with tears.

“I don’t need forever. I just need right now, okay, that’s what you said to me the night of the bonfire. You said that, remember?”

“I remember.” He sounded sorrowful.

“I love you, Minnie. I never stopped loving you. But they’re gone.” You mourned, breaths uneven. “And they’re everywhere I look in this town. I mean… why can I come back but they can’t? How is that fucking fair?!”

You were nearly inconsolable, watery eyes barely widening as your face was suddenly taken into Jimin’s hands, his thumbs brushing past your wet cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You’re right. I’ve already asked so much of you. This town has taken too much.” His eyes searched yours. “I... I wish you would’ve told me. When they died… for a year you said nothing. I thought you needed your space so I gave it to you, but I never would have if I knew you were planning to leave. What if I could’ve helped? You helped me when we lost Jihoon, remember?”

“I know...” Your answer was lackluster. Because you didn’t have an answer for him. You didn’t know why you pushed away those who loved you when your parents first died.

Was it teenage naivety? Was it fear of losing anyone else? 

You wished you could give the sweet boy a solid answer. But you weren’t even sure that sober you could. God, he deserved so much more than you had given him.

“It was you and me against the world, remember? Through all the shit and garbage life throws at us. You were my person. You still are.”

“I just… there is so much out there, Jimin. So much this small town can never offer. If you only saw the cities, the kinds of people that come in and out.” You emphasized, suddenly inspired.

“What if… what if you come with me.” Your voice was small, knowing the impossibility of what you were asking him.

His eyes told you the answer to your question he even spoke.

“Bug, I… My family needs me here. Everything is here… I don’t know if I can just leave. This… this is my home.” His brows fell, rubbing your cheek apologetically.

“I know. But I can’t let you put your life on hold for me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I strung you along for another four years. When I leave I don’t want you holding onto me. You deserve to move on and find a life here like you’ve always wanted.”

“The life here that I always wanted was with you.” Jimin cried, pulling you into him. 

You buried your face into his neck and for a moment the two of you just held each other and cried.

“I’m sorry.” You said, knowing that neither of you could do this anymore.

“I’m sorry, too.” He held you tighter.

The game of pretend had drawn to a close and neither of you had won.

—

Your grandmother was awake and doing a crossword in the kitchen when you walked back home later that night without Jimin.

“Hi, darling.” Your grandmother greeted, only noticing the way your hair stuck onto your wet cheeks once you came into the kitchen light. 

“Oh, bless your little cotton socks, come here.”

She held you as you cried — she cried too, knowing that this meant goodbye in more ways than one. 

She slept in your bed that night, holding you close in a way that she did for your mother and that your mother once did for you. There was so much you could never repay your grandmother for. You’d spend the rest of your life calling her from every city apologizing if that's what it took for her to forgive you for choosing to leave once again. But even if hadn’t told your grandmother you were leaving, even if she didn’t help you pack your bags that very next morning, she would forgive you because all she ever wanted was for you to follow your heart. 

The same heart that had her drop you off at Jimin’s the next day.

Your knuckles rapped a somber tune onto his door, the sun pleasantly hitting on your skin, very polar opposite to how cold your insides felt.

You could hear a scuffling from inside the shed, suddenly embarrassingly aware of how little soundproofing Jimin’s room had. Thank goodness it was far from the main house.

“Y/N?” Jimin called out, the door handle turning. 

Panicking, you gripped the handle, holding the door shut.

“Wait! Don’t open the door.” You warned, not exactly sure what came over you.

“Why? Bug, what’s wrong?” Jimin sounded concerned but let go of the handle regardless.

You fought with your thoughts for a moment.

“I can’t... If I see your face I’ll...”

You were a coward. You swore this time you wouldn’t just disappear, you had seen the pain you had caused him. But even still, even when you came to tell him you were leaving, you couldn’t bear to see his face. You could not see the face of the man you loved so much and tell him you were leaving him. You just couldn’t. 

You didn’t feel strong or brave or anything Jimin insisted you were. Hand pressed against the closed door to Jimin’s room, you felt small and pitiful, far from someone who should be asking what you were about to do.

“I’m going to say something. It doesn’t need a response now, okay?” You called out, loud enough so he could hear.

You swallowed roughly, your throat dry. “My bus ride back home is today. Noon.”

Silence fell.

Your heart was pounding in your throat, nearly blocking out the words you had spent all night rehearsing.

“If you don’t show up, I’ll go. And I won’t come back. I mean it. I want you to move on. You have to try. Don’t give up your life for me.”

Jimin was just on the other side of the door, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, having just rolled out of bed. You didn’t explain yourself further, and perhaps you didn’t need to. He mulled over your words in his head. 

If he didn’t show up, you’d hop on the train and slip out of his life forever. 

“But if you show up...” you trailed off as if losing your nerve. But he understood all the same.

If he showed up to stop you, you’d stay. 

You knew he could never physically ask you, but if he wanted you to stay, you would. Just seeing him would crumble your resolve and you’d stay with him here forever, even if it killed you.

“This isn’t a test or anything.” You said after a moment as if the thought came to you suddenly. “I know you love me. You don’t have to prove that to me.”

His shoulders sank, realizing what you were asking of him. 

“I just... I didn’t give you a choice last time.”

Your words wrapping around Jimin like an old shirt— warm but ill-fitting.

How many nights had he dreamt of you saying those exact words? How many times had he pictured the night you left going different, with you telling him your plans of leaving and him convincing you to stay? Nothing would’ve changed and you’d go back to spending every night tangled up together and every day in his passenger seat, window cracked and wind brushing past your hair as you sang along to one of his playlists.

All he ever wanted was to go back to loving you like he used to. Loving you and imagining the life the two of you would build here.

“I-I’ll stay here and… and love you and figure out all my emotional garbage. I won’t leave you again.” Your voice was shaking. “If you ask me to, I’ll stay.”

Tears found Jimin’s eyes. 

From the moment he met you, way back in high school, you had talked about seeing the world. You had big dreams that couldn’t fit in this tiny town. You were larger than life and he always knew to an extent that he have to spend the rest of his life running in order to catch up to where you were.

He just never thought you’d run further than he could go.

Don’t give up your life for me, you had said as you offered to do exactly that for him.

He saw the spark behind your eyes whenever you spoke of the city. He saw the way you turned into a shell of yourself at old memories. He would break his own heart ten times over before he would ever keep you here. 

But you would break your own heart ten times if it meant you could save his heart from breaking again. Because if he wanted you to say, you could try to be happy here. Maybe you could try to be happy and try to be with Jimin and try for a nice ordinary life. You wouldn’t stay for you but you would stay for him. 

Because you loved him far more than you loved yourself.

“If this is goodbye, then just know that… I love you. And I’m sorry.” 

Sorry was all you could ever feel in this town. Sorry for all the hurt you caused and the mess you always left behind. Sorry for yourself and the life you would never get back. Perhaps it would’ve been better if you had turned down Jimin’s advances that night at the bonfire. More likely it would’ve been better if you hadn’t come back at all. 

But the one-sided conversation through Jimin’s door was your best attempt at undoing a fraction of the hurt you had caused him, however pathetic it was.

——

You were standing amongst a crowd of moving bodies, watching anxiously as other buses began to board.

“He might show up.” You muttered to yourself. “It's not too late, he might show up.”

“Darling!”

You heard your grandmother call out, and you scoured the crowd before finding her, a breath of relief finding you. She had driven you to the bus station and left momentarily to use the bathroom for a moment — you feared you might have to board your bus without seeing her again.

“They just called for my bus.” You said the second she was within earshot. She looked around with you, watching as a line began to form in front of your bus. But your eyes wandered further, looking past the line, past your bus, and Elvie knew at once who you were looking for.

“You don’t have to go, you know.” She placed a hand on your cheek, pulling your attention back onto her.

“I know…” You nodded back at her, biting on the inside of your cheek.

“…But you want to.” She acknowledged. You were her blood after all. And no time apart could undo the way she knew her grandchild.

You met her eyes regretfully, guilt written all over you.

“I’ll call you every week.” You promised.

She pinched your cheek, “Even every month would do. I will miss you greatly. And I love you dearly.”

“I love you, Grams.” You pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Stay safe, darling.”

The two once estranged family members shared one final hug before the final call for your bus rang out. Shooting the bus station one final once over for a shade of orange, you waved your grandmother farewell and joined the line, boarding and sitting on the bus within a few minutes.

Elvie stayed at her spot for ten minutes, watching as the bus drove off and took her grandchild with it, waving goodbye even when you were too far to even see her.

A tear ran down her face as she clasped her hands together, hoping that you might find whatever you are continuing to search for.

A man joined her just then, emerging from behind the wall where he had been hiding, yanking off his grey beanie to reveal a bright mop of orange hair.

“There you are. Thought you were going to stand behind that wall forever.” Elvie acknowledged him, wiping away her tears.

“Sorry... And sorry to bombard you while you were on the way to the bathroom. Did you manage to slip it into her bag?” He asked.

“Of course I did. She was too busy looking for you to even notice.” Elvie reassured, watching as Jimin stared off in the direction you had left.

Jimin wasn’t sure when you’d find it, but eventually you’d find the black cassette tape he had dedicated to you all those years ago.

“It’s a playlist I made of all the songs that remind me of you.”

If it weren’t for you rummaging through his car, the tape would’ve continued to slip his mind— a forgotten relic forged from the time in which he swore he would never see you again. Carefully selected songs forming a cacophony of bitterness, longing, anger and sorrow.

After you left him this morning, Jimin lay across his bed, listening to your mixtape for the first time in years. An emotional time capsule in the form of plastic film and faded sharpie. He remembered vividly what every song meant, he remembered every raw unfiltered feeling he held for the last four years.

He held onto you for so long.

"Thank you for giving that to her."

“I have to ask… I mean, you showed up. You could’ve given her that mixtape in person. Why hide?” Your grandmother pressed.

“I had to see her. But I knew if she saw me she wouldn’t have left, and she would’ve continued to hurt herself just for me.” Jimin’s eyes welled up with emotion. “She deserves so much more than that, even if she doesn’t see it yet.”

Because you were the girl with stars in her eyes and big dreams and he was just the boy who loved you just enough to let you go.

------------------

THE END and before you yell at me, please respect my artistic vision EEEEP!! I love these characters and want what is best for them and the only way to do that is to honor the life that both truly deserve, even if that means it's not a life with each other. I thought long and hard about how to end this series, just putting that out there bc I know a bittersweet ending can be disappointing. AAHHH ILY MWAH! <3

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Lightning On My Lips (Every Time You Kiss Me)

1 - Boys Are Too Easy

Pairing: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgia Tennley

Rating: Explicit (I just label everything this because I know I can't help adding swear words at the least.) so MDNI please!

Warnings: Mentions of sex, alcohol consumption, blood, and sort of graphic description of Tyler getting his ass handed to him by a bull.

A/N: It's going to take me forever to post everything on Tumblr but here's the very first of it all! If you click on the title that'll take you to the Masterlist and I linked to my Spotify for this fic below as well. You can still read everything on A03 and Wattpad as well.

This first chapter is just a really quick overview. Don't want to spend too much time in the past for these two! As always Italics are for emphasis, internal thoughts, or dreams/past memories!

Playlist

“Well howdy there, pretty thang . What brings you here all decked out in sparkles?” Tyler Owens asked, as he removed his chaps while sitting atop the panels looking down the chute. 

“Stick around, pretty boy , you'll see in a minute.” Georgia Tennley said as she pushed her hat down a little tighter and patted the buckskin painted mare beneath her. The mares's ears flicked back and forth as she saluted the bull rider before kissing to the mare and heading down the chute toward the open gate. Tyler stood up, nearly losing his balance as she breezed past him and all the other bull riders perched on the fence. 

“ Next up representing Stillwater, Oklahoma, the Pink Princess, Georgiaaaa Tennley!” The announcer said, gaining wild cheers from the crowd. Tyler watched carefully as she made neat turns around the first two barrels and then around the third, she threw her head down, her hand forward, and urged the mare to kick it into high gear heading for home. A clean run. The fastest time of the night so far. 

She flew past the bull riders again and Tyler watched as the mare took her damn near to the next town before she could get her stopped. Georgia patted the mare and rubbed on her neck and scratched the top of the mare's head and ears as she trotted around the sandy parking lot proudly. She walked the mare for a few more moments before hopping down and that was when Tyler decided to get down off the panels too. He made his way through the maze of the chute system and came out just in time to see which trailer she was headed to. As he walked up to her, his spurs jingling, a smirk crossed her lips. 

“Learn anything, pretty boy ?” She asked, un-cinching her saddle and pulling it off. It was only her saddle in between them.

“Yeah. If ya feel it, chase it.” He said as he leaned down to kiss her. It surprised her no doubt, but she kissed him back, equaling his lust. 

🌪⛈️🌪

Georgia awoke the next morning to a strong, tanned arm around her waist and warm breath tickling the nape of her neck. It was the middle of summer and the windows were open in the living quarters of the trailer, were she had a good old air mattress for a bunk. The air was hot and humid. She checked her phone for the time. 4:03. She felt slightly dizzy as she glanced at the cute bull rider she'd invited in for drinks last night. Clearly things had gotten out of hand... oh, yes, they certainly did ...as she lifted the sheet to find both of them naked underneath. She could smell his sweat and felt his skin sticking to hers as she shifted to lay on her back. He made a small noise as he stirred and it made her giggle. He opened one eye halfway as a sly grin crept across his lips.

“You sure are adorable in the mornin’, darlin’ “ He said, voice gravely and deep, his blue-green eyes becoming apparent in the dim light. She could've sworn they were brown last night, but who gives a shit. They definitely fucked, but Georgia was a little disappointed that there was nothing memorable enough to cut through the haze of alcohol. 

“And you're awfully flirty.” She whispered back as she attempted to escape his arms. His grip tightened, making her smirk. She propped herself up on her elbows and glanced over at him, her dirty blond hair falling over her one shoulder, bangs into her eyes. Tyler reached up and brushed the hair from her eyes and behind her ear. There was a small but satisfied smile painted across his lips as he left his fingers to brush over her cheek.

“My, my, what have we done?” He asked softly, stretching up to press a kiss to her lips. She hesitated this time, borderline resisted, not because she didn't want to, but because she wasn't sure how far she wanted to let this go. She knew nothing about him. She only knew his name.

“Well, you did follow me. ..” Georgia pulled away and he pouted, letting her leave. She had a feeling he got attached easily. Thinking back on it, did he even know her name? He should've...they'd announced it. 

“You didn't have to say anything to me. Coulda just run on down that alley without so much as a tip of yur hat.” He said, his eyes following her very pretty, very naked form down the ladder where she disappeared for a few moments before popping back up and smiling at him. 

“And why the hell did I do that?” She mused, throwing him his shirt and boxers before going to the small kitchenette. They hit him in the face and he couldn't help chuckle to himself as he dressed. He climbed down the ladder and threw his jeans on. They were damp from last night, remembering he'd spilled some beer on them as things got heated. He wondered for a moment how much she remembered...

“Uh...y'know, maybe we should...get to know each other a little better?” He asked, as her eyes flicked to his. She watched as he zipped his jeans, noticing how nicely they hugged his ass, and other parts.

“You think so?” She said, putting a pan out on the single stove top. She turned the heat on, buttered the pan, and cracked some eggs in it. Tyler pursed his lips as he stepped toward her. He fiddled with his hat for a moment before placing it atop his head. 

“I gather you don't...” He said, disappointment evident in his voice. Georgia had finished the eggs and took two plates down, placed some eggs on each, and handed him one. She took a bottle of water out of the pack on the tiny counter and placed it at the table for him. He sat and she placed a fork on his plate and sat across from him. She glanced at him before diving into her eggs. He didn't know why, but that first bite was the best bite of eggs he'd had in a long fucking time. 

“I'm Tyler...Tyler Owens.” He said before taking his next bite. He caught her smiling as she chewed and swallowed her food and then she said, “Yeah that’s one of the only things I remember from last night.”

“Oooh. that’s harsh, darlin’. I couldn’t been that bad.” Tyler said as he finished his food. Georgia shook her head and smirked again as she also finished. She silently took his empty plate and began to wash it off in the sink and then dried it, and repeated that with her own, all the while Tyler watched her. 

“Didn't say you were bad. Just said I don't remember much from last night. I haven't had that much to drink in awhile. I don't even remember what time we came in here and started drinking.” Georgia said. A corner of Tyler's lips crept up in a grin again.

“I reckon it might'a been around six or seven. You took care of your mare and I followed you around like a wild stallion.” He said, chuckling deeply. Georgia decided she liked his laugh, and his smile. It was fascinating how it reached his eyes everytime. He looked genuinely happy every time he smiled. He didn’t seem to have any ill will or bad intentions and that was a rare quality among people these days. Tyler didn’t seem selfish. 

“Christ on toast...” Georgia murmured and Tyler nearly spit out the sip of water he'd taken. 

“You got a lot of those weird sayings. They're cute.” He said and she tilted her head questioningly. 

“What?” She asked and he chuckled again as he took another sip of water.

“You kept saying funny shit last night. Had me dyin’ over my beer. No one's ever made me laugh that much for that long.” His smile was infectious. She leaned back against the counter top and folded her arms across her chest, details fuzzy but flooding back. 

“ Oh, fiddlesticks...” Georgia said as she dropped her phone and nearly dropped her drink. Tyler deftly saved her beer and roared with laughter. 

“You’re silly when you’re drunk.” Tyler said, a wide smirk across his lips as he handed her back her beer. She leaned closer to him and giggled. 

“I’m not drunk, pretty boy.” She slightly slurred her words and he took his opportunity to press his lips to hers, to which she returned the kiss.

“If you say so.” Tyler said, placing his own beer down and reaching around her waist. She was just beyond buzzed, but not drunk enough for it to inhibit her decisions. “Is this okay?” He asked and she answered by cuddling up as close as she could, while wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. She left it up to him to decide where this went next.

She had made him laugh, and he made her laugh. He hadn't been acting either. He genuinely thought she was funny and that flattered her more than anything. Their eyes met again after a few silent moments, and Tyler stood then. He tipped his hat to her.

“My next rodeo is the Kansas State Fair...” He said softly and she nodded.

“How fortuitous. Mine is too.” Georgia said, stepping closer to Tyler. They were only inches away when he reached up to run a finger across her cheek. His gaze was longing for something more than she could give him right now, so she hoped he could settle for what she had to offer. 

“I'd be mighty grateful if I could hitch a ride. I’d like to spend a little more time gettin’ to know you, and I’m kinda hopin’ that you feel the same.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. He was not surprised when she agreed. He leant down to press his lips to hers, so softly that she thought she imagined the feeling. So he stepped out to grab the rest of his things from his beat up old truck, then helped her check the hitch on the trailer and off they went. The Kansas State Fair was in a week, so they would have plenty of downtime to get to know each other in between.

⛈️🌪⛈️

  Six Months Later

Georgia had worked her way up through the ranks to the 1D barrels, the top division at each rodeo. And Tyler competed against some of the top guys in the sport. Together they were quite the pair. Most of the time they used her truck and trailer, but Tyler helped pay for diesel and he helped drive. It was the least he could do. Besides riding, Georgia also did photography for the rodeo circuit. That was how she paid for her entry fees and food. She hated having to scrape by but she wanted this so it had to be done. She also helped coach a few other racers on the side and helped school some horses. Occasionally, she swapped in for a header or a heeler in the roping for anyone who needed it. Tyler on the other hand...Tyler took odd jobs while on the road. He could fix trucks and trailers, he'd do stalls and operate tractors and dozers and whatever the rodeo needed. So, neither of them could afford a fall or an injury.

Well that was inevitable, especially in the two professions they were in.

While at the Oklahoma State Fair, Tyler drew a particularly difficult bull that had been known to give a hard and wild ride Not many could stick eight seconds, let alone half that. The bull bucked hard all the time and he twisted while he was in the air, which made for a difficult and uncomfortable ride. Most bull riders ended up off of him not because of how hard he bucked but because of how much he twisted and hurt their back while doing so.

Tyler lowered himself onto the bull’s back, and for the first time in a long time, he had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He waved for the gate to open and he was surprised at the force the bull put out as they flew through the air, bucking and spinning. Tyler held on for about six seconds and then the bull got too close to the chute, spun into it and hit Tyler’s leg on the metal panels. It distracted him just long enough for the bull to jostle him out of place and dump him. Tyler flew off, toward the panels, hitting his head and bouncing off. The bull was still raging and charged him, stepping on him in the process and tossing him back into the panels again. Screams could be heard from the stands.

Georgia covered her mouth in a gasp and she felt weak, like all the blood had drained from her entire body. She hopped off her mare and threw the reins at her friend who was sat next to her. She climbed over the panel tops, through the cattle chutes and alleyways to try to get to the main alley, where an ambulance was already going through.

When she got to the alleyway they already had Tyler on a backboard with a neck brace and he had blood dripping down his forehead and his left ear. He wasn’t conscious. Georgia tried to make it through all the bull riders and ropers that had crowded around him but she couldn’t get to him before they shut the doors. She ran down the chute and yelled to her friend to please take care of her horse. She was going to take her truck and follow the ambulance, when one of the rodeo clowns stopped her and asked to jump in the truck.

“Hey, I’m Boone. I’m Tyler’s best friend.” He said and hopped in the passenger side. Without questioning, Georgia drove off, behind the ambulance.

“So you’re the one he’s always textin’. Thought he had a girl at home, but then I wondered why would a girl be named ‘Boone”. That’s a very guy name.” Georgia figured, keeping her eyes on the road. They both laughed, lightening the mood if only for a few moments. 

“Yeah we met at one’a his first rodeos and just hit it off. He told me he’d finally met a lady and he couldn’t wait to introduce me. Too bad we’re meetin’ on such shit circumstances.” 

“Me too, Boone. Nice to meetya, nonetheless.”

[evigh3t]

you’re   not   from   around   here   ,   are   you?   i   figured   because   you   totally   just   missed   SØREN   HOLMSTRÖM   walking   by.   don’t   tell   me   you   don’t   know   who   HE   is   ?   they   kind   of   look   like   NIKOLAJ   COSTER   -   WALDAU   and   i   could   be   wrong   but   i   think   that   they   might   be   FIFTY4   years   old   right   now.   they’ve   been   living   in   palmview   for   the   last   TEN   YEARS.   and   i   don’t   know   if   anyone   has   ever   told   them   this   before   but   they   kind   of   remind   me   of   GOMEZ   ADDAMS   from   THE   ADDAMS   FAMILY.   if   you   stick   around   the   town   long   enough   you   might   catch   them   in   action   working   at   SEAGLASS   HOSPITAL   as   a   ORTHOPEDIC   SURGEON.   you   see   this   town   isn’t   really   that   big   of   a   place,   some   folks   like   to   call   them   the   GIRL   DAD   of   palmview!   they   took   a   liking   to   the   name   too   after   a   while,   go   figure.   oh   crap,   they   must   have   heard   me   yapping.   they’re   coming   this   way.   i   got   to   warn   you   though,   rumor   has   it   they   can   pretty   SENSITIVE   at   times.   i   wouldn’t   take   it   too   seriously   though,   from   the   times   i’ve   spoken   to   them   they   seemed   pretty   NURTURING   to   me.   we   see   each   other   all   the   time   since   they   live   in   that   4   ROOM   apartment   beside   me   over   in   EMERALD   POINT. 

  CHAPTER ONE     :          STATS .

name :         søren nils holmström .         nicknames :         älskling ( by sigrid ) .         age :         fifty4 .         gender  +  pronouns :         cis  man  +  he / him .         sexuality :         straight .         birthday :         march 3rd 1971.         languages :         swedish, danish, english, mandarin ( badly ).         address :         # 532 pacific drive.       

CHAPTER TWO     :         SOUNDTRACK .

01.         this charming man — the smiths .         02.         wishing — a flock of seagulls .         03.         run to you — bryan adams .         04.         hounds of love — kate bush .         05.         advice for the young at heart — tears for fears .        

CHAPTER THREE     :         STORY .

𝓲. søren   holmström   was   born   from   nothing   less   than   fairytale   love.   his   mother   was   from   denmark,   but   every   sunday   a   handsome   man   from   sweden   stopped   by   her   flower   shop   in   copenhagen   and   stayed   just   a   little   bit   too   long.   they   quickly   married,   and   the   news   of   a   new   arrival   came   soon   afterwards   —   søren   came   into   the   world   like   a   burst   of   light   and   has   illuminated   the   dark   corners   in   people's   lives   ever   since. his   father   moved   to   denmark,   and   they   lived   as   a   comfortable   family   unit   through   his   childhood.  𝓲𝓲. an   intelligent   and   driven   young   boy,   søren   always   knew   that   he   wanted   to   help   people.   it   sounded   cliché   whenever   anyone   asked   —   and   family   members   would   talk   amongst   themselves   about   how   the   holmström   boy   wanted   to   make   the   big   bucks   —   but   he   wanted   to   take   away   pain   and   stitch   lives   back   together   again.   a   love   of   anatomy   books   followed   him   through   school   and   all   the   way   to   college.   after   an   exhausting   placement,   he   took   a   fellowship and commuted   to   malmö   every   morning for the next step in his career. 𝓲𝓲𝓲. he   supposed   that   it   was   fate   when   he   saw   her.   the   face   of   a   woman   straight   out   of   a   magazine.   when   he   saw   her,   søren   almost   fell   to   his   knees   —   a   goddess   walking,   a   beautiful   thing   that   almost   glowed.   how   could   he   have   ever   walked   away ?   for   the   next   few   months,   søren   brought   bouquets   from   his   mother’s   shop   to   the   café   where   sigrid   worked.   once   the   annoyance   faded,   sigrid   had   no   other   option   but   to   agree   to   a   date. 𝓲𝒗. and   when   she   folded,   things   moved   quickly.   she   got   pregnant   fast,   and   there   was   only   ever   one   option   for   søren   when   he   saw   those   two   lines   on   the   test.   his   fellowship   at   the   hospital   came   to   an   end   and   immediately   he   hung   up   the   stethoscope   to   support   his   girlfriend.   his   intention   had   always   been   to   help   people.   he   still   was,   but   instead   of   people   it   was   his   own   family.   supporting   sigrid   and   marrying   her   was   the   second   most   natural   thing   in   the   world.   the   first ?   well,   he   found   out   the   moment   his   daughter   came   along.  𝒗. fatherhood   became   his   everything.   for   the   first   few   years   søren   stayed   home   to   allow   sigrid   to   study,   taking   awkward   ad - hoc   shifts   at   the   hospital   to   fund   their   living   costs.   when   signe   started   school,   he   applied   and   gained   an   orthopedic   consultancy.   the   next   ten   years   moved   by   easily   —   the   scandinavian   dream   —   until   a   letter   arrived.   they   wanted   dr   holmström   in   palmview.    guilt   ate   him   alive,   and   the   invitation   stayed   on   the   mantlepiece   until   sigrid   found   it.   she   paid   back   the   favour.   it   was   his   chance   to   want   something,   his   chance   to   grip   life   by   the   horns. 𝒗𝓲. a   decade   on,   and   søren   spends   most   of   his   time   with   his   wife   and   daughter,   taking   walks   along   the   promenade,   and   working   in   his   home   study.   now   that   signe   has   flown   the   rest,   there's   a   hole   where   his   daughter   had   once   been   —   a   pit   that   he   isn't   quite   sure   how   to   fill.   but   he   tries   anyway. 

CHAPTER FOUR     :         CONNECTIONS .

𝓲. sigrid holmström — wife . 𝓲𝓲. signe holmström — daughter . 𝓲𝓲𝓲. open — colleagues . 𝓲𝒗. gianna yun — patient .

[smartzelda]

Walking Through the Twilight

By: SmartZelda

Summary:

You wake up in an unfamiliar world to you. Hyrule. With no memory of how you got there and why you're there, you join along with Link, the hero chosen by the goddesses, to save Hyrule and to hopefully recover your lost memories.

Rating: Teen

Category: f/m

Fandom: The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess

Relationship: Link/Female!Reader

Additional Tags: Pretty boy Link, Reader-insert

Words: 8,514, Chapters: 4/?, Language: English

Posting Date: 03-01-2019

Link to Fic:

[Any commentary, thoughts, additions, etc from me is under the cut😊]

Hiya down here! So this was the very first fanfiction I ever posted publicly. Potentially, I had originally written it for Wattpad in 2018; however, I had gone on to rewrite the first couple chapters a few different times to flesh them out a little better. So by the time it was time to backdate this fic on ao3, the earliest timestamp I could find was the very last time chapter 1 had been edited by me on Wattpad (in 2019). I apparently neglected to actually post or link to it on tumblr, so this is the reason for my posting it now.

I want to say when I originally wrote this I was really invested in this one reader insert Super Mario fic on Wattpad lol (the author of which went on to write a sequel and a f!reader/Luigi fic I had loved at that time too)

In any case, as of today (10-19-2024), this fic is on indefinite hiatus. I have many times thought about continuing or rewriting/overhauling this fic, but at this time I do not know if I will or not (maybe if I can get invested in it again or there is enough interest). So, for the foreseeable future, Walking Through the Twilight will be preserved (unfinished) in its original form.

[believeintheruin]

03-10-25 Carnival Au

Not really much to update on but it's Saiou day so I gotta say SOMETHING

Cupid and I spent like. All day (like 5-6 hours) beta-ing each other's fics today. Which was very fun and you should all get real real goddamn hype about his secret project cuz its SICK. But yeah he deffo had his work cut out for him with my 13k thing. I'm sorry Cupid you're amazing Cupid.

Unfortunately, there's a pretty lengthy section he had to call me out on for being lazy with (he's absolutely right) so I gotta go back and actually spend the time smoothing it out like I should have in the first place before this piece will be ready. So no Carnival Au for Saiou day sadly. BUT! I will be sharing Shuichi's file tomorrow (not today, go look at my pretty merm art today I'm real proud of it). So you'll have that to look forward to!!! And hopefully I'll have Carnival Au out by ~Thursday? Ish? Work's gonna be hell the next two days so we'll see. But we're SO CLOSE. I do think this probably means there is no way in hell I'm getting chapter 4 of Poor Unfortunate Souls done in time for May because I'm just. Slow. Which ngl I'm feeling really sad about but I'd rather it be good than on time so. It'll be ready when it's ready! But frankly crazy productive day despite the fact that I've had a wicked tension headache all day amongst some other aches and pains. (My body trying to take me out) I'm feeling real tempted to do a little drabble before I fall asleep just cause I wanna actually celebrate the Saiou boys on this their day to be celebrated. So if I do, y'all will see it in the next hour or so. And if not thank you to everyone in this fandom for loving saiou and posting beautiful art of them! It makes my heart grow three sizes!! And shoutout to @kiwi-luminaryofthestars despite being new here, you've done so much to boost my inspiration the last several months of you being active. I haven't been this productive with making content in ages and it's truly delightful to have your energy around here! Wishing you all a wonderful saiou night<3

[plumsfromyouricebox]

Fic Update Day!

🌞🛹🌴🍕

“What was your ex like?” Max asked as Mike lined up a shot.  He faltered mid-backswing. It had come up in passing last week that he’d gotten out of a long-term relationship before he’d moved, but he hadn’t expected her to follow up on it.  “Uh… sweet, I guess.” Ping. “Quiet, when you first meet her, but she just has the biggest heart.”  “Huh.”  “What?”   “Nothing I just– I didn’t think that was your type.” Ping. Max watched her ball bounce off a rusted bumper and turned to look at him. “A blushing rose.”  Mike chuckled, a familiar warmth spreading through his chest as he thought about El. “Oh, she has thorns like you wouldn’t believe. She’s… actually pretty fearless. Doesn’t really give a shit about authority.”  Max raised a brow. “A woman of contradictions.”  He stepped over to the next ball. “I guess you could say that.” Ping. “You’d like each other, I think. You’re both… different.” 

–a powerful and luminous explosion of a star, chapter 4: surfer boys & skater girls

a powerful and luminous explosion of a star (16172 words) by Plumsfromyouricebox Chapters: 4/13 Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: Mature Warnings: Underage Sex Relationships: Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Mike Wheeler Characters: Mike Wheeler, Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Argyle (Stranger Things), Ted Wheeler (Stranger Things), Karen Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler, Will Byers, Eleven | Jane Hopper Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Season/Series 03, Mike Wheeler-centric, Mike Wheeler Needs a Hug, Fluff and Smut, Teen Angst, Denial of Feelings, Sexuality Crisis, Recreational Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Bisexual Mike Wheeler, Slow Burn, three stoners running a pizza place Summary: By the time he got his things in his locker and tracked down his homeroom, Mike was already a few minutes late, which meant that everyone stared at him as he stood awkwardly at the front of the class, including a familiar, pretty redhead smirking from the back row whom his eyes landed on immediately. He averted his gaze, painfully aware of how sweaty his palms and armpits were becoming. God, being the new kid sucked. *** Heartbroken, traumatized, in the throes of a sexuality crisis… and now he’s moving across the country?! Mike Wheeler going through it, starting over, and coming out the other side. Updating every 3 weeks on Thursdays

[yuriko-mukami]

Ecstasy Writing Process...

Updated: 09/10/2023

The first draft of the main story finished on August 20th, 2023, and the special chapter October 9th, 2023

📖 Word count: 44 133

📖 Library scene count: 6

📖 Smutty scene count: 4

📖 Biting scene count: 6

📖 Cover art: Needed

📖 CG edits: 1/2 done

Prologue - final version done

Ecstasy 01 - final version done

Ecstasy 02 - final version done

Ecstasy 03 - final version done

Ecstasy 04 - final version done

Ecstasy 05 - final version done

Ecstasy 06 - final version done

Ecstasy 07 - final version done

Ecstasy 08 - final version done

Ecstasy 09 - final version done

Ecstasy 10 - final version done

Epilogue - final version done

Brute End - final version done

Manservant End - final version done

Vampire End - final version done

After Story - final version done

Special - the first draft written

17/07/2023: I made this post for myself to follow the progress of the story. And now, I can't but laugh since with two chapters written we already have two library scenes... That's Ruki and Yuriko for you. 🤣

19/07/2023: Three chapters in, three libraries visited. Oh my, these two... 😅 Jokes aside, it's so nice to write Elizabeth and Yuriko's interactions but also Ruki and Shin's bickering.

24/07/2023: Oh boy... I felt bad when I had to write another Laito scene. Such a disgusting moment but I think it still serves the story. But I can't wait for writing sweeter scenes between Ruki and Yuriko later...

27/07/2023: I haven't been able to write as fast as I hoped, but I'm still making progress. There are so many tiny things I need to fit into this that I start to regret I decided to follow the game structure. I need to think if I want to do that in future stories or if should I simply make my own structure for those...

Also, I ordered two CG edits yesterday, instead of one. Now, I need to decide which chapter will get one. The other goes to the After Story.

28/07/2023: I hoped I would have reached Ecstasy 10 by today but I guess that was a bit high goal. Still, I'm happy with these results. And damn, I enjoyed writing Ecstasy 08 today.

31/07/2023: Oh my... It was so much fun to write Ecstasy 09 too, even though the chapter isn't happy at all. But I think Yuriko has great moments there. Poor Ruki though...

31/07/2023 || Second Note: I managed to write Ecstasy 10 and start Ecstasy Epilogue. Of course, there is still a way to go with all the endings and the After Story... but I begin to have my skeleton version here. I'm rather positive that the first draft might be finished in August. Of course, there are editing rounds to come but still... I'm pleased about this.

02/08/2023: I wrote both Brute and Manservant Ends... and oh boy, that was quite a trip. Prepare yourself for a yandere Ruki. Now, I only have Vampire End, After Story, and Special chapter left before it's time to write all the smut scenes~ My reward is almost here! 💙

03/08/2023: I finished the first draft of the Vampire End. Huh, that was quite a roller coaster. The text is terrible at the moment though, such bad writing... but since I'm going to edit the story anyway, I don't mind it at this point.

Also, my goal was 30 000 words for this story but I guess I will go past that since I reached it already and there are still things I need to add. Like all smut scenes.

04/08/2023: OH MY GOSH! The story's first draft is pretty much finished. Only the smut scenes are missing from the main story.

I will work on the special story a bit later since it won't be released on Tumblr but in the ebook version of the story. So, the next project is to scribble three different types of smut scenes. 😏 The fourth and last one will be at the end of the special chapter.

09/08/2023: Haa... I have such huge writing urges but I got an unexpected job offer for three weeks and now I'm all stressed out and tired whenever I have free time... 😢 I should stop saying yes to these odd job offers, I guess... since I already have the job I love. But I'm bad at saying no... Buuut I managed to start the first smut scene! I hope I have the energy to finish it tomorrow or the latest at the weekend.

12/08/2023: I just finished the first smut scene of the story... and I think it's the dirtiest one so far in the whole His Possession. 🙈😳 The next ones won't be this dirty I think, since they serve different purposes for the story... But gosh, I rarely turn into a blushing mess because of my own writing but this... We'll see if I edit it milder or not... 🫣

17/08/2023: Finished the second smut scene. So now, there is one to go for the main story (there will be one in the special chapter too). Soon, I can leave this story in Ruki's admin's care. Though... tbh, it might still take a while since I have been so damn tired after work. Writing has become slow and difficult because of this. But I'm trying my best. I want to publish this story by the end of this year.

20/08/2023: The main story is finished. 🥳 I will write the special later, but everything else is now drafted. Of course, there will be a lot of editing and I might even add scenes here and there but mostly the story is now formed.

Anyway, the next step is to give this in @ruki-mukami-dl's hands but I'm positive that everyone else can read it before this year ends. So, look forward to that.

09/10/2023: I got the special chapter back from @ruki-mukami-dl today. I still need to make some fixes in it, but it's mostly done. It will be published only in the ebook version of the story. But it will bring almost 20 pages worth of extra content. The chapter will be in Ruki’s point of view, and it can be rather triggering for sensitive people. But it surely was interesting to write together with Ruki’s admin 💙

Other than that, I'm making the cover for the printed book on the weekend. So, the ebook's cover is on its way, too. Then, just one final CG edit and everything is ready for November. Ah, I can’t wait to share the story!

[jtl-fics]

Some "Pretty Boy", for this week?

WIP Wednesday 2/28/24 (CLOSED) | Pretty Boy

Andrew rolls his eyes as if he had anything to do with Aaron agreeing to do the haunted house. Katelyn had been there when Renee had asked everyone to help with her charity haunted house. She was only asking them since it was unaffiliated with a church, just something she was doing as part of an outreach program she was working with this year.

Katelyn had looked at Aaron and said, "Oh it sounds like fun!" and Aaron had agreed without a single bit of critical thinking in his head. Andrew had at least considered it before asking if there were behind the scenes things he could work on.

Renee had agreed to that so he and Neil weren't actors like the rest of the Foxes were but did still need to dress up scary.

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol14 Part 4

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2 | Vol10 Part1 | Vol10 Part2 | Vol10 Part3 | Vol10 Part4 | Vol11 Part 1 | Vol11 Part2 | Vol12 Part1 | Vol12 Part2 | Vol12 Part3 | Vol13 Part1 | Vol13 Part2 | Vol13 Part3 | Vol14 Part1 | Vol14 Part2 | Vol14 Part3 | Vol14 Part4

That's it! The final chapters and thoughts beneath that! AAaaah.

Chapter 8: (I'm having more image space now with one chapter so..uh...just me nearly posting every image in this one)

The biggest mystery in Trigun: HOW did they get a photo of Vash with all black hair and HOW??? did they get a photo of Knives?? I just have to assume they either have really good painters or maybe just painted black hair on Vash's old photo...and...someone made a photo of Knives moments before his death. Poor sucker.

Black hair Vash with his hair down looks so...so...so agh! So young! And vulnerable! And actually pretty good but also so cuddlesome and wow that hair looks soft. Every hair-era of Vash gives me different vibes, and this one especially has something super soft/melancholic...it's after his widower era (which is half-black hair) so it's a settled and accepted sadness but it's also post-trimax so it's also a hopeful atmosphere? Hope that explains it??

Also he's just super cute like this.

Also, hello there interesting bit of information that totally slipped past me on my other reads.

Egg Plant Dome...what exactly is this? I think that happened in ch6 when the feathers and plants fell down. Is this something the plants created, like a shell for the whole city? (don't wanna live underneath, it must be like a big oven during the day)

What a moment

(Oh they are talking about the wound Knives inflicted on Vash! When they fought and while Knives stabbed him, Vash protected them both from Chronica) There's something so meaningful about Knives, who thought himself above all humans, pleading them to save Vash's life.

What a way for the antagonist of the story to go. It doesn't end with violence, it ends with a silent thank you, with him protecting one last time what is dear to him and choosing his own (inevitable? Vash lives on. So could he have lived on if he wouldn't have created the tree?) end.

Just saving these because we're getting more cute Vash faces here.

Of course Vash finds an exit directly at the spot of his pursuers. And cute salamander thing!

Salamander and Vash do not approve.

IT'S HIIIIIM

The image of Vash with a wig, fake teeth and a fake beard is really entertaining. But really, was that ever an option for him? An option at least he'd be satisfied with?

Meryl & Milly! (Don't wanna forget Milly!) Aaaw and directly back to bantering!

Hehe love that face

awww and he would have loved to be fighting his way out of messes with these two together!

Vash was utterly betrayed in this moment.

Can we get a character song where Vash sings this in Stampede, please?

24h live emergency broadcast? Phew boy Vash is not getting ANY rest.

Many familiar faces! That one older boy, I wondered if that could be Kaite from the sandsteamer? And nice to see that the guy Vash and Wolfwood beat the shit out of at Lina's is still holding up to his promise and protecting the place now (and serving drinks as it seems). Then of course Livio!!! Being at the orphanage, next to Wolfwood's grave...I'm sure he's protectig them like nobody else could, being the best big brother to them all they could wish for. (I have to say I loved his short hair look but long hair works too) And we can spot Chronica...the Nebraskas and Brad and Luida! And, I love the way Vash starts from being exasperated to running to laughing. Has he missed this? Maybe!

Running into the far horizon....

And we're here, throwback at one of the very first pages of Trigun with the same line "And the same song of humanity still sang".

What an ending, huh? I really liked the ending..it's kinda started like it has begun, with Vash running away again. A bit like a circle, but in a way, that's the theme. Because at it says "the same song of humanity still sang" - some things don't change, humans will always be humans and will always hunt Vash down for the bounty (with the extra now that there are a lot that do LIKE him and want to know what he's at, knowledge which Meryl and Milly can provide). It's such a dark and serous manga, and to end on such a light note, with a really humour-filled last chapter, to me it transports the feeling of hope. The first time I read this it moved me so much. And it made me tear up not because of sadness, but because the ending is so hopeful, so good despite everything that happened! And the fact that Vash manages to get back up again, running and smiling, while he suffered so so much throughout the whole series...isn't that a wonderful thing? To not lose your smile after all that? Isn't that the most difficult thing maybe, and he still manages?

I wanted to add some final thoughts about the manga, but I don't really know where to start? I don't have any specific thoughts, and if I get, I might make an extra post...but I just want to say how much I love this series. I read it around february the first time and was instantly flashed. It turned out to be a completely different story than I had expected. It turned out to be very confusing at times (esp. because I read the Dark Horse translation which sometimes lacks in context in the dialogues) but I STILL loved it to bits. And it's maybe now one of my favourite series if not the. It's hard to compare different mangas and series, but when I'd had to decide for one where the theme moved me the most, is interesting, where the characters feel alive and tangible, where everything feels so round and like a story that was exactly written down as the author intended and not a bit shorted or altered, where you can feel the passion in the art...man it's just this one. That doesn't lessen the impression other series have on me, but it just means that this one stands out SO much that I can always go back to it and will always love it. And, when I said it turned out completely different than expected, I especially refer to the ending. And I also want to point out what I pointed out in a post earlier, about Vash having to kill somebody, about the fact that I don't think this story is supposed to preach us any moral, any higher ideal...it just tells us that nothing is easy, people are complex, decisions are complex and fucked up stuff happens. And despite all that, you can STILL choose kindness. It's a story that sounds like it's being told exactly like it happened. Nothing is put in a better light, and the bad guys are not put in an extra bad light.

What we take from that is up to us.

[stariekis]

that boy is mine.

enhypen — yang jungwon

DISCONTINUED

synopsis : a boy with pretty eyes and dimples caught your attention the other day. you liked him, like a lot, and your friends are willing to help you with that ! but does he like you back ? would that unknown but pretty boy that you met end up being yours like you want him to be ? ...

pairing : uni students jungwon & uni student fem reader. genre : social media au (will have written chaps too) + fluff + crack and comedy ! no angst i swear 🫵🏻 cw : insults, tons of bad words and more i will add in a future.

characters : all enha members + newjean's hanni and minji + illit's minju, moka and yunah (other characters might appear later on!)

note¹ : hihi babies ! i finally decided to start a smau i'm soso excited omg :D but i have quite a few things to say tho — 1. updates won't regular, i'm a uni student and u have tons of things to do so do not ask or expect regular chaps ... 2. it's quite a short smau (10-15 chaps maybe ?) ! and 3. pls remember that it's all fiction if you don't like it just scroll <3 and that's all, hope u guys enjoy ~ sending tons of kisses !

+ tag list is open ! pls send an ask if you want to be added

started 11 . 03. 2024 (on going) ended stba !

𖹭 — characters : xoxo gossip girls | RDA (riki's dad association)

𖹭 — chapters : EP 1. i need him. | EP 2. girl ... | EP 3. matching and everything | EP 4. does he looks like a cat ? | EP 5. the meeting (1) | EP 6. the meeting (2) | EP 7. emergency meeting 🚨 | EP 8. okey superman | mtba ...

[theadamantium]

Harri's Picks for 2023

John Wick: Chapter 4

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Saltburn

Barbie

Poor Things

The Iron Claw

Anatomy of a Fall

Maestro

The Flash

Blackberry

The Last of Us - Season 01

Daisy Jones & The Six

Ted Lasso - Season 03

Beef

Only Murders In The Building - Season 03

Måneskin - RUSH! (ARE U COMING?)

Fall Out Boy - So Much (For) Stardust

Inhaler - Cuts & Bruises

The Struts - Pretty Vicious

Hozier - Unreal Unearth

Blink-182 - ONE MORE TIME...

Post Malone - AUSTIN

Teddy Swims - I've Tried Everything But Therapy (Part 1)

Greta Van Fleet - Starcatcher

Olivia Rodrigo - GUTS

U2 - U2:UV Achtung Baby Live at Sphere

Hozier - Eat Your Young Pop Up Tour

Muse, Evanescence & One OK Rock - Will Of The People Tour

Fall Out Boy - So Much For (Tour) Dust

Dermot Kennedy - Sonder Tour

Baldur's Gate 3

Marvel's Spider-Man 2

Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

Super Mario Bros. Wonder

Hogwarts Legacy

[enzenwriting]

the feeling when

Summary: Joining an already debuted group, you find yourself at the centre of attention, controversy and a series of unfortunate chaotic events every time a certain pup boy is in the sight. But Jake Sim can’t seem to stop following you?!

Pairing: Idol Enhypen!Jake (Sim Jaeyun) x Idol fem! reader (feat. enhypen+ le sserafim + other idols)

Tags: stranger to lovers, enemies to friends, friends to lover, kinda slowburn, jealousy, idols!, slice of life, angst, fluff

Warning: probably alot of cursing, dry humour, stalking in later chapter, alot of typo and no proof read writing.

Status: new- ongoing

upload schedule: once/twice a week during weekend!

taglist: open!

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is a work of fiction! Any idols (and activity) written and mentioned in this story/AU is not to be associated with the real idols. All images used in this AU are not mine! All images are accessed through the internet (google, pinterest, instagram, twitter and tumblr!)

Author’s note / AN: i kinda really enjoyed writing adore you! ;(idolxidol trope simp) so I’m back with another!🫶

00 y/n home wrecker / ain’t no dispatch

01 criminal

02 welcome y/n!

03 for shit and giggles

04 fearless gang

05 koala guy?

06 this is mcdonald drive thru

07 yeri-fication

08 stand up! sit down!

09 early downfall

10 JAKE OUT

11 omg by newjeans

12 just unknow it duh

13 always bball time

14 maybe he is the problem

15 delusion and silly thoughts

16 oovoo javer sim jake 1.6k words!

16.5 bark lee

17 divorce lawyer 4 u

18 two pretty best friend

19 a runner a track star

19.5 n in nct stands for nosy

20 🛫Australia 🛬Canada

21 it’s been 21 years

22 important question

23 gaslight manboss mainslayer

24 adopt! don’t shop!

25 chivalry my ass

26 hey dumb dumb

27 end game kinda meh

28 jungwon (derogatory)

29 withdrawal

30 fuck Jim!

31 big girl duties

32 JAIL (literally )

33 crazy ahhh behaviour

34 Jake’s drip

TBA