#I cannot let it end already
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Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol14 Part 4
Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2
Trimax: Vol01 Part 1Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2 | Vol10 Part1 | Vol10 Part2 | Vol10 Part3 | Vol10 Part4 | Vol11 Part 1 | Vol11 Part2 | Vol12 Part1 | Vol12 Part2 | Vol12 Part3 | Vol13 Part1 | Vol13 Part2 | Vol13 Part3 | Vol14 Part1 | Vol14 Part2 | Vol14 Part3 | Vol14 Part4
That's it! The final chapters and thoughts beneath that! AAaaah.
Chapter 8: (I'm having more image space now with one chapter so..uh...just me nearly posting every image in this one)

The biggest mystery in Trigun: HOW did they get a photo of Vash with all black hair and HOW??? did they get a photo of Knives?? I just have to assume they either have really good painters or maybe just painted black hair on Vash's old photo...and...someone made a photo of Knives moments before his death. Poor sucker.

Black hair Vash with his hair down looks so...so...so agh! So young! And vulnerable! And actually pretty good but also so cuddlesome and wow that hair looks soft. Every hair-era of Vash gives me different vibes, and this one especially has something super soft/melancholic...it's after his widower era (which is half-black hair) so it's a settled and accepted sadness but it's also post-trimax so it's also a hopeful atmosphere? Hope that explains it??
Also he's just super cute like this.

Also, hello there interesting bit of information that totally slipped past me on my other reads.
Egg Plant Dome...what exactly is this? I think that happened in ch6 when the feathers and plants fell down. Is this something the plants created, like a shell for the whole city? (don't wanna live underneath, it must be like a big oven during the day)
What a moment

(Oh they are talking about the wound Knives inflicted on Vash! When they fought and while Knives stabbed him, Vash protected them both from Chronica) There's something so meaningful about Knives, who thought himself above all humans, pleading them to save Vash's life.

What a way for the antagonist of the story to go. It doesn't end with violence, it ends with a silent thank you, with him protecting one last time what is dear to him and choosing his own (inevitable? Vash lives on. So could he have lived on if he wouldn't have created the tree?) end.
Just saving these because we're getting more cute Vash faces here.

Of course Vash finds an exit directly at the spot of his pursuers. And cute salamander thing!

Salamander and Vash do not approve.
IT'S HIIIIIM

The image of Vash with a wig, fake teeth and a fake beard is really entertaining. But really, was that ever an option for him? An option at least he'd be satisfied with?
Meryl & Milly! (Don't wanna forget Milly!) Aaaw and directly back to bantering!

Hehe love that face
awww and he would have loved to be fighting his way out of messes with these two together!
Vash was utterly betrayed in this moment.
Can we get a character song where Vash sings this in Stampede, please?

24h live emergency broadcast? Phew boy Vash is not getting ANY rest.

Many familiar faces! That one older boy, I wondered if that could be Kaite from the sandsteamer? And nice to see that the guy Vash and Wolfwood beat the shit out of at Lina's is still holding up to his promise and protecting the place now (and serving drinks as it seems). Then of course Livio!!! Being at the orphanage, next to Wolfwood's grave...I'm sure he's protectig them like nobody else could, being the best big brother to them all they could wish for. (I have to say I loved his short hair look but long hair works too) And we can spot Chronica...the Nebraskas and Brad and Luida! And, I love the way Vash starts from being exasperated to running to laughing. Has he missed this? Maybe!
Running into the far horizon....
And we're here, throwback at one of the very first pages of Trigun with the same line "And the same song of humanity still sang".
What an ending, huh? I really liked the ending..it's kinda started like it has begun, with Vash running away again. A bit like a circle, but in a way, that's the theme. Because at it says "the same song of humanity still sang" - some things don't change, humans will always be humans and will always hunt Vash down for the bounty (with the extra now that there are a lot that do LIKE him and want to know what he's at, knowledge which Meryl and Milly can provide). It's such a dark and serous manga, and to end on such a light note, with a really humour-filled last chapter, to me it transports the feeling of hope. The first time I read this it moved me so much. And it made me tear up not because of sadness, but because the ending is so hopeful, so good despite everything that happened! And the fact that Vash manages to get back up again, running and smiling, while he suffered so so much throughout the whole series...isn't that a wonderful thing? To not lose your smile after all that? Isn't that the most difficult thing maybe, and he still manages?
I wanted to add some final thoughts about the manga, but I don't really know where to start? I don't have any specific thoughts, and if I get, I might make an extra post...but I just want to say how much I love this series. I read it around february the first time and was instantly flashed. It turned out to be a completely different story than I had expected. It turned out to be very confusing at times (esp. because I read the Dark Horse translation which sometimes lacks in context in the dialogues) but I STILL loved it to bits. And it's maybe now one of my favourite series if not the. It's hard to compare different mangas and series, but when I'd had to decide for one where the theme moved me the most, is interesting, where the characters feel alive and tangible, where everything feels so round and like a story that was exactly written down as the author intended and not a bit shorted or altered, where you can feel the passion in the art...man it's just this one. That doesn't lessen the impression other series have on me, but it just means that this one stands out SO much that I can always go back to it and will always love it. And, when I said it turned out completely different than expected, I especially refer to the ending. And I also want to point out what I pointed out in a post earlier, about Vash having to kill somebody, about the fact that I don't think this story is supposed to preach us any moral, any higher ideal...it just tells us that nothing is easy, people are complex, decisions are complex and fucked up stuff happens. And despite all that, you can STILL choose kindness. It's a story that sounds like it's being told exactly like it happened. Nothing is put in a better light, and the bad guys are not put in an extra bad light.
What we take from that is up to us.
#trigun#trigunbookclub#it's really over huh#I plan to pester the bookclub tag with more stuff I can think about for the next days#I cannot let it end already
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"why not join me instead?" akechi's "invitation" in conf 7
People come and go on whether this question of Akechi's is genuine or not. Opinions run the gamut from "I hate him for trying to take you away from your friends" to "Akechi wants Joker to be his accomplice".
Myself, I don't think Akechi means this as a serious question, for a number of reasons. I think this question is rhetorical.
Quick summary:
Conf 7 illustrates the similarity between Joker and Akechi, and that they're both committed to the showdown between them;
Rather than being an invitation, Akechi's question again illustrates that parallel—that neither of them will give up the things that matter to them to join the other, as Joker has asked him to do;
"I'll think about it" does not count towards the third awakening—and I can prove it. Rather, Akechi can't conceive that Joker would ever abandon his friends, and uses it as an outrageous example of something Joker would never do;
Joker's loyalty not only to his principles but to his friends is something Akechi values so much that he won't let Joker sacrifice it;
Akechi is not so much offering Joker a way out in conf 7 (there is no way out) as he's confirming for his own sake that Joker is still in the game. Is this still a battle between rivals, or is it an execution?
Let's take a look.
what is akechi really asking?
[long post is long]
Look at this line. Look at the question he's posing:
Akechi いっそ君がこっちに来るってのは?⋯今の仲間を捨ててさ。 isso kimi ga kocchi ni kuru tte no wa?... ima no nakama o sutete sa Why not join me instead...? All you'd have to do is abandon the teammates you have now.
It's very easy to focus on the first half of this question and miss the second. But that second half is the important part, the sting in the tail. The Japanese is a great example of wa building suspense: "Instead, what if you come over to my side, (AND THEN WHAT, AKECHI???????)"
The sentence is left hanging, with the weight of it unspoken (since wa emphasises what comes after it); Akechi is obviously not done speaking. And indeed, when he continues, it's a doozy:
"though, of course, you'd have to dump the friends you have now." (Yes, I think "friends" is often a much better translation of nakama than "teammates", fight me; it's even often translated as "friend" in P5 itself, or indeed, awkwardly, as "teammates and friends".)
Akechi is using the same verb, suteru, that you use for tossing something in the trash; the parallel meaning, "ending a relationship", exists in Japanese too.
Ryuji, Morgana, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba, Haru, everything you've all gone through together and everything you've been—Akechi is suggesting you toss them aside like garbage. For him.
Now, I think part of Akechi would very much like Joker to do that. But he also knows better than to expect it. Because he knows Joker so much better than that.
Akechi has seen firsthand how loyal Joker is to his friends—remember on 1/2 how he says he investigated them all? He's seen some of the things Joker will do for them. He expects that blind faith to lead Joker to his death, much as Yaldabaoth does. But he also respects it.
This boy who's never had a friend, who's convinced himself the whole idea is stupid, is still drawn to the loyalty he sees in Joker. Even as he's preparing his own ultimate betrayal, Akechi recognises Joker's commitment to others. He understands treachery is bad, even though he himself is a traitor—just as he understands that murder is bad, and that doesn't stop him, either.
This question of whether or not Joker will betray his friends (and Akechi specifically) comes back on 2/2, of course—and in force.
so why does he ask
Akechi is not proposing that the two of them run off together. He's not asking to see what Joker will say. He doesn't impulsively make the invitation, and then run away when Joker says yes. He is, in fact, not even asking. He poses the idea of Joker abandoning all his friends as a counterexample. It's supposed to be something Joker would never consider, something he will find morally repugnant.
Which is why, if Joker says yes, Akechi is shocked, and essentially tells Joker not to make such stupid spur-of-the-moment decisions. Akechi is making a rhetorical point about what Joker is asking of him.
Remember Joker's statement that leads into Akechi's question:
Yeah. Joker either suggests that Akechi should give up everything he's doing and everything he believes in (even as Akechi confabulates about what those things really are), or he suggests, with the top option, that he's already done it.
And in return, Akechi says that Joker should join him... and throw away his friends and everything he's working for and everything he believes in, of course.
It's the second response to his question, where Joker turns him down flat, that makes it most obvious that this was what Akechi meant:
Joker それは無理だ sore wa muri da I'm not doing that. No way in hell. Akechi だろうね。 darou ne I thought as much. Akechi 分かるだろ、誰だって今の立場を簡単に捨てられやしないんだよ wakaru daro, dare datte ima no tachiba o kantan ni suterare yashinai n da yo I'm sure you understand. We all have our parts to play, and we can't simply leave those behind.
See what he's saying? ima no tachiba o kantan ni suterare yashinai—"we absolutely must not lightly set aside the positions we hold now".
Incidentally, yes, that's that same verb suteru that he used before, for casting aside or throwing away. Akechi is drawing a parallel between Joker's friends and his own goals—between the things each of them holds most dear, which neither of them will sacrifice, even to save the other. (Assuming you think Akechi would even be down to save Joker—but I do think conf 7 suggests that at this point, he might not be opposed to the possibility. It's just that it doesn't exist.)
the phone call
This parallel returns in the phone call afterwards, if you again tell him that you're rivals:
It's a little hard to tell from the localisation what Akechi is getting at, so let's take a close look:
Akechi 僕らにはお互い譲れないものがあって、そのためにも負けられない。 bokura ni wa otagai yuzurenai mono ga atte, sono tame ni mo makerarenai [lit. for both of us, these are things we cannot compromise on, and because of those things we cannot suffer losing.] Neither of us can afford to lose, because we fight in service of our principles. It's the same for both of us. Neither of us can afford to lose, because of these principles we won't concede. Akechi ⋯だからこそ、もしも君が自分を曲げたりしたら絶対に赦さないよ。 ... dakara koso, moshi mo kimi ga jibun o megetari shitara zettai ni yurusanai yo [lit. that's exactly why, if you were to warp yourself [that way], I would absolutely never let such a sin (t/n: note the kanji) pass.] And that is precisely why... I cannot allow you to change. ... And that's precisely why, if you betrayed yourself that way... I couldn't allow it. Akechi だって、僕が負けたくないのは『君』なんだから。 datte, boku ga maketakunai no wa "kimi" nan da kara [lit. it's you as you are now who I do not want to lose to.] As you are now, as you think now... I cannot allow you to win over me. The person you are now, with those principles, and that determination—that's the one I won't ever allow to beat me.
Here's my attempt at a translation again, so you can see it all together:
Akechi: It's the same for both of us. Neither of us can afford to lose, because of these things we won't concede. Akechi: ...And that's precisely why, if you betrayed yourself that way... I couldn't allow it. Akechi: The person you are now, with those principles, and that determination—that's the one I won't ever allow to beat me.
It turns out that this phone conversation, that was originally quite mystical-sounding and hard to follow (what were you trying to say, Akechi?) is quite straightforward. It ties into to his original question. "Will I join you, Joker? Well, what if you join me instead? Just throw away all your little friends for my sake? Of course you won't—because we're the same. Both of us have things we can't give up, no matter what—and if you tried to do that, I wouldn't let you, because I value you as you are...."
This parallel between the two of them is what conf 7 is about, from the text message that opens it to the phone call that concludes it:
It's the same thing again: neither of you can afford to lose, because you're fighting for your principles. The billiard table is the stage for this wider discussion.
The billiard scene, of course, is interesting for another reason—Akechi is giving Joker a chance to back out; he's testing his commitment, and perhaps hinting that he never intended to be quite where he is, either. He states at the outset that he's being indirect, that what he's saying is a metaphor—and then closes that metaphor with a very direct question: "Do you still intend to play this game?"
Akechi それでも君は、このゲームを降りる��はないの? sore demo kimi wa, kono geemu o oriru ki wa nai no? Even then... do you still intend to play this game? But despite all of that, you still won't fold, will you?
The Japanese is even more specific: Akechi asks Joker if he intends to fold—not whether he still wants to play, but whether he means to give up entirely! "This can't be what you expected, so how about it? Will you just give up? Does this mean as much to you as it does to me? Is this a game we both choose to play, or are you just a victim?"
How much of this is Akechi blowing smoke up his own ass?—casting the fact that he's about to murder the boy in front of him in a glowing, romantic light? Pretty much all of it, I'd say. He's dreamed of having a rival, someone to compete with who challenges him, but what he's got is quite a bit more than that.
Again, the rival imagery is what allows Akechi not only to accept this close relationship, but to frame it as a life-or-death contest that only one of them can win. It confirms to him that what Lavenza describes as "a truly unfair game" is actually fair. It's about making Joker's murder seem as much Joker's fault as his own.
but what happens if you say yes?
Despite all of this, you can choose to have Joker consider Akechi's "offer"—to discard Ryuji, Morgana, Ann, Yusuke, Makoto, Futaba and Haru like trash, and assist Akechi instead. It's tempting, I know.
I don't personally get the impression that Akechi likes this response, for a number of reasons. None of the three responses to his offer score confidant points, but there's something else in play: only one of these responses unlocks his third awakening.
See the F code highlighted in yellow? Only one of these three responses has it. "You're my rival" counts towards the third awakening. Rejecting him, with "I'm not doing that", does not—but more to the point, offering to be with him, with "I'll think about it", also does not!
The issue is confused because a number of us have taken option 1 (or indeed option 2, like me) and still got the third awakening on 2/2. It seems like you need some of the flagged responses, not all of them. But it remains the case that "I'll think about it" does not make Akechi more likely to have his third awakening.
What happens if you take this option?
Joker 考えておく kangaete oku I'll think about it. Akechi へえ、考えてはくれるんだ? hee, kangaete wa kureru n da? Oh? So you'll think about it, at least? What? You mean you'll consider it? Akechi ⋯でも、そういうその場限りの情はやめた方がいい。 ...demo, sou iu sono ba kagiri no jou wa yameta hou ga ii ...But I'd advise you don't say these things without their due consideration. ... Still, it would be better if you didn't trust such fleeting sentiments. Akechi 出来もしない約束はするものじゃないよ。 deki mo shinai yakusoku wa suru mono ja nai yo You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep, anyway. Don't be the sort who promises the earth and walks away.
A few grammar points:
んだ n da on a question demands an explanation; Akechi's question could almost be rendered "Why on earth would you need/want to think about it?"
そういうその場限りの情 sou iu sono ba kagiri no jou—"sentiments that only matter here and now". Essentially, "sentiments that won't last"—or that are makeshift or ad hoc; Joker is making a stupid spur-of-the-moment decision.
yes, 出来もしない約束 deki mo shinai yakusoku translates idiomatically as "promising the earth". The point is not that Joker should not promise; the point is that he shouldn't be the sort of person who promises so much—and then doesn't follow through.
Again, this confidant is all about Akechi's expectations for Joker. It's about the weird belief he has in him, like the belief he has in Shido—that Joker has principles and friends and will stand by them, that those things are important and matter, even if they're diametrically opposed to Akechi's principles and the things he wants.
The fact that they foil each other in this way is a large part of what makes Joker such a worthy opponent for Akechi. So if Joker turns around and says, sure, Akechi, I'll dump all my friends so we can make out?
Akechi does not like that. He thinks better of him!—he loses respect if Joker offers this. Even if that little line about "promising the earth" suggests that, actually, yeah, he would quite like for the two of them to run away together—if only they lived in a world where it was possible.
what about "you're my rival"?
I've discussed this line before, but let's go into it for completeness.
Joker 明��は好敵手だ akechi wa koutekishu da You're my rival. Nah, you're my worthy opponent.
Do you see that Joker names Akechi there? He doesn't just say, "we're worthy opponents", or even "you're my worthy opponent", koutekishu da yo.
No, he picks Akechi out by name, and then tells him exactly what they are to each other. Because wa builds suspense. Akechi wa... (what?! what is he?!) koutekishu da. "I can't run away with you, because I need you to be this to me instead".
And this is the line with the F-code. This is the line that, if you choose it, will build towards Akechi's third awakening—which is centred on his trust in Joker, on the fact that Joker is worthy of that trust.
And how does Akechi respond?
He's astonished. He did not expect this at all, look:
On the left, the top screenshot where he's waiting for your answer; in the centre, the moment of shock, where he's pulled away and dropped his hand and his eyes are wide; on the right, a comparative overlay just to demonstrate that he pulled back.
smiles that aren't smiles
I have a half-assed theory that you can tell when Akechi is really smiling—because the model will smile with him. If you watch, for instance, Ryuji, the model's expressions match the sprite's almost exactly. But if you watch Akechi? Nah, not so much.
Here's an example. Akechi appears to smile quite often through conf 7—but if you glance away from the sprite and textbox to the model, the model is pokerfaced. Five smile sprites on the optimal route through conf 7, and not one of them—not even "you truly are fascinating"—matches the model:
But when you pick "You're my rival"? Suddenly the model's face springs to life:
It's obvious from everything else that this moment is of deep significance to Akechi. But this little detail with the smiles suggests we can confirm it.
and what does he say?
It doesn't take long for him to pull himself together:
Akechi 同意だね、僕らにはなれ合いより対等な関係こそふさわしい。 doui da ne, bokura ni wa nareai yori taitouna kankei koso fusawashii I agree. I think a relationship of equals suits us better than being co-conspirators, anyway...
This is another one that I find unclear in the localisation, so let's have at it.
nareai suggests an illicit or unduly-close union. It suggests "being in bed together" in the business sense—cosying up, colluding, conspiring. It suggests they're working together when they shouldn't be. Jisho uses the screamingly-outdated term "common-law marriage" (what we call "living together") as an example. Essentially, it suggests they're too close—or even co-dependent, in a way that corrupts them both.
In short? Akechi's "co-conspirators", nareai, means "accomplices"—what we might call "murder boyfriends".
taitouna kankei—literally, "an equal relationship"—is a set phrase, and we know what it means. It suggests a relationship where nobody is being cheated; where everyone gets out what they put in. Where the two of them compete on equal terms.
That's a very Akechi way to look at relationships. But it's also a relationship where nobody is in charge; nobody is dominant, and everyone has self-respect. Nobody is chasing after anyone or sacrificing unduly, as either would be if they joined the other. Everyone can be who they are and say what they want. Everyone can say no.
It's the sort of relationship Akechi very notably does not have with Shido. Is it the sort of relationship he has with Joker, when the two of them are hiding so much from each other and lying so much, and there's so much, like, murder going on? Nah. But as an aspiration, as a suggestion of the sort of relationship Akechi would like them to have, alongside everything else he's told us about how he sees the two of them—as similar, as equals and opposites, as bound by their principles, as destined to fight—it's almost touching.
and what does joker think?
Akechi ⋯たとえこの先、何があろうともだ。 ...tatoe kono saki, nani ga arou tomo da ...No matter what else may change. ...No matter what might come next. Akechi それだけの事を言ったんだから、逃げないでよ? sore dake no koto o itta n da kara, nigenaide yo? In any case, what you just said carries great weight. Remember what you decided, and don't run from it. All right? [lit. don't run away just because of what [I/you] said, all right?]
I'm not sure about this. It feels like it should be referring back to Akechi's last line—"don't get cold feet and run away just because I alluded ominously to whatever's coming next, okay?". I guess it could be referring to Joker's commitment, with "You're my rival"? IDK, I'm out on this one, so I'm inclined to give the localisation the benefit of the doubt.
But it doesn't matter. Because the significance of what Joker does next doesn't change:
He nods. Akechi spends the whole confidant hinting that something ominous is coming, and that the two of them are heading to an inevitable confrontation, and Joker nods.
I don't think this is really consistent with interpretations where Joker is a meek little sheep in the interrogation room. Joker might not have chosen this, he might not have wanted it, he might have by far preferred to avoid it. He'd happily back out if Akechi would just drop the whole thing and agree to act sane. But he's committed to it. He agrees to fight.
Remember, conf 7 takes place after Joker hears the murder phone call. He knows what Akechi is. He knows what he's planning. He knows the stakes—and he agrees to play, to face Akechi down.
To quote @nardaviel, that's no sheep. That's a full-on "Phantom Thieves win again, motherfucker" smirk. Joker played Akechi's game, with everything he had—and he played to win.
#persona 5#p5 meta#japanese language#shuake#goro akechi#ren amamiya#almost the worst part of this is that akechi respecting joker for his loyalty tells you how little he respects himself#also! 'i'll think about it' CANNOT POSSIBLY unlock the third awakening#because the third awakening is *all about trust* and saying yes to akechi proves that you're a traitor#and that 'i won't forgive you if you betray your principles' on the phone? also 2/2. this is exactly what he does if you take the deal#also!! joker makes a third option to akechi's question with 'you're my rival' and this is what astonishes him besides the thing itself#also! (per leonawriter) the maruki deal ending is essentially the nareai relationship#where akira has all the power and akechi..? well#nobody is themself or choosing for themself#also as regards whether akechi is lying he proves himself through action#'i won't let you betray yourself' - he did that already if you tried to take the deal#ALSO? that 'megeru' for 'i won't let you depart from your principles comes back on 2/2#as joker's 'i won't fold'#and ofc it's ALSO akechi's 'you'd fold over...' that precedes that. it was set up in conf 7 if you took the rival route#so tldr it's plausible that 2/2 is as much akechi fighting for his vision of joker as for his right to die. help???#ALSO. did you wonder why it's *awakening* akechi who comes to leblanc? the one closer to you who believes in you more?#this is exactly why. awakening akechi has faith left in you to lose. non-awakening akechi already lost that faith. BYE
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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?
i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!

anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??
he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!
also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.
#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols#Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc#finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch#a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros#but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols#(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido#so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal#(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory#and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it#but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary#or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial#like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash#so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE#I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends#LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of#as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS#so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY#INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS
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#web weaving#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#yuuji... oh yuuji#can you tell im being a little biased here? this one's a lil more elaborate i think#what to say about itadori yuuji#the boy who became a monster; the heart that would stop beating before it could rot; the child who grew up too fast#the victim of his own best intentions#yuuji is i think the perfect intersection of guilt and grief and rage and love#he hates himself but he loves others more#he has a monster inside of him but maybe it never consumes him because hes used to the monster#maybe he already carried it with him long before sukuna and his fingers#the beauty of itadori yuuji to me is that he knows the ugliness of the world#he knows pain and grief and rage and hate and fear#he can be brutal#he understands sukuna's cruelty because hes wielded it just as much as hes been pinned through by it#itadori yuuji knows darkness and monsters#the thing that makes him such a driving force and so beloved of so many#is because he doesn't let himself succumb to it#he tries not to resent his suffering and forces himself to look forward; he perserveres through loneliness and smiles through grief#he remains kind#he laughs#he loves#he struggles and cries and screams and breaks down#but in the end he gathers himself he breathes#and he takes one more step#thats his choice: in the face of all the odds and all the bitter flavours the world has to offer he says#no#if i cannot be good i will be kind
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the goverment is definitely figuring out this alien situation asap right?? cause whats happening currently is not feasible in the long run is it not??
im sure they are trying to maybe figure it out...probably, but part of me feels like it is not being treated with the seriousness it should be by them, which ig is in character LOL
pretty much relying on one guy (who doesnt even wanna be doing this) is actually scary
and the mc still has to like 'encourage' him to do it, tho its much easier in the 'ray ending' for sure. that man just wants to live a regular life with mc (unfortunately for him that means continuing to be binary star and dealing with aliens)
and if i was a citizen and knew this id be panicking
like yea u have these other heroes helping and stuff which im sure looks comforting from an outside point of view! but like the actuality is that its ray keeping things afloat
AND ON THE TOPIC OF THE MC, i was definitely in my head like....wouldnt rays superiors (managers??) get like curious about them? like no way theyre not being nosy about it after a certain amount of time passes. it really feels like something that could be leveraged against him,,, (if there is fic about this pls send it to me lol)
honestly i feel like mc and rays relationship would have moments of high stress. like there will be good times but also the bad times will also be there and its sometimes gonna be because of outside factors they cant control
#like this hero set up for the violent alien invasions....cannot continue forever no?#its like a common hero trope but i love overthinking stuff its my jam!#and this is not me even getting into the possibility of mc dying before him (natural causes or accident)...or him getting too old eventuall#ig they could make another human weapon or something but if that were the easiest solution#there would be more ppl like ray walking around already ig (also this is a messed up thing to do btw)#is there even a solution to this??#see im entering the next phase of my fixation which is#thinking about the world#its really interesting guys!#ray is an interesting character and all the shit hes been through...im surprised he can be even controlled ngl lol#like yea mc is his last link to humanity but also deep down ik he doesnt want to let go of it hence the obsession and love towards them#its tragic that that hope had to be pinned on one singular person tho#wishing the best for him tho#i think he should be allowed to retire rn ACTUALLY#unfortunately everyone will fuckin die so.#again....government do something!?#i dont believe in my heart that theyre trying to actually solve the problem...#ik its not an easy problem to solve either....there might not be a solution at all! but i still feel like theyre not trying hard enough??#but idk enough about what the gov is doing to know. this is literally me just going based off vibes#i hope i stop having th urge to yap about this in like a week cause ill go crazy just making thing up#binary star hero#bshvn#im so curious to actually see how mc and rays day to day official relationship would go#the ray ending one where theyre trying to be healthy about it lol#theyre super cute haha#also its always fun to see a yan type character trying to be 'normal' about their feelings#hes trying okay! he doesnt even read mcs mind anymore without permission#or at least he tries#pretty sure he slips up every once in awhile#god i just...i have a bunch of stuff going on in my head
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Is there a fic out there that maybe explores Cyberverse Megatron's multiverse adventure, specifically his time in the Other One's dimension? Because I feel like there's a lot to explore there
Like I think the main thing to explore is how after his travels and coming back to his universe, he chooses to end the war. Like on some level, he was doing it for self-preservation, but he did decide to actually help Optimus and stop the fighting, which he mostly sticks to, even if it's only for him and his Decepticons. And the fact that he includes his Decepticons in his protection; yes, they're more security against his counterpart but he went back to them and made an effort to keep them safe, when he could have just abandoned his original universe and conquered a new one
And you could make a very easy argument that spending time in that other dimension and seeing that other version of him is what made him decide to be at least marginally better. I've read a couple fics where Megatron meeting SG Optimus is what sort of leads him to declaring some form of truce, and I think a similar principle could apply here. I think Megatron rethinking his outlook and trying to change for the better being the result of him experiencing a worse version of himself and what they bring is a very interesting idea, and with Cyberverse, the concept's right there on a silver platter because it actually happened
Have a story where we see CV Megatron be stuck in the X dimension or whatever it's called for a bit, along with Dead End, and his reactions to this other dimension. Like first it's good because he won in this dimension, there's no Autobots, but then he quickly sees that the bots here live in straight up tyranny, worse than any he likely experienced before the war, and not only that but his loyal Decepticons are all gone to be replaced with "perfect Decepticons". Like maybe he didn't value them as much as Optimus values his troops, and they're not the most competent and rather annoying at times, but he realizes that despite their imperfections, he doesn't actually want them all dead and replaced with soulless, perfect machines, and he slowly realizes that he actually cared about them. And then there's meeting his other counterpart, and realizing he is just a monster. Which maybe causes him to re-evaluate his own choices because at one point, they were the same person, but he hates this other self, and maybe he starts to see why Optimus split off from his cause in the first place
Like it's a slow-burn redemption story for this Megatron, and how he got to the point of wanting to return to his home dimension and end their war
I just think it'd be a really good premise for a fic, and I would read the hell out of that. I mean I'm not a Cyberverse expert, nor am I a particularly good writer, so I don't think I could do it, but I want to either see someone do it, or be directed to a fic with this premise
#I just like the idea of Megatron being turned to redemption by encountering a worse version of him in general#but like Cyberverse already has that concept just unexplored by canon so might as well direct it to that#also if it's a good fic I'd imagine more Cyberverse lore additions which I'm always down for#I'm gonna be real the Cyberverse backstory particularly for Megatron is very unexplored#like it says it's following the Aligned/IDW lore of unfair class treatment but we're shown a different story#like we never see oppression in pre-war Cybertron outside of Starscream not liking non-jets but that could just be him#but I'm getting off topic I just would like more lore elaboration in addition to the redemption thing#the only real thing is there being no full megop which is usually a part of these kinds of fics#like maybe you can have Megatron consider his relationship with Optimus and how he truly feels#but like within the confines of the story Optimus physically cannot be there outside of the very beginning or end#because he's not on the multiverse trip and this universe's him is already dead#but I'm getting carried away again let's just go to tags#point is I very much want and need this fic#so much potential in this concept#transformers#transformers cyberverse#megatron#fanfiction#story idea
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there are two wolves inside me. one wolf doesn't want to make dorian pavus archon because that's just a lot. of lotness for him to deal with and I love him and would like to spare him that at least, and also even posthumously it means sort of giving halward pavus a win. which galls, naturally. the other wolf thinks it would be very very funny for iron bull to have to deal with being married in all but law to the archon of tevinter.
#in terms of 'boys you cannot bring home to tama' that one takes the cake probably!#what it actually would be realistically is 'desperately sad' in all likelihood but y'know. the concept in itself tickles#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#adoribull#dorian pavus#iron bull#also I Do believe dorian might just be impetuous enough to go 'yeah. the love of my life is the former head of the qun secret police#on seheron. does anyone want to say anything about it now that I'm archon.' and everyone would have to go#'you know what. the end of the world has already been so fucking weird this might as well happen. I certainly don't want this job'#I got my 'no continuing adoribull confirmed but ALSO no adoribull confirmed to no longer be a thing' wish and I'm okay with this#it makes perfect sense that dorian wouldn't let that slip to someone he's known for all of five minutes#when it's one of if not the most politically dangerous elements of his life lol it's fine I'll happily infer in the negative space :)
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Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.
When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?
Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?
I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.
I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.
An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.
So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.
Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡
#bungou stray dogs#seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want#but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this#either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it#if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol#maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk#also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing#like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost#not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise#i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with#and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story#I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen#BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga#like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible#so I at least am still perfectly happy lol#(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already#please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda#Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
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As far as character progression goes, I'd argue that the most important aspect of the RLJ reveal isn't just Jon learning that he isn't Ned's son. The most important part is him learning that he isn't Ned Stark's bastard son. He's spent all his life chasing after Ned's shadow, trying to prove to himself and to the world that he is worthy of being Ned Stark's son, "let them say that Eddard Stark had fathered four sons not three", “he was not a Stark but he could die like one” and all that. He's internalized the shame of being the one stain on honorable Ned Starks' reputation
“But it’s a lie,” Jon insisted. How could they think his father was a traitor, had they all gone mad? Lord Eddard Stark would never dishonor himself … would he? He fathered a bastard, a small voice whispered inside him. Where was the honor in that? And your mother, what of her? He will not even speak her name.
So it's important for him to finally stop chasing after that elusive shadow. It's important for him to understand that Ned's dishonor was a deliberate choice that he made by himself, and it's thus no fault of his own. Once Jon internalizes that, then he can finally move on and ask himself, who am I? What do I want for myself? What can I be in this world, just as I am? So far, he's been unable to do that successfully because he still has an incomplete (and false) understanding of who he is.
#jon snow#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#jon specifically being ned’s bastard cannot be overstated#it heavily colors his outlooks on his own life and how he navigates through the world#like let’s talk about his sex hangups for example#being ned's bastard is so so important to his character arc#ffs whenever he meets someone new it’s always you must be ned stark’s bastard#it’s how he and everyone else understand his role in life so for him to progress as a character we need to ask#what happens when jon is no longer ned stark’s bastard?#what happens when the one thing that drove him to the wall - to seek glory and kickstarted his heroic journey#is proven to be false?#what then?#what does he do then? where does he go then? who does he become then?#I think he will at first be resistant - and it’s been my personal theory that his learning of robb’s will#will coincide with that and that will be the greatest temptation for him#just like with stannis’ offer and how he agonized over it he will try to cling to some form of#-I can still be ned’s son can’t I? look robb legitimized me as such-#yes I think he’ll already be aware of his parentage by the time he learns of the will#but ultimately he will choose to forge his own path in the end just like he chose to remain with the nw#which then doesn’t look good for the kitn prospects I’m ngl 😬#because just like accepting Stannis’ offer meant desecrating his father’s gods#accepting the will while knowing that he has no right over his now cousins would straight up be usurpation regardless of age or skill#and I can see grrm throwing in that moral dilemma for Jon because his arc is full of them#but just as he rejected stannis and ended up as lc then his final rejection will lead to something else that is greater - king of winter 🤭#Just my opinion tho 🙂#tagging#eddard stark#r plus l equals j#As well
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Sooo, I thought about Lunar going He only hit me once about Eclipse, and stumbled across this really cool tumblr Blog talking about it
https://www.tumblr.com/annakenziesworld/750845019184922624/eclipse-only-ever-really-hit-me-once?source=share
I wanted to show you the angst, like a puppy shows it's owner a cool stick it found
Me to Lunar: Why the fuck you lying, WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING🎶
YEYSYESYYES I SAW THAT !!!! I've been thinking abt it sm since I saw it actually bc, while it was likely just a case of "it happened so long ago we forgor what happened", it can 100% be interpreted as Lunar repressing most of the memories from that time and only remembering the most "major" event and it's so fascinating to me! Bc like, I've thought it was weird they said he only hit them once too, bc I've always distinctly remembered Lunar telling Moon that Eclipse hit him twice!!
But as the clips show, honestly, it's a good bit over twice!! It's just probably likely that Lunar didn't clock it as anything notable or important because Eclipse just... kinda always treated them like that. They remembered the two hardest hits because those were particularly upsetting, but everything else just blended into the mix of "shitty ways Eclipse treats me." yk??? And then over time, more shit got repressed or forgotten, and they can only remember the day in the cafe.
Like again I know it's very likely entirely accidental, but it ended up being a pretty solid way to show memory issues via trauma! And that's not even accounting for the fact that depression (and their retconned ADHD 😔) can also cause memory problems!! So this little blunder can be attributed to their fucked up mental health in-universe which is both cool rep!! but also breaks my heart over Lunar so much BSJABSJS
#asks#anon#i had already shared a few thoughts via my reblog side blog but unfortunately i am unwell about these two so i am overjoyed at the-#-oppertunity to ramble more thank u anon HEJAHAJSH#i feel like a lotta people forget that during traumatic times of ur life there's just... a lotta holes. yk?#so even if tbe second hit /was/ upsetting enough for them to remember when they went to talk to moon#it probably just ended up getting shoved in the 'lets not think about that' box without them noticing#and unless something triggers these memories then... they'll never know!#and it's not their fault that they aren't telling the whole truth!! they can only remember so much!#so it's not necessarily lying. they just literally cannot remember any of the other times they were hurt. yk??#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams lunar#xero thoughts and rambles#lunarposting
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everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
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It is so hard for me to just let go of tasks I've delegated and I am being so so brave right now.
#I did end up making two extra cakes because no one had planned dessert#I already let go of the dinner aspect even though it is absolutely not what I would have done at all#(they are just getting sams club pizzas and I am so courageous)#also I'm worried they won't bring enough punch#and I don't know if anyone is making a non-spiked punch#gritting my teeth and trying NOT to make extra punches#'Doc I wonder if this is why you sometimes get stressed out have tried letting things go' FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU#dear mother I cannot delegate#some dumb greek bitch has overcome me with longinbg for everything to be perfect or at least my fault
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I was teaching Ophelia’s death scene this week and one of my classes spontaneously giggled when she died (because they are 16 years old and emotionally immature) and I said, in a shocked voice, “it is NOT funny” and they all insisted that it was and so I let it go but then the next day I showed them some Ophelia art, made them think about how sinister it was that her death happens offstage but is still described in such detail for the viewer, which tells us she was WATCHED but not HELPED as she died, and then played a clip from Branagh’s Hamlet of Kate Winslet singing a mourning song for her father and when I tell you how satisfying it was to hear a total and complete hush fall over the room
#teaching tag#Obviously I cannot control their emotions and I don’t try to. but I love to lay all the right groundwork for them to be moved#even if they don’t understand or forget it a second later#I can do that!!! let them have their moment of silly little reaction and then clear it away and make them look at the moment again#giving them all the context and support they need and don’t have on their own#and I have no idea if it works on a personal or individual level because it depends on what they let into their little hearts#but as a class i KNOW that it works. because of that signature hush#the same thing happened when I read the proposal scene from David Copperfield out loud#it’s happened with the end of the inferno. P&P Pemberley scene. teaching twelfth night#it’s my favorite thing to do in the entire world#to just sweep everything away and then re-build how to look at a scene#and the thing I LOVE about teaching high schoolers is that there’s the immaturity and the boredom etc. etc.#But underneath that there is a great stupidity ready to be taught#that is so much better than pretentious college age kids or hardened adults who already ‘know’ what it’s about#they have that grain of stupidity (more than a grain lol) that o’Connor talks about#that is the secret to letting things in#and I’m so passionate about showing them and I’m just getting better at clearing the ground and knowing what tools to show them when#and also —-this is A new thing I’m learning —-how to hold back my own emotions or reactions so as not to cloud it#whenever I start talking very matter-of-factly and very quickly and almost dispassionately about the structure of a moment#that’s so much better than me having the emotion because it gives THEM room to have the emotion#and that’s simply how they’re hooked#ANYWAY. as I said lots of thoughts thanks for listening wldkdkejejjejejejehe
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hihi !!
so, hear me out, theoretically, if someone who doesn't play genshin (anymore), theoretically may have been propagandised and infected /pos with the Childe / (tartaglia / ajax ?) bug through your musings and content...
how would one, theoretically, go about indulging in such, without playing the damn game?? Like, wondering what you recommend, as to how I could sort of get to know the character more without playing yk?
Hehe hi I'm Zoie btw nice to meet you
⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
OMG HIIIIII ZOIE HI HI HI ITS SO NICE TO MEET YOU :333 first of all - congratulations on that little freak infesting your mind too CKEKCKDKCKDKFKDKF (as if he didn’t do the same to me….. ANYWAYS SHSJCJDJC)
SO !!!!!! i don’t have a good nor particularly normal answer but i will tell you what i did CKDKCKDKCNCND basically when i was like ‘hmm maybe i like this guy’ i didn’t have enough time between work and school to actually sit down and play genshin SO instead i started watching playthroughs !!!! i watched the main liyue arc (and actually fell in love with the game so much i started playing) and saw a lot of fontaine and his story quest BUT in watching all of his scenes i basically realized i was absolutely fucking cooked and so obsessed w him FKDKCKDKCNDND
ANYWAYS at that point i started reading his wiki page (like . on the daily - do not do this FKDKCKDKCKCK) and watched some character study/analysis videos about him just to fill in some gaps and stuff since i was still pretty early in the game!!!!! then as my love continued to grow (exponentially - he is in everything now) i also started reading fics and stuff for him and got to see how others interpret his character !!!!!!
all this to say the main things i did were watch playthroughs + character analysis videos, read his wiki, and read fics!!!! i felt like it really rounded out my view of him by getting to see the canon materials, getting to explore his backstory and lore, and getting to see how others interpret him!!!!!!!!
#FKEKFKKDK SORRY IF THIS WAS . nonsense again i cannot fully recommend what i did because he obviously ended up consuming my every thought#BUT DEFINITELY WATCH HIS CHARACTER QUEST IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY#OH AND LIYUE TOO IF YOU HADNT GOTTEN TO IT IN THE GAME#ANYWAYS IT IS SO NICE TO MEET YOU#WELCOME TO THE FREAK FUCKER CLUB DKDKCKDKCKDKFKFK#LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT HIM IF YOU DO ANY OF THIS CDKCKDKCKDN AAHHHH :3333#q answers#zoie <3
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just realized i got my mother so into aib from not shutting up about it for literally 4-5 months that she sent her friend turn me up. The song thats briefly in the flashback with kyuuma. Which its 10000% best song stg, but also HUH???????
#j watches alice in borderland tag ig#j’s crying and listening to music#Also shes finally understood not being able to fill the void!#Unironically. She keeps asking me about shows and if theyre similar to aib because she and i quote “need my alice in borderland fix”#Btw thats the reason im teaching her how to use ao3 🧍#After she gets it more im going to explain thats why people write and draw. She decided to write her own end of aib already but idk if shes#Actually gonna do it. But still.#Im going to make her feel regret for fucking crushing me when i tried to tell her about the ending of bsd s5.#Btw she let me off school for a week she was that intrested. Im not kidding. Thank you sho and guchiry for managing this in a oddly literal#Way! Seriously. This started bc “this looks like an okay playlist”. I cannot stress this enough.
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i think im? halfway? in the thumbnail phase
#i kind of hate it but i also want it to exist#ive somewhat given up on the idea of it ever being fully finished in color render#theres already over 60 frames in this i CANNOT let myself do 120+ paintings. some of which are on screen less than a second#but if I can at least have the full song rough sketched by the end of the year... 🤞#Colours SD
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