#REST IN FUCKING PIECES

[leggyre]

im fucking losing it

[asexualstarscream]

He's just a little guy.

I really couldn't draw my sona so I just drew a simplified version of the in-game player thing.

ref under cut

[toughtink]

[commercialwarehouse]

[zannolin]

i fear the sub emails for this chapter have not gone out or at least not to everyone subscribed 💀

[tiredmoonslut]

Oh Gawyn Trakand, the man that you aren't

[bsotted]

Critical nerf that tumblr no longer lets you click the username on a post in order to navigate directly to the reblog. Core functionality stripped away bro how else am I supposed to find a version of the post that meets my (admittedly paranoid) forwarding criteria…. Listen I need an iteration of the silly funny thread that’s at least 7 degrees of Kevin bacon away from MY blog so that I can SAFELY send a version of the post to a normie or irl friend without the risk of accidentally exposing my actual blog? How else can I avoid reverse-doxxing myself to the irls 🥲 devs.. please

[clearly-ambiguous]

I. Am. Free!!!

No more Live!!! My resolution to never hit the fucking icon outlived the life of the service itself. It went from "New!" to dead.

[graysongraysoff]

never in my life would i pass any like moral judgment on someone based on a ship but with that being said....................... u gotta admit the re/ylos' track record is rough

[luckystar190mk2]

Happy Margaret Thatcher Death Day, Tumblr. I'm glad the old sod's dead and buried.

On April 8 we celebrate the death of Margaret Thatcher, and remember all the lives she destroyed.

[nando161mando]

Remember Luigi is currently innocent

Couldn't Be Any Conflict

[flip-flan-flonne]

This is what they took from me...

[hellsrings-radio-synz-777]

[arsmentae]

The first rule of sword-fighting is having immaculate drip at all times

[sualne]

aroace kisses from the king himself

[sunderwight]

Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.

Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.

To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.

He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.

Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.

So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.

When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.

What did he do to cause that?!

And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!