#Rational affection
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The kind of romance I deserve
#John Locke#Locke’s philosophy#Enlightenment thinking#Love and reason#Romantic philosophy#Epistemology and love#Knowledge through experience#Locke and Rousseau#Romantic idealism#Empirical love#Enlightenment romance#Blank slate theory#Tabula rasa#Locke’s treatises#Love and liberty#Free will in romance#Social contract of love#Locke-inspired literature#Romance in books#Philosophy of the heart#Rational affection#Locke’s essays#Lovers in learning#Literature and love#Bookish romance#Romantic bibliophile#Intellectual courtship#Locke-inspired fiction#Reading for the soul#Philosophy of reading
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Selkie!stone showing off his teeth >:)
#stobotnik#doctor robotnik#agent stone#selkie!stone#this au has me in a chokehold#im learning about seals#did you know leopard seals have freaky teeth? squiggly shaped#I love them#had so much fun with this#once rob finds out about stone he’s Very smug about it#he’s rationalizing it as stone being an ‘essential asset’ and having a ‘scientific curiosity’#(he does but he’s also coming to terms with domesticity and seal is big soft metaphor for a partnership that supports villainy and heart)#(what? metaphors for affection in a stobotnik AU? whhaaaat?)(sarcastic)(love these kinds of metaphors tho)#smacking rob over the head with the fact that he’s loved and also with a big big seal boyfriend slash henchman#their purple and red eyes <3#been in the trenches of AU ramblings in Every notebook I own#like ramblings of a madman style#and I don’t usually?write?so it’s been fun#they live in my brain#agghhhh
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I drew the first image of Link and Bazz drinking and chilling together and then it spiraled
What can I say, I just really like watching these two interact, and I think Bazz is weirdly uniquely qualified to relate to at least some of Link's internal drama.
#loz#botw#zora#bazz#bazzlink#(this time 100% platonic lol)#link#also i love me a good excuse to draw some bazz expressions#halfway through this comics this just became a straight up study of Bazz's mannerisms lol#but yeah bazz relates to link's complicated zelda feelings a lot#he serves the domain out of sense of duty and also it's his job#but also he does love sidon just so much it will destroy him one day in one way or another#and if it was romantic it would probably be easier to rationalize but it's not#great job on having fulfilling relationships and healthy coping mechanisms bazz! a+ gold star as always#but maybe reconnecting with link will make the knighthood angst feel a bit less crushing hmm#also yes bazz chugged a whole bottle of wine and it didn't do much to affect him (meanwhile link is flushed after his one half cup)#he isnt lying here his head really is that strong poor guy#(edited) fixed a few details and clunky dialogue bits that bothered me
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camchase as a hilson parallel except it’s chase who is 100% wilson and cameron who is 160% house
#hate crimes md#malpractice posting#chameron#hilson#yes i'm tagging this hilson. bc i am right#trust me on this. it’s way more accurate this way.#sure chase us a house parallel in other ways but in this?#cameron who keeps self sabotaging and is afraid of failure and refuses to try#cameron who keeps trying to reduce the relationship to rational and emotionless terms#to make it scientific against all evidence and feeling#who is terrified of that kind of vulnerability#who has suffered terrible heartbreak and loss and lets it color every inch of her#who refuses to change and open up because that’s a loss of control#and chase who really truly believes if he tries hard enough it will make up for any lack#who is loyal to cameron to the end and takes all manner of neglect and thoughtlessness#not because he’s so selfless and wonderful and kind but because he’s just as screwed up#and knows it#and feels like cameron is maybe his only chance#maybe his first real chance#at any kind of love of affection#and spends most of his time looking desperately for connection in all the wrong ways#settling for the first people he sees#falling in love and being unable to sustain or fake it longer than a few days#i am. telling you.
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Another g/t trope that I love but as a dialogue prompt
Giant: "You're scared of me."
Tiny: "...I don't want to be."
#it's the conflict between rational affection and irrational fear that Gets Me™#I feel like I've read a story with this exact same dialogue once but I'm not sure#so I'm sharing this as a prompt lol#g/t#giant/tiny#sfw g/t#g/t prompt#coffeh rambles
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Feeling this lately. Those middle panels.
#i got to this in an impulsively rereading strips moment and it resonated with my recent hopelessnesses#i should stop letting them affect my Behaviors until i can figure out which ones are rational#except crying which is a behavior but also not something i'm gonna suppress rn#crying is smart usually#el goonish shive
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Hm. Just had a rather terrible thought.
We can all agree that in the beginning of their deal, Stolas treated Biltz in a way that was... very condescending and degrading, right? You could even say dehumanizing (de-demonizing?).
We also know that Stolas is very inexperienced in sex and sexual behaviors. He is very new to exploring it all, even if he seems to have some theoretical knowledge of it.
Most likely the only other sexual partner Stolas had before Blitz was Stella. And we know from the way Stella described it that it wasn't... a pleasant experience to Stolas, to say the least. ("He laid there, just staring at the ceiling" anyone???)
Stella is also most likely the only person Stolas ever had a romantic relationship with. And we all know how that was like. She disliked him and insulted him on daily basics. She probably never wanted to be with him, just like he never wanted to be with her.
So the only true experiences Stolas had with anything related to romantic relationship was with Stella, a person who treated him horribly and who was forced into that relationship and probably resented it.
So like. I wonder if Stolas, a person who had zero experiences with sex and relationships that wasn't terrible, unconsciously copied some of the behaviors that Stella showed him, in his relationship with Blitz. Because it was the only thing he had to base his understanding how sex and relationships worked like. He was unconsciously copying the harmful behaviors Stella showed him because it was the only thing he knew.
#idk it might be just me but like#stella's description of how the sex she had with stolas looked like still gives me heebie jeebies#and people who's been abused sometimes can copy the behaviors of their abusers bc of how they rationalize their actions as not abuse#and have to work on realizing that those actions are harmful and them doing it to others is harmful as well#as stolas did after the end of season 1 when he realized how his actions affected blitz and how wrong their deal was#helluva boss#stolas#stolitz#hb#hb stolas#helluva stolas#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss meta#gin posts helluva boss
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hey I think you're neat can I crack open your ribcage and live there forever
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I wish we got to see Vi's reaction to Isha's imprisonment. Isha was clearly younger, weaker, and less able to protect herself than Vi was when she thrown into Stillwater (which still wasn't a lot). Where's Vi's horror to be on the outside looking in at another child thrown into an adult sized prison cell? How does it feel to know someone you grew close to (Caitlyn) signed off on the same abuse you were personally subject to during your formative years? Does it feed into Vi's self-loathing to know she was apart of this? Would Isha recognize this is the same girl who protected Jinx and would have been shot by Caitlyn? There's so much to explore for Vi in that one plot point alone.
#arcane#arcane ramble#vi arcane#isha arcane#caitlyn kiramman#vi and isha are really similar and it's a shame the show didn't delve more into how thatbaffected both of them#how it feels like history's repeating just with a few details fudged#it's a missed opportunity that we didn't see more of Vi's feelings on Caitlyn's occupation and the way it affected zaun#but may have altered the way zaun as a whole saw her#sure some could rationalize her stint with caitlyn as revenge oriented against gangs that sided with silco#but then caitlyn starts using the gray and “half of zaun” gets arrested in the mess#there's no way to be charitable about that#arcane spoilers
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but i'm not supposed to scratch
#undescribed#bonk.png#uninhabited planet survive#mujin wakusei survive#HOOO BOY this is extremely self indulgent bc i like fake episodes n storylines for things n sharla is my second fav of the bunch#before i forgot caption is a line from love me more by mitski n the dialogue is taken straight from wakaba's elevator scene in utena#just altered for the characters' genders obv back to yapping all the pieces were in place for sharla to have a jealousy subplot like in the#second half of the show (after adam is introduced basically) sharla n luna dont as much focus together with the secondary character to luna#shifting to kaoru bc of being more involved in directdanger all the time n sharla not being good at that stuff is relegated to the sidelines#which is something shes insecure about!! shes not as good at survival action as everyone else n doesnt have anything skills unique to her#she LITERALLY stops taking her rations of water so the others can have more bc she feels like she doesnt matter as much as the others!!#shes fairytale girl sharla which is good for morale (esp luna's) but not particularly helpful when theyve gone a few days with no food#she also is implied to have no proper friends before meeting luna in the first episode (at which point they immediately become ride or die)#with her only sort of friend being a girl she hung out with despite her being bullied n excluded who then left her for the bullies#n episode 17 is about her wanting luna to be able to rely on her with them sharing eachother's history of loneliness#the show also has a emphasis on their circumstances escalating emotions n causing them to lash out at eachother theres a episode right b4#the winter arc where howard is jealous n lashes out bc hes used to being the center of attention but no on on the island really likes himdue#to him being a brat so he soaks up adam's attention like a sponge n freaks out when adam starts favoring menori#which is understandble n somewhat easy to digest n process but you know who has a more prominent history of loneliness n abandonment who is#also prone to insecurity n thrives on someone's affection? sharla n i set this fake story line during the space criminals arc bc it doesnt#really have a lot of character work n takes place right after the winter arc with both having the characters stuck inside for most of it bc#of more direct serious danger n sharla along with chako n shingo would be stuck inside the most BUT with the criminals arc chako n shingo#are actively doing something theyre contributing but all sharla can do is watch adam while luna her bestie luna is out dealing with people#literally hunting them with kaoru who is notably better than everyone else at the whole survival action thing has become closer to lunasince#the winter arc n from what sharla has seen has no flaws or weaknesses theres specific reasons as to why i dont think her negative feelings#would be focused on the others bc for varying reasons she wouldnt feel they threaten her relationship with luna (the rationalization for#bell not being viewed as a possible threat is interesting to me bc of the similarities between him n sharla both of them bonding early on n#her being implied to have a crush on him while he explicitly has a crush on luna but thats not what we're talking about rn)#but none of those reasons really apply to kaoru n she has the reason of Him Saying He Killed Someone to feel more justified in directing#all her stress about their situation n the anxiety crawling up her throat about luna potentially choosing someone else over her onto him
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Under the influence of the Slenderman Kate's handwriting has... degraded (seen on left her usual handwriting and on right her handwriting under influence) ((also look at how cute she is...))


At first I was going to point to my headcanon of her subconjunctival hemorrhaging, but that doesn't affect sight in any way.. Though one thing of note was that the only mild discomfort one would feel is a scratchy feeling on the surface of the eye (from mayoclinic).
I feel like that miniscule annoyance would just drive her insane.. It was just another pain ontop of everything going on into her life right now she needed it gone to just focus on everything... She's rubbing her eyes constantly, practically scratching them to get that annoyance out and in turn her vision gets all blurry.. which is a very winded wording as to why she writes so big
Next is the shakiness of it that probably can be easily explained with paranoia and other illnesses.. It's hard to write properly when you're feeling hot and cold at the same time, sweat slicked to your forehead, always looking behind you and out your windows: just entirely filled with abject panic
Also the drawings accompanying the notes is likely due to how jumbled their thoughts become, anything that is easier to comprehend in their overloaded brain is good (e.g. with Brian MH, although not slendy but the op is somewhat alike, he said that his brain was filled with codes and ciphers) ((also in Kate's case, she's more.. emphathetic? In trying to help Lauren at least, so it's like the symbols that would accompany nuclear sites sorta helping..)
#this is me attempting to rationalize why all those affected by slendy just has this handwriting#but only kate because i dont know what the other ones are on#kate the chaser#kate milens hayes#kate milens#slender the arrival#slenderman#slender the eight pages#slendersickness#creepypasta#creepypasta headcanon#crp#p.screaming#kate's camera
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The way I approach love stories is so interesting, like I care not for both sexual and romantic part, both don't exactly need to be present for you to see that characters trust each other and feel safe
Same with family, platonic stuff and friendships, feelings of trust and whatever else worth so much in all of this
Love story being a love story just means it'll happen faster and more... Boldly?? Bc that's the main focus and all
Also since people love romance so much you get more stuff in the fandom win/win
Although I'd say it took me a loooong time to get into anything, because I rarely see something and go THAT'S A SHIP! nah, that's a friendship, that's cute and sweet
Then we have toxic stuff and that's the intoxicating codependency that makes me want to analyze it all, like wow those characters are horrible to each other
But I usually have like two to balance each other, bc as funny toxic stuff is, I want some sweet stuff be it a friendship or a healthy ship
#I'm a cat by nature so every time a ship is like a kind character taming a cat I just start giggling bc yay comfort food#Then there's a rational part that is offended by it bc that's not canon >:(#But comfort food affects my brain like a blanket and sweet tea in a cold day#Same with fully healthy stuff although it's really rare fir me to make them clear#But like for example that's Sifloop and Isafrin for me one is not so healthy and one is#But bonus points are that sifloop is like two cats comforting each other sometimes and that's double giggles#Anyway I'm a simple person and I care only for the specific characters ships use since I won't just read something randomly and go#'oh that's perfect' bc I need to already know everyone and their initial dynamics#Anyway before I was in fandoms I never actually did this bc I again don't have a shipper in me that was from talking to my friends#Like when I saw romance I'd go “oh sweet!” and that's it I didn't understand why should I cheer or something bc sure???#Especially those 2000s shows that made SURE to have canon pairings and I didn't understand the appeal of it all#I'm still somewhat not in the loop but take isat for example again - I did cheer when Isa finally confessed bc I enjoyed their friendquest#Which is why I was like YAY YOU DID ITTTT and was glad they know that they're here for each other romantic or not#And then you have something like SvtFoE where shipping is the main thing and it was messyyyy#Anyway! If I ever make my OC interact keep all this in mind - I'm not shipping any of my characters#Maybe they're in a toxic something but that's not a ship as well! I don't mind people doing it but if it ever happens - I don't see any#Well I do see but more as a person who's been in fandoms before and knows everyone ships everyone with each other
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first a practical magic remake and now a buffy reboot……. so we couldn’t just leave the two pieces of media i hold closest to my heart alone huh
#like. rationally i know a bad soulless remake (which is all of them atp) doesn’t actually affect the integrity of the original#but on the other hand what if we left well enough alone and invested in new ideas and not soulless nostalgia bait with an ugly wardrobe#also. buffy is all time my favorite character in any piece of media forever so i say this with love#but she should be dead by now. like even as a slayer that’s better at surviving than the ones who came before her#it’s been almost 30 years let her REST#personal
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I'm thinking about an AU where like...Ody picks up a feral kid from an island who stows away on the ship. It'd be good to get some whimsy on that ship and maybe things go better. Hope Penelope doesn't mind an extra kid + Telemachus having a wild child of a little sibling now. Very overly enthusiastic, half the crew is terrified, other half is like "yeah the kid has good survival technique ideas." Ody is like, "please stop gleefully mopping the bloodied castle" after kid decides to be helpful. Proceeds to kick a suitors head out of the hallway so OdyPen can walk around together peacefully.
excuse you, that child is helping!!! Ody, Telemachus, and Penelope are reuniting and tired and this child, out of the goodness of their heart is cleaning the palace (with aid of course) 😤
they don’t need to bc by that point their an official ward of the palace, but it the thought that counts (they totally loot the suitor’s stuff in the process)
#but yeah Ody and his men having a child along for their trip would be so fun!#(and why i still daydream about what if Ody didn’t throw the infant from the wall of Troy)#you’d have Polites spoiling them while Eurylochus is now calculating rations for 600 men + child. what to entertain them bc space is small#Ody daydreaming about Telemachus (imma say he projects some of his desires of being the dad he wanted to be sans Troy on the kid)#and i am already team big brother Telemachus so when Ody arrives with a kid Telemachus is so onboard bc now HE gets to tell#the kiddo tales and play with them and educate them about Ithaca (they have been given a rundown by the crew but the kid indulges)#Penelope is apprehensive at first bc it’s definitely not HER kid but it does not look like Ody#and she knows her husband inside and out#so after the apprehension is appeased Penelope is onboard for a new kid#she knows how lonely her son was I. Those years they waited for their missing family to return#(and sure we can speculate over whether or not the kid can get past Zeus’s Lightning bolt but imma ignore that for now)#(we will all assume the kid just survives it all and is there with Ody even if other crew members aren’t)#asks#epic the musical#the odyssey#(actually wait what if the kid was from Calypso’s island? 👀 washed ashore long ago and stayed bc Calypso refused to let them go)#(she projects her dreams of caring for another at the corner of the child ever growing/aging. they have been a child for so long)#(a blessing and curse. they do not envy Calypso’s difference of affection for Ody. but they do not refuse when offered a chance to leave)
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watching NANA (an anime w heavy romance themes) to forget abt the absolute trainwreck 11:54am was
#i have negative rizz.#actually no i dont i get bitches!?#anyhow. so i still cant breathe properly (its been 7 hours or so)#its not even that bad it ended pretty well actually#but anytime i encounter a scenerio that directly affecte or is affected by my emotions#i lose all rationality#what is better unknown ambiguity bc its unknown or known ambiguity?#ok yeah i fucked this up#neo impersonating nestor
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so.
I burned through a lot of money this month. A lot of the stuff I got was long overdue, like a desk and a chair to replace the ones that I got in uni and 18 year old me was okay sitting at, but that has been killing the back of 34 year old me for a while now. Got some storage. Some stuff for the kitchen. Stuff to help with food preservation. So many jars and tin cans. RAM and an SSD for the old laptops. Power banks for the unavoidable power outages. Emergency lights. Stuff to properly insulate the windows and doors this winter. Some warm clothes cause I was severely lacking those. I then treated myself to some games that I have been wanting to play since forever, and I got my mum, my cousin, and her daughter some stuff as well because I feel bad spending on just myself. Even the dog got treats. It was a lot.
Hell, if I worked my ass off all summer and then some, I think I deserve to enjoy it.
#i feel pretty fucking exhausted too and im having a hard time slowling down but it feels nice to just be in this house now#ive been working from home for the last stretch because we collectively get a lot more done that way#like mum has been handling my clients in person and brings me their stuff to work on#in exchange of me taking care of her simpler jobs that were taking up too much of her time#i mostly just left the house to go to the farm#btw a lot of the hive that arrived out of nowhere this year turned out to just be passing by#they did their thing and left a couple weeks ago#they seem to be on the move constantly since there were too many wasps everywhere this year#also the grape yield wasn't very good#the whole area seems to have been affected by the same pest this year so we only made like 250L of cider where we often get 500L#tbf we don't sell that one#we drink it#we're gonna have to ration it this year#anyway i also managed to quit coffee entirely and right before it got outrageously expensive#since I had a lot of tea I figured I might as well drink just that#things are beginnning to slow down now#i hope my brain gets the hint soon#im gonna need a lot of rest#now if you excuse me#i need to put another 35 hours into my jrpgs
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