#Red Dates

[buffetlicious]

Peach Gum (桃胶) is the resin from Chinese wild peach trees (Prunus persica). When the tree bark is wounded, a sticky substance is released and hardens upon exposure to air. This crystalline form of the gum is collected and dried to form the golden nuggets we see on the market.

In traditional Chinese medicine, peach gum is used to nourish the skin, enhance elasticity, and promote a youthful appearance. It is also believed to have digestive, respiratory, and immune system benefits. In cooking, peach gum is soaked in water until it softens and becomes gelatinous. It is then added to desserts, soups, and sweet beverages as a natural thickener and to enhance texture. Sis prepared this Peach Gum & White Fungus Sweet Soup (桃胶白木耳糖水) using pre-soaked peach gum, white fungus, lotus seeds, wolfberries and red dates. It is boiled over low heat and allowed to simmer for about 15 minutes else the gum might dissolve.

Select images from here.

[paintedimagery]

This is stupid, I spent too long on this lmao

[ratan0706]

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[prlssprfctn]

I think it would be so fucking funny if Bruce and Jason constantly treated Gotham (city) like a real person, and spoke about it in a strange, codependent way. Like, hearing this without a context definitely feels like they are talking about their girlfriends or something. And the rest of the family is, like, concerned.

Dick, just adopted: So, when I was in circus, we constantly travelled around! That's, like, so cool! Will we travel a lot, too?

Bruce, sighing: I used to, but she keeps calling for me. I can't really leave her alone.

Dick, confused: Your girlfriend?..

Bruce: What?

Bruce: Gotham.

Dick: whoa, WHAT

Bruce, sitting with a half-smile and little cake on the table: Good morning

Tim, who only used to see Bruce depressed during the whole year: Woah, it is someone's birthday?

Bruce: Of course. It is her day

Tim: Uh-h... Catwoman's?

Bruce: What? No, no, Gotham's?

Tim: ...What the hell. Sure.

Then Jason comes back, assured that he and Gotham are locked like that. They are besties. Gotham loves him — she brought him back. The rest of the family genuinely starts to think that both of them are specifically fucked up in the head on the level others aren't.

Jason: My life was rough, but she was here when I needed her the most. Her hands cradled me in life — then death. I am so grateful.

Damian, confused: Are you speaking of my mother, Todd?

Jason: Talia is great, but I meant Gotham.

Damian: Gotham?..

Bruce, passing by: Isn't she the best?

Jason: Hate to agree with old man, but, yeah.

Damian: *_*

Roy, staring at Jason, who is complaining on Bruce again after a patrol: Remind me again, why can't you work in another city? Even country. You love France. Move out!

Jason, frowning: There is no way I am leaving her.

Kori, confused: Her? You got a girlfriend?

Jason: ???

Jason: GOTHAM??? I AM TALKING ABOUT GOTHAM.

Kori: ...

Roy: Crowbar crowbar-ed a little close to the sun?

The Batfamily: (Voting to which city/country they want to have their family trip)

Dick, counting down anonymous voices: Alright, two votes for China. Three for Italy. One vote for Spain. And...

Dick, with his eye twitching: Two votes for Gotham. Really?

Everyone: (turn to Bruce and Jason)

Bruce and Jason, synchronically: Okay, hear me out—

[everwalldigan]

Only those who have seen the light know that Bruce Wayne is absolutely the type of annoying father who asks for his adult children for grandkids EVERY chance possible. This is the same man who immediately put in his two weeks notice from batman-ing the MINUTE he discovered he had a granddaughter.

Bruce, materialising in bludhaven: when are you and Barbara getting married

Dick: NO.

Bruce: *sad GRANDCHILDLESS noises*

Bruce, materialising in crime alley: when you are going to settle down with a nice girl or guy and give me a-

Jason: *starts shooting*

Bruce, materialising in the clocktower:

Babs: don’t even fucking think about it

Bruce: *dematerialises away sadly*

Finally, at the annual family dinner, Bruce: whoever is the first to bring me a grandchild will be banned from ever having to take over batman

[sleepysundial]

very very dumb and silly ms paint doodles of drunk merc headcanons teehee

devastatingly left out pyro because i do not know how to characterise them 🙏sorry pyro lovers update: there is pyro now :)

[himejoshiangels]

btw important clarification: Duke chose the morning shift himself. the sentiment that bruce needed someone to patrol in the morning is straight up untrue, duke's early training was right beside batman solving crimes and chasing criminals at night but as he was figuring out his place in the Gotham vigilante scene working at night just did not work for him. Eventually he chose to work during the daytime specifically because of his mother's ideology, that it's easier to recognize truth in the light, and because it allows him better direct access to the people of Gotham.

Duke is a very community centered character. He is big on his beliefs about it and redemption. Saying Bruce chose the day for him removes Duke's agency as a character and is a fundamental misunderstanding of him. He was Gothams robin (not batman's) for a reason. he was going to do his "protect and uplift the community by any means" thing no matter what, he was doing it before he even met bruce and it was the reason they met in the first place. he works in the morning because it's where the people are and it's the best way to see them in all their truths and complexities and for them to see him and know that everything is going to be okay

[floyumei]

fave exes lol

(just 2 exes turned pseudo siblings rizzing everyone up)

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FINALLY. AFTER 2 WEEKS OF PROCRASTINATION LOL

[a-l123-123l-universe]

No but if Jason did his whole red hood thing after Damian came to the manor and the two bonded in the league no way would Damian let anyone know about their relationship. It gives him sooo much power over Jason and he’s possessive, that’s his brother no way is he letting anyone steal him.

On patrol he acts normal towards red hood adding critiques when possible (you can’t not bully your sibling) but it’s done professionally to not raise suspicion. After school though he hangs out at his “friends” house. no he doesn’t need Alfred to give him a ride does, Bruce not trust him to hangout with one of the few friends he has? It works perfectly because the Batfam are just happy that Damian was able to make a friend in school and Damian gets to hang out with his brother. (He did make Jason take in a pigeon he found on patrol and it’s 70% of the reason why he visits).

[mamma-mia-mammon]

saw this and felt inspired, 10k and i draw mammon with the cute little red ribbon choker

[1-800-luvmail]

hopeless romantic! jason todd who thinks cheesy pick up lines are stupid, and that surely, the shakespearian shit is gonna work on hinge

hopeless romantic! jason todd who doesn't get why everyone he tries to match with doesnt fw his poetic bars (hes TRYING)

hopeless romantic! jason todd who finally, FINALLY gets a match. he has to put his phone down for a million years just to process everything and then glances back down at his screen to make sure it's still there.

how is someone is genuinely that stunning?

hopeless romantic! jason todd who feels like he's fumbling every time his messages you. if he had less pride, he'd probably ask dick for advice, but no, fuck that, he can do things on his own. it'd be humiliating to beg for romantic advice from him.

at least you seem amused by jason's antics. even if he does seem mildly inept with flirting. dork.

hopeless romantic! jason todd who makes sure to ask about your favourite flowers to get you a bouquet of them for your first date and meet up

hopeless romantic! jason todd who drops said flowers when he finally sees you in person and loses all his words and cognitive function for a moment when you say hi and greet him with a friendly hug. yeah he's not surviving the date.

completely and utterly hopeless! jason todd when the date goes incredible. he walks you home because... obviously? it's gotham and it's dark.

you leave him with a kiss on his cheek and the promise of seeing him sometime again, and he just knows he's a goner.

[transvampireboyfriend]

based on the scene with Nancy and Robin and how upset Steve is that he can't seduce that man, I propose:

Steve would try to fuck every DnD npc whose description sounds mildly attractive to him.

And maybe, coincidentally, the first couple of times it's girl characters, so no one bats an eye when he does the equivalent of sauntering over with a "hi :)".

But then it's a man, a guard maybe and everyone is suspicious at first, but it works. Steve wins him over and it works to their advantage, so no further discussion is needed.

Except, then it starts to become a habit. He beds a prince, a bard, a couple of maids and queens, an elf. Tries an orc, gets killed about it.

And it's so ridiculous, because at least once every session Eddie will introduce someone and Steve will go "I'm gonna sleep with them"

Everyone: "Steve. You don't have to-"

Steve: "I'm gonna"

Everyone: "No one's asking you to-"

Steve: "I approach them with a proposition"

Everyone: "UGH 🙄"

[prlssprfctn]

Another Crack!Au with Red Hood's goons because I love them this much: Jason Peter Todd comes back alive legally for the rest of the world, and now Red Hood Inc. is sure that their boss is crushing on that boy. Proofs? P l e n t y.

Proof number one: their boss *giggles* when TV shows some of Jason's funny jokes from his new interviews. Well, his giggle surely sounds ominous behind the voice modulator, but it is clearly a girlish giggle.

Red Hood, hitting the table in the fit of laughter: Gosh, this one was absolutely hilarious. Like, the subtle shadowing and literature reference? Good one, good one... I should joke like this more.

Goons, staring in awe: Yeah, boss, he is so funny. You think so, too, right?

Red Hood, amused: You like him? Good fucking choice, good fucking choice.

Proof number two: Red Hood starts hating Joker even more once the publicity finds out that Jason Todd was considered dead because he was under the witness protection system due to seeing Joker killing the Second Robin.

Red Hood, murmuring: This is fucking ridicilous. Witness protection system, my ass. I mean—

Goons, exicted: Boss, this is just another proof that Joker shall be dead!

Goons, thinking that killing Joker could definitely impress Jason, so he would go out with their boss: I am sure that kid will like this clown dead more!

Red Hood, who just thinks that they are empathetic and worried like that: You think so too? Good work, guys. Really. I appreciate you.

Proof number three aka. the most convincing one: Red Hood doesn't even try to beat these allegations. Case in point:

Goons: Bossman, we have a game for you. Hug, marry, kill — but it is the oldest male members of the Wayne family. Bruce Wayne, Richard Grayson-Wayne, and Jason Todd-Wayne.

Red Hood, with his face turning into disgust, because what a one can choose there in HIS case: Uh, kill Bruce. I guess, hug Dick boy. Uh, marry Jason?

Goons: YES!!!

Red Hood, confused: Are you fans or something—

[fullcravings]

Red Wine Chocolate Cake

[tchtokyo]

The various stages of roy and jason relationship by the batfam + clark.

(I'm hyper fixating in this ship I'm sorry)

Denial

Jason: me and roy are dating.

Damian: what kind of joke is this, jason?!?!

Jason: it's real, demon brat.

Damian: I refuse to believe that someone related to me committed such atrocity by fornicating with such individual!

Jason: what?

Damian: I think you should start finding funnier jokes, jason.

Anger

Jason: I'm dating roy.

Dick: Wft?!?! Why is my friend who's older than you dating a child?!?!

Jason: this feels familiar

Dick: is he threatening you?!?! Omg I'm going to beat the shit out of him right now!

Jason: stop, please, keep those weapons away!

Dick: I'm going to kill you roy harper!

Bargaining

Jason: me and roy are dating.

Tim: are you sure that's your choice?

Jason: what?

Tim: *pulls a folder out of nowhere* I have hundred better options than roy. Here this one has a pharmaceutical company and is a bottom.

Jason: yall are crazy.

Depression

Jason: I'm dating roy.

Bruce: Oliver's kid?!?!

Jason: yeah

Bruce: *tears up a bit* my small child is dating a queen kid??

Jason: I'm a grown man!?!?

Bruce: *head in hands* my small child is with a disappointment.

Jason: this is getting ridiculous!

Acceptance

Jason: I'm dating roy.

Alfred and clark: *look at each other*

Alfred: is this recent?

Jason: it's been six months.

Clark: does he makes you happy?

Jason: *blushing a little* yeah

Alfred: well then, master jason, please bring him over for dinner next Friday, I'd like to meet the one that makes my grandson happy.

Clark: *nodding* yeah I wanna meet this roy!

Jason: *tearing up* tHanK YoU

[bruciemilf]

Jason's terribly prolific with technology, okay?

He can hack into the Batcomputer like a surgeon carving life back in someone. He can reassemble twelve types of guns in under two minutes. He can beat STEPH at Mario Kart.

Wayne Phones are just STUPID.

Yes, he wears grandpa glasses, propped up to the bridge of his nose. These multi-colored squares are too small for his fingers, and he can't read the text. This would be way easier with buttons.

Dick, a deserter to his last breath, could help, oh, he could. He just thinks it’s funnier to let Bruce do it. Hovering over Jason’s shoulder, mirroring his deep scowl, like they’re from the same bone.

“Sweetheart, there’s no actual ‘willing hot babes in your area’. That’s a dark web link.”

“Who the fuck is SIRI? How do I make her LEAVE?!”

Whatever. He’ll get it right. Eventually.

Why is Tim grinning, and who came up with ‘Tinder’?