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cyberbenb · 6 months ago

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As Russian losses in Ukraine mount, Putin faces ‘devastating’ demographic timebomb

Russian losses in Ukraine are helping fuel a demographic timebomb that could see the country’s population reduced by half by the end of the century, experts have told the Kyiv Independent.

“The impact on Russian society is devastating,” said Harley Balzer, emeritus professor of government and international affairs at Georgetown University.

“From Russia’s perspective, (winning the war in Ukraine) is the smaller problem. The bigger issue is, is it going to be a viable country afterward regardless?”

Russia’s rising losses

According to Ukrainian figures, on Jan. 7, Russian losses passed another grim milestone, surpassing 800,000. The figures from the General Staff of Ukraine’s Armed Forces do not specify killed or wounded. The overall consensus is that it includes dead, wounded, missing, and captured.

According to Ukraine’s Commander-in-Chief Oleksandr Syrskyi, more than half of these losses — 427,000 — occurred during 2024, accelerating as the year progressed with no sign of slowing.

The bodies of killed Russian soldiers in the Bakhmut area in Donetsk Oblast, Ukraine. June 29, 2024 (Pablo Miranzo/Anadolu via Getty Images)

Russian forces suffered their deadliest day since the start of the full-scale invasion on Dec. 19, taking 2,200 casualties.

For comparison, the U.K. suffered 750,000 military casualties during the six years of World War II.

Ukraine has published daily estimates of the number of killed and wounded Russian soldiers since the early days of the full-scale invasion.

Initially, there was some skepticism about how accurate the numbers were, but as Ukraine’s Western allies began to publicly release their own estimates of Russian losses, they have been broadly in line with those coming out of Kyiv.

Russian troops overrun Kurakhove, approach Pokrovsk east, south, and southwest

Russia keeps on advancing in eastern Donetsk Oblast, taking hold of Kurakhove, which would become the first major town to fall into Russian hands in 2025. Russian troops are continuing to push on the Lyman, Siversk, Kramatorsk, Toretsk, Pokrovsk and Kurakhove axes, Ukraine’s General Staff said in i…

The Kyiv IndependentKateryna Denisova

Russia’s historic demographic issues

Compounding the staggering losses sustained during the full-scale invasion of Ukraine is the fact Russia was already facing severe demographic issues before it launched the full-scale war.

“The Russian Federation was trapped long before its invasion of Ukraine in what I described as a demographic straitjacket,” Nicholas Eberstadt, who holds the Henry Wendt Chair in Political Economy at the American Enterprise Institute (AEI), told the Kyiv Independent.

“The Russian Federation was trapped long before its invasion of Ukraine in what I described as a demographic straitjacket.”

Eberstadt says that in terms of many indicators such as urbanization, education attainment levels, and family formation patters, Russia presents as a “typical European country.”

“What's not at all typical European is the very low level of human capital that we see in Russian Federation,” he says.

Elderly people sing songs to the accordion in Voronezh, Russia, on May 9, 2022. (Mihail Siergiejevicz/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

People attend a farewell ceremony for Sergei Sokolov, the 21-year-old serviceman who was killed during the Russian invasion of Ukraine, in Zubkovo, Novosibirsk region, Russia, on March 24, 2022. (Rostislav Netisov / AFP via Getty Images)

“Life expectancy for young men is on par with a fourth-world country. Life expectancy at age 15 for a Russian man right before the (COVID-19) pandemic was about the same as his counterpart in Haiti.”

A large study into why Russian males had such short life expectancies published in 2014 concluded one of the main factors in early deaths was excessive alcohol consumption.

Other factors cited in a more recent investigation last year by the independent Russian media outlet Cherta, included high rates of murder, suicide, car crashes, and other fatal accidents.

Garry Kasparov on modern Russian empire

The Kyiv Independent’s Kate Tsurkan discusses with Garry Kasparov, Russian chess grandmaster and political activist based in the U.S., the current state of Russia, its continued pursuit of empire and the failures of the Russian opposition to create meaningful change.

The Kyiv IndependentKate Tsurkan

Russia’s declining birth rates

On top of this, Russia has long-faced a decline in birth rates which Eberstadt says started to go down after 2015.

“Demographers look at what they call a total fertility rate (TFR) which is births per women,” Eberstadt says, adding: “You need basically 2.1 in most countries to maintain your population.”

According to figures from the World Bank, Russia’s TFR was last at 2.1 in 1988. After declining steadily it began to rise again after 2000, but only reached a peak of around 1.8 in 2015, before falling again to 1.4 by 2022.

Recognizing the impending demographic timebomb, Russian President Vladimir Putin has gone to great lengths to encourage his people to have more babies.

Some of the efforts from the Kremlin have been relatively benign, with Putin simply calling on women to get pregnant for the sake of the country.

“If we want to survive as an ethnic group — well, or as ethnic groups inhabiting Russia — there must be at least two children (per family)," he said in a speech in February last year.

Other efforts, such as a crackdown on access to abortions, have been far more insidious.

Yet even with these efforts, the Kremlin only hopes to reach a TFR of 1.8 by 2036, far below the 2.1 needed to sustain the Russian population, estimated to be around 146 million currently.

Russian President Vladimir Putin smiles during his meeting with participants of the contest for families with many children, while visiting the All-Russian Exhibition Center in Moscow, Russia, on July 8, 2024. (Contributor / Getty Images)

A pedestrian walks near a residential building housing the local branch of Russia's ruling party, United Russia, with its emblem bear and a patriotic mural on the wall in Chekhov, Russia, on February 11, 2023. (Yuri Kadobnov / AFP via Getty Images)

And one of the biggest obstacles to achieving this goal is the war in Ukraine, though it’s more complicated than simply having fewer men around to father children.

“The number of dead soldiers, especially given how many of them are 40 to 60-years-old, is not the crucial thing here,” Balzer says, adding: “The crucial thing is what it's doing to Russian society.”

Balzar points to the soaring rates of PTSD and alcohol and drug addiction among Russian soldiers returning home, as well as an increase in murder and violent crime incidents involving veterans.

“That's an environment where people are anxious to have more children,” Balzer says.

The ‘Russian paradox’

Declining populations and low TFRs are not problems faced only by Russia — many developed nations currently have TFRs below 2.1, including the U.S. (1.7) and the U.K. (1.6).

“The whole world is facing what might be a 25% decline in population by the end of the century, but Russia is going to be a lot worse,” Balzer says. “Some demographers are suggesting that Russia's population in 2100 will be half of what it is today.”

“It doesn't have to be, but if Putin wants to keep fighting this war, it is going to make it a lot worse.”

Aside from declining birth rates, there’s also what Eberstadt refers to as the “Russian paradox.”

While the populations of developed nations, even while in decline numerically, continue to innovate and contribute to the fields of science, technology, and general progress, Russia remains somewhat of a backwater despite having relatively high levels of education.

“There's a huge pool of talent in (Russia), really impressive talent,” Eberstadt says. “What's mysterious, if not bizarre, is how little of that talent nowadays translates into productive knowledge or into economic wealth.”

Faced with half the current population, Russia will struggle even more to be what Balzer referred to as a “viable country.”

Russia ‘delusional’ about its ability to sustain Ukraine war, says Latvian foreign minister

As Russia’s full-scale war against Ukraine nears its fourth year, a worsening battlefield situation and the election of Donald Trump to the U.S. presidency signal that the war could soon be entering a volatile and unpredictable endgame. In anticipation of a potential Trump-negotiated ceasefire, Kyi…

The Kyiv IndependentFrancis Farrell

What does this mean for the war in Ukraine?

Although the future looks bleak for Russia, any negative effects of an impending demographic crisis are unlikely to occur soon enough to stop its ongoing full-scale invasion of Ukraine.

“If Putin is all out… then he doesn't really care (about the demographic crisis),” John Foreman CBE, the U.K.'s former defense attache in Moscow from 2019 to 2022, told the Kyiv Independent. “Putin's willing to sacrifice absolutely everything for the front.”

“And it seems to me that they have just about enough troops and volunteers and others to keep the fight going. It's not about absolute numbers, it's about relative numbers, and at the same time, Ukraine is suffering its own problems,” he adds.

A woman visits a designated area for commemorating fallen Ukrainian and foreign fighters during the Independence Day of Ukraine in the Independence Square in Kyiv, Ukraine, on Aug. 24, 2024. (Roman Pilipey / AFP via Getty Images)

Ukraine also faces its own demographic crisis, albeit one largely forced upon it by Russia.

Ukraine's population has declined by over 10 million since Russia first invaded in 2014 and fell to an estimated 37 million by January 2024.

“It's a race to the bottom,” Foreman says, adding: “It's basically which side can stay in the longest.”

As Russians inch closer to Pokrovsk, civilians in the area are left with a choice — stay under fire or leave life behind

BILOZERSKE, Donetsk Oblast — Less than 30 kilometers north of embattled Pokrovsk, a market was in full swing in the town of Bilozerske. Meters away, however, a crowd has gathered in front of a building, nervously awaiting the doors to open. Tensions were visibly mounting as the doors remained close…

The Kyiv IndependentEmmanuelle Chaze

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wabatle · 6 months ago

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me when I decide to play block blast in homeroom even tho phones aren't allowed during class and I get a text from none other than my crush himself asking abt english. I'm a paranoid fuck who thought they were gonna get caught so I told him and he said 🤭 (also he's russian. hence the colder joke)

also one of my friends stole my phone to talk to him 💔💔 she told him I belong in a straitjacket in a padded room 💔💔 also I said id square up w him and he was fr about to do so I got terrified 😭

all of my friends have been playing block blast at school too... I don't understand the hype 💔

#‹𝟹 — emi answering #‹𝟹 — emi's mutuals!#lee heeseung's wife 😇

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tyrianblizzard · 4 years ago

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Funny story: I posted this on DA and not only did I find out that Agafya’s head was poking out like the guy on the album of Jack Stauber’s Micropop album, but I forgot that straitjackets were a fetish so she just was poking her head around a few fetish albums.

If you are a fan of my page or my youtube channel, you may know this girl as Sarah Comic: now an Ex-Wife and a convicted criminal. In Art Angels, she has spent 11 years in a mental institution. She has taken up her birth name, only speaks in her native language, and her already poor mental health only diminished. Agafya still wants to be a mother, she still wants to guide her children, but she is too deep in her psychosis for her to be unable to do that. "Talent show? What are you going to do?" "I'm going to sing Kill V. Maim" "Why that song?" "To let them know that I am nothing like you." "Do you think you have that kind of power?" "What does that mean?" "You think that a song would prove your point? Anna, not even I had that kind of power, what makes you think you do?"

#straitjacket #insane asylum #faded hair #big eyes #creepy #ibispaintx #digital drawing #furry oc #russian oc #this is what happens when you kill eighteen people for funzies.#demisexual

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wandabear · 2 years ago

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GIVE YOUR HEART A BREAK - WANDA MAXIMOFF X F!READER

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Summary: Wanda lost everything and it's hard for her to open her heart, but someone like Y/N's isn't going to give up anytime soon. So many times where Y/N tries to get closer but Wanda ignores her, and one where it's the other way around. A request based on the song 'Give Your Heart a Break'. Emobaby Wanda is trying. Enjoy @imnotasuperhero! Request here.

Chapter Iㅤ | ㅤChapter II

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As you know me, Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane.ㅤ

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ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ CHAPTER II: ONE LAST TIME

The world changed. Not just for her, but for everyone.

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With her look lost in some point inside that cell, Wanda kept quiet, wondering why the hell she agreed to go on that mission in Lagos. Mission where she made the biggest mistake of her life and because of that, the Sokovia Accords were created and therefore, she ran away with Clint from Stark's house to fight with Steve in Germany. Everything was chaos in a matter of hours.

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Now locked away in some remote part of the world, with a straitjacket and a stupid Stark tech collar so she couldn't use her powers, Wanda was just devastated, she allowed herself to shed a tear.

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'Please, stay with me. Don’t go…'

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Wanda remembered Y/N's words and closed her eyes, cursing herself. Why didn't she listen to her? Why didn't she stay with her that night? Sharing the warmth of the bed, just feeling Y/N’s heartbeat, the sound of her breath.

Now that picture seemed so far away.

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‘How do you feel now? You freak.’ The raspy voice of one of the guards was heard, but she didn’t allow herself to see that disgusting man. Wanda clenched her jaw and held on until he left, she wasn't going to let him see her defeated like that, how the icy cold sadness embraced her.

All she could think about was Y/N, just her, to survive.

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"Don't listen to him, kiddo."

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She heard Clint's voice since his cell was next to hers, trying to comfort her in some way, so she wouldn't feel alone. Too late.

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The lights flash for a few seconds, drawing everyone's attention. Before the guards could say anything, a blackout darkened the entire place. The surrounding darkness made Clint and Sam lean against the bars and talk to each other, though Wanda couldn't even move.

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The sound of many men falling down made her feel nervous, what if it was Hydra again? No, they were already defeated. But what if it was someone else?

She had never felt so vulnerable. The anxiety began to devour her slowly until that voice brought hope back to her shattered heart.

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“I told you that no matter what, if you need me... I'll be there.”

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Like a beautiful sunrise, a smile was born on Wanda's lips; Steve was there. Next to him, Natasha was ready to get her friends out of there. Whatever it takes.

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“Are you sure?” The Sokovian asked feeling her heart race, taking the folder with shaky hands. She was in a van with her best friend, trying to go unnoticed. Wanda wearing sunglasses and a beanie to appease the cold while Natasha just left her recent blonde hair loose.

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“Safe as houses.” The russian spy sighed, noticing how Wanda was looking at the pictures in the folder. “She still goes to that café, not as often but… she does.”

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The pictures showed Y/N graduating, some in the cafe talking with Jules, some of the brunette listening to music with her headphones on the subway.

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“How long have you been following her?” Wanda asked, her fingers running gently over the picture. Oh, how long it had been without seeing her. Especially when they were running from one place to another to avoid being caught.

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“Since we got rid of Ross in Spain.” Natasha glanced sideways at the picture. “Plus, the barista is kinda cute.”

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Wanda raised an eyebrow, turning to see her.

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“What? She’s cute.” Natasha rolled her eyes. “Apparently she’s her friend now. Thanks to that I was able to find out more about your girl.”

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“Flirting with the barista?”

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“Someday she will stop being the barista and will be the owner, she has dreams... she's different from us. From me.” The currently blonde handed her the binocular so Wanda could watch. “Anyway, Y/N's still single, she finished Med School, although it was delayed a bit when you disappeared. Now she’s doing the residence.”

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“Still looking beautiful.” Wanda sighed as she watched Y/N from a distance. The brunette was at her table, writing something in her notebook and listening music on her headphones. This time she wasn’t wearing her leather jacket, she was wearing a grey hoodie that Wanda recognized perfectly because it was hers. Her heart melted. “She changed her hair style a bit.”

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“We can say we understand her. She needs to blend.”

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Wanda sighed and put the folder aside. “What else do you have?”

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“Wanda.” Natasha tried to get her attention. “I think it's time to face it. We have no time for doubts.”

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The redhead sighed and shook her head.

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“Now?” Wanda hesitated for a moment, really worried. What if Y/N didn't want to see her anymore? Or call the police? Or worse... what if... “What if she hates me?”

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“We don’t have much time, we should fly to Scotland in a few hours.” Natasha grabbed her keys, ready to get out of the truck. “It may be the last time you see her.”

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Remaining thoughtful and silent for a moment, Wanda looked out the window once more. This was her chance, she must take it or let it go. But she had to choose now.

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“Let’s go.”

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“Here you have, my friend. ” The barista set the coffee mug next to Y/N, sitting down next to her. "Just the way you like it."

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“Thank you, you're the best.” Y/N smiled kindly and drank some of it, but not before adding two tablespoons of sugar. “That guy bothered you again?”

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Jules shook her head.

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“No, he was snooping around for a while, but when I told Ross that Wanda was only here for coffee and they did the ‘truth test’ to me with that stupid weird machine, he left me alone. Plus, Matt Murdock helped me as the most caring and amazing defense attorney in the world. ” The barista leaned on the table to play with a sugar packet. “I'm glad your friend deleted the videos… from the cameras, you know.”

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“It was nothing nothing, Daisy said she didn't leave any traces.” Y/N sighed deeply, remembering that in those videos you could see how Wanda and her met for the first time. How difficult was to erase them from existence. Now those memories remained only in her memory.

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Seeing the melancholy in her friend's eyes, Jules asked: “Did she call you already? Or something...”

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“No…” Y/N sighed a bit tired, putting her laptop aside. “Though I did find out some stuff, Daisy didn't know as much as I expected, I must admit, but she taught me a few tricks.”

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“How about Tony Stark?” Jules narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “He must know where she is, or if you can see her. At least! I mean… she’s your girlfriend!”

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“But nobody knows that we are girlfriends, and it’s the safest thing for her, I haven't been near Stark Tower since the last time we tried to get in and you got locked up.”

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Jules tried not to laugh at the memory. “But it was worth it, wasn't it?”

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Y/N smiled when she remembered that moment, of course she was able to intrude in the place thanks to Jules making a fuss in the main room. What it cost her to be questioned by the General Ross himself about twenty-four hours. And Y/N being 'kindly' kicked out by a some kind man with a scruffy beard that everyone called 'Happy'.

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The door bell rang again as two customers entered the café. Jules walked over to take the order but smiled widely when she saw it was the blonde.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ Y/N smiled, the crush Jules had with that stranger reminded her of herself. She just turned her gaze to her laptop to continue with that job.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ “Hey.” Jules grinned, resting her hands on the counter. “You came back.”

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“Yeah.” Natasha nodded and pointed to the person behind her, who was looking at the ground a bit shy. “I brought a friend, I think she will really like your coffee.”

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“Oh, a friend…” The smile on Jules's lips began to fade, she felt her chest deflate for a moment until Natasha's 'friend' removed her sunglasses. She could finally recognize her, with a different hair color, sure, but it was her. “Oh my… goddess.”

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The barista turned on the coffee machine to make some noise, necessary so that no one would hear them. Not even Y/N who was sitting with her back to them.

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“You’re here! We thought you were locked up somewhere! We saw you on TV!” Jules picked up two disposable coffee cups, writing two random names on them. “You looked so badass, by the way.”

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“Please, don’t say anything.” Wanda whispered trying to go unnoticed, worried there would be bugs. “Can I trust that you won't rat us out?”

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“You have my word, she’s there alone. Go…” Jules whispered and then cleared her throat, raising her voice again: “Sure! It's four bucks for both lattes.”

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“Thank you, Jules.” Wanda whispered and walked away from her, Natasha stayed talking to Jules and making sure no strangers entered the place. Wanda smiled when she heard 'you didn't tell me you were an avenger! I thought your name was Natalie!'

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Each step towards her made the heartbeat increase, what to say? How? Wanda watched Y/N's back and how she scratched her head trying to think. Oh, she loved that. She was so adorable.

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Wanda took a deep breath, working up all the courage to take a seat across from her. Unlike the first times they'd met, Wanda this time sat down and stayed there until Y/N looked away from her laptop.

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“Sorry, this place is taken…” Y/N started but then her jaw drop open. Wide open eyes, her heart skipped a beat.

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Wanda was there, with the cutest shy smile and that lovely reddish hair contrasting against her skin. Although those green eyes showed so much nostalgia, this time the tears were of joy, to see Y/N again.

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“Wanda...” Y/N gasped, quickly getting up to hug her tightly. Between giggles and tears, Y/N buried her face in the redhead's neck to sniff her scent, feel her presence once more and make sure she wasn't crazy.

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She was there. After so long they were together again. In the distance, her friends watched them smiling and happy.

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“Are you okay?!" The brunette took the face of her beloved in her hands, still unable to believe that she was there. Her Wanda.

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“I’m fine, detka.” The sokovian nodded quickly, smiling through the tears. Without thinking about it anymore, without caring about the consequences, Wanda ended the distance and kissed the lips of that woman she loved, the one who had her crazy since the first day they met.

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The warmth of her mouth, the need to feel her one more time. Both were lost in that kiss until they both needed oxygen. Y/N rested her forehead against Wanda's for a few seconds, until they decided to sit down. They had to keep up appearances.

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“We thought you were locked up in that awful prison.” The brunette sighed taking Wanda’s hand.

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“I was, but we were able to escape.” Wanda said in a low voice, closing her eyes as she felt that soft caress. She hadn't felt something like that for so long. “I missed you, lyubov.”

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Oh, she missed that Sokovian accent so much.

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“I missed you so much, Wands.” She felt a tear escape, down her cheek but she soon brushed it away. “You never told me you were an avenger.”

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“I'm sorry.” Wanda bit her lower lip, trying to swallow the pain. “I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth, I wanted you to be for me, just for me… for this to be different from what I had. I was afraid you'd be scared.”

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“It's okay.” Y/N nodded. “Although I really didn't think that was it, just that maybe you were involved in some weird shit, some strange cult or something.”

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They both laughed together once more, feeling that maybe for a moment everything was back to normal.

The warmth in Wanda’s belly mixed with the pain in her chest, everything she had in front of her and couldn't keep. Damn it. She now she understood the pain, now she understood what Nat told her, now walking away would hurt even more.

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“I'm sorry I left that night.” Wanda whispered regretfully.

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“Okay, I understand why you did it.” Y/N nodded. “I'm proud of you.”

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'I'm proud of you'. Such simple words, yet so powerful. Enough to make Wanda shed a few tears, of happiness and sadness at the same time.

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“I can't stay.” You can hear the deep pain in her voice.

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Y/N smiled tenderly. “I know.”

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They both spent a while catching up on everything that happened, until Y/N began to look for something in her bag.

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“Take this.” Y/N handed her a small device that she put in the redhead's pocket. “It looks like a tamagotchi, right? It's funny. Every time you want to send me a message, you have to open this app. And send it to me.”

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“I don't think I can have this where I'm going, detka.” Wanda looked at her tenderly but Y/N shook her head, giving it to her anyway.

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“A friend did it for me, it's very reliable. It's encrypted, many layers of encryption, it is even necessary to do it from a specific place, really impossible to trace. I had the idea a while ago, I figured you'd come someday. So, I asked her to do it because she owed me.”

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“Who?” Wanda frowned at her, doubtful. Maybe a little jealous. “Is she trustworthy?”

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“Daisy Johnson.”

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Hearing that name, the redhead nodded and took that device, knowing that she could completely trust Daisy. At least they were on the same side.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“How did you meet Daisy?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Oh, that story is for another day. I'll just tell you that I had to patch many wounded running away because of the Accords.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You're amazing, detka.” Wanda bit her lower lip, completely captivated by her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda, we have to go.” Natasha said looking at her watch.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Can't we stay a little longer? Please.” She begged, those green eyes asking Natsha and whatever higher beings to give her a few more moments.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You know how it is.” Nat sighed and adjusted her cap, ready to go out again. “Steve needs us.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She’s right.” Y/N kissed her forehead, in the sweetest and most supportive way possible. “Go, okay? I will be here.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Y/N, I…” Wanda stopped. She didn't know how to express those words, were they correct? Was she rushing? But did that matter? She was running from the government -not just one- for more than a year, of course it was worth saying. “I love you, Y/N.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I love you, Wands” Happy to finally say it, Y/N smiled widely and kissed her lips once more. Not just once, but many times until they had to break up.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Be careful, okay?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You too, take care, please.” The Sokovian sighed, feeling her heart split in two as she moved away. “They will do anything to find us.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“We’ll do it.” She nodded, then looked at Natasha. “Take care of her.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The spy nodded as if it were a promise, although the truth would be that they would both take care of each other. But to Natasha's surprise, Jules came over to her with a big brown paper package.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Take this.” The barista handed her that package that inside seemed to have a few bottles of water, bagels and chicken sandwiches. “For the trip, I guess where you guys are going won't be close.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Thank you, Jules. You’re kind.” Wanda smiled gratefully.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda?” Y/N tried last time.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ “Yes?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Red looks beautiful on you. Red is still yours.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Smiling, Wanda waved and left that café, ready to drive out of town where the quinjet was parked.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

In the cafe, Y/N kept watching the door for twenty minutes until Jules decided to close it, it was time to go home. Of course Y/N was going to wait, she didn't know how long, but she was going to wait.

And together they battled the adversity and distance that separated them each night, especially Y/N's constant concern for Wanda's life. They communicated through encrypted messages from each city where Wanda arrived, once she was safe she would send a message that only they knew to show that everything was okay.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The second invasion in New York was something that nobody expected, of course. As soon as she saw that on TV how New York was under attack again by the Black Order, she quickly left with Steve and Natasha to the Compound. The imminent war against Thanos coming to Wakanda.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

‘Are you okay?’ Send.

‘Please, detka, say you're okay...’ Send.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She typed and waited impatiently as they flew to Wakanda.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda sighed deeply, a bit defeated and tired of going back and forth from one place to another without being able to stay where she wanted to be. Now the planet was at risk -again- and a mad titan wanted to kill one of her friends to get a stone. Cool.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She’s okay?” Natasha asked as she sat down next to her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I don't know.” Wanda lowered her gaze, watching her reddish knuckles. Some cuts on her pale skin, she couldn't remember when was the last time she had a moment of peace. Her heart doesn't have any rest. “I'm tired.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I know.” Natasha pursed her lips and leaned back against the quinjet wall, closing her eyes. “I promise this is the last time.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Don't promise something you don't know, Romanoff.” Wanda whispered, knowing so damn well that this wasn’t the last time. There was always something else, always somewhere to run.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Maybe half an hour later that device vibrated, taking her attention. Wanda sighed with relief.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

‘I’m okay. Working, the hospital is full of wounded people. Those aliens left a mess here! Where are you? What’s going on?!’ - received a minute ago.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

‘I'm about to stop all this. I love you.’ Send.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

‘I love you. Please be safe, come back to me, Wanda.’ Received.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She’s fine.” Wanda told Nat who seemed less worried now too. “We must stop them.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda didn't want to lose Y/N, didn't want to lose her best friend, Vision.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“It's what we'll do.” Natasha nodded and got up to make sure they were close to Wakanda, as they seemed to be losing altitude. Watching once more the messages from her beloved, Wanda closed her eyes when she heard Steve tell them that they were about to land.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

One last time. One last time and we'll be together.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

"She'll come back, of course she will."

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

That was what Y/N told herself over and over again, ever since the afternoon New York was attacked by Thanos. Hours later, Thanos's snap had disappeared half of the Universe.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Chaos and horror reigned in the lives of many people who lost their loved ones, and some people who had to pay for the crazy decision of the mad titan and lose their lives.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Watching the ashes around her, Y/N walked through the hospital corridors, seeing how people disappeared, turning into ashes. People who screamed for their relatives or for their doctors. She was speechless.

Y/N remembered how that day she arrived at Jules's cafe expecting to find a pile of ashes and feel the relief to see her there, so scared, trying to help the people who came looking for refuge.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N remembered how she tried to call Wanda but it was impossible, even though Y/N tried a thousand times, she never answered her messages again. And she understood why, when the news showed the fallen Avengers, victims of Thanos' snap. How they had been remembered for their great courage, trying to save the planet from that threat.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

‘James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff… we owe them so much, we are forever in debt.’ Said the president next to the ruins of what used to be the Mets Stadium.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Now you remember them?! After spending a whole year hunting them all over the world like criminals!” Y/N exclaimed angrily watching the news, getting up to storm out of that cafe. “A fucking Witch hunt!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Five years from that day, that day when she asked herself: why not me? Where she should be glad to still be alive, but carrying the weight and pain of surviving in a world where those she loved were gone.

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Five years where her life changed completely, she was no longer a girl doing a residency but was now a doctor.

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Five years where New York City gone from being a beacon of light to a slightly darker place. A gray that would never make you feel alone, but not safe either.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You haven't slept at all for twenty-six hours, you should eat something other than ham bagels and coffee!” Jules's voice snapped Y/N out of her thoughts as she tried to stay awake over the counter.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Jules, her best friend who had been by her side these five years, poked her nose. The woman looked exactly the same although with a rather attractive bi bob haircut.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Its what I must do. I promise I'll eat better or healthier.” Y/N smiled somewhat wearily as she drank her coffee, happy to have two days off.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I’m just worried.” Jules shook her head.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I'm okay.” She assured. “How's everything around here now that you own this place?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Oh, don't even tell me. It's chaos itself, I never thought it would be doing the same thing I already did, but with more responsibility. And even more tired and stressed… but happier.”

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Y/N rolled her eyes and giggled. “What about Natasha?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Each day more beautiful. The last time we talked, she was videocalling a space raccoon... that was flirting with me. A self-centred little thing if I tell you.” She joked, shaking her head. The relationship with Natasha strengthened even more all those years, Thanos' snap changed everything.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ Y/N and Jules talked for a while, mostly about their lives until one of the customers caught their attention, pointing to the television.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I repeat, a ship landed on what used to be the old Avengers compound!” exclaimed one of the journalists while running. “Be careful, we don't know if this is a new attack on New York or-”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The journalist suddenly stopped when he saw how people began to appear around him.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“OH MY GOD, THEY'RE COMING BACK!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Astonished, Y/N and her bestfriend watched as the people who disappeared years ago, now returned there or outside the store. Y/N rushed out to help those in need, accidents began to happen. Helping those who were scared or disoriented without knowing what was happening, the world was once again in chaos... five years after the snap.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

While the Avengers fought against Thanos once again, united, every place in the world was chaos itself. About five or six hours later, from afar it was heard how many people celebrated the return of their loved ones in the streets. Jules was turning off the lights of the coffee shop when she heard the jingle of the door bells.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Sorry, we’re already closed. If you need help I can take you to the City Hall and...” Jules said without even looking, taking her jacket to leave but when she turned to look, her mouth dropped open in surprise.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ The redhead was wearing a gray coat and a burgundy sweater that fit her perfectly. She looked beautiful, as always, but mostly she looked hopeful. And somewhat worried.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ “Wanda…” Jules gasped, she remained still for a few seconds before approaching to hug the redhead. So tight, even Jules missed her so much. “Damn, it’s true. You look like... you look exactly the same. Wow.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“It is. You still look beautiful too.” Wanda said with a small shy smile, but as she pulled away she asked: “Where is she?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“In her apartment.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

So confused, the sokovian shook her head. “I was there, there’s no one living in that place.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Oh, yeah! It's just that she moved two years ago to be close to the hospital.” Jules took a piece of paper and a pen so she could write down the exact address. “Here you go, she's a few blocks from New York-Presbyterian.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Thank you.” Wanda nodded quickly walking towards the exit when the woman's voice caught her attention.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda… Do you know where Natasha is? She doesn't answer my calls, I understand that after all it must be difficult to talk. But… I’m getting worried here.” Jules tried to look smiley but she seemed quite worried because inside her, she felt that something wasn't quite right. "I'm terrified, she never does that."

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Jules, I… umh… I'm sorry.” Wanda lowered her head for a moment, not knowing what to say. How to begin, she didn’t even thought about everything that happened. Apparently Nat and her were close. “I thought you knew.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Taking a deep breath, the brunette just tried to hold back her tears and nodded. Natasha talked to her many times, explaining the situation in which she would always be. Preparing her for what she considered inevitable.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She was an Avenger. Someday she would die as one.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Go, I'll be fine. We will talk about that later.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Are you sure?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yes, please. She will be happy to see you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda nodded and left that place quickly, willing to get to that place as fast as she could.

The good news was that Y/N wasn't that far away, the bad news was that the streets were packed with people. Wanda used her powers to levitate between alleys, shortening as much as she could.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She was so focused on the TV that the sound of the coffee maker made her jump. The news channel decided to show the lovely reunions instead of focusing on the riots, to appease now the great problem that was now coming, called overpopulation.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N got up to get some coffee when she heard the doorbell. So confused, she set the coffee pot aside and walked to the door a bit worried. Maybe it was Jules with something new, she didn't know anyone else after all.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Each step toward the door seemed like an eternity, as if something was going to happen and her heart knew it. Because when she barely opened the door, her heart rushed out to its true owner. Taking her breath away, there was Wanda Maximoff, more beautiful than ever, as if nothing changed for her. Y/N thought she was living in a memory, Wanda looked exactly like the last time she saw her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Hi.” Wanda mumbled between happy, flushed and excited. She thought of all the things she wanted to say, all the things she mentally wrote down to say to Y/N, but she could only say 'hi'.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda! Oh my god!” Y/N exclaimed excited and amazed, rushed towards the sokovian to hug her as tightly as her arms would allow her. “It’s you. It’s really you. Oh my god, you’re here!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She didn't even think about it, she just kissed Wanda. Kissed the love of her life as if it was their first time. Closing their eyes for a moment, they both allowed themselves to hold each other for a long time, feel each other one more time. Feel the scent, the warmth of their bodies meeting again, so similar yet so different.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

After that kiss, Y/N led Wanda inside the house quickly. Turning around, they faced each other again, not knowing what to say. Just happy looks and big smiles.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wow, I can't believe you're back.” Y/N took her hand sitting on the couch together. Oh, how many times she begged to whatever god up there would let her see Wanda one more time.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The redhead took advantage of the moment to take a good look at Y/N, that woman for whom she had fought all this time. One of the most important reasons why she gave her life in that battle, who she felt was her home.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You look the same... it's so crazy.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You look a a bit different…” Wanda whispered, caressing her beloved's cheek. And it was true, although Y/N still looked so damn beautiful, some things changed. Not many, those eyes and that smile kept taking her breath away.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Hey, it's not my fault. Five years, you know? I'm a bit older now, but... bit sexier tho. Like a good wine.” Y/N teased, they both laughed, but then pain came like a blast of cold air for both.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Five years away.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Realizing how long it had been since they saw each other, years without knowing about each other. Time felt unrecoverable; years of thinking they were lost forever.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ Years where Wanda was not there for Y/N. Years where Y/N had to move on.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No, I mean... you're so beautiful. You look the same, I just... It feels as if I saw you for the first time.” Wanda hurried up and shook her head, feeling the bitterness close in her throat for a moment. She cradled Y/N's face in her hands. “I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left. We should have gone somewhere, run away together...”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

A tear fell down Wanda's cheek and Y/N allowed herself to gently brush it away, leaving a soft kiss on her forehead.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“That sounds very romantic.” Y/N smiled wistfully, how long did she think about it? How silly she was for not insisting even more. “But you know very well that you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t quit on your friends, you wouldn’t quit on this world if it needed you, and I wouldn’t let you do it either. I'm still so fucking proud of you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“But I left you, twice. I feel like a failure, 'cause I know that I failed you, detka. I should've done you better…” Wanda looked down at their intertwined fingers, finally. “I'm scared… Everything has changed so much. And I know, but I'm afraid that you have everything now… and I’ll be nothing without you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N smiled tenderly.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Some things have changed, but my love for you hasn't.” Y/N assured her, kissing her hand in a soft and unique way. “That's something that will never happen, my love for you will never end. I'm still waiting for you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda bit her lower lip, completely in love with that woman. Oh god, how did she find something so good in her life?

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I haven't asked you, but…” Wanda felt a bit embarrassed to ask. “Are you... seeing someone? Sorry, I came here and I just stormed with all this. I didn't even ask you that...”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The brunette giggled, that was so adorable. “You’re asking that after we kissed...”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“What? I wanna know!” Wanda defended herself and gave her a little nudge.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Ouch!” She tried to stop giggling. “I'm single.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Oh, thanks to the universe.” Sighing deeply, feeling a great relief, Wanda just nodded and tried to fight back the tears.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Seeing Y/N again in front of her, so the same and so different, was one of the most difficult tests she had gone through. They both spent the night chatting about what Y/N's life had been like, that she managed to finish the residency because the decimation -or the snap- changed everything in those five years. Y/N got that apartment because it was so much closer to the hospital, and because the memories of Wanda started to suffocate her. It was too painful.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda's absence opened a great hole inside, so deep that nothing was enough to fill it. ‘It was a deep dark hole that goes all the way to China’, Y/N used to said that because that was one of the songs they both loved, ‘Hole in my heart’ by Cyndi Lauper.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

And while Y/N told her everything that happened in the world and in her life, Wanda never stopped smiling. She was so proud of Y/N, seeing her achieve everything she wanted to be.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I've missed a lot of you.” Wanda stroked her cheek, so slowly. The softness of her skin kept driving her crazy. “I abandoned you so long ago, long before Thanos. I abandoned you when we hadn't even started.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Feeling the pain in her beloved's eyes, Y/N just leaned down to kiss those sweet lips one more time. A short and sincere kiss, making their heartbeat increase.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I think it's time to rest.” whispered the brunette, lost in the delicious sensation that Wanda's lips cause her. Hearing that, Wanda just nodded.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yes, I should go.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No, not like that. I mean… Where?” Y/N stammered, then looked around. It was 2 am, Y/N turned off the tv. “Where are you staying? I don't think it's good for you to go out alone.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I'm an avenger.” Wanda smiled, Y/N despite knowing that she was powerful and capable of defending herself against alien threats or trained agents, she continued to protect Wanda as if she were a treasure. “Don't know. I just came back… I came straight here. I have no place yet.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Stay with me.” Without waiting for even a second, stumbling at her own words, Y/N blurted it out without thinking about the consequences. Not caring either, she just wanted that girl back by her side and planned to make up for the time that was taken from her, from now on. If she let Wanda go before, this time she's going to fight for it.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yes…” Wanda whispered, happy. And of course this time she wasn't going to say no. This time she wasn’t going to refuse saying that she should be somewhere else. This was the place where she belonged, this was the place where she deserved and wanted to be.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Smiling, Y/N took the redhead's hand and they walked together into the bedroom, leaving all the chaos behind. Promising themselves to never let go again.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

And fulfilling what they promised, they didn’t separate again.

Except for Tony Stark's funeral, Y/N didn't think it would be appropriate to go there, so she just waited patiently for her. The bad news was that Natasha hadn't woken up yet, after what happened on Vormir and Steve returning the infinity stones to where they belonged, he found a loophole in that 'deal'.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

They were able to rescue Natasha's soul, coming back to life but wasn’t that easy. Natasha never woke up, staying alive but unable to get out of that coma.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Pepper took care of the situation, looking for the best facilities and doctors she could find. Jules never left Natasha’s side, she spent most of her time trying to be with her, and take care of her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Of course, Jules cried and growled 'that's my girl, always leaving a mess and saving the world' when she found out about the Russian’s sacrifice. Hoping to scold her someday, though she understood that Nat would do anything to make her sister come back, Yelena. And all the people on this planet who needed to come back.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

After all, they spent five years together, and had a wonderful and healthy relationship. Natasha learned to open up and let herself be loved and cared for, have a small family. Jules knew so well that Natasha Romanoff was a hero, she always had been. Maybe the ring should wait for its owner a little longer.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Oh my god, that’s so you.” Y/N laughed so hard, watching an episode of Malcolm in the Middle.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda loved sitcoms and was grateful that they matched so well on it, even though they agreed to alternate their sitcom nights between Malcolm, The Office, and One Day at a Time. The Office could be complex sometimes, but Y/N loved it and Wanda was starting to like it, very much. Two months passed since everyone returned and the world was beginning to heal, little by little.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Shut up. You’re Hal, always horny and doing the most random weird things ever.” Wanda snuggled to be closer to her girlfriend, her love, her everything. Feeling the brunette's scent made Wanda smile and close her eyes for a moment, so she could live in that dream, never wake up.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“And you’re my Lois, because you love me anyway.” Y/N whispered as she stroked Wanda's back slowly.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I love you, detka. I will love you in any way, in any world.” Wanda confessed by placing her chin on Y/N’s chest. Neither of them seemed to care much that the episode kept playing behind, the connection between their looks could overcome everything.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda…”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Mmh?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Have I told you that I love your accent?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Always, and I love to know...”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yes, detka?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N narrowed her eyes and bit her lower lip, thinking that maybe she shouldn't say what she wanted to say. “Do you remember the times we saw each other when you were running away?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Do I remember them? Ha. I treasure them in my mind, each and every one of them.” The redhead paused for a moment to lose herself in those memories. The times they'd run away so they could be together, when Y/N took a week's vacation and traveled to Scotland, so they could lose in the romantically beautiful Edinburgh, or travel to Ireland, laughing and dancing in Galway over a few pints of ale.

That night Natasha was so angry... but the most painful thing was always saying goodbye to Y/N.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Now they wouldn't have to do it anymore.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Remember when…?” Y/N swallowed hard, thinking how to say it. “I would like to know something... rather, I'd like to ask you something.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Tell me, Y/N, what's is it? Are you okay?” Concern was visible on the redhead's face.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The brunette sighed and settled on the bed to get a better look at Wanda. After a few attempts to start saying it, she took courage: “Don't you think we've been apart for a long time already?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yes…” Wanda nodded. “Although these months have been wonderful, I don’t understand what you mean…”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“But it's different.” Y/N licked her lips and took Wanda’s hand. “So I was thinking and, well, this place… is… something that I chose, in a hurry because I had to. You know, I didn't even think if I liked that window or if that… room was good… or… one bathroom…”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda narrowed her eyes somewhat confused, not understanding too well where she was going.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Jeez! Would you like us… to look for a new place together?” Y/N ended up exploding, tired of babbling like a lovesick puppy. But as soon as she realized what she said, her eyes widened.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Do you want us to live together?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yes.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda frowned, a bit confused. “Isn't that what we're doing?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yeah, but I mean let's find a place together.” Y/N closed her eyes, expecting the 'no' at any moment. “One that we choose together, that we both like.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Her girlfriend was quiet and that made Y/N panic, feeling her palms slightly sweaty.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“A home...” Wanda gradually smiled, that smile she hadn't shown in a long time. Such a unique smile, a happy one. The sokovian suddenly began to nod quickly, between excited and happy. “I would like to.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N smiled too. “Really?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No, no...” The sokovian shook her head. “I wouldn't like it, change that. I'll say it better: I would love it! I would love to choose a home with you, detka.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You serious?” Y/N smiled and sat up on the bed.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Deadly serious.” Wanda couldn't say more, she just laughed when the brunette leaned over to fill her with kisses and small bites. “Let's get ourselves a home!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“And maybe a dog?” Y/N used her best pleading eyes, Wanda just bit her bottom lip, shaking her head.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Baby steps, detka!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

That was how they both slowly began to repair that relationship damaged by absence and time.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Natasha woke up two months later, happy to know that her sacrifice was worth it and that she was surrounded by the people she loved so much. Now all she had to do was go through a long recovery process, but never alone.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N managed to have better work hours, now she couldn't be away from home for so long. She decided to take a minor position in a nice place called Westview.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Accepting Y/N's recommendation, Wanda began attending a therapy group, to be able to work on all the losses she had. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible.

Although she would never get over Pietro, her family or Vision’s death, she could tell that slowly she was making progress.

Wanda could finally let her heart have a break and, without a doubt, lots of love.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Okay, I have finished this beautiful request and aaaaaaa. I hope you liked it. I wrote this chapter listening to One last time" by Ariana Grande.

the cutest and lovely people tags ✨@fishlikestuff @marvelogic @blckrwidow @imnotasuperhero @wandsmxmff - @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @marvell-love - @etheriaaly - @idcplss - @how-to-disappearrr - @simp4nat - @scarletwitchofthewilds - @cristin-rjd - @lonewalker17 @zairaaaa @mrscromanoff @kacka84 @helladumbsstuff @dandelions4us @karsonromanoff @trikruismybitch @danicarpediem

I can’t remember who asked me to tag them in my fics, if you want, comment and I’ll tag you.🐻

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x f!reader #wanda maximoff imagine #minor natasha romanoff x oc #natasha romanoff x oc

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zvaigzdelasas · 3 years ago

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When Kémi Séba, a leading anti-colonial figure in Francophone Africa, last attempted to travel from his native Benin to Mali in January 2020 he was prevented from boarding the plane by Malian authorities.

At the time, Mali was under the control of president Ibrahim Boubacar Keïta—a close ally to France who would not have welcomed Séba’s ability to lead large protests against the country’s former colonial ruler.

Two years later and Séba tells Quartz that he was personally invited to Mali by local authorities led by Colonel Assimi Goïta, the head of a military junta that seized power in August 2020, to give a rousing speech against neo-colonialism in the capital city of Bamako.

“The Malian authorities regard me as an ally because they know that I have reignited Pan-Africanism in Francophone African countries,” said Séba who was kicked out of Senegal in 2017 after the government called him a “threat to public order.” [...]

While the international community and the Economic Community of West African States (Ecowas) have denounced the military takeover in Mali, he praises the armed forces for responding to growing discontent with the former government

“The alliance between civil society and the military forces is a patriotic path forward and it will be the beginning of a new era in Africa,” he said.

“Democracy in the western sense has failed. Mali for me is proof that something can be different.” [...]

A recent poll by the [french-speaking] Friedrich Ebert foundation found that 68% of Malians are very satisfied with the coup, 27% are satisfied and only 5% do not support the military [...]

The question now is whether anti-colonial populist governments with broad support from their citizens will become a trend that spreads to other parts of Africa.

Séba believes that it is currently mostly isolated to Francophone Africa where it is slowly gaining momentum.

Even the more internationalist regional leaders like Macky Sall, Senegal’s president, have recently suggested that he wants to overhaul financial relations with the West.

The president gave a blistering speech earlier this month at a United Nations Economic Commission for Africa (Uncea) meeting in Dakar where he criticized the IMF for not allocating a fair portion of special drawing rights (SDRs) to the continent during the pandemic.

Africa has received only $33 billion of the $650 billion in emergency and unconditional funding issued by the IMF during covid-19, with much larger sums being allocated to developed economies like the US, Japan, China, and Germany.

“Explaining underdevelopment in Africa is very simple. The rules set up by international institutions have put us in a straitjacket. The rules are unfair, outdated, and need to be disputed,” he told delegates.

“It is time for Africa to speak out. The voices should not just be those of leaders but of finance ministers and others affected by a system that works against the continent.”

The growing dissatisfaction with Bretton Woods institutions adds to the feeling that the West has deliberately short-changed Africa in terms of access to vaccines.

Western drugmakers continue to block African manufacturing plants from producing life saving vaccines due to patent issues and vaccine donations to the continent have fallen well short of the mark.

This may have [sic] led to an increase in anti-Western sentiment in other regions outside Francophone west Africa.

Jeffrey Smith, founding director of Vanguard Africa, a non-profit [...], said that Putin’s invasion of Ukraine has increased anti-Western sentiment in Africa.

Russian flags have been flown in rallies everywhere from Ethiopia to South Africa as many Africans believe that the West’s condemnation of the invasion is hypocritical in the context of Libya, Iraq, and Afghanistan. [...]

Nicolas Cheeseman, professor of democracy at the University of Birmingham, said that populist policies are on the rise in other parts of Africa but not to the same extent as the Sahel.

“Figures such as William Ruto in Kenya and Julius Malema in South Africa are using populism as a way to try and gain power, but at the minute it seems to be more of a tool of the opposition than the government,” he said.

Still, the populist trend in west Africa could be the start of a wider movement in Africa and activists like Séba certainly hope that recent developments reverberate across the continent.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that the divisive figure has established connections with Malema in South Africa to expand the movement to Southern Africa.

Last week, hundreds of protestors from Malema’s Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) party gathered outside the French embassy in Pretoria, holding signs that had expletives against France. .

For a country which is not linked to French colonization, this could be a warning sign that events in the Sahel may eventually morph into something much more significant in Africa.

6 Jun 22

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louis-sj · 1 year ago

Text

КАК ВЫБРАТЬСЯ ИЗ СМИРИТЕЛЬНОЙ РУБАШКИ?

Google Translate: HOW TO GET OUT OF A STRAITJACKET?

A Russian escape from a straitjacket & strait-coveralls.

youtube

Googles closed caption translated to English worked for me.

Zipper back closure. Many repairs. 15 minutes and 21 seconds long.

Google Translate: Finally, the long-awaited straitjacket has arrived. Today we’ll check whether it’s possible to get out of it without outside help, and if so, we’ll show you how to do it

#straitjacket #straitjacket escape #russian #Live Today #strait-coveralls #Youtube

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falseandrealultravival · 2 years ago

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Garshin and "Red Flower" ~ Is he also a savior?（Essay）

Garshin (Гаршин)

Russian short story writer Garshin (Гаршин: 1855-1888) is a novelist who made a name for himself by turning his experiences during the Russo-Turkish War into novels. (Retired from the military due to an injury he suffered while serving in the military.) However, he was genetically ill with a mental illness, and before gaining permanent fame as a novelist, he committed suicide by jumping off himself. He was 33 years old.

There aren't many works he left behind, but there are many that shine. Among them, "Red Flower" is his masterpiece. Garshin's experience of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is strongly reflected in this novel, and it is possible to understand the state of the psychiatric hospital at that time.

The main character (called G), who has been deranged and sent to the hospital, burns with hatred for the crimson poppy flowers that grow in a garden of beautiful flowers. This "flower" is the root of all evil. So he decided that it was his duty to somehow eradicate these flowers (there were three of them in all) and save the world, and he did so.

Especially at the end, G escaped from the hospital room from the state of being tied up in a straitjacket and fought the "final (final) battle". was sent to the funeral with the "booty" poppy in hand.

It seems like a meaningless death, but for G, this act was a noble and unavoidable act "to save all mankind from evil." Good intentions! However, the setting of the action was completely wrong. A harsh fate for too pure G. It's painful.

However, it seems that G knew that he could harvest opium seeds from the seeds of the poppy, and it was purposeful that he tried to harvest the poppy. Ironically, G had been prescribed morphine from poppy to relieve his sleep deprivation.

From a slightly different point of view, gardening work itself is known to have a therapeutic effect in a mental hospital where many flowers are grown like G, the main character of this "red flower". It's called "horticultural therapy". For G, it had the opposite effect.

#Garshin #Гаршин #Red Flower #psychiatric hospital #savior #poppy #horticultural therapy #essay

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if-you-fan-a-fire · 5 years ago

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“How can we best promote world peace? As always, Thomas Friedman has a stunningly original answer: by building more McDonald’s. Here’s Friedman’s “Golden Arches Theory of Conflict Prevention” from his new book The Lexus and the Olive Tree:

…[A]s I Quarter-Poundered my way around the world in recent years, I began to notice something intriguing. I don’t know when the insight struck me. It was a bolt out of the blue…. And it was this:

No two countries that both had McDonald’s had fought a war against each other since each got its McDonald’s.

That’s what passes for an insight, in what passes for the mind of Thomas Friedman. Please note that this man is the possessor of what he himself calls “the best job in the world”: Foreign Correspondent for the New York Times. He is paid a huge salary to Quarter-Pound his way around the world producing “insights” like this. That’s the most interesting aspect of the whole Friedman phenomenon: not that Friedman is a bear of very little brain (because after all, there are a lot of Poohs in the woods) but that this Pooh is a leading writer for America’s newspaper of record.

Why would a hegemonic world power hire an outright halfwit as spokesman?

The very stupidity of Friedman’s analyses must somehow serve the Empire’s purposes. Once you admit this possibility, you can see that it fits an historical pattern. Again and again, the truly powerful Empires hire mediocrities; it’s the marginal empires which generate the great sloganeers – Mao, for example. Whatever else may be said about him, Mao came up with some great lines, from “paper tiger” to “Let a hundred flowers bloom.” When those five-million-strong crowds chanted in Tienanmen, they were quoting some first-rate poetry. That little red book they waved enclosed some of the best lines of the century.

Friedman, slogan kommissar of a much stronger Empire, couldn’t get drunken Manchester United fans chanting. Consider his use of numbers. This was one of Mao’s favorite mnemonic devices; “Smash the four olds!” “Destroy the Seventh Snake!” All Friedman has to offer is “The Three Democratizations” – but Friedman’s three D’s are so uninspiring that two days after finishing his book, I can only name two of them. If this guy was working for the Chinese Propaganda Ministry, he’d soon find himself collecting glowing camel-dung in the most radioactive districts of Sinkiang.

But the US, like nineteenth-century Britain, is so strong that it doesn’t want talented poets working for it. Think of the intentionally flat slogans of the British Empire:

“England expects every man to do his duty.” “The battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton.”

Dull lines – meant to be dull. The British, in their glory days, revelled in their dullness, associating real poetry with women, the French, and other lesser species. There was an element of gloating in the very dullness of their slogans: let the conquered know that they are ruled by mediocrities.

The slogans Friedman develops in this book have the same triumphant dullness. Their purpose is not to inspire Americans, but to convince everyone else that there’s no way to stop “Globalization-Americanization” (his term). Take his favorite oxymoron, “The Golden Straitjacket,” his name for the state-model created by Thatcher and Reagan. It’s “Golden” because if you implement it, your country will supposedly get rich. It’s a “Straitjacket” because, as Friedman says over and over again, it takes away all your freedom. He compares this straitjacket to the Mao suit, evoking those grey-clad crowds in the great Tienanmin Square rallies:

‘The Golden Straitjacket is the defining garment of this globalization era. The Cold War had the Mao suit, the Nehru jacket, the Russian fur [sic]. Globalization has only the Golden Straitjacket. If your country has not been fitted for one, it will be soon.”

Friedman comes up with dozens of glib, sloppy metaphors implying that there is no way out of “globalization-Americanization,” and that anyone who tries to resist will be stampeded. He refers to the wired-up leaders of the movement as “the Electronic herd,” which tramples anything in its way. He takes the cattle-herd metaphor further, dividing the wired American elite into “long-horn” and “short-horn” cattle, and adds that the herd is served by the “bloodhounds” of financial-rating services like Moody’s.

Friedman doesn’t seem to know that cattle herds aren’t usually guided by bloodhounds. But the clumsiness of his metaphors is part of his job. He’s here to threaten those who seem reluctant to join the herd. Who wants subtlety from a leg-breaker? The cruder the metaphor, the more frightening. Good poets don’t make good goons. And Friedman is pure goon, brass-knuckled platitudes all the way. Like a Naked Gun voiceover, he lets his violent metaphors stampede where they will. One of the most ham-handed metaphorical panics is what happens to this “electronic herd.” Within pages of its introduction, the “herd” is transformed from cattle to wildebeest, grazing the Savannah. Ah, but that’s only the beginning. You have to read it to believe it, so take a deep breath and follow Mr. Friedman into the Serengeti of international finance:

Think of the Electronic Herd as being like a herd of wildebeests grazing over a wide area of Africa. When a wildebeest on the edge of the herd sees something move in the tall, thick brush next to where it’s feeding, that wildebeest doesn’t say to the wildebeest next to it, “Gosh, I wonder if there’s a lion moving around there in the brush.” No way. That wildebeest just starts a stampede, and these wildebeests don’t stampede for a mere hundred yards. They stampede to the next country and crush everything in their path. So how do you protect your country from this? Answer: You cut the grass, and clear away the brush, so that the next time the wildebeest sees something rustle in the grass it thinks, “No problem, I see what it is. It’s just a bunny rabbit.” […] What transparency does is get more information to the wildebeests faster, so whatever they want to do to save their skins they can do in an orderly manner. In the world of finance this can mean the difference between having your market take a little dip and having it nosedive into sustained losses that take months or years to recover from.

Is he TRYING to be ridiculous here? I don’t think so. Friedman is a perfect spokes-beest for the entire herd. His endless Mister-Ed monologues comfort the other ruminants, reminding them of their hegemony.

But that doesn’t make for great Imperial poetry. In fact, by the end of that paragraph, with its African bunny rabbits, transparent wildebeest and brush-clearance program, poor old Mao is banging his head against the coffin-lid. Mao’s corpse is praying to Marx, Stalin, and Kwan-Yin for one day back on Earth, just time enough to liquidate this Friedman, whose hack-work shames ideological poets everywhere. In fact, seismologists detect widespread vibrations as Imperial poets from Virgil to Kipling batter their coffin-lids, screaming in agony, as Friedman drones on.

But there are horses for courses, and this garrulous Mister Ed is perfect as mouthpiece of the gloating, swaggering American Empire in its moment of triumph. Because Friedman’s not just dumb; he’s mean, too. He just loves to tell those about to undergo “Globalization-Americanization” that the process is going to hurt:

Unfortunately, the Golden Straitjacket is pretty much ‘one size fits all.’ So it pinches certain groups, squeezes others….It is not always pretty or gentle or comfortable. But it’s here and it’s the only model on the rack this historical season.

But of course he has to offer something which passes for evidence. So, to fill the time between “insights,” he recounts inspirational anecdotes gleaned from lickspittles and Uncle Toms the world over. Friedman meets the son of a leading PLO general, and is gratified that the boy is now working as a software salesman with no hard feelings over the fact that his father took a hundred bullets from an Israeli hit team. He is told by Anatoly Chubais, that herd bull of the Russian Young Wildebeest herd, that it’s Russia’s own fault entirely that the country is in ruins.

Russia, in fact, is the villain of this book. Friedman hates Russia – truly hates it, with a mealy-mouthed venom which does not make pleasant reading. His book begins with a quote from an American businessman whining that it’s “aggravating” that the Russian crash actually affects his profits. When he needs a bad example, it’s always Russian. He tells the hoary anecdote (an “insight” in this case, naturally) about the Russian elevator with misnumbered floors, and the equally venerable anecdote about the Russian who drives his tank to town because he doesn’t have a car. Oh, those funny, funny Russians, with their aggravating habit of starving to death just when we want to celebrate. Like many of the Empire’s leg-breakers, Friedman hates Russia for all sorts of reasons: as a child of cold-war America; as an Israel-can-do-no-wrong Middle-East correspondent; and above all as a popularizer of the get-with-the-program hegemony of the Golden Straitjacket. Russia doesn’t fit into the Golden Straitjacket very well. In fact, the Straitjacket made Russia so uncomfortable that by 1998, its screams were audible even in the offices of the New York Times. Friedman and his masters will never forgive Russia for ruining the gloat-fest with that discordant scream.”

- John Dolan, “THOMAS FRIEDMAN: THE EMPIRE’S USEFUL IDIOT: AN EXILE CLASSIC.” The eXiled. June 8, 2000. Issue 92.

#john dolan #thomas friedman #the lexus and the olive tree #american empire #ideology of empire #foreign correspondent #new york times #pundit class

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trellanyx · 5 years ago

Note

your jonathan crane (who i love so very much) and numbers 1 through... oh, lets say 25 ;)

(Send me a character and a number)

Have I told you how much I love you lately, Lizard? Because I do. Oh yes I do. 😂

Word vomiting about my Jon in 3, 2, 1...

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

His work, of course. Not just the toxin, but the breadth of his knowledge, his experiments, his successes and vengeances. Jonathan is an expert in his field, and considering what he went through to get there he’s damn proud of it.

2) Who they want to please the most.

Jonathan Crane does not give a single solitary fuck about what anyone thinks of him. The only satisfaction he cares about is his own. Considering how high his standards are, that’s a big enough challenge already.

3) Who depends on them.

No one. Jon may make you think you need him if that serves his end goal, but other than that he keeps his distance. If you’re in a position where you actually depend on Jonathan Crane’s services, you’re fucked.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live.

Work feverishly to A) preserve his work and B) push it as far as it can go before his body betrays him. Jon would be pulling such long, intense hours that it’s quite possible he’d drop dead before the month was up from sheer exhaustion. If he doesn’t, then he takes his magnum opus and goes out with a hell of a bang.

5) A cherished personal belonging.

Nothing. He has things he likes more than most: a tortoiseshell watch, a spring-loaded gun, his sturdiest boots, his sharpest scythe - the whole fear gauntlet, actually, impractical as it was - but nothing he’d go as far as to say he cherishes. Everything Jon owns is expendable, and no matter how attached he might be to something, there’s nothing he wouldn’t chuck in a fire instantly if he needed to.

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back.

“Unlimited access to test subjects wrapped in a stable paycheck. Arkham’s much more fun on the other side of the straitjacket.”

7) This character’s favorite character

I give up. It’s been days. Days that this post has sat in my drafts while I tried to think of this asshole’s favorite character, and I’ve got nothing. I’ve come up with a couple of disparate headcanons involving Jon and fiction in general, but I have no answer for this one. I offer this as a placeholder: “He doesn’t have any because he’s a contrary and insufferable bastard.”

8) What kind of car they would drive.

Dark, boring, older than sin. The gas pedal is the most abused piece of equipment in South Gotham. There’s a stain on the backseat floor that Jon says is coffee, and no one is brave enough to question him. Edward refuses to be seen dead in it. One day Jon’s gonna take that as a challenge.

9) What calms them when they are upset.

It really depends on the type of distress that it is. The basic scale is this:

Drumming his nails against things, or just tapping against the nearest flat surface if his nails aren’t long enough. (Common response to most grievances.)

Stepping outside for a smoke. He goes back inside when he either feels better or runs out of cigarettes.

Pacing inside or stalking through the streets like he’s on his way to kill somebody, taking small, petty pleasure watching people jump out of his way.

Stewing in a corner with a bottle of strong alcohol.

Actually killing somebody.

10) How they deal with pain.

Grits his teeth and bears it. The first lesson he ever learned.

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

As Scarecrow: His plague doctor mask, which replaced the traditional burlap after he stopped being able to feel fear.

As Jon: Custom winter gloves with longer fingers to accommodate his nails in the winter.

12) How they sleep.

I’ve talked about this before, actually! Here’s the quote:

Since he suffers from chronic insomnia and chronic I Have No Idea What Healthy Habits Look Like, Jonathan doesn’t go to bed very often. He’s more likely to pass out wherever he is - couch, desk, once on a morgue slab (don’t ask)… But when he does sleep in a bed, he tosses and turns a ridiculous amount. It’s not that he’s having nightmares (though with the way he moves, how could you tell), he just has a hard time getting comfortable. He’ll turn over at least 3-6 times before falling asleep, and he’ll keep shifting even after he does. It’s very common for Jonathan to fall asleep with three blankets and wake up with only one.

13) What kind of parent they would be.

*hysterical laughter* NO.

14) How they did in school.

He struggled with it a lot. Not because of a lack of intelligence or drive, but because:

Constant undernourishment and late night punishments made it difficult for Jon to stay awake in class. (His insomnia didn’t develop until he was in his early 20s.)

His homework was often late or mediocre because Jon did it after being beaten or kept busy with his grandmother’s laborious demands, if he was in a state to do it at all.

Jon’s glasses were almost never up to date. Constant squinting compounded by what Jon now knows were chronic migraines made class not only difficult to concentrate on, but physically painful.

Bullying. I don’t think I need to elaborate there.

Jon barely eked out a GPA high enough to get him into a local community college with the help of a scholarship targeted toward low-income families. Once his grandmother and bullies “helpfully” left the picture and Jon could focus on eliminating the obstacles above, he threw himself into his studies like a man possessed, and by the time he graduated, he’d secured himself entry to a post-baccalaureate program in Gotham. He used that as a stepping stone to med school and the rest is history.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use.

Jon doesn’t like either. His only indulgence in the smell department is almond-scented soap.

16) Their sexuality.

It varies depending on what version of him I’m playing, but it’s always either bi or gay.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke.

Something slow, creepy and mournful, probably not even on the set list, while he stares at you unblinking and makes you regret every decision in your life that helped force him onstage. You don’t ask for an encore.

18) Special talents they have.

Jon is double-jointed, a great whistler, sews all his costumes and is an adequate mechanic. See the “should be dead twelve times over” car he still drives. He’s also a better swimmer than people give him credit for, something that’s saved his life more than once.

19) When they feel safest.

In front of a fireplace. Jon can’t really explain it, nor does it make sense considering how much he hates heat in general. But there’s something about sitting in front of a fire that really relaxes him. (Don’t bother with the scarecrow/fire jokes, he’s heard them all.)

20) Household chore they hate the most.

Bathrooms.

21) Their fondest childhood memory.

“Killing them.”

22) How they spend their money.

Books, chemicals, caffeine, alcohol, weapons. And then living essentials. Maybe. Depends on how low he is on nicotine. (Jon’s spending habits are so predictable it became a running joke on campus, what did you expect.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink.

He’s not picky, but nothing beats a finely aged whiskey. He’s also partial to Black Russians.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves.

Useful as it can be, Jon regrets the loss of his ability to feel fear. He also wishes he didn’t get migraines so often. Nothing on the personality front, though: Jon knows what he is.

25) What other people wish they could change about them.

Oh honey, there’s not enough hours in the day to list all that.

#lizard-hair #batman #jonathan crane #my headcanons #ask #i hope it was worth the wait bb #again THANK YOU #i could talk about my version of this asshole all day long

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hellzyeahwebwieldingreviews · 5 years ago

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Untold Tales of Spider-Man 15: The Stalking of John Doe – by Adam-Troy Castro

A pretty good story but...

“In Manhattan, stormy nights are crazy nights.” Dr. Gwendolyn Harris is “working the second half of a fifteen-hour shift at the Emergency Psychiatric Unit of the Midtown Hospital and she’d seen more business in the past three hours than she’d expected to see all day.” The cops bring in a number of crazies including “the ranting little man who’d attempted to smuggle a gun into a Rick Jones concert, in what was an apparent attempt to become the next Mark David Chapman.” (You may recall that Rick Jones, former companion to the Hulk, Captain America, and Captain Marvel, was, at one point, a big deal rock star. If you don’t recall, Adam-Troy certainly does. Mark David Chapman, of course, is the man who killed John Lennon.) Shortly before nine PM, Bill The Security Guard motions Gwen over and tells her, “Cops just called. They’re bringing in another John Doe. One they say they don’t recommend placing in the general ward.” He elaborates, “he’s totally out of his head, strong as a moose, and…it took more than a dozen cops working tag-teams to wrestle him into a pair of straitjackets.”The police bring in the John Doe, “a wiry Caucasian male in his twenties, with short-cropped brown hair and eyes that could have been inviting were they not crazed…wearing nothing but a sodden pair of blue tights,” and it takes five of them to contain him.

Suddenly, the John Doe goes berserk, yelling, “He’s after me, he’ll track me down, it’s what he does, it’s what he knows, he’ll find my trail and get me,” and the cops are about to lose control of him when Gwen steps in to calm her patient down. The John Doe looks at her and calls her “Gwendy,” which takes Gwen by surprise. However, when he says, “You can’t be Gwendy. The Goblin killed Gwendy. I saw him kill Gwendy,” she knows he isn’t referring to her. Finally “John” tells her, “the Hunter, that dart he shot me with, it’s some kind of rare psychoactive snake venom derivative, making all the nightmares come back, I’m f-fighting it but…I can’t seem to focus my thoughts…is it really you, Gwendy? Please tell me it’s really you.” Gwen lies, saying, “It’s me,” and the John Doe kisses her wrist and begins to cry.After “John” is strapped on a bed in a “padded isolation cell,” police Sergeant Monaghan tells Gwen that her patient was rambling on about “lizards, vultures, tarantulas, pumas, cobras, rhinos, black cats, octopuses.”

He reports that the “psycho came out of that alley stripped to the waist, wired like all the crackheads you ever saw, screaming about the monsters. Attacked a whole bunch of folks lined up at the Cineplex, calling ‘em murderers and villains, tossing ‘em side to side like it was bowling night or something. Even jumped a poor far guy, calling him the Kingpin. When Stanley and I showed up, he almost tore us to pieces.” Stanley, one of the other cops, disagrees, saying, “He’s hallucinating, sure, and from the way he goes on, he sees enemies everywhere he looks, but even with his strength, even in a state of panic, he’s managed to resist doing anybody any serious harm…For what it’s worth, I think he’s telling the truth. I think he was dosed with something.”

The cops leave and Gwen prepares to examine her patient but she asks Gordy and Flack, two beefy security guards, to stand by.She finds John Doe muttering about Mary Jane, monsters, Felicia and the Hunter.” “[T]here was something about the way John Doe presented it, something about the conviction behind his words, that hit all three of them (Gwen, Gordy, Flack) at the base of the spine.” “John” again recognizes Dr. Harris as “Gwendy” and she tells him she needs to take a blood sample. “I wouldn’t even be in this mess if not for my blood!” he says, “That spider, messing up my life – take it all, why don’t you?...Call Morbius and have yourselves a kegger!” She takes the blood and his vital signs. He starts to tell her his name but changes his mind. When Flack tells him he’s safe from the Hunter, “John” laughs, “You don’t know what he is. He’s coming. And you won’t even slow him down.” Gwen takes the blood sample to Willie the lab tech to be analyzed for “alcohol, crack, PCP, all the other usual psychoactive agents – and one other thing. Snake venom.”As the night goes on, the weather gets nastier with destructive winds and flooding. Gwen is overwhelmed by psych cases entering the emergency room even as “the cops were besieged by screwball reports of a half-man, half-lion spotted on the rooftops.”

At last she gets the lab report on “John’s” blood. Negative for everything except snake venom. But also, Willie adds, “positive for another factor, that had screwed up all the tests until he compensated for it; a factor that was like nothing else he’d ever seen.” The blood is also “superoxygenated.” Gwen returns to the padded cell and finds “John” sitting up on the bed, having gotten out of his restraints. Instinctively, she enters without Gordy and Flack. She finds “John” more coherent but still crazed. He recognizes that she isn’t his Gwendy but also rambles on about the hunter, revealing that he was jumped and dosed and then fled to an alley where he removed his mask. Howling, “Oh, my God! My face! My face! You can see my face!” he covers it with his hands. Gwen tells him, “I don’t care who you are…I don’t care what you look like. I just want to help you.” Realizing, “the Hunter’s coming,” “John” gets up and opens the locked reinforced door “with one annoyed tug,” taking a “fairly large piece of wall” with it. He runs smack into Gordy and Flack but they are unable to stop him. Unexpectedly, however, “John” turns rather than flees, and “made an odd gesture with both hands: hands out, middle two fingers of each curled inward to tap the palm…He seemed genuinely astonished when nothing happened.”

This allows Gordy and Flack to tackle him. A third orderly joins them. “John” is still on the verge of getting away when Gwen yells “Stop!” and he does. Again warning her that “the Hunter’s coming,” he faints.This time, they restrain “John” with every device that they have. Gordy and Flack stand guard duty outside. Gwen worries that “John” may be speaking the truth. She knows, “if it weren’t possible to get reasonable people to believe the rantings of the insane, then a fair percentage of cult leaders and politicians would have been out of work.” But even knowing that, “she couldn’t stop thinking about the Hunter.” Later, she asks the lab tech if the John Doe could be “a paranormal.” “You mean like the Thing?” he says, “Or Captain America? Or one of those guys?” then follows with, “If he was a mutant…you’d need DNA tests for a definitive diagnosis If he was paranormal in some other nonphysical way, there’s usually not much you can do to tell.” This conversation is interrupted when Bill the Security Guard tells them, “Some crazy off the street” has entered the hospital. “Tall, muscular guy, Russian accent, wearing leopard-skin tights and a skinned lion’s head for a vest, if you can believe that…He said he was the hunter and said he’d go wherever he chose to go.

The cops who tried to detain him for questioning are now being worked on in the emergency room. So’s some poor guy in the elevator who gave him a lecture about the evils of wearing fur.” Gwen knows the Hunter has arrived. She has Bill barricade the door to the Psych Unit and tells him to prepare to shoot anyone who enters. From his cell, the John Doe starts screaming and pounding on the door, without anyone telling him about the oncoming danger. Gwen sends Gordy and Flack to help Bill. Then she hears “John” ripping the padding off the walls, in order to eliminate its blow-suffusing effects. Gwen, who knows “John” is her only hope, wishes they hadn’t assisted in weakening him. Soon after, “John” tears the door away and, weak and feverish, he confronts Gwen. He tells her he needs gauze to conceal his face from the Hunter. “His eyes were wide, pleading…and sane.” Gwen acts without hesitation, helping him to the supply room where she wraps his head. Then the Hunter arrives.“John” goes out to face him and Gwen follows soon after.

There she experiences the full force and power of the Hunter. “It would have been impossible for any living thing to look at this man and not consider itself his natural prey.” She notices that Bill, Gordy, and Flack have already been disposed of and she sees “John” “facing the Hunter in a position midway between a crouch and the confrontational stance of a boxer.” The Hunter carries “curved jaguar tusks…both dripping with something black and foul.” He lunges forward at “John” and the battle continues, their movements impossibly fast. “Then they sped up, moving with such superhuman speed that Dr. Harris found herself unable to follow it all.” After a protracted battle, the Hunter gets “John” into position for a killing blow. But Gordy “charged across the room and piled into the Hunter with every ounce of his three hundred pound musculature. Gordy had been a star quarterback in college. He’d almost made it to the pros. He didn’t even budge the Hunter.” But he does distract the Hunter long enough for “John” to disappear.Gwen feels herself lifted off the ground, “up near the ceiling…and she found herself flying back down the corridor.” She soon realizes that “John” is carrying her as he runs along the ceiling. “John” tosses her into the storage room. She sees the Hunter pass by the room and hears him catch up with “John.” She can tell that “John” has lost.

She grabs some items from the supply room and follows, only to find the Hunter “holding John Doe off the floor by his neck.” Since “one of the first things she’d ever learned was that with great power comes great responsibility,” Gwen plunges two hypos full of Thorazine into the Hunter’s neck. The Hunter knocks her across the room and growls, “Stupid woman! When I’m done with him, I’ll break..your…neck!” “John,” who still thinks of Gwen on some level as his Gwendy reacts to this. “No! Not again!” he yells and becomes an “engine of destruction.” “A new expression entered the Hunter’s eyes. Helplessness. Terror.” And eventually, the Hunter flees. “John” stops to ask Gwen if she is all right, then he follows the Hunter.In the aftermath, Gwen asks for and gets the day shift. “The fingerprints and photographs taken of the perpetrator known as John Doe quickly disappeared from the filing room at the precinct house where he’d been booked – a locked room three stories up, with a single window that did not happen to be equipped with a fire escape.” Two weeks later, Gwen finds a dozen red roses in a vase on her desk with a note taped to it.

The note reads in part, “It was one of the worst nights of my life, which is saying a lot. I’ve had some bad ones, Doctor; you’ll never know how bad. But this was one of the worst. And you were there for me. You kept me hanging on even when there was nothing to hang on to. And though part of it was your accidental resemblance to a friend long dead and gone, even that wouldn’t have been enough if not for your strength, your courage, and your compassion…Thank you.” Gwen sniffs the flowers and a spider moves from the vase to the back of her hand. “As she studied it, the little thing froze in indecision, unsure which way to run. Tsking with sympathy, she took it to a window and set it free.”

If taken wholly in isolation this wouldn’t be all that terrible. it sort o combines two typical types of super hero stories.

a) the ‘everything you believe has been a product of delusion’

And

b) the hero is locked up in an asylum

In the ways the story works it works due to ‘Gwen’ being the POV character.

But that’s also it’s weakness. I find it a little difficult to believe that a NYC resident like Dr. Harris would honestly not deduce that ‘John Doe’ is Spider-Man. Part of that is her and the other staff dismissing ‘John�� mentioning his rogue’s gallery. Surely the Goblin’s implication in Gwen’s death and ‘John’s super human strength would be enough to put two and two together.

Additionally ending the anthology with a focus upon a random new character we will never see again is kind of...well lame. In theory this could have worked as a third party observer might’ve put some grander perspective upon who Spider-Man is and what he represents.

But since Peter isn’t exactly ‘sober’ in this story it winds up being about Gwen’s gradual discovery of who her patient really is.

And it executes that well but I’m just questioning the point of it. I suppose it makes for a nice full stop for the anthology because it manages to be touches upon Spidey’s broader history. But then again...there is a particular emphasis upon Gwen.*

Again in isolation this sort of makes sense (though much moreso if this was set shortly after her death) but within the context of the anthology it’s retreading old ground. And ground trodden better before I might add (Deadly Force utilized Gwen’s death far more effectively).

Perhaps the most egregious point about the story is that it’s placed in a weird place in the book. The entire anthology is intended to move along Spidey’s timeline but this story must obviously be set before Kraven’s Last Hunt and yet the prior story must’ve been set way later than that. Essentially this should’ve been the penultimate story and the prior yarn the actual final one.

But I suspect the editors recognized that this was the much stronger story and ultimately a more fitting tale to end the anthology on.

Other than that I have little to say about this story beyond

a) The narrator finally delivered a decent performance as Spider-Man, chiefly because Peter wasn’t in his right mind and therefore wouldn’t sound himself anyway.

b) Kraven was done pretty well, in that he was scary and intimidating.

c) Maybe this story prompted Castro’s eventual Sinister Six trilogy

d) For a story called ‘Untold Tales of Spider-Man’ this story doesn’t really take advantage of the concept. This story could’ve happened at almost any time after Peter had met Felicia and before Kraven’s death and it doesn’t really explore anything new. Even the prior story had Jonah react to Alstair’s Smythe’s new body and saw him teaming up with Gargan.

Over all...it’s not a BAD story by any means but I think there are much stronger entries.

As for the anthology as a whole, it’s a mixed bag but that’s to be expected. Anthologies are rarely anything but mixed bags.

But as anthologies go I have to admit this one was superior to Ultimate Spider-Man, albeit none of the stories in this book top the best material from the USM anthology.

*That makes 3 and a half stories that emphasis Gwen and like half a story that emphasises MJ. That kinda sucks.

#Adam-Troy Castro #spider-man #Untold Tales Of Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Gwen Stacy #Kraven the Hunter #sergei kravinoff

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artsyfartsywomen · 5 years ago

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All American Communist

I think a common thought for anyone who has seen Jackson’s Pollock’s art is “I could have done that.” And to be fair, it's not that wild of an idea. Splattering paint seems like a child’s play not one of a world famous painter. But Pollock’s work, and its significance go way beyond splatters of paint.

The United States wanted to prove themselves cultural superior to the Soviet Union so they supported American artists. However there was danger in this activity. Many artists have associated with left and communist groups, including Pollock. Pollock worked under communist muralist David Alfalo Siquieros (McBride). His style however allowed them to create an all American style of art.

During the Cold War, realism was the dominant style in Soviet art. There was no denying the beauty in these paintings so the United States needed to take a different approach to proving they were culturally superior. The State Department, and later CIA (the transfer of this duty is talked about briefly in this post) began to support abstract art. Those splatter and “not exactly this or that” type of art represented freedom of thought. “Russian art, strapped into the communist ideological straitjacket, could not compete (Saunders).” And I would say splatters is about as far as realism as a person can get.

Former CIA agent Donald Jameson: “We recognized that this was the kind of art that did not have anything to do with socialist realism… Moscow in those days was very vicious in its denunciation of any kind of nonconformity…”

It was “loud, brash, unrefined, and unapologetic — much like America (McBride).”

Sources:

“Modern art was CIA 'weapon'” by Frances Stonor Saunders

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-was-cia-weapon-1578808.html

“How Jackson Pollock and the CIA Teamed Up to Win the Cold War” by Michael McBride https://medium.com/@MichaelMcBride/how-jackson-pollock-and-the-cia-teamed-up-to-win-the-cold-war-6734c40f5b14

#my post #art history #jackson pollock #cold war history #abstract art #expressionism #history #20th century

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hellyeahomeland · 5 years ago

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“Deception Indicated”: an HYH recap

[The very final season of this show really does seem the perfect time to kick off a new series on this blog! Over the years I’ve expressed my dislike of recap culture, so I don’t know why I think this is a good idea. But I do! My goal here is to offer something a bit more light-hearted than Director’s Chair, a bit broader than the extremely niche Things Carrie Wore This Week, and much less time-consuming than listening to a 1-hour podcast. Let me know what you think! --Sara]

Our final season opens with Carrie, sleepless in bed, recounting some truly horrific memories of her time in capture. How does one describe this? She screams “not the coat, not the coat!” presumably talking about a straitjacket. She has what I can only describe as an imaginary orgasm, surrounded by wooden figurines to which she whispers, “don’t be scared!” Are we on the set of Girl, Interrupted? I have to believe this is the footage Claire talked about filming in 2018 that never made it into the final cut of “Paean to the People.” It’s all very…. wtf. I really don’t need it in my life.

Carrie has a mini anxiety attack (episode count: 1), because honestly who wouldn’t. She’s in Landstuhl Medical Center. Which is where Brody was before they brought him home in the pilot, and where Quinn was before Saul and Carrie effectively killed him too. ~memories~

Carrie asks for a half of a Lorazepam before returning back to bed. Apparently she’s seen our Twitter bio and feels the same!

We then get the rarest of Homeland occurrences: a montage! This montage has EVERYTHING! Carrie running, Carrie bun, Carrie getting her blood pressure taken, Carrie wearing an oversize sweater, Carrie going to meet Doug who is not Doug.

Instead it’s some hard ass CIA man Jim, who is Doug’s supervisor, believes Carrie is a Russian agent, and also apparently can’t read her file because he is asking her the same questions she’s already been asked 439 times. Three things:

1) This scene reminds me so much of a point in “Game On,” when Carrie is trying to get out of the psychiatric hospital and does her very best “I’m so grateful and agreeable and kind” act—which is an act, but also not really an act? She declines water, and makes small talk with Jim, and actually attempts a smile.

2) This scene also has a strong callback to the scene in the pilot where Carrie is questioning Brody at Langley. It’s intercut with flashbacks, similar to Brody with Nazir, and most importantly has a defining air of “hmm what is actually going on?”

3) Carrie sighs and sucks in her teeth at least 76 times. I LOVE YOU, CARRIE!!

Carrie is understandably pissed at Jim’s accusations but we don’t sit with that for too long because now we’re in Qatar, with Saul. He is still, for some unknown reason, the National Security Advisor to Beau Bridges. There is a scene where Saul explains what’s going on to a group of journalists and it has so much exposition and information-dumping in it it’s kind of admirable.

I had to watch this twice to understand what was happening but it goes like this: America is helping facilitate peace talks between Afghanistan and the Taliban, because it would really like to get out of Afghanistan after 20 years. But no one really trusts anyone else, and everyone is still pissed at everyone for literally everything that’s happened in the last half century. So yeah, things are going great! And this episode has TWO references to the embassy attack in Islamabad in season four, in case we’d forgotten (how could I ever).

Then the Afghan VP G’ulom is like FUCK THIS and calls a surprise press conference and says they’ll never agree to giving up Taliban POWs and don’t you know that Afghanistan is a lion? The dude who plays G’ulom has probably the best voice of any actor I’ve ever heard. The way he says “lions” over and over gives me chills.

So now Saul is like, hmmm what do I do?… Oh, I know, my homie Carrie! She’s just the person for this task in a war zone. Also the last time I asked her to do something like this it ended very well for everyone involved.

Saul goes to Germany to say exactly this and Doug and Jim look at him like he’s basically crazy, which he is. But Carrie is all in, but she’s still basically crazy too.

MEANWHILE, Max is also en route to Afghanistan for a mission. That’s right, Max gets his own band of hot Marines this year too! At least one of them looks like he would have been on Friday Night Lights 10 years ago. Mr. FNL thinks the mission is bullshit because it’s very dangerous and he has no idea what’s going on. That makes two of us, Mr. FNL! Also there is a hat.

The next day Carrie is in Kabul, being very Cool Girl with Mike Dunne (good lord I wish his name was Nick Dunne just for funsies), the Kabul Chief of Station. He introduces her to Jenna, who is…. both deer-in-headlights and also trying desperately to be Cool Girl too? This CIA culture is toxic. There is a glorious scene where Jenna is taking Carrie to her room and Carrie is forced to be in an elevator with her and is this the first time Carrie’s been alone with another woman who’s not a blood relative in years? Carrie’s annoyance is palpable. She tells Jenna to stop whining and stop taking no for an answer. The Carrie Mathison way™!

Tasneem smokes a cigarette while waiting for Saul, and it is glorious. I actually screamed! Saul apologizes for his earlier comments blaming her for Americans dying in the Islamabad embassy attack. In true Saul fashion, he uses this as a segue to accuse her of tanking the current peace talks, implying that he needs an “adult” at the table and GOD WHY DON’T YOU JUST WANT PEACE?? Tasneem is like, HOLD UP!!! You left the region when the USSR left, then you came roaring back after 9/11. Also, we fucking live here! We know that if the US leaves now, the Afghan state—WHICH BY THE WAY YOU BUILT—will collapse and the country will enter into a civil war, and all of this is not PEACEFUL the last time I checked. Saul just kind of stares at her, because she’s actually right and he knows it.

Cut to Carrie, doing all of her most “old school” spy tricks, including: something with a dial tone that this millennial does not understand, dressing up as someone else, flicking on lights as some sort of code, exiting through the kitchen, and riding a dusty motorcycle. I know it was a stunt double but Carrie just revealing her ability to ride a motorcycle after 8 years is thrilling. It’s like when she showed up in Tehran in season three with different hair and spoke French fluently.

She goes to meet an old asset, who drives her to meet another old asset, who it turns out is dead. Killed five months ago for being a traitor to the Americans. Carrie has another anxiety attack (episode count: 2) as it dawns on her that she probably gave up his name in the Russian prison.

Back on the Afghan mountains, we finally learn just what the hell Max is doing. It involves a decoy rock that has some sort of computer or listening device under it. Apparently they have no way to tap into Haqqani’s phone and Max is gonna save the day and get that fixed. We have to stan.

Carrie gets back to her hotel room and Mike Dunne is waiting for her, very concerned dad. Doesn’t Mike know Carrie already has a fake dad who feigns concern about her well-being? Their conversation goes something like this:

Mike: don’t give me that ask for forgiveness, not permission crap! Carrie: lmao dude, I don’t need your permission. I am here because Saul asked me, no one even knows who you are. Mike: we have THREE TEAMS looking for you. Carrie: I could not give fewer fucks. Mike: ... Carrie: ...But, by the way, how real is Russian/Taliban cooperation? Like… do they share advisors… or what about intelligence? Say, intelligence given up by former CIA officers while in a Russian prison?

Oh, she leaves that last part out. I’m struck here both by how bad of a liar Carrie is and also how good of a liar she is. She brings up Russia for some unknown reason (doesn’t she know that looks really shady?) and then nods her head, does the “oh, I see” routine, eyes darting… but then comes up with a perfectly believable cover story. There is a strange moment where Carrie and Mike Dunne both sort of agree to drop it and I don’t know why but I had this palpable feeling that there is way more to this relationship from pre-season four days (I guess that means there was a shift from concerned dad to ... something else). After he leaves, Carrie has another panic attack (episode count: 3).

Max and Mr. FNL and the rest of the crew have finally made their way back down the mountain but the hardest part remains. There is an excruciating sequence where, one by one, they make their way across this exposed field. Eventually the Taliban fighters do see them. There are gunshots but somehow, miraculously, they all make it out alive. Mr. FNL says Max is their “frosted lucky charm” and Max only stares at them because the mission? It was actually a success. They’re all up in Haqqani’s comms now.

The next morning, Carrie and Jenna are at the meeting to see G'ulom. Jenna—unwisely!—asks if Carrie is ok. She knows from Mike she was out late last night. Carrie gives a terse “I’m fine” before mentioning, oh by the way you know you’re just gonna wait outside of this meeting like a silly chaperone, right? Did Mike tell you that too?

Again, she doesn’t actually say this, it’s just coded Carrie language, dripping with passive aggression. I suppose when you’re brought up in a toxic, misogynist work culture, you’re probably trained to believe that every woman who is nice to you just wants something from you. (And Carrie may be right but my God is it amusing/depressing to see Jenna, dejected, plop herself down and sit silently with her hands in her lap.)

Carrie paces and does her trademark Brody finger tapping outside G’ulom’s office… when out walks a Russian delegation. Including one Mr. Yevgeny Gromov. WHO LITERALLY WINKS AT HER. I have to say I find Costa Ronin extremely hot, 75% of that attraction being that he wears a turtleneck 50% of the time.

His presence sparks a memory in Carrie: he was the one she implored to stay in the Russian prison, to not leave her here (was this a shock to anyone else, or just Carrie). She goes all wide-eyed, starts breathing heavily, and has her fourth panic attack of the episode. Cut to black.

#homeland #an hyh recap #deception indicated #*#by: sara #homeland spoilers

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