#Sam and Dean analysis

[wrenwinchester]

I keep seeing stuff about Dean, and how he deserved better, or blamed himself for everything. And I have to keep myself from defending Sam because Dean isn’t the only one. (If you can’t tell I’m a very Dean-coded Samgirl, and I have to remind myself that most of the time the creators of the edit, or post know this and they’re just highlighting Dean’s experience. And I can appreciate that.) so this is my Sam appreciation/defense post because I have feelings.

Sam deserved everything and more, he wasn’t always the best brother, but neither was Dean, and the ways both brothers struggle are with things they superimpose on themselves because they don’t know how to handle their grief, or how to live without the other. Dean tries to fix it by taking his brother’s autonomy, Sam tries to respect Dean’s autonomy when he dies, or something happens, it’s why he didn’t just go call an ambulance like he wanted to in the finale (I know I usually say non-existent finale, but I’m making a point.) it’s why he didn’t look for Dean while he was in purgatory, he figured Dean was probably in heaven, and he couldn’t imagine a world where taking that away from him was good. (Also he was traumatized, and tired of losing people.)

He went through so much crap, and it’s so overlooked by the writers, directors, and a majority of the fandom. And as someone who was overlooked growing up (even now frankly, I mean my parents were doing steak dinners for our birthdays now since we’re all adults, and they did for both my brother’s previous birthdays and my birthday we did burgers and hotdogs with the whole family which was fine, but also still left me out. Anyway), because they hid what they were feeling and going through and hid it well, it’s so obvious to me when someone else is hurting and it just bothers me so much to see it ignored in the fandom. Claiming to be a Dean Stan and hating Sam is outrageous to me because Sam is someone Dean loves so much. How you can hate someone he loves just confuses me.

I see so much of myself in Sam, a tired, burnt out gifted kid who gave everything his all until it was taken away. Who had his hopes and dreams and interests shunned and criticized by the people who were supposed to encourage him, and when he finally got out of that situation, he got dragged back in. (I know it’s more complicated, but I’m focusing on specific aspects.)

Now you don’t have to like Sam, or even some or most of his choices, but to hate Sam in Dean’s name is wrong. Dean loved Sam more than anyone else (yes this includes Cas, it may have been different, but he still loved Sam more.)

Dean himself said it best, “that’s my job right. Look out for my pain in the ass little brother.” And “I had to look out for you. Thats my job.” And “that’s my job right. Show my little brother the ropes.”

No one loves Sam more than Dean, and the fact that someone could love Dean and hate Sam just doesn’t compute in my brain. And again I know that’s not usually what’s going through these creators’ minds, but it still irks me 😂

[post defending/appreciating dean]

[wrenwinchester]

I love both Sam and Dean. And I’m not saying Dean didn’t do anything wrong ever, but I will defend them both until the day I die. Sam for obvious reasons, but also Dean. Because Dean was gaslit by his father growing up and it had lasting effects on him as it so often does.

I have more to say but not the mental wherewithal to put words together

what really gets me about sam hate is that 99% of the things he’s hated for, when applied to real life situations, are things that no-one should be hated for. not only that, but hating people for the things that sam is hated for would be considered victim blaming (that’s a mouthful)

hating someone for wanting to go to college and live their own life, instead of the unsafe and dangerous life their parent and sibling want them to live is not okay

hating someone for escaping an abusive household is not okay

hating someone for not trying to contact their family, after said family disowned them for going to college, is not okay

hating someone for having an addiction is not okay

hating someone for keeping something about themself a secret (especially if the person they’re keeping it secret from has previously shown how judgmental they are towards the things they’re hiding) is not okay

hating someone for trusting the wrong person, even tho that person went to extraordinary lengths to gain their trust, is not okay

hating someone for not blindly following their sibling’s every command is not okay

hating someone for unknowingly participating in causing something awful to happen, even tho they thought they were actually stopping the awful thing from happening, (especially when they willingly sacrificed themself and spend several lifetimes suffering in order to fix their mistake) is not okay

hating someone because they respected a mutual agreement and because they tried to move on with their life after losing someone is not okay

hating someone for trying to set boundaries after a person they trusted violated their bodily autonomy and for telling said person that they wouldn’t do the same thing to them is not okay

hating someone for expressing basic human emotions in a way that harms no-one is not okay

hating someone for standing up for themself is not okay

meanwhile 99% of the shit for which dean gets a pass, when applied to real life situations, would horrify any semi decent human being

telling your sibling that they deserved to be abused because they were out of line (in which being out of line actually means “you wanted to live your own life”) is not okay

vilifying someone for something they can’t change about themself is not okay

acting judgmental towards an aspect of someone’s life and then getting mad at them for keeping secrets regarding that same aspect is not okay

using someone’s faith to manipulate them into doing what you want is not okay

getting mad at someone for saving people’s lives, because you don’t like the method they’re using, is not okay

forcing someone into a torture-detox that almost kills them, then stalking them, calling them names, forcing them to choose between blindly following your every command and saving the world and then reducing the whole thing to “you chose someone else over me” is not okay

blaming someone for something you both unknowingly had a hand in, without taking responsibility for your own contribution, is not okay

deliberately hurting someone because their happy memories don’t include you is not okay

erasing someone’s memory without their consent is not okay

making someone’s mental illness all about yourself is not okay

blaming someone because another person cut their arm off (idk, this is the closest real life analogy to the soulless situation I can think of) is not okay

getting mad at someone for honouring a mutual agreement, berating them for leaving a job (a job you yourself had previously left) and going as far as shaming them for doing something as normal as shopping for produce instead of working is not okay

forcing someone to stay in a job they’re unhappy with is not okay

making someone think the person they love is in danger (especially if that someone already has a history of people they care about dying) is not okay

violating someone’s bodily autonomy and tricking them into allowing a foreign being inside their body without their consent, gaslighting them about it for months, making disgusting jokes about said violation, refusing to see the violated person’s point when they’re rightfully upset and not acknowledging that what you did was wrong, even after you went through the same experience, is not okay

telling someone that the upside of them being alive is that you need a sidekick is not okay

telling someone you wish they were dead is not okay

killing an innocent kid because of who their family is is not okay

literally trying to kill your sibling, repeatedly, is not okay (and I can’t believe I actually have to write this because the extents to which people will go to defend dean’s every action is /that/ ridiculous)

having a consistent pattern of doing things that you previously berated other people for doing is not okay

being misogynist, homophobic, ableist and racist because ~that’s just the way you were raised~ is not okay

trying to kill a child, telling said child that you will kill them and emotionally and verbally abusing them to the point of pushing them to self harm, because circumstances regarding their birth led to the death of people you care about and because their biological father is evil (two things they absolutely have no control over) is not okay

threatening a teenage girl with a gun because she doesn’t want to help you is not okay

acting entitled to know every detail about someone else’s life and getting mad at them for keeping secrets about themselves, all while you’re constantly keeping secrets, even about other people, is not okay

anyway my point is: sam hate isn’t actually about his actions, it’s about how the show and dean portray these actions. while dean negativity/hate (as rare as it is) is about his actions being objectively horrid

[greypistacchio]

EPISODE 6.15 "The French Mistake" IS SO VERY DESTIEL CODED

LIKE

it's actually so revealing that Jensen and Jared are staying in-character despite how surreal everything is? this is Dean and Sam in our world, and from the get-go it's pretty obvious that they are confused beyond words. like, Dean's "oh crap, I'm a painted whore" is just?? iconic?? authentic Dean Winchester moment!??? LOOK AT HIS FACE, BABYGIRL IS SO CONFUSED

and this is relevant to my point bECAUSE it's irrefutable proof that this is 100% Dean and Sam from the show, that they are themselves.

sooooooo

can we please talk about Dean eye-fucking Castiel into oblivion (as you do!!) until Misha stops acting the part, and right the hell away Dean figures out that it's not Cas and is just. no longer interested!?? he's like, alright i'm done with whoever this is!??

his face just falls

and he doesn't even look at Misha as he leaves, just like when he met Jimmy Novak and his homoerotic vibe simply vanished - because that's not his autistic soulmate, it's just Some Dude??

mind you, it's quite interesting to notice that Sam doesn't see what Dean means, because "dude, look at him". which is shorthand for, wdym Dean like he's wearing the trenchcoat with the blue tie, he looks like he doesn't know how to spell the word "hairbrush", he's eye-fucked you right in front of my face as he does.

BUT DEAN!! dean is just like, fuck no that ain't cas

not MY cas anyway!!

the destiel of it all, the dESTIEL IS JUST EXQUISITE

also "Hola, Mishamigos" as he tweets with his tie loose has to be peak Misha Collins energy like. that man was being paid to be unhinged onscreen. what a day it must've been for him

[chapelh1ll]

Here's my Sam Winchester x Preachers Daughter analysis for those who care!!

@mothercain

[ghostcreaturetypething]

Imagine you are a child. A youngest child. Your mum died when you were a baby. Your dad is…grief-stricken, obsessed, more of a drill sergeant than a father. But you aren’t alone. You have this brother. And he’s only four years older than you, but from the moment your mum dies he steps up as your parent, and he does his best but…he has the same parents you do. One dead, one whatever the hell John is. He has very little experience to go off as to what a good parent should be. But he feels like he needs to be one for you, so he tries, and he tries, and he’s your brother and he’s your mum and he’s your dad, and he’s sort of all you have, honestly. And he’s annoying, and over-protective, and however old you get he only ever sees you as his baby brother. Or his kid.

But you can’t complain about your parents to your brother because he is your parents, and your sibling, both. So in that you sort of are alone. But you don’t know any different, so you grow up thinking that that’s what a brother is, and then you grow up a little more and realise no, he was always trying to be more than that, and then suddenly you are both adults and you aren’t the baby hiding under your brother’s wing anymore, but you’re still stuck with him, this brother who insists on putting you first in everything he does, just like a mother would — but he’s not your mother, or your father, he is your brother, and he’s only four years older than you, an age gap that seems to get smaller and smaller the older you both get. And your brother — he’s flawed, and he has daddy issues, and he gets angry too easily and sometimes he hits things, which would all be very well if he was just your brother.

But he’s not just your brother, is he? He’s your parent, he had to parent you, he’s spent his life parenting you, which you never asked for, but he did it anyway because that’s just the kind of person he is, and for most of it he was a child himself and god he did his best and it wasn’t always enough but you are so grateful to him, anyway.

And now you’re both adults, two boys all grown up but he, he is…Not. Actually. It happened so incrementally, just like growing up, that you didn’t really notice until it was too late. But suddenly your strong, capable brother is a child. Which, to be completely honest…you don’t really know how to deal with. And, I mean, it does make sense to you, you suppose, because you’re clever, and you went to school, and you’ve always loved research, so you know how these things work now, a little. Your brother is a child now because, simply, he’s fucked up. From the trauma. The trauma of your childhood, right, but of course it wasn’t trauma when you were living it, it was just your life, and you didn’t know then that your brother was having to be someone so much older than his years because he’d been like that for as long as you could remember, but now he isn’t, and you are left with the child he should have been, who needs taking care of but still insists on taking care of you no matter what, and sometimes he kind of…can’t. Not like he used to. Because while you grew up, your brother grew down, and your brother who is your parent is suddenly somehow a child still — no, not still, he was never a child, but he is now, throwing tantrums and pouting and messing around, ever immature, frozen at the age you never got to see him be because you were a baby and then you weren’t a baby but by that time that person he was for such a short time was gone. Your brother stopped being a child at four years old. And now you’re finally old enough to try and parent him back…and he seems to need it. Your brother who never got to be a child is now very much a child, but he’s also still your parent, this child, and you are in your twenties and you have grown into a clever, sensitive, caring, capable young person and your brother…your brother has grown backwards. And you want to take care of him. But it’s hard, and he doesn’t let you, doesn’t want to let you, and he’s still the only parent you have so sometimes, deep down, you still want him to take care of you, and he does, and he does, and he does.

But the older you get, the less you need him, the younger he gets, the more he needs you — until you do need him of course, and then he is there, always there, reverting back to the person who saved and loved and cared for you as a child. And it’s sort of difficult to reconcile the two versions of him in your head. And you find yourself getting exasperated with his childish antics and then you find yourself smiling at him fondly as a glimpse of a much younger person shows through the shell of the soldier your brother was forced to become and then you find yourself getting angry with the overprotective controlling superior officer he tries to be and then you find yourself deeply grateful for the unshakeable big brother who saves your life over and over and over again.

And it’s disconcerting. And it’s difficult. But you owe him everything and you love him even more and so you just keep living with it. With him. And you don’t mention it. And he doesn’t, because he’s him and he never mentions anything. And you wonder if he even notices that things he used to face without fear, blank as a brick wall, make him flinch now. If he realises the steady, dependable big brother he had to be when he was too young to be depended on is now a mess of turbulent, childish emotion. If he thinks back to his littler self and envies him his competence. You hope not. You hope not. You know now the weight he carried. At least a little. And you think, infuriating as he his…he deserves to be a child at least once in his life dammit, just like everyone else. So eventually, you begin to catch yourself smiling at him more and more often, and you begin to grow desperately fond of the parts of him that are still young, the parts littler you never got to see. And sure, he annoys the hell out of you sometimes. But you are grown now, and you are understanding, and patient, and kind. And you love your brother. So you don’t mention it. And he doesn’t, because he’s him. But you make allowances for him, and you step in front of him now sometimes, and you let him be who he is, as long as he’s not hurting himself. Basically, you step up. Because you can, because you’re older now, and you’ve realised that, in some ways, you are actually more grown up even than your big brother. And so you try your best to look after him. Just like he used to do for you.

[bitchface24-7]

I love the dichotomy between Sam and Dean where they see each other in opposite lights. (lowkey a character analysis below)

We’ve seen how Dean views himself. He thinks he’s worthless, weak, stupid, and unloveable. He “hates what he sees in the mirror.”

Sam thinks Dean is amazing. He’s a phenomenal hunter and an even better brother. He stepped up to take care of him when dad fucked off. Dean took care of Sammy in ways most people would never understand. Dean is strong, kind, funny, witty, and undeniably gorgeous. Sam loves Dean with all his heart. No one will ever replace him. No one. Sam cannot live without Dean. If Dean leaves him, he’ll just be surviving.

Sam on the other hand thinks he’s a weirdo, a freak, an abomination. Something to put out of its misery since how could something so disgusting be alive in this world?

Dean thinks Sammy is brilliant. A keen eye and a knack for researching into unknown lore the brothers didn’t even know existed. He’s snarky, snooty, sarcastic, and sweet. Sammy knows the power of both his bitch stare and puppy-dog eyes. Sammy must know he has Dean wrapped around his pinky finger? There isn’t a goddamn thing in this world that tops Sam in Dean’s eyes. Sam is perfect. He’s both beautiful on the inside and out. Sammy is Dean’s priority, his main focus, his baby brother. Eventually it just switches to “mine. mine. mine.” in Deans head. Dean cannot live without Sammy, he’ll k*ll himself before he lives in a world without his baby brother.

Like??? HELLO?!?! I love them so much it isn’t even funny

[all-american-corpse]

So if I wrote the essay about how wincest (especially in seasons 1-3) actually perfectly aligns with the true nature of gothic literature and even drew actual evidence backed parallels to other works of gothic literature would anyone care orrrrrr

[destiel-wings]

Dean Winchester & hug dynamic analysis

I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.

Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:

The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.

(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)

Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)

I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.

Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).

He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".

In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.

So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.

This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).

I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).

And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language:

[creatorofarcadia]

It's been a while since I watched Supernatural, so don't take my opinions as gospel or anything. But I think Dean is self-hating to the point of narcissism in some ways. Don't get me wrong, I empathise with Dean and understand why fans largely do too. But his self-loathing warps his perception and becomes the centre of EVERYTHING and at times that really has ripple effects on those around him - particularly Sam.

Take their childhood, Sam has a right to mourn the fact that he didn't get a normal childhood. He's allowed to be angry that he didn't get a home, a present father, a stable community, and consistent education. But whenever Sam attempts to express his complicated feelings about his childhood, Dean immediately interprets it as ' oh I was supposed to look out for you. Are you saying I failed? Are you confirming I'm worthless?' which grinds the conversation to a complete halt. Because of Dean's intense self-criticism, Sam can never really be 100% honest with him or ask for support with his own issues, especially regarding their childhood. As anything outside of 100% gratitude just becomes another stick for Dean to beat himself with, and the conversation is immediately derailed.

Not only does Deans self-hatred mean that Sam's expression of his own experiences are pretty consistently shut down. In some ways, I think Dean strips Sam of his autonomy - he's so self-loathing, he sees every decision Sam makes as being about/a reaction to him. A good example of this is Stanford. Rather than understanding Stanford for what it was, an attempt by Sam to carve out a better life from himself and escape hunting. Dean views it as betrayal or abandonment, some re-affirmation of his own belief that he's not worth caring about. Rather than understanding it's a rejection of hunting, he sees it as Sam rejecting him. To Dean, Sam isn't attempting to find a better life, he's punishing the family.

Overall, it's interesting that people largely and rightfully sympathise with Dean due to his self-hatred. However, I don't see as much discussion about how his self-hatred doesn't just hurt him, it hurts those he's close to, as it colours his interpretation of their every action. Dean's self-loathing is always the biggest thing in the room and that has consequences.

[wrenwinchester]

So, I just made a post defending/appreciating Sam, so I want to make one about Dean too because while yes I obviously have some strong feelings about Sam, I also have strong feelings about Dean and Sam stans who hate him. Because again Sam loves Dean more than like anyone else. And because I’m a Sam-coded Dean girl. (Yes I know I said it the other way on the other post. I’m both okay. Shut up. I’m a middle child. It doesn’t have to make sense.)

I relate so much to Dean. Okay. He gave up so much of his childhood so his brother could have some of one. He always gave Sam more than he got and made sure Sam was safe.

Dean went through hell (literally!) for his little brother. And he’d do it again. Of course Sam deserves the world, but so does Dean. And they’d both die before taking it from the other. And they have.

I mentioned in my Sam defense post that Sam always tried to respect Dean’s autonomy, and that Dean tries to fix his grief, by taking his brother’s autonomy. And that’s still true, but it’s because Dean can’t see how a life without a brother by your side is worth living. He doesn’t see how Sam could possibly be happy living in his memories, memories of someone else’s thanksgiving, or being in hell. And Sam doesn’t get how Dean could possibly want to leave heaven just to be with him. They both have crippling self esteem issues, and neither knows how to communicate their needs with the other because they weren’t raised in that kind of environment and aren’t the most receptive to that kind of communication. No matter how much they try to be.

I see so much of myself in Dean. Always trying to stop the arguing when tensions get to high, being the peacemaker, and a parent’s shoulder to cry on from a young age. Rarely being recognized for sacrifices, sacrifices going unnoticed growing up, and being bad at sharing feelings because you never had the chance to truly talk about them growing up, and because you are tired of feeling judged for having feelings. He always did his best with what he had and he was never really given enough.

So yeah, you’re allowed to hate Sam or Dean. That’s your right, your prerogative, and your choice. But neither Sam nor Dean could ever hate the other. They are intertwined, bound together. Two sides of the same coin. And they love each other too much to hate the other.

Sam said it best when he said “and what do you think my job is? You saved my life. Over and over. I mean you sacrifice everything for me. Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

And sure, Sam didn’t always do it the way Dean would have liked, but they’re not the same person, and Sam has his own way of showing his love for Dean. But they both deserve that love.

[luxurystark-jackson]

sam being constantly treated like a child even when he’s an adult and dean being constantly treated like an adult even while he was a child

and then dean who’s always treated like he’s too dumb to know anything and sam being treated like he can never be wrong about any of the lore

[samwinchestermydude]

I think we as Sam fans should be more annoying and loud about the fact that his crossroad demons were men twice.

(This is me being pissed off about how people will say dean is of course bi due to some dumb shit like the siren, which was his brother, and “bi lighting” or something, and then turn around and say Sam is the straightest character. Like what.)

[ghostcreaturetypething]

On a Moment From The Dark Side of The Moon

“It’s okay mum. Dad still loves you. I love you too. I’ll never leave you.”

Okay, this…this is going up there in the top three Most Devastating Lines in the series so far. I can feel all the reasons why resting heavy in my chest, throbbing behind my eyes. But I can’t…express that, not well anyway, so I’m gonna try my best to write it down, because I want to, because it feels important. So, just…okay. Um. Hmm. For anyone who hasn’t come across this line yet, it’s Dean who says it. He…he and Sam are in heaven, re-living pieces of their lives, their best memories. This is one of them. Dean, at the table, wearing a t shirt with a teddy bear on it and eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich that his mum made for him — crusts cut off and everything. And Sam, who was only a baby when this really happened, Sam who doesn’t remember his mum, not really — he’s trying to get them to leave. They have things to do, places to be, as always. And Dean says, “I know, just, just gimme a minute, okay?” Just one minute with his mum. One minute to be loved. And then Mary picks up the phone, and it’s John, who’s not there, who’s moved out for a few days, and Sam’s confused, he thought his parents had the perfect marriage, but Dean — Dean remembers. “It wasn’t perfect until after she died.” And isn’t that just so John Winchester? The man who never could see what was right in front of him, who cared more about vengeance than he did about being a good father. And Sam, who makes this whole scene so much more painful simply by being there, simply by witnessing his brother’s memory, forgets about pulling Dean away and asks softly, “what happens next?” And Dean doesn’t reply. He just pushes back from the table and stands up, all six foot one of him, a grown man dressed in little boy’s clothes, and he goes over to his mum and puts his arms around her. And now he towers over her, his arms wrapping all the way around. But at the time, when this really happened, he was four and small, barely up to his mum’s waist. And he says:

“It’s okay mum. Dad still loves you. I love you too. I’ll never leave you.”

And…the acting here, the writing, it’s…phenomenal. Because you can hear, in the words and the way he says them, you can hear plain as day the four year old he was when he said those words for the first time. His voice is soft, so much less gravelly than usual. The phrases are simple, childlike. “I love you”, “I’ll never leave you.” Because that’s how all children who love their parents feel. They watch the big kids grow up and move out and they think, I’ll never do that. I’m going to stay with my mama forever and ever. I’ll never leave you. And this isn’t how the scene goes but I could…see him, too. As I watched it, the scene flickered, as though it was an overlay, and beneath it I could see little Dean, sweet blonde bowl cut and all, in his teddy bear t-shirt and his little plaid shirt, gazing up at his mum and trying to comfort her to the absolute best of his tiny four-year-old ability. Even though he was the child, not her. Even though, as John said in In My Time of Dying, she should have been saying that to him.

Furthermore, I think the fact that he said this at all, that he knew to say this, at four, is a perfect example of something small that just shows us exactly who Dean is. Who he has always been, from the very, very beginning: A kind, clever, deeply empathetic little boy who loves his family more than anything else in the whole wide world. And Sam, who is watching this scene play out just like we are…Sam, the littlest brother, who has spent his life watching his big brother burn himself up in the service of his family — Sam starts crying. He watches Dean interacting with their mum and his big, beautiful baby deer eyes fill up with tears, and I…I don’t know what he’s feeling. Sam’s psyche is separated from mine by more distance than I feel there is between me and Dean. But I would imagine…it would be something like how we the audience feel, watching that scene. Tenderness. Regret. Bittersweet sadness for the innocent little boy Dean once was and will always be and…isn’t, anymore.

It takes Dean a minute to register his brother’s reaction. He’s so wrapped up in the memory I’d wager he almost forgot Sam was there. But then he does, and, sweet oblivious idiot that he always is, he goes “What??” Like he can’t feel the weight this memory holds, like he can’t fathom why Sam’s crying. So Sam says, “I just never realised how long you’ve been cleaning up dad’s messes” and suddenly it’s like the weight settles back on Dean’s shoulders. Because this is special to him, a happy memory, and yet…and yet it just happens to contain the themes that make up his entire life. That make it so hard. It just happens to be yet another example of him stepping up to fix something that should never have been his responsibility in the first place. And it’s such a powerful moment for both boys, and a devastating one for us, watching them.

The boys, being how they are, will take different things away from this, I think. I think Sam will remember this for a long, long time after they get back home. Maybe forever. I think it’s helped him to understand his brother a little better, and for that he will treasure it. And Dean…Dean I think will want to forget. But he won’t be able to. And when he goes back to heaven…I don’t know if that memory will be there, anymore.

[kacievvbbbb]

There really is something about the way Supernatural writes younger siblings and how corruptible they are; it’s Sam with the demon blood, Abel and his love of Lucifer, Lucifer and the mark and his hatred He’ll even Chuck and his depression, his narcissistic low self esteem. They are never strong enough to fight the corruption on their own they always fall prey to it. And it is always the duty of the Elder to put them down when they do. To punish them

Cain kills Abel as his last act of love for his brother, Michael casts his beloved Brother into the recesses of hell in righteous fury, So many chances Dean was supposed to put Sam down to save the world it was woven into his blood, and Chuck…..Chuck turned Predator before he could become prey caged his sister before she could destroy him. Chick wrote these storylines into existence like he was scared scared of what his sister might have done. Scared that he would have deserved it. Every sibling is modeled on their relationship after all.

It’s why Sam and Dean fascinate him. Because Dean would burn the world to the ground before he ever took a knife to his brother. And maybe that’s what Chucks been looking for since the beginning to be loved so wholly corruption and all.

[schizosamwincester]

I get why people don't like how Supernatural makes a big deal about how being a vessel is an awful experience and then just kind of ignores that Castiel is using Jimmy as a vessel. It does also make me have feelings. That said, I like it because it is extremely Sam and Dean behavior. Castiel is useful to them. If they reckon at all with the fact that he's also putting a nice, normal guy through hell, then they could lose their extremely useful tool. They can't have that. So instead, like every other fact that makes their lives harder to deal with, they put that conundrum in a box and tuck the box somewhere away in the deep recesses of their brains where hopefully they never find it again. That's what they do.

Also I enjoy the whole horror of how even the good guys don't mind sacrificing some people for their cause. That too.

[xyxofspades]

Has anyone written a character study about Castiel and his predisposition to addiction yet?? Like I don’t mean just endverse!Cas- I mean aaaaaaall of Cas.

Yeah sure in endverse with the drugs and the sec and the etc etc but throughout the series Cas doesn’t seem to understand how to handle human luxuries and so when he’s at his lowest he indulges in really normal things like TV, but he does it so derangedly indulgently.

In S11 when he’s Casifer and we see him in his head when Crowley pops in there to try and pull him out he is glued to that little TV he’s got. He says Lucifer “mostly leaves him alone” and with the way he talks it sounds like he is literally not processing anything except what’s on that TV. He’s not processing Lucifer Rowena’s death, whatever the hell Lucifer was doing to Crowley that whole time, the attempts on the Winchester’s lives. Dude was not seeing any of it.

And that’s not the first time he’s done that either. In the season prior when Rowena had basically given him rabies, after he’d healed, he stuck himself to the TV in the bunker watching show after show on Netflix and trash cable. He’d seemed to develop a sort of agoraphobia and coped with it via television addiction.

Then there’s the scene in early season whatever number I can’t remember where the term “Team Free Will” was coined for the first time. Cas’s famous line of “I found a liquor store.” “And?” “And I drank it.” Cas seeing nothing but hopelessness in the face of the coming apocalypse decided to indulge himself in the human luxury of alcohol. This is the beginning of the timeline leading to the endverse but it still happens in the canon timeline.

Season 5(?) (same season?) (dude idk it’s been a while) around the time all those reapers were gathering Cas said something along the lines of “the world is ending, pick a vice and stick to it” and I cannot for the love of god remember what episode it’s in but if I find it I’ll edit this post.

And of course we all love Cas from that time he absolutely lost his shit and went around doing side quests like beekeeping- but Cas was doing all that as a coping mechanism for the guilt of releasing the leviathans. The sudden shift in personality, the listening to music in the car while Dean puts a lid on his exasperation, pondering the importance of lipstick, the boop he gives Kevin- all human things, or at least things he perceives to be human.

When Cas becomes human he throws himself into this little job at a gas station. He takes absurd, meticulous care of this gas station like he’s preening some sort of million dollar garden. It’s not about the job though, it’s about the humanity of the job. The human experience of working a garbage job for near nothing pay, that’s what he’s hooked into.

The bees, the TV, the minimum wage job, and of course the sex and drugs of the endverse- Every single time we see Castiel at a low point in the show, without fail, he throws himself into a new “humane” addiction. As much as I hate the finale I do think it’s fits his pattern for the last human vice he allows is to be Dean, himself.

There’s so much more little bits and pieces throughout the show I could bring up to touch on this, but these are just the ones off the top of my head. If anyone at all has a character study or a fic about this I would love to read it. The only fics I’ve found that ever touch on this are all about endverse and the sex and drugs thing- which is fine, but it goes so much further than that. If anyone else wants to add to this post please please please- there can be SO MUCH to be said about an angel of the lord with an addiction- honest to god addiction- to humanity.