#She needs to learn to forgive herself to be able to

[chocobje]

Book and Price Tag low budget comic because I love th

[night-night-stories-before-bed]

Breaking the cycle

Warning ⚠️; Grief, quick mention of child abuse, trauma, angst, past character death, let me be delusional. Spoils for Arcane all seasons.

Pairing: Silco/Male!Reader, Jinx & Male!Reader (Father Figure)

Summary; you were angry and hurt after the death of Silco, your lover and partner, by the hands of your adopted daughter Jinx. So you just walked away, needing time to heal. But how could a father stay away when his daughter needs him?

~~~~~~~~

You never imagined a life without Silco in it. From your time in the mine to now, he has always been there. Either by your side, in your shadow or his name being on someone’s lips. You couldn't recall a time without him except when you were a kid.

He had always gotten your back and you his. You had stopped counting the times you took care of his injuries or how many times Silco stitched you up. You almost lost him, still having nightmares about it even after his death.

You remembered how bloody and raw his face had been. You thought he was done for, but he had lived. Lived and with you had taken care of that ankle biter. Jinx had been a daughter to you the second you were introduced to her as you saw so much of yourself in her. She was a bundle of joy to you.

But now she was the reason of your greatest pain.

As Silco once said “Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?” and the answer was no. No there wasn't. For he had died by the hand of your own daughter.

You remembered screaming at the sight of Silco’s dead body as your heart and soul broke. His skin had been so cold when you cradled him in your arms, rocking and trying to wake up from that nightmare. Jinx had been crying, begging for forgiveness.

But you only felt anger and betrayal toward her. How could she after everything Silco had done and sacrificed for her? She was your only child and in a tantrum, she killed the only person who ever truly loved you.

How could you forgive her?

You had left, needing space away from her. Away from everything so you could heal and accept the reality. Easier said than done. Each morning you wake up cold in an empty bed, in a place filled with silence. Gone is the smell of cigars, makeup and coffee during the morning and it leaves a deeper hole in your heart.

The worst are the dreams and nightmares. The nightmares haunt you with the memories of the past of the mistakes you made. The dream teases you with a reality that isn't yours anymore. Like waking up next to Silco, being able to touch his face once more or kiss him one more time.

Either way, you always wake up crying, breaking more with each passing night.

Before you knew it, months had passed. You kept an ear out, listening to the news. Jinx was still being herself, but the tensions also grew. Even in your hole, you could feel it. It was a question of time before a single act blew everything up and conflict would turn into a bloody mess.

When you came back to your senses, grief still clouding your mind, you felt ashamed. You had turned your back on Jinx when she too was hurt by her own actions. You didn't know what to do, how to approach her and ask for forgiveness.

You wrote letter after letter, throwing away each one of them, disliking them. You couldn't find the right words until you stopped trying. You tried to explain to her how you felt, that you didn't hate her and forgave her just like Silco would have. You asked for her forgiveness for how you just treated her, knowing damn well you didn't deserve it.

After sending it, there was no answer.

Through the great vines, you learn that Jinx had taken a little girl under her arm. A child she had named Isha. Isha, what a sweet name you thought the first time you heard it. Jinx was still the kindhearted girl you remembered her to be and you were glad she had someone by her side even if it was a mute child.

Staying in the shadows, you watched over her. She seemed happy with that little girl, a spark coming back in her eyes. It was clear Jinx saw the kid as her sister, but that child saw her as more than that.

Jinx never noticed you, but Isha did. She came to you a few times and you always gave her a little something. Food, toys and even her own little gun once. Her smile reminded you of Jinx’s when she was little before Vi left. Maybe that was why Jinx kept her around, because Isha was just like her and she knew how to take care of the little girl.

You had wished to take your time coming back into Jinx’s life, but things took a wrong turn and you were forced to act quickly. The battle against Warwick took you by surprise, more than it should have. Why you didn't see it coming, you didn't know, but you showed up.

How couldn't you when your daughter was there, risking her life? But you didn't see her. Didn't see either her hair or heard her voice and you feared you had been too late. That she had died before you could ask for her forgiveness.

Then you heard her scream and just ran.

You saw a little flash of blue as Jinx screamed Isha’s name. The child looked at you as she passed you, running, a gun in her hands. Your blood turned to ice as you immediately knew what she was going to do.

You turned on your heels and followed after her. You were an adult, taller and larger than Isha and, more importantly, slower. But you managed to make your way through the battle and reach her as Isha raised her weapon. You snatched the damn thing from her and threw it in the air. Before it fell back down you took Isha in your arms and booked it.

Your legs and lungs hurt as you ran away, little hands grabbing your clothes. You gasped when the explosion happened, the blow hitting you in the back. You wrapped your arms around the child, trying to shield Isha as much as you could. Your body hit the ground with a loud thud and you felt your shoulder give up, dislocation.

Dust filled your mouth and nose, making you cough and sneeze. But so did Isha.

You opened your eyes, grimacing with pain before looking down. The kid was crying, her little hands rubbing her face. You sighed in relief seeing her unarmed. Unlike you. But you didn't care.

You slowly sat down hearing running footsteps coming towards you. You sat the kid on your lap still making sure she really wasn't hurt. Your shoulder was killing you, but you ignored the pain when Isha smiled at you before hugging you.

- “ISHA!” Jinx’s scream surprised you and you both looked in her direction.

Jinx was running toward you, her long braids bouncing all around the place. Tears rolled down her eyes you saw as she fell onto her knees next to you. You never got the chance to talk, your daughter wrapping her arms around you and Isha before she broke down crying.

You embraced her, letting her melt and snuggle against you. You weren't better as you began to cry as well, asking for her forgiveness. Jinx just nodded, whispering that you had nothing to be sorry about.

You closed your eyes, just wanting to savour the moment, but the next thing you knew darkness actually swallowed you up. You woke up on a comfortable bed, a small ball of heat pressed against your side. Groaning, you looked at what it was only to find Isha sleeping next to you. Her helmet had fallen from her head to the floor, but her hand still grabbed onto you. Little snores left her mouth and you smiled, passing a hand in her hair.

- “You are awake.” Jinx's voice almost scared the shit out of you and you froze, looking to the side.

Your daughter looked tired, like she hadn't slept in days. Maybe it was the case since you didn't know how long you were out. There was sadness and fear in her eyes as her gaze shifted to Isha. The sweet thing was unbothered.

- “Yeah. I guess I am.” You whispered, slowly blinking. “Jinx, sweety I…”

- “Don’t. Don’t say you are sorry. You have no reason to be, I understand. I got your letters I… just never knew what to reply and where to send them.” She cut you off, her fingers pinching the skin around her nails. “Thanks for saving Isha. I… I don't know…”

Tears filled her eyes and you offered her your hand. Jinx took it and you squeezed her delicate hand in your. You knew what she meant as you felt the same. Losing Silco had been painful, the worst pain you ever felt, but the thought of Jinx dying? Of losing your daughter to the cold embrace of death?

Oh, that sort of pain was unbearable. You wouldn't be able to keep living in a world without her.

- “I know princess, I know. That is why I was there, for you. I didn't want to lose you like that, not before asking for your forgiveness. I never should have left. I abandoned you when you needed me the most and I'll never forgive myself.” You said, voice low as to not wake up the kid.

Jinx dried her eyes before almost jumping into the bed. She dropped on your other side, arms around you as she buried her face in your unhurt shoulder. You grimaced a bit, body still sore, but wrapped your arm around her.

- “You are my daughter and you'll aways be. Nothing will change that, Jinx, okay?” You whispered in her hair as she nodded.

- “You scared me. When you lost consciousness I thought you just dropped dead. I thought… I thought I had lost you again.”

Her voice shivered as she fought back her tears. You closed your eyes, kissing her head. You didn't want to think about it. You weren't scare to die, but you also didn't want to leave Jinx alone with a child in her charge.

- “I’m sorry. I never meant to scare you so much.” You said, stroking her hair.

- “That's a lot of sorry…” She whispered and you snorted.

- “Yeah, I have a lot to be sorry about… What about the kid? How’s Isha doing?” You asked, turning your attention toward the sleeping girl.

- “Hadn't left your side ever since we got you here. She helped me take care of your wounds and your shoulder. I don't think she like the sound of dislocated shoulders.”

- “You didn't either at her age.”

She laughed and you smiled.

- “Dad… are you…” She mumbled, unable to fully ask her question but you knew what it was.

- “I am not going anywhere. I came back home, I came back for you and Isha.” You replied and Jinx relaxed against you as if you had taken the weight of the world off her shoulders. “But the kid is still your responsibility. You took her in, you are raising her.”

- “Too young to be a mom!” She whined and you chuckled.

- “Then be a big sister to her. Like I said, I ain't leaving you alone. We will manage. After all, me and Silco raised you well enough. I bet I can do it again.”

Jinx had tensed when you mentioned Silco but quickly relaxed again. She nodded and wrapped her arms tighter around you.

- “Sleep. You need it as much as I do.” You whispered and Jinx denied it.

Yet, it wasn't long until your daughter was fast asleep against you. You looked down at her, admiring the woman she was becoming. You were glad you had managed to save Isha, not liking the idea of her death destroying Jinx. She had lost so much, losing that kid would have been the last straw.

You fell asleep soon as well, wondering if Silco was watching over your little family from the other side. You felt a wave of sadness at the though of Isha never knowing Silco but chased the thought away.

Even if he was dead, you weren’t and you would make sure to share memories of him and Jinx’s childhood with Isha.

You fell asleep with a smile on your lips being finally back home.

[dunmesh]

can't stop thinking about dungeon meshi btw. how it comes down to being able to appreciate the hard and painful times because of the moments of happiness you experienced along the way.

it's about falin being able to forgive and look beyond the harsh way things were done- be it their father announcing he will send her away from the village or laios leaving her behind- partly due to her personality, and how she used to prioritize her loved ones' needs and emotions over her own, but also because of the positive impact that road eventually had on her. she knows her family was trying to protect her but what truly made it impossible to regret the path she had to take were the precious memories she made later on- it was learning magic and seeing new places and becoming friends with marcille and of course she couldn't hate it all, she was happy. it's about laios feeling so utterly miserable because on his end, it seemed like nothing good or enjoyable happened to him after leaving home, aside from the letters written by falin. but how long can a child be satisfied with another's happiness which he never got to experience himself?

so it really is beautiful that the series started off with him realizing that this journey allowed him to finally feel that happiness he was yearning for-

-and ended with everyone else realizing it too. when you first read chapter 11 it's just a funny gag about people not understanding laios, but it genuinely was too early for them to share his sentiment. they needed to come to terms with it on their own, with chilchuck opening up to them and senshi resolving the hovering mystery of his past and izutsumi freeing herself and joining their party and marcille facing her greatest fear. the winged lion was taking advantage of the loneliness and anger and pain lingering in laios's heart, but even it couldn't deny this. how, despite everything, he couldn't be satiated and his own happiness couldn't be complete without his friends' happiness too. how it was always about everyone enjoying a meal together.

and then there's marcille, who refused to admit it until the very end. it's in the way she had such a hard time fully accepting eating monsters despite how tasty she found them, not just due to how weird they were but also because she tried rejecting and burying her own pleasure and joy during this entire journey. from the very beginning, she was only willing to endure the pain and suffering.

as if she couldn't accept feeling an ounce of comfort, satisfaction, let alone happiness while falin was suffering on her own. and it might've been laios's reaction as well if all of this had happend a decade ago- i mean, that's exactly what he did back then. blaming himself for leaving her behind, being tormented by her loneliness and absence while falin was actually slowly moving towards a brighter future. it was him that was stuck, not her. but he kept focusing on her pain to ignore how deep the hole in his own heart had become, consumed by guilt to ignore his own agony, or to make sense of it- because maybe he did deserve it after all he had done.

and for that reason marcille was so terrified of admitting there was warmth in what she considered the depths of hell. because it would mean accepting falin going ahead of her and leaving her behind, accepting the inevitable she was trying so hard to deny and the end of her dream.

but it was learning there's joy even in her worst nightmare that allowed her to finally embrace those moments of pleasure that made her life worth living, however short they were. she realized that her pursuit would take away the things that truly mattered to her, that if she had succumbed to her fear of loss she would've been the one hurting her loved ones, just as happened to thistle. laios asking her to use ancient magic for falin's resurrection and then encouraging her to not give up on her desires during the nightmare chapter was a direct parallel to delgal being the one to push thistle down the road of destruction, while both marcille and thistle were trying to protect the people most important to their friends.

but in marcille's case, laios was able to understand her at the end, pulling her back just before she descended to complete ruin. it's truly fascinating how the story is not only about laios being understood but also getting to understand others properly, deeply- it's about mutual understanding, the balance between two people he never managed to maintain before. and i think it's only after seeing thistle's tragedy that he was able to fully realize what might become of marcille down the line. so while delgal put the weight of the world on thistle's shoulders, laios was the one to tell marcille she doesn't have to do that. because even if falin's resurrection hadn't succeeded, they both already know- there's happiness even in the dungeon's pit. and it's by preparing a hearty meal made of her loved one's remains that marcille was able to truly accept it- thus allowing herself to enjoy it to the fullest, embracing the cycle of life, no matter how weird or painful or grotesque it is.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Cat claws

Day 2: Scarred.

Summary: Maybe he can forgive Nuts.

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Word Count: 1177

Warnings: cat being mean to hazel :(

A/n: azzie just loses his mind in tis lmao nd you cant blame him hazel's the most adorable little thing ever 🥹 yall just wait till she begins talking azs going to sob his eyes out (subtle foreshadowing 🎀)

@azrielappreciationweek

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Azriel watched, amused, as Hazel attempted to crawl towards the black furry creature that sat in the corner licking its paw.

Hazel had only started crawling a week or so ago, and Azriel absolutely loved watching her drag herself around. It was often amusing to see her get angry when the carpet slowed down her movements when it caught on her clothes, or when she bumped into the couch and glared at it.

She would always turn to search for Azriel when that happened, letting out the loudest yell her tiny body could muster as if ordering him to get rid of the offending item.

Even barely eight months old, Y/n always said Hazel had her father’s ability to glare and grumble.

Azriel always scoffed in return to that statement before forcing himself to stop and realise him being grumpy only proved his mate’s words to be true.

Hazel was currently looking at her father with her brows furrowed, and Azriel blinked, coming back to the present as he realised she was trying to move over the carpet. He grinned at the anger on her face and stood, bending down once he was close enough to pick her up.

He set her down closer to the cat Y/n had insisted on getting after Hazel’s birth, her reasoning being that their daughter needed a friend and then named him Nuts.

Hazel and her best friend Nuts.

‘Get it? Hazel-Nuts’ She had giggled.

It made Azriel laugh back when she had suggested it, but soon enough he’d realised she was not joking. At all.

Azriel watched on with a smile as Hazel reached Nuts and tried to grab his fur. Nuts walked away without a look in her direction, which always pissed Azriel off. Who did the creature think it was?

"Azriel, that’s a cat. He does not understand how to act with a baby-" Y/n called out from the kitchen, having peeked into the living room to see what had caused her mate to get so mad that his emotions reached her through the bond.

"Well how long does it take to learn? I swear to the mother one day I'm kicking him out if he continues to bully my daughter."

Azriel heard Y/n sigh and walk closer to him as Hazel crawled towards Nut again. He now sat closer to the hearth, where a fire burned red to ward off the winter chill that was beginning to set over Velaris.

"Az-"

But Azriel did not hear the rest of Y/n’s sentence.

His ears began ringing as he stepped forward as if in a daze, eyes sharp on the raised paw of Nuts, who, having seen Hazel get close to him again, tried to hit her.

The firelight glinted off his claws.

And then Hazel’s loud cries filled the room as her head reared back, eyes clenched shut in pain.

She had a habit of flopping on her back when she was mad. Azriel had never really worried too much about that particular habit of Hazel’s until now, when she was too close to the fire and the tiniest movement would end up with her-

No, Azriel did not want to complete the thought.

In that moment of panic, Azriel did not care that there was a glass covering separating the fire from the room, and that no matter what Hazel did, she would not be able to be burned.

In that moment all that mattered to Azriel was that the fucking cat living in his house had the audacity to hurt his daughter.

Azriel grabbed Hazel, frantically looking over her to check for her injuries. There weren’t any big claw marks, but the tiny scratch on the chubby flesh of her upper arm connecting it to her shoulder made Azriel see red.

He turned to glare at Y/n as he pulled Haze close.

"I am telling you Y/n. If by the time I return, that bastard is not out of this house, I will drop him into the sidra myself."

Y/n’s eyes were helpless, but Azriel did not wait for a moment longer as he walked out of the main door and took flight, his only mission to find Madja and get his daughter healed.

He did not want her to be scarred like the hands cradling her.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Flying back home, Azriel decided that he needed some time alone to figure out why he had reacted so harshly.

He knew Y/n had been right. Nuts was an animal. He did not understand how to treat babies. But Azriel did not want to admit that.

The stars were out, so clearly visible as Azriel flew his daughter back home. It had been over an hour since he’d left the house in such a hurry, wishing he could strangle the cat.

He had taken to the skies after Madja had assured him that Hazel would be fine, and had his emotions not been so high and panicked, maybe Hazel wouldn’t have cried at all. After long moments of being assured by Madja, Azrie finally calmed down and left.

"I’m sorry baby. Did I scare you?" Azriel mumbled, glancing down at his daughter who stared up at the sky with wide eyes. She only giggled back in answer.

The innocence in the sound made Azriel smile.

The smile faded just as quick as it had come when his eyes fell on his hands cradling her head and back.

They once were soft and smooth like Hazel’s. They once had grabbed his own parents hand with as much love as he now grasped his daughters. Only now, they were uglier.

If Y/n heard his thoughts, she would have yelled at him and forced him to say they were beautiful. But Azriel knew better. They weren’t, and they never would be.

The only thing he liked even a little about his hands was the fact that their texture was so different from other’s hands, Hazel always immediately figured out she was in her father’s arms.

Y/n always talked about how the same scarred hands he despised were the reason she and Hazel felt safe. Those words echoed back to Azriel when he began doubting himself. It always made him feel better.

Hazel squealed loudly when Azriel dipped lower, air pushing gently against her back.

She was so pure, so innocent. She did not even know of the cruel world she was born in.

And Azriel swore to keep it that way. He had hoped the world outside his father’s dungeon would be better, once, and quickly realised that there were people in the world that would pounce at the chance to scar innocent souls just for the sadistic pleasure of ruining their lives.

He did not want her soul to turn out as scarred as his too.

As he finally landed on the front porch of his home and heard loud meow’s coming from inside, he contemplated letting the cat stay.

Maybe a cat’s claw scratch was not that bad.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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[dvthomir]

Synopsis; you’ve been loyal to Rhaenyra since you were children, becoming lovers later on. After the tragedy of Storm’s Ends, she doesn’t have to mourn alone.

Warnings; grief, death ( lucerys’ ), guilt, Daemon and Rhaenyra never got married.

Pairing; Rhaenyra Targaryen x reader

I haven’t written much in years and am very rusty, however the got / hotd hyperfixation never left and here I am writing again. Please forgive any mistakes, and how short this is.

Grief was devastating to say the least, especially when the one you’re mourning happens to be your child. You shared Rhaenyra’s pain and grief to an extent, although you couldn’t imagine how she felt learning the death of Lucerys. He was such a young child still, eager to help his mother and make her proud, only to unfairly die alongside his dragon.

Many times in the past, you had been Rhaenyra’s rock, helping her through everything- from her mother’s death to holding her hand as she gave birth. It always had been her and you against this cruel world and this would never change, but having to stay strong for your Queen was tougher than ever- a part of you was getting eaten up by the guilt, you should have been the one sent to Storm’s End.

You weren’t a dragonrider per se, but over the years, Syrax and you bonded and she let you ride her even without Rhaenyra’s presence, although this was a rare occurrence. One day, many moons ago, your lover told you Syrax could feel the love you had for one another and that was the reason she liked you so much.

You shouldn’t have let Lucerys rides Arrax to Storm’s Ends, it was obviously dangerous and you let the worst happen- for that, you would never be able to forgive yourself. If only you had insisted to be the messenger, the boy would be safe and with his mother. Learning the context of how Lucerys died, killed by Aemond Targaryen, made you drown in even more guilt as he most likely wouldn’t have harmed you, he had no revenge to seek out on you.

Riding Syrax was something you had done countless times, your arms wrapped around Rhaenyra’s waist tightly, the wind caressing your face as you would enjoy the beautiful view- it was one of the things you enjoyed the most but this time was unlike all the ones before. Rhaenyra and you were here, on Storm’s Ends to recover Lucerys’ remains if there was any left.

Your eyes closed tightly as Syrax neared the beach where fishermen were going through their finds of the day. Your heart tightened as you could make out what resembled a dragon’s wing on the sand, covered by a fishing net. The impending confirmation of what had happened in the sky of Storm’s Ends was terrifying you, you weren’t ready to bid farewell to one of the children you helped raise.

Your beloved had mostly been silent since her uncle, Daemon told her of Lucerys’ fate after delivering the message. This moment was replaying in your head, Rhaenyra’s words echoing in your ears.

All the close members of the Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen’s council were attending the meeting- council whose members were essentially composed of Lords, the Queen herself and you. You weren’t a soldier, a Lord or anything of the sort but wherever the Queen went, you accompanied her, advising her if she asked for your input.

When Daemon interrupted the meeting by his entrance in the room, and simply by the look on his face, you could tell he was the bearer of awful news for the Queen. This was proven true mere seconds later as he informed Rhaenyra and you of the death of Lucerys.

Rhaenyra remained silent, staggering ever so slightly, trying to accept what had happened, what the fate of her young son had been. When she turned around, facing her council, you could discern the pain on her face, even if it was hidden under her anger and need of vengeance.

Your heart shattered into thousands of pieces when you heard the news Daemon was bringing. Rhaenyra’s sons might not have been yours biologically wise, but you had helped raising them and always loved them as if they were yours.

“ I want Aemond Targaryen” was the only thing the Queen said to the council that terrible night, and quite honestly the most she had said since she learnt what had happened to her dear son.

As soon as Syrax landed on the sand, next to the fishermen and smallfolk who ran for their lives immediately after they saw the yellow dragon approaching the beach. Rhaenyra was the first to land on her feet, directly heading for the fishing nets you noticed when flying atop the dragon. You rushed after your lover, quickly catching up- she dropped on her knees, taking off the nets from the remaining of Arrax’s wing and what resembled of Lucerys’ clothes.

Rhaenyra broke into sobs, the reality of her son’s passing dawning on her, mourning him as she held the clothes tightly against her chest. It was your turn to drop on your knees, right next to your lover, whom you held close, she leaned into your embrace as you mourned alongside her, finally allowing the tears to flow down your eyes freely.

Syrax watched the scene from where she landed, roaring her pain and grief away, both from sharing Rhaenyra’s emotions as well as mourning Arrax, her own son.

[babyangelsky]

It's interesting, isn't it, that Fujisawa and Kaori's reactions to learning about the affair both essentially boiled down to: "Not only did you have sex, you had sex with a man."

Kaori openly says that she would've better been able to forgive and forget the affair had Kazuaki been with a woman. Fujisawa is angry that Sei had sex at all and he's especially angry that it was with a man. He was so much more demeaning than Kaori was but it all comes down to the same disgust about sex.

Fujisawa didn't have to say outright that he thought Sei was dirty and wrong for having sex with a man for us to understand what he meant when he said this. It was in his tone and his expressions and even his actions. Forcing himself on Sei was a way to re-exert control and punish him for being dissatisfied enough with their situation to seek out someone else.

Meanwhile Kaori has such a profound need to not talk about things or acknowledge them that she mails her boyfriend his phone back instead of talking to him face to face until she's left with no other choice. And when they do talk, she STILL can't make herself break up with Kazuaki or even admit that she's dissatisfied in this relationship.

This is what the swamp does to people. However much it may be a social construct, a bullshit idea used to shame and control, the damage that it does is very real. Not just to our perception of sex, but to our perception of ourselves, our relationships, and the people around us.

Fujisawa's a whole can of worms but let me be clear about Kaori. She isn't wrong for not liking or wanting sex. That isn't a problem. That is just as much of a normal state of existence as wanting and liking sex.

The problem is that she has actively avoided thinking about it or questioning it to such a degree and for so long that she hurt not only herself, but her partner as well. She's desperately clinging to the idea of what a normal woman is supposed to be. She couldn't even bring herself to end a relationship that society has taught her she's supposed to want even though she does not want it.

THIS TOO IS THE WORK OF THE SWAMP. THIS IS WHAT PATHOLOGICAL COMPLACENCY LOOKS LIKE.

Reading this I realize it may not entirely be a straight line that I've drawn between point A and B so I hope it makes at least a little sense. I do think there's an argument to be made that there's internalized homophobia at play here for both Fujisawa and Kaori. Especially for Kaori since she admitted that Kazuaki's masculinity turns her off, but my brain is vibrating far too much to make it right now.

[fandomhcs]

dating malenia would include:

good luck getting her to admit her feelings!!

however, if you succeed in wooing the goddess of rot? you may never find a softer hand, or a more gentle love than hers.

malenia, first of all, would NEVER in a million years believe that she was worthy of love, of a relationship. romance is, and may always be completely foreign to her.

her life has been nothing but duty, war, and rot for so long she never dreamed she would find love.

and yet here you are, standing your ground and proving to her time and time again that your feelings for her are true and pure. you break her, at first. you tear apart the world, the life she saw as her future. you shook the very foundation of her.

miquella would never let her hear the end of it. she could hear him laughing at her, even now.

while the beginning of your relationship with malenia would be rocky, full of doubt and fear, if you can get past that with her? if you can stay by her side? you will see a side of her no other being ever has.

she is naturally quiet and reserved, more keen to stay in the background and observe you rather than be involved in conversation. only a select few can get her to speak, much less hold a full conversation with her.

you come to learn that she is not at all as scary as she seems. sure, there is a great passion for violence within her. but that passion for violence, her confidence in battle, did not stem from rage or hatred. she fights because she wishes to protect those that she loves. she fights because she feels like she is the only thing standing between this world and her beloved brother.

the two of you often sit and read under the haligtree, enjoying the peace and quiet of each other's company.

you braid her hair, hushing her whenever she complains about the rot touching your skin. if you were scared of the rot at all, you wouldn't be with her now would you? she concedes, and over time does become used to your touch.

you may never need to tell her when you are angry, sad, or scared. she'll know. she is attuned to you in a way no other person may ever be. you can always confide in her, can always expect her reassurance and advice if wanted. she will never leave you to deal with your own problems alone.

whether you need her to be a shoulder to cry on, a knight in brilliantly gold armor, or a steady hand to strengthen your resolve, malenia will fulfill that duty. she make it her top priority to make your life as easy and peaceful as she can.

she'd never ask you to stay out of a battle, or tell you that you aren't able to leave the haligtree. but she lingers, she stays by your side more than she should. the idea of something harming you turns her stomach more than the rot. fear isn't something she is used to, but the first time she sees you hurt in a fight she panics. the threat is dealt with in short order, and she is beside you in a blink of an eye. her hands roam your face, your arms, your stomach. when she finds your wound the hiss of pain you let out feels like a sword through her gut.

it takes no time for her brother to heal you, but she cannot let you go for hours after. her fingers stay wrapped in yours while her other hand smooths back your hair. she doesn't allow herself to speak for a long time, until finally you hear her beg your forgiveness.

you know, that even after you reassure her it will take days, weeks, for her to feel safe to leave your side again.

she tries not to coddle you, but does sometimes fail. she knows your are capable. she knows that, she swears. but she cannot stop herself from standing vigil at your side whenever you leave the safety of your shared home.

her insecurity, her fear, can take a toll on your relationship. but if you talk it out with her, if you convince her that you are here to stay, and that you are safer with her than without, eventually malenia will bloom. (NOT THAT WAY.)

with time, and patience she becomes your strength and you her joy. she lets you drag her to the capital for visits with her parents, to sweep her up in a silly dance with music drifting through the haligtree. she smiles more, laughs more, and finally feels content in a way she never imagined.

her bad days may never fully go away. there will be days where she cannot fight the rot writhing within her, where she cannot move for the pain. there are days where she cannot let go of your hand for fear she may never feel you again. but those days get fewer and far between as time goes on.

the two of you become a team, a power couple feared by her siblings and respected by her people.

and random side note, occasionally you may or may not be able to convince her to let finlay join your bedchambers.

[nanacriedpower]

My favorite perspective in alien stage is the religious one

I think ALNST, above everything, is a story about human nature; about how human beings will always, even if the world we know disappears and the human race has to start again, create their own god. One of the main aspects that differentiate humans from other beings is the need for something to believe in; the inherent search for a purpose. The desire to fill a role and to find roles to your fellows.

Therefore, in a context where the otherworldly brought nothing but destruction; where else would the humans find divinity but in each other?

With this in mind, I got myself wondering which religious aspect each character represents and after thinking (and rethinking) my own answers, I was able to fit each character into an archetype from abrahamic religions (specifically Catholicism, since I was raised a Catholic so it’s what I know about best). Well, there it goes:

Till: hope/light

Till represents a hope for something different, in his rebellion, he brings the message that there might be more than this, than the situation they’re currently living in. His personal resistance brings the sense of hope and enlightenment; of an awakening in some kind. Hence, for Ivan, he’s like a shooting star, bringing light in the night as he burns.

Ivan: sacrificial lamb/devotion

Once I thought Ivan might represent martyrdom, but then I realized his sacrifice was not for a cause, or to give a message. It was done out of love, yes. But it was made to save a specific person, just like the “people of god” would kill the lambs and paint the doors with its blood to save their first born. In his case, he gave himself away as a proof of love, he was, simultaneously, Abraham and his son. An offer made purely because of and out of love and devotion.

Hyuna: Martyrdom

Different from Ivan, Hyuna didn’t sacrifice herself as a proof of her love, but as a massage OF love. She lived as the promise of a “paradise” (the rebellion) and died so Luka could learn how to love. She risked her life daily to spread a message and to try and save as many as possible. Therefore she died for and because of Luka’s sins, hoping her death would be his salvation from the numbness and indifference he treated human lives with. The “Luka” we see in the show, the hints of humanity he portrays, were Hyuna’s creation; the shadow forever haunting her mind was also her creation, for her friendship with Luka resulted, indirectly, in Hyunwoo’s death; and the Luka we’ll get to see after her sacrifice is also her creation. Her suffering is for loving the “perfect performer” too much: ironically, her so flawed and imperfect design. Her death was meant to absolve him for his sins. “Forgive yourself, for my death is going to clean you. From now on, live with love”

Luka: shame/guilt

Ironically enough, Luka represents the two emotions he doesn’t seem able to feel. Luka is able to bring these two out of the deepest drawers inside anyone that comes across him. These being the most powerful tools in religion, Luka is able to control the others by reminding them of what they lost and the self blaming and loathing that come together with grief. His power is inside foreigners’ minds, for he doesn’t seem to have much of an identity when he’s alone. In his relationship with Hyuna, it becomes worse, because not only she is reminded of what she lost but because she yearns to be cradled by the same hands that ended his brother’s life, and that sends her into a spiral of guilt, shame, hatred, but also the purest form of love.

Sua: divinity

Sua’s ethereal appearance isn’t the only thing that makes her godlike. She knows and withholds the truth about the macabre game they’re inserted in(omniscience), and yet, she appears composed and flawless most of the time. She is able to earn people’s trust even when not revealing part of what she knows, she is able to shield and protect them in a way. She makes decisions that involve others, without consulting them previously because they don’t need to know all her motives. Even with the illusion of her divinity being defied by mortality, her being the first to perish in the 50th edition eternized her in a way, for she started having a certain omnipresence in the narrative.

Mizi: innocence

Mizi’s obliviousness to the reality around her made her the chosen one by her god (Sua). The purity that comes from her innocence makes her able to live and love fully, being completely honest in every single aspect. Mizi hadn’t been corrupted by the fruit of awareness, therefore, temporarily she’s still living in paradise being the ANAKT her own Eden. That illusion ended in My Clematis, when she first had a philosophical realization: god is dead. ————-

I’d also like to point out, although each character has their own development and individuality, it is impossible to treat them as “their own person” in alien stage. Narratively, this is a story about human relationships and the characters existences are inherent to each other. For this reason, you might have noticed every single analysis has characters mentioned other than the main subject. Alien Stage’s dynamic of storytelling is in duos, “a la comedia del arte”. I’m adding this as a late disclaimer because I’ve seen a lot of misused “therapy speak” on this fandom and I can already hear the “they don’t depend on each other 👺👺👺” comments. They do. Humans are inherently social and we all depend on each other, which is maximalized in a universe where each other is pretty much (literally and existentially) all they have.

If I get any “they’re all toxic” comment people are getting blocked, not because they’re objectively wrong but this is the dumbest and more superficial way of analyzing the characters’ dynamics (in my humble opinion) and no one is about to piss me off on my own phone

thank you for coming to my ted talk🫃🏼

[lacyscabinet]

ellie williams with blind reader

I JUST CANT FIND THIS ANYWHERE AND I THINK ELLIE WOULD BE A SOFTIE WITH THE READER😭😭

A/N: HELLO POOKIE!!! I love love love this request so much and I had so much fun writing it, thank you so much and I wish you a wonderful day!🤍🤍🤍 It was supposed to come out WEEKS ago but I got sick because I have the immune system of a Victorian child and I forgot to post this, I beg on my knees for forgiveness 😔✋🏼

give me feedback, gays 💜

NAVIGATION

okay so where should I start...

First of all can we say that being blind ESPECIALLY in an apocalyptic world is not EXACTLY ideal...

While Ellie may not fully grasp how you experience the world without sight, she knows what it's like to feel isolated and alienated

She’d make it her mission to keep you emotionally safe, always checking in with you, and gently coaxing you to talk when you’re feeling down or scared

BUT I'd like to think that Ellie wouldn't treat you like a little child just because of your condition, she knows you just need some extra help for some tasks

Ellie would totally read books out loud for you, because I don't think braille would be a thing in the apocalypse

She doesn't even mind doing it and she actually loves being able to help you with that

she might sit with you at the end of the day and read aloud from any scraps of books she can find out on patrol. If she doesn't have a book handy, she might make up stories on the spot, trying to paint vivid images in your mind

Sometimes if she doesn't have any ideas she'd just tell you about her adventures on patrol

...and it would be hilarious sometimes-

"Alright, so I was getting chased by this huge group of clickers, right? And they’re all like… trying to get me, but I’m just this...stealthy ninja, dodging left and right— Anyway, I had this crazy plan, and I kinda... tripped but, hey, that’s the story of how I almost died!"

I also believe she would be SO worried whenever she leaves for patrol because she knows you'd have to stay alone for a while.

Ellie would likely become hyper-aware of your other senses. Since you can’t see, she would focus on sounds, smells, and even tactile sensations to keep you informed of your surroundings

she might tap your shoulder lightly to guide you if you're about to bump into something

She would hold your hand to guide you when walking through a dangerous area or wrap her arm around your waist to steer you through crowded spaces in Jackson

Even though you’re blind, Ellie might still try to teach you about things that can be learned through other senses.

She could explain how to recognize different plants or what types of birds are nearby by their calls

Maybe she’ll even take it upon herself to teach you how to identify objects or places by their texture or sound, making you feel more connected to the world around you.

"This one’s a little tricky, but feel the texture of this rock—it's rough, right? Man, I love rocks..."

Ellie might get frustrated at times, but never at you, more at herself: she feels like she can’t do enough to make your life easier.

She might worry about how you experience the world, wanting to fix everything but realizing that some things are beyond her control

This would lead to moments where she becomes fiercely determined to find a way to help, trying to make things better in any way she can

"I just wish I could give you more, you know? I wish I could make you see the things I can see, just so you don’t feel like you’re missing out on things."

Overall she would be such a pookie because she's Ellie and she's a cutie patotie (and she also reduced the population of Seattle by 50%)

[forest-creaturre]

Sehkmet the Just. Devoted Paladin of The Lord of the North Wind; The Wyrmking; King of Good Dragons; The Platinum Dragon Bahamut

More silly Tavs. haha can we tell that I started out drawing animals and have for way longer than I’ve drawn people?

Sehkmet’s an Oath of Vengeance Paladin and always keeps her word, or will die in the attempt.

I imagine she’s been resurrected once before after falling in battle against the cult of Tiamat.

She devoted her life to serving as an instrument for Bahamut’s vengeance after losing her clan to followers of Tiamat as a wee cub.

So she’s very devout, but also gets to be a whole himbo, as a treat. She and Hollow (my durge) would ask together with full earnestness ‘what animal is the pink panther’ and Sehkmet would probably forget after a week.

Some Headcanon-y Things

Heals by giving lil’ forehead kisses and will absolutely not tolerate anyone hiding injuries, she’s lost too many a good ally to let that slide.

Helps with cooking by prepping the food so Gale has a little less work to do; Can freeze food for later too

White Dragonborn are more adapt for the cold, so Sehkmet’s got a thick downy fur, ideal for cuddling; everyone has slept with at least once for the best platonic cuddles (maybe minus Lae’zel until much later)

Has no idea what a shirt is, not really, but she prefers to go without when resting. Only somewhat understands modesty, everything for Dragonborn is extremely internal so she understands in concept, but not necessarily for herself

Does laundry for everyone, finds the repetitiveness to be meditative and is particular about strong smells, so doing it is a win-win. Patches up any holes she finds too.

Fascinated by hair, loves to style it and learned how to when a few war clerics taught her to. Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Gale all thought she was giving them *the look* but she just wanted to play with and style their hair.

I need to practice muscular bodies a bit, but she’s built like a seven-foot tall truck and hits like a train.

Can only see out of one eye, lost total use of her right one while training to join her order but the vision had been failing most of her life.

She was a secret fan of *The Blade of Frontiers* before meeting Wyll because she’d heard he also only had one functioning eye and was still able to be a champion of the people.

did not, however, realize she was older than him. She’s still a fan.

Spends at least one evenings each tenday polishing and caring for the party’s armor, after proving to Lae’zel she did an acceptable enough job to be entrusted hers as well.

Scarily fast, especially out of her armor. She was too slow, once, to save a cleric who’d trusted her to be their shield. She’d vowed to never be too slow again, and she always keeps her word.

Offers mercy and a second chance unless it’s been proven to her that a beaten enemy won’t do better; She follows Bahamut’s own words on the matter, no justice without mercy and no penance without forgiveness

Would probably be a theater kid

Spars with Lae’zel and Karlach on the regular in camp. I like the idea that Dragonborn can replace teeth but it’s not common knowledge yet, so it’s funny to picture:

Karlach knocking out a couple teeth and being extremely apologetic and starts looking for the teeth

Sehkmet’s just confused because she’s assumed her whole life everyone’s teeth regrow and is confused why Karlach’s dragging Shadowheart over with her old teeth asking if she can put them back.

Lae’zel is amused (Gith definitely would also be able to regrow teeth, selectively bred warrior race and all) and uses the moment for one of her lovely little Githyanki supremacy tangents.

Sehkmet is just standing there, staring at the horizon in concern, like ‘You all don’t regrow teeth?!’ and thinking about how many belated apologies she needs to make

Karlach is still holding bloody teeth

Lae’zel and Shadowheart are fighting (flirting) again

Astarion is over by the cookout bugging Gale and watching the show

Gale and Wyll are still thinking at least they’re normal

the Emperor is still imploring you to eat a tadpole.

[perfectsunlight]

[31] DO IT

warnings: emotional distress, family conflict, intense feelings of isolation and public scrutiny.

ivory had always been afraid of being forgotten. not by her fans or the world—but by the one person who mattered most. even as a child, she would wake up in the middle of the night, wandering to her mother’s room, needing reassurance that jennie was still there. sometimes, she’d stand quietly in the doorway, watching the steady rise and fall of her mother’s breathing, too scared to wake her but too terrified to return to bed without knowing she wasn’t alone.

it was a fear she never spoke of, one that existed in the spaces between phone calls, in the empty chairs at school performances and birthday dinners. as she grew older, ivory learned to bury that fear beneath layers of independence and a carefully constructed persona. she became untouchable, unbreakable. but deep down, the fear never really went away. it just evolved—into a gnawing ache, a quiet desperation that simmered beneath the surface.

no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, no matter how fiercely she told herself that she didn’t need anyone, especially not jennie—there was always that part of her, that small, terrified child, that craved her mother’s presence. it didn’t matter that the world saw jennie as an untouchable icon, a woman too busy for mundane things like school recitals and family dinners. to ivory, jennie wasn’t a superstar. she was her mother. the one person whose absence felt like a constant void in her life, no matter how full her schedule or how loud the applause was at the end of the day.

as a child, it was easier to forgive. ivory could accept the excuses—the concerts, the tours, the interviews. her friends’ parents worked, too. it was normal, she told herself. but as she grew older, the empty seats at her events became harder to overlook. the brief phone calls shorter. the excuses thinner. and yet, despite all of that, ivory couldn’t bring herself to truly resent jennie. 

she couldn’t. she wouldn’t.

but she was scared. scared that one day her mother's calls would stop altogether. scared that the distance between them would grow so wide, neither of them would be able to bridge it. and now, standing at the center of this storm, that fear felt closer than ever.

the headlines hadn’t stopped since paris.

who is jennie’s mystery daughter? did k-pop’s queen secretly have a child? blackpink’s jennie: a liar and a mother?

the press had latched onto the grainy photos and videos of their argument like vultures circling a fresh kill. ivory had seen the way they twisted the story, the wild speculation that spread like wildfire across social media. the world now knew jennie had a daughter. 

and they knew it was her. 

jane had spent years keeping her identity hidden, living under the radar while the world worshiped her mother. she had liked it that way. the anonymity, the freedom to exist without the suffocating weight of expectations that came with being jennie kim’s daughter. but now? that fragile shield had been shattered, and the world was closing in.

the calls had started soon after the story broke. jennie, frantic, trying to reach her—voicemail after voicemail, the panic in her voice barely contained. ivory had listened to each one with growing dread, her finger hovering over the play button as her heart raced in her chest.

“valentine, please. i need to know you’re safe.” “jane, please. please just let me know you’re alright.”

there had been so much desperation in her mother’s voice, the kind ivory wasn’t used to hearing from her mother. jennie was always composed, always in control. but now, she sounded as if she was unraveling at the seams. and ivory couldn’t take it. she couldn’t bear to hear her mother like that, not when she had caused this entire mess.

so she ignored the calls. all of them. 

when the familiar buzzing showed on her screen every few hours, it felt like an unwanted reminder of the chaos she had unleashed, a storm that tore through both of their lives. each vibration sent a sickening twist through her stomach, a reminder of the gravity of her actions.

after the confrontation in paris, ivory had fled the hybe building, overwhelmed and reeling. she didn’t want to face anyone—not the paparazzi waiting outside, not her mother, and certainly not herself. so she slipped away, taking a cab to a small, rundown hotel in the heart of seoul, far from the flashing lights and the stares that burned into her skin.

her managers knew where she was, and they had told her to lay low until they figured out what they were going to do. 

the hotel was shabby, with faded wallpaper and a flickering neon sign that buzzed incessantly, but it offered a strange kind of solace. she checked in under a fake name, wanting to escape the reality of who she was and what she had done. here, she could hide from the world, drown in her thoughts, and figure out how to untangle the mess she had created.

days passed in a blur of solitude. the room was small and dimly lit, with a single window that overlooked the busy street below. she could hear the sounds of the city—the chatter of voices, the honking of horns, the distant thrum of music. but within those four walls, it felt as if she were in a different universe, one where time stood still and the chaos outside faded into a dull hum.

ivory found herself staring at the walls, the phone silent for days. she had turned it off, the weight of it resting on the nightstand like a stone. the outside world felt like a distant echo, muted and blurry. she had done this to think, to find clarity amid the storm of emotions that threatened to engulf her. but instead of solace, she was confronted with a suffocating silence that pressed down on her, amplifying her thoughts until they roared in her mind.

every night, she would curl up in the thin hotel sheets, staring at the ceiling as tears soaked into the fabric. the headlines blared in her mind, the way the world painted her as a reckless daughter, a girl who had turned her back on her mother. each image she had seen of jennie—stoic yet clearly shattered—felt like a knife twisting deeper into her heart.

maybe she had gotten it wrong all along? maybe it wasn’t jennie who was a bad mother, but perhaps ivory was just a bad daughter?

the thought gnawed at her, burrowing into the cracks she’d tried so hard to seal with layers of resentment and self-protection. for so long, she had told herself that her mother’s absences were her choice, that they were symptoms of a life she’d constantly chosen over jane. but maybe she’d been too harsh, too quick to judge. maybe, instead of seeing her mother’s absence as abandonment, she should have seen it as a sacrifice—the kind of sacrifice jennie had made over and over again for a career that demanded so much of her.

she remembered the times her mother had tried, the small efforts that jane had always brushed aside. 

the hasty texts on long flights, the brief hugs at drop-offs. the late nights when the idol would tiptoe into her room just to check if she was sleeping, her gaze lingering as if she could somehow make up for all the time she’d missed. ivory had shrugged those moments off as mere gestures, believing them to be obligations jennie fulfilled out of duty, not love. but now, lying alone in the dim room, the reality of it hit her in waves. what if those gestures had been her mother’s way of holding on? what if, in those tiny efforts, her mom had been showing her all the love she knew how to give?

the guilt was like a weight pressing down on her chest, making it harder to breathe. ivory had been so focused on what jennie hadn’t done. she had zeroed in on the moments she’d missed, that she’d blinded herself to the ways her mother had tried. she felt stupid now, like a fool who’d misread the intentions of someone she’d thought she knew.

and here she was now, hiding away in a hotel room, and pushing away her mother like she had always done. perhaps it was the only thing ivory was good at?

the irony stung. for so long, she’d told herself she didn’t need anyone, that she could stand on her own. but now the feeling of jennie’s absence left her hollow. what she wouldn’t give to hear her mother’s voice, to feel her arms around her, reassuring her that no matter what, she was loved.

she just needed to know that even though the world hated her, jennie didn’t. but how could she face the woman who had done so much for her now? how could she call and ask for comfort from her own mistakes?

it was unbearable.

the silence was thick, suffocating, punctuated only by the soft, shuddering breaths she tried to keep at bay. her hair clung damply to the sides of her face, sticking where her tears had traced lines over her skin, and she made no effort to brush it away. she was too tired, too drained to fight it. the shame was a living, breathing thing, curling around her ribs and squeezing until she felt she might break. she wanted to call, needed to hear her mother’s voice if only to remind herself that she hadn’t lost her for good. 

but fear held her still, paralyzed by the thought of what jennie might say—what if this time, she’d gone too far?

her mother had built her image, brick by brick, a fortress against the world. for as long as she could remember, jennie had been untouchable—a figure of grace and strength who carried her fame with an elegance that shielded them both. she was not only a mother but a force, someone who had learned how to guard herself against scrutiny, judgment, and the eyes of millions. 

and in one single night, ivory had torn it down entirely.

the thought made her throat tighten. it wasn’t just her mother’s disappointment she feared; it was the possibility that she might have broken something between them beyond repair. she could almost feel the weight of her mother’s silent gaze, the look jennie gave when words failed her, a look jane had always dreaded. how many times had jennie shielded her from the world, made sacrifices so she could have a semblance of a normal life, always trying to balance her career with the quiet reality of motherhood? 

the young idol slowly shifted to grab her phone, finally powering it on for the first time in days.

with a trembling hand, ivory unlocked her phone, its glow casting an eerie light across the dim hotel room. notifications flooded the screen—missed calls from jennie, countless unread messages, and a storm of news alerts she didn’t have the strength to open. she ignored them all, her thumb hovering over the search bar instead. she hesitated, feeling the familiar ache in her chest that had kept her silent for days, and then she typed in her mother’s name.

the videos started playing softly, her mother’s familiar voice filling the empty room like a gentle balm. some were clips from concerts, where jennie laughed and shouted with the crowd, her voice confident and warm. others were softer interviews, where she answered questions thoughtfully, her tone composed and steady. ivory’s heart twisted as she listened, letting her mother’s voice settle over her like a blanket, the sounds wrapping around her loneliness and fear.

as the videos played, she closed her eyes, imagining that jennie was right there beside her, as if these recordings could somehow bridge the distance between them. she could almost hear her mother speaking directly to her, calming her fears, reassuring her like she used to when jane was little, waking from a nightmare.

she remembered the times jieun would have to do the same thing she was doing now. jane always had trouble sleeping whenever jennie was gone. whenever her mother was away—on tour, at a shoot, anywhere the demands of fame took her—ivory would find herself wide awake, the shadows in her room feeling bigger and darker without jennie’s reassuring presence. the quiet would fill her with a familiar fear, that gnawing ache that maybe one day jennie might not come back at all.

on those nights, ivory would wander down the hallway, blanket in hand, and find jieun still awake, often reading by a small, warm light. jieun always seemed to know what was coming. she’d reach out, patting the spot beside her without a word. “couldn’t sleep, huh?” she’d ask gently, her voice soft but steady. ivory would nod, curling up beside her grandmother as she reached for her phone.

they’d spend those late hours scrolling through videos of jennie, watching old interviews and clips from concerts. her grandmother would play each one as if it were a lullaby, knowing that jennie's familiar laugh and voice were the only things that could ease ivory’s fears. ivory would lean her head against her grandmother’s shoulder, letting her mother’s voice wash over her until her eyes grew heavy, lulled by the warmth of her grandmother and the comfort of hearing her favorite person’s voice, even if only through a screen.

now, alone in a cheap hotel room, ivory found herself reaching for that same comfort.

the hum of jennie’s voice blurred the line between reality and memory. as she drifted further into sleep, ivory could almost believe that her mother’s hand was stroking her hair, whispering that everything would be alright, that no matter what happened, they’d get through it together.

when morning came, ivory slowly pulled herself from the mattress and forced herself to get up and shower.

the water came down in torrents, cold and sharp against her skin, but ivory barely felt it. she stood there, shoulders slumped, the steam from the shower swirling around her in thick clouds. her hands gripped the edge of the glass shower door as her mind spiraled, the weight of the decision she knew she had to make crashing down on her like the cold water that refused to wash away her guilt.

she had to do it. she had to put out a statement—one that would sever the last thread of connection between her and jennie. the world had already begun to twist the narrative, speculating and spinning stories. it was only a matter of time before the pressure would reach its boiling point, and she knew if she didn’t act quickly, everything would unravel even further.

but even as she told herself this, a pit formed deep in her stomach. the words she’d have to say—the lies, the betrayal—they burned in her chest. she couldn’t stop imagining jennie’s face, her voice on the other end of the phone, pleading for ivory to come back, for her to let her in again.

she could almost hear jennie’s voice now, asking, "why? why are you doing this, jane?"

the weight of her mother’s potential reaction was almost too much to bear. but there was no other choice. she had to distance herself. it was the only way to protect jennie from the media storm, from the chaos that ivory had set in motion. 

if she was ever linked to her, it would only drag jennie further into the mess. and she couldn’t do that to her, not after her mother spent so many years in the crosshairs of the public.

but at the same time, she couldn’t ignore the wrenching pain twisting in her chest, the unrelenting ache of tearing herself away from the only person who had ever loved her unconditionally. it wasn’t just the public denial—it was the emptiness of choosing silence over connection, the silence that would stretch between them, forever.

her breath caught, and before she knew it, the tears started to fall.

she didn’t bother to wipe them away. the water mixed with her tears as they streamed down her face. each sob felt like a jagged stone pressing into her chest, each breath a sharp reminder of what she was about to do.

she stood there for what felt like hours, the water running cold against her skin, as the weight of the decision consumed her. she wasn’t ready. she wasn’t ready to break her own heart. but what else could she do?

it was the only way to protect her mother. it was the final act of love she could show—to shield her from the chaos, just like jennie had done for her for many years.

the young idol’s body wracked with silent sobs, her shoulders shaking with the force of them, as the cold water continued to cascade over her, doing nothing to numb the pain. the girl slid down the wall of the shower, curling into herself, her body trembling with exhaustion and sorrow. the sobs finally quieted, replaced by a dull, hollow ache. she stared blankly at the drain as the water swirled down it, as if it could wash away the decision she was just about to make. but it wouldn’t.

there was no undoing this.

but as she looked at herself in the foggy glass, the reflection staring back at her seemed like a stranger. her eyes were red and swollen, her hair clinging to her face, but it wasn’t the image that haunted her. it was the feeling—the deep, gnawing emptiness that settled in her chest.

she wasn’t ready to be this person. the one who had betrayed the woman who had given her everything. 

it felt like an eternity before ivory got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel, her body still trembling from the emotional storm that had passed through her. she stood for a moment, just staring at the floor, as if hoping for some sign, some sense of clarity, but nothing came. the room around her was still, and the weight of the world seemed to press down on her shoulders.

the idol opened her notes app, typing and deleting words over and over again. what could she say? or what should she say?

the sound of her fingers tapping against the screen felt deafening in the stillness of the room. each word she typed seemed hollow, inadequate—nothing could capture the depth of the turmoil swirling inside her. ivory’s thoughts were a mess, jumbled fragments of regret, guilt, and fear crashing against each other, leaving no space for the clarity she desperately needed.

finally, the girl decided on a few short, simple sentences. this would give them enough information for now. it would do its job, it would be a swift, clean cut.

with trembling hands, the idol opened instagram. all le sserafim members had access to the group’s social media. it seems that still rang true even in the midst of her controversy. do it. you coward, just post it. 

ivory screamed internally, the weight of the decision suffocating her as she paced frantically around the tiny hotel room. her feet moved almost instinctively, a frantic attempt to outrun the rising panic that clutched at her chest. she felt like she was suffocating, the air thick with the pressure of what she had to do, the knowledge of the damage she was about to cause, and the raw, burning shame that threatened to undo her.

she gripped the edges of the dresser, her knuckles white, and tried to steady herself. her breath came in short, uneven bursts, each inhale too shallow, too jagged. the sound of her heartbeat pounded in her ears, deafening and unrelenting.

the phone sat on the bed, waiting, but it felt like it belonged to someone else—someone stronger, someone more composed. not her. not the girl who had ruined everything, who had just irrevocably hurt the one person who had loved her unconditionally.

jane ran a shaky hand through her damp hair, the strands sticking to her face, her palms clammy with sweat. her mind screamed at her to just do it, to just press post and be done with it. but her body refused to listen, frozen in a state of panic, unable to make the final step.

she thought about grabbing a drink from the minibar, or a cigarette from the convenience store across the street. just something, anything, to numb the ache, to quiet the voice screaming inside her head. anything to give her the courage to end this.

instead, she found herself pacing again, faster this time, her feet slapping against the carpet floor as she raked her fingers through her wet hair. tears blurred her vision as she thought about the hell she was about to unleash.

she would never be able to fix this, to look in her mother’s face after what she’s going to do. how could she live with herself knowing she was the one to destroy whatever was left of their fragile relationship? that it was her delivering the final blow?

every step felt like a mile, every thought twisted into another dark, suffocating reality. jane grabbed the phone again, holding it in her trembling hands, but she couldn’t bring herself to unlock it. she squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to stop crying, but the tears wouldn’t listen. they streamed down her cheeks in hot, unrelenting trails, as if her body was rejecting the very decision she was trying to make.

the voice in her head, her inner critic, was louder now. you have to. and all she could do was cry harder, fall to her knees on the floor. she knelt hunched over the small device in her hands. ivory wiped her hot tears away, but they kept coming, the grief and shame bubbling to the surface, threatening to drown her.

“fucking do it,” she whispered hoarsely to herself, as though forcing herself to speak the words would somehow make it easier. but it didn’t. the room felt smaller, and the decision felt heavier. it felt like the entire world was pressing down on her, suffocating her, forcing her to face something she wasn’t ready for.

she was stuck. terrified. mortified.

the phone was still in her hand, and the post still wasn’t out. it felt like the silence of the room was mocking her. the minutes dragged on, stretching into eternity, until she collapsed onto the edge of the bed, holding her phone like a lifeline, but too scared to actually use it.

“i’m sorry, mom,” she whispered into the empty space, the words barely audible, as if apologizing to the void might make it somehow less real. “i’m so sorry.” the young girl swallowed thickly, her throat tight and raw, the weight of her words nearly suffocating her. she could feel the tightness in her chest as if it might collapse in on itself, her body trembling with the force of her guilt and regret. the silence of the room was deafening now, every breath she took louder than the last, like an unbearable countdown to a moment she knew she couldn’t escape.

but she had to. she had to do this.

the tears kept coming, streaming down her face with relentless force. she squeezed her eyes shut, her whole body shuddering with sobs that felt too deep, too jagged to put into words. it was as though her very soul was unraveling with each breath.

ivory tried to steady herself, but the weight of what she was about to do, what she already had to do, was suffocating. she couldn’t breathe. she couldn’t think. she couldn’t speak.

her hand shook as she clutched her phone, the cold screen and hotel walls staring back at her like a silent witness to her unraveling. she could hear her pulse hammering in her ears, each beat like a loud echo in the stillness of the room. the weight of the moment pressed down on her chest, so heavy it felt like she might drown beneath it. she swallowed again, her throat a dry, cracked thing, a raw, burning sensation creeping from her chest to her neck. the very air seemed thick with suffocating tension.

for a heartbeat, time stilled.

the phone felt like a foreign object in her hand, as if she no longer recognized the tool she was holding, the tool that would carve the irreversible. ivory’s fingers hovered over the screen, trembling with a fear that left her weak, her vision blurred by the constant stream of tears falling from her eyes. the words she had written earlier, so cold and detached, flashed in front of her like a cruel reminder of her betrayal. 

i’m sorry, mom. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.

“i’m sorry,” she audibly whispered again, a choked sob catching in her throat. the words tasted bitter, like they weren’t enough, like they could never be enough. her voice broke on the apology, and the sound of it made her stomach twist. the silence that followed it was even worse.

the room felt impossibly small now, as if the walls were closing in on her, boxing her in with her shame. she was suffocating, trapped between what she had done and the consequences of it that she could already feel closing in. the tears came faster, her chest tightening with each sob, each breath more frantic than the last.

with trembling hands, she scrolled down and found the post she had written. there it was—her confession, her betrayal, sitting on the screen, waiting to be sent out into the world.

it felt like an eternity before she could bring herself to press the button. each second stretched into infinity, like a thousand hands were holding her back, pulling her in different directions. she wanted to scream, to throw the phone away, to forget everything and run. but she knew she couldn’t. this was the only way.

with bated breath, ivory closed her eyes, feeling her heart race and her body tremble, and, with one final breath, she pressed post.

the screen flashed. her post was up. 

for a moment, there was nothing. the room was still, her heart beating in her chest like a drum, the silence deafening in its weight.

then, the floodgates opened. the weight of what she had done crashed down on her, each wave of grief so overwhelming it nearly knocked the breath from her lungs. she curled in on herself, sobbing uncontrollably, the phone slipping from her fingers, the screen glowing faintly in the corner of the room. 

from her position, she could see the influx of comments, each a nail in the coffin of the grave she had made. she had lied. she had denied her own mother in front of the entire world. but it was the only way. the only way to shield jennie from the relentless scrutiny, the only way to keep the world from devouring them both.

jane knew the headlines would only grow worse from here. the media would turn their attention to her, dissecting every part of her life, trying to uncover the truth. but she didn’t care. as long as they left her mother alone, as long as she didn’t have to endure the harsh spotlight again, ivory would take the heat. 

and she would do it alone. there was no going back.

all she could do was sit there, curled up on the floor of the hotel room, her heart breaking with every sob that tore through her.

she had posted it. she had betrayed her mother.

and now, nothing would ever be the same.

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CLOSED.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

In Defense of Nami and Robin (Off Anon for the pics)

So, yes, Oda's way of drawing women is...not great. But they are written beautifully, and to be fair, Toei (The anime) makes the design issue even worse than it is in the manga. (Also, the way in which they ugly cry is amazing, full snot, tears, wobbly lips, red face).

Nami and Robin are some of the best written, well rounded female characters I've seen. They have similar arcs, with tragic backstories that shaped how they see the world and affects their actions and relationships to others, and they have to learn to rely on others, and ask for help and put their trust in others. They are integral to the plot, Luffy will never be able to achieve his dream of being the Pirate King without them.

So first of all, Nami

Yes, this is probably the best picture of Nami's waist in the series, at least, post-time skip

Nami is the Navigator of the Strawhat Pirates, and an officer of the grand fleet. Unfortunately, the same face syndrome does start with her, a lot of the female characters will have her face. But design aesthetics aside, she is a wonder, complex, and dynamic character.

She was adopted by a marine women and raised on a tangerine farm with her older sister. They were poor, Nami always got her sister's hand-me-downs and their mom often skipped meals to make sure her girls had enough to eat. Nami, was an average 8 year old brat who did resent not having enough money to eat, or have clothes, or to buy navigation books like she wanted. But she was loved. So, of course, pirates attacked her village. They demanded a fine from each of the families in town based on adults and children in the household, and her mom was killed because she only had enough money for the girls. The same pirate, Arlong, made a deal with Nami, she could buy back her village for 100,000 belli, but in the meantime, she had to join his crew and work for him creating maps, where he preceded to work her until her fingers bled. She also became a thief and stole money from other pirates to add to the funds to buy her village back. This is where her catch phrase "I only love money and tangerines!" comes from. She intended to betray the Strawhats, but realized that they were the only people to ever show her love and kindness, and when Arlong betrayed her, she learned how to ask for help, to ease her burdens and rely on others when she needed it. Her scene where she was trying to cut her Arlong Pirate's tattoo off before asking Luffy for help remains one of the most profound moments in anime. While she was saved from Arlong, I wouldn't say she was necessarily a damsel in distress, she tried everything in her power, and part of her arc was accepting she didn't have to be alone. Luffy also never insisted on helping her because she was a weak girl or anything, he didn't care at all about her backstory, he just wanted to hurt whoever made her cry.

Apart of Nami's character is her love of money, desire to create maps and navigate the world, and how much she loves her friends/family and is willing to sacrifice for them, as well as the amount of forgiveness and kindness she is capable of and her love for children. She forgave one of the pirates that kept her as a slave, and when his friend, Camie, was almost sold into slavery, Nami didn't hesitate to spend all the money they had to buy her freedom. She discovered children were being experimented on by a crazy scientist and nearly went scorched earth.

When Nami came face to face with an enemy she couldn't beat, despite being a coward and thinking of herself as weak, she didn't back down because she refused to dismiss her captain. She showed incredible bravery and integrity, refusing to lie and break her ideals.

But she can also hold her own as well, she doesn't always lose or need to be rescued. She fights with a Clima-Tact, a weapon that allows her to summon lightning and use weather phenomena to her advantage. She beat Kalifa, a government assassin, Miss-Double-Finger, one of the strongest assassins in Baroque Works, Hotori and Kotori, and various other pirates. She also is particularly agile and has pretty high endurance. (Bonus points, in an anime filler arc, she is the first character with on-screen confirmed kill)

She also is a very skilled navigator, thief, liar, can predict weather phenomenon, maintains the crew's money and budget, a con artist, and cartography (including sea charts which are very difficult). She loves fashion, money, shopping, and is vain. She also somehow maintains her mom's tangerine trees while on a sailing ship.

The fandom widely considered her to be a lesbian, but of course that is only coding/head canons. But she has had very close relationships to other women in the series, including Vivi, and has expressed that she "has a soft spot for strong marine women."

Nico Robin

Her introduction to the series was strong, as she is one of the strongest members of the enemy faction Baroque Works. She was a serious threat, managing to infiltrate the Strawhat's ship and steal Luffy's hat and living to tell the tale, but she was also very mysterious and compelling. Despite being an enemy, she saved Luffy's life, and expressed amusement over his antics. When she tried to commit suicide in the tombs below Alabasta, after betraying her boss, Luffy saved her life, despite her protests. In return, she snuck back onto his ship and made herself his problem.

Like Nami, she has a tragic past that cause her profound trauma, sadness, a distrust in others, but ultimately, she found hope in the Strawhat pirates, and in Luffy, learning how to rely on them, and in return, being relied on. She can ask for help from them, but they ask for help from her as well.

When she was a child, her mother left to sail the seas and become an archaeologist. She was outcasted by her aunt, and her village, but she was accepted by the scholars who lived on her island. The island's name was Ohara. Against the other archaeologists wishes, she learned how to read the mysterious poneglyphs because she wanted to learn the true history of the world. Her first friend was a giant who washed up on the island and taught her how to laugh. But the World Government outlawed the language of the poneglyphs and learning about the true history. And so, they wiped her island clean off the map in an act called a Buster Call, and every single person but Robin was died. Desperate to capture her, they placed a 79,000,000 bounty on her head when she was only 8 years old, dubbed her a "devil child" and claimed she destroyed several marine battleships. For nearly 20 years she ran from organization to organization, only for all of them to betray her and try and turn her in.

While sailing with Luffy, it was the happiest she had ever been. Despite being an enemy just weeks earlier, they accepted her. Even when she was injured by another enemy, Zoro was pissed on her behalf. SO when the World Government finally caught up with her and blackmailed her into helping them while threatening to enact a Buster Call on the Strawhats (and an innocent island) she agreed to go along with them, even trying to sacrifice her own life so that the Strawhats can escape.

Of course, Luffy declared war on the Government and made Robin admit she didn't want to die, she wanted to live.

Robin is smart, capable, caring, funny, and strong. She just wants to learn history and have a family, and she suffered for years before she was finally able to be free enough to do so. She is a strong fighter because she had to be, and she is completely willing to became a monster and protect her friends. She hasn't been in many fights, but she won all of the ones she was in. She wasn't fooled by mind games and magic of enemies in Wano, and kept a calm and collected head. She is a skilled historian, archaeologist, osteologists, assassin, espionage, linguistics, and was a popular geisha. For most of the series she held the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th, highest bounties in the crew. When an enemy threatened the crew, a different enemy pointed out that, (at least, With Luffy not there) Zoro and Robin were labeled as the strongest and most threatening members of the crew, capable of killing an enemy before the rest of the crew were even aware of the threat. Oh, and she has a demon form.

Other Female Characters: Kiku/O-Kiku/Kikunojo of the Fallen Snow

A canonical transgender women who is also a samurai. She is completely accepted for who she is by everyone in the story, and is another strong and capable female character. She is shy and tries to keep a low profile (despite being 8 feet tall), but is more than willing to defend the weak and win back her home island.

The original ask mentioned healers, and there isn't a whole lot of female doctors/healers in One Piece but there is Dr. Kureha. Kureha is the oldest human character, wears crop tops in winter, and will beat Luffy with a rubber chicken and an axe for calling her old. She taught Chopper everything he knows. She is crotchety and stingy, but an amazing doctor and a professional.

Boa Hancock:

Yes she is the most beautiful woman in the world, and yes, her design leaves some to be desired. But she is also a rape victim and a former slave, she hates men, and runs an empire of female pirates. She shows kindness to Luffy once he establishes he holds no sexual desire for her and wanted so save the lives of people he just met.

Other Notable Female Designs

The first mermaid we meet is Kokoro:

Dadan is Luffy's adopted mom who raised 3 feral boys and is the leader of a band of mountain bandits:

Big Mom is one of the strongest female pirates in the series and has dozens of children:

Vice Admiral Tsuru is one of the strongest female marines:

Boa Sandersonia and Marigold, Hancock's sister with the same backstory :

Lola, one of Nami's friends:

Other Gender Stuff:

Ivankov and Inazuma who are genderfluid, and Ivankov is the Queen of an island of queer people

Bonclay who is genderqueer, refered to as both male and female

And Morley who is also transfem

Despite the character designs, One Piece has some of the best written female characters, even if at first glance they may seem like stereotypical shonen women, they hold much more complexity to them. They aren't all damsels in distress, but their strength goes beyond just being able to kick ass. They are kind and compassionate, and they kindness are rarely seen as a weakness. They are smart and experts in their fields of study, which is wide and varied, from history, cartography, science, and medicine. There are several female rulers of their countries, including Hancock, Vivi, and Big Mom. There is a variety of body types and faces, even if they are lacking in compared to male characters. All of their backstories are unique, fleshed out, and has an impact on their characters and their character arcs.

Did I spend two hours typing a 2000+ word essay on women and started to lose steam? Yes. Am I passionate about female characters in One Piece? Also yes. Can you tell I'm very gay for these characters? Probably. Am I sorry to the mod/followers for the long post? Eh, y'all asked for this lmao. Did I catch all the spelling mistakes in my frantically written essay. Maybe

For context, they are responding to this post about Nami and Robin

I don't have anything else to add other than great work

[thequietkid-moonie]

Hi, so for the prompt request, can I please have romantic yandere Tennant and Tooth Fary (Reverse 1999) x autistic reader headcanon (seperate).

Autistic!darling

[ YANDERE HEADCANONS ] [ Tennant, Tooth Fairy ]

[ Reverse 1999 ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just write it for entretaiment

I am so so soooo sorry that i made you wait so much for an answer 🥺🥺 forgive me!!! I just needed to picture well Tennant and Tooth Fairy, I never thought it would take me THIS LONG!! 🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻🙇🏻

Even so, I absolutely loved writing this! I hope is worthy the wait!

Ada Tennant

Tennant lives her life by seducing and scamming and yet for her all that she does is not that bad, seducing and charming for her is an art and everything in return is to show appreciation for her mesmerizing performance and, at first, you were just her next target

Just by looking at you Tennant was already enchanted by your beauty, leading her to immediatly wanting to take you as her new muse for this new performance, however she was faced with a surprise, you weren't like anyone else, it didn't take her more than the first interaction to realice that you were diferent but also to take a step back, no matter how charming she was you weren't not only not falling for her but you also were definetly uncomfortable by her precence, this hits a little in her pride but also picked her interest, leading her to being unable to stop thinking about you and stalking you to find out what made you so diferent

Just like before it take her little time to realice that you were autistic, something she found rather interesting, between her pride and the interest Tennant spend her whole time stalking you and learning everything she could about you, wanting to know how to approach to you and do a perfect performance for you, not even she can explain why she insist so much on you but she didn't question it neither, her obssesive love grew in the shadows, hidden from her but at the same time it was completely accepted

It wasn't until Tennant knew everything she could about you and how the autism affects you that she tried to approach you again, making clear her intentions to charm you and seduce you but also learning in the process, being surprisingly respectful of your bounduries and doing everything to flirt with you without accidentally making you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed

In all honestly Tennant never realiced what was happening, she never thought much about it when she started to use her power to create the most beautiful and perfectly shaped diamons that would be appealing to your eyes, or how she found herself actually doing promises instead of just repeating the lovely words she knew so well, how she found herself craving for your company, for your precence, for your aproval or how she found herself wanting to protect you from this world that is not build for your comfort, how she wanted to cover your eyes when you look at something that makes you uncomfortable or cover your ears whenever the sounds seems to try to penetrate your ears

She was so lost in how interesting you were that never realiced how much she was falling into her own game, how even when you were suppoused to be just another muse she found herself enchanted and addicted to the beauty of you, how she was now completely mesmerized and unable to finish this performance because she know that when it was over it was time to part ways, how now she longs to take you with her, to build a place where you could be comfortable and safe, where you will never be able to leave

Tennant's obsesive love grows in the shadows, grows freely because she never care enough to take it seriously but it grew to become a well masked dependance, Tennant is convinced that all she wants is because she is the artist and you the muse, she always does perfect performances but now the only thought of leaving you, of having to choose another muse makes her feels empty and lost

Tooth Fairy

Tooth Fairy is well know in the fundation thanks to all the help she offers as the doctor of the fundation, her calm demanour and her unique way to help it has make her quite famous, so there is no doubt that two would meet

In all honestly after meeting you it didn't take too long for Tooth Fairy to notice that you weren't exactly like everyone else, between how observanty, but mainly for how caring she is it didn't took her long to notice the small hints of your autism, even if you try to keep it at minimun or are too discrete she still can notice it and imediatly offers help, she didn't say it directly since she doesn't want to underestimate you nor cross your bounduries but she leave clear that she is here to help, if you ever need help with something even if it isn't about physical discomfort she will be here for you if you need it

It takes some time for Tooth Fairy to develop any feeling for you aside from the wish to help, but you two slowly grow closer to each other after you accepted her offer, slowly opening up to her and letting her see every shade of your autism, letting her see how it affects you (in the good and in the bad side), slowly Tooth Fairy grows to feel closer and closer to you

Tooth Fairy's feelings won't turn into something more darker until she understand that you trust her with yourself, that you trust her even in the times when you can't handle the outside world, Tooth Fairy's feelings were growing slowly, she was slowly feeling incredibly comfortable and happy with your precense, growing to like having you around, to like your precense far from just her naturally caring nature, but it is thanks to the fact that you trust her more than others, that you trust her even in your worst is when Tooth Fairy's feelings were triggered

She can't imagine how you must feel when you feel like when you can't handle the rest of the world, when they speak in a not so clear way, when they make you feel confused and overwhelmed, she can see in your body language, in the answers of your body that you aren't alright, but the fact that you are letting her see you when you are this hurt and vulnerable is what lead her to feel like she needs to take care of you, like she needs to protect you because you put that much trust in her

So she did, Tooth Fairy grows to love you and care for you so much that she end up growing clinging to your side but discreetly, becoming your safe space, somewhere you can be yourself without being judged, without being looked as some kind of weirdo and without being stopped, you can express yourself and seak the comfort you want of whatever you want because Tooth Fairy will not stop you, she is here to take care of you, to protect you and love you just the way you are

Tooth Fairy grows to be incredibly protective of you, she end up having a mental images of you full of beauty and inocence, she doesn't understimate you nor think less of you for your autism but never forget that this is a disability, that this affects you day by day, and that is what lead her to be overprotective, she wants to help you not suffer for just being alive, just for existing

Tooth Fairy is not possesive nor jealous, she firmly believes that you know she is your comfort zone and safe space, that you will always come back to her and she will be waiting for you with a smile and opened arms so she has nothing to worry about, still she somehow always know where are you and what are you doing, always watches over you with the excuse of wanting to be there for you if you need her help for anything

[cute-firelight]

Wow! I am impressed to see how much the Caitlyn discourse is still burning in Tumblr, X and most of the arcane platforms.

I kinda just want to say that what makes me frustrated is that nowadays characters cannot fail or be gray anymore, not even redeem. People need to be able to label good/bad/antagonist and for a lot of people the redemption will never be enough.

Good intended people can do bad things, and for me this was Caitlyn in Arcane.

Some people that argue that what she did with the gas wasn’t as wrong as other things she could do have a point, but still, the gas thing was still pretty bad thing in my opinion. As a method to subdue the chems.

However, there is nuance in that decision. Seeing how she undo what her mother achieved to revenge her and to avoid a war that was going to be way worse than that, was a pretty ironic and tough decision at the same time. So at the end, what I want to say is that you can understand her thought process here even if you agree or not.

In her mind some things were combined: justify a bad deed to prevent a worse fate, and at the same time, use that to look for revenge. What was the decision that weighted more on her? We don’t know.

Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason?

Is it bad that I making friends with my demons

Living by a couple deadly sins

Just to make sure I finish what you began

These are the questions raised by this lines in the song.

I feel that people misunderstood soo much Caitlyn and Jynx conversation, and that conversation is hugely important to understand all of this.

Deep down Caitlyn hated herself and she felt responsible for creating the war.

At the end, she recognizes to Jynx that their shortcomings and failures caused everything and that both of them can’t do nothing to undo each of their crimes. But, they can learn and improve from now on and to do that they need to let everything go.

People justify Jynx more because she suffered more being an oppressed person. But please; she had an agency. All characters in Arcane have agency and are a product of their upbringings, and of course, Jynx upbringings and trauma is devastating and worse but guys, this is true irl too!

You will be charged for your crimes equally, no matter who you are and no matter if your trauma is worse than the guy in the cell next to you; and is also true that if you are a privileged person probably nobody will ask accountability from you, or you can buy your way out of jail. Piltover is not painted in the show as a perfect society and I hope you grasp that.

Arcane’s narrative centers more on the consequences, not much in the accountability of each character and consequences never forgive anyone. No matter how privileged or not you are, your actions will or can have consequences and you’ll have to live with the weight of them.

Arcane focus is not to align with a side, is more to show both contrasts and to create a nuanced story about each of the characters, their motivations, failures and struggles. Once you realize this Arcane becomes a good experience, trust me.

Making Caitlyn a flawless person wouldn’t make for a dramatic scale social class conflict and I am so glad that Arcane creators didn’t feared to do this. It would be boooring, it wouldn’t show how in real life this happens all the time. Caitlyn wasn’t prepared to do that role and wasn’t in a mental condition to do it but felt forced to. Because of her dad, because of how everyone else was behaving towards it, because in her eyes SHE caused it, and oh boy, since she had that much power and was so misguided she influenced everything for the worse…

We should center more in what Arcane has to say with Caitlyn and less in if she is good or bad. For me, she is a naive person for her upbringing that got caught up in something she wasn’t prepared for, and ended doing a lot of mistakes that caused a huge amount of damage that she regretted deeply but couldn’t undo.

[a-spes]

So.. I have seen an edit about Captain Anderson & Chen, from the Rookie, and maybe I was the only one to ship them, but I really like (love) the dynamic the both of them have 🙃

And so, I can't stop thinking about Maria Hill having a similar bond with Reader when they are both working as S.H.I.E.L.D.'s agents. So hope you will enjoy the Maria Hill content you get today 🙆

She is the training officer than no one wants to be assigned to.

She may be the commander, the one you need to impress if you want to be given good opportunities in the job, but she is also the one who could easily make your first day as an agent the last — and it is something she would be happy to do.

They are a lot of rumors about the woman. They are glorious, but they scare the students. She has achieved a lot of great things in her carrer, but it doesn't come without a price ; this job became her whole life. Commander Hill has nothing to loose, she has no one to come home to, and she expects every agent to act the same way, to at least pretend they are in the same situation — "because if you don't, if you are too scared of dying to do your job properly, then it will become a reality. You fail, you loose everything," she had said the first day.

She is strict. She never forgives, nor forgets, when a mistake is made. She has no time to waste, and only trains the best rookies. So it is no surprised that she was assigned to this guy from your promotion. He is first in every class, he is strong, confident,.. in other words, he is the perfect trainee.

At least, he used to be, before he decided to quit S.H.I.E.L.D., only a few weeks after he has started his training by her side. So when time came for the woman to choose a new trainee, and when she pointed at you, making you her new one, you were shaking with fear — because she just sealed your fate.

The first weeks were hard, the woman didn't seem to warm up to your presence despite the time that has passed. She barely talks to you and, when she does, it is only to give cold orders or to reprimand your way of doing things. It feels like you are playing a game you can't win because she refuses to explain the rules to you, and she keeps changing them.

You are trying your best to meet her expectations, but you are only messing everything up. She sees everything you say, or do, as a failure. You haven't heard a single compliment falling from her lips the past few weeks, and it is slowly gnawing at your from the inside.

The worse is probably when she doesn't say anything. In those moments, when she looks at you with a stern glance, and an expression you can't read because she is like a closed book. Those moments when she leaves you alone with your thoughts, and you can only imagine what you have done wrong this time. It keeps you awake at nights.

She does it for your own good, that is what she repeats to herself when she eventually comes to a point when she starts to question her methods. She is strict, and demanding, and that is exaclty what you need because that is what will keep you alive on the field. The world doesn't give second chances.

If you decide to quit, it is that you weren't made for the job. Yet, you are still here, and she has to admit that she is quite surprised because you haven't even snapped at her — something most of the recruits would have done by now. Except you are slighly different. She has never seen someone so eager to obey orders. Someone who is able to put their egos aside, and accept that they have to learn everything again because the real life is nothing alike the academy.

Maybe, for once, she has to admit that her trainee holds the potential to make a great agent one day — yet, it is not something she would tell you directly.

(more is coming)

[ashdragon22]

Vi's Stomach Injuries Analysis

First, here are Vi's abdomen injuries and the side of the body she obtained them, listed in chronological order:

Right - stabbed by Sevika (healed completely by Shimmer)

Left - hit by Caitlyn (more emotional pain than physical)

Left - slashed while fighting (will likely scar)

Right - punched by Jinx (again, emotional pain rather than physical)

One thing I also want to clear up is that neither Cait nor Jinx hit Vi in a place in which she was actively/previously injured! I've seen a lot stated otherwise, mainly with Cait's hit.

With that said, here are the two big takeaways:

Jinx is the driver/motivating factor of ALL 4 injuries

Caitlyn heals Vi of ALL 4 injuries

Vi receives all of these related to protecting Jinx - stab by Sevika (wanting more info as to where Jinx is), the hit by Cait (not wanting Cait to shoot her), slash on her left side (protecting her in battle), and of course the punch from Jinx herself (freeing her from the jail cell). (Also before you blow up at me, I know Cait was the cause of one of these. But YES she does apologize/ask for forgiveness).

I take this as all 4 are reminders that Vi's heart is focused solely on protecting her sister, while Cait is the one who helps her realize that Jinx doesn't need or want help. That Jinx is no longer Powder like Vi wishes.

If we want to go a step further and be super symbolic with the injuries, we can associate her right side with Jinx and her left side with Cait, since these are the sides corresponding to them hitting her.

Vi, we can assume, only has a scar on her left side whereas her right side was completely healed by Shimmer. Since the right side (Jinx's side) is scar-free, this could be interpreted as Vi finally being able to let her sister go. (I understand her right side was healed prior to Jinx hitting her there, but the point still stands - Jinx didn't leave a lasting mark).

Her left side however, is likely scarred - a reminder that Cait hurt her, but also healed her there. She needs to keep living to be with and protect Cait. It's a reminder that Cait is real and here with her now - that Cait chooses Vi.

Scars hold a lot of meaning in the show - Silco's face scars, Cait missing an eye, Vi's minor face scars, etc. all explain their past and/or wrap up their character arcs. This new scar that Vi will have on her left side shows that while it's okay to have a big heart and to love freely, there are times when you need to know when to stop pursuing. Naturally, it's a good thing Vi stopped Cait from shooting Jinx for obvious reasons, but the scar also serves a dual purpose - whenever Cait sees it, she's reminded of her own inclination to violence and revenge, and helps her realize that she too, needs to let the past go and learn to forgive.

In summary, Vi's new scar will serve as a reminder to both Vi and Cait to forgive, and the absence of could-have-been scars helps Vi to move on.