#Source: Corner Gas

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Alexei: Hey, has anyone seen Yelena? [Gestures hand four feet off the ground] About this tall? Sarcastic?

[incorrectteyvatism]

Tighnari [walking outside]: Get the F out my yard!

Cyno: [running away with a giant letter F]

[thebearincorrectquotes]

Carmy: Do we carry cheese?

Richie: Yeah, it’s in the dairy cooler

Carmy: What kinds do we have?

Richie: We got all five.

Carmy: Five? There's more than five kinds of cheese. There are hundreds.

Richie: [Chuckles] Hundreds. [Carm gives him an unamused look] There are five. Cheddar, Swiss, Mozza, Parmesan, and Whiz.

Carmy: [Raises brow] Whiz?

Richie: Cheese Whiz. Where are you from?

Carmy: That's not a type, that's a brand.

Richie: Kraft is the brand, Whiz is the type.

Carmy: Whiz is the brand, Kraft is the company, spreadable is the type.

Richie: Kraft is the maker, Whiz is the cheese, and spreadable is just an added benefit.

Carmy: You don't know a lot about cheese, do you?

Richie: ...

Richie: I know it was kept in a cooler.

[acewithobsessions]

Artemis: have you seen Holly? *holds out his hand three feet off the ground* about this tall, sarcastic?

[incorrect-aio-quotes]

Bart: Hey I've got an idea for improving the town.

Bernard: You're moving?

[incorrectprodigalsonquotes]

Malcolm: [Drunk, staring at two statues] Gil! Gil! Don't leave me alone with the leprechaun! I think he and the monkey are planning something!

Gil: [To Dani] I've never seen him like this.

Dani: I have. But there's a bit of cocaine involved.

[incorrect-losers]

Mike: Fear is natural. It's what makes us human. It's what separates us from the animals

Bill: That, and opposable thumbs. And pants

Richie: Rollerblading

Bill: Any kind of bipedal locomotion

Ben: We can make fire. Animals can't make fire

Richie: Well, if you don't count dragons

Bill: Actually, there's a lot that separates us from animals

Bev: You had me at pants

[borbi-edits]

Portia: (has pinkeye) it's not so bad. They doctor gave me these drops that are supposed to clear it right up. (squirts some eyedrops into her orange juice). Tastes awful, though. Delancy: Uh... I think that's supposed to go in your eyes. Portia: (scoffs) I'm not putting orange juice in my eyes, Delancy.

[shit-the-vampyr-cast-never-said]

Edgar: Trust me, I'm a professional.

Elisabeth: Usher's paying you to do this?

Edgar: All right, I'm an enthusiast.

[wish-incorrect-quotes]

Simon: Do you think there's such a thing as caffeine gum?

Dahlia: I could let you chew on a used coffee filter.

Simon: You say that, but I know you won't.

Dahlia: Do you want some decaf?

Simon: Decaf? The “caf” is what I need. The “caf” is the whole point of this. I’m not just jonesing for some hot brown liquid, with or without the “caf”. I need the “caf”.

Dahlia: *sets a glass of milk in front of him* You need therapy.

Simon: That's not “caf”. It’s for a calf.

[incorrectcultofthelambquotes]

Lamb: Get the F out my cult!

Follower: [Running away carrying a giant letter F]

[incorrectlooneytunesquotes]

Daffy: Ungrateful ungrates! Bugs: Ingrates. I think that's ingrates. Daffy: Ingrateful ingrates!

[incorrectteyvatism]

Jean: Fear is natural. It's what makes us human. It's what separates us from animals. Kaeya: That, and opposable thumbs. And pants. Lisa: Rollerblading. Albedo: Any kind of bipedal locomotion. Amber: We can make fire. Mika: Yeah, animals can't make fire. Sucrose: Well, if you don't count dragons. Eula: Actually, there's a lot that separates us from animals. Jean: You had me at pants.

[thebearincorrectquotes]

[When Carmy finally realizes he needs to make amends with Syd]

Carmy: Okay, I can explain.

Sydney: Well, that would be good, because my confusion and my rage are standing by.

[incorrect-anything-quotes]

Fender: I think I worked out a plan.

Crank: All right, count me out.

Fender: You haven't even heard it yet.

Crank: See how I've learned?

[incorrectprodigalsonquotes]

WAIT! HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS!?

Based on this post!