#Step Back Trax

[pullhisteeth]

worry lines | eddie munson

requested here -`♡´- your ex turns up and Eddie gets jealous. idiots in love! 4.7k

cw !!! for a borderline abusive (ex-)boyfriend. 18+ please and thank you x

contains hurt/comfort, fluff, jealous!Eddie, fem!reader, conflict, shitty ex-boyfriend. everyone’s in their early 20s

-

He was cruel, Eddie knows that much. Cruel enough that it took weeks and lots of gentle handling to coax it out of you. 

You were a shell of yourself until you weren’t. Eddie doesn’t know the details, because who would he be to make you relive it if you didn’t want to? But he knows enough to sear a tar-black scorch mark in his gut, a branding, a fury reserved only for him.

And he’s perhaps a little oblivious to it, but Eddie’s patience never went unnoticed by you. The two of you might be like parallel lines - apparently doomed to just miss one another forever - but you’re still filled to the brim with giddy love for him. The fact he stuck around through it all only adds fuel to the fire. Something unruly burns behind your eyes every time you think about him.

“What about this one?”

You hold up a record and show him the front while you peer at the back. Eddie looks up from the stack he’s been flipping through for the past three minutes.

“Garbage,” he mutters, eyes back on his busy fingers. 

“What?!” you exclaim, mouth wide and attempting to hide a grin. You’re fighting him for fun, really; you’re already putting the record back where you found it. “It came out, like, a month ago! How’ve you heard it already?” 

“Gareth’s mom got it for him for his birthday,” he tells you without looking at you, side stepping only slightly to move onto the next box of albums. He’s close enough now that you could lean over and bump his shoulder with your own. You don’t.

You sigh, though it’s bright with amusement. You go back to your own shelf, eyeing up the scarce new releases stock that Trax only manages to update every few months.

“No shit,” you whisper, grabbing with greedy hands at the record you’ve spotted. You catch Eddie’s attention, his own hands stopping as he looks over. “I’ve been looking for this everywhere!”

He smiles, not because he likes the album - it’s The Cure, and they’re far too British, even for him - but because he likes your smile. Sometimes you make a face, with your mouth twisted to the right, because you’re holding it back. You told him once that you don’t like your smile very much, that it’s too wide, too toothy. He couldn’t disagree more, and when he catches you in these moments, the ones just before you realise you’re grinning and close your mouth, he cherishes it.

“You want it?” he asks, tone nothing but genuine.

“Fuck off, Eds,” you say anyway, still smiling. He’s lapping it up. “I can buy it myself now, don’t need your filthy drug money.”

He elbows you softly with an expression of faux offence. “Hey, y’didn’t mind my filthy money all those times it got you food at Benny’s.”

This makes you giggle, and Eddie is on cloud nine.

You tear your eyes away from the cover to meet his and he damn near keels over; it’s like a mallet on his temple, a slap across the cheek. He could look at your eyes forever and it’d never not hurt.

“Can I buy you one?” you ask him, adding “please?” when he gives you a look like he’s about to tell you no.

“Absolutely not,” he says, still grinning.

“But you’ve bought me so many!” You’re closer now, toe to toe with him, beaming back at him and gripping the record between clenched fingers. “I make my own money now. Consider it me payin’ you back, or at least starting to.”

“You don’t have to pay me back,” he mutters, “I like buyin’ you records. At least it meant you listened to somethin’ other than this shit.” He bumps the bottom of the cardboard sleeve with his fist.

“Hey,” you bite, pulling it out of his reach. “I like The Cure.”

“I know y’do, that’s the problem.”

You look at him for a beat, one so brief he only just gets a chance to take in your pensive face - adorable - before you scrunch your eyes and stick your tongue out at him.

“Suit yourself,” you say, turning on your heels and marching down the aisle, heading for the cash register.

He watches you cross the store, the way your walk shifts from comical to confident. This walk is familiar to him; it’s your I’m-nervous-because-I’m-in-public walk.

His eyes are still on you when you take your change from the girl behind the desk. He watches you pocket it, and catches your self-satisfied smile as you turn. And then he watches as it falters, and your face drains of colour, and he feels himself walking over to you before he has time to think about it.

You’re looking at the door, where the bell’s just chimed, and the bottom of your stomach’s fallen away. Heart in your throat, you stare blankly at the man who just walked in.

“Oh, hey,” he says, though he may as well be on the other side of the glass for the way he sounds so distant. He shakes snow off his hair and you feel the ghost of it between your fingers. “Fancy seein’ you here.”

You feel Eddie before you can muster up a response. He stands behind you, just close enough that, if you wanted to, you could reach behind and take his hand.

“Hey,” he says lowly, just by your ear, words for you alone. “Who’s this?”

There’s something simmering in his voice, something defensive. He knows.

“Uh, hi,” you squeak, fingers clutching the plastic bag you’re holding to keep them from shaking. “Hi- uh, Eds, this is, uh-”

“Tom,” the man says, sticking a gloved hand out to Eddie. You feel him shift slowly behind you; his eyes move between the back of your head and the man in front of you a few times before he returns the gesture.

He’s handsome, Eddie thinks. Better looking than he is, anyway. Cleaner, softer; none of the hard edges Eddie harbours that he doesn’t know you think are soft as anything.

“We used to go out,” you say quickly, before Tom tries to explain it himself and makes you feel smaller than you already do. You hope Eddie gets the hint.

He does. The burning in his gut flares and his hands clench into fists without him meaning them to.

“Eddie,” he states, sharp and blunt.

“We were just, uh- We’re headed out,” you say, and the way you’ve come over all nervous and quiet is almost enough to make Eddie’s heart split right down the middle. He hovers a hand over the small of your back and steps around you, around Tom, until you follow him.

“Well, see you around,” he says as the bell chimes again and Eddie damn near pulls you out into the snow.

The cold, damp flakes that land on your flushed cheeks are a sweet relief. So are Eddie’s hands, which wrap around yours to take the bag from you. He doesn’t miss how they shake.

“Fuck,” you breathe. The air escapes your lungs and doesn’t return for a second, long enough that you have to think to inhale. Eddie looks you over, desperate to pat you, fawn over you, kiss the snowflake off the bridge of your nose.

He opts for something safer. “You alright?”

The busy Indianapolis sidewalk doesn’t allow for too much fussing, and you’re quietly grateful for the bustling Saturday afternoon crowd pushing the two of you along and away from Trax.

“Yeah, yeah,” you say, breathless again, trudging through stomped-over snow. “Just took me by surprise.”

“Yeah, no shit. When’d you last see him?”

“When I picked up my stuff from his place.”

“Shit.”

You walk aimlessly around the corner, until Eddie begins to lead the way. Wordlessly you follow him for six blocks, and think to yourself that maybe he’s getting you as far away as he can.

He knows a coffee place, apparently, one so much better than any of the ones around Trax that you know are just as good. He ushers you into the warmth and buys three pastries - one each and one to share - and you eat until you’re not thinking about Tom anymore.

-

Robin sidles into the booth beside you, the familiar shape of her slotting into your side without care. She nudges her hip into yours, a wordless signal for you to move around and make more space.

The six of you squeeze around the tiny table as Eddie and Steve place drinks down across it. Pints of beer, far too big glasses of wine and six sickly coloured shots decorate it and all of a sudden you’re counting to five and banging a tiny glass on the varnished wood.

It tastes of sour apple and coats your lips with a shiny, sugary lacquer. Eddie sits opposite you harbouring a fiery urge to lean over and kiss you clean.

You grin at him, missing the flicker of affection in his tipsy eyes, and lean into Robin, who takes a swig from one of the pint glasses.

“Rob!” Steve shouts, reaching over and grasping at the glass. “You asshole, that’s mine-”

“What’s yours is mine, dingus,” she slurs, her dopey smile met not by something frosty but by Steve’s own grin. The tenderness inside your stomach is just as sickly as the shot; you’re drunk on sugary liquor and an unbridled love for your friends.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The bickering stops as Eddie raises his glass from the table.

“A toast,” he says, “to the newly-weds.”

You grasp your own pint and raise it too, along with everyone else, as Nancy and Jonathan beam back at you. They’re the picture of happiness, her rosy cheeks blooming from joy and champagne, his smile so wide you’re scared he might split in two. Nancy’s so pretty in a simple, short dress, Mrs Wheeler’s pearls around her neck, and Jonathan looks so smart in his suit, fresh from the dry cleaners courtesy of Joyce. A long day of family celebrations ends here, in this bar on the east end of Indianapolis, four walls that have seen the six of you grow up and into yourselves.

Nancy and Jonathan thank everybody, and Steve disappears without a single one of you noticing, reappearing with a new round of shots. Robin takes your hand in hers and squeezes, which tells you that she’s putting off crying. You’ve already covered the shoulder of her new shirt in tears. Happy tears.

If some benevolent force happened to be looking down and caught a glimpse of your happy little table, they’d find that your mind and Eddie’s look very much alike right now. Dizzy daydreams of a future neither of you are confident in, that neither of you think the other would ever even dare to consider.

The distant call of your name pulls you up off Robin’s shoulder. You hear it again, and the voice it’s called in sends your blood running cold. Regardless it beckons you and you turn to look, seeing him approaching like a fucking stalking lion.

“Oh,” you breathe, “hi.”

His unwelcome hands spread over the back of the booth, his fingers brushing the back of your neck. You bristle.

He grins down at you and then looks up and around at everybody else. “Hey, guys. I guess these are your friends?”

All you can do is look up at him. Eddie can see you recoiling and his stomach churns.

“Oh, hi again,” Tom says, spotting Eddie. This is your nightmare situation, frankly, and you’re afraid of where Tom might take it.

“Hey, man,” Steve says. His words are lopsided because he’s three pints and four shots in and too giddy to recognise this for what it is.

“Steve, right?” Tom asks. His knuckles whiten as he grips harder.

“Mm-hm,” Steve hums, leaning just enough to the left that Eddie has to push him upright. In the brief moment he’s preoccupied with his untrustworthy friend, he doesn’t see the way Tom dips his head to meet yours, or the attempt at a kiss on the cheek that you dodge, or even the quick words whispered in your ear. He does see you flush, your face, already warmed by wine, becoming even brighter. Before he can ask what’s happening, Robin’s scooting out to let you stand, and Tom’s hand’s on your waist and you’re off to the bar together.

Nancy shifts uncomfortably beside Jonathan, her hands on the table. “Is that…”

“Yeah,” Eddie says.

“Fuck,” Jonathan breathes.

“No way,” Robin barks, almost loud enough for Eddie to chastise her; you’re only twenty feet away.

Despite the stretch of time separating this moment from your last one with him, Tom’s hands haven’t become any less curious. They paw at you, never settling but instead trying each possessive spot he loved to frequent before you left him. Your waist was his favourite, but you’ve felt the unwelcome impression of his palm on each arm, your shoulder, the small of your back, and when he goes for your hip you twist just enough that he’s forced to drop it.

He’s telling you about his promotion. When you left, he’d been clamouring for it, doing everything he’d once confessed to hating: sucking up to his boss, shmoozing, working late. It pays well, apparently; well enough that he’s got his own place. It’s a five minute cab ride away. Want to come see it?

“Why would I want to do that?” you ask him, emboldened by the fiery rage his wandering hands are reigniting within you.

“Oh, c’mon,” he says, cooing your name with a sincerity so false that you taste the saccharine flavour of it on your gums, “you’re not telling me you haven’t missed me, huh?”

“No,” you tell him honestly, “I haven’t.”

“What, you with that metalhead or something?”

“Eddie is just a friend”, you bite.

“Yeah, right,” Tom scoffs, slamming his glass on the bar. He’s leaning closer, crowding you, and there are too many people behind him and all of a sudden you’ve lost sight of your table. “Knew I was right to put a stop to that.”

“Fuck you, Tom,” you spit, trying desperately to wriggle free. “I want to get back to my friends now, please.”

“Had his fuckin’ hands all over you the other day,” he continues, ignoring you. “Bet he tried it on when we were together, didn’t he?”

“No, he- Fuck, Tom, will you please just let me out-”

Eddie catches glimpses of you between passing bodies. He sees the way Tom’s crowding you and how you’re squirming and, honestly, he wants to walk into the sea.

Tom was never introduced to your friends. It was mostly his own choice, but Eddie and Robin and everyone else saw it for what it was. You just managed to get out before he cut you off from them all completely.

Now, in the low light of the bar, he’s not so certain that you’re done with him. Sure, you seemed unnerved when you bumped into him at the record store, but he begins to wonder if maybe you’d just been caught off guard, and if you’d thought about him since then. Had you called him?

“Hey,” Robin mutters, leaning over the table to Eddie with her eyes on you, “I think- I don’t know, she looks annoyed.”

Finally, there’s a gap in the crowd, and he sees it too. The pinch of your brow, and the squirming that isn’t squirming. You’re scared.

He stands so quickly that his head spins. He sees Nancy in his peripheral vision standing too, though she’s penned in by Jonathan and Steve. Eddie’s heavy footsteps take too long, he’s too slow; Tom’s hand is around your arm and he’s leaving, taking you with him, willingly or not.

He follows the silhouette of Tom, dark against the brash streetlamp light coming in through the glass doors. He can see the top of your head and feels himself pulled to you like a fish on a line.

He catches up just as Tom pushes the door open and stumbles into the snow, blinded by the fluorescent bulb in the lamp above. You feel the inebriation seep out of you with every second spent in the cold, your bare arms covered in goosebumps.

“Tom, what the fuck?” you spit, finally separating yourself from him. You feel the burn left by his tough grip on your upper arm. He’s still close, close enough that he can take your head in one firm hand.

“Just wanted to see your pretty face,” he says, his voice suddenly softer, his breath too hot on your face, “couldn’t see you properly in-”

“Hey.”

You turn just as Tom does to find Eddie in the doorway. His fists are clenched again and so is his jaw; you know him well enough to see your own anger reflected back at you.

“You okay?” he asks, looking at you, tender as always and it does something to dampen the fiery rage you’re keeping at bay. You nod as Tom drops his hand and scoffs.

“See,” he spits, “loverboy won’t leave you the fuck alone.”

You take three steps back. Eddie comes closer.

“Go home,” he says to Tom as you reach out and take his fist into both hands. He relaxes, and you wind your fingers together. 

“Oh, c’mon,” Tom says, “you can’t be serious? Look at him, babe, he’s…”

“Can we go back in?” you whisper to Eddie, whose stern face is beginning to worry you. He says nothing but tugs on your hand and, to your relief, Tom seems to back away around the corner as you retreat indoors.

The door shuts and Eddie turns, but before he can say anything you throw your arms around him and push your face into his neck. He’s startled, but not so much that he can’t return it, his own arms around your back, the pressure a welcome thing.

“Hey,” he coos, “are you sure you’re okay?”

“Thank you,” you say, muffled by his shirt. “Thank you.”

He pulls back, too worried to care to hug you any longer. Instead he lets himself fuss over you, a tentative hand at your jaw as he looks you in the eye.

“I’m okay,” you finally say, sighing. “I hate him.”

Eddie can’t help but laugh. “I do too.”

“Thank you for not hitting him,” you murmur.

His fingers hover by your ear and just as you think he’s going to touch you, he lowers his hand.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I knew you’d hate that.”

He takes your hand again, a gesture which sends both of you independently loopy, and returns with you to the table, where Nancy nearly falls over Robin to get to you. As you reassure her and take your seat again, sandwiched between the two girls, Eddie takes a long swig of beer.

“Hey,” Steve slurs, leaning over to you. “Did y’know Eddie’s ears go red when he’s jealous?”

You look back at him with wide eyes as Eddie gives him a swift thwack to the arm, telling him to fuck off.

“It’s true!” Steve assures you. “I saw it with my own eyes! Like, five minutes ago, I-”

He’s stopped by more of Eddie’s playful hitting.

Quietly, just to you, Nancy says, “It’s true.”

You turn to look at her. She’s got that sparkle in her eye. It appears when she’s got a plan, or an idea, or knows something.

“For a minute, it looked like you were enjoying it,” she continues. “I bet he could’ve burned this place to the ground with how jealous he was getting.”

She nods to her left, where Eddie is dealing with a still restless Steve. He senses you looking and meets your eye, and the pretty pink blush that covers his cheeks is enough to make you look away.

-

The coffee machine pings just as the doorbell goes.

You jump, startled by both noises. Leaving the coffee to stew you pad through the apartment and open the door slowly, making sure to hide behind it to save the postman seeing you in your pyjama shorts.

When you pull it back, you’re surprised by the sight of your best friend, standing at your door in his own pyjamas.

“Morning,” he says, chuckling lowly.

“What are you doing here?” you ask as you let him inside. “Did you- Did you walk here in that?”

“God no,” he says, “have you seen it out there?”

Truthfully, you haven’t dared pull the curtains back yet. “No,” you admit, locking the door again and wishing you’d had the sense even in your drunken stupor to put your good pyjamas on. You pat the front of the crinkled cotton at the top of your thighs, smoothing it down to no avail.

“There’s coffee in the kitchen,” you tell him as you step over to the living room window and pull back the blind to reveal what can only be described as a blizzard.

Eddie comes in behind you with two steaming mugs. “Slept on Steve’s fucking couch,” he says, laughing again. “Dimwit couldn’t get himself into bed and then the weather got too bad for me to get a cab home.”

Steve lives two floors above you, in an apartment much the same as your own. His couch is small. Eddie’s back must hurt.

“How is he?”

“Steve?”

“Hm.”

“He’ll be fine,” Eddie sighs, throwing himself onto your couch and kicking his feet up, socked toes just missing the side of your bare thigh. “Probably regrets the fourth round of shots, but at least he had fun.”

“Did you have fun?” you ask softly.

“Yeah, I mean- Of course.” He reaches over to pick up your coffee and leans over to pass it to you. “Didn’t you?”

You take it from him and sit back, sighing. “Yeah, yeah, just…”

Your throat is suddenly too thick to drink the coffee. You stare at it, the deep mahogany liquid pouring steam into the tepid room.

“How does he still manage to ruin everything?” you ask, the question more an abstract frustration than anything aimed directly at Eddie.

He stiffens on the other end of the couch. He knows you don’t mean Steve, that your mind is elsewhere, on the impatient hands that couldn’t keep themselves from pressing painfully into your arm or the coddling of his hot breath on your face out in the snow.

“Hey,” Eddie coos, softening when he notices your hands shaking. He takes the mug, his own hands gentle on you to save from startling you, and replaces it on the table. “Here, c’mere-”

You lean into him, pushing your face into the softness of Steve’s sweater that he’s wearing. You keep apologising - variations of I’m sorry spat out between quiet sobs - and he keeps telling you it’s okay. One hand holds your elbow while the other smooths up and down your back, his cheek pressed to the top of your head.

“Thank you for saving me,” you say, and he exhales when he hears the smile in your words.

“Y’don’t have to thank me again,” he says. You lean back and the two of you sit as mirror images of one another, one knee up on the couch and the other foot on the floor. You wipe your eye with the back of your wrist. Eddie yearns to knock your hand away and do it himself, to clean you up and kiss you when he’s done. He keeps his hands to himself instead.

“I dunno what I’d have done,” you whisper, “I mean, I don’t think he’d have done anything, but I still don’t wanna think about it.”

“I don’t either,” Eddie agrees before he can stop himself.

You look at him. There are deepening shadows beneath his eyes that you’re sure the couch is to blame for, and his hair’s unruly, matted from what you can only imagine was an useless night’s sleep, but your favourite thing - the mellow brown of his eyes - is just as pretty as ever. So’s his skin, pale and imperfect where he’s inked the left side of his neck and you can see the very top of the scar that stretches over his collarbone. He broke it when you were both ten, and he still teases you about how quick you were to run from him when you saw the bone and the broken flesh. You’re desperate to know if it’d be warm under your fingertips, your lips, your tongue.

“Do your ears really get red when you’re jealous?” you ask him. You see him stiffen at the question, his eyes narrowing just so, as his hands flex over his knees.

“Steve’s an asshole,” Eddie says.

“I know-”

“But yeah,” he says, the corner of his mouth breaking loose into a smile, “He’s right. It’s stupid.”

You kick his foot with your own softly and laugh.

“Why were you jealous?”

“Oh, seriously?”

“Yes! Why were you jealous?!” you repeat, grinning.

“You’re really gonna make me say it?”

“Yes.”

He sighs, all dramatic and silly and you laugh until his restless hand lands on your knee instead of his own.

“I thought you were glad to see him,” he admits.

“I don’t know how you got that impression,” you say. You’re trying to ignore the soft rumbling in your chest, lest it take your breath away.

“Dunno,” he says, and suddenly he reminds you of sixteen-year-old Eddie, awkward and goofy, the boy you fell for.

“Well,” you say, “I’m very glad you came to my rescue.”

“I didn’t rescue you, you’re perfectly capable of doing that yourself,” he says, laughing. His knee knocks yours and his fingers spread until the tips of them are meeting the middle of your thigh.

“Still, it was a nice thing to do.”

He hums and you inhale as you place your hand on his. He looks up at you and the contact seems to provide some courage.

He says your name, and it’s softer than ever in the quiet of your living room. As far as the two of you are aware, there’s nothing beyond here; no blizzard, no hungover Steve two floors up, no shitty ex-boyfriends. Just you and Eddie and the string of starlight pulling you together.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks in a whisper, leaning in, already resting more weight on the hand on your thigh. Somehow, it feels like the most natural question in the world.

You nod. “Yeah, please.”

He closes the gap with his forehead to yours, tilting his head enough that his nose slots beside yours as he kisses you. You expected a peck, something nervous, but that’s impossible when there’s a decade of want behind it. He’s firm and certain as his hands finally take grateful handfuls of your hips, and your mouth burns as you kiss him back. He worries he’s being too handsy, especially after last night, but when you feel him retreating you take his larger hands in yours and keep them there.

This morning, as his tongue moves past yours, Eddie tastes like spearmint, coffee and tobacco. You miss the taste as soon as his lips paint tender kisses at the corner of your mouth and over the hill of your jaw, but you keen at the sensation anyway, arching into him.

“This okay?” he asks in a pant, pulling back and hiding a smile as he hears you whine.

“Yeah,” you breathe. You use shaky fingers to push curls back so you can see his face and, holding him in both hands, kiss the swell of his cheek followed by the other. “Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me,” he says, chuckling.

“What do we do now?” you ask him.

He looks back at you, feeling more whole than ever, and notices the creeping worry lines between your brows. Pushing against your hold, he leans forward and kisses you there. The satisfaction of feeling you relax is enough to keep him going for a thousand years.

“Well,” he whispers, and his breath isn’t too hot like Tom’s. It’s warm and friendly where it blooms over your closed eyes. “Go take care of Steve, probably.”

“Kiss me again?”

He does, wordlessly, softer than before, once on your mouth and another on your forehead. You wind your arms around his back, and with cheek resting on the top of your head, he says those fateful words into your hair: 

“Love you.”

You squeeze without thinking, smiling into his chest.

“Love you too.”

-

[artificial-transmutations]

Utopia

The sun was beaming down mercilessly on Trax as he climbed up the dusty rocks of the badlands. It didn't help much that his clothing was torn to rugs after the long journey or that his hands were calloused from the countless hours of climbing and shoving rocks and dirt. Still, the muscular and rugged man did not stop and climbed on, determined to reach the top of the hill. He didn't have too much choice. His water canteen was almost empty, only holding enough liquid for another half a day of hiking.

Trax stopped for a moment to wipe his brow and dry his hands on the very few scraps of clothing that were left from his shirt. Trax tried to control his breathing. His friends would surely have called him crazy, going into the badlands like this: Without preparation, without equipment and alone. Perhaps one or two of them would even have insisted on coming with him, to make sure he wasn't just throwing his life away. His friends really were awesome guys, Trax thought before correcting himself. No, that wasn't right. His friends had been awesome guys. Past tense. Another twinge of sadness darkened Trax' already bad mood. Truth be told, if his friends would still be around, he wouldn't even have considered taking on this crazy journey. But that was in the past. When the raiders on their bikes and trucks attacked Trax' settlement, many of the men, including every damn single one of his friends had been massacred. It had been a blood bath and Trax had only survived because he was out at the time, scavenging the industrial ruins nearby for supplies.

Having been born after the calamity and the subsequent wars, Trax knew fair well that surviving in the central European wasteland was difficult under the best circumstances. Having been heavily decimated by raiders, however, with most of the men dead it was nearly impossible. Most women and children had decided to leave, hoping to find a new place to settle or perhaps to find another settlement, where they might have a chance at a normal life. Not so Trax. Pretty much everyone had heard the story of Utopia. Utopia, the city of legends. Utopia, the safe haven. Grasping at straws, he set out for the badlands, in search of the mythical place.

Sighing, Trax got back to climbing, scaling the rest of the hill a bit more energetic now. After another half an hour, he finally reached the top of the hill, only to be rewarded with a wide view over a valley between the barren mountains. More importantly, though, Trax could hardly believe his eyes. Taking most of the space of the valley was a glass dome surrounded by a massive concrete and metal wall. Under the pristine glass that was reflecting the sunlight like a jewel, Trax could see a city. Not any city, mind you! Trax could see the green of trees and bushes between the high-rising spires, and the glittering of running water. He was able to make out some slight movement under the dome, probably from vehicles or even flying cars, and the air itself had a clean shimmer, almost like he imagined it when he heard the stories as a child.

Trax was mesmerized by the view, but at the same time, he didn't quite believe what he was seeing. He had really done it. He had reached the city of Utopia!

As fast as he could without breaking his legs, Trax scrambled down the hill and towards the impressive fortification. With each step, another thought became more and more prevalent. He had been so focused on finding the city that he had not yet thought of how to get in. From what he knew from the stories, Utopia had been a project of corporations and remnants of governments alike. A safe haven in the post-apocalyptic hellscape the continent had become. Of course, even though there were considerably less people than before the calamity, a single city would never be enough to house all survivors. So, the corporations chose a simple, yet proven concept of controlling who could get in: You had to pay for entry. It was ridiculously expensive, an amount of money Trax could not possibly earn in a hundred lifetimes. Enough to buy a bunch of settlements the size Trax' old home was. Of course, in the settlements, slums really, money didn't have too much meaning anymore. It was used for trading with other settlements, but apart from that, the concept of wealth had mainly meaning in the remains of the big cities. Even there, only a very elite few had been able to buy themselves entry into Utopia.

And now that *he* was here, standing in front of the massive concrete walls, it seemed like a stupid idea anyway. Who was he, a nobody, a mere scavenger, to try and demand entry to the city of dreams?

Well, he had to try. The gate in the concrete wall was massive. At least 20 meters tall and made of sturdy metal. Nobody was there, no guard or anyone really, which was not too surprising: Trax could hardly imagine anyone wanting to stand guard here, in the middle of nowhere, in the searing heat. Inside the huge gate was a smaller door, made from the same sturdy metal, with a computer console next to it. When Trax stepped closer, the terminal lit up. Trax was able to read, a skill that was sometimes necessary when scavenging the industrial ruins. However, he didn't have too much practice, so it took him a moment to decipher the three words on the surprisingly clean display: "Enter Entry Ticket".

Trax cursed. There was nothing else to be read, and even if there were, he would not have had any clue as to what he was supposed to do. He banged his fist against the door, and the sound reverberated off the nearby hills. However, there was no answer. Apparently, the entry in the city was fully automated and without an expensive ticket, there was no way to get in. Climbing up the concrete walls was pretty much impossible, and even if he managed to, he would only stand in front of the mighty glass dome.

Defeated, Trax slumped against the wall. It didn't make sense. He had made it all this way, had seen the city, had touched the very walls and yet, the city was still not within reach.

That's when he noticed another path, almost invisible under layers of dust and dirt. The main gate was well maintained and cleaned, but this path, going along the wall, had clearly not been used in decades. Perhaps there was still a chance to get into the city after all.

Trax followed the path for a few dozen meters before he noticed a faded writing on the concrete. The yellow paint was huge but aged and showed an arrow to the left. Under the arrow, Trax could read the words: "Lottery Winners, This Way".

Lottery winners. Something stirred in Trax' memory. Lottery. Yes, he remembered that part of the story. Of course, after announcing that only the richest of the rich were granted access to the city of dreams, there had been an outrage. Following that, and to soothe the masses, there had been a huge lottery where one thousand souls from all over the country were able to win a place in the city. It was said that whoever won the lottery left for Utopia and never came back - understandably so.

Apparently, the way he was following now was meant for the lottery winners. Trax felt a twinge of hope. Perhaps there was yet another way of getting into the city. It was a faint chance, but it was a chance.

Trax followed the path that was winding around the big walls until it ended in an archway that led down into the foundation of the concrete structure. It was a gaping black hole in the light concrete, but, and that was both surprising and like a miracle to Trax, not barred by a door.

He carefully entered the archway and waited for his vision to adopt to his now darker surroundings. There was enough sunlight coming in through the entry to discern that he was now standing in a long, concrete corridor, tilted a little bit downwards. Trax could vividly imagine a thousand people standing in queue in the broad corridor, but now his steps echoed from the blank wall. After a little while, electric lights flickered to live as he was nearing a fork in the corridor. It split into two, left and right, where the left was adorned with a black figure wearing a skirt, while the right one showed a similar figure wearing pants. The universal signs for male and female, as they were found on old restrooms as well. Without thinking too much about it, Trax turned right and went down the "male" path. After only a few more steps, he passed a heavy metal door, which stood widely into a medium sized room.

The room wasn't well maintained, but it was clear that this was a part of the technological marvels that kept the city running. It was crammed with pipes and cables, tubes and huge towers of technology that Trax couldn't really place. However, everything in here seemed dormant. There were no blinking lights, no beeping sounds or sound of liquids running through the pipes. Dormant, with one exception. In the center of the room, there stood a huge block of machinery, with two notable features. The first was a large screen at about eye level that was dark. The second thing was a hole in the block with a diameter of about 5-6 centimeters in diameter 80 centimeters above the ground, surrounded by a blue plastic ring. This ring was lit by some internal light source and was blinking slowly, as if it was breathing. Curiously, Trax stepped closer.

As he approached the block, two things happened at once. With a faint whirring sound, the machinery in front of him came alive and the display lit up. At the same time, a loud bang sounded from the entrance and the heavy door slammed shut, closing Trax in.

Trax could feel panic rising up but fought it down again quickly. Whatever was happening here was just standard procedure for the lottery winners. There was probably nothing to worry about. Instead, he looked at the screen. In big white flickering letters on green background, it read:

"Welcome Lottery Winner! Please enjoy yourself!"

Trax couldn't make sense of the message, so he took another look around the room. There was another, considerably larger door on the other side of the room, but it was closed shut as well, with no discernable way of opening it. While the room was crammed with technology, the only active thing Trax could see was the central block with the hole and the screen. "Please enjoy yourself!". What was that supposed to mean?

Trax cocked his head and took another long look at the block. The only other notable feature was the hole surrounded by the blue ring, about one leg length from the ground. Trax squatted down and took a closer look at it. The blue ring was still blinking, the hole itself was dark. When Trax looked into it, he could only see blackness. Carefully, he felt it with his finger and was surprised to find a smooth malleable surface that quickly warmed to the touch, not unlike silicon. When he extended his index finger deeper into the hole, he could feel the walls of the hole suddenly starting to move in a slow, wave-like motion.

Trax quickly withdrew his finger and the motion stopped. He cocked his head again. That surely couldn't be right. "Please enjoy yourself!". It couldn't possibly mean...

On the other hand, there were a lot of indicators. The hole in the block was at exactly the right height and had the right diameter. The message could very well be interpreted that way. This was a room designated for male lottery winners. And the doors closed, allowing for some privacy. Trax shook his head. This was crazy. What possible reason could there be that the designers of the city wanted the lottery winners to... jerk off before entering the city?

On the other hand, perhaps it wasn't even too stupid. Getting your rocks off, possibly after a long journey would help the newcomers to relax and see things calmer and more rational. It was unusual, sure, but possibly not a bad idea.

"Enjoy yourself!" the message still read.

"Fine!" Trax said. "If that's what you want, let's do this!"

He undid his belt, pulled his torn trousers and even more threadbare underwear down, and grabbed his soft dick. With a few quick strokes, he got it first half-hard, and then, when he was rigid enough, he directed his cock to the waiting hole. It wasn't too difficult to get hard to be honest. Trax hadn't had time to jerk off since the attack on his settlement, and now that he was finally safe and relaxed, he was able to unwind a little bit. He could feel his blood rushing down, and his dick got stiffer and harder, until the head of his dick was throbbing and ready to enter the tight hole.

Trax was panting and gasping as he shoved his dick forward, penetrating the warm, slick tunnel. He couldn't believe how good this felt. The hole was so soft and malleable and so very tight! Immediately, the movements started again, and Trax moaned with delight as his dick was surrounded by waves of pulsing, squeezing pressure. His cock was swallowed whole and pressed on the tight tube as if it wanted to milk his dick. Trax gasped again. There was absolutely no doubt that this device was meant for exactly this purpose. He stepped even closer to the block, until his shaft was buried in the masturbation aid to the hilt. Slowly, he pulled his dick back, feeling every inch of the wet, warm and tight sleeve until the head was resting against the entrance. Then, with a grunt, he shoved it back, making the machine squeal and his body shudder with the intense sensation.

This time, there was another whirring sound inside the machine, and the hole became a lot tighter as a strong suction became active around his cock.

"Fuuuuck..." Trax groaned. His legs were shaking as his shaft was being sucked on with incredible strength. This was so much better than jerking off! He tried to pull back to thrust his cock back in with force but found himself unable to. The suction was so strong that it just didn't allow any movement of his dick. So, all he could do was to stand there, trembling as the machine was milking his cock. He used both his hands to grab onto the machine block in order not to be too overwhelmed. Trax was so enthralled by the experience that he didn't notice the technology in the room turned itself on one by one. Before long, Trax was surrounded by whirring, squealing and clicking noises from all directions.

However, Trax did notice when both of his wrist where suddenly grabbed by cold metal grabs and jerked apart until his arms were forcefully extended left and right of his body. He tried to pull free, but the machine held him firmly. A second later, a metal strap shot out of the block, and forced his legs apart until his whole body was spread-eagled. Then, with a clang, the two straps were bolted to the floor.

Trax was unable to move, except for his hips, which were still being pleasured by the amazingly tight machine sleeve. Was this some kind of intruder detection? Still, the machine pleasuring his cock felt incredible and hadn't it been for the sudden attack of the machinery, he would already be close to cumming. Right now, however, Trax was looking left and right to the strong metal arms holding his wrists in place in increasing confusion and panic.

Then, something new happened. Accompanied by a mechanical whirr, Trax felt a prodding sensation at his exposed ass. Then, without much more of a warning, a silicon replica of a large cock rammed itself into his ass. Trax had secretly always fantasized about being intimate with another man, and, more importantly, to be fucked by another man, but he didn't expect to experience this sensation for the first time here, in all places. He didn't even have the chance to prepare himself, to stretch himself open. The cock, that was clearly made out of the same material as the masturbation aid, was thick and hard and the sudden penetration took his breath away and made him moan both from pain, surprise and pleasure.

The dildo was moving back and forth in a rhythmic pace, slowly, but with a steady mechanical strength. Despite the helpless situation, Trax felt he was in, the combined sensations were too much to bear. With a cry, he came, hard, into the machine, injecting spurt after spurt of his cum into the mechanism.

At the same time, he felt the dildo in his ass release a thick liquid into his intestines as well, leading to a strangely full feeling in his behind.

Trax' faint hope that now the machine would surely release him, however, quickly vanished. After his dick had spent the last drops of his load into the machine, the machine began to move alongside his dick again, the movements now accompanied by the slick feeling of his own sperm in the device. A moment later, the rhythmic fucking of his ass began anew. There was one change to before, though: The screen in front of him no longer showed the "Enjoy yourself" message but instead flickered with lightning fast strings of zeros and ones, each one displaying for little more than a millisecond.

Trax felt the strangest sensation as the dildo continued to fuck his ass. The semen, or whatever the machine was pumping into his bowels, was now acting as a lubricant and his ass was being fucked in the most pleasant way. At the same time, he felt a tingling sensation all over his body. He watched in amazement as all the little dark hairs on his body one after another fell to the ground like specks of dust. Trax had barely time to notice, though, as another grab from behind fixated his head to the screen in front of him.

Still, the strange sensation didn't stop there. Trax couldn't see it because he was unable to turn his head now, but he could almost feel his skin turning an unnatural gray - no, silver color. At the same time, his skin became harder and colder.

Trax groaned as his body suddenly expanded. He had been a fit, lean man, but now, his body changed so quickly it was almost like magic, accompanied by a churning feeling from within him. Again, he came, and again, more thick liquid was deposited into him as well, just as his bod became more and more bulky.

Trax' head was swimming. Somehow, the strings of binary numbers almost made sense to him. It was clear that something was planted into his brain, but he couldn't make sense of what exactly it was. However, there was one thing he could make sense of.

Trax had to serve Utopia. The thought appeared so quickly and so forcefully Trax couldn't help but say it out loud: "Serve... Utopia". What was going on?

He didn't have time to think about it further as his body expanded even more. His cock was still being squeezed and the dildo was still fucking him, and his muscles were burning from the constant strain, but the tingling sensation had not yet stopped. The skin on his arms and legs split open at the joints now. Around the parts that didn't need to move, cold and rigid metal plates formed now, while the joints were becoming flexible plastic. Trax could almost *feel* his bones become metal and his muscles being replaced by powerful servo motors. His chest had barreled out and the skin became a large metal casing. Inside, a whirring and clacking noise took place, before several valves formed at the side of his torso, leading to an internal oil tank.

Trax was acutely aware of all of that, but he couldn't react to it. His eyes were glued to the screen and with every passing number, Trax felt his own will being pushed away, replaced by a cold calculating logic, primed at a single motive.

"Serve Utopia", Trax said again and this time, his voice sounded different, almost artificial. The old Trax was still there of course - even as his head turned into the cold metal skull and his face was replaced by a red visor containing his sensory equipment, Trax original personality was perfectly preserved. He just couldn't help it. He had lost all control over his body, his voice and even his thoughts. He was being converted and there was nothing he could do. One last spurt of cum, the last remains of his human nature left his cock just before it turned into a set of tubes and electric connectors. The connector in his rear port deposited a last portion of nanobots and withdrew from the port after that. With that, the restraints holding his arms and legs released him at once. Unlike his flesh body from before however, Trax' new metal body didn't slump in on itself but stood unmoved due to its strong internal structure.

Trax wanted to turn around, to run away, but his body wouldn't obey his commands. Instead, another clear, pristine thought formed in his mind. "Connecting", Trax said in his new, mechanical voice.

Then, all of a sudden, his mind exploded and expanded. He was now *connected* to the city, to Utopia. Even more so, he was becoming a *part* of Utopia, one mechanical drone to serve the wealthy inhabitants of the city.

"Receiving new designation.... TRX-1001".

TRX-1001 quietly observed as the doors to the room sprung open. It withdrew its frontal groin connector from the conversion unit and stomped towards its assigned maintenance task.

As TRX-1001 entered the city of Utopia, Trax, who was still inside, was overcome by mixed feelings. He had really done it. He had reached the city of dreams. He had even become somewhat immortal, but at what cost. He had been reduced to little more than a subroutine in one of the thousand and one autonomous drones serving the city, toiling away day after day.

[cgtg]

And completely unrelated to my last ask I'm going to a concert where WHY? happens to be opening relatively soon and I think you've talked about them a little. Was wondering if you had any recs/good places to start so I can bone up before seeing them live. Ok that's all have a good day.

hold on im gonna reply to this first cos first of all thats fuckin crreazy theyre opening???? the fuck???????? man i hope u have a great time why? is one of my fav bands of all time. i hope you rlly like it.

i had a lot to say, & a lot of things 2 mention, and then realised, i'd probably communicate all this better if i made u a sample platter & just let the songs speak for themselves.

here it is.

this should be a pretty good intro 2 each album. this has ~4 songs from each of their albums (and a couple from the EPs in-between) in order of release. feel free to just click on whichever trax look interesting.

then i'd recommend just jumping into the albums of whichever tracks u like most B]. when i saw them live, it was a pretty healthy mix with emphasis on their most recent album.

here's a quick summary of each album:

**oaklandazulasylum (2003): the foundation, yoni himself. hip-hop. simple self-made beats, dark lyrics. bleak and small and beautiful to meeeee. <3 why? was originally his stage name before it evolved in2 a band name.

"GOLDEN AGE" WHY?

(most of their fanbase was built in this era, which is why i call it this)

*** elephant eyelash (2005): band is fully formed. indie with hip-hop influences. very distinct soundscape. bittersweet, yearning, lonely. super catchy singles.

* sanddollars & rubber traits (EPs, 2005-6): coupled with elephant eyelash. very varied, similar style. short and sweet.

*** alopecia (2008): back to rap roots, with indie instrumentals. very dirty, grim, and gritty. their most popular album to my understanding, and deserves it. i included 5 trax for this one bc i needed to show the variety.

** eskimo snow (2009): masterpieces. i don't know how else to describe this album than flowers blooming and the feeling of butterflies. you can see signs of this album in every one prior. it feels like a culmination in a way

MODERN WHY?

(psychedelic, folky in parts, interesting instrumental choices)

** mumps, etc. (2012) + sod in the seed EP (2012): experimental instrumentals, the start of "new era" why? imo, or the transition phase in retrospect. a "return to form" in ways, heavily contains rap. but the instrumentals include strings, woodwinds, harps, horns, flugelhorn.... lots going on. i think it takes some warming up to, but not the EP. the EP is clleeeeaaaaan. rly nice!

** moh lhean (2017): huge step away from rap roots. very soft, airy, and earthen sound. atmospheric. psychedelia & folk, with traces of rap in his lyrical flow. beautiful lyrics, some of my favourite works lyrically r on this one.

* AOKOHIO (2019): album of sweet treats, some short tracks. quite a bit of variety & experimentation here. i don't listen to it much except for "high dive". came w/ a visual album.

*** the well i fell into (2024): i think therapy works. slow, earthy, ethereal sounds. soft & sleepy, reflective. a lot of songs that u gotta give a minute to kick in imo, but they can reaallly hit.

*** = very likely to come up. good prep

** = decent chance

* = i'd be pretty surprised

when i went, yoni's brother josiah wolf (the drummer) was selling the merch. i'm just giving u this as a warning. this could happen to u or anyone. you could be victim of band member interaction attack. i got kinda freaked out but i played it chill. as fuck in front of him.

thank u for coming to ask me abt this, i uummm i really really like why?. i don't know how much they'll play if it's just an opener... i'd rlly like to hear abt it from u if u dont mind sharing, when it happenz. hope ur doin well dash

more rando ramblos under the cut lawl.

why? has gone thru a *lot* of development and genre experimentation over the years. it started as yoni only, with experimental/abstract hip hop on the first album, oaklandazulasylum. while that album is very different from the rest of their stuff, u can hear the groundworks of yoni's prior work in the late 90s clearly.

by the second album, elephant eyelash, it was a fully-formed band. overtime it evolved into more indie stuff, and currently why? has a very soft & ethereal sound as opposed to their earlier stuff, which was super gritty. throughout there has been a throughline of rlly beautiful melodies that feel like blooming flowers & i do not know how else to describe it. its blooming flowers... you can find this consistently on every album tbh.

consistently it is all very very introspective & hyperspecific; why? uses his songs as a means 2 express his own life, problems, experiences. it is *deeply* personal music and contains recounts of some of his darkest moments in his life that he weaves , alchemy-like, into very beautiful commentary on what it means to live. you can literally *hear* the progression of yoni's mental health, album by album.

a direct quote from one of my fav songs: "and i know saying all this in public should make me feel funny, but you gotta yell something that you'd never tell nobody." you can apply this ethos 2 why?'s entire discog.

hope this helpz thank u f or sending me an ask abt it B]

[appears]

20th Anniversary

Namie Amuro: Style (2003.12.10)

There are at least four distinct eras in Namie Amuro's career: 1) her initial debut with the idol-ish super eurobeat/dance group SUPER MONKEY'S (which spawned the group MAX) from 1992 to 1995, 2) her major debut as a solo artist with Avex Trax in 1995, kicked off by the single "Body Feels EXIT," through to the height of her popularity as a leading figure in the J-pop industry alongside producer Tetsuya Komuro until her abrupt hiatus in 1997, 3) the awkward, not-very-well-received comeback and transition to post-TK R&B, which saw the lowest sales numbers of her career, and lasted roughly until the release of Queen of Hip-Pop in 2005, and 4) her meteoric rebound, transition back to dance-pop, and the cementing of her status as a legend, until the abrupt announcement of her retirement in 2017. There are a lot of mini-moments within these eras, and many parts overlap so that it's not exactly seamless, but that's the gist of it.

While Namie's comeback was one of the rarest in music history, the factors that led to the initial nadir are just as interesting and numerous. For one, she had squandered the goodwill of the public by engaging in activity that was frowned upon in Japan at the time: she hooked up with a backup dancer, got pregnant, got married, got tattoos, and got divorced, all within the space of a couple of years. On top of it, Namie's success was tied to that of her producer, the mega-popular and prolific Tetsuya Komuro, who was basically running a personal empire in the 1990s. While Namie's popularity and success was never due solely to the music he was writing for her, it was an enormous contributing factor to her sales numbers. TK's brand of pop was the defining style of the 90s, with no one better able to pry open wallets in what was the CD format's most lucrative era. But just as quickly and completely as he ruled hearts and charts, his music fell out of style, also as a result of several factors (mostly the rise of singer-songwriters and R&B/hip-hop in the mainstream, and personal issues involving everything from tax evasion, to drug rumors and a wild romantic life). Namie teaming up with him again for her immediate comeback never stood a chance against so much drama. So major changes were made when Namie ditched the Komuro baggage, taking the plunge with new support -- Dallas Austin, m-flo, ZEEBRA, even Teddy Riley -- into the world of R&B and hip-hop.

This brave step didn't immediately produce amazing results: if anything, Namie's early forays proved lackluster and indecisive on albums like GENIUS 2000. It wasn't until 2003's STYLE that she finally and fully committed to the change. Gone were the days of chasing the chance and dreaming that she was dreaming, Namie was now putting up her dukes, wishing on the same star, and shining more. The songs on the album were all heavily influenced by contemporary Western trends of the time, especially Black hip-hop, fashion, and culture. The early 00s was still the era of P. Diddy, Jennifer Lopez, Nelly, Busta Rhymes and Missy Elliott, and in some ways, STYLE samples sounds from all of these artists in different ways, with the inclusion of a few softer songs, such as "Four Seasons," "As Good As," and "Come," which were deliberately added for variety. But for the most part, the album is built on beats, bars, and rhymes. This was still a fairly new thing to see in the Japanese mainstream, and certainly by an Avex Trax artist -- for comparison, Ayumi Hamasaki had just released her rock opus I am..., while RAINBOW merely dipped a toe into R&B on a song like "Real me," Ai Otsuka was less than a year out from releasing LOVE PUNCH, Hikaru Utada was actually going softer and more art-pop with Deep River, and both BoA and Kumi Koda had just debuted in Japan with LISTEN TO MY HEART and affection respectively, which stayed squarely on the softer R&B/pop side of the fence. Only Crystal Kay, HEARTSDALES, and maybe DOUBLE were a step ahead of Namie, but I would argue that STYLE and Namie's involvement in projects like SUITE CHIC really let the sound transition into the broader and bigger Oricon mainstream, prompting a rash of copycat records.

Even so, STYLE did poorly. It still hit #1 in its first week, but it stands as Namie's least popular record with the fewest sales numbers to this day. It does, however, have something of a cult following by fans who now look back at the early 00s with nostalgia. Personally, I didn't like this album when I first heard it -- its lack of pop and dance music, which I was used to hearing from Namie, coupled with what seemed like a desperate bid for relevancy in a genre that I wasn't particularly interested in at the time, turned me off from spending much time with it. Nowadays, I dislike this album less -- there are songs on here that I actually really like. My only real caveat is that the album is split too abruptly at the halfway point between the bangers and the non-hip-hop tracks. In hindsight, STYLE is clearly Namie still getting comfortable in this milieu, and it's especially obvious next to albums like Queen of Hip-Pop and PLAY that were more successful at capturing something both influenced by hip-hop and unique to what only Namie could bring.

This CD album comes in a standard jewel case with an OBI and a booklet that features additional photos and lyrics. First press editions featured two exclusive bonus tracks: a remix of "SO CRAZY," and an alternate version of "Wishing on the Same Star." For me, this album is more interesting for what lead to it, what it lead to, and what it said about the state of Namie Amuro and J-pop at the time. It's not great, but it's not nearly as bad as I remember it being. Avex Trax, of course, would politely disagree, largely ignoring it on the career-summarizing compilation album Finally (only "SO CRAZY" represents). After something as tentative and a bit try-hard as this, the world was not ready for what was coming down the pipe with Queen of Hip-Pop, making that era all the more wild and magical.

Catalog Number: AVCD-17372

[gaijin-fujin-resonance]

REZISTO

On first listen, it was the little electronic squiggle that hooked me. Sure, it’s the prowling panther bassline that shapes the song and gives it its swaggering, slightly menacing power. But it’s that repeated hook of three descending minor notes that scratches at my brain like an itch.

Rezisto is not as flashy as some of the other electro bangers on the record, but it’s the one I keep coming back to. Maybe it’s the soft yet ominous urgency of the vocals - this is the quality of Imai’s voice that I love best: the same gentle, breathy, whispered sing-speaking that made me first fall in love with his singing style on 愛かわらずの「アレ」のカタマリがのさばる反吐の底の吹き溜り. It’s a relatively quiet song, but it feels dramatic, almost cinematic in its scope. A nighttime song. A song for stalking down dirty, narrow, rain-splashed alleys in a long leather coat, stepping between pools of neon-coloured light. I listened to it on headphones while walking along deserted industrial areas by the river in East Berlin late at night, and suddenly felt like a Cold War spy, a rebel in the Resistance.

The circling, portamento-warped bassline gives the verses their startlingly claustrophobic, paranoid feel. I can never quite tell if it’s a synth-bass or that’s just Yuta stretching the strings to bend the notes. The repeated three-note squiggle comes in first at 0:04, and is repeated, chopped and edited at 0:09 - it runs through the whole song like a pedal point around which the melody stalks like a double agent hunting a spy, bending and changing with the surrounding chords. The electronic filter sweeps drive the song’s urgency with that sense of constant movement. And that flickering, tightly edited, glitching guitar! It’s the most human element to the music, and yet the clever edits make it feel like a simulation, a retreating figure glimpsed only through the VHS static of a black and white security camera.

The song evokes such a specific time and place, it sent me searching through my record collection to try to work out what lost EBM or Wax Trax classic that squiggle reminded me of. So many three letter acronym bands I danced to in dirty Industrial clubs in the late 80s / early 90s: Meat Beat Manifesto. Front Line Assembly. Front 242. Nitzer Ebb. Renegade Soundwave. KMFDM. Ministry, LARD, Revolting Cocks… I can almost smell the sweaty leather and clove cigarettes. And yet that’s the magic that Buck-Tick work: they manage to evoke entire genres, moods and time/places without ever lapsing into plagiarism. The closest I could find to that three-note squiggle was an early NIN song (comes in around 0:14 on Down In It) but run through the extreme EE-EE-OU-OO-OH filter sweep of 808 State’s Cübik (comes in at 0:18)

On early listens, the over-brightness of the choruses confused me, dazzled me a bit too much, like stumbling out of a dark, neon-spangled alley into a four-lane, floodlit boulevard, crowded with people and speeding cars. I wanted the song to drop the sudden major chord cathedrals-of-sound distorted guitar fireworks and go back to the irresistible electronic squiggle. But as I struggled to translate the opaque lyrics, I realised that the contrast is the whole point - the sudden bursts of insight. “嗚呼!” is an interjection something like “alas!” Today, yet again, life will hurt. To be human is to suffer; and in suffering, cause pain to others. That’s an inherent quality of being human, rather than divine. The small quantity of poison, the tiny bit of bile among the blood and flesh and bones.

What are we resisting? What are we rebelling against? Giving in to suffering and pain? I've never really been a lyrics person, but Imai's impressionistic snatches of Stoicism and Hedonism have always urged me to live, rather than merely exist.

Best bit: right after the chorus, when the too-dazzling distorted guitar fades away, and the song goes back to its simmering electronic prowl. When the corruscating,clean guitar slices in like a squall of rain around 1:57, caught and repeated in a stuttering electronic glitch, like raindrops bouncing off a tin roof, or the refracted, sparkling reflections of a warm, lighted window on rain-slicked paving stones. A midnight rainy walk doesn't have to be miserable. In fact, the act of walking, paying attention, deep noticing, can turn even an ugly world beautiful.

[heartbreak-sandwich]

Stats Game

Thank you @destroya2005 for tagging me on my main! 🥰 I'm posting on here since this is technically my writing blog lol. I only have 5 fics up on Ao3, and some of these were tied, so I just picked a random one to avoid being too repetitive.

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Most hits: Animal Magnetism - (A Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader Smut fic): After working as a lifeguard for the summer at the Hawkins Community Pool, you get tired of your coworker, Billy Hargrove, pushing you around all the time, so you decide to push back. When the sexual tension between the two of you becomes palpable (and even noticeable to others around you), everything finally boils over in an after hours rendezvous with just you and Billy. You find out that maybe he does kind of like someone telling him what to do after all...

Second most kudos: He's the Bad Guy - (A Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader Smutty Oneshot): You're attending Tina's Halloween Bash and, as expected, bored out of your mind by the lame tropes of a senior high school party when you notice someone taking an interest in you. You've heard all about Billy Hargrove and his reputation with girls, but you're looking for some excitement, and this might just be what you need.

Third most comments: Echoes of Redemption - (A Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader Slow Burn Smutty Fix-it fix): It's September of 1985, and after your high school graduation, you're working full-time at Trax, Hawkins' most frequented record store. After surviving the events of the summer, you and your friends are doing your best to get back into the swing of life and process the newfound traumas of harboring government secrets, battling monsters in an alternate universe of terror, and losing some loved ones along the way. On the plus side, your band Corroded Coffin is increasing in popularity with their newest songs about the battles you'd won in the Upside Down, and your friends are right alongside you every step of the way. What you didn't know was that Billy Hargrove had taken things hard -- extremely hard, in fact -- and has turned over a new leaf, wanting nothing more than to have a place to belong with all of the people who helped him through that fateful 4th of July. A budding romance, learning to live life on life's terms, and whatever lurks in the shadows of the Upside Down won't keep you from making it on time to work and earning your promotion as the newest proud owner of Trax -- you're almost sure of it.

Fourth most bookmarks: Red Letters to Nowhere - (A Stepbro!Billy Hargrove x Mayfield!Reader smutty, angsty, fluffy forbidden love fic): Moving to Hawkins, Indiana was sure to be uneventful and borderline depressing, you told yourself. Between walking on eggshells around your new stepdad, your mom's willful ignorance, mischievous new friends, and your stepbrother's mixed signals, it's anything but boring. You're never sure what exactly has been blossoming between you and Billy Hargrove, but living under the same roof makes it even more complicated to figure out. Thankfully, you have a whirlwind of encounters to distract you from that puzzle with the help of your new circle of comrades featuring Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, and more. Above all, it's you and your little sister, Max, against this whole new world, so buckle up for the ride and hold on tight.

Fifth most words: Full Circle Warnings - (A horror AU fic featuring Eddie Munson & Reader): You set out on a beautiful day to explore the caves near Skull Rock just outside of the abandoned town of Hawkins, Indiana with your friends. The day quickly turns into a whirlwind of mayhem and terror as you ignore your friends' advice and converse with an amicable stranger in the depths. Set in modern day springtime, this short story is sure to send tingles up your spine for the spooky season!

Least words: He's the Bad Guy

I'm tagging anyone who wants to do it! You! Reading this! I tag you! 💕 Because I'm not totally sure who all uses Ao3 and who doesn't lol. But if it sounds fun to you, do it! Tag me, and I will read your stories ❤️‍🔥

[priokskfm]

#MixOfDay #Podcast #Radioshow #LiveDjset Defected B25B - The Ultimate House Music B2B DJ Set (Live from London) As part of our 25th birthday, we invited 25 DJ’s to the Defected basement to go back to back... to back... to back... selecting ONLY 2 tracks each! 🤯 Tracklist: Frankie Knuckles presents Satoshie Tomiie - Tears [FFRR] Dennis Ferrer - Mind Your Step ft. Janelle Kroll (Sam Divine Remix) [DEFECTED] Ferreck Dawn & Jem Cooke - Back Tomorrow [DEFECTED] Shakedown - At Night (Kid Creme Remix) [DEFECTED] KimBlee & Solu Music - Fade (Hannah Wants Remix) [WAVE] Herd & Fitz - Just Can’t Get Enough ft. Abigail Bailey [ALL AROUND THE WORLD] Fabio Aurea - Yini (Serge Devant Remix) [RADIANT] Onsunlade - Envision (Âme Remix) [DEFECTED] Robert Babicz - Astor (Shur-I-Kan Remix) [SYSTEMATIC] Kaz James - Footprints [ANOTHER RECORD LABEL] Rhano Burrel - When Can I Call You ft. Lisa Lee (Tommy Musto & Frankie Bones British Telecom Mix) [NU GROOVE] Lenny Fontana - Holler ft. New York Thunder [ODYSSEY] Cajmere - Midnight ft. Walter Phillips [CAJUAL] Darius Syrossian - Disco Slammer [NOTHING ELSE MATTERS] Olive F - Hot Sauce Bini & Martini - Happiness (David Morales Remix) [OCEAN TRAX] Ministers De La Funk ft. Jocelyn Brown - Believe (Beats & Vocal Edit) [SUBLIMINAL] HoneyLuv Ft. Roland Clark - This Is My Life (Carl Cox Remix) [NOTHING ELSE MATTERS] Inner Life - Ain’t No Mountain High Enough (WhiteNoize Remix) [ULTRA] Deetron - Runnin’ [NU GROOVE] ATFC - Bad Habit ft. Lisa Millett (Majestic Remix) [WHITE LABEL] Majestic - When I Close My Eyes [FREEBEAT] Todd Terje - Inspector Norse [OLSEN] Rudimental, Shermanology, Todd Edwards - Rain [DEFECTED] George Morel - Let’s Groove [STRICTLY RHYTHM] Gorgon City - Real ft. Yasmin [BLACK BUTTER] Soulsearcher - Feelin’ Good [SOULFURIC DEEP] Arielle Free - Feels So Good [DEFECTED] MAW - Backfired ft. India (Dave Lee Club Mix) [MAW] Pete Heller - Big Love (David Penn Extended Remix) [DEFECTED] Riva Starr - Love you Till Tomorrow [GLITTERBOX] Eddie Amador - House Music (Riva Starr Mo’ Disco Remix) [YOSHITOSHI] MFSB - K-Jee [PHILADELIPHIA] Dave Lee ft. Taka Boom - Can’t Get High Without You [SUBLIMINAL] Seamus Haji presents Mekkah - Race of Survival [BIG LOVE] Seamus Haji ft. Mike Dunn - Serious [BIG LOVE] Alcatraz - Giv Me Luv [AM:PM] Smoking Jo & D.Ramirez - In The Night [FAITH] James Brown - Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine (Enzo Is Burning Edit) [WHITE LABEL] Angie Brown - Wish I Didn’t Miss You (Enzo Is Burning Edit) [WHITE LABEL] Smokey Bubblin’ B & Alex Mills - Overpowered [ARMADA SUBJEKT] Inaya Day - Pushing On (ATFC Good Times Vocal Mix) [PEPPERMINT JAM] Floorplan - Funky Souls (GarcyNoise Remake)[RUSH HOUR] TSHA - ID [NINJA] Eats Everything & Chris Lorenzo ft Lily McKenzie - Ghosts [ThreeSixZero] Frankie Knuckles - Tears (Full Intention Mix - Eats Everything ReBeef) [WARNER] Breach - Jack [DEFECTED] Marco Lys - The Story Continues [BAMBOSSA] ATFC & Lisa Millett - Bad Habit (Crusy Remix) [DEFECTED] Low Steppa & Crusy - Bullerengue [DEFECTED] Hard Drive - Deep Inside (Low Steppa Remix) [STRICTLY RHYTHM] Pepe Bradock - Deep Burnt [KIF] Soulsearcher - Can’t Get Enough [DEFECTED] All things Defected: https://ift.tt/r9IlT35 #HouseMusicAllLifeLong #HouseMusic #HouseMusicLovers #Defected #DefectedRecords #DefectedXXV #WeAreHouse #YouAreDefected #B25B #B2B www.priokskfm.online https://ift.tt/0O2HGkK

[ducknotinarow]

For science, I had to do this xD, especially cause of a dumb thing on Twitter with Kezzie

What ABO type are you

"Eh I always knew I had Top dog Energy after all"

Mun kind of hates this result XD but also? it makes for to much sense when reading the descrption Raph in a way is always trying to prove himself to be an Alpha not liking to take orders, questioning authority mainly Leos XD and of course he is very protective of his friends and family. Raphael even himself soon falls into seeing that being his role and job to fill for his loved ones. Even if he often fears not being able to protect everyone. And though I say he is a switch he truly enjoys the top role.

and for fun why not the rest of my raphs, orginally done from phone why 12's is a screen shot but the rest I did at my computer after deciding I wanted to do my other raphs.

87

Alpha-Passing Omega

Congrats, you're an alpha-passing omega. Listen, we all have issues with how people perceive us. Deep down you're a soft little bitch, but you would die before admitting that to anyone who hasn't unlocked at least level 5 friendship with you. In social situations requiring someone to step up and take a leadership position, you will do so, but only if nobody else does first. Your public demeanor makes most people think that you're an alpha, but when you're around people you trust, you can admit that you need to be taken care of sometimes and be vulnerable. Just remember that it's okay to ask for help king.

"Pft whatever maybe i'm a little soft what of it?"

Considering his more laid back behavior this dose fit well. Raph when he needs to be can give of a more aggressive air when need be or when he dose get worked up. Raphael can be pretty bad about going alone on things and not often speaking up about when things upset him lole feeling he failed his detective course. That only Splinter found out he was taking. But Raphael can't even bring himself to fight a robot lool alike of his brother he's a soft bitch deep down especially when it comes to his baby girl uwu

03

True Alpha

Congrats, you're a True Alpha. Either you were actively trying to get this result to prove to your friends that you're not a little bottom bitch, or you're a true and proper Alpha. You're what most people would call a top, and you probably consider yourself a protective member of your friend group. You're the 'he asked for no pickles' kind of motherfucker, and I salute you for that. Thank you for your service to the bottom community.

"Course 'm an Alpha, why I take down anythin' 'hat thinks it can deal wit' me."

And then you recall this guy lies on his shell and spreads his legs for casey uwu but I agree he is fully alpha I mean look at how he's always quick to pick fights and prove him self better no matter his opponent loke Trax or even Leo. So yes he very much dose feel a need to prove he ain't a little bitch. Kind if why he tends to get aggressive sexually when Casey decides to call him princess. In a tad bit of sacrifice on his own end he dose sort of bite back on his pride it's honestly his biggest display of love uwu

SF

True Beta

Congratulations on getting the normal wolf xenogender. When alphas and omegas are doing their intricate horny rituals, you aren't particularly bothered. You're attuned to the feelings of those around you, but you feel like your response on the social dominant/submissive spectrum is determined per situation, not per something intrinsic to you. You'll help out an omega in need as easily as you'll follow the directive of an alpha, and that swiss-army-knife kind of mentality is what we need more of in this batshit insane world. Thank you for your service king.

"I definitely like the Swiss army knife mention."

Honestly this result? I feel fits. In the SF comic and game despite the Fact he fits in with many depictions of Raph, its never him challenging Leo out a need to prove himself better because he disagrees with thie leadership. No this raph seems to have understood something Leo hasn't. They you tend to see later in most Raph's growth. Being a team. That's the only time Raphael tends to get harsh with Leo. And fits with hiw he can go either more Dom or sub with Casey he's pretty chill and relaxed either way. And well despite that whole mess they find themselves in? Raph handled things that happened pretty well for someone with a short temper.

MM

True Alpha

Congrats, you're a True Alpha. Either you were actively trying to get this result to prove to your friends that you're not a little bottom bitch, or you're a true and proper Alpha. You're what most people would call a top, and you probably consider yourself a protective member of your friend group. You're the 'he asked for no pickles' kind of motherfucker, and I salute you for that. Thank you for your service to the bottom community.

"Fuck ya 'm! Ain't nothin' less mad dog of the team!"

The moment I saw Raphael go for protein powered for muscle build I knew this boy was be a pretty typical jock fill role xD and the fact he loves wrestling and joins the team even? Just tells me more I'm right hmjes rowdy and loud and all about violence he knows he's an alpha and everyone else gonna know it to he gotta use his rage!! I just see this boy ready to jump right into conflict needed or not because it's the best way to deal with anything clearly why he met his bestie and boyfriend uwu by kicking their ass. He's very aggressive in that he's not too hesitant about acting on his choices henjust gose for it.

[gaystation4]

Once a valiant and courageous summoner on a journey to save the world of Spira, Yuna had finally found herself in a new chapter of life. In a twist of fate, she embarked on a different path altogether, one that led her straight into the mesmerizing world of music and stardom. Yuna decided to pursue her dreams of becoming an idol, and her talent caught the attention of none other than the prestigious Avex Trax, a renowned entertainment agency.

She eagerly signed a contract to become an idol under Avex Trax, unknowingly binding herself to a slave contract. Filled with optimism and determination, Yuna was initially unaware of the dark side of the music industry she had just entered. As her popularity soared, her involvement in her own career decisions began to dwindle. Yuna started to realize the harsh reality of her slave contract when her freedom was restricted and her every move was controlled by her management.

Despite the overwhelming challenges, Yuna's spirit remained unbroken. She harnessed her determination, resilience, and the EXP gained during her previous quest to find a way out of this predicament. Inspired by her late lover, Tidus, she found solace in her memories and summoned the strength to confront her circumstances head-on.

Yuna dedicated countless hours to honing her talent, attending rigorous training sessions, rehearsing tirelessly, and performing at various gigs around the world. Her journey was a rollercoaster of real emotions, but through it all, she never lost sight of her ultimate goal. She yearned to reclaim her freedom and regain control over her own destiny.

Finally, after months of hard work and perseverance, Yuna received her first substantial paycheck from Avex Trax. As she held the check in her hands, her heart filled with gratitude and satisfaction. It was time to celebrate her first step towards financial independence.

Eager to treat herself, Yuna embarked on a mission to acquire the latest gaming console, the "Gaystation 4," as it was affectionately referred to by gamers within her circle. Its arrival was highly anticipated, and Yuna saw this opportunity as the perfect chance to reward herself for her resilience and unwavering spirit.

With her earnings in hand, Yuna rushed to her local electronics store, excitement coursing through her veins. She carefully selected the highly coveted gaming console, feeling a sense of liberation and joy as she made the purchase. It was not just a console; it signified her triumph over adversity, a symbol of her perseverance and her ability to overcome any obstacle.

As Yuna arrived home, she carefully unboxed her newly acquired "Gaystation 4", eagerly connecting it to her television. With a sense of exhilaration, she logged into the virtual world, ready to embrace a different kind of adventure.

Though her path to stardom remained uncertain, Yuna had proven to herself that her dreams were worth fighting for. And as she fought battles in the virtual world of her console, she also vowed to never stop fighting for her own freedom, always staying true to herself, and never allowing anyone to hold her back.

do not quote the scripture to me chatbot i was there when it was written

[meadechiropracticllc]

How to Use Lo-Bak Trax: Your Guide to Easy Back Pain Relief

Struggling with back pain that just won’t quit? If you’ve been searching for a way to stretch, decompress, and finally get some relief, the Lo-Bak Trax might just be your new best friend. This handy device is designed to help you take control of your back health, no matter where you are.

In this post, we’ll break down exactly how to use Lo-Bak Trax, explore a few simple exercises, and share tips to maximize your results. Ready to say goodbye to stubborn back pain? Let’s dive in! 👇

(PS: Want more details on using Lo-Bak Trax effectively? Check out our guide to lasting relief!)

What Even Is Lo-Bak Trax?

Think of the Lo-Bak Trax as your personal decompression device. It’s a portable, easy-to-use tool designed to help stretch and relieve pressure on your lower back. Chiropractors love it because it mimics some of the techniques they use in-office—except now, you can do it at home!

Whether you’re dealing with sciatica, herniated discs, or just sitting too much, this tool works by gently opening up the space between your vertebrae, giving those tense muscles and nerves a break.

How to Use Lo-Bak Trax: Step-by-Step

1. Set the Scene

Find a comfy, flat surface—think yoga mat, firm bed, or the floor. This is your new chill zone.

2. Get Comfortable

Lie down on your back with your knees bent and feet flat. Position the Lo-Bak Trax under your lower back. Adjust the device to match your body size—it should feel secure, not squished.

3. Start Moving

Gently tilt your pelvis forward and backward to begin stretching your lower back. Think of this as a mini massage for your spine.

4. Try Lo-Bak Trax Exercises

Mix things up with a few stretches:

Knee-to-Chest Stretch: Pull one knee toward your chest, hold for a few seconds, and switch.

Side-to-Side Rocking: Gently sway your hips side-to-side to target your lower back and hips.

Bridge Pose: Engage your glutes and lift your hips off the ground for a deeper stretch.

Lo-Bak Trax Exercises for the Win

Want to level up your back care game? Here are two easy exercises to add to your routine:

✨ The Pelvic Tilt Magic

While lying with the Lo-Bak Trax, focus on tilting your pelvis forward and backward. This stretch loosens up tight lower back muscles and promotes flexibility.

✨ Cat-Cow Combo

Position yourself on your hands and knees, with the Lo-Bak Trax supporting your lower back. Slowly arch and round your spine to release tension.

Why You’ll Love Lo-Bak Trax

Portable & Convenient: It’s small enough to use anywhere—at home, the gym, or even when traveling.

Non-Invasive Relief: Skip the medications or surgeries and go straight for natural traction.

Simple & Effective: It’s so easy to use, you’ll wonder why you didn’t try it sooner.

(For a deeper dive into the benefits, check out our step-by-step instructions for Lo-Bak Trax.)

Pro Tips for Success

Consistency is Key: Use your Lo-Bak Trax a few minutes each day for the best results.

Listen to Your Body: If something doesn’t feel right, stop and check your form—or consult a pro.

Combine With Chiropractic Care: For even better results, pair the device with a visit to your chiropractor.

TL;DR

The Lo-Bak Trax is a game-changer for anyone dealing with lower back pain. From decompressing your spine to incorporating simple exercises, it’s an easy way to take control of your back health.

Ready to give it a go? Check out our chiropractor-approved guide for even more tips and tricks.

Got questions? Let us know in the comments or reach out! Your back will thank you. 🌟

[seraslights]

Sneak Peak

[A sneak peak of chapter 1 from my book]

Sweat glistened on my skin, showing how hard I've worked. All I need is a chance, a single opportunity, just to prove my worth. My grip tightened on the 'sword' as I rushed to the training dummy. I raised the sword, ready to attack when I froze. "Girl, when's that whore of a mother going to pick a suitor?" I turn, my eyes widening upon seeing Sivaikh Ivrenor.

I take a step back, glaring at the man in front of me. "She won't be taking any suitors Ivrenor." I hiss, anger bubbling in my veins. "And don't insult her, she's the queen and deserves respect." Sivaikh scoffs, rolling his eyes. Three other men stood behind him, all smirking. "You and your mother are pathetic, it's been twenty years and you still think he's coming home? Your father is dead and the people need a king." My eyes narrowed at his words, the men behind him nodding in agreement.

"Stop. Calling. My mother. A whore." I growl, feeling my anger boiling up even more. I was getting sick of his insults and his pride. "What're you going to do about it?" Sivaikh mocked, crossing his arms with a smug smirk. He underestimated me, they all did. They saw me as weak, just another pair of legs to give an heir. My lack of reaction seemed to amuse him and he smirked stepping forward. He gripped my tunic, "Well?" Time seemed to slow around me,

"Well? Are you just going to stand there or are you going to kick his ass?" I didn't think, I didn't question the voice that suddenly seemed to pop in my head as I punched Sivaikh. He let go, stumbling back from the amount of force I used. My own hand burned in pain from the action. "Good job kid but next time, go for the throat not the face." Again, I ignore the voice having decided to figure it out later. "You wench." Sivaikh growled.

"Wench!? The audacity of this man." He raised his fist, ready to punch me but I acted faster. I deflect his attack making him miss and fall to the ground. I scowl and turn, glaring at the three men who looked at me in shock. "My father will return and when he does I'll watch as you're killed for your insolence."

Without another word I turn, leaving the training grounds. My heart raced, adrenaline pumping through my veins. How did I do that? Better yet, how did I survive that? As I turn a corner a black mist appeared and vanished as quickly as it came. Left in it's place was a man with short black hair and eyes. His skin was pale and he had a devilish smirk on his lips.

"You're impressive." He purred, circling around me. My eyes narrowed as we watched each other. I examined his tattoos that stood out against his pale skin, his red horns that curled back from his hair. "Who're you?" I question, stepping away from him. "I'm Trax, I help little birdie's like yourself in battle if I deem you worthy." Worthy, what does he find in me that's 'worthy' of his help? He smiled, cocking his head to the side clearly amused by my confusion. As if sensing my doubt he spoke,

"You're very much worthy, Eva Karaliadi. A princess with a warrior's spirit is a very rare find. So many princess's are spoiled girls who hide away in their castles but you, you fight." He grinned and stepped closer. "So I've decided to train you in my practice but in return, you honor me." I blink, becoming even more confused. "How would I honor you?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "The same way you'd honor any 'god' or 'goddess' you mortals worship. Candles, Incense, following my practices. Not that hard birdie." I nod my eyes never leaving his own. "Will," I pause, looking away from him. "Will I be able to protect my mother this way?" He was silent for a moment before lifting my chin to look at him. "Of course. I will train you to fight and defend your home."

He gave a soft smile before his grip tightened and his glare hardened. "But I warn you now, step a toe out of line and you're on your own. I don't take my teachings lightly, am I clear?" "Crystal."

[8dpromo]

Kenny Knight - Till the Morning Light (Coastline Recordings)

8DPromo · Kenny Knight - Till the Morning Light (Coastline Recordings)

Kenny Knight, the mastermind behind Coastline Recordings, brings his multifaceted musical background to the forefront in his latest single, "Till the Morning Light." This two-track release showcases Knight's ability to blend organic instrumentation with electronic elements, resulting in a nostalgic but fresh sound. The Main Mix of "Till the Morning Light" is a soulful house journey that transports listeners to the heyday of funk and disco. Knight's saxophone prowess shines through, weaving melodic phrases between vocal samples that evoke the spirit of 1980. The track's backbone is a groove-laden bassline, complemented by mood-setting piano chords and retro-inspired synth strings that paint a vivid sonic landscape. The Dub Mix offers a stripped-back version that spotlights Knight's masterful production techniques for those who prefer house music with a more instrumental flavor. The vocals take a backseat, allowing the intricate interplay of sax, synths, and rhythm to captivate the listener. Both mixes demonstrate Knight's unique approach to house music, honed through years of experience as a multi-instrumentalist and DJ. "Till the Morning Light" is the next step in Knight's musical journey, from his early days with saxophone and guitar to his current role as a label head and producer.

Mark Doyle (Hedkandi) – “Great track. Full support from Hedkandi Radio.” Juan Moreno (Traum Schallplaten) – “Nice track. Perfect for the dancefloor.” DJ Leandro P. (Nylon Trax) – “Dope track, all my support for this.” Rick Preston (Viva Recordings) – “Another amazing production from Kenny.” Piiit (So Watt) – “It’s a dancefloor hit!” Simon Kirk (Proton Radio) – “The Dub Mix is just wonderful.” Wilbour Craddock (Groovewest) – “Love me some soulful house, and this is oozing soul. This has a vibe.”

Available Now From: Traxsource, Beatport, Apple Music, And Spotify.

[austin-rapp]

"Woww, check you out, they look so good. And I think I might, I just didn't want to try and tip the ladder over. I did not feel like busting my ass today." She felt herself blush at Lyrica's words, always feeling like she felt most nervous these days when she was in close proximity to Lyrica. "Well, that's reassuring," she said instead and as soon as Lyrica grabbed the ladder, Mae made her way down with ease. When she got to the bottom, they were face to face and Mae was sure the blush deepened. "Thanks, you saved my ass and my mural, now neither will look like shit. Were you heading to Trax? Show off your new kicks to all of your favorite coworkers?" She reached for the brush in Lyrica's hand and took it gently before taking a step back to catch her breath. "I was hoping I'd see you soon, wanted to tell you how amazing your set was at the Halloween party. Kind of made the whole night worth it. And I was starting to feel grumpy that Afra had talked me into it until I saw you."

Lyrica had been enjoying the Psychedelic Furs' 'Love My Way' on her headphones when she heard the muffled voice of someone. "Huh?" She asked, as she pulled down the headphones to look to find Mae Rapp up on the ladder in front of her. "Thanks for the warning, I just got these air forces–" She let the woman know as she stuck out her foot to show off the sneakers. Lyrica had actually been on her way to Traxs, but how could she say no to a friend in distress? "Aye, Aye captain." She told the other woman, as she made her way towards the table she'd set up to grab her said smaller brush. "Now, are you sure you're going to be able to make it down?" She asked Mae, as she grabbed a hold of the ladder. "You know, it's just one step down and then another step. Eventually you'll be back on solid ground, next to me. You've got this."

[rodanmusic]

Slim Hustla - Remain Unseen (Original Mix)

[heartbreak-sandwich]

CHAPTER TWO: YOU JUST HAVE TO MEAN IT

NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI

Part One if you would like to start at the beginning 💕 Part Three if you're ready to move on.

Chapter Two is SFW content (though later there WILL be NSFW content, therefore, the 18+ label) - here's slightly more background, but we'll get into some feels this time.

A/N: HERE IS PART TWO! This contains some feels, and I think this is a moment that so many of us have needed - at least I have. A little more background setup, and the next part will get the story moving a little more. I still don't have a title (*surprise*), but I think that will come along as the story unfolds. As usual, check the tags for hints on what's to come, and THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading, and I love you very much!!

Eddie scooped up the mushy green pile of guacamole on his plate with two fingers and flung it onto the ground with a glop. The street tacos were more than satisfactory for 25 cents apiece, and everyone was chattering about that night’s impending show with their mouths full and their hands greasy.

“What do you mean you’re not going to sing Pat Benetar?! Everyone loves Pat Benetar,” Steve protested, breaking out into a very unique rendition of “Shadows of the Night.”

“It’s not that kind of music, Steve,” you replied through a giggle. Steve gestured as if to say “whatever” and indulged himself in another taco while Eddie started refastening his rings to each of his digits, taking care to make sure they were all facing the correct way.

“Harrington, while I am no music taste basher, I will say that you are a pathetically poor judge of genre. What does the phrase ‘progressive metal music’ mean to you, dear boy?” Eddie broke out his Olde English accent for this question, and Steve knew it was only a matter of moments before you and Eddie both started teasing him mercilessly, and he didn’t have the means to defend himself against a Hellfire ambush right now.

“Well, it’s about time to get going back,” he managed to convey around his last bites of street taco. “You don’t want to be late for work twice in one day.” Your mouth fell open in mock offense as you backhanded him on the shoulder before standing up from the park bench you were all sitting at.

As the three of you made your way back up the sidewalk to Trax, you decided to share what had been floating around in your head since you left the shop. “It was kind of weird seeing Billy be so unphased about you running into him. You stepped right on his shoe, and he didn’t even complain. Not a single insult. Did you notice?”

Steve scoffed. “Yeah. That doesn’t make me any more glad to see him though.” He kicked a rock a few feet out in front of him, and Eddie took a skip forward and made the next kick.

“I don’t know,” Eddie mused. “I think something might have clicked in the douchebag. Tommy was trying to pay some kid to key my van when I picked Dustin up from school the other day, and Billy totally rocked his shit in front of everyone. Told him he’d be dead if Billy ever caught him trying to mess with me again.”

“What?!” you and Steve gawked in unison, both of you coming to an abrupt halt.

“And you didn’t think to, maybe, I don’t know, mention that?” Steve’s eyebrows almost met his hairline in surprise. “Dude, how could you not tell us this?” You could tell he was actually slightly offended, so you decided to soften the mood with an irrelevant question.

“And what was Billy doing in the parking lot of the high school?” You resumed the game of kick the rock so everyone would continue down the sidewalk again.

“Picking up Max is my best guess,” Eddie replied, taking his skip forward for the rock.

“Yeah, well, a few good deeds don’t erase a whole year of being a total prick to anything that breathes,” Steve grumbled, keeping his eyes on the ground and taking his turn to kick the rock.

“Out of any of us here, you would do well to remember that people can change if they want to, Steve,” you said, giving him an affectionate side eye. “It wasn’t even two years ago that you were King Steve, being just as much of a prick to Jonathan as Billy was to you. Give him some time. See what it’s all about. That’s my suggestion.”

Steve sighed heavily and gestured toward the front door of Trax as Eddie opened it for you. No one said another word as you entered the building, sloppy salutes signaling the end of the conversation, and the two guys continued on their return to Steve’s car.

–

Screeching tires alerted everyone in the Hawkins High parking lot of the arrival of a slick blue Camaro. Billy flicked his cigarette out of his window and saw Max swiftly approaching his passenger side door, her ginger hair flowing steadily behind her, skateboard resting on her shoulder. She slid into the seat beside Billy’s and clunked her bag and board down by her feet.

“Max,” Billy said dryly, keeping his aviator sunglasses fixed on the windshield in front of him.

“I’m not late,” she replied, a slight tone of annoyance in her voice.

“I know,” Billy stated, reminding himself to soften his jaw when he spoke to her. “I just want to talk when we get home, if you’re not, you know, busy or whatever.” Max just stared at him, incredulous.

“You want to…talk? About what?”

“Nothing, okay? Nothing until we get home.” The sharpness returned to Billy’s voice as he gripped the gearshift and peeled them out of the parking lot. Max was completely lost for words, but she complied with Billy’s instruction and tried to zone in on Ted Nugent’s “Wango Tango” for the trillionth time as Billy sped down the side roads to their home on Cherry Lane.

Max hurried through the front door and straight to her room to discard her things. She was eager to know what Billy could possibly want to talk about, but she was also afraid to ask. After everything they had experienced this past year, it could be anything, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for anything again. She turned around to find Billy standing in her doorway with his eyes down at his shoes. Why was he acting so weird? This wasn’t like him at all, and it made a hint of anxiety start to creep down her neck, giving her the shivers.

“Billy?” she said, unable to hide the concern in her voice.

Billy shuffled his feet where he stood and started to fidget with his sunglasses in his hands, still not making eye contact with Max. “I need to ask you something, and you have to swear not to make fun of me. I’m dead serious,” he said, his ocean blue eyes finally making stone cold eye contact.

“Okay. I promise.” Max’s voice shook slightly, and she took a seat on her bed to steady herself.

“I need to know how to apologize,” Billy admitted, his eyes falling back down to the ground.

“Apologize? For what?” He must have hit his head, Max thought. There was no way this was actually Billy talking.

“For being…ugh.” Billy let out a painful sigh and took the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “For making everyone’s lives hell this past year.” Max’s eyes were wide, her mouth hanging open in shock. He had apologized to her, and they had what she would consider a pretty fair conversation about their sibling relationship, but this was completely unexpected. He wanted to apologize to The Party?

“I mean, I guess you just…say it, you know? You just say it, and you hope for the best, and that’s all you can do.”

Billy was unimpressed. “That’s it?” he asked with a scoff. “That can’t be it. It needs to be more. Needs to be better than that or there’s no way in hell they’re going to take me seriously.”

“You just have to mean it,” Max replied, her eyes softening as she came to the realization that this was really important to him. She had never seen him like this before, and it was clear that he really felt remorse, and he wanted something to change.

“Max,” Billy choked, his voice breaking. A tear fell from his face making a tiny tap on his shoe, and Max stood up abruptly.

“Billy, it’s going to be okay,” she said, her own eyes welling up now. She had only ever seen him cry once.

“Max, I’m so sorry. I know you said you forgave me, and I know things have been different ever since July, but I’m just so sorry.” Billy was speaking softly through sobs now. “Max, I can’t be the same as I was. I can’t explain it. Nothing can ever be the same as it was before everything that happened, and I don’t know who I am anymore.” Billy brought his hands up to his face, covering his eyes as he continued to choke out words as best as he could. “I’m so sorry, Max. You didn’t deserve that. Nobody did. I need to make things right, but I don’t know how.”

“Billy.” Max stook a few steps toward him, palming his shoulder gently. “I know there has always been a part of you that wants to be good. I forgave you because I really believed that. All you can do is say it, mean it, and try. Just keep trying.” Billy reached his arms out and gave Max a firm hug. He had no idea how badly he had always needed to hear that, and in that moment, he found himself eternally grateful he had a little sister.

After a few seconds of the second hug they had ever shared, Billy let go, and Max took a step back, both of them wiping their eyes, noses red and puffy from the flare of emotion. Billy patted Max on the shoulder and pivoted on his heel to leave her bedroom. Max turned her attention to her backpack and mentally prepared herself to start her homework.

“Max?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” Billy half smiled, and Max could tell his gratitude was genuine.

“Anytime.” She returned his half smile, and Billy sauntered away into the other room. Max found herself, for the first time ever, feeling really proud of her brother.

[priokskfm]

#MixOfDay #Podcast #Radioshow #LiveDjset Funkier Sounds Episode 120 - Marshall (UK) Guest Mix My hour in this episode was mostly made up of stuff I’ve recently downloaded. I love these episodes because you never know where they’re going to go next, and there were plenty of twists and turns as I flipped through the genres and gradually cranked up the pace. Hour two was a high energy affair, with a mighty fine guest mix from Matthew Marshall, AKA Marshall (UK). Matt brought us some high grade disco, french touch and jackin’ for an hour of big, bold and tasty beats. Show Marshall some love if you will - https://ift.tt/RTFwBiV https://ift.tt/YRCn4rS HOUR 1 TRACKLIST 1 Afrodesia - Desert Storm 2 XL Middleton - Love When It Comes Down To It 3 Parliament - Unfunky UFO 4 Those Guys From Athens - Human 5 Even Funkier - Touch My Bumper 6 Moon B - Anything 7 Crackazat - Do You Think About Me 8 Alex Blex - Nice move, Peter- (Yuksek Remix) 9 Saucy Lady - Why 10 Lord Funk - Sexy Body 11 Rudi'Kastic - Mama Said 12 Nebraska, Part 1 - A Weekend On My Own (Time Has Come (Part 1)) 13 Polo & Pan X Red Axes - Mumia (Polo & Pan Remix) 14 Manuel Kane, Mo-Cream - Nightvision (Mo-Cream Remix) 15 T-Markakis, Demarkus Lewis - The Record (Demarkus Lewis Remix) 16 Tom Jones - Venus (Sam Shelley Funky Breaks Edit) 17 Sunlightsquare, Atjazz - Oyelo (Atjazz Love Soul Remix) 18 Risk Assessment, Sebb Junior - Hurt Me (Sebb Junior Club Mix) 19 Luis Radio - Reaching Out 20 Roy Of The Ravers - Emotinium MARSHALL (UK) GUEST MIX Marshall (UK)'s Guest Mix (Even Funkier Radio Show) Nov 2023 T.Markakis & Drago - Darkest Hours (Large Music) Dave Leatherman, Bruce Nolan & HP Vince - Loads Of Love (2nd Time Around) Dim Zach - Touch Me (Electric Friends Music) Magnolia Ft Elliot Chapman - Deep Inside My Soul (Disco Express) Ten City - That's The Way Love Is (Soul Avengerz Extended Mix)(Ultra Records) Dave Kurtis - Bang In You (Original Mix)(Tasty Recordings) Vaudafunk - Promenade (Frappé Records) Light Boy - Step Back (Untidy Trax) Moon Rocket, Corrado Rizza, Black Connection - Give Me Rhythm (Full Mix Extended)(Moon Rocket Music) Kano - I'm Ready (Mousse T's Extended Club Remix)(Fulltime Production) Da Lukas & Suki Soul - Ain't Coming Down (Midnight Riot) Radio, Podcast, House, "funkier sounds", "radio show", "jackin house", "disco house", "french touch", "disco waltons" www.priokskfm.online https://ift.tt/H46Llhu